#rat bro Brody

[marblepony]

i have spoken

[thebrisingamen]

Ridonculous Race

Taking a break from the Island Runs to to RR!! Also just as Pokemon, since there are SO many teams. Under the cut

Starting with

THE GOTHS: Crimson & Ennui are both Meowstics, since they're the most in-sync with each other and the most supportive toward each other in the entire series. Thus, a Meowstic Set makes sense since Psychic types can learn Dark type moves, and Meowstic has seen and survived the horrors.

Bonus, their Bunny Loki would be a Bunnelby

THE ICE DANCERS: Josee would be a Weavile, graceful but scheming, while her partner Jacques would be a Gallade; also graceful, while more well-meaning, loyal to a fault.

THE BESTIES: Devin would be a Slowbro because he is useful but man is this man dumb how tf did he never notice Carrie liking him like c'mon bro its OBVIOUS. Carrie is a Goomy as I think she means well, but she came off as a little clingy.

THE SURFERS: Geoff makes his return, and he is a Surfing Pikachu still, joined by his surfer friend Brody, who is an Alolan Raichu. Again, both of them are pretty chill and pick on vibes easily enough, but can get caught up in their own egos from time to time.

THE POLICE CADETS: Sanders is a Growlithe and MacArthur I made a Herdier as Sanders seems to be thoughtful and figure things out, While MacArthur is very loud and charges ahead without thinking things through all the time. By the time things wrap, they would both evolve into their final evolutions, to showcase their growth.

THE DATERS/THE HATERS: Stephanie and Ryan are pretty much constantly arguing and breaking up/making up, plus are self-proclaimed gym rats, so I made them Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee; constant rivals, working out, working well together but also easily becoming each others enemies, like they do in the show.

THE TENNIS PROS: I made Pete a Gumshoos and Gerry a Crabrawler. Honestly, I just picked pokemon that looked like old men for them, since that was their schtick.

THE SISTERS: These two took a while, since I wanted a related set of Pokemon. I eventually settled on making Emma a Gardevoir and Kitty a Kirlia, as both girls are reported to be smart but can get overwhelmed by emotion

FATHER AND SON: I couldn't figure out what to do with Dwayne for the longest time, until I settled on Delibird, because although it is cute, it could be considered a little goofy, dorky and older. It is why I made Jr a Shinx; younger pokemon, but a completely opposite type, to explain his disconnection with his father at times.

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER: Since they were clearly Kardashian parodies, I had to go for wealthy, fancy pokemon. They are also the least adept, so I went with Normal types for them. I made Kelly a Cinccino and Taylor a Delcatty.

THE FASHION BLOGGERS: I made them similar types or similar looking types of Pokemon, that had a lot to do with Fashion. Jen I made a Leavanny, which is noted to make its own clothes and the judgement of the middle evolution never left them. Tom I made a Lurantis, to differ him a bit but also keep him stylish.

THE GENIUSES: Obviously, both are psychic types. Ellody I made an Indeedee due to the tireless amount of work she puts into everything, and I made Mary a Farigiraf, as clearly the TD team design wanted her to be weird, but she's actually pretty cool; she's also more willing to adapt to other things, unlike her partner.

THE VEGANS: I made Laurie a Bayleef, as she seemed ready to throw down, especially after the food challenge and Bayleef is noted to kind of give of a vibe of aggression while being a plant pokemon. Miles I made a Lilligant, as once again another plant pokemon, whose performance can be quickly outstripped by others.

THE LARPers: Wow another one joke team. Anyways, to kind of match the vibes, I made Leonard a Medicham and Tammy and Escavalier. They were there so briefly, it was hard to think what others would fit.

THE ADVERSITY TWINS: I made Mickey a Feebas and Jay a Magikarp, as both ugly fish are portrayed as going through adversity and once they evolve, they do become better at surviving everything.

THE REALITY TV PROS: Owen and Noah have evolved from their stints on Total Drama to a Xatu and a Snorlax. See that post for their original pokemon choice.

THE ROCKERS: Spud is almost dumber than Devin, so I made him a Slowpoke, and Rock I made a Luxio; kind of in the middle of being useful but not too much.

Finally

THE STEP BROTHERS: Chet is a Pikachu-Colored Pichu and Lorenzo is a Spiky Eared Pichu. I specifically chose these Event pokemon because they were presented as a pair and are literally nearly identical, which the Step-Brothers, in personality, definitely are. They grow closer through the challenge and end up becoming friends, but enemies at first.

Bonus:

DON, THE HOST: Persian, as he's also part of the original 151 like Chris, but he's a much less successful host as we only meet/see him in RR, but he's got better stats. More than likely because he invested his time/money better

BLAINELY: I don't care for her enough to give her a pokemon. I guess she'd be a weezing or grimer, considering? Poison Type, anyways

[ratdadarts]

"Not all men" ur absolutely right Chase Brody would never treat me this way

[getgcne]

The Head On survivor perk but now it’s Brody’s and he just hides in lockers until an unsuspecting survivor stumbles upon him and then just fucking headbutts them

[torishasupremacy]

total drama characters as stuff i've heard ppl say during virtual learning

Noah: What do you lose most often? My dignity.

Sierra: Internet be like: popping off.

Leshawna: I have no shame and whatever, I have great dance moves that the world should see.

Trent: Take your guitar and get out of Applebees.

Courtney: That’s what I’d say I was. Little, but aggressive. I could kill you.

Justin: He’s a very pretty boy.

Gwen: Gendering a dog to begin with is cringe.

Izzy: I can’t tell if it’s too early in the morning or if you all think I’m crazy. Both options are fine.

Ezekiel: I don’t know a lot about… stuff

Owen: I put my soul into this big wheel of cheese just for you.

Heather: You want an actual healthy friendship? That’s a first.

Geoff: I opened my little notebook to get some paper and three sexy cowboy stickers fell out.

DJ: I just tried to bless my cat and he bit me.

Beth: I am not a screamer, okay.

Duncan: We don’t care about the authorities here, that’s for sure.

Cody: That is Country Roads Take Me Home on ocarina.

Harold: Gotta love how the Polish national novel is about Poland getting invaded by 3 countries at once including Sweden.

Tyler: What do you mean how do you play sports in quarantine? You just go to a park and go ham.

Alejandro: Last time I was in Ojai my brother broke both of his arms. Fun story.

Lindsay: Pomeranian? Is that a horse breed?

Mike: This man seems unnecessarily tall.

Dawn: Oh dear. Oh my. Oh Septimus Prime. Oh dear.

Zoey: What a classic kerfuffle.

Scott: I felt like a wet rat. Wet rats are unhappy, if you didn’t know.

Dakota: Turn on your cameras and be known.

Scarlett: To use the academic language for it, to vampire the self.

Sugar: I want to feel the soft Nevada dirt on my arms, legs, and body.

Max: I’ve been thinking about how to use the standard chair as a weapon most effectively.

Sammy: Y’all I’m a horse. Too subservient.

Dave: I am… I am losing my mind.

Shawn: Lawnmowers are really better at removing toes. Teeth are really the weed whacker thing.

Jasmine: If something is green and it’s not on plants you should never ever ingest it

Brody: Bro if you don’t make me salami peanut butter surprise.

Devin: My name is Herbert Truffle and my wife left me.

Josee: I thought I had mind powers this whole time.

Sanders: Look, I don’t think you’re really fork lift certified.

Ennui: It’s not that I’m doing fine, it’s that I’ve reached a level of indifference where nothing really affects me anymore.

MacArthur: The glass breaking your knuckles makes them stronger. I know this from experience.

Dwayne: I have to get someone else in my house having a meeting to close the door. I won’t mention names, because that would not be fair to my wife.

Crimson: I love wearing my gothic sabatons while dressing up in traditional Swedish garb and listening to power metal.

Stephanie: I yell, so just get used to it. But I mean it with lots of love.

Laurie: I think crystals- I don’t have any. But auras are like, chill. 

Ellody: I love segmented bar charts and you should too.

Chef: Who doesn’t have three bodies in their basement?

Chris: Welcome to the lawless zone, everybody.

[immabethehero]

Schneeplestein Apparently Has a Heart

The good doctor’s birthday is here and of course I wrote a story! Just warning, this story is quite dark. Read the trigger warnings below.

TW: Suicide attempt by gunshot (not seen, just implied), suicidal thoughts and words, extreme distress, minor violence, blood mentioned.

For the short amount of time that Jackieboy Man and Marvin the Magnificent have lived with Dr. Henrik Nicholas von Schneeplestein, MD, PhD, MVP, FFS, they have learned a few important lessons, or rules:

NEVER, under any circumstances, touch the top left cupboard on the outside of the kitchen opening. That’s where Schneep’s coffee supply is, and if you touch it, even ONCE, Schneep will be out for your blood.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you mention Schneep’s wife, Lisette Schneeplestein. Apparently, the French brunette whom Schneep has been married to for the past 7 years has fucked off (Schneep’s words) back to France with her tennis instructor, Rick, short for Ricardo (Italian, apparently) and taken their two daughters with her. (Schneep has cleaned out Lisette and the girls’ rooms, and all the belongings they have left behind, in their efforts to leave so quickly, are packed away in storage containers in the garage. Schneep has yet to mail them to Lisette’s new address.)

DO NOT wake Schneep earlier than 10 AM in the morning if it’s his one day off. Despite having an early bird’s job, Schneep is not a morning person. Another reason why Schneep is dependent on coffee.

UNLESS it is an emergency, no one but Schneep is allowed in his office. As there are so many things to keep track of, and so many papers that could easily be misplaced, it is best not to touch, or even go inside the office, lest you want to throw the doctor off his game or have the doctor throw you off a cliff.

Despite these four unspoken yet very specific rules, Marvin and Jackie have learned one more this past month: despite the doctor’s arrogant, haughty, snappy, disgusting, even FERAL demeanour, he truly is a good person.

It just took a new ego to show them that.

March 30th, 2017. Schneep’s mail has been unceremoniously thrown onto the dining room table. Schneep’s hands, long and graceful, slide through the envelopes and fliers, organizing them into piles, from taxes and business inquiries to subscriptions and sales.

Jackie lazily eats his cereal, watching Schneep sort through the mail like a madman. Geez, just how popular is this guy?! It’s almost as wild as Jack’s mail. At least there’s more interesting stuff for Jack... drawings, letters of encouragement and thanks, even the rare crocheted or sculpted gift.

Schneep freezes when he comes across a particular letter, one with a cutesy pin cupcake logo. His eyes grow solemn as he picks it up and shakily opens it. Jackie cocks his head.

“Something wrong, doctor?” he asks lightly.

Schneep looks up. “Hm? Oh!” He sighs. “It’s from a baking class Sophia and I used to take together. Lisette had insisted I learn how to cook as well, so it wouldn’t always be her making the meals, and she figured it would be good bonding for me and Sophia. Soph loved those classes. We’d learn all sorts of fascinating recipes and bring the results home. They were fun, and very sweet.”

Jackie nods seriously. He knows he should leave it there, but something’s confusing him. “It’s been quite a few months since you stopped going. Why are they sending you stuff now?”

Schneep unfolds the letter. As he reads it, his eyes widen and a smile begins curling at his lips.

Somehow, that only makes more questions. “What…?”

“It’s not the company themself, it’s Chase! He was a friend from the classes! I haven’t spoken to him in forever! He’s such a lovely person, it’d be nice to see him again!” Schneep grabs his phone and hastily types in the number at the bottom of the letter. He squeals and runs off, like a teenager who just got a text from their crush.

The letter lies on the table, open for all to read. Jackie knows better than to pry into other people’s lives, but this letter is wide open, and it’s not like Schneep needs to know, so the superhero leans over and reads.

Hey Henrik,

This is probably weird to get, but I lost your phone number and I don’t know what your address is, so I asked the dudes at the baking class if I could send a letter to you via their services.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I thought I’d better check in and see how you’re doing, see how bachelor life is treating you. Stacy and the kids miss seeing you as well. I wanna talk to you again.

My cell is #1273-545-8903.

Hope to see you soon!

Chase Brody

Chase Brody. That sounds like an American to Jackie’s ears. He does seem like a good person, if Schneep’s reaction wasn’t enough. He must have been a friend for Schneep when the doctor went through his divorce.

The name itself sounds familiar, like a local celebrity or something. Jackie makes a mental note to look it up later. He leans back and finishes his cereal just as Schneep comes back, holding his phone out. Marvin finally emerges, his green hair resembling a rat’s nest, and no mask. Jackie takes pride in the fact that Marvin now feels comfortable enough to show his face in front of Schneep and Jackie.

“Well, change of plans, I won’t be able to come home in time for dinner with you guys,” Schneep announces. Jackie nods.

“Wait what? Why?” Marvin slurs, slumping down at the dining room table.

“I’m going to see Chase after my shift today. We agreed to meet in the park,” Schneep explains curtly, and leaves.

“Did I miss something?” Marvin asks, turning to Jackie. Jackie nods down to the letter. Marvin leans over to read, only for the letter to be snatched up by the doctor.

“Who said you could go through my stuff?!” Schneep snapped. He stormed off, letter clutched firmly in his hand. Marvin sneers at Jackie, who only shrugs and winks. The magician rolls his eyes, but he understands. A shrug and a wink means I’ll tell you later.

Schneep throws on his brown coat and grabs his bag. “Have a nice day, boys. If I don’t see you later tonight, sweet dreams and I’ll see you in the morning.” He flies out, coat flapping behind him.

“He’s gotta show me how he rocks an overcoat so well. I’m jealous of the way he holds himself. So professional,” Marvin remarks. He quickly turns to Jackie. “Spill the tea.”

“Schneep’s meeting an old friend from a baking class he used to take with his daughter,” Jackie says. “His name is Chase Brody. The name sounds so familiar to me, and I don’t know why.”

“Look it up on your phone,” Marvin suggests. Jackie does just that.

Immediately, Wikipedia comes to the egos’ rescue. Chase Brody, (born April 11th, 1988)  is an American-Irish Youtuber who is best known for his Youtube channel, Bro Average. As of February 2017, his channel has over 20 million views and over 10 million subscribers.

“Oh yeah, the trickshot vlogger!” Jackie says. “I like watching his stuff, he’s a funny dude.”

Marvin nods. “He must have kids as well.  He wouldn’t be taking classes if he didn’t.”

Jackie scrolls down to Personal Life. “‘Chase is married to Stacy Matthews, and they have three children as of 2017, two biological twins, and one recently adopted daughter.’” The selfie provided shows a man with fair skin and bright blue eyes standing next to a red-headed lady doing a duckface.

“Hm. Sounds like he’s living the good life,” Marvin says. “A well-paid job, a nice family, a happy life.”

Boy, is he wrong.

At 5 PM exactly, Schneep sits at the bench by the great oak tree, waiting for Chase. He wraps his blue and navy scarf tighter around his neck as a cool breeze whisks by. Despite what the weather people promised, Athlone is nowhere near warm, despite it being spring. He examines the park-goers who walk by, picking up on every accident that could occur.

Parents swinging their child up and down: a broken arm, arms could pull out of their sockets, or the child could fall on their head and get a concussion. Or worse, permanent brain injuries.

Kids climbing trees: Another chance to fall and hit their tiny heads and sustain brain damage, if not that, broken limbs and splinters.

Teenagers skateboarding: more broken bones and limbs, but at least SOME are smart enough to put pads and helmets on. Others have no chance of recovering fully from brain damage or concussions should they fall on their heads-

“Henrik!” Henrik snaps to life and looks around. A man wearing a puffy black jacket, torn jeans and a snapback with a pink skull on it runs over to him. Schneep stands up.

“Chase Brody! Wie geht es dir mein freund?” Schneep cries out in delight, holding his arms out. Chase happily throws himself into them.

“I’m doing as well as I can, at least. It’s so good to see your face,” Chase sighs. He nuzzles Henrik’s hair, taking in the sanitizer and mint smell he’s gotten used to. “I’ve missed you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Schneep says. “Come, sit down next to me! Tell me how things have been.  How are Stacy and your kids? Has Chloe adjusted to the new timezone yet?” Chloe is Chase’s recently adopted daughter from China. Schneep’s last visit with the Brody’s involved meeting her.

Chase’s smile fades and he sits down next to Schneep. “Um…”

Schneep’s stomach sinks. “That’s never good. What happened? Who died?!”

“Calm down, Henrik!” Chase exclaims. “No one died! Everyone’s fine. Chloe’s adjusted quite nicely.”

“Then why do you look so sad?!” Schneep cries.

Chase fidgets with his jacket zipper, mumbling incomprehensibly. Henrik leans closer. “Didn’t catch that.”

“StacyandIaregettingadivorce,” Chase whispers. Schneep’s stomach flips and sinks.

“What?”

“Stacy and I are getting divorced,” Chase repeats, louder now. “She said she still loves me, but not quite in a… romantic way, I guess. She wants us to just be friends.”

“Well, at least she still wants to be on friendly terms, I guess!” Schneep says. “Still, I can’t believe it… you two were such a sweet couple… so in love…”

“There’s another reason why she wants a divorce,” Chase admits. Schneep’s eyes turn wide as saucers.

“She’s seeing someone. An old friend from high school. I’ve seen her texts,” Chase says. He scrunches up the end of his shirt, nose wrinkling. Schneep hears him sniff.

“I don’t know how long it’s gone on… and I know she didn’t mean to… but still…” Chase finally looks up, eyes tearing. “How could she do that? I would have been okay with it! Maybe. I don’t know!” Chase buries his face in his hands.

Schneep pats Chase’s shoulder gently. He can’t believe Stacy cheated! She and Chase were such a romantic couple! They seemed so happy! Why would Stacy throw that all away for some whore? “What a bitch…”

Chase suddenly whacks Schneep’s hand off, eyes fierce. “Don’t call her that! It’s not like that!  At least she still wants me in her life! She’s not like Lisette!” An awkward silence fills the air.

Chase gasps. “Henrik, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way-”

“Oh!” Schneep cries. “It’s fine! It’s no big deal!” Yeah, that was a low blow, but he would rather Chase doesn’t end up like him: cranky, alienating, friendless, alone. He needs a friend more than ever.

“No it’s not, I just sunk really low! You must be furious-”

“I’m not, I promise!” He’s not, surprisingly. Is this growth?! What the fuck?!

“I need to control myself better. I’m a grownup, for fuck’s sake, I should know better…” Chase moans, burrowing his head in his hands again.

“Chase!” Schneep exclaims. “You mustn’t beat yourself up like that! You’re one of my very best friends, which isn’t saying much because I don’t have any, but still! You have to be one of the nicest people I know! You’re anything but a dick!”

“I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better,” Chase mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m not, I swear !” Schneep says.

“I’m sorry, Henrik, I really am,” Chase says.

“I forgive you,” Schneep says, and means it. “I’m serious.”

“I should go,” Chase decides, standing. Schneep gets up as well.

“What? No! I’m not mad!” he protests.

“It’s my turn to pick the kids up,” Chase snaps. “I’ll see you around, Henrik. Sorry I can’t stay long.” He briskly runs off.

Schneeplestein yells and kicks the bench. “FUCK! FUCK! AAAHHH!!!”

Other park visitors turn in confusion, watching the strange man kick the bench and scream.

Schneep freezes when he notices everyone staring at him. He storms back to his car, slams the door shut and continues his screaming.

Once Schneep has finished “releasing his anger” (Jackie’s words, not his) he “reflects on the situation” (also Jackie’s words). What could he do to make Chase feel better?

He stays in the car for an hour, letting the world pass by as he thinks. By the time the sun has set, he has an idea.

Jackie and Marvin glare at each other from across the hall. Sirius the cat has hidden, choosing not to get involved. The little pegs in the cribbage board are neck-in-neck, both pegs exactly 4 steps away from the end hole. The egos stare at their cards.

“Four,” Jackie announces, putting the card down.

“Fourteen,” Marvin says.

The door flies open and Schneep rushes in, hair windswept and out of breath. “Where’s Jack?!” he demands.

“Out in his universe,” Jackie responds. “Fifteen for two!” He puts down an ace.

“Sixteen for two!” Marvin slams the ace down, looking triumphant. Jackie flips him off.

“When will he visit?!” Schneep questions.

“When he wishes,” Jackie responds. “Twenty-five!”

“How can I contact him?!”

“Why are you so interested?!” Marvin asks. “Thirty-one, bitch!” He flips Jackie off.

“I have a request for him!” Schneep responds curtly. 

“What kind?” Jackie asks.

“It’s for a friend,” Schneep brushes him off, heading to his lab.

“Chase Brody?” Marvin guesses. Jackie kicks him.

Schneep turns around. “What did you say?”

Marvin gulps. “You left your letter on the table for me to read. I was fast enough to catch the gist before you snatched it up. So how is Chase Brody?”

Schneep growls softly and walks back to the table. Marvin sits up with his head held high, bracing himself for the punishment. No matter what Schneep does, slugging, kicking, ruining his hair, the magician can take it.  He’s been through worse.

To Marvin and Jackie’s surprise, Schneep pulls up a chair and sits down. The doctor takes a deep breath. “Chase Brody is divorcing his wife. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Jackie and Marvin nod in understanding. “That’s sad to hear,” Jackie remarks, solemnly.

“But how’s talking to Jack going to help?” Marvin queries.

“I want him to make a video for Chase,” Schneep says. “If this so-called community exists, I want to see them show their love for Chase! It’s the least he deserves!”

Marvin and Jackie catch each other’s gaze. Schneep glares at Jackie expectantly.

“Well? You’ve lived with Jack the longest. How do you contact him?!” Schneep demands.

“I have his number in case of emergencies, but I’ve never had a reason to call him! I don’t even know if he’s available,” Jackie explains.

“He has to be.  What else does a man who plays video games for a living do?!” Schneep snaps, incredulous. “It’s not like he has to be places or anything!” He looms over Jackie, a desperate, pleading look in his eyes. Jackie nearly topples out of his chair.

“I guess I could give it a shot,” the superhero mumbles.

Schneep squeals in delight and wraps his arms tightly around Jackie in what Jackie assumes to be a hug. The superhero pats the doctor’s arms, taken aback by his strength.

After a few sickeningly sweet seconds, Marvin pipes up, “Uh, doc? I think Jackie needs to be able to breathe in order to call Jack.”

Sheepishly, Schneeplestein lets Jackie go. The superhero gulps in big gasps of air, before grabbing his phone and dialing Jack’s number.

A day later, Jack McLoughlin sits at the egos’ dining room table, chomping away on mashed potatoes and a juicy steak.

“My goodness, you never told me what a good chef you were, Schneep!” he sighs in ecstasy.

Schneep bows his head, face glowing red. Jackie raises an eyebrow. Schneep almost NEVER blushes when given a compliment. It’s strange to see the doctor act so shy and humble around someone, especially Jack. It feels like only yesterday Schneep was bombarding Jack with questions about where he came from and how the alternate universe worked. Since that day, Jack has quickly risen to become one of Schneep’s favourite people on the planet. Not that Jackie is jealous or anything…

“Just a little recipe I learned for my wife…” Schneep mutters, playing with the end of his lab coat. Across the table, Marvin snickers lightly, watching the doctor fumble for words. Finally, some entertainment!

“So, what was the call for?” Jack asks. “Just wanted to say hi?” His expression darkens. “Is it Anti? What did he do?!”

“It’s not Anti.  We haven’t heard from him for a while!” Jackie says. Jack sighs in relief.

“I mean, I know I made that video for PAX and all but I just wanted to make sure,” Jack says.

“You made an Anti video for PAX?!” Marvin cries. “Why?”

“Because the fans would enjoy it! Also because I was running out of ideas for what to do for an opening,” Jack admits. “It just seemed like the right amount of fun and originality without being too over the top!”

“When is Anti not over the top?” Jackie scoffs. That earns a laugh from the others.

“Actually, it’s Schneep who has a question for you,” Marvin says.

Jack turns to Schneeplestein. Schneep’s smile disappears. He looks around the table, watching everyone’s gaze. He grins nervously at Jack.

“Could I ask you in private? This stuff… it is… personal.”

“Sure. Let’s go,” Jack says, standing up. Schneep follows after him.

In the upstairs hallway, Schneep spills everything. He explains who Chase is, what’s going on in his life, and how he believes making Chase an ego could help his situation.

“Make another ego? Oh god, I’m having enough trouble managing you all right now,” Jack admits.

“All you have to do is make one video. The fans can do the rest,” Schneep presses.

“How?”

“By showing their love for Chase! He’s a funny and sweet guy! Your fans would love him!”

“How will the community’s love help a man struggling with a divorce?” Jack questions.

“Their love will lift his spirits and he will feel more confident and happy! You said you noticed a difference in us after the community made content of us! If that is really true, then I want to see them show their love for Chase. It’s the least he deserves!”

Jack is silent, contemplating the pros and cons. Finally, he sighs and says, “Can you show me what he usually does?”

Schneep types something into his phone. He logs onto Youtube and types a channel name into the search bar. Bro Average.

“Bro Average? Is that a parody of Dude Perfect?” Jack asks, chuckling.

“Well, it’s because there’s only one person performing every stunt, and because it’s less... professional than the other channel,” Schneep explains. “For example-”

The video shows Chase at a park, holding a Nerf gun and wearing a goofy grin. “Sup, guys! I’m Chase, and welcome to Bro Average!” He shoots a nerf dart off-screen, only for it to crash into something, invoking a cat screech. Chase pretends to be startled.

It flashes forward to Chase in a tree. “This one’s called, ‘Multitasking’!” He hangs off a branch while trying to knock over six cups stacked up on each other with darts. Jack can’t stop snickering at Chase’s antics, as he wobbles and threatens to lose his balance. Chase yelps and squeals, and a few times, swearing can be heard, though it’s censored by loud beeps. Finally, Chase hits his target, just as the branch snaps. Chase whoops with glee as he crashes onto the ground, the branch smacking into his head. His cameraman runs over to him, worried, but Chase is rolling on the ground in laughter as tears run down his face.

“He is not nearly as good as the professionals, but his humour and authenticness bring in the fans,” Schneep says, smiling.

“He sounds like a blast!” Jack takes the phone and begins to skim through Chase’s videos. “I bet I could make something work! I’ll borrow an office space, bring a couple friends and film a few shots! Can’t be that hard!”

“So you will do it?!” Schneep cries.

“Absolutely! Give me a couple days and it will be ready!”

Schneep cheers and engulfs Jack in a bear hug. Jack laughs and pats his friend’s back. It’s nice to see the doctor open up at last to his new roommates and creator, and so quickly, as well. Jack decides Schneep can be rewarded for his good nature by granting his wish and helping out a new friend.

A few weeks pass. Schneeplestein schedules more visits with Chase. The two fathers laugh and chat, learning more about each other and discussing whatever they please without the worry of kids hearing. Schneep feels his spirits lift whenever he sees Chase’s snapback and hears his cheerful voice.

In the night, a familiar sensation returns to the egos’ dreams. Sounds of a Nerf gun, kids laughing and on the rare occasion, a man crying fills the egos’ heads as they sleep. Schneep feels his heart break when he hears Chase’s cries. He hopes this video will help Chase. It has to.

April 11th, 2017. The egos are gathered around the dining room table, Jack’s Youtube account open on his laptop. 

Jack idly sits at the centre, waiting for Schneep to arrive with Chase. Marvin and Jackie play another round of cribbage, and this time Jackie seems to be way ahead on the board, much to the magician’s dismay.

“I’m going to be skunked! I hate this game so fucking much!” Marvin gripes, as he receives two points for his math efforts.

Jackie snickers as he counts his cards. “This takes both luck and skill. You’re a fast learner, Marv.  I’m sure you’ll pull through soon.”

“Not soon enough,” grumbles Marvin as Jackie moves his peg 16 points.

The door opens and Schneep walks in with Chase Brody right behind him. Compared to the laughing man with the warm aura in Google Images, this Chase looks cold and kind of grumpy.

“Chase, this is Jack McLoughlin, our ‘creator’ and a wonderful man,” Schneep introduces. Jack awkwardly holds his hand out for a shake. Even though he’s seen versions of himself several times this past year, it’s still rather unnerving to be given death stares by himself but with yellow hair, snapback and a fair share of freckles.

“Jack, this is Chase Brody, your newest ego and the face of Bro Average!” Schneep continues. Chase raises an eyebrow.

“Ego? Like alter ego?” Chase turns to the others, and realizes that they share the same hair and face. “Oh... my... dog. Am I a fictional character?! Is this a character intervention with the narrator?! Whatever happened, I promise, I didn’t do it! Sally encouraged me to eat the worm!” Chase kneels before Jack, cowering and whimpering.

Jack chuckles nervously. “Relax, Chase! Technically, you are a fictional character-” Chase shrieks in alarm.

“But only in another universe. You’re very much a real person in this one,” Schneep concludes, helping Chase up by the arm. Chase shakes the doctor off and Schneep tries his best to hide his hurt.

“To put it simply, some of the videos on my channel don’t exist in this universe. This is because they’re about you… egos,” Jack recites. “You’re the most recent ego, however, your video and beginnings are a bit different because I already had some course material to go off of.”

Jack clicks play on the video. Chase sits down and gasps as Jack-as-Chase flies around the office, performing trickshots and screaming like a toddler who drank too much apple juice. Is… is this him?! The accuracy! Holy shit! They even got his bloopers right! Creepy!!! Is he being stalked?!

Schneep watches from afar, fidgeting with his lab coat. Chase hasn’t moved once since the video started. He doesn’t look angry… but at the same time, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his Power Hour. Truth be told, it’s not like the Doctor particularly likes his Power Hour either. Jack didn’t have to go and mention his cheating wife… or the fact that Peter did die at one point… Nonetheless, Chase is just sitting there, with wide eyes.

Jack, on the other hand, is already regretting what he did. Perhaps he emphasized too much on the “Not-As-Professional-Or-Successful” part. Maybe he made Chase too goofy or not as three-dimensional as he could have. The Youtuber catches a glimpse of the screen. Oh no. It’s the part with-

“Stacy, please, I know, I’m trying to get all the shots, look, just please don’t take the kids!” Jack-as-Chase pleads. Schneep and Jack-in-the-flesh turn white as a ghost. Chase frowns.

“This one’s called, ‘I’m Staying At My Sister’s This Weekend’!” Jack-as-Chase announces. It flashes back to him on the phone. “Well, I don’t care what your sister says! Just please! At least let me see them on the weekend still!”

Jack scratched his neck nervously and teethed on his knuckles, face beet red. Chase looks horrified. Schneep looks just as worried. Marvin and Jackie awkwardly stand up to leave.

Chase pauses the video just as Jack-as-Chase sobs. He takes a deep breath and turns to face his “creator”. “So… are you the reason my wife and I are getting a divorce?”

Jack gapes, taken aback by Chase’s accusation. He doesn’t want to throw Schneep under the bus, but at the same time, Chase wasn’t exactly “created” like the others-

“Not exactly!” Schneep interferes. “It… it was my idea. I thought if I got Jack to make a tribute video in honour of you, it would help you!”

“Help me?!” Chase laughs, a harsh and cold sound compared to his whoops and chuckles in his videos. “How?! By running my wife’s name through the dirt?!” Jack flinches.

“Fair enough,” Schneep says with a groan. “I should have been more specific when I said divorce and kids.”

“You told-?!”

“I thought if you knew you had a big name on your side you’d feel better! It was supposed to be a little treat!” Schneep counters.

“Oh, what am I, a little pity party to you?” Chase snaps. “My divorce was private information, Schneep.  Why else did you think I wanted to talk to you alone?! Now the whole world knows and Stacy’s going to be treated horribly because of you shits-”

“Not the whole world!” Schneep exclaims. “Just… all… of Jack’s world.”

“Shut up,” Chase hisses. “I don’t care that there’s more than one universe. So be it. What I care about is the fact that you betrayed my trust and now people are going to treat Stacy like she was a freaking bitch. This may come as a surprise to both you and Jack, but not all women are cheating whores like Lisette, asshole!”

SMACK. Chase cries out. The egos and Jack huddle together. Schneep’s breathing slows as he registers the sting in his hand and Chase rubbing his red cheek.

Schneep takes a deep breath, and in chilling, low, icy words, he snarls, “Don’t ever say her name again.”

Chase recovers from the slap and storms over to the door. “Whatever. You know what?! Stay away from me and whatever’s left of my family. I don’t care if I’m a part of your ‘creator’s’ story or whatever, I JUST WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.” Chase grabs his coat and slams the door shut with a loud BANG. Schneep remains at the dining room, breathing unsteadily, vision somewhat blurry.

“Doctor? Are you alright?” Jackie whispers, reaching a hand out.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Schneep runs upstairs to his room and slams the door. Muffled sobs soon echo down the hallway.

Jack’s heart breaks in two. He really thought this video was a good idea. Somehow, all it brought was pain. He sighs defeatedly and slumps down at the table. Marvin closes the laptop.

“Shit… that was awful…”

“And it was supposed to be Chase’s birthday present!” Jack moans. “Ahhhhh, I feel like an asshole… I shouldn’t have been so mean…”

“It’s not your fault…” Jackie soothes. “You made an assumption and played it with satire. Schneep shares some of the blame as well. He should have kept that part quiet.”

“And I should have kept that out of the video…” Jack sighs. “Now Chase feels even worse about the divorce and he wants nothing to do with us…”

Jackie and Marvin sit down beside Jack and rub his back. Jack sighs again and rests his head on the table.

Upstairs, Schneep screams into his pillow, tears finally flowing. He hates himself and Chase and everything that’s happened. That’s what he gets for helping a friend. Ungrateful bastard-

No. Schneep should have known better! That was private information, he had no right poking his nose in and telling everyone. Well, it was just one person, but still! Now Chase never wants to speak to him again and he’s lost the only friend he’s had in a while and everything sucks and he just wants to curl up and die. Schneep pulls his hair and screams again. He can’t sleep, but at the same time, he can’t do anything else. So he remains in bed, crying and thinking. Eventually, long into the night, he falls asleep, cheeks wet and eyes sore.

Schneep wakes up feeling like absolute shit. His cheeks are somewhat sticky and damp. He must have been crying in his sleep. His stomach feels awful. But it’s a work day, so he gets out of bed.

Schneep stumbles into his ensuite bathroom and splashes cold water on his face. He shudders when he sees his reflection. Grey skin, messy hair, red eyes. He doesn’t smell so good either. Sighing sadly, Schneep throws off his clothes and turns on the shower faucet.

When he hops out of the shower, he puts on his scrubs and grabs his spare labcoat. He trudges downstairs, where Marvin is waiting with fluffy chocolate-chip pancakes on the table.

“Morning, doc,” Marvin greets cheerfully. His smile fades when he sees Schneep’s ashen face. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” Schneep replies hoarsely.

“I made you some coffee,” Marvin continues. “I know you like it.”

Schneep grunts softly and pours himself a large cup. As he drinks he heads to the hook of keys by the front door, only to find-

“Where are my keys?” Schneep asks, staring at the space where his car keys used to hang.

“I saw Sirius knock them off earlier,” Marvin replies, flipping through the nearest magazine. “I tried to catch her, but she’s so fast.”

“Where is she right now?” Schneep inquires, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Beats me. I can’t control her,” Marvin says calmly.

Schneep growls and pounds on the table. Marvin jumps slightly, but quickly recovers and goes back to his reading.

“This isn’t funny, Marvin.  I need to get to work!” Schneep snaps. “I’m already falling behind schedule.”

Marvin snorts, looking up from the magazine. “You think you’re fit to go to work? Your face is bright pink, you’ve got large shadows under your eyes and I heard you crying for who knows how many hours last night.”

“I have allergies! They were just acting up!” Schneep snaps.

“Oh, really? Allergies? That’s rich coming from the man who claims to have ‘the strongest immune system in the world’!” Marvin scoffs.

“Even the strongest immune systems have off days, okay?!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Henrik, are you even hearing yourself?!”

Schneep fights back more tears. “Marvin, please, tell me where the keys are! I can’t be late for work!”

“And you won’t be! I called the hospital and asked them to give you a day off!” Marvin says.

Schneep almost drops his mug. “You… you did what?!”

“I told them it was a family emergency,” Marvin admits. “And that we didn’t know how long it would be. They understood, told me to tell you to take as many days off as you need.”

“Which is none,” Schneep scowls. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am!”

“Henrik, you said you didn’t want Chase to go through his divorce alone and friendless, like you. You’re going through a tough time right now.  The last thing you need is to be alone.”

Schneep gapes at the magician, tears threatening to fall. Marvin stares back, heart thumping loudly. He prays he didn’t say the wrong thing. He hopes this works.

Maybe it’s because he didn't get enough sleep, or maybe it’s because he’s never had anyone be so concerned for his well-being that they screwed up his schedule, but Henrik finally lets his anguish go, and collapses, bawling like a little baby. Marvin gets down from his seat and wraps his arms around the doctor, soothing him and singing softly.

Jackie finally emerges from the bathroom, and joins the cuddle pile in the kitchen. As Henrik finally slumps completely into Marvin’s arms, he and the superhero high-five and move the sleeping doctor into the living room for a day of Netflix and cuddles.

Five days pass. Henrik sits at his desk, tapping his pen. In front of him is the start of a letter, with only the words “Dear Chase,” written on it.  He needs to apologize to Chase, but just doing it by text seems insensitive. So written letter it is! Now… where to start…

Dear Chase,

I’m sorry. What I did was wrong and there’s no way to excuse my behaviour. I really believed I was doing the right thing by telling Jack, but I should have known better than to air dirty laundry.

The doctor shakes his head and crumples up the page. He can do better than that. Now to start over-

His phone begins playing the familiar sound of a monitor beeping. He really needs to change his ringtone.  It’s too painful to hear after all the dead patients that came with it.

Henrik freezes when he notices the name. Chase. Why is he calling? Heart thumping and hands shaking, Henrik picks up the phone.

“Hello? Chase?”

“H-hi, d-doc…” Chase answers in a raspy whisper. The sound of sniffling is not lost on Henrik.

“Chase? Are you okay?”

“Not really…” Another sniffle. “But I will be… soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry for all the shit I said… It was wrong of me to bring up your own divorce… I-I shouldn’t have been so harsh…”

“No, Chase, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought up your divorce in the first place! I thought I was doing good by telling Jack, but he clearly misinterpreted it. I shouldn’t have mentioned it…”

“It’s alright… you were just trying to make me feel bet-better… I just overreacted… I overreact to eve-everything… I’m such a bay-baby.” Chase sounds like he’s holding back tears.

“No you’re not. You had every right to be mad… I’m sorry for slapping you. How’s your cheek?”

Schneep hears Chase chuckle softly. “It’s fine… It doesn’t hurt as much as other injuries…” The laugh turns into a sob.

“Other injuries?! What do you mean?!” Henrik demands. “Chase, you’re worrying me!”

“I’m sorry… I can’t seem to do anything right… All I do is upset people…” Chase is outright crying now.

“Chase, please tell me where you are,” Henrik pleads, getting up. “I need to make sure you’re okay!”

“No… I don’t think you’ll want to see this…” Chase mumbles. He takes a deep but shuddery breath. “I have to go. Goodbye, Henrik.”

“Chase?! CHASE?!” Henrik screams. The phone line goes dead. Henrik yelps and quickly rushes into his contacts. He finds Stacy’s name and calls her.

She answers on the first ring. “Henrik? It’s been so long! How are you?”

“Where is Chase right now?”

“What?”

“Where is he living?”

“What’s going on? What did he say to you? Is he okay?”

“Call 999. I don’t believe so.”

Henrik hangs up and dashes out of his office, up the stairs and to the front door, where he grabs his keys and coat. Marvin and Jackie sit at the kitchen island, both on their phones.

“Henrik? What’s going on?”

“I have to go to the hospital. I’ll be back,” Henrik answers curtly. He throws on his coat and leaves.

Henrik runs into the hospital and quickly signs himself in. A nurse comes by and squeaks in surprise when she sees him.

“Dr. Schneeplestein? What are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?”

“Time is broken, Cass,” Dr. Schneeplestein replies. He dashes off to the emergency room. Cass quickens her pace, trying her best to catch up to him.

“Have there been any emergencies yet?” Schneep demands.

“I think an ambulance is arriving soon-” Cass begins.

“Who’s the patient?” Schneep asks.

“A man attempted suicide-” Cass starts.

“I’ll treat him,” Schneep announces.

The doors open and medics rush in, driving a man on a gurney. Schneep pales when he sees red. The good doctor swallows his fear and tears. Now is not the time to be a baby. He’s not called the good doctor for nothing. Time to save Chase’s life.

Hours later, five nurses come in to find Dr. Schneeplestein exhaustedly sobbing against the wall, shoulders convulsing as he cries into his hands. On the gurney lies a man with yellow hair poking out of a large bandage wrapped around his head. The monitor beeps rhythmically, and the man’s chest rises and falls slowly. So why is the doctor crying?

Three nurses wheel Chase out while the other two bend down next to Schneep. One nurse, Kate, tentatively places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps in shock.

“Schneeplestein? Are you alright?” Kate asks.

Schneep smiles shakily. “He’ll live…” He shivers and whimpers. “Oh god… so much could have happened… So much could have gone wrong… I thought I lost him a few times...” the doctor breaks off with another sob.

“Why don’t you head home? Today is your day off,” Kate suggests.

“In a little while… I need to speak to the patient first…” Schneep replies in a raspy voice. Kate nods. She and the other nurse, Matt, help the doctor up. His legs wobble and almost give out. Schneep takes a deep breath and slowly  makes his way out of the operating room and into his office.

An hour later,  Henrik reappears, wearing his comfy labcoat and drinking some tea, a rarity considering how much the doctor prefers coffee. But he needs to relax, and so Matt whipped up a nice cup of tea.

Henrik pulls up a chair and sets his cup down. He looks down at the sleeping man, face as white as the bandage wrapped around his head. Chase has never looked more fragile and vulnerable. His cheeks are sunken and there are large bags under his eyes.

Henrik rubs his face. Truthfully, he’s just as tired. He looks up at the clock. 1:11 am. God, he was in the operating room for quite a while. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be as stressed as he was today. He leans back and closes his eyes. Maybe he can get a quick nap before-

“Dr. Schneeplestein?” He opens his eyes and looks up. His stomach flips when he notices a woman with red hair that falls in waves down her shoulders.  Her soft brown eyes are full of compassion and worry. Stacy Brody. Or Stacy Matthews, to be more precise.

“Stacy…” Henrik mumbles. “What… I mean, I’m sorry. I understand this must be a lot for you.”

“I can’t believe it… I mean, I knew about his depression, I just didn’t think it would get this bad,” Stacy says, voice soft and sad.

Henrik nods. “Yes. One can’t help but wonder what the breaking point was.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Stacy whispers hoarsely, staring down at her ex-husband’s skinny frame. “I did cheat on him. I told him I wanted a divorce after he found out… I wonder what would have happened if I told him straight up about Delilah… I wonder how he would have reacted…”

Henrik is speechless. He can’t really say it isn’t her fault, but at the same time, it wasn’t as if she could straight up tell him. There really was no way of telling how he would have reacted. Henrik groans and rubs his eyes again. He can’t think straight.

His mind flickers back to the video, and his stomach sinks. Did that video… influence his decision? Should he tell her about it? Would she be mad? He takes a deep breath.

“I mentioned your divorce to another friend,” he finally says. “Said friend made a video that I think mocked Chase more than flattered him. I thought it would help… but it didn’t. Only made him even more upset.”

“A video? Was this the video that ‘Jack’ made?” Stacy asks. Henrik opens his eyes, horrified. How long has she known?! Oh god, she must despise him! Henrik whirls around to face her, face riddled with guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d take it in that direction- It was a shitty idea, I was so invasive and it was absolutely despicable of me and-”

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay! It was an honest mistake!” Stacy responds calmly. “Chase told me about it. He felt awful and he was so pissed with you guys. I will admit I was a bit peeved at first, but Chase said he yelled at you and broke off his friendship with you, so I figured it was punishment enough.”

“He also brought up my wife,” Henrik says. “So I punched him.”

Stacy nods. “Ah, that’s where the bruise came from.”

Henrik cringes. Damn, did he actually hit Chase that hard? He really is a dick. He sighs and stands up. “You are more than welcome to punch me. I deserve it. I never should have brought up the divorce. It was hateful of me, really.”

Stacy shakes her head. “Oh no, I couldn’t! You saved Chase from the brink of death. It’d be so insensitive of me!”

“I insist.” Henrik holds his head up. Stacy reluctantly stands up, and raises an open palm.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaks.

“It’s fine, I can handle it,” Henrik says.

Stacy takes a deep breath… and punches him. Henrik falls back into the chair from the force. Stacy cringes.

“You… have a very strong punch,” Henrik remarks, holding his throbbing cheek. He holds a finger up when he sees her mouth move. “Don’t apologize. You were right to do so.”

“I took karate as a kid,” Stacy boasts. “I won a black belt at age five.”

“Good for you! To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as hard as my wife’s,” Henrik admits.

“Well, at least I got my ‘revenge’- wait, what?!” Stacy does a double take. “Lisette used to punch you?!”

“She only did it once,” Henrik quickly adds. “After I called her a whore.”

“Oh. That explains a lot,” Stacy deadpans.

“I deserved that as well,” Henrik says. “I just wish she hadn’t moved so far away… I wonder how the girls are doing...”

“Have your children contacted you?” Stacy lightly presses.

“I’ve tried to contact them,” Henrik says. “I don’t think Lisette lets them write or call me.”

“Then Lisette really is an ass,” Stacy explodes. “What if they do want to talk to you? She can’t hide them from you just because she doesn’t like you.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop her. I keep my phone nearby in case Sophia calls when her mother isn’t around.” Henrik pats his pocket. “Or maybe Rick will let her. He’s quite nice and he’s good with kids, which is why I was quite surprised when he turned out to be-”

“A homewrecker?” Stacy suggests. Henrik glares at her, scandalized, but she can tell he’s trying to suppress a smile.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, snickering.

“I was gonna say an ass, but that’s better,” he says. Stacy bursts out laughing, but it quickly fades when she notices Chase. She clears her throat.

“I’m going to take the kids away for a while,” she reveals. “At least until he’s emotionally stable to look after the kids.”

“You know Chase would never let his depression get in the way of being a good father,” Henrik protests.

“I know. I just feel he needs a break from it all,” Stacy says. “Mostly family life, me and Delilah in particular. Maybe she and I could go to my cottage in Scotland. We can stay there until he feels ready to share custody once more. He can’t be alone, though. We know what will happen if he does. He can’t go back home either. We still need to wash out the blood and dispose of any guns he might have. Of course I mean the real guns, but he might not want his Nerf toys either. He needs to be with someone , and that can’t be me. I just don’t know anyone he could stay with who lives in Athlone. We only just moved here.”

Henrik lights up. Holy shit. It’s like destiny! This is the perfect opportunity! “He can move in with us. He’s already an ego. He’d love it there. Sure it’s a bit chaotic, but I think he’d love it!”

Stacy raises an eyebrow. “What sort of chaotic?” she questions.

“The local superhero likes to crash there, we have a magician who INSISTS on using us for test subjects for his latest tricks, and me, the ‘feral doctor’,” Henrik lists off. “Come to think of it, I’m actually the voice of reason.”

Stacy tries her best to hide a shudder. “I feel a little worried about his safety. And no offense, but it’s a bit concerning that you’re the voice of reason in that house.”

Henrik scoffs in mock insult and shoves her gently. “Oh screw you! To be honest, Jackie is actually the smart one. I’m the one who pays the taxes and keeps a roof over their head. They’re the ones who overstayed their visit.”

Stacy rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. She looks more relaxed than when she walked in. She stands up.

“I think it’s time I left. Good luck, Chase. I wish you all the best with your recovery.” Stacy leans over and gently kisses Chase’s cheek before turning to Henrik and holding her hand out. Henrik returns it and gives it a small squeeze, only to be pulled in for a hug. He gasps in surprise.

“Thank you Henrik,” she whispers. Henrik nods and returns the hug, holding her tightly until she signals to let go. Stacy picks up her bag and leaves.

Henrik sits back down and takes out his cellphone to call the egos. Jackie picks up after the first ring.

“Henrik? Are you okay?”

“I want you to clean the house and make some hot chocolate. We’ve got a new roommate coming to stay with us!” Henrik announces.

“Is it Chase? Is that who we’re taking in?” Jackie asks.

“Yes. I want everything to be perfect, so go! Get cleaning!” the doctor commands.

“Need us to pick you up?” Marvin suggests.

“I can drive just fine! See you soon!” Henrik hangs up just as Chase begins to stir. The doctor watches him apprehensively. He hasn’t seen Chase since the argument. How will he react?

Chase groggily opens his eyes. He can see a bright light shining down on him and closes his eyes. “Where… where am I?”

He slowly attempts to sit up. A soft pair of hands gently help him sit up and rub his back. 

Chase blinks, trying to clear his vision. The blurry blue shape slowly comes into view… Henrik! The good doctor sits beside him with an anxious expression on his face.

Chase wracks his memory to try to remember what had happened. He can feel a heavy fabric wrapped around his head. He lifts a hand to better investigate… oh.

Henrik’s heart breaks when he sees Chase drop his hand, expression forlorn. Here we go, he thinks.

“Chase?” Chase looks up. “Before you say anything, know that you have every right to be mad at me and Jack. What we did was despicable and absolutely awful. You don’t have to forgive us, and I completely understand if you never do. But you can’t be alone right now. You’re going through a really tough time, and the last thing you need to be is alone. I don’t know if you’ll accept it, but we have an extra room at home that would be a perfect spot for you to stay while you recover. I know you might not want to talk to me, but Jackie and Marvin are living with me, and they will ensure your time there will be as comfortable as possible. It’s fine if you don’t want to go, but just know that we will always be there when you need a place to stay.”

Chase is silent, simply gazing at Henrik with unshed tears. Finally, he throws his arms around Henrik’s neck. Henrik startles, but returns the hug.

“Is that a yes?” Henrik mumbles. Chase nods. Henrik sighs in relief and squeezes Chase tighter. Now all he has to do is hope Jackie and Marvin have the house ready by the time he returns.

Henrik parks the car in the driveway and turns to Chase. The vlogger fidgets with his t-shirt. Henrik puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Just warning you now, while Jackie and Marvin have good hearts and intentions, they can be little shits and there’s a good chance the house will still be a mess when we get back in. Good luck.”

Chase whimpers in fear. Henrik nods solemnly. “My thoughts exactly.”

The fathers unload the car and walk up to the front steps. Henrik takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“FIFTEEN FUCKING POINTS! I WIN AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” Jackie screeches. Marvin roars in anger and tosses a pillow at Jackie, who backhands it. The pillow soars across the house and slams into Henrik, who grunts in alarm and falls backward. Chase shrieks in alarm, gaping at his fallen friend.

Marvin and Jackie turn around, bright blue eyes glaring into Chase. Marvin’s eye twitches sporadically and Jackie smiles like a madman. Chase nervously waves. Marvin clears his throat and forces a sleep-deprived smile.

“Howdy, Chase!”

[hannah-oc-palace]

Whoms’t’ve (aka intro)

Mutanty Oleg - 21 foot slav who is oblivious- biggest fella Pyotr - edgy man who can see futures - scar mouth Aurik - too cautious and afraid - german in a bad place Shurik - loves guns knifes and eating everything - literal gremlin man Dimitri - psychic powered braincells - smart and gay Dima - four armed and understanding - Russian Pringle dad

Monstere Zach - superhero that can go gore - the thing is himbo Hollin/Background- is attracted to bastard parasite - venom is that you? Perry - mute and can manipulate periodic elements- angry chemist Gyrill - got one leg but will ride motorcycle to you - boogie woogie woogie Brody - Zach’s smart boyfriend - too kind for this

Life of The Infected Monika - can kill in a single touch - fungus child Alex - can’t die fully -a corpse boy Icee - ice powered zombie kid - cold baby Sōdō - a transfer who hates it here - two sets of teeth Bobon - just a cryptid here to vibe - trucker hat

Sewer Life Albi - young mouse -albino and afraid Ringo - Australian rat - not the drummer mate Bayou - crocodile who runs a gang - Chevrolet movie theater Ouro - snake lady -ssslut Gata - a black kitten who’s dad has ties to the gang - pretty dirty Beta - betta fish -assassin fish Oppa - opossum - tree hobo Gruber - red eared turtle - old and sick Fonidae - toad - the loving cook

Louisiana’s Worst Swamp Marsh - swamp creature that is true neutral - chickem Willow - lil sis who is hyperactive - grass hair

A Ship Named Canis Cameron - perky assistant-  so no legs? Viverr - trained fighter -false cat boy Deapodia - geologist digger bee - bee movie Piet - abstract being who changes form - too cool for reality Bravo - android genreal - robo dad Etor - shark boy/girl who is talking a lot - glass shark Löward - the medic is filled with bromine and love - he’s you're bro(mine) Fabaria - calm until not -nerd plant Visin - psychic mechanic - eyes

Dork-asaurus Marc - brontosaurus who’s had enough bs - tired and French Opal - sweet mosasaurus - proper lady Roger - rude ass pterodactyl - piss rights

False Myths Xaoc - god of chaos, death and the sun - kill and murder Nadzor - god of order, life and the moon - business official Sherman - just a teen vampire - pastel vamp Tsyalo - god of neutrality and maybe weed - seedling emoji

Branded With Magic Sunglasses Lady Shades - brash and arrogant warrior - red tat Lord Shades - engineer who is kinda dumb - yellow tat Little Shades - vibrant fashion designer - blue tat Commerce - an ai that said bastardly deeds time - Static chatter Perfect Shades - resident hot bad guy - fake tat

Defenders of Nothing Oliver - Paladin who is trying his best -nervous but chaotic Adira - Ranger girls who say bruh - woodland child Mendax - demon of lies - fire pants

The Many Cases of Doodleopolis Detective Doodle (Marcel) - The detective around here - coffee addict Marco - Marcel’s brother - asshole on main Miss Jubilee - Marcel’s coworker -berry nice Molly - ghost working at a cafe - waitress under stress Dr Ottipu - doctor that is an octopus - stethoscope in water

Welcome to Louksen Marmy - a sweet antler baby - just a boy Fay - quiet and listening always - blind poet Dooper - dog snake who cannot talk - pubby Gora Fiddle - works with her mom- hardly working Samson - neighborhood old cook - cranky candy cane Kyle - a radical god -surfs up mortals Sean LeFuef - in places he shouldn’t be - abandoned

The Deadly 7 Ryan - rager - guitar Creed - mr crabs but subtle - producer Anthony - eats their feelings - tech Solone - bored of everything - drums V- punk girl gets envious of everyone- keyboard Paul - has five mirrors -bass Lucy - she kisses and tells - lead vocalist

OOC - Me the girl who said this was a good idea - boo boo the fool

[infinityasph]

some of my favorite quotes from ‘malibu rescue (movie)’ out of context.

“there’s nothing kids enjoy more on the last day of school than a clean campus.”

“sasha, stop speaking for me.”

“dad loves mountable, collectible memory.”

“yes roger. a summer at the beach is exactly what i deserve.”

“vooch, don’t make it weird.”

“wait, no, wish me a water emergency. something with sharks.”

“are you choking?” (gina burps)

(the ‘cake by the ocean’ song playing over a bus ride)

“whatever it is, bro, it’s not from malibu.”

“i’m gonna--eh, you don’t care what i’m gonna do.”

“rode... bike... from... valley... i’m... eric.”

“am i dead?”

“beach rats.”

“right now we’re just fish turds.”

“we’re from the valley.”

“didn’t put on deodorant this morning because we’re gonna get in the water anyways!”

“get these sea slugs out of my sight.”

“this is so hardcore. (laughs)”

“it’s only a half-mile.”

“put your back into it, valley.”

“if anyone gets stung by a jellyfish, i call peeing on the sting!”

“i’m in pain.”

“malibu represent!”

“do you want to get some froyo?” “you should leave.”

“MOM HACK!”

“taco every other tuesday.”

“where’s that tortilla receipt?”

“you want to get kicked out of an omelet, sometimes you have to bite a few eggs.”

“shark farts.”

“bro. dee. brody.”

“what am i preparing you for?”

“i’ve got a belt i can make into a tourniquet.”

“you’ve got to stop saying things under your breath. it’s super confusing,”

“are you trying to get kicked out?” “thought that was obvious.”

“JEFFEY!”

(the butt-lookin’ thing cross was shining)

“we lost a good one.” “he’s not dead.”

“a gift from poseidon himself.”

“we’ll do some endurance training.”

“i’ll go get my notecards.”

“i’ll go get help.” “we are the help.” “yeah we are.”

“i’ve been waiting for someone’s life to be in danger since i got here.”

“the light is not your friend.”

“relax, i can fix it. just give me twenty minutes. (smoke poofs) thirty minutes.”

“i came here to make friends. also because my dad says the couch is starting to dent and it looks like my butt.”

“i could drop a cinder block on your knee!”

“be sure to close up the pee-pee hole or you’ll lose all your change.”

“eric’s... really supportive.”

“not without the key, smart guy.”

“this isn’t gonna end well.”

“flounder’s gonna go up in flames. and the mayor will be here to see it happen.”

“were’d this trash come from?” “i put it out. wouldn’t want you to get bored.”

“that’s eric business. you don’t need to know.”

“not true! tyler’s got great arm’s!”

“you have a real future in the custodial arts.”

“also because you’re a hot mess.”

“santa monica.” “yes.” “santa monica” “yes.” “san-ha. mon-hi-ca.”

“vooch found a loophole.”

“just meeting the mayor.”

“actually, you kicked me out for something that happened in santa monica. that’s out of your jurisdiction.”

“let me just find my cards.”

“let’s murder him! ... in the race.”

“i was in junior high.”

“you can’t be the team screw up.” “why not?” “because that’s my job.”

“first aid challenge is mine.”

“you better not drop me.”

“dogish are falling behind.”

“want to borrow my notecards?”

“eriC.”

“and the flounders are up.”

“it’s jeffey!”

“i’m in a booooooat.”

“let’s go gina!”

“are you barking?” “you’re darn right i am.”

“i put a crab in his shorts.”

“he’s not a troublemaker. he’s a hero.”

“they saved jeffey.”

“jeffey, get your finger out of your nose.”

“they rescued at junior at malibu beach. it checks all my boxes.”

“(meek) okay.”

“i can’t believe it’s ours.”

“not bad for a bunch of fish turds from the valley.”

“you guys thinkin’ what i’m thinkin’? (slow-mo running)”

[maznanangy]

Characters i think are underrated (imo a lot of characters could fit here: wendy, skyler, sprinks the clown (CLOWN), connor, ember, franco, kahuna, indigo, pinch and skip (Bro he legit has a rat). I think so many characters are underrated - amii

Bro Skip has a rat he's a neat and yeah you're right a lot of characters are underrated😔

Okay here's my list: Connor (this one HURTS me), Bertha, Georgito, Julep, Brody, Greg, Yippy, Evelyn, Crystal and Mayor Mallow. Johnny is in the same place with Wylan B he's in thin ice tho ig he's more overrated

[marblepony]

in big bro trouble

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[cuttthroatbitch408-blog]

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The Race

MemoTheMafioso

 1

THE RACE LYRICS

How you hating on these hoes, but you play the role?

I be in my own lane, so I pave the road

Everytime I step out, I pray I make it home

Cuz in this life that i chose, you gotta pay the toll

How you knowing he a sucka but you call him bro?

And how you claim to be a gangsta, but don’t stick to code?

Everybody say they solid, but I know they’d fold

I heard em say they want smoke, but I kno they dont

On me

My brothers press all lines

And I’ll die for my respect, bitch I need all mines

I could never let em take me, so we strapped all times

We coming right up off the hip if he trip off mines

You ain’t never been through it, stop telling them lies

I ain't ever broke code, never switching on mines

The real recognize real, but I see bitch in his eyes

Who the fuck you think you foolin? You a bitch in disguise

Thats on tha guys

Claimin that you one, but I doubt that

If they attempted on my life, would you bounce back?

And if they dissin, is you swinging where they mouth at?

Stop playing, stop lying, you ain bout that

You ain’t really ten toes, boy you all cap

Killa California get em stripped for that ball cap

I heard they telling on they homies bro that’s all bad

Fuck rats, watch them fold to the mouse traps

I swear this money got me turning to a madman

A bitch can’t relieve my stress but her cash can

Who talking wet? we could leave em in a trash can

1 phone call brodie turning shit to Afghan

I heard em try n jock me but I don’t give a fuck

Why the main people hating try to copy us?

I see those same people hating in my audience 

This shits funny to be honest, it don’t bother us

I feel like even when I’m up, still its not enough

Born broke die broke, that could not be us

Praise the muthafuckin real, it’s so obvious

We heading straight to tha top, ain't no stoppin us

They popping for the gram, but they never poppin up?

Big blammers, cuz i know they scared to lock it up

Men Of Business, we tha muthafuckin mafia

I’m slick with it, so they never ever caught me up

I hope that everything I say make you Suckas mad

I hope it make your blood boil when i get a bag

I hope yo shit crash n burn, while I’m whipping past

I hope you watch me take first, while you still in last

I hope that everything I say make you Suckas mad

I hope it make your blood boil when i get a bag

I hope yo shit crash n burn, while I’m whipping past

I hope you watch me take first, while you still in last

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (2-28-2020)

Friday Night Pyro February 28th, 2020 New Orleans, Louisiana UNO Lakefront Arena

Opening Segment: Golden Bryce enters the arena to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Half boo/Half cheer; Bryce then enters the middle of the ring and awaiting him is Pyro Interviewer James Westerbeck. James asks Bryce “Well Bryce it seems like the XPWEW audience is a bit split on you winning the world heavyweight championship last Sunday night at Flirting With Disaster over the All Man” <<crowd boos hard>> Bryce: “......James everyone in NOLA tonight paid hard earned money to buy a ticket and cheer or boo whoever they want, And the people of New Orleans have spoken and I think they are upset. Listen I’m upset too, but All Man had a chance and he fought his heart out though so let’s give him a round of applause y’all “NOLA! STAND UP!” <crowd somewhat claps for All Man> Bryce: All Man left it ALL in the ring and gave me one of the best matches of my career that I dedicated to a young man named Zayden who’s watching LIVE from Little Rock tonight. We’re pulling for you Zayden! But James, The reason I have you here is because I like your style and I like your voice I like your whole demeanor and presentation and I know you could do this justice. (Holds up title) This title is what I’ve been chasing for 9 months now and after winning it the other night I have the confidence to defend it and by defending it I thought i would put my own drip on it. So Nola you are the exclusive audience right now. This is the NEW XPWEW World Heavyweight Championship Bryce pulls black curtain off of podium The new title is revealed | Gold Strap, Oval big plate and 3 small oval side plates. 12 millennium star diamonds circle the oval making the title a net worth price of 120K Bryce: This marks a day in my career and to my supporters I thank you and I love you and I will always fight for you. To the people that boo me and boo my actions and my character when i know deep down I’m doing the right thing, I will pray for you, I will still care for your well being and I hope you find happiness. I am the champ and I am the man. Get it. Got it. Good <music hits> <Bryce exits ring triumphantly>

Plagueground enters

Kotto Brazil, Myron Reed, Siaka, Chrissy Rivera & Jordan Oliver enter and cut a promo on how Plagueground need to go back to there Neckbeard Nests before they think they are better than THE SET

M1: Myron Reed w/ The Set defeat Brodie Croyle w/ Joe Gacy

PROMO: 86 days until Lockdown 7

PROMO: PYRO on VICE promo with Action Bronson & Golden Bryce

In ring segment: Garrett Thompson with tag partner fellow Brit Ethan Bedlam; talks about how next week Friday Night Pyro will be in London England! His home country and he looks at the current standings is 4-3 in the ring and why is he being overlooked in the xpwew world title picture; Alveno La Flare comes down and says well I’m undefeated. I’m 2-0 why am I not in the conversation Ethan Bedlam speaks up “oh that’s bollocks! Well come on down and see who is bettah.”

Backstage: All Man holding an ice pack on the back of his neck, Tenille Dashwood says “You gave it your ALL the other night” All Man responds: “Did I? Sure. I guess. I knew that getting to the top was hard but I learned staying on top was harder, but I don’t care if it’s Golden Bryce, Champagne Clausen or God himself I. WILL. Be World Heavyweight Champion again....

M2: Garrett Thompson defeats Alveno La Flare [thus ending his undefeated streak]

Backstage: <Gorilla Position> Alveno comes back from the curtain and runs into Jacques Dudley who says man don’t pay attention to the stats and the standings go out there and give your best and if you keep doing that the win will come <enters Jordan Oliver “Jacques that’s loser talk you know that right, I mean to think man you were once unbeaten for 89 matches and now you are a shell of your former self I mean meanwhile I’m undefeated I can’t relate. Jacques well why don’t I challenge you ...for that title next week Jordan: ahhh oh you’re serious. Bro you don’t get title shots for losing records. <looks at Alveno> and that applies for you too Bum! Aha Jordan: How bout next week I’ll tag with my boy here Kotto Brazil and you two Bozos can tag and we’ll see who wins. Alveno: You got it bitch Oliver: Man fuck you huh bums <Jacques and Alveno look at each other in approval>

In ring segment: Kiera Hogan puts the women’s locker room on notice and says she’s not afraid of anyone in the Locker room; she then joins commentary

M3: Genevalisse defeat Audrey Carbine

Kiera: Genevalisse! Pa-lease what is that her first win ever lol <Lotus enters> Lotus in ring; At flirting with Disaster my dad challenged me to a shot at his title but I’d rather go after yours first Kiera: You need to stick to being the social justice warrior, ain’t no problematic stuff about me. I’m the first ever gay xpwew champion. I’m a role model. You are just a face painted freak Lotus: <Lotus grabs Kiera and attempts to put her in the helm sharpshooter> <<Slayer and Rosemary come down and hold Lotus down>> Rosemary: Why would you hurt a member of the larva, Mother doesn’t like to be disturrrrrrrbbbbed Slayer: <looks at Lotus> if you wanna fit in your gonna have to learn your place first <<Lotus in ring collecting herself>> <<<Kiera waves by ironically>>>

PROMO: Dragon Kid didn’t reveal his mask at Flirting With Disaster despite his loss to McGraw Interview: James Westerbeck with Dragon Kid and the importance of the mask. Dragon Kid has challenged McGraw to a flag match

[[However: Twitter would translate that Leonard has challenged Dragon Kid to a patriotic showdown at Blitzkrieg: Flag Match???? Japan vs USA in the UK?]]

1 on 1 M4: Leonard McGraw defeats GG

After the match: I don’t give a rat’s ass about England. As a matter of fact I think it’s one of the worst damn countries on this old dirtball. And I might not have much to say on Japan cause I’ll be honest I don’t respect them, I hate samurai culture, The food sucks, But I’ll say this nothing beats that Cajun Food that they got down here in New Orleans baby But first things first Dragon Kid with your STUPID mask and your STUPID name. Everything about you I can’t stand boy and I’m challenging you to a flag match. USA verse Japan in the UK you gotta grab the flag what kind of horse shit is that, well I’ll say this. I’ll accept the match but that doesn’t mean I won’t knock your teeth down your damn throat while doing it. <<<<Ryu remains wholesome during that intense sweaty promo from McGraw>>>>

Pre-Recorded Segment: Champagne Clausen backstage segment where he sends off Troy Clausen to a old timer’s home and has a bit of funny banter with the employee. Employee: Name: C: Troy Employee: Last Name? C: Are you serio..Troy. Troy Clausen. Xpw Employee: I have no idea I don’t watch football C: Hes pretty well know Employee: I have no idea C: Whatever it doesn’t matter Employee: Is he asleep C: He takes naps, Long long naps. But he’ll probably wake up soon and let him know that it is the year 2038. Tell him that his daughter was perished in a car accident on lol television and that he’s been in the care of Lenny from Mice and Men for the last 4 and a half months Employee: And do I tell him about you C: Yknow what. Tell him that his son is the xpwew world heavyweight champion and did it all without his help. <<<<walks away>>>>

Dragon Kid enters

Golden Bryce enters

Main Event 1 on 1 M5: Golden Bryce def. Dragon Kid

<During the match All Man and All Woman come down and join commentary; All Woman speaks a lot but All Man is watching the match very closely> After the match: General Manager Romeo Roselli comes down with Champagne Clausen almost hassling him at his side announces. Well as Champagne has informed me: He can now challenge for the world title since All Man is no longer the champion but gentlemen I’m going to tell you like this. On March 29th, 2020 From Manchester England. Golden Bryce will defend the xpwew world title in a 3 way dance against Champagne Clausen and The All Man in the 1st ever.....BLITZKRIEG Match !

[Match rules appear on screen and Kaitlyn Khaos and Nick Simmonds break the match down on commentary] It’s a 3 way dance but you must successfully perform their finisher 3 times on any opponent to win, first to do so is the world champion. It’s Bryce vs Champagne vs All Man ie: It will be the battle of the finishers: 6 Rings vs The Chardonnay vs The Allman Joy

[actutrends]

When the FBI Thought a High Priest of Satan Was Trying to Kill Ted Kennedy

POLITICO illustration with pictures from Deanne Fitzmaurice/Polaris and AP

David Gambacorta is a writer-at-large at the Philadelphia Inquirer. He has likewise written for Esquire, Longreads, The Ringer, The Baffler and The Marshall Task.

The FBI and Secret Service representatives made their method through the streets of San Francisco’s foggy Richmond District area, about 2 miles from the Golden Gate Bridge, toward a narrow Victorian house that looked like it had tumbled out of the shadows of Alfred Hitchcock’s creativity. The structure rose 2 floors to a dramatically angled roof; nearly every inch of the exterior had been painted the color of midnight.

The firms had actually spent the lion’s share of 2 weeks in October 1980 pursuing a case that had all the ingredients of a prospective media firestorm, one that could stimulate the nation’s most traumatic political memories. Now– on Halloween– their digging had led investigators here, to 6114 California Street.

It was called the Black Home, and stories about what went on behind its walls had actually been the topic of curiosity and speculation for more than a decade. The representatives climbed up a brick staircase, and knocked on the jet-black front door.

They were soon satisfied by a bald, middle-aged man with a goatee: Anton Szandor LaVey. LaVey, the high priest of the Church of Satan, was once rumored to have actually played a mystical function in the death of a previous Hollywood star.

A day previously, Senator Ted Kennedy had left San Francisco after marketing for President Jimmy Carter, whose basic election showdown with Ronald Reagan was inching better. It had been a long, tumultuous year for Kennedy, who was then in his late 40 s. He ‘d attempted to wrest the Democratic governmental election from Carter; when that bid failed, Kennedy resorted to playing the role of a great celebration soldier, summoning the remnants of his household’s old Camelot magic as he crisscrossed the nation to win over citizens for Carter.

Running for president had also awakened a worry that Kennedy had attempted to conceal even from his closest confidants: that he would be assassinated, just like his bros, President John F. Kennedy and Sen. Robert F. Kennedy. Anonymous tormentors had been sending out Ted Kennedy handwritten dangers considering that the late 1960 s. “Teddy has to die,” promised a note that was when mailed to his dad. The death threats only increased when Kennedy was on the project path in1980

What Kennedy, Shrum and a handful of other staffers didn’t understand was that a person early morning that October, teletype machines had actually clattered to life in FBI field workplaces across the nation with a fresh transmission, seven pages’ worth of new intelligence information. The bottom of the first page consisted of a plain message: “SENATOR EDWARD KENNEDY– VICTIM, CONGRESSIONAL ASSASSINATION STATUTE.”

An informant had actually called the FBI workplace in downtown Chicago and described that a plot to murder Kennedy was being set in motion. It’s a story that has actually never been told until now, a bizarre piece of history that ended up being public only when I discovered records of the examination that the FBI silently released in June in The Vault, the bureau’s online FOIA library. The files described a plan that apparently involved cash, drugs and the mob. And according to the informant, the ringleader– the male who supposedly desired Ted Kennedy dead– was none besides Anton LaVey.

Fourteen years previously, in the spring of 1966, the nation was marked by discontent and experimentation. It was a perfect environment for provocateurs, a fact that was not lost on LaVey, then a 36- year-old showman who declared he ‘d worked in the past as an occult private investigator and a performer in a traveling circus.

That April, he invented a brand-new role for himself, shaving his head and forming the Church of Satan. LaVey arranged his church around a philosophy of self-indulgence and excess– aptly mirroring the times– but still experimented with devil worship motifs, vamping in a cape, and using a bulbous ring that he declared could give little children their dreams. His Jaguar even had an individualized license plate: SATAN9. “Individuals like to have a hell of a time, do not they?” LaVey asked during an interview around that time with Joe Pyne, a syndicated talk program host.

P.T. Barnum had a circus tent, and LaVey had the Black House, where he kept a pet lion and performed routines. LaVey’s stagecraft attracted the attention of some Hollywood players, like Sammy Davis Jr. and the actress Jayne Mansfield, who was reported to have had an affair with LaVey. In one, Mansfield playfully clutches a skull while LaVey fans his cape out beside her, and in another, she prepares to drink from a chalice that he cradles in his hand.

The decade that followed shown to be a duration of transition– for both LaVey and Kennedy. LaVey cut back on his public performances, and started composing books that cashed in on the popular culture fascination with films like Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist “He had ended what he called the ‘stuffed rat and tombstone’ news protection which had mainly been released in guys’s publications,” explains Magus Peter Gilmore, the Church of Satan’s current high priest, in an e-mail. “He was now giving his time to more major conversations of his philosophy, beyond the flamboyant and creepy trappings which initially brought him attention.”

Throughout the country, on the other hand, Kennedy was wrestling behind the scenes with concerns about his political fate. Advocates had once expected him to get his killed siblings’ mantle and try for the White House, yet the 1972 and 1976 governmental races found Kennedy on the sidelines, incapacitated by the specter of his 1969 car crash in Chappaquiddick that resulted in the death of a traveler, Mary Jo Kopechne, and resulted in him pleading guilty to leaving the scene of a mishap.

But Kennedy’s hesitancy faded by the end of the years, and he was heartened by early surveys that showed Democratic voters would prefer him over Carter in a governmental main fight. “He was running for president because he really thought President Carter was not dealing with concerns that were important,” says Stuart Shapiro, a previous Kennedy senior staffer.

Running for the country’s highest workplace, however, increased the chances that Kennedy might end up being a target for some psychopathic potential assassin who might lurk, confidential and unnoticed, at a busy rally. It was no idle risk. In March 1980, a tipster in Charlotte, North Carolina, got in touch with the cops after overhearing a group of males in a cinema boasting that they planned to assassinate Kennedy in Pittsburgh, with some taken M-16 rifles. A project volunteer in Trenton, New Jersey, got a phone call from a man who vowed to assassinate the senator when he visited the city in May.

Aside from blurting, “They’re going to shoot my ass off the way they shot Bobby,” while on a congressional flight back from Alaska, Kennedy shied away from sharing his assassination fears with aides or family members. “I remember being in Iowa, and when we ‘d first go out there, the Secret Service would produce this huge space between him and the crowd,” Shrum tells me.

Independently, Kennedy sought out his physician and political advisor, Larry Horowitz, and handed him something important. “It was a letter my daddy had written to me at the start of his presidential campaign, in case he was assassinated,” Patrick Kennedy, his youngest kid, remembered in his 2015 book, A Typical Battle: An Individual Journey Through the Past and Future of Mental Health Problem and Dependency Kennedy took to calling Patrick from the road every night– his method of letting his adolescent kid know nothing bad had occurred.

The informant who contacted the FBI in 1980 stated he ‘d received a call, too, on October20 The caller had identified himself as LaVey, the informant claimed, and disclosed that he wanted the man’s help with a strategy to murder Ted Kennedy.

The FBI and the Secret Service knew two things for certain: LaVey still lived in San Francisco, and they needed to get a deal with on the case– and fast.

Detectives didn’t have to contend with Twitter or Facebook, digital echo chambers that years later on would make political discourse more toxic and develop ideal shipment systems for giants to share threats.

The FBI’s San Francisco workplace pulled records it had on LaVey dating back to the mid-’70 s, when a tipster informed the bureau that LaVey had actually bought pistols, a shotgun and a rifle. Other files revealed that LaVey had actually once allegedly been “interested” in signing up with the National Socialist White People’s Party, which had been known, in an earlier incarnation, as the American Nazi Celebration.

LaVey had no arrest history, however he ‘d been linked to a disaster once previously. His relationship with Mansfield had actually reportedly ended with LaVey’s putting a curse on Sam Brody, the actress’ attorney and partner, assuring that he ‘d pass away in a vehicle crash. The unlikely ramification– that LaVey accidentally caused Mansfield’s death– persisted long enough to fuel a 2017 documentary, Mansfield 66/67

The Chicago informant– whose identity is still being concealed by the FBI– informed representatives that he ‘d had supper once prior to with LaVey, who discussed to him the Church of Satan’s beliefs. When they supposedly reconnected by phone in 1980, LaVey informed the guy that he owed the high priest a favor. His alleged directions were simple: In a week approximately, the informant would receive a bundle, and he should transport it to a mob employer on the South Side of Chicago; the mob would, in turn, get Kennedy. After the phone call, the informant was checked out by a member of the Church of Satan, whose purpose “was particularly to talk about the satanic cult and the plot against Senator Kennedy,” according to FBI records.

The informant informed the FBI that LaVey was going to fly to Chicago on October 27, bring with him eight kgs of hashish and an unknown amount of cash. Taking no chances, the FBI, Secret Service and DEA sent out agents to O’Hare International Airport to obstruct flights from San Francisco and capture LaVey, like something out of Steven Spielberg’s Catch Me If You Can An attempt at keeping an eye on a phone call to LaVey also failed.

The Secret Service had polygraphed the informant prior to the fruitless airport search. “Outcomes were inconclusive,” private investigators kept in mind, “due to use of drug.” They continued. They had to discover LaVey. “I was a young representative when President Kennedy was eliminated, and [investigated] some leads on the case,” states Francis Mullen, who had risen to executive assistant director of the FBI by1980 “When Bobby was assassinated, I was in Los Angeles, collaborating some of the leads on that case. If a danger had actually been available in on the third brother, we ‘d need to take it seriously.”

A lady who responded to LaVey’s door informed them that he was traveling, and would not be back for numerous days. The investigators alerted her they had information that recommended “an attempt may be made on LaVey’s life,” according to the records. They encouraged the female to get a hold of LaVey and urge him to make himself available for an interview.

Kennedy’s Secret Service detail was kept in the loop about the potential danger, however it’s uncertain whether the senator was mindful of the examination. The FBI began to see disparities in his account.

Detectives returned to the Black Home a 2nd time, on Halloween. And this time, when the door opened, they came in person with LaVey. For several years, he had actually taken pleasure in toying with individuals’s imaginations, blurring the lines between efficiency and something darker. And now he was faced with no-nonsense federal representatives, and they weren’t in the mood to mess around.

For a guy who referred to himself as the “Black Pope,” the prestige of being linked to an FBI examination may have been a welcome advancement when he was very first seeking attention for his church. This older version of LaVey, however, decided to come right out with it: He had absolutely nothing to do with any assassination plot.

” LaVey advised that of any political authorities, he has the highest regard for Senator Kennedy and his family,” according to the FBI records. And LaVey could have compassion with the dangers that Kennedy typically received; he informed the representatives that he had actually been the victim of physical and spoken attacks because of his position in the Church of Satan.

LaVey examined his current phone messages, and saw that he ‘d received calls from the Chicago location on October 23 and October27 But he told the representatives that he didn’t know the identity of the caller and had not tried calling the number that had been left for him.

And after that LaVey shared some surprising news with the representatives: His function as the head of the church was all a charade. Most of the church’s fans, he stated, were “fanatics, cultists, and weirdos,” the records show. “[H] is interest in the Church of Satan is strictly from a financial point of view,” the agents kept in mind, “and spends the majority of his time providing interviews, writing material, and recently has ended up being thinking about photography.”

Satisfied that Kennedy’s life wasn’t in danger, the FBI and Secret Service returned their attention to their informant. If he had an explanation for why he bothered to send out the firms on a while goose chase in the first place, no agent bothered writing it down.

This wasn’t the last time that LaVey popped up on the FBI’s radar. In the late 1980 s, the bureau would examine a wave of accusations about kid sex abuse that was apparently linked to satantic churches, including LaVey’s, sustaining a so-called “Hellish Panic.” The accusations were never ever substantiated. “Our company has actually constantly been above-ground about its law-abiding beliefs and practices, so wild stories are generally seen to be precisely that– not having any basis in reality,” Gilmore, the current high priest, tells me.

LaVey died in 1997, and the Black House was later taken apart, replaced by a relatively generic-looking condo.

For Kennedy, the LaVey case– such as it was– was simply another strange subplot in a life filled with them, the expense of being a Kennedy and leading a public life. No threat ever proved worrisome sufficient to convince him to give up his Senate seat, which he held up until his death from glioblastoma in2009 “You either live your life or you don’t,” Shrum says. “And he chose to live his life.”

The post When the FBI Thought a High Priest of Satan Was Trying to Kill Ted Kennedy appeared first on Actu Trends.

[terrellscriptz-blog]

TKOTH ep 2 ZEE DEE BOB HAIRCUT

The kidz on the hill

By Terrell Matthews

La’Rose Productions

3/31/2019

Episode 2: The Zeee Teee Bop HairCut!

Characters Brandon,Dad,MOM, uncle Charlie, Tez

Backstory summary of episode

Brandon dad gets a visit from his uncle who played football and ran track with his dad when they were kids so he is like family so they call him uncle Charlie he also lives with his dad for a few years after he had hard time in his family so Brandon’s grandpa took him in as his own. Uncle Charlie visits the home and dad and Charlie start to reminisce and drink thinking about the past and old times they had on the playing field. Tez and Brandon are brothers and actively fight and argue constantly boys will be boys right. While telling stories Brandon comes across a photo from dads and uncle Charlie past and notices a stylish hair cut . The adults ultimately decide to use Brandon as their lab rat and live through him to relive their youth by bringing this old retro haircut back problem is uncle Charlie has been drinking enough to be tipsy even if he did know how to cut hair drinking wouldn’t have enhance his skillz. Brandon Reluctantly goes with the flow even though it’s against his better judgment and decides to let uncle Charles cut his hair , even though it got to point where it really wasn’t his choice it was really the adults just using him to relive their glory days by being back some nostalgia or at least trying to. Brandon tells his brother about the hair cut and Tez knows this will be entertaining after not acting interested Tez joins them in the kitchen to witness the action , as well as live stream it for lifetime personal records. As they get started Brandon starts to see bigger chunks off his hair fall down and he doesn’t know if this is. Kemal or if he is just parold and seeing bigger chunks than usual in his mind.Brandon’s mom never let him grow his hair past a six month period it would get to a nappy can’t handle stage , so since he was approaching the 6month period of this grow cycle he knew he could possible grow beyond that. The vision was starting to fade as more hair started falling i just want the top left long Unc remember that . Tez is recording and having a ball laughing and entertains hisself cracking up with laughter just watching the whole disaster unfold he starts to encourage the uncle to make it better sarcastically but in turn really making it worse. At the end of the hair Brandon sees it and is terrified all those months flushed down the toilet he was highly upset . Tez his brother in full laughter and can’t contain it , uncle Charlie still not aware of the wrongdoing thinks he did a great job even though he is a bit tipsy. The end

THE ZEEE TEEE BOP HAIRCUT

Enters uncle Charlie , a family friend of Brandon’s dad since childhood. Brandon and tez are in the front room playing games on the tv his dad is in the kitchen when uncle Charlie arrives

UNCLE CHARLIE

Beys boys? How have y’all been

TEZ

Good

BRANDON

Good uncle , what you been up too

UNCLE CHARLIE

You know same o same o I’m going to let y’all finish y’all game where’s y’all dad

DAD

(Yells back from kitchen) I’m back here coon , come on back

As uncle Charles walk back to the kitchen the boys turn their attention back to their game the dad and Charlie catch up in the background as their voices fade

BACK TO LIVING ROOM ON THE GAME

In the background you can distinctly hear bits and pieces of their convo of the good ole days

BRANDON

Hurry up and choose your team you taking to long

tez

Chill bro your being impatient

brandon

You can’t spell impatient

TEZ

You slow

BRANDON

Your the one in the slow classes not me , you in my grade and suppose to be in one aheaaa....

MOM

Y’all better cut it out now!!

tez

See whAt you did

brandon

Aight relax man let’s get to this game you still trying to customize stuff let’s start it already

tez

Why would they have the option to do this stuff if they didn’t want us to use the specific feature

brandon

Your trippin

tez

No your tripping

brandon

Aight you trip and play this alone I’m about to go see what dad is doing

tez

Do you fam , they make cpu boys just for this type of occasion peace out Brodie (sarcastically)

brandon

Whatever man

tez continues to play the game customizing his features unbothered as brandon gets annoyed and leaves Into the kitchen

TEZ EXITS AND ENTERS KITCHEN

Dad and uncle Charlie are at the table with a beer talking and reminiscing about the good ole days they played ball together and ran track .

DAD

You remember that one game , when you leaped right up and caught it right over billy Robinson

UNCLE CHARLIE

Man that was a great play, the way the qb James tossed it right back to you on the RB toss and you faked that run by the time they realized you were about to throw it it was to late , good ole bill knew something was up and was the sole man in the area

dad

Sole man in the area ! Listen to this son, then your uncle Charlie

At this point Brandon has heard this story countless times but his dad and uncle tell it like it’s the first time ever telling it to them

DAD CONT

Look at me I look at him we both nodded I threw that bad boy right smack over him floating stride for stride with your uncle he leaps as billy tries to leap bills was fast so he got their right as your uncle came down with it but it was to late

UNCLE CHARLIE

Too late , I was already in the end one hahaha

Dad

Already in the end zone hahaha

They both clink beers and chuckle together

BRANDON

(Looks over at the both of them shakes his head and joins in on the laughter) great story y’all were some bad boyz bad in the day on the field and on the track huh

Dad

You already know son,

UNCLE CHARLIE

Check this out, I found a old newspaper clip with your dad and I back in the day look (hands Brandon phone with picture and news paper clip)

BRANDON

That’s dope Unc , oh snap I see that y’all are fresh with the matching haircuts

Dad

Yeah you like that huh

UNCLE C

Yeah our dad your grandpa use to hook us up for the games It’s called the city top fade

BRANDON

Ooo word , that’s nice

Dad

You know your uncle could “hook” you up if you wanted now

UNCLE C

Yeah you know I’m nice with clippers I use to cut your dads and my hair in high school

Dad

Go wash your hair and comb it out and I’ll get my clipper and set up in the kitchen for your uncle when your ready

BRANDON

Okay dad

Brandon exit kitchen enters living room

Brandon is a little skeptical at this point but that doesn’t stop him from going to his brother to get his advice on the matter. Brandon hair has been growing for some time now and it’s getting difficult to tame so the offer is deff being considered.

BRANDON

I know you are not still customizing your team

TEZ

And if I am ?

Brandon

I’m not even going to start with you , why uncle Charlie about to hook me up bro , he said he would give me this hair cut they had when they were younger gpa use to give it to them. It’s called the city top fade it’s super fresh bro

Tez

On what

BRANDON

On everything well you see ima go wash my hair and comb it out then he going to start in The kitchen I been needed a touch up on my hair too you kno I been trying to grow out the top for the longest but mom always make us cut it smh ridiculous

TEZ

Yeah I know right straight a shame but if it turn out coo I’ll be next for sure

BRANDON

Aight cool I’ll let him know that when I get back down , I’m too excited bro I can’t wait

Tez continues game and Brandon runs upstairs pick out hair and wash it . He returns back down after 10m or so

BRANDON WALKS INTO KITCHEN

Dad

Son your all set to go

UNCLE CHARLIE

Alright let’s do it ain’t nothing to it but to do it

BRANDON

(Starting to have second thoughts says) .. uhhmm Unc you sure you know what you are doing

UNCLE CHARLIE

Yes boy I am sure don’t question my sssskillz

By this time dad and uncle Charlie have had about 3 beers each and working on their fourth beer in one hand and clippers in the other after uncle Charlie finishes his sentence with skills he does a little shimmy dance move which further and confirm Brandon suspicious of uncle Charlie being a little tipsy Brandon sits and leans back reluctantly as Charlie drapes a sheet over his front side to protect his clothing from falling hair debris

HAIRCUT STARTS

BRANDON

What are you looking at ? Aren’t you suppose to be on the game

Tez

Don’t worry about me I’m here to watch and “admire uncle Charles skills” who know I might just learn something . ( Tez says this sarcastically and smirks, unnoticed by the adults)

BRANDON

Yeah okay you think you funny

Dad

Let the boy watch ,

UNCLE CHARLIE

Yeah , you worry about just being still , let him learn a thing or two from a pro( feeling admired)

Tez

Yeah worry about yourself

BRANDON

It’s cool , (Brandon sits still and plays on his cell phone)

Tez

What’s up live we live baby my little brother getting his hair trimmed up by a pro my Unc check him out y’all

Numerous comments are laughing anticipating the mess up of the uncle and and pointing out the slur speech of the adults and beer and know it will be a disaster , as Tez persist on instigating the matter making it worse

TEZ

Dang Unc that’s tight , make sure you get that spot right there too, dang bro you about to have all the ladies

UNCLE CHARLIE

Isn’t he tho , I told you I was nice now let me finish

BRANDON

Is is really coo bro or you just saying that I can’t tell from your face if your playing or not

TEZ

Your fresh bro I’m telling you , even everyone on love saying so

At the point dad has left to the bathroom and started talking to mom upstairs Brandon doesn’t know to be worried or excited but the anticipation is eating him alive he sees chunks of his hair falling as the clipper passss but doesn’t know if he is imagining bigger pieces falling than what is actually being cut out and falling he is tripping at this point

UNCLE c

Alright B all done

Tez

(Trying to hold in laughter) this the finish product y’all (chuckles) what’s y’all think y’all let him know in the comments I’m about to tag him in it

BRANDON

Aight I’m about to go look y’all playing

Tez

Go ahead bro

Brandon gets up hair falls off the sheet that’s draped around him onto the floor, and heads to the bathroom to check the mirror

Tez

(Laughing in background)

BRANDON

What In the world is this!!!

Tez

What you don’t like it

UNCLE CHARLIE

You don’t like it ?

BRANDON

Uncle Charlie no offense but what were you doing I said I’m growing my hair and to keep the top there’s patches everywhere on my head

UNCLE CHARLIE

It doesn’t look that bad B

BRANDON

Unc you been drinking so you don’t really see clear look at my head this is crazy

Brandon’s phone start to buzz from notifications , he’s being mentioned in tons of comments from the live stream his brother Tez was recording during the haircut so all of his friends seen it happen live he’s instantly embarrassed

BRANDON

Really Tez YOU!!

Tez

Chill bro it ain’t that deep your hair can grow back it don’t look that bad

BRANDON

Why would you

Tez

You want me to get next to help you feel better ?

BRANDON

Ignores Tez

TEZ

I’ll go next bro I got you , hey Unc can I get next up

BRANDON

You forreal

TEZ

You got me Unc

UNCLE CHARLIE

Yeah I can get you , unc Charlie stay with the skillz get in the chair

Tez walks over to chair sits down ,

UNCLE CHARLIE

You ready

Tez

Yeah (deep inhale exhale) Shake head

Uncle Charlie clippers start up buzzzzzzzzz, Tez looks at Brandon looks at uncle Tez jumps up

Tez

Sssiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeee what I look like getting a zzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeee teeeeeeeeeeeee booooooopppp on the top of my head like this fool

The end