#rant; The Hargreeves siblings are the worst! They are so bad at being people! Let Ben suck đ.
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Let Ben Hargreeves be an imperfect person.
Let him nag people to death as he sits on his moral high horse. Let him be snarky and bitter and jealous of the fact that he never got to live his life. Let him be immature and refuse to admit his own faults. Let him be frustrated with Klaus because he made the choice to stick around and not go into the light. Let him fail at being the voice of reason because honestly heâs been dead for seventeen years and doesnât know what heâs talking about.
Let him be a condescending, selfish hypocrite who is desperate for control. Let him be the type of person who hates losing. Let him call his siblings ânarcsâ and ânarcissistsâ when he doesnât agree with them. Let him be the type of scummy jerkwad that starts a crypto scam and helps his brother start a cult. Let him act like a miserable little pessimist who hates not getting his way. Let him be utterly pathetic and awkward and just kinda suck.
Let him be a Hargreeves.
#rant; perhaps Iâm a little tired of fanon Umbrella Ben. Just a little.#rant; The Hargreeves siblings are the worst! They are so bad at being people! Let Ben suck đ.#á´Ľď¸ a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day [ben hargreeves]#á´Ľď¸ being smart doesnât make you interesting [musings]#ben hargreeves#á´Ľď¸ i walk a lonely road [ooc]#the umbrella academy#tua spoilers#tua#umbrella academy#umbrella ben#sparrow ben#sparrow academy
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29Â | 30
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Pt 30 - Countdown to Chaos
After Five had vanished to go make a deal with the devil, you stood in the emptiness of the night staring at the spot where he had been. You weren't sure how you thought the night was supposed to go but it definitely didn't go the way it should've. It was a mess, an absolute clusterfuck, and yet, you weren't surprised. Of course, the Hargreeves were going to have a hard time confronting their father. They hadn't seen the man in years, especially Five, who had seen him last when he ran away from home and got stuck. You knew their trauma was long-lasting but they could've worked together rather than working against each other. And now here you all were, separated again and having to go down even more risky channels to get out of this god-forsaken timeline. You shook your head and let out a sigh as there was nothing left to do tonight but go home. Slowly you turned away from the building and walked the block slowly to where Charlie said he'd be parked. As you approached you made your way over to the passenger side and opened the door. Charlie looks over towards you and immediately notices the look on your face.
"Oh it was BAD bad, wasn't it?" He asks
As you got in the passenger seat you slumped down in it and replied,
"Immensely so."
"I called it. I knew having them get together with their dad was going to be worse than yesterday." Charlie comments as he starts to drive away
You knew he was right and he did call it but this was not the place to be doing so. The world was on a collision course and you were right in the path of destruction. You turn your head to look at him as you state,
"This is no time for bragging Charlie, things got really messed up."
"Well, it's not like you revealed your powers," Charlie says nonchalantly
You place your face in your hands as you slump further into your seat. Charlie takes a glance over to you as he drives and questions,
"You didn't reveal your powers, right?"
Taking your face out of your hands you look towards him with an awkward grimaced expression but don't say any words. Charlie glances back over and you and when he realizes you're not saying anything he slams on the breaks stopping the car. His eyes go wide as he quickly states,
"(Y/N), this is bad."
"I know!" you exclaim
"(Y/N) this is really bad. How did this happen?" He replies, a hint of panic in his voice
"I didn't really plan on doing it but then Reggie was going on a tirade at Diego and Diego was getting so sad and so I got mad and I threw a knife at Reggie and became visible and then I had to explain myself and then I got angrier and started showing off my powers and now he knows I have powers and I really fucked up." You rant frantically
"Oh no, this is bad...this is bad."
"That's not even the worst part." You complain
"What could be worse than showing your powers to Reginald?!"
"HE SAID HE WAS MY FATHER!" You yell
"Oh god, that IS worse!" Charlie exclaims back "Oh this is so bad. This is really really bad (Y/N)."
"I know and like...I love all the Hargreeves dearly, even Luther who is being a dick to me right now, but holy shit when everyone gets together everything falls apart and so fast. Like surprisingly fast."
"What do we do? Do you have a plan? You have a plan right?" Charlie asks distressed
"Well, I don't think I can get Allison to rumor him into forgetting I have powers because that would require getting her to see him in person again and having the two of them talk long enough that she can rumor him which seems unlikely. So in terms of a plan...we have no plan."
"No there has to be a plan." Charlie remarks "Okay okay. What if we all go to Europe? You, me, your boyfriend, and all of his family just up and leave for Europe right now. We'll change our names and start new lives."
"No that wouldn't work."
"Why not?"
"Those people can not effectively gather together even if their life depended on it and I'm pretty sure only you and I have passports at this time so we would be the only ones allowed outside of the country."
"Damn, you're right. "
"Also, on a lesser note, the world is ending in a few days so even if we did all manage to go to Europe it probably would be all for naught."
Charlie sucks in his breath before letting it out defeated. Plopping back into his seat, he looks at the roof of the car before asking,
"So what do we do now then?"
"We go home." You reply quietly
Charlie continues to look up at the ceiling for a bit before letting out a huff. Tilting his head back down to look at the road, he places his hands back on the wheels and slowly starts to drive back to your house. You shook your head disappointment across your face as you thought about the predicament you were in. The predicament you all were in. As you continued to lean back in your seat as you looked at the passing flashes of street lights above. Everything was moving so fast. You knew you would get home at some point no matter how slow Charlie drove or how long the path he drove took and you were worried about what lied at the end of that drive.
Five was not happy with what lied at the end of his journey either. His siblings couldn't keep it together for one evening. Not even an hour. It was ridiculous how unreliable they were. And yet, here he was making his way to the second to last person on earth he'd ask for help to try and get them all back to 2019 where they belonged. He needed to get all of his siblings out of this time but he especially wanted to get you out of here. If he could get everyone back to 2019 then things would be okay and the two of you could have the life together that you deserved.
Five's mind was filled with the thoughts of you. He needed to get you out of this timeline, especially now that this version of his father knew you had powers. He didn't think that his father would hurt you, especially since he had called himself your father, but Reginald was still Reginald and Five was worried about what would come next. You were probably on your way back to the house you shared with that man and any number of things could happen between now and the time he saw you next. He needed to get this contingency plan over with and fast. Arriving at the hotel the handler was staying at he made his way up to the second floor to room 217. As he approached the double-doored room he felt a sense of deja vu. It was only five days for him since he had last met up with her at a different semi-formal hotel room. Five paused in front of the door and took a breath. Raising his hand up he knocked on the door and within seconds the double doors opened to reveal the handler standing behind them. it was as if she knew he was coming. The handler had her signature smile on her face, one that looked happy but hid a sinister nature behind it.
"Ah! Just in time for a nightcap." She commented before heading into the room
Five hesitated for a second before cautiously stepping into the room. He took a look around and the place and once he felt he had scoped it out enough turned around and shut the doors behind him. A critical look was on his face as he approached where the handler stood. With two drinks in her hand and a cigarette between her teeth, the handler turned to look at Five.
"To be clear, I take out the board you get me and my family home. No more doomsday, no more apocalypse. Is that correct?" Five questioned
With a drink in hand, the handler walked over to a nightstand by the bed and picks up a piece of paper before proceeding to slowly lay on her side across the bed. She looks up at Five and replies,
"That's the deal."
Five bites the inside of his cheek as he looks around the room. He really didn't want to do this. He knew that working with her was never going to end well and yet the desire to save you and his family was worth the risk that might come with this deal. Looking back at the handler, Five states,
"Then I'm in."
The handler twiddles a piece of paper in between her fingers before extending it out for Five to take. Five doesn't move from his spot trying not to get any closer to her but leans in slightly so he can grab the paper. Once he takes it from her he unfolds it and reads what it says.
The Lonely Lodger Inn.
Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1982.
"So how do I get there and back?" Five questioned
"I have a briefcase for you. Specifically, programmed for two trips. One to take you to the exact time and place listed on that note where the board is and one to take you right back to Dallas, on the morning of November 22nd, 1963."
Clever. Of course, she wouldn't just hand him a regular briefcase, then he would be able to bring everyone back without having to go kill the board. Five hated how she was one step ahead of him.
"Where is it?" Five asked
"Oh, the briefcase is in the corner over there." The handler replied taking another puff of her cigarette
Five looked towards his right to the corner of the room she had gestured to and saw a briefcase sitting there. Carefully, he made his way over and grabbed it. As he did so he could feel the handler's laser-like gaze on him, boring into his back. It sent an odd feeling down his spine that he didn't appreciate. Picking up the briefcase, he pocketed the note she gave him before turning around and heading towards the door. As Five reaches out for the door handle, the handler comments,
"Y'know Five, I'm getting pretty tired of not getting to meet your sweet little girlfriend in person. I'm sure you're doing this for her, aren't you?"
Five turns on his heel and with vile in his voice retorts,
"My reasons for doing this are none of your business and you will never meet her."
"Aw, don't be so harsh. I just want to see her up close and take a look at that pretty face you happen to love so much." The handler teases
"If you so much as lay a hand on her I will personally make sure that when you are killed you stay dead this time." Five rebukes
He was done with the handler's games. He hated the way that she talked about you, it made his blood boil, and if the handler wasn't the person he needed to help get everyone out of Dallas he probably would've killed her on the spot. He just hoped that you'd never have to see her in person. Turning back around Five opens the door and starts to walk out. From behind her Five can hear the handler call out,
"We'll see Five. I have my ways."
Not looking back Five stated,
"And I have mine."
And just like that, he was gone and on his way to get back to you as soon as possible.
Soon was not soon enough though because with each minute you got closer and closer to arriving back home at the mansion in Dallas. You and Charlie drove down the road towards the house quietly, nervous tension in the air. Both of you worried about what might occur next. As you passed the estate in which Klaus lived with his cult you knew the drive was almost over. Mentally you tried to prepare yourself as the car rolled up into the driveway of the house. Slowly the car came to a stop in front of the main door. You and Charlie both looked towards the door but didn't move from the car. You weren't nervous per se but this was uncharted territory having someone other than Charlie know about your powers, especially since it was Reggie. After a moment the two of you carefully opened the doors to the car and step out. Closing the car door you stare up at the house that only a few days ago you'd comfortably enter and exit with ease. Charlie makes his way around the car and stands next to you. The two of you continue to look up at the towering building as Charlie states,
"We can dip if you want."
A small smile came to your face and you felt a bit better hearing your friend correctly use one of your future words.
"Good usage." you complimented
"Thank you, but I'm serious. We can go. I'll speed us back to town we can find your boyfriend and just...I don't know do something."
You paused for a second. You could run but it wouldn't be like you. You had been in worse situations in life. You had jumped through time and started over when you were 13, you had fought criminals on multiple occasions, you had almost died, and then jumped through time and started over again. A fire built within you as you remembered the fact that you had lived with since you first met Reginald. You were stronger than this man, he had no hold over you.
"No, Charlie. I've been in worse situations. Whatever lies for me on the other side of that door I can deal with it."
Charlie looked towards and saw the determined look in your eyes as you stared at the building. A smirk came to his face as he could see the fire of courage radiating off of you, but Charlie's smirk faltered though. From the start, your strength had always impressed him, and yet even with your evident bravery he couldn't help but worry for you, his only friend. Charlie let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in before saying,
"Okay, let's go."
You gave him a small nod and the two of you walked into the house. As you arrived in the foyer Marie approached you with a smile on her face. With her hands clasped together in front of her, she greeted,
"Welcome home, (Y/N) and hello, Charlie. Sir Hargreeves has requested to speak with you in his office at your earliest convenience."
"Oh, thank you. We'll head there straight away." You formally replied
You and Charlie started to walk in the direction of his office but Marie stepped in front of the two of you blocking the path. A smile still on her face as she added,
"Alone, miss (Y/N)."
You turned to look at Charlie and you could see the concern in his eyes even if the rest of his face looked blank. Turning to your friend you looked up at him and calmly say,
"Go to my room, Charlie."
Charlie looks at you and his mouth opens a little bit as if he was about to say something but you place a hand on his shoulder squeezing it tightly as you look him in the eyes. In a steady tone you direct,
"Go to my room, Charlie."
Charlie lets out a sigh before giving you a small nod and turning away. You watch as he walks up the foyer stairs to head to your room before turning away and walking towards the office. When you arrive at where the office was you see the door is already open and Reginald is sitting behind his desk vigorously writing in his notebook. Stepping into the doorway you speak in a flat tone,
"You requested my presence?"
"Yes. Take a seat." Reginald replies not looking up from his writing "And get the door will you."
You let out a small huff before walking into the room and closing the door behind you. Approaching him you sit in a chair on the opposite side of the desk, displeasure on your face. You watch as he continues to write not saying anything or even looking up at you. Rolling your eyes you start the conversation,
"Why am I here Reggie?"
Placing his pen down, he stops writing in his notebook and looks up to focus on you. Clasping his hands together he places them on his desk as he responds formally,
"I have questions."
"About what?" you question unenthused
"You, for one" He states, "But also my apparently seven adopted children, and this awful future you all seem to mention."
Your head tilts to the side curiously as a wry smile appears on your face. Crossing your arms you lean back into your chair and look at him. A Latin phrase you had heard many times came to your mind.
"Saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futuram sit," You spoke
The phrase meaning, often it is not advantageous to know what will be. There was an irony to the words as the person who had said them to you so many times was the man sitting before you. Granted, he had said this to you during the years you lived with him in the future, but it was ironic nonetheless. Reginald's eyebrows raised at your words, looking almost impressed with your response. Leaning forward slightly Reginald replies,
"Sapiens autem semper ad futurum parari."
Knowing Reginald, he would figure out the answers to his questions by whatever means he had to. You were not a fan of the idea of talking about the future with him but if you answered his questions you could at least shape the narrative. Letting out a small breath you uncrossed your arms and sat upright. Reluctantly you nodded towards him, agreeing to whatever line of questioning he had in mind, but added,
"I'll answer questions but I get to decide on how much information is given."
"Fair enough." He responds, reopening his notebook "You were born on the same day as my alleged children?"
"They are your children." You state "and yes, I was on October 1st, 1989 at 12 p.m. sharp like all the others that day."
"But you mentioned you had a father back at dinner." Reginald comments
You paused for a moment. It had been so long since you fully stopped and thought about your dad. It was so long since you last saw him, almost a decade at this point, but you did have a father, and he was the best one you could've asked for. Speaking up again you said,
"I did. He was not biologically related to me but he raised me as if I was. All the children born that day were spontaneous. The women were not pregnant when the day started but by noon all of them had given birth."
"Curious." Reginald remarks
He takes down some notes before looking up at you again and inquiring,
"So if you had your own family, how did you come about mine?"
"Accidentally." You answer curtly
"Elaborate." Reginald requests
You paused again to think about how to word the information he was asking for. You and the Hargreeves had already left an impact on this timeline which made you concerned about the impacts on the future. Although there was a chance everything would be normal upon your return to 2019, you still wondered what could happen given your involvement in the 1960s. You had to be careful with how much you spoke because if the timeline was changed you suspected he might try to find and adopt you. It's not like your mother would even consider giving you up, nor did she ever report the details of your spontaneous birth to anyone other than your father, so you were not one of the 43 he would know about but still...it was risky. You needed to express enough information to quell his curiosity but not enough to implicate yourself and your family.
"My family was around the mansion up north, close enough that the rumors of an eccentric billionaire adopting seven mysterious children, born the same day and time as me, who never left the house, made their way to my parents' ears. They outright told me not to go near the house but curiosity got the best of me and I went anyway." You explain "I used my powers to get through the gates and became invisible to sneak into the courtyard. I just went to have a look around but instead, I was accidentally pushed over a bench and that's when I first came in contact with your family. Specifically, your son Five."
"The one you're partnered with." Reginald certifies
"Correct." You affirm
Reginald turns back down to look at his notebook and writes more in it. You couldn't really see what he was writing but the number of lines of words appearing down on the paper made you both curious and concerned.
"A peculiar first meeting, but I've probably heard worse," Reginald utters as he continues to write
"Oh, thanks." You remarked sarcastically, rolling your eyes
No matter the situation or person he always seemed to find a way to criticize things.
"And the rest of them?"
"I had been using my powers to spend time with Five without being noticed but at some point, we were found out. We came clean and soon after I was introduced to the rest of the children." You say, recalling that first meeting with his siblings
Oh, how simple times were when you were all small and young and the biggest problem you faced was getting enough time to hang out between you going to school and them fighting crime. Things were better back then. Easier. And once again you wondered what life would've been like if Five hadn't jumped all those years ago. You were pulled out of your nostalgic thoughts when you heard Reginald go,
"Interesting."
Placing his pen down Reginald turns back to you.
"I'm assuming the children were under my instruction with their powers, so why are you more powerful and less problematic than them?"
It took a second to register his words but when you did you tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows at him. Did he really just ask that? How dare he speak about them like that. You knew that he had only met them in passing so it was infuriating to you that he'd to even be making such statements. Now, was he technically correct? Yes. But it didn't give him the right to do so because he didn't know them so he had no basis to talk about such matters. You let out a huff as you started to explain,
"Why am I more powerful? Well, for one I kind of won the power lottery. The power to manipulate molecules, the things that make up our existence, generally can cast a wider net of potential abilities than super strength or rumoring people to do things. Their powers are valid and useful but it's hard to diversify those assets."
As you thought about how you needed to explain this to Reginald you could feel a fire build within you. You sat upright in your chair, with your shoulder back and your arms firmly seated on the armrests, hands forming into fists. You stared him down as he waited for more of a response and when you had formed your thoughts you chastised,
"On top of that, I chose to develop my powers naturally. My parents helped build a foundation so I wouldn't blow the house up or get stuck in a wall but after that, I dictated if I wanted to learn or not. There was no forcing, coercion, or expectations. I learned because I wanted to and my parents supported my efforts with love. It might sound cliche but love truly is the most powerful force in this world, and I'm less 'problematic' as you put it because you didn't raise me. I was raised with that love."
Reginald looked at you quietly, readjusting himself in his seat before saying,
"Are you insinuating that the reason that group was an uncouth disgrace to my legacy was due to my parentage?"
"Insinuating? No. Stating? Yes." you retorted
"Oh really now?" He questioned
"Your children have their issues, but it was of no fault of their own. It was you who instilled these deep-rooted traumas and conflicts in them and provided them with no parental guidance on how to deal with these issues. They had no support system. They were child soldiers rather than children. You gave them numbers one through seven and reduced them to a ranking scale." You berated
You stared at Reginald intensely and he could see the fire in your eyes. Literal fire in your eyes that were red and flickered like glowing embers. Your emotions boiling over to the point where you were starting to physically express them with your power. Reginald's eyes widened as he saw the power you held. Picking up his pen he began to take more notes, but you felt as if you were going to explode if you continued to sit in the chair across from him. Getting up quickly you walked away from the seat and across the room to look out the window. Facing away from him you continued to say,
"And when they were all gone you gave me the number zero because you thought I was better than them. I rejected that number because I am a person and I am not better than them. But the reason you like me so much, the reason you've always liked me better, placed me higher, whether you explicitly showed it or not, is because I'm everything you wanted them to be that they never became. And why is that? Because I was raised as a human not an object of violence."
"So I'm the problem," Reginald replied
"Yes, and the problems only got worse after the incident." You stated
"Where Five ran away into the future and brought you with him?" Reginald suggested
Your eyes went wide as you whipped around to face him, the angry fire within you building as you demanded,
"How do you know about that?"
Reginald looked at you calmly and said,
"He told me when I pulled him away to chat."
You stopped for a second as you processed his words. You didn't expect Five to tell him about that but perhaps he felt open enough to do so. You thought about that day, the one where everything changed, and everyone was put into a more difficult situation than before. Your anger started to fade as you thought about your darker days post jump and the horrors Five had dealt with. Letting out a breath you started to calm down and looking towards the ground you quietly explained,
"Well, yes that was the incident. He got stuck in a wasteland, I was dropped into 2013 where everything that I knew was gone, and the rest of your children had to deal with the fallout of Five's rash decision."
"Unfortunate." Reginald curtly commented
You looked up towards him and looked back towards you. You could see some type of shift in his demeanor before he continued,
"He also mentioned that he spent 45 years in said apocalypse and is most likely older than I am now. Was that in jest? Because it didn't come off that way. And if so I don't know how comfortable I am with you dating someone almost 3 times your age even if he is both my son and the most competent boy I've met so far."
Oh god, not this again. He was acting as a parent. As your father. Disgusting. Your anger and sadness completely faded away and your witty and sarcastic demeanor returned in full swing.
"That's too bad buckaroo." You responded "He looks my age and that's what people are going to notice. Also, he's my best friend, you don't get a say in my dating life, I do what I want."
"Ugh, insolent child. Whatever will I do with you?" Reginald asked rhetorically as he shook his head in disappointment
"Not sure, but something is comforting about you sounding just like the Reggie from the future Umbrella Academy. But let me be honest here, Umbrella Academy is kind of a stupid name. I mean it's on-point branding given your business but it doesn't inspire anything." You explained in a joking yet critical tone
Reginald sat back in his chair as he listened to you rant and criticize the academy he had created. Picking up his pen he began to jot down notes about the criticisms you were giving.
"And don't get me started on that dumb motto. Ut Malum Pluvia." you rant "When evil reigns? I mean I appreciate a good play on words and I can commend you for that but it's so...depressing. You expected your children to save the world with such a hope-crushing motto sewn on their uniform?"
"Well then what would you do?" Reginald asked looking up from his writing
"If I was the parent of seven super-powered children and created an academy with the purpose of saving the world I'd probably take some influence from my mom because she was so bright and hopeful for me before the incident happened and that hope she instilled in me kept me going after."
"So what would you call your academy then?"
You thought for a moment about your mother. The one who unexpectedly gave birth to you and yet called you her own the minute you were born. The one who gave everything to make sure you had the best life. The one who raised you to be the best you could be. The same one who loved and protected you, and whose memory helped to keep you going after you had both disappeared in your own ways. You faded into your thoughts as you recalled the many experiences you shared with her and settled on the one that stood out most.
"The Sparrow Academy." you answered genuinely "My mother used to take me out on summer nights and early mornings before the sun came up to hear the sparrows sing. They were her favorite bird and she always told me that a sparrow's song in the dark leads to a brighter future."
"Canticum in Tenebris." Reginald spoke
"Yes, a song in the dark. Every little bit would all be influenced by her. I have loved many people in my life but if I had to be a part of some academy of children, I'd do it if it was in memory of her."
Reginald finished penning down all that you had said to him and looked up towards you once more. Looking back you broke the silence and asked,
"Do you have any more questions?"
"No."
"Well if we're done here I will be heading to my room because, in all honesty, you terrify Charlie and the longer I stay here the more he'll probably assume I'm dead."
Walking towards the door of the office you hear Reginald's voice from behind you,
"Goodnight, (Y/N)."
"Goodbye, Reginald."
As you walk out and close the door to the office you make your way back to the foyer so that you could head upstairs to your room. As you do so you see Grace standing in the foyer looking at some piece of paper. When she looks up and sees you she folds the paper up and places it in the pocket of her cardigan.
"Hey, sweetie," She greets
"Oh hey, mom," you respond
"I saw you came from the direction of Reggie's office. Is everything alright?" She asks
"Oh yeah, we were just discussing my new car." You lied
Your mom didn't seem to pick up on your lie though. Instead, she looked around the foyer before taking a step closer to you.
"Well, that's nice." She said "You know what I was thinking? How about you and I pack up all our stuff and take a long trip?"
You were confused as to why she was speaking in a lower tone of voice. It was as if she was trying to hide something or keep others from listening. You lowered your voice a bit as well but tried to act as if everything was normal.
"That sounds fun. Is Reggie coming?" You inquired
"I have to talk with him about his work and then we'll see if he comes along." She answers
"Oh. Alright." You said
Your mom took another step towards you and leaned in closer, cupping your face in her hands. There was a smile on her face as she held you but the emotion in her eyes was less so of happiness and more so of concern. Looking you directly in the eyes your mom quietly states,
"Great, now you go pack everything. Okay?"
Her tone of voice was less like a suggestion and more like a command. And the way she emphasized the word everything took you back a little bit and sent a small chill down your spine. You looked at your mom for answers but she said nothing more.
"Uh." you paused before hesitantly continuing "Okay mom."
Your mom let go of your face and pulled you into a tight hug. Without another word, she walked off towards the living room and you headed up to your room. Opening the door you see Charlie sitting on your bed vigorously bouncing his leg, his hands clasped together so tightly that his knuckles were turning extremely white. When he heard the door open his head shot up to look at you and he sprang off the bed. You entered the room and closed the door behind you before turning back to your friend.
"Are you okay?" He questioned concerned
"I'm fine. Although I did just have a very odd conversation with my mom."
"What happened?"
"I'm honestly not sure. She seemed slightly paranoid and told me to pack up all my stuff. It's not like her." You explained as you paced about your room
"Is she trying to make a run for it with you?" Charlie asked
"Maybe? I don't know." you answered "Although I don't even know what would have her so worried that she wants us to run away, especially since she was completely fine this morning."
"That's very odd." Charlie comments "So what happened with Sir Reginald?"
"Quite a bit. Why don't you take a seat." You suggested
Charlie sat down on the foot of your bed as you paced in front of him recounting as best as you could what had happened in your meeting with Reginald. As you started to detail the events, Five had finally finished his journey to get to you. It took a bit given the fact that where you were and where the handler was were practically on the opposite side of town. The hotel the handler was staying in was nice enough but it still was on the lesser side of Dallas, while you were living in the more affluent area. Five had to navigate his way across town but at least he knew exactly where you were. When he had found the invitation to the Mexican Consulate the address listed on the envelope was not that of 82 Olive Street where the D.S. Umbrella Manufacturing Company was located so he assumed it was sent to the house in which you lived. Carefully, he made his way up the driveway making sure to not be seen by anyone. As he did so he saw Charlie's convertible parked out front confirming that you were here. Making his way around the back he stood in the cover of the trees as he looked through the windows to see if he could find you. On the backside of the house, he could see you in what he assumed to be your room pacing about the place. He needed to get your attention but didn't want to accidentally startle you and alert his presence to the whole mansion and he didn't even know if you were alone in the room as well. Looking around for something he saw some pebbles on the ground. Picking one up he threw it at your balcony door.
From inside, you and Charlie stopped talking and both turned your heads toward the balcony as you heard a small sound of something outside.
"What was that?" You asked
"I don't know." He responded
The two of you stayed quiet as you waited for anything else to happen. After a few moments, the sound of a small ping on the glass of your balcony door could be heard. Charlie stood up from the bed and two of you looked at each other for a second. Slowly, you both approach the balcony doors and as you did another ding could be heard. Looking down onto the balcony you saw a few small rocks scattered.
"Someone is throwing rocks at your window," Charlie said
"Well, as long as it's not Hoyt's son Halvor outside I think it'll be okay." You commented
"I now hope it's Halvor." Charlie replies "I want a Romeo and Juliet scenario but you outright insult him instead."
You rolled your eyes at Charlie as you carefully opened the doors to the balcony and stepped onto it to look down at the ground below. Fortunately, it was not Halvor and instead was your beloved Five. Turning to look back at Charlie you stated,
"It's Five, Charlie."
"Aw man," Charlie says disappointed "It's just regular Romeo and Juliet for me I guess..."
"You're a dork." You replied
"Hey!" He exclaimed
You ignored him though and turned to look back at Five who looked up at you with a smile on his face.
"What are you doing here?" You asked in a hushed tone
"I have a plan to get us out of here." He replies mimicking your tone as he holds up a briefcase
You take a look around outside to check that no one is around before waving your boyfriend up to you and whispering,
"Come up here."
Five nods his head and spatial jumps up to the balcony and steps into your room. You close the door to the balcony behind him and close the drapes so no one can see into your room from the outside anymore. Looking at Charlie you command,
"Lock the door."
Charlie gives a quick nod and heads over to the door as you turn your attention back to Five.
"You got a briefcase to bring us back to 2019?" You question
"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that..." Five replies "Like I said I went and made a plan with the devil and I got this briefcase but it's programmed to bring me to a certain time and place and then back to Dallas."
"Why is it programmed like that?" Charlie questions as he approaches the two of you
"I have to go and kill the board of directors for the commission and she said she'll give me a briefcase to take us back to 2019 with everything as it should be and no apocalypses in any timeline." Five explains
"I have no clue what any of that means," Charlie replies
"It's alright, Charlie." You comfort before turning back to Five "Are you sure you can trust her on this?"
"I'm not sure but it's the only option we have to get out of here."
"Alright. I'm coming with you then."
"What do you mean?" Five questions
"I don't trust this woman one bit so there's no way I'm letting you do this alone." You explain before turning to Charlie "Charlie, I never knew when this would happen but it's time."
"Oh shit," Charlie exclaims
"Time for what?" Five questions
"THEÂ plan." You say as you head over to your closet
Crouching down you push some boxes to the side before using one of your knives to unscrew the vent in the back. Reaching in you pull out a box before resetting everything to look normal. Grabbing the box you stand up and bring it over to your vanity table. Five and Charlie both make their way over to you and you start to explain the plan.
"Charlie and I came up with this plan a while ago in case I ever needed to sneak out unexpectedly. I knew you would come back so we set this all up in advance if I ever needed to leave to do something like this with you." You detail as you start to take stuff out of the box "I have a note that I'm going to put on the door that says I went to bed early and not to disturb me. The door will stay locked so no one can come in and if someone tries Charlie has time to prepare a story."
As you unpack some more items you quiz Charlie a bit about the plan. It had been about a year and a half since you came up with this thing so you wanted to make sure he still knew what to do.
"Typically the latest I get out of bed is 11 am so if I'm not back by then what should you do?"
"Take the note out of the box that says you left early to on a walk down the road and take my car saying I'm heading to find you. Then I'll drive off to town for the day and wait near a central location for you to come back." Charlie replies
"Correct." you state before adding "If anything else happens you have all the contingency plan materials in the box."
You take the note about going to bed early along with a piece of tape and unlock your door, hanging it up on the outside. Closing the door again you lock it and turn back to the boys. Five looks on with pride at you. You were so smart and always so prepared, but more so you were so sure of yourself that he would return for you that you had put plans in place to be able to leave on a moment's notice. You amazed him more each and every day and reminded him why he had done all the things he did and all the things he was doing now. Finished up with the box you turn to Charlie and state,
"Charlie I believe in you."
Charlie nods his head before wrapping you in a hug and replying,
"Come back soon."
"I will."
Stepping out of the hug, you turn to Five and extend your hand out towards him.
"Ready to follow me?" Five questions
"Always," you answer
With that Five takes your hand and in a flash of blue energy, the two of you travel away out of your room and through time to where you needed to go. When the energy flashed again you were in a completely different place. Steadying yourself you took a few deep breaths. Compared to the last time you time traveled the molecular disturbance didn't hurt as much. Maybe you were getting better at redistributing them. Even though you felt alright Five looked at you with concern. He held your hand a bit tighter and you could see the worried look in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" He questioned
"I'm alright darling. I'm getting better at managing molecular disturbances...I think." you explain
"That response does not fully fill me with confidence."
"That's too bad, we have a job to do." you remind
Five rolled his eyes at you. He didn't understand how could you just wave off the disturbance you felt like it was nothing, but you made a good point. You had a job to do and the quicker it was over with the better. Five pulled the note out of his pocket that had the place of where the board meeting was happening listed. Looking up at the building in front of the two of you, he confirmed that it was the place. Putting the note back in his pocket he took the briefcase and stashed it behind a large shrub on the backside of the building. With all of that done the two of you made your way to the front of the building. You looked around and saw many people in traditional clothing and the sound of polka music echoed from the building. Five grabbed the door and held it open for you to walk in with him following after. The two of you looked around the place checking to see if anyone out of the ordinary, commission-looking types, were around. You didn't see anything odd, except for the overwhelming amount of polka dancers inside the lodge. You follow Five as he walks over to a woman and says,
"Excuse me."
The woman turns to look at him and replies,
"Uff da. You snuck up on me there. If you're looking for the cookies, we don't put 'em out till 3:00."
"Ooh cookies," you exclaim
No. Wait. You had to focus on the task at hand. No cookies.
"We can hardly wait." Five comments "Uh, do you happen to know where the Midwest Soybean Society is meeting?
"Sure do. Muskellunge Banquet Room. You looking for your parents? They in for the convention?" The woman responds politely
Instead of answering her questions, Five looks off in the distance. You couldn't quite tell what he was looking at but the woman looked at the two of you for a response.
"Yes, our parents are prominent members of the society." you confidently lied
Five looked back towards the woman and held out a dollar before asking curiously,
"Hey, could I get some change?"
"Oh, sure, I'll just look in my purse." She says as she opens a fanny pack "Only a nickel and a couple of dimes. Oh! You... are...in... luck, mister."
The woman hands a few quarters to Five and he takes them in his hand. He looks off to the side as if he was deep in thought and says,
"You know some say the best luck is to die at the right time."
Five then walks off towards where the banquet room was as you and the woman both look on confused. The woman looks back to you and you shoot an apologetic look.
"Um...my boyfriend recently started taking a philosophy course at school. I'm trying to work with him on when it's appropriate to bring up philosophical statements."
The woman silently looks back at you confused and you walk away from her and follow your boyfriend. You can tell there's a shift in his body language as he walks towards the vending machine. He stood up straighter and his movements were stiff. He looked around before starting to place to coins he received in the vending machine. As he did so you approached him and stood by his side. You could see an angry and frustrated look on his face. You watched as he typed in the letter and number combo necessary to get a fudge Nutter Bar.
He loved those immensely. You were the one who introduced those to him when you got a bunch trick-or-treating on Halloween years ago. You knew he and his siblings wouldn't be able to go so you stole a bunch of candy to give to them and jumped over to their house later at night to distribute the sweets. You had given Five a Fudge Nutter bar to try first from the bag of candy and he became obsessed. He took the rest of them before his siblings even got a chance to try but you thought it was cute.
Coming out of your thoughts you notice your boyfriend getting frustrated at the machine. His eyebrows start to furrow and he tenses up more as he aggressively presses the buttons. He then tries to reach his hand through the vending machine door to try and get the bar he paid for out.
"Five what if I-" You start to say
You wanted to suggest using your powers but before you could fully get your words out your Five started to vigorously shake the machine.
"Come on!" He angrily exclaimed
"Uh- Five?" You try again
It is to no avail though as he steps back and starts to bang into the machine with his shoulder in his attempt to free his bar before shaking the machine again but harder. You knew your boyfriend was under an immense amount of stress given back-to-back apocalypses in about a two-week time frame and this stubborn Fudge Nutter was probably his breaking point. Now you knew you could step in and probably ease his tension with some love and compassion but you also had a weird curiosity to see what would happen. As he continued to shake the vending machine Five yelled,
"Stupid mother Fudge Nutter! Fuckin' Fudge Nutter!"
And taking a step back he kicked in the glass on the machine. Realizing what he did Five stopped and scratched the back of his neck. Taking a deep breath he turned towards the doorway which led to the banquet hall the board of directors was meeting in. Walking that way he dragged a finger across the side of a cake resting on a nearby table picking up some icing. You followed behind pulling out a knife and holding it in your hand preparing to fight. Five licked the icing off his finger before looking around and seeing an ax on the wall he grabs it and readjusts it in his hands. You could tell from the everything that he was displaying a high amount of frustration and although given the context it was an understandable expression of his feelings you knew it could lead to are more arduous killing process. You noticed as he started to prep himself to walk in the doorway that lead towards the hall but before he could step through you teleported yourself in front of him. Before he could react you grabbed his face tightly with your free hand pulled him into a forceful kiss. Pulling back and letting go of his face you watched as he blinked a few times in surprise.
"Oh- wow." He commented, "I was not against that in the slightest but um is there a reason?"
You twiddle with your knife as you reply,
"I thought that would be the best way to steady you. From my own experience kills are quicker and more effective if you have a steady balance between your erraticism and logic."
Although he kept a calm exterior, Five was screaming on the inside. His heart racing as if he had just run a marathon. Everything in his logic screamed that this was not the time to be feeling like this. The board that needed to be killed was just around the corner and the time was counting down to another apocalypse. And yet, every other part of said this was the time and screamed for more. Five collected himself and removed one of his hands from the ax to readjust his tie and jacket. Although alarm bells were still going off in his head a smirk appeared on his face as he suggested,
"Well, then I'll have to come to you for steadiness more often then."
Catching his drift, you take a step closer to him and use your free hand to grab him by his tie and pull him closer to you. A playful smirk resembling his own appears on your face as you whisper to him,
"Well how about this, the sooner we get this done and return to 2019 the sooner I'll provide you with some more...steadiness."
Everything screamed louder as a fire built within him. He was going to kill this board as if his life depended on it.
"I like that plan."
You let go of his tie and take a step out of the way of him. He raises his ax back up and prepares himself as you state,
"After you then mon chĂŠri."
A wide smile appears on Five's face and there's a determination in his eyes as he walks through the doors and marches down towards the room that held the board of directors. You turned yourself invisible and followed after him. As Five steps through the door to the room, he can see AJ turn to look at him. There was something about seeing the people whom he both had worked with as a murderous pawn but also was left alone in the apocalypse for decades by that sent him into a rage.
"You!" AJ exclaims "Call security!"
A woman pushes her chair away from the table and towards a phone on a nearby desk. Five quickly takes a swing at her cutting her arm off. While still invisible you decided to turn her brain matter into liquid better her die quickly than slowly bleed out with a chance of survival. From the opposite side of the table, you see a man start to stand up to head towards Five but before he does so you throw your knives at him and land one through his eye socket into his brain and the other in his heart. Transporting yourself over to him you twist both knives in a circular motion ensuring lasting damage and no chance of survival. Revealing yourself you pull both knives out causing blood to splatter on your face and clothing. The board looks at you in shock and you turn to Five with a sadistic smile on your face and ask,
"What? You thought you could have all the fun without me?"
"Never, darling." Five replies, a twisted smile appearing on his own face
The two of you turn to look at the living members of the board for a moment but within seconds start jumping around the room taking board members out. Blood and carnage covered yourselves and the room as corpses were littered around the place. With the rest of the members taken out, you went to stand behind AJ while Five stood on the table in front of him. As you looked up at Five, ax in hand, and covered in blood, with a chaotic fire in his eyes you could not help how attracted you were to him at this moment. As Five towered over him, AJ questioned,
"She sent you, didn't she?"
"Does it really matter now?" Five replied
"Whatever she offered you, I will double it, triple it," AJ begged
"I'm not doing this for money." Five exclaimed as he lifted the ax to swing at AJ
Before the ax could connect with the fish tank of a head AJ had the lady from earlier tackled Five to the ground.
"Get off me!" Five yelled
"You're gonna pay for that vending machine, little mister." The lady said as she grappled with him
With the sudden action, you were pulled out of your thoughts and say AJ start to run away but also Five on the ground. As much as you wanted to help your boyfriend you knew getting AJ was better and ran after him. Having him in your sights you used your powers to make his legs denser, slowing him down followed by throwing knives into his thigh and shoulder.
Back on the board room Five continued to grapple with the lady.
"I don't wanna hurt you, all right?" Five tried to explain
The lady punches him in the face before angrily replying,
"Hurt me? Oh, I ain't afraid of you, you little pus ball."
Five was tired of dealing with the woman though and punched her back knocking her out cold. Getting up he takes a look around the room and sees that neither you nor AJ was in the room.
"Shit." He says aloud
Grabbing a rugby-looking paddle off the wall he flashed out of the room and flashes in front of AJ. As he does, he notices how slowly AJ is moving, as if his legs were made of concrete. Looking up he sees you leaning against a nearby wall nonchalantly eating a piece of cake. Looking over to him you say,
"Oh, hey babe. I saved him for ya."
You had never called him babe before and it was not helping him deal with the intense feeling of screaming going on within him and yet it also did. With that one word, he could feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins. He felt...powerful. Cocking his head to the side he looked at AJ maniacally as he held the paddle in his hand.
"Surely we can come to some form of agreement that benefits both parties. Quid pro quo? What do you say?" AJ suggested
"Why not? Here's your quid." Five says hitting him in the side
"Here's your pro." Five adds catching him with the paddle in the knee
"No! No! Please don't!"Â
"Here's your quo." Five stated firmly
Swinging hard he smashes the glass head that contained AJ in it leaving water and glass everywhere. Five takes a few deep breaths as he stares at the flopping fish on the floor. As he does so you see two girls in polka dresses walk out and see the scene before turning back into the dance hall. Placing your slice of cake down you summon all your knives back before heading over to Five and placing a hand on his arm grabbing his attention.
"We need to get out of here."
Five looks around at the scene and grabs a nearby plastic bag before picking AJ up off the ground and placing him in it. Five looks back to you and states,
"We need water."
You look at the air within the bag Five was holding and in a matter of seconds, you converted a portion of it into water. Five knew that was something you could do and it was something you had been able to do for a long time nevertheless, it still amazed him. Holding the bag with AJ in one hand he took yours in the other and held it tightly. Five spatial jumped the two of you out of the building and towards the shrub he had stashed the pre-programmed briefcase in. Handing AJ to you, he grabbed the briefcase and set it up so that you could get back to 1963 Dallas. Taking your hand once more you could feel the briefcase start to disturb the energy around you and with one more flash the two of you were back in the alleyway in Dallas covered in blood. The two of you looked around and everything seemed to be the right time and place. As you stood there in the alleyway the briefcase started to make noise and you could feel its molecules moving faster signifying that it was heating up. Grabbing it out of Five's hand you threw it on the other side of the alley and watch as seconds later it blew up.Â
"What the fuck." You exclaimed
"Programmed to self-destruct after its purpose was done...clever." Five commented
You turn towards your boyfriend who seemed to be utterly unphased by the whole thing and say,
"I hate your former employer. I hope I never have to interact with them."
"Well, I don't want you to and because of that, I need you to go inside. She could be here any minute and I don't know what she could pull nor do I want you around her." Five explains "Also, it would make me feel better if you were inside. Okay?"
You nod your head at him and quickly make your way inside the back door to the building but don't head up the stairs to Elliott's apartment. Instead, you stay close to the door to be able to get to Five quickly incase he needed you. Five crossed his arms as he turned away from the door and soon enough he heard the recognizable sound of heels clicking towards him.
"Well?" The voice asked
Five held to bag for her to take from him without looking back at her.
"AJ!" The handler exclaimed taking the bag
Five turned around and looked at her with an emotionless expression.Â
"You know, you're really starting to fill out those tight little shorts of yours." The handler commented, "I'm sure your girlfriend is happy."
Five was always so disgusted when she talked about you. He could deal with comments made towards him, they meant nothing to him, but comments about you filled him with repulsion and rage. He kept quiet as he narrowed his eyes at her.
"Why so quiet? Thought you'd be buzzing after this morning's slaughter." She questions
Five looked off for a second. This killing, he didn't do it just because, he did it because he wanted to protect his family, you, and the world you all existed in.
"All this killing..." Five pauses "I'm done with it."
"What?" The handler questions "Am I supposed to take that seriously?"
"What I did today, I did for the people I love. I did it to save the world." Five elaborates emotionally
"Please. Spare me your little assassin with the heart of gold routine, will you?" The handler replies before picking up a briefcase from the ground "Here. Per our agreement, this will get you and your siblings back to 2019."
Five takes the briefcase from her and as he does she adds,
"You have 90 minutes."
Panic rushes through Five and as the handler starts to walk away he yells,
"You said nothing about a time limit."
"Actually, you have 89 minutes and 30 seconds. Better hurry."
"This is impossible, okay? My siblings are scattered across the city." Five exclaims as he approaches her
"Nothing's impossible. You proved that this morning when you killed the board."
"I need more time."
"Any more time, and people will start asking questions. The sooner you get home and out of this time period, the better off we'll both be, so, ticktock, ticktock." The handler finishes
Angrily, Five spatial jumps away from the handler and into the back staircase where you were. You look at him and see something is wrong but before you can say anything he grabs your wrist and spatial jumps the two of you up to the apartment. As the two of you arrive you see from the balcony three words written on the floor in blood. Ăga FĂśr Ăga. Eye for an eye? Before you can process that whole mess you hear Diego threaten from the kitchen,
"You killed one of ours, Olga, now we're coming after you. You will be dead by nightfall."
Five and you head towards the kitchen and see Diego on the phone with Luther nearby. As Five takes off his jacket and vest he explains,
"Hey. It's Ăga FĂśr Ăga, idiots. Swedish for an eye for an eye. It means the Swedes killed Elliott."
"Wrong number. Have a lovely day." Diego says in a chipper tone before hanging up the phone
Your eyes go wide as the situation before you triggers a strong feeling of deja vu within you, almost instantaneously followed by a strong visceral memory of your friends comes to mind. Quietly you whispered to yourself,
"Du sang pour du sang."
Five turns to look at you and asks,
"Why did you say blood for blood in french?"
"I'd love to explain but we do NOT have the time for it right now," you state
"Uh, you guys have some blood on you. A lot of blood, actually. What did you do?" Luther questions
Instead of looking to Five for answers, Diego comes over to you and starts looking you over for injuries.
"Are you okay? This is a lot of blood." He asks concerned
"I've said this many times before in my life but it's not my blood and that's all that matters." You respond to him
He looks at you confused as you walk away towards Five in the bathroom. Using your powers you specifically remove the molecules of blood on both of your clothes and skin before placing them all in the sink and washing them down. As both of you fix yourself up in the bathroom Five starts to explain,Â
"So I found a way home."
"What? How?" Luther questions
"All the details are irrelevant, but...I made a deal to get back to our timeline."
"What about doomsday?" Diego asks
"Won't happen."
"And the 2019 apocalypse?" Luther inquires
Five was getting frustrated with his siblings. Their questions pestered him, especially because he killed a bunch of people for the opportunity to get everyone home safely and their time was running out fast.
"Everything will be back to normal. All right? Now, no more questions. We gotta go. We have to find the others, alright?"
Five walks out of the bathroom with you following behind him.Â
"Yeah," Luther says
"Luther, you get Allison. Diego, Klaus. (Y/N) and I will get Vanya. Now, we meet back in the arrival alley in 77 minutes." Five details before heading over to a table and saying "Here. I've synchronized these watches."
Picking the watches up from the table he pockets one before handing the other two to each of his brothers.
"Okay, let's do this." Luther states
With Luther's confirmation, Five turns away from them and grabs your hand about to flash the two of you away but is halted when Diego questions,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. You show up with my sister completely drenched in blood and expect us to believe everything's gonna go back to normal if we go home now?"
You nodded your head a little bit at Diego's statement. If the handler had already tricked Five with a briefcase that has a 20-minute timer how could you know that this wasn't a trick again.
"Elliott just got killed because of us." Five exclaims gesturing to the body hidden underneath a sheet
You nodded your head once more because that was also a good point but you still did agree with what Diego had said.
"What about Dad? What about JFK?" Diego questions
Nevermind.
"Diego, we have a chance to go home and make things right. We are taking it." Five demands
This was wasting time, precious time that could be used to get back to their lives but also save the world.
"I have to say goodbye to Lila." Diego states
"Lila doesn't give a shit about you, Diego! She never did. She's one of them. She's a member of the Commission!" Five yells
"No way. Not possible."
Now you were starting to get frustrated with Diego. How could Diego be so stupid, so blinded by her? If she worked for the commission then she did not matter. She was bad from the start and deserved no sympathy for using your brother in the way she did.Â
"She was just using you to get to me. You're the Oswald of this story, my friend. The goddamned patsy." Five frustratedly explains
"You don't know what you're talk-"Â Diego to starts to retort
Five spatial jumps over to right in front of Diego and firmly states to him,
"If you don't do this, I'll kill you myself. Got it?"
"No. I don't take orders from you." Diego states back
That was it. You were done with the back and forth of bullshit as it was taking away time from the opportunity to get home. Pulling one of your knives out you quickly approached Diego and held it at him accusingly.
"Diego Hargreeves, this might be our only chance to get out of this god damn timeline and back home. And as your little sister if you care for my well-being as much as you say you do then you will not seek out this walking bag of lies and will go and get Klaus so we can all go home." You demand before exclaiming angrily "If you don't...I swear on our mother that I will take every one of your knives and will use them to dissect you limb by limb and organ by organ before using my powers to blow EACH ONE UP INDIVIDUALLY!"
The three boys looked on at you in horror.Â
"Holy shit..." Luther quietly commented
"Do I make myself clear?" You ask
Diego quickly nodded his head and you pulled the knife away from them and back in its holding place on you. Turning around you walk away from him and extend your hand out to Five. Five takes it and the two of you flash away to outside the building. Looking around you and Five find a car that had the keys just placed on the driver's seat. Sharing a knowing look the two of you use your powers to get into the car before putting the keys in and speeding off to get Vanya. As you travel on the dirt roads leading to the farm Vanya was living on you started to head around a curve. As you did so you and Five looked over and saw Vanya in the car passing by. Vanya stopped her car as Five stopped yours. You both quickly rush out of the car and over towards Vanya who had gotten out of hers.
"What are you doing here?" Vanya questioned confused
"Looking for you. We're going back to 2019." Five states quickly
"What are you talking about?" Vanya asksÂ
Five pulls the watch out of his pocket and looks at the seconds counting down before replying,
"Look, I don't really have time to explain right now, but I found a way home. All right? We have 30 minutes to leave."
Five starts to walk away thinking Vanya would follow but instead she exclaims,
"What about my friends? I can't just leave them here."
"Vanya, you don't have a choice in this, all right? Doomsday will happen if you don't come with me." Five explains turning around to face her again
"Okay, then I'm bringing them with me." Vanya states
"They belong in this timeline." Five replies
"Says who? Sissy deserves a life where she doesn't have to pretend to be someone she's not. And Harlan There's a name for what he has. We can get him the help he needs." Vanya yells angrily
"Vanya." You called softly, trying to ease the tension
For a second, your calmness seems to work as Vanya adds,
"Look, a mom and her eight-year-old son are not gonna screw up the timeline, Five. They're insignificant."
Five looks on at Vanya and you can see behind the frustration and panic there was sadness in his eyes. He doesn't want to argue with his sibling and he never would purposely try to hurt his sibling in the way Vanya might be feeling, but they were running out of time to get home and if they didn't the whole world could end. Even in his panic, Five attempted to speak more calmly,
"No one is insignificant. I'm sorry, all right? But we can't take that risk. They have to stay. Come on."
"Why do you get to decide? You're the reason we're stuck here in the first place." Vanya rebukes, her anger returning
"If I did nothing, we would all be dead right now, thanks to you!" Five yells back
"They're coming with me." Vanya demands
Five could not deal with this stubbornness anymore. It was the same stubbornness that caused the last apocalypse because Vanya refused to see other people's perspectives and played the victim card time and time again. He loved his sister, that much was true, but he was not going to deal with another apocalypse just because Vanya wanted to bring some people she had known for a month along. Taking a step forward towards her Five stands his ground and firmly commands,
"Vanya, do not test me right now."
Vanya takes a step towards him in the same manner and in a low voice replies back,
"That's funny. 'Cause I was just about to say the same thing."
You can see the anger build between them but you can feel their power build as well. The disturbance they created crashed over you like a powerful wave during a storm. You tried to do what you always did to help ease the disturbance by breathing it in and then pushing it out. But this was different. Some time travel or explosions didn't do as much harm as they used to but Vanya's powers were like Kryptonite. And with the addition of Five revving up his powers, it was a bit more than you had been exposed to in a while. For a second you were able to manage pretty well but as they grew stronger it got harder to breathe. It was as if your throat was closing up on you and without being able to breathe the feeling of the disturbance got worse. You dropped to your knees as you gasped for air and when Five heard you struggling he immediately stopped his battle with Vanya to rush over to you. Helping you to stand, you took in deep breaths of air, and as Vanya powered down you started to feel better.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Five apologized as he pulled you into a hug
"I'm fine," you reply between breaths and you hold him back
From behind the two of you, you can hear Vanya say,
"Fine."
"Fine, what?" Five asks
Five pulls out of the hug to look at Vanya but keeps one of his arms tightly around you worried that if he lets go you'll collapse again.
"I'll be there, but I need to say goodbye first." Vanya answers
"Oh, Vanya, we don't have the time." Five explains
"Well, it's either that, or I'm not coming." Vanya states
Five looks towards you. There was no use fighting with Vanya on this and honestly, if he was in her place he'd want to say goodbye too. He never got the chance to say goodbye when he left. Looking back towards Vanya he nods his head and commands,
"The alley. 27 minutes. Don't be late."
With that Vanya goes and gets in her car while you and Five get in yours. Not letting go of you, Five walks you. to the car and helps you in it even as you protested saying you were feeling better. Turning the car back on Five whips it around and heads back towards the alley. When the two of you arrive you park the car and immediately jump out rushing towards the alley. As you arrive Five quickly opens up a dumpster and pulls out the briefcase he stashed there. Running from out of the apartment you see Luther approach you two and questions upset,
"Hey. Where is everyone?"
"You're the first." Five replies to him
"What?" Luther exclaims
"Yeah." You reply
As the three of you stare down the alleyway you can see Klaus approaching, which was surprising in and of itself but what was more surprising to you was that Ben was standing within him. As Klaus' body approached it exclaims,
"Hey! Hey! We made it!"
"What do you mean, we?" Five asks
The three of you then watch as Klaus contorts his body in odd ways and while Five and Luther were generally confined you were trying to process all that you were seeing. What looked like odd contortions to the other two was really Klaus trying to push Ben out of his body. Was Klaus possessed? You then watched as Klaus projectile vomited an extreme amount on the ground and along with it was Ben, who was now also covered in vomit. How did that work being a ghost? You didn't know and it wasn't important enough to ask at this moment. Klaus collapses to the ground and you look directly at Ben to say,
"I don't know what you did to cause that to happen, but it was gross as hell."
Luther, unknowing of Ben being there looks at Klaus. How is it that out of all his siblings Klaus was the one to arrive on time. An anger wells in him as he shouts,
"I can't believe it. I mean, you're here."
"We've got eight minutes left." Five states panicked as he looks at the watch
"I just had the strangest dream," Klaus mumbles from the groundÂ
"Where are the others!" Five exclaims as he continues to look down the alley
You continue to wait there and minute after minute the time ticks down until there were only sixty seconds left.
"We've got a minute left!" Luther yells angrily as he slams his hand down on the dumpster denting it
"What's going on, guys? Are we going somewhere?" Klaus asks from the ground
You watch as your boyfriend paces back and forth angrily ranting,
"It was a simple task. It was a simple task! All we had to do was be here. Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein."
"I can't believe this." Luther comments
"It was handed to us on a silver platter." Five continues
This was bad. Allison, Diego, and Vanya had yet to show up and you couldn't leave with only five of you here. You shook your head as disappointment and anger flooded over you. This family would be the death of you.
"Could you just moan a little softer? My head is killing me." Klaus complains as he starts to sit up
"Listen to me, you useless puke bag, we just blew our chance to save the world!" Five yells
As he finishes saying that you can hear a sound coming from the briefcase but can also feel it as well. Five's head whips over to it and sees that the briefcase was about to go.Â
"God damn it." Five states
"Shit," Luther adds
Five had no choice but to get rid of the briefcase. Picking it up off the ground he throws it into the air and far from any of you. You all watch as it disappears in a flash of blue and your chance of getting home had been lost to time. Five shakes his head and turns away from the group heading back towards Elliott's apartment.
"We were that close. That close." He states
You stared up at the spot where the briefcase had flashed and as the residual feeling of the disturbance, it caused disappeared faded you wondered if your chances of ever getting home had too.
 ________________________________
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#Umbrella Academy#The Umbrella Academy#five#number five#five headcanons#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves#tua five headcanons#tua five#tua five hargreeves#tua#tua fanfic#UA#the umbrella academy five
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A rant about Vanya Hargreeves
(Note: this is decidedly anti-Vanya. If that bothers you, I suggest you click off right now, you have been warned. That said, I'm always up for some friendly debate if you see anything that Iâve said is incorrect, but please donât respond with bullshit comments like âLuther made herâ as itâs an embarrassing display of the pure immaturity that comes from Vanya stans.)
So Iâve been putting off this rant for a long time, mainly because Iâve been busy with school and other stuff. Also, Iâve been getting my kicks ranting to my sister about the pure idiocy that is Vanya Hargreeves and Vanya stans. However, my sister now says that she is done listening to my hour-long rage-fueled rants. Let me tell you that I cried, because a staple in my morning routine has become eating my toast and spilling tea with my younger sister. However, when presented with the facts, for example, that she has never watched the show and has no opinions on the character nor on the cataclysmic stupidity of the fandom for idolizing this psychopathic monster, I realized that perhaps it was the proper time for me to make this, and pray that I can move on to a life of happiness after expelling my hatred of these unintelligent people and arguments.
Also, Iâm extremely high on caffeine and procrastinating my essays. So please bear with me as I take you on the journey of my three AM coffee induced rants. I understand that there is a very slim chance that I will change anybody's mind about Vanya, as many people choose to be ignorant about the problematic and hypocritical behavior of their favorite character. Society is relentless in its enablement of the truly moronic behaviors, and nothing has made me lose more faith in the world than the actual arguments I have seen from the half-witted, mindless Vanya stans. Iâm not saying that everyone who stans Vanya is an idiot, but if someone else were to say it I would not disagree. Unfortunately, that is simply the conclusion that all evidence leads to. This introduction has gotten away from me a bit, so without further ado, here is every single bullshit argument that I have seen Vanya stans argue debunked.
Vanyaâs Childhood.            Â
First of all, I would like to point out that I have the utmost sympathy for all of the Hargreeves children for having to grow up with an abusive father. At no point in this rant will I disvalue Vanyaâs trauma. As much as I truly hate her character, invalidating traumatic experiences and PTSD is a fucking dick move that I will leave to other parts of the fandom (*cough* anti-Luthers *cough*).
Now that thatâs out of the way, let me dig deep into her psychopathic tendencies and unflinching lack of remorse for her actions that clearly has been present since adolescence. First, let us address her powers. I see people everywhere saying that having her powers bound was abusive and horrible, that Allison could have rumored her to have control instead, that she didnât mean to do any of the things she did, etc. However, please consider that Reginald didnât have a choice. Or rather I should say that his choices were limited and he made the best possible one given the circumstances. Iâm not condoning his actions at all, I will be the first to denounce his actions and character. However, we need to consider all of the facts; not only did she physically attack him, but she also murdered several innocent people because she didnât like oatmeal. This was to the point that Reginald designed Grace for the sole purpose of having someone who could control Vanya. Vanya was clearly displaying apathetic tendencies towards murder at a young age and cares nothing for the people she killed as long as she got what she wanted. She murdered people over oatmeal, and people stay defending her?
I was shocked when I saw this scene and realized that people were still stanning Vanya, because do you know what this points to people? A pattern. Vanya is a power-hungry maniac. This is shown many times in the show. She knows that sheâs the most powerful person in the room and she shamelessly abuses that privilege. When she is a child and she realizes that sheâs more powerful then Reginald can handle, what does she do? She explodes the glasses and hurts him with her powers. When she is fed a type of food that she doesnât like and knows she can use her powers to get whatever she wants, what does she do? She murders her nannies for the sole purpose of getting her way. When she is an adult and realizes that she doesnât have to listen to Allison, what does she do? Slits her throat and attempts to literally murder her, then runs away. When she doesnât want to be held captive she destroys their house. When her siblings try to stop her from hurting people she burns the world to the ground. Do you see the pattern?
Furthermore, let us discuss The Umbrella Academy. Also known as Vanya once again showing her true colors as a spoiled brat. We see in both her autobiography and in the flashback scene where she destroyed the house that she felt excluded. Listen, I am a sibling, I have felt excluded before and Iâm sure that my sisters have as well. But somehow none of us have burned our house to the ground. I know, youâre probably sitting at your keyboard shaking your head in awe at out restraint. I get that people sympathize with her loneliness throughout childhood, and I can see why. But honestly, I didnât see anything too terrible in the flashback scene. What? Diego was pissed at her for barging into his room and Allison didnât want Vanya to see her macking on Luther? Call me crazy but that just seems like siblings being siblings (aside from the making out with your other siblings part, thatâs weird). Yes, the one about her being left out from the family portrait was kind of rough, but no reason to attempt to murder your whole family, kill your mom and father figure, and destroy your house.Â
She clearly has a being left out complex that began in adolescence and carried through adulthood. Itâs okay when youâre a kid and youâre whining that Jimmy and Tommy wonât let you play tag with them, but it crosses a line when you act that way as a grown ass woman. Her book was also crossing a gigantic, fat red line that says in all caps YOUâRE TAKING THIS TOO FAR. What, Ben didnât want to share his toys so in return you write a passive-aggressive novel about how much your siblings suck and left you out of their super secret club? Letâs say that Klaus also published a book talking about all of his traumatic experiences, and at the center of it was perfect Vanya who was normal and never experienced a single hardship. Different story, right? We donât seem to talk about the fact that being in the Umbrella Academy seemed to suck. Klaus was forced into a mausoleum and made to live his worst nightmare, Ben was made to kill people using his powers, Luther was transformed into an ape-man without his consent and exiled to the moon, Five ended up stranded in the apocalypse for 45 years, and that's just when was shown on the screen. Iâm positive that there were tons of other horrible things that the academy experienced, so where does Vanya get off pretending that she invented tragedy all because her precious feewings were hurt?Â
Locking Vanya UpÂ
Listen. Listen. I said that I wasnât going to invalidate Vanyaâs trauma, and I plan to stick to that. Luther locking Vanya in that cage was fucked up. He shouldnât have done that. However, in order to properly make my case we need to analyze everything, so allow me to play devilâs advocate for a moment. Vanya slit Allisonâs throat. In what universe is that even a little bit acceptable? Not only was Allison her sister, but she was just trying to help. She says repeatedly that she loves Vanya, that she wants to help her, that sheâs trying to rescue her from her abusive boyfriend, and once again we see Vanya turn to violence when she doesnât get her way. I see tons of people saying that Allison had it coming because she rumored Vanya into thinking she was ordinary, but consider this: youâre an asshole. Allison was a child, she didnât realize that what she was doing was wrong. She even admitted it to Vanya and said that she was confused/just remembered it. Guilty people don't admit their sins. Allison was confused and hurt, and Vanya tried to kill her.Â
Additionally, letâs refer to Leonard. Vanya killed him. Now, Iâm not particularly broken up over his death, the bastard sort of had it coming. However, this is yet another example of Vanya overreacting with violence when sheâs upset. Her murdering Leonard wasnât self-defense, as he wasnât attacking her, nor had he ever physically hurt her. While Iâm aware that emotional abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse, and that Vanya was definitely in an emotionally abusive relationship with Leonard, it was still murder. There is no way that it would have held up in court, and I get that people can get trapped in abusive relationships, but if you want to leave a toxic relationship, the answer is not murder. It is never okay to kill someone unless it is in direct defense of your life. or someone elseâs. Vanya killed Leonard and showed absolutely no remorse. In fact, the only time she ever showed any sort of guilt over what she did was to Allison, and she got over that in about 30 minutes.
I have gotten a bit off track, so going back to Luther locking Vanya up, he shouldnât have done it. That much is clear, you should never subject someone to their worst fear. I could go on about Luther and his motivations, but Iâll save that for another rant. All Iâm trying to say is that he had a good motive, it's still not okay but I feel that the entire fandom already holds Luther accountable for that, whereas no one holds Vanya accountable for her actions. Additionally, consider the other timeline. In the time where Five came from, Luther didnât lock Vanya up. Why would he? We can see from Fiveâs flashback to finding his family dead that Allisonâs throat wasnât slit, therefore because Five was the one who pointed them in the direction of Harold Jenkins, and he wasnât in the original timeline, there is only one conclusion to draw based on the evidence. In the original timeline, no one went after Vanya. Therefore, Leonard was able to convince her to go destroy Hargreeves mansion, and sometime in the process, Luther ripped his eye out. This is supported by Five saying that while he has assumed that the mansion fell with the apocalypse, it has actually happened before that. Vanya then, after murdering all of her siblings, went on to destroy the world, Leonard, and herself in the process. This shows that Luther was actually somewhat justified in his actions, Vanya has already proven that she is capable of killing and has no qualms about doing so. She has killed billions of people in multiple timelines, and Vanya stans still want to act like none of it was her fault? Okay.
The Guy In The Car
This is a pretty specific sub-category, but I felt like I had to bring it up because it is so fucking incredible the things that Vanya stans are willing to look past. Vanya literally murdered someone because he honked at her. Even if you can justify everything else she did, how can you justify that? Is road rage seriously worth killing over? People are so quick to say âYAS badass Vanya! A QWEEN!â but was Luther a badass when he grabbed Klaus by his fucking neck? No, so why is Vanya a badass when she nearly kills her sister and actually murders innocent people? The fact of the matter is, Vanya shows a continuous pattern of killing without remorse. She has not only killed many nannies, Leonard, her siblings (in the alternate timeline) and the whole fucking world (twice), but she murdered the man in the car for absolutely nothing. He could have had a family, he could have had children, but did Vanya think of that? Probably not, because sheâs a psychopath.
Stop and take a good long look at any of these gifs and try to tell me she wasnât in control. Try and tell me she isnât a murderer.
The Apocalypse
Finally. The part of this rant that Iâve been the most excited to get to. This is where I get the most idiotic comments about Vanya. I may have to write a whole other section addressing the most stupid comments I have gotten. But nonetheless, everyone seems to be unanimously in agreement that it wasnât Vanyaâs fault, and this is where I run into some issues. Vanya isnât a child, sheâs a grown ass woman. Correct me if Iâm wrong, but when youâre almost 30 years old, its time to take responsibility for your actions. Some of yâallâs mamas didnât raise you right and it shows. When I was a kid, it didnât matter if my little sister told me to steal the candy bar, I still stole the candy bar. It was my fault, I got punished. No one held a gun to Vanyaâs head and forced her to burn the world to the ground. If you rewatch the final scene, itâs pretty clear that sheâs in control of her actions. The only times I saw her lose control was when she was defending Leonard from the muggers and when she was ranting about her siblings. During the apocalypse? All I saw was pure vindictive pleasure. She was pissed off, so she would have everyone die.Â
I would like to point out, because I haven't seen anyone else talking about this, that Vanya was straight up ready to kill Luther, Klaus, Five, and Diego. At the end, when they all were trying to stop her (from destroying the world) she had them suspended in air and was clearly hurting them. You could see them in pain, their lives were literally draining away. It was pretty clear that they would have died if Allison hadnât stopped her. And through it all, she didnât care. She didnât care that they would die, she didnât care that the world would burn. The bottom line is that Vanya Hargreeves is a psychotic murderer, and the fandom needs to stop treating her like a goddess.
In conclusion
To summarize, Vanya displays the characteristics of a spoiled toddler. All she does is lash out when she doesnât get her way and destroy the world and other people. She has killed countless people, and the fact that people keep saying it wasnât her fault is such a classic example of the worldâs stupidity. If you say that she wasnât responsible, or that Luther made her do it, then congratulations, you are just as mature as Vanya is and that is not a compliment. No one can make you do anything. You always have choices, Vanya chose to destroy the world and that is something that she needs to be held accountable for.Â
I can kind of understand the appeal to Vanya, I suppose. She could come across relatable because of her lonely childhood. Or maybe shes just amassed such a large following because people love Ellen Page (which I get). But the fact remains that I have heard so many idiotic Vanya supporters preaching her psycho gospel and completely ignoring every shitty thing sheâs done. So next time I reply to someoneâs moronic, unintelligent, not thought through comment, and they try and start beef with me, Iâll just link this rant. Iâve gotten tired of repeating myself. So hey, if you said something to me on twitter about how Vanya isnât responsible for all the people she killed in cold blood, and I commented with this link, then congrats! You are such a moronic mouthpiece that I felt the need to spend hours writing this essay detailing every single reason as to why your opinion is invalid. Save us both some time here and just stop talking. Either that or turn on your notifications and fight me irl, I wonât hesitate to cleanse the bloodline of your stupidity. Sucks to suck man, donât let the door hit you on the way to hell.Â
If you finished this, congratulations. Grammarly tells me that this takes an average of 12 minutes to read so thank you for sticking with me throughout this 2,500-word monster of a rant. Youâre a real one. And if you still stan Vanya, then no worries. Believe it or not, Iâm not against stanning Vanya. The problem is that most Vanya stans love her on the grounds of believing that sheâs innocent, and the fact of the matter is that sheâs not. Itâs okay to like whoever you want to like, but acknowledge that your fave is problematic instead of being an idiot and naively trying to convince me of her innocence. The facts are on my side here, people. Youâre not going to win this argument.Â
#anti vanya hargreeves#anti vanya#not anti luther#not anti luther hargreeves#vanya stans are idiots#tua#the umbrella academy#rant#the umbrella academy fandom#ben hargreeves#Allison Hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#not anti anyone but Vanya#cuz shes a bitch#i get that ellen page is hot but c'mon#idk man#im gonna go get drunk now peace out
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