#random tumblr flashbacks don't mind me

[naomiknight-17]

I used to have a huuuge crush on this guy here on Tumblr, way back in the early MLP:FIM days

One day, diet culture came up on the dash and I made a comment saying something like "Ugh, I fucking hate when people try to tell me how to eat or be like 'oh no this food is so fattening! Never eat this!' Like. I did not ask."

And then said dude came into my ask box and started lecturing me on why corn is the most evil food on earth and I should listen when people say not to eat it???

Bro. I JUST said I hate when people do this shit. Why are you doing this

I got over my crush not too long after that, I think

Why do people think "I hate when people do X!" Is some kind of challenge that somehow translates to "please do X to me I'm sure it will be different when you do it"

🙃

[sage-nebula]

Just wanna say, I love your tags sm on my post!!! I find it so fun to pull comparisons with both zinnia and volo because they have like. A similar character skeleton. Or whatever that means. They're so different yet their relation to their respective deity definitely feels, as u said, 2 sides of the same coin.

And 100% agree with the last comment- I only started thinking about their similarities when I realized how much of the fandom dislikes zinnia and how much of the fandom likes volo qq

Ahh thank you so much!! I'm so sorry I'm responding to this so late, I am just awful about actually sitting down at a computer lately unless it's for work . . . and my work network doesn't allow me to access tumblr because I'm employed by haters 😔 but I'm glad you appreciated the tags! I remember I was actually a bit hesitant about leaving them because I didn't know if they would be Too Much or not, so I'm glad that wasn't the case, haha.

And yeah, Zinnia and Volo definitely foil each other in many ways. What's really interesting about it as well is that, unlike Volo, Zinnia was actually rebuffed by her deity to her face, when it came to a destiny she was literally raised for, which we know since her flashbacks in her Evolutions episode show that she was training to catch Rayquaza as part of her Lorekeeper destiny since she was a young child:

She could arguably be a little older in that second flashback, but not by much. So Zinnia was raised to be the Lorekeeper since her childhood. Her life's purpose was not only know and be able to pass on the history of her people, but also to be able to mega evolve Rayquaza and, together with it, destroy the meteor that would threaten the planet. She knew that doing this would likely result in her death (indicated at multiple points in her dialogue), but she was so devoted to doing it that she went through it anyway. And she managed part of it; she did manage to summon Rayquaza.

And then . . . Rayquaza rejected her. To her face. In favor of some random (by comparison) kid.

By all accounts, Zinnia had every right to be furious. Her deity has rejected her in favor of some rando when Zinnia devoted her entire life (and was willing to sacrifice her life) to it. But is she furious? Does she take it out on May? No. We know that she's lowkey suicidal (some of her dialogue suggests she's almost hoping she'll die in the effort to stop the meteor so that she can be reunited with the original Aster in the afterlife), but she still takes it in stride because the most important thing is that the meteor is stopped. So she helps the rando as much as she can, and then leaves to figure out what she can do with this life she didn't expect to have.

Then, on the opposite end, there's Volo. Volo, as far as we know, was never raised with any special destiny in mind. To be fair, we really don't know anything about Volo's backstory except that it's heavily implied he's a descendant of the Celestica people. But that's it. We're never told that he had a destiny to fulfill alongside Arceus. Instead, Volo himself decided that he was going to summon and meet Arceus, and Volo himself decided he was going to summon and meet Arceus wholly for his own reasons, and Volo himself never actually came face to face with Arceus, and took that as a rejection, and then tried to murder the random kid Arceus chose over it, as if it's that random kid's fault.

It really is the complete opposite in every way. Zinnia had every reason to believe that Rayquaza would agree to work with her, yet when it refused, she took it in stride and did what she could to help. Volo had no reason to believe that Arceus would want to work with him, and when it refused, he absolutely lost his shit and tried to murder a child. There's a reason why Zinnia got closure by forming a sync pair with Rayquaza in Pokemon Masters and why I'm pretty damn sure Volo is not going to get the same treatment with Arceus, lmao.

And don't get me wrong, I love both characters. Personally, I hope Volo never gets better. Don't get me wrong, if his motivation is supposed to be that he wants to make a world where his people and culture were never lost and where Hisui was never colonized, then I do think that's a sympathetic motivation, and certainly I came away from PLA thinking that Kamado was more despicable than Volo, mostly because the game treated Kamado like a sympathetic, misunderstood man despite his blatant bigotry toward the DP clans. But Volo is at his best when he is absolutely off his shits and I want him to stay that way. Like the fact that he actually tried to murder the player is iconic. Love that energy for him. Keep it coming.

But that doesn't change the fact that, yeah, he is off his shits. And any sympathetic motivations we can give him are headcanon because Game Freak didn't feel the need to elaborate. And more importantly (and to the point of your second paragraph), yeah, it really gets me that people are constantly vilifying Zinnia (including downright calling her a villain) for trying to save two worlds and ultimately bowing out gracefully when her destiny was stolen from her, yet fawn all over Volo or Lusamine. I'm sure the fact that Zinnia is a darker skinned woman (as opposed to the the blonde hair and pale skin of the others) has nothing to do with it. [/heavy sarcasm]

Anyway, this is a very long (and late) reply. I'm a very verbose person, haha. But thanks again, especially for giving me the chance to talk more about this; I appreciate it! 💜

[miam0re]

Can I ask why did you deleted the Ninjago smutty oneshots. I'm mostly asking for Lloyd's oneshots

I'm getting war flashbacks oh my god

Ahem, anon, who somehow still remembers me from my initial posts what 3 years ago...there are a few reasons why I deleted those

1. I got out of the Ninjago fandom. I had my fun simping over bricks of yellow but I got out of it once the original writers of the show left and the show basically started to suck.

2. It felt...kinda weird that I was writing smut about lego characters....also I wrote those when I was like 15 so I guess it made it even more weird how I wrote them as a minor? Also those stories were so cringe please I can not bear to look at them again

3. Those one shots were a common link between my Tumblr account and my (now deleted)Wattpad account and after a point I really didn't want to be connected on both platforms

4. Oh yeah also there was one random person who was like "omg Ninjago the kids show?!? You're writing smut for that?!?!?" When they saw my work and I was like 'lmao delete'

And yes that's about it from me! Don't expect me to write for Ninjago like yeah...that's a part of my past and there it shall remain. Anon I hope I was able to bring peace to your curious mind 👍

Lots of love <3

[effielumiere]

I posted 1,149 times in 2022

That's 688 more posts than 2021!

93 posts created (8%)

1,056 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@everythingfox

@ursulaismymiddlename

@ardentlyoon

@sopejinsunflower

@jung-koook

I tagged 142 of my posts in 2022

#bts - 88 posts

#park jimin - 52 posts

#min yoongi - 43 posts

#suga - 42 posts

#jimin - 38 posts

#jung hoseok - 37 posts

#jeon jungkook - 35 posts

#kim namjoon - 34 posts

#jungkook - 34 posts

#kim taehyung - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#i sent tumblr a request asking about the tip button in southeast asia

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 2 - Blanket Kick (Embarrassed)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates AU , Age Gap and Drama.

Warning(s): Cursing. Underage reader in flashbacks (Yoongi is aware, momentarily forgot when he tried to kiss her. TRIED. SPOILER). The lyrics are not in order like they are in the song, and the lyrics aren't just Yoongi's parts, they also kinda reflect Yoongi's thoughts during those moments. UNEDITED!

Legend:

"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean OR Vice Versa, depending on the POV"

"Korean words"

>Lyrics&lt;

Word count: 3.6k including lyrics.

A/N: Thank you @/doolsetbangtan on twitter for translating the lyrics and explaining every verse and phase of every song by BTS❤️ Please go check out her wordpress blog, she's really cool and her work helped me a lot with writing this series.

Disclaimer: Just a quick reminder to y'all of course that, of course I don't own BTS. And that this story is just an idea of mine, the boys being geniuses they are wrote the songs with a different idea on mind, this is just my wishful thinking on writing lol.

If you want to be added to the taglist of this series, please ask here. or If you want to be part of the permanent taglist and get notified every time I post a new story. And if you want to read more, check out my Park Jimin story!

Don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback on what you think about this story :)

Can be read as a stand-alone, but this is part of a series: Read Part One here.

&lt; one | masterlist | three >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2014

Flight number DL6310 has been cancelled. Passengers of this flight please approach the nearest information desk.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me!" I exclaimed at the board making a few people around glare at me. I walked towards the information desk where they rescheduled my flight to the following week if weather conditions at home got better in the next two days. Once that was settled, I hurriedly ran out of the airport with my hand carry and backpack, and hailed a cab back to my hotel to book a room for another two days, instead of going back to my cousin's house. As I laid on the bed, relishing the cold air of the air conditioner when I decided to take a shower and change clothes before taking an afternoon cat nap. Rummaging through my backpack for something to wear when my book fell out of my bag. Picking it up, I examine the cover and flip the pages with my thumb, stopping at a page I bookmarked with a random receipt that had scribbles. Reading what I wrote.

'Suga. Rapper guy from South Korea. Laundromat. Santa Monica Pier. 3pm tomorrow. '

I stare at the words I wrote for a good second before I finally remember what it was about and who was Suga. I got up leaving the book on the bed as I went to the bathroom to shower, music playing loudly on my phone that I carried with me.

As I was lathering up my body with soap, with shampoo in my eyes when my brain decided to wake up and reminded me that I met Suga yesterday, and that '3pm tomorrow' is 3pm. Today.

"That cannot be today!" I scoff as I reach for my phone and see that it was already 2:45pm making me gasp dropping the phone on the sink as I duck my head back under the shower head trying to hurriedly finish rinsing, "You fucking irresponsible idiot!" I yell, scolding myself as I rubbed shampoo off of my stinging eyes.

Getting on a cab, I give the driver directions telling him to floor it as I silently pray I don't start smelling like sweat by the time i got to my destination fanning myself with the map of California that I had first bought when I arrived earlier in the summer. We were near the pier when the traffic started, the street looked like a damned parking lot. I looked outside the window wondering if I could make it if I either walk fast or run.

"Does this always happen?" I asked exasperatedly at the driver, staring to feel down that I might not see Suga or meet his friends.

"It gets worse to be honest with you," the old man says "The pier is just over there you see?" he points a shaky finger at the ferris wheel "You could just run to get there or walk, I just hope your date doesn't mind if you start smelling like the ocean and sweat combined," he kindly smiles.

"It's really a date, but I hope he doesn't mind the scent," I smile as I start to pull out a few notes and handed it to him "Keep the change, sir. Take care!"

See the full post

66 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#4

The Companion 3

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy (hopefully lol)

Summary: A year after all their world tour was cancelled with the announcement of the pandemic, Jimin goes through a roller coaster of emotions and he can barely his emotions and he's trying so hard to stay happy. Namjoon and Jin suggested to get a puppy when they got drunk but Joon thought a human companion sounded funny to his drunken brain, not knowing that Jimin took his word seriously. When he finally finds the one who's going to be his human emotion companion, he wonders if she's up for it? And most importantly, he wonders how things would play out with him being Park Jimin and her being... well, a fan... an ARMY to be precise.

Warning(s): Fluff. Bit of pandemic talk. Sentences in italics are Korean words translated to English. UNEDITED!

Word count: 2k

A/N: We're back to Y/N's pov. I was supposed to post this on Sunday but I fell asleep too early, my sleep cycle is fcked because of insomnia.

Fun fact: this was supposed to be a hybrid!Jimin fanfic. 👀.... I can turn it into that we still got time i guess.. lemme know what you think, comment down beloowww. Search author_effie on the birdapp.

Sorry it's pretty short. Enjoyyyy

&lt; twopointfive | masterlist | threepointfive >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stare at the empty lobby of Hybe waiting as per the instruction of Jimin. It's been two weeks since the trip to the grocery and the last time I saw Jimin, and within that time Jimin and I settled for phone calls and when he had the time, video calls usually before midnight. But little did he know I slept past 3am due to the what seemed to be never ending jetlag.

"Ms. Y/N?" I heard a voice call my name, looking up I see the receptionist bowing. I bow back as I greet her "Good morning,"

"This way please," she says as she leads me to a door guarded by security. She reaches over to the guard who hands her an ID with a black lanyard that she hands to me. It had my picture from my resume and my name in English under the Korean characters, along with my job title, Executive Secretary. If they only knew...

Before entering the elevator, she teaches me how to use the biometrics system to clock in whenever I arrive and to enter the code I'll receive from Jimin. The ride up the elevator was silent and quick, as soon as we arrived at our designated floor she leads me towards another door that had another security guard waiting outside.

"She's Park Jimin's personal assistant," she informs them as they nod and open the door for me. I say my thanks and walk in as quietly as I can. The room was filled thumping, squeaking and loud music playing on the speakers of an English song I didn't recognize, but the voices I definitely recognized. Eyes gazing around the large, somewhat dark room that looked a basketball court inside the building I find seven men singing and dancing to a new song. Their manager walks up to me and greets me with a smile, hand extended to shake my hand.

See the full post

76 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#3

Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 3 - Miss Right in her Converse High

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates AU, Age Gap and Drama.

Chapter Warning(s): Cursing. Underage reader in flashbacks (Yoongi is aware). The lyrics are not in order like they are in the song, and the lyrics aren't just Yoongi's parts, they can also reflect Yoongi's thoughts or it just fits with the moment. UNEDITED!

Chapter Legend:

"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean"

"Korean words"

>Lyrics&lt;

Word count: 4.8k including lyrics.

A/N: Again, thank you @/doolsetbangtan on twitter for translating the lyrics and explaining every verse and phase of every song by BTS❤️ Please go check out her wordpress blog, she's really cool and her work helped me a lot with writing this series. Grab your tissues... maybe? Also, I let this just flow on it's own... so, confuse hajima? lol Enjoy! Oh btw, it was my first day of work last Friday, so the writing is gonna be a bit slow😅 Sorry, but I'll try my best💜 Next update might be for The Companion, I haven't updated it in almost 3 weeks me finks. Imma stop talking, enjoooyyyy!

Disclaimer: Just a quick reminder that, of course I don't own BTS. And that this story is just an idea of mine, the boys being geniuses they are wrote the songs with a different idea on mind, this is just my wishful thinking on writing lol.

If you want to be added to the taglist of this series, please ask here. or If you want to be part of the permanent taglist and get notified every time I post a new story. And if you want to read more, check out my Park Jimin story!

Don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback on what you think about this story :)

Can be read as a stand-alone, but this is part of a series:

&lt; two | masterlist | four >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present - 2021

"Namjoon-ah,"

"Yes, hyung?"

"Would you bail me out of jail?"

Namjoon stares at me as if I've lost my mind, he's not wrong. It's been years since I've lost my mind, I just keep growing more and more insane.

"What makes you say that hyung?"

>Converse converse i really hate a converse&lt;

"She still wears those god damned shoes," I grunt as I close the car door too hard making Jungkook who was sitting in the back with Hobi whining and complaining about how I shut the door to hard. Namjoon chuckles as he gently closes the passenger door and walks up next to me, "You've been saying that for years, hyung. Fuck, you even wrote a great track out of it."

"I don't know if she's playing dumb with me or if she's just fucking clueless that it's about her," I huff as I watch her run towards an ice cream truck, "It's literally me telling her to wear something aside from those damn shoes, she'd look in something else,"

>On your gorgeous appearance, black sheer tights and stilettos will be good

Yeah, they’ll be too good to be true

But, what will suit you even better are Jordan numbers

Together with your body, it turns me on even more&lt;

"So you did say in the song," Namjoon agrees "Maybe she thinks its just another song of ours,"

See the full post

99 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#2

Girl of My Dreams Masterlist

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst (squint in tiny), Friends to Lovers, Soulmates AU, Age Gap and Drama.

Summary: Every one has always wondered why Yoongi was good with words especially when it comes to the topic of love. It wasn't a question of why, but who. Who made him think of love that way? Who was his muse? Who was the muse that always made Yoongi smile like he won the damn lottery? Who made him laugh even in situations where he had to be serious? If you ask him, he'll just smile and blush, but if you ask the other members they would smile at Yoongi then look at you and start giggling like gossiping high schoolers.

Warnings: Underage reader (first few chapters). Lyrics in the chapters are not in order. Mentioned lyrics are not just Yoongi's parts. Warnings will be mentioned per chapter.

Legend:

"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean OR Vice Versa, depending on the POV"

"Korean words"

>Lyrics&lt;

Disclaimer: Quick reminder to y'all of course that, of course I don't own BTS. And that this story is just an idea of mine, the boys being geniuses they are wrote the songs with a different idea on mind, this is just my wishful thinking on writing lol. Not all songs will be included just the ones that will tug on your heartstrings😏😇

*thank you doolsetbangtan and other blogs that I will mention per chapter that translated and explained all BTS songs*

Girl of My Dreams

Blanket Kick (Embarrassed)

Miss Right in her Converse High

I NEED U / RUN

DNA / Pied Piper

FAKE LOVE

Trivia: Seesaw

Pluto and the Truth Untold

Make it Right

Boy with Luv / HOME

Savage Love / Telepathy

My Universe

Girl of My Dreams - Finale

TAGLIST (OPEN, COMMENT ON THIS MASTERLIST IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED) [NAMES IN BOLD PLEASE CHECK YOUR VISIBILITY SETTINGS, CREATE ANOTHER NEW BLOG UNDER YOUR CURRENT ACCOUNT OR CHECK FAQs] :

@belladaises @bbl32 @mizz-kraziii @silentkei @myselfxbangtan @shesaysweirdthings @kookiemyfeels @wackytobaccy @afiaaaa19 @jayjay57 @heyyyadventure @sopejinsunflower

PERMANENT TAGLIST (OPEN, COMMENT HERE IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED) [NAMES IN BOLD PLEASE CHECK YOUR VISIBILITY SETTINGS, CREATE ANOTHER NEW BLOG UNDER YOUR CURRENT ACCOUNT OR CHECK FAQs] :

@lovergirl1316 @buttvi @borahae-reads @lemonadecandycandy @tattoomom11 @misshale21 @damn-u-min-yoongi

102 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 1

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates (?). Age gap.

Summary: Every one has always wondered why Yoongi was good with words especially when it comes to the topic of love. It wasn't a question of why, but who. Who made him think of love that way? Who was his muse? Who was the muse that always made Yoongi smile like he won the damn lottery? Who made him laugh even in situations where he had to be serious? If you ask him, he'll just smile and blush, but if you ask the other members they would smile at Yoongi then look at you and start giggling like gossiping high schoolers.

Warning(s): Sentences in italics are English words translated to Korean (that sounded confusing but I said what I said). Cursing. Underage reader at one point (Yoongi didn't know and tried to ask her out)... Spoiler lol. Mentions of MC being tipsy. A bit of angst at the end. UNEDITED!

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: The summary was really the idea or the question that came to mind, though we all know that Yoongi is undeniably a genius in any topic you throw at him, his idea of love is always what gets me. And his part in Girl of My Dreams sparked my thoughts - he's a hopeless romantic. Other might think he's very serious and cold but I think he's very romantic and sweet, even at times clingy. For now here's my idea on how it would be if he had a muse - which one day, of course, will happen when he gets married to his s/o and have kids they would be the lucky ones because they're his muses in life.

Enjoy this one!!!

P.S: this is my 2nd fanfic for BTS lol and I became an Army during the Dynamite era (though I knew them since I saw For You and Idol). sorry if some of the facts are a bit off. Do feel free to correct me but please remember that this is a fanfic, some stuff are meant to be different!! 😅💜

Please don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback. Please don't be a silent reader🥺! My ask box is also open as well as my permanent taglist if you wanna get tagged for future stories. There are probably more parts after this, just ask if you wanna be added to the taglist ;)

aaand... Happy, Happy Birthday to the best of the best, our one and only Min Yoongi (lil meow meow). We love you. Stay healthy💜 Borahaeeeeee

&lt; masterlist | next >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n?" I call to her and she hums in question looking up from her book.

"Do you think I would sound cool if I sing?" ask her twirling my ballpen in my fingers, I stopped myself from murdering the button to click it open and close repeatedly out of being nervous.

Her pouty lips curl inwards to stop herself from laughing and she shut her eyes as she removes her glasses.

"Be honest, please," I beg with a smile already knowing the answer but I wanted to hear her voice she's been quiet ever since she sat on the couch in my studio and hid behind the pages of her book, a romance novel. All I could hear when I put my headphones away were the quiet humming of the air conditioner and humidifier, and her flipping pages on her book.

"I mean, I know I don't sound like Jin hyung or Jimin, or Taehyung or even Jungkook," I explained "Even Namjoon and Hoseok sound good when they're singing," she snort laughs and starts giggling hiding her face in between the book, "I can carry a tune, I'm a rapper, I can sing just not as amazing as the vocal line!" I exclaim and she guffawed "Ya~! I'm serious!" I tease her though she knows I'm not serious.

See the full post

111 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[foxymoxynoona]

You definitely don't sound like your complaining. I think you're allowed to atleast express whatever difficulties you may be facing. Giving you that space is the least we can do for you.

And I understand the want to put that pressure on yourself to write and update regularly, but thats also why I wanted you to know that it's completely okay if you take a tiny break for yourself. You literally do this while having a job and kids, and I can't imagine what kind of superpower you have to balance all of these, and still make time to write for random strangers on the internet. I get it that when you love something you do it even when it's not expected of you, it's just amazing to see you do it still.

And you still managed to update tmwc and I'm so excited because I loooove long chapters. The amended flashback chapter was my favourite and i have read it like more than 10 times now. So thanks again!!

I hope you spend great holiday times with your family! And you can choose not to answer it but I was so curious to know if you dress up for Halloween and if yes what is it gonna be this year?

-😸

Ok GOOD haha. I don't mind people asking for updates probably because it happens so infrequently tbh, I really just meant that there has been more INTEREST in TMWC and so I got a little spooked about whether the next chapter would be good enough. Usually I TRY not to think about my writing like that, and just write what I write take it or leave it, because perfectionism is the death of creativity.

You're so sweet, you and everyone who keeps reminding me to relax about updates. It's funny that my self pressure comes through even over tumblr. I'm awful about this IRL, I make all sorts of arbitrary rules and requirements for myself.

I'm really glad you enjoyed those Amended flashback chapters! I debated so ong about whether to do it that way, I thought it might be boring o too much as a reader.

For Halloween I used to dress up so big, but last year I was having surgery and didn't get to play... I'm not sure what I'll go as this year yet actually!! My kids are Mario and Yoshi (last year they were Mario and Luigi, do you see a trend here.)

Ok I'll share this funny anecdote: my younger one for WEEKS said he wanted to go as a black bean. A single black bean. It's so absurd, I was really excited about it, btu then he saw a Yoshi costume and fell in love. He is still requesting I go as a single black bean. Alas, i will not be 😅 but kids are so funny

[rosieuv]

flashbacks/pathetic rant that you don't care about but I have this urge to post anyway

I remember back in year 10 someone in my year (I don't remember who but they were quite popular if that helps you imagine the kind of person) asked if I had a vlog. Pretty random question considering I don't typically talk to people like them and never mentioned it in conversation, but me being the naiive idiot I was, I told them that I had a Spacehey and gave them my username. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't so open back then online as I used it like a diary. Someone with common sense (ie modern day me) wouldn't make that public, let alone give it to someone I somewhat knew in real life.

Please, for the love of god, DON'T MAKE THAT CRAP PUBLIC! Now people I sorta knew (didn't know all of their names but they weren't complete strangers to me) were reading my thoughts and commenting on them in real life. What made it worse is that I wrote something offensive about someone that I would consider a friend, and I didn't realise at the time because 15 year old me was stupid as hell. I know it's been almost a year since then but I really fucked things up. I eventually made it friends only and there's no point in trying as I'm not accepting friend requests nor using that website anymore as it just reminds me of the shit I said. It's a shame though as that website was pretty cool: it was basically myspace but modern and had a nice little community (and it ran perfectly on my iphone 5c!).

God did I seriously traumatise myself with my own stupidity? ...Nah...probably just thinking too deep into it.

The blogging in me never left though, hence why this exists. Since late March of this year, I've kept a diary that I update almost every day (on the days like today where I missed the previous day, I force my brain to remember it). The diffrence is that I keep that stuff private, which is good as it means I can ramble on about god knows what, but now I'm constantly worried that it's going to be used againsed me as blackmail in the future as uhhhhh...it contains...stuff...anyway the interesting thing about that is that I would only comment about a particular thing in that day rather than talking about everything. I don't know how my memory was that good as I can't even remember what I did yesterday, let alone write an entire paragraph on how I stole a cookie from my school.

I don't know why but I have a habit of having these urges to post whatever's on my mind online to get rid of it. This story did teach me though, is that I should shut the hell up and not tell a single soul in real life that I have a tumblr blog. If I was in that situation today, I would ask them where they got that info from and then ignore them; ya know, what inteligent people do in that situation. I just really hope my parents don't find out about my online presence. I've kept it a secret for almost 4 years but I'm so scared now of people judging me that I never wanted to tell them. Mum's never even heard me swear before, how do I know she won't spent 40 minuites of my time talking to me about personal stuff? People's morals never seem to align with mine and I'm scared that I'll so something really bad and not realise what I've done until it's too late, just like what I did to the friend I mentioned earlier, who I really wanted to get to know more as they were really cool but I fucked things up and they deserve to never speak to me again. The annoying thing with people is that I can't read minds like others so I can't tell what exactly they think of me. It's easiest just not to talk to anyone and be by myself as at least I know myself 100%. The internet is no exeption to this too as all it takes is 1 blog post for me to potentially be:

a creep

a criminal

a bigot

someone who others think is not doing too well mentally

someone who others think is insane

and I wouldn't even know until after I pressed the post button. It's scary as I want to be somewhat well known on the internet but I know that I'll end up causing my own downfall or even worse: knowingly turn into either of those 5 and horrify my past self (aka my current self).

I don't know why I even typed this out, you're going to read this and either not care, or think there's something wrong with me (when there isn't). I just needed this out of my system but if you know me in real life and you've read all this: please, for the love of god, don't do anything about it.

[kyaruun]

Since when did the graphics suck they're literally so cute

This one is literally embedded in my mind like I ASSOCIATE this with you

It isssss literally so cute but your other graphics are also so cute wthhhhhhh

Buuut I can do some tutorials on things you wanna know that I can do? I've been wanting to make a tutorial for a while now actually

. Me too like I don't have a schedule and while I write on a "rotation", I spend so muxh time and energy on irl things that I don't get much time to write. I literally haven't gotten through my reqs from last August. Rip my 800 event from. Before then??? Cannot even keep track it's been like a year

My follow count is only that high bcs I wrote for haikyuu (in 2020 its peak) then I joined the genshin bus kinda early (?) Which is still huge and I wrote misc fics for whatever else, and it was also my edit blog??? And now I'm here shitposting so I got followers from like lots of places

The way yours is in the 700s and a loooot older than mine pls I'm also in the 700s in nazukisser.... insanity

Well personally i love your leo so I think that it should happen because you deserve it. And writing a series.... yes.... smaus are so fun I have domicile on nazukisser for reference if you want it and my fav smau ever is club stupid by tumblr user kodzuvii highly recommend I just become a redhead kita's cousin and tendou's best friend number 1 miracle girl and down bad for suna rintarou whenever I read it.

WAAAA I can't wait to see your revamp !!! Thank you.. I always try to have some sort of match (character/color/style) all throughout!! If you need help/opinions/etc lmk!!!

Right like what happened . We were thriving. Then we boomed for a second and died. Like I see the nazuna x reader tag and ME AND KAZE ARE THE ONLY ONES like bruh? And my fics have been flopping tho it seems everyone's have been flopping too

Yeah the only thing keeping me tied down here is the server..... it's like my lifetime... come back we miss you

I MISS NURI TOO... bee has arknights now....I miss.... and runanananna....... ate swanee's writing.... SHE DOES THAT TO US TOO not that I hate it but she drops like a couple of lines in snippets and dips and I'm like *SCREEEECHES*

If you come back to my server we welcome you back we miss you :(((

I can only be grateful that some of us are left tho.... i7 is so dead and e7 LMFAO??? I was legit the only one it was so darned sad

THAT'S THE ONLY ONE I LIKE!! i love watching vids about journaling and that kind of thing and they make the cutest decorated polaroids so i wanted to do something like that but very cutesy themed,, spring made me think of picnics so gingham <3 i actually played around with a few similar concepts like polaroid + random stickers and i planned to make banners with that but uuuu there are so many characters,, can't keep my focus for too long. i think they came out cute but it's probably too late to use them </3

i always wonder about what do people use to edit their pics because i was born a ps girlie and i still don't know how to use ps properly oops making your themes look nice and cohesive,, those cute pinned etc etc people who edit icons and make them look super aesthetic

i think i never tried to promote my blog because followers don't feel like an integral part of the process for me. i just write what comes to mind and share it with the world: if people like it i'm absolutely delighted and if they don't well,, at the end of the day most of my writing has been fun for me ^^ like come on i've written things that are silly and self indulgent and they worked fine and i'm here like. wow

i have considered writing for more series but the thing is the media i like has a fandom of like. 2.5 people on the good days. so it really doesn't make too much sense to even try that <.< genshin fandom scares tf out of me so i'll keep my extra fluffy albedo thoughts to myself. the bazillion "childe being a dumbass in love" posts. kazuha writing poetry. oops. getting flashbacks to the time i almost made a hypmic blog but i stopped myself at the last second out of embarrassment

i'm torn on whether a) people just aren't interested in that kind of content anymore (no way) or b) people DO read our stuff, they simply don't interact. not even a like. the migration of people from other social media into tumblr,, like sorry but i've been here since 2016? and it gets worst for writers every day </3

i have an immense amount of cute enstars thoughts a day and i feel like if i can't share them i will combust (my best friend has to deal with me every day),, it's mostly cute romantic stuff with my favs and my ocs, for obv reasons so i'm like uuuu should i even tell this to someone it's just embarrassing. like only other enstarries could understand why i keep rotating this bunch of dorks around my brain and getting the biggest serotonin boost out of it ueeee

i kind of miss being in a server with other people. i've been feeling very lonely lately due to uni so i think that'd be good for my mental health but at the same time,, i don't want to go back to talking once in a blue moon you know? ooo to be an anxious mess every day of your life.... like i get nervous so easily and i know i'll make someone uncomfortable so i simply keep quiet or i don't know how to join conversations because my social skills are -1. i'm a bit of a mess TT

as a bonus for reading all of this, wips of some of the banners/wallpapers? i was working on the last time. rei was meant to be a light pink/purple ish kind of shade but i don't mind how these came out either ^^ i need to print the cgs as polaroids again

[arwamachine]

Hi there, Arwa! Hope you’re having a wonderful day 🌻

I’d like to ask you questions 3 & 4 for Swallow the Night. I’m pretty new to the Johnlock fandom, but this story had such an impact on me, it made me feel so much for the characters; easily one of my favorites! It was such an emotional journey that took me everywhere from me crying copiously (especially when I got to the TAB chapter) to me jumping around (quite literally) when I got to the end.

Also, question 20 because I’m already a big fan of so many authors and I never know how to phrase my comments or how to show my support and love for your work. (Boy, are y’all so talented and I’m perfectly happy leaving the boys in your hands because yo understand the characters better that Moftiss can, imo.) So, is it okay to contact the author directly or is it better to just leave feedback on ao3?

Cheers! 🌸

Oh goodness thank you so much!! I am so thrilled that you enjoyed that fic so much!!

3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?

AAAAAH this is so haaaaard! This fic was so fun to write, and I feel like every scene is my favorite! 😭 I'll try to narrow it down to two.. I really like ch. 6 (the TAB hallucination chapter); writing more Victorian-ish speech was a fun challenge, and I feel like that chapter effectively conveys emotion. I also really like ch 13 (John's life flashing before his eyes, kinda); this was a risk, to do a weird flashback-filled chapter RIGHT in the middle of the climax of the fic, and I wasn't sure how folks would react. Luckily, folks were willing to go along with me!

Honorable mention to ch 9, where Sherlock helps John remember ;)

4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

Funnily enough (because you asked about comments as well), there was one flashback in chapter 13 that I ended up re-writing because of reactions to the fic as it was posting! In the flashback, John and Mary are laying in bed being awkwardly not in love, and John asks Mary if she was planning to shoot Sherlock at Leinster Gardens. I cut it because Mary came off as very cold and bitchy, and based on the comments I was getting, readers did not need ANY more convincing that John ought to leave her. In its place, I wrote John and Mary driving home from the tarmac and tried my best to soften her up, show that she is a woman who understands that her marriage is failing and there is little she can do to save it.

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

I have no problem answering this again, especially in the context of your question! I 100% mean it when any comment/feedback makes me happy, and I thiiiiink I speak for a lot of writers as well when I say that we are just as happy to receive an all-caps text-wall of gibberish as we are a lengthy comment (as we are a simple "loved it!"). I love it all: random emojis, squees, extra kudos, favorite quotes/paragraphs, emotional reactions, things the fic/chapter made folks think about, etc. I even love comments that simply consist of a disembodied scream (honestly, I LOVE screams. I love them. They feed me.).

(omg, and I love comments that mention tiny details too. For instance, in Storm, when Sherlock bought John rhubarb jam because he knew John preferred and a few folks mentioned that in the comments...that made me SO HAPPY! In long chapters where a lot of things happen, it's hard to know if the little things hit.)

I think I just love comments... And I know I'm not alone in that! ;)

For the best way to leave feedback, this probably varies from author to author. I don't mind folks reaching out to me on Tumblr (obviously!), but some authors aren't as active on here. Comments on AO3 are always a good bet!

Thank you thank you thank you so much for the ask!!

[justxaxstrayxkid]

Ranking every outfit Nora has worn

I've rated her human names and I've ranked her vessel names. Now it is time to rank all of her outfits 10 to 1. Why am I doing this? Because I'm a sucker for pretty clothes and babygirl is a fashion icon. These are just my opinions obviously so don't take them seriously. Though I am being dead serious when I say Mizuchi invented the fashion industry. What I want people to take away from this post is that we, as a society, need to respect Mizuchi's drip. No pun intended hehe

10. Childhood Kimono

No sense calling it the childhood kimono when she's always gonna be a child but idk what else to call this. I put this fit last because it's quite basic. There's not much to talk about here. I don't have any particular feelings towards it either. I do think the pink obi is cute. Mainly cuz pink is my favorite color. Also is it just me or does the kimono look way too big on her?

9. Childhood Kimono Enhanced ver.

This is the same exact fit as the last one and it only appeared in the one-shot manga bout Rabo and Yato but I want to rank it separately because of her accessory. She's just too cute with that little bow in her hair! Don't mind me fangirling over that bow like it's a national treasure. The sandals are nice new touch too.

8. Pink Kimono

This one is only shown in anime during the flashback scene where Yato massacred the ma clan. I love this kimono because it's in my favorite shade of pink. There isn't much to say about it though. It's pretty basic so I put in this spot

7. Volume 8 Kimono

This fit appeared on the cover of volume 8 of the manga. I have to admit, this fit is kinda crazy. Like the grape (??) socks, the random checkerboard pattern, the green hiyoku, the flower pattern, the flower in her hair. It all seems very random. But I actually think it goes together well! A hot mess can sometimes turn out beautiful. I like the way she looks with a flower in her hair. Mizuchi with hair accessories equals world domination. And why tf does that ayakashi doggie have a paper crane in its mouth? That's more random than the outfit lmao.

6. Fruit bowl Kimono

This one only appeared in a colored page of the manga. Can't remember what chapter or volume it was in exactly but I think it was in beginning. This kimono is very beautiful. The pattern on it reminds me of fruit bowls lol. Babygirl rlly has the best fashion sense ever. You can't change my mind on that. And she's wearing a hair accessory here! Rejoice!

5. Boysenberry Kimono

I think the color is boysenberry but I’m not sure. My eyesight isn’t that good. So this fit is from a Kami To Enishi card. The game is discontinued but I just couldn’t not add this fit in. It’s so pretty! The color of the kimono matches her eyes which is my favorite aspect of the outfit. I think the pattern on it is supposed to be temari balls. Or maybe it's supposed to be beach balls. Of course we can’t forget to mention the bow! Tbh I don’t think it matches with the rest of the fit. But hey, it matches better than the whole volume 8 ensemble. I still like the bow and I’m glad she’s wearing it!

4. Capybara Fit

First of all, how the heck do you spell capybara? I’ve seen it spelled in 5 different ways. Second of all, I LOVE THIS FIT MORE THAN MY FUTURE CHILDREN! Seriously it’s so cute! She rocked the whole world when she put this on. I screeched when I first read the chapter this was in. That's the sheer power of this outfit.

3. Yurei Fit

Next is babygirl's classic outfit, the yurei outfit! This fit is so iconic I had to put it in the top three. I have a lot to say about it. In a way, this fit is part of the reason why I got into Noragami. Like I'm an avid horror fan and I especially love any media that has to do with yurei. Yurei are Japanese ghosts for those of you who don't know. I saw a gif of Mizuchi here on tumblr and her character design caught my eye. I thought Noragami was going to be in the horror genre because of this fit. If she wasn't wearing this fit, I probably wouldn't have become interested in Noragami at all. Thank you to the yurei fit for getting me into this amazing series. I love her personal touches to it. Like the way she wears her hitaikakushi slanted, her big obi, her gauntlets, and her hiyoku. Her hiyoku had this lil flower pattern on it in the first few chapters. That was super adorable. It's a shame she never wears it again. Yurei are usually depicted just wearing a simple white kimono and with long hair. But babygirl has her own personal touches and she has a bob cut. She is rlly out here being a trendsetter for dead people in Japan. A round of applause for this fit.

2. Flower print Kimono

Excuse the poor quality pic. You've probably figured out by now that I have a thing for flower patterns lol. That's exactly the reason why this is my second favorite outfit of hers. It's one of her more simple fits. But I think it's to die for! Pun fully intended ;) If I remember correctly, in the past, she and baby Yato stole this from someone they killed. Sorry but I find that hilarious. R.i.p to whoever this kimono belonged to. You may have been killed but you didn't die in vain because a rlly cute girl has your kimono now. I wonder if babygirl would ever pull this out of her closet and wear it again. She may not even have it anymore since the flashbacks where she wore this were like centuries before Noragami takes place. This kimono might've already become tasty grub for moths :(

1. School uniform Fit

Of course, the school uniform is first. This fit literally invented the fashion industry! No one can tell me otherwise. Words can't fathom how cute babygirl looks in this. As a school girl who's been to multiple schools with uniforms, I think I'm qualified to say that Mizuchi looks better than anyone else in a school uniform. It's not just how she looks either but also the fact that Hiyori gave it to her. That really warms my heart. This fit did so much for the world. Like I've said before, it will go down in history as one of the best things to happen in fiction.

[galacticlamps]

10, 18?

I'm answering 18 first so I can put 10 under a read more - I don't have a very interesting story to tell for that one but I tried to be at least somewhat thorough, on the off chance that there's ever someone reading it struggling to ID themself, I guess.

💜 what fictional characters do you headcanon as asexual?

More than I can think of to list right now, and certainly more than exist in fandoms online (flashback to classes spent talking about different queer readings of obscure characters no one in their right minds actually has opinions about). To address a few of the popular tumblr examples that come to mind though - Crowley & Aziraphale from Good Omens do strike me as ace so thoroughly I can’t really imagine anything that could persuade me otherwise. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Enjolras from Les Mis is a character I love & see headcanoned as ace all the time, but I just can’t make sense of that particular interpretation myself (in the book anyway, there are so many adaptations I haven’t seen).

And of course, I can’t leave out the ones I mainly talk about on this blog - I headcanoned the Doctor as ace ever since I first saw the new series, and when I went back and watched the classic series - and so far as I’ve seen in the extended universe, though that’s not too much - their characterization has held up and consistently fit with that idea (in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever come across a Time Lord I didn’t assume was ace). More surprising to me when I got into the classic series was Jamie McCrimmon, who, to tell the truth, I didn’t really want to headcanon as ace at first (as silly as it sounds, I felt like that interpretation of the Doctor was common enough that it couldn’t be projection, but if I applied it to Jamie as well, especially while shipping them, then I had to be ‘just seeing what I wanted to’) but no matter how hard I tried, I really couldn’t make a lot of his behavior make sense to me any other way, so I got over it and accepted that that was how I saw him. There are probably a lot of other characters I perceive as ace more or less by accident (making the effort to think of someone like Zoe as allo specifically doesn’t sound like something I’d do without a reason), but it’s different with characters like Jamie and the Doctors, who I can’t really help but notice ace behavior from even when I’m just watching a random episode.

🖤 what made you realize that you were asexual?

To be completely honest (and to slightly play semantics) I don’t know if I ever really did “realize” I was ace, so much as I just gradually had to come to accept that that was the best word I could use to communicate myself to other people - or even that I had to communicate myself at all, frankly, since I took it for granted at first. That does feel like a bit of a cop-out of an answer, but there was never any decisive moment for me when the clouds parted and the sun shone and everything suddenly made sense. In reality, I went through life thinking everyone in my age bracket felt pretty much the same as I did about sex and relationships - and maybe that would change one day when we were older, maybe not - but that some people (specifically the popular, social-circle-leader ones, whereas I was quiet and nerdy and only known for having good grades growing up - ie, the kind of person who no one would ever believe was cool & mature no matter how I behaved) felt a pressure to act like they were interested in those things because it made them look - or even feel for themselves - like they were more grown up. And the tricky bit is that, for a while, that’s true, isn’t it? But there comes a point where you have to learn the difference between The Most Popular Girl & Boy in 5th Grade Having to Kiss at the End-of-year Pool Party While Everyone Else Watches From Behind A Tree, and your best friends in high school confiding in you their very genuine, sometimes even potentially embarrassingly honest feelings about their relationships and their attraction to their significant others.

So for me, it wasn’t really a matter of realizing how I worked as much as it was realizing that other people didn’t work the way I thought they had, and trusting that they weren’t just pretending to for some kind of social clout - which can be a really hard distinction to make in that age bracket, where there is a lot of fake-it-til-you-make-it going on, and a lot of pressure on kids both internally & externally to act more adult. As alienating as it could be at the time, in retrospect I’m grateful that I had so many trusting and open allo friends (I was also one of those friends a lot of people went to to vent or ask advice - and I imagine that reputation was at least partly due to the fact that I never got involved in relationships myself or showed any interest in them) because as I grew to trust and understand them as people, I had to admit to myself that they weren’t all just faking it or confused about what they “should” feel vs what they did - they really were experiencing something different than how I thought of and felt attraction for people, and I don’t know how I would’ve figured that out without them!

Looking back, I can probably narrow down the time I started using the term ace to describe myself as being sometime between when I was 15 and 17, roughly, which makes sense considering that was when I was growing closer to a lot of those people, but unless I found something that specifically referenced it from that period of time - like old messages or a journal entry or something - I don’t think I could narrow it down and more specifically, because it was such a slow process of realization.

(It occurred to me halfway through typing this out that it could at some point be read by someone trying to identify and categorize their own feelings, which is tempting me to go into greater detail than I really have time to this minute, but I didn’t want to ignore this anon for too long. I’ll leave it at this for now, but if anyone ever did have more questions about my experience, anon or otherwise, I’d be happy to bore the living daylights off you with specifics.)

[paintmearainbow]

What Is Love ?

Love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare

1 YEAR AGO

For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true

People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone

..............................................................................................

"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.

" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai

FLASHBACK

"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.

"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"

Y/n couldn't stop laughing.

Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.

His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.

She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.

end of flashback

Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.

Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."

Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.

Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"

With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.

.......

It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.

The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.

She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.

The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.

There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.

Fate was not kind to y/n.

She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.

Fate had evil plans for y/n.

Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.

Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all

The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters

" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"

"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"

Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.

She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.

But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.

The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.

Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.

She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.

He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.

So, what is love ?

A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?

Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.

author's note

AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.

i should be studying but eh.

keep dreaming

ashu.

(here's a random B99 gif for no reason)

[freedom-of-fanfic]

It doesn't matter if it's reclaimed, it's still A Slur. People need it tagged for various reasons, I need fucking butterflies tagged because otherwise I have panic attacks, like 99% of people don't mind doing that, but as soon as someone says they need q/eer tagged (even though it makes much more sense and is much more widespread in both its use and its negative effects) people throw up in arms

Okay, hold up. This ask is conflating trigger tags/content warning tags with reclaiming slurs and using them as a personal label.

Triggers don’t have to be logical. If someone needs the word ‘queer’ to be tagged for because it gives them panic attacks/flashbacks/other trigger reactions - or even just because it’s an upsetting word to them - they are within their rights to ask for someone to tag it.

But ‘this word is upsetting/triggers me’ is a valid reason to ask for a tag all on its own. ‘Queer’ being Schrodinger’s Slur doesn’t ever have to come into the equation if you need it tagged for emotional/mental health reasons, and it doesn’t have to be remotely reasonable. Brains are weird and pick their hangups at seeming random sometimes.

Otoh, if you want ‘queer’ tagged or censored by someone else *because* you define it as a slur, you should probably be ready for a fight - especially if the person identifies as queer. because consider: you’re functionally telling them ‘that word is only for your oppressors to use against you. trying to take away their power to hurt you with this slur by taking it for yourself is not allowed because I - an unrelated third party - have not chosen to reclaim it myself or feel the word as a reclaimed label does not apply to me. As such, anyone whose experiences may be adjacent to mine should also not use this word in a positive way.’ It’s just invasive. And, if you’re not personally reclaiming ‘queer’, not really your business!

(On that note, I’m curious if you’d feel comfortable telling people who call themselves these other reclaimed or partially-reclaimed slurs that they can’t call themselves that/they need to tag for it/they need to censor the word in their posts because it’s a slur: Dyke. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Even Gay (which, incidentally, was the ubiquitous insult of my youth, treated as synonymous with ‘stupid’.) and this list is far from exhaustive.

I think the reason ppl are primarily going after queer as a reclaimed slur is because of a deliberate effort to ignore & erase the reclamation history of ‘queer’ - a reclamation that was so near-complete (in the US) that college classes were named ‘queer studies’ - so that a label with purposefully fuzzy edges and definition would pass out of common, unquestioned use, making it easier to determine who is ‘allowed’ to be LGBT+ and who isn’t. But that doesn’t mean everyone has to claim queer as an identity or that it hasn’t been used to hurt anyone. I just want people who accept ‘the q word is an unreclaimed slur and always has been’ narratives to think critically about where they got it from.)

The point is: identities are messy, and a lot of minority identities (and ppl in widely denigrated employments, like sex work, and/or nonmonogamous sexually active women and/or ppl misgendered as women in general, etc) have names that are or were slurs. Some people choose to reclaim and own those slurs, and telling them ‘it makes me uncomfortable so please censor your label’ is kinda shitty.

So if someone uses a word as a label that you cannot stand to see, even in the context of being reclaimed as a self-identifier/proud label, you should probably just block that person so you can’t see it anymore. You can also use blacklist functions and tumblr’s tag filtering features to help you avoid slurs being used as reclaimed labels. (And This is also where I remind people - including myself - to carefully consider what to censor with asterisks or slashes b/c doing so can put triggers past blacklist functions. and remember to tag if you do choose to censor certain words.)

[flashfrozenlove]

I posted 169 times in 2021

15 posts created (9%)

154 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 10.3 posts.

I added 29 tags in 2021

#dream smp - 10 posts

#ranboo - 4 posts

#tales from the smp - 3 posts

#dream - 2 posts

#tales from the smp spoilers - 2 posts

#incorrect dsmp quotes - 2 posts

#ranbob - 2 posts

#time traveler karl - 2 posts

#mcyt crack - 1 posts

#like - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#at least it wasn't gerita... i don't need those flashbacks yet... or ever

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Assassins creed/Dream SMP AU

This is a really random idea

The villagers are early humans, the only ones to survive cataclysmic event.

The Precursors are the users like dream, foolish, philza, techno.

Juno, Minerva, and all the other isu from the assassins creed games are dreamons, able to rewrite and mess with the precursors codes, Dream was Juno’s main victim changing his code so dramatically that it made him under Juno’s control but kept his mind clear so he was witness to all the things his body did.

God Apple-Apple of Eden

Enchanted Trident- Spear of Eden

Elytra- Shroud of Eden

Maybe Karl ends up in the Grand Temple just as Desmond’s dying and brings him back in time to the SMP, Desmond figures out about Dream and sets out to destroy Juno.

13 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 01:05:08 GMT

#4

Alligator!Loki ate Goose the cat that is what I believe

15 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 09:56:18 GMT

#3

Dream: What do you think Sapnap will do for a distraction? George: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* George: ... or they could do that.

22 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 10:18:33 GMT

#2

Incorrect (but still somehow in character DreamSMP) quotes

Dream: Favorite horror movie? Sapnap: It George: Saw Ranboo: Annabelle Techno: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

27 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 07:55:06 GMT

#1

My TFTSMP Headcannon

So I had a thought during the Stream and now I can't get it out of my head. So here we go:

Ran is also a descendant of Ranboo, he is actually Ranbob's older brother who actually managed to leave the city of Mizu. Ran's Idol is Technoblade and his mysterious "you'll see me again" comments were actually threats to King Porkius, because Ran will follow the ways of his Idol and take out the Government in any way possible, much like how his little brother Ranbob follows the ways of Dream.

99 notes • Posted 2021-03-21 03:46:39 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.