#random doodle to prove im alive

[bbaycon]

Obsessing over him ….

Imagine taking a break from a gacha game to go on another one and spend even more time on it

BUT LOOK AT MY SON ´CDLZVZFKJVBKDJSNV

[violetisderp]

OMG

YOU SEE THIS???

RIGHT HERE????

MY RANDOM HEAD CANNON, MERHEHEHEHE.

I like to think he dosnt speak, and uses sign language. It dosnt say he dose in this but STILL. AND I KNOW ITS MOST LIKELY REFERING TO THE CARTOON BUT IDC.

I am just happy about random things lol.

Also i have abit of a theory for Bobby Bearhug (Big body)

Cause it's said she has spasuims or idk how to spell it. But like, she's also not responsive and stuff and they had to fix stuff.

The words are kinda hard to read so, I'll write them here;

Subject

Bobby Bearhug: Smiling Bigger Bodies Initiative

Observations

Three hours following awakening-observations:

Her body continues to spasm Eyelids flutter. Paws twitch.

Subject doesn't seem to show any awareness of where she is. Could sensory functions be distorted, or altogether absent? We speak to her, try to get her attention by makeing sounds, but she dose not register our attempts.

The auditory nerve in the ears directly communicates sound to the auditory cortex in the brain. It appears we may have failed at wiring the connective cords and might be forced to go back under the knife to fix this. A lack of response seems to indicate the necessity of this task.

It's clear that our procedures still haven't corrected issues with vocals, ethier. Her mouth moves, as if to speak, but nothing is said. We'll need to correct these procedures with subsequent subjects if we're to potentially have these toys interact with our children.

-End-

SO. For a unknown period of time, she couldn't speak or hear, but as far as I'm aware it says nothing about physical contact. So, I'm assuming she can still FEEL, but hearing and speaking she couldn't do. (Obviously)

There abit easier to read but I'll write them out just incase;

Several hours after awakening. She tried to stand and walk to the other side of the cell but couldn't keep her balance. She looks to be searching for help. Continuing to spasm.

She's trying to scream, but she has no voice. She's silent. I'm not sure if she knows she's not making any sound.

Conclusions:

Work will need to be done to perfect the Bigger Body formula we began with Boxy. Each iteration improves on the former. However, if we're to meet Dr. Sawyer, and produce Bigger Bodies subjects that we can integrate into a factory setting, then more work will need to be done.

As it stands, Bobby will require further experimentation. If we're to create Subject 1188 according to schematics, then each of these "Smiling Critters" will prove a good testing ground for ironing out these issues.

-end-

SO. It seems they did some more tests and put her "under the knife" some more. It dosnt seem like it helps much for her movements but it's better then motionless. Now I'm not sure if they manage to fix her speaking and hearing,

Also, the little Doodle at the bottom, you can slightly see her ribs, but with CatNap you can fully see his ribcage and he is oddly skinny. But with dogday he ISNT skinny (which also funny cause he was left to hang, now i have other theorys for that but on were on about bobby.)

Ik it's a sketch BUT STILL.

Sooooooooo, from what we know from what dogday said:

"Im.. the last.. of the smiling critters" (R.I.P sad boi-)

So we know Bobby has to have died, but we don't know how, so she has to have died from SoMtHiNg. So she could have straved to death, from what poppy told us in chapter 3 (deep sleep)

Somthing about how they hid the bodies and "feasted on them."

And from what we know about Mrs. Delight, how she killed who she saw AS HER OWN SISTERS to stay alive. And so they very much can starve.

But Bobby could have also died from one of the surgerys she went under, while trying to fix her hearing or her speaking.

She had to have gone under quite abit "to fix her" and the problems she was having.

SPEAKING OF EATING A DRINKING, how do they eat and drink, they speak and there mouth stays open cause there in a plush so uhm-? And mommy long legs mouth moves but not the smiling critters, it stays open so like... how..?

Sorry about the ramble I was just having a moment

[crimsoncarcass]

Hello I logged in on 1/11/2021 by accident but here are some feelings

This is not the blog I wanted to find. This is not the one I thought I’d log into. This is not the account I hoped to remember or to write in, but my thoughts are important, my feelings are important, and recently pain soars through so much of my mind that I forget and shut down. It’s like everything leaves me, my mind, in a wisp of the wind, and the numb feeling of all those emotions of pain, hate, is all that is left with the tear thaat welled up in my eyes, that couldn’t drop for some reason. Why is it? That ever since Kuro left, I’ve stopped something inside that could still change and grow? What is it that I fucked up in myself to have a fake girlfriend, a fake romance, and fake emotions? I am lying to myself, I know, but about what? I can’t even tell. There’s nothing here for me at the age 24. There is nothing here in this whole world because I have hid myself from everyone, even myself, to the point that maybe there’s no way to open up again. To me, I have always separated, segregated, and kept them away; those people that cared and the friends and people who actually reached my heart-- even those people, are something that I try to erase from my heart every day. I try my best to open up physically, to be more present, to be more honest and to be genuine and myself, and yet, every few days when my repressed emotions surface, I find myself deleting myself, deleting the memories, deleting people, and in one way or another, distancing myself. 

Even when I look back on the good memories, I smile at it like a parent to a child, somewhere inside me, it says “We all grow up and leave some day”, and there’s a warmth behind all those words, but it sounds so cold. It sounds so cold to my soul that the tears that well up, sometimes drop down my cheek. Sometimes it makes me scream into my pillow because I can feel my skin, my extra fat on my chin wrinkle up and my nose scrunch up, and I don’t want to imagine what I look like. Sometimes I can let my voice out if I unwire all the way, sometimes, actually most of the time, I am silenced. Muted. 

Yes, that’s how I cry. Why do I write this? I don’t even know, maybe I think someone will read it one day. Maybe I think the pain I hold inside will be noticed one day, and even understood. Maybe I think someone who knows a similar pain will approach me one day -- and I won’t be so alone. Maybe I will find someone I can relate my trauma to, my despair with, someone I can truly connect with like Sophia was. Maybe all I’m looking for is a way to ask for help, someone to show up and prove that surviving was worth it, that the suffering I went through in life was something I wouldn’t regret or cry about. Maybe one day I will wake up in that dream I had in my happiest moments... Do you want to hear the dream I had? I had it one random night I stayed on call with Kuro. We slept on phone calls all the time, it made me feel safe, it made me feel like someone was actually paying attention to me, even when they weren’t. I didn’t feel abandoned, and I never thought he’d abandon me, and it was the best time of my life. Sometimes, he would be so exhausted, but we always laughed, whether it be the bad Vietnamese I practiced to tell him “Good Night” or “Thank you”, or just a random thought. I have seen happiness, and perhaps I should be blessed enough from that.

In the dream, I’m sitting on some random window with my violin in my hand. Whether or not there is an actual seat is unknown, but whether it be comfortable or uncomfortable. I looked hella cool. I had no trauma playing my violin, it was like I practiced 8 hours a day again, but from my own will. And I was doodling my own composition, I was spaced out and unfocused but i was inspired. There’s a kettle blowing in the back of the house, the kitchen, and I hear a female voice yelling in the background. It’s almost exactly like my mother, perhaps it was her too, but before my mom, out of the hallway comes another, a better and more familiar voice-- Kuro’s voice. “GIN OH MY GODD” is all I could make out of the yelling and the distant kettle stops its high pitched drone. I stop playing and turn around and yell “IM SORRY” and despite a happy undertone, I feel my face holding an “oops” expression on my face. My mom comes out from the hallway too with her high pitched yelling, she’s always like this but her voice along with Kuro’s scolds me and somehow, it’s all good. I feel a warmth in the way they scold me and at this point the dream is so fuzzy I don’t know if I had any visuals, but I remember the bright white screen in my head, and the simple warmth and relief in my chest that tomorrow will be an okay day. It was so nice, it was the best dream I’ve ever had in my life. If I died, I’d want to live in that moment forever. Even if I don’t die, I want to feel like that once in real life.  I don’t know what I felt. I don’t know if it was love. I don’t know if it was affection. I don’t know if what I felt was acceptance. I don’t know if it felt so good because I left all my trauma and depression behind, maybe I got over my exes in that moment. Maybe I --- I told Kuro so many things, near the end I had so many delusional dates I wanted to do, I told him everything I wanted to do with him...and yet, I was probably the one who broke his heart.  I wish you could tell me. What do I do now? What should I do? I know what you said, you told me to take care of myself, you told me to put myself first and to make myself happy. You told me to do all of these things and I’ve been working, working so hard. I have been doing everything you told me to, I promise. I just haven’t gotten to the brushing your teeth thing yet, I can’t do it yet, and sometimes I even think that you don’t come back because I can’t even brush my teeth by myself every night yet. But I don’t because what if ...what if I do get myself together, and you still don’t come back? How will I ever get better if I lose hope? I know you don’t want me to coin you as my life’s hope, I know you probably hated it and it weighed you down so much that when everything broke, you quickly found a way out-- and I respect everything you’ve done and do, I don’t think you’ve done a single thing wrong and even if it hurts, I know you must be in a better place by now, because that’s how you are. You never go anywhere that isn’t better. But with you gone, I can do anything I want with you in my memories can’t I, even if that means turning you into some miracle, some deity in my book that I can obsess over?  Kuro I’m not better. I’m not sure if I’m getting better at all. Sometimes I feel like my life is coming together, and then I remember it’s all going to fall apart, and it hurts and hurts so I shut it away like you did, because negating your feelings was what you were good at, and I couldn’t understand until recently I met Jessi, and she has taught me how to do it and even enjoy the process. I wish you can come and stop it, because right now you have such power over me that if you said one word I’d do anything to obey your wise words. Please, just please. I wish you’d let me forget to wait for you. I wish you reply one day, I wish one day I forget all of this. I don’t even know how anymore. I don’t know what to do with your memories Kuro. I can’t change maybe. Maybe this is really where I end at age 26. Did you know? The zodiac readings from the japanese blogs and professional fortune tellers all say that 26 for my year, is actually a Huge bad luck Year? I really think it might work. I really think that this will happen. But atleast I had you once. I fucked up Kuro. I get it now. After so much remorse and overthinking, I stopped thinking in details anymore. So now the answer is simply, I fucked the fuck up. And this is it. I’m going to die at age 26. And so far, everything is confirmed and it seems no one can really stop me anymore. I keep waiting for a sign, a message, a symbol, or an experience, that can keep me alive and going, to not kill myself at 26. But I think...so far, its not going so well.  The only person I feel sorry, and truly truly sorry for, is Vally. I don’t know how much time I have left, but I know for sure, that the time provided between Vally and I, were probably meant to be longer-- but I’m not sure if I can make it through my 26th year. I’m planning to do a phone call this weekend with her. I don’t know what I’m going to tell her, everything is such bad thoughts and bad endings, I don’t know what to say. I dont want to tell her anything that isn’t confirmed yet, but maybe its better for her to hear it early? But who can really tell her, a true companion, a true trauma-bonded victim, a true compassionate ally of yours, the most trustable person in the world, even more than Kuro at times,... that so far, it’s about 87% confirmed that I will kill myself in 2 years?

[gooeysloth]

random doodles just to prove im alive

[trickstercheebs]

The Devils first Sin

more stuff pertaining to @shinyzango‘s 2D Bendy AU after seein some more lovely artwork about consequences to fun powers :V might be a two parter~

and shush i know the titles sounds dubious, im gonna keep the devil pun thing up until it kills me.

After figuring out that his new little ability gave him a lot more chances to help Henry past being a guide on paper, Bendy seemed excited to see what lay in wait in the studio halls for them both. Henry however had some reserves...He still had no idea..how his excited friend’s powers worked..or how he even was alive to begin with. Several theories ran through his mind, bouncing off one another..Black magic seemed to be more favorable..Joey was always a showy sort of person who’d do anything to get what he wanted..But black magic seemed a bit too far even for him..at least that’s what he kept telling himself anyways.

Wandering onwards, Henry idly chatted with Bendy about old times..old cartoons and safer times in the studio. Bendy seemed more than happy to listen to Henry quietly ramble on about his old days as a animator, Henry not minding the trip down memory lane in favor of wondering what the road ahead may hide..

“ So that was how the studios got started..Joey was one heck of a negotiator, which probably got us such a good start..Compared to our first studio this place is the ritz..Heh..well without the random rogue ink creatures anyways.”

“WOW~! I never knew how it all started..It sounded like a bunch of fun Henry really..and without you guys going through all that..I wouldn’t ever be here talking with you and going on this adventure!”

Henry couldn’t help but let out a laugh...yeah this was a adventure alright..Getting trapped in his old studio and chased by sentient ink stains all night..with only a small doodle to keep him company and out of the fire..Honestly he was starting to really care for the goofy little devil, currently sitting on the papers single line staring up at him like some star struck child..Well he couldn’t blame him, it’s not every day you hear how your own existence sort of got started..

And hopefully said adventure would have a happy ending for the both of them..He had already had a few close calls but, at least with Bendy now being able to lend a hand things seemed a bit more brighter. He’d have to figure out a way to possibly bring the little Devil with him..no sense in just leaving him here when all was said and done, that was too cruel of a thought to even consider..Bendy was if not the only person here so far that hadn’t tried to take a chunk out of him, he owed the little ink spot twice already.

“ Yeah... it’s been quite the adventure huh? Glad I got you to back me up at least and help keep me from looking like some giant walking ink stain.”

“Hey! Being a big ink stain isn’t that bad, I think I do a good job of it Henry..Hehehehh~ And don’t worry yourself so much, long as you got me I’ll protect ya from all the spooks big guy!”

Henry watched as the little Devil got up to strike a heroic pose as he spoke..well he was right on some parts..When he wanted to, Bendy could be quite the big ink stain...thankfully a friendly ink stain. He didn’t like having to put the little guy through such a strange process..But Bendy seemed more than capable of handling the load...right?

The duo continued to chat away as Henry picked his way through the dark halls, side stepping the occasional ink puddle and broken floor board with ease. It almost felt like things would improve from here actually, Henry thought right as there came a creaking noise above him..Stopping and eyeing the ceiling warily he noticed several things..There were alot more drips than usual..and the ceiling was taking on a rather..bulging look.

Not bothering to explain he tried to get out of dodge and fast, unfortunately the studio as big as it had become, was about as structurally sound as a house made of cardboard and glue. The low groaning picked back up again, echoing down the hall seconds before a massive fissure gave way, unleashing a massive torrent of ink and lord knows what else to flood eagerly into the floor below and sweep away anything caught in it’s path..namely Henry. Said animator was only a few steps away, trying to find some high ground or a unlocked door..only finding nothing. Seconds before the waves would overtake him he presses the doodle to his chest and prayed he wasn’t about to die by drowning in ink of all things.

“Hang on Bendy I think we’re in for some rough going.”

“Be careful Henry!”

He let out a pained grunt as the first wave slapped into him, curling around and sweeping his footing out from under him. As he was swept away he was dimly aware of other things lurking in the surf with him, brushes of hands against legs and arms told him that he’d have problems soon if he didn’t get to some dry ground, or find another damned pump. Fighting to get back to the surface he managed to get a idea of how bad the situation was..Thankfully the ink had slowed it’s deluge..but now the entire area was nearly waist deep in ink. Coughing as some of the black nonsense got in his mouth, he realized he was once again soaked with the stuff and sighed before slowly wading onwards. Fishing the paper out of its hiding place he frowned seeing it soaked..better to check on the little guy..

“Bendy you alright? This ink isn’t going to be a problem for you is it? We might be stuck like this until I can find a pump station or something....”

Unfortunately what replied wasn’t Bendy..but a low gurgling growl nearby..Oh great, they spotted him already. Hoping Bendy would be alright being drenched a bit longer Henry lifted his axe and got to work thinning the hordes before they got too close to do damage. Trying to move onward and defend himself at the same time was going to prove treacherous. His quiet companion however had decided to lend a hand, the ink soaked paper shook a bit in Henry’s grip, as if the little Devil was asking to be let loose. After the last two times he didn’t see a reason to deny the assistance and let the paper fly free into the ink below.

It was still a bit..startling to see that massive form erupt from something like a piece of paper, Henry would never get over the idea. But he’d certainly welcome the assistance Bendys..monstrous form gave. After all it was still that goofy lil doodle in there, point proven as a massive inky hand patted Henry’s head before Bendy waded into the midst of the strange forms and began bashing away. With his back covered, Henry could now focus on clearing out a path for them both to better grounds.

How much time had passed was uncertain but, judging by the ache starting to set in from swinging his axe about it was a good chunk of time by any standard. But now at least they could proceed without interruptions, turning around he spied Bendy’s massive back still turned to him as the sounds of something being struck reached his ears. Wading a bit closer he tried to reach out for his companion.

“Bendy, I cleared us a way through, c’mon lets get goin- Whoa!”

Henry ducked out of the way as a arm swung out at him haphazardly, just missing his head by a few scant inches. Backing up some he looked up at the other questioningly.

“Watch it there lil guy you almost knocked me for a loop moving like that..c’mon stop horsing around....”

Something wasn’t right..Looking at the other carefully he saw something that made his blood run cold..That usual little twinkle of mischief..of understanding was gone from the others eye. Bendy let out a hoarse growl before trying to make a grab for Henry, proving his fears right. What had happened, he was always able to handle that form before right? He needed to get some space between the two of them..maybe even get him out of the ink. Backing away towards the path he had cleared, he dodged every swipe and punch thrown his way.

“Bendy snap out of it! What’s wrong with you? Did something happen, talk to me, it’s Henry remember?”

Bendy didn’t seem to hear, or to care really who he was now trying to rip apart. The only thing keeping Henry from finding out how hard the Devil could swing was the scant few inches between them. He could feel the ink beginning to recede at last, there were some stairs further up ahead he remembered seeing..if he can get up them he might be able to get to safety and hopefully to a safe spot.

As it turned out, Henry met the stairs a lot sooner than he anticipated, the back of one leg catching a edge and throwing him off balance for a few brief seconds. It was all the monstrous devil needed to catch his elusive prey with a open hand and slam his once friend into the wall beside them, pinning him flush against the old wood with a gasp. Bendys one hand covered most of Henrys torso, effectively keeping him pinned with surprising ease. He couldn’t help but try to struggle free in vain, letting out a soft wheeze of pain as Bendy pressed into him slowly. He could feel his ribs slowly being pushed inwards with every passing second, trying to keep himself grounded he gulped down as much air as he could to try and get through to his now attacker.

“B-Bendy..what’s wrong..? T-this isn’t like you, please Bendy..d..don’t do this.”

He had honestly hoped his words would get through to them, but this wasn’t some cheesy cartoon with happy endings..The dark reality that he might actually die here was setting in at last, he knew it wasn’t Bendy’s fault..Something told him that little Devil wouldn’t hurt him willingly..something about the ink must be the reason..He just wished he knew before this happened. Letting out a harsher keen of agony he weakly grabbed at the hand holding him hostage.

“Ghk...A-alright..guess my..a-adventure here is over huh? Sorry I couldn’t..save you..”

The hulking demon seemed to shift some at that, tossing Henry once more onto dry land and lumbering up to pin him down once more as their remaining free hand took on a sharper edge to finish the job...Henry seeing that his words would have no effect simply closed his eyes and waited for the end to come swiftly. 

“..I forgive you Bendy...it’s gonna be alright..”

If he was about to face his final curtain at the hands of his only friend here..he’d at least go out saying he didn’t hold them responsible for their actions..A sharp pain bit into his cheek...but nothing else came. Cracking open a eye after a few seconds..he saw a change had over taken the Devil standing over him..The almost manic grin had dropped into a distressed grimace as chunks of ink began rapidly breaking off of the others body..Henry felt the pressure on his chest lighten up immediately, with Bendy backing away from him as if touching the man burned him now..

Sitting up he touched his cheek lightly..finding a light cut just across his cheek had begun to bleed...Looking back up he saw that Bendy had collapsed in on himself, the hulking mass of ink breaking apart in heaving shudders..it almost looked like the little Devil was..crying?

“....Bendy? ...Bendy are you ok? Talk to me here..it’s just me, it’s Henry...”

Risking himself he scooted closer toward the shuddering form as it grew smaller and smaller, he could make out the soft choked sobs coming from the other as he reverted back to his original form at last. Henry waited a moment or two before scooping the nearly ruined piece of paper into his hands.. He could just barely make out a small form balled up in the corner shaking softly..Frowning to himself he didn’t say anything for the moment and let the poor doodle be alone to collect himself..

Getting back up to his feet once more, Henry resumed his now quiet venture into the unknown.