#ran out of energy 4 this one so its done i dont want it sitting in my wips 4ever

[transmascsunburst]

bug.,,,,,,,,.......,,,,,,,evil.............bug,,,,,,,,,

[mejomonster]

almost dying was like. god id do anything just to not puke nonstop and get a break from nausea. would do anything just to type again and watch a show and manage a conversation 

now its like. yes im grateful god im so grateful im so happy im not like that anymore and not in the er once a week. but also its like. well now i fucking miss dancing that i used to do everyday before this. or taking a walk around my block. or the energy to have a movie night with my nieces. or the energy to study a language again. like... just to do anything beyond day to day stuff. and i Know im getting ahead of myself. because like fuck i cant actually DO all of my daily life stuff yet anyway. still can barely do 1 chore a week still dizzy when i stand still cant sit up for work without hour long breaks laying down to re-build stamina for another goddamn attempt at doing computer work. still get absolutely wrecked if i try to put in the energy for a video game for an hour. a shower is still absolutely benching me for the rest of a day, im doing everything i can to avoid grocery shopping cause that is also benching me for a whole day so no work no friends no hobbies that day ahahah. still too exhausted to fucking cook and pushing myself to get up and prepare food like the basic minimum of microwaving or opening up a can cause my energy levels just screaming at me to sleep and rest and that getting up isn’t worth it. but i Gotta make myself eat, gotta make myself take my meds 2 times a day, if i wanna keep any of the health progress i made.

like. about 5 weeks ago now i had ONE good week. it wasn’t my normal energy level from before lol! but it was like 7/10 my normal energy! i had just enough energy to sit up for 4 hour bursts at work with lunch as my break, enough to dance OR play a video game or have a friend over or walk the neighborhood as the ‘exerting task’ after work without it making me useless the next day. then after that 1ish week bam back to 3/10 of normal energy levels. i thought maybe some supplement was helping but i tried all the various supplements i’d been using since, in the past 5 weeks, and nothing gave me that energy again. yeah even that week i didnt have energy to like do my old normal range of activities or chores but at least work was manageable and i could do at least 1 of my old normal hobbies a day. versus now this week where i am trying to figure out how to keep my job again since fmla ran out a while back but i absolutely can’t do 8 hour days i keep collapsing then waking up then working until like 6-8 pm cause i can’t get my work done in the regular 8 hours then i feel exhausted and just want to rest and make myself eat then its rest time :c. had 3 panic attacks this past week just cause i cant physically do this man. im not even pushing myself to do anything close to my normal range of activity im just trying to do maintenance ‘must do to keep job and keep eating’ tasks and im failing to handle them all. wooh. i desperately wanna get a higher energy level and have no idea how man. i wanna know why i had that 1 good week and if thats possible to achieve again.

like. and none of this is covering the stuff i miss and know is unreachable for a fucking while. i miss being able to HIKE, to go window shopping with a friend, to go to some place to hang out, to drive reliably to somewhere over 20 minutes away, to have energy to fucking see all my friends again to have energy to wear makeup and dress up to have energy to travel and see loved ones like. to have energy to learn new things again. goddamn u know... all the goals where u improve stuff, where u grow or build muscle or learn something or get to socialize. im way too wiped to do any of that, even when i was level 7/10 that one good week i was too wiped for any of that. 

i know i gotta be happy im not dying anymore. and i am. i dont wanna do that ever again. i dont want it to ever last so long again. but im so frustrated im still so sick and no one is telling me WHY or WHAT the fuck im sick for, or if it will ever get better, or if i can do ANYTHING. ive been seeing doctors, alternative medicine, looking up supplements and over the counter shit, looking into fucking anything to help myself but im not a doctor i have no idea im just throwing myself into things hoping something helps me and im so fucking exhausted. and the people who are supposed to help me have so far kept saying ‘well unless ur dying again/get even worse and have to go to ER again’ we don’t want to see u, we have no idea whats wrong, good luck, we hope u will simply improve in a while.’ in fact even if i get worse again, unless its new symptoms they’re pretty much all ‘well that sucks we tested everything we know, good luck! hopefully u improve, either way our meds will keep u alive in combo with the ER so just deal with it.’ 

u know. and all this combined with every fucking time. i spend energy trying to figure out how to help my own health, or try to get a doctor to help me. is energy i no longer have for work to keep my job and health insurance i need for the meds keeping me stable and out of hospital. is energy i dont have for daily life maintenance or anything else. im so exhausted im so exhausted 

[kyber-kisses]

Southern Nights (2/4)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: all of the feels, and fluff. Dean being the softest boi

Summary: After a situation with the BMoL, Dean finds himself running towards the person he fears for the most besides his brother. But even when he finds her safe and alive, he can see that something isnt right.

a/n: Ahhh so you know how i said it would be two parts? I lied. Its gonna be four. Anyways I hope you enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Part 1

You had been uncommonly quiet.

Throughout the day Dean had continued to watch you closely, like he could somehow piece together what was going on with you just by watching. Even after they had packed it all in for the night, you remained much more quiet than normal as you moved around the kitchen to make dinner. Every once and awhile you would hum along to a tune on the radio but that was about it.

“You okay, Dean?”

The hunter sat up straight at the sound of his name on your lips, his arms folded over the kitchen island. “Me?”

“. . .Yeah?” You paused cutting up an onion to look at him. “Who else would I be talking to named Dean?”

He swallowed before quickly nodding. “Yeah, yeah im fine. Why do you ask?”

Shrugging you went back to work, the sound of the knife hitting the cutting block muffling radio momentarily. “You've just seemed quiet that's all.”

“Me? You're the one that's been quiet all of today!”

You looked up from your work once more, eyebrows raised at Dean as you slid the contents off the block and into a pan. “I haven't been quiet. Ive talked to you and Sam today-”

“No that's not-” letting a hand slide down his face he stood up, walking around the island towards you. “I'm just saying, you haven't been as talkative as you usually are. You haven't cracked a single joke today. Not one.”

“I'm sorry?” you tired, not really seeing where Dean was going with this.

“You're always cracking jokes and making lighthearted comments. You haven't done that at all. Whats going on?”

“Why do you think somethings going on if im not telling jokes?” You laughed lightly, reaching around him for a pepper.

“Um- because that's who you are? energetic, lively, funny Y/N.”

“Well I’m sorry, I was a little busy helping you and Sam find your missing mother.” You began, your knife going through the pepper with much more force than needed as you began dicing.

“I just want to know if your okay, that nothings bothering you-“

“Dean, I am Fi--” Your words were stopped short as you yelped, knife dropping to the block as you drew your hand back. “Fuck-” sure enough you had managed to cut yourself, the blood leaving the slice in your finger to run down your wrist.

“Jeez, Y/N-” Dean was in action before you could stop him, moving forward to gently guide you towards the sink. “This might sting for a sec.” Flipping on the faucet he let your put your hand under the flow of water.

“Ive been through much worse, Dee. I think ill live.”

“Im sorry, this was my fault.” Dean sighed, inspecting the slice in your finger.

“Last time I checked I was the one wielding the kitchen knife.”

“I know- but I-” You pressed a finger to his lips, shaking your head. “Don’t. If you wanna really help me you can grab the first aid kit that's in the cupboard.” You nodded your head in the direction you were talking about. “Got it?”

“Mmmhmm.”

Lowering your hand you gave him a soft smile. Why was he always doing that? Blaming himself for no apparent reason. Putting your hand back under the faucet you focused back on the cut until Dean was back at your side.

“Will you at least let me patch you up? To make up for pestering you?” He tried, clicking open the lid and rummaging through it for bandages.

You let out a dramatic sigh before sitting yourself down on the kitchen island. “I guess . . .i mean, it is very hard to say no to that face.”

that got a chuckle out of the hunter before he slotted himself between your legs and carefully taking your cut hand in his to inspect. “I know, I'm a goddamn gift aren't I?”

“Oh, I wouldn't go that far.” You smiled, using your free hand to prop you up as you watched him disinfect and wrap the cut. Every once and awhile Dean would look up from his work, eyes finding yours before giving you an almost timid smile.

Bastard. He really had to stop doing that if the two of you were going to try to continue only being friends. You could hear the little voice in your head screaming arms length away! Arms length away!

At that same moment one Sam Winchester came walking back into the room, hair still wet from his recent shower. At the sight of the first aid kit and the scattered materials he paused on the other side of the island.

“What the hell happened?”

“You're brother stabbed me.” You stated bluntly, sliding back off the granite counter and bumping your chest against Deans as you did. Weasling past him you gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“hey, no I didn't!”

“That’s exactly what a person who just stabbed someone would say.”

“Why you little--” You cut him off yet again, this time handing over the kitchen knife to him with an amused grin. For a moment Dean could see the normal you again, and he couldn't help but smile back.

But something was still there. He could see it under your smile and the glint in your eyes.

“You goin somewhere?”

“Uh, yeah. I called dibs on the shower next. You two can finish up dinner.” Backtracking away you gave them both a wink before disappearing around the corner. Once you had vanished Dean let the facade drop before whirling around to look at his brother.

“What?”

Dean waited another second, making sure you were out of earshot before planting his palms firmly on the island. “Alright, tell me if I’m crazy— but Y/Ns acting a little off isn't she?”

“Off in what way?”

“Off in like- she’s not her usually energetic let’s go kill some monsters attitude.”

“I mean. . .maybe?” The younger Winchester shrugged, not quite understanding what his brother was getting at. “She did say she was spending the week resting up after that rugaru Hunt. She’s probably a little drained from that.”

Dean ran his palms down his face, “yeah, but think about it. Jody said she had been here for almost five weeks. Five, Sam! Five! When have we ever known Y/N to stay in one place for that long? Hell, even during thanksgiving last year she only stayed a few days before running off towards another case.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Dean. Maybe if you’re so worried about her just try talking to her?”

Dean sent his brother another glare. “Have you not seen me trying to do that all day? She just keeps acting like she’s fine- and I know for a fact that she is not.”

Shaking his head in defeat, Sam moved past his brother to continue making dinner. “She loves you Dean. Anyone can see it, and I know you can too. She’ll open up as long as you actually try. And if you love her, you will.”

*        *         *          *

Thankfully Dinner had been more lively than the rest of the day. And for awhile you actually had managed to almost convince Dean you were fine. The three of you spending a good few hours seated at the kitchen table and reminiscing about days gone past. You were cracking jokes again, and laughing at his. From across the table Dean would watch as the corners of your eyes would crinkle and you would double over in laughter. If he could he would stay in this moment forever. One where you all were happy and full of energy.

and then that perfect little image had to fade.

It was almost like you ran out of steam or something because your laughter slowly pattered out and it was like watching you cave in on yourself. You became quiet again, losing yourself in thought as you washed the dishes. Dean couldn't stop himself from glancing over at you each time you passed him a plate or dish to dry. That dullness behind your eyes. Leaning backwards, he made eye contact with his brother. The younger Winchester slowly beginning to see what he was talking about.

“You know what, I can finish up here Y/N. You've already done so much for us.” Sam pipped up, putting a reassuring hand on your back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Raising your hands in surrender you backed away from the sink. “Well then go for it I guess.” You sighed. “Ill be on the porch if you need me.” retreating from the kitchen once more, you paused at the threshold. “Dean, you comin?”

“Oh, uh- yeah. Yeah ill be out in a sec. Im gonna help Sam finish up.” Dean quickly stuttered. He watched as you gave him a puzzled look before walking away. Not a second later a soapy hand smacked the back of his head.

“Why'd you do that? That was probably the perfect time to talk to her.”

“I. . .Panicked?”

“You-” Sam paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You panicked? Since when do you panic around Y/N?”

“I don't know! Sue me!” Dean whisper snapped, rubbing the suds off the back of his head from where his brother had smacked him.

There was another round of silence before a grin slowly spread across Sam's face as he watched his brother. “God, you are so in love with her aren't you?”

“Shut up.”

“Its cute.”

“Dammit Sammy, I said shut up.” Dean growled, wiping his hands off with a towel before throwing it on the counter and walking out of the kitchen and in the direction you had gone.

Dean was expecting to have to search for you, but it only took two steps out the front door to find you. Between the string of yellowish porch lights and the yard lights in the planter boxes you were easy to find. The sun had set hours ago, but the night air was still warm, and the stars were brighter than usual. You were stretched out in the grass, drowning in the sea of life around you as blades of grass tickled the soles of your feet. You were fiddling with the dials of your old radio when you heard the bang of the screen door, looking up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Sam again?”

“. . .Yeah.” Dean sighed, making his way down the steps before stopping and sitting on the last one. “But its nothing. You dont need to worry.”

“I always worry.”

“I know.’ He paused, watching as you sat up and swung your body around to face him. “You must really like it here.”

You shrugged, setting the radio down in the grass as some oldies playlist softly fell through the speakers. “Yeah. Its quiet here. Unlike every sketchy motel in America.”

“Yeah. You’re right about that.” He lightly chuckled, pausing only for a moment when you got up and moved to sit down next to him, hands wrapped around your knees.

The two of you sat like that for awhile, letting a comfortable silcen fall between you. No words spoken. Just easy silence. During that time it felt like the world had stopped. The only sound being the soft hum of the radio next to you and the even softer drone of katydids and crickets that seemed to come from everywhere. At some point a yellow tabby cat slunk across the grass just beyond reach of the porch lights, jumping up to swat at a lightning bug.

After a few minutes you spoke up again, your voice soft. “Thats another thing I like about you.”

“What?”

“Your a good person to sit with. You always offer silent comfort when needed. Sometimes before I realize I even need it.”

A small smile fell across his lips as he turned his head to look at you, surprised to find you already looking back. You were much closer than he originally realized, and he felt his breath hitch in his throat. You could feel his breath fan across your lips when he exhaled.

God, you were so close- so fucking close. The temptation to close the remainder of the gap between you had Deans heart doing barrel rolls. It was like some silence dance between the two of you, both set of eyes meeting before focusing on lips- and then back up to eyes.

And then the moment was severed when you pulled back, shaking it off.

Dean sucked in a breath after watching you for another moment. “You gonna really tell me what’s going on with you?” He finally spoke, making sure to keep his voice soft as yours, afraid to disturb the serenity laid out in front of you.Somewhere in the distance a dog barked.

“Does it really matter?”

“Yes. Because I’m worried and can see that you aren’t your usual self.”

You didn’t make eye contact, instead you kept your gaze on the tabby stalking through the grass. Why were you so afraid to say it out loud? It had been gnawing at you for days now but actually saying it? And to Dean no less?

“Dean, I think I’m gonna quit hunting.”

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[xaidyl]

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting 

Actual parent:Brennan 

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie 

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter. 

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him. 

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario. 

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting. 

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him. 

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful. 

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone. 

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running  

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table. 

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast. 

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud. 

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap 

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing? 

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop. 

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense. 

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying. 

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through. 

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51. 

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times. 

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere. 

5. Stabbing 

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party. 

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left. 

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices. 

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow. 

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy. 

[oh-theatre]

You Can't Force A Fairytale (Chapter 4)

Chapter title: Pain Cuts Deep

A/n:  HI HELLO!! This sucks lol! no seriously im so sorry that this is so bad!! although some stuff was revealed!! also also..whats up with patton? and remus? And all of them! Aaa !! Anyway i hope you enjoy even though its trash and make sure to leave me comments!

Also yes Im keeping Dolion because then I can have... janus ;)

also if this is confusing i understand, so please tell me and ill try and clear it out!

words: 3516

summary: The group is scattered and needs to make a plan soon.

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual remile (These might change but for now im love them)

warnings: bow and arrow, violence, injuries, magic, swearing, bruises, scars, blood, fighting, stabbing, pain

Ao3 Link  

“Are you alright Patton?” Logan whispers, guiding the horses into a hidden cove of the forest, followed by the rest of the group. The prince swallows, the images couldn't stop running through his mind, staining the memories permanently in his mind. He doesn't understand why it set a quick blaze and a blush to rise in his face. Logan takes his hand, stopping them, his glazed eyes stare curiously.

“Im alright” Patton promises, hopefully the shadows hide away his blush. Logan looks doubtful but nods anyways, the others in tow. Prince Roman helps an unsteady Virgil practically tumble off the horse, a quick shove to a giggling Roman. Prince Remus follows suit with Dolion, though he is much more graceful and regal stepping off the horse. “Follow Logan into the cove, through the hanging leaves.” Patton guides, they follow suit.

“Good luck” Logan gives Patton's hand a gentle squeeze. The prince nods, giving Nork a sweet pat before Logan leads them away. Once the clearing is empty, he takes to the amulet around his neck, his hand enveloping the magical touch.

“As we search for cover in this mossy forest cove, let no one uncover or discover what's hidden in the mangrove” He chants, a sweet spur of magic dances around him, green flecks as they follow his spell. They take a moment to give Patton an entrance, once hes safely inside the dank dwelling they shut the group away from the outside world, protected from magic and tyrants above. He whispers a quick spell watching his hands engulf in safe flames, the light allows him to regroup with the others.

“Is it done?” Logan cautions, Patton nods feeling exhaustion hit him.

The sight was something. The wet stone was not faint of aroma, the moss that encircled the area was refreshing. The horses seemed to enjoy the small yet spacious patches of grass that led out the other side into a hidden pool of water. Remus, regal as always, lied flat on his back snoring away already. The gray stone may present itself as hard yet the prince seemed so cozy. Patton almost wanted to join him.

Logan sat ever so sweet under a shaded area, in the intersection of the cove leading out into the pond. He read his book, a routine while he ran his hands through a sleepy Nork’s mane. The horse sat next to him, almost as if he had forgotten what animal he was and was content to act as a smaller one. Thank god the space let him.

Dolion and Virgil seemed inseparable, they both sat with their feet splashing away in the water, their muddy boots by their side. The pair spoke in hushed whispers, hesitation to trust the characters around them, finding solace in the similarity of their situations. Patton did find his heart tug at him as he watched however, their soft delight at each magical essence this strange world presented was something that never got old and something you just couldn't deny.

Finally Roman, Patton had to admit, the sight was hard to watch. The prince stood against the rock in the corner with a bland look to his face. He watched the prince skip stones across the pond, bored, his crown that typically rested perfectly upon his head now flopped a bit with no sight in mind to fix it. Romans steed, Dracaena, neighed in concern but had no qualms about returning to her important task of chomping away at the grass around her.

“I wonder if she would be more comfortable in her other form?” Patton inquires, catching Romans ear instantly.

“I think the same, I sense she's eager to be on alert in case of danger though” He expresses. Patton nods understanding, though he did miss the vicious, mischievous creature, he understands. “I don't believe we will be staying for long, correct?” Romans body shakes with impatience. His clear want to ride through the open fields with a hunger for victory was clear. Patton could feel the fiery passion that boiled his blood, not that he needed his powers for that. The amulet strung on Romans neck was alight with the amber blaze.

“I'm not sure Ro” He glanced towards the foreigners, their anxieties at bay for now. “There is alot to process and we mustn't put innocents in danger over our own goals” Patton explains, Roman knows he speaks only truths but still his anger was unkempt. “For now though, we are safe and this gives us ample time to come up with a plan...a much needed one” He reminds stringing his arm through Romans. This releases a chuckle from the prince. “Come, for it was not I who led the battle of Sarcane to victory, but you our brave warrior at the front line”

“Well I had assistance” He smiles at the newly appeared dragon that rested upon his shoulder, a quick breath of fire in excitement.

“But of course, much credit to Dracaena” Patton gives the creature a sweet pet, adoring the soft murmur of affection. “Now come before Logan and Remus tear eachother apart”

~~~

“My opinion?” Virgil gasps with a vile sarcasm. “I think you're all insane and i'd like to wake up from this nightmare!” He shouts, ending with a bite and smirk. Should Roman find that defense so pulsing for his heart?

“I do indeed second that” Dolion whispers with a yawn, the cross-legged boy sits sleepily next to Remus. He holds in another sign of his tiredness before settling very lightly onto the prince's shoulder. He hadnt meant to but he simply couldn't keep his focus much longer, and the prince was there. Remus froze of course, terrified to move, he didn't want to wake the boy. And he surely didn't want to call attention to his reddened face.

“Maybe it would be wise for us to rest for the evening,” Patton suggests. Logan huffs shutting his book, the maps and scribbles collected quickly by him. He shakes his head, muttering to himself walking to a secluded corner. “Lo” Patton sighs, he eyes the others asking them to set up the proper conventions for the night before following his quiet friend.

“We dont have time to rest!” He utters, throwing his items away from him, Patton quickly waves his fingers making sure they dont sink into the water. “Thank you” Logan stubbornly acknowledges, watching the prince delticaltyl stack his things next to him. “We must prepare Patton”

“Lo we dont even know what we’re up against” Patton sits beside him, the stars shine through the only opening, reflecting delicately upon the water. “Everything escalated much too quickly” He takes his friends hand, it always eased them both.

“You and I both know that he will be coming soon” Logan reminds, the image of the army marching towards them, led by the figure of whom Logan speaks flashes familiar in Patton's mind.

“Yes but we mustn't allow it to consume our minds as of now” Patton assures “You need rest as much as everyone else, for now we are safe” They hear wild giggles from behind them, turning to see the four enjoying their time. Remus dances kookily around the cover, Roman finishing his meal with delight as he watches Dolion and Virgil quite entertained. “Even in darkness, a light can shine through to guide you” Patton whispers, Logan nods from behind him, he takes the words to heart. “Ill take first night!” Patton announces, receiving no arguments from the group. He goes to stand but feels a tug at his hand.

“Promise me i'll see you in the morning” Logan begs, the soft features catching his eyes. “Come back to me?” He worries, the forest though magical and enchanted was not short of danger. A gentle Patton places his gloved hands on Logan's cheek.

“Always and forever” He swears, Logan nods, the exhaustion now dawning him. “Get some rest Logan, your mind has been at work for much too long”

“Agreed” He yawns, he rolls out his makeshift cloth, a comfy pillow and takes what little warmth he has. Quickly Patton watches him follow into his dreams. The shivering did hurt him just a tad, so when he knew no eyes were watching him, a quick spell he cast.

“On this cold and fateful night, give him warmth, give him light” Patton watches the amber flecks dance before shrouding Logan. He smiles to himself before taking his bow and horse and makes his way to the front.

~~~

“Patton!” He would be lying if he said he hadn't jumped, for the voice, though cheery came at the blackest of moments.  Emile and his graciousness fluttered to where the Prince lay sleepily on his horse, trying his hardest to keep awake. Though what protection could he grant with his bow on the floor and his arrows scattered. He was delighted to see the godfather however.

“Emile, your sorcery” He greets, allowing the fairy to fix him up, feeling the boost of energy boil through him. “How did it go?” Patton questions, adjusting his position.

“I was able to clear my own name of crime and reinstate my position but the royal guard is on the hunt just as suspected” He explains. “They're sending out the cavalry”

“Goodness not Remy!” Patton whispers furiously. Emile nods solemnly. “The King is truly going all out...but why?” Patton wonders “What does he know about these foreigners that we mustn't, and what does my needing to get a suitor hold over the kingdom?” His thoughts pour out of him. Emile shrugs as he fiddles with the flowers around him, watching the echinopsis dance around him. He heals the ones that had not been tended with pleasure before summoning a treat for Nork. “We can't stay here then, when morning befalls us we must travel once more” He sighs

“I will do my best to keep you updated, I must go now my dear prince, but I shall visit soon again” Emile promises, an understanding nod from Patton and the godfather disappears in a dazzling shower of light.

Luckily the night went on without any incidents, Patton scoured the area, took Nork for a calming venture before returning to the hideout as the sun came to fruition. He remained outside, reading through one of his many books he had tucked away, Nork allowed him to sit easy while he grazed the small land.

“Good morning” He heard from behind him. Logan emerged from the dangling leaves, a yawn escaping him. “What, might I inquire, are you perusing?” Logan questions, Patton shows him the novel. “Ah very well, I do adore flowers”

“As do I” Patton agrees, he shuts the book marking his page, stuffing it carefully into his sack. Logan observes the area, his eyes admiring every small inkling and detail that surrounded him. Patton extends his hand, a sweet smile. “Care for a morning ride?” He asks, Logans excitement may have begun with his curiosity for the world but it only grew with Patton's proposal. He takes his hand as he had done many times before and allows Patton to hoist him behind him. The simple buzz Patton experiences as he felt Logans respectful hands wrap their way around his waist and his head rest easy on Patton was something he would simply never ever fail to love.

Scratch that… as Logan laughs timidly while they rush through the saplings of the forest, the love that filled his eyes and the mental notes he saw the prince take, the giggle that escaped as water splashed his face

That was something he would never fail to love

Logan..

Logan was something he would never fail to love

~~~

“I swear to god princey if you don't shut up i'm going to tape your mouth shut” Virgil moans, his head falling into his hands. Roman feels taken aback, the shock of such disrespect and yet the almost...excitement from the nickname was something else.

“For such disrespect the kingdom could have your tongue” He retorts, his face hot with anger but almost wanting to engage.

“And yet here you stand with your tongue” Virgil teases, he hears a faint smoky laugh from Dracaena, she slithers away from a silent Roman nestling into his lap. At first hes frightened, but the soft purring spreads a warmth over him. Roman...well despite feeling mocked...enjoyed the gentle view. He takes a place next to Virgil, watching the young teen flip curiously through some of Logan's journals while keeping a steady pet on the dragon.

“What do you think you're doing!” Speaking of the prince, Logan rushes into the room, fuming with shy anger. “Those are my journals! My property!” A scrambled Patton follows him, a look of anticipation for though rare, Logans outbursts were...unpleasant. He quickly snatches them away from Virgil, a glare towards the black haired boy. “Only I and a select few…” He glances towards Patton, did his defenses fall? “Have access! So stop touching others things!” He demands

“And so with Logans anger boiling, and Virgils own fury at storm the two are at odds, will they be able to ban together for a new threat approaching fast?” Remus spouts, Roman takes his side instantly knowing the pain that would come. “I hate it, I hate it” Remus sputters, the sweat fast approaching. Dolion, who while he enjoyed the princes antics found nothing charming as of yet, was intrigued by the sad honesty of the pain. “With that! The group should begin on their way” He barely manages, tears forming as Roman aides him.

“What does-” But Virgil is quickly cut off by the distant sounds of shouts, determination as each beautiful thing in the forest is stomped by power and raging fury. “Oh”

“Nork!” Patton calls, Logan stuffs his books away before allowing Patton to assist him on the horse. “Come now, we haven't much time” He signals to the others. Roman whispers a quick check to his brother, Remus nods. Though pained, he's ready to flee on his own steed. Unsure, Roman calls to Dracaena. She flies away from Virgil before a mist of shrouded light appears and a midnight horse takes her place.

“Coming?” Roman questions, extending his hand to Virgil. The teen rolls his eyes but joins the prince. “Hold on” He warns, and though his own blush denies him, Virgil grips tight to Roman. He watches as Dolion helps Remus to his own horse.

“Estrella” He whispers sweetly, the horse neighs with affection. This fragile moment tugged at Dolion, he missed his own home. New Orleans seemed like such a distant place, Luna, his cat could still be heard purring. “Up up and away” He jokes, Dolion takes the reins, thanking his mother for the horse riding lessons. He doesn't even mind when Remus collapses on his back, the warmth of the prince was...nice.

“On my signal” Patton heeds, and so one by one they gallop through the woods. The horses follow one another, protecting each other from danger and shielding themselves from the public eye. They reach an opening after what seemed like hours, the rope burning on Dolions hands was almost too much to bear. Remus had healed so they switch positions. It seems the sun was setting which set off a yawn in Virgil. He grew more comfortable on Roman, practically hugging him. Not that the prince minded, he enjoyed their journey. And his mind couldn't stop thinking about ...one particular-

“-Moment!” Virgil huffs “Just give me one moment” He slides off Dracaena, clutching his stomach. The group decides to take a rest near the waterfall, Logan leans against a tree and begins reading. Roman makes sure Dracaena is secured before following Virgil to where he sits by the lake.

“Are you alright?” He questions, sitting next to him.

“I feel...sick” He groans, Roman finds his little puffed features adorable. “It just keeps...making noise” He points to his stomach. Roman fiddles with the glass before pulling something from his satchel.

“You haven't eaten have you?” He shakes a small container holding delectable treats. Virgil scrunches his face in realization. “Here” he opens it, pulling out what seems to be a biscuit. Through his own habit he goes to feed Virgil. Virgil takes the first one, before both take a second to come to reality. “Apologies” He rubs the nape of his neck, Virgil laughs watching crumbs fly out. “Habit I guess”

“Fwo wat?” Virgil swallows his food, taking a handkerchief and wiping away the crumbs that had escaped

“Well when I had to meet suitors I had to charm them.” He explains, I suppose the mindless princesses my father found for me enjoyed being treated like a baby” Virgil snorts, Roman would love to hear that sound more.  “ Oh but thats just a few of them! Ive met so many amazing ladies of royalty, each so smart and strong” he muses

“And yet here you are...alone” Virgil notes, he wasn't going to lie. Roman was the spitting image of every disney prince. He should have been scooped up by now.

“Heh...I suppose the shoe...just hasn't fit yet” He gulps, the truth of his uncertainty was something he had only ever confessed to Patton. He wasn't even sure! And yet even with his doubts...No Roman. Once all of this has calmed, you will return home, a perfect princess will be ready for you and you may rule.

Better that,  than living the torute he watched his brother endure. He takes a peek back at Remus, he sits giggling away with Dolion, the look he gives the foreigner was one he had only seen once before. He did miss Janus, he was a wonderful fencing coach, and always challenged the twins. But no one missed him more than Remus.

Ugh! Roman enough! This is ridiculous. You're being ridiculous. You don't know anything, you've never tried anything.

Ok so maybe he didn't enjoy the entire scene, but...he takes a quick peek at the curious raven haired boy, he enjoyed Virgil.

No Roman...

For the crown

For the kingdom.

He looks to Patton. Follow his example, he tells himself. The prince didn't just have a kingdom on his shoulders, he had the entire land of which they rode across. He had endured more suffering than anyone.

But he laughed away the idea of a suitor, he walked away from it

Roman purses his lips...he did, didn't he?

So why can't you

~~~

“Are you alright?” Logan whispers from his position. Patton coughs coming back from whatever daydream he was engaged in. He tightens his hold on the reins, nodding away his suspicion.

“Yes of course, are you?” He wonders. Logan doubts his answer but shrugs it away.

“I am, I am more than ready to find a resting spot. I simply must show you these new spells, and oh the mus…” He rambles on, Patton listens, he does but suddenly the world goes silent. He looks to Nork but finds scared darkness. He panics trying to find anything familiar until he hears a voice...his own.

Hes watching himself, he watches the scene that had been haunting his mind for days unfold once more.

“No stop” He tries to call out, but the fearful hoarse cry was nothing. His eyes follow as Future Patton races through the castle, fighting his way. He knows what's coming, he doesn't want to see it. Not again, not anymore… “Stop!” he cries, nothing changes, his future self continues on his path. Tears swell in his eyes as he tries to avoid seeing the tender moment but he can't peel away. He gasps in pain relief, preparing to return to his body.

“What a sad sight” He peeks through his tightly closed eyes. What's this? He doesn't remember this. The King had not spoken before. But now he spoke and moved. “He was brave, tougher than I thought” The King expresses, Patton watches himself keep a protective hold on the frozen Logan. “But he just wasn't strong enough”

Logan's figure collapses, Patton wastes no time kneeling beside him. Patton watches himself and Logan share a hush conversation, but his eyes quickly glance towards the towering figure. The King moves silently as he takes his sword. Fear quickly engulfed Patton. The prince wanted to cry out, scream, do anything, but all he could do was watch.

And listen to the ear piercing scream as the sword slashed its way into Logan. It became too much, The Kings dastardly laugh, Pattons desperate sobs, and the fades of Logans demise. Too much ...too much. Patton clutched his head before the world went black and he felt himself hit a grassy meadow. His eyes fluttered only to catch Logan jump off of Nork and rush to his side. He heard mumblings and worries but soon he lost all senses and fell into a deep sleep.

But not a pleasant one.

Not with the images flashing their way through his head.

He had to change it, he had to.

[accioromione]

How Ron and Hermione would be during COVID-19 if their kids had to come back from Hogwarts

So because it is 2020 and the epilogue happens in 2017...That would mean that Rose is in her third year and Hugo was 2 years younger so he’d be in his first year., (poor guy). 

Ron would be forced to be home because Wheezes would probably be forced to shut down and Hermione would have to work from home. And both would have to deal with Rose and Hugo trying to study from home.

Here’s a written piece of what would probably happen 

xx

“Dad do you know anything about arthimancy?” Rose asked  

“Rose, the fact that you even chose arthimancy came from your mums brain not mine.” Ron responded 

“Ugh...mums busy though and I don’t want to bother her!” 

“Okay okay let me take a look” Ron said, getting the piece of paper from her hand “yeah....Okay....so.....Yeah I have no idea.” He said handing it back 

“But you were an auror!” Rose responded, desperate.

“Yeah, you don't need arthimancy for that, defence against the dark arts help maybe...Runes...Arthimancy...That’s your mum.”

“ugh okay fine I’ll ask her after dinner if I dont figure it out myself...It’s hard to teach yourself I thought I was smarter than this.” Rose sighed in frustration. 

“Rosie you’re really smart, not having a class with a professor teaching you these things would be challenging for the smartest people.” Ron responded reassuringly 

Rose smiled, “Thanks dad this whole situation’s mad” 

“I know sweetheart, trust me no one hates this more than me....I don't know why your mum doesn’t just invent a cure...Don’t tell her I said that because knowing your mum she’d try to make one just because I said that” 

Rose laughed, “I won’t, okay thanks dad I’ll try again....” Rose said going back to his room.

Ron sighed, this situation was not ideal. Especially it being Hugo’s first year...He loved his kids but having a home with just Hermione and him after 13 years was exciting. 

And although they were financially stable...Ron was responsible for a successful business... which many employees depended on  ... He also wanted Rose and Hugo to have a proper Hogwarts experience...He had no idea that this would come into the muggle and the wizarding world...And poor Hermione...They were giving her twice the amount of work and in addition to that with the kids at home...It was all a lot...He tried to help in anyway he could, like right now, he was making dinner. Usually Hermione did cook, and she had become quite a good cook at that. However, upon marriage he’d learn how to make a few staple dishes from him mum.... and could master about 4 of them..which came in handy most of the time” 

Upon the smell of the cooking the Hugo came downstairs 

“Mmm are you making roasted potatoes dad?” Hugo asked, taking a whiff

“yep, along with the roast chicken and sprouts.” Ron said “It’s nearly done..can you go ask your sister to come downstairs”  

“Rose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Hugo yelled “Come downstairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dinner!!!!” 

“Brilliant,” Ron said sarcastically “Definitely couldn't have done that myself Hugh” Rose went downstairs looking defeated.

“Arthimancy?” Ron asked

“I got it actually...It’s ancient runes now...This is too much....” Rose said, grabbing plates, helping to set the table. 

“You can do it...the both of you..How’s school with you Hugh?” Ron asked 

“Not too bad yet... I think they’re pitying us cause we’re first years and we had to be sent home first year and all of that....Which they should because this sucks” Hugo said, taking a seat at the table. 

“Yeah- well there’s still six more years for you..so hopefully everyones healthy and well and you can enjoy those.” Ron said....

“I’m going to go get your mum” Ron said before leaving the kitchen..upon leaving the kitchen he went upstairs to go to Hermione’s office...He knocked the door and opened it..to see a Hermione rapidly writing on a piece of parchment in focus 

“Love?” he asked gently 

Hermione looked up and stopped writing 

“Is everything okay??” She asked, her hair was in a messy bun and she looked exhausted 

“Yeah no - everything’s fine...it’s just 8:30 you haven't eaten all day...I made dinner ..” Ron said 

“Oh is it 8:30 already!? Blimey...Oh Ron I’m horrible I’m sorry that’s like the third night you’ve made dinner” 

“It’s fine Hermione I have more spare time....Everything alright? You look stressed.” 

“I dont deserve you,” Hermione said putting down her parchment and getting off her seat to hug Ron, “and everything’s fine, it’s just having to be in contact with the ministry and the muggle politicians as well over this whole ordeal is a lot.” 

“Nonsense, of course you do, and yeah I know-” Ron said squeezing her “come eat...get some more energy” 

Hermione kissed him and they went downstairs.

Hugo was already shoving food in his mouth and Hermione smiled “just like your father Hugh- oh Ron this looks delicious!” 

“Mum do you remember anything about ancient runes?” Rose asked as Ron and Hermione took their seats 

“Ummm I think a bit- why?” Hermione asked 

“It’s just they’re making us do readings and I did better having the explanations and then doing the readings so I found it hard to translate some things do you think you could help for like 5 minutes after dinner?” Rose asked 

“Yeah of course sweetie why didn't you just ask?” Hermione responded. 

“I didn’t want to bother you- with all your ministry stuff” Rose said 

“Oh Rose I’m sorry- I know this isnt easy for the both of you...but if I can help of course I will!” Hermione added 

“Thanks mum I love you- ugh, I just feel like I’m going to fail everything!” Rose said before forking a potato 

“Funny, your mum said that before her OWLs and what you get again?” Ron added looking at Hermione “Ten O’s and one E?” 

Rose looked worried, “An E in what!?!” 

Ron laughed...

“Yep just like your mother...Defence against the Dark arts...she got the same as me..” Ron teased 

Hermione rolled her eyes and Hugo laughed...

After dinner was finished Hermione helped Rose with Ancient Runes and came downstairs to see Ron doing the dishes...

“Oh Ron stop I’ll do them you’ve done so much” Hermione said swatting his hands away 

“It’s fine really” Ron said 

“No stop..go sit” 

“Hermione it’s” 

“Stop..Sit” 

Ron obliged, he knew better than to argue with Hermione 

“Rose figured out Runes?” Ron asked watching Hermione 

“Oh yes, she only needed like 30 seconds from me and then she got it...barely helped her” 

“Yeah she’s brilliant...figured she was being harsh on herself ...like someone I know” Ron added with a smirk. 

“Ho ho” Hermione said, putting away the last of the dishes...

“Oh I really hope they can go back soon...but based on my meetings it will be a while...May go into next year..we’re in the works in opening up things in stages..business’ are obviously the priority because so many people depend on them...”  Hermione sighed lying on the couch next to Ron 

“Yeah I’m aware-” Ron said, being a business owner himself...

“Looking at reopening shops with proper equipment so I think you'll be back quite soon....schools however it’s tougher...poor Hugh..in his first year. But you know... health first” Hermione said as Ron wrapped her in his arms 

“yeah well I mean we also missed one year of Hogwarts...guess it goes in generations...We lit the candle with a war...now a pandemic...maybe our grandkids will experience an alien invasion or something” Ron joked, trying to make light in a bad situation 

“I certainly hope not” Hermione cheeked back “But you are right..we didn’t really have a normal Hogwarts experience either did we? And we turned out okay” 

“I mean.....I don't know if okay is the world....you are slightly mad..but yeah exactly” Ron joked and Hermione hit his arm 

“Abusive woman” Ron joked 

“I’ll let that slide because you cooked dinner-all  jokes aside, you have been lovely Ron, I know you’re busy too with all the business meetings but you’ve been doing all this house stuff- I love you” Hermione said before kissing him, and Ron kissed her back and held the back of her head pushing her closer to him. Even after all these years he had never lost attraction for her and only felt himself falling more and more in love with her...her and the kids meant the world to him and he felt grateful everyday..even in the midst of a pandemic..having this home ...with Hermione ...and his kids...made him realize just how far he’d come in his life. 

“Mum have you seen my- oh God my eyes...” Hugo said as he was running downstairs 

Ron and Hermione pulled apart, Hermione pink in the face

“God....can’t unsee....” Hugo said, looking disgusted. 

“Seen what?” Hermione asked, still pink 

“That black Jumper of mine-” Hugo asked and then added “god ...gross...I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts” he mumbled 

“I put it in the wash” Hermione responded 

“But it was clean!” 

“Then don’t put it on the floor if it’s clean” Hermione responded, “if it’s on the floor it goes in the wash” 

“ugh....can you give it to me when its done mum” Hugo added 

“Why do you want it so bad anyways? Have somewhere to go?” Ron joked 

“I was going to play quidditch outside...I usually wear...” 

“Okay so you’ll get it when it’s clean...besides its too late for quidditch...” Hermione added and Hugo looked at his dad for approval...

“Let the boy play quidditch...” Ron reasoned with Hermione and she gave him a deathly stare 

“You’re playing quidditch by yourself in the dark?” Hermione asked...

“Yeah I’m making the bewitching the balls and saving them myself...It’s rubbish but better than nothing” Hugo said ...Ron was reminded of when he did the exact same thing while he was trying out for the quidditch team during fifth year 

“They only allowed you to use magic outside of Hogwarts  for school work in the circumstance Hugo..not to play quidditch” Hermione reminded him 

“How is that fair? It’s not my fault I’m not at Hogwarts....Dad....” Hugo said looking for his father to be the voice of reason 

“Hermione let the boy have fun” and Hermione gave him a death stare. 

“Fine go off! But do not go far....if I even find out you’re....” and Hugo ran off going up to his room to get his broom and ran outside

“You never let me discipline” Hermione scolded, 

“Let him be a kid Hermione....we never got that...besides would you rather him outside or walking in on us every two minutes?” Ron asked 

“Walking in?” Hermione asked 

“Mhmmm come....” Ron said dragging her upstairs

“Rose....” 

“Is in her room studying...and now Hugo’s outside...we have time...silencing charm for like fifteen minutes should be enough” 

“Ron I...” 

“Come on..relieve some stress...” Ron said and kissed her on the neck..he knew once he did that it was over...And unsurprisingly, Hermione, now mush in his hands, was obliging and following him...making the best of an unfortunate situation 

[patheticfrogarchive]

i hate my job so much like i hate it SO much im in the target pets department and like, idk if any of yall have worked for target (dont) but im the Dedicated Business Owner (TM) which basically just means im responsible for stocking the area and shit. ANYWAY i am STRUGGLING every single day to do all my work and i never get it all done anyway like i am running my ass all over the store trying to do the 600 tasks they throw at me every minute and like theres SO much shit like theres too much theres litearlly no enough room for it all. like i am quite literally out of backroom stocking space and you wanna know what they tell me when i say “uhh im outta room what do i do” they just go “oh wow. we’ll worry about that later” LIKE HELLO??? ARE YOU FUCKING ME???? ARE YOU EATING MY ASS RN??????????? I HAVE 1000+POUNDS OF DOG FOOD IN THE WAY AND UR TELLING ME TO DEAL WITH IT LATER??? YOUVE BEEN TELLING ME THAT FOR 2 MONTHS NOW????

not to MENTION the fact that im not very physically strong and they expect me to be moving LITERAL thousands of pounds of cat litter all over the place BY MYSELF in less than an hour and when i say “um im struggling to do this, any chance I could get some help? or do you have any advice?” THEY LOOK AT ME LIKE IM THE INSANE ONE!!!! AND THEN DONT GIVE ME HELP OR ADVICE!!!

dont even get me STARTED on the shitty fucking HR department. this bitch never answers her goddamn emails and has no joke been on vacation 3 times in the past 4 weeks like BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!! NOT UR JOB THATS FOR SURE!!!

like i was literally wheezing my way thru work today running all over the place VERY CLEARLY struggling to do all this work and having a hard time lifting 50 pounds above my head on my own and one of my team leaders walked by, just kinda looked at me struggling and went “huh. tough day huh :/” and i was like “YEAH. ANY UPDATE ON THAT SECOND EMPLOYEE I WAS PROMISED???” and he just went “uhhh yeah next week” even tho i was promised some help ALREADY A WEEK AGO

like its gotten to the point where im honestly hoping that im falling behind enough that theyre gonna fire me. like yes i like money but god i hate it there so much. 

ALSO the fact that ive only worked there 8 months and ive already gone thru at least 3 different managers. hell store. i hope it explodes. everyone there is so fucking stupid oh my god 

and then this one fucking bitch beatrice talks down to me SO much i hate it i wanna beat her stupid face in. you know when like, people will talk to you in That way like, when you have obvious social problems and theyll talk to you like youre some kind of freak, like ttheyre very condescending. yeah she talks to me like that ALL the time and it pisses me off and i hate her so goddamn much and fucking mark doesnt wear his goddamn mask and looks at me like im crazy and almost every single person who works there is so fucking stupid they just throw trash all over the place and GOD. its literally one big huge mess i fucking hate it im literally so angry all the time. the other day some fuckhead ran into my cart, knocked everything over, looked at it went “oh. my bad” AND THEN JUST FUCKING WALKED OFF???? THIS ONE BITCH KEEPS SLAMMING DOORS IN MY FACE??????? MY GODDAMN TEAM LEADERS NEVER FUCKING ANSWER THE WALKIE TALKIE WHEN I CALL THEM WHEN I NEED THEM, BUT GET UP MY ASS WHEN I DONT ANSWER IMMEDIATELY????

THEY HAVE THE BALLS TO SIT THERE ADN TELL ME “WE DONT WANT U TO FEEL OVERWHELMED :(” BUT DONT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME!!!!!!! i honestly want the store to burn down like please please please manifesting very evil energies towards my target rn please please die die die

[50-percent-winchester-sister]

The Emo Phase

THIS IS MY FIRST SISTER WINCHESTER ONE SHOT PLEASE DONT HATE IT I CRIII

Dean: 26

Sam: 22

Y/N: 15

When you were 15, that’s when you had an emo phase, and Sam and Dean were NOT pleased

You had a short temper and a prissy attitude and they were not having any of it. You wore all black and according to Dean ‘slutty’ clothes, which made you more mad at him

You snuck out all the time and each time they got tired of you so Sam grounded you for 2 months

“What? You can't ground me what the fu-”

“I think I just did. Room. Now.”

And when Sam grounds you, you know you can't get out of it easily. Even so, instead of being a good kid and saying sorry, you slammed and locked your door.

You were so mad you balled your hand into a fist and shattered your mirror and threw the stuff that was on your dresser on the floor. Let’s just say, your room didn’t deserve the things you did to it.

About an hour or so later your energy drained because you were mad at Sam. Mad at Dean. Mad at yourself

You cried for hours and when you woke up you looked like a mess with red puffy eyes

Until it hit you. You woke yourself up, Dean didn’t come in and call you Princess, he hasn’t in a while…

You opened your door and walked to the kitchen doorframe to see Sam and Dean at the kitchen table, Sam on his laptop and Dean drinking a beer looking at the newspaper.

You just stood there silently for a minute until you decided to walk past them to get something to drink

Dean looks up and sees you saying “There’s our little ball of sunshine” sarcastically

“Bite me” “Hey I’m not the one who got grounded by Sammy”

“Whatever don’t talk to me” You grab yourself a glass of milk and go to your room to get dressed for school.

You walk into your room and “Wow...Did I do all of that?” You were so filled with adrenaline and hate you blocked out most of what happened last night after you got grounded

You got dressed and went into the kitchen to achieve your backpack, glasses and the ribbon your mom got you.

“Y/n your rooms a mess you’re gonna clean it up when you get back fro-”

“Yeah no shit, it's not like I’m gonna keep it that way, Sam”

You didn’t want to stay there any longer and decided to walk to school. Your school is a few miles away and one of your brothers usually takes you, but you could bare being near them right now.

You were already 20 minutes late to first hour and frankly, you didn’t give two flying fucks

You decided to skip 1st hour because honestly they're’s no point on going anymore

You skipped second hour because you hated the teacher and skipped third hour because that teacher always gives you a hard time.

In fourth hour (the hour you FINALLY decided to come to class) you got sent to the councilors office

“Are you Y/n m/n Winchester dear?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The principals have contacted your guardians to come to this school to pick you up, you’re suspended for 4 days”

“Wait for WHAT? What did I even do??”

“We’ll talk about that once your guardians are here”

Your back is turned away from the door and once you heard that door open you KNOW you’re done for. For the first time in a while, you’re scared to be near your brothers.

“Are you two Sam and Dean Winchester?”

“Yes we are, hello”

Sam on your left and Dean on your right, you can't leave even if you tried

“We have called you in here today to inform you that y/n has been suspended for 4 days due to breaking Sabrina Gillie’s nose and breaking Callie Monoys’ arm”

'Oh right… that’s what I did' you thought while trying to remain calm

It was silent for a few moments which felt like forever

“Thank you so much for telling us we’ll take the right disciplinary action”

You, Sam and Dean, walked out of the office and were walking through the hallways to get to the Impala.

You usually like quiet but right now you were going insane.

You hated the silence, it was digging into your skin like needles

You, Sam and Dean, were in the impala when the silence broke in 3...2...1...

"Y/n, what the hell were you thinking?" Dean says with venom in his voice

"Yeah okay, ask me what I was thinking and not what they were thinking, sure do that"

"Son of a bitch y/n I know you think you're 'so' cool now but dammit come on, you broke a girl's nose and another girl's arm"

"Fucking hell Dean it's not like I 'wanted' to do it, they deserved it!"

"No more out of you Y/n, once we get in the bunker you're going straight to your room and staying there, you got me?"

"No," you say like a calm but dark undertone.

"Excuse me?" Sam says looking back at you

"I said no, me, Claire and her friend Alex are hanging out tonight at Claire's house"

"The hell you are," Sam says "You're still grounded, missy"

"Do NOT call me missy you asshole, and screw you I can just sneak out"

"I'll lock your door"

"I can go out the window"

"you're room is upstairs"

"I have my ways, Sam"

"THAT'S IT!! Y/n, I'm tired of you acting like just because you're our sister you can get away with the shit you're doing!" Sam says as he wipes his face with his hands

"That's not-"

" No! I don't want to do this but Dean, you think we should send her to Jody's for a few days?"

"WHAT?" You say in a piercing, sinister scream enough to make Dean stop the car and look back at you

"I am NOT going to Jody's! You can't make me, Sam!"

"If you don't want to go to Jody's, then all this attitude of yours has gotta stop, okay?"

You three finally are at the bunker and you get out of the Impala before it fully stops and head inside and ran up to your room. You stayed in there for a good two hours cleaning up, but its because you wanted to, not because of Sam and Dean. It's 7:25 pm when you heard Dean call your name, reluctantly, you did as told. "Me and Sammy are going on a hunt, you need anything while we're out?"

All you did was look down and shake your head no and walk back to your room. no "Ill miss you two" or "Be safe, call me and ill be there," just....silence, and honestly Dean didn't know if he should be nervous or not.

You turned your phone off because honestly, you didn't want to be bothered by anyone, all by yourself with your thoughts. 'Wow I'm such a disappointment to them' 'Im such an awful sister, they want to send me away to Jody' 'God why can't I just do shit right for once?"

They left a note on the kitchen counter saying they will be back by later tonight so you thought of making them some pie, Karjalanpiirakka. Karelian Pie that Claire taught you how to make a couple of years ago

When it was finished you decided to clean up the kitchen, library and living room while you still had the time by yourself. When you were done, saying you were happy for yourself is an understatement, you were damn proud! It was 2 am by the time you settled down and watched Spiderman-Homecoming on the big tv screen.

About an hour later Sam and Dean enter the bunker and looked honest to god shocked on how clean it was.

"Sammy? Do you see this shit? Are we high?" 'Yeah I see it, you think she's okay?"

They see you sleeping on the couch, sitting up and Sam walks up to you and wakes you up, he says "Why don't you sleep on your own bed bugaboo, it's more comfortable there" "Its alright Sammy, I was trying to stay awake for when you two came back home to make sure you two were alright"

A smile was dragged across Sam's face when you said that, he like this, he liked this y/n, the y/n you used to be before all...this happened

You walked over to Dean and asked if he was okay and he said only a few manageable cuts. you nodded and walked to your room to sleep.

When you left Sam said to Dean "You think that Jody trick worked?" "That was a trick?" "Of course it was Dean, I know she loves Jody but even if she doesn't like being away from us for that long" "well I guess we'll see tomorrow."

When you woke up you ran downstairs to see your brothers in the kitchen, Sam making breakfast and Dean at the kitchen table talking to Sam. Sam notices you and smiles, "Mornin Sunshine. since you're still grounded you're getting waffles instead of pancakes." You look at him for a second and start to laugh. He looks at Dean, then back to you, "What?" "That's the best you got? pfft come on Sammy you can discipline me harder" you say during laughing fits. "Okay then, no breakfast?" "That's more like it"

You start to walk to your room when you turn around and asked Sam "Hey Sam?" "Yeah?" "I-" You realize if you asked him, you would cry in front of him, and you don't want that. "I- Nevermind its nothing. I'll be in the training room if you two need me" You turn around to walk into the training room and start working out. an hour and thirty minutes later you turn around to see Sam with his arms folded leaning on the door frame

"Oh, hey," you say out of breath

"Hey yourself. What were you wanting to say to me a while ago?" You looked a bit shaken up but you let out an "Its nothing I said, don't worry 'bout it." Sam looks a little bit worried but with everything that's going on with you, he needs you to talk. "Come on bugaboo, let's talk and Dean doesn't have to know unless you want him to" "Sam its nothing okay? Drop it" "y/n-" "Sam, dammit I said I don't want to talk" Sam jumped at the sudden snap of your voice. "I'll be in the library if you want to talk"

You're in your room doing fuck all since Dean took your phone and your tv when you hear a knock on your door.

"Its Dean can I come in?" "......Yeah"

Dean comes in and sees you laying down on the floor with red eyes.

"Talk to me, why did you go all 'hulk' on Sammy?"

"No, I don't want to"

"Sucks to be you, Princess, you don't have a choice"

"The hell I don't" you sit up and turn to him "You can't make me Dean"

"The hell I cant" mocking you "I'm not leaving till you decide to make this into a chick flick moment"

"I thought you hate chick flick moments"

"Yeah I do, now talk y/n"

"Dean I cant"

"What do you mean you cant?"

"Dean I-, I just cant"

"So you want Sam to take you to Jody's and keep you there?"

".....No"

"Then talk princess"

You high in defeat "It's complicated"

"Well you better find the right words hon, or its gonna be a long night"

Dean walks away and you feel like you just left earths void.

Dinner was grossly quiet, and you knew it was because of you. After dinner, Sam and Dean left to go to the library to read up on some lore and thirty minutes later you walk up to the library door frame and just stood there for a solid minute and they didn't notice you. "Hey." They jump at your voice and look at you "Hey y/n" they both said in unison. "I just wanna say sorry for the way I've been acting lately. I've been a total dick towards you guys when I know you two are just looking out for me. I bet I was hell to raise and pulling this shit is just adding more stress to you guys"

They both had a face of both shock and...relief?

"Y/n, come here," Sam says. You hesitate but you do so anyway "You have no idea how happy I am that you said that" He gives you a big moose hug and you hugged him back. "And yes you were absolute hell to raise" "Dean!" "What? She said it not me" You laugh and let go of Sam to hug Dean. "Sammy?" "Yes?" "No Jody's?" "No Jody's" you right in relief. "Not unless you start acting like miss priss again" You fastly stare at Dean "Call me that again and I'll show you a miss priss" Sam and Dean both laugh. "Am I still grounded?" Sam laughs and says "You got suspended of course you are" You frown and that's when Sam said "Two weeks." You turn to see him and smiled brightly. You start walking away when you say "God I love you boys" under your breath, but nevertheless they heard you and you know they'll be teasing you about it for weeks

[banditchika]

forgive me mother for i have sinned

fandom: bandori

words: 1541

pairing: tsugusayo

ao3 link

She shouldn't be doing this.

She really, really, really shouldn't be doing this, but—

She has to know. Oh, the things Lisa has seen today; she can't go on with the rest of her life without investigating this, because...

Because there's just no way. Hazawa Tsugumi? Rosy-cheeked, wide-eyed, dimpled Hazawa Tsugumi? The school council's darling and all-round cherubic sweetheart?

Lisa can't believe it. There's no way that Hazawa Tsugumi just...

She glances down at the phone and geez, she feels like she just peeped on someone doing—um. Like she saw something horribly inappropriate. Which technically, she has.

Tsugu: hey baby! Tsugu: send nudes? ;>

Lisa peeks again at the screen and gulps. She half expects Sayo to come crashing through the door, brandishing her guitar and howling loudly enough to put a shounen protagonist to shame, but nope—it's just her holding down the studio. Sayo's talking with Marina with the rest of Roselia and paying Lisa— and the fact that she's left most of her private life in the palm of her hand—no mind.

Normally, Lisa would be out there with them. A large part of her still feels like she should be; feels that this is definitely an invasion of privacy, and that the reason why Sayo's left her phone with Lisa is because of trust, and Sayo trusting her? Well, that's solid gold right there.

But this situation is anything but normal. Damn. How did comparing recipes and ingredient ratios turn into this? This has to be a joke, right?

She would have let the phone return to its lockscreen and joined Roselia outside had LINE not pinged just before Lisa could click the power button, and Lisa had learned more about her dear, sweet underclassman, and her seemingly-ever-reliable bandmate's relationship than she ever wanted to know.

... Well, she says that, but now that she's seen it, she doesn't think she'll ever be able to look at either of them the same way until she's sure.

Tsugu: ... sayo-san? :< Tsugu: baby?

It's like a little devil and angel are sitting on her shoulders; Devil Ako (because it's kinda fun to put a face to the warring parts of her conscience, and because Ako would probably appreciate it) tackles the ever-moral Angel Sayo off her perch, and before Lisa can second-guess herself, her fingers are flying across the keyboard.

Hikawa Sayo: Alright. What level of undress are you expecting? Hikawa Sayo: Gravure, topless, or full-frontal nudity?

Lisa hesitates. She's too terrified to scroll up and see if Sayo and Tsugumi really were exchanging—oh man, she can't even think it—really were doing that, but maybe... maybe if she's a little sneaky, she can satisfy her curiosity and delete the messages before Sayo sees them. It's underhanded and dirty and she feels weird and bad drawing this as her moral line, but. Listen. Her curiosity has to be satisfied.

She keys in her last, killer line: the final blow.

Hikawa Sayo: Or perhaps, Tsugumi-san... you want something else today?

Read at 4:20.

Three dots appear beneath Lisa's message, and Lisa's heart plummets to her chest. What has she done. She has to apologize to Afterglow right now, immediately. Like, right this second. She has Himari and Tomoe's phone numbers. She can totally send an apology essay and like, supplicate herself in hopes of mercy.

Oh, oh, oh boy, oh—oh no. Lisa's face is on fire while Tsugumi types. She did not think this through. This was a mistake.

She should have just dropped the phone and pretended she didn't see anything, or 'fessed up at the beginning and not be able to look either Tsugumi or Sayo in the eye. Sayo's going to kill her. She's going to have Lisa stand at one end of the studio and just—just hurl her guitar at Lisa with her usual terrifying, uncanny accuracy, and Lisa's too pretty and too gay to die like this!

Her only consolation is that Sayo probably won’t end her with a bullet. Lisa's defied most lesbian stereotypes but the big U-Haul and being in love with her straight best friend; she's not about to start racking the rest of them up now.

Tsugu: yo woah Tsugu: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

... Wait. Wait a second.

Lisa squints at the phone. Tsugumi doesn't talk like this. At least, Lisa's pretty sure she doesn't. The girl radiates good vibes and puppy energy and—seriously, it's an effort to restrain herself from patting Tsugumi's head whenever they run into each other in the hallways. There's no way someone that sweet and kind and bright types like this. Lisa can practically smell the weed.

Tsugu: ok lmao ill just b really honest with u sayo san Tsugu: this is aoba moca afterglows guitarist Tsugu: were at tsugus cafe rn n she left her phone w us while shes on shift Tsugu: i was just messing around pls dont actually send nudes Tsugu: at least until tsugus here u kno. u do u in private

Moca. Moca. Of course it's Moca.

A sigh shivers out of Lisa. She's saved! No death by guitar from Hikawa Sayo. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe.

Death by teasing from Moca, though; that's a possibility that's growing more concrete by the second now that she's the one holding someone's—that is to say, Lisa's—life in her hands.

Moca's still typing.

Tsugu: if u dont mind me saying tho Tsugu: rlly didnt expect yall 2 have gone so far n stuff Tsugu: i mean hiichan n tomochin play gay chicken all the time so its not like no one in afterglow sends nudes n stuff (dont tell them i said that~ pls~) Tsugu: but tsugus like our baby u kno Tsugu: n also our grandma who we love very much n tell all our problems 2 Tsugu: so uhhhhhhhh Tsugu: wasnt expecting this at all but dam tsugu get it Tsugu: pls dont get mad at her or kill me xoxoxo moca

Moca doesn't type again. Lisa wonders if she's feeling the same trepidation that Lisa did when she waited for "Tsugumi" to respond. Moca kind of actually has feelings, sometimes, so there's a definite possibility that even she is sweating—but also, it's Moca. She might really be ready to face the consequences for her actions (read: guitar duel with Sayo, except they're actually swinging at each other with their instruments) and expects to come out the winner.

Hikawa Sayo: Ummm Moca?? Hikawa Sayo: This is Lisa Tsugu: oh shit lisa san Tsugu: that was u? Hikawa Sayo: Yeah~ hahaha~ Hikawa Sayo: Sayo was showing me something on her phone and then ran out to do something for the band. I was going to put her phone away but then I saw your message and Hikawa Sayo Well... Hikawa Sayo: I won't tell Sayo if you don't tell Tsugumi Tsugu: got it Tsugu: ill eat the evidence lisa san dont worry theyll never have 2 kno Hikawa Sayo: Ahhh!! T-T Hikawa Sayo: I'm so relieved!! Thank you Moca!

Lisa starts to delete her messages. Tsugumi's texts begin to disappear as well. She's really glad that the app shows no records of deleted messages because—whoo, boy.

Tsugu: slurp slurp Tsugu: sorry u had 2 deal w this lisa san Tsugu: see u at work tmrr

Lisa sends, "Yeah see you!!" as Moca's last texts begin to disappear.

With everything cleared, she tosses the phone into the depths of Sayo's school bag and perches on the stage, face buried in her hands. Ugh. Ugghhh. Uggghhhhhhh. This is karma. Karmatic punishment. She's been too nosy and too meddling and this is her punishment.

She's definitely smudging her makeup right now, but after everything that's happened? She deserves it. Consider the lesson learned, because from now on, Imai Lisa is going to be a model citizen. She's not going to bother with other people's business, she'll keep her head down and just focus on bass, and school, and work, and clubs—karma had its kiss out for her this time, but she's not gonna give it another reason to try again.

Lisa peeks through her fingers at the door. While Sayo looks as pleased as she ever gets outside of texting Tsugumi or doling out rare, rare bits of praise whenever they play particularly well, Yukina's got a certain... expression on her face. It's the one she gets when someone's put bitter melon on her plate or told her that no, you can't go to the park, it's the middle of the night!

She wonders what Marina's told them that has made Sayo so pleased and Yukina so... not.

... Okay, fine. Maybe she'll meddle a little more after all.

[professormaxwagner]

ooc:

Please be warned there is triggers under the readmore. 

Hey guys, so you are probably wondering why I am writing this on here and not on OOC, well its because its a long story,  So firstly let's get things underway, yesterday I received an OOC warning from main because I have been complaining about abusive anons. Let me show you them before I go any further, please beware they are hurtful and threatening.

  This is what I have been receiving for a while now and instead of being helped by admin I was warned about discussing it, which basically means hey you are getting bullied but dont mention it.  That’s really not a good role model for a roleplay. 

Moving on, the reason I am showing you all this was because I have been in two minds whether or not I should stay. As you may well have known, I have recently broken my foot and it hurt a great deal. While I was in the hospital and when I got home I kept getting messages like these 

as you can see I am keeping the name in on purpose as I would like you all to see what I had to contend with while I was in the hospital. The matter Ali is referring to is a girl called Sarah who was friends with this player in a 1x1 for years and spent every day together until the player joined the group and started mistreating her. This is not something that should have been sent to my roleplay account.  Being told that I was reporting back when I wasnt, was triggering for me as it has never happened and Sarah would also agree to that.  I  told Ali more than once to leave me alone and eventually, she did.  To me, this was uncalled for. For starters, this is not my fight and I do feel that this was a way of trying to upset Sarah further through me while trying to relinquish all the blame she should be admitting to. secondly, the situation between the characters of Quinten and Qhuinn emotional cruelty has been an issue for a very long time, since Ali dropped Sarah for Lecia on more than one occasion and instead of just admitting what was going to happen, she led Sarah on to believe that she would still  want  to write with her when she didn't want to. The fundamental fact is that Qhuinn is playing with Quinten’s feelings in ic for some kind of plot and that means in ooc Ali was neglecting Sarah for a plot that may never happen,  if you are going to lead someone on it shows that you have no care for them, so it is best you leave them alone.  I also dont appreciate the guilt-tripping I am having forced on me,  by accusing me of things I have never done. 

Roleplaying is meant to be a form of escapism and enjoyment, it is not meant to be clique groups who prey on each other, bullying people for fun and using other people till you are bored and want to play with someone else. These are people who put a lot of time and energy into their characters such as the 1x1 which ran for 4 years ( I may be wrong) until Ali got bored. When it comes to Rping, I like to keep busy and talk to as many people as I can, if there are upsets ( and there always is) I move away from the situation and then let the dust settle and RP with people at a later date, I do not gang up on a certain person then go to admin to make them feel bad.

The holidays are a stressful time for everyone, but having this followed by anon threats that Quinten will have me thrown out (because they are close to admin) unless I stop talking to my friend Sarah is not something I am comfortable with.  I can also categorically state that the anons are coming from America although I am still at a loss of what state they are from.  I have met some wonderful people here, but with that, I have also met people who will go to any lengths to get what they want no matter who they hurt in the process and that doesn't sit well with me, I have had ships forced on me and characters who manipulate things to make my character look bad and when I called them out they said they had no control over their character, that is incorrect we all have control over our characters, that's why we write. 

75% of the teens and young people who come into my ward have had online bullying and mistreatment in some way and I will not be part of a roleplaying group the advocates that. And although the people above may be revelling in the fact that they told on me and now I am leaving, I’m strong enough to know that when one door closes a better one opens, the thing I will always remeber was how nice certain people were to me and for that, I am eternally grateful.  I am available at my skype account for those who want to talk to me it's live:zoeyandmaxwagner I believe that talking about a problem is a better solution than ignoring it or “hiding” from it. I have also asked Sarah’s permission to post the submit I received and she allowed it as I would never discuss something which has someone else involved. if you would like to contact her she is on Tumblr @thewhisperingplaces but neither of us will respond to any nasty anons and Sarah has a better tracker then I do so she will know who you are and report you. 

Lastly, anything to do with max from his home to his workplace I asked to be removed as it is my intellectual property @the-institute-rpg. I dont want to leave but being strongarmed into things because Admin is being told to do things by a player who is a bully is not something I put up with, Like I said before Roleplaying is for enjoyment purposes and I will not be part of a roleplaying group the advocates bullying and online neglect which can cause suicidal attempts.  I have never sent any nasty anons as I just dont see the point of them ic or oc,  does it make you feel good to send hate? if the answer’s yes then you are the problem. 

To all the people who were nice to me, I wish you all the best in whatever you do and to the people who are not so nice I wish you could be better but what goes around will come around. 

Zoey. 

Ps. just in case the admins put up a post in a different way to which I have requested, here is my leaving ask

please remove me from the group as per my request. please make it known publicly that  I chose to leave.  I no longer want to be a part of the group which advocates bullying. Please inform Lecia  that her actions have caused a great deal of distress to others and it isnt something to be proud of. Anything to do with max from his home to his workplace I asked to be removed As it's my intellectual property.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 11 | “You let me like a parasite leach into this game and I will not be going anywhere”- Ali

Alright, so now it's my time to either put up or shut up. This is the round I really need to make this move in order to put myself in a much better spot moving forward. Either Ali or Autumn need to go this round, and I need to figure out how in the hell I can make this work. I know me, Devon, and the three Beauties are in for this plan, but I'm really concerned about Jakey this round. For some reason he's not being fully forthcoming about his thoughts about this vote, and with someone telling me that him and Ali might be close, I'm really concerned that he may go and ruin this plan. I don't want to think he'd do that - he should know I have had his back since Day 1 and I still think he has mine - but like... this ain't a fun spot to be in. Part of me wants to stack on Autumn and pretend like it's supposed to be a split vote to get Ali to use his idol if Jakey does tell him, but it would be worthless, but I don't even know if that would work. So I think I really need to figure out what Jakey is ok with here and then figure out how I can guarantee the heat doesn't come on me if this plan is found out.

I- just... you think you know people. Me and Adam rn https://media.tenor.com/images/ad6bd858d5371eb4ad2755d4a11bc748/tenor.gif but also me and Adam rn https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b8/d0/26/b8d026447effad19676de7e8ccc05c6f.gif Not Adam calling me at midnight to tell me that the whole ass tribe is planning to blindside Ali. I can't even get into the tea fully cause I'm in my bag now that I know 6 people think so little of me and will to lie to my face all day tomorrow but like it's fine. They will be dealt with, Adam is a king, we will get our Emmy's tomorrow for bamboozling everyone back, and I will 100% get Ali to play the idol he (probably?) has when I lay all the cards at 7 pm EST tomorrow lmao. And I'm really gonna get Jakey and Deovn's double agent asses- THAT I do know! Just you wait cause like I said before: name an ally I won't kill

to THINK, to literally THINK i wanted adam out at a point in this game. adam is literally the only person i trust in this game, i will be the kingmaker for him to get the win he deserves. what a genuinely lovely man, im so glad we are both still here. it sounds like there is a blindside being cooked up for little old me this round and for what...i'm borderline inactive, i cant connect with anyone in this game like... voting me for what... for literally what. also if jake is voting for me i will literally scream into the void this is so stupid for him. i am literally so far up his ass in this game all season and yet he wants to send me packing and for what. adam literally is my god send, as is devon's inability to keep literally anything a secret? like i trusted devon... so much?! and yet he literally threw me so far under the bus my squished up corpse is a 2D shape. i'm so... shook?! and also i still cant decide if i think jake is in on this, but if he is... im screaming? what a clown decision. but literally i cant believe this. im so excited to idol out one of the generic men in this game out tomorrow, they can all literally suck it up i cant wait. i want to be the kingslayer, i want to be the person who votes out amir for the first time in tumblr survivor. screw keeping big threats around, fuck that noise. i'm going to literally go through metamorphosis and become alyssa this season. i will be the mother hen who takes the bullet for my allies moving forwards, adam/autumn will make it further and further (plus jake if he is proven innocent and not a snake) anyway cast assessment: augusto - he can have such empty conversations for hours?! like this tribe confuses talking lots with social game. but like with him its a real i don't love your excess energy, go girl give us too much... would love to see him do literal anything beyond just having nothingy conversations... that does not a winner make amir - WOW his galaxy brain is so big. honestly i have to be impressed with amir, the fact he has this tribe misted that he is not the mastermind he is... a testament to his skill. i want to idol him out tomorrow adam - literally my jesus. i owe him my life in this game and i will stay true to that. i cant believe i didnt trust him at first wow... i hope adam gets the win this season autumn - my other goddess.. the literal love of my life, i want her and adam in the f3 this season if i cant make it. i want an autumn hill two time winner yes please and thank you devon - okay devon remains SUCH a sweet guy but oh my god does he play like a snake HELLO. he literally pumped me full of hot air for literally nothing wow woww wowww. he has lied to me for rounds and rounds for literally nothing... am ready to get that snake caught in a trap jake - i think the man who i was willing to give up my entire game for has been lying to me, i feel the exact same way i felt when my boyfriend cheated on me like this feels so personal... and i dont even see the endgame for jake with this hello!? my heart is broken, i literally watched sharifa play in sequester for HOURS with that man and for what?! for WHAT kendall - a literal sweetheart, never dissed. hope she goes far the only non-fraudulent one of the bunch tj -askjdlfsa he is so... stale jKLJKASDFAS like as a player go girl give us nothing. i wish he was being deadass when he said we were gonna squash our beef but i guess not huh? clownery from me i see anyway its almost 8am i need bed. im fueled by rage and im ending the generic men. adam and autumn are the loves of my life, brain, brawn and beauty are linking UP.

GORL yall better hold onto your britches this is gonna be a LONG one, so immunity happens, a music challenge, which i knew was right up my alley, i was confident going into it and tbh i had no idea what was gonna happen this round, so i decided to take a risk and use my challenge advantage, WHICH PAID OFF BECAUSE BITCH I AM T H E SONGSTRESS, DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DA UP OUT MY FACE BECAUSE YALL CANT GET ME THIS ROUND. who would've thought little old me would end up winning not one, but TWO individual immunities in a single season! im always dragging myself but for once im so PROUD of myself because with my last one there really wasnt anything to brag about, it was handed to me, which kinda did feel nice in a sense considering i know no one trusts me yet they wanted to still keep me around, but like this one was M Y own WIN like on my own merit. I'm an aries, dont ever count me out because i will deliver all the gags and all the goops so after my win, i know im 100% safe, so i start to think... hmm well idk who i want to go so i guess ill see and wait if anyone says anything to me, and then DEVON calls me and we're having a convo when all the sudden he gets real coy.... and starts going "OMG ADAM UGHHH I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS OR IF I CAN OR CANT" meanwhile, obviously i wanna know the tea so im like well bitch! spill! and he tells ME that apparently, him, jakey, tj, amir, and augusto have all allegedly been in talks and want to BLINDSIDE ALI THIS ROUND because they think he has the idol...and purposely leave me and autumn out? ill get to the THOUGHTS i have on that soon, because oh, i have SEVERAL thoughts, but as he tells me this he's basically just saying OMG PLEASE IM TAKING A HUGE RISK TELLING YOU THIS DONT TELL ANYONE ELSE, which, i DO trust devon slightly, but here's where the problems began and im gonna break it down for yall, 1) ONCE AGAIN, THE BIGGEST PHONYS IN THE GAME FAKE 1 AND FAKE 2 AMIR AND AUGUSTO LMAO LIKE .... DID WE NOT JUST END THE BEEF WE HAD WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE YALL WANTED TO GO BEHIND MY BACK AND NOT INCLUDE ME IN THE PLANS, ONLY FOR YOU TO DO THE SAME THING YET AGAIN??????? 2) Devon also TOLD me straight up and he was kinda laughing when he said it "im gonna be straight up no one trusts you in this game but i do and thats why im telling you", because AMIR/AUGUSTO ARE TELLING EVERYONE I HAVE THE IDOL FROM BEAUTY. WHY WILL NO ONE BELIEVE ME AND WHY ARE THEY BELIEVING THEM I DONT HAVE IT. LIKE I CAN OWN MY GAME AND MY MISTAKES AND THE ONLY THING IVE DONE TO DESERVE DOUBT WAS MY STUPID LIE ABOUT THE AUCTION BUT E V E R Y O N E LIED LIKE WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BAD GUY? YALL WANT ME TO BE THE BAD GUY, CHUN LI? BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, I CAN BE. ive been playing this game with ONE mindset only. I'll be semi honest with everyone, but lie to me and then you can no longer believe a word i say.... and 3) devon also told me, while he trusts me and wants to go far with me, everyone else doesnt want to take me out this round, next round, or even 7, theyre planning to go for me around like final 6......ok so what im hearing is people are ALREADY trying to plan when to take me out and while he may trust me, i basically would have no way to play the game other than with him??? which why would i just sit there and accept that fate...OH AND ALSO 4) him and everyone else really just expects me to sit back and knowingly vote against kendall, who WOULDNT be going home so they can blindside ali...... so id literally lose a friend in this and gain an enemy? do i have idiot plastered on my forehead??? well, i guess they were right not to tell me about the plan because BITCH I RAN RIGHT TO ALI. Like honestly, screw all those people, i feel like ive done NOTHING so horrible to make people dislike or distrust me so severely so i feel like i dont owe anyone a damn thing. why would i just sit complacently waiting to get picked off at 5/6 and put all my eggs in one basket when i single handedly can change the whole game right now, and thats exactly what i plan on doing. At this point im TIRED of people overlooking me and thinking they can play this game around me and get away with it, but whatever, YALL WANTED GOOD TV, YALL WANTED A SHOW WELL BUCKLE UP BECAUSE YALL MAY BE GOOD AT THIS GAME AND GOOD AT BEING FAKE, BUT YALL DONT KNOW WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELVES INTO WITH ME, IN THE WISE WORDS OF TAMMIE BROWN, YOU WANTED CRAZY, WELL YOU GOT IT NOW ali was SHOOK when i spilled the beans to him, and i told him like look this is me giving you my trust because he's the only person who's shown me respect besides autumn and even if he wasnt being genuine, at least he's being SMART AND GUESS WHAT IT'S GONNA SAVE HIS GAME BECAUSE BITCH HE TOLD ME HOW HE HAS THE IDOL- NOT JUST ONE, BUTTWO OF THEM FJADHSKJFH GORL FIRST OF ALL im so happy i can STOP PLAYING 2048 THAT DAMN GAME WAS GOING TO BE MY UNDOING, SECOND OF ALL I LITERALLY CACKLED ON CALL WHEN HE TOLD ME, I KNEW I COULD TRUST MY GUT ABOUT HIM, OH AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER HE ALSO HAS THE IDOL NULLIFIER EFSDKAJH WHICH MEANS....if we play our cards right......we can take out whoever we want, maybe everyone was right to be scared of us. I'd be scared, i think they should all be scared, yall wanted to say fuck my drag time and time again, well watch me bring it to the runway now. we also agreed we need to let autumn in on this, which could be either the BEST or WORST move....i really THINK i can trust autumn, her and ali are hands down my #1/2 in the game, and devon right behind, although if we pull this off, i told them both i dont want to get devon since he let me know this, i think even if i blindside him and dont let him know, i can at least justify myself enough to him and let him know him going home was still never an option, but i called autumn right after ali and told her all the same tea and at first she was kinda hesitant about it all, but i knew her and jakey had a good relationship so the hardest part for me i think was making her really believe he's against her which i think i did a good job of making her believe because she SPILLED the tea to me about how her/ali/jakey had an alliance, and i absolutely did just kick him out and take his place oop, which i dont trust jake at all because something about him/amir/augusto is so shady, you mean to tell me they voted you out and he hasnt tried to go for them or vice versa this whole time.... my gut is telling me they're in kahoots, and would 100% be a solid 3 against me down the line... my whole game rn hinges on autumn believing me because its the TRUTH i just told her what i was told but clearly i painted it a little more my way oops, so as of now the plan is autumn and me will both keep playing dumb tomorrow, then around 7 pm we're gonna "tell ali" the plan (which i already told him) but autumn doesnt know he has the idol yet, so ali will confirm it to her, and we'll make our move. I'm going to push for it to be amir, i want him OUT OF THIS GAME. im SICK of him and augusto prancing around like the wicked step sisters and treating me like cinderella. but who knows, maybe devon telling me was strategy on his part so i tell ali and we flush the idol and they vote autumn, but i have to hope that all those people are good enough with autumn that they dont want to do that just yet... but i mean, ali does have 2 so we already said if we feel like we need to use both, one for him and one for autumn, it's an option. Also if any of them have the idol ... this could become a mess if someone plays one right after ali, this could also just fall apart if they split the votes 3/3 sedkfha the odds of me actually getting my way....are feeling slim, but im gonna be hopeful because it's all i got, if this works, it could be my winning move, but if it fails, and there's a high chance it fails.... im gone next round... but with ali staying i dont think thatll happen, he's a shield for me and someone i can trust, im taking a page from the michele winners at war book, and he's my jeremy. I trust him, and i need him in this game for at least a few more rounds or im just gonna be dragged along and disposed of at some point. And if i leave then whatever at least i can say i caused chaos, which im always down for.

So I think Ali is getting sketched out by this vote, so now I am working with Jakey and Devon to figure out a plan to make Ali feel safe and not play an idol. But I'm like... oh dear... this could really blow up in our faces if this doesn't work. And I'm over here trying to communicate now to everyone what is going on so that they don't panic and I'm like... wasn't I just on the bottom? Now I feel like I have some kind of power again? I like this feeling, but also, it be scary as fuck.

If last round was the calm before the storm, this round is a full on hurricane of a vote. I have spent the past round or so trying to rally the troops against Ali and I think it can finally happen? He has two idols, a vote reveal, a idol blocker, and a killer social game so these people need to smell the roses and get him out. I really hope I don’t leave but if this is my undoing, at least I tried to make a move! 

tribal is in a few hours and i have a WHOLE ass headache because i dont know what's gonna happen....so last night devon LITERALLY told me everyone but me/autumn were gonna be in the vote against ali... but then today he's telling me jake doesnt know he thinks......am i crazy? did i mishear?? or is he trying to gaslight me.....because i KNOW what i heard and i literally led this whole jake slander campaign to autumn and ali, autumn doesnt think we can trust jakey because i can see devon feeling nervous after telling me that and then they try to tell jake to get in good with us so he knows our plan, but it also doesnt really make sense if jakey works with them unless my conspiracy about him/amir being in kahoots makes sense....so i dont fucking know what's happening, if it were up to me this would stay between me/autumn/ali and we'll ask for forgiveness rather than permission on the next day... autumn/ali are on call rn and theyre supposed to let me know after because autumn is supposed to "spill" the tea to ali (which i already spilled last night) and then we'll go from there because since he does have the idol we just need to place our votes very carefully in conclusion; there's gonna be some angry gays one way or another after tribal (and a few confused heteros)

I don’t think anyone respects me... which is annoying because I am currently playing a social game. But even more annoying because nobody listens to me!!!!!! Like literally all we have to do is switch to Autumn!!!! Switch to Autumn and everything will be fine and no one is willing to do that. Ugghhhhhhh god damnit I’m going to lose my mind.

I WILL CONFESS LATER BUT WE ARE SENDING DEVON OUT 4-3 AND IM GONNA IDOL MYSELF BECAUSE IM SCARED... IM READY TO BE IN FINAL EIGHT AND IM READY TO FIGHT.

Fucking THIS AND ALL THESE FKING PEOPLE IM SO DONE, I literally have no course of action, I’ve went through every single plan in my mind and every single one reaches a dead end, I don’t know the details of how the idol block and vote reveal work I can’t switch the vote to jakey, because Ali will vote reveal and then idol jakey and then I’m left with 4 people who want me dead and jakey blowing up my game I can’t split on autumn and Ali because we don’t have the votes without jakey I can’t fucking do anything at all I have to be passive, but I have to be alert Ali isn’t gonna go, jakey isn’t gonna go, autumn won’t, and adam wont It’s going to be me or my allies So I just have to try and make it not me at this point 

I think devon is about to leave and like, that is okay, just be who you are 

[cafffeinations]

It’s amelietweek! \o/ Here’s something for the day 4 prompt College/University AU. It also features Estonia as Lithuania’s room mate, and has mentions of Canada (I think Himaruya put Estonia’s ‘human age’ as younger than America, but here he’s older, like Lithuania). Its ~2,400 words and can be read on AO3 here

Somehow Alfred not being there is just as distracting as when he is, but Eduard is oh so fortunately around to inform him why.

---

Seeing as Alfred isn't around, there's really no excuse why Toris isn't getting on with any work. Without the stories about his day or the new people he always seems to be meeting, explanations about whatever new thing he's into that week and just his exuberant presence in general, it's a much quieter and study-friendly Tuesday evening than Toris usually has.

 Yet whenever he tries to focus on the paragraphs before him, the blinking cursor reminding him how unfinished they are, his eyes manage to glance of their own accord back to the clock at the bottom of the screen. He's usually here by now, the thought cycle begins, I wonder what he's up to?

But as the more rational part of his mind points out, there's no real reason for him to be here; just because he usually comes by doesn't mean he has to.

That should be the end of it, but he just cant help but imagine where he is, be it eating with friends or out running or maybe even studying - unlikely, he smiles wryly to himself, remembering how Alfred had proclaimed that he's 'better off' cramming before finals or he'll just forget everything. Toris had questioned if that really was so wise, to which Alfred had stuck out his tongue, making such a silly face that he'd laughed and -

His word count still has not gone up.

With a sigh he leans back and stretches his arms and shoulders, mentally berating himself, just as Eduard comes through the door.

"Hey," he greets, sliding his backpack onto the bed on his side of the room, "that doesn't look so promising." 

"Yeah, I'm not having the most productive time," Toris replies ruefully, trying not to calculate the days and hours until the one of his many deadlines.

"Well don't worry, you'll manage. You always get it done," Eduard reassures him, and he smiles gratefully, at least until he continues, "especially as it seems our resident freshman isn't around for once to distract you."

"Oh, don't be mean," Toris resists the urge to roll his eyes, a vague idea of where Eduard is headed, "he doesn't come here that much."

"If you say so," Eduard says in a tone that clearly doesn't believe him.

"Its only on Tuesdays when he has a late class over here," Toris bites against his better judgement, referring to the computer suite they live near, "and some Wednesdays if he has time to kill before baseball practice...and maybe on Fridays because of that burger stand he likes." (It was, according to Alfred himself, the best he'd had since moving from home).

"Hmm. How convenient."

"Plus he thinks that he can get your help with his coding or whatever it is you computer guys do!"

"He wishes! That was a one time deal and he knows it." Tutting, he boots his computer up (but Toris knows that as much as Eduard grumbles about Alfred, he finds him nice enough or he wouldn't put up with him coming over at all). "No, it's not me he treks over here for."

There's an emphasis there that he can't help himself but address. "I know what you're saying, and stop it. We just get along well, that's all."

"I'm not saying anything."

"You are," he grumbles.

"Well it's not my fault he's got a major crush on you, is it? I'm just pointing out the obvious. Yes, it's obvious," he interrupts before Toris can say otherwise, "and you like him back, or you'd be busy working instead of sat there looking at the time." 

"I wasn't- I was just- reading and planning what to write!" he protests, lying, and wondering not for the first time how Eduard manages to pick up on things he'd really rather he didn't.

"Very convincing," he says dryly.

As if to make a point Toris turns back to his screen, but he's not reading anything at all.

It's not exactly something he's never thought about, but he hadn't realised that it was so obvious. Or maybe Eduard was just too perceptive for his own good - he hoped that was the case.

"I don't think Alfred swings that way anyway," he says after a while, not quite as casually as he intended, but luckily Eduard is rifling through a pile of notes, not seeing his faint blush.

"You'll never know if you don't try," he shrugs, "You should just ask him. If you can get a word in against all the nonsense he chats, anyway."

Alfred did talk a lot, yes, but Toris enjoys it so long as he can keep up with the tangents that he sometimes flies into. And it wasn't all nonsense - if you really listened, there was more to him than just loudness and energy.

This was particularly apparent when they were alone. Then, it wasn't unusual for him to talk in, well how could he put it...just a different kind of way, one that led Toris to discover this more rounded side of him. Not that he meant Alfred was a superficial person or anything - really he was pretty damn genuine to all - but just that being on the go as much as he was, and as breezily as he interacted with so many people, he didn't think many (if any) got to see the depths that he did.

And maybe this wasn't all that unique, because wasn't everyone the same? Not many share their deeper thoughts with everyone in everyday conversation now, do they?

But the fact that Alfred could sit on his bed and come out with all sorts of things to him, made him feel kind of special. He'd learnt for example that Alfred jokes to people about math being the end of him, but he doesn't like admitting he'd been close to not making it to college at all until he'd taken extra tutoring; he knows that Alfred has a twin brother who he has little in common with but still 'actually kind of misses', and wishes they were closer; he knows as well that he's got some sort of hang-up about missing out on things and that's why he likes to get involved in so much. 

If Toris is a bit like his confidant then he's fine with being there for him, and it doesn't mean Alfred likes him, just that they feel comfortable around each other. That's what he gets most from Alfred, he suspects; a lingering feeling of lightness, his fun and carefree manner a refreshing break from himself and the stresses he gets himself tangled up in.

Does that mean he wants more than just, hanging out though? The idea of going there, closing that distance between them when they're sat together, is far (far) from unappealing, but feelings get so messy, and...well, he should be focusing on the reason why he's here in the first place. To study, and the grades sure aren't going to achieve themselves.

 ---

 Its just as he's about to pull on his pyjamas, having managed a to-do list for tomorrow's study if not ticked any more off that night, that his phone buzzes, twice in quick succession.

There aren't that many people who message him, and sure enough its the culprit of his earlier distraction.

Hey im so sorry i didnt come over today!! blame my mom, she said she had important news and to skype her ASAP so i ran back and all it was is that shes selling the house!!

-

which is still important lol but i was freaking out so much thinking it was something bad! sorry

He can feel a smile creeping onto his face before he's even halfway through reading, so very much like Alfred it is to sound lively even in text. The fact that he's being thought about too may have contributed to that smile, but he means it when he replies,

You dont have to apologize! You can't ignore moms when they say its important haha. That sounds exciting!

He's barely set the phone down when it buzzes again, but this time its a call - for some reason, this makes him nervous, but before he can over-think he hits answer, grabs his key and slips out of the room so Eduard can't eavesdrop when he comes out the shower.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me, can you talk?"

"Yeah," he says and pads past other rooms along the hall to sit out on the top step of the flight of stairs. "How are you?"

"I'm good, now!" America chirps down the phone, "Can you believe it though? She could've phrased it in a much better way, she had me so worried!"

"That's true!" Though he could also imagine Alfred doing the same, impulsively sending a message before thinking it through, "Its really fine though!"

"Yeah? You didn't miss me too much?"  

Obviously Toris can't see his face, but he can picture the cheesy and slightly cocky grin all the same.

"Not much," he teases, "I have Ed for company, after all."

"Pssh, I'm much better company than he is! That guy still won't help me with my paper," he grumbles, to which Toris chuckles.

"So you're moving home then?"

"Oh yeah - well to be honest its not even a shock, before we even went to college Mom was making plans to downsize. Just means there wont be as much space to move back so no pressure for finding a job at the end, right!" He laughs loud, in somewhat contradiction to what he's just said, and Toris hopes Alfred's room mate is out or at least not trying to sleep.

"You've got a couple of years to think about that yet," he says, "there'll be room for you to stay for vacations still, right?"

"Yeah, better be. Me and Matt have already said there has to be unless she wants us fighting over who's gonna sleep on the floor!"

"You spoke to him too?"

"Mm!" he imagines Alfred is nodding, "Actually I've been on skype to him most of the night. Its been a while since we talked, you know?"

"Yeah. How is he?"

"Really good! Buried in books he says, but doing okay. He's found a group of hockey nerds so he's been getting crazy with them 'til now I'm sure."

Toris thinks he means this in an affectionate way, considering how he says that he misses the guy, but his flip-flopping in how kindly he describes his brother isn't all that new a phenomenon.

"I think college is suiting him good. I tried to ask about all the girls in those pictures with him on Facebook and he went all red and told me to mind my own business! So he must be doing well, right!" he laughs again and Toris can’t help but smile too.

"You'll have to get some of his secrets," he teases, expecting Alfred to take it in his stride. 

"Yeah, maybe," he sighs, and there's a pause; not sad, just there, and for a second Toris remembers his earlier conversation with Eduard, and whether Alfred likes...

He decides against going there now.

"It's nice you're catching up."

"Yeah. I told him he should visit sometime soon. Hopefully he won't be too mad that not many people know I have a twin, ha ha...but you two would get along well I think."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh, you're both kinda quiet. And you put up with me! Actually, Matt said that-" 

He waits for the rest, but instead he gets, "actually, nevermind. How was your day?" 

"Um, it was fine but hey I'm curious now!" Toris answered, unsure as to what it could be. 

"Nah, it's nothing. I'll tell you next time I see you. I have to go to a group project before practice tomorrow but hopefully soon?"

"Yeah, sure," Toris replies, "I don't go far!" (which except from the library, was sadly true).

"Cool. Ok, well, goodnight!"

"Night Alfred," he says, and waits for him to hang up. After a few seconds he does, but something about the abrupt end and change of track is nagging at him. It's uncharacteristic of Alfred to be hesitant, but of course he's fully entitled to his privacy. He'll just have to wait and see if he does elaborate later.

He's about to get up when his phone vibrates again, making him jump.

"Hello?"

"Ok so I'm sorry if this weird but basically he said I talked about you so much he couldn't wait to meet you and he was glad that I'd found someone, and I was like what are you talking about and he was like - okay you don't need all of that, and um, do you know what I'm getting at here?"

He talks so fast it takes Toris' mind takes a while to catch up with his ears, and a few moments on top of that to fully process just what he's said.

"I, think I might," he says slowly, butterflies in his stomach.

"Do I? Come across like, I you know... like you."

He wonders what the best answer would be, and truth be told doesn't really know.

"I think only you can answer that," he says softly, and wishes he was there with Alfred now, to reassure the likely puzzled frown furrowed on his face. "For the record though, its not weird."

"It's not?"

"No, it's - it's fine. It's more than fine, actually," and he waits with bated breath for a response.

"Cool," Alfred says, which may not sound like much but he knows, he can just tell, that means he’s happy.

"Listen-," he starts at the same time as Alfred says "So-"; they laugh, nervously but happily, and he lets Alfred continue.

"I've got some stuff to figure out, about this," he says, "but I think you can help. Are you free on Friday?"

"Yes."

"Do you wanna go for a drink? Like, a proper drink. A date drink."

"That would be great," he says, beaming, and he really means it.

 ---

The next morning as he's about to head to the library, Eduard says, "I  don't want to say I told you so, but, I told you so."

"What do you mean?" Toris says as innocently as possible, feigning ignorance.

"Funnily enough, given your denial, something's happened between you and him."

Toris exhales into an exasperated laugh. "I haven't even said anything! How can you possibly know?!"

"You've practically been smiling ever since you woke up."

And throughout the day, whenever he thinks about Friday, it's hard to stop.

[fanfictionformost-blog]

Alex Tuner Fic

It was summer when your first met the notorious Alex Turner, you were both playing some two week festival somewhere in the middle of some Californian desert. It was unbearably hot but that just meant people could wear less clothes, you were wearing some distressed denim shorts with studs strategically placed along the bottom and a Evil Dead muscle tee. Alex was in some very well fitting blue jeans and a tight white tee shirt with the sleeves rolled up half way the first time you met. You were sitting in a tent the festival had set up for the talent minding your own business when what you would learn to call a Tuner Tornado burst in, A Turner Tornado was when Alex and all his pre show energy entered a room bouncing and singing, You watched from your seat as Alex and Miles made their way to the mini bar in the corner, They completely missed you continuing to sing 505 in an over exaggerated balled type fashion. “Two margaritas?” Alex questioned Miles with his head slightly cocked to one side, “Better make that three” you said while getting up off the couch and heading over to the boys. They both jumped a little before Miles said “Y/N, ive heard of you! Nice to meet you!” he extended a hand which you took kindly shaking it before you turning to Alex, hand still extended, “yeah and your The Last Shadow Puppets its great to meet you! I didn't know you play this festival.” Alex took your hand a little shaky at first but finishing with confidence. “Its new to us this year.” Alex said then gestured to you with the margarita shaker. “yes please” you responded.

It just so happened that both you and TLSP had at least two hours before you had to go on, so you sat and lightly drank while getting to know one another. Alex couldn't keep his eyes off of you the whole time, He traced you body with his eyes then your face. Little did you know he was trying to memorize your beauty. You thought he was very cute though so you tried to flirt. “So who are you boys most excited to see play? I put on a good show or so ive been told.” You say aiming the last part at Alex and readjusting your legs. “Well... I am very excited for that, ive also heard good things about your performance.” Alex said, funny you thought Alex is smooth but slightly awkward not what you imagined from listening to his lyrics, Still super cute, in fact you liked this even better. “Im excited to see Lana” Miles said referring to Del Rey. You giggled and then said you were wanting to see her again too. You and Lana often toured the same festivals. Two hours had flown by you got up and said your goodbyes before turning to leave but Alex caught your arm. “What stage love? ive got to see that beauty in action.” Alex asked more confidence in his voice then you expected this caught you off guard slightly but excited you even more. “Stage 4″ You said back with a wink then you bounced off to get changed.

You got your typical pre show jitters, nothing a cup of tea and doing a couple vocal warm ups can fix. Before you knew it it was time to hit the stage, you ran out said hello and then introduced yourself. There were always a lot of new comers to your music and these festivals. You then started playing your first song, you glanced over to the side of the stage and much to your surprise Alex was actually there. He was watching you intently, He stayed there the whole set with the same intense look in his eye and half smirk on his lips. You couldnt help but to keep glancing over at him, you were almost feeding off his energy. When your set came to a close you waved goodbye took a bow and made your way off stage. Alex was clapping as you approached him “well done, You really do put on a good show!” Alex said “Thanks, I didn't think you would actually come watch.” You answered blushing slightly, realizing just how sexy Alex was. You gave him a once over unable to help yourself from taking a couple extra seconds to really appreciate his strong jaw line. He just smiled and gave you a once over in return even though he had already remembered your every detail. “Can I get your number? I gotta run, soundcheck, but we should hang out sometime.” He questioned, “Yeah of course! I would love to hang out.” you answered and then pulled out your phone to get Alex’s number.

It had been two weeks and the festival was coming to an end. Alex spent every free moment he got either with you or texting you. The both of you were really compatible, same taste in music, similar senses of humor, and in insane attraction for the other.

*Last day :(* Alex Text to you

*I know, its been a great two weeks though. Plus we still have tonight ;)* you answered.

*We go on at 7 then after im all yours*Alex

*All Mine you say, Hope I can handle it.* You text hoping to tease him a little bit.

*Keep talking like that and I dont know if i will be able to handle it* He responded, mission accomplished

Seven rolled around and you couldn't wait any longer, you had to see Alex. So you decided to watch him play his final set of the festival. It was a great set, the best you had seen from TLSP. Alex did all he could to keep his eyes on the crowed but every once in a while they would find there way over to you. This really fired you up. You were having a major adrenaline rush. As the show came to a close Alex and Miles thanked the audience, embrace one another, and then exited the stage. By the time they made it over to you, you were practically bouncing. You joined there embrace “Great show boys!” you exclaimed. “Thanks love” They both answered and then disconnected the embrace. Alex took your hand and led you back to the talent lounge area to have drinks, Miles hung out for a while and the three of you talked and joked, You greatly enjoyed this time although you were sad this was the last night you would be doing this. Four drinks in and Miles was tapping out and headed for the tour bus. You got up from your seat and instead sat in Alex’s lap kissing his cheek and then looking into his eyes. You didn't say anything for a while, you just enjoyed each others presence. “We could always try da...” Alex started to say but you cut him off with a kiss. You knew what he was going to say, and while dating sounded lovely it also sounded like a lot of work since you both were so busy and traveled so often. You moved your lips from his down to his neck saying “Lets just have fun tonight, k?” between kisses. He let out a little moan and then said “Sounds good love.” You then bit his collar bone running your tongue over the bite gently after, he ran his hands up an down your sides. He pulled you back up into a kiss by your chin, His hands then finding there way up your shirt. Your skin started to tingle at his touch, he felt you shiver and let out a confident chuckle. You blushed a bit then helped Alex take your top off. He unclasped your bra slowly pulling it from your shoulders. Alex was very gentle with you but at the same time his movements were desperate. It was on of the best nights you had ever had and despite your earlier remarks only the beginning for Alex and you.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Tax Brackets, Compound Interest, Warehouse Clubs, Stamps, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Losing faith 2. Thoughts on simple investment strategy 3. Tax bracket question 4. Compound interest question 5. Costco versus Sams Club 6. Question about forever stamps 7. Investing for near term 8. VA disability and property taxes 9. KitchenAid 10. Where should I retire? 11. Credit cards for specific purposes 12. Saving old journals On the wall in my office are three framed pictures that my children drew for me when they were younger using finger paints. In the corner of each, my wife typed out a brief description of what the painting was supposed to be, transcribing what the children told her about them. They are among my favorite possessions. I look at them at least a few times a day and they provide a constant reminder to me about what Im doing, what Ive done right, and what I might do better. Theyre older now. My daughter is a fantastic artist at this point, drawing still life far better than I ever dreamed of being able to do. My oldest son is developing into a skilled problem solver and is likely headed for some sort of engineering career. My youngest has a superb wit and the most insatiably curious mind Ive ever come across. Those pictures captured them at a moment in their lives thats already past, yet when I look at the pictures, I dont think of my children as they were, but as they are. Its pretty impressive what three pieces of paper and a few cents worth of finger paint can do. Q1: Losing faith I have worked for the DoE for 18 years and been through a few shutdowns, but this is the first time Ive simply not received my paycheck. Part of the reason I have chosen to work for the government rather than an energy company is due to the stability of the job and now that feels like it is eroding. I dont know when Im getting paid next which is the very type of thing I wanted to avoid in private industry and took a somewhat lower paying job. I am losing faith in the government as reliable. Not sure what to do. Dan After last weeks mailbag focused so heavily on the shutdown, I wanted to dial it back a little this week, so this is the only shutdown-related question. Again, Im not interested in the politics of the situation, just how it affects the daily life of those affected by it. In your shoes, Dan, I would probably start polishing up the resume. I get the impression that your finances are generally pretty stable and you can handle a short period without pay. I would also use this as inspiration to remind yourself that the best kind of financial reliability is when youre relying solely on your own savings, not the reliability of an employer. When things do return to normal, kick up your retirement savings a bit and get yourself into a place of financial independence just a little faster. Q2: Thoughts on simple investment strategy I wanted to get your thoughts on the investment strategy my great uncle told me about. Hes in his mid 60s and has been basically retired for about a decade. He ran a bakery but sold it to the manager about a decade ago and sometimes consults with them but thats about it. He said that what he did was starting in the early 1980s when he was just starting out, he put a minimum of $100 a month into a savings account and then put in any windfalls he got. The minimum grew as his income did. Whenever the stock market dropped 10% from its peak, he would take half of his savings and put it in the stock market and then not watch again for another six months. He said he blew away the market doing this and its why he retired so early. I am skeptical because he sometimes tells tall tales and I think he is mostly retired on bakery money. Your thoughts? Alex So, lets break this down. He puts $100 a month into savings and then puts half of his savings into stocks every time the stock market is 10% or more lower than its peak, but he only does this every six months at most. I tried my best to match this strategy in a spreadsheet to figure out whether this would actually beat the market. As best as I can figure, over the period of January 1, 1982 to January 1, 2019, this strategy would beat the market but not overwhelmingly, and it didnt beat the market for long stretches in there. I assumed a 3% return over that entire period on money in the savings account, and I only checked the stock market on the 1st of every month. I used the S&P 500 as the number for the stock market and assumed he was investing in the Vanguard 500, which basically matches the S&P 500. Now, having said that, its worth noting that sitting on stocks over that period is simply a great investment. On January 1, 1982, the S&P 500 was at 117.30. On January 1, 2019, its at 2,584.62. That money he invested back in the early eighties utterly exploded in value. Heck, even as late as January 1, 2009, it was at 865.58 it has basically tripled since then. If your great uncle sold his bakery ten years ago and put a lot of that money into stocks, and hed been doing this investment strategy as you described all along, he probably is sitting on a pretty penny right now. As for whether you should do it, I dont think its strictly better or worse than just investing that $100 directly every month. It really depends on how the market fluctuates, as all of these strategies do. Your great uncle got rich because he made a 40 year investment in stocks, not because he had a great timing strategy. Anyone with just about any strategy starting in the early 1980s would be doing very good today if they just left the money in the market. In other words, I think youd be in great shape if you used your uncles strategy. I also think youd be in great shape if you just put $100 or $200 a month into a broad based index fund and sat on it for the next 40 years. The thing those two strategies have in common is that theyre both riding the long term stock market growth, and thats where the real money is over the long term. Q3: Tax bracket question You wrote: Lets say youre a single taxpayer who earns $35,000 per year. The first $9,275 of your income is taxed at 10%, and the remaining $25,725 is taxed at 15%. What? While $35,000 falls into the 15% tax bracket, your effective tax rate is actually 13.7%. The higher your income, the more tax brackets you pass through to arrive at your effective tax rate. There is no listed 15% tax bracket for single taxpayers.. That sentence is thoroughly confusing! Please explain where you came up with that! Tammy The article in question was written by Simple Dollar contributor Frank Addessi, not by me. Ill do my best to explain this specific point more clearly. First of all, Frank seems to have been using the 2017 tax brackets rather than the 2018 ones to explain the principle. His numbers perfectly line up with the 2017 tax brackets, which did include a 15% rate. The current 2018 tax brackets for single filers look like this: 10% Up to $9,525 12% $9,526 to $38,700 22% $38,701 to $82,500 24% $82,501 to $157,500 32% $157,501 to $200,000 35% $200,001 to $500,000 37% over $500,000 The easiest way to think of tax brackets is to imagine a big water fountain, one that has a bunch of progressively larger pools. When the little pool at the top overflows, the overflow runs down into the next pool which is a little bigger, and when that one overflows, that overflow runs down into the next pool, and so on. Heres a picture if you want a visual aid. So, in Franks example, hes looking at someone who made $35,000 in taxable income this year. You start dumping that income into the 10% bracket until it fills up at $9,525. At that point, you still have $25,475 to put into the fountain, so we move down to the next bracket. It can hold all remaining income up to $38,700, and so it holds the remainder. So, that first $9,525 is taxed at 10%, which means $952.50 in taxes, and the remaining $25,475 is taxed at 12%, which means $3,057 in taxes. Your total tax bill is $4,009.50, which is 11.5% of your income. This person is in the 12% tax bracket and their effective tax rate is 11.5%. Remember, because some of your income always ends up in those smaller bowls with a lower rate, your overall effective tax rate is always lower than your tax bracket. Hopefully this clears things up! Q4: Compound interest question I recently read a blog post about compound interest, which Ive primarily associated with bank accounts. But the article also seems to associate compound interest with retirement accounts and I was wondering if you could provide some clarity. One example early on says Lets say you have $5,000 in a retirement account, earning 7% interest each year. The first year you earn $350 in interest, which brings your total to $5,350. The following year, interest is calculated based on that $5,350 total Even if you never deposit anything but the original $5,000, youll have $38,061.28 in 30 years. I know the average stock market return is 7%, but is it accurate to call that interest? If not, is there some other type of retirement account that genuinely offers 7% interest on your principle every year (as this article seems to suggest)? Another example: toward the end it says If youre saving for retirement, invest in low-fee index funds. Fees of 1% or more will drag down your profit and cut into your compound interest. Index funds will follow the markets course and provide a solid rate of return. Avoid picking individual stocks, as their volatility can be problematic. Im on board with the ideas of low-fee index funds, but not for fear of high fees cut[ting] into your compound interest. Index funds are liable to lose value some years too, arent they? I wouldnt be giving this as much thought if it came from a smaller blog but this is Mint. It makes me wonder if I fully understand how my retirement accounts are working, or if Im missing an opportunity elsewhere. Is the article conflating two topics that dont really connect to one another? Or is there a way to leverage compound interest to this big of a degree for retirement? Max Mint is using the terms investment returns and interest interchangeably here in order to reduce the number of different terms being thrown at the reader. I do this myself its a way of making similar concepts seem familiar and not overwhelm people with new terms, especially when theyre asking an introductory question. They are distinct ideas, but they both have the same effect if you let them sit for a long time, the growth they provide is powerful. Your retirement account, assuming its invested mostly in stocks, doesnt return interest. Rather, what happens is that you usually own shares in a mutual fund. Each time you put money into your retirement account, its used to buy more shares. Over time, those shares grow in value maybe not each and every year, but most years. They also regularly produce dividends, which are small cash payments for each of those shares, issued to you. Almost always, dividends are just used to buy more shares of that same investment. So, shares grow in value over time and youre also rolling dividends in to buy even more shares. The end effect of that is much like compound interest in a savings account it builds and builds. Although theyre not the same thing, the exponential growth curve of interest in a savings account and investments in a retirement account are similar. The growth curve of the savings account isnt as steep, but its very steady and always upwards. The growth curve of the stock market investment is really bumpy, but overall trends upward much more strongly than the growth curve of the savings account. Q5: Costco versus Sams Club I dont know anything about sams club because we joined it when it first came to town years ago and hated it. When Costco came to town, we heard such positive things we decided to give it a chance and have liked it much better. Reasons are several, including those you wrote about esp. the gas prices as we pass the store every day. Further, they treat their employees really well. most importantly, they guarantee that if the credit card rewards (on their visa card) do not equal the membership fee, they will refund the membership fee. We have only one visa card and its theirs as we get a great deal of rewards based on gas alone. Jaden My experience has been that different chain stores have different degrees of quality in different areas of the country. Where I live, the two closest warehouse clubs to my door are both Sams Club and theyre both clean and well stocked and well staffed, and both feature gas prices that are consistently about $0.07 per gallon cheaper than any of the stations near them. There is a Costco in Des Moines (the closest Costco to me) and I found the experience there to be very similar when Ive visited with friends with Costco memberships. However, having said that, I didnt see anything that made it worth the substantial additional drive for me. My experience is that theyre both fine, at least at the locations Ive visited, and you should check out both in your area if theyre both available (along with BJs, another warehouse club chain popular in some regions of the United States). Q6: Question about forever stamps As you likely know, the largest increase in the cost of a stamp will occur on Sunday, January 27, 2019, as the price of a first class Forever Stamp goes from $0.50 to $0.55 (a 10% increase). While the best way to save money on stamps is to call/TXT/email rather than mail a letter, sometimes mailing a letter presents a very good value (sending someone a note of appreciation, etc.). Due to how significant this increase is, I would recommended that anyone with no high interest debt who already has an emergency fund try to purchase 2-4 years worth of stamps, while anyone else try to acquire at least a 1-year supply of stamps (as long as they can do so without paying interest on the purchase). Im curious how much of a supply of stamps you would recommend people acquire prior to this price increase? Stephen Personally, we estimated how many stamps well likely use over the course of 2019 (mostly personal letters and holiday cards) and bought them all already. This added up to 200 stamps, so the cost was $100, as compared to the $110 we would have spent had we bought those stamps at the end of January or later. With a longer timeframe than that, the cost benefit of buying those stamps really starts to shrink. Your annual return starts to sag and you have the stamps for longer, which means theres a greater risk of some sort of damage to the stamps (the longer you have them, the more likely they are to be lost, burnt, misused, and so on). This is basically what weve done each time theres been a bump in the cost of forever stamps. Weve bought an entire years worth just before the bump in price. Its not a big savings, but it saves us $5-$10 over the course of a year. Q7: Investing for near term You recommend fully investing in the Roth/529 even though they are less than 10 years out from likely needing the capital? I was thinking of them putting 10 or 20% aside for long term, although they are a bit depressed by the .1% interest our local bank returns to them. Any back of the envelope math as to what $2,000, invested at age 16, is worth at age 70? Annie Yes, I recommend putting money into tax-advantaged education and retirement accounts, even if youre less than ten years from your expected use. The difference is that when youre looking at that short of a timeframe, you choose investments that are intended for short and medium term investments, like safe bonds or money markets. They have a smaller average annual return than stocks, but they certainly beat savings accounts and have very little risk of losing money and youre still able to pull out the gains tax free. As for your other question, if you put in $2,000 into, say, a Roth IRA at age 16, put it aggressively into stocks, and let it ride until age 70, you should see an average annual return of 7% on that money. So, 54 years of a 7% average annual return on $2,000 gives you are you ready for this $77,224.30. Now, its worth noting that $77K wont go as far in 54 years as it goes now, but itll still be a very healthy chunk of money. If you withdraw 3% of it annually (which is a safe bet), thats $2,317 a year. Yep, if he puts that $2,000 away now and starts withdrawing it every year at age 70, hell be able to pull out more than $2,000 a year basically forever and still hand down a big chunk of it to his kids/grandkids. Q8: VA disability and property taxes Can a veteran who is on total VA disability with no other income receive a tax refund on his home owners taxes? Jim Property taxes are a deduction from ones income tax bill. Since, as a person on total disability from the VA, youre already paying no income taxes, you have nothing from which to deduct. I dont know the specifics of your financial state, but if you were to earn a small income, its likely that the deduction from the property taxes would take care of the income taxes on that small income. However, if your income is solely from the VA due to total disability, property tax payments wont help your income tax bill since you dont have an income tax bill. Q9: KitchenAid it is my understanding that [KitchenAid] was bought out by a foreign company some time ago surely since 50 years ago and that the new company has been making them with some parts being plastic that were metal originally. I have seen reviewers saying that the old ones really do last forever if one takes good care of them, whereas some of the newer models plastic parts tend to wear out. I dont remember seeing any mention of whether those plastic parts can be replaced. I think I found this information on consumer information web sites. Annie Whirlpool purchased KitchenAid in 1986. At some point in the late 1990s, it seems that KitchenAid replaced the gearbox in some of their stand mixers with one made of nylon rather than the original one made of metal. The issue isnt that the nylon ones wear out under normal use, but that people tend to stress them. For example, the instructions for the manual state to only use the dough hook attachment on speed setting 1 or 2, but people often turn it to 3 or higher. This causes the gearbox to get overworked and cause breakdown issues. Today, KitchenAid makes two lines of stand mixers the Artisan and the Pro line. The Artisan has a nylon gear box where the Pro line seems to have the old-style metal gear box but the Pro line is substantially more expensive. One note: the reason many people believe that old things are more reliable is due to selective bias. People remember the things that worked well in the past and forget the things that do not, and then they compare those things that worked well to everything now, where some things work well and some things do not. Thats always been true. Q10: Where should I retire? My husband I are targeting early retirement within 10 years but well be figuring out a location in 3-5 years. We want to spend the next few years visiting a variety of possible locations, narrow it down to a shorter list and then try out a few, staying 6 months to a year. Where would you start? What criteria would you consider? What resources are available, particularly those geared towards retirees (we dont really care about the quality of local schools these days). Thanks for any suggestions. Margaret If I were you, Id start by figuring out what you want to do in retirement. What do you want your typical day to look like? Does it involve regular time with family? With friends? Does it involve a lot of time outside in warm weather? Do you guys like cold weather? How do you want to spend your time? Questions like that should narrow down your target locations pretty quickly. Once youve addressed those kinds of quality of life issues, I would focus on cost of living and aim for areas that have a low cost of living while still meeting your other quality of life goals. I like using this cost of living calculator. Since youre retiring early, I wouldnt prioritize access to services too much at this point. Instead, focus on what will give you the aspects of life you want with a low cost of living. Q11: Credit cards for specific purposes I have not used credit cards until a few years ago and wondering if the following expenses qualify as recurring payment for which the card gives a cash-back: 1. Monthly rent paid to the apartment landlord (not sure if the landlord would accept credit card though but rent is the single largest toll on my modest purse); 2. Life insurance premiums. These do accept credit card payments and I am about to apply for two. Sasha I think that using credit cards for very tight specific purposes like this is a good choice, as it raises your credit score and likely provides some sort of reward bonus or cash back bonus for the card. The key, of course, is paying off the balance in full each month. Youll have to check with the credit card in terms of whether or not such payments qualify for the cash back reward. It depends on the specific offer and probably on how you go about the payment. If I were you, the next step Id take is talking to my landlord about credit card payments. My guess is that a small business might not accept credit cards, but a large one will. You may want to consider other strict uses for it as well, such as gas purchases or other regular bills. Q12: Saving old journals I loved to learn that you also use the three morning pages idea! I have been doing this for years and years, since 2000 at least. Question: what do you do with the old journals? I have a box of them in the garage. I realize I dont really look at them but it feels wrong to just burn them or throw them away but I also dont really want my kids to read them because theyre really personal and I sometimes work through hard feelings about motherhood. Jenny Personally, I digitize all of my old journal entries and then destroy the originals. (The exception is journals that Im hand-writing for each of my kids to give to them when theyre adults that contains a summary of the life advice I have for them along with things like family histories and recollections.) My process is that when I finish a journal, I put it aside for a while until I realize Im no longer looking back on it (usually six months or so), then I cut all of the pages out of the binding and scan them all (I use Scanner Pro). Then, I burn the original pages. That way, I can easily browse through them when I want, search through them using text searching, and theyll basically go away when I die (I suppose one of my kids might find them if they trawl through lots of my digital detritus, but most likely theyll just toss out old computer equipment without a second thought). Most of the stuff Ive written is simply me working through personal problems, and I really have no interest in rereading that stuff. The valuable stuff, for me, is when Im working through an intellectual idea, because I often want to revisit the earlier thoughts. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-tax-brackets-compound-interest-warehouse-clubs-stamps-and-more/

[vampyjoong]

Can You Feel What I Feel?

What about a Coups soulmate au where when one of them experiences a really strong emotion, say being furious or sobbing, the other one feels it too. And the farther they are from one another, the stronger the emotion is for the affected one feeling the other’s pain. I love your aus by the way!

the only reason for this gif is because of how much it hURTS ME THAT IS ILLEGAL

2.2k words unedited can you tell coups is my bias

growing up, you were a cry baby

every little thing made you cry

not enough to furiously sob but enough for a child to be called a cry baby

once when your fish did you were so so upset

and baby coups was left in the middle of the shops with his mum crying like his own fish died times 10

he wasn’t sure why he just broke out crying

he was just looking at soup 

when you were 13, you didn’t know who your soulmate was so you started dating someone else who didn’t know either

life was going well, sometimes you had spells of crying intensely, or you’d be very happy suddenly and for a long time

never thought much of it, just mood swings

you and this guy Duncan had been dating for 4 years and you were in love with him, you really were

you had been talking about getting married, and about asking a red string specialist to tie you two together

one day he sent you a text though

‘we need to talk, come see me after class’

you were kinda worried but you did anyway

and when you got back to your shared flat, you knew something was bad from how he looked at you

he sat you down, and told you that he found him

he didn’t realise that the singing in his head was his soulmate until he went into the music department and heard him singing

they met and they were in love at first sight

it was over and you had to move out

you were accepting but as soon as you walked into your friends house, you broke down

four years were over

seungcheol was with seventeen when suddenly it felt like he was dying

his heart was breaking and he was on the floor screaming with tears streaming down his face

if he didn’t know before he knew now that you are the cause of it all

seventeen were about to call the hospital when seungcheol told them its fine he knew why this was happening

after an hour or two it calmed down

thankfully

you were sitting with your friend who was showing you things she liked to try and calm you down and distract you

she was showing you music to cheer you up

she showed you a song called dont wanna cry cos she knew the irony would make you laugh

it did thankfully and you had started to calm down

the song itself was really really nice and you were in love with the band

you got your friend to show you more of them, and soon you were watching one fine day and laughing hard enough to cry

seungcheol was confused as to why he was now laughing his head off after crying intensely

you were asking your friend about them all when it got to the leader

he was the most attractive out of them all to you tbqh

she told you more about him that the others which you were thankful for

he seemed so funny and hilarious and everything you wanted in a guy absolute babe i love him

he was such a dad to the rest of the guys and it was adorable

you were called the mum of your friends so you found it lovely

even your friend noticed that you two were basically perfect for each other

so you started to listen to seventeen more and watch more of their stuff

and with every song and every show, you fell in love more

you and your friend fangirled when new things came out

you had some odd mood swings every now and then

it normally correlated with the award shows but you never realised

until you were watching an awards show live and the second before Seventeens name got announced, you suddenly felt so happy and proud and about to cry

and you did, and your friend looked at you so strangely

“yo you good?”

“i dont fucking know, i get like this sometimes”

your friend, who was majoring in soulmate studies had an idea

“what if, hear me out here

you can feel their emotions”

she sounded like she was the smartest person in the world

you hadn’t thought about it until then but it could make sense

your mood swings would be explained

so you an your friend started logging the times you had swings

normally it was after you had done nothing so you gathered that was the reason

s.coups was always being a proud dad of twelve and sometimes, when he would get mood swings he would be a worried soulmate

he had done some research, both reading and online (cos our bb coups is an intelligent man) and had read about many emotion soulmate connections

he had figured it was emotions but he needed to single it down to which branch

he had it down to two

Either the farther away, the more emotional the recipient was

the closer they were the more emotional

he just didn’t know which one

it was very hard to decipher 

whenever he went on tours, sometimes the feelings would grow weaker and he couldn’t tell if was cos he was closer or farther away

you could sometimes feel his emotions grow weaker and you weren’t sure what happened

you and your friend looked it up and you came to the same two conclusions as seungcheol

your friend the genius decided it was probably the former

she honestly just guessed

you had hope that you would find them one day though

you kept up with seventeen though

you loved them to bits so it only made sense

when the new tour was announced, you were ecstatic 

seungcheol was sitting around feeling kinda nervous about how carats would react to the news

when, not long after it was announced, he had a sudden feeling of happiness and excitement

he had a kinda silly thought and talked to jeonghan about it

maybe his soulmate was a carat

at first jeonghan didn’t think so but then he thought of the others that had found their soulmates so far and how some had been carats already

it was very very likely

so they entertained the thought for a while

every time there was a vlive with coups in it, you would be so happy

and then that would travel over to coups

he made some jokes that weren’t really funny to anyone else but him

and then he got butterflies in his stomach that didn’t belong to him

jeonghans theory was correct

now it was just down to you finding it out

when you got the tickets for the tour, you were about to cry

and coups the poor bb wasn’t much better

a few tears leaked and when woozi looked at him like ‘i can barely comfort one crying member please dont’

he tried to wipe them away and it worked thankfully

he didn’t know why you were crying but he knew it wouldn’t be too bad

the weeks leading up to the concert, the strength of emotions would fluctuate and it was seriously confusing

were they just constantly moving

yes they are honey bunch

you had butterflies every now and then but they weren’t as strong as they used to be

and then

it was the day of the concert

oh sweet lord were you excited

the whole day, seungcheol could feel his soulmates emotions fluctuating between weak and so strong

he’d read about what this could be and it could be happening when they’re close to each other

so he got the most nervous he’d been in weeks

and you could feel that something was going on with them but you had no clue what could be happening to make him that nervous

maybe he just had a public speech to make nehehehehehehe

when you were sitting with it about to starts nerves suddenly spiked and you felt like you were about to throw up

your friend helped calm you down thank the lord

and then it started

you were in love and coups could feel the affection swell

you also felt pride towards the group in front of you

and when he felt that he was even more confused but didn’t question it, it helped him get through the concert with ease

after the encore you were buzzing with energy

you knew it was over but you weren’t sad cos it was the best damn thing of your life and you’d remember it forever

you and the genius friend were walking around when you told her about the fluctuating feelings

and cos she was a nice friend she looked it up on her phone

and then looked back at you and started screaming “HES CLOSE”

she then proceeded to grab your hand and run around in random directions, stopping to ask if you felt anything

honestly i feel like I’m starting to base this friend off myself jeez

when you started to feel the emotions fluctuating more she ran harder, almost making you fall

when you got to a local coffee shops that was almost empty apart from a group of boys you could feel that it was one of them

your friend ran in nvm i dont run this much and almost yelled “YA ANYONE GOT SOME FUCKED EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW” yeah thats me as a friend

the group of boys were very confused until two of them translated it, it seemed like

then one raised his hand and came over with one of the translator friends

if you weren’t sure before, then you were now

it was him

your emotions were all over the place and it was hell

you felt like crying and jumping with joy and like your heart was about to burst out your chest

the guy standing across from you, while his face was covered by a mask and sunglasses, seemed to be se nervous

seungcheol was a nervous wreck tbqh

he had the most beautiful person ever standing in front of him and they could be his soulmate

joshua was next to him and was able to translate quickly for both pairs

he wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying because you were reaching up to take his sunglasses and mask off

he let you

your fingers were so close to touching his skin but didn’t

and when you took his mask off your friend gasped

and swore really really loud 

you were speechless

your friend started explaining to his friend you were just at the concert

his friend laughed and took off his mask

and once more your friend swore

you were almost kicked out

until joshua apologised, gave the owner a dazzling smile and explained the situation

the owner was won over and almost asked joshua to marry him

you and coups were still staring at each other not moving

one of the girls sitting was about to come over and shoving your hand on his face until she was held back by woozi whispering things to her

seungcheol decided he was gonna be the one to kickstart everything this time and slowly raised his hand to your face

you leaned into his hand and as soon as your skin touched you could feel his emotions intensified more than ever before

he could feel yours and it amazed him how much unconditional love he felt and the pride

you could feel the admiration he had towards you and the nerves building up

when it stopped you realised that you had moved into him and he was now hugging you and kissing your forehead

normally you would have minded but you would allow it, as long as it was with him

seventeen was awing at the cute moment

until you realised that you could not speak a lick of korean and you didn’t think seungcheol was that good with english

the best friend, genius extraordinaire, and also possibly telepathically connected to you friend, also figured this out

josh looked understanding before calling over Vernon

they agreed that josh would teach coups english and vernon would teach you korean

it worked out well

you got everyones phone numbers before leaving

you could tell that coups got help from the others when he sent you a cheesy text

you learned a lot thankfully

and when you moved over to seoul, you moved into the shared dorm all the soulmates were living

immediately you were the mum of them all, and also of seventeen

it was funny how easily you and coups had so much control over everyone

they came to you two for advice

even had jeonghan in his soulmates body coming for some girl talk

you were a mum of an ever growing family and you loved it

sometimes when he went too far away you could still feel how he was, and you felt the sadness through the late night phone calls

you were always there for him when you felt the stress of it all come through your bond with him

he was there through your bad moods 

he also knew when you got too angry and were about to literally fight someone 

he always called you or hugged you to calm you

you were each others safety blankets

[travelinghermit]

Trek to Choquequirao

Its Saturday morning June 24, 2017. I am sitting in my favorite cafe once again JC’s cafe on my second cappuccino which is probably a bad idea as im still recovering from a cold thats been plaguing me for the past week. I returned to Cusco Thursday night after a long, challenging, yet ultimatley very rewarding trek into the Apurimac mountains to reach the hidden stone city of Choquequirao. Forgive me for not updating sooner but after what was definitely the most challenging trek I have ever done under the influence of a slight cold, once I returned to the city the sickness finally sunk its fangs into me hard and ive been bed ridden ever since. Yet this morning I feel 98% better and enjoying the beautiful Cusco weather once again.

I left Cusco early Tuesday morning around 630am. I locked my small bags at the hotel, leaving only with my large napsack. I had packed everything the night before preparing ham and avocado sandwiches out of an entire loaf, a big bag of cashew and almonds, cookies, slimjims, chocolate, canned tuna, and two 2 litre waters, plus all my gear that was necessary. Looking back now I packed everything to perfection all my food lasted the entire 3 day duration and all my clothing was required for both the chilly mountain mornings and the hot afternoons.

I picked up my moto shortly before 630am at the garage which I had arranged for an early pickup with the lot guy the day before and then I was off on my way 170k East towards the small mountain town of Cochara being the launching point on the Choquequirao trek.

To book a guided tour in Cusco for the trek would have costed me 815 Soles or $250 American. Thats a bit absurd I thought as I began the initial planning for this trip. I knew I could do it on my own ever since the Salkantay trek to Machu Picchu which while on the trail thought there was absolutely no use for a guide except for info on the site itself. I wanted a challenge, I wanted to be out there on my own with nothing but what I had packed on my back to supply myself for 3, 4, maybe 5 days. It didnt matter. Looking toward Machu Picchu I tried so hard envisioning what it was that Hiram Bingham saw that day he discovered that one of a kind site. Trekking weeks in the jungles of Peru to finally discover what was to make him famous. I have said before since Colombia I felt like I was Indiana Jones and a 3 day trek to the top of a mountain where a 500 year old stone city lay was right up my alley. So to hell with spending $250 dollars on a guide. I spent $25 on my food and another $25 on my entrance fee to Choquequirao itself and that was it!! I pocketed my savings and acquired a hell of a lot of pride.

I reached the village of Cochara around 1030am/11. I was lucky to park my bike behind some car at the little tienda market right at the entrance to the trek. I tore off all my warm clothes that served me on the ride over and got on my shorts and tshirt, swung my backpack on my back and was on my way. Instantly the views were breathtaking. Snowcapped mountains to the far right of me and a wide open gorge with a white rapid river flowing inbetween two huge mountains to the left. Little did I know at the time that was exactly where I was heading. The trail itself was easy peasy as there really was only one trail to tread but just as I feared it wasnt the trail I was afraid of it was the terrain and Oh! How treacherous it was! Especially with my pack carrying 2 litres of water. The first half of the trail on the first day was nothing just trekking straight down the mountain. It was hard not to think through that entire time though that I would have to return at some point back up. At around 3pm I reached the bottom of the gorge where a large green bridge lay connecting the two mountains from the river. This was the point where the challenge begun as instantly after crossing this pretty cool bridge the trail headed directly up the second mountain.

I think I broke up my time across the 3 possible campsites perfectly over the course of 3 days. The guided tour does the trek in 4 days while I completed it in 3. Im pretty proud of that yet looking back on that last day which was honestly hell on my legs and body I can only shudder. Yet im here again at my favorite cafe sipping a coffee which was exactly what kept me going so im very happy about that. Yet my legs are still in bits.

I ended the first day at camp Playa Rosalina about ¼ of the way up the second mountain. I set up my tent overlooking the Apurimac mountains and was so exhausted I was asleep by 530pm. I woke up maybe twice very shortly but for the most part I was out of it until 630am the next morning. Day 2 I had my tent and pack all packed up by 730am and was on my way right back scaling the incredibly large mountain straight up again. Three hours of this hell, my pack wearing me down, sliding on the scattered debris of rock along the way. This wasnt fun. At 1030 I reached camp 3 where I thought the hell was over but it had truely just begun. From here the trail lead straight to Choquequirao. I paid the guards my entrance fee and as I was beginning my way towards the site I looked up the mountain and I could barely make out what looked like stone structures on the very top. I sat down on a rock, my clothes covered in sweat, and I seriously said to myself I dont know if I can make it up there. I used all my energy just to get to this point thinking this was where the site was but I had atleast another hour and change to go. Aah this was rhe point I wanted. Not quite a breaking point but the point where you honestly dont know what the outcome will be. The serious that that I might not make it to the ruins ran through my mind. Through this entire journey my ethos is that whatever I am truely seeking, to get to the heart of it, ill only reach it through activity. I truelly believe that through pushing myself to the brink ill find some kind of spiritual truth. I dont know where I got that from or if thats true in anyway but I did push through despite my quivering legs and finally did reach Choquequirao, and what a sight it was to make the journey truelly worth the struggle.

Not as impressive as Machu Picchu but just as awe inspiring. There it was a stone complex impossibly built ontop of this lone mountain and best yet there might have been five other people up there with me for the entire four hours or so I was there. An epic 2 day journey, sleeping in my tent, up hard terrain to reach a forgotten stone city. Yup this is what I do ALL of this for. I just sat up there, eating my sandwiches, roaming the complex, gazing in awe for hours and never did it bore me. Peru is now my favorite country I have ever visited. Hands down. The fact that there is this kind of ruins to visit on top of mountains just isnt real. It cant be. It goes against all reality. Why is a stone city up ontop of a mountain? Why? And how? And I can just visit it all by myself if I so chose to brave the hard terrain? Peru challenges the imagination more than any other country in this world. More than Egypt, more than India, Japan, what have you, Peru is more real than any imagination, thats what makes it the best.

After spending the day in Choquequirao I walked back down to Camp 3 where I set up my tent by a jaw dropping view of the mountains just as the sun was about to set. That night I slept good knowing the next day would be hell. And thats what it was. I was all packed up by 730am and was on my way back down the mountain. Then for the next six hours I put my legs and back through a nightmare. I reached camp 1 at the bottom of the second mountain and about 1/5 up the first by 1030am which far exceeded all expectations so I had no choice but to keep going. It took me till 2pm to get all the way back up that first mountain which the trail just zigzagged straight up. My legs were quivering all the way through but I perceviered. Again I have never done a more challenging trek in my life but the reward of doing it completely solo truelly makes me proud. Ohoh and how cool was it when I strolled back to the initial start of the trek where all the other people were waiting for the bus and I just came through, grabbed my bike, packed up, ate my final can of tuna and then rode on out of there within minutes. Haha! I will never be that cool ever again in my life.

That was my trek and then I raced all 170k back to Cusco that same day and made it to the hotel right as it got dark. I rocked it perfectly I have to say but thats also when my cough and sinuses got real bad. That night I was up til 330am. I took my antibiotics and for all day yesterday I lay in my bed resting. I feel so much better now. I plan on staying the week in Cusco to get back to 100% and get myself truelly ready for the second phase of the journey as I head for Bolivia. Expect spontaneous posts until then because im just gonna be chilling.