#rambles about my autistic mind

[pinkglittergelpenink]

i don’t really like prison/post-prison spencer…

im sorry😭 i just find nerdy losers (affectionate) more attractive

also i saw on tiktok that another autistic person didn’t like prison/post prison spencer because it felt like they wrote out his autistic traits once they realised he was “the attractive one” (cause god forbid a character is disabled AND attractive).

i’ve always headcanonned him as autistic totally not projecting and it’s basically cannon anyway and found a lot of comfort in him so when i got to season 12 (literally haven’t watched past it) i just couldn’t connect with him the same way and it kinda felt boring, which i hate to say cause genuinely love the show a lot😭

we fuckin with autistic spencer reid?

anyway hopes this makes sense 🫶🫶

[m-o-o-n-f-i-r-e]

help i’ve fallen for another ship comprised of two insane autistic queers that want each other dead despite also being willing to do literally anything for the other even at risk to themselves

[lionacuty]

I AM NOT NORMAL AGAIN I AM OVERHEATING

I HAVE AN MLP AU IDEA AND I BLAME @gracebeth3604 CUZ OF ITS AWESOME MLP AU THAT MOTIVATED ME TO MAKE AN MLP AU HOLY SHIT

Imagine Twilight and her friends had to dismantle 5 different cults while trying to help 5 siblings with their familial issues and what if Twilight and her friends had to help a pony make peace with his Heart, Mind and Soul but it takes a turn to the worse or something

what do you mean I'm combining MLP with COTL and CCCC

[jazzy-dreamer]

Is it just me or do psychiatrists (or I guess whoever is in charge of diagnosing?) never like to be straight forward with their answers. They never say “I can confirm, you have X” or “You’re X”

They always seem to say something like “You definitely display traits of X” or “You have symptoms of X”

I’ve looked this question up and apparently this is on purpose because they want the patients(?) to be able to decide for themselves what they want to do, and to not let a diagnosis completely dictate their mindset or actions or something along those lines. Which is like- understandable!!! But!!!!!! This doesn’t help with my imposter syndrome???????????

When tryna get diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago, I was told that tho I definitely had traits and stuff, it would be difficult to explicitly say if I had ADHD or not because I’m autistic and have anxiety, which can cause many overlaps in symptoms and whatnot which makes everything a billion times more confusing. But despite that, they still prescribed me ADHD medication (YIPPEE :D) but I’m so confused fjdgkfhfj

CAN I say I have ADHD then?? Or just “traits”? It’s when I got diagnosed with OCD all over again fjdgkfhfj. DO I REALLY HAVE OCD???? LIKE YEAH I HAVE ALL THE SYMPTOMS OF OCD AND IT NEGATIVELY IMPACTS MY LIFE EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL DAY BUT WHAT IF I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE IT???

Fun fact, one common thing with OCD is self doubt, the need for constant reassurance and ironically enough imposter syndrome fjdgkfhfj

Kay but like what if I don’t actually have ADHD or OCD- What if I’m just looking for reasons so I don’t feel lazy or delusional- What if I just want an excuse for why I’m extremely anxious and overwhelmed by everything all the time-

I keep wanting to ask my parents the same question “Are you sure I was properly diagnosed and I’m okay to say I have X?” even tho I WAS THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE RESEARCH AND WAS THE ONE TO EVEN ASK ABOUT LOOKING INTO A DIAGNOSIS ANYWAY. Every single time I say “I have OCD” or “I have ADHD” I feel like a frickin liar for some reason

I love my scrambled eggs of a brain and it’s disorganised and imbalance of funky hormones and funky chemicals <3

[fandomkicks]

And to Spencelle, they simply didn’t understand you like I did.

[moe-broey]

HELP maybe this is influenced by how I'm writing this, or maybe it was supposed to be gleaned from canon and I just. Haven't fully thought about it til now. Haven't Deeply analyzed it beyond the blaring alarm bells that go off when reading this. But. Alfonse's,

Straight into.

This isn't him doubling down. This is him BACKTRACKING. This is him going, "oh fuck I think maybe I came on a little too strong maybe I was a bit too vulnerable and that's really scary. How do I fix this" and he's running through all the dialogue options in his head like Okay. Play it Cool. Keep it Casual. Proclaim your undying loyalty and devotion to your Trusted Partner (person he just told in the beginning of this conversation that he didn't intend to become friends with) by making yourself a blade and shield for them. NAILED IT 👍

[autisticlee]

it's ridiculous how many people recommend mindfulness to me

I don't think I need to practice mindfulness when i'm acutely aware of every drop of water that hits my skin in the shower and every sound that exists within hearing distance all at once with the inability to ever turn that awareness off (without it resulting in a severely dissociated state)

[frothingatthemaw]

also. my grandma mentioned us staying here ANOTHER night. god. i think vess and i will place daggers in each other’s hearts if we don’t go home today. we are so fucking tired. and apparently we’re going to see a friend of my mom and grandma’s today and i can’t do more social things!!!! i get left out all the time anyways because i’m still viewed as a kid no matter what or i guess i’m not interesting enough? i dunno. i don’t wanna go and see someone and for me to be there in silence 98% of the time. it’s so fucking!!!! i feel like we would actually die if we stayed here tonight again. we need proper rest and last night was fucking horrible. ugh vess has been promised time and time again it would get to talk to his fp today and that we would be able to rest. and! that’s not happening very well! and it’s making me upset! just :( i dunno, we need to take care of ourselves but we seem like an asshole if we say that. we’re trying to be better at boundaries but :/ it feels like such an asshole thing to do sometimes.

[starlit-warren]

loosely related to the previous two posts but i do think it's funny how like, with most of my fandom interests they're on my one sideblog, but then i made an entirely separate other sideblog for ffxiv, so that i wouldn't flood people with Just ffxiv stuff

then g'raha tia jumped onto my screen and my brain decided "yep this one" and he's been my special interest for over a year and over half of my posts on that blog is just reblogs of other people's fanart of him AND he has lived in my head rent-free and is the first and last thing i think of each day. and i haven't reblogged other fandom stuff to the other blog because it's just been "oops, all g'raha tia".

oops.

[unnamed-proxy]

I love kidscove so much I just wish it wasn’t popularized by TSAMS where it’s the most boring and forced version of their dynamic ever conceived

[snivel1]

MAJOR IDIA AUTISM EVENT‼️‼️

[verathena14]

oh he just like me fr

[cherub014]

“How can you listen to your friends talk about something you know nothing about doesn’t that make you feel so left out of the conversati-” MY FRIENDS LET ME RAMBLE FOR 2 HOURS ABOUT MY OWN UNIVERSE ONLY I KNOW ABOUT ONCE I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT MY FRIENDS INTERESTS EVEN IF I MYSELF DON’T KNOW ABOUT THEM OR ARE NOT AS INVESTED AS THEY ARE IN THEM!!

[goblinbugthing]

the neverending story is the best movie of all time btw

[oldirontender]

good evening train fans

[tackledkey]

The terfs don't like my pearl post. Good