#ramble about shitty people incoming

[pleasetakethis]

all of ‘em for the rnm ask meme 🤭❤️

Yessss!!! Link to the original in case anyone else wants to reblog/play.

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty Character? This is like asking my favorite It's Always Sunny character... because I love them all for their terribleness. Probably Rick, though Rick wouldn't be nearly as compelling without Morty. Favorite side character would be Squanchyyyyy or Mr. Nimbus.

Which Beth is the clone: Domestic Beth or Space Beth? As a mom, I want to say Domestic Beth is the real one because a parent wouldn't leave their kids... except this is Beth Smith we're talking about, so I think Domestic Beth is the clone. I think our "scared little overachiever" pursued freedom when she knew her family had a fallback.

Do you think that Rick-C137 and Rick Prime were previously romantically involved? "Infinite shit happens." Yes, absolutely.

What do you think would be a good name for Birdperson and Tammy's daughter? Phoenixperson II aka PP aka Peepa (terrible The Office reference).

How many seasons do you think Rick and Morty will eventually have? No clue but I'm here for alllll of them.

Rick C-137: smash or pass? Smash.

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty villain? Evil Morty. I love that manipulative little asshole who found a way out.

Your favourite Rick and Morty episode? How do you pick just one ;_; For Rick's character development, I'd say Rickternal Friendshine of the Spotless Mort. Seeing Rick deal with his feelings for others always hits me hard because he spends so much time denying those feelings. For fun, I'd go with Mort Dinner Rick Andre because I love Mr. Nimbus and I also love seeing Jessica become more than just Morty's obsession.

Your least favourite Rick and Morty episode? One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty (the popular choice seems to be Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim's Morty but I love the slut dragons--currently fostering four cats for a friend while said friend is moving, the youngest is female and going through her first heat, and I will randomly mimic the wizard when she's yowling: "You slut! Shame on you! Shame, you slut! You slutty, slutty slut!" I am giving her lots of lovings and she has a heating pad, though, so she's okay).

Who is your least favourite Rick and Morty character? Beth and Jerry without character development (pre-separation).

What is, in your opinion, the worst thing that Rick C-137 has ever done? Real answer: use his grandson the way he does (codependent, grooming, the list goes on and on). Fan answer: torn between taking Morty's memories and the "save a point in time device" from Vat of Acid.

Do you think that Rick and Morty will be affected substantially by having to change the voice actor for Rick and Morty and a bunch of other characters? Affected, yes. Substantially... I don't know but I'll give anything a shot, especially since Adult Swim did the right thing dropping JR. The cool thing about the show is that there are infinite (heh) ways they can address this, if they choose to address it at all, so I'm excited to see what happens next.

What's a good Rick and Morty blog? All the Rick and Morty peeps I follow are awesome! I hesitate to recommend anyone I don't interact with because DNIs pop up all the time based on stuff I saved in my drafts and later go to queue and have to delete because they have some hateful anti/TERF rhetoric going on, so check out my reblogs and likes to find my favorites. :D

Who is the Rick and Morty character that you relate to the most? This ties back in with IASIP. I don't really relate to any of them, I just enjoy them and their fucked up relationships and situations.

The funniest Rick and Morty bit/scene, in your opinion? This is the one that hooked me on the show, the moment I knew I was a goner for these assholes: Butter robot: What is my purpose? Rick: Pass the butter. (Butter robot passes butter) Rick: Thank you. […] Butter robot: What is my purpose? Rick: You pass butter. Butter robot: [looks at its hands] Oh my god. Rick: Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.

Best Rick and Morty season? My favorite so far has been season 6 (they did such a good job with character development, including Rick backsliding into his obsession with Prime--just chef's kiss).

Worst Rick and Morty season? I've enjoyed all of them so far for different reasons. Much like some of my other favorites (The Office, IASIP), I would say push through season 1 if you're unsure and wait until you get through season 2 before you make a decision about the show.

Would you stop watching the show if Justin Roiland returned? I don't know. Depends on whether a public statement was involved and how much responsibility he took for his actions (versus playing it off). I can't listen to Marilyn Manson anymore (because Brian Warner is an abusive POS) and that band was formative during my middle + high school years (almost as important to me as NIN and I would mourn that loss if Trent Reznor turned out to be trash). Roiland coming back might ruin the show for me.

Your favourite Rick and Morty quote? Hard to pick but right now it would be: "Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV." This gets me right in the feels because it's true. Life is short, probably meaningless, so might as well enjoy while we're here and have a chance... because this all ends.

If you had to be one member of the Smith family in the next season, who would you want to be? Ooo, I'd want to be Space Beth.

[alchemiclee]

what if I made an application for people to fill out to become my potential partner that helps me move to canada fbdndnej i dont get how people just meet someone and they start dating. I feel like I need a whole application and review and interview process to try to choose the best candidate ?????? 😅

[andreabandrea]

i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.

i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.

i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.

even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.

your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.

if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.

and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.

yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.

on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children

[34saveme34]

MOST INCOHERENT MARWARE RAMBLING INCOMING

I'm so obsessed and I must talk because I love the amount of potential here

like it's. villain x hero's silly sidekick. that's hilarious

like think about it. Puzzles didn't quite get to Mario like to the others

babe's collateral and did he make Puzzles regret that

their dynamic

just the silly in general. I love the early time ship art "what those antennas do" hell if I know but Mario is keen to find out.

it's silly fun! really cute and fun, especially when it stop Puzzles in his tracks. When he expects fear or devotion and instead he gets such a weird and unexpected and chaotic form of adoration with which his heart (if it is still there) cannot handle. it's beautiful. Mario in general just having feelings for him. It's so good

but also I wanna explore the like, specific eroticism that you can put into the Hunt. The way how Mario hunts Puzzles because he craves Entertainment and he'll have it No Matter What, it's so disgustingly amusing and something I could think about forever. I never really understood this before but these 2 REALLY made me understand. Mario smashing every single TV on his way until he finds His One and the Hunt is over? I'm so fucked up, I'M SO F U C K E D

ngl I realise a certain part of the fandom would probably call me a freak for this. I'm calling them catholic guilt ridden

anyways!

the emotional. oh the emotional. Mario already had a different thing going on when it came to villains

I think he is like, the best candidate in general to help Puzzles in redeeming himself. Mario can be SO caring and like like like

it's just ONE facet of this, this isn't how it starts but over time it would become such an important part of this because he grows like, genuine attachment

but the most important thing in the beginning would be is that he's casual. He also has like. a very specific type of emotional maturity, which some people like to call inconsistent writing, I like to call it a quirk and acknowedge it with my whole heart

but it would like, allow the 2 to speak on like, more casual terms

where Puzzles isn't a danger anymore and Mario just so happens to be there at the right time, say the right words

the rights words for Mario to just so obviously see that Puzzles needs a friend so so badly and letting him have it

this once, maybe he can prove to be a cool friend

and oh would he.... oh my goooood would he aaaughgh

because at his core, like, Puzzles isn't evil for the sake of evil, he's evil to obtain what he wants

so like, if he isn't obtaining anymore kdsldlsk I bet he could be fun. Mario would make him touch grass, they would go places together, have some silly adventures together, some more chaotic than the other

a dynamic that would form between the 2 where Puzzles becomes just a bit too soft that he lets Mario get away with things he shouldn't

maybe even helps him because he finds it fun anyways

considering what he was before..... finding solace in chaos and forgetting perfection for a second there...... he finds perfection right beside him....... maybe like, for example in the middle of a food fight Mario causes because they gave him shitty spaghetti or something and Puzzles just seeing the glee on Mario's face over the fun chaos and just. Feeling something in himself. And he wouldn't, for a long time, realise that it's love. He never felt it before

I can almost imagine him turning to romantic movies and such, trying to figure out if the feeling fits. Because it's so so intense in him, he never felt anything like this. He can't talk to anyone about this, he has no other friends in all this. And oooh dhslksdjsd ooOOhOohK?,s,,s,s dsooooooooohhh,,, dsdldk

guys I think he would create. Idk I just think. ijust think .

having experiences in life now, things that just keep replaying in his head, as he is starting to have a life. he would create something from his own head. And it would be like a love letter to Mario. And he would GET IT. And by it I mean. You know. 😲😳😳😳😳😳😳don't make me say it............

okay okay.......!!! He would get Puzzles's homosexual ass.

[dylawas-reblogs]

My sperm donor, literally the first chance he gets to see me as soon as he's back: So what's the update on the job hunting? Me:

Me: I am fine and normal

Also me: not getting hired anywhere despite having a degree and I turn 26 next year so I need insurance

Also also me: wildly depressed due to said lack of job hunting success and abusive father's lack of understanding

Also also also me: still stuck living in abusive parent's house, again, due to said lack of full time work

Also also also also me: constantly drowning in tasks beyond work and no longer know how to relax

Also also also also ALSO me: just dodged getting COVID from my mother two weeks ago by fleeing her house, but now my older brother has COVID and there's nowhere for me to go

Also also also also also ALSO ME: All plans to treat myself since abusive father isn't in the country are canceled due to brother's COVID and my potential exposure

ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ME: STAYED UP FOR TWO HOURS PAST MIDNIGHT TROUBLESHOOTING WIFI BECAUSE THE ISP SAID THERE WERE NO OUTAGES AND I NEED WIFI TO WORK FROM HOME, ONLY FOR THE ISP TO ANNOUNCE AN OUTAGE ONLY AFTER I CALL MY ABUSIVE PARENT ON VACATION

Me: I AM FINE AND NORMAL I AM FINE AND NORMAL

[marigoidz]

Ramble incoming

I was looking through TDIM stuff again and. Why have I seen Kate kinda getting The Ashley Brown Treatment? Don't get me wrong, it's on a much smaller scale, but it's principally the same. People being overly harsh and nitpicky about her behaviors without considering the circumstances. It's especially shitty in the case of Kate because of what she's already gone through. "How dare she be panicky! How dare she have an increased sense of self-preservation due to trauma and mental illness!! How dare she not always think about other people because her anxiety gets the better of her!!! It's not like that's part of her character or anything!!!!!!!!!" SHUTUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!! People in fandoms do this a lot (almost always with women), acting as if they have no right to behave illogically even in the most traumatic of situations. It's beyond strange. SIIIIIIIGH. whatever. Leave her alone. That's all I'm saying.

[nok-joke]

that fish guy for that character ask game!! sebastian solace i think?

YEAHHHH THE FISH GUY 🎉 Yep his name is Sebastian Solace ! He is a guy who was falsely accused of murder then put on death row for it, only to get snatched up by some corporation, which falsified his death records and used him for experiments

Rambling beneath the cut

How Do I Feel About Them?

He fills me with so much grief you don't understand. Yeah he is The Silly and has a chance to call you "The Skrunkly!" Or smth when walking into his shop, he has really fun dialogue and is a little shit to you when you die. (One of my favorites lines is "(mocking tone) OoOUghHG IS thErE FiRE DamAgE? OOoOUGHh iS thErE FaLL DamAGe??")

But he escaped containment at a chance of freedom he was robbed of. He is gathering research so he can trade it for his freedom. His life was stolen from him and he can *never* be the same again. He frees the other experiments. He's stuck at the bottom of the ocean in some shitty lab for crimes he didn't commit.

Ships?

Did you know he's a married man. I literally only know this because of the wiki have fun finding it out otherwise

Other than that, Sebastian x P.ai.nter is a nice ship. Context: P.ai.nter is an sentient AI that wanted to create landscapes and paintings, but in this research facility was forced to essentially generate an income source for the company (similar to mining bitcoin I think.) As you explore the facility signs with the room number will get hijacked with lines like "I just want to paint landscapes again", "I'm sorry", and "Please die. For my sake" and I just. I hope they both get out of there. I think they could use each other's company. Sebastian saving P.ai.nter from being forced to work and P.ai.nter keeping Sebastian's spirit up in what feels like a hopeless situation, reminding him of what waits above the ocean waves for them

Non-romantic otp?

I think Sebastian and Eyefestation should be friends :]

Eyefestation (I call them eyes for short) is a shark that is also a lab experiment! They have the ability to telepathically communicate with people. Eyes was freed by Sebastian and I like to think in return Eyes helps slow down the people hunting Sebastian down. They're alike at the end of the day. Eyes was scheduled for execution just before Sebastian freed them. They are both subject to the hell that is the experiments they were put through

Unpopular opinion

Guys I know he's hot. Guys. Guys I know "OUGH HOT FISH MAN" Guys. I support every self shipper out there but Guys. Can we PLEASE get some fan content focusing on his backstory and emotions and how he's dealing. I know you all wanna kiss the fish dude but can we pause to get some character analysis going

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE US AN ALTERNATE ENDING WHERE WE CAN HELP P.AI.NTER AND SEBASTIAN PLEASE I DO NOT WANNA HELP FUCKED UP AND EVIL CORP LET ME SAVE THE FISHIE AND THE COMPUTER I LOVE THEM :((((((((((((((((

[elvenbeard]

Long rambly headcanon post about Kerry's sexuality incoming (because I have been thinking about this ever since I first met him in game and I wanna write it down somehwere).

Disclaimer: this is my personal headcanon. You don't have to agree with any of this, this is for fun and games. If you do happen to agree with this though hmu bc I need someone to talk Kerry with desperately xDD

So, first of all: I think Kerry himself doesn't give a fuck about labels. Too old for this shit, confident in his own sexuality, what difference does it make? Labels are great for those who need them, he's not against them at all, but I don't think it's something that's he's thinking about a lot. Is he gonna put on a rainbow shirt for Pride? Yeah why not, especially if his partner would like to go protest and celebrate togther. But I think it's not a top priority of his (at least not anymore, in 2077, at the ripe old age of 89. A young Kerry living in our times was probably louder and a lot more outspoken, but in this post I'm gonna talk about my thoughts on grandpa Kerry).

So, let's dive into the game. When the topic of Louise came up during my first playthrough (the first and only time sadly, I'd love to know more about her as a character - more headcanons incoming in a minute), internally I went like... what? Where does this come from? Not in a judgemental way, just honest surprise, because up until this point, Kerry had only been depicted as attracted to guys (making the saddest puppy eyes at Johnny, making out with a fan backstage, Johnny's various comments on him, their sexual-tension-filled relationship with each other). Beyond that, what we know from Kerry himself, he seemed to have tried to get something going with Ariel (who I think is a man - correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I played the actual conversation between him and Johnny at the villa and I'm not sure if he mentions Ariel's gender there). In the Temperance ending, if V was in a relationship with Kerry, Kerry will recount his other shitty exes of which at least one was also a man, and in the Sun ending, when his (male) manager calls, V can ask if that is "an ex of [his]".

That being said... yeah, Kerry flirts with V regardless of gender. Why? Maybe he doesn't know that himself, maybe he thinks V is cute, maybe it's a power play, maybe he just wants to annoy Johnny who cannot escape the situation, who knows, anything goes. His whole rockstar persona is this carefree, laidback sexgod thing, of course he's gonna be flirty. He is flirty with the Us Cracks girls, too (at least I'm getting the impression - they definitely are flirty with him and he doesn't mind, but it could also all be part of the show). So me personally, yeah, I think Kerry is bisexual, but with a strong preference for guys (sincerely, me, a bisexual who also has a preference for guys). Maybe Louise was his bisexual awakening, or a once-in-a-lifetime thing that never happened again with any other woman, or a mix of both. See also: Kerry turns a female-presenting V down when things get serious. Flirting is fun, she is nice and kind and into it, so why the hell not? But he's not gonna lead her on when he notices she wants more than what he's willing to give. Friends can flirt with each other without it turning romantic or sexual. And yeah, I think Kerry is generally attracted to people regardless of what's in their pants, but as soon as things get serious he is infinitely more likely to go for a guy than for a woman.

That being said (and now we're back at Louise), I think it's absolutely fair to headcanon him as gay, too. There is so little we know about the nature of his only (canonically depicted, spelled-out "that's my ex-wife" style) long-term relationship with a woman. This is the dark future, where you can genetically engineer your child to look however you want it to look. Maybe Kerry and Louise were just two sad and lonely individuals that were like "let's raise kids together to fill the void in our hearts!" - and, using Kerry's words, that went as well as you'd expect it. Could be that Louise is a lesbian who wanted a family and kids, and Kerry, being a close friend of hers, said yeah let's do it (and maybe I won't be so fucking lonely anymore and find a new purpose in being a father)! And for reason xyz it was easier to raise the kids if they were also married (something something about getting married to be allowed to have kids - I etiher heard or read something in game once about a 1-child-license or something, again, dark future fuckery could be involved here). Also, historically, there are certainly countless examples of queer men marrying queer women to get their conservative families off their backs. With how little we know about Louise, not even how old she was when they got together, it could also be something like that. And (turning back now to Kerry's flirty behaviour around women when someone else is watching) everything else could have been part of the show - for families, for the media, for the public, for the fans, everything goes.

What I'm trying to say, there's hundreds of ways to headcanon a fictional character's sexuality. Maybe Louise and Kerry were friends with benefits, maybe they fell madly in love, maybe there's more women in Kerry's past than what the game depicts (there's countless women's clothing items across his villa - that could be anything from leftovers of wild parties in which he wasn't involved to him taking home groupies and everything beyond that and inbetween).

You could also just say "Kerry is gay cause I say so, that's as deep as it gets" and that is just as valid. Don't be like me and spend your sleepless nights thinking about this because my brain works in mysterious ways. If you wanna headcanon him as gay because it brings you comfort, wholeheartedly, go for it. If you wanna heacanon him as not turning down your female V because it brings you comfort, go for it, by all means! If you wanna headcanon him as cis, trans, everything inbetween, hell yes, be my guest!!

Kerry is a fictional character, he's not gonna be offended or hurt. And every real person who gets upset about how someone else likes to play with their favourite pixel ken doll then, well... touch some grass @ that person. Headcanons do not take away representation from marginalized groups. Block and blacklist what you don't wanna see and move on, it's so easy (and on that note, anyone who wants to be weird or hateful on this post is gonna get blocked, too xD).

As I said, this is all my thoughts and opinions, if you don't agree, that's fair, I get it, I don't agree with 80% of headcanons I come across (not even just regarding a characters sexuality, but in general). But yeh I'd also love to talk if you have similar views on him!

On that note... happy pride xD🏳️‍🌈 be kind to each other!

[commander-gloryforge]

okay bit of a ramble incoming but. me and writing, we havent had the best relationship lately, mostly because ive been dealing with imposter syndrome a lot, and writer spaces dont seem to be as welcome as they used to be to me. but for the past months ive been trying to get into a more healthy mindset about writing. its just difficult because many of the author communities im apart of dont seem to agree with said mindset.

so. heres a thing that happened. theres this book series, a ya romantasy, that kind of went viral on booktube/booktok for being mostly shitty. i've watched a couple of reviews of it, most of them negative, can generally agree with most criticisms of the book, and it is, in my mind, ticked off as a "bad book". dont be like that author, dont do what she does, dont write like this, everyone will hate your book.

me and my father were sitting in the garden, next to eachother, me writing and him listening to an audiobook. he tells me about how good it is and how much he likes it. theres dragons, its so cool, its such an interesting world, he's at book two now and cant wait for the third one to be released. to my surprise, its the exact book that booktubers everywhere talk shit about. now ive seen people on the internet that liked the book, but theyre just some guys on the web and i dont know them and their opinion doesnt mean much. but my dad? i know him. i know his tastes. and he likes it.

and i think that made me realise something. i still dont like that book, but someone, a person whose taste and opinions i (usually) value, does. he doesnt care about the plot holes that others see, he doesnt know about the discourse surrounding certain tropes, he likes it because its fantasy, and theres dragons, and theres magic, the fact that theres a disabled protagonist is cool to him, and THERES DRAGONS! and so many other people also like it. for whatever reason.

its a "bad book", apparently, thats what most people call it, but to some its a good book. and if someone just constantly keeps finding issues with a book, then it wasnt for them in the first place wasnt it? critiques and negative reviews and rants are still valid and, i'd say, needed. but in the end, they dont matter much. the book isnt offensive or "problematic" or anything but it really is just kinda bad and people still like it and it really is fine.

my writing is gonna be bad to someone. my writing style is convoluted and kind of silly and just. bad. okay. and there are people that still like it. that doesnt mean i dont want to improve and get better as a writer, i do. for the people that like my stuff, for myself, i will get better, but like. its fine. im fine. someone will like what i write. there will be bad parts of my writing that some people will hate, and some will ignore, and thats the fact for every book and every kind of art.

ill be fine. ill just keep writing and things will be fine.

[bluegekk0]

bit of a ramble incoming, feel free to ignore. i'll put it under a read more thing in case it gets long

i think i've reached a point where i made such a specific image of the au characters in my head that i can't enjoy them outside of it anymore. like, it's really hard for me to separate the two, if i hear "grimm" i think of the au grimm, it's hard to think of him outside of the au context. idk if i'm making sense

but weirdly enough i'm kind of glad that's the case? i can definitely feel my interest in the game and especially fan content slipping away, and i would've likely moved on to something else by now. but i love the au, i love it so much, i still think about it daily and all of the lore and personalities i made for these characters keeps me going

i guess feeling uncomfortable with some ships or headcanons because of how strongly i associate the characters with my versions is something i just have to live with. usually it's not bad, it's quite easy to ignore it since i don't specifically go looking for hk fanart and fanfics these days. i guess what bothers me the most is when people leave that kinda stuff under my art. y'know the usual pk discourse and jokes kind of comments especially. it's unavoidable, and i can't blame people for not knowing all of the lore of my au, but i think that's the most irritating and upsetting part of all of this. it's the reason why i stopped posting as much art in some spaces, all the jokes about pk killing children real get old, and a bit upsetting whenever they're targeted at fpk (since the whole thing is so much more nuanced in the au)

in some ways i also feel like i alienated myself a little. i'm so deep in the grimm x fpk rabbit hole that i don't have much in common with people who stick to wyrmroot. hell, the way i wrote wl in the au kind of makes me dislike her (as a person, that is. i still think she's a cool character, i just made her a bit of a shitty person since i kinda like her as the more unpleasant of the two. the cold and uncaring tree being), and i feel like a lot of those people wouldn't like what i've done with it. same goes for hornet and all the headcanons and interpretations where she hates her father. i see where those come from, but i kind of feel like an outlier with how i portray her in the au. and of course there's fpk himself. i don't have to tell you how much he differs from your usual pk interpretations. but he means so much to me that i genuinely can't see him any other way

that being said, i love the au too much to stop because of any of this, and the fact that there are people who enjoy it gives me another reason to keep going. it's my comfort au, and i'm so, so glad i can share that feeling with you all, and reveal more about it as i write it. i've never been so invested in anything before, not to this extent, so it makes me so happy that there is an audience that supports it. i love you guys so much, you have no idea. i can't thank you enough

honestly i don't know what point i'm trying to make here. i just wanted to put it into words, i suppose. i may have already mentioned some of this before, but it's still constantly on my mind and i wanted to get it out of my system. but again, thank you guys for still being here. it means so much to me

[youremyheaven]

(same ketu rising anon who sent you the ask just now)

ALSOOOOO I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY 2 CENTS TO THE VENUS CONVO (i related to some parts of the venus and jupiter posts you had but my memory is not refreshed rn)

Bc first of all Indian men are trash, second of all, rich people are trash and a rich Indian man and his family are probably capable of god knows what insanity.

i laughed a lot at this but fucking hell dude you're so right.

also i adore art (well, writing, in my case). i think you're right it's really important to stay connected with art. i treat my art (writing) to an obsession's extent sometimes (might this be… ketu influence? 🤩 SORRYYYY forgive this amateur) and without it i get very restless.

and i have so many issues after the two relationships i mentioned and right now i am too busy to date????? BUT I STILL KEEP THINKING OF THE FUTURE AND DREADING SHIT? i keep thinking "oh i'll get married to some man who's going to use me. use my status. use my money." {not that i have much of either rn lmfao} and just generally worrying about shit that i dont need to think of?

100% agree with you about financial independence. i have no trust for people with money or power. who tf decided im the special person who'll make them good? 😂 real life isn't that kind. if someone DOES turn out to be nice, that's lovely. but it's an exception.

(on a more general note, i feel like my time on the internet has ruined me because real men will never treat me as gently as the silly fictional men and that just sucks sometimes LMAOOOO like i fantasise about having a husband in the future who doesnt hate the kids and doesnt hate me but idk man. idk if it's ever real. you lose faith in reality sometimes after caring about the ideal for so long. or something. sorry im just rambling now aghfhjghjda sorry you had to deal with this)

"also i adore art (well, writing, in my case). i think you're right it's really important to stay connected with art. i treat my art (writing) to an obsession's extent sometimes (might this be… ketu influence? 🤩 SORRYYYY forgive this amateur) and without it i get very restless."

being very art oriented = Venus and being obsessed with it is also Venusian, Ketu does add to it in your case, I think but Ketu's nature is just a perpetual state of detachment and obsession, so its kind of on and off

"BUT I STILL KEEP THINKING OF THE FUTURE AND DREADING SHIT? i keep thinking "oh i'll get married to some man who's going to use me. use my status. use my money." {not that i have much of either rn lmfao} and just generally worrying about shit that i dont need to think of?"

this is literally THE most Venusian thing everrr lmao,, Venusian women know that others see them as a status symbol lmao and they only get along with and get romantically involved with other Venusians bc they're afraid of how non-Venusians would use them for clout/money/looks etc

100% agree with you about financial independence. i have no trust for people with money or power. who tf decided im the special person who'll make them good? 😂 real life isn't that kind. if someone DOES turn out to be nice, that's lovely. but it's an exception.

marrying for anything other than love is simply not worth it. men are going to be shitty regardless,, imagine marrying for money and not getting any AND you can't stand him AND have horrible sex??? like do women think rich men are stupid??? you wont get a penny out of him if things end,, they're sooo good at hiding away their assets and not paying alimony or fucking your life up just for fun. marry someone in your income bracket so that they do not have the power to ruin you forever and you have nothing to fight back with.

bestieee you just have to be delusional enough to believe that you will find a good man. most men are lowkey garbage but there ARE good people out there and you have to have faith that you will meet the right person who adores you, loves you (and the kids) and will do anything to make life easier for you. HE EXISTS.

8 billion people exist, so purely statistically speaking, he has to exist as well 😌

its okiee dw about rambling 🥺😘i find it cute how you guys tell me whats on your mind, makes me feel like im your mom 🤰🏻👩🏻‍🍼i hope my future kids also love talking to me and telling me whatever's on their mind 🥰

[piperstrangeart]

I'm about to do some complaining about brains and money and capitalism. Feel free to skip, I just need to vent and since I grew up on livejournal typing nonsense to an invisible audience is therapeutic. I'll probably delete this post tomorrow because I always feel so awkward about posting sad rubbish online and I'll feel better in the morning anyway but have some Piper angst in the mean time.

While we can get by on Fliss' income, just about, this job I didn't get today would've meant we'd not have to stress about money and we'd be able to do Fun things. There'll be other jobs and we can cope (we've been worse off financially before and survived, we can do it again), and I knew I was risking this when I stopped working previously, but my health was Very Not Good so prioritising that was more important at the time.

My car's due the MOT this month and god knows if I can afford to fix it if anything needs fixing

Vet bills are creeping up

I'm missing out on going to a LARP I was really looking forward to because I can't afford the fee or the travel expenses

And I'm just so frustrated, I hate worrying about money, I was doing well, I was in a good place financially, and then shitty workplaces triggered all the goddamn trauma and now I'm right back at the beginning again. Money is such a crap reason to have to worry about, I have so many more important things but nooo, gotta throw imaginary nonsense at the people in power so I can afford the basic necessities 😐

The very phrase "cost of living" makes me fucking angry because there shouldn't BE a cost of living, let alone a cost of living crisis, and the fact that I'm considered a radical leftist thinking that is GROSS. I hate it. "Existing shouldn't be conditional on productivity" shouldn't be a fucking controversial statement but here we are.

It's all fucking shit 🥲

At least there are cats, though. 🐈‍⬛

Thanks for listening to my rambles.

[radentity]

AAAAA

Having trouble finding the blog that recommended this, but here it is:

https://theconversation.com/no-you-cant-identify-as-transracial-but-you-can-affirm-your-gender-163729

Every day, a diaracialmisist begs diaracial people to read some shitty article. Every day, some diaracial person sighs and reads the article, only to be presented with the same repeated, baseless arguments.

Also, I just read that someone else responded to this article while I was writing this. https://www.tumblr.com/unabashedfirebreak/704916572285861888/talking-about-an-anti-trace-article It’s probably better than what I wrote lol

Huge ramble incoming:

“Trans[gender] and gender diverse experiences don’t equate with someone deciding to change their appearance to be part of a group whose experiences, community and struggles they can’t fully understand.”

That’s literally what being MTF is. Are these anti-transid people reading what they’re writing? TERFs constantly complain about trans women “womanfacing.” How about “Transwomen are problematic because they change their appearance to be a part of a group whose experiences, community and struggles they can’t fully understand.” Also, not every diaracial person transitions physically.

.

“The very idea of being able to transition to a difference race discredits trans[gender] and gender diverse people’s experiences of gender affirmation.”

‘Ew, these BAD TRANSES are going to make us GOOD TRANSES look bad. Quick, start saying our transnesses are different somehow!’

.

“London, who is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, has actively chosen a  “transracial” identity. But trans and gender diverse people’s decision to transition (whether that be social, medical and/or legal) is almost always involuntary and out of necessity to live their lives authentically.  ”

“Conflating racial identity with gender identity implies that being trans[gender] is a choice, and therefore so is race.”

Literally what? Being diaracial is as much a choice for people as being transgender is.

Not sure what the source is for “has actively chosen a ‘transracial’ identity” is. Has London also ‘actively chosen a nonbinary identity’?

.

“The reality is that transitioning as a trans person is a difficult and taxing process, one that can be dangerous but also lifesaving and celebrated.”

Implying that diaracial transition isn’t dangerous but also lifesaving?

.

“They avoid the burden of discrimination while reaping the rewards of white privilege, taking the necessary resources and voices from the communities who need it.”

Ah, yes, Martina Big definitely passes as white and has loads of white privilidge. When racists see her, they automatically become aware of her assigned race and treat her as such. /s

Let’s change it to be about transgender people too! ‘Transwomen people avoid the burden of misogyny while reaping the rewards of male privilidge, taking the necessary resources and voices from women who need it.’

.

“There is a difference between affirming your gender as a trans person, which doesn’t harm anyone else, and choosing to live and appropriate another culture.”

And TERFs say transwomen appropriate womanhood. I don’t see any difference.

.

“What’s more, the word “transracial” is already in use, usually referring to adoption practices in which white parents adopt children of colour. So it’s misleading when used to talk about someone changing their appearance.”

Maybe if “journalists” actually did research, they’d find that much of the community now uses ‘diaracial’ to avoid confusion. But no, there is never any opinions from the other side.

[theyarerealtome]

Ok, but let’s talk for a minute about just how good Nick and Charlie are for each other?? Not only romantically, but how their lifepaths are genuinely changed for the better because of their relationship?

Like, we know Charlie gave Nick the positive queer experience he himself never got to have and supported him through figuring out his sexuality. And Nick helps Charlie rebuild himself after Ben and the bullying, and his eating disorder.

It made me think about how things could have gone if they hadn’t met when they did. Beyond the aw-they-wouldn’t-get-to-meet-their-soulmate-☹ and to the sad, wider implications of not knowing each other.

Sorry for the incoming Way Too Long Ramble about what if Mr Lange had done the seating plan differently.

TW for discussions of canon eating disorders, self-harm and sexual assault.

Charlie

First off, I think Charlie would still break things off with Ben after seeing him with a girlfriend. But the big difference is there’s no Nick to discover Ben assaulting him, and to subsequently confide in about their relationship and reaffirm that Ben is the terrible, awful person.

So, we’re looking at a Charlie who is still carrying this toxic secret alone that could damage and tear away at his self-esteem even more than canon where he fairly quickly gets to build a healthy, loving relationship with Nick who actively combats a lot of the shit that Ben told him

(I wonder if eventually Charlie would have told Tori more?? About the guy who ‘made him feel like it would be better if he didn’t exist’. I hope so, because Charlie, my beloved, while you are an actual angel for not outing that piece of dickweed to anyone, you’re allowed to tell someone)

(Don’t even want to get into if the assault would have progressed further without Nick there. Probably Ben wouldn’t have gone beyond kissing. But it would still be more traumatic, and Nick’s discovery meant Ben was warier about coming near Charlie afterwards. Whereas no Nick means Charlie is constantly on guard avoiding Ben)

More under the cut. 

Unquestionably Charlie still develops his eating disorder - and chances are it’s quicker and more severe than in canon, with all this extra crap going on.

The one bit of hope is that while it might take longer for other non-Nick people to notice his ED, I’m sure they would. Charlie still has a good support network, and someone – Tori, Tao, Elle, Isaac/Aled, Mr Ajayi – would pick up on it.

But still getting help, and his recovery process (especially around self-harm) would be much longer, and more painful given Nick was the one who first got through to Charlie and helped him talk to his parents.

And Tori and Nick were both the biggest supports for Charlie through it all – without Nick, poor Tori has so much more on her shoulders.

The events of Solitaire end up being even darker, as Nick/Charlie are basically the main bright spot in all that. So, you have an even sadder Charlie and Tori

When the air clears after an incredibly shitty few years you’d have a 16/17-year-old Charlie who is working on his ED, self-harm, and mental health, but bottom line is it’s a much more painful journey, and he’s probably more impacted by everything with Ben.

In terms of the wider friend group, probably the Paris Squad Charlie/Tao/Tara/Darcy/Aled-Isaac/Sahar unit still develops. Because Elle was really the one who connected the girls with the guys. So, at least Charlie would have that

But with wider popularity? Canonically he ends up Head Boy and is friendly with a lot of people. I’m thinking without joining the rugby team, expanding his social circle, and having Nick to build his confidence we’re seeing a more reserved version of Charlie. Maybe he’d just be like a prefect or something but not quite head boy?

So, by the end of high school you’ve got a recovering Charlie heading off to uni, but he’s carrying a lot of self-loathing and emotional scars that Nick chipped away at. 

Nick

It feels like in the shorter-term Nick’s situation would be better than Charlie’s – but longer term everything goes to shit.

Initially not much would change – he’d play rugby, he’d have his friends who he doesn’t actually like but is accepted by, he’s in a group where he can never be fully himself

Basically, Nick is ok but he’s not happy – and not even fully aware of how ‘not-happy’ he is

Harry would still have pushed Tara & Nick together at his birthday and Tara might still have come out to him. But without Nick’s sexuality crisis or talking about his openly gay “probably-my-best-friend-right-now” I don’t think they would have connected so quickly

And he never would have been at the orchestra practice to see her again and plan lunch together, milkshake dates etc. So that means no befriending Tara/Darcy and not connecting with the Paris Squad

Things with Imogen would have developed in a similar way: chances are peak peer-pressured Nick would still be bulldozed into going on their date, but without his relationship with Charlie to enable him to cancel, you’re looking at it being dragged out way longer - it’s a question of how many dates they go on before Nick calls things off

Yeah, he would have stopped before they actually became boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s still a much stickier situation all round and one that leaves him more alienated

Then he’d still go on the Paris trip but probably ends up rooming with Harry and co. so much less fun all round  

On the friend’s front – he’d still have Sai/Otis-Omar/Christian, but in canon it seems like their friendship deepened when Nick got together with Charlie, and a line was drawn over who Nick’s true friends were?? Without that happening, their friendship likely stays more surface level and shallow

Similarly, I’m not seeing a Charlie-less version of Nick having the confidence to confront Stéphane and David

Coming out as bi, having Charlie to confide in about his feelings, and just generally being able to be more himself – all that contributed to Nick calling both of them out on their shit. Without those circumstances, you’ve got a more people-pleasing Nick who pushes his own feelings down, so nothing real gets addressed and both relationships remain toxic and distant.

Obviously the massive, massive question is when and how Nick has his “full-on gay crisis.” And that’s kind of impossible to say. It could still be at Truham over another guy, or might not be until after school (maybe at uni)

There are a hundred ways that could go – but I think the key thing is that without Charlie, the chances are Nick’s sexuality journey wouldn’t be nearly as positive or healthy. (Honestly, it’s often missed just how supportive and essential Charlie was through it all, and how wonderful it was that Nick got such a sweet first (only) boyfriend).

Also remember, Charlie is the only out guy at Truham – if Nick falls for someone else at school then they’re either straight or closeted, and Nick is hit with feelings that he has to deal with on his own

There’s no Charlie to make the first move, no Charlie to hold Nick while he’s breaking down, no Charlie to tell him it’s ok to figure things out, no Paris Squad to provide queer community, no Tara/Darcy to talk to. It’s Nick alone in his room with BuzzFeed quizzes and articles on conversion therapy

Luckily he does still have Sarah and he might confide in her at an earlier point than in canon, but in terms of actual friends to talk to? ☹

Again, as with Charlie, Nick would eventually be ok. He’d figure it out – but it would be a hell of a lot of lonelier, and he’d probably never come out or act on anything while still at Truham

If his sexuality crisis happened post-school (likely uni) …possibly that would be better?? Uni is less of a cesspool, he wouldn’t be as trapped with people like Harry, and could at least connect with LGBTQI+ groups on campus etc. But on the flipside, it’s a Nick whose had years more of repressing his true self so there would be more to untangle

Overall, whether he’s realised he’s bi or not, by the end of school you’re left with Nick who is doing fine enough and seems content, but is much less anchored in himself, represses important parts of who he is, and lacks a real, close community

Idk, what other people think. This is all assuming that Nick and Charlie don’t meet later during school (e.g., if Nick reached out to the collection of queer students at Truham during his bi crisis). 

But basically, all that long ramble was saying that a Nick and Charlie without each other is a very sad thing to think about, and they’re 100% a couple who make each other better, happier versions of themselves <3

(Also sorry this is a frankenstein combo of Netflix and comics heartstopper. basically it just takes everything across both universes into account. Plus Solitaire, This Winter, N&C etc. 

[shkika]

I might end up taking u up on that offer this is so so soo fun

I really enjoy it when people make moon mad at fp..like how could she not be yes she cares about fp a lot but siblings don't exactly...do that to eachother very often I think (but maybe they do /j the woes of being an only child)

I think not being able to harm artificer did him good in the end (therapy dog!!) like he would have definitely just wanted to send that thing FLYING into the sun but he couldn't!! he was forced to just deal with it and eventually he realises hey. Maybe this thing isn't so bad... honestly I think he really needed something like that right then given his tendency to push people away (thinking abt how he BLEW UP srs' poor overseer. That made me jump actually i didnt expect it i sat still for long enough to get myself blown up too it was kind of funny...aside from the trek back of course) (ALSO THE ADS HELP thats golden)

Adding onto that like....him being a silly little loser that wants to do everything by himself and the like loving the attention etc I really think that like... the time period he was built in only made it worse??

Like......i feel that being built when he was added to a sort of pressure of needing to feel superior, to not be one of those bugs in mazes. To have something with like a genuine true path ahead instead of blindly grasping for answers

Like...I guess he'd want to prove just how good he is by doing it without any sort of help and he just has so MUCH to figure out by himself that he just...builds that pressure more and more and that's gotta be too much at some point

^^ I like the idea of the triple affirmative stuff happening like...around this point in time (forgive me if my timeline is terribly off) but anyways like..it kind of just fucks up everything for the dude...like all he's worked for is kinda just for nothing so then it leads to everything with the rot as like some sort of last resort. Like he knows the risks but he just cant bring himself to care like he's in such a vunerable state he doesn't think about how it'd affect moon until all of a sudden there's a forced message being sent his way, but even then I guess being younger than like everyone in the group he doesn't fully grasp like oh. This is as bad as it is. Until moons can comes crashing down and hes left infecting himself with the stuff

Anyway you are so very right with the echo actually I haven't thought very much on the shaded citadel but it must have...not been pleasant going through the rains knowing that there's so many others unaffected by it

Sorry this response is so late actually I've been multitasking to all hell but RRAGHGJ squishing the iterators in my hand like stress balls I am so normal about this game

please do! <3 ramble incoming

Moon being angry at Pebbles is fun. I love seeing different interpertations! Though I do think she doesn’t hold actual bitterness towards him in my personal belief.

The idea that she isn’t actually *angry* angry at him makes her very tragic to me. By all means she knows his actions are inexcusable. What she went through was horrifying and painful and she acknowledges that. Nsh even mentions she’s always had way too much patience for him and that she really tried to be a good big sister to him.

So as his big sister and someone who guided him in early days I can see her being unable to feel spite towards him. He fucked up, hes now sick and rotting and it all fills her with grief. It’s all just unfortunate and sad! (definitely see moon being a little hater with salty comments sometimes. as she does but most of her anger is reserved for their shitty parents)

Pebbles desperately wanting to feel superior is something really fun to me!! Absolutely see it! (idk why u went and became close friends with guy who called you dumb and naive but u do you 🤷 maybe u like that. likr OoOo hes the only one that listens to my theories and he calls me dumb <33) We know he learns about what happened to sliver from suns, so I can only assume that happened before he was made..? But the game is vague enough for u to hc it as you want honestly.

What he did was out of desperation for sure! He never wanted to even involve Moon according to what he says while commenting on a pearl by Arti. It was just kind of impossible.

I think what Suns told him just left a big scar on the poor guy. Not only is he being told he never mattered, he has to accept he’ll slowly break down and not even die while still trying to solve their issue he doesn’t even care about. He wanted the feeling of power over his own self back and he wanted to desperately escape. Feeling helpless is the worst.

He thought he could be fast enough and not harm Moon and then failed! He doomed her and got a very bad case of the rot ( consequences of my actions) ((another bracket but the poor fucker tried to cure himself all the way until arti campaign! sad!!)) along with his failure becoming gossip material and a sensation as we learn from spearmaster logs. Which is why I assume he closes all communications.

Also Moon forced many many broadcasts onto him while dying :) not only partly the reason why he failed the project, it also further cemented his helplesness.. because he can’t do anything to help! A common phrase you hear from him is “I can’t even help myself”.

It’s a little treat in almost all scug campaigns iirc.

Also echoes are all so interesting I love them and their silly little opinions. Shout out to the one who told arti to stop being such an angry bitch <3

[lonelyplanetfag]

here's ghoul's shitty little backstory. i literally rambled for three straight hours but one singular person said i should post it one time

ghoul was born in the desert and was (somehow) able to make it into his teen years before anything super fucked up happened to him.

his crew was big compared to most- a whole six people- and he was the youngest. it's a fucking miracle how all of them could fit in the little repair shop they lived it. it's a fucking miracle that the thing was still standing, held together by spite and a shitload of spray paint. the six of them mostly stuck to Zone 3, but started showing up around 1 when ghoul made friends with a kid he met by a vending machine. the friendship was complicated at best- poor kid's parents were neutrals- but they made it work. ghoul picked up a fascination with explosives from the oldest of the group, and he got pretty damn good with 'em. the natural next step was for him to be taught how to make that shit on his own, and he was selling bombs at 13.

his business relied entirely on word of mouth, but it worked wonders. he took just about whatever people could offer in exchange, and he only got fucked over twice! he'd accept carbons, supplies, and the occasional promise of a favor when it suited him. someone started a rumor that he'd take other kinds of favors too, but he shut it down within the week.

ghoul became his crew's main source of income once he started gaining a reputation. and jesus fuck did he gain a reputation. his shit was so high-quality that people started traveling across the Zones to buy from him. a year went by and he found his face plastered on an EXTERMINATE poster. he was pretty fuckin proud. maybe he snagged the ugly thing for himself, maybe he didn't. maybe he tacked it to the wall of his makeshift workshop, maybe he didn't. he'd never tell- and he'd probably get defensive if you asked. he'd never been the best at reactions.

once he hit 15, though, ghoul got a stranger-than-usual business request. somebody from Zone 5 wanted him to come to them. it was unconventional and made him a little uneasy, but his crew was low on supplies. they had a shit ton of mouths to feed and ghoul wanted to be helpful.

they drove him out there- all six neon fucks crammed together- and he couldn't figure out why his skin was crawling so bad. he didn't mention it, and the trade-off went just as planned.

the 'joy he met up with seemed a little off- and they talked like a city kid- but that wasn't entirely unusual for somebody new to the Zones. especially one from the city. he figured that was why they'd wanted him to travel so far in the first place. most newer 'joys are hesitant to be around Zone 3.

on the way back, ghoul noticed that 5 was, strangely enough, always full of newcomers. they got halfway into 4 when he supposed it made sense. Zone 5 got former city kids away from their old lives without suffocating them with radiation. lots of em died from it anyway, but he figured that's besides the point. they were all gonna die from it anyway. by the time they hit 3, ghoul's skin was crawling again.

he figured out the reason for it when his crew made it back home. their run-down repair shop had been absolutely fucking decimated. hell, the thing looked like it hadn't been there at all.

the driver got out of the car to asses the damage, and they were the first to go. within seconds, they went down in a blur of pink hair and lasers.

dracs swarmed the car- led by an exterminator ghoul didn't recognize- and the next thing he knew, another member of his crew was taking a fucking bullet for him. everything was going by in flashes. he couldn't get his eyes to focus. he couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't do anything. rough hands yanked him from the car and he blacked out. he'd never been the best at reactions.

once he came to, ghoul was immediately blinded by the brightest fluorescents he'd ever seen. someone was there with him- wherever he was- and her smile was sharper than his headache. she seemed nice enough. nice in a way that made him want to throw up, but nice enough. she told him that instead of putting him through re-ed, BL/ind elected to make an example of him. he didn't know what she meant- the Zones didn't provide a great education- but she said he was very special.

he could never remember much after that. a member of his crew had survived, and they were held in the room across from his; perfectly positioned for each to watch the demise of the other. which is exactly what they did. ghoul would never forget seeing them forced to relapse on shit they'd spent forever getting rid of. maybe it was the light, but even their hair seemed to dull. maybe the color had just faded, but it was hardly green anymore.

he remembered finding a camera in his room and knowing that he was being filmed. it didn't take much asking around for him to find out from a newer capture that back in the Zones, his reputation was stronger than ever. BL/ind had made him a celebrity. they'd put him on television. they'd called him violent. said the 'joys he lived with had mutilated him. that he hardly understood language. that his bombs were responsible for the destruction of his own home.

he had to get out. he was pretty sure he'd tried it once before, but he couldn't remember anything from the months after. someone told him that his head could block out the bad shit; he knew it couldn't have been good regardless, cuz he wasn't as stupid as BL/ind made him out to be.

he'd never forget the escape. the new blaster he snagged off one drac and the older model he stole from another- thank fuck for all those bombs, they made him quick with his hands- and the fucking noise. his hearing was fucked from the years of explosives, but he'd never heard anything like it. the screaming, the gunshots, the ricochets, the bodies, it was all so damn much and it was all because of him. he was in control this time. everything was going by in flashes again, but his eyes focused. he could breathe, he could move, he could do everything. he didn't black out. maybe he wasn't all that terrible at reactions.

until he caught a flash of barely-there-green falling to the ground. he couldn't do it. he couldn't get out without them. his eyes unfocused, and the rest of the fight was gone. fuck reactions.

ghoul came to his senses in Zone 1. someone talked to him, said they knew each other- something about vending machines? he couldn't tell. his eyes unfocused again.

he spent the next few years with himself, trying to get back in control of his body, trying to stop shaking, trying to get off BL/ind's shit (he always managed to get his hands on some) and he ended up at the Crash Track. the vending machine kid was there a lot. they raced dirty.

ghoul felt dazed. his eyes never fully focused- what was with that- but he stayed fairly conscious. conscious enough to notice the vending machine kid always seemed to target another racer in specific. ghoul watched him more than he watched the vending machine kid. he was cool, and he was fucking good.

after a few races, ghoul got close enough to read the "GOOD LUCK" emblazoned across the visor of his helmet. when he complimented it, the guy introduced his sibling as the one who had hand-painted it. they were fast friends, and before he knew it, ghoul was introduced to the third member of their crew too. 

he kept showing up at the track, and, eventually, he had a family again.

tldr: crew 1 -> SING-like events -> BL/ind Fucked Him Up -> fab four