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chan-skz · 4 years ago

Text

Going back the way we've come

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn't want to go, but forced by your parents, you gave in. Your relationship with Hyunjin hadn't started very well, after reuniting years later, you realized that a lot of things had changed. but for some reason, you couldn't push him away.

Words: ~ 7.5k

Genre: Fluff, smut (around the end), slight angst

Warning(s): Making out, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Kinda raw language, Semi-public, Light choking, Light overstimulation, Teasing under table

Note: This is part of the christmas collab I'm doing w/ @hanflix and many other writers. I tried my best to give it a holiday vibe, but I guess I totally failed hahah.

A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written for now, and I also tried my best in writing it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it! English isn't my first language, so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes or non-senses.

Your fingers tightened around the collar of your coat, the cold breeze gently hitting your face. You cursed yourself for not having listened to your mother when she insisted for you to take a scarf, arguing that it would be colder than usual.

"Fuck winter." You said when you got back under the shelter of the bus stop, collapsing on the bench next to your bestfriend, where he was sitting.

"Hi to you too, Y/n." Jisung laughed.

"Sorry, really not in a good mood." You said, glancing around, noticing that besides you, there were few other people waiting for the bus.

"Do you want to talk about it though?" He continued.

"Well." You began, sitting correctly on the seat and turning to him, announcing your long speech in advance. He knew you by heart. "I argued with my mom about a stupid decision she and my dad made. They want me to spend Christmas Eve with them and some old friends of theirs! Do you realize that? I don't even know them! She told me they had a son of my age and that I was bestfriend with him when I was younger, as that would some how change my mind. Christmas is supposed to be between families, not strangers."

"Are you done?" He asked when he saw you cross your arms against your chest and sigh even more on the bench. He was really trying to keep from laughing at your despondency. "It's not funny Sungie! I'm really serious!" You complained. "How did I found myself having to spend almost a boring evening with complete strangers?"

"You could come and spend it with me if you really don't want to spend it with your parents' friends." He suggested.

"Are you serious?" You asked, suddenly straightening up, hope shining in your eyes.

"Will your parents accept, though?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." Your mother firmly refused.

"But why!" You whined through the phone, kicking your foot at the pile of snow in front of you, in frustration

"Because Christmas should be celebrated with the family, honey."

"Family.. We don't even pass it between real family." You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes, before setting your gaze on your best friend who was still waiting for you at the entrance of the high school.

"It's not the same thing!" She exclaimed loudly through the phone, forcing you to move your phone away from your ear. "Do you really want to stay with them on Christmas Eve anyway?"

"But Jisung offered it to me! He even told me that his parents wouldn't even mind!" You exclaimed in your turn. "You yourself know how much they love me!" You added in hope that it will change her mind.

"It's still no, the discussion is closed." She concluded, before hanging up on you. You sighed in frustration, kicking one last on the snow pile before turning back to your best friend. You weren't in the mood it was clear.

"So?" Jisung asked as you approached him.

"She said no." You answered, walking past him to enter the school. "But don't worry, I'm going to keep pushing when I get home, she says the discussion is over, but I'll keep pushing the subject."

"You really don't want to spend it with their friends, do you?" Jisung chuckled when he saw how persistent you were.

"As they say, perseverance always pays off." You gave him a smile, letting him know you weren't going to drop the case that easily.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna work." Before you could answer, a group of girls down the hall caught your eye. You glanced at each other in disbelief as you approached your group of friends.

"What's going on over there." You asked curiously, as you opened your locker to deposit your things in.

"Ah, just a new student." Jeongin just shrugged, not looking away from his phone, too focused on his game.

"Damn, he's this special to create so much enthusiasm." You continued, taking your books in your arms before closing your locker and leaning against it.

"I heard he was handsome, rich, tall. The pure cliché you know." Changbin added, earning amused looks from all of you. "What? I only rehearsed what I heard, I didn't even saw the guy yet."

"My only question is who would get transfered to a new school a day before winter break? It's so unlikely." You were curious to know who this new kid was, since he already had girls at his feet when it's barely been a day since he arrived.

"I really don't know." Changbin shrugged. "But I also heard he was from your hometown. You must know him."

"No luck, I don't even remember a lot of things from back there." You were still a little surprised that he also came from your hometown, but despite all that, it didn't change your opinion of him.

"Merry Christmas!" Felix came out of nowhere, dressing ridiculously in rudolph. Totally his type. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his outfit. The day before, you all had agreed to dress in a holiday theme, but it was clear that someone surely hadn't understood the real concept.

"What the fuck, Lix." Jeongin said, finally turning his attention away from his game to judge his friend. "When I suggested yesterday that we could dress like it was Christmas, I didn't actually mean to dress up like this."

You kinda felt bad for Felix as he looked disappointed at the judgment of the youngest.

"Rah, you are so boring." Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest before pretending to sulk.

"Okay, pass me your red nose." You added, rolling your eyes as Felix's face lit up.

"It's good now?" You asked rhetorically, placing the red ball on yours.

"Looks like a real clown now. Your makeup wasn't enough, but with that nose you really look like one now." Jisung said amused, making the whole gang laugh, except you obviously.

"I swear to you that one day I'll kill you." You threatened him, hitting his forearm causing him to whine in pain.

"Ow- damn you hit real hard-"

"Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n?" A familiar voice called you out, making everyone turn around. You then suddenly found yourself facing a guy that neither of you knew. You surely assumed to be the new student.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" You had to admit that the fact that this tall guy knew your name freaked you out.

"Don't you recognize me? Hyunjin. We went to the same elementary school." The so-called Hyunjin indicated, making you frown at his words. But your brain still didn't seem to recognize him despite how hard you tried to remember who it could be.

"I'm so sorry, but you must be wrong on the person. I really don't know you." This time you raised an eyebrow and looked him over from head to toe. You couldn't deny that he was handsome, even though you didn't know him.

"He's from your hometown, there's a chance he's right." Chris pointed, once the guy had left. You sigh in exasperation. "I don't remember him anyway. So whether he's right or not, it doesn't really matter."

You threw yourself on your bed, almost screaming into your pillow in frustration. Again, you tried to convince your parents, but it was a complete failure like this morning. They were really determined that you go with them, even though you had made it clear to them that you didn't want to. You spent long minutes looking at your reflection through the mirror in your bathroom. Did you have to wear a dress and full makeup to go to a stupid Christmas dinner? Obviously, it was your mother who forced you.

The red dress she chose for you was quite tight and followed every curve of your body. But it was either that or nothing, since you would've been allowed to wear something more comfortable. Everything had to be perfect, you rolled your eyes recalling the words of your mother, and also of your father. You didn't understand either why you had agreed to wear high heels, your feet were hurting horribly and the freezing winter cold really didn't help your situation. It was snowing and you were forced to wear these heels anyway, that's how your parents exaggerated. Luckily, there was no ice, otherwise you would've tripped and humiliated yourself in the middle of the entrance. You were torn from your thoughts when the front door opened, and revealing a quite beautiful lady about your mother's age.

"Y/m/n!" The lady exclaimed with a big smile, softly giggling as your mother returned the same energy to her. She wasted no time to make you get in and hugging your mom and shaking your father's hand. Once you got in her facial expression only lit up even more.

"Y/n! Woah, you've grown so much!" She indicated by taking you in your arms too. "You've become so beautiful, I'm sure Hyunjin would agree." She said with a slight smirk. Hearing his name made you choke on your own saliva. You tensed, but managed to fake a smile, even though you were praying inside that you had misheard. Unfortunately for you, all your doubts were confirmed when you walked into the living room and found yourself face to face with Hyunjin.

"Damnit.." You cursed under your breath, when you came to sit on the couch in front of his and according to the face he expressed, he seemed to have heard you. Lucky for you, none of the other adults next to you seemed to have heard it. You could feel his intense gaze on you, and it lowkey made you anxious.

"Dinner's not ready yet, because we got too caught up at the last minute, so sorry." Hyunjin's mother laughed lightly. "I know the kids won't want to wait here all along, so maybe they could go do something else until it's ready."

If you could think that the night couldn't get any worse, you were completely wrong.

"Stop following me." Hyunjin suddenly turned as he walked up the stairs. Making you roll your eyes.

"I 'follow' you, because I have nowhere else to go and I would rather stay with you than stay with them for a second. Their 'good old days' really don't interest me." You crossed your arms against your chest, defying him with your gaze.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, before turning around. His room was quite large, almost double yours. You made sure to sit in the opposite side of the room. You then found yourself sitting on the sofa while he was lying on his bed, both phones in hand. Your phones keep you busy, making you forget the awkward tension.

"How could you not recognize me?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, distracting you from the video you were watching.

"Do I really have to?" You looked away from your phone to focus on Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and facing you.

"Did I change that much?" He said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"We knew each other when we were kids, now we are adults, what do you expect? I can't recognize everyone I was friends with in my childhood at one glance." You said in a mocking voice. "I don't even understand why you keep pushing so hard for me to remember you, but if you really want to, just show me what you looked like when you were a baby. It would surely refresh my memory."

You didn't expect that he would actually do it. But your eyes widened when you saw the little boy in the picture. You recognized him right there. Your heart pounded at the realization, but you tried to pull yourself together. It was stupid to react so exaggeratedly just because you realized you were facing your childhood best friend, your first love. Finally you didn't really know if when you were young you really loved him, because after all, you were still kids, the meaning of love wasn't real known, nor understood.

"Stop Hyunjin, you're hurting him!" You yelled at him to let go of your friend's sweater, Chris.

"No! How dare he touch you! Only I have the right to give you a hug!" Hyunjin frowned, looking at you before quickly looking back at your friend, who just let it go, finding his jealousy quite ridiculous.

"But I was the one who gave him a hug." You started, finding his possessiveness frustrating.

You couldn't help but have a small smile forming at the corner of your lips at the flashback of this event. And you couldn't control your teasing.

"So how's your jealousy? Are you still so possessive of a temper?" You said amused, expecting him to becomes slightly shy and sulky as you pointed out his toxic trait, but what you didn't expect was for him to smile and look down on you.

"Oh, why do you want to know that? Unless you want me to show you what true possessiveness is." He smirked, looking you up and down. Your own smile faded as he watched you closely, making you feel oddly exposed to him in that tight, cropped dress.

"What do you mean?" You pulled yourself together again and asked, raisong an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't have thought you would've had so many guy friends." His comment frustrated you for some reasons. After years apart, as soon as you meet again does he really have to get jealous over the fact that you have a lot of opposite sex friends? You really didn't like it.

"Does it even matter anyway?" You asked insistently. At your reaction, Hyunjin's expression changed, becoming more nonchalant again.

"Nevermind." He got up from the sofa he was leaning on and went to lie back on his bed. You took advantage of him not looking at you to detail him. You couldn't deny that puberty had blessed him, making him not only beautiful, but also extremely attractive. His hair, which he had dyed blond, was slightly messy, but enough to make it look quite classy.

"Do you like staring at me?" He asked rhetorically, but as you were about to deny, he continued. "No need to deny it, the trickle of drool at the corner of your mouth is proof of that."

Seeing your panicking face, he laughed out loud. Quickly running your hand over the corner of your mouth, you finally realized that he was only messing with you from the start. As you opened your mouth to clap back at him, you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs, informing both of you that the dinner was ready. Hyunjin didn't miss the glare you gave him as you sat face to face at the dining table. He could've simply ignored it, but the little smirk that appeared on your lips worried him slightly. He had a bad feeling.

Your parents were talking and laughing with each other, paying almost no attention to you two, which gave you the best opportunity to tease Hyunjin. For his part, he was frustered when he felt something caress his leg. Looking down he saw your foot caressing his leg, he wasted no time pushing you away, finding the whole thing quite inappropriate as you found yourself at the table with both of your parents. But you didn't give up, in fact you were determined to make him restless. You restarted your gesture, but this time, taking advantage of his man spread, you deflected your touching on his crotch. You knew he was going to lose his temper at this action and your doubts were confirmed when he jumped at the feeling of your heel pressing against his crotch.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" His mother asked, slightly worried. You could see a pinkish tinge forming on Hyunjin's cheeks and you had to admit he was so cute like that.

"And yes, y-yes. It's okay, I just banged my knee against the table, sorry." He managed to convince the others. After all, he wasn't going to openly say that you were touching his dick under the table. Stop that, he mimicked, his gaze changing dramatically to become more firmer, but it only made you keep going, finding his reaction funny and extremely entertaining. Suddenly he got up from the table, apologizing to your parents and pretending he wasn't hungry, so he could get away from that family dinner. Not wanting to be alone with them, you did the same, sighing in relief when you in turn managed to sneak out of that Christmas dinner. Except you weren't expecting to be tackled by a pretty angry Hyunjin from the moment you stepped into his room. You then found yourself stuck between him and the wall, his arms placed on each side of your body, blocking you from escaping from his grip. Besides his tall figure, which made him quite intimidating, didn't help your case.

"If you were so desperate for my cock, you should've told me." He said in a dangerously calm voice.

"What are you talking about?" You manage to say, completely confused.

"Oh don't be innocent. You really think this is a game, don't you? Do you think teasing my cock around our parents is fun?" You bit your lip and your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and put it on his bulge for you to feel it, which was quite hard.

"You feel it? Now I'm fucking hard." He said in a long sigh of pleasure, feeling your fingers trace his length. He then leaned against your ear, his hot breath giving you chills.

"From the moment I met you again, I knew straight away that I didn't want to just be friends with you." You still couldn't quite assimilate the situation you currently found yourself in and it was only when he leaned against your ear to whisper those words to you with his deep voice that you finally broke out of your thoughts. Suddenly you pushed him away, forcing him to pull away from you and step back. He looked at you completely lost, not understanding your sudden action and to tell the truth, you didn't understand what had taken you neither. You couldn't deny that this whole situation had made you slightly aroused, but it was too soon. No sooner had you met again than you already found yourself doing dirty things? It was going a little too fast for your liking.

"That-that won't work, I'm so sorry." You avoided his gaze in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, you finally returned your gaze to Hyunjin, who was now looking at you completely detached. And to be honest, his expression hurted you, but you tried to hide it. You knew you ruined your evening, that's why you decided to end up speanding it with your parents. It was quite boring, but at least it allowed you to escape the discomfort that would've been present between you and Hyunjin, if you stayed with him.

"And? What did you do?" Jisung asked excitedly. A few days later, you had wasted no time summoning Jisung, your best friend, to tell him what had happened to you. But no sooner had the story started than he was already feeling excited, obviously expecting you and Hyunjin to have done it.

"I pushed him away." You simply said, looking as if you didn't care about it. Even though a few days later, you were still mentally slapping yourself for pushing him away so coldly. While deep down, you wished things had turned out differently.

"What did you do?" Jisung repeated slowly, his excitement fading.

"I pushed him away and even told him that it wouldn't work between us." You closed your eyes, anticipating his reaction.

"Oh my god, I have never known a girl so stupid." Jisung said in exasperation. "You literally had the chance before you and you didn't even take it."

"I know!" You pouted. "It's just that I realized this when it was too late. I was in the living room with my parents, you really expected me to go back to his room and take back everything that I said and did to him?"

You concluded ironically before crossing your arms against your chest and sighing in exasperation.

"Well that was an option that you unfortunately didn't take and which could've prevented from finding yourself in this situation." He dramaticallyraised his hot chocolate cup to face, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm seriously starting to regret telling you this story and even offering to go out. You really aren't helping me."

"It's too hard not to judge you when you literally make so many stupid decisions, sorry." He said, chuckling at your annoyed reaction. "Ah, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it, but Changbin is throwing a new year party tomorrow and he told me to force you to come."

At the mention of a party, you whined. You didn't like parties, you preferred to stay at home, doing nothing, rather than partying among people you didn't know.

"Tell him back that despite you forcing me, I'm not coming." You said directly.

"Please, for once come on. And it'll help you to forget about your night with Hyunjin." Jisung begged you. It was very rare that you attended parties organized by your friends, one because you didn't like the vibe, but you also didn't understand the usefulness of getting high and drunk. But coming to think of it, not only did you want to forget the shit you had caused, but you also felt like getting wasted.

"Fine."

You scrambled through the room, the wave of dancing people glued to each other began to make you sick. Your glass in hand, you passed through all these people, until you finally got off the dance floor. You shiver slightly when you feel the light cold breeze brush your exposed legs. You were already regretting having put on such a short dress. It wasn't really ideal to go out so exposed, but it was the only evening dress you had.

"Looks like you're bored." Felix's deep voice surprised you, making you jump.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed in surprise. almost dropping your drink. "You scared me."

You hit his forearm, making him laugh out loud.

"No, but seriously you look really bored." He said, calming down. You just nodded, it was true that you were slowly starting to regret coming. Your dress that bothered you, the alcohol that took too long to hit you, and the cold freezing were all the reason of it.

"Do you want to come with me play truth or dare? Changbin and the other boys were organizing it." He proposed to you, not failing to see you looking with disgust at the gathering of people completely wasted and grinding on each other. You accepted, telling yourself that it might change your mind. You didn't know this kind of game was still being played at parties, but you were curious enough what kind of dares and truths other players will throw themselves into. Obviously, you should've expected to see Hyunjin as soon as you set a foot in the room, which seemed to be Changbin's room, accompanied by Felix. Other than this one, Hyunjin and even Changbin, you didn't really know the other participants, but even then you cursed yourself for not thinking for a second that Hyunjin might be there too. You blushed slightly when you noticed him contemplating your body shamelessly. You thanked the lord for making the room a little dark, only a lamp on the floor on the floor litening the room.

"Y/n!" Changbin exclaimed with joy when he saw you, glad you came. Coming to hug you, only to ruffle your hair.

"Stop." You giggled. "You ruined my hairstyle." You pouted.

"Ohh, it's okay, you're beautiful the way you are." He said, making you blush. Changbin treated you like his little sister, his way to make you comfortable no matter the situation would always surprise you. Your interaction didn't go out of Hyunjin's attention. From the corner of the room he watched you silently, paying no attention to the girl beside him who was desperately seeking his attention.

"Are we starting or not?" Felix complained loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"We're just waiting for Jisung and Jeongin." No sooner had Changbin finished his sentence than your two friends entered the room, their arms laden with drinks.

"To spice up the game!" Jisung exclaimed as he placed the bottles on the ground, beside the circle you had formed. You had hesitated for a moment to sit down, your short dress really bothering you, obviously you didn't want others to have an easy view of your panties. You were then offered by Changbin his jacket to cover your lap, clearly having noticed your struggle.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, before kneeling on the floor and covering your legs with his jacket.

"Ok, we all know the game rules, right? But this time, if you don't want to answer the truth or don't want to do a dare, you're going to have to take two shots of vodka." Jeongin vaguely explained. "Okay, I'm starting."

He leaned over to spin the bottle, stopping in front of Changbin.

"Truth or dare." Jeongin asked with a smirk at the corner of his lips. It was in those moments that his inner devil was coming out.

"Truth." Changbin said. "I don't trust you enough to pick dare when it comes to you." He added suspiciously.

"What's your body count?" Jeongin asked, ignoring his friend's comment.

"Do I need to have slept with them?" He asked, waiting for the clarification of the younger. He took time to think.

"Then I think around 15, if not even more." He nodded. Hearing this number, you almost choked.

"15?! What the hell?!" You turned to Changbin, your eyes widening. "You better spill the tea, mr.Don Juan."

The game went on, you had to admit it was pretty funny seeing some people taking two shots of vodka and gradually get drunk just because they didn't want to do something, or even see some people do of stupid things. Well, until Hyunjin's turn came and he had the misfortune of being told what to do by Jisung.

"Truth or dare, Hyunjin." He asked him with a smile, which the world that didn't know him might consider innocent, but knowing him very well, you knew he was up to no good.

"I guess, dare?" He answered.

"I dare you to make out for a minute with the girl you find the most attractive in the room." As soon as Jisung's words came out of his mouth, his turned gaze to you. You rolled your eyes when you had eye contact with your best friend. Seeing how the girl, who was sitting next to Hyunjin, looked quite pretty and looked so interested in him, you expected him to turn to kiss her. But you were a little taken aback, when he got up to approach you to kneel down in front of you, ignoring the complaints of the girl you think was one of his fangirls at school.

"Wait what?" Your eyes widened, completely lost. Your heart quickly started race up as you saw him lean towards you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. You really didn't know what to add, you were literally wordless. Subconsciously, you started to nod your head gently, giving him your consent. When your lips touched, it was as if no one existed around you. The exclamations of surprise that other people around you were expressing went over your head.

Hyunjin's lips were soft, the kiss you exchanged was initially passionate, but the longer the seconds passed the hotter it got. Without thinking too much, you wrapped your arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer to you, as he grabbed your hips. Too absorbed in each other, you hadn't noticed that the minute had already passed and it was only when Jisung called you out that you finally came out of your reverie, instantly detaching yourself from Hyunjin.

You blushed slightly when you felt a light trickle of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you pressed to wipe it off quickly with the back of your hand. Hyunjin, for his part, just licked his lips, giving you a smirk, knowing that this action would destabilize you even more. Clearing your throat afterwards, you for sure wanted to divert the attention others had on you, while Hyunjin, sat down next to you with a big smile on his face, not caring that all the attention was on you. After all he had finally kissed you, which he had wanted to do since the dinner with your parents, so nothing else mattered. Your thoughts wandered elsewhere as the game continued its course. You couldn't think of anything other than Hyunjin's lips on yours, his kiss had made you lose your head. Your mind was engulfed in unhealthy thoughts and it didn't take you long before you felt yourself being drowned by your own mind.

"I-I think I'm going to go." You huffed, feeling a pleasant, but quite uncomfortable heat growing between your legs. You were clearly starting to feel bad. You didn't give Changbin or Hyunjin time to speak as you got up and quickly left the room. The loud sound of the music playing backwards was much more audible once in the hallway, it's precisely at this moment that you could gradually feel the influence of alcohol washing you off. Luckily for you, you found the bathroom easily.

"Y/n?" You heard Hyunjin calling you, but you didn't pay him any attention to him when he hesitantly walked in. You were propped up against the bathroom counter, staring at your reflection through the mirror, it was easily recognizable that you were not feeling well. Your cheeks were red, your breath quickened and your eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, approaching you, but he resigned himself when he saw you stepping back when he tried to come closer.

"Stop playing with me." You finally said, turning to face him. You couldn't help but slightly laugh bitterly when he looked at you in confusion, obviously not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Seriously Hyunjin, what do you want from me." You rolled your eyes, "You tell me straight up that you want more than just a friendship with me, when it had only been one evening that we met again. Things have changed Hyunjin, I've changed, you've changed. We're not the same as when we were still children." He was silent for a moment, looking deep in his thoughts, before he resigned himself to saying something.

"I understand that we are no longer children. And from the moment I saw you again I understood it very well. You must think I'm talking nonsense, but just seeing you and talking to you again last time, I don't know why, i had the same feelings i had when we were young."

He stopped talking to approach you slowly, making sure first that you weren't going to distance yourself from him.

"I'm very serious. I'm really not trying to play with your feelings, nor you in general." His gaze reflected a slight sadness. He was genuinely afraid of being rejected by you, even after his speech.

"How could I believe you?" You asked, hesitantly whether you should take him seriously or not.

"If you give me a chance, I swear I could prove it to you." You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, you really didn't know what to say. And he looked pretty determined.

"I hope you're not going to make me regret it then." You manage to say. At your answer, his face lit up. He was anxious that you would reject him, that you would tell him that his 'confession' was absurd, but he felt a huge weight off his shoulders at your words. His gaze wandered over your lips for a few seconds, before he glanced quickly behind him.

"I-" He started slowly, looking suddenly slightly embarrassed. "Can I kiss you?"

His question made you smile for real this time, finding his reaction rather unexpected and ironic, given of what had happened earlier.

"Really, Hyunjin? You literally kissed me in front of dozens of people and now you're getting all embarrassed." You teased him. "So cute."

At your last comment, his expression changed dramatically. Suddenly, he leaned over and grabbed your chin, forcing you to lock your eyes with his.

"Me, cute?" He tilted his head to the side, his gaze languishing in your face, as if to memorize every detail. "You sure about that?" All trace of embarrassment had disappeared from his attitude. He looked more than serious and you couldn't deny that you liked this new facade of him.

"Why don't you show it to me then?" You didn't know where that line, or even that daring, had come from, but you didn't complain when Hyunjin's lips rested on yours for the second time that evening. The kiss was way more intense than the one you had shared earlier. Hotter and more eager. You gasped in surprise as Hyunjin grabbed you by the back of your thighs to lift you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Your dress, which was already short, rose at this gesture, giving him easy access to your ass. Placing yourself on the bathroom counter, you were slightly disappointed when he pulled away from you, breaking your kiss. You looked at him with puppy eyes, as he turned around to close the bathroom door and lock it.

"Just making sure we won't be disturbed." He smirked, taking full notice of your desperate look. He wasted no time before stepping back between your legs, his lips joining yours for a warm kiss once again.

"Fuck, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about being like this with you since the last time." He whispered in admiration, as he kissed the path up to your neck, where he teasingly bit your soft spot which he found easily. You suppressed a small moan at his gesture, your fingers venturing into his long curls and pulling them gently. You could tell he liked it by the deep moan he made.

"You left me so hard when you ran away last time." He straightened up to look at you straight in the eyes, the sheer desire burning through his gaze making you feel in a certain way you could describe as sinful.

"I was afraid I had done something wrong when you pushed me away. I even felt bad for getting so excited after you teased me under the table in the presence of our parents." The tone of his voice clearly reflected nostalgia.

"But don't feel bad. I just panicked at the time." You smiled at him, passing a hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"And if I'm being honest, the situation got me excited too." You confessed shyly. Your revelation relaxed him slightly, but also boosted his confidence.

"Really?" He asked rhetorically, stroking your thighs with his fingertips. Your heart race increased as he rushed to drop hungry kisses down your collarbone, wasting no time slipping your sleeve, giving him a perfect access to the base of your breasts.

"Fuck.. Please..." You moaned, wiggling lightly against him, begging him for more, which made him smirk in satisfaction. You were as desperate for him as he was for you.

"My baby is so impatient. So sweet." He chuckled, visibly enjoying seeing you so hopeless for him to touch you intimately. It didn't take him long before he decided to finally slid his hand between your thighs, easily finding your clit, his fingers rubbing it so skillfully.

"I can already feel your wetness." He bit his lower lip, his dark eyes focusing on your face contracted with pleasure. You were so beautiful.

"Lay down." You were torn from your little cloud of pleasure again, when he removed his touch from your panties to remove it entirely, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You leaned back as he ordered, leaning back against the mirror behind you and opening your legs wide for him to give him an easy access to what he wanted the most right now. You knew seeing yourself so exposed and vulnerable just for him, hugely turned him on. The visible bulge on his crotch being the proof.

"You look so fucking good, baby." He said, licking his lips, obviously pleased pf the way you were already dripping just for him, when he barely touched you. Not breaking eye contact, he knelt between your legs, gripping your thighs to keep them firmly open, before languidly licking your cunt, stickinf his tongue inside of you. Your fingers found his hair again, gripping it tightly when Hyunjin suddenly began to suck on your sensitive swollen clit. You couldn't stop a few moans from escaping, even though you were trying the best you could to not to be too loud. Your hips subconsciously bucked against his face, forcing him to wrap his arms around your hips so that he could stabilize you moving too much. He intended to make you scream his name with pleasure and he wanted to do it the right way. You felt like you were losing your mind when the way he was eating you out changed, getting much more rougher and hungrier. He then suddenly slipped a finger, then a second, inside you, touching your weak spot with every pump and strock of his fingers.

"Hyunjin.. Too much.." You moaned, squirming more and more under his grip on you with each of his moves. Your thoughts were clouded with pleasure, dizzying your mind. You couldn't think properly anymore, only your orgasm, that you could feel was getting closer and closer, was the only thing you could think about. The tension, which you could feel building in your lower abdomen, exploded as Hyunjin once again eagerly wrapped his lips around your clit. Your eyes rolled back, as your orgasm washed you away, making you moan loudly in ecstasy. Seeing you come around his fingers and his mouth didn't make him stop his movements. You had to beg him to stop when it got too much for you to handle. His mouth and chin were almost dripping with your juice, giving his lips an delicious shine. You felt empty when his fingers slipped off you, but you ignored it, straightening up quickly and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss, where you clearly tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hands were hanging from the waistband of his pants, which you delicately untied during your erotic exchange. You desperately wanted to feel his cock, which you could feel was already hard enough, between your lips and at the very thought, you could feel your pussy getting wetter than before.

"My good girl is so desperate for my cock?" He whispered between your lips, the sudden nickname and the hand that came wrapping around your throat made you feel much more excited and eager for him. You moaned slightly in contentment at the pleasant feeling he made you feel just by his actions and presence. You went to answer him, but was cut off by what happened outside.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The loud mixed voices of people still partying echoed throughout the house. At this understanding, you looked at each other for a few moments, before involuntarily bursting into laughter.

"New year, new girl, which means new resolutions. That's all I can say about it." He said, giving you a wink full of innuendos. Blushing, you couldn't hide the smile that crept onto your lips.

"I think it's the same for me then." You declared in admiration in your turn, matching his vibe.

"Good, because I have every intention of making up for the lost time." He whispered seductively. "In every sense of the word." His last words gave you shivers of anticipation. You knew you were in there for a long ride. After all, maybe the special connection you had as a kid hadn't changed at all.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids smut hours #hyunjin smut #stray kids hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut hours #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #kpop smut

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crazyasacupcake · 4 years ago

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Stargazing - Oikawa x Reader

This is my first time writing a Haikyu fic so I hope it's okay! I was inspired by the song A TV Show Called Earth by Philip Labes.

Pairing: Oikawa x Reader

Complete fluff :D

Word Count: 1462

You don’t know what’s wrong, why you can’t get to sleep no matter how long you lay there with your eyes closed. With a groan, you sit up, looking over to the digital clock on your bedside, which taunts you in bright green letters that it’s now two o’clock. You stretch your arms over your head, your shoulders popping, before you reach for your phone.

The screen is the tiniest bit too bright for your dark-adjusted eyes; even on the lowest setting you’re squinting through the blare. You scroll aimlessly for a while, opening various social apps only to close them once you realise how dead they are in the early hours of the morning.

Somehow you end up opening his text thread.

You click the message box, watching the cursor flickering in and out of existence, thinking about whether or not you should say anything. He would probably be asleep, right? So that he can get up early to go on his run, so that he’s nice and refreshed for the day, so that he looks good for his fangirls, so he’s not tired when it gets to practice.

You scan the last couple of messages, your vision slightly blurred from your lack of sleep.

Bane of My Existence: Goodnight, my beloved Y/N-chan :))

You tap out a quick text and send it, not giving yourself a second to think about it.

Hey, u awake?

After about a minute of no response – you expected it, so why is there a part of you that’s upset? – you go to put your phone back on the nightstand, until you see the three dots appear.

BoME: Yea, why’re you up so late?

I should ask u the same thing, Mr Asleep-By-Ten-Thirty.

BoME: Ouch D: that was harsh, Y/N-chan.

You find yourself smiling at your phone, your cheeks flushing in the dark. You don’t know why: he’s like this with everyone, isn’t he? So how come it feels like you’re the only one?

Do you want to go somewhere?

BoME: At 2 am? We have school :/

You’d expected that.

I couldn’t sleep lol. Doesn’t matter.

Your eyes flicker to the curtain next to your bed, and you pull it back just enough to peek out. The stars glitter among the blanket of black, as if they’re teasing you, tempting you to step outside and tilt your head right back so you can stare at them until your neck hurts and your head begins to feel heavy.

The stars are nice tonight.

BoME: They are?

There’s a moment. A second where you can imagine him standing up and walking to his window and looking outside, his eyes lighting up and a smile splitting his face in half.

BoME: Park?

Park sounds good :DD

Half an hour later, you’re walking into the park, your mums good picnic blanket tucked under your arm. Your fluffy green pyjama bottoms look odd compared to your trainers and hoodie, but you don’t really care, since the only person who’s going to see you is him.

You spread the blanket, making sure it’s not folded in the corners, smoothing out the creases.

A twig snaps behind you and you tense, the back of your neck prickling.

“Rah!” Someone jumps at you, grabbing your sides gently to make you jump. You yelp, just for a second, before whipping around and smacking their chest with both hands.

“Don’t do that!” You hiss, punctuating each word with a hit.

He just laughs, and you’re angry at how the laughter can make it seem not as bad, can make everything seem like it’s going to be okay. His eyes sparkle in the darkness, and he runs a hand through his hair with a grin before dropping himself down onto the blanket.

“Hello my beautiful Y/N-chan.”

“Hello, Tooru.” You roll your eyes at him and he laughs again, flopping onto his back with his arms beneath his head. You nudge him with the toe of your shoe. “Move over, you’re taking up all the space.”

With a pout that quickly breaks into a smile, he shuffles over slightly, giving you enough room to lay next to him. The two of you lay there like that for a while, staring at the stars while they stare back at you.

He points up at the sky, and you don’t even need to look at him to know that he’s smiling, his eyes twinkling as he gazes upwards. “That’s Lupus – the Wolf – and Centarus. Lupus used to be part of the Centarus constellation until…” You twist your head to look at him, tuning his geeky words out as he smiles to himself and tells you the stories behind the constellations, drawing the lines between them with his fingertip. You notice a slight spattering of freckles on his cheek – something you could only notice being this close to him – and you want to reach out and connect them the same way he is doing with the stars in the sky. He grins upwards, a dimple (a kiss, your mum would say) appearing on his left cheek.

“Hey!” His voice brings you back, and he’s half-glaring, half-pouting at you as you stare at him. “You’re not listening.”

“I thought you liked it when people stared at you,” you mock, cheeks flaring as you try and joke your way out of the fact that you were staring at your best friend.

“Not when we’re out here.” His eyes shift upwards again, and he can’t help the way the stars make his lips turn upwards. “You should be looking up there.”

This is the moment you fall in love with him, you think. The moment when, for the first time since you’ve known him, your attention-hungry best friend didn’t want to be looked at.

You turn back to the sky. “So, the Wolf,” you prompt him.

“Yes – now, as I was saying…”

You lose track of his words once again, too entranced by the way the stars seem to swirl slightly in the sky.

“…and of course that’s Scorpius –”

“Do you think aliens are real?” The words tumble out without you realising.

“Hm?”

“Aliens. Do you think aliens are real?”

“It would be impossible for them not to be real – the universe is 93 billion light years wide. There’s no way that we’re the only things out there.” He pauses, and out of the corner of your eye you see him turn towards you. “Why do you ask?”

“Do you think they think the same thing? Like, do you think they sit there and look at the stars with their people, and they say Hey, Zorkblob, do you think there are aliens out there?”

He laughs, a beautiful belly-aching laugh. “First of all, I don’t think they’re called Zorkblob. And who knows, maybe they do. Maybe they don’t understand the concept of space – I don’t think cavemen would’ve thought about it. Or, on the complete other side of the spectrum, maybe they know aliens exist, and they’ve already made contact with other species.”

“Do you think they know we exist?”

“Wouldn’t they have initiated contact with us, or sent us some sort of sign they’re out there too?”

“I mean, maybe we’re like entertainment; they’re watching us the way we watch TV, maybe. So they don’t want to make themselves known because then they lose their show.”

He’s quiet for a while, and you think you’ve made it awkward. You turn your attention back to the sky until he breaks the silence with a soft voice you normally only hear when he gets tired while you’re studying.

“Am I your people?”

You frown. “What?”

“You said they sit there and look at the stars with their people. We’re sat here looking at the stars.”

“What do you mean by people?”

“What did you mean by people?”

You don’t know what you meant. You think you had meant it as a general term – the people of that planet, the people they know – but when you think deeper, hadn’t you imagined the aliens laying holding hands (tentacles? fins? claws?). You think of the quote from one of your mum’s favourite shows (‘she is my person’), and you wonder if you had meant people in the way of someone you want to spend forever with. Someone you share everything with.

People as in friends. As in family.

People as in the person you love the most, the person you would travel all 93 billion light years of the galaxy for.

“Yes,�� you say finally, your voice quiet. “I think you are my people.”

You feel him timidly reach out his hand, lacing his fingers gently with yours as he rubs his thumb over the skin on the back of your hand.

“You’re my people, too.”

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu fluff #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa tooru #oikawa #tooru oikawa #oikawa fluff #haikyu imagines

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laboratorium2d · 5 years ago

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Children's Animated Series, As Graded by a Parent Who Has Watched Far Too Many of Them

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The brony thing is legitimately weird, but this is legitimately a great show. The combination of epic-fantasy plots with a deep dive on friendship is a winner (and has also been deeply influential on kids' television). It also makes the obligatory pro-social messages feel earned, rather than an afterthought. The characters are charming, the writing sparkles, and the animation is still distinctive. Endlessly watchable, which is a good thing when your kid wants to watch endlessly. Fake holidays: Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming Eve, Hearts and Hooves Day. Grade: A+

Avatar: I was fifteen years too old for this when it was on TV, so I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I do. It's epic but not grandiose, funny but not dumb, and morally deep without giving into plot gravity. The world-building, the writing, the animation, the voice-acting, the fight scenes, the side characters: everything works, and everything is pulling in the same direction. (The sequel series, The Legend of Korra, is more of the same, with an interestingly updated setting and better music.) If your kids are like mine, they'll want to talk about everything, and so will you. I guess binge-watching is a family thing now. Grade: A+

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: This show is so gay. However gay you expect it to be, it's ten times gayer. It's also pro-diversity along every axis you can imagine, including body-type. It's completely awesome. It captures the uncannily compelling techno-fantasy atmosphere of the original, and it has characters with the same names, but otherwise it's a total gut rehab. The character studies at its core are compelling, even as the overall plot and action hold a young child's interest. It takes lots of anime animation tropes and tones them down to the verge of naturalism, which I wouldn't have thought would work, but totally does. Grade: A-

Wild Kratts: The big kid was learning biology from this show almost from before she could talk. "Giraffe. Long neck. Eat leaves." The premise of the show is genius: animated versions of veteran kids' wildlife-show hosts Chris and Martin Kratt have suits that give them "creature powers," and they travel around the world having adventures with animals. The science is legit and it's presented entertainingly. And the characters are winners, especially the creature-suit inventor Aviva Corcovado and the colorful villains. The only thing consistently annoying about this show is that it can be shouty. Everyone is Just! So! Excited! About! Animals! Grade: A-.

Phineas and Ferb: The Arrested Development of kids' animation, Phineas and Ferb is impossibly dense with overlapping plots, brick jokes, and a large army of recurring minor characters. Every episode features an original song, some of which are genuinely brilliant ("Squirrels in My Pants" is a household favorite). It is also a wholly, completely sweet-hearted show. Even the antagonists -- Candace and Dr. Doofenshmirtz -- are sympathetic, charming, fully-realized, and allowed to grow and be happy in ways that a lesser version of this show would never even have realized was a possibility. The allegretto pacing and intricate writing keep the show consistently fresh. New Disney at its best. Grade: A-

Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom: From the same team who brought you Peppa Pig, but even drier underneath its treacly trappings. The comedic timing is straight out of classic British sketch comedy. The voice actors are clearly in on the joke, which if anything makes the show more fun to listen to than to watch. B+

Dinosaur Train: Sometimes high concepts work. The show 100% owns its message: dinosaur physiology is a diversity metaphor, presented with just the right degree of insistence. The characters are sketched with grace and sympathy, and the science is pitched just right for its target audience. Over the years, the show (like all railfans) has gotten increasingly obsessed with its train equipment: the aquacar, the submarine, the ... zeppelin. The songs are surprisingly catchy, too: our favorite is probably the Dinosaur Train Zeppelin song, which, yes, is a Led Zeppelin pastiche. Grade: B+

Odd Squad: This one really grew on me. If all you've seen is short clips, it just seems like everyone is shouting about math all the time. But the show overall is delightfully goofy, with a real sense of how to string along a running gag, and some genuinely talented child actors. Grade: B+

Creative Galaxy: Despite being a total Daniel Tiger rip-off, down to the animation style, the obligatory song in every episode, and the live-action codas, this one is actually kind of nice. The art projects are well-chosen both to interest kids and also to actually be doable. Fake holidays: Heart Day. Grade: B

Peppa Pig: It took me a long time to appreciate this show's arch sense of humor. Everyone's pretensions and ambitions are punctured; embarrassing mistakes and small indignities await adults at every turn. Once you realize that the show is making fun of most of its characters but loves them anyway, it's much more bearable. Grade: B

Curious George: Entirely forgettable, with two mildly redeeming qualities. George himself is as charming as always, and the jazzy musical score is pleasant. Grade: B-

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir: It took me a while to understand what this show was doing. It's very, very French. Grade: C+

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Even my kids recognize that Daniel Tiger is needy and whiny. The show inadvertently teaches kids what to be afraid of and how to misbehave. There is also something deeply wrong with the economy of the Neighborhood: everyone seems to have multiple jobs and the public transit system runs on magic. On the plus side, the potty song has come in handy as a reminder: when you have to go potty, stop and go right away. Fake holidays: Love Day, Snowflake Day, Dress Up Day. Grade: C+

Ready Jet Go: I suppose there's some science in here somewhere, I guess. Grade: C+

Tumble Leaf: Reviewers might call this one "gentle," by which they mean "boring." The animation is lovely and the music is calming. But what's the point? Grade: C+

PAW Patrol: Unbelievably, incredibly formulaic. For example: have you noticed that they get in their trucks at exactly the same point halfway through each episode? Just Canadian enough to be noticeably off, but also rah-rah in a George W. Bush-administration kind of way. Sometimes I imagine grown-up versions of the pups. Chase regularly engages in police brutality, Rubble has a drinking problem, and Marshall has joined the alt-right. Grade: C

Nature Cat: Nature Cat is annoying and his friends are worse. I'm not clear on what they're supposed to be learning. And the theme song manages to be both unmemorable and an earworm. Make it stop! Grade: C

Super Why: More like Super Why Does This Exist, amirite? The whole show is oddly paced: I find the story-within-a-story structure confusing and can only wonder how much of it kids actually get. Having each character deal with a different aspect of literacy leaves the show's educational content unfocused. And the Super Letters are like the world's lamest game of Wheel of Fortune. Plus the song is an earworm, and not in a good way. Grade: C

Sofia the First: Empty Disney calories, this show is the reductio ad absurdum of Disney's democratization of the idea of "princess." The plotting, the writing, and the music are technically proficient. The cel-shading effects that give 3D animation the luminosity of 2D hand drawn are lovely. The messages are perfectly innocuous. But the heart of the show is a giant gaping void. Fake holidays: Wassailia. Grade: C

Lion Guard: More empty Disney calories, like Sofia the First but with more obnoxious characters. Inexplicably real holiday: Christmas. Grade: C-

Peg + Cat: All I can remember is that the show is inexplicably drawn on graph paper, and they have a BIG BIG PROBLEM every few seconds. When people complain about STEM, and I remember that this show exists, I have to admit that they have a point. Grade: C-

Martha Speaks: The AV Club's term for this kind of show is "least essential." Even by the standards of kids' shows, the premise makes no sense. Nobody here, human or canine, is remotely sympathetic. And the plot comes to a screeching halt every time it's time for a new vocabulary word. Grade: C-

WordWorld: I have so many questions about this show. If everything is made out of words, what about the ground? The sky? Windows? And what are the letters in the words made of? What is going on with the accents? And who greenlit three seasons of this garbage? Grade: D+

The Adventures of Puss in Boots: This is a weird, weird show. And not in a good way. Grade: D+

Trolls: The Beat Goes On: Quite possibly the most misanthropic kids show currently streaming anywhere. The combination of grimdark setting and hackneyed uplifting plot tropes is somewhere between unsettling and child abuse. Poppy is a walking illustration of emotional labor; Branch has severe PTSD. The show treats both of these as laughable quirks. And I am never going to get used to the Auto-Tune. Grade: D+

Kung-Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny: Pretty much your standard DreamWorks animation. This is not a good thing. Grade: D

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie: The animation and voice-acting are innocuous. But building an entire show around the "if X, then Y" formula led to some disastrous choices. The show taught my big kid how to say things like, "If I see a rock, I just have to bring it home with me." It takes a special kind of kids show to affirmatively instill bad habits. Grade: D-

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2018): An absolute travesty in every possible way. The remake is the direct opposite of everything the original represented: crude instead of clever, manic instead of playful, and mean instead of goofy. Grade: F-

#culture

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secretradiobrooklyn · 4 years ago

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Shroud of Pigeon | 12.5.20

Secret Radio | 12.5.20 | Hear it here.

1. Yos Olarang - title unknown

This is a real score in my book. Generally known as Yol Aularon, this guy is Cambodia’s greatest rock musician, turning out garage rock that knows no equal in America or anywhere else, in my opinion. I tracked down this song on a tape attributed to “Yol Aularon” which includes his big hit, “Cyclo,” but also this song which I haven’t heard on any other collections. Honestly, though, I may yet run across it in a prominent collection, because I have no way of figuring out the title — every bit of the text I can find is in Cambodian. In any case, we LOVE this track! It’s almost like a catalog of Olarang’s laughs: there’s a merry snort, a giggle, and a malevolent cackle all built into the melody. I believe he’s the blazing lead guitarist as well. It’s just such a perfect gem of pure rock energy.

2. Gedou - “Scent” (I think)

Speaking of pure rock energy — DAMN, SAM! This was our introduction to Gedou, a blasting burst of Japanese glam rock whose costumes match the sounds you hear here. These guys were only originally active from ’73-’76, and then got back together sporadically after that; I believe this is from that original lineup. It’s well worth it to check the live video that this comes from. It’s an electric thrill just to see them leaning back to back, singing into the same mic, doing kicks and losing their minds in shining kimonos and silk hiphuggers. It feels like a Japanese MC5 whose wardrobe directly influenced David Bowie. One note I read says that they were popular with Japanese biker gangs at the time — and there are certainly bikes aplenty in the video. I’m looking forward to finding out more about the impact they had in Japan, and whether they made an impression in the rest of the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHfBhJsqrD8

3. Clothilde - “Saperlipopette”

What a strange little slab of chamber pop! Clothilde was barely even a one-hit wonder in France — she released two 45s in 1967 and, as far as I know, that was it. But what a song! It’s like a vanful of pop records crashed into a classical instrument shop. I especially dig the xylophone or whatever that is back there — hardly necessary given the hyperactive harpsichord, but it takes the poppy flavor right over the top. So many bands have tried to get to this level of fizz, but I’ve never heard it succeed like this!

- King Kong - “Ten Long Years”

Slint is one of indie rock’s most unimpeachably cool bands, which makes the silliness of King Kong all the more endearing. Band leader Ethan Buckler was the original bassist in Slint, and all of the Slint lineup got into the act at one point or another. In 1995 Drag City released King Kong’s “Me Hungry,” a sort of funky concept album about a caveman, his yak, and an inhospitable world. Sean Nelson and I spent many not-sober nights enjoying that record — “I push em out, I push em out” — and got to see them play the Crocodile Cafe. I definitely remember appreciating how groovy King Kong was, like Neanderthal B-52s. Butler even looked a bit like a shaved caver.

4. Star Feminine Band - “Femme Africaine”

Born Bad is our new favorite label, right up there with Analog Africa. They’re based in France, and release music both archival and new. Star Feminine Band is based in Benin, home to so much of our favorite music. It’s definitely worth watching the video for this song just to see how young and full of potential the girls in the band are. They were assembled in a School of Rock sort of situation, taught to play instruments and encouraged to write lyrics. The lyrics of this song are so directly uplifting it’s enough to put a lump in the throat. Meanwhile, the music is such a pleasure to listen to! The whole album is full of good stuff, but this song is pretty much their theme song. It translates to:

“Oh woman, African woman

Oh woman, Beninese woman

Black woman, get up, don't sleep

You can become president of the republic

You can become prime minister of the country

Get up, something must be done

African woman, be independent

The country needs us, go to school

Africa needs you, you have to work

The world needs us, let's stand up we'll defend

African woman, be independent”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdDp6VAXXbk

5. Young Signorino - “Mmh Ha Ha Ha”

A few years ago a friend posted the video for this song on FB with a note that was like, “Ever see something you should hate but you can’t stop watching?” I watched it, watched it again… and watched it again. It eventually slipped out of my mind, but I was thrilled to remember it the other day in the context of WBFF. The song’s language, such as it is, is Italian, but it also just fits perfectly into the post-language mix that has been turning our cranks lately. I’m really glad to get a chance to present it here first as a piece of music, because the video really affects the experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9bf4PT-aEk

6. Yura Yura Teikoku - ゆらゆら帝国で考え中 “Yura Yura Keikoku de Kangaechuu” (I think?)

This is another sweet find in a broadcast full of em! Yura Yura Teikoku is a trio formed in 1989 and have a huge rep in Japan as a psychedelic band, but apparently by 2000 they were crafting super-awesome pop songs that rocked hard. The video of this song features a singer with adorably mussed hair and a striped shirt against an orange background, looking super hip and on top of the world. From what I’ve read they were gigantic in Japan but utterly unknown outside, which changed a bit when they played New York in 2007 and again a year later, to packed houses. But that didn’t seem to do the trick, and they finally broke up in 2010. They have several good songs from this period, but this one, from a three-song 45, is the one that has hooked us the hardest so far. We can’t seem to find out even what the song title is, but as far as I can tell the band’s name translates to The Wobbling Empire, and the song title is “Thinking in the Wobbling Empire.” It’s bizarre to us that this kind of hip tight rock didn’t find a way into the bigger world… but I guess singing in Japanese was the deciding factor. Really glad to have uncovered it though!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9CM44MohAs

7. Can - “Mother Sky”

I know a lot of bigger Can fans than me, but this track has so much of what we love in the drones, the freakouts, the lockdowns, the Engl-ish vocals, the long climb towards the climax… it feels sometimes like flying, sometimes like swimming, sometimes like burrowing deeper and deeper downwards.

8. Señor Coconut - “Showroom Dummies”

Can and Kraftwerk share enough DNA that they seem like a natural pairing. But… Señor Coconut’s version of this classic track of “Trans-Europe Express” is honestly my preferred version of the song. It sounds so sincere and strange, and I find myself thinking about the lives of mannequins even as I also hear the palm leaves switching in the breeze. The album “El Baile Aleman” — “German Dance” — was released in 1999, and apparently Kraftwerk was fine with it. Thank goodness.

- Lithics - “A Highly Textured Ceiling”

Every time I hear this track I think of Six Finger Satellite’s “The Pigeon Is the Most Popular Bird,” a crucial album for me. I learned about all of these tones for the first time from that record. I’ma write more about this band in a sec, when they show back up.

9. Schwervon! - “American Idle”

Years ago Mike Appelstein hipped us to Schwervon!, a two-piece band who were about to make the opposite journey of our own eventual path, moving from NYC to Missouri — in their case Kansas City. They turned out to be lovely individuals and an instant favorite band, and we hosted them whenever they came through STL. Their album “Courage” plays like a lost ’90s classic, and “American Idle” is one of the best tracks on there. The production of the album, by Matt Mason, is straight-up enviable. As is so often the case, good people have good friends, and they led us to Jeffrey Lewis, who has been a pleasure to get to know better since we made our own way east last year. I don’t think Matt and Nan are writing songs together anymore, but we’re glad that they did.

10. Boney M. - “Rasputin”

I saw this song peeking at me from my computer now and then, but didn’t check it out til recently. What a complete banger! The lyrics are absolutely fantastic — “Rah! Rah! Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine, it was a shame how he carried on!” — but so is the production… and the video, for that matter. Apparently this was a hit track in 1978. I’ve spent most of my life avoiding disco, though, so I had no idea. I love how the narrative weight shifts from the lead male voice to the chorus voices. It’s such a strange read of Rasputin’s life and death — the unkillable Casanova of Russia!

11. Rafaella Carrá - “Festa”

Did I mention that I used to hate disco? Well, this is my big comeup. We’ve been dabbling in disco on WBFF here and there, but this pairing is meant strictly for the dancefloor! This is the original Italian version, but Carrá became a massive hit in Spain and recorded most of her songs in Spanish as well. Obviously, the Spanish influence is strong in this song’s amazing flamenco claps and trumpet passages.

12. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou Benin et Loko Pierre - “Djo Mi Do”

There’s nowhere to go from disco but back to our prime fascination: Tout Puissant! This album is a collaboration with saxophonist Loko Pierre, and every track hits hard. But this track’s chorus, “djo mi do, djo mi do!” is such a gotdamn hook! This band continues to surprise and reward the deeper we dig into their catalog, and I feel like we’re still just getting started. So funky and fresh every time.

The chorus makes me think of a song we first heard on KDHX about a decade ago — “Dominos,” by The Big Pink. I really liked the hook of the song but loathed the cold-blooded lyrics, so I found myself hating it. You know how it is. I’m really glad to find a song that can replace it in my head — and it’s a way better song!

13. Bruno Leys - “Hallucinations”

Credit to Born Bad records once again for this song. It’s a true rarity. Bruno Leys fell in with some fellow students in Paris in 1967 including a guy named Emmanuel Pairault, who was obsessed with an instrument called the ondes Martenot, which is a very very early electronic instrument that works a little like a theremin — though it’s played by wearing a ring on one finger and sliding it along a wire, depressing the wire to change the note — but has a crazy range of sounds. The instrumental hook in this song, as well as the backing notes, are on the onde Martenot. Leys co-wrote and recorded four songs with the band, they got signed up with a label, released a 7”, then he had to leave for compulsory military service… and by the time he got back two years later there was no band and no label. The 7” was practically unobtainable til this year, when Born Bad records finally released it anew. I hope Leys is still alive to appreciate that it finally made its way into the world!

- The Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

14. Troubadour Dali - “Spirit of ’67”

Oh, Troubadour… Sleepy Kitty shared a label with Troubadour Dali for several years, and we were big fans of their whirling swirling psychedelia. They had a couple of chicks (I think they’d approve of the word) projecting old-school colored oil-and-water light effects on the band, and when they were on, they looked and felt like the greatest band in the land. Troubadour went through an impressive number of players over the years, and there was generally some sort of drama or mayhem going on — not too surprising for a band who loved Brian Jonestown Massacre. The main songwriter was a lanky, handsome fella named Ben, though there were also great songs by Kevin and, every once in a great while, a powerful contribution by a quiet, snappy dresser named Benjamin. Benjamin apparently put this recording together entirely on his own. When he showed it to the band they flipped out — it’s obviously a winner — and they quickly got together a live version of it. Man, it tore the house down every time. At some point, though, in the midst of some of that drama, Benjamin started to kind of slip sideways out of the band. As they were finishing up their second full length, he declined to let the band record this song, or to make the demo available, despite their pleas. Eventually they went forward without it, and I don’t know what happened to Benjamin but I do know that Paige happened to rediscover her copy of “Spirit of ‘67″ recently, tucked into a stack of burned CDs. We’re very glad to get to drop this very special song into this secret radio mix.

- The Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

Rare Italian instrumental noodles from the mid ’70s.

15. The Velvet Underground - “After Hours”

*Not ruined. Affected, but not ruined. She said so.

16. Jean Cussac in “Le Livre de la Jungle” - “Etre un homme comme vous”

One musical adventure we’ve really enjoyed is checking out familiar musicals in unfamiliar tongues. And though you may not think of Disney’s “Jungle Book” as a musical, you’d be mistaken. This version of “I Want to Be Like You” is a particular delight. It plays straight with the original, but the presence of the French language inflects the rhythms with a Parisian flavor that I’d never noticed before.

17. Duch Kim Hak - “Neary Sok Khley”

Another hit from the Cambodian treasure chest. Paige noted as we listened the first time, “This one has good chords,” and we took to referring to it as Cambodian ska. I think it’s meant to be a simple twist song, but there’s a royal quality to the chords that really puts it above a straightforward dance novelty. And his vocal delivery is ace!

18. The Fall - “Terry Waite Sez”

Not much needed on this one! This is one in a host of classics from 1986’s “Bend Sinister.” The Brix E. period of The Fall is just the BEST.

19. Twiggy - “When I Think of You”

Paige: “I was made aware of this record by The Deccas [a band she briefly sang with in Chicago]. They knew every single girl group song that had ever been recorded. This was the same band where the guy who was obsessed with Scott Walker and looked like him and his house was very /60s and he had a word processor. I didn’t even know what a word processor was. That’s unrelated to this song though. She’s one of the great singing models — and maybe next week we’ll play another one. There are three known.”

- Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

20. Hallelujah Chicken Run Band - “Alikulila”

SO happy to have this album on vinyl at last! It was just released in this format, and Analog Africa is always so good at including notes about the album’s genesis. These guys are from Zambia, and they pioneered the translation of mbira parts into guitar parts, while writing these amazing songs that I’ve never heard anything like. Except for one. One of their songs sounds a bit like a Bound Stems song. Which is weird, because obviously we’d never heard them when we wrote “Cloak of Blue Sky.” It just proves to me that they were both way ahead of their time and working in an idiom that could and should be hit music today. It sounds so alive and creative and insightful, like good indie rock should.

21. Lithics - “Snake Tattoo / Twisting Vine”

Lithics is one of my favorite contemporary bands. They played Foam in St. Louis like five years ago, right after I’d discovered their existence via the excellent album “Borrowed Floors.” Foam was a tiny little club that fit maybe 50 people and was sure to go apeshit for this show. I was SO psyched to be there… but the night of, we couldn’t get out because we were staying out in the Illinois woods and it was snowing enough to make the return trip too treacherous. As much as that’s one of the main shows of my life I wish I’d seen, I’m glad that Brad got to see them and tell me about it later. I hope I can catch them in NYC.

22. Sunny Blacks Band - “Mission spéciale”

OK, I admit that I’m obsessed with Melome Clement — or Meloclem, as he is known by some in Benin. He’s the composer of hundreds of T.P. Orchestre songs, and I’ve written about him a ton. I know he plays some horns and I believe he plays the slashing guitar that you hear in this track. I don’t think that’s him singing but I’m not sure; his voice is very malleable. Sunny Blacks Band is the group he was playing with when the T.P. Orchestre guys found him. It’s hard music to track down, but I love how much it rocks — or “jerks,” as they said at the time. We’ve also played the track “Holonon Die” on here and it jerks too, with an extended, wild electric guitar solo over pulsing trap and hand drums. What a freakin powerhouse Meloclem is.

23. Betti-Betti - “La Vie de Bettie Bettie Chanteuse Camerounaise”

This recording is a beautiful mystery. It appears in a film called “Badiaga,” which I encountered while looking for music by Betti-Betti, a superstar within her nation of Cameroon. This comes from one of the final scenes in the movie. There are different summations of the film (we don’t understand the language of the film itself), but apparently the story is “inspired by” the story of Betti-Betti, who was discovered as a child wandering in a marketplace, brought up extremely poor and eventually sang (a cappella?) on the radio, whereupon she became an instant success. She played constant shows and played with many of the region’s heaviest hitters, including T.P. Orchestre (they recorded an album together, which is how we found out about her). As for this recording — I don’t know if this is sung by Betti-Betti or by the actress playing her. And I don’t know the male character singing alongside her, though I’m guessing he’s a real-life music figure himself. It’s a beautiful duet, rich with feeling, and the performance footage throughout the movie is electrifying.

P.S. This film is also how I found out about Eko Roosevelt, whose “Me To a Dey My Own” is an epic upbeat number we’ve played on WBFF!

24. Guided By Voices - “The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory”

A perfect song, meant for the opposite of social distancing: to be sung full-bore in a crowd with one’s arms slung around sweating strangers, straight into the face of the band (I’ll be the one hooting the recorder part). This is how legends are made.

- Janko Nilovic & Soul Surfers - “Maze of Sounds”

I love the bass part on this album as much as the album artwork, which we will surely have included somewhere around here. This guy’s story is pretty interesting: he was born in Istanbul to a Montenegrin father and Greek mother, and his career started by working with French singer Davy Jones (but not THAT Davy Jones) in 1967. He got into recording for sound libraries, working in soul and funk and psych music, gained a serious composing rep and eventually, maybe inevitably, his music started getting sampled by the likes of Dr. Dre and Jay Z. Not bad, not bad!

25. Gnonnas Pedro et Ses Dadjes - “La Musica en Verité”

Maybe someday we’ll release the version of this song that we recorded in the early days of the pandemic. This is the final track (if not the final song) on the immortal “Legends of Benin” album on Analog Africa. My favorite aspect is how the guitar plays the same mesmerizing piece throughout, but the percussion evolves over the course of the song until it has gradually changed completely. It’s a subtle dynamic but it’s a master clinic in how to run a drone song the right way. Also, that organ part is just beautiful.

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volturialice · 5 years ago

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Spork Haven chapter 19: hur-fucking-rah

welcome to spork haven, where I spork the EL James fic you’ve never heard of

previous chapter | next chapter | contents

previously on Spork Haven:

actor!Edward went to NYC and yelled at hotel maid!Bella a lot and it was shitty! this somehow led to them confessing their love for each other! thanks, I hate it!

chapter 19 starts with Edward on the phone with his agent/bodyguard whatever, Taylor, who if you’ll recall is the exact same character from fifty sh@des. he tells Taylor why he’s in NYC and what’s been going on with Bella. Taylor offers to make Bella a star, which Edward turns down on her behalf because he doesn’t think it’d be “her bag.”

yeah, because he doesn’t know her at all. the only things he knows about Bella are that she likes cellos and his dick him. (no really, that’s actually in the text.)

Taylor advises Edward to keep his relationship under wraps, both for publicity reasons and because he’s worried Edward might be "at risk” from the bad guys who are after Bella.

ah yes, that’s the spirit. he keeps calm and carries on, flying back to Vegas to be ready for another day of work.

that night he is awakened from his “delicious fucking erotic dream about little Bella Swann” by a call from none other than the delicious little orphan herself. he asks her if she’ll come with him as his date to an awards show in LA the day after tomorrow. she responds “like a date?” as if this is a huge new concept. apparently these characters do not remember that they’ve already BEEN ON A GODDAMN DATE.

yes. she has. WITH YOU, FUCKFACE. remember that thing with the lake picnic? Edward dressing up like a maintenance guy? the classic stupid EL James Erotic Elevator Kiss™? why are they acting like this will be their first date when they already made a huge honking deal out of their actual lame first date?? I don’t know but I hate them (and erika) more than ever.

Bella tells Edward the reason she’s never been on a date before (🤬) is because her grandmère didn’t let her date boys (or girls. sorry, Edythe.) then she says

now, I really want to like this line, because it hearkens back to one of my all time favorite Edward lines in canon, where he tells Bella the reason he’s so good at piano and languages etc is because he had to pass the time while the rest of the Cullens were off fucking each other’s brains out.

but I CAN’T because of the STUPID CONTEXT of this ASININE FIC whose author apparently can’t even remember the things SHE HERSELF WROTE a few chapters ago.

anyway, Bella says she’ll ask Emmett and Jasper if she can fly to LA for a date with Edward. I hope they say yes but only on the condition that they get to come too and sit between Edward and Bella the whole time.

Edward is in a great mood the next day because it’s Tanya’s last day on set. “Hur-fucking-rah,” says Edward (no, really.) he gets Eric (hi Eric!) to

you know what would be a better way to cut ties with Tanya and discourage her from assaulting you in public? not buying her a present.

just saying.

anyway Eric buys Tanya an antique mirror, which Edward finds “very apt.” get it? it’s because she’s old and vain. in unrelated news, I am going to buy erika an antique mirror for christmas.

Edward has a fun day on set because Mike’s teen daughters come to visit and he gets to show them around. you’d think Mike would’ve learned to keep any child of his far, far away from Safe Haven!Edward by now, but apparently not.

when Edward gets back to his hotel room, surprise! Bella is there! she is wearing “fuck—a skirt.” Edward is very happy about this

mmm. sexy.

idk about y’all but nothing gets me going like a nice complex simile about a specific big ol’ concrete barrier that holds back water.

anyway they kiss and stuff, Bella tells Edward that the criminal trial she’s a witness in is taking some days off so she’s flown in for the weekend, and they kiss some more.

then we get another classic erika Infantilize-Then-Sexualize moment, of the slightly more unusual self-directed variety

yikes. while they are making out, Edward asks Bella if Emmett and Jasper came with her (they did), referring to them as “the Chuckle Brothers.”

now I, unfortunately, have never been a British child, so I had to google the real life Chuckle Brothers. they did not disappoint:

from now on I will be picturing these two dudes whenever Emmett and Jasper are mentioned. no further questions.

anyway, Edward and Bella start to get it on

I would make y’all another sideburns moodboard but I can’t. not again. i’m...not strong enough.

anyway, they go on to have sex in a seriously dull passage about which only two things are notable:

1. the writing is beyond atrocious. like. there’s not a comma IN SIGHT. here’s a real sentence, copied and pasted directly:

I free her hair bringing my hands down to the sides of her breasts and with my thumbs I pull each of the cups of her bra down freeing her breasts and they’re forced up by the under wire of her bra pointing directly at me.

try reading that out loud without pausing for breath at any point. I dare you.

2. they don’t use a condom.

jesus h. christ on a cracker, if erika gives these characters a baby then as god is my witness I will call cps

best “fucks”

“fucking glee”

“an unexpected fucking delight” (bella)

“fucking innocent” (bella)

“anxious as fuck” (bella)

“a fucking girl” (edward)

“completely fucking blank” (edward’s mind)

next chapter: a fucking moron

#spork haven #twilight fanfiction #unsafe for work text //#return of the Sideburns Kink

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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 5 years ago

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so. ach’m. he is an amphibious alien character thats been with me for a long time and i havent had the feeling for him in YEARS. but i have to talk about him because hes still got a special place in my heart despite my uh... abandonment of him.

this is really long so it’s under a cut

first things first: his name, Ach’M Raten, is pronounced, Ahk-mm Rah-ten. it has a meaning to it because apparently those are names derived from words in his people’s language, which you’ll find out about more later.

he was someone i made when i was RIGHT in the middle of my Alien phase, and was also just starting my OCT xDDD phase on deviantArt. (i was. not good at octs bc i had no concept of cohesive storytelling in a limited timeline comic format and also had really bad add that made it impossible to ever finish anything.) the OCT he was apart of was Tapestry of Horror, which, honestly i think my audition comic for that was the only good one i made for that entire tourney. this was his reference for it:

ahh, look at that. the nostalgia is all coming back to me. the amount of “:U” which was a go-to face for 13 year old me. this was posted back in 2010! wow!

the reason the 63 on his age is crossed out is because THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY THE ORIGINAL REFERENCE I HAD FOR HIM! i had to redraw him because his original reference (which unfortunately has been lost to the annals of time) was too human looking? and tapestry of horror was an anthro/alien/no-human-faces tourney, so they told me i should probably change his face up some and then he’d be fine, and ORIGINALLY, ACH’M WAS AN OLD MAN. I DON’T KNOW WHY I ALSO CUT HIS AGE IN HALF BUT IT’s PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS THE INDECISIVE BASTARD THEN THAT I STILL AM TODAY.

supposedly he used to slink around in shadows and laugh and speak in rhymes, and im pretty sure that was a side effect of edgy 13 year old interests? like, i think i tried giving him kind of a creepy serial killer vibe? and then just never executed it? he had an epithet of, The Laughing Cyborg, which is still relevant in later versions of him.

oh and here, have some TOP SECRET ACH’M LORE COURTESY OF THE IMAGE DESCRIPTION OF HIS REFERENCE:

i don’t believe i was lying. i think i did originally make an amphibious alien woman character that just later evolved into ach’m. i’m sure if i had any of my sketchbooks from that age physically with me i would ABSOLUTELY be able to find it and show you guys but i dont so, rip.

because i was trying to be coy and ~*~mysterious~*~ i never originally explained his backstory on his reference. it was planned to be something revealed overtime through ~*~dramatic~*~ flashbacks and dream sequences that i did not have the ability to execute. its always followed the same beats, though: ach’m and his younger brother were child refugees from a civil war on his home planet. in their initial escape, ach’m is caught under a crumbling wall and loses his leg, and they’re later found and adopted by a retired opera singer of another species. through vague never-established family issues, ach’m leaves his adoptive mother and joins a travelling circus.

this is his adoptive mother:

her name is (and i’m sorry) Nippeteranulzenkodelonio. You can just call her Nippy, though. Please just call her Nippy.

god, her species used to be called draconae? what the heck. in future designs, those religious symbols are obsolete and replaced with other symbols relating to a galaxy-wide secret society that has NOTHING to do with ach’m and i never figured out how nippy was involved in it, so we’re not delving into that.

they both come from a planet called Naruviie, which in his language just means, “Land of the People,” “naru” being the part that means people. i never like, fully fleshed out their planet aside from very vague allusions to it being mostly swampland populated by cute little amphibious animals like this fun guy:

pictured: a gold Yarlian, which is basically the Naruviian equivalent of a dog.

SO BACK TO ACH’M AND THE TAPESTRY OF HORROR: i only won the first round because my opponent had to drop out, and i lost the second round. it didn’t really matter though, because ach’m remained an incredibly popular character to followers of the tourney, and No, It Was Not Because Of Me. it was because one of the other competitors who i was friends with included him in her rounds, mostly for jokes, and i thought it was the best thing ever. the problem with that though, was that even though in every entry for the tourney she would say IN THE DESCRIPTION that he was NOT her character, everyone thought he was. because she was just a more well-known artist in that community, and i was just. some 13 year old.

but anyway, she was a more competent storyteller than i was so she actually like... gave him more character than i was capable of at the time, and she would ask me if i characterized him wrong and i would always be like, “NO ITS GREAT HES PRETTY MUCH WHAT I WANTED HIM TO BE BUT JUST COULD NOT WRITE FOR WHATEVER REASON!” not that i ever expressed it like that because... from what i remember about my 13 year old self... i was very Virgo in all of my statements. yikes.

im not close with that artist anymore, and our interests have diverged a lot since then, but i always think back to that time with fondness. for my tween mind, having an artist that i looked up to see my character and actually like them enough to do that absolutely had a profound effect on me at the time.

ALRIGHT NOW FOR THE NEXT VERSION OF ACH’M, 2015:

see i told you his name had a meaning. and look, i even gave his language a name! wow! such developments!

his backstory didn’t really change, except this time instead of a wall falling on him and crushing his leg, he was just born with a bad leg that had to get amputated. apparently. i also changed up his personality more. instead of him being this one dimensional jokey boy that talked in a bad accent, he became more of this like... roguish bardish type of character? he’s more flirty, more prone to being pride and false bravado, tells ridiculous stories of his life to appear more dashing, and, get this: i literally put in his updated backstory that he used to work more Colorful Jobs (ie: he was a prostitute at some point)

his brother also has more of a presence and an actual character? i think i planned on him being dead in his 2010 iteration. Orith in this version is a grouchy mechanic/space engineer with a prosthetic eye. oh yeah that’s right him and ach’m were like. attacked by giant birds at some point in their childhoods? i think i had it that the giant birds were a natural predator of his fucking species????????? and thats why ach’m is missing an arm and an ear

moving on.

LOOK WOW I GAVE ACH’M MULTIPLE OUTFITS!! WOW!!!

big himbo energies. i knew what was up.

and that leads us to the latest ach’m that i’ve drawn which is these sketchy things from 2016

his cybernetic arm looks completely different now, he doesn’t have the robot ear anymore and his brother (wow an actual picture of his brother!) doesn’t even have a robot eye, and nippy now looks actually old and is like. completely blind now. i didn’t even realize my art style changed THAT much in the span of like, one and a half years until like.. JUST now. wow.

he definitely looks like more of a scumbag now, and i don’t think i ever made anymore drastic changes to his backstory. i’m probably going to take another crack at it though because uhhhhh i dont like a lot of the implications i made in his backstory lmfao.

anyway yeah that’s the story of ach’m!

#my ocs #ach'm #< look he has his own tag now. do apostrophes even work in tags?

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lanternlightseer · 6 years ago

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The Paranormal and the Sitcom: A So Weird & Girl Meets World Crossover Essay

Inspired by @fi-phillips | @thats-so-weird | @boymeetsworldconfessions | @rilaya | @rileymatthews-xo

Introduction

From 1999 to 2001, Zoog Disney aired a paranormal show named So Weird, the Disney version of the X-Files. Micheal Jacobs revived Boy Meets World with a continuation called Girl Meets World. On the surface So Weird and Girl Meets World have nothing in common. The former show filmed in Canada, the latter was filmed in California. Cooksney and Jacobs couldn't be more different, Jacobs is known for comedic sitcoms like My Two Dads, John Astole and producer Jon Cooksney, focused on speculative fiction. Astole worked on Stargate, and the 1980s Twilight Zone revivals. Disney Channel hosting their television shows is their only commonalities so far. What made these programs successful was pushing Disney's Astole limits on what considered acceptable. As a result, So Weird was the darkest show Disney Channel aired where Girl Meets World was one of the smarter television shows of modern Disney Channel. Audiences don't think of Disney tackling death acceptance, religion, or feminism

Fiona "Fi" Philips (Cara DeLizia) along with her older brother Jack, join their mother Molly Phillips (Makenzie (Phillips) on her comeback tour. Having a Rockstar mom isn't easy, especially when evil spirits begin stalking Fiona. When Annie (Alexz Johnson) arrives a paranormal panther follows suit. Riley Matthews (Rowen Blanchard) along with her best friend Maya Hart (Sabrina Carpenter) continue the lessons her father learned almost Boy Meets World. At six years old I loved stories about hauntings and dark creatures, so, So Weird naturally appealed to me. Nostalgia over Boy Meets World influenced my decision to watch its sequel and the quality of it surprised me. This cross-over essay's purpose is dissecting these shows popularity and their similarities rather than their differences.

Surface Similarities & Differences

At the surface level SW and GMW's similarities are minor., Fi Phillips and Riley Matthews are our brunette primary protagonists; Annie Thelon and Maya Hart are our blonde secondary protagonists. Fandoms hated Annie and Riley because they interfered with the fandoms' favorites then subsequently blamed for the lackluster third seasons. Celebrities Carpenter and Johnzon used their shows as advertisement for their music careers. Actually Disney gave Carpenter a record deal before casting her as Maya. Carpenter is talented but still sounds like a Disney pop star, however, Johnson has more experience. SW had better music because there was a larger variety of genres like Rock, Pop, Blues, and Celtic music. SW alluded to Celtic and Greek mythology like changelings and sirens. GMW alluded to BMW and nothing else like Cory and Shawn's jellybean scene. Both shows had actors who appeared in crime shows including Carpenter and Eric von Detten.*1

What else SW and GMW had in common was that they had realistic friendships and family dynamics. Friendships weren't used as problem-solving devices but to deepen the characters. Jack (Patrick Lewis) and Clu (Eric von Detten) hung out because they wanted to not because the plot required them to. Parents were written as people. Molly struggled with widowhood and had goals outside of being a mother. Irene felt inferior to her younger sister and Ned Bell was a biker before he married Irene. In addition, Cory taught History yet offered fatherly advice to his daughter and her friends. Single mother, Katy, struggled with her part-time job and caring for Maya. As siblings, Jack/Fi and Riley/Auggie neither fought constantly nor always got along. 'Singularity' Jack and Fi do nothing but argue but in 'Medium' Jack uses "colourful language" when a psychic angers Fi. In GMW, Riley and Auggie argued in 'Forgiveness' then have a touching moment in 'Christmas Maya.' When writing only children Jacobs and Astole never relied on only child stereotypes instead showing the complexity of being one. Not to mention, as an only child myself, I loved this. Maya and Annie weren't spoiled were confused over siblings concepts, like sharing. Trapped in endless detention, Annie's confused by Jack standoffishness finding out that he falsely believes that Annie's replacing his sister. After assuring him that was never her intention, she and Jack become friends. Likewise, Maya confuses Rucas' (Riley/ Lucas) relationship with that of a brother-sister one because she doesn't understand how siblings act. Siblings are loving and friendly but also bicker like Lucaya (Maya/Lucas). Eventually, they develop sibling dynamics with other characters, Annie/Jack and Maya/Lucas.

Neither show's focus was on romance. SW focused on family while GMW focused on friendship and love interests didn't appear in more than one episode. Jack's girlfriend, Gabe, appeared in 'Angel.' Ryan was Fi's first kiss in 'Second Generation' and GMW had two date episodes. 'Brother' was about Cory and Topanga's date night; 'First Date' was about Lucas and Riley first kiss. If romance wasn't plot important then why did GMW develop a shipping war while SW was immune to such disputes? In comparison to GMW, SW had limited couple options meaning there weren't many options before couples became slash or incestuous Those options are: Annie and Fi with either Clu or Carrey. GMW avoids this pitfall with a diverse amount of characters but started shipping wars by introducing the leads and love interest simultaneously. Fanon favourites were Jack/Annie, Carrey/Molly, Lucas/Maya despite the intended couples are Cory/Topanga, Riley/Lucas, and Fi/Clu.

Why did Anti-Annie fans hate her less than Anti-Riley fans? Again, the fandom hated Riley more because of differences in character casting. If a Jerkass character is among the main cast the fandom automatically absolves them, giving their retribution to the kinder characters. Maya's the "broken bird" so fans will prefer her and discount Riley giving fans reason to pair Maya in a love-hate romance. For extra information on this, TvTropes offers an analysis using Nickelodeon television as examples. SW main characters aren't jerkasses toward their friends meaning Annie gets less hate and Friend-Lovers are on equal levels with Love-Hate ones.

Seekers: Fiona & Riley

Seekers of the 12 Archetypes are constantly searching for expanded knowledge of the world at large or themselves. Riley and Fi want to understand other people's perspectives in a worldly sense (Riley) and supernaturally (Fi). However both are open-minded toward unproven phenomenon as opposed to our blond protagonists who rather "go with the flow." Also as the primary protagonists they possess the most contradictions of their worlds. Fi's an amateur parapsychologist but wants a normal life to protect her family. ('Lightening Rod') Fi is a computer geek struggling academically but loves learning new subjects ('Tulpa', 'Escape', 'Vampire'). In comparison, Riley succeeds with her schoolwork but is naïve to the world around her. ('Pluto') She insecure often becoming victim to peer pressure but craves uniqueness away from her peers ('Popular', 'Jexica') Riley and Annie love feminine hobbies – makeup and shopping – but love masculine pursuits too. Both of them love the outdoors, athletics, but are terrible at sports. ('Ski Lodge' in GMW and 'Sacrifice' in SW) Riley can't make the cheerleading team but loves basketball; Fi fails at baseball but tries appreciates the sport. ('Singularity', 'Rah Rah') Contradictions make them rounded characters but causes internal conflict when they attempt to form a stable Ego.

Upon waking up in the middle of the night, Riley eavesdrops on her parents where she doubts if she's good enough compared to her parents. After all Topanga is a successful lawyer, Cory is a successful teacher, and have a perfect fairytale love. ('Cory & Topanga') Unable to connect with her father, Rick, Fi seeks resemblances between herself and him. Just like Riley's atelphobia, Fi feels disconnected from her family because of her paranormal interests. An example is 'Strange Geometry' where Fi feels betrayed that her mother kept Rick obsession a secret. Since Lucas doesn't differentiate between Riley and Maya during the love triangle, Riley further doubts her worth as a girlfriend. In the pilot and a deleted 'Upstate' scene, Riley molds herself into Maya so she'll have an identity. Constant identity searching is another aspect of the Seeker archetype.

Caretaking drives our protagonists to seek out the world's answers. Fi wants closure with her father yet her investigations aren't just for her benefit, but for the benefits of her loved ones. Molly's friends Rebecca left when she was Fi's age, thus Fi confronts Rebecca's "daughter" so Molly will have some closure of her own. Reluctantly, Fi leads the two of them to Rebecca's house where history repeated itself again; Rebecca's family disappeared again leaving Molly more betrayed and confused. 'In Forgiveness' Riley back talks to Kermit wanting answers as to why he left her best friend when she was younger. Town members become annoyed by Fi when she forces them to remember the alien invasion the day before. ('Memory') Fi helps a coma girl's mother and grandmother with technology to revive the girl from her coma even though these people are strangers to her. ('Lost') Riley invades her friends' boundaries so Maya will have hope ('Master Plan'), tries jumping into a bull pen to save Lucas ('Texas'), and keeps her friends in a stairwell so they'll reflect on their surroundings ('High School'). Fi challenges Bricriu to hangman so he'll stop possessing her brother. ('Will-o-Wisp') Riley gives up her relationship with Shawn, her godfather, so Maya will have a father. She forgets her affections for Lucas so Maya will have a chance at love. ('Texas', 'New Years') Occasionally their actions cause annoyance among their friends but its for the greater good. Sacrificing one's own desires is the key component in the Caretaker's goal.

Creators: Annie & Maya

Creators turn illusion into reality and similar to Seekers, Creators are invested self-identity and possibilities. When we're introduced to Annie and Maya both are immediately drawn to creative fields. By the ending of 'Lightening Rod', Annie confides in Fi that she's always had an eerie connection to music and find inspiration from something as insignificant as a stick. Furthermore, Mr and Mrs Thelon inform Molly that Annie has the ability to master most any instrument. 'In the Darkness', the theme song, shows Annie playing as well as popular instruments like the guitar. Maya gained that same artistic guidance from the stars or a paint war. ('Meets Boy', 'Upstate', 'Maya's Mother'). Partly due to Carpenter portrays her, Maya masters singing and guitar quite easily. ('1961', 'Creativity') An added bonus to Annie's is that they act as retrocognition from her past.

Both blondes quickly give up old lifestyles for chances at an art or singing career. For example, Annie's ecstatic she'll join Molly's band on tour, granted her parents reason this is so Annie will have a normal and balanced life. ('Lightening Rod') Impulsive, Future Maya leaps at the opportunity when she receives a SoHo gallery internship. ('Bay Window') Creators share the fear of not having an identity. When a recording agent steals Annie's voice and likewise when the art teacher grades Maya's painting as incomplete, the girls doubt their self-worth. In 'Carnival' Annie's reflections mock her abilities when she rescues her friends from an evil ringmaster. Season one Maya wonders if Riley was right and Maya's troubled past is responsible for her artistic ability. What's more is that the Creator archetype gives the character a dangerous duality; either they're practical with their art or they drown themselves in their disillusion. Which is why the Orphan archetype lurks beneath the Creator.

The Thelons and Hart families are alive but their actions produce an orphan effect on their daughters. Traveling across the globe before the So Weird eventsprohibitedestablishing permanent roots somewhere. Kermit's physical abandonment compounded with Katy's emotional abandonment ensured that Maya wouldn't have a support system. Although being an only child isn't problematic, not having someone to depend on made connecting with others difficult. Neither would form a real connection until they made surrogate families out of the Phillips and Matthews families. Its not surprising their friends would find them selfish at times.

Death Acceptance

The major difference between Cooksney and Jacobs is Cooskney never intended lessons for So Weird whereas Jacobs' moralizing hindered character development on Girl Meets World. Jacobs's lesson was the vague statement, "People Change People" I'd argue his actual moral is not taking people for instead. Cooksney's moral, if you could consider it one, was sacrifice. Fi gets lost camping and sacrifices immediate help to save Big Foot. ('Sacrifice') Barring those morals, the writers over-arcing themes of both were acceptance. SW's primary theme was death acceptance for the Phillips and Matthews family with the minor theme of childhood acceptance Annie) and Maya. All stories lead back to sex and death, Disney's not going to discuss sexuality, but death resounds through every film since Disney's inception. Also no SW or GMW character was exempt from death confrontation. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief: Anger, Sadness, Denial, Bargaining, and Acceptance aren't linear and one may never gain acceptance. All the characters are stuck in one of the stages and only Fi gains acceptance.

Earnest Becker's seven reasons why people fear death are as followed:

1. Fear of pain

2. Fear of not knowing what becomes of our bodies

3. How our dependents will manage after our death

4. How our loved ones will cope emotionally after our death

5. Fear of an afterlife, such as eternal oblivion, or Heaven/Hell

6. Fear of dying with an unlived life

7. Fear of dying with uncompleted projects

Thantophobia is why humans behave the way they do. Rick's untimely death when Fi was three-years-old affected her because she has no memories of her father. She often resented her brother and mother because they knew him and she did not. Rick/Fi's shared fear is emotionally coping of his death. Maya struggled with coping with the metaphorical death of her father, possibly thinking he's dead to her. Kermit intentionally abandoned his family, whereas Rick intended on returning to his family, but he didn't plan on evil spirits murdering him. Fi and Maya are stuck in the anger phase of grieving. When her grandfather is visited by a banshee, Fi tracks the creature down and asks Death personified the fairness in taking her father away from her. Death responds that it will even the imbalance by extending her grandfather's life for a time. But for seasons 1 and 2 Fi copes with death by actively seeking the paranormal afterlife to escape and accept death.

Jack's death phobia is similar to Fi's except he fears losing his sister and mother like he lost his father; his nightmare is a manifestation of that fear. In the midst of gang's lucid dream, Jack leaves them for a method to awaken from the dream but is transported to the night of Rick's. Dream Rick promises he'll return, but knowing the future Jack chases after his father. Fear trapped Jack in Grief's denial stage subsequently causing his resentment of the paranormal his dad loved so much. And it's not until 'Changeling' when Jack accepts his dad's death when he starts singing again. Surprised, Clu comments that Jack hadn't sung since Rick died. Jack responds with, "Well, maybe it's time I started again."

Minor episodes such as 'Fall' (SW) and 'Gravity' (GMW) discuss death on a smaller scale. 'Fall' details Ned and his childhood friend, Sam, on the death anniversary of their other friend's drowning. Haunted by the memory, Sam is literally haunted by Pete's ghost leading to Pete's recent. The men's responses to death are vastly different; Ned would rather forget Pete's death and Sam tries to confront it. Both are part of the grieving sequence but overall, 'Fall' discuses the myriad of complex emotions after death. Childhood deaths are rightly considered "Bad Deaths" whether or not loved ones are complicit with the death, we often feel that we could've prevented it. Sam is stuck in the bargaining and grieving stages before he can move on. As the men relive that fateful day admits he was scared of dying and can finally accept death now. In 'Gravity' the teens are crushed when a beloved bakery owner dies leaving the bakery to Topanga. The episode ends with Auggie opening his gift with a note reading "It's not My-Kranian bakery, I'm dead." Cory phones telling him that he is glad Feeney isn't dead, perhaps this was an allusion to 'I Dream of Feeney' when Cory wished him ill. Riley gives the eulogy and everyone learns to cherish their loved ones while they're alive.

Next is Molly and her death phobia in the series. Molly's emotions toward her husband are erratic in all three seasons. It's been over a decade since Rick's death and she still hasn't accepted it. In the Christmas episode 'Fountain' Molly admits to a young Fi that her loss bothers her. In 'Medium' Molly began to resent Rick's memory because she felt haunted by him wishing that she could forget him. Molly misses being a lover but is guilt-ridden because she feels like she is betraying her husband. ('Fathom') And in season 3's 'Muse,' Molly and the band travel to the town of their first concert to recapture the inspiration she felt there. Molly never gains acceptance over death and I loved that this option was shown as well. Not everything is wrapped up in a happy ending.

The final lesson is accepting your own death. Self-death may be literal like the episodes 'Rebecca', 'James Garr', 'Angel' or 'Grave Mistake'. Or death can be metaphorical like Riley becoming new personas, Maya losing herself, or the death of love. The former episodes dealt with the concept of immortality and coming to terms with one's final moments. Fi investigates a girl claiming to be Rebecca's daughter in truth, she's Rebecca herself. Amazed at how much this immortal girl knows and has seen in her years, Rebecca refutes this saying that she hates her immortality. She can never marry, she had to leave Molly, her only friend, behind. Who wants to live forever? 'James Garr' is about the titular character undergo cryonic preservation as a cancer cure. The procedure's successful, but James Gar hasn't a soul anymore with this realization he gives his life to an elderly patient Jack met. In the subplot that elderly man dying of cancer beleives that whenever death comes for him he will greet death with willingness and bravery. James Garr realizing his hollow life switch places with the man so he can live a little longer. 'Grave Mistake' is about a family friend of the family who's been receiving death threats and runs to Annie and the Phillips for help. With Annie's guidance, the woman discovers her dead husband wrote "You're dead" so that she'd remember she died. It's rare that a children's show relays the message that death isn't ominous, it's part of life.

During an interview Cooksney admitted that if Disney had allowed them to, Fi would descend into Hell to rescue her father's soul.*2 Jack would have discovered his past life as a Celtic knight who begged that his next incarnation would be as Fi's older brother. Moreover, it explains that dragon's fear of Jack in 'Strangling' and aside from familial bonds, knight life explains his overprotection of him mom from a mermaid siren. ('Fathom') A tenet of the Order of the Good Death's death positivity is "I believe that my open, honest advocacy around death can make a difference, and can change culture." Cooksney probably didn't intend for SW to have so much death focus but it's applicable to the show.

'Yearbook', 'Triangle', and 'Ski Lodge' are examples of metaphorical death. Whenever Riley embraces different personas, she's undergoing an Ego Death in an attempt to discover her true self. She becomes a Goth Girl so her classmates visualize her shadow side. Contrary to her masquerade, Riley's shadow side isn't Goth but is a metaphor of her dark side coexisting with her light side. Maya lost herself during her dalliance with Lucas to understand her relationship identity contrasting he singular identity. Later on during the love triangle's conclusion, Riley's first comment is "This love triangle needs to die. Nature knows that it needs to die." Of all her friends Riley mentions death the most, examples are 'Yearbook', 'Gravity', and 'Pluto.' Continuing with this death theme involve the teenagers' fantasies as a metaphor for the death of their romance. During their respective daydreams, Riley and Maya inform each other that their dream romance isn't reality. In Dream Riley's fantasy she dies, in essence, the girls kill their ego and their romances to grow.

Childhood Acceptance

Transforming themselves from childhood trauma are Annie and Maya's ultimate goals within the series. Annie's panther and Maya's hope are key in reaching their transformations. For this essay portion, I'm using Widow's Walk', 'Pen Pal', and 'Annie's Song.' For Maya's episodes, I'll use are 'World of Terror 3', 'Forgiveness', and 'Goodbye.'

Symbolically the panther represents the death-rebirth cycle and confronting fears. According to Spirit Animal's website, those with the panther guide are blessed with powerful protectors. In addition, panthers indicate supernatural journeys with occult leanings. Therefore her character's introduction served a purpose in So Weird despite being unplanned. Finally as Annie's panther endows her with strength to confront any obstacle before her.

'Widow's Walk' acts as a transition between death acceptance into childhood acceptance. Tired of her age limiting her privileges Annie swaps ages with an elderly woman. Shocked by her transformation she finds a bottled message from the woman's husband. Desperate for her youth back Annie begs the woman to reverse their ages. Selfishly, the woman refuses due to her thinking that her husband's waiting for her at home not realizing he died in sea storm that turned the woman into a widow. Growing weaker daily Annie knows if she can't convince the woman of the truth she will die. When Annie feints in an attempt to reach the woman and true to its nature, Annie's panther appears at her side giving her strength to continue on. Obviously Annie's successful getting her age back. What's interesting are the contradictions between the elderly woman and Annie. Both characters fear death desperately clinging to life, but Annie's aware of death while the woman would rather delude herself of human mortality. At the climax the women's remorseful of her selfishness wishing she knew how to reverse her wish. Annie's regrets her wish understanding living in the present is better than living in living in the future.

Similarly 'World of Terror' along with 'Pen Pal' shows the girls' adolescence if their positive influences were absent in their lives. By befriending Jennifer and not meeting Riley, Annie and Maya become rebellious Goths. Maya no longer believes that she deserves good things; Annie pushes her friends away. Following this change, Alternate Annie's panther is a worthless tattoo, Alternate Maya begins bulling Riley for not letting her in her bedroom. . Deprived of hope or understanding our alternates protagonists cannot accept their pasts. Being Disney, these girls defeat their alternates. Annie through using her panther power, Maya through befriending Riley in the parallel universe.

These last three deal with Maya and Annie discovering the truth and making amends with their childhoods. In 'Forgiveness' Maya writes and letter to her father, Kermit, in an attempt to forgive him as part of Cory's homework assignment. That following day Kermit returns to town hoping what his daughter said in her letter was true. Unable to forgive Kermit, he leaves once more reducing Maya to tears. As a result Maya realizes she's forgiven herself for believing she had caused Kermit's departure. By forgiving herself, Maya's ability to accept her past and find a new father figure in Shawn Hunter when he adopts her in 'Goodbye.'

In the penultimate episode the characters travel to a Native American reservation as a break from touring. Unlike her friends Annie can't enjoy her day off with strange flashbacks coming to mind. Coyote possesses the tribe's leader when a little girl becomes lost in the forest, forcing Annie to remember her childhood memories. Years earlier the Thelon family visited a jungle for a research assignment, little Annie awakens before her parents do and wanders into the forests. She happens across a petrified tribal man and it's only when a poisonous snake attacks her she realizes the danger she's in. As her parents discover their daughter's disappeared, the man rushes her to his village in an attempt to save her life. With shaman magic, the man's father removes the venom and takes Annie to a location where her parents will find her. Grateful Annie sacrificed her life to save his son, the father promises to protect her all her life in the form of a panther. With full understanding of her childhood, Annie manages to accept her past as Maya did.

Conclusion

Girl Meets World and So Weird are different shows catering to wildly different audiences. Still, each character follows similar archetypes as well as themes people wouldn't expect of Disney Channel to allow on their network. More importantly, the fact that it does shows its capability to portray mature, darker subject matters for all audiences. Readers may disagree with my argument but these are shows the current generation should watch. Girl Meets World is a television show that my generation should watch. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my essay and I would love it if you gave me your opinions on each program, as well.

End Notes

*1 – Many Disney Channel actors starred in Law & Order: SVU episodes. Von Detten, Carpenter, and Kimberly Jean Brown as examples were in that Law & Order spinoff. Someone even wrote a crossover fanfic of GMW and SVU. If a fan theorist could invent a theory that Disney and any crime universe are connected I would be ecstatic.

*2 – Walt Disney has had hell landscape stories since the 1930s. Silly Symphonies' 'Goddess of Spring' had Satan-Hades drag Persephone to Hell. Fantasia ended with the song 'Night on Bald Mountain' where Demon Satan tortures souls only stopped when Holy light/God intervenes. Frollo damns Esmerelda to Hell if he can't possess her and little mentions God and Satan. (Hunchback of Notre Dame) CoCo takes place primarily in the afterlife. Disney Channel could've done a Hell episode.

Links

www . orderofthegooddeath resources / death-positive-movement

so-weird . proboards

Disney . wikia wiki / So_Weird

www . youtube user / OrderoftheGoodDeath (Ask A Mortician)

www . youtube user / littlemissfuneral (Little Miss Funeral)

www . youtube user / UnderTheKnifeShow (Under the Knife)

www . fanfiction s / 6178294 / 1/Love-As-True-As-Time

www . fanfiction s / 6067416/1 / An-Ultimate-Hey-Arnold-Essay

www . spiritanimal . info / panther-spirit-animal /

post / 125280313440 / so-weirdgirl-meets-world-parallels-these-are-my (SW & GMW)

#so weird #girl meets world #mine #fi phillips #annie thelen #alexz johnson #cara delizia #maya hart #sabrina carpenter #riley matthews #rowen blanchard #disney #disney channel #the disney channel #comment leave notes #reblog

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rafaellacapulet · 6 years ago

Photo

My heart was always a war, bloodied beats asking for a respite, in the arms of a knifelike cold.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Rafaella Sibella Delfini Capulet PRONUNCIATION: rah-fye-ai-lah see-meh-nah del-fi-na cap-yew-let MEANING:

Rafaella -- an Italian female name taken from the male name Rafael, meaning "god has healed". The name was given to a girl who was boy with a war cry on her lips and a fierce heart beating away. But all they could see was the healing touch she carried; how she repaired two broken hearts and made them fall in love all over again.

Ximena -- Ximena is an old Spanish and Portuguese female equivalent of the Hebrew biblical name Simon (which means ‘hearkener, listener’). It was the name of her mother’s best friend, a proud woman who was as clever as she was damnably honest. When Rafaella was a child she often times confused Ximena with her mother, for even then, she knew that they loved each other and loved each other well.

Delfini -- It was a name that carried weight, once. Before it was associated with a drug den and a fallen legacy, the name Delfini was synonomous with young money and rising success. But now it’s dead, long forgotten in the mix of opioids and Montague drugs. What once was a mansion is now a dilapidated building of broken things. Including her parents and their name.

Capulet -- Need more be said?

NICKNAME(S): Rosaline, Rafi, Raf, Ella PREFERRED NAME(S): Raf, Ella, Rafaella BIRTH DATE: August 7th, 1992 ZODIAC: Leo, the Lion GENDER: Cisfemale PRONOUNS: She/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual. NATIONALITY: Italian ETHNICITY: Black (African), White (German) CURRENT LOCATION: Verona, Italy TITLE(S): Consigliere

background

HOMETOWN: Verona, Italy. SOCIAL CLASS: Upper Class. EDUCATION LEVEL: Received her Laurea (Bachelor’s) in Business and Art History at the University of Milan. She graduated a year earlier than traditional, receiving her degree in 2 years instead of 3. FATHER: Giovanni Delfini (biological), Vincenzo Capulet ( neé Russo) (adopted) MOTHER: Marta Delfini (biological), Elena Capulet (adopted) SIBLING(S): None. PET(S): None (yet). OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: Juliana Capulet (cousin), Tiberius Capulet (cousin) PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: Alexander Rallis (ex-best friend), Bellamy Santo Domingo (ex-best friend), Odessa Vernon (ex-best friend), Matthias Warren (former pseudo-brother), Lawrence Vernon (former friend) ARRESTS?: None. PRISON TIME?: None.

occupation & income

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Consigliere -- it is not unsurprising that this is the occupation that affords her the best income. The hours she works for this job are far beyond the traditional “full-time” arrangement and the overtimes demands far more taxing. But the numbers in her bank mollify her slightly. SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Art Curator of the Twelfth Night Museum -- she specializes in Medieval and Renaissance art, but her eye for Surrealism is unparalleled. When she applied for the job it was under an alias so that she wouldn’t be favored due to the Capulet name. But she takes full advantage of it when acquiring new pieces for exhibits and galleries. TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: Tutor -- in the free time she has, Rafaella tries to tutor those in the lower income areas of Verona. Many of her students are within the Lower Secondary Education range, which allows her to exercise her knowledge of writing and history, but she doesn’t charge. The parents who can afford to typically offer her 20 or so euros and food. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Very much so. PAST JOB(S): Museum Volunteer, Museum Intern, Art Instructor, History Teacher SPENDING HABITS: Average. Rafaella primarily spends the amount expected of a middle-class child, but every so often she treats herself in the manner an upper-class child would. She favors the feel of vintage clothes and items, but will indulge herself with a Dolce and Gabbana perfume or a Versace bag. After going without the bare necessities, she has learned to appreciate what she has and take care of it, which means that the more expensive wares she buys tend to be long-lasting -- therefore, allowing her to resist the urge to splurge. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: Her rose blade ring given to her by Tiberius, a stamp bearing the Delfini crest, a picture of the three Capulet cousins, and a hair clip given to her by Alexander Rallis.

skills & abilities

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: Moderate to strong. For the most part, Rafaella has the average strength of a woman who lifts four times a week. But when she’s angered or has an adrenaline rush, she’s quite strong. OFFENSE: Whenever in a violent situation, her first instinct is to reach for a knife and a gun. That is to say, she is a vocal proponent of the belief that offense is the best defense. Her hand-to-hand combat is strong, but it is primiarly because she loves blood and seeing it run red -- whether it be her own or her opponent’s. DEFENSE: As previously stated, she doesn’t quite believe in it. Which is to say, it can be rather week. SPEED: Below Average. While Rafaella enjoys running and things that challenge her speed-skill, she isn’t the fastest, believing that strength, above all, should be a priority. That, and the length of her limbs somewhat inhibits the speed of her coordination, making her somewhat slow. INTELLIGENCE: It is known that Rafaella is a sharp woman, being as cunning and observant as she is. The fact that she has had to apply critical thinking earlier than expected in her life has only aided that. However, what has inhibited her intelligence is her inability to empathize strongly with the plight of others and her rather singular-minded way of thinking. Rather than adapting her thoughts and opinions to change with new information, she tries to fit concepts and ideas into her own plans. ACCURACY: Above average. AGILITY: Average. STAMINA: Average. TEAMWORK: Rafaella is a strong delegator and a lead-by-example type. However, she prefers to work independently from others, within the sphere of her own authority. While she does enjoy collaborative sessions, she appreciates the role of overseer more. TALENTS: Lying, manipulating, plotting, creating, acting, designing, advising, diplomacy, networking, photographing, show-jumping, tying cherry stems with her tongue, cooking, drinking, persevering, organizing, promoting, philanthropy, business communication SHORTCOMINGS: Communicating (interpersonally), listening, empathizing, singing, trusting, unable to practice temperance, indulging, overachieving, conning, nosey, paranoid, prideful, insensitive, ambitious, selfish, conniving, conflicted, bossy, domineering, machiavellan, duplicitous, over-protective, condescending, volatile LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: Italian, Russian (learning), English, French, (learning), Spanish (learning) DRIVE?: Yes. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: Yes. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: No. PLAY CHESS?: Yes. BRAID HAIR?: Yes. TIE A TIE?: No. PICK A LOCK?: No (learning) (she typically just smashes or shoots them).

physical appearance & characteristics

FACE CLAIM: Jasmine Sanders. EYE COLOR: Blue. HAIR COLOR: Blonde. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Curly. In professional settings, she typically has it tied back. In casual settings, she has it loose. When she is working after hours, it is often in a rather volumptuous top knot. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: No. DOMINANT HAND: Left. HEIGHT: 5′7 WEIGHT: 135 BUILD: Slim. EXERCISE HABITS: Rafaella has a personal trainer and rotates between aerobics, lifting, swimming, and running. Usually when she does aerobics, she finishes with swimming. When she does lifting, she begins with running. This is not counting her sparring sessions that occur three times a week. SKIN TONE: Type III. She’s light brown/golden and has only sunburned oncfe in her life. TATTOOS: Three. One on her wrist of a cross that looks like a dagger. Another of laurels encircling the lower half of her hips. Another of a sun eclipsing the moon in a classical style on her left side beneath her breast. PEIRCINGS: She has four. Two lobe piercings and two orbitals. Three are on her feft ear, one on her right. But she often times wears an earring cuff on her right ear. MARKS/SCARS: It depends on when you encounter her. While Rafaella gets into many fights, she tries not to scar. If you encounter her on a particularly bad day, she’s likely to have some cuts and bruises. Although she has three freckles beneath her left breast, and two birthmarks -- one below her ear and the other on her lower back. NOTABLE FEATURES: Her eyes and hair. USUAL EXPRESSION: Slightly pursed lips and a furrowed brow. It isn’t quite resting bitch face, but there is a lot of judgement in this expression. CLOTHING STYLE: Primarily business casual. However, she stylizes her outfits with accesories that highlight her status and her own unique sense of style. When it comes to the weekend, though, she typically wears skirts, heels, and blouses that are pink and white more often than not. JEWELRY: Rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, anklets, barrettes. She loves them all, intermingling silver and gold. For the most part, she favors simplistic designs, but makes up for the plainness by wearing them in abundance. ALLERGIES: Bees. DIET: She maintains a primarily vegetarian diet, but will occasionally indulge in chicken or pork once or twice a week. Red meat has never sat well with her, so she has lived without. And, while she does enjoy fish, she simply doesn’t eat it that often. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: None.

psychology

JUNG TYPE: INTJ (The Architect). ENNEAGRAM TYPE: 3 -- the Achieve. MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral. TEMPERAMENT: Choleric. ELEMENT: Iron. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Rafaella keeps her emotions in neat little compartments and is often times able to dissasociate herself from them. However, when unable to do so, she becomes quiet voltile and fractured. OBSESSION(S): Control and protection. She has a need to constantly have a hand in whatever developments there are ongoing. The control is necessary for her to protect those closest to her heart: i.e. Juliana and Tiberius. COMPULSION(S): Using touch as a means of domineering and controlling the flow of conversation whenever communicating interpersonally. Having her nails done. Keeping her gun and knife clean. PHOBIA(S): None. ADDICTION(S): None. DRUG USE: Rarely. ALCOHOL USE: Consistent. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: Yes.

mannerisms

SPEECH STYLE: She speaks in a formal, confident manner -- her words are assured and firm, being as deliberately structured as they are, and a little drawn out. It’s in the overtly literate way of someone with a luxurious education and too much tutelage. Her voice is rather low and slightly raspy, which makes her sound a little like an old-money child. She isn’t. QUIRKS: She asks more questions than most people, both aloud and mentally. Before heading out her door, she adjusts every piece of jewelry on her person, even if they’re perfect. Whenever she passes by a church, she blesses herself. HOBBIES: Reading, taking photos, sketching with charcoal (strictly), collecting flowers and arranging bouquets, and researching historical figures (primarily artists and old movie stars). NERVOUS TICKS: Playing with her hair/clothes, pursing her lips, adjusting her clothes. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: Success, protection for her loved ones, and intellectual self-satisfaction. FEARS: Losing. Losing her loved ones. POSITIVE TRAITS: Ambitious, Cunning, Charming, Inventive, Daring, Observant. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Judgemental, Insensitive, Ruthless, Wicked, Violent, Machiavellan. SENSE OF HUMOR: Dark and dry. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: No. She has nothing against it, it merely feels wrong on her tongue.

favorites

ACTIVITY: Touring museums. ANIMAL: Lions. BEVERAGE: Bellinis. BOOK: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. COLOR: Pastel variations of pink. DESIGNER: Dolce and Gabbana. FOOD: Tagliatella pasta with truffle. FLOWER: Peonies. GEM: Morganite. HOLIDAY: All Saints’ Day. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: Train. MOVIE: To Have And Have Not. QUOTE/SAYING: “ …the war goes on—an ache in the bones, an ache in the gut, an ache in the heart.” - Susan Sonta. SCENERY: Mountains in the summer during Sunset. SCENT: L’Atelier de Givenchy Néroli Originel. SPORT: Equestrian sports -- dressage and show jumping. WEATHER: Cloudy days with intermittent sun and a slight breeze. VACATION DESTINATION: Barcelona, Spain.

attitudes

GREATEST DREAM: Traveling the world, knowing the Capulets, and Verona are safe and flourishing. GREATEST FEAR: Watching Tiberius and Juliana die in front of her, unable to do anything. MOST AT EASE WHEN: Wandering through a museum, uninhibited by any pressing matters or time constraints. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: Vocalizing emotions in a nonprofessional/nonbusiness setting. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Being cast out by the Capulets. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: Gaining the role of Advisor through her own efforts and earning her way into the role. It was simultaneously her worst experience because she had to spill so much blood to get there. But, still. BIGGEST REGRET: Not running away earlier. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Admitting to herself that she’s a turncoat. BIGGEST SECRET: If given the chance she would murder her parents. Brutally. TOP PRIORITIES: Currently, there are three overarching priorities she has in mind and is working towards -- ensuring the success of the Capulets, expanding their networking and business contacts, maintaining the safety and well-being of lower-income Veronans.

#diveronatask #about a girl who confused her heart with a sword | development #after 1000000 years #i have it DONE

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twistedorbeez · 3 years ago

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I'm trying to think of some cool names for myself. Like, I'm fine with my given name, I think it's fun actually (I'm named after a place so I'm literally Osaka from Azumanga Daioh), I just want more names to go by, you know?

At first I really liked going by 'Pyrrha' (pronounced 'peer-rah'), because it sounds and looks like 'vampire', and I still love that name, but it's also very feminine and I want something more masculine.

I think I want to go by 'Mersey' sometimes, I just decided.

I am simply genderweird, I am cis but not cis but also not trans, if that makes sense? I don't feel strongly female, but I also recognise that I have femininity and I'm alright with that, I'm just uncomfortable with being viewed as a 'girl.' I wish I looked more masculine, I wish more about me was more masculine, I wish my voice was deeper, I wish I was taller, I wish I wasn't so feeble, too.

But I also don't want a name, I am simply more of a concept and an experience, and I don't want to be perceived a lot of the time.

I don't know if I am non-binary, demigirl, bigender, agender or what, or if I simply just have really bad internalised misogyny, but I just want to feel more comfortable in myself and I guess I just don't like being viewed as a girl, for whatever reason.

Basically, I feel like the girl and the vampire from They Might Be Giants' 'Damn Good Times!' music video at the same time, and also an ancient writing script yet to be decoded by even the most knowledgeable linguists.

#genderweird #non binary #demigirl #bigender #agender #help me #gender stuff #genderqueer #enby

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bibbleboo · 3 years ago

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Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo,

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

#long post/ //#tw animal death ment//#GOD THIS IS SO LONG IM SRY--#idk what to call thsi au forreal yet so ill just tag it as #dabbey baby au #TY FOR ASKING THO HEART HANDS

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cfijerusalem · 4 years ago

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KEEPING OUR EYES ON THE WHEAT FIELDS

Another parable He put forth to them, saying: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. So the servants of the owner came and said to him, 'Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?' He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.' The servants said to him, 'Do you want us then to go and gather them up?' But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn Matthew' " 13:24-43.

Our learning today is about the most important of the Seven Species of the Land: wheat. In Hebrew we say ‘chi-ta’. The sound that is transliterated does not exist for ‘ch’, so try the throaty sound “h” from the back of the throat. From wheat comes bread-food for the hungry. The Hebrew word for tares (weeds) is ‘esev rah’ which need to be controlled in any field from taking over the wheat. I used to watch my father when I was a child walking his wheat fields pulling out the weeds from their roots so that his field would be clean. He had to be careful to not uproot the wheat.

At Passover time in Israel we do not eat bread with ‘hametz’ (symbolic of sin). As my Jewish friend and I study the Bible we are looking at more meanings behind the words. It is interesting that Jesus (Yeshua) tells us that we are to let the wheat and tares grow together in the end times. In Genesis 1 and 2, God created the universe. He said His creation was “very good” (‘tov meod’ in Hebrew). On the third day when He created the plants such as wheat, He said “very good” again because He knew the wheat needed to do its duty to produce bread. However, when Adam and Eve sinned and it was seen in Heaven, the wheat no longer produced only wheat but it was found growing with tares (because of sin). It is thought that the roses were without thorns before the sin of Adam and Eve. Everything changed, animals began eating one another, and the wheat was growing with tares. Jesus is saying that the first couple in the garden sinned, the tares began to grow and will continue, until He arrives to fix all that went wrong. Before eating the fruit, both man and woman were of pure mind and heart. This is what Jesus desires for His Kingdom which is coming to the earth, pure hearts and minds. We see Jesus teaching us that tares and wheat “look” pretty much alike, but the Lord will determine at that time whether He truly knows each believer or not. “But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws’” (Matthew 7:23). When He comes, He will solve the problem of sin mixed with those of pure hearts – He will judge. All creation needs the Lord since Adam and Eve. When He comes He will gather into His “barn” (His Kingdom) pure bread for the Kingdom, without “hametz” (sin). May our lives show us daily whether we still have some “hametz” in our hearts toward others, motives and behavior in our walk with God.

Let Us Enter the Throne Room of Grace

Pray for rain for the Land. Even without the expected winter rainfall, the Land is very beautiful and the Sea of Galilee very full; however, we do need the seasonal rain in order to maintain the amount of rain in the Sea of Galilee and other smaller lakes and reservoirs. Amidst Covid, the Land remains beautiful to behold in the valleys, hillsides and vales. “I will send you the seasonal rains. The land will then yield its crops, and the trees of the field will produce their fruit” (Leviticus 26:4).

Intercede fervently for Israel’s government leaders that God would give the system He wants and which is right for Israel. May the Biblical concept of leadership emerge among the present candidates. As God separates the wheat and the chaff now more than ever before, wherever there is darkness ruling, let it be exposed, and may Godly leaders emerge. “You shall appoint for yourself judges and officers in all your towns which the Lord your God is giving you, according to your tribes, and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment” (Deuteronomy 16:18).

Thank God for more Muslim believers in the Middle East countries but pray for the persecuted Christians in Iran, Iraq, Syria and around the Middle East. “Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you” (John 15:20).

Beseech God to remove from the United Nations the hateful nations that are passing many resolutions against Israel (many in 2020) than any other nations. “His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers!” (Psalm 55:21).

Proclaim His Word that “every jot and title” which the Lord told us would come to pass in the Torah will do so in these end times, bringing Israel through all of her struggles and giants that face her and bringing her back to Him with not one atheist in the House of Israel. “I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved” (Matthew 5:18).

Rejoice in Him that we are getting closer to His Return. Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?” (Matthew 24:3). Today we have more signs each and every week confirming His Soon Return.

Ask God to change hearts as Hamas lead its first-ever joint military exercise with Gaza terror factions recently making their plans against Israel. “Call your councils of war, but they will be worthless. Develop your strategies, but they will not succeed. For God is with us!” (Isaiah 8:10).

Close in prayer with asking God to help us all “Watch and Pray” as He asked us to do as we near the Coming of the Lord and His Kingdom rule. We must remember that the antichrist kingdom is also rising. We must be ready for whatever comes as we live day-to-day, one day at a time, waiting for His Return. With His Return will be the “rising of Israel” to enlighten the entire world. “But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man” (Luke 21:34-36).

May the Lord bless each of you wherever you are. Many use the Watchman’s Prayer Letter around the world. It is a privilege to write and be in touch with all of you. Thank you for including Christian Friends of Israel in Jerusalem and around the world in your prayers, that God will sustain us, strengthen us, expand the vision and cause us to be more fruitful than ever before, even in dark times. With your help and prayers, we will move through tough times together.

Working Together for Him,

Sharon Sanders

Christian Friends of Israel - Jerusalem

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igotopinions · 5 years ago

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Books I Read in 2019

* = Re-read Check out past years: 2012, 2013 (skipped), 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018. Follow me on Goodreads to get these reviews as they happen. 1) The Right To Be Cold: One Woman's Story of Protecting Her Culture, the Arctic and the Whole Planet by Sheila Watt-Cloutier 2) Nollywood: The Making of a Film Empire by Emily Witt 3) The Consuming Fire by John Scalzi 4) My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh Reads like a more mature Chuck Palahniuk. 5) Of Dice and Men by ME I won't be a dink and give myself a star rating or glowing review, but I gotta get that credit for my annual reading challenge! I'll also say it's a richly rewarding experience to, after all the work of writing & editing & publishing & promoting, to re-read something you wrote and still feel all the strong, positive feelings it gave as you figured out the first draft. 6) Lagos Noir, edited by Chris Abani 7) The Secret Lives of Colour by Kassia St. Clair 8) The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi A really fun, cleverly written coming-of-age story with just the right period touches to it. I gobbled this thing down in a couple of days, having no problem seeing why Zadie Smith spoke highly of it in her latest book of essays. 9) Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice 10) America: The Farewell Tour by Chris Hedges TL:DR This book is not toilet paper, but it sure is shit-adjacent. It gave me strong feelings, which you can read on Goodreads. 11) The Anatomical Venus: Wax, God, Death & the Ecstatic by Joanna Ebenstein Great introduction to the subject with fantastic photos & illustrations. My only frustration was the layout, which frequently breaks up the main text mid-sentence for two or even four pages of images with details captions to read or full page quotes, so it takes a bit more effort to read linearly. 12) The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany I found this through the ol' Appendix N reading list and it's not hard to see how this influenced D&D in many ways, but it has value well beyond that novelty. This is a wonderful fantasy tale in the vein of classic fairy tales, a welcome break from the kind of epics we mostly associate with the genre these days. By the final run up to the ending I was really immersed in what I was reading and I know I'll be looking up more of his books. 13) The Worst Is Yet to Come: A Post-Capitalist Survival Guide by Peter Fleming *14) A Canticle For Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller Jr. The first third remains perfect. The middle third is better than I remember, which is to say very good indeed, despite the feeling of inevitability running through it. The final third remains a pretty obvious punchline stretched out over too many pages, something basically predicted by the ending of the middle story. But! Ah! That first third! 15) The Gods of Pegana by Edward John Moreton Dunsany In theory this was an influence on Lovecraft's Dreamlands cycle books. 16) Era of Ignition: Coming of Age in a Time of Rage and Revolution by Amber Tamblyn 17) Looking for Transwonderland: Travels in Nigeria by Noo Saro-Wiwa 18) 1985 by Anthony Burgess 19) Infinite Detail by Tim Maughan 20) Seasonal Associate by Heike Geissler, Kevin Vennemann (Afterword), Katy Derbyshire (Translation) 21) Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport 22) How To Write Adventure Modules That Don't Suck Edited by Jobe Bittman 23) The Immortal of World's End by Lin Carter 24) This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life by David Foster Wallace 25) My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite *26) Idoru by Oliver Brackenbury 27) Conan by Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter 28) Heroes in the Wind: From Kull to Conan by Robert E. Howard 29) The Postman by David Brin Yes, this is that “The Postman”, the one which was adapted into a universally reviled Kevin Costner film in the mid-to-late nineties. It is, however, significantly different and far more enjoyable. It is an extremely White Straight Guy book with some curious ideas about gender in the back end, a "Rah rah, America!" through-line, and an obsession with describing horses as "steaming". It is also a well-crafted, clear, concise, quickly-moving story that avoids several obvious turns most authors would have plowed right into, and overall serves as a great exploration of the power of lies & myths. Plus, yeah, it is kind of heartwarming to imagine the concept of snail mail & the people who deliver it serving to re-unite us in the post-apocalypse. Unlike the movie, I'd honestly recommend this. Heck, I'm thinking I'll start exploring the rest of his catalog. 30) Beastie Boys Book by Michael Diamond & Adam Horowitz If you're a fan, then you'll like this. If not? I dunno man! The whole thing feels like hearing stories from your favourite old high school buddies when they're at their most honest and interesting. Great stuff. 31) Best. Movie. Year. Ever.: How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen by Brian Raftery 32) Return of the Lazy Dungeon Master by Michael Shea 33) Conan of Cimmeria by Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague De Camp, and Lin Carter. As tends to be the case, the pure Howard stories are best. Carter and De Camp are mostly interested in arranging Howard's work into a larger, more coherent universe...which is fine, I guess, but it has a way of making Conan feel less a legend striding in and out of fantastic situations, more a man - a strong, interesting man, sure, yet still just a man. *34) The Hunter by Richard Stark *35) Beast by Paul Kingsnorth 36) The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline 37) It Came from Something Awful: How a Toxic Troll Army Accidentally Memed Donald Trump into Office by Dale Beran 38) Planetes, Vol. 1-4 by Makoto Yukimura 39) The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan 40) Reawakening Our Ancestors' Lines: Revitalizing Inuit Traditional Tattooing by Angela Hovak Johnston 41) Split Tooth by Tanya Tagaq 42) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott Part life-as-a-writer therapy, part craft, this leans more toward the latter than Stephen King's ON WRITING and that's plenty fine. A nice, light read that holds value for writers at all stages of their career, I reckon. 43) Conan The Freebooter by Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp As tends to be the case with these collections, the pure Howard stories are best. That said, Lin Carter carries himself much better here than in some of the earlier volumes. There are no magical abstractions of good and evil arm-wrestling each other while Conan just stares at them... 44) The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie 45) The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H.P. Lovecraft Pretty good stuff but, as was pointed out on the excellent Appendix N Podcast, this story would have been really something had it been edited down a bit. RACISM METER: Honestly, pretty okay, which is saying something for Lovecraft! No cats with awful names or race theory or any of that. Just a good wholesome story of madness and history. 46) Difficult Men: Behind the Scenes of a Creative Revolution: From The Sopranos and The Wire to Mad Men and Breaking Bad by Brett Martin 47) Swords and Deviltry by Fritz Leiber 48) The Enchantress of World's End by Lin Carter 49) The Barbarian of World's End by Lin Carter These are not terribly good books....but I keep reading them for the goofy ideas and setting. Averaging 180 pages, they're not a big investment so hey why not? 50) The Giant of World’s End by Lin Carter The first is the best. I think because it was written as a complete story, not the literary equivalent of another episode of a Saturday morning cartoon, as the other World's End books read. As with the rest of the series it is enjoyed more on the merits of the wacky ideas than the quality of prose, including a part near the end who may well have been a source of inspiration for the Emperor of Mankind in the Warhammer 40K universe. Its main drawback is the classic scifi/fantasy failing of providing multiple asides to historical background meant to add depth to the world but which is ultimately meaningless to the reader as it has little if anything to do with the story - nevermind the characters! Heck, it's only 140 pages. It's fun. The ending actually got to me a little. It's a good place to pluck out ideas for tabletop roleplaying, if you're into that. Yup! 51) Wonder Tales: The Book of Wonder and Tales of Wonder by Lord Dunsany 52) Outcast of Redwall by Brian Jacques It's a fun little story, clearly intended for younger audiences, and I've no regrets having bought it second hand. BUT You could have clipped off nearly a hundred pages if the author didn't feel compelled to give you a highly detailed account of every single meal - including many feasts - had by characters big and small. Holy mother of God do you come out of this knowing a lot about the diets of the various woodland creatures, with their meadowberry pies and etc. 53) Björk's Homogenic by Emily MacKay 54) DCC RPG Annual Vol 1 by Steve Bean, Julian Bernick, Daniel Bishop, Jobe Bittman, Tim Callahan, Colin Chapman, Michael Curtis, Edgar Johnson, Brendan LaSalle, Stephen Newton, Terry Olson, and Harley Stroh 55) Conan the Avenger by Robert Howrd & L Sprague De Camp This is one of the better collections. Only the third story is a reconstruction from one of Howard's outlines, the rest are undiluted and glorious.That said, the back two stories are a bit cringey re: race, *especially* the reconstruction I mentioned. I'd say I don't know who looks at a Howard story and thinks "Ah, this needs more complex racial hierarchy nonsense!" but I do and that man's name is L. Sprague De Camp, apparently!The important thing is now I'm all caught up for the next episode of The Appendix N podcast, which I heartily recommend. 56) Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms by John Hodgman 57) Grand Union: Stories by Zadie Smith 58) The Singing Citadel by Michael Moorcock 59) White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo 60) The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson *61) Virtual Light by William Gibson 62) The Dragon Masters by Jack Vance *63) Roadside Picnic by Arkady Strugatsky, Boris Strugatsky, Ursula K. Le Guin (Foreword), Olena Bormashenko (Translator) *64) Bill, the Galactic Hero by Harry Harrison A fun little dunk on Heinlein and his ilk. Very slapstick. 65) Gonzo by Hunter S. Thompson *66) McGlue by Ottessa Moshfegh

STATS Non-Fiction: 23 Fiction: 42 Poetry Collections:0 Comic Trades: 0 Wrote Myself: 1

#birty

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