#rage anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi Cas how are you doing?

I’m honestly not sure if this is gonna be a rant or asking for advice until I get to the end so sorry if this is a bit long

I wanna start this off by saying I’m trying so hard to work on my self image. I’ve tried so hard for so long to love myself and my body and it’s not working. Every time it starts working something else sets off this feeling in me that I’m just not good enough and I don’t know why or how to stop it.

it’s not like I have an ED or anything so don’t worry I suppose it’s just the normal amount of ‘I’m a teenage girl who hates my body’ but it really fucking sucks. I used to be a really skinny kid and I suppose I never really realised how different everything is when your not as skinny, I’m not even plus size I’m literally a size 8 but now with the ozempi-demic and the resurgence heroin chic apparently that’s still not skinny enough for whatever fuck ass trend is going on (looking at you head-phone waist - because what the fuck was that even - and the fact that every pinterest girl ever has a thigh gap - which please do not read as hate to them because I am not a skinny shamer and it’s not their fault but I wish I could actually see something else for once too that remotely resembles me. Put it this way - you know social media has gotten bad when you come across more body type representation in TV shows than Instagram/tiktok…

and I’m so full of rage about it all too because it feels like all this self hate isn’t even my fault and how am I supposed to feel happy in a world categorically designed to make me feel insecure in order to sell me things?

i used to be a really confident kid too and I don’t even want to be skinnier I know there isn’t anything wrong with my body I just want my confidence back. I feel terrible all the time now, I feel terrible so I compare myself to others (my friends) and then I feel terrible because I feel like a bad friend because good friends don’t compare themselves to their friends and then I stress eat because I just do and then I feel terrible and then I find myself googling a million and one weight loss tips and making lists of surgeries I want to get when I’m older and then I feel terrible because I wasted another day doing nothing but feel sorry for myself. I guess I’m just wondering if you have any advice on breaking the cycle and like learning to be confident again?

I want myself back and I don’t want to be this type of person forever. I’m becoming toxic because all I ever do is compare myself and it’s seeping through the cracks and ruining everything in my life and I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a good person and a good friend and I want to be confident and I don’t know how because it feels like it’s eating me up inside all the goddamn time

I’m sorry if this read as aggressive I’ve had a really weird, long day and I just didn’t know who else to talk to honestly.

also I really wanna say quickly at the end of this just a massive thank you. I don’t have anything massive going on, not like a lot of people on tumblr that really struggle with important issues, but this blog has still been a life saver for me. You’ve created this amazing safe space for all types of people with all types of problems and you honestly deserve way more credit than you’re probably ever going to get but I swear I’m never gonna forget you.

Hi!

What you're feeling is (unfortunately) so universal, especially amongst teenage girls, and it's HORRIBLE. I've been there, and I do want you to know that it does get easier as you get older.

However, you asked for ways to break the cycle, so:

Try thinking of your body differently. Instead of thinking of it as something merely to be attractive to others (ew, fuck other people) think of it as something that is helping you live. When you get down on (for example, I'm not saying this is bad or something you have) your thicker thighs, instead of thinking "damn I wish I had thinner thighs, all the girls on pinterest have thigh gaps" focus on what your thighs do for you. "My thighs help me get from place to place. I can run with them, stretch with them, do amazing physical exercise with them to stay healthy" if you get down on your stomach, don't think about the fact that it might not be concave (which is unhealthy), think "this is my stomach. it helps me digest food, which helps me live. it's awesome that it helps me in that way."

When you start thinking of your body as a thing that helps you live, rather than something other people have any opinion on, it helps reframe it into something to be excited over. Bodies are cool, and we can be proud that they've helped us through our whole lives!

Naming you rage anon (not that I actually think you were raging lol)

[notebookmusical]

It's me rage anon and 2017 tonys wins for me for all the reasons you mentioned in your separate post PLUS (I like Avenue Q better than DEH?) BUT I think that DEH and Hello Dolly would've won the way they did anyway, even if any of the other shows played the Tony games the way Avenue Q did in 2004. Obsessed with the poll luv uuuu

omg welcome back rage anon i'm obsessed with you calling yourself that!! fun fact: i have actually never seen avenue q! admittedly i do not have a whole lot of knowledge about the 2004 tonys (would love to hear about the tony games + avenue q, if you have time)! if you haven't yet, i'd encourage you to look in the tags of the poll; i've been having a good laugh at the outrage + people's thoughts!

[electronicmail]

Firefox-official vs electronicmail

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby

okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing

[the-muppet-joker]

First you start fucking a stuffed animal then you start pissing on it then when that stuffed animal is burned you claim that it's Spirit has gone into a plastic figure and now you want to eat the figure

Excellent summary!

[ha1leysblog]

[ky-landfill]

There is a disturbing lack of Dick Grayson on your page (please please please please please please please🙏🥹)

[princessbrunette]

girl i think i speak for everyone when i say we NEED more boxer rafe ,love you princess 💋

╭────── · · ♛ · · ──────╮

“shitshit, be careful baby— fuck.” rafe pants, toned stomach tensing beneath you. he was still battered and bruised from his fight, but he’d come home and you’d been on him immediately, practically in tears over how badly you needed him. you were around six months pregnant with your first ever child together, globed stomach straining against the thin mesh of your night gown. he’d been reluctant at first, as much as his dick had been throbbing from lack of usual action — simply because he was worried about knocking around your sweet baby, a daughter he already knew he’d die for. once you begged him to let you get on top, he couldn’t argue.

his cock slides out by mistake and you whine, shakily as you drop some of your weight on him. “s’all good”. he chuckles as he grabs his shaft in his fist, sliding it back inside your hole making you preen against his touch. it’s true what they said, pregnant pussy was wetter — all of his older peers had joked about it in the locker room at his training days, which he stayed out of — too irritated by their obnoxiousness to partake. “keep that shit so fuckin’ wet for me, don’t you baby?” he praises and you whine, nodding.

“jus’ need you, needed you to fill me up all day.” you cry and he rubs at the back of your head, pulling you back into the crook of your neck.

“well you got me now, pretty girl. keep riding that, yeah. let’s give you what you want.”

╰────── · · ♛ · · ──────╯

[kkoct-ik]

anon request from the other day for the :)

[anghraine]

Is there a good post outlining all the evidence against Gaiman? I know the podcast has it and that's what people pointed to me, but considering it has been days I was wondering if someone had gathered it all into seperate post so one does not have to listen to someone advertising their work every few minutes in order to listen to the important parts.

Belatedly (given that at least three other women have accused him since my post), there are some. The best of the original ones is probably "Manufacturing Consent" by Annabel Ross, but there are also transcriptions of the original accusations that, iirc, weed out some of the editorializing and focus on the raw material (which is, just be warned, very raw).

This (long) thread provides the important links in terms of the accusations conveyed by Tortoise, I think (a more to-the-point list is here at muccamukk's Dreamwidth account). I included the long thread because I'm in strong agreement with the final person in the chain that, Tortoise's many failings notwithstanding, they provided enough evidence for the SF/F community to judge and respond more appropriately than with a collective blanket of silence punctuated by occasional cavalier or desperate dismissals of the accusers, before the other accusations broke.

In all honesty, I'm pretty appalled by the idea that, well, now there's enough to start talking about it with a modicum of decency and respect but wasn't before, because apparently it was okay to use trans people (who had nothing to do with any of this) to justify defending a cis guy beloved of fandom from very thorough rape accusations.

I particularly feel this way about the parts of the community dedicated to publicizing news and major ongoing discussions that simply said and did nothing. Scalzi's "I'm horrified, might take awhile to process, here's a link to RAINN" personal statement was fine (Vernon's wasn't), and I don't think every random author was obligated to make their own statement as such. But spaces that exist specifically for covering ongoing discussions and news in the SF/F community not saying anything at all—even that the allegations existed—was far worse and really disheartening. So I wanted to link to a discussion that acknowledges how very few people lived up to their stated principles when there was solid evidence against an influential, popular man in their own circles who knows the right catchphrases and terminology.

I was particularly unimpressed with Mike Glyer's handling of discussion at File 770 and, as far as I could tell, Tor only acknowledging the whole thing on their German-language site. The German article seems to be very good, but ... they're based in NYC and Gaiman is an English-language writer, why was their only commentary for weeks shunted away from the English site? US law should absolutely cover acknowledging the existence of the accusations.

There was, let's say, a lot of disappointment to go around, so I'm also grateful for the other women who kept the ball rolling, awful as it is that they a) had similar experiences and b) had to reveal those to get the whole thing taken seriously.

[shapelytimber]

anakin is not a faggot... george lucas said he fucks his wife with his dick regularly I know mentally ill people on this website live in delusion but fucking die mad about it

You're right anon oh I am soooo mad rn, so mad that hetorooo Anakin gets pegged on the reg by his beautiful wife Padme Amidala- How will I ever recover from this ? I am *shattered*, never to be complete again now that George's simp forbade me from being a pédale on tumblr dot com

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

wanda reminds me of a small angry Chihuahua

REAL this is her in angry small dog mode

[dollykiller]

[whattraintracks]

I kinda feel we didn’t much of raph and splinter’s relationship in 03 thoughts?

Hmm, I suppose that's fair. I've heard it said that 03 isn't a very character-driven story, and I agree we don't see as many character dynamics or arcs explored as we could have.

Below the cut are the pieces of Raph and Splinter's relationship I've pieced together for myself.

Splinter's bio on Raph in Tales from the Sewer presents this interesting duality in Splinter's perception of him. He's a difficult child but just a kid. He trains the most but he's a difficult student. He makes poor decisions but Splinter has the utmost faith in his abilities. As both father and teacher, Splinter sometimes struggles to approach his sons and their needs in the appropriate role, especially when it comes to Raph.

For example, his hands-off approach to Raph's rage, or what I usually think of as emotional dysregulation (either as a product of neurodivergence or his young age). When Raph nearly maims Mikey during a rage attack/dissociative episode (see S1E4 "Meet Casey Jones") Splinter doesn't try to stop Raph or separate him and Mikey, although he very well could have. He doesn't step in until after Leo and Donny have broken up the fight. Despite addressing Raph parentally, he comes at the issue like a teacher offering those ninja master-esque nuggets of wisdom about rage being a monster and a true warrior is balanced in all things. I think he wants to come across sympathetically (gentle voice, physical contact, calling Raph "my son") but there is a sense of disappointment and unmet expectations in what he says.

In the aforementioned bio, Splinter notes that of all the turtles, Raph trains the longest and hardest. He likely equates length of training with dedication to ninjutsu and assumes that because Raph exhibits these things he should be something he isn't: more disciplined less angry. Perhaps he compares Raph to Leo who apparently trains less but fits Splinter's prototype of a good ninja. Speaking of Leo, later in the same episode we see Splinter chastise Mikey and Donny for interrupting Leo's practice and tell Leo to keep practicing his split kick without offering any advice on how to get it right.

We see this idea directed to Raph in Splinter's comment about a true warrior finding balance in all things. It's not particularly informative. This is his version of telling Raph to keep practicing but it's not what Raph needs at this moment, hot off such an overwhelming experience. So instead of reading this as the patient, parental advice I think Splinter intends it to be, Raph's body language screams chastised. He doesn't meet Splinter's eyes and he runs away. Raph (like all of the brothers) wants Splinter's approval and he's devastated to have fallen short in this instance. Then Splinter doesn't let Mikey follow after Raph. And yeah, Raph likely needed that space but it's this hands-off approach, again. Another example comes from the one of Raph's diary entries in the Raphael: Collector Book. He talks about Splinter assigning him more meditation exercises to help him control his emotions and temper. Perhaps training, space, meditation, and nuggets of wisdom are effective tools for Splinter to self-regulate his emotions, but Splinter is also an adult. Raph needs more guidance and practical advice at this point in his life that Splinter isn't providing. The tools aren't enough, he needs to be taught how to use them.

So. Raph responds in a couple ways to Splinter's hands-off, more-teacher-than-father approach. The first is to train harder, and longer, and learn everything he can about ninjutsu. If Master Splinter says becoming a true warrior will help him find emotional balance then he's going to try his hardest to become one. When he meets Casey, he shares with him verbatim the true warrior line but confesses to Casey he's not sure how hot-heads like them are supposed to do that. He still takes the advice to heart even if it's not helpful or he doesn't understand it because he wants to please and obey his father. The collector's book shows us that Raph has taken the time to learn aspects of ninjutsu that are confusing, uninteresting, and even inaccessible to him. This book contains a lot of technical information about ninjutsu techniques and teachings. It presents Raph as even more of ninja nerd than Leo! Some of this stuff appeals to his interests, for sure; the different punching techniques for instance. Some of it, he seems to have only learned to gain Splinter's approval. He has a detailed spread on hand signs that he explicitly finds too mystical and confusing, claims it took forever to learn, and he can't even use it as a three-fingered being, but he hopes Splinter will be impressed with him.

Second, he goes behind Splinter's back. If there's something he wants or needs and he thinks Splinter won't approve of it, he'll take it for himself. Such as going to the surface when he needs space or bringing his brothers to the surface when he thinks there's something important they need to do. This feels, to me, like access thievery, which is the concept (typically applied to disabled/neurodivergent folks) of taking what one needs (time, space, resources) without asking for permission or waiting to be offered it (because you likely won't be). Again in the collector's book, Raph exhibits an awareness of his faults and a self-compassionate recognition that he's just a teen. Splinter know this too but has shown that he can't always offer what Raph needs or won't give him it in some cases (forbids them from going to the surface). So Raph has developed a willingness to take what he needs for himself and sneak around Splinter to avoid the disapproval he fears.

All that aside, I think they're very similar in their fierce love and devotion to family and the ways it can drive them to anger, fear, hatred, and vengeance. There are traits Raph inherited from Splinter they bond over, too. They're both competitive. The Battle Nexus Tournament isn't their thing but we see them playing pokey in "Dragons Rising." I love the idea that they play a lot of games together! They have a similar sense of humility. They know they're skilled but they're more likely hang back and play support while their other family members take the spotlight than boast. Unless it's really personal, then they'll take over, like how Splinter's quest for vengeance guides them in Exodus and Raph's desire to help Casey leads the brothers to sneak out with him in "Meet Casey Jones." I think, they have a similar sense of humor, too. Raph has this silly line in the collector's book about Splinter being proud he used his head, that is, like a battering ram, and you cannot tell me Splinter wouldn't chuckle at that.

[ky-landfill]

Absolutely love your art!! if you’re feeling it, could we get some Jason & Bruce reconciliation please?

[allastoredeer]

Beauty and The Beast radioapple au where The Beast is literally The Devil and Belle is... also the beast in his own way 😁

Radioapple Beauty and the Beast AU where, instead of Alastor going "I can fix him," he goes, "I can make him worse."