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skyeet-the-writer · 4 years

Note

okay i’m not sure if you are taking like open requests but corpse and reader are dating and nobody really knows but like the fans ship it and stuff, and they are playing among us with jack, felix, rae ect,, and someone invites somebody and it’s reader ex boyfriend and corpse notices that she’s acting really quiet and he texts her like “baby are you okay??” and she tells him that’s her toxic ex and during an emergency meeting, her ex suspects her and when she defends herself he says something along the lines of “don’t believe her she’s a fucking liar, she’s been one since the day i first met her” and everyone is like ??? but corpse flips out on him and just snaps telling him to leave his girlfriend alone which breaks his cover so everyone knows about you guys and just like really mad corpse and having to help him calm down and you get up from your seat to see him in his streaming room and just sit on his lap and he’s like “fuck that guy it’s okay baby we can just play minecraft or something” lmaooo 🥺🥺🥺 sorry i know that was so specific but the thought makes me so soft i would actually cry if you wrote this

This Is A Shout Out To My Ex

here’s my first request guys! so sorry they’re taking so long. i’m trying to get these done before i do anything else. hope you guys enjoy! x,

corpse x female!reader

summary: while paying a game with her friends, y/n’s toxic ex joins the game. when he calls her a liar, corpse snaps and defends his girlfriend

word count: ~4.4k

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, gaslighting, near-death experiences, swearing, some angst but it has a super fluffy end!

Living with your boyfriend is, obviously, amazing in every way. You see each other all the time, you get to cuddle almost all the time, and you get to see his handsome face every morning.

Probably, the only downside is the fact that living together makes it nearly impossible to hide the fact that you’re dating.

But, somehow, you’ve managed to keep it a secret from you rabid fans for the past four months. You literally have no idea how because you’re pretty sure you accidentally got a glimpse of Corpse walking by while you were doing a vlog.

Miraculously, no one noticed it. Then again, none of your fans knew what he looked like, so there’s a plus. There were one or two comments asking who the person in the back was, but you lied and said it was a friend. Technically, you weren’t wrong.

And so you’ve been trying to keep your relationship with Corpse on the DL to avoid any stress or anxiety his way. You could deal with it, you’ve been doing Youtube for years and could handle almost anything. Corpse, bless his heart, might not be able to.

One morning, you’re awoken by some slight tugging on your hair. You crack your eyes open but the bright light makes you whine and close them again. There’s a soft laugh behind you and you roll over onto your back, scooting over closer to him. You stretch your legs and grin, still keeping your eyes closed.

“Did you sleep at all?” you ask in a quiet voice, your head resting on your lover’s chest.

“No,” he answers in his deep voice and you feel him play with your hair. “Anxiety, insomnia, the usual shit.”

You hum and open your eyes slowly, deciding to brave the light. You blink up at Corpse who is staring at the ceiling. “What were you thinking about?” Your own voice is a bit scratchy and rough.

He looks down at you and you take notice of how bloodshot his eyes are and the bags under his eyes. “How pretty you are when you sleep.” He grins.

“You watched me when I slept?” you ask and playfully narrow your eyes at him. “You creep.”

He laughs and you turn around onto your side, your back facing him. “Baby, no, I didn’t mean it that way.”

You smile. “You’re so creepy, Corpse.”

He doesn’t say anything but you hear him sit up in bed. You begin to ask what he’s doing but then he lifts up the back of your shirt to press a few kisses to your back. “You’re still here, though. With me.”

“Hm. Yeah.” You turn around and he gazes at you. “Because I love you.”

His eyes light up in the way that they always do when you tell him those three, simple words. You love seeing them light up that way and you grin. “I love you, too.” He leans in for a quick kiss.

“What time is it?” you ask when you pull away.

Corpse reaches over to his side of the bed and turns his phone on. “Noon.”

“Noon?” you shout and sit up so quickly you get a head rush. “We were supposed to be playing Among Us with Sean, Pewds, Toast, Rae, and them.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You turn and see him with his hands covering his face.

You walk over to him and kneel next to him. “Babe? What’s up?”

He just groans and you frown. He doesn’t feel good.

You push his hair from his forehead. “I can tell them that you’re not feeling up for it. They all know you, they’d understand.”

He shakes his head and runs his hands down his face before they rest on his chest. “No. No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” He gives you a smile.

You kiss his cheek. “Okay, then, babe. C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” You grab his hands and tug him up until he’s in a sitting position. He pulls you in for another kiss but you lean away.

“You have morning breath,” you tell him when he gives you his sad eyes. “Brush your teeth and then I’ll kiss you.”

That seems to get him out of bed and into the bathroom while you change clothes. You change out of your sweatpants and t-shirt and into jeans and a shirt. He walks out of the bathroom yawning and you walk past him to go to the bathroom.

I wish he’d sleep, you think to yourself while brushing your teeth. After brushing your teeth, you wash your face and do a little bit of makeup so you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed even though you did.

Corpse walks into the bathroom as you’re finishing your makeup and has a mug of coffee for you. You’re the only one in the house who drinks coffee since he can’t, so you always find it so sweet that he makes it for you.

“You made me coffee?” you ask and he nods. You take it from him and give him a peck. “Thank you, love.”

You take a sip and grab your phone from your nightstand and shove it into your pocket. You walk out of the bedroom the two of you share and into the kitchen to check on your cat.

Before you met him, Corpse had never really wanted a pet. He said that they die and he doesn’t want to deal with that, which you understand. But after the two of you had been dating for three months and you had been living with him for a month and a half, you begged him to let you get a cat. You knew he couldn’t say no to you.

“Where’s Inky?” you call out to your boyfriend after not finding your cat in the living room or the kitchen.

“In here,” he calls back and you follow his voice. Corpse is sitting in his chair getting ready to stream. You spot a black cat sitting on his table, licking at his hand. Corpse laughs and pets the animal on the head. “Stop licking me, girl. Your tongue feels weird.”

You smile and walk over to him, picking the cat up. “Come on, Inky, let’s leave dad to do his job, yeah?”

The young cat meows up at you and stares into your soul with her green eyes. You lock her gaze and have a staring contest. You lose, however, and blink away.

“Why is your cat so weird?” you ask, placing the cat back down and watch her run away.

“Probably gets it from her mom,” Corpse mumbles and you hear a smile.

You scoff and smack his hand away gently when he reaches out to you. “Fine, you don’t get a kiss before the stream.”

“No, wait!” he shouts and grabs your hand, pulling you towards him. “I was kidding, baby.”

You smile at him and cup his cheek. “I know.” You lean down and give him a long, deep kiss. You feel him smile against your lips and you pull away. He gives you a smile.

“I love you,” he mutters, brushing some hair away from your face.

“I love you more.” You grab his hand and press a kiss against his knuckles. You take a step back. “I’ll see you in the Discord chat, babe.”

“Okay. Also, don’t close the door all the way!” he calls to you and you look back at him, your hand on the doorknob.

“Why?” you ask, leaning on the doorframe.

He takes a second to respond. “Because I want Inky to come in here later.”

You laugh but smile. “Okay, fine.” You walk away from the door and across the hall into your own recording room.

Your room is a lot different than your boyfriend’s. His room is dark and doesn’t have a lot in it. Yours, on the other hand, probably has too much stuff. Most of it is gifts from fans like stuffed animals and other knickknacks. Your desk, monitors, and lights take up a lot of the already limited space. You turn both your ring lights on after closing the door and turn on the LED lights you have attached to the ceiling. You switch them to the f/c setting and put the remote next to your coffee mug. You sit down in your black and white gaming chair and set everything up after putting on your headset.

You join the Among Us game after beginning your stream and then the Discord call. You seem to join before Corpse because you can’t see him in the call.

“You’ve finally decided to join us, y/n!” Felix exclaims and you smile.

“Am I late?” you ask, taking another drink of your coffee.

“No,” Sean replies. “I mean, we played a couple of rounds to pass the time, but nothing interesting happened.”

You nod and glance at who all is in the chat. It seems to be you, Felix, Toast, Charlie, Rae, Sean, later Corpse, and someone else who’s tag sounds familiar.

“Oh! I invited someone new!” says Rae. “He’s a friend from college. y/n, this is Dallas.”

“Hey, y/n.”

Your eyes widen and your blood goes cold at the sound of his voice. You know him. You used to date him. In highschool before you moved away. You remember how toxic he was. He would always blow you off when you wanted to hang out and when you did hang out, he always played video games and never talked to you.

“Hi, Dallas,” you stutter out. “Uh, hey, didn’t you and I go to highschool together?”

You can practically hear his smirk. “Yeah. We did.”

“I didn’t know you two went to school together,” Rae says happily.

“Yep,” Dallas says. “We were friends, too.”

You want to throw up.

Suddenly, your loving and not toxic boyfriend joins the call and your spirits lift.

“Corpse!” you exclaim, almost letting another word slip out.

“You’re here,” says Rae. “Good noon!”

“Yeah, I’m not a morning person,” he says and you just now notice how deep his voice is. “I just woke up.”

“Oh my god,” Felix says.

“Jesus,” says Charlie, dragging out the ‘u’.

“You just woke up?” asks Toast.

He’s a liar, he didn’t sleep at all, you think but keep your mouth shut and laugh.

“It’s like a forty-hertz voice,” Sean says.

“It sounds like short wave radio,” Charlie adds.

You laugh. “You sound like spoken brown note.”

Corpse laughs. “This is me when I wake up, that’s what...” He cuts himself off and laughs again.

“I’m scared,” says Dallas.

“I didn’t know it could get any lower!” exclaims Sean.

“I didn’t know you could hit puberty twice.” Felix laughs.

After some more laughter, Corpse is introduced to Dallas.

“Hey, man,” Corpse says. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Dallas replies.

“Can we start the game now?” Sean asks when everyone is in the waiting room. You take a sip of your coffee while Rae starts the game.

You mute yourself as your role is revealed and let out a sigh of relief. “Crewmate. Good, this makes this less stressful.” You go into the hallway, following Felix and Sean to go do wires. You clear the two of them and you three go up to admin. “Okay, so for those of you wondering about my reaction to Dallas joining the stream is that he’s my ex. Uh, we dating in highschool and broke up around the end of senior year. So this is pretty awkward for me.” You break away from Sean and Felix to go do a task in the greenhouse.

You leave out the part about Dallas where he was borderline abusive. You remember him shouting at you for asking for the littlest of things to him gaslighting you and guilt-tripping you into going skinny dipping with him.

Maybe that’s why you love Corpse so much. He’s the opposite of Dallas. He’s sweet and he’s caring. He’s never once raised his voice at you unless you were beating him in a game. Even then you both knew he wasn’t serious. And he had never once pressured you to do something you didn’t want to do.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when someone reports Rae’s dead body. You unmute yourself and take another drink of your coffee.

“I found her in decontamination,” Dallas says. “I opened the door and she was right there.”

“I was down by storage doing wires,” you tell them, putting your mug down. “And I was with Felix and Jack for the beginning and I’m pretty sure they’re cleared. So it has to be either you, Toast, or Corpse. Or Charlie.”

“You almost forgot about me,” he says and you laugh.

“We never vote on seven, right?” Toast says.

“Not if no one is sus, no,” Corpse answers.

“I’m skipping,” says Sean.

You nod and skip voting. “Same here.”

Everyone skips voting and you continue on. You do the rest of your wiring tasks and go out to the balcony where you notice Corpse standing out there. You smile and walk up to him and make your characters’ “eye” parts touch. “Look, Corpse. We’re touching eyeballs.”

You can just barely make out his laugh from the room across from yours and you grin before doing to do your task. You glance at your chat while you run to the reactor with Corpse. “How have you guys been doing? Hope you’re having a good day. Don’t forget to drink some water and eat something.” You smile at the camera and enter decontamination with Corpse and Toast.

When you enter reactor, Corpse and Toast each go to do it and you head to the sorting in the lab when suddenly a body is reported.

You decide to be quiet and drink from your coffee while everyone else discusses what happened. You zone out a little when Dallas talks and your mind flashes back to memories you’ve been trying to forget.

“Wait, who are we voting?” you ask when you suddenly snap back to reality.

“Felix,” Sean answers. “He vented right in front of me.”

You nod and vote for Felix and he gets ejected.

pEWds was ejected

1 imposter remains

You mute yourself once more and continue to do your tasks and stick with Corpse as much as you can. Your chat notices this and begins to blow up with the ship name they have for the two of you. You laugh at the chat as you scan yourself. “Why are you guys freaking out about Corpse and me? We’re literally just walking.”

Another body is reported and this time it’s Toast’s. You know who the imposter is. You unmute yourself and quickly say, “It’s fucking Dallas, it’s a self-report.”

“What?” Dallas exclaims and you immediately sense the hint of anger in his tone. He used to get so mad during video games and it seems like nothing has changed in the past few years. “How’s it me? It could be Charlie.”

“Charlie is dead, too,” Sean says.

“Yep. And I know both Corpse and Sean are cleared because I was with Sean for a long time and I just watched Corpse get scanned.”

Dallas scoffs. “Well, shit, you got me there.”

After Dallas is ejected, the crewmates win and you all start another round. You suddenly don’t feel like talking too much anymore and do your stream in mostly silence. Just Dallas being there and in the same call as you is making you anxious and bringing up memories you don’t want to remember.

Your chat asks you about this and you ignore it as you continue to do your tasks as a crewmate. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out, looking at who it is.

corpse 🖤

are you okay? you’re being really quiet

y/n

yeah, ig. just that dallas is my ex. toxic ex too

corpse 🖤

want me to kill him for you? im imposter

You smile and shake your head. “Oh, Corpse,” you whisper to yourself.

y/n

no dont kill him lol

You put your phone back down on the table and look back at the game.

You don’t pay too much attention to the game until the fourth round after you and Rae lost as the imposters. You’re a crewmate once again and you’re peacefully doing your tasks when suddenly something lays on your bare feet.

“What the?” You look down at your feet and see a little dark fuzzball on your feet. “Inky, get off my feet, baby.” You move your feet and pick her up. You hold her in your arms like a baby the way she likes and rub her belly. “Okay, go see your dad.” Inky jumps out of your arms and you watch her leave your recording room.

You turn back to your task and continue to do them without any interruptions. You notice, however, that Dallas has been following you for most of the round. You’re starting to get a little nervous and you run into the cafeteria to get away from him when he calls an emergency meeting.

You unmute yourself and Dallas says, “I think it’s y/n. I’m pretty sure she’s faking tasks.”

“Except I’m not,” you tell him. “You’re the one following me around, too, Dallas. What’s up with that, huh?”

“I’ve been following you because you’re acting sus.”

You glare at Dallas’s character on the screen, heat rushing to your face. “I’m literally doing my tasks, I know you saw me do the card swipe--”

“Don’t listen to her,” Dallas says and he sounds far too confident. “She’s a fucking liar. She has been since the first day I met her.”

By now your face is completely red from anger and you gasp. “Excuse me?”

“What are you talking about?” Sean asks. “I’ve known y/n for a long time, she’s never told a lie so long as I’ve known her.”

“That’s because she’s too good at it,” Dallas says in a snarky tone and you’ve never wanted to punch a screen more in your life. “Her and me used to date in highschool but I broke up with her because she lied to me about everything.”

“That’s not fucking true!” you shout and you can hear blood rushing to your ears. “I was the one who broke up with you after you gaslighted me about not hanging out with you enough when in reality you were always hanging out with your stupid football friends!”

“She’s lying--”

“The fuck are you saying about my girl?” Corpse demands.

The chat goes silent for a moment. Corpse just called you his girl. You look at your live chat and it’s exploding with “i knew it”s and lots of keyboard smashing.

“Your girl?” Dallas asks after a moment.

“Yes. My girl. As in my girlfriend.” He sounds so possessive and it’s kind of hot to you. “Why are you calling her a liar?”

Dallas stumbles on his words. “B--because she is one.”

“Right. And how long have you known her?”

“I knew her in highschool--“

“Nevermind, I literally don’t care,” Corpse interrupts him. “I’ve been living with her for the past five months and she’s never lied to me about anything.”

Dallas is quiet for once. Everyone is. No one is really even breathing but your heartbeat is rattling your brain and blood is rushing through your ears.

“I don’t wanna play anymore,” you whisper. You swallow thickly and glance at your chat. Luckily, they’re all defending you and yelling at Dallas. You turn back to the screen. “Dallas, I’m not the imposter. And stop making stupid ass accusations.”

“I--“

“Kick him,” says Felix and you can tell he sounds mad.

“No wait--“ Dallas begins to say.

“No!” Rae interrupts. “I knew there was something off about you.”

“You don’t get to come in here and talk shit about our friend,” Jack says.

“I was kidding,” Dallas tries to explain.

But then something inside you snaps. You forgot how much you hate Dallas. How he always turned the blame on you when he did something wrong. How you almost lost all of your friends because he convinced them that you were a bad person.

At first, you thought he had changed. You thought that he had actually grown up. Turns out that people don’t change.

“Like you were kidding when you almost got me kicked out of the house because you made me go out with you to go drinking?” you ask. “Or how you played a stupid trick on me when I was driving us to school and I almost fucking crashed the car and nearly killed us?”

“Jesus.” You can hear him roll his eyes. “You’re still on about that? It was April Fool’s, you should have expected it—“

“I shouldn’t have expected shit!” you yell and it comes out raw. The memory flashes in your mind and you cringe. “That wasn’t funny, Dallas! You weren’t funny! I fucking hated my life in high school. I was already stressed out because I thought I wasn’t smart enough and you being my boyfriend and ignoring me and manipulating me didn’t help.

“So fuck you. Fuck you for everything you did to me when we were teenagers. Fuck you for making me think that you changed and were actually nice and then ripping that away from me. But you know what? Thanks. Thanks for being my ex because you made me what I am today and you’re the reason I moved to California and met the love of my life.”

You suck a deep breath in and wipe at the tears that had fallen. You put your hand on your camera. “Speaking of which, I need a hug from him. Bye, guys.”

You stop streaming and disconnect from everything. You turn your computer off, unplug your headset, and turn your lights off. You sit in your chair trying not to cry in the dark.

Corpse, your mind says and you open your eyes. You really want a hug. His hugs are the best. You take your headset off and walk out of your recording room. Before you walk into Corpse’s recording room, you head to the living room and grab a fluffy gray blanket and wrap it around yourself.

You don’t even bother to knock on the door and just walk in. His room is still dark and it appears like he’s angry. You can tell by the way his voice is deeper and how he looks like he’s shaking.

But when you tap on his shoulder, he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Babe.”

You sniffle and he pushes away from his desk. You shake your head and pull his arms up above his head and settle yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of him, and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Baby,” he whispers and you lean your cheek on his shoulder. “Just fuck off, Dallas.”

Your eyes squeeze shut and you shift up a little, pushing your nose into his neck. He smells nice. “Stop talking to them.”

“What?” he looks down at you and asks what you’re doing when you take his headset off. You unplug them, thereby disconnecting him from the stream. “y/n, what are you doing?”

“I want to cuddle with you,” you mutter and bury your face into his neck.

You feel him wrap his arms around your back and he pulls you up, leaning his head on your shoulder. “Okay, baby. We can cuddle.”

The two of you sit like that for what feels like a long time. You hear Corpse’s phone buzz, but the two of you ignore it. He kisses the side of your head and you smile.

You sigh deeply as he tightens his hold against you. “Fuck that guy, baby. It’s okay.” He moves his shoulder and you look up at him. “Wanna go play Minecraft?”

A grin spreads across your face and you nod. Corpse smiles back and picks you up, bridal style, blanket and all. You squeal and laugh as he carries you to the living room. “Put me down, Corpse!”

“Alright.” He drops you into the couch and turns around to turn the Xbox on.

You huff and push your hair out of your face, keeping the blanket wrapped tight around your body. “I didn’t mean literally drop me, dummy.”

He shrugs and sits next to you, handing you a controller. “Should’ve been more specific, baby.”

You scoff but can’t hide the small smile creeping onto your lips. “Jerk.” You put the controller next to you on the couch and move the blanket so it’s over both of your laps and you lean into his side.

After playing Minecraft for the majority of the afternoon and evening, you finally drag Corpse to bed with you after ordering pizza for dinner.

His arms are wrapped tight around your waist as your back is pressed against his chest. Inky hops up onto the bed and nuzzles your hand until you begin to pet her. She lays down on her belly and you gently pat her.

“Am I really the love of your life?” Corpse asks after a long time of sitting in the quiet darkness

You nod against the pillow. “Yeah. You are.”

You can’t see him, but you know he’s smiling when he kisses the back of your neck.

Your phone on your nightstand lights up and you head Corpse’s phone buzz again as well. You think for just a moment about all of the texts, all of the messages, all of the DMs you’re getting about what happened. For a second, you panic. What if people don’t think that you’re worth to be dating Corpse? What if people are calling you a pussy for how you reacted to Dallas? What if everyone hates you?

But those thoughts immediately go away when Corpse mumbles something in that husky voice of his that makes the butterflies in your tummy come back. “You’re the love of my life, too.”

“Yeah?” you hum, your eyes slipping shut.

“Yeah,” he says and you can tell that he’s getting tired as well. “And I’m gonna marry you someday.”

An involuntary smile spreads across your face and your entire body overheats. You bite your lip in the darkness and whisper,

“And I’m gonna say yes.”

But he’s asleep. His breathing has evened out. He shouldn’t have heard you.

You know he heard you somehow, though, because his arms tighten around your waist. You wiggle backward so that you’re flush against his chest and his head drops down onto the top of your head.

You place your hands over his and close your eyes. Finally, he’s sleeping.

--------------------

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owaowabetch · 4 years

Text

Uh Oh (Sykkuno x F!Reader)

Oneshot (maybe part of a series??? idk we’ll see): The Prequel to “Impasta” in which reader meets the gang for the first time and experiences a betrayal. Mainly Friendship

Warning: non-beta, I wrote this in one go and full sent it.

You were a small time Twitch streamer that had recently befriend a streamer with a much larger audience, ValkyRae. You had been talking back and forth for quite some time, since Rae’s dm to you weeks ago. You were mainly an rp channel where you played games like GTA, The Sims, and Animal Crossing. Though you gained a lot of your followers from playing League, though it mostly consisted of hate-followers that would only critique your gaming, even though you were pretty good at it. But it doesn’t bother you too much *que sob*

You were streaming GTA on a RP server playing an amish girl on a Rumspringa and wreaking havoc. You and your ‘gang’ had successfully finished hitting a bank truck ,causing your character to rake in a few thousand dollars, when you got a message from Rae asking you if you had wanted to play a few rounds of the popular game among us.

“Alright guys, a friend asked if I wanted to join her lobby of among us. I know it’s different from the stuff i usually stream, but is that something you guys would be cool with?” You asked your chat and watch an influx of people messaging ‘yes’ or ‘pog’. You take a sip of your Starbucks and picked up your phone to message Rae that you’ll be joining. “Fair warning, I’ve never played among us. So we’ll see how this goes, guys”

While you waited to be invited to the discord and into the lobby, you chatted with your viewers for a bit. “I just realized that I’m really awkward around new people. Like when I’m playing on the GTA Rp Server, I’m not myself, I’m a character you know? So it’s easier to talk with other people, cause they’re also role playing. Plus I don’t think I can call anyone in the discord a musty dusty rat bitch lol or sell them drugs, it’s not that kind of game...unless?...” You laugh as you login to your discord and accept the invite to the discord “alright guys! here we go~”

You enter the discord call and hear people talking.

“Y/N!” Rae exclaims “Guys this is my new friend y/n”

“Hi” Responding to the various voices greeting you

“OK, so the code is in the chat and so are the bubbles, so your chat can see who is talking and what not” Rae explains

You input the code and saw your little character in the space ship. “Oh god guys look at us!” You ran your little character around the ship “How do we change colors? I’m not feeling this blue and I saw Rae with her lil creepy mask”

You read your chat tell you what to do so you went to the little computer to change the blue to white and clicked through all the hats til you decided on the pink flower. “How about this guys? Yellow is my favorite color but its taken”

“Alright, you ready y/n?” Rae asked

“Yup” you respond by running circles around her character

“OK i’m starting. Don’t forget to mute and close chat. You can open it back up if your imposter or dead” Rae sang “Good luck~”

“Alright chat I gotta close you til the game is done? I guess” You hum as the words ‘crewmate’ pop up. “Well at least i’m not imposter, i know the game. I mean who hasn’t at this point. I just never played it, seems to be to nerve wracking”

You open the map icon and run to where the closet yellow exclamation point was, which was admin. You make sure to note all the colors around you in there as you swipe your card “Alright, green, yellow, brown,red, and orange” You repeated the colors over and over again as you make your way into electrical when you notice something “Ok uh green is following me? I don’t know why but its freaking me out.” The lights turn off and you start freaking out “Oh god, this is where I die. Don’t I? You know what do it. Kill me! It’s probably a good idea. I’m kind of an idiot and it’ll help me figure things out on my own without the pressure” You follow the arrow pointing to a panel and you click on it “What am i supposed to do? You know green, this would be the perfect opportunity to murder me in cold blood... is this how you do it?” You flip the switches so that they are all bright green and the lights turn on “YAS BITCH, I did it”

The green character kind of just circles your body as you do tasks in electrical, you do download, wires, and power diverter. “Ok BUT WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME!!”

An orange body had been reported and that two others had died (bright green and pink) and the person who reported the body was black or as his name read ‘Abe’ “Ok, so this body was in admin on card swipe”

“Well this body couldn’t have been me or y/n” Sykkuno says “I was following her this entire time”

“Yea, I’d like to know why lol? You were kinda freaking me out dude” You laugh a bit trying to play off how nervous you were to call him out on it

“Oh No! I was protecting you” Sykkuno explains “I promise”

“Sykkuno? Are you already simping for someone?” Rae feigns exasperation

“No really guys!” He explains nervously “The new person always dies first, so I was just trying to protect her.”

You hum and smile mischievously “Unless, your just trying to gain my trust only to murder me in coldblood in front of my bestie Rae, to prove your superiority over her!?!”

Rae gasps “Really Sykkuno!?! I’m voting you just for that!”

“Wah? No wait! It’s not like that really” Sykkuno starts laughing as Rae votes “Oh God did you really vote for me?”

“Yes” Rae says and you start laughing

“So anyways, Leslie’s body is in admin?” Hafu says wanting to talk more about the body and get all the sus’s and clears

Though you gasp when you realized a few things “wait I have some info to share” teasing Sykkuno had loosened you up a bit “it was me,green,yellow,brown,red, and orange in admin. Then me and green, uh Syyykkkuunnoo? Sorry if i didn’t say your name right, left and went into electrical, then lights were called and I fixed them before finishing off my tasks in there. So the body must’ve died during lights unless she left and came back into admin after lights were fixed? which doesn’t make much sense, sooo yea” you smiled “look at me chat! being all smart and shit”

“yes” Poki agrees “I left admin also with Rae just before lights were called”

“Ok, so I know that puts sus on me, but I went straight to lights when they were called” Hafu says “Someone on the right side must’ve vented when lights were off. Like I was entering the hallway from storage with Tina when lights got fixed and we went to reactor room together. So it couldn’t have been me. Maybe Tina? I dont know which way she come from, but it was not me”

“That is true. I did meet up with Hafu at storage, but I don’t know man” Tina says “ I was doing download in comms”

“Oh god” You tell chat “I don’t know whether to believe Hafu or not. I know she is really good, along with Toast, but he hasn’t said anything”

“Well it is seven and we don’t vote on seven, so we can skip. Just putting a sus on Hafu” Rae says

“Yes please do” Hafu says as she votes to skip

“Do we know where the other bodies are?” Poki asks as the seconds start to dwindle down to zero “Also Toast? Why are you so quiet?”

“I’m trying to figure out a new strat, so don’t you worry. I’ll catch the killers” Toast starts to evil laugh and that was the end of the meeting.

“Ok we’re susing Hafu for this.Though I don’t think it’s her only cause I remember watching one of her imposter plays and it would be a too obvious kill,since so many people were there, it just doesn’t make sense, so someone venting in and killing is plausible or could be a self report? I don’t know lol It’s my first game” You run with Sykkuno and finish up your tasks together. Though lights were called when you both were at shields, you can see the vent pop open and in your little vision bubble you see a flash of red “Whelp this is where I die, I’d like to rate Sykkuno an 8 out of 10 for protecting me, but obviously I am now died” True to your word Rae killed you and you saw Sykkuno running around like a headless chicken when he reports your body

“Oh God! They got her when I was trying to protect her!” Sykkuno exclaims

“Sykkuno! You were supposed to be protecting her!?” Rae shouts “What happened? Did you kill her in cold blood? hmm?”

“smh Rae, you murdered me right in front of Sykkuno” You sigh “Well chat looks like I’m dead and we can speak now”

“No!” Sykkuno denies “I said I was going to protect her. I wouldn’t kill her after saying that”

“Well she’s dead now Sykkuno! Where’s the body?” Toast dramatically says

“It’s in shields. It happened when lights were off” Sykkyno says “I’m sorry y/n, I couldn’t protect you”

“Aw that is so cute” You pout at his apology, it wasn’t his fault. It was dark, so obviously he couldn’t see

“Well I don’t think Sykkuno did this, He said he was protecting her to everyone, so I can say that he’s crew” Hafu says “I’m at light panel, I remember seeing Poki and Tina there”

“I can confirm this” Poki says “So Toast let’s hear your big brain play. What’s your strat?”

It was silent for a minute, before Toast admits that he doesn’t have one.

“Ok so we can all agree that Toast is the imposter right?” Rae says “Vote him outta here!”

“Yep” Tina agrees hitting that vote on him and many follow suit

“Wait guys! WAIT! I do! I do have a strat” Toast screams out “Uhhh... wires! The wires guys!”

“Lol they’re gunna vote him off” You watch people voting “Rae is probably gunna win this”

“Yea, you’ve done that pay before” Poki laughs

“Don’t worry I’ll skip Toast” Sykkuno says

“Why would you skip if we’re on 6?” Rae asks “Is Toast your imposter buddy?”

“Wah? I said I was protecting y/n, why would I kill her?” Trying to make his innocence obvious

“Unless you killed her by accident or Toast did and you’re trying to protect him like the Simp you are!” Rae accuses him

Tina starts to also question Sykkuno “Wait a second, I dont think I’ve seen you do a single task this entire game! You’ve just been following y/n all around! We should vote him off next!”

“Guys, I swear it’s not me, it just doesn’t make sense” You can hear him plead “Oh no guys, how did this get twisted? It’s Rae! But how did it go to thinking Sykkuno as imposter?”

The meeting ends with Toast screaming into the abyss as he is yeeted out with Sykkuno telling him that he voted to skip.

“Ok then chat, looks like the imposters are gunna win, lets talk for a bit” You sigh and start reading the comments “ I know that I didn’t talk much with them, but I’m just awkward in general and I don’t know what to say to them. This is the first time playing with a group like this where i’m supposed to be myself and not a character.”

The words Defeat appeared on screen and there was Hafu and Rae as imposter. “I honestly didn’t think it was Hafu”

“Hafu was that you that killed Leslie in admin? I didn’t think it was “You asked when you returned to the lobby

“NO! I got framed by my own partner” Hafu explains before taking her bathroom break

“How did Rae get that kill cause I was with her?” Poki asks

“I vented from Caf back into admin when lights were off” Rae laughs “and I vented into shields and killed y/n right in front of Sykkuno!”

“Im sorry for not being able to protect you” Sykkuno runs circles around my character “Next round I’ll do better! I promise”

You laugh and start chasing after him in the ship “What if you end up as imposter?”

“Then I’ll have to look away as my imposter buddy kills you” Sykkuno laughs behind his hand and clears his throat “Im joking, Im joking, I promise”

“Wow Sykkuno” You tsk and run over to the opposite side of the room “I don’t know if I want your protection services now”

“Uh” Sykkuno splutters “I’m joking I promise! I won’t kill you as imposter”

“Wait til Corpse hears you simping over someone else” Poki says before starting the game

“Wait Hafu is still in the bathroom!” Rae exclaimed, but it was to late to stop the game from starting, so she’ll have to jump in when she comes back. Though you swear you feel your heart jump out of your chest when the words Imposter read on you screen. The 1st of the night for you and another in a row for Hafu.

“Oh God guys. Hafu is in the bathroom, but she has to carry us” You start to panic “What we do we do!?! Wait is Sykkuno seriously gunna follow us? Should we kill him or would that be to obvious?” You see the chat tell you that it would be to obvious and that it would be better to maybe frame him, but it seems to mean to you “Should we kill someone in front of him? You know to test his loyalty? It’s a terrible idea”

Though before you go on to fake tasks, you see Sykkuno standing on top of Hafu’s body, so you also go ontop of Sykkuno’s and to the outside perspective you are protecting Hafu, but really for you it’s to ensure that your imposter partner is going to be walking around and killing people,once she comes back from the bathroom. It seems that Hafu is back from the bathroom as her yellow character starts making her way away from you both. You and Sykkuno make your way to admin when lights get called and Sykkuno starts to wiggle his body around into a corner. It seems as though he wants you to stack with him in a corner, but before you do you double back when you see a body pass by and kill them, though you start to laugh when you see your character kill Rae, before ‘stumbling’ into Sykkuno’s view in the corner. You both stay there as lights turn back on and go on card swipe. You think about juking Sykkuno, but realize that it’ll look sus on you for ditching him. So you two just walk around ‘completing’ tasks as every once in a while the lights would go off and you two will stack on each other or wait for doors to open which you had been closing alot of them.

“Honestly guys I’m at a point were I just wanna murder someone in front of him” You start to evil laugh as you both stack in the corner of medbay as lights start turning on when a body got called

“It’s toast, it’s toast, it’s toast” Hafu chants as it was her who reported the body “I saw him kill Poki”

“oh she self reported” you note and click on Toast’s name but not locking in your vote just in case. You also noticed that four people had died “She killed three people!?! Wow she is beast in this game! Holy Shit guys”

“see, from my perspective it’s hafu. I didn’t see the kill, but I did see blood splatter and Hafu immediately reported the body and blamed me, so it has to be Hafu. I’m voting her” Toast explains and votes her

“no no no no no no no. I saw you kill her when lights got fixed.” Hafu describes her side and what she did in that round “ Ok guys I was afk for like the first 20 seconds and I see Sykkuno and y/n there standing on me in caf., and I’m just doing my tasks, which I finished by the way, so I’m just going back and forth going to cams and just walking around to find any dead bodies. So if you saw cams on in the last 30 or so seconds it was me. I’ve also been fixing lights too! Peter and Leslie should be able to vouch for me on that! But on this round of lights I’m making my way to go help fix them when i see blood flicker in my little bubble and as it starts to get bigger I see Toast walking away from it. Its Toast. It is 100% Toast.” She locks her vote on him “Vote him please. If you don’t vote then you’re either imposter or just throwing”

“I don’t know guys” You start and hover your mouse over the green checkmark next to Toast’s name “I’ve been with Sykkuno the entire round and we did guard Hafu’s body. For Hafu to say that she saw Toast kill, but toast didn’t see Hafu kill? It just doesnt make sense so I’m voting Toast” You lock your vote in when Hafu reminds everyone that crew has to vote together since it is on six. Reminding Peter and Leslie that Hafu has been fixing lights got their votes, but Sykkuno was hesitant “You know I can never vote Toast guys, but I have been with y/n this entire time and I know it’s not her. So, I’m sorry Toast but uh” He locks his vote in for either Hafu or Toast? Who knows if he’s simping over Toast hard.

“Sykkuno?” You can hear Toast tremble his voice “Sy-sykkuno? Who did you vote for? Sykkuno!?!?! Do- Don’t tell me...did you really vote me?”

“I uh “ He clears his throat as the votes get out and all of us had voted Toast

Toast gasps “Sykkuno!?! How could you!?!?!”

“I’m sorry! I just trust y/n!” Sykkuno explains as Toast’s body once again gets yeeted out into space.

“Wow guys, looks like we’re gunna win our first imposter game!” You wiggle around happily “and we literally did nothing...wait we killed Rae! We got our revenge from the last round mwua hahahahaha”

Sykkuno and I run circles around each other before walking back into medbay. You can see Hafu kind of trailing behind and the doors get locked with us three in it, but Hafu is just standing there. “Chat what is Hafu doing? Why is she just standing there” You can see Sykkuno step on the med scan “Wait she wants ME to kill SYKKUNO! Oh god that is so evil lol but i’m so useless as imposter, so I might as well get in at least 25% of the kills”

Once Sykkuno steps off you just murder him and you see that you had won.

“I- I can’t believe you just killed me!?! I trusted you y/n” Sykkuno exclaims

“Sykkuno” Rae sighs “she KILLED ME in caf! Why did no one NOT SEE MY CHOPPED BODY IN CAF!”

You just laugh “I’m sorry Sykkuno, but my chat was telling me that Hafu wanted me to kill you”

“Yea, cause I did like all of the kills and sabotages” Hafu recounts who and how she killed

“Sykkuno, you giant simp. I can’t believe you vote me” Toast tsk’ed

“I can’t believe y/n was the imposter! and she killed me!” Sykkuno shakes his head “you know what i’m no longer protecting you anymore”

“Wait Sykkuno I’m sorry. Really” You giggle

“No no no it’s ok, it’s all part of the game” Sykkuno reassure you that he is not actually mad and that he hoped you had fun “But i wont be protecting you from now on, I have scars now”

So, you play a few more games before calling it quits and end your stream. Later on, you find that Sykkuno started following you on Twitter and Instagram, You totally did not stalk both of his pages and you totally don’t think that he’s cute.....

SideNote: You totally murdered someone in front of Sykkuno and he totally didn’t snitch on you. Instead he protected you as you ran around killing more people in front of him and like the giant Simp he is he totally went ‘I neva snitch on you Daddy, I hold a brick for you Daddy’.

#sykkuno x reader #sykkuno x y/n #sykkuno imagines #sykkuno fanfic #youtubers x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse imagines

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themoonlitsojourner · 3 years

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Chapter 3: Come back home

Gar thought Raven didn't care. And he couldn't fault her for it after what happened when HE wore his heart on his sleeve. But now she's here with him. And he can't believe just how wrong he was.

In the dark room, lit only by fairy lights and the stars on the ceiling, Tara and Gar danced. They swayed back and forth, shuffling their feet in a pattern neither of them quite knew. The way they were dancing wasn’t important, after all. They were content just to be together, no matter what they were doing.

“How’s this for a dance?” Gar grinned. “It’s not exactly prom, but-”

“It’s perfect,” Tara reassured him. With a sigh, she leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” He smiled down at her, running his hand lightly through her silky blond hair. “It’s no big deal, really. I’d do a lot more for you.”

When Tara looked up at him, tears shone in her ocean blue eyes. Tears he hadn’t understood at the time, mistaking them for happiness instead of sorrow. For affection instead of the dread of what was to come.

Leaning forward, she kissed him, so softly and sweetly he knew he’d remember that night forever. But like all the others they shared, it wasn’t long before the memory turned bittersweet.

~~~

Gar wakes up slowly. Why rush to return to his empty room and the aching hole in his chest? To the endless rain pouring down both outside his window and in his head?

But this morning is different. Today he awakens to cool jeans under his cheek and a gentle hand resting on his shoulder.

Gar’s eyes flutter open. No, he’s not still dreaming. He’s definitely lying with his head in someone’s lap. And when he cranes his neck to look, he can’t quite believe his eyes.

It’s Raven, of all people, who sleeps propped against the wall, head bowed and hair falling in front of her face, her hand resting on his shoulder. Her lips part slightly as she exhales quietly.

How does she do that? How does she find peace and control, the two things that have eluded Gar all his life? Especially now, when his world has shattered on the ground. He can’t imagine what the inside of his skull must look like right now. He doesn’t need to be an empath to know he’s a mess.

And yet Raven stayed. She pulled the pain from him, despite the havok it must have caused in her mind and the crick she’s totally going to have in her neck when she wakes up. She kept her promise.

Maybe he shouldn’t be so shocked. Maybe he should have a little more faith in his teammate. But honestly… Gar’d always thought Raven didn’t like him. That she only tolerated his presence. It’s why he can’t quite wrap his mind around it now that her actions say differently.

She could have decided to wait out the storm, could have let him push her away like the rest of the Titans. But instead she went miles out of her way to meet him in the dark hole he dug for himself.

When Gar closes his eyes, he can picture how she pulled his grief into herself, face creased in concentration. He can picture the single tear that rolled down her cheek, the first time he’s ever seen her cry. She hurt herself to help him. Why, he has no clue. It’s crazy. He’s lying with his head in her lap, for goodness sake!

I’ve gotta be a real mess if she’s letting me get this close. It’s all he can think of, that he looks so torn apart that she’s taking pity on him. Whatever the reason, he’s grateful.

“Rae.” She doesn’t stir. “It’s morning, sleepy-head.” Gar can’t help smirking. “And I think this is the first time I’ve ever been awake before you.”

“It’ll probably be the last,” Raven mumbles, still half asleep but falling easily into the familiar pattern of their banter. She pulls away from the wall, straightens, and immediately winces. Yup. Crick in the neck. Blinking against the light from the window, her careful gaze scans Gar’s face. Searching for the cracks.

“Are you okay?”

The world roars back to life around Garfield, the pictures and memories he’s desperate to forget flooding in.

“No.” He closes his eyes.

Raven lifts her hand from his shoulder. A pang shoots through Gar’s chest. Time’s up. She’s going to leave now, but he really shouldn’t be surprised. He is surprised she stayed this long though, that she answered a request he had no right to make. What was he thinking, anyway, asking the team empath to keep his chaotic mind company?

Gar’s about to sit up and let her go, and he knows she’s thinking the same thing, when he senses her hesitate. And instead of pushing his head from her lap, she pushes his hair back from his face.

As her cool fingers brush his forehead, Gar means to hold still, to listen to the part of him that’s afraid moving will make her stop. But the other side of him is so much stronger. It’s the part that needs to be reassured and held no matter who’s giving it, the part that’s been touch-starved by the hours locked alone in his room.

So Gar forgets who’s reassuring him and curls into it, seeking out more touch, more comfort. He presses his forehead into Raven’s side, letting her crisp cold wash away the muggy heat of his room.

Until he realizes what he’s doing. Never, in a million years, would Raven let him get this close. He’s totally making her uncomfortable.

You screwed up, you screwed, now she’s definitely going to leave.

But Raven doesn’t push him away. She stiffens, yeah, and she hesitates. Then she continues to stroke his hair. Her movements are awkward and unpracticed (he knows this is way outside her comfort zone), but there’s genuine care behind them. Gar tries not to purr when her fingernails scratch against his scalp in a way all the animal in him likes.

But it only takes a few seconds for reality to set in. Gar can’t ignore it any longer. Raven might be willing to stay and keep him company, but she can’t.

She has to go meditate so she can recharge. She’s told the team over and over that it’s not optional, and despite her incredible mental strength, Gar can feel the strain seeping in. The struggle to keep her mind level and calm after last night’s onslaught of emotions reflects in the tight control of her movements. She has to leave, and he can’t ask her to come back. Not after how much she’s given of herself just to be here.

Not when he isn’t sure if he’s even worth the effort.

“You should probably go.” Gar rolls off her lap.

Raven watches him for a moment, surprise altering her neutral expression and lifting her eyebrows a fraction. Does she think he doesn’t know how much of a toll her powers take on her? Maybe not. He doesn’t exactly act like he’s paying attention most of the time.

Raven’s mask falls back into place and she nods, rising from the bed. Gar looks away as she walks toward the door, unable to watch her go but too scared to admit he doesn’t want to be alone. Too ashamed to ask her to send Vic in. He’d never look at Gar the same way after seeing him like this.

Garfield hears the door swing open, but it doesn’t shut. He glances over to see Raven standing with her hand on the doorknob and studying him. Her eyes soften when he meets them, just the smallest bit.

“You’re not alone, Gar.”

Then she’s gone.

Gar stares at the closed door. You’re not alone. Just like he told her so long ago, back when they were still kids. Before their lives got so complicated and tragic.

What did he know then?

~~~

Garfield stays in his room all day. Despite the stubborn pessimist that she is, Raven hoped he’d reach out if given a little more time and space. That he would let his friends and teammates help instead of locking them out.

Apparently, she should have stuck with pessimism.

Raven has been reading the same line over and over when Victor flops onto the other end of the couch. She doesn’t need to ask where he was.

“This won’t last forever.” She lowers her book to give Victor her best attempt at an encouraging and understanding expression. “He’ll come around.”

Vic doesn’t even look at her. The frustration in his voice isn’t quite able to mask the pain. “You sure?”

Raven doesn’t have an answer.

~~~

It’s not her place and maybe it won’t change anything, but by the time night falls she can’t stand by any longer. If he won’t come out, then she’ll come to him.

Raven steps into Garfield’s room, edging around the pile of dirty laundry. “Victor misses you.”

They all do.

He’s lying in the same position as last time, on his side with his back to the door. Watching the rain that never seems to end. “I think I’ve figured it out.”

Though he can’t see her do it, Raven lifts an eyebrow. “Figured what out?”

“Why you like to be alone. Why you like the quiet. It numbs the pain doesn’t it? Calms the storm inside.” He crosses his arms and pulls his knees to his chest. “It makes it easier not to care. It’s safer that way, isn’t it?

Raven’s skin goes cold. But this time, it’s not because of her powers. It’s fear for Garfield and the way he’s talking. “This isn’t about me. And everything you just said? That’s not you.”

Gar rolls onto his back, cloudy eyes drifting to her face. “I just wanted to say I get it now. I’m sorry I didn’t before.”

This is not a time to freeze up, or wonder why in the world Gar chose to talk to the one person in the tower who is least equipped to help him. This is not a time to wish she’d learned something other than control and magic from Azar, such as how to interact properly with others. No, this is a time for action. To do something, to say something to help her friend. And maybe it won’t help. But Victor’s words echo in her mind.

Will it hurt?

Gar blinks, jaw falling open as Raven kneels beside the bed and lays her head on her arms, tilting it sideways so that she can meet his wide green eyes from the same angle. She needs to be on his level. See things from his perspective, both literally and figuratively.

“Quiet keeps the pain from getting worse. Solitude protects others from the storm.” She shakes her head. “But neither makes it better.”

~~~

Gar has never been this close to Raven before. Even when his head was in her lap she was still “up there,” her face a good two feet away from his. There’s always been a distance between them, both physically and emotionally, one that he could never figure out how to cross.

But now they’re equal, literally seeing eye to eye. Maybe that’s why Gar finds traces of... of feeling on the face he’s always thought battled Cinderblock’s for the title of stoniest. Or maybe the traces were always there. Maybe he just didn’t understand them until now. That’s true of a lot of things, actually.

He never thought of Raven’s distance as protection, both for herself and for her friends. But betrayal and loss really change a guy’s perspective on the world. So does a walk in his teammate’s shadowy shoes and even darker mind. Not that he’d ever tell her he could feel her emotions just as well as she could his when she used her powers to lessen the pain. She’d be mortified.

“I know it’s the last thing you want right now.”

Garfield’s attention flicks back to Rae, noticing the lavender color of her eyes as she speaks.

“But come downstairs. Please.” She drops her gaze, almost… embarrassed?

“Your friends miss you. They need you.”

Need… him? Gar can’t recall anyone ever saying they needed him. During a mission, sure, “Beast Boy, we need you to turn into a dinosaur,” but that’s Beast Boy. No one has ever needed Garfield.

He lowers his ears. “You need me?”

“Yes. We’re not a team without you.”

We. She’s saying we now. And he thought she’d prefer the team without him. Guess I was wrong about a lot of things.

Raven’s voice drops, and Gar knows what she’s about to tell him is important.

“What you said before, about not caring… I’m not supposed to care. It was the one rule I made when I joined the Titans, to protect myself and the others.” She tenses her jaw. “If I didn’t care, there would be fewer emotions to keep under control. And it wouldn’t hurt when the team told me to leave after they found out what I really was.”

As if we’d ever let you leave.

“Yeah. I understand that now.” Gar swallows past the lump in his throat. “It’s pretty smart, even though we’d never do that to you.” If I hadn’t cared about Tara, then I wouldn’t be hurting like this. My heart wouldn’t be shattered on the ground.

“No.” Raven shakes her head, frustration seeping into her voice. “No, it isn’t. That’s not what I’m saying.”

Gar scrunches up his nose, baffled, and she sighs.

“I’m not explaining this right. Garfield…” Her expression softens, and the mask falls away from her face. Completely and entirely. And for the first time, Garfield sees Raven, really sees her. No walls. No sarcasm or deflection. Just Raven, real and complete.

“I do care,” she confesses. “About you, Koriand’r, Victor, and Richard.” She looks away. “I care a lot. When it comes to the team, I’ve found it’s impossible not to.” Her brow furrows. “That means I’m going to get hurt someday, one way or the other. Something terrible will happen, or someone will walk away from the team, and I’ll feel like the world is ending.”

Just like I do right now.

“But it’s a price I’m willing to pay for my friendships.”

Raven pauses. Then she speaks slowly, as if realizing how she truly feels for the first time. “They’re worth it.”

Garfield’s mind whirls, set afloat in a strange new dimension where Raven makes eloquent speeches and shares heartfelt secrets. Where she cares about even him.

“You don’t hate me.” To Gar’s complete embarrassment, his voice cracks and the waterworks start. “I-I really thought-”

Raven’s eyes widen in complete horror. “Hate you? No! You… actually thought that?”

“You told…” Gar can’t say her name, images of blood soaked bandages flashing before his eyes. His hands tremble as he clears his throat and forces himself to continue. “Y-you said you used to.”

Raven falls silent. He can almost see her working through her thoughts. He had no idea how much went on behind her blank expression.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sometimes I’ve been annoyed or irritated by you, especially during the first year. But I’ve never hated you.” She blinks and glances away. “It’s, um… kind of impossible, actually.”

For a moment, Gar forgets that Raven is Queen of No-Hugs and throws his arms around her neck. But this alternate dimension just gets stranger when she awkwardly pats him on the back in return.

Outside, the skies open up with a loud crash as the storm that the constant rain’s been threatening to bring all week finally breaks. Raindrops pound against the window in a steady rhythm while low thunder rumbles in the background. It sounds good. It feels like a release.

“I’m not going to lie.”

Gar lets go and pulls back, watching Raven’s face as she exhales.

“It will be hard at first. You’ll feel like you’re faking it every time you do something that makes you happy. But the joy will come back.”

“How do you know?” I want to hope, Rae. I want to so badly.

“Because you’re Gar.” She says it with finality, like that’s her whole answer. No hard logic or practical attempts to convince him. Just faith that he’ll come out alright because of who he is. Faith in him. “You’re stronger than you know.”

“Okay.” Garfield watches relief flood her eyes. She… she really was worried about him. “I’ll try.”

Five minutes later, Gar slips into the living room behind Raven, feeling oddly shy and self-conscious in his own home. But that only lasts the few seconds it takes for Kori to spot him.

“Garfield!” She flies straight at him like a rocket, stopping only inches short of running into him. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and she stretches out her arms. “May I give you a hug, please?”

“Why not?” Gar shrugs, blinking to hide his own tears. For once, he doesn’t mind how bone-crushing all Starfire’s hugs are. It’s never felt so good to have someone so happy to see him again. He’s never missed his friends this much.

The sound of Kori’s excitement brings Victor rushing in, Dick close at his heels.

A relieved grin splits the cyborg’s face. “BB,” he says quietly, holding out his fist. His soft brown eyes search Garfield’s face, still lined with concern.

With a start, Gar realizes how much he scared him.

“Cy.” He taps Vic’s fist with his own. “I’m… I’m sorry, dude.”

Stepping forward, Vic wraps him in a bear hug. “Man, don’t you dare apologize.” Is that… a sniffle Gar hears? “I’ve missed you, buddy.”

“Yeah,” Gar whispers into his best friend’s sweatshirt. “Me too, bro.”

After Vic releases Gar, Dick steps forward and wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a brief but sincere hug. “Good to have you back, Gar. Whatever you need, just ask. We’re behind you no matter what.”

Gar’s heart still throbs. The pain is still there. He has a feeling it will be for a long time. But as his gaze drifts from friend to friend, from teammate to teammate, he knows he’ll be okay.

His eyes land on Raven. The slightest corner of her mouth turns up and she nods, reminding him that he’s not alone. He never has been.

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2)

(Previous fic in series: Slow dancing in the Darkness)

(Next fic in series: The Sound of the Sword)

#just use the link to read the first chapter and the previous fic in the series #bbrae #beast boy #raven #garfield logan #teen titans #teen titans animated #teen titans animated series #mine #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #writing #hurt/comfort

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eak8753 · 4 years

Text

The Fifth Titan; Queen of Hell

Prologue ~ The Betrayal

It was an odd feeling, she knew emotionally she should have been angry. She knew that she should have felt a hundred different emotions; confusion, anger, sadness, jealousy. To be honest though, she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything. Every emotion she ever had just seemed to disappear, leaving a hole in its wake. She briefly wondered if this is what heartbreak felt like. Now that would be one for the books; Raven, the “Ice Queen” of the Titans, being heartbroken by her two best friends. She of course, wasn’t. At least not at that moment, she had always been emotionally slow, so she wouldn’t be surprised if she felt the ache in a couple of hours. At the moment she didn’t feel anything except for a hole where her heart was supposed to be and stared wide-eyed at the scene in front of her.

It had all started a few hours ago. Well actually 3 months ago, when Robin and her had confessed their feelings to one another. They weren’t in a relationship, but they were past friendship. They hadn’t gone past the innocent kisses and occasional hand holding, but she knew he wanted more and he knew that she knew. Now, most people assumed that Raven was a prude, Speedy had asked her if she was asexual once. She wasn’t, nor did she think of sex as a big thing, she was a demon after all. No, she was actually okay with taking the next step, the problem was she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. The main contributor for wanting her to submit to Dick was her demon. She knew that if she and him went all the way it would end in disaster; she would most likely consume a part of his soul, and she didn’t want that. So she put it off, and eventually he stopped asking.

These last couple of weeks though, she had been meditating. Negotiating with her emotions on how to keep her demon from coming out. Weeks later they had come up with a plan. Normally it wouldn’t have taken this long, but avarice - her yellow emoticlone; the one who gave her a thirst for knowledge - was firmly against this and refused to help. Her meditation session hadn’t taken as much time as usually so she rushed down stairs to tell Dick. His energy source was in Starfire’s room, and he was...aroused? That was a little concerning, but just because he liked her didn’t mean he wouldn’t be attracted to another person. Especially if he had been with that person before, even if it had been years prior. She knew Star wasn’t completely over him, but she had assured her that she just wanted them to be happy. With those thoughts in mind she opened the door, in retrospect she probably should have knocked.

Now, she was here, standing in a door frame and watching as her two best friends fucked each other senseless. She knew she should be mad, should have screamed and yelled. Walked into the room and showed them what exactly happened when you lied to a demon; throw all logic out the window and let her emotions rampant. But she was still Raven, master of control and always logical; and she knew logically she didn’t have a right to. Robin and her weren’t together, they didn’t pledge their loyalty to each other, or promise to be faithful. So instead of doing something she couldn’t come back from, she mumbled a quick “sorry” and left for the common room.

She needed a moment to digest what happened and get Nevermore back to the sanctuary it normally was. As she walked through the door, Cyborg greeted her, seeing the blank expression on her face, he motioned for Kid Flash to help him probe her for what was wrong. She opened up more easily now, but would still need some convincing. Unusually they would leave it up to Robin but he was currently busy with…

Victor and Wally paled, knowing that their leader and alien friend had been caught. It was a dangerous game they were playing, and Victor wanted to throttle them both when he found out two weeks ago. Then he wanted to throttle Wally after he found out that he knew about them as well. If it wasn’t for the fact that Raven had been meditating he would have stormed off and told her. Dick, Kori, and Wally had calmed him down and told him that if he told her that she would probably level half the city. Victor told him he had a month to tell her or he would.

Apparently he didn’t need a month. Before Wally or him could get a word out, Dick and Kori rushed into the room.

“Raven” their oh so ‘fearless’ leader said, hesitantly. She turned to him, if she was upset her face definitely didn’t show it. He approached her as one would a rabid animal. “Look I know you’re confused and hurt, I just want you to know that I do like you, a lot and-” before he could finish she turned to Victor and Wally, understanding reflected in her eyes. “You two knew” it wasn’t a question, but a statement. Still they shook their heads. Hurriedly everyone tried to explain and defend their actions to her. She didn’t want to hear their explanations. The emotions quickest to recover was Love and Fear. Those two created a combination more deadly than Love and Courage, far worse. No, Love and Fear combined made her feel despair. She shook her head in understanding, walking towards the door, mumbling that she needed to be alone.

***

It had been a couple of days since Raven had figured Dick and Kori out. He guessed that he should have told her, but Dick was his best friend and he promised to tell her; that had been 2 months ago. So, yes, he should have told her, she had a right to know in his mind, even if she and Dick weren’t officially dating; but that was neither here nor there. What mattered now was the fact that she hadn’t exited her room since her discovery and it was concerning. Robin had instructed them all to leave her alone, even when she didn’t come out for a mission this morning. Not having Raven fight alongside them was strange, she was on almost every mission they went on - even when she was sick. Apprehending Doctor Light today had proven to be more difficult than any of them remembered.

It was with this thought that Wally decided to check up on her, just to make sure she was okay. He knew she wasn’t, not emotionally, but he needed to know if she was fine physically. The speedster assumed she had a sensory overload and was having trouble with her powers. When she had first entered the common room, her face was blank. No tell-tale signs that anything was wrong. Except, she never walked around like that anymore. When the realization of Victor and him knowing dawned on her, he saw an emotion on her face for a split-second. Fortunately for the fastest boy on earth, a split-second was an eternity. She was distressed, but more than that - empty.

He knocked on her door gently. “Rae?” he asked. Not gaining an answer or hearing any movement he knocked again, a little louder. He tried again, alternating between knocking and calling out to her. This had gone on for five minutes and he felt his patience starting to wear thin. Disregarding privacy, he phased through the door into her room. He had never been inside her room, but it was pretty much what he expected. Dark and neat, a reflection of herself. Something was off though. His eyes wandered to the bookshelves lining the walls and noticed a few empty spaces. Try as he might, he couldn’t find “The Giver” a book they had gotten her for her seventeenth birthday. Going over to her closet, he noticed it was full, except for one hanger left bare. Walking up to the bed he saw something shiny. A small, yellow compact was sitting on the centre of her bed. That was strange, none of the Titans - especially Raven - ever left the tower without their communicator. Realizing what this meant, he grabbed the yellow circle and ran towards the common room to elaborate with his teammates on what just happened. He just hoped it wasn’t too late to get her to come back.

#damirae #demon birds #damian x raven #robrae #starfire #dick grayson #wally west #cyborg #kidflash #robin #titans #fanfiction #dccomics #im sorry if you love dick and kori #they are still (semi) good people in this fic #queen of hell

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aeipcthys · 3 years

Text

╰ ❛ 💉 — › samantha logan. cis-female. she/her. ╯ have you met victoria ‘vic’ dawson yet ? this twenty six year old aries has been living in the seattle area for three years. she makes a living as media relations coordinator, which is best suited for their adventurous, independent, reckless, and resentful personality. someone to you by banners is one of their favorite songs.

trigger warnings: depression, drugs, illness, cancer, death

full character page here

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: victoria rae dawson

Nickname(s): vic

Age: 26

Date of Birth: april 1, 1994

Hometown: tacoma, washington

Current Location: seattle, washington

Ethnicity: irish, trinidadian

Nationality: american

Gender: cisgender female

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Orientation: this is me we’re talking about what do you think

Status: single, dating

Religion: used to believe in god, has since abandoned religion

Political Affiliation: liberal

Occupation: a media relations coordinator in the pr department at seattle grace mercy west

Living Arrangements: shares an apartment with rebecca goldmann and stephanie edwards

Language(s) Spoken: english, american sign language

Accent: american

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: samantha logan

Hair Color: dark brown

Eye Color: dark brown

Height: 5'7

Weight: 127 lbs

Build: fit

Tattoos: yes, idk what they are yet but they’re there

Piercings: ears/cartilage, got a nose ring in college because she thought it would be rebellious but really it was just uncomfortable

Clothing Style: either looks really put together or is wearing leggings and a large tshirt there is no in between

Usual Expression: a furrowed brow

Distinguishing Characteristics:

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: none.

Neurological Conditions: depression

Allergies: penicillin

Sleeping Habits: wacky

Eating Habits: she’s a snacker of all things, she used to really hate vegetables, still kind of does

Exercise Habits: she likes those fun workout classes, zumba or dancing or something, also rock climbing for some reason

Emotional Stability: once again, this is me we’re talking about what do you think

Sociability: a mostly friendly person

Body Temperature: i never know what to say for this she’s like average

Addictions: none.

Drug Use: yes

Alcohol Use: oh yes

PERSONALITY

Label: tbd

Positive Traits: adventurous, independent, honest, driven, confident, supportive

Negative Traits: reckless, competitive, tactless, moody, messy, resentful

Fears: being stereotypical, missing out

Hobbies: rock climbing

Habits: smoking, tbd

FAVOURITES

Weather: warmth, sun, sunshine!!! why she leaves in seattle we can’t say

Colour: shades of green

Music: anything, loves some bops

Movies: action/adventure

Sport: for watching, wrestling or hockey

Beverage: the teas - sweet tea, long island iced tea

Food: cuban

Animal: she likes raccoons, they’re really cute just misunderstood

FAMILY

Father: marcus dawson

Mother: colleen dawson

Sibling(s): abigail hayes (neé dawson), cormac hayes (brother-in-law)

Children: none.

Pet(s): none.

Family’s Financial Status: middle class

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: aries (happy aries szn)

MBTI: estj

Anything Else:

BIO

Victoria Dawson was born to Marcus and Colleen Dawson in Tacoma, Washington. She was the younger sister of Abigail Dawson (later known as Abigail Hayes). Abigail was about seven years older than Victoria, which set them up for an interesting relationship from the start.

The girls’ parents had a great experience raising Abigail. She was easy-going, self-sufficient, kind, energetic, beautiful, and intelligent. She was everything you could hope for from a first child. The Dawsons thought Abigail deserved a sibling to go through life with, so they began trying for a second child. It took a few years, but eventually, along came Victoria, and she was far from what they bargained for.

Growing up, Abigail was constantly looking over Victoria, being kinder and more accommodating than might be typical of a big sister. But Victoria needed it. From the beginning, Victoria had a clearly adventurous soul, and it made her parents and sister constantly fearful.

Victoria was the type of kid to be at the playground and jump off the top of the slide instead of going down it. She would reach out to touch the flame on a candle just to see what it felt like. And that was the kind of spirit that drove her life. She always wanted to see what it felt like. It drove Abigail insane, and she constantly joked about wrapping Victoria up in bubble wrap and a helmet for the rest of her life. That probably would have done her some good.

Although Victoria loved Abigail, she always wished Abigail didn’t always have to be so perfect. Everyone commented on it, including their parents. They would ask Vic ‘why don’t you try being more like your sister?’ Just once, she wanted Abigail to be the one to screw up or do something reckless, but that day never seemed to come. Even as they grew up and Abigail went off to school, she only seemed to climb higher and higher up on her pedestal. At least, through Vic’s eyes.

It wasn’t until college that Vic really found the freedom she had always longed for. She specifically looked for a school far away from home, opting to attend University of North Carolina just to put some space between her and her overbearing family. Her freshman year, Vic really took that opportunity to try new things, which meant she was in and out of the student conduct office within her first year. But she just saw it as she always did--having fun, living a little, and trying new things.

Her sophomore year, Vic decided to move off campus, putting up a random posting looking for a roommate. This is how she met Rebecca Goldmann. Although they were not exactly alike, Rebecca seemed to be the perfect fit to balance Victoria out a bit. They ended up becoming extremely close throughout college, despite the fact that they were clearly moving down completely different career paths.

Throughout college, Abigail always made an effort to reach out and keep in touch with her sister, despite the fact that Victoria was extremely inconsistent in returning her calls and outreach. Abigail had been developing this entirely different life, falling and love with Cormac Hayes and having a couple of children. Vic wanted to be apart of their life more, and Abigail always kept the door open, but she always struggled with feeling like her “crazy little sister.” It wasn’t until she found out Abigail got sick that the floor dropped out from under her.

Her sister’s illness hit Vic hard. Seeing the cancer slowly eat away at her made Victoria feel like it was eating away at her too. She was constantly angry, at Cormac, at the cancer, even at Abigail. It wasn’t fair, but she didn’t know how to process it. Even though there was resentment there, Victoria loved Abigail with all of her heart and soul. Abigail was her protector. Her guardian. Everything good about Victoria was because of Abigail’s influence. Losing her was the most devastated she had ever felt.

The time after Abigail’s death was hard. Vic moved home, but even being around her family was difficult. Her parents were never the same. There was this huge whole in their lives, and it was one Victoria knew she could never fill. She also had a hard time looking at Cormac after. Being a doctor, Victoria always secretly wished that he would have saved her. That he could have protected Abigail from it all. But really, Victoria hated herself the most. When her nephews moved to Seattle with Cormac, Vic vowed that she would be a part of their lives, however hard it might be.

CURRENTLY

Victoria has been in Seattle for years, but she only recently started working at the hospital, putting her media relations degree to good use.

She is finding it very hard to accept that Cormac has already moved on with a new relationship. Finding out about their new baby certainly won’t be easy.

If it wasn’t for being with her best friend, Vic would probably go crazy. Rebecca helps ground her and is always there when she needs to have some fun, cry, or blow off some steam.

Despite what some might assume, Victoria has always been a bit of a romantic. Falling in love, after all, is the greatest adventure to her, and she is always searching for the right person to take it with.

#traumaintro #she was born with stars in her eyes ( victoria dawson. )#( character intro. )

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serrj215 · 5 years

Text

Family

The night was angry, rain punished the earth, and lightning cracked the sky again and again. Trigon was gone. The king of demons was trapped in his own little corner of reality. Still that didn’t stop him from making an occasional appearance in his daughter’s dreams. It was 4:00 am when Raven had jumped out of her skin. A summer storm shook the windows and rattled on the roof above. Raven looked down her body to see a pair of sleepy annoyed green eyes.

She jerked her leg in waking up. Sweet Potato yawned then went back to using Raven's left ankle as a pillow. The small orange cat was asleep in moments. It was about 6 years ago when the cat adopted them.

"Rae!" Beast Boy shouted, "The landlord didn’t mention this!"

Raven came out to the balcony of their new apartment. To find her fiancé sitting on the cement floor an orange kitten in his lap. He looked up at her. "Free cat!" he said with a smile almost too big for his face.

"Garfield, where did that come from?" She asked as she started messaging one of her temples.

"Well Rae, when a Mama cat and a Daddy cat love each other ver-"

"You know what I mean!" Raven snapped. It had been a long day already. The furniture they had ordered hadn’t shown up. Their living room was just a mountain of boxes. She was hungry, tired, sweaty, and just knew the boxes with her clean clothes were probably buried under all their other belongings.

Beast Boy got up cradling the cat in his arms. The animal barely reacted like all of this happened every day. Before she knew it, he had closed the distance between them, and she was holding a purring orange ball of fluff. The cat started rubbing his head against her chin, his motor running on overdrive.

"Gar," Her hands of their own volition started petting the cat. "We really can’t have a pet right now. WE! don't even have a place to sleep tonight." The cat was doing its best to charm her "Besides I already have you. "

"Ha. Ha." He said as his hands joined hers in the cat’s fur. "Well don’t think of him as a pet, he can be our training kid!" That remark was enough to bring Raven to her senses and she pushed the cat back into Beast Boy's arms.

"OH No!" she said sternly "He can stay tonight but is going to a shelter in the morning! We don't need a training kid, we are renting an apartment together, we are engaged, do not get ahead of yourself!" Raven stormed back inside to rip apart boxes.

That was six years ago, and the cat later named Sweet Potato for his color had decided to become Raven's near constant companion. Whatever room Raven went in, a small orange puffball followed. The cat didn’t demand attention often, he was content to take up watch from the bookshelves as Raven meditated, or to supervise her from the top of the fridge when she made her tea. Despite being able to sleep just about anywhere most nights he preferred the small valley between Raven's feet.

Despite the cat's comfort, Raven started to get up to check on the baby. She stopped when she realized that the little one was closer than she thought. Four-month-old Luke was asleep on her husband's chest. The little boy was quite content with Garfield's hand on his back holding him protectively. Luke was facing her, his face scrunched up in sleep. He was wearing that blue onesie that said, “I am a baby not an Engineer” That his father put him in at almost every chance he got.

"Raven he is beautiful" That’s the first words he heard as the medication started to wear off. Garfield was sitting in a chair next to her hospital bed. He held a blanketed bundle to his chest.

It was over a full month before Raven was due. The last thing she was expecting was her little boy to show up that night. Beast Boy knew it would be months before they could have some time to themselves, so he surprised her with a night on the town.

It was a pleasant evening in early November. The air was just starting to chill giving her husband another reason to hold her close as they walked down the street. They had gotten a table at a nice café in town and just when the soup arrived Raven's contractions started. The next thing they knew plates were flying with black energy and she was loaded into an ambulance.

"Are you alright?" Raven asked from her hospital bed.

"I am not the one that had the emergency C-Section, how are you?" Beast Boy took Raven's hand.

“I am wonderful, but that might just be the painkillers." She craned her neck to look at the small face hidden between blankets and her husband's chest. “Luke Logan" she said.

"He looks just like you Rae."

Raven didn’t see it. Luke had his father’s green skin and pointed ears; his head had whips of fine hair that looked almost black. Just like their daughter Luke had gotten his fathers more prominent features.

“He must take after you though, showing up 5 weeks early.”

"He is amazing Rae. I can't believe that we get to keep him." Beast Boy stood up bringing the baby closer to Raven. "I can't stop looking at him."

"You were the same way with Leia, Gar have you slept?" She asked gingerly sitting up. The sun was a shade of orange coming through the windows. It had to be just past dawn. Raven really didn’t have to ask. Her husband's eyes were red and had some bags under them. The button-down shirt he was wearing for their date was an untucked wrinkled mess, and his hair was all over the place.

"I couldn’t, I mean every noise he made I kept checking on him. " The baby started to fuss a bit. "Here is Mama." Beast Boy laid their son into his mother's arms. "You going to be good for visitors? Robin said he can't really hold back both Star and Leia for much longer. "

Thunder clashed and the little girl stirred. Leia had climbed into their bed again. She lay on her side between her mother and father holding onto Raven's leg like a teddy bear. She was in her white feety pajamas with the green monkeys on them. Raven ran her fingers through her daughter’s dark hair. Just her brother Leia's skin was green like her father’s, but her hair was like her mothers. Raven knew that her daughter was a bit jealous of her baby brother.

"Rae are you alright?" Beast Boy pounded on the bathroom door. His wife had been there for nearly half an hour. Sweet Potato was attempting access by sticking his paw under the crack of the door.

"Raven I am coming in!" He quickly looked down at the cat. “Cover me” he said before shifting into a banana snake and slipping easily under the door. As soon as he was in, he shifted back to his normal form. sink, toilet, bathtub, no Raven? He was ready to bolt out thinking that he had been pounding on the wrong door the last 20 minutes till his nose told him different. Raven’s scent was still strong here, it was tainted with stress.

Beast Boy pulled back the shower curtain and found his wife laying in the empty bathtub. She was clutching something to her chest with both her hands. He wasn't sure but she looked paler than usual and her eyes were puffy and a bit red. He sat on the edge of the tub not sure what to make of this. "Rae you’re scaring the cat." He said quietly Raven was silent.

"Okay…Now you're scaring your husband" He reached out to her hands and Raven recoiled turning herself into the wall of the tub. Beast Boy was not going to let her hide from him. So, he climbed into the tub with her. It was a tight fit his chest to her back. "Rae I am not leaving.” He gently rubbed up and down her arm. “Talk to me whatever this is, we are in this together"

Beast Boy's mind ran the gamut, Trigon was returning, She saw the end of the word, green tea was declared a controlled substance, she was dying, Starfire was dying, He was dying, he jumped from one worst case scenario to the next. Then with shaking fingers she passed a white plastic object over her shoulder to her husband.

He took the white plastic stick with the small window that has a dark blue + sign in it. Beast Boy had never seen one before but knew exactly what it was.

"Raven…this is amazing! I didn't think we could…I mean oh god! I hope she is just like you!" He said burying his face into her shoulder giggling like an idiot.

"Don't you get it I ruined our lives!" she said into the porcelain. "We can't do this we can't be parents and Titans and..,and" That’s when the tears came.

Beast Boy pulled her tight to him. "So, we stop being Titans, or I stop and stay with the kid or I get a job or open an ice cream shop whatever it takes, whatever you and the baby need."

"You’re really happy about this." shock was coming though the sobs.

"Happy, scared, excited, petrified it's like that rush when the roller coaster goes over the first hill times like a billion."

They held each other in that empty bathtub for nearly an hour. It was the start of what Beast Boy's called a 9-month roller coaster. Anyone that says you can be ready to be a parent they are lying. But he was there for every diaper, sleepless night and doctors appointment. He cried more then baby Leia did when she got vaccinated.

The windows flashed with lighting and the boom was so loud, the strike had to be right outside. Raven's hand found her husbands, brushing the bracelet around his wrist before giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Rae?"

Raven looked up into her husband’s barely opened eyes. "You ok?" He asked.

Raven just nodded slightly. Beast Boy pulled his wife's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm. Then settled back into his pillow, his hand rubbing Luke’s back before coming to a rest.

Beast Boy didn't know what to think. Things were going so well or he thought. He had been dating Raven for nearly a year and somehow, he didn’t screw it up. Oh, he had made mistakes, still upset her from time to time but things were good. At least he thought they were good till this week.

He woke up one day and it was like the last 12 months never happened. Raven would barely talk to him. She would leave the room whenever he walked in. Raven even cut her hair short again, she had been growing it out and it was just past her shoulders. But now it was as short as the day they met. The last three nights he had got to her room knowing she was behind the door trying to apologize. Beast Boy had no idea what he did wrong. But he would cop to global warming, the Lex Luthor presidency, and Hawaiian Pizza if his girlfriend would just talk to him. But the door would not open. Leaving Beast Boy to shift into a terrier to sleep at her door.

On the 4th day, his phone chimed. Raven had sent a text. “Please come to my room tonight, at 8:43pm sharp.”

That was it. A simple grammatically correct text message to let him know that they were done. He knew it was coming. After all she was amazing, he was a freak. She was lovely, he was a green gremlin. He should have known that Raven would want better, she deserved better. All that was left to do was show up at the time Raven requested, take it like a man, then go back to his room bawl like a baby in private.

For the first time in days Raven's door opened for him when he knocked. Raven stood in the doorway wearing a white flowing robe that went all the way to the ground. A small smile on her face. She put out her hand "Come with me please." Beast Boy dumbfounded took her hand and let her lead him into the darkened room.

In the center of the room in front of the bed was a low small table. On the table was a black cast iron bowl full of green flame. It was the only light in the room, the fire gave no scent or smoke. Raven led him over to the table, holding his hand the whole time. They knelled across the table from each other. That’s when Beast Boy noticed a purple braid next to the iron bowl. He recognized it right away as Raven's hair, the length she had cut and now interweaved. This was getting stranger by the second.

"Raven what is going on?" He asked finally remembering how to talk.

"Garfield do you love me?" She asked, looking into his eyes.

Beast Boy could feel his heart in his throat "Yes"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes" he said, and he meant it. Despite the last few days he would still walk through hell for her if she asked.

Raven with her free hand took the braid of hair. "To you, I offer myself, my love, my wish to walk the path with you." She wrapped the bracelet around his wrist. "Will you accept me?"

Beast boy's eyes were as wide as saucers. He had no idea what was going on, just a tingle down his back. His mouth had gone dry and if you asked, if he would be able to remember his name, it would be Bob. But on instinct alone he breathed out "Yes, please." As if he was just offered a cold drink which he could have used at the time.

Then in one motion Raven passed their hands over the bowl of fire. The bracelet caught the flame and was instantly engulfed. Beast Boy jerked his hand back in panic, but Raven held fast. The flame had no heat and only lasted a moment. When he looked at his wrist the braid of hair was gone. What remained was a bracelet, a braided chain made of a silver colored metal with a slight purple tint.

It took Beast Boy a few moments to process this. "Rae, what did we just do here, did we just get married?" He said wide eyed "Because it feels like we just got married."

"This is an Azarathan betrothal ceremony"

“So were engaged?"

"Yes, is that not acceptable?" she said quietly.

"Yes! I mean No! I mean I always thought I would ask you, and this last week I thought that you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” The words came out in a rush. Beast boy went from feeling like the weight world was across his shoulders to being in free fall.

"I am sorry Gar" She offered and took both his hands. She stood and pulled him to his feet. "It was all part of the tradition." A moment later the room was lit by dozens of candles that were scattered about. "On Azerath the woman chooses a suitor. When she does, she lets her hair grow out. If the relationship does not work, she cuts her hair short until she meets someone else.” Raven fingered the bracelet on Beast Boy’s wrist. “However, if the relationship does work when the hair is long enough the woman will cut her hair and fashion this bracelet. During which she cuts herself off from her suitor to see how he reacts. Trust me this was just as hard on me as it was on you. "

"Would it still be okay if I still got you a ring?" he said timidly.

"Of course,"

Beast boy kept looking at the chain that now wrapped his wrist. "Um Rae, there is no clasp on this."

"Of course there isn't, you are mine now." She kissed him deeply, removing whatever sense he had left.

"We’re getting married." He stated. He needed to say it, he needed to hear it, to make sure that this was real.

"Yes, but that comes later” She said walking over to the bed. She turned to face him, “there is one final part of the ritual." with one motion she undid a clasp at her throat and the white robe fell from her shoulders and pooled at her feet. All that she was wearing at that point was the flickering candle light.

Raven let her head ease back onto the pillow she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sound of the rain. Trying to let the rhythm soothe her. For years she thought that she would be alone. Who would accept a demon? Who could love a monster? She truly expected to fall asleep alone with her nightmares for the rest of her life. But thanks to a scrawny, green, pointed eared, boy that couldn’t resist a pun. She was not alone. No matter what her father conjured in her dreams she would wake up next to the man she loved and the family they built.

Still in the morning, Raven was going to talk to her husband about getting a bigger bed.

This was a work created for another project that do to unforeseen circumstances did not happen. You will also find it on A03. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019136 It was a shame cause I got to work with some really creative people.

#bbrae #bbrae fanfiction #serrj215 original

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nymphl · 5 years

Text

In the General’s Bed - Regency Hux x Reader - Ch. 1 - To love a General

A/N: Hello xD Decided to update In the General’s Bed to here as well. It’s a Regency story set in England, 1815. So it will contain historical elements and important figures of that time. I truly hope you like it xD

Story Summary: The General is cornered… Upon returning from a successful campaign in Battle of Waterloo, Armitage Hux knows he has no excuses left; he must produce the much-needed heir. The problem is, when the two of you parted five years ago, it was not in the best of terms. Now, he may not find his wife, you, so willing as he first expected, nor keen on taking part in any of his political games. [Hux x Reader – Hux x You – Regency AU].

Warnings for the entire story: Will contain at times; graphic violence, sex, drugs and manipulation, coarse language and OOCness.

AO3 Tags: Regency Era; Alternate Universe; Alternate Story; Alternate Universe - Historical; Arranged Marriage; Politics; War; Napoleonic Wars; England - 1815; Married Couple; OOCness; Smut

Wordcount: 6589.

NEXT CHAPTER

Southampton, 1815.

“MAMA... A HORSE! IT’S A HORSE!”

A small smile crept to your lips at the boy’s excitement. He squirmed in your arms, trying excitedly to stand up on his bouncy legs and move away from you. That and the trotting sound getting closer and closer made you look up.

Definitely not the actions of a boy excited because of a drawing of his favorite animal in a lost paper in the middle of a children’s book.

As soon as your eyes settled on the source of the boy’s happiness your own vanished.

The smile died in your lips.

It was clear the boy was happy because he saw a real horse. And he simply loved horses. You were sure he would be a great rider — greater than his talented father — when his time comes.

With him still squirming in your hold — he had no idea how dangerous horses could be to a creature as small as himself —, you kneeled on the picnic blanket and glared at him. He was usually a very sweet and well-behaved boy, but he got too excited around huge animals.

“Behave, will you, little Lord?”

He pouted, and if he were any other child, he would have cried. But he was too damn stubborn to cry — just like his father. His big, round and chestnut eyes stared at you with some sort of resentment. He simply hated to be told what to do.

Contrary to most people, you were not affected by this and rose to your feet. Smoothing the fabric of your mousseline dress, you pursed your lips into a thin line.

The visitor — the horseman the boy heard — was not a welcome one, which was kind of ironic, considering he was your estranged husband.

“Stay here.”

“But—

“Lux, do I need to remind you I don’t like when you complain?”

His eyes were full of tears now. He did not cry, however. Too damn stubborn. Too sweet to upset you further with a whiny behavior. Biting your bottom lip — you regretted your tone; you were too harsh with him —, you ruffled his ginger hair and smiled reassuringly at him before stepping away and closer to the stranger entering the property.

“I am sorry, Mama.”

His apology went by unheard by you. Your heart was thundering in your chest and the now stronger breeze did not help your hearing in the least.

Breathe, Y/N. Just breathe.

You told yourself you would be ready for this confrontation a hundred of times. Yet, as the years went by without a word from him, you grew sure he was as good as dead. He was, after all, at the War and people died at Wars. Even though skilled — a General, responsible for his own Battalion and held accountable for numberless victories for the Empire —, he could have fallen. The greatest warriors fell eventually, and Armitage Hux was but a man.

Turns out you were not ready.

You doubted you would ever be.

Feelings of resentment, anger, disappointment, abandonment all filled you, leaving you on the verge of tears. But just like the tiny boy you held in your arms seconds earlier, you were too stubborn to cry.

Biting the inside of your cheeks, you waited for him to dismount and look at you.

He didn’t.

Well, he did dismount his horse and held its reigns tightly in his left hand; the right removed the Wellington hat covering his neatly combed ginger hair before he bowed head towards you in a gentlemanly gesture.

“Lady Hux…”

You stood there, agape, for what seemed like hours.

He was different.

Very different from the man who left you so many years ago. Long gone were the beard and the shoulder-length red hair.

Albeit older now, he looked younger. And paler… and slimmer.

Realizing that you took too much time looking at him in eerie, awkward silence, you closed your eyes and mimicked his gesture. There was a lot you wanted to tell him and even more that you wanted to ask — why did he left without a word, why did he stay silent for five long years, why did he hate you so much? —, but you stopped yourself as you heard the sound of not only more horses trotting, but of a carriage approaching as well.

Of course, he was not alone. It was stupid of you to have thought so.

He arched one light eyebrow at you, waiting for your answer. Embarrassed for messing up the etiquette rules expected of you — a Marquise none the less —, you bowed dutifully.

“My Lord... It has been…” You bit your bottom lip and kept looking down as etiquette demanded, even if you wanted to shoot him dead with your eyes alone. “A long time.”

“Indeed,” he replied; his voice calm. It was not needed to be a genius to know he was looking past you. If his curious intonation was of any indication…

Quicker than a lightening crossing the skies before a storm, Lux ran to you, hiding behind your legs. You could feel his small face against the fabric of your dress, his hand pulling it as he demanded silently to be held in your arms.

“Mama! Who is—

“Lux, what did I—

“Lord Hux, it’s good to see you back and well.” A soft, but firm voice reached the three of you. The boy looked up at the familiar face and outstretched his arms. Rae Sloane did not get him in her arms, instead, she offered her hand and gestured towards the house. “Come along, Lux, it’s time for supper.”

If it was any other talking to him, he probably would have said I don’t want to in a whiny tone, but he never said no to Rae Sloane. Well, you doubted someone ever did. If there was someone the boy both feared and respected, she was certainly the one.

You smiled in spite of yourself.

Rae was not a mother, but she was gifted with children. She never raised her voice nor needed to act harshly; children respected her without any of these subterfuges. The same could not be said about you. As much as Lux loved you, he had a penchant for trying out your patience and defying you whenever he felt like doing it.

“Is he mine?”

His whispered voice dragged you back to the present moment. The smile, once again, died in your lips. You shifted your eyes and stared at him as the answer slipped past your mouth in an equal tone.

“No.”

You did not wait to watch his reaction before you headed to the house. You did not want to watch the judgment in his blue eyes before he even knew the truth. You left all that was taken to the picnic behind; the servants would take care of them as soon as possible.

Without casting a look over your shoulder to see if he was following you — he wasn’t —, you climbed the old wooden staircase with a weak resolve. Your heart was once again thundering in your chest and you were not so sure of the conversation that was to follow. The fact he expressed no loud reaction — always so composed and self-controlled — had you even more nervous.

Soon, his firm steps echoed behind you. He seemed taken by your dry answer, but he did not prevent you from walking away from him and actually dictating where your first words — after five years of estrangement — should take place.

You chose the study and headed to where the whisky was stored. If you were to have this conversation — you knew how mad he would be once he knew the truth — you would rather have some alcohol involved.

He closed the door behind himself, one eyebrow arched as you swallowed the brown liquid in one big gulp.

You opened your mouth.

Nothing came out.

“Is he mine?” he asked once again. His tone was calm, his eyes cold. They betrayed nothing of what he truly felt. If he did feel something. Sometimes, he looked more machine than man.

“No.”

It was your only answer.

Part of you wanted to tell nothing more. Part of you wanted — longed even — to toy with his feelings — did he feel anything at all? — and let him wait — five fucking years — for your answer. Part of you wanted to scream at him and ask why.

…Why no words…

…Why no missives…

…Why no visits…

And mostly, why only cold and sterile silence while you worried yourself to death over his life.

But part of you could not take it any longer.

You poured more whisky in your glass, but before you could bring it to your mouth, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. The glass fell to the floor, but neither of you paid it any attention. The loud crash was nothing compared to the sound of the blood pumping in your ears and your heart racing madly against your ribcages.

“Who is the father?”

His voice was getting impatient now. It was losing all traces of aloofness as he stared at you in the eye; his bluish orbs still cold but narrowed, which indicated at least a bit of annoyance.

The hurt, abandoned and betrayed wife — friend, he was your friend to begin with! Or so you considered yourself as such before he left without notice. It was clear to you he never thought of you too highly; being ten years older than you made him look at you in a condescending manner, and the fact that the two of you were locked in an arranged marriage only made matters worse. Still, you always thought you were able to get through him and understand a little better the man behind the military façade — in you made you wet your lips and raise your chin in defiance.

“Why?” You finally found your voice. “Are you mad?” You narrowed your eyes. “Jealous, Lord Hux?”

His fingers tightened around your arms, but not to the point of hurting you. He was always very self-conscious of his strength and never used it against you. In fact, he was a man who preferred manipulation over brutal violence. If he could make his enemies cower to the sound of his voice, he would. It did not mean, however, he would back down from a fight.

Skillful with both sword and gun, he never retreated from a battle, no matter how lost it seemed to him.

He tightened his jaw and let go of you. Walking around the room, he stopped closer to the decanter, but he did not move to pour himself a drink. His arms were behind his back as he considered his options carefully — considered what to say. When the next words left his lips, you almost choked.

“Lux, you said…” He was back turned to you. He was emotionless and if you did not know him well, you would have said the matter did not affect him in the least. “If I am to raise a bastard, I ought to know whose bastard I am raising.”

You gasped.

Suddenly, the fact he was bothered by the entire situation did not matter at all. You approached him in small steps, your hands reaching out to him and retracting at the same time.

“He is not mine either,” you whispered. He did not look at you, but the fact he had tilted his head to the left a little indicated he had heard you. Even so, you spoke again, “I am not his mother.”

If the General seemed more at ease after your attempt at reassurance, he did not let it show. With his back still facing you, he served himself some whisky and brought the glass to his lips. A scoff left him as he looked at you over his shoulders.

“Brendol Hux would say it’s fitting…”

You furrowed your brows, not getting his meaning.

“It’s only natural that a bastard like myself would raise someone’s else bastard.”

You bit your bottom lip, now heavily regretting your silence. You should have said Lux was not yours when he first called you Mama. You should have reprehended him like you usually did.

This was a sore topic for your husband. You knew it. You knew it better than anyone, having been his friend before you were his wife. Nonetheless, your feelings clouded your judgment. If you were to be honest with yourself, you would admit that his pain would bring you some joy.

You were not usually like this. You had been taught compassion and kindness were the best solutions to almost every situation, but you were only human, and you had reached your limits.

“I already said I am not his mother.”

“Then, who is it?”

That was what you feared the most. It would be a greater blow to his pride to know you were currently not only hosting his rival’s son, but actually raising it, than the knowledge you had slept and had had a child with another man.

“Lord Dameron.” You looked at your feet. “As in Poe Dameron…”

There was silence for a moment.

If your blood was not pumping so fast in your ears, you would have heard him exhaling sharply; would have seen him squaring his shoulders and pursing his lips into a firm, thin line.

“That does not explain the red hair.”

Your head moved so fast your vision went black for a moment. You took a moment to adjust to the sight of the study room around you before you spoke, “Well… It comes from his mother.” You were sure of his next question, so you got ahead of him and continued, “She died in childbirth.”

“The boy believes you are his mother.”

“He doesn’t.” The reply was quick in your lips. You looked down as you saw his dusty shoes approaching you. He stopped in front of you as you explained further, “He knows I am not his mother, however, he loves me as if I were.”

His fingers in your chin made you hold your breath.

“And you love him back.”

You pursed your lips, preventing you from telling him something he would not very much like to hear. In the past, you would not have hold yourself, but you knew the man from the past. This man in front of you? You had no idea who he was. He was no better than a stranger.

Some months were sufficient to change people, five years were more than enough to change someone completely and turn friends into enemies.

Lovers into strangers.

“Should I not?” You stared at him right in the eye, not bothered in the least with the unreadable expression you saw in his bluish orbs.

He let go of your chin and stepped away. Not far to outstretch an arm, but distant enough give you an analytical look.

“The boy should be with his father.”

You scoffed at him. Who was he to decide anything concerning the boy’s life?

“His father visits whenever he can, which is more than I can say about you.”

As soon as these words left you, you placed both hands over your mouth, horrified with your own bluntness. Part of you expected him to strike you — and you were already prepared for a busted lip or something like that —, part of you was sure he would never lean a finger on you.

You reasoned the old Armitage Hux — your friend, your lover — would not harm you under any circumstances, but you also knew this was not the same man from the past. This was your husband and you did not know your husband.

Instead of a slap, he assaulted you with his silence.

You fisted your hands and took a deep breath. Opening your eyes, you saw him walking towards the door.

He was leaving.

He was leaving you without a word.

Again.

You could take anything but it.

“Five years…” you whispered, drawing his attention. “You could have visited.” You could have written, you thought. You chewed your bottom lip, controlling the urge to cry. Never in your life you felt to exposed and so hurt. “Fuck, Armitage!” You felt the first tear rolling down your face. “You could have said you were leaving!”

His answer was quick this time. And so detached that putting a knife in your heart would have hurt less.

“It would change nothing.”

You dried your tears and turned your back to him. Looking at the windows, looking outside, usually helped you calming your nerves. That and alcohol, but you were already dizzy and you were not about to get drunk because of him. He would not have this much control over you. You told yourself you were emotional not because he was back after five long, silent years, but because you were nearing your period and that made your control over yourself slippery.

“How come?”

From your place, you heard him placing the glass over some flat surface and stepping closer to you. It made you straighten your back. He invaded your personal space and you held your breath. When his hands ghosted over your shoulders and arms, you felt your heart stopping for a moment before it raced like wild horses. His fingers traced your fisted hands, loosening your own fingers and entwining them together.

“I would have to be gone anyways.” His voice was a mere whisper in your ear. His right hand moved from yours to your throat and then your chin, forcing you to stare at him.

“I know…” you whispered back, staring right into his blue eyes. They had always been gateways to his soul in the past, when you were both younger, but now… Now, you could see nothing. There was a saying that War changed people and seeing him now… You could not say you disagreed with it. “But it would have changed everything for me.”

It would make you worry less, you could have added. And it would make you feel less dejected… Less abandoned. It would stop you from wondering if it were you who drove him away or if it were something none of you could have done something about.

“You have always hated farewells.” His voice was even lower as he buried his nose in your hair. You sucked in a breath and leaned against him involuntarily. The tip of his nose moved from your locks to behind your ear and finally your neck. He planted a small kiss there.

Your nostrils flared. You inhaled the air, inhaled him. Even if he had changed drastically, appearance and behavior, he still smelled the same.

“I have missed you, (Y/N).”

His lips pressed against a small part of your shoulders that was not covered. His tongue slithered past his mouth and tasted your skin.

A shiver ran down your spine.

You fought not to close your eyes and give in.

Five years was a long time to forget — to forgive — in five minutes and with some kisses. A flirty behavior and some whispered, sweet nothings in your ears would not change how hurt you felt for half a decade.

“I hate to be left in the dark even more,” you finally found your voice. Your shaky legs forced you away from him as you walked further closer to the windows. He took a step towards you and you flinched. “Stay away from me.”

If he was displeased with your behavior, he did not show it. He seemed more like resigned. He took a few steps back and suddenly, you heard the door cracking open. It was not needed to look at him to know he was leaving you alone.

You fought the need to tell him he was not dismissed, as you could have done considering your social position above him. Granted, he was your husband and even though he held no nobiliary title, society deemed him above you and besides your rightful owner.

Gritting your teeth at that, you remained with your head held high, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you in such state of distress. When you did not hear the door closing, you looked at him over your shoulder. He wetted his lips and when your eyes clashed together, he finally spoke; the venomous words making you hate the day you had first met him.

“When you are done feeling sorry for yourself and behaving like a spoiled child, we can have this conversation.”

“Sleep tight, Lux.” You kissed his brow and adjusted the blankets over his chest. It was crystal clear he was quite sleepy, but he fought it with every fiber of his being and kept his chestnut eyes wide open. “I will see you tomorrow.”

He yawned and involuntarily his lids fluttered closed.

You tapped his little nose before leaving the room. You felt your heart race when you met with the straight face of Rae Sloane. She had a knowing aura all around her and you could not help but gulp.

“I am giving you no details,” you lost no time to say. Keeping your hands at your back, you walked towards the stairs, towards the dining room and ultimately, towards your husband.

She raised her eyebrows but said nothing. It was clear she already knew everything from your refusal to share a single information. You huffed in despair. Sometimes you hated this woman to guts. Her quick-witted mind and analytical abilities usually — always — left you entirely at her mercy.

“Are you having dinner with us?” you asked, looking at her out of the corner of your eyes.

“Do you want me to?” she answered with another question. Her straight face gave away nothing, but you have lived for long five years with her to know when she was having fun at someone’s expenses. At your expenses.

“I’ve never known you to ask rhetorical questions, Rae.”

She shrugged, her hands placed behind her back. She behaved just like Hux, which annoyed you to no end. Or he did behave like her, considering she was the one to raise him and teach everything he knew…

You opened your mouth, but she bet you to your game and shook her head. In fact, you would have said she glared at you, her dark eyes hiding nothing of her disapproval.

“Why not?”

She raised her brows as if it was difficult for her to believe you.

“You are his wife; your marital problems are none of my business, my Lady.”

“But…” You closed your mouth. She had to help you. “You know him better than anyone.” You stopped on your way to the dining room and held her hands between yours. She was not a woman who enjoyed physical contact that much, but she learned over the years not to push you away. “Rae, you raised him! If there is someone who knows him—

She patted your hands between hers reassuringly. She never did that, and when she did, it meant that the content of her words would not be what you wanted to hear at all.

“Time changes people, (Y/N)… Being in a War zone for five years changes them forever.”

You swallowed.

She was right. You knew that. She knew what she talked about. This War… she had seen it close by. She had been engaged in it. For as much as Wars were forbidden territory for women, there was always a Rae Sloane out there who defied everyone and everything to act by her beliefs.

“He could have come back...” You whispered, barely acknowledging defeat. “Lord Dameron comes back from time to time.”

She snorted.

“Can you even hear yourself?” Her tone was edgy; she had no qualms putting you in your place. “Lord Dameron is not a General. There were not thousands of lives hanging on his shoulders, even if that cocky brat would like to believe otherwise.”

This time, along with saliva, you had to swallow your pride.

“Now, let’s eat.” She gave you her back and started making her way towards the dining room. “If I have to endure your whiny and his sulky company, I would like to do that with warm food and good wine.”

Dinner time was ridiculously silent. The two of you stared at your own plates and Rae took her time analyzing you both. It was clear to you she was taking her sweet time and getting every bit of information she could about you and your relationship.

What was not clear as of yet was if she would play on your team or his… Given their proximity, you would say she would stand by him, but… She had lived with you for five years and you would like to believe the two of you formed a bond during this time.

However, Rae Sloane was a clever woman and she never did anything without considering all variables. If she was to team up with him, she would have good reasons to do so. It does not mean you would take it lightly. A betrayal was a betrayal after all.

You chewed your bottom lip and stared at her. She was thoroughly focused on your husband and when you looked at him, you noticed he was staring at you. His impossibly blue eyes completely on you.

A shiver ran down your spine.

In the past, you would have died for his attention — whatever bits of it he decided to give you; you would even beg for it and put yourself in all kinds of situations just to be the sun in his life — but now… It did not make you feel any comfortable.

Not for the first time, you had to agree with Rae. Five years, indeed, changed people. The man to your left, regarding you with some sort of… curiosity and renewed interest that you could not quite decipher was not the man you knew; the friend you worshiped.

As time went by — and after the third glass of wine — you were openly staring back at him and the fact that Rae could side with him did not bother you that much anymore. You were barely aware of the fact she was watching you both.

He was… different.

Very different.

There was no other way to put it. Before — before he left for the War —, he had a thick ginger beard and shoulder length-hair you loved to run your fingers through. You still recalled how it was to kiss him, when the two of you were merely engaged and hiding from your strict father, and entangle your fingers in his locks and later how he would brush his lips — and his beard — along your neck and shoulders. Always a sucker for the rules, he never went beyond kisses and a few bolder caresses that never put you in a compromising situation.

There was no beard now and no long hair for you to entangle your fingers in. His pristine appearance made him look even more distant and unreachable. Cold.

However, what stood out the most were his eyes. His bluish eyes were so icy now. Calculative. There was no warmth left in them — now, that was not a word that you would usually associate to him, but even if a rare occasion, you had seen him looking at Rae Sloane with some affection in the past —, no fondness whatsoever.

Yet, that did not make him less attractive. He exuded power from his very pores. His movements were not missed by you, as you analyzed every inch of him. It was with some surprise that you realized that you were staring at his long fingers around his wine goblet and actually imagining how it would feel to have them running over your skin in a sensuous caress.

You shivered…

…and busied yourself with your own goblet. You drank every last drop of your wine and gesticulated for the footman to serve you with some more. You almost chocked when you noticed that you were alone with your husband.

Rae was long gone, and you did not see her leaving. The servants were also out of sight.

In silence, he rose to his feet and outstretched his hand to you. With your brows furrowed, you were not sure if you should accept his gesture or not. His words still stung; part of you was not ready to forgive him for that either.

However, a small, rational part of you, knew that if the two of you were to reach an understanding you would have to let go of your grudges and listen to him — at least try to.

If those five years were hard for you, you could only imagine what it was for him.

“I am sorry…” You bit your bottom lip. “I am sorry for my reaction earlier. My behavior was… inexcusable.”

He did not say anything, not to agree nor to disagree with you. You thought that it was to be expected. He was never a man fond of small talk, you reasoned that he would not start taking a liking to it now.

With a defeated sigh, you placed your hand on his and let him pull you to your feet. This time, when his face came closer and his nose touched yours, you did nothing to stop him.

“All these years…” he started, his voice low; his breath caressing your face. He brought his left hand to your chin and held you in place, forcing you to stare at him. His eyes were still distant… still unreadable. “There was never a day that I haven’t thought of you.”

Your heart raced at his words — that was closer as you would get to an apology for not having contacted you —; you felt conflicted. Part of you wanted to pull away, the other half wanted to pull him closer. His eyes were focused on your lips, and you found yourself closing your lids and acting by instinct.

Not very sure where to put your hands, you grabbed the lapels of his navy-blue tailcoat and pulled him down. He was taller than you and you had to stand on your toes to reach his full lips.

A moan left you as your lips met. A small caress. A mere brush. But after five years away from his touch, you were starved, and the very feel of him against you was enough set you on edge. His hands were stationed at your waist, pressing you against him, leaving no space between your bodies. His tongue caressed your bottom lip, seeking entrance, which you gladly conceded.

From there, you were not sure who dominated the kiss — if you or him, it did not matter, it was pleasurable both ways. He probably did, for he was a sucker for control. Your fingers brushed against his chin, before they entangled on his short, pristine hair. You almost chuckled in his mouth when he grabbed both of your wrists with one of his hands and moved them away from him.

He parted from you, his eyes intensely focused on your face. This time, you did not look away as expected from you, but you were about to bit your bottom lip when you felt his thumb caressing it earnestly. His right hand moved from your waist upwards, forcing you to suck in a breath. Your tongue brushed against his finger and his eyes darkened a bit.

“I have thought of you as well…” you admitted, your breath coming out in short gasps, “every single day… every waking hour. I was worried sick when you never came back.” He stopped caressing your bottom lip and tried to step away. You held him by his wrist. “Why haven’t you come back, Armitage?”

Instead of giving you a straight answer, he crashed his lips against yours in an overpowering kiss. He backed you against the dining table and smothered any thought of complaints. You kissed him back, surprised at how much intensity he could print into such gesture. With a gasp of surprise, you broke away from him when you felt his fingers tracing the line of your shoulders. His mouth quickly assaulted your exposed skin, covering the same ground his fingers just had covered a little bit earlier.

“I want you,” he whispered before bestowing your earlobe with a kiss. His voice was husky. Needy. It sent a jolt to your core. “I want you now.”

“Here?” you whispered back, fighting the wave of arousal that washed over you. It made you shudder. You bit your bottom lip and tried to think rationally. “Someone can see us.”

He paid you no attention as he sent all the tableware to the floor and forced you to sit over the wooden table. With his fingers entangled in your hair, he quickly removed the pearly clips your lady’s maid had put there before, letting your locks fall on your shoulders and back. You expected him to assault your mouth once again, but instead he buried his nose in your hair.

“Yes, here.” His voice was still husky; his hands and yours — you quickly noticed — worked on his tailcoat, removing it. The pearly cravat and the waistcoat trailed their way to the floor as well. “I want you now, here… And I don’t give a damn if anyone sees us.”

His admission and the passion that emanated from him were enough to make you pull him down by his hair and force him into a kiss. You ran your fingers through his still clothed chest, working on the buttons on the way.

He shuddered under your touch.

Your mouth was busy with his when you realized his hand was inside your evening dress, smoothing the fabric of your chemise and hiking it to your thighs. His lips trailed your neck again and moved down, towards your exposed clavicle and the contour of your breasts.

Dammit.

You drew in a sharp breath.

This was going all too fast.

You could feel him everywhere. His smooth face — devoid of the beard you loved so much — against your chest as his tongue traced your nipples through the fabrics of your chemise and evening dress; his left hand on your waist holding you in place and the right inside your clothes, reaching to your most private area.

A long and delighted moan left your lips when his mouth enclosed around your hard nipple and his finger touched your neglected — starved for his attention, and for so many years, really — clit and rubbed it through the undergarments slowly, as if showing how he would make love to you.

His touches were very… precise and thought-out. Even if he was passionate — more than you could remember —, intense, there was a part missing. His soul, his heart, was not in it.

And no matter how much needy you felt — famished and denied of his utter devotion and worship —, you were not blind not to see he was not totally into the act. Not the part of him you wanted — needed — the most.

This was all too much.

“S-Stop,” you muttered between short gasps. “I-I c… I can’t.”

He removed his mouth from your breasts and moved it closer to your own; his fingers, however, did not stop in their ministration, at least not until he had you withering under his touch.

You closed your eyes.

And your brain barely registered he had managed to somehow remove your undergarments and had inserted two of his fingers inside you, reaching as far as possible; his thumb sweetly pressed against your clit.

Your hands were on his arms, the nails digging deeply into his skin as he brought you to an earth-shattering orgasm. This time, he disobeyed your order and took your lips in an overwhelming kiss, smothering your moans.

He never stopped his caresses, not until you rode your orgasm fully. His tongue inside your mouth dominated you, indicating that besides making love slowly to you, he would take you fast and hard as well… It made you clench a bit more around his fingers, the wetness making it easier for him to keep scissoring you.

As soon as you came down from your high, you opened your eyes and stared at him, your bottom lip swollen and castigated. He removed his fingers from you and brought them to his lips, licking the traces of your orgasm clean.

“I was not ready for it,” you started out of breath.

Well, that was debatable.

You shook your head. Your body was more than ready for it — would it ever deny you any of the countless pleasures he could offer you? —, but your heart was not.

Not while you did not know if he was totally into it. And not only body. You needed body, mind, soul.

“You needed it,” he replied, tracing your bottom lip slowly. You could almost taste yourself. “Don’t deny me…” he whispered, brushing his lips against yours. “Don’t deny yourself, (Y/N).”

The way he spoke your name had you shuddering.

Somehow, you managed to find some strength in yourself and pushed him by his shoulders.

“No.”

He furrowed his brows.

“No.” Your voice was firm this time. “Not until I know why you never came back. It’s…” You bit your bottom lip, you wanted to cry. You always became a bit oversensitive after an orgasm and he knew it. “It’s killing me!”

He narrowed his eyes at you and moved away.

Long gone was the passionate man whose blue eyes promised to worship your body throughout the night; the man whose whispers admitted so openly to need you.

His back was facing you.

He had squared his shoulders.

But his silence remained.

No word left his lips. No words would.

“I was worried sick you had died… For months I…” You bit your bottom lip, you were about to cry and it ashamed you that you were about to admit how you were devastated that he had left without notice, but you had to make him understand how miserable your life had been all these years. He had to know! “For months I cried without knowing. Were you alive? Were you dead? Were you badly injured?”

You climbed down the table and smoothed the skirts of your dress.

“And then I started receiving offers for a second marriage. My father was gone— Your throat closed at the unwanted memory. Your eyes were glued to the floor, if you looked up you would have seen the somber look in his own blue orbs. “And I was the sole heir to his title and his lands… Every dandy said the love of my life was gone and I should secure my position through a new and beneficial marriage.”

He had no words when you were done.

“Did you hear me?”

He remained silent.

“Did you hear me, Armitage?”

He looked at you over his shoulders. His lips were drawn into a tight line.

“Love… such a meaningless word.”

Your eyes widened at his choice of vocabulary. Your heart stopped for a moment and your throat constricted.

“Do you love me?” he asked, and you noticed all too late he was invading your personal space. He touched your chin and tilted your head slightly back, forcing you to look at him.

You bit your bottom lip.

Before you could answer, he continued. His words low and sharp enough to crush your heart completely.

“Marriage is not about love, (Y/N). You should know that by now.”

A/N - I’ll update part 2 - To outsmart a General as soon as possible. If you never read this story and want to read all chapters posted so far there aren’t many xD, just go to my AO3 and you’ll find the rest of this story there. And if you want to be tagged, just let me know xD

#hux x reader #hux x you #armitage hux #general hux #regency hux #regency story #rae sloane #regency fanfiction #armitage hux x reader #armitage hux x you #general hux x reader #general hux x you #in the general's bed #itgb #in the generals bed

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ivedonestranger · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Titans (Animated Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dick Grayson/Raven, Koriand'r/Garfield Logan, Jinx/Victor Stone Characters: Robin (DCU), Raven (DCU), Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Jinx (DCU), Victor Stone, Kitten Walker Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Bad Decisions, Secret Relationship, Team as Family Series: Part 1 of RobRae Week 2019 Summary:

There was a plan, though stupid, and it didn't work.

Prompt #1 "I worry about you" for RobRae Week 2019!

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My first entry to RobRae Week 2019! You can read it on either AO3, FF.net or under the cut!

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13254786/1/The-Brilliant-Plan AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18384164

"You know, I worry about you."

Robin had landed his last roundhouse kick on the training bag when his friend Raven spoke the words. She had been silent for more of the training, sitting cross-legged on the floor watching him train. He scooped up the towel that was on the floor and pressed it against his sweating face.

"I'm sorry?"

"I worry about you," Raven continued rolling on to her back and tilting her head back to look at him. "You train so hard all the time and have no fun."

Robin cocked an eyebrow looking at his friend who had decided to stay behind when the rest had decided to go to the mall. Robin was glad because Cyborg had been yelling at Beast Boy for losing one of his pieces of technology. Robin did not know which but he really did not care. Initially, she had planned to check out the new bookstore that had come to Jump City but at the last moment changed her mind. She had been sitting there watching him since.

"I have fun," Robin answered bending over and grabbing his gym bag, fishing around for his sports bottle. Raven gave a purr, and Robin turned to face her with a raised eyebrow sucking down the delicious gaterade.

"Something wrong, Rae?"

"Just enjoying the view."

At that, the other eyebrow went up.

"You've never been quite this expressive before," Robin commented walking over to his gear, hooking up his belt, and tapping on his arm pad.

"Well, the others are gone, and I feel more comfortable," Raven said, her amethyst eyes watching him. She rolled on to her belly and propped her chin on her hands.

"I think I'm more worried about you, Raven," Robin said going back to his gym bag and picking it up. "Have you had a chance to meditate?"

"Don't wanna. I like this emotion I am feeling." Raven said with a grin.

"And which one is that?"

"Lust."

Robin froze, his mind trying to calculate what was being said to him and the implications of the words.

"I'm going to go take a shower, Rae, you might want to go meditate. We had a deal."

"What deal? I like you, and you like me. I think we should talk more about it."

Robin walked out of the room to take his shower.

Robin had started the shower to fill the room with a cloud of steam then went to shave before getting in. His mind was busy running through all the possibilities that had been put out there. Since today, Raven had gone from being quiet and sarcastic to talkative and quite forward with her thoughts. It was actually the fact that she did not know about the deal that told him what he needed to know.

Grabbing his towel and wrapping it around him, he made his way to the shower that was running and pulled back the curtain. He froze for a second trying to figure out his next move, but the gentle nudge in the back of his mind made him relax. Standing in the shower, under the hot stream, Raven stood, every gray curve out for him to see. She looked over her shoulder at him with a sexy smile.

"Found this empty shower. Wanna share?"

Robin sighed.

"Who are you?"

Raven frowned. "I'm Raven. Can't you see?"

She gestured to her naked body which Robin tried his best not to look.

"You aren't Raven."

The girl in the shower frowned and folded her arms across her chest. "if you don't want me then just say so. Maybe I've misread all the signals but who the hell do you think I am? If I'm not Raven, who is?"

"Me."

The voice came from the right of the room, and the two turned to see the dark leotard form of the exact girl in the shower. The naked girl in the shower paled and fell back against the stream.

"I'm glad you got my message, Rae," Robin said stepping to the side so Raven could peer in at the naked girl cowering in the corner, the water pounding on her. "this happened."

"I see," Raven answered leaning over casually and turning the water to cold. "I see you kept it in your pants."

"Hey! I think I was really quick in spotting the impostor."

Raven stared at the girl who was not shivering in the bitter cold stream of water.

"How did you figure it out?"

"The ring," Robin said pointing to it. "After Cyborg was yelling that Beast Boy lost it, I recognized the missing holographic ring. Not to mention she didn't know about the deal."

"Oh."

"Deal?" the girl squeaked in the torrent of icy water.

"Yeah," Raven grinned like a predator. "Robin and I have been engaged for four months. Promised not to sleep with each other until after we are married."

"Engaged?!" the girl squeaked in shock and horror. Raven turned the water colder silencing her.

"Who do you think is under the disguise? Jinx?" Robin asked enjoying the game that Raven had started.

"Nah, she's in Cy's room waiting till he comes home. The girl is not as sneaky as she thinks she is." Raven said shaking her head.

"I know," Robin groaned. "Starfire can't be quiet worth a damn. She tripped over her own feet trying to get to Beast Boy's room last night. The whole tower knows they are a couple by now."

"Well, we're not innocent. We haven't told them about us." Raven said putting her head on Robin's shoulder. "We might want to tell them we know and what our secret is. We are a team."

"P...pppp…..please….I'm…. I'm cold."

The two broke out of their conversation to look at the naked doppelganger who was still shivering in the cold shower. Raven put her hand out, and the girl reluctantly tugged the ring off. The image of Raven evaporated to show the wet, blond hair and dark eyes that were filled with a mixture of hurt and embarrassment.

"Kitten?" Robin said surprised.

"Hi," she answered.

"Leave," Raven ordered pushing on Robin's shoulder. He did not question his fiance but strode out the door hearing Cyborg coming down the hall.

Raven turned off the shower, and the girl slumped to the floor. Raven draped a towel over her shoulder which Kitten hugged.

"So, it's true," Raven said softly. "I heard from Fang in one of our battles."

"It's not my fault that I fall for things I can't have," Kitten whispered softly, looking imploringly in Raven's eyes.

"I wanted to hate him, I wanted to hate you. I wanted to make Fang jealous but even when he was playing nice to save the city or when he was willing to come to rescue me from Kwiz Kid-"

"Which you set up."

"-Yeah, he was still willing to. I never had someone go that far for me. I...I thought I could use you to get close and let him know who I really was. I even started a clothing line with the help of my dad. Moth resistant clothing brand. I wanted to show him I was different. I just needed something to hold over his head so he would listen to me."

"Stupid plan."

"I know."

They were silent for a few moments before Kitten let out a ragged sigh.

"I'm sorry, Raven."

"You're fine, dear. I understand."

Raven went to her locker and pulled out sweat pants and a shirt and gave it to the girl who was drying off. Through the entire conversation, Raven had been watching her emotions and felt only genuine feelings. As much as she wanted to smite the daughter of Killer Moth for even thinking she could steal Robin, it did not feel right.

Dressed, the two walked out of the community showers and found Robin standing guard while Beast Boy was arguing with him.

"Listen! My shower is broken, and I need to take one. Cyborg threw me in the pond!"

"You asked for it," Cy said. "I told you not to try and foist that girl on me."

They all stopped when they saw Raven and Kitten.

"Ummm...what is she doing here?" Starfire growled from down the hall.

"She came to visit Robin and I," Raven said evenly. "Kitten had some...uh...business ideas to discuss."

The room was silent for a moment before Beast Boy crossed arms and looked directly at the two birds.

"Okay, I know you guys are together but really? A threesome with Kitten?"

Robin's jaw dropped open in surprise while Raven's eyes turned dark in anger. They had no chance to say anything because Cyborg looked shocked.

"You're dating! And you didn't feel like telling your best friends that you two were a couple. I'm hurt, just hurt."

Starfire was nodding her head vigorously in agreement.

"Hey, Cy," Raven said calmly. "Better take a sandwich to your bedroom. Jinx's been in there for a little while and is probably hungry."

Cyborg froze, looked between the eyes that fell on him and grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, good idea."

"I thought so," Raven glared, and the tin man hurried away.

"And Star," Robin called to the Tamaranian. "Try using less fluffy slippers when sneaking around. It'll keep you from tripping yourself."

The Princess' face exploded into a sea of color, and she quickly retreated.

Robin looked to find Kitten sitting on the ground laughing to the point that she could not breathe.

"This...this cheered me up."

Once Kitten had left, after begging one hug from Robin, the two birds found themselves on the community couch. Raven had snuggled in under his arm as he was channel surfing. Since the secret was out, she had no issue showing the affection she had learned to express. Robin kissed the woman he loved on her forehead sending the wordless message of his love to her. She teleported one of her books to her hand and snuggled in to read while he watched a movie.

"You...you watching Killer Martians VS Giant Dinos?"

Robin looked to the doorway from the quarters and saw Cyborg standing there sheepishly and the pink feline eyes of Jinx peering around to look at him.

"Yep."

"Mind if we join?"

"It's your house as much as mind, Cy," Robin smiled in Jinx's direction.

The pinkette hopped on Cy's lap and pulled a lap blanket over her as the rather violent movie began. Within a few minutes, Starfire and Beast Boy showed up holding hands and silently nodded to Robin as they curled up in the center between Raven and Jinx.

As the movie played and the sun began to set, Robin looked at his team and the new dynamic that had been created. At this moment, he could feel the old Titans fading and a new era starting. The little things that Starfire and Beast Boy did and the loving glances Jinx and Cyborg shared.

There was a lot to talk about. Jinx's status the most since she never really said if she was going to be an honorary Titan or not. It could be a sticky situation, and Robin did not know if she could fit in their world.

"I ordered pizza," Jinx said dropping her hot pink phone with sequins into her lap. "It'll be here in 20."

Maybe she could fit after all. That could wait till tomorrow. They had a movie to watch.

#teen titans #teen titans fic #robrae week #robraeweek2019 #robrae week 2019 #dick grayson #rachel roth #robrae forever #robrae #ivedonestranger fics

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elliearchive · 6 years

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SOMEONE TO FALL BACK ON ➝ ST. TRIPLETS.

TAGGING ➝ Roman St. James, Regan St. James, Robin Taylor.

LOCATION ➝ Roman’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 2/12, late night.

WARNINGS ➝ Mental health episodes.

NOTES ➝ Triplet telepathy at its finest.

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman had really had the strangest feeling all day. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something in his gut just didn't feel right. As the day grew on, he felt an overwhelming need to check on his sisters, incase something was wrong, but he shook the thought away. Twin, or in their case triplet, telepathy wasn't a real thing, and he'd always been able to convince himself of that. Even as teens when he woke up in the middle of the night to find Robin on top of Regan, he was sure that he'd heard noises, it had nothing to do with knowing something was wrong. Except still, all he wanted to do was call his sisters. She shoved the feeling aside, deciding he'd text them both later, just to check. But it was really only a few minutes later when he heard his door opening. Employees could be found at his door often, but they always knocked, the only people that were able to let themselves in were his siblings, and instantly he knew that his gut had been right. He cursed himself for not checking on them sooner as he made his way out off his office and into the living room where the door was, where he spotted Regan. "Rae, what's wrong? What's going on?" He asked, afraid to hear the answer.

REGAN ST. JAMES

Although she truly did adore her job, Regan was generally stressed and irritated throughout the workday. That may have seemed like the exact opposite of a person who loved their job, but it was what Regan needed to truly thrive. Today, however, she’d been even more irritable than usual. It wasn’t her period, that wasn’t due anytime soon. It was another familiar feeling, one she’d always told herself wasn’t a real thing. There was no such thing as telepathy, triplet or otherwise. Yet, when something was wrong with Roman or even Robin, she always just seemed to know. She wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it, she refused to do that. Instead, she figured she’d stop by her brother’s hotel on the way home from work, make it seem like a casual visit. It wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, anyway, though Regan had a sinking feeling in her stomach as she made her way up to her brother’s suite. She had no idea what she’d expected to walk in and find, but relief washed over her as she came face to face with Roman, and saw that he looked absolutely fine. “Wrong?” She questioned, raising a brow. “Why would anything be wrong?” She paused, eyeing him. “Are you okay?”

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Looking at her he could see pretty clearly that she seemed fine, which only made his mind go to Robin instead. He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to start something that he couldn't finish between his sisters, and instead just nodded at her question. "I'm fine. I've just been working all day." He shrugged, taking his phone out of his pocket to look at it, hoping to see a text from Robin, but slipping it back away when he didn't. "I just thought maybe something was wrong, since you showed up out of nowhere." He lied, but figured Regan wouldn't care. "I just wanted to check."

REGAN ST. JAMES

There was another one in this three-person equation, and of course Regan’s mind went to her, but their relationship was different. She wasn’t going to randomly drop by and see her. “Right. Me too,” she nodded, figuring she might as well hang out for a bit now that she was already here. She liked spending time with her brother, anyway. Setting down her briefcase by the door, she shrugged off her jacket, then made her way over to the couch, making herself comfortable. “I like to drop by every now and then, just to make sure you’re taking care of yourself like the loving sister I am.” She smirked, though her expression fell as she dared herself to ask. “Have you spoken to Robin lately?”

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman nodded at her words, sure there was nothing really wrong, it was just a weird feeling and then a weird coincidence that she'd stopped by. It wasn't that odd for her to stop by, they did generally talk on the phone everyday after all, it wasn't as if they weren't close, there was nothing unusual happening here. He sat down on one of the chairs across from Regan, watching as Herc finally appeared from his office and hopped up on the couch next to Regan to say hello. "I haven't." He admitted, "I mean, not today." He didn't bother to ask if Regan had spoken with her, as he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that. "I was just thinking about calling her, but I can wait a while."

REGAN ST. JAMES

Regan was not an animal lover. Nor was she a baby lover, while on that train of thought. Plants, she could cope with, but anything that required actually taking care of, it just wasn’t her thing. Though, she had admittedly always had a soft spot for her brother’s dog, and she didn’t mind as he hopped up on the couch to greet her. Her hand instinctively settled on his head, with Regan brushing her fingers through his fur. “Oh,” she nodded, wondering how best to tell him he probably should check in with her. By now, it was probably evident to him why she was here, but Regan was appreciative of the fact that he hadn’t called her out. She was intrigued, though, to know if it was just her, and finally decided to bite the bullet. “I’ve had a really weird feeling all day,” she admitted, eyes on her brother. “You know, like something bad is happening, or it’s going to happen. I don’t really know how to explain it. But you know what I’m talking about, right?”

ROMAN ST. JAMES

He watched Regan pet Herc, not sure of what there really was to say. He just felt too wound up to have a casual conversation, so when Regan finally broke through the awkwardness, he sighed. He hated admitting that this was even a thing between the three of them, it seemed so ridiculous, but it really was, because Regan was feeling it, too. He worried about both of his sister's equally, if Regan hadn't been sitting here he would have been worried about them both, but with Robin he had to worry about different things, and he couldn't help but feel nervous about what might be going on. "I do. I feel it, too." Was all he said, his voice actually cracking just a bit. "I'm going to call Robin." He said, knowing that despite their relationship, he needed to call her, and he hoped Regan could understand that. Roman had just pulled his phone out of his pocket when suddenly the door to his place opened again. "Robin." He said, standing from his chair and walking towards her, "What's wrong?"

REGAN ST. JAMES

While her relationship with her sister may have been different to the one she had with her brother, Regan also wasn’t a monster. She didn’t like Robin very much, but she loved her, and she cared about her just as much as she cared about Roman, so she felt her heart sink when he confirmed that he’d been feeling the same way, too. They were both here, they were fine, and that meant that the chances were, something was going on with their sister. If Roman hadn’t suggested calling her, Regan would’ve. As if things weren’t weird enough already, though, with the two of them for some reason knowing something was up, it was like an eery cue that had the door opening and Robin walking in. Regan stayed where she was on the couch, but admittedly tensed up a little. The dog seemed to sense it, and moved himself closer to her with his head in her lap.

ROBIN TAYLOR

Robin wasn’t thinking clearly. Honestly, she hadn’t been thinking clearly all evening, and the way to seek out some semblance of normalcy was to go and cry to her brother. Of course, she hadn’t expected to be greeted by another familiar face as she’d walked in the door, and as her red, puffy eyes fell on their sister, she quickly shook her head. “I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?” She asked, voice a little choked up. As her gaze landed on her brother, Robin instantly felt her eyes beginning to sting with tears, and all she could do was shake her head.

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman had already begun to cross the room towards Robin when she spoke, and he just shook his head, finally reaching her and not so gently grabbing her by the shoulders to pull her into a tight hug. "No, I'm glad you're here." He whispered, he couldn't speak for Regan, but his words were true. He could tell right away that something was wrong, but physically she was okay, and that was a huge sense of relief for the moment. He turned to look at Regan, and seeing Herc settling his head on her lap, he knew that the dog was probably sensing some discomfort from Regan. Luckily, they seemed to be taking up most of the couch, and he was pretty sure Regan wouldn't want to be sitting next to Robin anyways, so he pulled his sister to the other couch and sat her down, his arms still wrapped around her. "What's wrong?" He said, gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "What happened, Birdie?" He began rocking her gently, as if she was a child he wanted to comfort. Truthfully, sometimes when Robin was upset he felt like she was a child, or something as equally small and helpless, really, Birdie was the perfect nickname for her, especially on days like this. Of course, she wasn't helpless, he knew that, but as her big brother, he couldn't help but feel like he needed to protect her.

REGAN ST. JAMES

It was no secret that Regan didn’t particularly like spending time around her sister, and in fact made a point of actively ignoring her most of the time, but in spite of her discomfort, she really was relieved to see her there, to see that she was physically okay. Emotionally seemed to be a different story, and Regan just remained in her place on the couch, watching the interaction between her siblings. Both Roman and Robin had always been much more affectionate people than she was, so she was happy to sit on the sidelines. Although she was keeping to herself, it didn’t seem that Robin had any issues with spilling her feelings.

ROBIN TAYLOR

“I fucked up,” Robin choked out, burying her face in her brother’s shirt as he cradled her. If anyone was ever going to make her feel better, it was Roman, though she had to admit, as awkward as it may have been, she was happy to have her sister there, too. Taking a moment to compose herself, she sat back, though stayed close enough to her brother to feel comforted by his presence. “I think I wrecked my marriage,” she admitted, glancing over at Regan, then back to Roman. “I cheated. I didn’t mean to, but I did, I slept with somebody else, and I cheated and I really hurt Scott. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to make it better.”

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman looked across the coffee table to Regan, trying to read what she was thinking, trying to figure out what to make of what he was hearing. He hated that his first thought was joy at the idea of Robin's marriage being wrecked. He wanted his sister to be happy, and divorce was not a happy thing, but Scott didn't make her happy either, he knew that. "Wait, what?" He asked, pulling away slightly, just to make eye contact with her, and then pulled her back in, "It's okay." He tried to comfort her, glad to know that if this was what had caused those horrible feelings he'd had all day that it wasn't something far worse. And glad to know that they were all together for the moment. "What did Scott say?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm as he mentioned the name.

REGAN ST. JAMES

Regan had never liked her sister’s husband. Honestly, she’d always thought he was kind of a loser, and that despite the fact that Robin was a total loon, even she could do much better. His lifestyle was also not something she liked, not when it was at the expense of her sister’s happiness, but she tended to keep her opinions about him to herself these days. It was harder to as she both saw and heard how Robin was crying about him now, though. “So when he’s screwing another guy, that’s not him cheating on you?” She asked, brows knitting slightly. Regan didn’t want to be too close to her sister, but she could throw in her two cents without worry.

ROBIN TAYLOR

There were varying levels of tact in this family, and where Robin had absolutely none of it, Regan tended to take a more blunt, outspoken approach, while Roman seemed to actually have the right balance. “It’s not the same thing,” she shook her head, glancing over at her sister, then back up at her brother once more. “It’s not. And that’s what he said, he said it’s not the same thing. And he’s right, it’s not. He does this, he’s always done this. I haven’t, I shouldn’t have done it.” Despite any disagreements, Robin couldn’t talk herself out of that mindset even if she’d wanted to, because there was a familiar, unfriendly voice in her ear, telling her what a terrible person she was. “No. No, not again,” she shook her head, hands balling into fists and pressing hard against her ears.

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman shot Regan another look as she spoke, though he couldn't be too annoyed since it was exactly what he had been thinking himself. He looked around, taking one arm away from Robin to point at the bar on the other side of the room near where Regan sat, "Maybe you can make some drinks?" He asked hopefully, before turning his attention back to Robin, just as she began to cry out. Roman grabbed her gently, pulling her hands down from her ears, partly to get her attention and mostly to keep her from hurting herself. "Shhh, look at me, Birdie." He whispered, "Just look at me, listen to me, okay?" He said softly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I know you feel like you did, but you didn't." He said, not taking his eyes off of her as he spoke. "He's right about one thing, it's not the same thing, I mean, he's in another relationship, you slept with someone else, if anyone should feel bad, it's him. And you shouldn't have to feel about that."

REGAN ST. JAMES

It was rare that Regan ever second guessed herself, and she certainly wasn’t about to start now. She’d meant what she’d asked, and she knew Roman was thinking it, too. Who wouldn’t be thinking it? Her brother’s suggestion had her rolling her eyes, and Regan shook her head in response. She wasn’t moving, he wasn’t going to send her away. If she had to shut up for now, she would, but she was staying put. Especially when Robin began to freak out the way she was. An uneasy feeling washed over her, one of both concern for her sister and for herself. The dog laying against her felt like some kind of necessary protection; after all, the last time her sister had heard voices around her, Regan had almost died.

ROBIN TAYLOR

The issue was bigger than just Scott now, because her emotions were so out of whack that Robin was hearing those voices again, the ones that terrified her to her very core. Pressing her hands to her ears wasn’t going to stop them, she needed to focus on something, and Roman evidently knew that. That didn’t keep her from fighting a little bit as he pulled her hands away, though, but she eventually gave in, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at her brother. “Why can’t I just be enough?” She asked, her voice having softened a little the more her tears had begun to flow. “Why can’t it just be me and him, and that be enough for him?”

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman nodded as Regan shook her head, it was a strange position to be in, with them both here. He knew that Regan must be uncomfortable, nervous even, and he so badly wanted to go to the couch she was on and hug her as well, but the fear of Robin doing something to hurt herself was at the forefront of his mind, and at least Herc seemed to be doing a pretty good job of keeping guard of Regan, and he just hoped that that was enough to make her feel safe. His heart sank at Robin's words, and while he was glad that she was focusing on him now, he didn't know how to respond to that. He frowned slightly, pulling her back against his chest and rocking her again. "You are more than enough." He said, shaking his head, "It's not you. It's him that's the problem. I know you don't think so, and I know you don't see it that way, but it's true. He's just..." He trailed off, trying to find the right words, "He's just an asshole, and you deserve so much better than that. You deserve to be treated better than the way he treats you, it's him who isn't enough for you."

ROBIN TAYLOR

“But I’m not,” Robin protested, the volume of her voice softening to something of a whisper. A strained, sad one. It was almost like she was afraid that if she spoke any louder, someone else would hear; those unfamiliar guests that had stopped whispering in her ear for now, she didn’t want them to come back. “If I was, he wouldn’t need Charlie. He wouldn’t need anybody else.” Normally, she hated when anybody had a bad word to say about Scott, but she couldn’t even bring herself to get mad as her brother and sister chimed in unison that ‘he’s just an asshole’. Robin’s eyes closed as she settled against her brother’s chest, too drained to keep fighting their views, and she simply nodded her head.

ROMAN ST. JAMES

"He needs Charlie because of something that has to do with him, it's not about you. It's not about you not being enough. It's about how he can't be satisfied. He's probably not happy with himself, so nothing and no one will ever make him happy." He said, trying to get through to his sister, "It's not you, and you haven't done anything wrong, and you are enough." He whispered. He looked at Regan, a sad look in his eye as he tried to figure out what else there was to say. "Why don't you sleep over here," He said offered to Robin, "I want to keep an eye on you." He looked at Regan again, "You're welcome to stay, too, you know."

REGAN ST. JAMES

Robin wasn’t responding, it was like she’d either given up or randomly fallen asleep against Roman, though Regan was pretty sure the latter wasn’t the case. She could still hear her quietly sniffling, still see her shoulders moving. Evidently, she’d given up the fight, or rather the defense for her husband, and something about that made Regan feel almost proud. Her gaze met Roman’s and she let out a soft sigh. “He has a lot of insecurities, Robin. They’re not your fault, it’s just the way he is. You’re worth more than that.” There may have been a certain amount of dislike as far as her sister went, but she was still her sister, Regan still wanted her to confidently know her worth. She could make out Robin nodding her head in response to Roman’s suggestion, and Regan simply shrugged when he extended the offer to her, though she’d decided already that she wouldn’t be going anywhere, anyway.

ROMAN ST. JAMES

Roman was pretty certain this conversation would go any further, though he was glad to hear Regan giving Robin some words of encouragement. He let out a sigh of relief when Robin nodded her head, glad she wasn't going to fight him on that. He wrapped an arm under her knees and stood from the couch, keeping Robin in his arms and carried her to the guest bedroom. Roman placed her under the blanket, and then placed another kiss to the top of her head, "Stay here, I'll be right back," He whispered, and left the room, stopping to grab some sheets from a closet and moving back to the living room. He set them up on the couch where he'd just been sitting with Robin and turned to Regan. "You can take my bed, I'll sleep out here. My bedroom door has a lock on it," He said, moving towards her and pulling her into a hug, not really caring if she wanted one or not. "I'm going to go sit with Robin until she falls asleep. Are you good?"

REGAN ST. JAMES

To anybody on the outside looking in, this whole scene would’ve looked incredibly dramatic, what with Roman carrying Robin as she sniffled in his arms, but outsiders wouldn’t know the whole story. They wouldn’t have seen what their sister’s illness did to her, they wouldn’t have known the reason she was keeping to herself right now, not like Regan and Roman did. Regan may not have been her biggest fan, but she understood what her sister had to deal with, and God, she freaking hated that for her. Already, she’d decided she wasn’t going to be moving, so Roman’s instructions didn’t matter, though she nodded her head anyway, glancing down at the dog who had stretched out against her. She was deep in thought as her brother emerged from the guest room, and as much as she may have acted like she didn’t want the hug, she accepted it all too willingly, holding onto him a moment longer than one would invest in a hug they didn’t want. “I’m good. Go make sure she’s okay,” she whispered softly, pressing a small kiss to her brother’s cheek. Regan would take the bed and the dog for the night, the lock making her feel safer, but she wanted to be here in the morning. Even if it was just to sit on the sidelines like she had tonight, she needed her siblings to know she was here for them, too.

#regan st. james.#robin st. james.#regan x roman.#robin x roman.#regan x robin.#robin x regan.#st. triplets x one.

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justowrite · 7 years

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New Surroundings

lenght: 2183words

genre: light angst(and exposition)

summary: Simon, with a bare understanding of the world he has thrown himself into, has to adapt to it and the only two things keeping him from getting completely and utterly lost are the fire of excitement in his chest and well...Penny.

a/n: straight out from a writers block(still not completly out of it), and mostly because i forgot carry on’s birthday(i am awful), the second chapter of this medieval au thing i am trying to do. i wasn’t planning to publish this until a more reasonable of the day but te birthday thing happened so...here we are. Okay so i’m really sorry if there are any mistakes, i tried to correct all of them, but english isn’t my first language.

Anyway without any more further due, thank you for reading and happy birthday to Carry On(here is my two hours late gift)!

Chapter One / Ao3

***

He couldn’t do anything but stare to the room. It had two beds, some furniture to keep some belongings on opposite sides and a big window in between the halves. He thought he would be with Penny, but apparently, it wasn’t allowed. He had to share a room with another boy, which to Simon was the most terrifying thing of all this experience. Leaving the forest was something he never thought of doing, the possibility never even passed his head. Simon didn’t know if he even wanted to. It was too late now. He had left the forest and everything he ever knew. Well, everything but Penny; they’ll be closer now. The Mage had concluded that Simon would be better under his care, training in the castle with the knights and witches of the kingdom.

Although he liked the Mage, he had been kind and patient while Simon was scared.

“It’s okay boy, I mean no harm.” His voice was soft, still Simon in bed and wounded didn’t dare to trust him. “I only come to make a proposal to you, in any case, you can ask me to leave anytime you wish.” Penny took Simon’s hand, in an attempt to reassure him.

He had come to see Simon, to offer him the opportunity to study, to have a house, to be treated like a person. Simon had only accepted because Penny was there too.

Simon realized -once it was time to organize his things in the new room- he didn’t have much or nothing at all really. All he had was what he used to sleep and eat, nothing personal really; just a couple of old pants and shirts Penny had enchanted so they would disappear when he was a dragon and reappeared, so he wasn’t completely naked every time he turned back. The Mage had told him he would get new clothing since he was going to be around people a lot and couldn’t use the same old cloth.

He lay down on the bed, eyes closed. It was softer than the one he had in the cave, colder too. It smelled different; here it smelled to dust, old as if it was never used. Instead like the one back in the cave, which smelled to leaves, fresh air, and burned fabric. Unable to shake the feeling, he stood up. Simon got close to the window. The room was in one of the towers of the castle, isolated from the rest. It was the last room available. Simon couldn’t complain though, it was beautiful a sight. The sun was ready to set. The sky painted in red, clear from clouds and open almost calling for Simon.

Suddenly Simon was jumping from the window.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath in. Once he exhales and opens his eyes, a loud roar accompanied the impotent presence in the sky.

As Simon flew he realized how big the castle was. It wasn’t hard to see him in the sky, still, he was high enough nobody would hear the sound of his wings, which made easy to observe the people talking, walking, even -as Simon was unfortunate enough to watch- making out in hidden spots. It was more people Simon had ever seen or more people he was comfortable seeing.

Finally, he saw Penny sitting in a tree away from the rest. Simon rushed back to his human form, Penny had already recognized him and was waiting for him anyway.

As they started walking in the village Simon stopped listening to Penny instead he was looking around. The town seemed to match the falling sun in the sky, it was showered in orange and brown’s shadows. In the air, it was easy to breathe the magic, different from the one in the forest. Back in the forest, there was only the aura of the creatures, since most magical creatures only own the magic not control it; here there weren’t different magic to control but hundreds of different auras. Most people wouldn’t sense it, there were used to it by now, but Simon had only met one person. All of this was almost too much for him. Finally, the market was in the center of the town, the little stalls were on both sides of a long street that ended in, what Penny called, the Heart Fountain.

Simon walked self-conscious, sure someone would notice his wings and tail even when Penny had enchanted them for the afternoon. They walked through the streets, Simon first jumping at the promotions yells for cheap products. Slowly his fear was a small buzz in the back of his neck, still alarmed but more amused by the magical objects flying over him and the voices talking things he didn’t understand. He filled Penny with questions.

Penny was happy to see Simon so excited, instead of scared. Penny was happy to have his best friend with her.

They reached the end of the street where there was the last stand.

“My mother doesn’t like to come here, but I like it. It’s better than going to Wings and Crowns,” Penny rolled her eyes at the memory of so much glitter before walking to the stall. Simon couldn’t see anyone or anything really. There was only clothing hanging from the ceiling. Simon was about to say something when Penny knocked the wood with the ring. The clothing moved aggressively to the back of the stall. Inside there was someone young on carrying a mountain of things.

“Need help, Rae?” Penny offered

The person looked at Penny, “Thanks, sweetheart but I think I can manage.” They turned completely around, letting go one hand so only the other one was holding the giant mountain of cloth. “What a pleasure to have you here, honey! What brings you here today?” Finally, they leave the cloth in a corner with a more ridiculous sized mountain.

“I was looking for cloth for my friend, you see…” Penny stared explain, leaning her weight on the counter.

They took a moment to stare at Simon, “I can see where the wings and tail could be a problem.” Simon jumped in surprised. “Don’t worry honey, only I can see it here.”

“Spacial Magic, they can see and modify things around them.” Penny explains, “Like making lighter a mountain of clothes, or seeing things others can’t.”

“A water down a couple generations version, I am not that strong; not like your friend here. I can feel his magic.” Rae smiled and took a step forward while sparkles of interest shine in their eyes.

Simon turned to Penny, almost scared. “So clothes…” Simon reminded her.

Immediately Rae’s face changed to what it was before, more playful than slightly scary. “I am sure I’ve just the things for you.”

***

Simon was told that outfits should fit your magic. Which is why Rae was due to make, she could be recognized someone’s magic, unlike anyone.

Penny, as an example, was dressed in a dark long sleeve purple dress with what it seems a brown smaller sleeveless dress on top, and around her hips, it hanged a belt where she kept magical objects and she wore a black lazed cape that reached her boots. While the belt was obviously useful, the cape was Rae was most proud of. It was made especially to increase any charm when activated with magic words. But it would only work in that scene, if a fire mage wore that object it would burn in an instant with the mage in it.

Simon looked down to his new outfit. First, he had black boots, dark brown pants with a hell lot of pockets, a lighter brown jacket –which he had rolled the sleeves because with all of this it was getting hot. On top of all that he had a shoulder pad on his right shoulder, with gold metal pieces that looked like his own scales, hanging from it going across his chest a belt that combined with Penny’s. This was to make his cloth disappeared and reappeared when necessary and to help Simon to control his magic since he was new to the whole magic deal. Although like Penny he had more than one magic clothing item, it even was jewelry. From his neck it hangs a gold chain with a small blue gem that matched his eyes, to keep his wings and tails hidden, not even corporeal. Which was a weird feeling to Simon, it was a part of him just not existing even if he had the power of making appear.

“And this…this was something someone gave me a long time ago…long before you were alive.” Rae had a nostalgic look on her face, as she gave it to Simon. “Someone with your eyes actually.”

“Simon!” Penny yelled as she stopped Simon with her arm. Simon almost throwing the bag full of new cloth off his should, focused back on what was around him. Simon realized he had been almost hit by a horse. The horse had stopped just before, and Penny stopped Simon. Simon looked up to apologize but was stopped by three things.

One; the overwhelming aura he knew that wasn’t from a human.

Two; by the disgusted looked in those eyes.

Three; even when the mask of the armor he was wearing hid most of the person’s face, Simon had seen those deep grey eyes before. At night. Drinking blood from another animal.

“Monster.” Simon murmured. Simon saw the surprise, the anger in the person's eyes before he run off with a group of more men behind. “Who were they?” They continued walking.

“The knights, probably doing a nightly checkup.” Penny explained. “They are trained to be part of the royal guard, or part of the Mage’s Man one day. Not all of them do, but that is the purpose.” Penny rolled her eyes. “Only men are chosen, but anyone can take the curses. It is a really idiotic.”

***

Finally, Simon was back at his new room. He put the new things in their place and left the old ones just in a cornered, Simon stared at them for a little bit before getting to his bed. Something inside was yelling and jumping excitedly. Almost a childish old desire he once had, to have a life like this. Even before he met Penny and had any understanding of the world in those dark nights when he was a child. He would dream that his mom and dad would pick him up and take him to a big house with all the food he could think off, and all the toys he would have seen from afar from the kids playing close to the forest.

A loud noise interrupted his thoughts. He sat up, to look at the person in the room. Both of them froze, staring into each other eyes. Simon could see his face perfectly now the mask was in his arm instead. He looked daring and fierce in the armor, his long black hair framing his features elegantly, the light of the moon creating shadows on his pale skin. Of course, his dark grey eyes were looking down Simon, it made him feel small under the new presence. Still, Simon stood up and talk.

“Y-you” Simon took a step towards. “I’ve seen you in the forest, you don’t…you are a…you are a..a..” Simon didn’t know how to say it, what were the right words.

“Are you sure you know how to talk or no one ever taught you back in the forest?” Simon stood back in shock and tried to talk back but again the words just wouldn’t come out correctly; the other boy gave him a smirk in response. “Well, I can see the success the Mage’s little project is going to be.” Simon stayed quiet, not knowing what to respond. “I don’t know what you pretend are you doing here but you are nothing to accuse me of nothing. Not when you can’t even get one sentence across.” Now he was starting to get angry.

“Y-you haven’t even met for five minutes, how can you…?” Once the boy was, once again, fast to answer.

“Says the one who called me a monster without even seen my face.” The boy stood tall and proud, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve seen you!” Simon was getting really angry, “You…I…I am not lying.” Simon finally said.

“Well me neither.” The boy was taller than Simon, for a few inches at least. “Did the Mage a least gave you a pet name?”

Simon clenched his hands into fists, his nails leaving mark on his palms. “I already had one.”

“A pet name? Oh, I am glad someone took the time.” Simon’s name was a note, attached to his cloth as the kid and then he kept on his bed until Penny found him but he wouldn’t tell the boy that. “ So what is it? Sparkles?” The boy laughed before turning around and leaving to the change to other room.

“It’s Simon Snow!” He yelled once the boy had already closed the door.

#carry on fanfiction #carry on simon #snowbaz fanfiction #Penelope Bunce #simon snow #baz pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #snowbaz #i'll reblog this in the morning

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chellyfishing · 7 years

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ok i finished kona so as promised my lil* post on walking simulators i’ve played. (*it’s not lil.)

first things first: a lot of these give off a creepy vibe because it involves you investigating a deserted place piecing together What Happened. i don’t personally consider them scary, as such, but i guess some people might? with minimal spoilers, i can say that unless noted there are no jump scares or battles and you can’t get a game over at any point. none of these except flower and maybe gone home are exactly the cheeriest of games, they’re not total downers and you can take away a lot from each of them, but there’s almost always death involved. also these are all short games, many can easily be completed in a few hours, some you might want to spread out over a couple days.

i’m a little hesitant to put gone home on here bc i haven’t actually played it myself, but i did watch a full LP. i don’t think it’s a spoiler at this point to say that there was a bit of a bait-and-switch with advertising and it’s not a horror game. it is actually a very sweet, heartfelt coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who left behind notes for her visiting sister. while this might be a bit of a spoiler, i saw a review that called it “a lesbian scavenger hunt,” which i think is pm all anybody needs to know to decide to play it.

the vanishing of ethan carter is the first one i played and probably still my favorite. i played through it possibly half a dozen times that first week, and it’s not necessarily that sort of game. at the risk of overselling here, i can’t tell you how much this had an effect on me. you play a detective who’s come to a small seemingly deserted town at the behest of a young boy (ethan). what follows are a series of visions, stories, and light puzzle-solving to get to the bottom of what happened to ethan carter. as the story unfolds things get pretty disturbing and there is some blood (stain variety, not gushing). there’s nothing that would, i think, rate more than a PG-13 though. i could go in-depth but just play it okay.

dear esther is credited with being the first walking simulator. you can hear about its humble beginnings as a mod for some other game i forget by listening to the audio commentary, which you have to do for one of the trophies. dear esther is, the most out of these, not what it appears. it’s almost more of a poem than a story, and there is a lot left abstract and open-ended; death of the author is encouraged. it’s probably got the slowest start, but i like the peacefulness of it. it has a sequence that is the most beautiful and transformative thing which then leads up to the climax, and by then you are definitely in a different game than you started. no puzzle-solving, you don’t pick up or interact with any items, no keys or secret passages to suss out. you just walk and look and listen. definitely melancholy, but then, the whole thing is what you make of it. also apparently there are loads are little background details that can change randomly each time you play it, if you’re into that.

firewatch is another one that seems creepy, but (i’m sorry to spoil, i just want people to be okay when they play!!) i promise you, if you can handle some sadness and bittersweetness, you’ll be fine. this game is a little treasure. i saw someone complain about the graphics and i like??? couldn’t disagree more? i mean first of all what do you expect but second all it’s got more of a painted feel to it than a hundred laboriously-created computer models. there are some views and areas that are just beyond lovely. anyway you play as henry, who’s come to sit alone in a tower in the middle of the wilderness for summer 1989? to watch for fires. henry’s a bit snarky and sad and would probably be played by paul giamatti. the other man character is his boss, delilah. the rapport the two develop is probably the high point of the game tbh. their banter is topnotch. while firewatch seems a little overwhelming in scope but it’s actually not. there’s not much gained by extraneously exploring but you’re welcome to it if you want. it’s mostly just a lot of walking with very easily navigable roads and rappelling and such while around you all this weird shit starts happening. henry and delilah discuss what it all means and what to do about it. all questions are answered by the end, except for the ones any good story leaves open for you to decide.

beyond eyes... i don’t quite want to say that i wished i never paid for or touched this game, because my reasons for my violent rejection of it are very personal. so, here it is neutrally. it seems like a colorful, peaceful game about a blind girl, rae, looking for her lost cat, nani. the catch is that rae is blind, and so you have to sort of “fill out” the world by walking around (laboriously slowly, bring patience). it really is lovely, kind of painterly-feeling with so many vibrant colors, and i was very pleased with it for a long while. and again, i don’t want to spoil it, but the ending caught me so off-guard, threw me for such a loop, and triggered me so unexpectedly that i immediately turned it off and deleted it from my system. suffice it to say the tone is a bit different from the rest of the game. so, i won’t tell anyone not to check it out. it is pretty and simple and it seems like the kind of game people might want to support financially. just... not me. it made me disproportionately angry and upset and ruined my day. if someone has played or does end up doing so, my reaction might seem a little extreme, but it was one of those things that struck hard without any warning and it was just not what i needed at the time.

i tried to wait for what remains of edith finch to go on sale and i failed. while i’m not convinced it has $20 worth of content (it’s possibly even shorter than dear esther but i’d have to check), it’s also gorgeous, so i guess we all make sacrifices. anyway i’m still sort of processing my feelings for this game. most of it is completely genius. it’s about a girl, edith, who’s returning to her family home for the first time in years. she’s the last finch left alive; they have a habit of dying young, most not even making it to adulthood. you find out the story of each finch and each is interactive in a different way, one you’re different animals, another it’s in the format of a comic book, it’s all really neat how it’s done. anyway, obviously this game talks about death a lot but never shows it; in fact, some of the sequences are so abstract you have to interpret them yourselves to decide what even happened. my main continuing reservation is... i don’t know what it’s trying to say. i don’t know what it’s all supposed to mean. i mean maybe it’s some crap about the value of life no matter how short or idk, but for the most part at the end i was kinda like, “ok.” i keep thinking i must be missing something, but i’ve no idea what. it’s kind of just a collection of interesting stories whose only discernible thread is they all happened to the same unfortunate family for some reason. it’s the kind of “open to interpretation” that makes me feel like something is lacking. anyway i still loved it and do recommend.

kona. oh kona. let me start off by saying you can die in this one. they’re not that ubiquitous but there are creatures that can and will kill you, and sometimes they might startle you as well, and of course there’s the cold, which can also kill you. i kept getting pissed off at that fucking inventory because it was JUST BARELY too small and you never knew when you were going to need something. now that i actually do know it’ll probably be waaay less infuriating. there’s also a final boss, but the “fight” is basically you going “jesus christ it’s a lion get in the car.” it’s very intense, but i wouldn’t really call it scary. you don’t even have to do anything offensive at all to win, just run like hell. a couple more words about the gameplay: i mentioned the better coat. you actually can find the components you need for that early on and possibly go straight and get it? like i’m not sure if the game lets you but if it does, it makes exploration SO much easier. you still have to be careful but like. type b careful rather than type a. anyway it’s pretty much a must. um, you probably want to take your car for the sake of convenience, and also you can get a snowmobile later! there are a number of little achievements to earn, some of which make this game a lot more involved than any other on this list. like, it’s a very big area with poor visibility and you’re looking for very very small things WITH A CHEAP-ASS SWEATER CARL. anyway, as for what it’s actually about: you’re a detective again, come to québec in 1970 to find some seriously fucked up shit. this game isn’t really horror, it’s mostly just what the hell is going on this is so fucking bizarre. there narrative has a lot of stuff about colonialism and racism and a lot of Cree culture and lore driving it. it was funded by kickstarter btw. so yeah, a little too game-y, most intense and involved of the bunch, unsettled even me at times, but not meant to invoke terror or keep you up at night, only make you think about the circumstances that created this event.

flower is your friend. i’ve only played a little bit of it but honestly that’s all you need. you can just go back and do that bit as many times as you want cause this is a game that’s all about being a petal on the wind. it’s cute, it’s playful, both the score and visuals are charming and lovely. this is the game you play after running for your life in kona. recommended to have in your library if for no other reason than to know it’s always there when you need something simple and beautiful and andy dwyer is unavailable.

#deep thoughts

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allanablaireduncan · 7 years

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My Spirit Animals

Solange speaks to me on so many levels. In 2002, she and my childhood “bae” Lil Romeo released “True Love,” a song describing a “puppy love” relationship between two young teenagers. That song was extremely deep and beautiful to my then 10 year-old ears. The next song I remember loving from her was ‘Feelin You’ ft. N.O.R.E. I loved how relaxed her voice sounded and in the video, she appeared so effortlessly beautiful and cool. My next memory of Solange was her brief cameo in the “Soldier” video with her older sister Bey, and Destiny Child’s members Kelly & Michelle. I remember her looking about 9 months pregnant with her son Daniel, posing with who I then assumed was her boyfriend (I now know the two were married). I remember thinking “OH MY GOSH, SHE’S PREGNANT!” It seemed unreal because I’d always envisioned her as my age and as Beyonce’s little sis, and so if Beyonce didn’t have children yet, how could her little sister!? *rolls eyes*

I think the world tried to forget Solange, especially as her sister began to gain fame and notoriety after launching her solo career; but Solange’s effervescent light refused to be dimmed. I for one never forgot about her. I also remember the world, in its cruel yet usual fashion, assuming that a certain rivalry existed between Solange and her older sis, assuming that because Beyonce was considered “the hottest in the game,” that their wasn’t a place for Solo. LOL. Instead of entertaining such b.s., Solange stood by her sisters’ side, even naming Beyonce as someone she looked up to.

What I love most about Solange is that she stays in her lane and remains true to herself. Her confidence, pride and effortless style exhibited in everything she does. I also get a sense that Solange took her time to find and understand her true purpose, it evident in the unshaken and calm nature in which she delivers speeches, performs and carries herself. Although her older sister creates music for woman in general, Solange caters to a different type, a much more complex type of woman. I also appreciate Solange’s consistent natural look; a look I personally prefer for myself. Solange’s love for art and fashion are consistently apparent in her wardrobe selection, her music and also in the visuals that accompany it. Recently, Solange performed at the NYC Guggenheim Museum, a moving performing based off of her Grammy-winning album A Seat at The Table.’

Issa Rae

Issa Rae is everyone’s favorite right now because she’s extremely popping thanks to her amazing television show ‘Insecure.’ The show, which airs on HBO, is gold because everything about it is unapologetic. I love how liberated the characters are and Issa incorporates ‘for the culture’ shit in each episode, whether it be via her choice in controversial graphic tee or how she slays a different natural hairstyle in every scene.

Before the success of Insecure, Issa published a book entitled ‘The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl,’ which eventually became a New York Times Bestseller. But even before that, Issa produced a Youtube series entitled ‘Awkward Black Girl’ that my best friend and I would faithfully watch every week during our undergrad years. The series was hilarious and it spoke to me because I could definitely relate to Issa’s character; even before being awkward and not fitting in became trendy. *rolls eyes yet again*

Despite the fame and recognition Issa receives, her true self always shines through and I absolutely love that about her. It is not common for a person who is suddenly put into the spotlight to display certain character changes, and for a year or so, this is what I have been dreadfully expecting from Issa. But as she encounters recognition for her achievements from greats like Beyonce (who called her pretty) and accepts outstanding awards like the ‘Star Power’ award from Black Girls Rock, Issa continues to be Issa. She encourages black girls who do not fit into the realms of society or feel different to be themselves, despite what anyone else says.

It seems that the new “wave” in our society is all about embracing what makes us different, which is great, but there’s no telling how long it will last. With role models like Issa, however, us girls who truly know what it feels like to be different and dwell in environments that make us feel like outcasts truly have an icon to look up to.

My favorite quote derived from the Bible is “dwell in the World, but not be of it.” For me, this quote reminds me that no matter what is going on around me, I am an individual who does not have to conform to the standards of world. I can be an active participant in society without compromising my morals, beliefs, and going against my true self.

Nina Parker

The first time I saw Nina Parker was at an album release party I was working out here in LA. Though I had only been living out here for a few months, I was already overwhelmed with how common it was to see celebrities just hanging around, yet underwhelmed with some of the attitudes and antics of a few of them. As I ran after the publicist with whom I was interning with all over the party like a mad woman, I finally settled outside near the entrance with a guest list awaiting more arrivals. Though the list was star packed, I understood that 1. most people who RSVP for parties in LA never showed and 2. there was only one person on the list who I wanted to get close to : Nina Parker.

My admiration with Nina began during my college days on the East Coast. I studied journalism and as graduation approached, I began to panic. I knew I wanted to write, but I also knew that I did not want to work for a traditional news outlet. I was all over the place until my mother, a TMZ fanatic, told me about Ms. Parker. I was immediately impressed by her because her image did not fit those of the typical TV personalities at the time. I also liked Nina because she had an infectious smile and she spoke concisely and confidently, and I could just tell she was a down-to-Earth type girl. Plus, her eyebrows were ‘fleeked’ before that even became a thing.

As I waited for more guests to arrive at the album release party which was hosted at 1 Oak, I saw Nina approaching and boy did I get hype. At first, I felt shy, but Nina’s presence made me feel unexpectedly at ease. As she approached, I was already assigned a group of folks to escort back to their section, however before taking off I had to greet Nina. When I opened my mouth, a surprising yet enthusiastic “Hey Nina, girl!” escaped. Now, had this been any other celebrity with her girlfriends, (Nina was with 2 or more other girls) I would have surely played myself. Let’s be real: the attention would have been accepted, yet the response would have surely been shady once they realized they didn’t know me from a can of paint. I can’t say I was completely surprised when Nina looked dead at me and said “hey girl, how you doing?!” Chile, at that point you couldn't tell me that wasn’t my play cousin. That simple gesture made my entire night and unknowing to her, she made an everlasting impression on me. I called my mother that night and I

I’ve probably seen Nina out around LA about two other times and I always speak to her like I know her and she’s never let me down. As I observe Nina’s growth in the industry, I feel inspired because like her, I’ve experienced times in my life where I felt I was not living up to my full potential and needed a push (Nina’s came from within with help from her mama, according to an interview). Eventually, Nina made the right moves which led her to securing jobs at Vh1, The Insider and Access Hollywood Live in addition to TMZ. Sometimes self-realization and a push from yo mama is all it takes.

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