#raavenb2619

[dusana-thewitch]

Got it done in time to post it during pride month 🎉

Inspired by a post made by @raavenb2619 a while back.

[zemathememequeen]

Part 2 of Be a girl, my transgender gender bender story, is live! And we have a new character! Jaxon: the big friendly giant, the punmeister, the absolutely sweetie pie. I love Jaxon so much. Very special thanks to @raavenb2619 for helping me edit part 2. They did a fantastic job. They now consider my OCs to be their blorbos and honestly that feels like such a huge honour.

I hope you enjoy reading part 2 as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really do feel like this part is a massive step up from part 1. Anyway, enjoy!

[aroshitbcitstheshit]

username song game / rules: but a song for every letter of your username

A Angry Woman by ASHE

R Rät by Penelope Scott

O Ode To My Family by The Cranberries

S SOS by Maëlle

H Hungry Eyes by Merle Haggard & The Strangers

I idon'twannaveyouanymore by Billie Eilish

T The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot

B Born Bold by Valley of Wolves

C Cookie Cutter by Ivory Lane

I I'm Born to Run by American Authors

T Tough (feat. Noah Kahan) by Quinn XCII

S Story of a Boy by JORDY

T THAT'S WHAT I WANT by Lil Nas X

H Honeybee by The Head and the Heart

E Enough by grandson

S Strawberry by Andrew Montana

H House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance

I I DON'T EVEN LIKE U by Royal & the Spent

T Teen Idle by MARINA

<tags: @acejokes @arohumor @aroace-people-are-lgtbq @aroaceconfessions @aroacepagans @aro-aceplace @actuallyasexual @acephobia-is-real @ace-thinks @ace-and-aro-support-group @bloggingboutburgers @cakes-and-rings @cake-for-ace @fuckyeahasexual @growinguparo @life-of-an-asexual @perksofbeingace @qprstories @qprconcepts @raavenb2619 @thehumorousace @zemathememequeen>

[out-of-context-aro-ace]

I posted 1,041 times in 2022

That's 653 more posts than 2021!

25 posts created (2%)

1,016 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dimanchea

@raavenb2619

@thefrogginbullfish

@desiaroace

I tagged 170 of my posts in 2022

#aroace - 39 posts

#aromantic - 36 posts

#out of context aroace - 33 posts

#heroes and villains - 31 posts

#asexual - 29 posts

#acearo - 21 posts

#aro - 20 posts

#aro memes - 19 posts

#ace - 18 posts

#ace memes - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#but i do think that joy is the answer to what makes life worth living. because joy can look different for everyone

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

142 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

#4

204 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#3

Ace and aro, not straight and narrow

228 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#2

Being aroace means the "love of my life" will only ever be food or some other inanimate object.

231 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Me talking to my friend: Purple's also a common villain color - along with green and black :) 💜💚🖤

Me:... wait...

476 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Hahaha, the villain one ofc XD

But Fred and The Office one are gems!

[folded-boats]

@raavenb2619 you could make a limerick out of this

uh oh this pronunciation of polycules is gonna stick in my head for a long while

[zemathememequeen]

I am suddenly struck by how many people have admitted to me that they've been inspired by me. Sure, it hasn't been many, but it really is just wild to me every time it happens.

My friend just started up writing because of me, going so far as writing a spin off of my own work which is just 🥺🥺

@raavenb2619 recently admitted that they started making memes because of me too. And of course, now we're friends. But we didn't know each other back then, and we were mutuals who never directly interacted for years.

Not to mention all the people who have told me they started roller beetle racing in guild wars 2 because of my youtube videos.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just being emotional. But it's nice to know I've made an impact on people's lives. Complete strangers have been inspired by me! I never even intended it! That's actually wild to me.

[demi-romantics]

Hey @raavenb2619​ you are truly famous. You are appearing on my facebook feed!!

[gendercensus]

skuert replied to this post to say:

okay but like- why did you write age is just a number???

Because I concluded that while there were one or two differences, over-30s and under-30s were more similar than we were different!

~

raavenb2619 replied to say:

For the new checkbox layout, you could also consider more columns (ie making it wider so it can be shorter), as well as letting someone type in an exact term and hit enter to autocheck it (ie letting someone type “demigender” and hit enter instead of forcing them to use the mouse)

Good idea! Hopefully that would be intuitive, and it would rely on the person knowing that the word they’ve typed is in the list, the word being spelled correctly, etc.

[folded-boats]

@raavenb2619​

Someone: hey can you give me some relationship advice?

Me who's aroace: Communicate.

Someone: I tried but it didn't-

Me: break up.

[saltyaro]

raavenb2619 a réagi à votre billet “I sometimes wonder how me being aro influences my lack of desire to...”

I’ve also never understood the desire for _biological_ kids over adoption, but I think my not-wanting-kids is more of a...pragmatic thing? At least for me? I don’t particularly enjoy small children and raising children is a big time sink, so it seems like the people who actually really want to raise kids should be parents instead

Yeah, definitely makes sense. My general opinion is that one doesn’t need an actual reason not to want kids, but rather, that you do need reasons to want one/some. Given it’s such a huge commitment and responsibility. 

[nonbinaryresource]

Do you have any advice for finding gender neutral formal clothing? I'm amab, but a lot of the resources I could find online were for afab people wanting to look vaguely masc, which doesn't really help me. I'm aiming for a more androgynous or slightly femme look.

Hi, friend! Sorry this has sat in the inbox for so long! I’ve been really mulling this over because, tbh, fashion and clothes are definitely a weak spot for me. >_

So I’m not positive where to begin on your question, so I’m just going to briefly go over everything I could think of.

1. Have an idea of how you want to look/present.

Before you even look at any clothes: Are you going to prefer to tuck and/or stuff? Or are you going to prefer to present just as you are?

Formal wear is expensive, especially if you want to go all the way for well-fitting clothes and get them fitted. (Fitted clothes always fit best, even casual wear, so getting your clothes tailored for formal wear is definitely something to strongly consider.) So you’re going to want to decide early on how you’re going to present so that you can search for the best style and fit of clothes for that before you throw money at clothes. Eventually, you may want to have an option or two for various options to present but focus first on what your preference is going to be. Altering your body by tucking/stuffing/etc., though will change how you want clothes to fit and what sort of cuts are going to look best on your body, so it’s important to think about and decide beforehand.

What looks androgynous or slightly femme for you?

There’s honestly a lot of ways that you can look androgynous and everybody is going to have a different idea of what slightly femme looks like for them. So image searching through different looks is a good way to get an idea of what sort of look you want to go for (and if that means you’re definitely going to have to go specialty shopping and get fitted or even if it’s a look you can pull by shopping different departments in different stores). You can also go window shopping/browsing to get an idea of what looks are in right now and therefore will be most widely available. Especially if you’re going to get something altered in a big way (rather than just fit to your size), it’ll help to have pictures to show what you’re looking for. You may decide to try and go more bold or simply use small ways to spruce up a style to make it your own.

For example, here’s some stuff I found by searching various things like “androgynous formal wear” and looking back through red carpet looks that may inspire you.Suit top/skirt bottom combo / Suit dress (right) / ¾ suit / Crop suit / Ballroom sleeve suit / Skirts and suits / Sequins tux / Colors! Patterns! Accessories! / Neutral pant suit / Neutral dress / Bold pattern dress

Because of how binary society is, how you present may impact how androgynous or femme a look may appear to you/others. For example, take JVN in this sheer dress. That’s a clearly feminine look from the high heeled boots to the sheer top to the skirt. Yet JVN is rocking his luscious ‘stache, which impacts how we may perceive the look. So even something like your facial hair and/or your haircut may impact how far you can push a feminine look and still spin it as androgynous.

Once you have an idea of some styles you like, it may be easier to go out and search for clothes and see how they may work if altered or even just find something you like outright.

2. Don’t be afraid of colors and accessories!

Something we tend to do to try and neutralize a look is draw from both masculine and feminine styles. You don’t see a lot of men in suits wearing jewelry or similar accessories, so this can be a fun and easy way for you to totally change up the attitude of a look. Earrings, necklaces, scarves, belts, bracelets, broaches, hairpins, nail polish, and makeup are all cheaper ways you can play around with a look! Especially if you go for a suit or a very plain, straight stress. The accessories can make the outfit more playfully androgynous or slightly feminine. Shoes as well. And I don’t even mean high heels. Look at these flat-ish shoes. Colors and jewels can spruce up shoes and help define your look, especially if you dress in otherwise neutral colored clothes.

Speaking of, even colors are gendered, so playing around with colors can help you make a look your own. For example, if you decide to go with a suit, we typically only see black and white, so going for a colorful suit and throwing in a pattern or special texture (like the sequin tux linked above) can change how the suit is perceived and make it more androgynous than masculine. Similarly, if you go for it in a dress or skirt, choosing neutral colors (black, white, beige) can help tone down the femininity of the outfit.

3. Be prepared to spend money.

Okay, this one is just a general tip, but always a good reminder for formal clothes. Now that you’ve got an idea of what you’re looking for and are starting to shop around, be prepared to spend some money. It’s likely you’re going to want to get something altered, even if just to get the fit just right. Since fit can be incredibly important to pulling off the look, be prepared to spend some money. Good news is, the clothes should last you a while unless you massively change body size.

If you’re still unsure of what look you’re trying to go for or really don’t have the money for it, spend some time browsing thrift stores like I’ve done. You can find some good stuff there sometimes and you can always get it fitted later for a smoother look.

4. Don’t restrict yourself to just one section!

Don’t get stuck in thinking you HAVE to shop from just one section of a store, whether you’re looking in person or online. Maybe you’ll find the best fitting pants in the men’s section of a store but want to go with a top from the women’s section to achieve your correct look. There’s nothing wrong with that! It may help you find the best stuff and make you feel the happiest when you put it all together.

If you’re not comfortable doing this in person by yourself, invite a trusted friend along! I would also suggest reaching out to your local LGBT+ organization and seeing if they have any advice on the safest places to shop or even if they can recommend some good online stores. They may also be able to suggest safe tailors to use to fit your clothes.

5. Resources

Now I may have totally not even addressed what  you were really looking for advice on. And I really only touched the surface of what I did get into, so here are some other resources I found that may be helpful. A lot of these are going to be trans woman focused because it’s hard to find nb (especially amab nb) resources, so these may have some of the best advice you can pick apart for what’s relevant to you.

Scroll to the bottom of the article for some suggestions on good stores to check out.Trans fashion threads (reddit)Clothing cutsAndrogynous clothes storesTips for dressing femininely How to dress […]How to find clothes that fitTransition and tips when amabAmab femininityAmab androgynyGeneral fitting tips

If you were looking for anything more specific, please ask away! I’ll do what I can to help out.

~Tera

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

raavenb2619 replied to your post “I tried to make a Electra Heart aro edit a while ago, but uh, I tried...”

Honestly mood. Sometimes the pride edits work and sometimes the universe decided you’re gonna suffer

Sometimes the best you can get is to just slap the flag over top at 40% transparency, you hate to see it.

[zemascreams]

@raavenb2619

Went here and everyone knew and loved you

[arofrantics]

raavenb2619 replied to your post: man i literally just want a word that says “i only...

You could go with (non-SAM) asexual maybe, since most people think of sexual orientation being the only orientation. Or if you want to coin a term, maybe anattracted/an-attracted? It’s also worth considering why you want a new term, because if there’s a narrative that you don’t fit there are multiple ways to challenge it, only one of which is to create new labels. (Not that there’s anything wrong with creating new labels)

i mean, i don’t think id’ing as non-sam ace as opposed to non-sam aro really clarifies my identity in regards to the aspec community. especially when it’s clear that people in the aro community use “non-sam” generally to mean “i neither identify as allo or ace”. and i feel like the aro comm isn’t a fan of “non-sam” anyway. 

i’ve seen the word “anattractional” pop up here and there, which is a good word for “i don’t experience attraction”, but doesn’t address the other factor i’m trying to convey, which is “i do not find the concept of different types of attraction useful or applicable to my experience”. the aspec community is always ready to name a million different types of attraction, but it doesn’t ever suggest that you don’t have to subscribe to this type of thinking. i think this is more inline with the “quoi” label, which suggests that not everyone can easily identify between different types of attraction, or even when they’re feeling attraction. but i’m not confused about the attraction i (don’t) feel. i want a word that opts me out of attraction sub-types all together. 

i know that the solution to everything isn’t to create new labels, and outside of aspec spaces i’m happy to id as ace or aro whenever the need suits me. but honestly, even among friends, if i tell people that i am ace, then they do not automatically assume i am aro, or otherwise non-attracted. i just want terminology that i can use to easily explain my orientation and experiences, especially to the aspec community. because in the aspec community i dont see the discussion that attraction subtypes aren’t for everyone. 

[aro-culture-is]

Aroace culture is reading/seeing an alloallo (?) relationships in fiction and loving it and being replused by it at the same time and wondering if you are romance-repulsed and sex-favorable or vice versa.

.

[tokyoghoulaspecs]

Hide, texting Touka: You’re looking for queer friends to play boardgames with, right?

Touka: A soulmate

Touka: *Absolutely

Touka: Wow, thanks for nothing autocorrect