#ra's done fucked up
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DP X DC WRITING PROMPT #23
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Bleed Me A River
What if Danny became/is the Lazarus Pits?
Hear me out.
During one of his timestream missions for Clockwork, his human form is accidentally discovered by a young Ra's al Ghul and is therefore captured to see what makes him tick. He does unspeakable things to Danny to figure out how he's both alive and dead until Danny's form just can't take it anymore. He destabilizes and melts into a pool of sickly glowing ectoplasm.
So Danny is literally trapped in an endless cycle of agony and rage over his current predicament. It worsens with each person that's brought back to life literally with his own blood, siphoning bits of him away one by one. At some point, he's long forgotten what it was like to have a physical form, what happened to make him this way, and even forgets his own name.
However, due to the circumstances of how he was turned into a halfa, his very being is basically an unfinished portal itself -- explaining his ability to swap between forms and the glowing rings, but nobody can actually travel through it, etc, etc -- and with him so wounded to the point of destabilizing, its like an endlessly bleeding cut, ectoplasm constantly leaking out into his surroundings. The pool of ectoplasm just grows and grows until its the size it becomes in modern day, even splitting off into other pools hidden underground that haven't even been discovered yet.
Things continue like this until one day, the mangled body of a teenage vigilante is dropped into his waters. The boy's memories flash through Danny's mind and jump-starts his own to forcefully remind him of just who he is.
Jason's body and experiences are so similar, so compatible with Danny that when Jason leaves the Pit, he unknowingly takes Danny with him. Danny sits in the back of Jason's mind and slowly but surely gathers and puts back together the pieces of the person he used to be.
He's not happy. He's pissed.
Unfortunately, that fury bleeds over into Jason's mind and makes him highly irrational and violent.
How is Danny supposed to fix this? How is he going to separate himself from his unwilling host without hurting him? Are other pieces of himself reciding in other people who came in contact with his waters? If so, who has them? Who knows.
All the while, the remaining Lazarus Pit slowly starts to stagnate and lose its effectiveness, no one the wiser.
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More to the prompt in the tags!
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny is the lazarus pit#ra's done fucked up#danny is the source of jason's pit rage#danny eventually gains enough sense of self and control to speak to jason in his mind#they come to an agreement and decide to help each other out#danny needs to find his remaining missing pieces before he can separate from jason#this can be platonic or#dead on main#either could work#jason is basically possessed by danny but jason is still the driver of the body#danny phantom crossover#dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#angst prompt#writing prompt#prompt#sleepy-writes-stuff
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YJ S3 Dick, still in the midst of his fever dream, hides underneath the 'souvenir' instead of behind some boxes, and accidentally opens the airlock trying to take care of the Parademons. The others get it to close... but not before Nightwing is thrown into space.
There, he stares at the ship holding his friends and mentors. There, he wishes more than anything that he can, somehow, survive. There, he tries to live, if only so his family don't have to bury him like Jason.
There, Nightwing dies, wanting to save everyone, even with the cold seeping into his bones far too quickly for a regular section of space.
Then, Dick opens his eyes to... Earth? There's a little house, and grass, and trees, but there's a bubble of green over it all. Outside of that green was an entire castle, one that looked like it should have far more support beams than it does for even a hope that it stays standing.
And the sky was swirling shades of that same green. It makes him think of Lazarus.
"Well, that's something you don't see every day." He whips his head behind him, a bit too fast for Earth's atmosphere, but it doesn't hurt him. Past the bubble of green was a blue-skinned adult in purple robes, the insides of a grandfather-clock fitted inside their torso, and a black staff with a stopwatch on its top. Beside them was a man with snow white hair, glowing green eyes, a crown of frozen fire dancing above his head, and the most galaxy-like cloak Dick's ever seen clasped to his shoulders. He's wearing... a hazmat suit? Maybe? The twinkling stars and odd lighting of wherever he is were giving him a bit of a headache.
But in front of those two, within this bubble, was...
"DICK!" Wally shouted with unrestrained glee, a blur overtaking his spot for barely a heartbeat before Dick's stuck in a crushing hug that he reciprocates once his brain stops feeling like its melting.
He doesn't know how long it took for them to calm down, but the man with the crown spoke up after a time, as Wally was still wiping their faces free of tears. "Welcome to the Infinite Realms, Nightwing." Dick barely even registered that he was still wearing his suit, but now it felt suffocating. "I suppose you're the one Clockwork was holding out for; There shouldn't've been enough Ectoplasm around you to form a Ghost, and your physical body's still in space. I can see why you like this one, though, Clockie," he states flippantly, turning to his companion. Almost like he didn't expect Dick to pay too close attention to what he was saying.
"Either way, there's two options for you." The man didn't let Dick swallow his tears and question anything. Dick's not sure if he's grateful or not. "First: Stay in the Realms permanently. You'll see Kid Flash whenever you want and learn to be a Ghost with the denizens of the Realms. Maybe find your parents."
"But..." Dick pulls away from Wally, keeping him at arms length, eyes flitting between them. The two outside the bubble were distinctly... ghost-like, so the mentions of 'Ghosts' make sense. But Wally looked... alive. A bit pale, a bit thin... but alive. Dick can't see any of his own skin to see if it was blue or tinted that way, but the Nightwing symbol on his chest kept flickering between its own blue and this 'Realms' green. "But--What about the others? What about you? Why can't you come home?" The last two, he focuses on Wally, because now he can feel a heartbeat beneath his gloves. Wally's alive. He's alive.
His friend just shrugs. "Something about their portals not fit for the living? I'm meant to wait for someone to figure out a permanent portal, but they won't tell me how long that'll take." Wally glares at the... 'Ghosts'? There was a heat to it, but it also seemed like this was a well-worn argument.
"The permanent portal was always an 'if', Wallace West. And that is entirely dependent on if Richard Grayson takes the second option," the clock Ghost--Clockwork?--speaks up. But instead of the adult Dick was expecting, there was an elderly Ghost in their place. Still with the time motif. Was that... more literal than Dick took it?
"Yes, the second option..." The crowned man glares daggers at Clockwork. The temperature dips below comfortable. Dick tries to blink the spaceship and stars out of his sight, withdrawing his arms from Wally to try and warm himself. Tries to remember he's not in space. "The second option is that you return to your body... changed. You'll be able to protect Earth better, stay with your alive family, save the Lost Ones... for a price."
Dick doesn't know if he should ignore the plural in 'Lost Ones'. He doesn't know if he's reading too much into how, in this Realm, apparently only his parents were able to be found. Where's Jason? He doesn't dare hope, but...
"What's the price?"
The man smiles and a ring of blue forms around his waist. It splits in two and travels up and down his body, replacing the cloak and whatever clothes he was actually wearing with a NASA shirt, worn jeans, and red sneakers actually duct taped together. The blue tint to his otherwise tan skin fades completely. His hair turns black. His eyes turn blue.
He was like a taller, slightly slimmer, way hotter version of Bruce.
The man walks through the bubble, but doesn't disturb the grass beneath his feet. "You become the Ghost King's vassal." Dick flinches away and almost hides behind Wally. "Not my idea! But, well... it is either this, or your permanent death."
"What does becoming a vassal do to him?" Wally asks, gently trying to stop Dick from breaking his ribs with how tightly he was hugging himself. Does he even have ribs?
"He gains my powers. Ice, electricity, invisibility, intangibility, flight... He becomes a Halfa. He becomes what I was, in life. Just... needing to make offerings to me, now and then. Something like that, at least. I give him powers, he gives me a chunk of, I don't know, chocolate once a week. Like a warlock."
Wally keeps talking to the man, keeps getting information that he knows he should pay attention to, but something in his chest screams to accept this deal, and he can't focus on anything else.
Nightwing can protect. He can return to life and go back to Blüdhaven, be the Vigilante they need. He can visit Gotham every now and then, help with cases and stop criminals from harming others. He can see his brother. He can see his friends. He can eat Alfred's cookies, and have little get-togethers with Babs and the Team--hell, he can argue with Bruce.
And all he has to do is... give an offering to this guy? The Ghost King? Every once in a while?
"There's no other price?" The King turns his attention to Dick. His eyes had shifted to a blue-green that almost hypnotize him. The green swirls, the blue forms and melts like snowflakes, and he can't look away.
He takes another step forward and Wally steps to the side. There was familiarity between them. Wally deferred to him. Dick can't quite tell why. Though, with how Wally hasn't once looked at Clockwork, maybe it's because he's... grounded? Are all speedsters in trouble with, what, the Ghost of Time? That... actually makes perfect sense.
"I'll be honest, Nightwing: You've impressed me." The weight behind the King's words lifts the ones that've been on his shoulders since he was nine. "You remind me of myself. Maybe, if I wasn't a Halfa... If I had a mentor... I could've been like you.
"Despite Clockwork's insistence over the years that I get back in touch with the living, I've held off. When he eventually suggested that I help create another Halfa, I locked him in his tower for twenty years. I didn't want anyone to go through what I had. But, now... I see that you won't. You can't. Even if you hide this deal--our shared powers... You'll still have people by your side. Strong people. Smart people. You can already handle yourself. And I'd love to see what you can do--who you can save--with my help."
There was maybe two inches between their faces when the King finishes speaking. Dick roves his eyes across the other's face, trying to find the common and familiar ticks that show lies and deceit and manipulation. All he finds is sincerity and genuine care.
Wally plays with his fingers from the corner of his eye, gaze hopeful as he looks between the two of them. Wally, who was alive and breathing and able to leave if he accepts. Eventually. Somehow.
Dick Grayson sends a quiet apology to his parents and hopes they will forgive him for being a little bit selfish.
"I accept."
He flings his eyes open. Above him, domino mask too wobbly to be properly secured anymore, was Robin crying and begging him to wake up. His hands were sloppily placed over his heart. Batman was trying to drag him away, the firm set of his jaw screaming grief.
Nightwing gasps once he registers his lungs burning.
There's a large cacophony of noise, multiple bright suits and people hounding over him, and the distinct artificial taste of slightly-too-much oxygen that the ship with the Parademons had. That he flew out of and died. He was still too cold.
Someone moves their arm beneath his knees and shoulder and Dick passes out.
(Dick 'Nightwing' Grayson dies in space. Ghost King Danny Phantom likes this too-human Hero. They split their souls in half, take one piece of the others, and all they know is that Phantom is now Nightwing's Patron Deity. Danny uses ice, for electricity killed him. Dick uses electricity, for ice killed him. They are opposites, and yet so incredibly similar. Clockwork was looking forward to when Danny starts putting off his paperwork to hang out with his new 'friend'.)
#i dont think ive seen something like this yet but its been stuck in my mind for like ten months#also i dont see enough death defying so this was like heavily implying that#ive imagined dick just. not telling anyone what happened. even when his powers get a little out of control. he just. like. makes a bowl#of cereal and leaving it on the counter and just saying 'for the. uh. ghost king? lil help?' and thats how danny first shows up again#eventually dick really does wonder bout the lazarus and gets to ra's. sees that one new assassin. ghost sense goes off. hes never had THAT#happen before. confusion. the assassin HESITATES to attack him. oh. oh fuck. jay? oh fuck the dude flinched. GET RA'S OUT HERE NOW DAMNIT#WHATVE YOU DONE TO JAY??? I DONT WANNA HEAR IT. *pulls a tim and explodes something*. JASON WE'RE GOING. just full on grabs the guy and#gets back on the plane. theyre going to blud#at some point in time constantine meets nightwing. takes one look at him. turns around. fucks RIGHT off. tries to never be near him again#1 thats a HALFA hes gonna try and get john in the realms bc o all the soul contracts. 2 hes DRENCHED in 'do not touch belongs to ghost king#and he does NOT FUCK with the ghost king. 3 is that? THE GHOST KING'S RING ON HIS FINGER???#turns out danny gave him that after a particularly good offering that they dont realize counted as courtship. oopsies#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc au#dick grayson#danny fenton#nightwing#death defying ship#halfa dick grayson#dc x dp#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp crossover#vwoopis posts
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Protective Nightwing Part 2
Tim would like to say that he didn't realize it would become a thing ok. He knows technically he is manipulating his big brother but honestly he's tired and his fucks ran out three murder attempts ago.
Ra Al Ghul is annoying he's easy to outwit usually and most of the time he is more interested in a chest match than actually killing Tim.
Today he had four board meetings, and had to stop ten fucking muggings he's tired, he's overwhelmed and he is worried he might actually start crying. Which can't happen.
Well Detective what are you gonna do?
Now this is when he usually detonates the bombs and gets stabbed, but he's not the only Bat Dick is literally a block over chatting about his plans for the weekend. He's feeling a bit petty and he might want a hug which is between him and his fucking monster at this point.
He looks at Ra pushing as much menace and you fucked up into his eyes as he can before opening his mouth.
Dick it's Ra shit I'm gonna fall please. Tears flowing smirk in place.
Ra backs up fear in his eyes as Tim moves to the edge of the roof.
Dick comes in swinging Ra is dangling over the roof while Tim pretends he just pulled himself up.
He growls I'm gonna drop you don't fucking test me as he lights him up with over 10,000 volts.
Tim maybe should have the mentioned the sedative Ra had stuck him with. The last thing Tim saw before passing out was Dicks smirk as he dropped Ra over the building.
Tim wakes up cacooned in a soft hoodie and wrapped around Dick who is softly humming as his fingers ran through his hair. He slips back to a nightmare free sleep guarded by his Robin.
#tim drake#batfamily#ra al ghul#jason todd#damian wayne#dick grayson#bamf dick grayson#Dick might have murdered Ra ain't no one saying shit#Dick also knows that they are playing it up he doesn't care he gets to cuddle and fuck people up he don't care#protective dick grayson#bruce wayne#bamf batfamily#batfam#bamf tim drake#tim is so done#chaotic tim drake#Tim is manipulative he knows it and he owns it#Tim also might want a hug and refuses to ask don't judge him#alfred pennyworth
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day 10 - dusk
Ajisai knew hunger; it'd been a dull aching thing in her belly that, left unfed, grew teeth and claws. Ajisai knew hunger and so she hated Yuhelmeric. Only a man of faith would be so foolish as to listen for an eikon that never answers while his men begged for their lives. And when they'd tried to save themselves, what did he do? He killed them, slaughtered them like animals, and served them to the survivors. Savage, indeed.
auraugust promptos
#i did a little think and dusk vigil would've FUCKED Ajisai up#her major trauma was because of blind faith in people who don't deserve power and here it is-- the bad ending that could've been hers#i think... she probably had a big long cry in that hallway when all was said and done#she probably went out of her way to identify every single soldier she could#made sure to lay them all to rest with the proper rites#auraugust2024#ffxiv#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenies#au ra#raen#ishgard#coerthas#dusk vigil#ajisaijar#gposejar#fun fact: there are knights in the background and if you squint you can see their chainmail#i spent all that time posing them and you can barely see them lmao#i guess you can kinda see the hand on her shoulder though#if you squint REALLY hard#it's there I swear#'keep it simple she says' ubejamjar is a liar and you can quote me on that
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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need him.
#☆— yapping#done talking about seth#used to be so obsessed with horus idk why seth was ever in my mind#just remembered about how insane i went when his face was revealed#need to reread and catch up so bad#but like. that mask yk. the. the beak.#IM SORRYY i need to be sedated guys#trying to remember who else i liked from there...#honestly they were all bitches but like#ra was hot if i remember correctly#anyways horussssss horus save me please horus#ohhh wait also anubis was. hmmmm thinky thinky#actually nah not really#at least the point i was at i wasn't a big fan#i could see the appeal tho don't get me wrong#BUT HORUS FUCK MEE (please. genuinely. please. with or without the mask i don't care just. please)#anyways horus <3 loved him
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One time when I was an RA in college a bunch of first year students were playing around with a Ouija board and freaked out because they summoned the demon Zozo. The RA for that building eventually had to have her priest uncle come and exorcise/bless the dorm and it was fine. Every resident encounter had to be officially documented, police report style, and so at some point after all this I was sat in a lecture hall with all the other RAs while our bosses lectured us on the proper way to handle a demon summoning
#don't know why i just remembered this#once we got called in for a meeting where our three adult bosses cried at all the RAs for an hour bc the student body didn't like them#once a really drunk naked girl called the duty phone for help & i cleaned the puke off her‚ then got written up for touching a naked person#they were like 'we would have totally done the same thing you did but we still need to write you up' 🙃#I'm still salty about that. she needed help#new college was not a real fucking place#me
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So I here it was the 89th show today...
#FINALLY got this one done!#I kept starting and restarting over and over again I was never satisfied#finally realized it was because I can't fucking draw open mouth smiles to save my life and gave up on that#UGH I love sy he's so cute 😭#also the way I drew ra yellow syrus on og 89 and obelisk syrus on 89tv is genius on my part ngl ✋😭#just gotta finish ttpd and I'll finally be all cuaght up on these bad boys until she puts out another rerecord aksks#yugioh#ygo#yugioh gx#ygo gx#syrus truesdale#sho marufuji#art#taylor swift#1989 taylor's version#yugioh gx characters as taylor swift album covers#abby attempts to draw
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caught up finallyyyy. that shit was FIRE
#ninjago spoilers#im loving the overarching plot even if some of the moment to moment stuff is losing me#in particular the dialogue felt rlly clunky to me a lot of the time w characters justttt. expositing at every chance#but i rlly like sora and arins arcs so far. really really good#arin is maybeeeee leaning a little too Evilllllll for my tastes BUT i do think it makes sense at least#finalllyyyy a good fucking corruption arc#found the kinda... prodigy sora on the stage at the end alone very powerful#it nice to see them growing at different rates and the conflict it might cause#still not sure what wfs deal is yet but i did rlly like her relationship w roby. super cute. they matched each others freak#i miss jayyyyy still but nice that its being built up to#hopefully it pays off nicely bc the 2 secs of it we got to see was... umm. not the bestttt#altho interesting to see now that jays been shattered.#also i assume it just went back to the administration? seemed that ras was done w it#i wonder if jay wld be able to find anything out abt itself if thats the case.....?#i mean youd assume it tried already. butttt u cld say maybe it was under the agency as jay gordon which wld have come up w nothing#UM ANYWAY i do rlly like where the story is going it feels rlly cool and different to have everything developing over time like this#compared to the more contained seasons from before#also just saying. if i was lloyd id straight up kill myself#rlly funny imagining llpyd getting back to the monastery and sighing and replacing kais photo w arins#yes yes. very good. zane saying cringe made my jaw drop#actually ill say i do hate how they r writing zane. but thats been an issue for forever now so wtfeverrrr
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Y'ALL WHAT THE FUCK.
MY ROOMMATE HAD SOMEONE OVER FOR THE NIGHT AND SHE LET THEM SLEEP IN MY BED WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST??? EVEN THOUGH WE EXPLICITLY AGREED THAT WE WOULD ASK EACH OTHER FIRST BEFORE EVER HAVING SOMEONE OVER??? AND IN MY BED???? HELLO?????
this is such a massive boundary for me and i'm so upset. she knew i was gone this weekend because i have to work (when i work i'm out in the city so i just stay there for the night instead of dealing with the commute to/from college) or else i can't afford to yknow exist as a human being under capitalism but like. that's so fucked. she literally knew that i wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING about it bc i'm out of town for the weekend and she took advantage of that.
and she pretended that we never discussed having someone over she tried to play the "oh i'm sorry we just never talked about it before" card and i'm like. we literally DID talk about it. it was in the roommate contract that the college MADE US FILL OUT TOGETHER and we both agreed we would have to ASK each other and COMMUNICATE before anything like that happened.
the thing is i'm just a very personal type of person and this is a massive boundary she just crossed for me. and she was already really upsetting me bc she's been belittling me all the time and she's not respectful of my work and i woke up a couple times to her watching me sleep and she's been staring at me while i change and she doesn't listen when i tell her no, ever, and i'm very, very upset about this all. this is the last straw.
#vent#i texted my RA about it because i'm so done but there's also a housing shortage on campus#and bc my roommate never fucking leaves me alone - like she literally follows me around places and tracks me down if i try to avoid her -#our friend groups are kinda overlapping now which makes things very very complicated#and i was putting up with all the other random shit but when i found out she let a stranger sleep in my bed ON MY SHEETS WITH MY PILLOWS i#just needed to cry. i NEED to cry. this is a massive thing for me and i just can't forgive her for this.
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Incredibly frustrated by how condescendingly jaded my uncle can be but I’m being so brave about it <- not blowing him up with my mind even though I want to
#ra speaks#personal#I love him. but my dude. bruh.#made a comment abt how I should try working/volunteering w the homeless#after I commented on his tirade abt homeless ppl ‘gaming the system’ by getting arrested in the winter#to have somewhere warm w food to stay like ‘why are we not talking about how fucked it is that the homeless will fucking die if they don’t?#like sir. buddy. you do remember that I grew up on food stamp right? I have gone to a food bank as a recipient before.#I’ve volunteered at shelters and soup kitchens before. I know addicts and homeless people in town.#this isn’t some naive wide eyed college socialist ‘those poor homeless people are saints’ schitck#this is a tired university food pantry anarchist ‘aren’t you fucking tired of being cruel to people who make the best o thr circumstances?’#sorry you can no longer see the divine value of every human life and must endure the tragedy#of considering everyone not to your standard a lost cause.#some of us see the work to be done and will be doing it instead of wallowing in hate and pity.#shut up and get to work like the rest of us if you hate it so much.#it’s just like *strangled him* you see me twice a year dude I DO WORK AT A SOUP KITCHEN YOU IDIOT#I just don’t talk abt it because it’s just something I do sorry I thought making acts of charity your whole personality#was vain and frowned upon in christian society???#this makes my plans to ditch academia and go into fulltime aid work feel all the more. idk vindicated???#that’s not the right word but you get it. uncle t I love you but you know fuck all and have hardened your heart to the world.#god break that heart of stone you have and bless you with love for your fellow man. or whatever.#for context this convo happened like two years ago but I saw him last week and in light of recent personal revelations I’ve remembered it#core memory locked in ‘are you for fucking real uncle t?’#vocational woes
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shadow weaver was really out there being the cause of mommy issues (professional)
#like what do you mean she exploded herself in front of her kids and all she said was “you're welcome”#after simultaneously being catra's biggest hater and adora's biggest stan#she really said “what haven't i done yet to fuck up these kids. ah yes let me try ____”#she ra and the princesses of power
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having thoughts about like. how the flashbacks we see of setrákus, pittacus, and celwe are ambiguous enough--the tiny slices we get of their dynamic, and all of the missing context in between--that pittacus' nastiness toward setrákus might be in response to setrákus being abusive toward him while they were growing up. and setrákus' nastiness toward him might be in response to pittacus being abusive toward him while they were growing up. or maybe they were just shitty to each other and in general, with celwe and Everyone Else getting caught in the crossfire.
the authors probably intended for it to be the first option, to the extent they were thinking about it in those terms at all: pittacus grew up with a friend who's been shitty to downright abusive toward him, and by their big confrontation he's had enough time away from him to unpack how fucked up his behavior was, and understand his tactics in order to call them out. you could interpret it that way, and were probably meant to, and it would make sense.
but... that assumption is kind of the problem, to me. because the other very much valid way to interpret what we see is a certain kind of abuse that's bad enough by itself, but is primarily aimed at neurodivergent and otherwise marginalized people in particular. (and setrákus is autistic as fuck.) and it's abuse that widely goes unseen and ignored, and is most often perpetuated by people who know they can afford to do it, or think they can.
might have to come back to it in more detail in a reblog, honestly, because it's a lot to talk about; but essentially it comes down to silencing someone by either openly dismissing what they say as nonsense that no one can understand but them, and isn't important enough to try, or disguising it behind a bad faith ''attempt'' to understand so they can say they tried and there's no point. it's a lifelong trauma which has shaped enormous parts of my personality and how i communicate, i can spot it a mile away, and i see all the hallmarks of it in their relationship and how setrákus is affected by it.
and that bothers me. it bothers me a lot that we're supposed to see one and not the other. it bothers me that it's not even 'pittacus' behavior is genuinely shit, but it's somewhat more understandable in the version of events where the context is that he was abused'; he's framed as the hero of the situation either way, who's acting out of pure kindness and reason and good intent. it bothers me that the person who is easy to interpret as having been abused this way would, even then, still be depicted as the Abusive Hate Sink Incarnation of Evil. (because he is abusive, and he is very much an evil son of a bitch. regardless of who was worse in his relationship with pittacus, that's true.) and it bothers me that that framing makes it harder to explore how the cycle of abuse manifests in this scenario, because it absolutely is a thing that happens and is worth telling stories about.
just, i don't know. thoughts. hm.
#lorien legacies#pittacus lore#setrákus ra#LL tag#LL crit tag#the crit files#abuse cw#abuse apologia cw#ableism cw#fuck off pittacus#i think the thing that seals it for me the most is that pittacus tried to Talk Some Sense into Him(tm) for like two minutes#and then when he threw his hands up and went 'whatever' he expected that to be the end of it#not 'okay dude listen whether you agree with me or not i can't let this continue and if you fight me on it things are going to escalate'#he just immediately assumes that *the disagreement* and whether it has any bearing here will be over the moment he calls it quits#all he has to do is plug his ears when he's done being indulgent and things will go right back to the arrangement that suits him#setrákus and whatever goals and opinions and feelings he had might as well not exist anymore#he'll go home to his wife (who he's been abusing; and who pittacus outed to him as having leaked the info that led to this outcome 🙃)#and forget about all of this. as far as pittacus is concerned setrákus has no actual choice; stupid or otherwise; but for it to Go Away.#and he is C O M P L E T E L Y blindsided when 'i decided it's not worth the slight effort to communicate anymore' isn't the end of it#like. i know people like this. i know this pattern.#and that combined with the fact that before he ~grows up and matures into a kind loving understanding leader~#what we see of him as a kid is the really blatant mask-off flavor of insults; dismissal; talking-over; and accusations of overthinking it#it reads to me that that's never changed; he just figured out how to hide it behind a bad faith veneer of 'well i tried uwu'#anyway. do not like this man do not like this framing setrákus is a nasty piece of shit but also unfortunately in some ways very relatable#caveat also that 'i'm not debating this anymore either shut up and leave it or things will escalate' can be and often is abusive lmfao#generally speaking the pattern is that if it's going to be your problem and not theirs if they don't understand and communicate with you#people like this will stop bothering to pretend your opinion or what you have to say matters the moment their 5m (tops) of patience runs ou#pittacus just really tips his hand here because he is *so* certain that him deciding he's done trying to understand#means setrákus' concerns and opinions might as well evaporate into thin air#that he ignores the extremely obvious danger that he might put up any further resistance at all; despite setrákus clearly being Unhinged
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Walls and Friends
Everyone hits a wall.Sometimes, the wall is very big, and visible from very far away. Big walls that you can see from far away give you time to figure out how to go around them. And if they don’t, you still have the time to build tools to climb over them, or dig through them.Sometimes the wall is very small, but catches you off-guard. It doesn’t take a lot to get around or over or through a small wall, but you’re not expecting a wall until the last second, and you don’t have any tools ready. Annoying, but at least small enough to deal with easily enough.
And sometimes, the wall is invisible.You don’t know a wall is coming until you run into it face first. You don’t know how big it is, or whether there’s a path around it. You don’t know what material it’s made of, so you don’t know what kind of tool would be best to climb it, or dig through it. Invisible walls were a pain in the keister.Especially since anyone else would just tell you to walk forward, because they couldn’t see the wall. Some people didn’t know about invisible walls, and thought other people just didn’t feel like moving on. Dealing with people who didn’t believe in invisible walls was almost more infuriating than the invisible walls.
Lamina had hit an invisible wall.It wasn’t the first time they had hit a wall, not even the first invisible one. That did not make it any more pleasant to smack into one face first.They had been focused on a wall in the distance - a big but very visible wall, made of a few different materials. A wall of Work, coming in their path soon in various forms, and needing various tools. Lamina had been crafting the tools to deal with the big Work wall.
And then they’d gotten cold-clocked by an invisible wall.It had knocked them from the sky, and the fall to the ground had hurt them a lot. Getting up would be a lot of work before they could even start trying to deal with either of the walls.And so for a bit, Lamina just lay there in the dirt, coughing blood with limbs akimbo, wishing that the wall wasn’t there.
A soft rustling sound from behind Lamina made them slowly turn their head. It was hard to see through the dirt on their glasses.Something poked at their glasses, fuzzy and bright, and when it pulled back there was a little less dirt on their glasses.In front of them sat a pig, wearing a crown that was too big and had fallen upside-down around its neck. It bore two balls of red and green, the same shades as Lamina wore.This pig was a friend, Boon. Lamina and Boon had been friends for a long time, and even though they didn’t talk as much as they used to, Lamina was happy to see Boon again.
Boon sat back on its haunches, cleared its throat, and started shaking the balls - pom-poms.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!” The voice was rough and low for a pig, and a little silly in the way one sounds when one doesn’t care about sounding silly.It waved the pom-poms high, and it waved the pom-poms low, and it waved the pom-poms so strongly it nearly fell backwards.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”
Lamina stared at Boon.Boon stared at Lamina, and shook the pom-poms again.They both began to laugh.
And then Boon set the pom-poms down, and grabbed Lamina’s collar with its teeth. It gently helped Lamina roll back into a position that was a little more comfortable, laying down next to it.“Hit a wall?" Lamina nodded, sighing. "Want to draw. But I have to get past the Work wall, and there’s another one in the way.”Boon nodded solemnly. “Invisible. Hit a lot of those myself.”“How did you deal with them?”Boon’s piggy lips tilted back in a smile. “Got help. A lot of it from you.”
Lamina looked over at Boon. Boon looked back.“A lot of the days I was writing, I hit my own walls. But I would look through it, and see you waiting on the other side. And you were always so happy to see me that I just had to make it through the wall. And sometimes, you would help me through it, seeing things I couldn’t.”It was true. It felt like a long time ago, and no time at all.
“So whenever you want to get up,” Boon said, stretching and wiggling back onto its feet, “and take another crack at the wall, I’ll be here. You can lay down for a bit if you want, though - you hit it pretty hard. And I can wait.”Lamina watched the pig pick up the pom-poms again, brushing the dirt off them. Boon looked back, and wiggled them.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”
—–
aka ur little drawing inspires me as always, and i’ll help you with any walls I can, even if all i can do is pom-pom
#submission#what if i just never recover from this#there are actual tears in my eyes#how the fuck are you able to write amazing shit like this so casually at the drop of a hat#youre so fuckin talented!!!!!!#i really did hit an invisible wall#thought i was ready for it !! very much was not#i love the way you do descriptions#everyone seems to always hit a wall around you until you hit a wall yourself and you watch everyone around you pass through like its nothing#i cant believe we didnt meet that long ago! it feels like ive known you for so many years!!!#there is so much care in this. i can hug this close n love oozes from this like a sponge#m so glad i have you as a friend!! i really needed this#ra! ra! sis-boom-ba! i can do it LA-MI-NA!#<- that is going ot be my war cry for now on whenever i need to get something done thank you i love it#this it so good i still cant believe you wrote this for me#thank you!!!!!!! \^~^/#ALSO!!!! I DID THE MAIN BULK OF THE WORK RIGHT AFTER YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!!!!#IT WASNT EVEN THAT HARD!!!! I WAS JUST DREADING IT SO BAD BECAUSE I HATED THE SUBJECT MATERIAL#THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU INFINITY TIMES OVER!! IF I HADNT I PROBABLY WOULD'VE RAN OUT OF TIME DOING IT LATER AND MESSED IT UP#BOON YOURE THE FUCKING BEST N YOU DESERVE THE BEST#M TREASURING THIS FOREVER I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT
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😭😩 i am so sick of ai this and ai that. pls. let me live. i don't need an in-browser ai prompt thing to open up a separate chatgpt window where i need an account to translate something or whatever. HELP.
#especially learning about the environmental impact of this shit i'm just aoifeoaijf so done pls leave me alone stop adding extra ai features#and the op*ra one they're trying out is so fucking annoying and invasive. it just started showing up w no warning#luckily it's easy to turn off but like 😭 leave me alone#negative#*dykeposting
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YOU TAKE THE MOON!
AND YOU TAKE THE SUN!
YOU WENT BACK IN TIME AND KILLED EVERYONE! :D
if i had a time machine i would go and kill every single historical figure, good or bad, every single one since the dawn of civilization. come back to the present day and the world looks like Marzipan City from Chowder
#YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP BUT NOW ITS DONE!#RADA RADA RADA RADA RADA RA#SO COME ON IN FEEL FREE TO DO SOME LOOKIN-
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