#quarantine viewing
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I'm pretty depressed and am aware that the process of exiting this step needs to be split in some way across myself and others, but The Horrors present themselves to me as one atomic entity; whenever I attempt to explain The Horrors it feels like I simply make a copy of the atom, pass it to a friend, and then it vanishes out of their hands
#i am also on my fifth day of covid quarantine in my room which outside view seems like it should be making things worse#but inside view seems to improve things#rambl#emo depletion#ah well. good old 'we have been where you are but we cannot lead you out'
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building more parts to my secret lab. need a proper quarantine zone before the toxic waste site, so im thinking, oh actuators and logic gates could do that pretty easily, right? just a wire to each switch and a not gate that prevents the actuators from being turned off again from the inside, so that there's a seperate way out of the quarantine zone than in which would prevent holdups if one person is entering and one is leaving at the same time (literally not an issue i am playing on my own and the spread of radioactive particles isnt actually possible in this mod as far as i know, but the logistics of this whole thing matter a LOT to shadow naoto) . perfect idea. it'll be great.
so i go to the terraria wiki. and i check the mechanic's page. no sign of the gates. im like. im sure these exist in game. maybe the steampunker sells them. that'd be fine, i'd just end up having to shelf the idea until hardmode (not really much of a problem, i'd have time to build that while waiting for things to happen) . check steampunker's stock. yup, its logic gates.
ok. i think. i should go check the page for these to make sure they work the way i need them to. and the wiki says.
#soury you can tell im REALLY back on a terraria kick#dont worry about the radioactivity or the quarantine zone or the toxic waste site right next to your beautiful oceanic view#i literally did not put that there but i WILL be looking into it. somebody's gotta dispose of this radioactivity right
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I wrote a summary of terf ideology here as a resource. It got kinda long so I'm putting it in a readmore.
What terfs believe:
Binary sex is always unambiguous and cannot change
There are 4 sexualities (gay, lesbian, bi, straight) and they target by sex only
The root form of oppression is men oppressing women
Gender is a cage men built for women
All men are a danger to women (constantly reinforced by example)
Women must develop class consciousness to overthrow male oppression
Women need woman-only spaces in order to develop class consciousness
Transgender is a conspiracy to destroy woman-only spaces
Men cannot be radical feminists
It should be legal to be a prostitute, but illegal to be a customer. If better opportunities were available, most sex workers would quit.
Each woman has a responsibility to make feminist choices
Pornography is never okay
BDSM is never okay
Surrogacy is never okay
Straight marriage is slavery
Makeup is antifeminist
Gender dysphoria can and should be treated without transition
Some terfs believe female separatist colonies are the only way to accomplish their goal. Others believe boys can be taught to be good men. This is a point of contention among terfs.
In addition, terfs are often (but not always) anti-capitalist and anti-religious. Some (but not all) terfs believe PIV sex is inherently rape. Political lesbianism is contentious in the terf community; "febfem" (female-exclusive bisexuality) is more popular. There is a three-way tension between straight, lesbian, and bi terfs.
Terf posting is extremely negative and bitter. The majority of posts are about specific instances of crimes and offenses against cis women. Of these, more than half feature trans women, the rest feature cis men. Tempering the bitterness are positivity posts for women and for the radfem lifestyle, but it's a steel-edged kind of positivity. The psychological profile is targeted toward women who have trauma from sexual abuse or misogynistic harassment. Most terfs are cis women, a sizable minority experience dysphoria or formerly identified as trans men.
Terfs send large numbers of hate anons, both to each other and to queer people. Some terfs make a hobby of jumping onto posts where they're not welcome to criticize trans women and anyone who defends them. Some terf blogs tackle broader feminist issues, others focus exclusively on hatred for trans women. Every terf posts at least some transmisogynistic hate. The in-group jargon for terfs is explicitly transphobic.
"terf" doesn't mean "is mean to men." It's an actual ideology. No, a trans woman saying "men suck" isn't "terf" related, because terfs are a type of feminist with very specific transphobic beliefs.
#um#dont judge#terf ideology was an autistic hyperfixation of mine#back in quarantine#i lurked their fora like i was jane goodall#obviously i dont endorse the views i'm describing here#OP is right#90% of posts throwing the word terf around#on tumblr#are not using it correctly#figured I could put my weird fixation to good use
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I'm losing my mind can anyone help me find what naive Samoan opinion was on John Martin Poyer in the early 1900s
#it's only as I write this out that I realize how insanely directe specific it sounds#I don't know how directe got there. I don't know what that means#I can't explain how I got here but help me get out#I need this information for my project#I want to have a well rounded view of this guy and the only thing the internet will tell me is that he quarantined American Samoa#I KNOW. DID HE TREAT THE NATIVE PEOPLE NICIES THO OR WAS HE A RANDOM COLONIZER WHO MADE ONE SMART CALL#do you understand my crisis#if any of you know a samoan alive today who'd be willing to talk to me about this????#specifically american samoan bc western samoa had a deeply different experience#pleaaaaaase I want a well researched project
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"Quarantining Hate" by Kerrie Taber
Hate is a virus that spreads rapidly if not stopped. #books #bookreview #reading #readerviews
Quarantining Hate Kerrie TaberRed Engine Press (2023)ISBN: 979-8987957677Reviewed by Jill Rey for Reader Views (12/2023) Kerrie Taber is a university professor and author of “Quarantining Hate.” As a professor, there are certain requirements around publishing work for promotions. Typically, university professors find themselves publishing in journals in line with their disciplines, however,…
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libidinal
If Dean could curse every witch on this planet for dosing you and him with an aphrodisiac after ganking them, he would. His entire body was on fire— burning, and his mind was embarrassingly stuck on you. You, your thighs, lips, your ass. It all rattled about in his head like a broken record, and he craved you, craved the relief like crazy.
He knew that you were feeling the same things he was right now, the ache, burn, relentless want that you just couldn’t shake no matter how hard you tried. Ugh, you needed him. Like you’d die if you didn’t have him. Dean felt the same damn way — trust him — like one touch and he’d break the damn best friend code of conduct.
You’d think both of you would have more control of yourselves, considering how you were both hunters who’d faced stuff like vampires and shit. "This is gettin’ on my nerves, sweetheart," he scoffed, eyes fluttering up and down you. You were too hot for this world— and that wasn’t just the pollen talking, but his drugged up mind couldn’t stop.
"Fuck this." he slowly took off his sweat-soaked shirt, looking for signs that you’d jump him. Dean rubbed the sweat off his chest, having no damn right to look that jacked and edible right now, ugh. He can't take all of this crap, including being quarantined in this damn motel room by Sam. It’s for a reason, though.
He groaned, aching, desperate, gesturing for you to keep away so he could resist this damned pollen’s effects. "Oh, m’ gonna kill Sammy if he doesn’t find a cure for this stat." Dean covered his ears, yeah, no. He acted as if covering his ears and blocking out all noise would stop the ache for you, well, it sure didn’t.
Pacing back and forth, he took one look at you— nope, look away, you looked too hot, nope. "Yeah, I’ll kill him." He winced when he got a very R-rated image in his head— he was desperate for you, you, for some relief, mainly sex.
He felt like every second without his hands on your ass was torture— he hoped he wouldn’t go to hell.
“Oh, I’m fine.” You breathed, sarcastic, giving him a look with raised eyebrows. “Just — you know — feeling like my body’s burning alive, I’m sweatin’, my brain hurts.” Your eyes were hungrily searching his bare chest, biting your lip— no, stop, even if you felt on fire and were sweating buckets.
“You’re clearly not,” he retorted. He would’ve found it funny that you were checking him out, but the need was so overwhelming, and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from throwing you onto the nearest surface.
“So… no need to be sarcastic. M’ just trying to control myself.” He muttered under his breath, crossing his arms and keeping the distance between you. “Can’t say the same for you though, sweetheart, ‘cause I can see ya gawkin’.”
“Yeah, just quit it, you look like a five star buffet. A girl can’t help herself when she’s drugged up on an aphrodisiac.” You groaned, dabbing your sweaty-ass neck with a towel, not able to help the way your eyes hungrily drank in his chest. “I’m makin’ do with the view I’ve got while my pussy’s yellin’ at me right now.”
“Christ, darlin’.” He muttered. He felt all fuzzy inside when you said that, he hated how hungry the damn pollen made him for you, for your body. Dean’s eyes darkened, taking in the way you kept looking at him, how you were yearning for him like he was with you. His fingers gripped on the chair he was sitting on, and he leaned forward— he needed to stay on the damn chair.
“And what kinda things is it tellin’ you, hm?” He asked, voice lowering, growling almost. His cock was telling him to go over there, moan in your ear as he thrusted into you, that’s what— but he had to deny himself of such luxurious pleasures. How great.
“To throw away all sense of modern feminism and let you fuck me hard on the floor.” You breathed, moaning softly at getting the words out. “Or letting you bend me over the table. Eat me out on the bed, take me from behind on said bed.” Another desperate moan.
Shit.
Dean almost groaned out loud, damn you. You were going to be the death of him. He was so damn hard right now, and he gripped even tighter on the chair, he would break it if he wasn’t careful.
“Sweet girl, I know you’re not talkin' about feminism when you got your hungry eyes all over me right damn now.” He bit out, clenching his jaw. Dean couldn’t help the fantasies that were running through his mind, especially when you let those moans out.
“I know.” You murmured, nodding, levelling the playing field and taking your shirt off too, leaning back against the bed’s headboard. Shit. Your skin that glistened with sweat, glowing more in the shitty motel light, tits now on display for his hungry-ass eyes. Your head tipped back, eyebrows pinched together tight, lips parted ever so slightly. Shit.
“Goddamn it,” he muttered, eyes drinking in that perfect body of yours like a man who hadn’t had a drop of water in years. He’d seen you in a bikini before and almost lost it, but this view, this view was a sight for sore eyes. One that he was now staring at shamelessly.
His mouth hung agape as his eyes traveled from your chest to your face, he was desperate — all for you. “What’re you gettin’ at?” He asked, voice low and ragged.
“That I’m hot too. A woman can exist with her shirt off.” You scoffed, thighs rubbing together for any friction. C’mon, fuck, you got nothing— guess Dean’s cock was the answer, but not fucking your friend was the first cardinal rule of maintaining a best-friendship. “Oh, I’m gonna kill those witches even if they’re in the afterlife. I—” You let out a small whimper of frustration, the ache building. “God damn.”
“Damn right you’re hot, sweetheart.” he muttered, eyes locked to your thighs, practically drooling— maybe he wasn’t talking about the heat both of you were burning under. Dean’s tongue darted out and wet his dry lips, watching you as you rubbed your thighs against one another for friction. Damn it, it should be him being that friction, if that even made sense— he didn’t know, his brain was sludge. “I know, baby girl, m’ feelin’ what you are, I get it.”
He wanted to reach out and touch you so bad, but he had to get a grip. Sam could come back with a cure— maybe. Could he wait that long? Probably not.
You, however, simply did not have the patience nor the fucks to deal with Sam and his annoying lateness— you needed your best friend, he needed you, you had two holes he could put his dick into — you weren’t doing ass stuff on the first fuck — so it’s a win-win. “Dean, fuck this cure.” You whined, breath hitching as you yanked your sweats down, panties going with, pussy leaking and aching and so very empty. “Can’t wait, I can’t— c’mere. Fuck me, c’mere.”
Ok— yeah— yes, ma’am.
The sight had his eyes getting dark, nearly feral as he quickly stood up from his chair. The chair fell backwards and made a loud thud against the floor, but he couldn’t care less— not when you looked so damn delectable on the bed in front of him. Dean took quick steps towards you, practically ripping off the rest of his shirt.
He kneeled on the bed in front of you, practically pinning you to the bed. He couldn’t help himself. “M’ here, I’m here. Tell me what you want.” He huffed out, hips already bucking against the bed, moaning at the friction as he kissed over your bare tits and up your neck, licking up your neck, sweat on his tongue— yes, it’s disgusting, but he’d ponder on that in retrospect, right now he felt like an animal.
You guided his hand between your legs then kissed him, hotly, hungry, your lips devouring his, hand on the back of his head keeping him there. It was like a dam had broken, your breath harsh and heavy against his lips.
He grunted into the kiss, eyes slipping shut against the onslaught of your lips against his. His hand easily found its way down to you, the second you pushed him where you wanted him. God, his hand ached to be between your thighs.
“M’ here,” he breathed in between hot kisses. “M’ here, sweetheart, I gotcha.” The words were muffled, breathless, as he pushed your thighs apart, finding your wetness, his eyes nearly rolling back into his head. God, he was starved for you, as you were for him, it felt frantic, hazy, like relief that he was finally touching your skin that would go away instantly, as it wasn’t enough. Your scent had his eyes actually rolling back for a second, a pant and a whine leaving his mouth in quick succession as his free hand pushed sweaty hair out of your face, his own spiky from your hand running through it.
He ground his cock against the bed, feeling himself leaking — as were you — and these touches alone honestly had him feeling like he could embarrass himself right here, and come in his pants like a teenager before even getting the chance to fuck you properly.
You nodded against his lips, practically gone and inattentive to anything but him, leaning more of your body weight back against the headboard and pulling — yanking — him with you, panting, desperate. “Need you, baby, please.”
Oh, he needed you too, baby girl.
“Need you too, gorgeous.” he panted, letting you push him around between your legs and wiping sweat off his forehead briefly, wiping that hand on the sheets— shit, that left a pretty dark mark. He bit down on your bottom lip, groaning into the kiss. God, you looked so pretty, so needy and desperate, and you were all for him. He needed to mark you in some way, make you his in every possible way. He needed to.
“You need me inside this pretty pussy, baby?” He asked, his hand already gliding over your slickness, his eyes locked on yours. His fingers pushed inside you, a moan leaving both your mouths as he felt the lack of resistance on your cunt’s part, and how it sucked his fingers in — fuck, you were tight — and he worked your bra off so he could suck and flick his tongue against your nipples one at a time, moaning against the softness of your tits— mmh, that felt so good.
You nodded frantically, cause fuck yeah, moaning, lips still pressed to his as the pressure had you whimpering in relief. “Yes— yes, baby, d-don’t you stop, ok? God, feels so good.”
“I won’t, wasn’t plannin’ on it, baby doll.” he grumbled against your lips. He didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon, not when you felt this good around his fingers, when you sounded so damn pretty.
“Christ, I need you.” His words were nearly a whisper as he pushed down his jeans and boxers. He was so hard, so desperate for you, that he couldn’t hold back anymore. “You ready, baby?” Well, he certainly was, let’s put it that way. He’d been grinding on the bed the whole time he was on top of you.
“So ready.” You nodded, kissing him desperately, hotly again, panting, whimpering, the works. God, you felt like you were on fire, like it wouldn’t stop until you had him— it felt almost primal. Why wouldn’t you be ready, though? You weren’t a woman if you didn’t get soaked for Dean Winchester.
“M’ gonna take care of you, baby girl, I will.” He muttered against your lips, taking deep breaths. The words came out in a near growl and a grunt, he was hungry for you, starved, so he’d let you kiss him breathless, and he’d kiss you back just as fiercely as you.
He needed to give you the relief you needed, the pleasure, the release. He still rubbed at your pussy, all while he continued kissing you, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip.
You moaned against his lips, nails raking down his back, leg hooking over his hip— fuck the cure, fuck Sammy (though the poor guy deserves more credit), you just needed this right now, you felt like you could explode. Spontaneously combust. Lit match to gasoline. “God, don’t wait.”
“I won’t wait. Not anymore.” He grunted as he felt your nails dig into his skin, and your legs wrapped around him. He was so desperate to be inside you, and the sight of you just beneath him, the sounds coming out of your mouth, they just made him throb.
“I got you, I’m gonna take care of you baby doll, m’ gonna take care of you real good.” He panted against your neck, biting down on the skin as he slid into you, his mouth dropping open at the pure relief.
Your head fell back, a long, drawn moan leaving your mouth— you swore it felt like a cooling balm had been slapped on your bodies, or ice cold water. It just felt like a splash of pure relief, and you couldn’t stop chasing it, it felt like euphoria. “Shitfuck.”
“Oh, god,” he groaned, groaned, eyes squeezed shut. He hadn’t felt relief like this in so long, and your moans were like a damn symphony to his ears. He nearly felt like he was in heaven, that you were an angel.
“You’re so perfect — perfect.” He panted against your skin, placing kisses against your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder, as he found a pace. “Feels so good, darlin’, good girl.” It took all the effort in the world for him to not just lose himself and start pounding into you, just to say.
Good girl? You could’ve come right there. Squirted, even.
But no. Your leg hitched higher on his hip, clutching at his shoulder and at the headboard, your forehead pinched, eyes closed as you just felt it, couldn’t stop feeling, desperately letting shameless moans slip past your lips— as if you could control those.
“Yeah, that’s it — give it to me, baby.” he panted, his eyes taking in the sight of you, how you were falling apart. “Take it, take it all, just let me do all the work, yeah, good girl.” One of his hands trailed down your body, to the back of your thigh, holding it up, using it as leverage to push into you.
He wouldn’t last long, he couldn’t. Not with the sounds coming out of your mouth, the way you looked. “You’re so damn pretty when you give it up, baby.”
“Dean,” You couldn’t help but moan, over and over, paired with the occasional shameless “yes”, eventually bringing him in for a hungry, sloppy kiss, feeling the pendant on his necklace cool against your skin.
“Ah—” he groaned against your lips, his kisses almost violent, more teeth than tongue than anything else. God, his name on your pretty lips was sinful, but he wanted to hear it again and again.
His hands continued to touch you everywhere they could, not missing a curve or angle, and just taking in the pure ecstasy of it all. “You look so perfect like this — all for me.” he panted against you, the coolness of the amulet was almost refreshing against his over-heated skin, he’ll had to admit, and seeing it between your tits? God, another bonus.
Ooh, an idea. You used your leg hooked around his waist, plus some hunter training, rolling you both over, immediately gripping the shitty-ass fabric and plush of the pillow so you could begin to move up and down, hitting that angle without missing a beat. “Sh—Shit.”
Oh, oh wow, he had to take a few deep breaths. He didn’t expect you to suddenly roll the two of you over but he certainly wasn’t complaining. You looked so damn perfect on top of him, like a goddamn dream. He gripped onto your hips, helping you move, a moan leaving his lips as you kept up the pace.
“That’s it baby doll, good girl—“ he couldn’t help but babble. “Can’t keep my hands off you.” He panted, staring up at you. “Doing all the work, look at you— I ain’t gonna last, sweetheart, please tell me you’re almost there.”
“M’ almost there.” The sentence came out as a moan, seeing him in his glory, amulet on his chest, all ridges of muscle and soft skin, your other hand gripping the headboard as you moved, assisted by his hands on your hips, calloused pads of his fingers pressing into your skin. “P—Please, baby, a—almost there, so, so close—”
“Just— just come with me, please— please—” He panted, his hands gripping your hips so tight, he knew that he’d leave marks, but he’d deal with it later. Right at that moment, he was just lost in the feeling.
“Come on, give it to me, baby, I wanna see it, wanna feel it.” He was desperate, but a gentleman, he wanted you to reach it first. You were absolutely too gorgeous for words, and he was nearly going feral— his mouth went dry. “Good girl, good girl, good girl, c’mon — oh, c’mon—”
The coil in your stomach snapped as you came, pure, unbridled euphoria and uninhibited ecstasy, your eyes rolling back, hips stuttering and pressing into his hands as your thighs shook, but you kept on to get him there. “O-Oh, baby, c-c’mon, Dean, please— please—”
Sweet mother of god.
Your voice, your movements, your face, it all just pushed him over that final edge, and a loud moan tore out of his throat as he rode it out. “God, baby doll, god—” was all he could manage.
He didn’t even realise his eyes fluttered shut. He was panting heavily, his chest rising and falling, the amulet resting gently between his pectorals. “Oh god, baby girl, c’mere— come here.” He muttered, hands gripping your hips, pulling you down. He just wanted to feel you against him— wait, what? The burn wasn’t going, it just wasn’t.
“Dean.” You whined, letting out a frustrated moan. “S’wasn’t enough, I can still feel it. Still feel it, baby.” You panted, keeping yourself up. Well, of course this thing wasn’t a one-and-done. You already broke all the cardinal rules of friendship without compunction, but now you had to do it again? Wow. Great going.
“I know sweetheart, I know.” He breathed, eyes opening, and looking up at you, the corners of his lips slightly turned up. He could feel it too, it was like something was missing, and he didn’t know what it was.
He pulled you down, and held you against his chest as he caught his breath. One of his hands moved to the side of your face, and he gently guided you into a soft kiss, the other hand moving down and squeezing your ass. “God, I need you so goddamn much.”
“Mhmm. Need you too.” You whined, your kisses becoming more insistent, needier— ok, don’t blame you, it seems to affect women more. “Can you— need you t’ take over, Dean.”
A small smirk appeared on his lips as you began to become more needy. “Don’t mind if I do, sweetheart.” He growled against your lips. He pushed you off of him, and rolled the two of you over, so you were now beneath him again, and his body was above yours.
“You want me to take over, huh?” He questioned, his lips moving to your neck, leaving nips and open-mouthed kisses over the skin. “You want me to take care of you?” His hips started snapping against you, a groan leaving his lips, cause oh, Jesus.
Woah, ok, you could get used to this. Especially with how you moaned, nodding desperately, leaving red marks on his shoulders and arms, his amulet touching the valley of your now bouncing tits with every thrust again, head tipping back as his cock brushed your cervix, hearing his grunts and pants in your ear mixed with your moans.
He couldn’t help the smirk that stayed on his lips as you clawed at his skin. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You like it when I take care of you?” He questioned, his mouth against your neck, his hips snapping against you, desperate to hear the pretty sounds leaving your lips.
“Tell me how much you like it, baby girl, go on.” His words were punctuated by a sharp bite to your shoulder, the other hand gripping your hip.
“Love it, Dean, fuck.” You gasped, your eyes rolling back, the knot in your stomach coming faster this time, scratching at his hips, the hot-ass dip in his back— anything you could reach, really, you weren’t picky.
“That’s it baby girl, there you go—“ he panted, his hips thrusting against yours, just pushing you closer and closer, his mouth against your skin still, leaving open-mouthed kisses and harsh bites.
The sounds you were making were just pushing him closer and closer, he was just desperate for you, and he couldn’t control the words that blurted out of his mouth. “God, you look so damn perfect baby, so damn pretty, so much better than I ever dreamed—“ Sure, he just revealed that he’d thought about this, but he still put your legs over his shoulders, leaning forward, splitting you in half and thrusting into you.
The new angle made your mouth fall open in a perfect ‘o’, and the feeling just overwhelmed your brain, made your body go positively wild, and you could swear some drool dribbled from the corner of your mouth. “D-Dean—”
Christ, he’s never seen anything so pretty.
He groaned as he took in the sight of you, your legs over his shoulders. “You like that, huh? You like it when I—“ his words were cut off with a strangled moan, you were just so perfect, he was never going to be able to get enough.
He managed to make a few more noises, some of them resembling your name, before he just dropped his forehead to your shoulder. “Baby— baby, need to come again in you, can I?“
You made a noise that sounded like a moaned yes, and you’d never known that being split in half by a guy would ever feel this good, your hands braced on the underside of your thighs. Well, that was a confirmation.
He groaned as he felt you nod against his shoulder, words being lost on him after that. That was a yes, a good, proper yes. He didn’t even know what he was saying, all that he knew was that he needed to give you it. So he just gave it to you hard, and fast, not letting up an inch. “Good girl, good girl, you’re doing so good, taking it so well, baby doll—” all the while, he panted against your skin.
He groaned against your skin, his mouth pressed to your shoulder. Hearing that, feeling you around him, he was done for, he was gone— “Yeah, baby, oh, you’re so good, so good, feels so damn good, I’m coming baby, I’m gonna—“
He let out a strangled moan, and his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode it out, burying his face into the crook of your neck, panting, grunting, smoothing your hair back as he spilled into you with a low moan.
You stroked his hair, helping him come down from it, feeling tired out— I mean, at least the pollen’s fucked out, right? Just… you hated witches now. You get Dean’s point— you didn’t before, but now you do.
He let out a weary groan, breathing still laboured and his skin was still flushed. When he came to and registered that you were stroking his hair, he let his head fall onto your chest, his head against your tits. Mm, like a pillow, feels s’nice.
“God, that was intense.” He whispered against your skin. “You okay, sweetheart?” He was spent, absolutely boneless and limp, and just content to lay there and bask in the aftermath of what you’d just done.
“Better than before.” You breathed, nodding, rubbing your cheek. “S’ not as sore as I thought it’d be, if I’m bein’ honest. But now I get why you hate witches.”
He let out a chuckle, which just sounds more like a quiet scoff, and he lifted his head up to look at you, a slight smirk on his lips. “Oh yeah? You get it now, huh?” His head returned to its original position after a few moments, and he nuzzled against you, an arm wrapping around your waist. “Not sore, huh? I didn’t go too hard on ya, did I?”
“No, but, uh…” You grinned cheekily. “Being carried to the bath would be much appreciated.” Oh, the little shit.
Of course.
He lifted his head to look at you, an entertained and amused look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna be real cute, aren’t you?” He questioned, and then in a quick movement, he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you against his chest.
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@aylacavebear @lailawinchesterr @brightlilith @arcanaa @hobby27
@lyarr24 @ximm19
@a-girl-who-loves-disney @jeneelsworld @deans-spinster-witch @deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist @kayleighwinchester
@cheynovak
special tags for my boos: @jasvtsc @deanswidow @beausling @titsout4nicholas @figthoughts
@deansbite
#dean winchester#dean winchester smut#dean winchester x fem reader#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester blurb#dean winchester x you#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester imagines#dean imagine#dean smut#dean winchester angst#dean x female!reader#dean x y/n#dean x reader#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester imagine#dean x you#dean angst#dean fluff#supernatural#supernatural x female reader#supernatural smut#jensen ackles#jensen ackles smut
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baby’s first race win - ln4
a/n: FINALLY. cranked this out in celebration.
warnings: nothing but this is short. enjoyyyy!!!!
yourinstagram via instagram stories!
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liked by billieeilish, dontshakethepolaroid, and 43,362 others
yourinstagram: live from the mclaren garage im gonna throw up i cant tell if its food poisoning or if its bc my bf has been leading the last 8 laps.
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user1: i love race weekends with yn shes so funny 😭😭
user2: WORLD CHAMP LANDO NORRIS INCOMINGGG
> yourinstagram: SHUT IP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
user3: HELP YN IS SO FUNNY
user4: no like im getting emotional….
lilymhe: girl 😭
> yourinstagram: pls come here im unstable
> lilymhe: im not walking all the way over there when ur abt to leave for the podium
> yourinstagram: UR INSANE
y/n via twitter!
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liked by yourinstagram, user1, and 45,265 others
lando4updates: LANDO NORRIS AT THE PODIUM AFTER HIS AMAZING P1 WIN!
comments on this post have been limited
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liked by: landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 792,626 others
yourinstagram: my sweet baby boy 😭😭😭 im sosososo inexplicably proud of u oh my god i have not stopped crying. lando nowins is no longer.
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landonorris: Love you baby
landonorris: It was for youuuuu
landonorris: My lucky charm!!! 🌟
oscarpiastri: she really has not stopped crying and we’ve been back for an hour.
> yourinstagram: HEY DONT BE A NARC
charles_leclerc: Deserved!!!!
> yourinstagram: 😭😭😭😭😭
> landonorris: Oh no
> oscarpiastri: SHE HAD JUST STOPPED CRYING
user1: oh my god
user2: THE PIC OF HIM FROM QUARANTINE
user3: the fact that shes been with him through his entire f1 journey…
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris angst#lando norris smau#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#popstar!yn x lando norris
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always and forever - cs55
carlos sainz x fem!reader smau
summary an instagram timeline of carlos and yn’s 8 years long relationship warnings too much fluff fc dua lipa taglist @jaydaaasworld notes i have more requests to get to but i’ve had this idea for a while and let’s just say i needed to write some carlitos fluff🥲
INSTAGRAM
carlossainz55
liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 10.302 others
carlossainz55 Always a good time with this one 😜❤️
tagged yourusername
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yourusername t quiero Carlitosss (love you)
carlossainz55 te quiero más ynnnn (love you more)
user scrolled all the way down to carlos first post and of couse it’s yn
user he’s always been so in love with her is so cute
user so pretty
april 20, 2016
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, yourbsf and 4.291 others
yourusername Feliz cumpleaños a mi persona favorita 💕😘 #birthdayboy (Happy birthday to my favorite person)
tagged carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 muchas gracias preciosa 💓😘 thank u so much beautiful
yourusername por muchos más cumpleaños juntos 💘 here’s to many more birthdays together
yourbsf feliz cumpleaños!!
user so we are all just stalking their instagrams after their last post, right?
user how can you not
user and they posted each other sooo often it’s so sweet
user i’ve been a fan of carlos for so long and they’ve ALWAYS been there for each other i love yn
september 1, 2017
carlossainz55
liked by yourusername, fernandoalo_official and 24.289 others carlossainz55 Quick getaway to celebrate two years and counting with my soulmate by my side 🌅❤️
tagged yourusername
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yourusername oh carlitos 🥺
yourusername you sure know how to make a girl swoon
yourusername i’ll love you forever <3
user STAWWWWPP
user his caption and her comments i might die 😣
user they’ve been together for a lifetime oh my god
august 15, 2018
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 12.210 others
yourusername my boy and his new boyfriend 🙄
tagged carlossainz55, landonorris
view all 73 comments
landonorris sorry i’m just that charming 💁🏻
yourusername he was mine first 😠
carlossainz55 don’t fight i’ll choose yn anyway
landonorris damn 💔
user bro was so down bad he couldn’t even play along to the joke
user omg i never knew it was yn who posted these iconic carlando pics
user well it makes sense she’s carlando’s no. 1 fan
user supporting her boyfriend’s boyfriend iktr 😌
may 22, 2019
carlossainz55
liked by landonorris, yourusername and 368.291 others
carlossainz55 i would have gone insane without you during this crazy year, feliz año nuevo mi amor😘💘 (happy new year my love)
tagged yourusername
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yourusername gotta admit quarantine sucked a little bit less with you by my side
carlossainz55 just a little? 😏
yourusername okay maybe it didn’t suck at all 🤐
user oh to be carlos a be able to lay on yn all day long
user she looks so cute in the third pic 🥺
user from when they were FINALLY (yn’s words) able to see each other after spending two weeks apart 😭
user most in love mfs i’ve ever seen
december 31, 2020
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 15.291 others
yourusername already knew he looked good in red but thanks for the confirmation @ scuderiaferrari 😝
tagged carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 you’re making me blush ☺️
scuderiaferrari you’re more than welcome yn! 😌
user this pic is so sjdiaq
user i don’t want to speak of the things i would do if carlos looked at me like that with those big ass eyes 🫠
user yn is such a lucky girl
user SHE is lucky??!?!? have you seen her??? carlos should be thanking every god above
user i’m pretty sure he does that everyday 😭
march 12, 2021
carlossainz55
liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 456.412 others
carlossainz55 guess i’m a tatted man now, i just can’t say no to that face 😶
tagged yourusername
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yourusername you have to admit it’s pretty cute
carlossainz55 whatever you say🫡
user oh my god carlos get up!!
landonorris i don’t think that’s enough ink to call yourself a tatted man mate
yourusername maybe i should make another appointment 🤔
carlossainz55 don’t give her ideas you muppet 🤦🏻
user i didn’t know they had matching tattoos that’s so cute 😭
user sleeping on the highway tonite
october 17, 2022
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 732.819 others
yourusername how could i say no when my date looked like that? 🤭
tagged carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 can’t wait to spend forever with you mi amor ❤️
maxverstappen1 congratulations you two! 😘😘
carmenmmundt so so thrilled for you both! love you 🫶🏻
yourusername i love you my girl, get ready to try on a loooot of dresses 😅
user EVERYONE remembers where they were when this post dropped
user i remember dropping my phone on my face when i opened instagram
user i cried happy tears, had been waiting for that day for years 🥹
august 15, 2023
carlossainz55
liked by yourusername, georgerussell63 and 3.281.819 others
carlossainz55 can’t believe i finally get to call you my wife. just you and me, always and forever, te amo yn ❤️
tagged yourusername
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yourusername te amo y te amaré por siempre, mi carlitos (i love you and i’ll you forever, my carlitos)
user “mi carlitos” oh god i’m sobbing
landonorris congratulations, you two were made for each other ! 🥰
yourusername your boyfriend is now my husband 😜
landonorris don’t even remind me about it.
charles_leclerc so happy for you two ❤️❤️
user can’t believe i’ve been following carlos since the beggining of their relationship and now they’re married
user omg don’t even talk to me abt it i feel like a proud mother
september 28, 2024
the end
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#fanfiction#smau#f1 smau#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#scuderia ferrari#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz fluff#cs55#cs55 smau#carlos sainz 55#f1 fic#motorsports#formula 1 smau#carlos sainz fanfiction
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✮ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A GAMEGIRL .ᐟ ft. 𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼.
ʚɞ summary. a collection of streamer ellie headcanons.
warnings. streamer!ellie. modern au. fluff i guess? this is basically crack. ellie's chat can't give her a break. loser!ellie also if you so fancy it. talk about a strap on but it's nothing serious. ellie fights with kids for a living. wc. 1.4k
a/n. and the crowd BOOO'S... i know, i know literally everyone to ever exist on this app has their own thoughts on streamer!ellie, but i thought it would be fun to do my own thoughts on her <3 remember to support your writers by reblogging & commenting !
m.list | tlou m.list
࿐ streamer!ellie who grew to stardom during quarantine. much like everyone else in the world she had a lot of time on her hands, so what's better than increasing her addiction to gaming and worsening her already bad eyesight by staring at a bright monitor in the dark? it's not like she had much school work (she did) to care about anyway.
࿐ streamer!ellie whose fan base are her biggest haters that always clown on her. many of the fans who have been around since the start still joke about younger ellie, ellie who was in high school and still cringe when she started streaming. “so, yeah i graduated college. that's the reason why there wasn't a stream on saturday.”
[user000] did you get a degree in loserology?
[user001] bro has a whole college degree and still streams 💀
“i’m talking about my accomplishments and you guys are clowning me!?"
࿐ streamer!ellie who succumbed and adopted a kitten a few years ago, a ginger one at that. her face lighting up when she realizes she has yet to introduce her son to chat. taking off her headset (for once) setting it down on her desk, “i’ll be right back, chat.” leaving her room to find where the small kitten could be.
when she comes back, she holds the small ginger puff of fur in her arms with a cheeky smile. taking the kitten in her hands and holding him to the webcam “say hello to little bro, chat. haven't named him yet, was thinking we could do a poll.”
it was best and worst decision ellie ever made adopting a cat. the best because she loves the little stinker. and the worst because anytime she's on the chat is filled with
[user002] DONTTT CAREEE WHERES RICK
[user003] show us the child
࿐ streamer!ellie who has the worst eyesight ever. she wears glasses and still squints whenever she has to read something in game or the chat.
࿐ streamer!ellie whose desk is some second hand desk she got years ago. it’s gone from place to place with her and chat jokes that it's her emotional support desk. it's often littered with pop cans, various wrappers, notebooks and sketchbooks, figurines, comic books, scratched up stickers, and guitar picks. if she's lost anything her best bet is that it's somewhere on her desk.
࿐ streamer!ellie who swears she's not a scaredy cat when playing horror games, but the moment she hears any sound she's freaking out “chat, you heard that right?” "I'M NOT GOING FUCKING INSANE!" and when out of nowhere her character is getting chased her voice will pitch a little higher “HE’S CHASING ME! HE’S CHASING ME!” when the character ultimately meets their doom she’ll deadpan the webcam, “that game wasn't even that scary.”
[user004] whatever you say bud
[user005] that clip of u screaming like a little girl says otherwise
[user006] now we all know who's dying first in a horror movie
࿐ streamer!ellie who starts to get an inflation of views on her streams from clips of her being posted on tiktok (her audios have gone viral a few times). and who rolls her eyes at all the ‘wuh luh wuh?’ comments, “is the sky blue? are there forks in the kitchen? is the grass green? i love women, women love me.”
[user007] women may have we in it but we do not love you
[user008] is the women in the room with us???
[user009] BRO NO NEED TO LIE WE KNOW U DONT PULL
࿐ streamer!ellie who's mic blows out the any time she screams from a game.
࿐ streamer!ellie who is genuinely so shit at shooting games. chat knows that within the first few minutes without a fail ellie will get shot and killed, yet they still get hyped as ellie gets focused on the game. and when she does get killed, her hands will come down crashing on her desk, causing her setup to shake before stretching out in her chair stretching, letting her hands come on top over her headset before falling down over her face.
[user010] just load up roblox bro
࿐ streamer!ellie who hits a milestone and decides to do those ‘letting my followers spend my money’ it's very short lived because chat is just as unhinged and chaotic as her. “why the fuck is there a maid’s costume? fuck no.” and when her eyes rake over the cart to see that someone added a strap harness and dildo, “YO CHAT? THE FUCK?”
[user011] now thats just sad
[user012] AINT NO WAY
[user013] guys stop being mean :/ we all know it's just going to collect dust and cobwebs :/
[user014] ellie bitchless williams
࿐ streamer!ellie who enjoys doing more laid back and casual streams like building lego sets or setting up a new action figure. she’s done quite a few cooking streams which all end in disaster, “chat is there a huge difference between baking power and baking soda?” “i don't give a fuck if i shouldn't be eating raw cake batter, salmonella fears me.” “uh, should the oven be smoking like that?”
[user015] can't believe i'm witnessing ellie burn down her place in real time
or even once in a blue moon an outside stream.
[user016] ayeeee the gremlin is out of its dungeon
[user017] how does it feel to see sunlight again?
࿐ streamer!ellie who rarely post besides the casual spam of her stories, but is somehow extremely chronically online.
࿐ streamer!ellie who got banned from her mic privileges in roblox and later completely banned. all because she has no self restraint when arguing with little kids, “your avatar is ugly.” some random kid would say, “yo daddy is ugly.” ellie would bite back. and when she finds herself in yet another shooter esc game and a kid thinks it's smart to say "your aim is butt!" ellie’s retaliation to the critique is “that's not what your mom said last night you little fucker!” then shooting the kid’s character.
[user018] kid sounds like he's 8 MAX
[user019] ellie desensitizing these kids young
[user020] TO A CHILDDDD?????
[user021] bro can only get a kill if it's a child
࿐ streamer!ellie who thinks all her jokes are knee slap worthy, but her chat couldn't be less phased.
[user022] pack it up
[user023] 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
࿐ streamer!ellie who met you in a lobby when she's coincidentally not streaming, her team needed one more player so she shot her shot, “uh, hey,” she's totally cool right now, her palm totally isn't sweating off of her mouse “would you like to join my team? we just need one more player.” and she plays it chill when you accept “cool, cool. thanks.” but afterwards she put herself on mute and jumped out of her chair, all while her phone is blowing up with text from the groupchat.
࿐ streamer!ellie who tells her chat about it the next time she streams. “had a pretty girl on my team. i've never seen her, but i don't need to. i know it in my soul, it's my spidey sense.”
[user024] u sure u weren't dreaming???
[user025] didn't happened unless we have proof
࿐ streamer!ellie who hopes she'd see you in another lobby, but in reality it's probably a few weeks or months before she notices your handle in a lobby again, but she's always on the lookout for it. and when she does she thanks whoever is out there that she's streaming. she's solo playing this time so there's no opportunity for her to be on a team with you again, but she swears she could ascend into the heavens when you giggle at her wishing you luck in the game, covering her face from her webcam to hide that her face is turning bright red, "good luck to you too."
[user026] we all know she needs it
[user027] OKAY ELLIEEEEEE WE SEE UR GAME
“chat, i’m threw the roof. calling it know we're winning this.” ellie in fact did not win. she yet again got killed in recorded time, by none other than you. she couldn't even be upset over it “pretty and talented, damn.”
[user028] bffr u were her easy kill
࿐ streamer!ellie who by the end of it you initiate a conversation with her “i would apologize for killing you, but i just couldn't help myself.” “oh no, no. it's no problem. i’m shit at this game, it's all good.” "well maybe you could get better if we play together more?” and chat could just see the wheels turning in ellie’s head “uh—” her voice fucking cracked, “shit, yeah!” realizing she's getting a little too excited, so she's gotta tone it down “that would be cool.” smoothing a sweaty hand on her sweats. to say her chat explodes is an understatement.
[user029] WE ARE WITNESSING HISTORY
[user030] WINNERS LOVE WINNING
[user031] U BETTER DUST OFF THAT STRAP!!!!
#𓊆 𝓐 writes. 𓊇#ellieྀི txt.#streamer!ellie.#the last of us#tlou pt 2#tlou x reader#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fluff#lesbian#wlw
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Trumpism’s healthcare fracture-lines
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/20/clinical-trial-by-ordeal/#spoiled-his-brand-new-rattle
There was never any question as to whether Trump would implement Project 2025, the 900-page brick of terrifying and unhinged policy prescriptions edited by the Heritage Foundation. He would not implement it, because he could not implement it. No one could. It's impossible.
This isn't a statement about constitutional limits on executive authority or the realpolitik of getting bizarre and stupid policies past judges or through a hair-thin Congressional majority. This is a statement about the incoherence of Project 2025 itself. You probably haven't read it. Few have. Realistically, few people are going to read a 900-page group work of neofeudalist fanfic shit out by the most esoteric Fedsoc weirdos the world has ever seen.
But one person who did read Project 2025 was the leftist historian Rick Perlstein, who was the first person to really dig into what a fucking mess that thing is:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/14/fracture-lines/#disassembly-manual
Perlstein's excellent analysis doesn't claim that Project 2025's authors aren't sincere in their intentions to wreak great harm upon the nation and its people; rather, his point is that Project 2025 is filled with contradictory, mutually exclusive proposals written by people who fundamentally disagree with one another, and who each have enough power within the Trump coalition that all of thier proposals have to be included in a document like this:
https://prospect.org/politics/2024-07-10-project-2025-republican-presidencies-tradition/
Project 2025 isn't just a guide to the masturbatory fantasies of the worst people in American politics – far more importantly, it is a detailed map of the fracture lines in the GOP coalition, the places where it is liable to split and shatter. This is an important point if you want to do more about Trumpism than run around feeling miserable and scared. If you want to fight, Project 2025 is a guide to the weak spots where an attack will do the most damage.
Perlstein's insight continues to be borne out as the Trump regime makes ready to take power. In a new story for KFF News, Stephanie Armour and Julie Rovner describe the irreconcilable differences among Trump's picks for the country's top public health authorities:
https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/trump-rfk-kennedy-health-hhs-fda-cdc-vaccines-covid-weldon/
The brain-worm-infected-elephant in the room is, of course, RFK Jr, who has been announced as Trump's head of Health and Human Services. RFK Jr is a notorious antivaxer, chairman of Children’s Health Defense, a notorious anti-vaccine group. Kennedy's view is shared by Trump's chosen CDC boss, Dave Weldon, a physician who has repeated the dangerous lie that vaccinations cause autism. Mehmet "Dr Oz" Oz, the TV "physician" Trump wants to put in charge of Medicare/Medicaid, calls vaccines "oversold" and advocates for treating covid with hydroxychloroquine, another thoroughly debunked hoax:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2024/12/17/hydroxychloroquine-study-covid-19-retracted-trump/77051671007/
However, other top Trump public health picks emphatically support vaccines. Marty Makary is Trump's choice for FDA commissioner; he's a Johns Hopkins trained surgeon who says vaccines "save lives" (but he peddles the lethal, unscientific hoax that childhood vaccines should be "spread out"). Jay Bhattacharya, the economist/MD whom Trump wants to put in charge of the NIH, supports vaccines (he is also one of the country's leading proponents of the eugenicist idea of accepting the mass death of elderly, sick and disabled people rather than imposing quarantines during epidemics). Then there's Janette Nesheiwat, whom Trump has asked to serve as the nation's surgeon general; she calls vaccines "a gift from God."
Like "Bidenism," Trumpism is a fragile coalition of people who thoroughly and irreconcilably disagree with one another. During the Biden administration, this resulted in self-inflicted injuries like appointing the brilliant trustbuster Lina Khan to run the FTC, but also appointing the pro-monopoly corporate lawyer Jacqueline Scott Corley to a lifetime seat as a federal judge, from which perch she ruled against Khan's no-brainer suit to block the Microsoft-Activision merger:
https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/judge-rules-for-microsoft-mergers
The Trump coalition is even broader than the Biden coalition. That's how he won the 2024 election. But that also means that Trumpism is more fractious and off-balance, and hence will be easier to disrupt, because it is riven by people in senior positions who hate one another and are actively working for each others' political demise.
The Trump coalition is a coalition of *cranks*. I'm using "crank" here in a technical, non-pejorative sense. I am a crank, after all. A crank is someone who is overwhelmingly passionate about a single issue, whose uncrossable bright lines are not broadly shared. Cranks can be right or they can be wrong, but we're hard to be in coalition with, because we are uncompromisingly passionate about things that other people largely don't even notice, let alone care about. You can be a crank whose single issue is eliminating water fluoridation, even though this is very, very stupid and dangerous:
https://yourlocalepidemiologist.substack.com/p/the-fluoride-debate
Or you can be a crank about digital rights, a subject that, for decades, was viewed as by turns either unserious or as a sneaky way of shilling for Big Tech (thankfully, that's changing):
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/18/greetings-fellow-pirates/#arrrrrrrrrr
Cranks make hard coalition partners. Trump's cranks are cranked up about different things - vaccines, culture war trans panics, eugenics - and are total normies about other things. The eugenicist MD/economist who wants to "let 'er rip" rather than engage in nonpharmaceutical pandemic interventions is gonna be horrified by total abortion bans and antivax. These cranks are on a collision course with one another.
This is on prominent display in these public health appointments, and we're very likely about to get a test of the cohesiveness and capability of the second Trump administration, thanks to bird flu. Now that bird flu has infected humans in multiple US states, there is every chance that we will have to confront a public health emergency in the coming weeks. If that happens, the Trump public health divisions over masking, quarantine and (especially) vaccines (Kennedy called the covid vaccine the "deadliest" ever made, without any evidence) will become the most important issue in the country, under constant and pitiless scrutiny, and criticism.
Trump's public health shambles is by no means unique. The lesson of Project 2025 is that the entire Trump project is one factional squabble away from collapse at all times.
#pluralistic#hhs#antifx#rfk jr#project 2025#political science#trumpism#trump coalition#dave weldon#abortion#forced birth#cdc#fda#mark makary#Jay Bhattacharya#nih#Mehmet Oz#medicare#dr oz#Janette Nesheiwat#surgeon general#bird flu#rick perlstein#gop#coalitions#cranks
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You wouldn’t blame a crowbar for an act of destruction, you would blame the wielder. For this reason I can’t be held responsible for what happened to my friend Charlie’s bed. I was merely a tool that force was applied through.
It happened like this: Brendan, Charlie, and I decided to have a late night movie viewing at Charlie’s house. We watched The Hogfather and Groundhogs day and we stayed up until 4am. Then we were all too tired to drive home and crashed. I got the bed and the boys took the floor.
Four hours later, Charlie’s parents woke up. They learned that Charlie had people over. They. Were. Furious. Because unbeknownst to us it turned out they had swine flu. Charlie should had been quarantining not bringing people to his plague house. They ordered Charlie to kick us out that very moment.
Charlie came to rouse us. I am… not at my best in the morning hours. Four hours of sleep did not leave my disposition gruntled. Charlie began trying to rouse me to pretty much no avail. He pulled the covers off, shook me, tried to take my pillow, but I was a tiny ball of sleepy vicious rage. When he shook me I’m pretty sure I bit him.
I should be clear, I wasn’t really awake. A baseline function was taking place but no real actual thought. I was piloting on pure instinct and the instinct was: need more sleep. Charlie tried everything while Brendan watched in bemusement.
Finally Charlie got the idea that if he physically lifted me out of bed I’d go. He managed to get his hands under my arms and start dragging me off the bed.
Two things happened very quickly. My toes wrapped around the top of the railing to his bed frame, and I went limp everywhere else. Charlie staggered and almost dropped me, because holding a floppy corpse body is much harder than a tensed one, a fact I had learned from many roughhousing attacks by my brother.
He swore and then gamely started trying to drag me backward, thinking it would be easy to dislodge my toes from the bed frame. It was not. I’ve mentioned before that my toes are strong, but Charlie was flabbergasted that their grip on the bed was so strong that he couldn’t drag me away.
I was going on pure stubborn instinct. I did not want to leave the bed. Charlie was fully committed that a 90lb gremlin wasn’t going to beat him in a contest of strength with only her toes. So he pulled. And I held on.
Both of us were shocked when there was a tortured shriek of wood and something in the bed frame cracked. It was loud enough that I actually woke up. The rest of my brain surfaced in confusion to join the lizard brain whose only goal had been not to leave the bed.
I released my toes and took my own weight and Charlie and I stared at the bed.
“You ripped the railing off!”
“Well, no, you ripped the railing off, I was just the tool. If you hadn’t been pulling on me-“
“If you had just let go! What is up with your feet?!”
We griped as I readied myself to leave his plague house, joining his parents in being mad that Charlie hadn’t told us they were sick. I drove home to sleep more.
Over the years of our friendship Charlie still maintained that I broke the bed. I disagreed and think I was only the tool by which he broke the bed. Only you can decide who bears the most sin, the dragger or the dragee.
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Lance Stroll x Wolff!Reader - Social Media AU
y/nwolff
Liked by lance_stroll, estebanocon, and 861,702 others
y/nwolff went into quarantine as a girlfriend and proud owner of a pet rock, leaving quarantine as a fiancée and proud mom to our fur baby
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lance_stroll can we just stay here? i don’t want to share you with the rest of the world again
y/nwolff no can do, the season is starting back up again soon
lance_stroll i’ll quit. it’s not like either of us really has to work if we don’t want to
y/nwolff but you love racing
lance_stroll i love you more though
y/nwolff i like seeing you in your race suit too much to let you stop
lance_stroll promise to be at every race?
y/nwolff you know i always am ❤️
estebanocon i can’t wait to meet estie bestie jr
lance_stroll for the last time, we didn’t name our dog after you
estebanocon says who?
y/nwolff literally us
estebanocon that sign can’t stop me because i can’t read
f1wagupdates the best quarantine glow up 😍
vogueitalia
Liked by y/nwolffstroll, lance_stroll, and 473,926 others
vogueitalia Love, luxury, and a union of dynasties! Elegance and style met in true fairytale fashion for Lance Stroll and Y/N Wolff’s breathtaking wedding. Explore their glamorous weekend affair on the Amalfi Coast in a Vogue Italia exclusive.
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dancestroll this just called me poor in a hundred different languages 😭
f1wagupdates the only royal wedding that matters
bigbadwolff the photo of toto tearing up as he walked y/n down the aisle 🥺
lightsoutlance i don’t care what anyone says, toto and lawrence would do (and have done) anything for their kids and it’s adorable
astonmartinf1
Liked by y/nwolffstroll, lance_stroll, and 638,542 others
astonmartinf1 *David Attenborough voice*
Here we see the Wolff casually Stroll-ing around her natural habitat
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lance_stroll yowza 🤩
y/nwolffstroll you use social media like a middle-aged dad
lance_stroll you can just call me “daddy” 😉
y/nwolffstroll please never say that again
lance_stroll i instantly regretted it the moment i hit post 😬
y/nwolffstroll admin deserves a raise
astonmartinf1 thank you! feel free to tell your father-in-law that 🫣
mercedesamgf1 independent fact-checkers say this is false. her natural habitat is our garage
astonmartinf1 fight us for her then
mercedesamgf1 time and place?
y/nwolffstroll both teams get me equally and if you can’t accept that then i will have no choice but to start cheering for red bull
astonmartinf1 fine … we’ll be civil
mercedesamgf1 the enemy of our enemy is our friend 🤝
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#social media au#lance stroll#instagram au#instagram imagine#ls18#lance stroll imagine#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll x you#lance stroll fic#lance stroll fluff#lance stroll fanfiction#f1 blurb#f1 fluff#aston martin f1#f1 instagram au#instagram edit#fake instagram#f1 fandom#formula 1#insta edit#f1blr#f1edit
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𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫
Pairing Joel Miller x Daughter Reader
Summary For years, you’ve survived tethered to Joel’s side, haunted by the loss of your sister and scared to step outside of his shadow. So when he bonds with the girl he’s tasked to smuggle, it strains your complicated relationship—until the threat of losing him forces you to confront just how much he means to you [angst, fluff, 5.4k].
A/N This is some of my favorite prose I've written recently. Daughter!reader is a new dynamic for me, but it was such a rewarding writing experience. Thank you to the anon who sent this request in. I hope you all enjoy.
∘°∘♡∘°∘
𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆
It’s cold outside today. If the draft sneaking in through the windows isn’t enough to let on, the sky itself is an undeniable sign. There’s no blue, no clouds that can be distinguished from the next. The entire expanse is a pale white sheet. As if the heavens have decided to shield earth from its view because of how far it’s fallen.
Nevertheless, life in the Boston Quarantine Zone labors on. Day after soulless day, rain or shine. Like a well-oiled machine who’s battered parts of flesh and blood refuse to lay down and die.
The glass of the living room window is cool against your forehead as you gaze outside. Everything is dull. Brick, metal, concrete, and endless earthtones constitute the expanse of buildings that seemingly stretch for miles. However, after having explored every corner of this walled city, you know it’s finite. A mere portion of a much larger world trying to find its footing again.
The people walking on the sidewalks below look small from the height of your apartment. All seeming to move on a droning autopilot, clad in worn clothes that likely belonged to ten other people before them.
With a sigh, you step away from the window and plop back down on the couch. The coffee table is cluttered with stained, old papers and trinkets, but you reach for the stack of Polaroids you’d previously been flipping through. Each photo and caption transports you back to a past moment in time...
tea for two ♡ March 13, 2003
A day that seems closer than it actually is, now confined to a single, glossy frame. The white border has faded to beige and the picture itself no longer bears its original saturation. In it, you and Sarah are wrapped in each other’s arms, dressed like princesses for the tea party you invited her to.
You were her three-year-old shadow, and even though you got on her nerves half the time, she found it hard to say no to you. Everybody in the Miller household did.
lake day!!! July 4, 2003
A sunny day. You, Sarah, and Joel are squinting into the light but smiling, your backs to the lake. Later that night, according to Joel’s retelling, you cried because of the colorful, celebratory explosions bursting amid the night sky.
dad’s getting old (jk ily dad) September 26, 2003
Joel’s smile is shy as he sits at the kitchen table with a cone birthday hat on his head. Sarah was the one behind the lens while you clung to her leg, both you and Tommy making goofy faces in hopes of making Joel smile wider.
He turned thirty-six that day. By that evening, everything had changed. Not just because of the outbreak, but because Sarah, who had been a light in so many of the photos, was gone too. A few months after her fourteenth birthday, no less.
It feels strange being twenty-three now. An age she never got to see—
The faint metallic clinking of a belt being fastened prompts you to curiously stand to your feet. After setting down the photos, you saunter to the hallway, where there’s a straight view to Joel’s bedroom. The door is cracked, and warm lamplight pours out to light the end of the hall. With each step closer you take, the old, wooden floorboards creak.
When you make it to the door, you rap your knuckles against it a few soft times. There’s shuffling on the other side.
You knock again when there’s no response. “Dad?”
“What’s up?” he doesn’t say it in a clipped, annoyed way so you know he hadn’t heard your previous knocking.
“Can I come in?”
He’s quiet for a beat. “I’m finishing up getting dressed. But yeah.”
Inside, the bed still isn’t made. He’s standing in front of the full body mirror leaning against the wall. The paint of the gold trim around it is peeling, revealing the dark aluminum beneath. The glass itself is a bit foggy with stubborn grime that refuses to be scrubbed away. And right in the middle, at the same height that Joel stands, is a sizable spiderweb crack that makes his face look fragmented unless he bends down or shifts to either the left or right.
Right now, he doesn’t seem to mind the distortion of his face, more interested in assessing his clothes. When you step up behind him, a little to the right, your entire body looks whole. Face and all.
His eyes briefly flick to you as he continues to button the rest of his olive colored shirt. When he’s finished, he sucks in his stomach and pushes down the waistband of his dark jeans to rest at a more comfortable place on his hips.
It isn’t until then that you notice a small portion of the back of his shirt is flipped up, the fabric thick enough to hold its place. You reach out to smooth it down. Joel hums in realization.
“Thanks,” he mumbles.
“Yep,” you murmur. “I thought you were off today.”
Turning around and brushing past you, he sits in the accent chair to put on his boots. A grunt escapes him with the effort of leaning down. You watch as his thick, battered fingers fumble with the laces until they produce two neat bows. He sits back with a sigh when he’s done, running a hand through his fluffy, silvering hair.
“I’m meeting with Marlene,” he says. The way you frown tells him that’s not a good thing, or nearly enough information. “Tess will be there too. It’s looking like we might be able to get that car battery we need to set out for Tommy.”
You process that information with a slow nod. The idea of finding him feels elusive these days.
A few weeks ago, Marlene told Joel she knew a couple guys who could provide resources. At various points in the months prior, she claimed the very same thing. Every promise she made fell flat because those said contacts either died or backed out of the negotiation. Yet, Joel held out hope every time.
It used to be you who accompanied him whenever he went to meet with Marlene, but it’d gotten to the point where you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her or stand seeing her face.
But Joel still did. For the sake of his own conscience. For Tommy.
After standing from the chair, he fishes into his back pocket for a red cardstock meal card. When you reach out to take it from him, he doesn’t let go, instead opting to look directly into your eyes.
“Want you to meet us for lunch at the northern dining commons at noon. We should be done by then,” he says, waiting for you to nod so he knows you’re tracking.
“Don’t leave before then, alright? It’s getting crazier out there. Don’t know if it’s ‘cause summer’s coming or what.”
“I won’t,” you insist.
When you try to take the card again, he holds onto it just for the sake of coaxing a smile out of you. It doesn’t quite meet your eyes, but it’s enough to tie him over for now. He lets go of it just as you’re in the middle of pulling, and the lack of resistance makes you stumble backwards. The sound of amusement he huffs out earns him a light punch to the shoulder.
“I mean it, though.” He points a finger. “Don’t leave till it’s time, alright? We’ll fill you in on everything then.”
Rolling your eyes, you follow him back out into the living room. “I already said I wouldn’t.”
“Well, reiterating is my job.”
Those are the words he leaves you with before heading out the door.
A few hours later, when the clock strikes twelve, you’re eating at the dining commons alone. Anxiousness prickles beneath your skin. You soothe yourself as chatter and the clinking of silverware float up all around you…
Everything’s fine. Joel’s alright. Tess is alright. Just finish eating and go home.
•••
Sunset paints the sky that evening. The clouds that lingered all day have finally made way for an expressionist ombre of blue, pink, and orange. It's beautiful in a way that would’ve been worth photographing once upon a time.
All you can think about is the fact that Joel hasn’t returned.
A little past seven, voices arise in the hallway. They’re hushed and somewhat frustrated, one of them undeniably belonging to Joel. By the time keys hastily begin jingling in the door, you’re popping to your feet from the couch. A second later, it swings open with enough force that it hits the neighboring wall.
“Get inside,” Joel orders. You can’t see him from where you’re standing.
You can’t see anybody.
“I don’t have to keep listening to you,” quips a tight, youthful voice. “Whatever happened to stranger danger?”
“Move, Ellie,” Joel says. “Before I make you.”
A young girl wearing a backpack trudges into the apartment with a scowl. After looking around the bleak accommodation, her eyes settle on you. The air falls silent. You note the wispy flyaways escaping her short ponytail, the slight redness to her eyes like she’s been either crying or rubbing them.
Ellie sizes you up in return. You can see it in the calculated rove of her dark gaze, the way she squares her shoulder to match your guardedness.
She eventually whips her attention back to Joel. “Who the hell is she?”
“Told you I didn’t live alone.” That’s all he gives her before redirecting his attention to you. He seldom reveals the entirety of what he’s feeling in a given moment, but you can see the guilt weighing down on his shoulders. “I—”
“You missed lunch.”
He runs a heavy hand down his face. “I know.”
The girl looks between the two of you with owl-like attentiveness that borders on amusement. At least she wasn’t the only one having a shitty day. Outside, shouting voices arise in the distance. Glass bottles break.
“Dad. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Ellie’s eyes widen at the revelation.
Joel doesn’t say anything because you’re staring daggers straight into his very being.
“I’m immune to the virus,” she speaks up. There’s a hint of pride in her tone, like she’s looking past the present to some undefined future in which she saves the world.
“He’s gonna take me to the people who can find the cure. Then you guys are gonna go find Timmy or whatever—Tommy.”
It’s an oversimplification, but Joel doesn’t have the energy to expound right now. Not when you look like you would lunge for him if it wasn’t for the girl.
•••
Later that night, he sees the first shove coming. Your eyes darken until you’re no longer able to constrain your frustration to a mere look. It frustrates you all the more when he doesn’t budge. So you do it again, pushing both your hands straight into his chest.
All he does is take a single step backwards to create distance, hands raised in surrender. The fact that he isn’t reacting makes more heat consume your face.
Until, finally, he grabs your wrists.
“Are you done acting like a child?” he asks.
“As soon as you quit treating me like one,” you bark. “All you do is give orders and break promises, and I’m supposed to keep following you around like a dog.”
“I don’t see any shackles.”
“Because it’s you,” you retort, attempting to pull away from his light hold. “You’re the shackles, the prison guard, and the key.”
Those words make him drop your wrists as if you’ve stung him with poison. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed and drops his head into his hands with a heavy sigh. The mattress creaks under his weight. In the new silence, you stand and stare at him as your breaths even out.
Neither of you are aware that Ellie has her ear pressed to the other side of the bedroom door, listening.
When he lifts his head, only then are you aware of how tired and worn down he looks. His hair is more disheveled than it was this morning. The same hair you used to playfully run your fingers through and litter with sparkly hair clips. Except now, his face is void of a smile.
“I’m sorry about lunch, alright?” His dark eyes search yours for any inkling of forgiveness. He knows he scared you. That’s what’s beneath your anger. “I didn’t know I was gonna get held up like that.”
Joel Miller was a lot of things, but a pushover wasn’t one of them.
If he really wanted to, he could’ve at least come to the dining commons to explain. Or ignore Marlene’s request entirely, and force her to find someone else to smuggle the girl. Even Tess had refused to involve herself in the escape plan because she feared it would be all risk and no reward.
“What happens if these guys turn out to be dead too?” You ask Joel, voice softer than before. “What if this is yet another exchange that falls through?”
He knows you have a point. He also knows he has a brother out there miles away who recently sent him a signal.
“If there’s a chance, I gotta take it,” he says. “And if we get out there and nobody’s waiting for us, we’re heading to Wyoming anyway.” He meets your gaze.
You swallow and blink in surprise. “Really?”
“I’m done waiting around for the right time,” he says, voice low but firm. “It’s never gonna come. Gotta forge it ourselves.”
He sounds sure. Right now, you could use something to believe in. And if nothing else, a change of scenery from the city walls you’ve been confined within for far too long.
•••
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑
𝐈.
The Capitol Building is empty when you arrive, no sight of the men who were supposed to take Ellie and give you and Joel the supplies you need to carry on. For a while, the three of you linger hopefully on the inside, where grass grows through the chipped marble floors. The only people who eventually arrive are ridden with the virus, their rotting bodies infested with fungus from the inside out.
You promptly flee the scene after swallowing disappointment like a pill.
𝐈𝐈.
The front door of Bill and Frank’s house is unlocked when you arrive in the desolate suburbia. Dead grass and tall weeds constitute the yard. The flower beds out front have long wilted. That’s enough for you to know that they’re either dead or gone. Joel pushes into the house anyway, with you and Ellie trailing behind. Bill left a note behind. They’re dead. Ellie asks questions about them that Joel thoughtfully answers.
The three of you take turns showering, then leave.
𝐈𝐈𝐈.
By early August, the trio feels more like a unit, having been bound together by shared letdowns and long nights under the stars. Some days, you don’t know where you are until coming across specific landmarks or recognizable cliffs. You and Joel teach Ellie how to shoot because she wouldn’t stop begging. Most days, as you’re making progress towards Wyoming, it’s the two of you trailing behind Joel, who often shoots unreadable glances over his shoulder to make sure you’re keeping up.
Sometimes he lets down his walls to offer a small smile.
•••
𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋
All around, tall trees stretch towards the sky, bearing vibrant leaves beginning to change colors. Every so often, a breeze rolls through and ruffles them. The same mourning dove has been calling out into the wind with no response in return. It’s a tune that filled the mornings of your childhood back when you were on the road to Boston with Joel. You hadn’t heard it much since.
Twigs and leaves crunch beneath your boots as you squat to lower your fingertips into the creek. The water is cool against your skin, and clear enough to see the rocks at the bottom. When you stand up, you startle at the sight of Ellie standing a few yards away. She takes a few apologetic steps back, almost tripping over herself.
Further away, Joel sits with his back propped against a tree as he reorganizes the contents of his backpack.
“Jesus, El,” you sigh, pressing a hand to your chest over your heart.
Ellie no longer seems sure of her reason for approaching you. There were times when she didn’t look her age—whether it be her stare or the way she carried herself—but this wasn’t one. Now, an air of self-consciousness surrounds her, like she’s caught between knowing nothing and everything all at once.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me,” she rushes out. There’s a pang of guilt when you realize she thinks you’re angry.
“No, it’s fine,” you insist, softening your tone. “I’ve just been in my head.”
She nods and feels more comfortable to step up alongside you.
“I’ve seen those pictures you’ve been looking at.” She continues when you don’t say anything, “Was that your sister?”
Neither you or Joel have brought her up, but your silence is an answer.
“What was she like?”
“I don’t remember much.”
Only bits and pieces. The larger gaps have been filled in by Joel over the years. He never talks about Sarah at length, but sometimes he’ll see something or you’ll make an expression that reminds him of her. That usually prompted him to tell a short story. Oftentimes, without meeting your eyes because he was too busy trying to busy his restless hands. Talking about her always makes him fidget.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know what it’s like to lose someone.”
Ignoring her, you ask, “Did Joel say when we were gonna start back hiking?”
Embarrassed, Ellie clears her throat and shakes her head no. “Why do you use his first name like that?” You almost hadn’t realized.
“Force of habit.” Her brows have furrowed in confusion, so you explain, “Half the time, people in the QZ only listened to me when I threw his name in the mix. It holds a lot of weight among certain groups these days.”
“Like he’s the boogeyman or something?”
You allow a small chuckle to escape at her words. She feels like it earns her a place back in your good graces. Pride glimmers in the grin that stretches across her face.
“Something like that,” you agree.
The familiar crunch of leaves rises as Joel makes the short venture over to the two of you. When he sees the fleeting smiles on your faces, he clears his throat and waits to see if he’ll be invited into whatever small moment of amusement had arisen. He seems to have just missed it.
“Speaking of the devil,” Ellie says,
Joel frowns, remaining quiet as he walks up to the edge of the creek. He stares into the bottom for a few thoughtful seconds. Both of you watch as he squats down to splash his face with water, humming with refreshment.
Ellie no sooner moves to copy him. She laughs, a bubbly surprised sound, as she stands with her face dripping and eyes squeezed shut.
“Wait, how do I—”
“Use your shirt,” Joel quips lightly.
“Oh, yeah!” She uses her shirt to dry her eyes just as he had.
The chuckle that rumbles through Joel’s chest is a sound you haven’t heard in a while. It makes you stand up straighter, unconsciously shifting his way as if the sound has the power to heal that part of you that misses him even when he’s within reach. Misses how things were before he grew hard and consumed with the need to survive.
You didn’t fault him for it, though.
What’s become increasingly clear, however, is that need was born as much out of spite as it was out of the pure, unadulterated will to live. The end of the world took Sarah, and to Joel, ensuring the two of you endured no matter what was his fuck you to the universe. His proof that everything he cared about couldn’t be ripped from his hands. It was a muddled labor of love.
But right here, right now, he’s laughing. Not urging silence or trying to instill a survival lesson. He’s letting the moment wash over him for what it is. There you stand watching the two of them like a mere onlooker frozen in place. The entire scene is reminiscent of a different time. A different Joel.
Something heavy and bitter settles in your stomach at the sight of their twin smiles.
“Are you gonna try it?” Ellie asks like she’s referring to some grand experience.
“It’s just water,” you say flatly.
Face falling, Ellie looks to the ground as if the bridge connecting you two had been burned yet again. Something protective flares in Joel’s chest.
He gives you a pointed look. “You feelin’ alright?”
“I’m great. Grand even.”
The air shifts, levity disappearing like a vapor. All three of you can feel it.
“Let’s keep moving then.”
For weeks, you keep it moving. Through rain, shine, and snow. The closer you get to Wyoming, the further away you drift from Ellie and Joel. Like you’re the corner piece of an island that’s been chipped away from the larger landmass.
𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑
Arriving at the Jackson commune does little to mend things back to the way they were. Some days pass by with more conversation and laughter between the three of you than others. Coming here had been the very thing you longed for, right alongside Joel. But tonight, as you fold clothes at the secondhand store where you volunteer, you wonder what there is to dream about now.
You don’t know what you like or want. You were so young when the outbreak began that Joel’s practices and motivations became your own. You don’t know where he ends and you begin, and the inability to distinguish makes a part of you resent him.
The bells above the door jingle as Ellie enters with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Half of her hair is pulled into a ponytail, while the other falls in loose waves just past her shoulders. For once, it looks like she brushed it properly.
You see more of her than Joel these days.
“Hey, I’m gonna go over to Dina’s,” she says as she pads over to you. “Joel’s not home yet so I figured I’d come tell you.” She absentmindedly runs her hand over the cashmere sweater you’d folded minutes prior to her arrival.
You set down the pair of jeans you just finished folding. “He’s not?”
“No,” she says, unphased. “Probably went straight to the dining hall.”
A dull, gnawing sense of worry arises in your chest. Ellie can’t see it or feel it herself, still tending to believe Joel was somehow invincible. That every time he went out for patrol, he was bound to return because that’s what he’d proven to her so far.
“Be safe, okay?” you tell her. “Thanks for letting me know.”
When she leaves, you head to the store owner in the back room. He’s rummaging through a huge box of donated items.
“Hey, Stewart?”
There’s a click as two glasses knock into one another. “Goddammit—what?” He straightens up to turn around and face you.
He has a head full of wiry gray hair and his glasses are crooked on his nose. There’s a light sheen of sweat beading on his forehead.
“You alright back here?” you tease lightly. He grumbles and waves you off. “Would it be okay if I clocked out early? Natalie and Craig are out there, so you’ll still have help until closing.” It’s been pretty slow this evening anyways. No chance a random rush would occur.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want, kid.” He huffs and looks back down at the box. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”
“You’re the best, Stew.” You flash him a playful smile.
Outside, you shiver at how cold it’s grown. Crossing your arms over your chest does little to alleviate the creeping chill. The first snow of the season has yet to fall, but you can feel it lingering in the crisp air. Nevertheless, Jackson Hole is buzzing. People of all ages flit in and out of shops and gathering spaces. Everywhere you look, there’s a friendly face, if not an actual friend.
This time of year, the entire commune is reminiscent of those cute Christmas village displays. Plush wreaths with red bows hang on wooden posts, and colorful fairy lights shine all around. The most activity buzzes over at the dining hall. Families talk and laugh on the benches outside, and you can see people walking around inside through the windows.
As you head that way, the two men standing on the patrol office porch capture your attention. It was probable that Joel was inside either logging or assessing his hours.
When you make it to the building, you recognize the taller man as Cameron, someone who often partnered with Joel because they had the same, collected, no-nonsense way about them. They automatically nod to you in greeting, but their lips are set in firm lines like they have news you don’t.
You offer a shaky smile back as a lump forms in your throat, “Evening.”
Your heart rate speeds up as Cameron opens the door for you. Inside, six men stand circled around Tommy, who’s tone is firm as he talks with his hands. Some have rifles slung over their shoulders, and others have pistols on their hips. Standing among the group is Lyle, a younger guy who was scheduled to be Joel’s partner today.
The only person missing is Joel.
You allow your eyes to rove over the plaques, portraits, and retired weaponry decorating the walls as you await the end of Tommy’s lecture.
“Let what happened out there today be a lesson—” Tommy stops talking when his eyes fall on you, and other heads turn to look your way. A few throats are cleared, necks are scratched.
“Hold on a second, fellas.” He breaks out of the circle and heads towards you, cowboy boots clunking against the wood floorboards. There’s a rifle draped across his body like he’s ready for action.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to gather what this meeting is all about. Everybody has discretely turned to look at the two of you.
“Tommy…”
“Why don’t we step outside for a second, yeah?” He places a gentle hand at the small of your back to guide you back out into the cold. Cameron and his buddy slip inside out of respect for your privacy.
“What’s going on, Tommy?”
He wrestles with how to answer. You see it in his dark eyes, the way he shifts his stance. His cheeks are a bit flushed.
“Joel hasn’t made it back,” he breathes. “Lyle made it in without him around an hour ago. Said they ran into some disgruntled nomads and got split up,” he says. “Got a few people out looking for him now, and I’m about to go out myself.”
How foolish you’ve been acting these past several weeks hits you all at once. Everything from purposely distancing yourself from Joel, to occasionally ignoring him whenever he tried to ask how you’ve been—you’d made a point to be away from the house as much as possible. Most of all, it’d been foolish to pretend he wasn’t one of the only people in the world you wouldn’t be able to live without.
A stinging sensation pricks in your eyes, but no tears form. You don’t have it in you to cry. Helplessness crashes down on you in the form of frustration.
“What do you mean came back without him?” you ask. “What good are patrol partners if they’re just gonna leave you behind—”
“Hey. Hey.” Tommy looks at you intently. His eyes are so much like Joel’s that you look away. “This ain’t the time to be pointing fingers, alright? When you’re out there like that and shit hits the fan, you don’t know how you’ll react.”
“Definitely not by leaving my partner behind.”
Joel had never left you behind. Things had gone sideways time after time again, but you managed to remain by each other’s side.
Worry radiates off of you in waves.
“I’m worried out my ass too,” Tommy admits, trying to assure you. “But judging other people ain’t gonna bring him back any faster,” he says.
When release a heavy exhale and slink your head down, Tommy steps forwards to wrap his arms around you.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he promises. “You eaten dinner yet?”
“I’ll probably throw up if I do.”
He pulls away to look at you under the soft glow of the porchlight. “Let’s at least try to get a little something in your system, okay? I’ll walk you over to the dining hall.” Tommy guides you that way, and everything around you seems to fade in and out as you walk.
Tommy’s words manage to break through to you, “I know my brother. He’ll make it back one way or another,”
He always did. Maybe a bite to eat didn’t sound so bad.
•••
The unyielding weight of your nerves forces sleep to find you when you make it home. Not in your bed, but on the couch as you sit and wait for Joel’s return. Worrying has taken a lot out of you.
Creaky footsteps arise out on the porch. Then the lock clicks. Neither of which you register. By the time Joel is walking in through the front door, your eyes flutter open. There’s a slight sway to his stride like he’s favoring one leg. Other than that, he’s still in one piece. You’re on your feet in an instant, ignoring the crick in your neck.
“Oh my god, Dad—thank god.”
Joel stops in his tracks as you hurry over to him. He lets you look him over as if he’s a child who just fell off a bike.
“Hey, sweetheart,” there’s a rasp to his voice.
Relief is written all over your face. It’s the most interest you’ve shown in him in weeks, but he’s grateful for it anyways. He’s grateful for any mind you’re willing to pay him.
There’s so much you want to say—I thought I lost you, don’t scare me like that again, I love you—but none of it comes out. Instead, it’s all packed into the way you step forward to throw your arms around him.
But even hugging him brings you close enough.
Luckily, he’s so tall and broad that you settle for the feeling of being safe, cocooned in his arms. He squeezes you, not in the playful way that used to be a means of making you smile, but in a way that solidifies his presence. Assures you that he’s never going to let go. That you don’t have to worry about living without him.
As your tears wet his shirt, he doesn’t ease up or pull away. He remains constant like he’s been throughout your entire life, even on the days you thought you wanted him to disappear.
He presses a lingering kiss to the top of your head and you’re overcome with warmth.
“I love you to pieces,” his voice is low and thick with sincerity. “So much it hurts.”
It’s you who reluctantly pulls away to look up into his eyes.
“I love you too,” you murmur, cheeks glistening with tears.
The tears gathered in his eyes finally spill over. He doesn't turn away or tilt his head back in an attempt to fend them off. They simply roll down his cheeks at your words. You can’t recall seeing him cry since Sarah passed away. Guilt, sympathy, and gratitude swell in your chest. For the years he’s been strong for the both of you, for everyone who’s ever leaned on him in a time of need. He never made it look hard.
“Thank you,” you whisper. “For everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—”
“As long as you’re safe, I can handle being ignored.” He manages a small, sad smile. “It ain’t easy growing up during the end of the world.” Few things ever were.
“It’s a little easier with you.”
“Just a little?” He asks lightly.
Both your smiles grow, and as you step back into his arms, every gripe and the chaotic events of the evening fade away.
-
Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. I promise I see them all.
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#joel miller#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#joel miller x daughter reader#joel x daughter reader#the last of us#hbo tlou#tlou#pedro pascal
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So~ I saw ur lad boys requests were open 👀🍵 and I was wondering if I could request their reaction if you were wearing a mini skirt and it accidentally rides up
a/n: sorry i'm late, anon! i hope you like it ^-^
Sylus:
April showers bring May flowers. As well as cool and sunny days. When one can finally shed off their thick winter coats and slip into something lighter, more colorful and maybe top it off by wearing a cropped jacket.
Y/N is strolling down the streets of Linkon, accompanied by children’s laughter and much needed heat after the long winter season. She doesn’t always spend her day off downtown, choosing to be lazy at home and recharge. But seeing how lovely the weather has gotten, she finds herself out of her pajamas and into a cute white knit top and black mini skirt.
She doesn’t do much downtown; window shops for about an hour, grabs a late breakfast and stops by a flower shop. When she enters the park to rest under a large tree with its leaves acting as an umbrella to shield her from the scorching noon sun, she spots an ice-cream truck.
Happily eating her ice-cream, Y/N doesn’t notice a couple of boys chasing each other on their bikes. They rush past her, kicking dirt in their path and sending a strong gust of wind Y/N’s way.
“Watch it!” Y/N yells after them, grumbling at how reckless kids are getting with each passing year.
“Nice view.” Comes a comment, along with a satisfied whistle.
Y/N turns, anger burning in her eyes and a stern talking to on her when she is met with a familiar handsome face, “Sylus?” She asks, her head tilting to the side.
“In the flesh.” The man in question is sitting on a bench not too far from where the ice-cream truck is, a book between his large hands.
“What are you doing here-” Y/N cuts herself off when realization dawned on her that Sylus had seen her pale yellow underwear when those stupid boys zoomed by in their bikes, hiking up her mini skirt.
A pretty blush dusts her cheeks and Y/N quickly averts her gaze from Sylus’ amused reds.
Zayne:
Linkon’s Public Library is one of the city's most prominent buildings despite libraries being an outdated concept. After all, thanks to modern technology, everything is now digitized and an individual can gain access to billions of doors of information with a simple tap of their smart wrist watch.
Still, despite such conveniences, many still seek the warm embraces of a library. A place that feels familiar, as if reuniting with a relative after years apart. Even someone who has never been in a library before, can share this sentimentality. The aroma of book pages and the feel of the leather on the tip of the fingers, no modern device can replicate such sensations.
It’s why Y/N is spending her lunch break at the library instead of being at the cafeteria, eating and catching up with her colleagues. Although she loves them and would die for them, sometimes she needs a break.
And one of her favorite hobbies is picking up a book from the library and reading about previous generations, decades and centuries and their lifestyle.
She’s currently in the 21st century section, scanning the titles of various books when one at the very top catches her eyes; Surviving Quarantine and Covid-19.
Y/N reaches up to grab it but the shelf is way too high for her to reach. Even when she stands on her tiptop, Y/N’s fingers still struggle to graze the book. She stretches and stretches to no avail. She tries to jump but that doesn’t help her wrap her fingers around the thick book.
Just as Y/N tries to stand on the ledge of the book case to give her an extra boost, warmth engulfs her and an arm appears in her line of vision. Y/N is caught in a daze as a smooth looking hand easily grabs the book and pulls it out of the row of books.
Following the arm, Y/N is pleased to see her doctor, “Zayne!”
Zayne isn’t someone who can show emotion on his handsome and youthful face but he has been trying as a small smile tugs the corner of his lips.
“You should be more careful,” Zayne says as a form of greeting, “Your skirt was riding up. You never know who might be watching.”
Flushed with embarrassment, Y/N takes away the book, “Will do.” she chuckles awkwardly, unaware of the way Zayne’s gaze darts to her hips and back to her eyes.
Zayne will take this to his grave but he was spending the past ten minutes watching Y/N trying to grab the book. Every time her skirt hitched, Zayne leaned further, nearly falling off of his seat, trying to catch a glimpse of Y/N’s underwear. And he would’ve been successful if he didn’t hear people making their way to where they are. After all, only Zayne is allowed to watch such a mouthwatering sight.
Caleb:
Finally…Finally, after six long months, Y/N wakes up with excitement buzzing through her veins and heart thundering wildly. Today’s the day Caleb is coming home after his training program.
She spends an hour and a half in her bathroom; washing her hair with jasmine scented shampoo and rubs honeydew scrub on her limbs and abdomen, shaves all the tiny hairs littered across her body and curls her hair just the way Caleb likes it.
Y/N then spends another hour trying to choose the perfect outfit to greet Caleb home.
After three mountains of clothes pile up in her room, Y/N decides to wear a white off shoulder top with a matching mini skirt.
Just as Y/N is doing her makeup, she hears a car door slamming from outside her window. Eyes widened in alarm, she rushes to her window where she spots Caleb leaning into the window of the electric yellow cab.
Oh, no! He’s home early!
As if on maximum speed, Y/N spreads peach colored lip gloss across her lips and pats a thin layer of powdered blush on her cheeks in less than twenty seconds. She takes the stairs by two and is out the door just as Caleb is waving off the taxi driver.
“Gege!”
Caleb turns at the sweet call of his meimei, her cute nickname at the ready when it dies on his tongue.
Everything around him slows. The sounds become muted and his surroundings fade away into a blur. Except for Y/N who shines like the morning sun.
She is running towards Caleb but at the same time, curls bouncing in tune with her breasts and her skirt swaying with the breeze.
Every time Y/N comes down from the stone stairs of the entry path of their grandmother’s home, Caleb’s blessed with the sight of Y/N’s cute lace pink underwear.
How Caleb wishes he’s wearing his video recording lenses right now. He doesn’t ever want to forget this heavenly sight.
“Gege!” Y/N calls again before jumping into Caleb’s eager and greedy arms.
“I’ve missed you!” She smiles up at him, “Did you miss me too?” she pouts at him and it takes all of Caleb’s will power not to kiss her.
“Y-Yeah…” Caleb clears his throat, hides his face in her hair and inhales her scent–jasmine and honeydew– to calm himself down, “I’ve missed you too.”
Pleased with his answer, Y/N beams at him, pretty eyes glowing with delight like the night stars.
Y/N leans into the hug, unaware of how her warmth sends a thrill down her spine, how his heart is beating so loud he’s scared she might hear it. Heat pools Caleb’s in his stomach, a familiar sensation that he had tried not to chase after so he gently, albeit regretfully, pushes Y/N away.
Before she can pout at him–pretty eyes filled with unshed tears– and send Caleb into a frenzy, he rushes to say, “I got you a present!”
Grateful for the distraction, Caleb guides Y/N to their grandmother’s house. As much as he wants Y/N, wants her for himself, it’s not the time…yet.
#i wanted to write more for caleb but then i remembered that it isn't just him here lol#love and deepspace fic#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#caleb x reader#sylus x y/n#zayne x y/n#caleb x y/n#sylus x you#zayne x you#caleb x you#lads fanfic
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I went out today and picked up new straw for the pea pens since they're in for the winter (both from cold and because bird flu concerns), and I don't know why, but "bale of straw" is the single scariest thing any of my birds have ever seen every time. New bedding is also extremely scary at first, but the bales... Forget it. They absolutely lose their composure (derogatory) over them.
So this is on me, that I brought in the bales in a garden cart, which I mindlessly placed between me and the garage door. I pulled the first two and put them into the big barn pen, and they actually were pretty good, only the babies climbed the walls trying to get away from the scary monster (thing made of the stuff they walk on literally every single day of their lives). So I thought well, the quarantine quartet are pretty chill, I'll just set this bale in, I shouldn't have to worry about the barn door being open because I'll just be a second.
WRONG.
That was the hay bale devil talking.
I set the bale down just inside the entrance and this action instigated a full on melt down by all four hens, three of which flew directly at me and out the door, wing-buffeting me in the face as they passed. I reached out and batted one of the three down to the floor of the barn, and walked her back into the pen.
I had absolutely no idea where the other two went, so I went over to the neighbors straight out from me and warned them they might see my birds. I spotted one on the walk back, so I called her - and this is actually very impressive, all four of these birds came from my friends in NC and they DO NOT know where they are right now, as they are in an internal quarantine pen with no ground access or view outside - and she saw me walking and flew down to the barn. I called my friends down the street and asked them to come watch her while I got a ladder. Between the three of us, we managed to get her to fly over to the pen door, at which point I climbed the ladder in front of her and just plucked her up with a towel.
We split up to look for the other one, and I eventually found her up a cedar tree in my yard, thankfully low enough that I could touch her with one of the herding poles until she got mad enough to fly down into the woods. We managed to get her cornered, and Jude grabbed her bare handed when she tried to shimmy between Jude's legs to escape. She didn't put up a fight at all, and had tried to lay down on the ground several times, so she was clearly very cold by this point (and no wonder, it's 25F before wind chill and the wind had been picking up this entire time, and she'd been up the tree with her wings splayed and her tail lifted so she wouldn't have been able to keep herself warm). I wrapped her in the towel and carried her back.
I spread the straw around and watched everyone for a little bit before heading in, and I am now a popsicle. I will never be warm again I'm afraid. But at least we got them all back into shelter, and they were all roosted up together when I left. Phew.
Here's the other pen, confused about why I didn't spread their straw around for them (yet, I did after taking a pic).
And exploring!
#i did not have it left in me to scrape the perches tonight#so that will have to be morning chores alas#peafowl#peahens#peacocks#Polaris#Aris#little bit#lotta bit#chimera chick#cici#opal#Corona#onyx#Wendy
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A Podcast Love Story
Summary: The story of Shayne & Y/N, as told through a series of podcasts
AN: This story was inspired by a request from someone that tumblr isn't letting me tag, so that's dumb lol
Also, I tried to follow the actual timeline of when these podcasts were posted but I did take some creative liberty, so some things might not match up with when the were really posted irl
Wordcount: 3.4K
CW: very light mention of smut, talk about pregnancy
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SmoshCast #75 – How Shayne and Courtney Feel About Being Shipped Together
Dating someone who’s in the public eye was not entirely unexpected. You live in Los Angeles after all. When you and Shayne started dating in 2019 you decided to keep it a secret for a while. Neither of you were ready to share your relationship with the Smosh viewers yet.
This became more difficult when you decided to quarantine together in 2020 during the pandemic. Two weeks after he returned from Australia, when you were sure that neither of you had Covid, you packed your necessities and headed to Shayne’s. It was nice being together, but it did get complicated when he needed to film videos.
Sometimes you would go for a walk while he was filming. Other times you would hide in the other room. He’d triple check all his footage before submitting it to make sure you, and any of your belongings, weren’t in frame.
One day, a few months in, he and Courtney are recording an episode of the SmoshCast. He sets up at the small dining table in the corner of the living room. You’re on the couch, meaning you can’t be seen on the camera, but you are in Shayne’s view. It might not have been the smartest decision since you’re now stuck there for the entire time they record, but you have a book and a snack, so you get cozy.
You can only hear Shayne’s side of the conversation, so you’re not fully paying attention. That is, until you hear Shayne say, “If we so much as say hi to each other, Shartney fans poop themselves.” The mention of this ship between him and his castmate has you more focused on the conversation. Not because you’re jealous, because that would be ridiculous, but because all of you find it quite funny how hard the two of them are shipped.
He can’t stop looking over to you for the entire ten-minute segment. It’s subtle, but there’s definitely a connection between the two of you. It’s obvious that he’s reassuring you that there’s nothing to worry about. You especially like when he says, “You can ship me with anything. Ship me with bananas.” And you nearly lose it when he says, “I am begging you, please, make a ship edit of me and Kathy Bates.”
They continue to talk and the conversation steers towards how fans make assumptions based on what they see in videos. Shayne brings up how people were concerned about him for a few weeks at the beginning of quarantine. He starts to explain, “I was very quiet in those early podcasts, but the reason was, one, I was not getting enough sleep. I kept staying up late,” here he looks at you before quickly saying, “playing video games.” You again struggle to keep quiet, knowing that was not the truth. Unless “playing video games” has now become code for “having intimate moments with my girlfriend”.
He continues to talk about how his setup for recording was less than ideal and finishes by saying, “I wasn’t sad at all, I was actually having great days.” Again, you share a quick look, showing that you agree with him about how wonderful it’s been since you started living together.
They wrap up the podcast a little while later and Shayne is officially done with work for the day.
“Playing video games, huh?” you say teasingly.
“Oh yea, totally a pro gamer now,” he replies.
“You think so?” you say with a laugh.
“I mean, I could always use more practice,” he answers as he lifts you from the couch, carrying you to the bedroom.
SmoshCast #85 – American Horror Story: Adulting
A few months later and things are looking better in the world. This means a return to the office for everyone. You’d landed a job at Smosh, working in post-production, so now you and Shayne work together. You were nervous about being around each other all the time, but luckily there’s still a fair amount of the day when you’re apart. Shayne is often filming or in meetings or busy writing, and you spend most of the time at your desk working on the next video.
But sometimes, you get a break to see him. Shayne, Damien, and Coutney are filming a new SmoshCast episode, and you sneak in to watch from the back. The theme is “Adulting”, and they somehow start by talking about how they interact with the younger generation. You can’t help but smile as Shayne talks about his niece, endeared by the relationship he has with her. He also mentions grandchildren, which makes your imagination run away thinking about your future together.
You stay for a little while and just watch your boyfriend. He’s not saying anything crazy, or doing anything special, but you love listening to him give advice. You also love how attentive he is to his friends, how closely he listens to everything they say. When you do go back to your desk you take a moment to think about how lucky you are that this man, with a solid head on his shoulders and more emotional maturity than you’ve ever seen before, is your other half.
Smosh Mouth #5 – Shayne and Y/N Share Their Love Story
“Welcome back to Smosh Mouth, I’m Shayne.”
“And I’m Amanda.”
“And today we have a very special guest. We have my lovely wife, Y/N Topp,” Shayne says, smiling at you as he finished the introduction.
“Hello everyone,” you say into the microphone.
It’s weird being in front of the camera. It’s only happened a few times in the years that you’ve been with Shayne. Even though you also work at Smosh, you’re always behind the scenes. You’ve only really been in videos that highlight the crew, so the focus has rarely been on you.
But today you’re finally sitting down to do a podcast for the channel. They’d just revived the podcast after a nearly three-year hiatus.
So much has happened in your personal life since then. At the time that SmoshCast was airing, your relationship with Shayne was fairly new, and you weren’t ready to share it yet. Within a year of that last episode going live, you two had gotten engaged. This led to you guys getting married, and as of 22 weeks ago, you being pregnant with your first child.
“Well, I for one am very excited to have you here today,” Amanda says. “I cannot wait to grill you on every last detail of your relationship.” You all laugh at that, knowing that while you’re sharing more personal information than you ever have before, no one is going to push you or Shayne too much.
“So,” Amanda continues. “Tell me, how did you meet?”
You look to Shayne, encouraging him to start the story.
“We met in 2019,” he begins. “Someone had recommended a book to me, so I was at the library to pick it up. While I was looking through the shelf Y/N came over and started looking through the section as well. We kind of started at opposite ends and moved to meet in the middle. Turns out we were both looking for the same book.”
“No you were not!” Amanda interjects.
“We really were,” you say to confirm. “We basically have the most cliché meet-cute story.”
“Ya, no kidding! So, what happened next?” she asks.
“Well, I had picked up the book first and noticed Y/N glance at it. So we started talking and I told her she should take the book first and I’d read it when she’s done.”
“And then he very smoothly said he could give me his number so I could tell him when I was returning the book,” you add.
“Look at you,” Amanda says. “Making the bold moves.”
“I had to give it a try,” Shayne says with a laugh.
“And it worked. I texted him a couple weeks later, the day before I returned the book.”
“I didn’t have her number,” Shayne says. “And I was kicking myself for not getting it because waiting to hear from her was pretty torturous I’m not gonna lie. So as soon as she texted about the book I asked her on a date.”
“Which actually shocked me at first. I really though he only was interested in the book.”
“Did you know who he was?” Amanda asks. “Like, had you watched Smosh or seen him on TV before you met?”
“I did know who he was. I had just started watching Smosh, so I recognized him but really didn’t know much about him.”
“Did you start watching old videos and try to get to know more about him after you met? Or after he asked you out?”
“I tried not to. I wanted to get to know him naturally, not through videos online. But there was a video posted after he asked me out but before our date called ‘Why We’re Bad at Dating’ and I couldn’t resist. And I truly think it helped us hit it off on that first date.”
“How so?” Amanda inquires.
Shayne takes that question, saying, “In the episode I talked about what I do on dates that kind of lead to there not being a second date. And Y/N/N called me out on that.”
You chime in, adding, “He said he puts on a ‘CW’ version of himself. I told him not to do that. And I admitted to being just as anxious about the date as he was so we should just forget the pressure and hang out and get to know each other.”
“Well, that’s adorable,” Amanda says. “So obviously you started dating and kept dating. When did you take the next step?”
Shayne takes this question and says, “I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months later. And then we moved in together shortly after the start of the pandemic. Which was slightly challenging when it came to filming at home for Smosh since we wanted to keep the relationship a secret for a while.”
“Yea, how in the world did you make that work?”
“We were very, very careful,” you say. “I definitely hid in the bathroom more than once to stay out of frame.” At this you all laugh, and you add, “Totally worth it, though.”
“Ok, next juicy question. Shayne, how did you propose?”
“So, I hired a sky writer,” he says before laughing and continuing, “No, just kidding. We’d been dating for a year and a half, living together for almost a year at the time. We rented a cabin in Colorado for a few days and on the second day we went on a hike. Packed a picnic, did the whole thing. And I uh, I proposed at the top of the mountain.”
“You guys are literally a romcom,” Amanda quips.
“Would a romcom do a hike proposal? I feel like they’re always at fancy restaurant or the beach. Or like, yelling ‘Will you marry me?’ As the girl walks away down a street in the pouring rain,” you say.
“Oh, a hike proposal is very Lifetime or Hallmark.”
“Good point, it’s totally been in at least one of those movies.”
“Did you like that it was on a hike?” Amanda asks.
“Yea, Y/N/N, did you like it?” Shayne says, pretending to be truly concerned and worried about your answer.
“Hated it,” you say jokingly. “No, honestly, I loved it. Shayne and I always bonded over how much we love nature, so it was perfect for us. I can’t imagine it being any other way. I know a lot of girls want to make sure their nails are done so they get that perfect ring picture, which totally fine, not judging at all. But it definitely felt right that I literally had dirt under my nails and scrapes on my palms from slipping up the hill. Much more authentic that way.”
“And the wedding, anything you want to share about it?” Amanda asks.
“We actually got married in New Mexico,” you say. “It was the central spot for both our families. It was last April, so, beautiful weather during the day. And we lucked out that the temperature didn’t drop too much at night.”
“Very nice,” Amanda replies. “Shayne, anything to add?”
“We kept it pretty small, just family, and close friends. I feel like it was a very typical wedding, but it was ours, you know? So, it was special.” Shayne blushes and you know that your wedding day means more to him than he’s letting on. And that’s fine with you. It was a private event, and even though you’re sharing your relationship now, neither of you want to give away too much about your wedding.
“Aw, he’s getting red,” Amanda jokes. “Did you go on a honeymoon?”
“We did. We went to Hawaii. Neither of us had been before so we knew it would be special for us. We wanted to experience something new together,” you answer.
“Cute!” she replies. “Now, dedicated fans know you guys are together, know you’re married and all that. But there is some news you two have to share that no one knows, is that correct?”
“That’s right,” Shayne says. He looks at you, silently asking if you want to say it. But you can tell he’s bursting to tell everyone, so you give him a nod to continue.
“Y/N and I are having a baby,” he says.
“Hell yea you are! Smosh baby!” Amanda cheers. “Congratulations to you both! Y/N, how are you feeling?”
“Pretty good right now. I’m in the second trimester so my morning sickness is mostly gone, thank god. We’re very excited, got some classes we’re planning to take and we’re reading all the books so I’m sure we will still be extremely unprepared,” you say with a laugh.
“If there’s anyone I trust to figure it out and be great parents, it’s the two of you,” Amanda replies earnestly.
“Thank you, Amanda,” Shayne says.
The podcast continues with Amanda continuing to ask questions and you and Shayne sharing more stories about your time together.
You wrap up recording by mid-afternoon. You have an appointment with your doctor scheduled and since it’s so close to the end of the day, Shayne was also given time off to join you. Everything goes well and as he drives you both home you can’t help but be grateful that the two of you were brought together.
Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: Office Nightmares
It’s been a month and a half since recording your episode of SmoshMouth, and three weeks since it aired. The news that you and Shayne are expecting a baby spread faster than anything you’d experienced before. You’d both received messages of congratulations from more people than you had ever expected: from Smosh fans to Disney fans, and even Goldbergs fans. You never imagined the amount of support you’d receive.
You had the morning off for yet another checkup with your doctor. You get back to the office early, but technically you’re still scheduled to be off, so you opt to sit in as they record the next Reddit Story video/podcast. It’s one of your favorite series currently, and you love listening to Shayne read all the stories.
He begins the third story, reading the title, “Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I’m not taking off of work to be present at our daughters’ birth?”
They joke around for a bit, and then he dives into the story, reading how the man explains that he couldn’t take off work cause there’s a project and they need him there. The wife finds out that’s a lie, and it mad that he didn’t take time off. He says he wants to work more so they’d have more money after the birth, and that the baby wouldn’t even remember him being there. He finishes by saying he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal to be there at the birth, and even blames the wife’s hormones for her being upset about it.
Shayne, along with Spencer and Tommy begin to share their thoughts on the story. You smile and nod as Shayne makes the point of, “He keeps saying the baby’s not gonna remember, but you’re fucking wife will!”
They even give reasons why they’d understand him not being there, with Tommy saying, “If they were really desperate for cash then I’d get it,” and Spencer saying he’d understand if he were terrified of being around childbirth.
The boys then look over to you and Spencer says, “Y/N, you’re pregnant, how do you feel about this story?”
“Yea,” Tommy adds, “would you kill Shayne if he did this?”
“Oh, for sure!” you call out.
“C’mere,” Shayne says. “You’re probably the one most qualified to give an opinion here.”
You look to Kiana who’s directing the video and she gives you a nod, so you walk onto the set and stand behind Shayne, leaning down so your face is next to his and your voice will get picked up on his microphone.
“What are you’re thoughts on this?” Tommy asks.
“You guys definitely made a lot of great points. I mean, childbirth is terrifying, and I keep trying to ignore the fact that I do have to actually, you know, birth a human. But I know that Shayne will be there and is studying to be the best support person. I mean, he’s read enough books about it, I think he could deliver the baby himself if necessary,” you say with a laugh.
“I will add, if this was the father of my child, I’d wonder what he actually deems important. Because this is arguably one of the biggest days of everyone’s life. First of all, it should be important to him. It’s literally his child entering the world. It’s a privilege to be one of the first people that baby will ever meet. And then, what will be a big enough deal for him to take off work in the future? Baby’s not gonna remember her first birthday, is he gonna go to that? She has a dance recital at three years old, is he going to think that’s silly and not go?”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that, but it makes sense,” Spencer replies. “He definitely seems to have his priorities and being there for his family isn’t one.”
“I truly cannot imagine not being there when our kid is born,” Shayne says. “My worst fear would be if something kept me from being there.”
“Because you’re a good person,” Tommy says bluntly, and everyone laughs.
You head back off camera as they continue on.
After a few more stories Shayne begins another entry, titled, “And I the asshole for eating the last doughnut before my pregnant coworker could have one?” He looks at you once he reads it and laughs before saying, “Y/N’s face says, yes absolutely you are.”
He reads the story which explains that the young employee ate his allotted two doughnuts, and when the pregnant coworker didn’t show up after half an hour, he ate her two as well. She gets there shortly after and explains she had car trouble and is upset to see everyone had a treat but didn’t save her any. Later, the boss pulls aside the employee to tell him he’d been rude to his coworker.
After he finishes the post the boys discuss the etiquette of eating communal snacks in the office before Shayne says, “Also, if there is one thing I know, it’s that you never mess with a pregnant woman’s food unless you want to die.” You laugh so loudly at this that you know for sure the mics picked it up from across the room.
“Y/N, anything to add?” Spencer says.
You walk over again and state, “Listen, all I’m say is that I’m mad you guys are just talking about doughnuts when we don’t have any. Cause cravings are a bitch and now I am literally not going to stop thinking about doughnuts until I get one.”
After moving offscreen you realize you need to pee, again, so you leave the studio to head to the bathroom. Once you’re out of the room Shayne says, “Hey Kiana, can I have my phone a second?”
“Why do you need your phone?” Spencer asks.
“I gotta doordash some doughnuts.”
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AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any requests for Shayne stories!
Taglist: @american-girl001 @tatumrileyslover @queenofcaradelle @1nkm0nster
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