#quack scholarship

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Amna Khalid and Jeffrey Aaron Snyder

Published: Aug 5, 2020

U.S. colleges and universities will be embracing diversity training with renewed vigor this fall.

In response to the killing of George Floyd, the massive Black Lives Matter protests and pressure from students, dozens of colleges and universities have made public commitments to new anti-racism initiatives.

The University of Florida will require all students, faculty and staff to undergo training on “racism, inclusion and bias.” Northeastern University will institute “cultural competency” and “anti-racism training” for every member of the campus community. And Ohio Wesleyan University will mandate “universal diversity, equity, and inclusion training.”

Given the vital importance of confronting past and present racism, we believe it is imperative that colleges and universities address racial disparities and discrimination in higher education head-on. However, as scholars who study race and social inequality, we know that diversity training suffers from “chronically disappointing results.” Recent research in psychology even suggests that diversity training may cause more problems than it solves.

What diversity training looks like

Called into a typical diversity training session, you may be told to complete a “privilege walk”: step forward if “you are a white male,” backward if your “ancestors were forced to come to the United States,” forward if “either of your parents graduated from college,” backward if you “grew up in an urban setting,” and so on.

You could be instructed to play “culture bingo.” In this game, you would earn points for knowing “what melanin is,” the “influence Zoot suits had on Chicano history” or your “Chinese birth sign.”

You might be informed that white folks use “white talk,” which is “task-oriented” and “intellectual,” while people of color use “color commentary,” which is “process-oriented” and “emotional.”

You will most definitely be encouraged to internalize an ever-expanding diversity lexicon. This vocabulary includes terms such as Latinx, microaggressions and white privilege.

It also features terms that are more obscure, like “adultism,” which is defined as “prejudiced thoughts and discriminatory actions against young people, in favor of the older.”

Disappointing results and unintended consequences

In terms of reducing bias and promoting equal opportunity, diversity training has “failed spectacularly,” according to the expert assessment of sociologists Frank Dobbin and Alexandra Kalev. When Dobbin and Kalev evaluated the impact of diversity training at more than 800 companies over three decades, they found that the positive effects are short-lived and that compulsory training generates resistance and resentment.

“A company is better off doing nothing than mandatory diversity training,” Kalev concluded.

Some of the most popular training approaches are of dubious value. There is evidence, for example, that introducing people to the most commonly used readings about white privilege can reduce sympathy for poor whites, especially among social liberals.

There is also evidence that emphasizing cultural differences across racial groups can lead to an increased belief in fundamental biological differences among races. This means that well-intentioned efforts to celebrate diversity may in fact reinforce racial stereotyping.

With its emphasis on do’s and don’t’s, diversity training tends to be little more than a form of etiquette. It spells out rules that are just as rigid as those that govern the placement of salad forks and soup spoons. The fear of saying “the wrong thing” often leads to unproductive, highly scripted conversations.

This is the exact opposite of the kinds of debates and discussions that you would hope to find on a college campus.

The main beneficiaries of the forthcoming explosion in diversity programming will be the swelling ranks of “diversity and inclusion” consultants who stand to make a pretty penny. A one-day training session for around 50 people costs anywhere between US$2,000 and $6,000. Robin DiAngelo, the best-selling author of “White Fragility,” charges up to $15,000 per event.

In this belt-tightening era of COVID-19, should colleges and universities really be spending precious dollars on measures that have been “proven to fail”?

[ Continued... ]

==

Con artists always find a vulnerability.

[sp-ud]

FR I wanted to unplug my computer because of the second hand embarrassment I got.

i was watching ranboos pov and i am so glad they were barely in the whole event vc, the times they were was just...

anyways enough bitching about that, woooo charity!

Tiltify - The Festival of Voices - Week of Community

[shanieveh]

REVERSE 07↺: this isn’t the end

wriothesley x fem!reader

Now playing: From the start — Laufey

“Dear Wriothesley,”

The letter was in his hand, like it was in yours before.

Your hand.

One that he used to touch, to feel, to hold.

“I’m leaving, I recently got the scholarship and I dont want anything to disturb me, not even you.”

At that time, he was filled with life, but he understood now. That life was always something he had to sacrifice so much for.

“Thank you for introducing me to your silly tea parties, as we delude ourselves to be the seven deadly sins.”

A breath, a tear, a memory.

“I know you’ll fill that party, the three of us will turn to seven. I would dearly miss being lust, and trying to kiss you.”

He continued reading it.

“So take risks okay! I know you wanted that basketball spot, so practice. Not to much tea now, will you.”

He looks back at his trophy room, one where you once lay with him as he tells you his dreams and aspirations.

“Election is coming up though, how about you start from the bottom and work your way up to the top! Maybe you can get representative of the batch now, oh I can’t wait to see you president!”

Laufey was always your favorite artist, he remembered memorizing a whole song to sing to you. He courted you for months, he loved you for years.

“But I reject you Rio, after all the flowers and songs, I realized this relationship was worthless.”

He was worthless.

He remembered being mad about everything, how can he not when he was the used to being alone in everything. He begged for you to notice him months prior, to just be in the same room as him.

Just a few months later, you came back a new person, a person he never knew. It was like you lost everything, with the brand new friends. But he will always keep his promise.

After all he knew why you had to leave, it was all his fault.

He rejected you, he ignored you, a bit of him loathe your whole existence. Wriothesley couldn’t bear even drinking tea, not until a purple haired girl told him he was allowed to be happy.

And that purple haired, turns to a whole circle of friends, one of his own.

But the duke remembers the clear words he said, running after you, the moment he read the whole letter.

“One day, if we no longer have burdens to deal with, can you finally pick me?”

One day, this isn’t the end.

Even if it meant just being friends, just seeing you from afar, he would do it all for your happiness.

He never understood why you changed, and he never understood why he still loved you anyway.

“So I’ll take my goodbyes. Thank you for the memories and I’m sorry for my rejection, I hope you find someone better.”

——————————[ 06 —↺— 08 ]——————————

the whole campus knows about your 3 year crush on the student body president and basketball captain wriothesley. you were fine with his constant ignoring and rejections until something happened, until you stopped, and a reverse took place... now he won't leave you alone.

TAGLIST I: @vash-yuu @nayukiyukihira @aethion @whodissbitj @astolary @ayayaaayyiirel @randomidk-123 @superdark-soul @sleepy-waffle @kittywagun @ceaether @ichorstainedskin @numwoon44 @eutopiastar @reni502 @fictionalfantasy17 @lucienbarkbark @kyon-cherri @huanator @jqnehr @yourlittlemissworld @zworllyx @unknownlololol @sara-midnight @jaguarthecat @we-wo-we-wo @duhsies @interstellar-equilibrium @ariparri @lolmeowing @aruatsu @k-cris @quacking-simp @vlamouren @semi-orangeapple @tamikahoshiko @imnotgoodwithnamessoidk @portgas459ace @r4yyyyy @vxnuslogy @kazuhasmaid @explosive-wuisa @falors @rirk-ke @shotovhs @aixaingela @ruhaxol @yelleloww @sc1twi @ash4ree

[zoropookie]

HOW HATERS ARE BORN (HHAB)

♡ characters — bonus characters

heizou: the most unmotivated person you'll ever meet, but only for very specific things. like school. after being pitifully denied from most of the top universities in inazuma, he decided to give up and become a police officer. until...he got fired for doing that too (in his defense, the alcoholic hit first). he was planning to lie to his mom that he was going to a private university just so he can become a nomad. that's what he thought his plan was; until his friend yanfei showed him a video of the same person who went to him to help them find a "stalker" getting coffee spilled all over them. huh. guess he should look back into it.

yanfei: aspiring lawyer that got seven scholarships at one point in her life, heizou often is jealous of her and makes it known in how much he gloats about how he has bigger muscles than her. allegedly, he can beat her in a fight, but she's not too confident about that statement (nor is he). they both got really invested in watching yours and scaramouche's beef, and started to pull their own stunts behind the scenes. there's nothing funnier than being anonymously involved in other people's lives. the funniest part? they both had nothing to gain.

furina: voice actress, opera singer, streamer, you name it. furina is a big deal, and you are in love with her. she originally started on youtube, and people loved watching her because she was a breath of fresh air. even though most of her following isn't concerned with her streaming, she broke boundaries for twitch, naturally becoming a lifestyle kind of streamer. naturally charismatic with everyone she meets, your biggest dream was to be as big as she was. hell, you wanted to be her dog. little did you know that she was right under your nose the entire time.

nahida: okay, this wasn't initially her idea, but it worked out for her. she's not that talkative in her videos, mainly because she never knows what to say, but she impacted the toy industry through the sheer amount of views of her toy reviews. all she does is show the toy to the camera, play with it a little, and gives either a thumbs up or a thumbs down. who is even editing her videos? she is. she is hustling the toy community singlehandedly. nahida definitely knows what she's doing, it's why sometimes during a business meeting she sounds so profound.

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

YOU ARE on your way to being one of the hottest streamer in your nation at the moment, racking a monthly average of 10 million viewers, but something specific bothers you about it. you know that a lot of people hate you, but there's this one account. one account that's been following you since the early days of your career. they leave a flood of rude comments in your stream, your moderators banned each account they made, but they keep making more. you are at the end of your tether. but you are yet to find out that this persistent cockroach is none other than your friend's friend (and the only other streamer that's bigger than you), scaramouche.

taglist ♡ @thystarsshine @veekoko @gumickajolli @simonisferal @kamiboo

@justpeachyteastea @feiherp @pinkismyfavcolor @aether-darling @melpomenelurks

@keiiqq @mine-lu @featuredtofu @danhenglovebot @k4zushi

@kyon-cherri @b4tm4nn @iiinaurate @quacking-simp @auroratumbles

@kookiibun @ulquiorraswife @amvpk01 @simplysm1le @h3xi2g0n3

@alatusorrow @scaranthropy @mellowberrie @magica-ren @vernith

@kabukipookie @bananasquash @suqarlaced @dellalyra @lightyagamifan

@yourfavoritefreakyhan @heartsforseo @yomishen @pwushizz @swivy123

@strxwberryfetish @ibyobi @ashfrommars4 @chemiru @ainnofinway

@agaygothicmushroom @levianamor @dragontammerz @wth121 @lylovw

@morgyyyyyyy (bold users means i'm having trouble tagging you)

[cherishmii]

STARBOUND !

INTRODUCING....!

𐙚 "Inazuma" Group chat members!

✩ ⋆ Balladeer: Scaramouche is a popular streamer known for his good looks and charming voice. His family is also famous, even His mother—Raiden owns The Inazuma corp. but nevertheless he stands out as unique. He's fearless during horror streams and always keeps his audience entertained. Often invited to host shows, this time he finally joins one as a host and meets an interesting girl.

✩ ⋆ Alatus. : Xiao is both a streamer and a model. He used to be an idol trainee but quit due to a bad company. Meeting Scaramouche, one of his best friends, changed his career path, and now he's one of the most famous streamers. They met in their first year of college, and luckily, Xiao found another loner like himself.

✩ ⋆ Barbatoes: Venti, the campus comedian, met the two loners, Xiao and Scaramouche. Venti loves hosting parties and enjoys drinking, but everyone agrees that his voice is truly ethereal. Despite initially getting annoyed by Venti, the three soon became close friends and were known as THE trio on campus—until Childe came along!

✩ ⋆ Tartagliajax: Childe, known as Mr. Worldwide, joined the friend group because of Aether. They kept running into each other while traveling, even during college. As the campus crush and a wealthy individual, Childe was part of a group called Fatui and brought Scaramouche in with him. They both left the group at the same time and are now among Scaramouche's closest friends.

✩ ⋆ Aether: Aether is the most loved member of the group chat. He originally wanted to be hired as a manager but now acts as a sort of manager-member of the Inazuma Corps. He was already famous before joining Inazuma, gaining recognition in every country. After joining Inazuma, he invited Childe to join as well, and Childe agreed because Aether and his college friend were both in it.

✩ ⋆ Kamisatoayato: Ayato is one of the most successful people at a young age, co-owning two corporations: The Kamisato and Inazuma. He gained fame for helping his younger sister, Ayaka, become the first talent at Kamisato Entertainment as an idol. He also co-owns Inazuma, where he provided funds to support talents when they first started streaming.

✩ ⋆ Rhinedottir: Albedo is a well-known artist with paintings displayed in museums and entries in history books. He also gained fame for his looks and knowledge in chemistry and science. Despite being an artist and streamer, he received a college scholarship for his exceptional intelligence. He joined Inazuma at Aether's invitation, where he gained even more popularity and began streaming.

In the field of online streaming, an introverted indie streamer, known for her quiet nature, has never collaborated before. So why now? Fans wonder why she avoids collaborations — is she simply an odd one out? When she finally accepts an invite to a show, unknowingly the guest host is a popular but grumpy streamer who often collaborates due to his company, unexpected sparks fly as she discovers the guest host might just be her future boyfriend. Nevertheless, things changed as they found out what she truly is.

✩ BACK / NEXT

★ TAGLIST (,,>ヮ<,,)! : rq still open!

@vxcmx @quacking-simp @sketcheeee @xionri @moonjellyfishie @raineyun @yuemirala @cheriswag

✩

> STARBOUND

Scaramouche x Y/N

[copperbadge]

lightwit

I love your mindfulness posts. I personally hate the concept of mindfulness with a passion because to me that's just normal being human and using your effing brain properly, but as an educator I have had to accept the fact that manymany people do not in fact have much self awareness and actually do benefit from this mumbojumbo. So, I am so glad I am not the only one struggling out here. 😜

I hope it's okay if I pop this into its own post because it actually gets at something I'm contending with. So, in order to get my research lined up and my thoughts in a row for therapy I turned all this research into a powerpoint called "Doing A Stupid Powerpoint For My Stupid Mental Health". And one of the slides in it is titled "Mindfulness: Petition To Rename It".

Mindfulness, as a term, is uselessly broad; it's such a bad way to identify a category of treatment/behavior that there appears to be an entire subgenre of scientific papers that work to create a framework of what Mindfulness actually is -- I read at least three papers, all published in the last ten years, that are like "What is Mindfulness in a useful sense?" and all of them had different answers. And because Mindfulness is now a buzzword, if you're researching it then you're likely to run into everything from scholarly articles to pop journalism to clickbait, to both harmless and genuinely dangerous peddlers of quack science. And sometimes the quack scientists are also publishing scholarly articles where they've just been p-hacking.

So I'm inclined to agree that mindfulness is mostly nonsense, but that's a problem with the term, not what falls underneath it. There are therapeutic modes that call themselves mindfulness that actually are rooted in real science. I think these should probably have a new name, like Therapeutic Awareness or something, but it'd just get co-opted back into the woo, I have a feeling.

So there's a lot of nonsense, but the goal of being present in the moment and self-aware isn't an idle one; there's an increasing body of knowledge suggesting that it's a foundational skill for emotional regulation and healthy coping. The scholarship goes way beyond "mindfulness arises from Buddhist practice" which if I have to read one more time I'm gonna throw stuff. Clinical testing is looking at things like physiological responses to mindfulness behaviors that have nothing to do with what's going on in your conscious mind. There's some woo surrounding "Coherent Breathing" and I don't trust the foremost proponent of it as far as I can throw him, but he didn't invent it, and testing shows that people trained in and practicing Coherent Breathing have better focus and can, to an extent, lower the level of stress hormone in their body. "Positive affect" (happy emotions) didn't rise, but "Negative affect" (sadness, anger, stress etc) was lowered.

A lot of what's being studied on a clinical level involves us as humans somehow activating shit in our nervous system that we have no conscious control over, the same way we develop muscle memory by doing a task repeatedly. That has measurable value for the issues I'm trying to solve, but it's not universally applicable, which is another reason so much of mindfulness comes across as junk science, because it tries to tell us that it's a cure-all when it isn't.

But there's reason to believe that if you can reroute your nervous system when you're starting to become upset, you can short-circuit maladaptive reactions and prevent it from causing a spiral or an over-reaction or similar, and some practices called mindfulness can train for that. And that's my goal, so I'm willing to rummage in the garbage for the gold.

[loonaticskr]

Art created by @techbonnie

Tiger Leaps, Marina Quack, and (Lexi Rabbit Fan Canon character) belongs to me and Project KR. You have no right to use this art or the OCS without proper permission

After Lexi saved the day, Marina was done with her homework and Tiger finished his errands. Both the trio are hanging out to order takeout in That-A-Burger and decide to go to a park for a relaxing dinner break.

Sorry, I have not been posting for a long while. The reason I was not active is that my Laptop got destroyed due to overheating I almost lost half the files but the good news after saving it for months I am now finally able to properly continue the project.

As for the art. I took a bit of inspiration from this McDonald's Japanese AD. No one made this version as fanart so I might as well find someone to request this pose

In this scenario, this fanart takes place after Episode 2 shortly after Acmetropolis is repaired. However, I have not continued it due to writer's block. Although in the original @purpleluckystar's Loonatics R Lexi's best friend is Marina Quack in the KR version I am adding a third friend for her named Tiger Leaps Episode 1 Chapter 2

The short version of him Tiger is inspired by Jimmy Hopkins from Bully Scholarship Edition and anti-bully. This meaning is inspired by the word anti-hero despite he fights like a bully or acting like a bully he is always a helpful person. And of course that one episode from Cow and Chicken: Season 2 Episode 17 · The Karate Chick because of a character named Dick who is a school bully on the weekdays and a nice kid on weekends. However, unlike Tiger, he fights any bullies anywhere he goes. But also he has a secret past behind him.

I may post Tiger's Bio soon, but of course, it will be shortened to avoid spoilers. If possible, I will also post Marina Quack.

Update: Tiger Leaps' bio is now posted

[captainzigo]

since I have been making my little pony comics for the past few months, I have basically forgotten what every single one of my duckverse comic prompts means. I had a big list full of one sentence prompts for duckverse comics that I was going to make, and I was reading through it yesterday, because I thought about making one. I was surprised to find out that I have no idea what any of them mean. instead of just deleting the list, I have decided to share with you. For what good it will do you. Think of this as a little shout out to the people who followed me for duckverse content. i havent forgotten about you. it’s also a little peek in my twisted mind. my horrible creation process. a behind the scenes look from hell. the list of prompts is below the break

max college fund

launchpad rescue hero

costco 22¢ per bite

house of mouse

door to darkness

because i’m hispanic?

donald cousins catch and release

fish wife

the greatest skateboard trick in the seven seas

backyardagins movie

evil versions boy band

gladstone gay moms

the poor part of town

private army of freaks vs my boys

you own the town. you are politics - what do you think taxes are for - not gladstone bail - id be doing everyone a favor

kids table is great actually

donald cry gold swim

beautiful gold moon

villains table

these lovebirds

gladstone can’t read

gladstone hyper specific thrift store shirt

louie seeing anyone right now?

managed my uncle’s finances

june dolls episode

may louie webs spy episode

house of mouse christmas hdl want to come

propeller cap start to turn. big wind. its a helicopter landing. thanks babe

double gay batteries

daisy likes donald snoring

if you can understand anything he says then yeah!

sora. quack pack. bald monkey

i respect your pronouns. i dont not respect YOU scrooge

why are you friends with my rival’s girlfriend

we’re sisters now too???

The dancing hacker - do you know how hard it is to lucid dream

are you guys playing dancing hacker?

how did you do that? Those dice were rigged i mean.

you guys were supposed to prepare a musical number every session

Lady in pink but with a knife

girl boss? No girl lady. But not a girl.

sephirof at the door. never seen Donald that serious in my life.

I have a superhero alter ego - like super Grover?

louie x robin the frog

daffy: i’m getting you a job in Hollywood, kid! You gonna make big times. Why? uh… i’m friends with your mom.

Duckburg community college is the only community college that does dance scholarship

duckberg community ducks, and the Duckburg University geese

in helicopter: you ever going to get tired of having our dates like this? no never.

donald take responsibility for our son! panchito what

babe your costume is terrible. why are you still in a sailor hat

tasha austin gay lesbian solidarity

hey webby! *glittery hands*

webby diary

shake for trust? glitter on hand. body slam

why did t you tell me your girlfriend is a pilot? tasha said i shouldn’t tell you because of what happened to you pilot ex. he’s still alive!

pablo: sleeper agents be like time for my next mission

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

WHATS UP T-BOYS?

donald’s boyfriends what does gladstone have against gay people

donald you should wingman for me. i thought you were gay

dugan duck is your secret kid isn’t he

huey ponytail

donald has three boyfriends why can’t i have two

woops i mexed up their super powers - let’s go, t boys! i didn’t make them trans! they were like that before, right?

your brother donald has like five partners. yeah and i’m not my brother donald. you’re right. i should date your brother donald

dewey damn girl your ass phat what are your pronouns. katy nun/ya

tying normie trans girl to a chair turbo pablo

don’t worry. the promise ring is just a tracking device

punch buggy gets steadily more and more violent

dewey’s many licenses

duck twins cobwebs

beaks: help! #911

katy can not entertain in her tiny trailer

uno gaydar donald i finally give you a job and you’re being gay on the clock??

when mom comes in and you have to hide your DS under your pillow

HDL Tulin

HDL chart

[man-reading]

The King's Assassin: The Secret Plot to Murder King James I

An absorbing account of the conspiracy to kill King James I by his handsome lover, the Duke of Buckingham, an historical crime that has remained hidden for 400 years. The rise of George Villiers from minor gentry to royal power seemed to defy gravity. Becoming gentleman of the royal bedchamber in 1615, the young gallant enraptured James, Britain's first Stuart king, royal adoration reaching such an intensity that the king declared he wanted the courtier to become his 'wife'. For a decade, Villiers was at the king's side - at court, on state occasions, and in bed, right up to James's death in March 1625.

Almost immediately, Villiers' many enemies accused him of poisoning the king. A parliamentary investigation was launched, and scurrilous pamphlets and ballads circulated London's streets. But the charges came to nothing, and were relegated to a historical footnote.

Now, new research suggests that a deadly combination of hubris and vulnerability did indeed drive Villiers to kill the man who made him. It may have been by accident - the application of a quack remedy while the king was weakened by a malarial attack. But there is compelling evidence that Villiers, overcome by ambition and frustrated by James's passive approach to government, poisoned him.

In The King's Assassin, acclaimed author Benjamin Woolley examines this remarkable, even tragic story. Combining vivid characterization and a strong narrative with historical scholarship and forensic investigation, Woolley tells the story of King James's death, and of the captivating figure at its center.

Mary & George, a new period drama which will chronicle the affair between King James I and George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham, promises to be one of the most highly anticipated shows of 2024.

Mary & George is adapted from The King's Assassin by Benjamin Woolley, a nonfiction book that details "the conspiracy to kill King James I by his handsome lover, the Duke of Buckingham."

[dumbestthingiveeverheard]

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 8/11/2023

Fifth Place: Charlie Kirk

It's always refreshing to see Republicans go back to their old talking points, like Charlie Kirk saying on his show today that Democrats--gasp--want the government to improve the lives of the people:

The Democrats, they are a temporary coalition between permanent, resentful, government addicted minorities and people that want government benefits, Xanax and chardonnay wine moms, and resentful college educated white, liberal women who complain about everything with single women, and oligarchs. That's the Democrat Party. 

I know, how dare people want a government which gives them benefits. I always love how the Republican attacks on Democrats so often come down to "They believe this institution that we pay taxes too should represent us in some way." Yeah, that seems like the entire point of having a government in the first place, honestly.

Fourth Place: Jesse Watters

Vivek Ramaswamy is currently proposing a Constitutional Amendment which would require those between the age of eighteen and twenty four to pass a civics test before voting (one wonders why it should be those ages specifically, but that's another topic). Jesse Watters of Fox News has endorsed this idea, and I remind everybody one of my favorite facts of all time: Those who get their information from Fox News have been found to be less informed than those who watch no news at all.

Third Place: Anthony Sabatini

Yes, Sabatini is running for Congress again, and The Daily Beast has a rather interesting report about his college thesis: It turns out large chunks of it were plagiarized from Wikipedia. The main reason it wasn't caught is because the thesis is so filled with typos that checking if Sabatini actually wrote the lines himself became much harder.

I should also note that his thesis is just--really bad. It's a grand total of forty typo filled pages, and is about as good as a piece of scholarship as the doctoral thesis of Kent Hovind. Although, given Neil Gorsuch plagiarized large chunks of his doctoral dissertation--you don't think--nah.

Second Place: Michael Knowles

A new diet pill was recently announced, and this angered Michael Knowles because of Aristotle or something:

Quacks have sought quick fixes to the ills wrought by concupiscence since time immemorial. Wise men since at least the days of Aristotle have understood that a quick fix will never work because the natural remedy to vice is virtue. Natural happiness, then, comes by way of excellent rational activity in accordance with virtue. 

People in his time also believed there were only five elements, things fell at a speed determined by how much they weigh, and that the sun orbited the Earth as opposed to the other way around. Nothing against Aristotle, the dude was pretty smart and certainly said a large amount of intelligent things--but he was flawed, like all men of throughout all of history, and I highly doubt he would have taken issue with diet pills of all things.

Winner: Merrick Garland

The fact Joe Biden allows a man who just announced a special counsel investigation into Hunter Biden because of a nonsensical scandal thought up by Republicans to remain his Attorney General is evidence of either his generosity or stupidity. The Hunter Biden "crime" claim is utterly nonsensical and if the Department of Justice wants to turn a blind eye to the much bigger crimes of Donald Trump while doing this--well, one has to wonder if Garland isn't just working for Trump's re-election campaign.

Merrick Garland, you've done the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[thathusenfulhu]

quid pro quo?

"They call it quid"

Startled, I look behind me and it's my friend. He has joined me in UK to complete his bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering.

"What?"

"Quid. Nickname for pound."

I exit Tesco express with the usual: meal deal sandwiches, free meal rice, quaker's porridge, quack's meal.

I might be breaching my friend's confidence but let me tell you this, eager grammers, this is the first time he has been outside of Maldives.

His scholarship and visa ensures he will be in the UK for the next 4 years and no amount of good sense can expel him. He did his A Levels in F. Nilandhoo and what could only have been a mistake he got all A's in all of the 7 subjects. Even I managed to get only 3.

"When they said there will be hot water, I really thought they meant 'warm'. Dho?" went on Jabeel.

I turn to him, impatient, and he explained it to me.

He had burned his male organ in hot water while attempting a shower.

"Ahannah varah saafu" (Here the writer must interject, nothing has ever been clear to him. He is stumbling in a forest of unclarity).

"There has been some benefits to colonialism"

Tired old me: "What?"

"For example, in the British Museum there were the griffiths-"

"Griffins"

"Fine, griffins of Syria-"

"Assyria"

"Well there's only one, so no need of an A!"

"Not A Syria, Assyria"

"Ekam bunan" (as if he's been silent all this time)

"Nothing will come close to Al Andhalus. That was the time. Anyways did you check if Tesco was halal?"

Here I must stop because my phone rings (call from my new lover who is a graduate of Imperial College London) and we are about to get on the eastbound train from Bakerloo station. No service in the underground. They call it the "tube" (pronounced as chuuub). — Saththaaru: reporting from London

[moonlessbeast]

The Duality of Days…. *chefs kiss but like evil and full of malice*

[aceyanaheim]

Gordon Bombay’s character journey from d1 to game changers is just 

[digitalmidnight]

The Loonatics Unleashed AU/ Reboot I'll never write but I have too many ideas for.

The Characters (with new backstory):

Ace Bunny: Predecessor of Bugs Bunny. Ace has always been pressured to be just as good as Bugs Bunny. So even though he is the lead role in the theater production, star of the football team and the coolest kid in highschool; he doesn't feel as good as Bugs. He's telling this to Lexi in a heart to heart before the meteor hits. Ace has the most powers, and his powers are akin to Superman. His powers are Lazer eyes, Super hearing, Brief, controlled invincibility and the ability to create objects (but all objects created are carrot based). Ace is unsure behind his leader like facade, but also knows he must protect his friends. He also is a natural leader and blames everything on himself privately.

Lexi Rabbit (changed last name to not be same as Ace, same to Trina): Predecessor of Lola Bunny. Lexi always liked sports, but above all she loved gymnastics. Unfortunately, the other girls on the team disliked her and didn't let her on. Lexi took that to mean she wasn't good enough yet, and practiced hard every day. Although she is a better athlete than everyone on the team, she still thinks she isn't good enough. She was talking to Ace when the meteorite hit. Lexi's powers is she can jump insanely high with no fall damage and can control liquids. She is bubbly and ridiculous like Duck, but also fairly smart and sporty.

D. Duck (Changes his first name so often that everyone just calls him Duck): Predecessor of Daffy Duck. Duck is constantly compared to Daffy Duck, and this has always hindered him. Nobody wanted to adopt a Daffy Duck. Nobody took him seriously because they thought him like Daffy Duck. He just wants to be himself, which is kinda similar to the newer Daffy. He was being a moody teenager and trying out Trina's new vehicle when the meteor hit. Duck's powers are "Quacking" (teleporting) and Sonic Screams (which sound like orginal Daffy Duck laugh). He is moody and a little vulgar and bitter, though he does care. He also says dumb stuff that turn out kinda right.

Tech E. Coyote: Predecessor of Wile E. Coyote. Tech grew up with his poor, single father in the middle of the desert. Tech was very smart though, and got into scholarship to a prestigious technology school. At that school he met Rev, and they became best friends. He went on to College with Rev, and tried to make a buisness with his friend, but nobody wanted their inventions if his name was on it. They figured an E. Coyote's invention was doomed to fail. He was returning from a failed sell with Rev with the meteor hit. Tech's powers are bending metal and regeneration. Tech is the same as the orginal, but with a clear soft spot for everyone in the Loonatics crew. Also smug.

Rev Runner: Predecessor of Roadrunner. Rev grew up the first son to the richest family in Acmetroplis. He was placed in prestigious schools that specialized in technology, and it was there he met Tech. Despite their parents hating each other, Tech and Rev remained best friends all throughout the rest of their school days. They went to the same college and started their own company. Just as they were coming back from another selling failure, the meteorite hit. Rev was born with his speed. Rev's powers are levitation and gps navigation. Rev has the same personality, maybe a little more affectionate and clingy to everyone.

(Very changed) Slam Manian: Predecessor of Taz. Everyone thinks Slam is a scary Tazmanian devil when they hear his name. Instead is he is a small child who is closer to a dust bunny than Tazmanian devil. He just ran away from people picking on him so they can brag they "beat up a Tazmanian devil" when the meteor hit. Before being recruited, he took down a monster with Penny. Slam has super strength and can "Taz out" where his appearance matches that of the orginal Looney tunes and he can cause tornados like the original Taz. Slam is a very nice kid, if not a little Naive. He also is extremely helpful.

(New) Trinity "Trina" Mallard: Predecessor of Tina Russo. Trina inherited her family's vehicle shop, despite being young, and frequently adds stuff to her and her friend's hoverboards and such. She is having Duck, who is her favorite test subject, try out a new vehicle when the Meteor hits. Trina can command electronic devices and can call objects to her hand. She's a standoffish and competitive, but also very protective of the other Loonatics.

(New) Penny Kittycat: Predecessor of Penelope. Penny's parents are big name actors and want her to be an actor. Penny is shy, frightened of the stage, cannot make up her mind and can't speak her mind. She just wants to do art in a quiet place, and that's what she was doing when the meteor hit. She has the power of illusions and telekinesis. She typically makes an illusion of the hero she wants to be, and uses her telekinesis to make it look like they are interacting. She is anxious and a nerd, but also loyal to a fault. She also is the 2nd most prolific rambler in the group.

(New) Buttercup Pig: Predecessor of Petunia Pig. Buttercup always dreamed of being something more, but she is stuck working on the farm. She is doing her every day farm chores when the meteor hit. She gets the power of telepathy and future seeing. She sees a future of all the Loonatics being together and stopping crime, so she goes out to gather the hero group and finally make a name for herself. She is clever, a little bossy, takes things a little too seriously and tries her hardest at every task.

The Reoccurring Villains

Rip Runner (Anti hero): Rip was always 2nd place to his brother. But not anymore! Using his father's technology, Rip decides to prove himself better than Rev (by beating him up with giant robots). When his dad joins, Rip eventually realizes his Dad isn't a good person. He helps take down his father, gives a heartfelt apology to his brother, then helps him Mom run the family buisness without his dad.

Ralph Runner: Ralph put all his stakes in Rev, but Rev abandoned the family buisness just like that! The problem? Obviously that no good Coyote! But he can't convince Rev to leave him and the Loonatics behind.... When Ralph discovers Rip being evil, he actually joins him with the intent of destroying everyone but Rev. He goes to jail when Rip turns on him.

Phantom le Pew: Predecessor of Pepe le Pew. Phantom le Pew believes his purpose in life is to rescue damsels in distress. What starts off innocent turns villainous when he believes Penny needs saving. He believes Penny is being forced to fight crime, and such a beautiful dame does not belong on the battlefield! His solution? Rescue (kidnap) her and then subdue (destory) the rest of the Loonatics! Phantom le Pew likes to use older/more romanticized ways of fighting, like sword fights. He also leaves calling cards and won't involve random citizens if he can help it. He eventually realizes he's not needed, backs off, and finds love elsewhere.

Marvin Martian: Not a predecessor. One day Duck makes his first name Dodgers, and Marvin mistakes him for Duck Dodgers. Even when Duck changes his name, Marvin goes after him. Duck later learns Dodgers is Daffy, and loudly tries to prove himself as not Daffy. Marvin eventually becomes their ally after his queen becomes their friend.

Queen Tyr'ahnee: Not a predecessor. Queen Tyr'ahnee wants Duck Dodgers brought to her no matter what. She, however, views Trina as a threat (whether in love or in combat is unclear). Queen Tyr'ahnee tries to one up her with the best in Martian technology, but always falls short. When they finally (it takes awhile, they're stubborn) talk it out, they become close. Queen Tyr'ahnee agrees not to attack them and teaches Trina Martian hand to hand combat. Trina, in turn, gives her cool blue prints and calls her face to face often.

___ Fudd: Predecessor of Elmer Fudd. Fudd has become a top hunter, universe renowned for his tracking and shooting ability. There's just one creature he hasn't yet hunted, a tazmanian devil. Of course, Slam is the most well known. Fudd relies heavily on traps. Will hunt anyone on the team. Eventually hunts bad guys instead.

_____ Sam: Predecessor of Yosemite Sam. Sam has inherited his ancestor's anger and got mad at Lexi, despite Lexi doing nothing wrong (in fact, she was actively helping others and being a good person). Lexi eventually gets him to be a good person.

_____ Pig: (Ace) Pig believes Porky should have been the Warner bros spokesman, not Bugs. Pig blames every single bad thing that happened to his family on Ace's family. He also blames it on Duck, but Ace is more of an issue to him. Pig actually isn't doing that bad for himself, he's just evil. Ace needs to convince Pig they are more than their family, but Pig also has nothing left to live for than destroying them. Pig ends up with a bakery and happy.

_____ Canasta: Canasta is now an oil tycoon who wants to buy Buttercup's family farm. They refuse and he goes full scooby doo villain on them. He specifically targets Buttercup and everytime he is involved it's a paranormal mystery. He also manages to "no thought, head empty" making it so she can't read his mind. Canasta does not get a character arch and instead ends up having to do community service forever.

Celi Eli Oh: (name is pun off CEO) that's right the main villain is a CEO. Fascinating. Probably CEO of ACME. People will complain it's not a throwback toon like the others, so I guess it can be someone's predecessor. Anyways they use their bought technology to bring the meteor over but are sad they don't have powers. So they plan on stealing the Loonatic's powers and becoming a hero. They succeed temporarily, and the Loonatics have to use with their born traits and powers as well as learned skills to beat them up.

One off shorts (incomplete)

A villain decides to make all the heroes go back to their roots so they can't work together. The women (Buttercup, Penny, Trina and Lexi) avoid whatever makes the guys turn. They end up snapping Tech out of it first, and he is horrified that he almost captured and injured Rev. Rev snaps out of it, and thankfully thinks Tech almost hurting him is a dream. Ace tries to stand up to the villain unthinkingly, thinking he has Bugs Bunny's typical plot armor. Duck suddenly has confidence and argues with Ace. They end up defeating the villain together before snapping back to normal.

A bounty hunter is tasked with kidnapping the most valuable member of the Loonatics team. They stalk them and see Rev helping Tech, gardening, delivering food around base, cleaning up etc. They figure him most valuable and kidnap him when he takes a nap. They get a request for help from Sam Sheepdog's predecessor, who is a bounty hunter. They realize Rev is missing and get a ransom call. They go with Sam's predecessor to the call location and surprise! It's Ralph Wolf's predecessor. They fight, but the two bounty hunters stop for a lunch break. During break, Sam's predecessor convinces Ralph's to join their side. It's hinted Ralph's predecessor's employeer is the CEO main villain. The bounty hunters go off together as a team with a punch of sheep plushes.

Predecessor of Cecil Turtle spends awhile trying to convince Ace he will never be as good as Bugs Bunny. Ace eventually says he's not Bugs Bunny (even though he really wants to be like Bugs Bunny. He just isn't.)

Marc Anthony's predecessor just wants to protect Pussyfoots's predecessor. It isn't easy and the Loonatics have to help.

Barnyard dawg's predecessor says Foghorn Leghorn's predecessor is evil! They get there and sike! It's Prissy's predecessor that's evil. Sike! It's Egghead's! Sike! It's Henry Hawk's predecessor. Can't everyone just get along?

Everyone is trapped in a maze but with someone they aren't usually paired with so we get that sweet, sweet characterization.

Rev's parents (before Ralph and Rip go evil), accidentally come over the same time Tech's single father does. Tech's dad learns to like Rev, Rev's father begins to put all his resistment on Tech.

They go to City/Planet Barbera, and on the City/Planet Ha'nah they meet an innocent mouse. Just kidding, it's Jerry's predecessor who is friend's with Tom's. The "prey" of the group have to avoid getting caputred by Tom's predecessor while the "predators" have to team up to catch Jerry's. If they can't, they wont escape. They obviously will escape. (The Prey are Rev, Lexi, Ace, Trina and Duck. The Predators are Tech, Penny, Slam and Buttercup.)

Pinky and the Brain travel to their dimension to try to control their own. They get weirded out and want to go home. Rev and Pinky compliment one another's voices and talk about their tech loving besties. Surprise! Snowball came with them and they all need to beat him and send him back to his dimension with Pinky and the Brain. (Voice thing is for Rob Paulsen, who is great)

Duck Dodgers shows up, wins against Marvin, and gives touching words to D. Duck.

Lexi and Duck, in similar Lola and Daffy fashion, go on a chaotic and epic adventure to get Buttercup a gift without her knowing what it is. Their minds are filled with so much chaos they actually pull it off.

Lexi beats everyone in video games, then needs to rescue everyone when they get trapped in a game.

Speedy's predecessor challenges the Loonatics to a race. Somehow, Slam wins.

Buttercup requests help for the farm. They try to use tech and their powers, but the old fashioned way ends up better. Then a villain comes! And old fashioned ways to beat them arent working so they use their usual ways.

Slam makes school friends, but they only like him in his Taz form. He gets too tired from battle and one of the other's has to save them. His school friends don't want to hang out with a weakling, but the Loonatics all be sure to hang out with him. Slam learns true friendship and stuff.

Trina and Tech both get into a fight for who makes better technology. They work together again when Duck and Rev are in danger.

They are put into a situation where they need to answer questions about a tv show correctly (made of tv show, nothing irl). They have to answer it correctly and the issue is nobody except Penny has watched it. They either need to watch 36 hours worth of this show, or Penny has to out herself as a shameless fan of this tv show (which everyone in the group thinks is dissing)

The old villains from the original Loonatics come back and they need to team up with Zadavia to destroy them.

Tweety's predecessor asks them for protection and its basically the same plot as the original episode, except Sylvester's predecessor is actually a good guy (that Tweety rightfully mistook for the bad guy) and Hector's predecessor is the bad guy working with Granny's predecessor. Tweety's predecessor is prince of his planet, but Sylvester's predecessor is his bodyguard.

Before Tech and Rev get recruited, they fight a monster. This is where they learn Tech has regeneration powers; but only after angst.

General things

When fighting, the group tends to pair up as follows: Ace and Lexi are offensive fighters who tend to deal lots of damage and dodge hits. They're first to throw fists. Duck and Trina are defensive fighters who take hits head on with technology. They have strong shields, and tend to use projectiles to fight. Slam and Penny are distractions. Slam uses his strength to move heavy objects and civilians out of the way while painting a target on himself, and Penny likes to make illusions that seem like a real danger to the villain. While they can hit hard, the villain tends to overestimate them and not focus on the actual hard hitters. Tech and Rev plan traps and find the enemies weakpoint. If they get involved with the fighting, it's to incapacitate the villain or deliver a single hard blow. Buttercup tends to stay away from the fights. She gives out warnings and instructions, but beyond that has to rely on Tech's tech to do any damage.

When they are not fighting, they are together in the Headquarters. This might as well be a giant dorm. They vibe together, as young friends do

Predecessor's don't have to be the same gender as their ancestors

Nobody is explicitly dating or not dating. This said, Tech and Rev are close. Ace and Trina are close. Lexi and Duck are close. Penny and Buttercup are close. Slam is like everyone's little brother, but hangs out with Penny the most. Everyone is close friends, some are old friends, but these are the people that hang out together the most. Maybe some romantic relationships at the end or something idk.

Trina tends to make vehicles, Tech makes weapons and Rev codes. Everything between can be made by any of them or all of them as a collab. Without Tech, technology doesn't work properly. Without Trina, technology doesn't work for long. Without Rev, the technology isn't very user friendly.

Everyone is more Looney than the orginal Loonatics, but more angsty than the normal Looney Tunes.

Slam talks just as well as anyone else. Until he goes full Tazmanian devil, in which case he talks like the Tazmanian devil.

Duck is basically every slightly depressing relatable meme. His back hurts, he makes dumb jokes, he spends too much time on technology.

Lexi is a mix between Space Jam Lola and Looney Tunes Show Lola. Shes funny and chaotic, but also a capable leader and extremely good at sports.

Tech does not clamp Rev's beak shut. Duck is not the butt of every joke. There is no token ___ of the group.

I'm not good at designing suit designs, but they should be more creative than they are now. Lexi's and Rev's should both having things to protect their feet when they kick. Tech, Buttercup and Rev should have wrist things to text one another. Ace and Duck should both have things to protect their fists. Trina and Tech should have technology built in to fire projectiles to enemies. Slam should have a suit that allows him to Taz out without his clothes tearing. Penny should have clothes that hide her while she's using her powers.

Everyone gets "screentime" and love and gets to be involved. It felt like Slam was shoved off to the side in the orginal.

This would be more of a comedy with angst. Also toon angst, not someone is bleeding out angst. Everyone has their own problems, but most of it is just them being happy together.

Jail is basically a five minute time out LMAO. Who goes to jail and stays there?

Ace and Duck crossdress at some point. I don't have a story, but I feel every version of Bugs has to crossdress at somepoint.

Sorry for the length LMAO. I had many ideas.

[tenthgrove]

La Squadra 30s AU: Overview

(A/N: So I literally thought of this on a whim and decided to write it down. You're welcome to use this AU for your own stories since I probably won't, but please give credit where due.)

The year is 1934. In the throws of the Great Depression, poverty and crime continues to be rife across the urban east of America. But as many titans of the mafia world collapse with the end of prohibition, the growing syndicate known as Passione begins to swell in numbers and wealth like never before.

The recent immigrant, Risotto Nero (age: 28, real name: Rosario Nero) was picked up practically at the dock by Passione for his formidable appearance and fighting prowess, not to mention lack of other viable prospects in America. Indeed, his journey across the Atlantic was most certainly an act of desperation, but what he was running from, he won't say. Risotto guards the infamous Passione nightclub after which the syndicate gets its name. He also receives a number of orders to pursue the group's enemies in a more... direct manner of confrontation, and there are high hopes for his career as a Mafioso owing to his great sense of honour and budding reputation as unkillable. The greatest hindrance to this goal is at present, a simple matter of communication. He knows barely a word of English.

Hoping to remedy this issue is a Passione associate known to the group by the codename Prosciutto (age: 37, real name: Christopher Perkins), Professor of English Literature at a local university. Why this mild-mannered, rather stuffy young teacher is beholden to Passione is anyone's guess, though he staunchly rebukes any claims of Italian heritage. His impeccable skill at the language, however, speaks for itself. Christopher supports the syndicate financially through his great inherited wealth, as well as providing alibis for its members, many of whom are filed through the corrupt institute as 'students.' Prosciutto is one of the few Risotto would call a friend, and the two meet regularly for Risotto's english lessons. Unknown to anyone but the leaders of Passione, is the truth behind Professor Perkins' unfortunate predicament. In truth, Prosciutto is both a murderer and a patricide, his victim- his own father, the former Don of Passione. Back in 1920 when the Don was found dead in his apartments, it was dubbed the murder mystery of the decade. The case has since gone cold, however, all thanks to the new leadership of the syndicate.

Nowadays, Prosciutto finds solace in his students, of which he hopes the young post-boy he nicknames Pesci (age: 15, real name: Peppi Sciaccia) will soon be joining. Pesci is a poor but cheerful boy, raised by his ailing mother and doting grandparents. The identity of his father is subject to many jokes in the family, some even saying the man was a murdered mafia don whose illegitimate children were all whisked away to be raised in secret, but in truth, Pesci has no idea who he is. Anyway, he recently found work as a post-boy for the university campus, catching the eye of Professor Perkins for his polite and helpful attitude. The professor now tutors him regularly in the hope he might receive a scholarship once he reaches 18, and obtain a good career that would lift his family out of poverty. A pity that Passione, with it's secret ties to the institute, has its eye on the boy as well, and is using him to carry orders without his knowing.

Meanwhile in the Passione nightclub, one Illuso (age: 30, real name: Michelle Illuso), works his fraud. He is an attendant at the casino, though in truth he has full permission of the club's owners to scam and steal from his customers. His talents come from his side-hustle as a magician, tricks he frequently shows off to his victims as a diversionary tactic. His partner in crime is Formaggio (age: 26, real name: Danny Fabbri), a popular Jazz musician at the bar who frequently assists in the swindling. Formaggio, so nicknamed for his unbearably cheesy personality, was until recently impoverished, until coming across the abandoned loot of a bank heist totalling at $50,000. Passione would have killed him if they realised he had taken the whole lot, but instead they simply requisitioned his services at the nightclub. He continues to indulge his newfound wealth in secret. Illuso and Formaggio are friends by necessity to Risotto, who steps in to save their asses whenever a swindle goes wrong. They're trying to improve his social life by taking him out in his free time, but the friendship is a little stony due to the language barrier. Neither Illuso or Formaggio are entirely fluent in Italian, even less the thick Sicilian Risotto speaks.

A few streets away from the Passione Club lies a rather innocuous looking flower shop run by a pair of quote on quote "brothers in law" nicknamed Sorbet (age: 40, real name Nicolo Farina) and Gelato (age: 35, real name: Elia Farina - taken after an unofficial marriage to Sorbet). The pair are quite beloved in the neighbourhood, a kindly, approachable pair of businessmen who would happily offer their wares for free to those experiencing tragedy, but in truth the flower shop is a front for a life of criminality. The couple offer a variety of services to various local mafias, Passione included, and it is known in their past they were a ferocious pair of assassins. A murdered man's coffin is most often adorned with flowers sold from their shop, and quite frequently, his end was delivered by a hitman found through their network, purchased with a large commission, naturally. In terms of murder themselves, however, Sorbet and Gelato have long ago put down their guns, the reason quite domestic.

Sorbet and Gelato have one son, who they adoringly nickname Ghiaccio for his icy temperament (age: 18, real name: Arthur White). Ghiaccio was kicked out by his impoverished biological family at just age 8, after which he broke into the flower shop for shelter and was promptly taken in by the owners. The couple used their contacts to forge papers stating that Ghiaccio was the child of Sorbet and his late wife (who of course, never existed). Ghiaccio is incredibly zealous about keeping up this false story, to the point of putting on a fake Italian accent to visitors which is quite frankly, hilarious. Sorbet and Gelato are both very insistent that Ghiaccio stay out of mob life and as a result, sent him to university under the professorship of Christopher Perkins. They have no idea how much closer to the criminal underworld they've just pushed him. Ghiaccio's best friend is Pesci, who he beat up after Pesci accidentally drove his bike into him on campus. Sorbet and Gelato were incredibly angry with him for this and forced him to make amends, leading to the unlikely friendship. They take shifts at the flower shop together when Sorbet and Gelato are out on dates.

Finally, there is Melone, (age 25, real name Harry Nelson) who gets his nickname from his absolutely terrible handwriting when writing out his real surname. Melone is, quite frankly, a quack physician, operating illegally under a myriad of fake identities throughout the city. He made the mistake of swindling some senior Passione members and ended up being forced to run narcotics for them, a surprisingly easy task considering cocaine is still considered a perfectly good medicine at this point. He is a frequent at the Passione Bar through which he knows Formaggio and Illuso, as well as a student at the same university Prosciutto works at, which he is attending in an attempt to learn some actually viable medical knowledge. Against the odds he has managed to befriend the professor, with whom he discusses the many gruesome crimes the group perpetrates. There are rumours, it is said, that Passione wants to establish an assassination squad, and with many of the more obvious choices already known to the police, it is said some more unconventional individuals may be chosen for the role.

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Explanations ~ A Gordon Bombay Oneshot

A/N: So, I'm very much on a mighty ducks kick lately. I've got a chadam fic in the works, but this one came to me after watching episode 10. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Bombay has a lot to think about after states. And an unexpected visit helps out.

Characters/Relationships: Gordon Bombay, Charlie Conway, Charlie x Adam (mentioned)

Warning: slight language, mentions of cancer, and alcoholism, no deaths though

Word count: 1042

It was early evening when the bus pulled up in front of the Ice Palace.

After he had waved off all of the kids, Gordon made his way inside to his small apartment upstairs.

He was proud of the Don’t Bothers. They had made the right choice for the team. They’d looked out for each other. They reminded him so much of the Ducks – the real Ducks. And hopefully they’d be able to reclaim that name in the morning.

After grabbing the bottle of OJ, he stared up at the framed newspaper articles next to his fridge.

The Minnesota Miracle Man.

He scoffed at the thought. He hadn’t been that man for a long time. And if he was being honest, he wasn’t sure he ever really had been.

He’d told Charlie once that he’d given him a life. And it was true. He owed everything to Charlie and the Ducks. Which is why it was so hard for him to face them… him after what happened with the NCAA.

Don’t tell me Charlie was right.

Fulton’s words rang in his ears.

Charlie was usually right. And he knew it.

Gordon hadn’t been showing up for his team – his family. But it was never because he didn’t care. He’d known that he’d let Charlie down in more ways than one in recent years, and this time he just didn’t feel like he could make it up to him. But seeing the way the Don’t Bothers rallied for Sofi, gave him hope. His team had always done it, maybe they’d give him one last chance.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. Assuming it was Alex or Evan, he didn’t bother checking the door before opening it. So when it swung open to reveal none other than Charlie Conway, Gordon’s jaw dropped.

“Charlie? What are you doing here?”

The younger man’s expression was tense and he held a large cardboard box in his arms. “Heard what happened with your new team this morning.”

There was less bitterness in his tone than expected.

“And that you’ve got a grudge match with the cake-eater mighty duck wannabes in the morning,” he added with a smirk. “You gonna let me in or what?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

The coach took a step back and gestured for him to come in. Charlie dropped the box on rickety kitchen table and surveyed the room.

“Banksy was right. You are a mess,” he finally declared, leaning on the table in front of the box and crossing his arms.

Charlie had managed to pick up Hans’ straightforwardness. It was unsettling.

“Did you come all this way just to harass me?” Gordon asked.

The former captain looked unimpressed. “All this way? I live 15 minutes away. You’d know that if you hadn’t dropped off the face of the Earth after the shit you pulled to get kicked out of the NCAA.”

“And what do you know about that?” he challenged, bristling at Charlie’s bluntness.

“You broke the rules trying to do a good thing and it bit you in the ass. Like always. Jury’s still out on whether it was for the right reasons. Care to give me your side?”

When the older man simply stared, Charlie stared back. He knew this game, and to be honest Charlie was better.

Finally Gordon sighed.

“There was a high school kid. He was a good player and he was a good kid. He was a smart kid. He wanted to go straight the draft, take his chances at signing a contract. Help his family out more. I wanted to help him out. I wanted him to have a future after the NHL. So I helped out his family, made them comfortable enough that he’d be able to go to college. I got busted.”

“So it wasn’t about winning?”

Gordon sighed and sank into the chair somewhat stiffly with his knee.

“No. It was about him. It was the same reason I lobbied Eden Hall for the scholarships. I wanted a good kid who’d been dealt a bad hand a chance. Hockey isn’t forever, and he had a chance at building something real.”

Charlie shook his head, running his tongue along his teeth before speaking. “You always were a bleeding heart underneath it all. But that still doesn’t explain why you dropped off the map afterwards.”

Gordon took a chip out of his pocket and flipped it over to Charlie.

1 Year.

“It got bad. And by the time I came out of it, and I heard the news about your mom I just thought it would be too little too late.”

“Better late than never,” Charlie hummed.

“I can see that now. How’s your mom doing by the way?”

“Better. She’s in remission now.”

Gordon nodded, more to himself than anything. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it got tough.”

The former captain sighed and shook his head.

“That sucked. But honestly it’s always bothered me more that you weren’t there for the good stuff. The wedding. The kids. The Ducks growing up.”

“I regret it. I wish I’d been with you to celebrate. Connie and Guy. You and Adam.”

Charlie arched an eyebrow. “So you did know.”

Gordon chuckled in spite of himself. “I did. I was glad you two figured it out. You deserve each other.”

“Thanks, coach.” The title was accompanied by a small smile. “It really is never too late. The Ducks miss you, and since the whole Spirit of the Ducks thing was a bust we’re planning our own reunion at the end of the month. Are you in?”

“Name the time and place. I’ll be there,” Gordon assured him.

“Good. Now about that grudge match.”

“It’s just a friendly game with a little wager.”

The younger man snorted. “They always are. Anyway,” Charlie turned and pulled the flap on the box he’d brought. “We thought you could use these. Remind everyone in this town how the Ducks really fly.”

“You still have all of these?”

“Yep, everyone has their own, but over time we’ve ended up with a full set. The team sends them with a message.”

Bombay smirked as he touched the familiar green fabric. “Let me guess, Quack?”

“Quack,” Charlie grinned.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed!