#puzzles' serious tag

[puzzlepark]

INTROPOST !!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ᐟᐟ☆ ❝ STEP RIGHT UP MY FRIENDS, TO PUZZLE PARK ! ❞

Welcome to Puzzle Park ! Where dreams come true and Puzzlevision+ comes free with your ticket!

! ! All actors, staff, and mascots resembling those of the SMG4 CREW are merely coincidental, ALL harm done to actors is fictional ! !

@ . . Remember to stop by our gift shop and ENJOY YOUR STAY !

Yours Truly, Puzzlevision Studios.

~~~~~ OOC ! QUICK RULES ! No racism , homophobia , terfs , proship , ect . NO NSFW, THERE ARE CHILDREN ! Hazbin / Helluva / Vivziepop in general DNI , it makes the mods uncomfy . /srs BE RESPECTFUL ! I am a REAL PERSON with responsibilities and i can NOT be on tumblr 24/7 ! !

<3 ALSO ! PUZZL3 , PUZZL4 , AND MARWARE ARE OUR SYSTEMS COMFORT SHIPS AND WE DISCONNECT FROM CANON , PLEASE DON ' T MENTION ANY CANONICAL HARM TO THE SMG4 CREW ! ! IT UPSETS US ! /GEN

[stunfiskz]

brain rotting about how fucked it is to be a darkner again lately. how do you care about being abandoned by your gods if they never seemed to care that much about you in the first place

[sanchoyoscribbles]

maybe link should consider that I filled my inventory with salted milky smoothies right before the fight and spent all that time leveling up the sword and energy gauges tho ...🥲

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 1

Ships: Marware, BatteryAcid (Mr Puzzles x Orange Juice), SMG34 (minor)

Mushroom Akademi was your normal pseudo-japanese highschool and Mario was a normal student.

He had... awful as shit grades because he didn't concentrate in class (god I wish I was that carefree ) and had a decent enough reputation, expect for that one incident where he was caught... you don't want to know what he was caught doing.

Anyway, Mario was normal.

He awoke to his loud two trucks alarm and started to get ready for the day. Putting on his highschool girl uniform that definitely did not look like the sailor scout uniform, not brushing his teeth and grabbing a plate of spaghetti to eat.

He quickly checked his phone to see that it was... 8 a'clock??? He was going to be late and get told of by SMG4 because of it!

Spaghetti plate still in hand, he rushed out the door, trying his best not to trip and be a clutz like he always is.

He eventually arrived at the school, only 2 minutes late and ran to his class, before realising he had no clue where he was going and had to check his timetable, which he also realised he lost like 5 months ago.

After 10 minutes of searching for his class, he finally found it and sat down in his seat, absolutely exhausted, spaghetti plate still in hand.

"Mario? You're late again? This is the 20th time this week! You know what I don't care, just don't be a nuisance like yesterday." Karen stated, not giving a crap about Mario because she is a girlboss, a legend and the moment.

The lesson went surprisingly quickly as the entire time Mario was finishing of his spaghetti or talking to SMG4 about memes or some cringey shit like that.

When the lesson and 2nd period was over, it was finally break.

Mario ran to say hello to his friends before a figure caught his eye.

The figure was a tall, handsome TV head giving out audition leaflets for a school play, rather dramatically you could say... and pathetically as he was literally on his hands and knees begging one student to join, a crying baby face replacing his normal emotes on his TV head.

Mario's heart skipped a beat. Oh how he had fallen for this TV head for the past couple of months. Yeah he tried to mind-control his friends to force them to preform in a everlasting play but that was ages ago. Honestly, Mario was down bad for him, his patheticness, his passion for the arts, his dramatic nature. I mean he was even good to look at, I mean look at those cables and wires (bro 😭) .

"Mario? MARIO!"

Mario finally snapped out of his god damn solioquy and lovestruck pinning just to be faced with a very annoyed SMG4.

"Where you even listening to anything I said?" SMG4 asked, pissed that Mario hadn't been listening for the 100th time this week.

"Uhhhh..." Mario said before saying the most, disgusting, revolting thing you ever have seen that had to be censored for the sake of EVERYONE'S sanity.

"What? No??? I was explaining the entire FNAF lore." SMG4 explained like the cringe pathetic loser he is.

"I honestly still don't get it." Meggy stated

"I do." SMG3 stated, with lovestruck eyes that told everyone in the room that he did not understand anything SMG4 just said and just liked to hear SMG4's voice

"Ha ha Gayyyyyy!" Mario shouted before being punched in the face by SMG3

"Shut Up! You like Mr Puzzles!!!" SMG3 declared, deflecting Mario's accusation back onto Mario.

"That's because he's-" Mario was once again censored by the Great Fanfic Writer in the sky who didn't want to write out the disgusting thing Mario just said about Mr Puzzles

"We.. didn't need to know that but anyway what was I on about again?" SMG4 asked, forgetting his entire lore dump he just did a few minutes before hand.

"You were on about the lore of FNAF?" SMG3 stated, looking back at SMG4 with eyes that were screaming with 'I love you so much, I want to hear your voice all the time, we are friends, we are literally soulmates made for each other, I would literally die and kill for you.'

"Oh yeah!" SMG4 was a oblivious idiot and didn't notice SMG3's obvious pinning "Anyway Foxy Bro killed his own brother or some shit and got really depressed ig, couldn't be me"

SMG4 went on to ramble about FNAF again but Mario got bored immediately. Why would anyone care about a Purple Guy and some dead children? The lore was way to complex for Mario's stupid little brain anyway, he couldn't even count to 10 let alone remember all of that.

Mario's focus went back to the pathetic Vox look-alike and sighed lovely.

He was perfect to Mario. Absolutely perfect. Though he was a bumbling idiot and still not fully redeemed, he was harmless and Mario knew he could fix him.

Mr Puzzles was now acting like that desperate clinging to a student to get them to join didn't happen and was still handing out leaflets for the audition.

Maybe Mario could audition? It's not like he had anything better to do with his life other than eat spaghetti and annoy SMG4 24/7. And it gave him the excuse to hang out with the handsome TV head.

Before Mario could think any longer, a new character appeared on screen and jokely spooked Mr Puzzles, which caused Mr Puzzles to jump and move his hands dramatically like a primary schooler trying way to hard in a poorly done school play.

Mario immediately didn't like this new figure. How dare they spook their one and only true love? And be friendly with him? (Damn Mario just let him have friends, he needs them desperately)

The figure was tall, taller than Mr Puzzles in fact which was a surprise, and extremely buff, looking like that one yaoi art base (you know the one). His head was replaced with a glass of orange juice which for some reasons had eyes on it, like working eyes. Mario didn't question it though as the canonical SMG4 universe was already lacking of lore on how the fuck Mr Puzzles is alive after he cut his head off.

"Awww, did I scare you pookie bear? I'm sorry~!" the figure said, kissing his lover on the check loving.

"I-It's okay OJ-Kun! You just scared me a little that's all." Mr Puzzles said, extremely flustered and shy now out of no where, acting like a uwu soft twink.

Mario was seething with anger. Mr Puzzles had a lover? A boyfriend? This was not okay. Only Mario could be his boyfriend and if he couldn't, then no one could.

An idea popped into Mario's head, quite surprising as he probably didn't have any braincells left.

A very... unique idea.

You see, there was something actually... unnormal about Mario.

He was what you would call...

A yandere.

(part 2 when??? Lol)

[junkmailmusubi]

IM GONNA SCREAM

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

In case any of you are wondering what your friendly neighbourhood memer who literally has Akutagawa in her username thought of the newest Asagriri interview, it's rough. The relationship with violence in bsd has always been a complicated one and I felt like the subject of violence was treated a bit lightly, but then again it's an ongoing manga and individual character arcs (such as Atsushi's and Lucy's) were far from romantisizing it. I was really looking forward to the moment Atsushi learns about Akutagawa's past and begins to question Dazai's authority. I felt like the story was leaning more towards that direction with sskk's development, and so reading the comments regarding Akutagawa and Dazai was a very disheartening experience. There's more I could say about this subject, but to be completely honest I simply feel very disappointed that Akutagawa's abuse is meant to be seen as "the right path". It shouldn't be. Everything Atsushi stands for suggests that it shouldn't be. And here we are. And I don't know, maybe Asagiri just worded his thoughts not in a way he meant to and Aku's arc will be handled properly, but it seemed pretty clear to me that Asagiri is favourising Dazai even though Dazai was in the wrong there. Abuse is never the answer. Up until now there was certain ambiguity surrounding this subject, but now that Asagiri has spoken up about about the way he views their relationship, it all went out of the window and not gonna lie, it really ruined my day. In the end it's just a fictional story, so it's not that serious, but this manga means and lot to me and I don't think things will ever be the same. I've been thinking about this for hours and I don't know if I'll be able to approach bsd the same way as before. I suppose we'll see what kind of direction the story is going to go for, but for now I'm really disappointed.

[guckies]

All that pain and suffering and for what?!? That’s at least 12 hours of my life I’ll never get back!!

[pienhime]

autistic people are expected to just... stop having symptoms For The Greater Good™️ all the time and get treated like bigots and warmongers if they dont magically stop being disabled to further a cause. some autistic people can do some things, some people cant do those so they do other things to help instead. but its considered "good" and "morally correct" in leftist circles online to harass MENTALLY DISABLED PEOPLE for not simply no longer dealing with what comes along w their disability when it damages others. sorry, not sorry but ill do everything that i can to support causes i care about, and the operative part of that statement is "THAT I CAN". other autistic ppl can do without their safe foods? great, i cant. other autistic people are good at taking social queues and understanding how to discuss sensitive topics? cool, most of us cant. weve become so "uwu are u also neurodivergent uwu?? heres my hyperfixationstimmingspecialinterestoverstimulationcore pronoun set!! self diagnosis from tiktok is valid" that weve forgotten autism is a serious mental disability that prevents most of us from working and lots of us from ever living on our own. get ur head out of ur ass and eat a bag of razor blades if you think disabled people owe you death and suffering. we are doing what we can.

[batsplat]

every time i open jorge lorenzo’s instagram there is some new batshit crazy stuff he posted, it’s a joy every time, the man is a motogp legend, and he decided it wasn’t enough, he needed to defeat every other corny millennial man alive by exclusively following women and posting dude bro advice

this is so funny to me because honestly I have no clue what he posts on instagram beyond what gets reported on motogp news sites or (more commonly) what crosses the pond to reddit, but can't say I'm surprised... I don't use instagram myself so I have no clue what these men actually do on there lol. these days I am getting further updates on their activities via tumblr! quite glad not to be directly experiencing a lot of it!

anyway yeah that does all sound very... him. kinda reminds me of that 2013 controversy where monster energy did this thing where they made a video of him showing off his mansion filled with bikini-clad models. the video ended up being taken down, it was seen as tasteless both given spain's economic situation and... y'know, the gender of it all. and jorge does have an... interesting approach to social media in general. also definitely the most opinionated of the retired aliens these days! casey probably comes in second and he does have a lot of thoughts about many things, but generally speaking it's not QUITE as relentless as it is with jorge. he's really missing a bit of a filter lol, there's an entire career arc here where when he was younger he was all about finding himself and establishing a character and explaining to the world who he really was, before getting burned by the world and being way more closed off for quite a few years, before retiring and relaxing a bit and sharing everything that comes to his head. for better or for worse. he may be cringe but at least he's free

[mildcicada]

[brandwhorestarscream]

Not me taking this 100% literally because like. Omg

Megatron dies and gets this huge "you have doomed cybertron and slain many sparks and yada yada etc etc" speech, and his sentencing is eternal damnation in the Pits. He gets dropped into what is supposed to be Ultimate Hell by Primus's standards and it is genuinely higher quality living then what he had in Kaon? Primus watching in horror because wait a minute. People were living worse than this on Cybertron? But... this is is supposed to be hell! The end all, be all, eternal suffering! How can hell actually be outdone on his own planet?

Tldr Megatron died and went to hell but hell was actually good and he gave Primus an identity crisis

God imagine Megatron going to robot hell and he's just like "I can live with this. Kaon was worse."

[puzzlepark]

tw littlespace vent

jsdstupid stupid stupid i stupid. i stupid idiot who cant do nothin im dumb idiot baby. everyonget mad when i little im stupid stupid baby stupid dummy. i go in timeout

[gremlingottoosilly]

I met a guy in the Summer (dilf!Konig x fem!Reader)

Your boyfriend is an asshole. Luckily, his hot dad just returned from deployment. CW and Tags: Cheating, dub-con, size kink, daddy kink, age gap(reader in 20s, Konig is early 40s), Konig is a pervert, slightly obsessive Konig, love(and lust) at first sight, fingering, dom!Konig Word count: 3713 AO3

“Just one more game, babe, don’t be a buzzkill. I don’t want to end at a loss.” You didn’t want to be a buzzkill, of course. You simply wanted to be a good girlfriend, have some domestically cozy date, and for your boyfriend to at least try to put an effort into being with you. It wasn’t much to ask for, really. You hoped so, at least. You didn’t want to be an annoying, nagging girlfriend who only ever waits for another reason to yell at him, but your patience started to run thin. 

You spend the past three hours either listening to his apathetic rambling about the shows he watched – really, you wanted to invest in stuff he liked, but an abnormally large amount of animes he talked about had 1000-year-old girls who looked like they were 10, wearing inappropriate outfits, and you started to raise the alarm. 

You also watched him play – and also listened to his rage quitting and angry voice messages to his team that, honestly, made you slightly anxious. You never liked loud people, people who were so easy to rage about something as silly as some colorful video game with too many characters to look after. 

So, like a good girlfriend would – you wanted to be a good girlfriend, he was such a nice guy before you started dating, and you need something to think about besides the tremendous amount of study work you are doing for college – you decided to go and look for snacks. Maybe bring something for him as well. 

— I’ll find something to eat, alright? 

He didn’t respond at first, so you shook his shoulder. Your boyfriend took off his headphones with annoying look on his face, half-turning to look at you. You gulped, suddenly feeling like a child in front of the principal – not a feeling that you were supposed to feel around your partner, but with him, you somehow constantly felt like you were being judged. 

— Nah, stay here. I don’t want my father to see you. 

— Ah…your father is at home? 

You never heard anyone else being at the house – big house, you must admit, and it’s embarrassing almost how you never thought about his family. He lives with his dad, apparently, and the depth of your relationships can only be judged by the fact you literally didn’t know what his father’s name was. 

— Returned from his fucking deployment. He’d ask too many questions about you. 

— You didn’t tell him about me? 

Ah, now you’re hurt a little bit. You knew it wasn’t anything serious or too committed yet, but you intended to make this work. To try and fix all the problems you can without ending things abruptly. 

— He never asked. Not like he cares too much, but…

An apathetic dad, huh. 

You started to slowly piece together the puzzle that was your boyfriend’s horrible boyfriend skills. Now, you want to meet the man who conceived him and kick him in the nuts for creating such an unlovable human being who somehow captivated your chronically lonely heart. 

— If you don’t want me to come and meet him, I can go home. 

He doesn’t answer because his queue is finally coming to another match – you simply nod, knowing everything you need to. You can grab a little snack for yourself, fuck off to your dorm and rethink your life choices while your roommate is getting pounded by some gruss British bloke with an accent that makes your ears bleed. 

You have dignity, and right now, it has asked you to get some snacks from the kitchen. 

*** Now, the only thing König wanted after returning from deployment was to take as many hot showers as he could, shut his bastard of a son up, and get some delicious food waiting for him in the freezer. He was already home for a few days, but adjusting is always hard when you basically fucking hate living at your own house. Of-fucking-course, his son was watching the house while he was away – and now he can’t even think of a good excuse to set him off to his mother. Too old to do this, and split custody never really worked when not even one part of the relationship wanted to take care of the kid. 

König closes the door of the refrigerator – of course, his son took every good thing that he stashed for himself. With a groan, the colonel fights the urge to finally throw him out of the house – a thing he needed to do a few years ago, just when he celebrated his 18th, but some sentimental part of his heart instead promised to help with finding a place close to the college. No good deed goes unpunished. 

With a groan, he takes a few steps from the fridge – and then he almost stumbles across an angel. 

Scheisse

Now, König never thought of himself as a predator who prefers running after college girls who might as well be his daughters. He never thought of himself as a gut who liked them young – his wife, god forsake her name, was his age when they started dating, and he hardly had any sexual encounters with a person under 25 in the past few years. Well, not like he had any sexual encounters in the past years, but…

The thing is – he never thought he liked girls with wide eyes, pouty faces, and trembling hands who were holding a bag of his cookies that he carefully stashed away from his son. 

You are wearing something cute, a nice skirt and an adorable pink cardigan that looks so cozy and warm and soft, and he fights the urge to grab your skirt and simply lift it, You’re dressed up for a cute coffee date, and König has to double check if he isn’t dreaming and no one has decided to play a prank on him and send him a cute callgirl. 

— Oh! Sorry. It’s yours, isn’t it? 

You give him his cookies back – but not before your fingers fished another salty caramel goodness out of the bag, and you bit it. He looks at your teeth, at your lips, and glimpses of your tongue – god, he is an old, dirty bastard because even his baggy pants aren’t enough to hide his boner. You have no right to look this pretty for a man who hasn’t seen a woman in three months and hasn’t had sex in the past few years. 

You lick the crumbs from your fingers – it’s such a deliberate action that he can’t believe he actually sees it, and it’s not even something from porn he used to like. 

— Ja. You can have it. 

He would give you the code to his bank account if you asked for it. 

— Thank you, sir. I’m…well, I assume if Paul didn’t introduce me to you…I’m his girlfriend. Nice to meet you. 

You lick your lips and take a step back, pressed against the counter. He looks at the sway of your hips, a bit of crumbs on your shirt, and almost brushes it away with his hands. It would be a good excuse to touch your chest – but he can’t be like this, he has to keep his urges under control, or else his son will never forgive him. 

Yeah, like he needs a better reason to throw his useless son from his home. 

— Girlfriend? He never spoke about you. 

You look sad, and he immediately curses under his breath. For a moment, you look too fragile – too real. He can’t handle this look on a woman, especially as pretty and young as you are. You bat your eyelashes, even involuntarily, and he already prepares to give you the keys to his home just so you’d stop with such miserable expressions. He has a spare bedroom. 

He has his bedroom with a bed that would be enough for both of you. 

— Ah. Um. We’re…I guess we’re not at this stage yet. 

— Knowing him, you’ll never be, Schatz. 

You look at him immediately – you’re offended, angry, and sad at the same time. There is a certain stubbornness in your eyes that immediately makes him want to simply scoop you in his arms, lift you, and drag you straight to the altar – and here he thought that his impulses over getting married would be over after his first divorce. 

— What do you mean by this, sir? 

You look uncertain now, he can see this in your eyes – and really, knowing his asshole of a child, he is almost sure that Paul never once got you off, either physically or emotionally. 

Now, König never once considered himself to be a good man. He has killed countless people, overthrown many governments, and made shitty jobs for shitty people way more than saving hostages to help the good guys – and in the romantic field, it’s even worse. Wife, unsatisfied with his controlling tendencies and inability to feel normal love for a human being – and a son who hates him because, in fact, he never once wanted to have a kid. 

He looks at you and sees a pretty young thing, still in college or freshly out of, probably without a stable job and normal social standing – a good girl won’t be with his son if she isn’t stupid or extremely desperate for a relationship. 

The thing is, König is also extremely desperate for another warm body next to his, to feel a woman beside him, to love and obsess over someone – he looks at your pouty lips and shaky hands, at the way you bite the corner of your glossy mouth, and he almost wants to drop you on this very table and fuck you until you’re crying under him. He can’t do just that, of course. It would probably make you extremely uncomfortable and scared, but…well, quite frankly, his son doesn’t deserve you. 

König is. 

— I won’t sugarcoat it, Schatz. My son is a Scheiß Arschloch…fucking asshole, that is. I’m surprised he brought home someone as cute as you. 

You feel embarrassment collecting in your body. Paul’s dad is a…interesting man. 

Tall, broad, very muscular – even his baggy house clothes aren’t really concealing his extremely interesting physique from your eyes. He looks yummy and tasty, and you fight the urge to eye the bulge in his pants because you’re a good girl, you don’t look at your boyfriend’s dad like this. 

König has greying ginger hair, locks already curling slightly at the lack of cutting, and you fight the urge to sit on the counter and get your palm in his scalp, massage his head gently, and pull him closer for a kiss. You feel like a dirty, horrible woman – your boyfriend is in his room, probably enjoying his time on your “date” while you’re lusting over his father. 

Then again, this date already felt like a disaster. This relationship, too. 

— Paul isn’t all that bad, sir. 

“He at least has a nice dick,” you wanted to add but stopped yourself. Paul is tall and somewhat strong – if he weren’t sitting at his computer all day, you would call him even muscular. And he has a nice dick, yes, even though he had no idea how to use it. You liked the idea of laying with him, of spraying your jaw trying to fit all of this in your mouth, but his kinks and his sex skills being directly taken from porn…not really your thing. 

You look at König and wonder if they are similar in all of the places. He is his father, after all. 

König catches your gaze locked on his bulge and smirks. 

God, if he knew his son had such a cute girl, he would ask her to come earlier. He is two weeks off deployment and probably won’t take another long contract for a few months because they just upped his retirement payings, and he can afford to slack off a little bit, only visiting the home base for some training and instructions for rookies. 

He can afford to retire and never worry about money again – but he needs someone to make his days less boring, right? 

You look like a good candidate. 

— I’m sure my son was convincing, but I know him better than anyone. He doesn’t deserve you, Schatz. 

He is shitty at flirting, it’s not his forte – he can flaunt his money, maybe, show you in his wallet and bank account face first. He can just straight up ask you to be his sugar baby and suck his cock instead of doing your studies, but he can’t flirt and manipulate to save his life. Lying isn’t something he is good for, this is why his wife has left. 

— I…not sure we should be having this conversation here. 

You’re a good girl, and it’s infuriating. He knows that having someone in his bed shouldn’t be the end goal for his leave, but he wants you, and by the look on your face, you aren’t opposed to the idea. König doesn’t understand if he likes that you’re so reserved about it or if he wants you to be a bit more slutty – but he captures you in the space between the kitchen counter and presses you with his body. 

— You want to see the bedroom then?

Pushes you so close his knee gets between your legs – it might look involuntary like he didn’t exactly want for it to be placed here, but you aren’t dumb, you know what he wants from you. Like a good fucking girl, you’re too shy to give it to him right about now. God, sometimes he hates being so nice to people around him. 

— Sir, this is very…

He got you caged in his hands, body trapped in his embrace – you jerk your head upwards a little bit, staring at him like a small bird in the hands of a predator. He isn’t a strong man in regard of morals, he doesn’t see anything wrong with fucking his son’s girlfriend – if the girl is up to it. And if she isn’t…well, he better make sure she is. 

— What is it, Schatz? Paul won’t hear us in his headphones.

You know just how wrong it is, and you almost want to escape – his dick grinds on your pelvis through his pants, and you’re horrified to see how big it is. Excited too, of course, he is bigger than your boyfriend ever could be, and you don’t want to be a slut, but, oh well, not like you were in a committed and serious relationship anyway. 

Paul was seeing your friends more than you ever saw them – it’s probably a sign that you should settle for someone older. You did enjoy Lana Del Rey's songs, after all. 

— I don’t want to break his heart. 

— He doesn’t have one. 

You’re lost when he pushes his lips to kiss you over and over again – a surprisingly good kisser, and you give in because it was the first time in forever a kiss made you feel this good. His lips are sending electricity down your spine, you want to moan just from his knee, pushing on the softness of your cunt through that adorable skirt you liked so much – you feel so small like this, so tiny in his hands, you…

God, you feel like a slut, and you like it. 

Soon enough, you answered the kiss, your lips meeting his in a dance that made you feel hot, that made you feel like your boyfriend never could. Never thinking of yourself as someone who can fall so easily into the hands of an older man, now you know that he got you right where he wanted. 

You push your hand on his pants, trying to get the control back – but he stops you, a giant hand enveloping your wrist and pushing you back. With a surprise on your face, König just wants to kiss you all over. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that you deserve way more than being fucked on the rough kitchen counter while your so-called boyfriend is too busy dickriding his friends in some useless online game. 

— Not now, princess. You deserve better than being fucked on the kitchen counter, ja? It can come later. 

“Later” sounds like a promise, and you bite back your moan when he keeps pushing his knee against your cunt, making you throb and clench on nothing. He is such a gentleman, you can’t help but compare him to his son – and his fabulous ability to make you feel dirty after fucking you in the backseat of his car and tossing you to your dorm with your pussy still wet and messy after you didn’t cum. 

You sob, not from sadness, but from pleasure mixed with some weird, unnatural for you emotions – you feel weird, strained here like this, but you hug his neck and whisper something in his ear. Something, dangerously sounding just like “daddy, please” 

König is blushing, and he looks fucking adorable. 

— Daddy, ja? God, you’re dangerous, liebling. Going to get me in trouble with my son later. 

He laughs when he kisses you again, his hand slipping in your panties only to find them completely soaked – he knows you deserve a nice pillow and soft sheets under your body, and he pushes you up so you can hug his waist with your legs. You rely on him like a cute pet, and you’re so perfect in his hands he curses himself for not seeing you before. 

He is going to ruin you for anyone but him. Put so much cum in you, it will make your tummy bulge – make you his precious sugar baby, pay for your dumb college and make you move to his bedroom instead of some shitty dorm you probably share with four other people. 

He can be good for you – but he will ruin you for anyone else, anyone appropriate, every guy your age who clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady right. 

— So wet for me…such a filthy thing, I didn’t know my son dated a whore. 

— N…not a whore, please…

He kisses you on your forehead, silently apologizing. You feel his crooked, scarred smile, and you push your face up to kiss him – you want to touch him so badly it makes you feel stupid. 

— Sorry, Schatzen. Not a whore, a good girl for her daddy, ja? So nice for me, too fucking young…

— W…we really shouldn’t… — Tshhh, don’t think about it. Thinking will only hurt your pretty dumb head. — I’m not…

— Quiet, little one. Let daddy handle everything.

He kisses you over and over, his fingers playing with your pussy – meaty digits digging in your hole, making you whimper from sudden intrusion. He is big, bigger than anyone else, just two of his fingers are enough to spread you as much as normal cock would, and even though you’re used to taking Paul’s size, you just know that his dad would be much, much bigger. He is going to split you open, and you will love every fucking second. 

It feels so wrong, you still aren’t sure if you want him to touch you like this. 

It feels so right, he is experienced and eager, pushing every button to make you squirm in his grasp. Your orgasm comes embarrassingly quick – maybe because you haven’t gotten off in ages, only miserable masturbation sessions and poor attempts at faking your orgasm made it feel real. Paul never cared enough to actually get you off – but now…

You aren’t ready for him. You squirm in his grasp when the pressure becomes too much, and he soothes you, two fingers still buried in your soaked cunt. You feel so dirty, so wrong right now – you are cumming on the fingers of your boyfriend’s absent father, and you love every second of it. 

Post-orgasm clarity makes you whiny and sobby, and you whimper in his shoulder when he gently lifts you in his hands. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that he just scrambled your brain with that orgasm – it’s good, really, he might just want to keep your pretty head nice and empty for him. Not like you would ever need to think in his presence, the colonel can handle everything in- and out- of bed. 

König holds you close, not allowing you to scramble away no matter how embarrassed you are. You are his precious thing, with a pouty face, and he will do everything in his power to make you squirm on his fingers again and again before he makes you his wife for good. 

So impulsive, maybe this is why his son is such an asshole – taking the worst traits of his father. 

— Don’t cry, Schatzen. You’re okay, it felt good, didn’t it? 

— W…we shouldn’t have. Shit. I’m sorry, it was a m…god, I need to tell Paul. 

— I’ll tell him. 

— No! — I will tell my asshole of a son that you’re my girl now, ja? And then I will take you to the bedroom, so we can fuck. 

— I need to return to my dorm. 

— And then I will dine you properly, okay? Sorry, Liebling, I know I should court you before all of this…but we can afford to go a bit off board, ja? 

He is smiling, so smitten and obsessed over just having you cum on his fingers once – you don’t have the heart to say no. Never did. You’re a good, proper girl, and Paul was never treating you right anyway. You feel dirty, yes, but somehow, it is almost right. 

He peppers your face with kisses, like a dog lapping its tongue all over your skin – you’re so concentrated on the warmth of his strong, seasoned body that you don’t even look in the direction of the doorway to the kitchen. 

Paul, however, looks straight at you, disheartened and shocked. 

— W…what the fuck, dad?! König laughs, kissing you once again – deep, hot, with tongue and loud, sloppy sounds of your mouth pressing into one another. You’re stuck in place, still caged in his arms like a precious little pet you are. 

— She’ll make a good step mom, ja? 

You don’t even register his hands slowly caressing your fingers as if he already tries to check the ring sizes. 

[scarrrletales]

DRAGON AND DAMSEL

DRAGON!SYLUS X PRINCESS!MC

🔞 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

This blog and its content, including this post, are strictly 18+ only. If you are under 18, please do not interact, like, reblog, or follow.

Tags : Dark romance, PWP (P0rn with plot), dirty talk, past life lovers, creamp!e, double p3netration, marking, br3eding, m0nsterfvcking, unprotected s3x, r0ugh sex, MC is h0rny.

Summary : A princess is offered as a sacrificial bride to a dragon but discovers a dragon in heat.

A LONG LONG TIME AGO.....

It was a lovely morning at the kingdom of Tarus. Everything was going perfect for you, being bethroted right after you come of age — to a prince.

You can't help but to giggle and feel giddy, still not believing that you are to be his in a few hours, it's your wedding day after all.

A knock suddenly interrupted your thoughts, followed by the door opening and maids scattering to your room. I turned to look at them and smiled nervously.

"Princess (Name), it's time."

I nodded and let them take over. The maids took off my nightgown, slipping me off to a white chemise, a red sleeveless dress — followed by a corset and a large crinoline. Whilst the others gets busy with combing and styling my hair.

Heaving a sigh of relief after the torturous cinching of the corset's ribbons, the maid gently takes my wedding gown off the wooden mannequin and dressing me.

I looked at myself in the mirror "Wow...." I smiled and looked the maids. "T-thank you..." I said gently as my smile dropped as I saw their expression full of indifference. They then bowed and left my room coldly.

"We're they always like this?" I asked myself

Eversince I set foot in this castle, everyone has been so distant, even the king and queen. Only the prince was kind and welcoming towards me, even touring me the gardens and horseback riding in the mountains with me.

"I hope that all is well soon...."

—

After the wedding ceremony ended, we rode a carriage heading up to the mountain. He held out his hand after the carriage stopped, I smiled and gladly took it. I looked around and saw guests wearing masks, which made me puzzled.

"Welcome princess."

The queen greeted warmly and hugged me.

I hugged reluctantly and hugged her back "T-thank you for welcoming me into your family, your highness." I looked up to her smiling.

She nodded and took the lead on walking through the rock bridge. The queen then spoke.

"For generations, its been our task, our duty, to protect our people."

I listened intently as I tried to ignore what's underneath we're walking on. It's dark and creepy, with multiple dead roots and a never ending abyss below.

She cleared her throat and continued.

"Today, you join a legacy of women who shaped this kingdom......When our ancestors claimed this island, they discovered a bloodthirsty beast already here. It attacked the village. In retaliation, the king took his revenge, by killing the dragon's lover and the king led his soldiers against it, but none survived except him."

A beast? Here in this kingdom? How gruesome.

"The beast demanded a terrible price: bring the the fairest maiden in the land in exchange for peace. The women were sacrificed, and so......the kingdom was born."

She came to a halt and looked at me with a serious face. Signaling a red cloaked and masked individual, she took out a dagger.

"It is a tradition we commemorate every generation. A tradition going back centuries."

I looked at her nervously as she slowly asks for his son's palm — the prince. Without hesitation she slashed it. My hands trembled as I slowly took out my hand, I bit my lip in agony as I tried to held out a scream as the blade cuts through me. The queen then pressed our palms together, mixing our blood, followed with covering it with a white cloth. The queen smiled eerily "She is now of royal blood!" she proclaimed. The guests bowed in respect.

"To ensure our kingdoms thrive forevermore, toss the coin into the abyss now." I nodded determined, I slowly walked closer and tossed it below.

"The ceremony is now complete, you may now make your return."

The prince and I looked at each other smiling. I wonder what will happen later at our wedding night? I snapped out off my thoughts as he gently picks me up and carried me.

"I-i can walk fine y'know..." I said, embarrassed and smiling.

He chuckles as he looks at me and asks for me to close my eyes as he came to a halt on the middle of the bridge, I giggled. "I'm sorry." The prince said.

I looked at him confused. The last thing I new that my husband. My prince. Tossed me into the dark abyss.

"Argh....." I groaned painfully as i slowly awoke.

I writhed in pain as I tried to get up but failed. What the hell? This must be just a dream? With all the strength I got, I stood up and looked up. "HELP! I-is there anyone there? HELP ME!" I sobbed in pain as I tried desperately to climbed up the stones, only to fall down again.

"FUCKING SHIT!" i threw the crown and my ring on the ground and yelled in rage.

There was barely any light left in the cavern that I was tossed on. How will I ever survive this? Will I die here? My parents, my sister, my kingdom..... A fire suddenly flashed afar on one of the passageway of the cave. Curious, i followed the light that led to a tight cave.

I held my breath as i stumbled upon another cave, a huge one field with large rocks and a smoky-burning breeze inside it. My legs brought me to the pathway that led to a shiny spot. Why is it all so familiar? I flinched as a booming voice suddenly interrupted my admiration for the precious items.

“I…like your eyes, they are beautiful i can see your hatred, defiance and greed for life.”

My face dropped as i sensed an dark ominous aura clouding the area. Then it hit me, remembering what the prince told me when we're on a walk. Thousands of years ago, dragons ruled over the lands of Philos. By nature, dragons are wicked creatures that feed on human souls. They excel at drawing out the darkest parts of a person's heart, driving humans to turn on one another and become slaves to their desires. The greedier the soul, the more irresistible it is to a dragon.

Weary about my surroundings, i picked up a stone "W-what do you want from me!?" I shouted, full of fear as the winged figure circles around me.

"My...my....look like something's never changed. Sweetie."

The figure revealed itself as a man. Winged, sharp and undeniably good looking? I wasn't expecting this at all,

I chuckled nervously "W-what are you going to do to me?" i held back my tears, my hands clutched over to a fist. The dragon chuckled deeply and and landed Infront of me. I closed my eyes tightly, prepared for death.

His lips came crashing down on me making me gasp for air as he continuously. His lips were desperate, passionate and rough. "Mmmm..!" I tried avoiding him, but failed. It was making you go into a haze, it's almost like as if your hypnotized and familiar with his touch.

I couldn't help but to return his kisses, his large hands suddenly wrapping around my waist and his tail lifting my skirt then ripping it off. "H-hey!" I gasped, blushing.

"Relax my princess, you can handle it."

You feel so needy for him. Why? why is it like this? Why is the dragon suddenly kissing me all off a sudden? I bit my lip to prevent myself from whining. He stops kissing me and clawed open my corset revealing my body. It's tail suddenly striking my butt, making me gasp and fall over to the red cushion surrounded by sparkling treasures and bones.

"What's your name?" he asked, before dipping down to my chest ravaging and marking it down. You couldn't help the noises coming out of your mouth. "(N-name)...ohh fuck!" i whined, he bites your thighs before completely making your mind go blank. The dragon's tongue rapidly licks over your dripping wet cunt, it was so undeniably good. I gripped his hair tightly and whined.

"Sylus is the name. In case you forgot, sweetie. It's been many years after all." he smirked before starting to ravish your dripping wet pussy again. The dragon — Sylus.

His red eyes gleamed over you before showing off his two massive cocks. I gulped and bit my lip as i looked at it astonished. How will that even fit inside me? Sylus claims my lips as he spits on his hands before pumping his cock.

"I-i..---" i stuttered "Scared now aren't we?"

I looked down nervously and backed away a bit. He then flips me over before slowly plunging his length inside me, making me moan and my eyes rolling back in pleasure.

Holding into him tight as i closed my eyes in pain, i moaned and clawed his back. "Such a fucking whore for me. Look, your cunt perfectly hugs my cock, kitten." Slowly looking down, i bit my lip as i saw his length plunged inside me.

Sylus then began to move, his hips becoming faster and faster by time while claiming my lips and neck. "Ahhh! sy-lus..." My mind was now full of lust and need. Giving in, i started bucking my hips onto him while kissing him.

Oh...is this what the elders told me about? What happens only most to married couples on their wedding night. I fantasized about this, i red about this day. So immoral......

"Oh? you're getting a bit desperate aren't we slut?" Sylus said as he carried me, face to face before thrusting it inside my cunt. "Ohhh! yes! ohh ngh!" i whined over his shoulder and bit his neck, marking it.

You let out an shriek as he suddenly forces your head down, causing you to choke on his cock. Bucking his hips into your mouth you can only tear up in the sensation you are feeling whilst you kept eye contact with him.

"Good girl, taking my cock like that." You whimpered as his length was buried deep inside your throat, making a bulge. It was painful at first but it suddenly was replaced with pleasure as he then gets busy with your tight hole. Teasing and licking it before thrusting it once again. "s'too much...ah!!" i drooled over him. Fuck.

Delighted, he inserted the other one in to your ass. "!!!" i gasped and let him take control. "You like it that much huh? i'll teach you what love is again, sweetie." he bucked his hips and started to go rough with me. Sylus growls into your neck as he plunges into your pussy deeper. I was crying in pleasure, i looked at him desperate and kissed him as we both continue to buck our hips together in pleasure.

"I-i...i'm gonna! i'm gonna!" i moaned desperately and wrapped my legs around his waist as both of his cocks continue to delve inside me. "Let it all go, kitten." Ropes of hot seed came rushing inside your cervix. It was jaw droppingly good.

I was panting heavily and fell on top of his chest, my legs all wobly and my cunt dripping full of cum.

The cavern was silent now, the crackle of fire replaced by the rhythmic sound of their breathing. The princess lay against his chest, her fingers tracing the faint glow of scales that shimmered beneath his skin—half-man, half-beast. The intensity of their union still lingered in the air, but her mind raced as fragments of memories stirred, tugging at the edges of her consciousness. He watched her, his red eyes softened with something far deeper than desire—an ancient pain.

Sylus tilted her chin, his clawed hand surprisingly gentle. Her heart skipped. A flicker of recognition. Those eyes, that voice —it wasn’t new. It was something buried, forgotten.

She pulled back, her breath catching. "I know you.." she gasped. Her blood ran cold, then hot, as the truth hit her. "You’re... my—"

"Your lover." he finished, his voice heavy with centuries of longing. "And now, your dragon." The cavern seemed to shrink around them as her tears fell. She clung to him, her words a whisper against his chest. The dragon only held her tighter, his fiery embrace a promise of love that defied even time itself.

— the end.

[ifwdominicfike]

spencer seems to be more interested in his crossword puzzle than his own girlfriend.

── .✦. ──

a week he was gone. a whole week on a case — and the first thing he does when he gets home is his stupid crossword puzzle. is he serious right now?? when he came through the door you were met with his disheveled, tired figure.

he dragged his way over to couch, settling in the corner with a news paper in hand and a focused expression. you missed him bad, you wanted to run your way over to him and kiss his pretty, pouty lips.

its been almost an hour and he’s still sitting there, making it seem like you weren’t even home. you did try to get his attention but you were only met with dry responses like a simple yes, no or a tired hum. “baby y’want anything to eat? i can order your favoriteee” you drag out the word to break the awkward silence. “no im okay” he mumbled before going back to his paper.

you scoff at his obliviousness, is he doing this on purpose or is he really that dumb? you roll your eyes as you flop down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling for about 10 minutes until you got bored once again. you huff out a breath before making your way to the living room.

peaking around the corner to see if he was still there or not — he was. you make your way towards him, plopping down on the couch. you let out an exaggerated sigh while resting your head on his shoulder, looking up at him as he’s still focused on the puzzle. “whats wrong?” he asks, his gaze finally shifting to you.

“just missed you s’all” you begin shuffle around getting up from the couch. “but you seem to be busy so i’ll go back to the ro-“ your cut off by spencer grabbing your wrist and lightly pulling you back. “woah woah, where y’going?” he asks confused. “going back to the room? don’t you have your crossword to finish, old man?” once you’re out of his hold you make your way back to the room.

“baby come on don’t be like that-“ he stops when he finds you “asleep” cuddled in the comforter. “i know you’re not asleep” you hear the smirk in his tone but you don’t make it known that you’re awake. “come on sweet girl, m’sorry” he slips under the sheets and pulls you against his chest “please? i’ll make it up to you, okay?” he continues, you couldn’t take not talking to him so you swiftly turn around and straddle his lap.

“woah-“ before he could get another word out you shush him by putting a finger against his lips “no more talking love, just need you..” you duck down and bring your lips to his, his hands for your hips as he smiles into the kiss. “fuck- i love you”

- avery’s note ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡-

first spencer fic!!! i love this man sooo much ughhahsjsj you would have to pry this man from my cold dead hands. anyway!! i hope you enjoy <33 @her-favorite tagging you since you LOVE this man as much as i do 😽😽

also lmk if you would like to be put onto my spencer taglist!! and lmk if you don’t wanna be tagged in spencer fics and only in sturniolo fics :P (or if you’re fine with being in both 😭)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @ellaapsworld @chrissv4mp @jetaimevous @mattsbrowser @submattenthusiast @flouvela @sturniolosiphone @chrislova @sophand4n4 @mattsfavoritestar @mattslolita @y3sterdaysproblem

[sideysvault]

۶ৎ Virtuous initiation ۶ৎ

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Wc: 1,500k

Tags: [sfw] Mature themes, canon typical violence, newly weds, vulnerable Aemond, arranged marriage, both are afraid of sex, domestic bliss.

────────

Prince Aemond is known to be practical to the extreme, he seems to have no patience for the incompetence of his brother or his mother’s hidden sentimentalism, often feeling horror towards failure, and openly frowning at any suggestion of true romantic felicity.

The Prince frequently ignores you, of course, but that is to be expected in political betrothal. Although you personally are of the belief that a little excitement, conversation and respect would do you some good. But what is one to do?

Often fancying beyond the realms of your condition, your mind keeps itself occupied with thoughts of what may become of you with less social opposition and more personal stimulus. You dream of being a scholar, a master, to finally visit The Citadel, and that you may finally make a home out of the Red Keep. That perhaps, even in between the most interrelated webs of political opposition, inherited resentments, and southeastern superstitions one may find peace and harmony and knowledge. These desires seemed to be equally improbable, and you had begun to come to terms with it. Childhood dreams. Nothing more.

He slightly frightens you, but not nearly enough as everyone assumes he should have. For a reason that you truly couldn’t comprehend, all the residents of Kings Landing find him rather physically odd. Why is that? If, after all, he still looks like a proper Targaryen Prince, even with one functioning eye. His childhood wound could never deny his long straight silver hair that reminded you of the most fine jewelry on your mothers dressing table. His blue eyes told stories that loosely resembled the songs that sirens chanted by the East Coast: Dangerous, calculating, and yet, they invited fascination and curiosity. His handsome features, delicate, sharp, and firm, gave his face an undeniably royal quality. And if you knew no better, you would probably be at his feet, wanting to gain his unobtainable affections.

Receiving condolences and concern from members of the court upon the news of your betrothal puzzled you. From your understanding, the youngest brother was quieter, smarter, patient, and more honorable than the King.

You felt a bit of shame, but you did recognize that you felt incredibly grateful that His Grace, the King, was already married. It saddened you that the cross was for his sister to bear, but you’ve heard the violent stories:whispered to you by maidens, servants, and members of the court. The veracity of those stories had quickly been made evident by the poorly contained, worried reactions of the Queen Dowager whenever her son was alone and near a female servant.

Prince Aemond’s chambers were as queer as his personality. Spotless, in an obsessive manner that goes far beyond the traditional efficiency of cleaning servants. The extensive library was the only thing that filled the space with character of its own, the books seemed to rebel and demand disorderly presence by their own right. His private library exploited the fragility of your curious mind and your predisposition for literature. Your greatest sin was to often sneak into the Prince’s room to borrow books from his collection, which was far more delectable and interesting than the Castle’s general library.

A stupid, brash decision. Especially considering Aemond’s serious disposition and angsty, hostile character. But you couldn’t help yourself when you saw the chambers unattended. Wanting to see the whispered wonders of his personal collection. The prince knew of your intrusion, of course. As when you came back to return your theft, you realized with horror that he had left a single stone where the book you had borrowed was. Feeling ashamed, you had returned it to its place and accommodated the fatal stone on the left side to the candle of his bureau.

The Gods are sometimes merciful, and apparently so is the Targaryen Prince. The chambers often remained unlocked, and by his instruction, the guards left the entrance unattended around the same time of your earlier visits. You would take a book from his collection, and he would place the rock marking the missing spot. Whenever you finished your reading, you would put it back in place, and the stone was to be accommodated at the left of the candle. A childish game, perhaps. But it was all it really took for you to discard the warnings of your peers and for romantic apparitions to plague your mind at night.

You wanted him. Truly. There was no room in your heart for power, or titles. But you wanted to comfort the soul of the disgraced Prince, hear him laugh, to thank him for his kindness, for extending his knowledge to you instead of punishing your intrusion of privacy, the defiance of your role. It did exhaust you a good deal, the uncertainty of your stay within the walls of The Red Keep. Having to be sly and poise about how you managed yourself, or to be met with heavy words of disapproval. Targaryen folk, closer to Gods than to men, were not to be played with, even if you were promised to one of them.

Still, when the state of affairs was concluded, and your place -and life-in the Red Keep was safeguarded, a new sorrow visited your soul. Consummating the marriage terrified you. You had attentively heard the warning stories of your mother, that even the most honorable and prestigious of men were to be deviant tyrants in bed, that pain went hand in hand with obedience, and the dangers of childbirth were not to be ignored. Suddenly scared, vulnerable, and not so certain of your newlywed husband’s kind character, you dreaded the day he finally came in to claim his bride’s virtue. You would make a point of visiting Helena in the dark hours of dawn, of avoiding being alone in a room with your husband, of taking walks through the gardens at night, sleeping in benches and waking just before the sun rose to return to the Prince’s chambers before being seen by members of the court.

Tired of this new-found routine, and wanting to sleep in the depths of a bed and its soft sheets, you decided that the occurrence was unavoidable, and the reasonable cost of your sexual condition.

If Aemond was surprised see you laying in bed when he walked into the chambers, he did not show proof of it on his face. You instantly regretted the color of the white cotton nightgown, translucent enough to showcase your hardened nipples. It wasn’t your intention to provoke the Prince, but the cold, humid weather of the Capital was at odds with your intent. The air was invited to come inside by the wide window, which offered a beautiful sight of all the candles burning in the distant homes of Westeros. You tried to distract yourself with the view.

Your husband took off his clothes. He looked tired, even under the dim, warm yellow lights of the room. He wore his silver hair in a queue, and as he quietly sat on the marital bed, you made a decision. Mustering all the courage on your heart, you decided to show him kindness for not questioning your nightly disappearances.

Restricting your movements, trying to tame your hands to be as tender and calm as they could be, as one would act in front of an unpredictable animal, you untied his hair. Slowly brushing the silver strings, untangling them after what seemed to be a tedious day. It was silly of you to feel scared of even this slight contact, but as the Prince slightly groaned upon your touch, you felt your heart beating rapidly in the outset of your neck. Controlling your fear of consummation, you continued to brush his hair, adding a small massage to his shoulders and broad neck. When it was finished, you tried to take a hold of yourself.

Yes, men could be cruel, but Aemond had shown a considerable amount of restraint and compassion.

Laying down in an uncomfortable synchrony, you both occupied the time by silently looking at the baroque decoration on the ceiling. After some time, the prince whispered to you “Are you disappointed with the exchange?” His voice sounded foreign to his character. Soft, vulnerable. You assumed he meant of your marital arrangement, and when you turned to face him, wanting to see the Prince in the eye while he spoke to you, his bared faced caught you by surprise.

His left eye, which was man crafted, was as blue as the real one. You did not know the name of the stone that filled his empty socket, but it was beautiful, and it reflected a much brighter light that the one available in the chamber. He shifted slightly, embarrassed upon your transfixed gaze, but he said nothing upon the matter.

Pretending to consider your answer for a moment, you murmured a no. You meant it. Seemingly relieved, your husband slowly nodded and laid down your legs, throwing a protective arm over them, drawing circles over your nightgown. Your hands instinctively moved to rest on his head, and you began to brush his silver moon with your fingers, tracing unmarked paths on the left side of his face. You could feel his warm breath against your skin, and you would have sworn that all the small muscles at the base of each hair of your leg contracted and burned with his touch. After a while, you felt something else. A soft smile against your skin. Your bodies could finally rest, releasing all of their contained fear. 

────────

Notes: I was inspired by the yellow wallpaper for this one. I’ve been thinking about him all month. Pleaseeee I need him so bad. Hope you enjoyed this one! Have fun and take care of one another

- Sidey xooo

Pd: Some parts of this fic will be re used and rewritten for a new series featuring Aemond!