#put this on main and my brain disagreed so its here

[portraitofamirror]

chilling and killing my annabel lee

[nemo-bros]

this is my new visual schedule:

i have no idea how to image describe pictures with so many things in them, so I'm sorry I have no image description, but I will do my best to explain the purpose of each page (left to right top to bottom)

the cover (keeps pieces from falling off if I put the flipbook in my backpack or something) the cover also has my name on it but I cropped this out

'first next then after' page (the main page I use, has my soonest upcoming tasks- I take pieces from the 'to do' page and put them here)

'to do' (at the morning I fill up this page with my tasks like cleaning, chores, and studying- I do have cards for other fun activities and eating but I only ues them on the first page in between tasks from this page)

'done' (when I finish a task on the 'first next then after' page I move it here- it gives me dopamine to see everything I finished that day and makes me less stressed about the amount of things I need to do)

hygiene page- this page is actually so so good its like a cheat code- If you take nothing else from this post at least take this idea: the top (orange) section is for the morning, the bottom (blue) section is for the evening. in the morning all the cards will be in the morning section, when I finish a task I get to move it to the evening section (repeat this for all 6 tasks). in the evening I do the tasks again but the cards get moved to the morning section this time. (if there's a day where I didn't finish then I just move them anyways the next morning as a "reset") this page is in my book but it's probably more helpful just to leave it in the bathroom on the counter or mirror or something (without systems like this I cannot take care of my basic needs, even with these supports and the additional supports in my home i cannot reliably take care of my basic needs)

images 6-9 show some of the word storage pages, I have a total of 10 of these pages

if you're curious at all how i made it let me know and i will post the steps i did to make it and where I got all the pictures!! (I want everyone to be able to access systems like these if they need them, so I am very open to sharing this)

something i really really like about this flip book is that its very tactile and very visual- it does not require very much brain power to use- I really like to just move around the pieces on the pages with the velcro as a stim

i was promted to do this because recently a teacher told me I just need to manage my schedule better and that I should be trying harder (little does she know I'm trying my hardest already)

ive tried so many types of schedules and routines and I just cant stick to them (this is one reason I suspect adhd in addition to my autism but idrk and it probably doesnt matter), but then after she said that I was like okay I guess this is a good excuse to try a visual schedule so I made one (very time consuming but also fun) and then am still disapproved of for some reason... I think she thinks its "too childish/I'm not disabled enough" which I disagree because if it helps and they need it then they should use it regardless of sterotypes- i think this is true for all adaptive tech and disability aids

my point in showing this is to let other autistc adults know that you can use visual schedules if they help you and to boost someone else's confidence for them to use an aid they are afraid to because its stigmatized (also yes mine looks kind of simple/etc but I chose to do it this way because it works good for my brain like this- not because its how all visual schedules should/need to look)

[fierce-kiwi]

Thrum

I recently finished reading Meg Smitherman's novella, Thrum, and I have some thoughts. I was not expecting to be so captured by this tiny little book as I was. None of what I am about to say is earth shattering, but I wanted somewhere to put my thoughts anyways, here it is......spoilers ahead, proceed with caution.

**SPOILERS**

How would our simple human brains react to coming face to face with something that is otherworldly? The talk of extra-terrestrials and are we truly alone in the universe is such an interesting topic and whether or not you agree or disagree with the idea, the question holds true. Throughout the story, Dorian, this vampire-esque alien gentleman, constantly tells Ami that the ship is sending out a frequency to protect her mind from basically imploding on itself because human minds are too fragile to grasp the concept of his entire existence. The ship, although somewhat protecting her, is also the cause of her extreme paranoia and memory loss. Ami inevitably makes it to the heart of the ship, where Smitherman provides an intense scene of light gore and somewhat of a reveal of who or what Dorian truly is. Blood is leaking out of every orifice on Ami's body and her skull pounds as if it is seconds away from shattering; ultimately this scene depicts a human nervous system collapsing from the brain trying to formulate what it is seeing into something it understands but is failing. If we were to make contact with something within or outside our own solar system, would this be how our bodies and minds would react or is the human mind capable of more than we think?

Smitherman also addresses throughout the book the concept of reality. Scientists are still debating and testing the brain to understand how it formulates reality; how experienced realities differ from perceived realities, no two brains are alike, and so on. I am by no means a neuroscientist, but its books like this that make me wish I would have gone that route. I will never be able to eloquently discuss in depth make-ups of the brain at this point, but it still fascinates me that two people can be sharing an experience but be processing it differently. Ami, in our story, is losing her mind quickly, or so we think. Towards the end of the book, it is revealed that she possibly has been losing her mind much slower and over a longer period of time due to the frequency emission of the alien ship/Dorian. She hits a breaking point and no longer believes anything she is experiencing or seeing is real. During these instances in the book were probably the main times I would consider the story a horror novel. The panic I felt as I imagined myself in Ami's place definitely caused some heart palpitations and secondhand stress. Later in the book, I start to wonder if it is actually the ship continuing to portray these images of false realities, or is she experiencing an extreme case of PTSD, and her own mind is creating her new reality. Especially the "ghosts" of her crew that she sees in the shadows and confronts on her trek to the ships core.

At the end, Ami chooses to stay with Dorian, who at this point is screaming Eldritch terror, but I felt she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She either stays with Dorian or accepts a slow painful death drifting through space on her dead ship. It seems that with her final acceptance of Dorian, she experiences an extreme calmness that I am assuming is her brain coming to an acceptance of the things around her, almost lowering her brains mental shields entirely and fulling succumbing to the ship. However, I can't help but wonder if the "memories" Ami was experiencing that explained what happened to her crew were true, going back to the issue that led her into this frenzy panic about what is real and what isn't. She just all of a sudden accepts the images she is seeing, concerning the deaths of her crew members, as fact. What if these were false memories created by the ship/Dorian to make Ami stay with him? Does Ami believe the feelings she is experiencing for this extra-terrestrial being are real? The fact that she killed her human love, Lily, makes me feel like everything Ami was experiencing, once contact was established, was a reality created for her for the selfish desires of the ship/Dorian. If allowed to be in her right mind, she would have remained with her crew and would have found a way together to get away or died trying. Or possibly would have been swept away by this all powerful being to sail across the galaxies in a very BBC special kind of way.

Maybe that is where the true horror of this novella lies. Having everything you know warped and taken away from you; only realizing it when it is already too late. To have control over not only your body but the deepest recesses of your mind, consumed for the gain of another; engulfed in an endless night and falling.

[tianshiisdead]

(here to fight) Nichu would never sail as ship because if China went for any East Asian country it'd be South Korea (and Japan is stuck on Italy)

HELLO ANON!!!!!!! thank you for taking my fighting offer kiss kiss 🙏 I love fighting

warnings i am going to be arguing for nichu and against itapan (as gently as I can) so please be warned!! i will not put it in the tag, do scroll if you like it and no hate to you <3

Honestly I don’t disagree there’s relatively (RELATIVELY) less bad blood between China and SKorea, and I agree that nichu wouldn’t ‘sail’ necessarily in modern day, but I do disagree that makes it less real than itapan or korchu (despite being a korchu shipper myself) purely because it’s a ship rooted in such a deep set history and national identity!! Like, okay, ships are always subjective, and as someone who’s quite history and nation brained, who enjoys the study of history and people and society, I do have that bias when interpreting ships and characters. I tend to treat hetalia canon as important but relatively more supplementary I think so that is going to affect my argument. I won’t argue too much against Korchu because I am fond of it as well but I do think that like… China is equally likely to go for either Korea or Japan because while he hates Japan, he um , likely disdains South Korea/is irritated by him, for not being grateful enough and for being beholden to The Enemy (the US). Like I think China dislikes Japan more but he also, in modern day, respects Japan a lot more…. and same goes for South Korea tbh. For the Itapan… I honestly can’t say much more than ‘I disagree’ JKLFDGFH I see what the shippers are putting down and I’m happy for them, I think the countries have a neat little history together, they have a cute bond in canon, but it’s not necessarily deep enough for me to be very interested in it. Of course they have a bit of history as nations but I don’t see it as much of a compelling one past fun facts and basic relations you’d expect fairly nations to have over the centuries of knowing of each other’s existence. It’s a cute ship but it doesn’t have the same level of historical basis as Nichu imo, Japan being fond of Italy in canon (which is a joke series that offers a certain flexibility to the characters + also has plenty of china-japan main moments) isn’t really enough to sway me, as someone who takes Hetalia fully as nation personification. China and Japan are nations who are paralleled and have thousands of years of history… which I will now elaborate on.

Nations are funny things, they are constructed through power and reified through these things such as contrasting one’s own social community with out-groups, so on and so forth. The concept of the nation after its birth, in order to remain relevant or alive in any sense, must constantly be reinforced, made physical and negotiated by its members as they pass through a world where the porosity of physical boundaries bleed into less physical national ones. I think of Hetalia, of nation personification really, as an extension of that. The nation is born through its history, their identities are shaped by their interactions with power, with each other, and with humans. They are systems made real, a physical manifestation of nebulous and ultimately artificial categories. I mean, identities are created things right? What makes a nation, a nationality? Is it your passport, your blood, your community? I’d argue no, all of these are aspects of a larger system that connects many separate things, but that system is only seen as one piece because of the fairly modern concept of the ‘nation state’ which we privileges as the ultimate unit of human groupings. Our cultures and nationalities are created things, and our building of our identities, our interactions with each other, all of these things continue to shape our nation itself, which in large part rests on our acknowledgement of it.

Now that I have my yapping out of the way I want to establish why this is important to Nichu. Nichu is, to me, a ship of national identity, a ship about the way systems interact and bleed into each other, about the movements of power between humans and the systems they live within. Japan and China have defined themselves with each other and defined each other through the years. Their systems, cultures, languages, legal systems, etc are all intertwined through thousands of years of history good and bad, and yet they lack the common roots and blurred founding myths that might make them meaningfully related or might make them feel like sibilings. No, their individual identities and histories are simply too strong to allow them to have that sort of tie, and yet, and yet, they nonetheless see each other as if looking through a mirror… Somehow, they’re totally separate nations who became intertwined throughout the passage of history.

Initially China taught Japan, and Japan as the periphery defined itself through a set of comparisons, through similarities and differences with China. As a nation on the edge of the sinosphere that floated in and out of being a tributary, Japan is a nation who had eras where it imported products and intellectual ideals on a massive scale from China, and eras where it sealed itself off from China. To China it barely existed, but to Japan China was this massive force right, much like Rome was to Europe. But then… later on, there came a time when Japan had ambitions to take over mainland East Asia: first the Imjin War and then later the colonial era. In that early modern period, China fell from its position of power centre and instead became a periphery, an object of colonialism, and many Chinese intellectuals travelled to Japan to study and learn and model China off of Japan’s East Asia modern in an attempt to raise the nation up. This is both similar and different from traditional western colonialism right, like of course the movements of intellectual class and adopting of foreign ideas is normal but this sense of closeness that Japan and China felt despite it all is very much a product of their shared history. Japanese and Chinese intellectuals put so much emphasis on this, China was learning from Japan because Japan was East Asian! Because it offered a formula for East Asia modern that took western ideas - but adapted them to what was thought to best suit East Asian peoples and cultures! This isn’t to say that should be taken at face value, the unequal relationship influenced everything and the concept of greater East Asian unity was in many ways copium, and colonialism was on the horizon, but it speaks to I think a sort of closeness, even if its a closeness that China itself also resents (for a good reason). Like… this is a reversal of roles and it also speaks to the ways nations from outside the west cope with a western modernity. It’s a way that teachers become students and students become teachers, a way power forms itself through relations. Japan… has always known of China, and in many eras focused on China as the hegemon. China has never viewed Japan, or at least very rarely… but in the modern day you find Japanese held within China’s modernity due to the way modern history played out, many political and technological terms and even early modern nation building and policy were mapped off of Japan the way Japanese nation building was once mapped off of China. It’s this ever intertwined relationship, their modern selves truly cannot exist without the other, driven ever closer and ever farther away.

I guess I like to think of it as a sort of chase, a tragicomedy, Japan who was always relatively more isolated than his mainland neighbors, lonely due to being an island reaching the height of his empire and falling, China who’s always returned to power and rolled his eyes at even his conquerers, but then suddenly being brought down to the role of student. An essay on a Meiji sinologist that I’ve quoted before puts it best I think, it’s one of my favourite quotes: ‘In colonizing its cultural ancestor, Japan lost a vital element of its own identity’. Isn’t that so interesting? Japan who had always chased after something only to lose that thing before he even gets his hands on it. China who can’t shake the ways his former student has shaped him in both policy and also through rage and pain. I’m endlessly fascinated with them and the ways they can’t quite pull themselves apart from each other. It’s not all hatred, they’ve shared many quiet moments as student and teacher and then teacher and student, there’s a familiarity to someone so close, who even while you speak different languages you can still make out the gist of each other’s writing due to a shared character-meaning system. I don’t know if these immortal nations would approach romance the way humans do, but whatever it is Nichu’s relationship is a deep and strange thing that is too strong to just put aside.

Aside from that really heavy stuff I think they could be cute in modern day as well <33 Of course we had a sort of honeymoon in the 1980s where Japanese investments meant a lot of cultural exchange, but even now… I do think they could go for karaoke and hook up afterwards or smthn idk

[silliestcolressfan]

I am going to do some infodumping about my silly lil 1776×Splatoon au because its taking over my brain ^_^

I'm also gonna make a specific tag for this: Splatoon 1776

Alr so number one, uhhhhhhh TJ

I've decided that's he's gonna be Agent 3 because like, why the fuck not?? Also, JA is gonna be Agent 8 so ^_^

So like, he lives a quiet life and enjoys the company of his intimates, RHL, his wife, Martha (yes, they're all gonna be legally adults), and a few others, depending on what I do with this au in future. He also plays the violin really well, to the point some believe that he should make music for a career, but he really doesn't want to. Too much attention and not such a quiet life

As an agent, he works hard, stays focused, and gets the job done!!!! He was really surprised when he saw JA in the deepsea metro, and even more surprised to see Abigail there. He has the scar from tartars hypnosis (I think that's what it's called? I'm not sure, sorry 😓😓)

He also mains the Octobrush

Next we have John Dickinson as Agent 4!!!!

Again, he was chosen for why the fuck not. Also, because I'm a strong believer that Parallel Canon is Agent 4, and one thing that happens in 1776 is that Adams and Dickinson fight.

He tends to just do his thing, ig (I'll have to ask @pingskumonium for help with Dickinson 😓) I just know that's he's friends with George Read, that he doesn't write straight, and that he disagreed with JA 🙏🙏

I think he'd either main the Splattershot or be a tenta missiles spammer with the Reef Lux 450

Next is JA as 8, as mentioned twice before ^_^

I chose him to be 8 because, well, their whole thing is like escaping the deepsea metro, saving the octolings, and defeating evils (eg, tartar, order). I've also took some creative liberties (with help from coroika) to put Abigail with him because he deserves his wife 🫶

So like, they got married and lived happily together in Octo Valley until she just. Disappeared. That's around when he encountered TJ (3) and Capn Cuttlefish, all three of which were attacked, and he woke up in the deepsea metro separated from 3, and everything I'm the Octo Expansion. Now, here's where more of my ideas come in. In 'Fake Plastic Station', Adams doesn't actually splat Abigail, who is the last sanitised octoling there, and instead spares her because he recognises her just ever so slightly. Also because she dropped her glasses and broke them after the ink jet (she has never used one until then), which the mechanism took as her being splatted. Therefore, the two return to the station together, as she no longer has the glasses (I'm like, 90% sure they have hypnosis powers. Even if they don't, this is my au so :333)

And the rest of Octo Expansion goes the way it does

Abigail is only sanitised because I wanted an excuse to put her in Side Order

JA would main Enperry Splat Dualies and Abigail would main the Octoshot. Change my mind 😋

[draconic-hazard]

Im bored and currently afflicted with terminal brain rot so here is my post about Which TMA Entity I Think WordGirl Characters Would Belong To. This post caters to me and me only bc idk how many wordgirlies like TMA

I might make another post later with more characters if i feel like it

Becky Botsford, AKA Wordgirl - The Eye

Lets put aside her superpowers for a second and focus on her main shtick: Words. It seems like she knows every word in the english language. Eye avatar behaviour 👁️👁️.

Dr Two-Brains - The Corruption

Alright some may disagree with me but hear me out. First of all he’s a mouse, which are generally associated with filth and disease and other nasty corruption things. Secondly, he has a second brain attached to his head. One could argue he and Squeaky have a parasitic type of relationship, classic calling card for the Corruption. Thirdly (and admittedly the weakest point on this list) he eats cheese and only cheese, which is basically just edible mold

The Butcher - The Flesh

Do… do i need to explain? Meat is his whole thing. I wish i could write more but like. This is pretty much self explanatory

Granny May - The Web

The web is all about manipulation, and Granny May has this down pat. Every single episode with her in it she is making people trust her because ‘oh look shes just a sweet old lady she cant possibly be robbing the banks 🥺🥺🥺’. Also her main attack is her yarn balls which some could argue is similar to the spiderweb thing that most Web avatars have going on

Mr Big - The Web

Ok so i have less of an argument for him than i did Granny May, but! There is still a case here. Mind Control is his thing, his brand, heck its even in his company’s mission statement. That sounds like Web behaviour to me. Also he’s a capitalist and name one thing more manipulative than capitalism

Tobey McCallister III - The Extintion

WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT! Tobey is all about robots, and destroying things with said robots. Now that may sound kinda slaughter-y, but a lot of the times the episodes conflict is also about Tobey thinking robots can do a better job and everything than humans, be it painting, sports, or even being his mom. One part of the Extinction that is slightly overlooked imo is the idea that after the apocalypse, a new, and inhuman species will inherit the nuclear wasteland of an earth we’d leave behind. And who else to rule that wasteland than an army of giant robots? Plus he’s the youngest of the (main) villains, which could be a little nod to the fact that the extinction is the newest of the fears

Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy - The Buried

This one was kind of a struggle, because sandwiches aren’t very scary so how would one draw a connection to fear entities there? But i believe i have a case here. So! His main attack is his condiment gun, which sprays mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise, which seems to solidify around the target, thus trapping them as they are unable to move. Plus, a machine that we see him use several times in the series is his giant sandwich press, which works by crushing down a target. Awful lot of claustrophobia, wouldn’t you say? Also idk why but he has the same vibes as i feel most buried avatars have (no offence intended)

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think we need to switch up "hear me out" cakes to be multiple cakes

and your friends' reaction decides where your pick goes. like. they do "the council has decided to hear you out" type shit, y'know?? like. not on degrees of "we agree/disagree" but on the "this is a Hear Me Out/that is a Chronically Online take/that is a You Are Not Alone pick", you feel me?? i can say more

(also heads up: all my examples here are male. bc im building off what ive seen on people's cakes and most of "the spectrum" is men; bc a LOT of people's female hear-me-outs are just "a woman who is mid 30s or older" (who may be a lil kooky, like Eda Clawthorne from "Owl House") or be a female monster-fuckery example (like the female xenomorph from "Alien"). i've never seen an in-between in one of these cakes. the only one iiiii could think of was when 10 year-old me thought itd be cute to hold hands with (in a sapphic puppy-love way) or kiss the cheek of Eliza Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberries", but even then, i dont think Eliza is that weird for me to have crushed on as a kid??? anyway. if a wlw or "im not a girl but i like girls in a sapphic way" type or even a "im horny for women in a way that is not a cishetero white man's headspace" wants to help me by thinking of female equivalences for these following categories??? ill proverbially kiss your forehead. my brain is too dead rn, im also a two-spirited person who is kinda aroace (demi-romantic and very asexual) anyway, and im too focused on "Hollywood, do better" about the lack of spectrum for women to Actually Think Of The Rare Female Characters Who Do Fit This Overall Spectrum Of Items rn)

1️⃣: the main biggie is still the "hear me out" cake

in my opinion, these are ones where the creators themselves would be shocked you liked them (eg. me when i was 11 and going all 👉👈 about the headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie" or, y'know what, fuck it, the number 5. not Numbuh 5 from "KND", but the literal number 5 in mathematics. give me absurdism). and i say "creators" bc there shouldnt be irl humans here; bc thats either mean bc its based on looks (stop putting Steve Carrell in there) or its "buddy?? this just killed the mood" (like irl serial killers and shit, like, "no, no, save that for your therapist, no"). so we are predominantly looking at fictional, animated (2D, CGI, comics, illustrated, etc), puppets, masked, heavy make-up, that kinda thing okay?? not just a literal irl person and their face. that just feels mean (why! have i seen!! Steve Carrell! four different times!! guys!!! he's a real person who other real people can look like, that could hurt his or someone's feelings in a big way, wtf!) plus also some absurdism (again, the number 5, but maybe also planets? like Planet X would be on par with the number 5 to me of baffling but "...y'know what? i'll hear you out. sell me on this" lmao)

but again, that's irl humans. so it can be fictional Regular Humans (they just, i guess, gotta be very heinous to be a Regular Human yet qualify for this) (eg. Chris McLean from "Total Drama Island". bc my friends heard me out during a ppt of Weird Childhood (+ Some Lifelong) Crushes i did where one slide was the "Growing Up Creepie" cockroach with snorts and snickers, but still. and then i changed slides to Chris and they screamed and did a (joking) impromptu intervention for me bc of that, even tho *i* think Chris McLean should be one of the two other cakes im about to mention. but i have been out-voted), it can be costumed actors (eg. a live-action "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" of your choice, the Ferryman from "Annabelle Comes Home", the logo of the Quaker Oats guy, or MAYBE Moe from "The Doodlebops") where there's a spectrum of "that's a guy and his face" and enough make-up where you're like "okay, this hear me out has nothing to do with the facial features here being considered 'ugly' or unconventional"

but just: overall the Appearance Fuckery is either "has no intention of making this person/creature/thing remotely attractive" (eg. i seriously doubt the number 5 was designed to "be hot" lol) OR "they are actively trying to make this person not-hot and not-cool on purpose" (eg. the giant headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie", he's not supposed to be hot or cool, he's just kinda there lol but i guess you could also argue like.. idk, im thinking of how Robert Pattison did a very unattractive voice while acting as the Grey Heron of "The Boy & The Heron". like, youre not supposed to find the Heron attractive or cool or anything, i think lmao). that's the point here. at least to me

2️⃣: the other is "normal: but chronically online take" cake, it is the middle one of this trio i am pitching

in my mind, this is the category where "someone put effort to make this character seem attractive or cool or likable beyond their actions"... but they're also unconventional as a pick, it's "not a 'normie' choice" to make (no derogatory intent to "normies" btw)

so this is where we get into shit like the Green Goblin from the Toby McGuire "Spider-man" movies, specifically his robo-suit. sure, the suit may not be rom-com-attractive to look at, and, sure, he may be written sympathetically so audiences have affection for them (moreso Osborn with how they made him scared of himself and clueless to the harm he has caused, but close enough); but that robo-suit WAS made to look COOL. it was made to be liked and gotten toys and posters of, and a person having a crush on the Green Goblin in the robo-suit is a "normal: but chronically online take" in my mind. does that make sense?? bc im adding John Silver from "Treasure Planet" up there too, bc it's Disney and he was meant to be likeable (to betray Jim, yeah, but still), he was not meant to be a romantic lead, but he was drawn and characterized to be likable. that's just a fat man that's a cyborg and a little bit alien; and he's hot. he's a normal person to like, in my mind

but this category as a whole would be me vaguely Getting why some "normies" would scream "nO, YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS" at the pitch, yet also knowing all of my fellow chronic online buddies would approve of the same pitch. like, the chronically online just heard "goblin robot suit" and "anti-hero dad-figure fat cyborg pirate" be upheld as a "hear me out" and would respond like "ah, good choice, mmhm, yes" like we were discussing wine. but like. then my friends wouldve paused and gone like "....not weird enough to be a 'hear me out' tho". like?? as if it's objectively true or a Basic Bitch take? (my chronically online brethern: it's not. lmao it just is a Basic Bitch take to our niche, it's Fucking Weird outside of us)

so it's that in-between of "would be Freak Behavior to any hypothetical 'normie', but would not be to anyone chronically online". so the 1️⃣ category would be where both "normie" and the chronically online are going "pARDON??? HUH?" to the same extreme degree. but this one, 2️⃣, is where it's a more lower-level mix. like maybe some chronically online are going "hUH??" while some are going "oh, yeah, obviously"; but for the most part, this is "normies" go "HUH?" and chronically online go "this is an objectively agreed upon take, not a 'hear me out' pitch". idk, i hope that makes sense. like. maybe some more examples would help, we already discussed two, but we can do more. the two i just did were examples of "not THE most 'obviously yeah' takes for the chronically online" because i wanted to start us in on the logic of why they would count here (at least, to me) so then these next ones can be a "ooooh, yeah, i can see what you mean now", you feel me?

bc, yeah, obligatory "yes but that's obviously objective and not a 'hear me out' pitch" to Kovu from "Lion King II", yes, Nick Wilde from "Zootopia", yes, Robin Hood fox from Disney's "Robin Hood", yes, Gil from "Finding Nemo", yes, Garrus from "Mass Effect", etc, etc, again, they were made to be a romantic lead and/or made to be cool. so, to me, liking them is very normal. and, again, i get that it only is a "yes OBVIOUSLY tho" in ✨️a chronically online✨️ way. but i think most other chronically online people would agree like "yes, weird to 'normies'; but not us" and i think both the "normies" and the More Newly Chronically Online could follow the logic since we just broke down how Green Goblin's robo-suit and alien-cyborg John Silver might be More Unusual Picks but same logic of "made to be liked in some way, ergo Liking Them Like That is not actually that weird". you feel me??

like the creators of these fictional guys would go "oh!! oh, that makes sense, yeah, okay, didnt intend that but nice!" you feel me?? like the spectrum goes from "wHAT?!! ...actually, y'know what, i see it" to "odd choice, but also?? of course". am i making sense?

like you could put your unconventionally attractive people here if they dont quite fit (or fit at all, potentially) with the next cake. like, i wouldnt be mad if the the Purple Wiggle from the original "The Wiggles" group went here, y'know?? like, yes, the Purple Wiggle breaks my "please have it be animated or a puppet or a mask or have heavy make-up, so we arent just potentially arguing about facial features of an irl human (bc that's mean)" rule technically. but thats enough of a "hUH?? i mean yeah buT HUH????" that i, for one, would forgive it and let the Purple Wiggle be on this cake. because it's not about his face or appearance: it's a "hUH??" because he is a fucking Wiggle, so that's what makes him unconventional. does that make sense?? like the "....fucking way way out of left-field, but Yeah Okay" type "unconventials" rather than "well yEAH" like Milo Thatch from "Atlantis" or Roger Dearly from "101 Dalmations" who would be on the next cake (instead of this one), for me, personally)

3️⃣: and the last one (as far as i can think of it, and this one would really be a cupcake or a one-person-serving of cake bc your goal is the other two. this one shouldn't have too many people on it, so you skimp out on this cake for sure) is like the council deciding "normal: not as weird as you think, you're not alone at all" cake. not a "you're basic" tho, but that this pick is more popular with society than the person realizes it is

first of all: this is not a "punishment cake" of "nope, doesnt count". i just vote it be the smallest cake bc it will, ideally, have the least amount of people in it compared to maybe the other two. but yeah, it should be a "no, thats such a valid take, i think it should go on the 'youre not alone' cake", y'know?? like, this cake's purpose isnt to knock someone down, its to be like "omg dude i have so many tiktok thirst edits of this character to show you after this" or "there should be so many more of this guy, this has to be objectively True That This Person Is Attractive, i think we as a society just agree via osmosis, we dont need to hear you out, we need to let you into the discussions about them, let's set up a text-channel on discord about them" type of 🌈realization🌟 okay?? bc the moment anyone is mean about someone trying to be vulnerable and silly online, im rescinding my pitch for this cake. cool? cool

this is for the people who put on Stiles Stilinski from "Teen Wolf" and just... buddy, idk if you actually read the assignment. Dylan O'Brien who plays Stiles Stilinski is an attractive man, like who needs to "hear you out" on this?? im confused? let me show you how MANY MANY MANY edits and fan-art that man has, even with his head shaved. like. im not mad you picked him, he's an attractive guy, sure, why not. i just am surprised if someone maybe teased you to the point of bullying to have thought this was a "hear me out" and not a "oh, yeah, well, of course, that much is obvious". like. that's fucked up if someone made fun of you for Dylan O'Brien (or Steve Carrell since i mentioned him before. and, really, all irl people go on this cake. hell, i wouldn't be surprised if the Purple Wiggle ended up on this cake after some council deliberation and after the surprise of "The Wiggles" name-drop had calmed down). but also, like, someone bond with the two tiktokers i saw pick Dylan O'Brien and show them fanfic of Stiles and thirst edits of his role in "Teen Wolf", preferably while the said tiktokers gets to giggle with ice-cream and a cozy blanket, bc they deserve to have known about the outpour of love their pitch has had, they do not deserve mocking or hatred for their pitches, bc they didnt know what they didnt know

but also i think kind of most fictional characters who are Main Characters + Have A Romantic Interest go here, even if theyre slightly unconventionally attractive, like i said with Milo Thatch of "Atlantis" and Roger Dearly of "101 Dalmations". maybe a different group of friends would decide otherwise, but if i was in your tiktok?? "not as weird as you think" cake for sure for Milo and Roger. like. id also put some "odd choice but yeah" that are not SUPER out of left-field here, like i saw someone put on a couple of people who are Fright Actors that have gone viral. and im like "..out of left-field for sure, but part of why they went viral is bc they are conventionally attractive 9 times out of 10", you get me?? does that make sense? like i saw someone say "the grandpa from the 'Johnny Tsunami' movies" and that's out of left-field and there's no thirst edits of him (as far as im aware), but also i would say "not as weird as you think, actually"

like. the boundaries are nebulous and group-dependent, but i just think itd be fun and itd be a cool spin that also will get some comments to shut up about what is/isnt a "hear me out" cake. bc i agree some of these "hear me out" cakes dont have enough of group 1️⃣ (for me), and are instead all 2️⃣ and 3️⃣ (for! me!!); but also sometimes people just are unaware and haven't been "let into the room" to know how popular and/or objectively acceptable their pick is, and i dont wanna shame people for that lack of awareness, that's mean. instead, get excited for them like "omg i have so much to show you!" or "we NEED to talk after this video bc hard-same but nobody else is talking about it, i feel like!!" y'know??

but, yeah, that's my compromise/pitch lmao

[measureyourlifeincake]

Malevolent E9 (not specifically about that ep but yknow. i havent listened past it so if anything i say is contradicted by anything in later eps, that's why): Been thinking about how Malevolent's story is so defined by the constraints of its creation and the problem-solving used to get around that (I mean, I suppose the same can be said to some degree for nearly any piece of art, but it really jumps out for me here).

The first and most obvious example is Arthur's blindness, with John "acting as his eyes" by describing their surroundings for him (and the audience)—it's (to me at least) clearly contrived as a way to get around the "This Gun In My Right Hand Is Loaded" problem, but it also is kind of the main conceit of the plot, and immediately defines John and Arthur's relationship—Arthur has to rely upon John from the jump, even though he has no real proof of his intentions or trustworthiness. "I have your eyes," John says, a threat as much as it is a fact. All John has to do to harm Arthur is stop talking and watch him blunder around without his help (which he does do eventually, but the threat hanging over his head is, at least initially, enough to convince Arthur to cooperate with him). It's an interesting tool for the audience to understand what is going on at any given point of the story, but also, it has real actual consequences in the story that reverberate through the narrative.

(putting the rest under the cut bc this got Long)

There's also the fact that John and Arthur are constantly recapping what has happened and laying out what all their options and potential consequences of said options are going forward. To me, this (as well as the above) feels like the author's main goal is to make sure the audience is clear on Exactly what is going on At All Times. The episodes only come out once a month, after all, and it could be hard to remember what happened in the last episode if you haven't revisited it since then (also I am just now realizing that this is sort of paralleled with Arthur's month-long coma). There's also the thing about how apparently Patreon supporters can influence where the story goes, and I'm not entirely sure how that works, but it gives Guthrie another incentive to make sure the audience has all the possible options laid out for them.

But, while I do think this is done mainly for the audience's benefit, it does also tell us a lot about Arthur and John's characters/relationship. It says that, despite any differences of opinion or questions of trust they may have—they do view whatever they have together (which I have been told... changes over time, but for right now I'm just talking about their relationship up until where I've listened) as an actual partnership—they want to make sure they are on the same page, or at least understand what the other is thinking. They may disagree on the correct course of action, but Arthur pretty much always tells John what he's doing instead of trying to get one over on him. Also, since they do try to reason out everything they do, and Arthur keeps charging into risky situations ass-first anyway, it tells us that Arthur sees himself as a very intelligent and rational man, when really he just seems to be very good at justifying whatever stupid decisions he might make in the pursuit of Knowledge.

And then there's uh. Women. (I sorta mentioned this in a different post but I can't stop turning it around in my brain)

So it seems that Harlan Guthrie a) has decided to not hire any voice actors and just voice every character himself, and b) doesn't seem to believe himself capable of convincingly voicing a female character (or just doesn't want to. idk).

This doesn't mean that there aren't any women or girls in Malevolent—on the contrary, the podcast is full of them. They are all either old crones or daughters—crazy old women and wraiths and babies and missing girls and missing girls and dead missing girls. They cry, they wheeze, they laugh, they write letters to close friends (but of course, their friends are not there to read the letters), but they can never speak for themselves, in their own voices. They must be dead, or wordless, or both.

They haunt the narrative, and haunt the narrative, and haunt the narrative. They are metaphysically incapable of doing anything else. They can save Arthur's life, help guide his way, but they can never have a simple conversation with him. Obviously Arthur had to be in a coma for just long enough that Amanda/Sarah died before he could talk to her. It couldn't ever have gone any other way—the world doesn't work like that.

And then there's Arthur's daughter. She's dead. It hasn't been explicitly stated yet at the point I'm at (she's mentioned for the first time at the end of E9), but it's pretty obvious. Not only did he mention her name first when he was literally dying, but just. Of course she is. There's no chance she isn't, that maybe Arthur thinks she's dead but really something else has happened to her—all daughters are dead. That's just how it works. (except for that one baby, I suppose. The baby is interesting—I notice they explicitly refer to her as female when I don't think they had a way to know that*. She just Is a girl, she has to be. She needs protecting, therefore she is a Daughter, plain and simple).

And learning that Arthur has (had) a daughter has caused me to look at the rest of the girls in this podcast differently (and is honestly a big reason why I wanted to write this post in the first place.) Those missing-turned-dead girls, the baby, all those young girls haunting the narrative—they're all his daughter, naturally. (not literally but y'know, meta-narratively or whatever) They're not just haunting the narrative, but haunting him specifically.

Anyway, girls haunting horror stories and fridged women and whatever other tropes that keep women from fully participating in stories are nothing new, obviously (and I imagine that Guthrie is very intentional when he invokes those tropes—this whole thing is a big ol' nod to Lovecraft, there's no way this guy is doing horror tropes by accident), but the fact that it seems to be like that mostly because Guthrie just Didn't Want to Hire An Actor makes it way more interesting to me.

I'm sure most (if not all) of this has been discussed in the fandom already, but I haven't read any meta or anything yet and I just wanted to get my thoughts down. Honestly, part of why I made this post is that I feel like I can clearly see what Guthrie was going for in how he built this story (/is building this story) and how it works within the world of the characters, but I'm still trying to puzzle out how I personally feel about the choices he made. (ex: do I appreciate how clear he makes things for the listener or do i feel like my hand is being held to much and i'm not being trusted to understand what's going on? if the latter, is it integrated into the story well enough for me to forgive it?) Writing this has... not actually helped much. I'll let you know if I figure it out.

*Okay I went back to the transcript, and it seems they start using she/her pronouns for the baby as soon as the old woman gives her to them. I assumed that the baby was wearing clothes or swaddled in a blanket the whole time, but I don't think this is ever explicitly stated, so it's possible it could've been clear once John was able to get a close enough look at her. Still, this is very much glossed over. Which, granted, it would be weird if they took a moment in the text to like, look at the baby's genitals, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dreamii-krybaby]

Oh god my silly goofy brain can’t stop but hi again! Its been a long time I wanted to post this somewhere so why not here?

Thoughts on the show Murder Drones:

Heads up: I personally suck when it comes to expressing thoughts or ideas,so sorry in advance if I all of this is a mess or gives a wrong idea,all of this are just my thoughts and opinions,if you disagree with them thats ok! Just be respectful

So as for now I have watched and seen every single official content of MDs and boi its a blast of a series! I originally knew Glitch Productions from Meta Runner! Anyways

I love the series,but like with everything,it has its problems

The humor in the show was a bit too “on the nose” for me in the pilot,but the jokes have grown in me,and EP2 nails it with my humor taste!

As for the animation? Stunning but it does bother me a little but that is has a lot of problems with clipping,especially the pilot but EP2 doesn’t seem to have as many as the pilot. The clothing of the characters sometimes look…wonky? I guess thats how I would describe it?

And as for the writing? I feel like it has a lot of potential but it seems like thats cut short due to the fact that the series is going to be short (being around 8 episodes according to the fan wiki) and also with the amount of minutes episodes have (I wouldn’t mind having to wait longer for 40 mins episodes of MDs) so some concepts seem to has a really fast pace for me

I think my main problem with is Ns redemption arc,Now now put down your pitchforks please-

I don’t mind N switching sides since the pilot,its more of its execution…it felt a tad bit rushed

I would have enjoyed that before N spared Uzi,in the time they were bonding in the ship,bc at that time N thought Uzi was a DD, I would have liked if they talked about how they feel around other people. Like maybe uzi could make a joke or a reference on how shitty school is for her,how her people reject her,maybe that she is constantly alone and doesn’t feel loved by her father. And the both could bond over the fact they are outcasts and desperate of approval or affection. This could make N sparing Uzi as more of “the last straw” since he already knows how shitty people treat her,seeing her dad leaving her for dead be “the nail in the coffin” for him. Basically make them bond over their shared problems before Uzis spare.

I understand that Ns killing spree in the pilot happened bc he wanted to get rid of Uzis railgun,but he also wanted to take down Uzi too and he also killed a bunch of WDF members. If he truly wanted to just get rid of the gun he could have simply stole it and destroy it but he didn’t why? Because he wanted to “give his best” but I feel like that didn’t come to me after a few weeks of analyzing it (or maybe am stupid) So make this man show his desperation,show this cinnamon roll desperation for approval even if it means killing innocents,he wants nothing more but the safety and approval of his co-workers and the company to extreme lengths.

Anyways back to him switching sides,I want the this boyboss to suffer- OK OK HEAR ME OUT PLEASE-

N does show regret from all the mass murder,but lets make that shit even better. I want to see N having a existential crisis,I want him to be consumed by guilt by the fact he killed thousands,ruined countless of families and gave them insane amount of trauma.

I want him to deal with the fact he did horrible things and there is nothing he can do to fix it. I want him to be scared of himself . I want Uzi to be hesitant of befriending him,maybe even sometimes getting flashbacks from their first encounter making her afraid of N,making N feel horrible about himself.

I want him to go “well,I definitely have done horrible things that can’t be undone,but I can change for the better”

Like please it would be the perfect arc for him PLEASE-

And of course,I want to see some WDs still be terrified,angry,scared of him. Like even of he saves a bunch of WDs some of them will still resent N for all the damaged he has causes in the past. He could Encounter WDs who had scaped from him,family members or friends of the ones he killed,and they simply can’t bear to trust him which is completely valid

It could also be a nice contrast to Uzi’s arc,Him having a redemption arc and having to earn some of the colony’s trust and accept the fact that he can’t be trusted by everyone unlike Uzi’s arc which is literally a Villian arc and loosing trust of everyone around her that she slowly gained

Edit: Btw I am aware that N wasn’t malicious or anything and just simply following orders,this is more after he switches sides,like after he realizes WDs were actually innocent lil dudes vibing,all of this is more of a “oh shit,oh fuc-“ moment

I also want to see Js backstory,maybe a bit more depth for her,I hope we get a backstory for her and it explains her hatred for N

I hope to also see a bit if more Vs character and development! She wasn’t really someone I was interested in until EP2 (Damm EP2 was really a step up)

I honestly enjoy most of the character because they aren’t simply “good or bad” (except for J,lizzy,they are jerks. Thad is literally a saint. And also I don’t personally consider Khan being “bad”,like yeah he fucked up he isn’t malicious or evil)

Speaking of khan…I actually grown on him,no joke,let me explain

Yes he left Uzi for dead,which is horrible but understandable. The more you look at it my man was having a ptsd attack,he was shaking for gods sake,he probably wasn’t thinking straight. He also showed deep guilt in doing it

Yes information gotten from the backgrounds have shown he prefers doors over Uzi and in an interview he calls her a disappointment,which is horrible but some of his thoughts process are understandable or have changed (I think)

At the end of EP2 he does show genuine care for Uzi he just..sucks at parenting which can happen! You can care for someone and want to but your execution sucks ass

I honestly find his character fascinating,it seems (and I hope) that the direction they are going to take his character is from being a shitty father to improving as one

I have rarely seen parental characters who start shitty but later improve for the sake of their loved ones,which is super fun and can have wholesome moments

(Btw am not justifying Khans actions,am just telling you that they are understandable)

Also the ending of episode EP2 has shown that Khan may have some tension with N,which is valid honestly and I am excited how it will play out

Also we need more content of Thad,Uzi and N bonding together (I call them the TUN squad)

I also want Lizzy character development,please give the lesbian development like her gf. I only slightly like her bc of her funny moments and bc she is pretty.

Also am so sorry but the WDs school uniform needs a redesign am so sorry- like what are those colors??? They look fine by themselves but they don’t match with the color pallet of the students!

I also prefer Dolls hair color from her concept art or from the pilot,and I want Lizzy to have pink tips in her hair like her concept art

Also I know I want the idea of the boyboss going through a complex redemption arc but I need more Evil laughs from this man..please…🛐🛐🛐🛐 His short ass evil chuckle from the pilot and the teaser makes me go 🛐🛐🛐 (as you can see I am very down bad for this man)

[satohqbanana]

News from the North

Summary: Ean gives Uthar the bad news from Shaenlir.

Note: I've no idea how to call this series. "Append"? "Expansion Pack"? "Characterization Patch"? Help. I might've used all my brain on trying to put more character for AV2 characters. (Either way, this is now part of my AV2 "AU".)

--

Despite how imposing its grey, stone walls seemed, Thais was very accommodating. Upon making their request, the armored men simply told Ean and Iya to go inside - a contrast to the strict and stuffy guards stationed in Shaenlir.

Even so, Ean rehearsed his request with Iya.

"You would then address him as, 'Your Highness'," Iya instructed. "Remember to be very polite. The royalty and the nobility are supposedly very sensitive about their titles."

"That's too many rules!" complained Rye, who walked behind them. "I'm sure the Prince of Thais would be more understanding. Time is of essence here and we can't waste that on worrying over how we say things!"

"Unfortunately, the rich are not lenient about such matters."

Rye disagreed again. Not wanting to further argue, Ean said, "Thank you for your concern, Rye, but I'd rather follow Iya's advice. She'd spent more time in a castle than either of us, so I trust her words."

"It's an emergency. Acting so formally makes the matter feel less urgent!"

The guard escorting them cleared her throat. The group quieted as they were led through a wide doorway and into a throne room not unlike the one in Shaenlir. In the middle of it marched a man in a regal purple cape, with a face and demeanor just like to the fancy stories of princes that Ean and Iya grew up on.

This man had to be Prince Uthar.

"Sire," said the guard as she knelt, "These travellers wish to speak with you."

Under Iya's directions, Ean's group bowed before the prince.

Contrary to Ean's expectations, the prince chuckled. "Must you be so formal? I feel as if I am meeting dignitaries!"

Ean's ears picked up on Rye's annoyed 'I told you so' and Iya's exasperated 'shut up', but those were not as important as the time the prince granted them.

"Your Highness, I, ahem, I beg your pardon. I come bearing grave news from Shaenlir."

The prince raised his hand. He commanded the guards in the room to leave at once. "What of this news?"

"The Queen of Shaenlir has, um, showed her true colors." Ean waited for any cues, but the prince did not show any change in his expression. "She has imprisoned your parents, the King and Queen of Thais, and her other guests in ice. She plans to take control of the kingdoms and take over the world. As proof, I, er, we present to you her adoptive daughter, Princess Iya… or, former Princess Iya, that is."

Iya made another curtsey. Uthar's brows furrowed as he eyed Iya.

"And I assume that the former princess was part of her schemes?" he clarified.

"Yes. Iya is my friend, and we come from the Vale. The Snow Queen sensed great potential in her and wanted her for her powers. I came to your world, to this realm to save her, but I was tasked by a crazy old woman to tell you about the Snow Queen's schemes."

"A 'crazy old woman', you say?"

"Yes. An old woman. She speaks in riddles. We met her in a decripit hut in the Northern Pass. She must be some form of sage, but I've no choice but to believe her."

"Does this old woman wear long green robes and tie her hair in a bun? And did she suddenly appear before you?"

"Yes, that's what she wore, and yes, she wore her hair akin to a-- Er, um, how do you know?"

The prince placed his fists over his hips and grinned. "It's a long story, but let's say my family has a long history with this woman."

He stepped away and chuckled. "Don't worry, my friend. Though your tale sounds tall, I believe you. We've had suspicions on the Snow Queen's activities for a long time, but we hadn't known when she would take action. Besides, she has rallied her forces along the main roads of the mainland. Trade has slowed, and so did the communication between kingdoms."

"You don't seem to be so worried, Sir… Sire."

"What happened to my parents, their acquaintances, and our allies is unfortunate, but it is a risk we had anticipated. Why don't you and your friends stay the night? You look quite weary."

Flustered, Ean shook his head and his hands. "Oh, no, we couldn't possibly--"

"Nonsense! Besides, I would like to hear more about the Snow Queen from her former daughter."

Ean turned around. Iya looked unsure, but she nodded nonetheless. Rye, on the other hand, look quite surprised.

"And what is your name, Good Sir?" asked Uthar.

"Ean, Sire."

"Ean." Uthar nodded and gave him a couple of reassuring pats on the shoulder. "Welcome to Thais."

Things went well better than expected.

--

Rye had warned Ean that the two of them would probably not share a table with the prince, but lo and behold, Uthar himself invited them to dinner. The servants behind him presented the two boys with clothes of such fine quality - even finer than the ones Ean had worn to sneak into the Snow Queen's castle.

Rye seemed ecstatic at first, but soon grew annoyed at the final layer of embroidered clothing he put over himself.

"This thing is made of my sisters' dreams!" he grumbled from the other side of the room. "Look at these gaudy colors!"

"I don't think it's too bad. Besides, it's just for one night."

"I'd rather be wearing armor. What even is the deal with the Prince and your girlfriend?" Ean would protest at the term, but Rye continued talking. "Why do we have to be included in their conversation?"

"Maybe he's just being polite."

"Too polite, too accommodating to us commoners. I think it's quite suspicious. He might want something from us."

"I don't think he'll be unreasonable."

"We'll see."

For someone who claimed he wanted to see the world, Rye seemed quite closed to the idea of sharing a meal with a person whose status was supposedly above his. Due to such a conflict, Ean figured Rye simply itched to be on the road again and was trying to vent his irritation somehow.

Someone knocked on their room, and Ean opened the door to a servant. He and Rye were led to a large hall with a large table, upon which were large covered plates.

"Took your guests long enough."

At the head of the table was Uthar, on his side were Iya and a man Ean did not recognize. This other man was taller, though thinner, than Uthar, but their faces were of a similar structure. Ean deduced them to be brothers and did a bow.

"We deeply apologize, Sire."

"Hmph."

"Pay no heed to my brother," said Uthar, "Come. Sit with your friend."

Ean took his seat next to Iya, and on his other side sat Rye. Uthar clapped and the servants uncovered platefuls of warm, aromatic food. Rye's annoyance faded as his stomach growled. First, he feigned disinterest, but his mouth watered anyway, so he resigned himself to his appetite's interest.

Ean, however, could not focus on the food.

As they started dining, Uthar introduced Ean's group to his brother, Nicolas. After which, Nicolas stared at Iya and began asking about her life in Shaenlir. She mentioned being locked up in the palace, but being pampered everywhere she went. A few more quips here and there, and soon all three of them were chuckling together.

Though he heard their voices, Ean understood nothing. Try as he might, he could not follow the conversation at all. Rye elbowed him and he lost his concentration.

"What?"

"You should try the fish. It's a solid 10 out of 10."

"I'm trying to listen."

"You don't have to."

"Why not?"

"Did you see the way Prince Nicolas looked at us? He'd rather we not be here."

"I don't think that's true. I think he was just surprised--"

Rye kicked his foot under the table. Ean jumped a little, and when Uthar took notice, Rye apologized for the slight commotion, using his own clumsiness as an excuse.

"Your companions could use a little more finesse," said Nicolas.

"Now, now. Let's not get distracted." Uthar said. "Milady, we were speaking of the layout of the palace."

As Iya and the princes resumed their conversation, Ean turned to Rye and lowered his voice even more.

"What was that for?"

"Did you see what the other prince do? He was talking to us, but indirectly. We're not welcome here, Ean, so finish your food before his patience runs too thin!"

"But I… Iya…"

"She'll be fine!"

Ean glanced at his childhood friend once again, and the pang in his heart grew. Of course - though she remembered him and cared for him, this was not the Iya he knew from the Vale.

This was a new Iya. Though incomplete in soul, her newfound confidence as a songstress allowed her to stand her ground and speak more firmly. Her radiance filled the room, outshining even the nice dress she wore. Here she was, enjoying the time of her life, having an easy conversation with two figures of authority in this realm.

Ean forced food into his mouth. His thoughts swirled.

Though he came here to bring her back, he reconsidered: was it any good to go back, at all? Back in the Vale, Iya's mother and grandmother would rather dote on their youngest. When Iya once failed to show her potential for singing, her family began to show favor for her sister instead. Iya shrank, constantly made mistakes, and eventually lost hope in herself - all because of the people she lived and grew up with.

In the Vale, she'd been nothing but miserable since that one spring. But here, where she was merely a stranger, people were way warmer towards her. Even the citizens of Shaenlir, though her princesshood had been a falsehood, had nothing but praise for her.

Would Iya want to be here or there? He did not know, but he had no reason to stay in this realm. Furthermore, since he'd given Prince Uthar the news, the group should be on their way to find the nymphs.

"…an. Ean. EAN!"

The loud, deep voice rang in the hall. Ean snapped back to reality and looked around. Seeing everyone's eyes on him, he flushed in his seat.

"S-sorry, what can I help you with?"

Uthar chuckled, and the tension eased. "Ean, my good Sir, I was asking you how you find the food."

"…it's…" Should he be truthful, or should he lie a little? "It's not like what we eat at home."

"My, my, a little homesick, are you?"

Nicolas covered his mouth, but the motions on his shoulders betrayed his snickering.

"I'm afraid my brother has a little proposition that would further your homesickness," Uthar explained. "Iya here mentioned that you are looking for the nymphs. I wouldn't know where they are, but since you're on the road anyway, we'd like you to take a detour for us."

"…yes?"

"Since your group arrived here after escaping her forces, Nicolas presumes that you and you friends can sneak around the mainland and send a letter for us."

"A letter? For whom?"

"For Princess Ella IV of Candar. The way is up north, and while it is littered by pesky thieves and brigands, I'm sure they'll be willing to direct you to an alternate route once you exchange something of value with them… or if you beat them up hard enough."

Uthar winked slyly. Ean winced. Then again, those who communicated with violence supposedly accepted some form of violence as well.

"Excuse me, Your Highness…es," said Rye, who raised a hand, "But why would you have us do it, instead of your own men?"

"Oh, peasant, you know nothing of how we royalty work," Nicolas answered - an answer Rye frowned at.

"Nicolas." Uthar glared at the younger prince, though Nicolas only slowly averted his gaze and kept smirking. The older prince then clarified, "What he means is that, you can consider it a little test. You did come from the Snow Queen's palace, and while you did meet with that one certain crazy old woman, we have enough reason to be suspicious of you."

Ean was unsure if he agreed, but Iya had different thoughts. "I'm sorry we can't present concrete proof of our story. Ah! Maybe there is one, Uthar. I received a song sphere from the old woman. Would you like to examine it?"

"I don't know if we could count that as proof, but I would never turn down a chance to examine a mage's weapon."

Uthar's brother agreed.

Ean turned to Rye, who slumped against the table, grumbling, "I will never understand why my sisters ever dreamed of getting married to princes."

The elf shook his head.

"Well?"

Ean turned again to Uthar.

"What do you say? Will you run this little errand for us?"

It's just a letter. It's nothing big. They might probably find what they're looking for on the way there.

"…sure. We could do that."

[covenscribe]

thoughts on the Larian IGN interview posted today (Dec.15.2023)

Interview is here

my thoughts under read more cut

-Personally think they shouldn't have added Karlach before they figured out her main story, hearing that there was never 'more' planned sucks because shes a great character and really should have been given more in game time to flourish

-Lae'zel is literally a child soldier I don't see toning her down in any sense as good

-I agree that Astarion's main motivating factor is fear I don't know why people are upset about this assessment tbh

-Okay the big issue is that the Evil Playthrough's lack of content is 'A consequence of your actions' . It is a video game, if you let people make a choice that you feel you need to punish them for then thats not fun. That's bad dming in dnd. I feel like Im being lectured for reading horror novels, some times I want evil storylines.

Instead of leaving it empty it should have been that more evil things fill in the void left by good being killed. Such as filling the city with more cultists, more missions seeing how the world is negatively affected by your choices other than just emptiness. Don't stop at having to kill kids at the grove for the evil run, keep the horror of evil snowballing until the world is burning.

If you're going to have an evil option go all out with the same effort you give the good options or it feels like half a game.

-I'm annoyed they didn't plan more for Halsin in act 3 other than to be there to be kidnapped and annoyed with the city. You have a whole character full of potential! And being the sole third option for poly romance being treated as a tacked on after thought feels bad.

-Shadowheart's original character pitch being a sharran jason bourne was a choice lol. I like how she is in game.

-I think its interesting that they noticed how it was unfair that some characters weren't getting as much love because of where they were placed on the map for recruitment. Like, y'all built that map...

I think it would have been better if the nautiloid section was a lot bigger and you end up recruiting all main companions on the ship, you can still have rescuing gale from a portal, astarion threatening you, wyll and karlach being about to fight when you have to get to the helm.

saying the potential to miss karlach added replay value i disagree with as it just adds frustration imo

-"Wyll: 'We Lost a Little Bit of Narrative Room"

You Sure Did, I love Wyll's story line but he gets so little screen time compared to other characters that it drives me up the wall. Also seeing how we went from the one black companion potentially being replaced by a white woman ( mizora ) in his original story line to being the only companion that can kill another companion doesn't feel good imo.

Tying character story lines together to make the world feel more connected is good but that was a miss

-The Emperor, like Astarion, being motivated by fear makes sense, but the emperor is more of a level headed manipulator and that's why he had a full underground empire of business deals.

-I love the irony that he devil is one who tells you the honest truth about the emperor.

-Saying "One of the basic questions of the game was whether you would become a monster if it would save the world." is interesting because with the companions it often feels like 'would you make yourself a monster to protect yourself' instead.

The ending is full of self sacrifice for multiple characters so I don't think its about becoming a monster, I think it's more about how people who are forced into awful situations will always come out changed.

-Raphael absolutely is a theater kid with too much power lol

-i disagree with the interviewer saying there was no real reward for not taking in more tadpoles the reward is less worms in your brain matter lmao

-imo they wouldnt have had to make minthara recruitable in a good playthrough for people to experience her storyline if they just put content in for the evil playthroughs so its just as fun and people will play it

I think that given unlimited time and resources, I'd want to make a new game at this point. I'm happy with Baldur's Gate 3.

"Baldur's Gate 4 confirmed. SV: What did I miss? AS: Apparently I just confirmed... No, I didn't."

dont tease me lol

-jaheria romance was planned and im sad we didnt get the gilf romance now

-apparently there is or was a special event that happens if you have stolen from a ton of people

Okay that was the full interview my main thought is

Stop pulling a bioware where you re-write a bunch of stuff that has already been worked on and you will have time for more of what you had planned and with less crunch.

That said I also know I'm an outsider and can't know everything they struggled with to make this game happen and genuinely wish them the best. I wouldn't bother critiquing the game if I didn't love it.

[gayferrari]

I feel like some chirlies on twitter gives a bad reputation for the rest of us, because they have a certain amount of followers and they're picking up fights and being annoying so their posts usually gets a lot of interactions. Like today I saw one of them proud that carlos blocked them. Let me tell you, I dislike carlos a lot but that made me feel so embarassed of chirlies, like its one thing to be a hater here on tumblr or even on twitter if you're a nobody, but going out of your way to get blocked by a driver its so stupid.

And charles end up getting a lot of hate because of fans like this

Idk what prompted this ask but I believe you that #notallchirlies! in my personal, very short-lived experience on f1twt, though, it's not about fans of a specific driver. It's the whole vibe on f1twt where 1) snarking gets you clout so you're kind of rewarded for being a cunt on main and qrt'ing takes you disagree with to dunk on them and 2) the enshittification of twitter as a platform that means misinformation is rampant and randos can monetize their content. the intersection between fandom-brained "stan" behaviour and being in a space where real people live — where people put their faces on! talk about their job! can interact with actual journalists and semi-famous figures! — is just too much for me to handle.

anyway. yeah Charles has a lot of parasocial fans but so do other drivers on f1 twt. I think everyone is within their right to feel that the fans put you off liking someone (god knows it's happened to me) but also it's not ON the famous figure to be held accountable for how people on the internet spend their time

[nefertittythegreat]

My thoughts didn't fit in a reply but here's my rebuttal:

Ooo some really good stuff here! Really got my brain juices flowing. Ok, here's what I disagree on. I don't believe that narrative wants us readers to believe he's perfect. In fact, it's pointed out many times that he's not. it's Myne who believes he's perfect. Kazuki is actually really good at making us believe whatever Myne believes. In context to Yogurtland, she's often wrong, and she's not a very reliable narrator. Myne has a tendency to put the people she considers family on a pedestal(look at how she regards Tuuli) and this especially true for Ferdinand. And between her and Ferdinand's accolades in the academy, the younger generation has no choice but to believe he is the unattainable perfection they should strive towards but I believe most of Ferdinand's peers and the older nobles know better.

You spent a good portion of the post comparing Ferdinand to various characters, specifically villians. I believe, in this case, the comparison to be a false equivalent because Ferdinand is not a villain. He does not hold the same place in the narrative as the characters you mentioned and therefore they can not be compared. Other characters like Lelouch(Code Geass), Sasuke Uchiha(Naruto), Revy(Black Lagoon) and Hiei(YuYu Hakusho) are more similar to Ferdinand and the place he holds in the narrative and more comparable. But I understood your point with your comparisons, these villains have done unspeakable things and you still like them better than Ferdinand. But why do you like these villains? Why do you find them interesting? I can tell you personally from the ones I know about(Danzo, Orochimaru, and Akito) I don't find them interesting at all. Hurt people hurting doesn't interest me at all, and I could care less about your sad poor little meow meow backstory if you're not an interesting character to me.

These characters have done something in story that caught your eye and Ferdinand didn't. Or the fandom’s woobiefication of him has caused you to go from neutral to dislike. I won't speculate, its up to each person to inner reflect on their thoughts. So are we supposed to like Ferdinand? Yes and no. We are supposed to love him because Myne loves him(here comes Kazuki again with the POV hypnosis)He quickly jumps up to family with Myne through their interactions and as she has to navigate the world of nobility he becomes her only confidant. And this is all before we get his Backstory or well the worse parts of it. We are already supposed to love him. His backstory isn't supposed to endear him to us anymore because like Myne we have long since loved this Strange little man. That despite his flaws, His rudeness, his cold demeanor, his harsh words, we love him anyway. His Backstory only puts into context some of his more odd behaviors. And make the sting of of his leaving Ehrenfest even more painful.

Ferdinand's main sin is really just being an asshole. Personally, I still believe he'd be an asshole if he had a well-adjusted childhood, but that's just me. I love Asshole characters, characters who are just mean for the sake of being mean(I mean I've been in love with Sasuke Uchiha for 15 years if that puts into perspective) and his unlikeableness just makes him all the more appealing to me. I wouldn't call his behavior abusive but I would call him hard-headed and short-sighted.He doesn't listen. He's incapable of listening to anyone whose name isn't Rozemyne(and just barely so)because he thinks he's always right, and too be fair he usually is. In this post you hint that he hurts because he has been hurt, but I don't believe that to be true. Its far too sentimental for Ferdinand. He accepts his past as fact. And while it explains some of his behaviors he doesn't really dwell on it like Akito does her Mothers's abuse and Shigure’s “betrayal”. She hurts because its all she knows. She wants to feel powerful so she makes those around her feel powerless. Ferdinand doesn't need to feel powerful, he doesn't belittle to make himself bigger. He is already powerful and he knows that. The reason he so often punches down is because you do not meet his standards, he does not care where your from or why you don't meet them but if you don't he will let you know. He's that asshole professor from uni that you could never hope to impress. You could write an award-winning article, praised by all and the dick would still only give you a C+. He’ll never change too, and just your luck he’s tenured and you have to take 3 of his classes. I'm not saying these are good things, but I am saying this is 100% purposeful. These flaws are permanent because that's not what he learns during the course of the series. What he learns is to let himself live. Ferdinand has lived his whole life for someone else. This also explains his passivity. I've written before that Ferdinand lacks ambition and for a character so talented and capable and hyper-competent its rare to see, especially when it's not the main character. This is what makes him interesting to me.

I hope you understand why me and maybe some other people like Ferdinand. I mean I'm just a masochistic freak who likes men who will be mean to her but he has other good qualities too. He's not perfect or nice but he's Ferdinand and that's what I like about him 🥰

Thoughts on ferdinand?

Short answer: Don't like that guy.

Beyond this point is the body of the post where I may rail on your favorite character. This post is clearly-labeled and easy to avoid. If you choose to read on despite me making it clear what my opinion is, you do not have to right to vague me in a condescending manner as you may or may not have done with another post of a similar kind. Just avoid this. It's not that hard. I'm making the fandom ecosystem a little more varied, is all. Us Detlinde fans, Sylvester lovers, and Raublut sympathizers have had to sit and bear with it as the fandom paraded our faves and hurled shit at them. If we have had to endure that, surely you can endure One (1) post that criticizes your fave who is widely loved by everyone else and is also put under a cut. Don't start insulting me for criticizing a character when you've gotten mad at me for responding to insults with anger.

Surely a fandom that condescended to us for reading something we disagree with will understand the point I am making here :)

Aight now that that's out of the way, I can finally get to the meat of the post for all the big-brained people who chose to continue.

Reasons why I think Ferdinand sucks have been touched on in these posts (A B) so I don't really have all that much to say about that outside of reiterating what those posts said.

I tried, y'all. I tried so hard to like him. Everyone else loved him and I wanted to see what they were seeing.

But I couldn't.

He's an abusive jackass who doesn't see that the people around him do love him, can't be allowed near children, doesn't bother lifting other people up he just expects them to be already good. His memory trip with Myne changed nothing about how he saw her or other kids “her age”. He doesn't even seem to like most parts of her, he just seems to like that she's on his level and that she'd protect him.

And the problem is that. I wouldn't hate him nearly as much if only the story or the fandom acknowledged his dickishness. It's not that I'm unfamiliar or can't handle heavy topics, either— I am a victim of lifelong abuse in a country that's been on fire for as long as it's existed. I Been Knew, buddy.

Vincent Nightray from Pandora Hearts is a misogynistic little prick who lies and tricks and betrays people to get to his goal. He may or may not also be a transphobic allegory. But I love him! He's one of my favorite characters from the manga! How could this be? Because his flaws matter. Because both the story and the audience understand that he's not just the poorest little man. He kinda is, but I love him because he's a messy character full of flaws. It makes him interesting. Also because his struggles and storyline involving guilt and suicidal ideation resonated deeply with me.

I absolutely fucking adore Sohma Akito from Fruits Basket. She is so fucking abusive to so many characters and… the story knows that! It acknowledges that! She's, like Vincent, a fucking mess! But the way her backstory explains her entire thing but doesn't excuse it, the way she's such a realistic exploration of abuse both as perpetrator and victim, is so interesting! She's so interesting! Fruits Basket as a whole is just. It's good. It's excellent. It even has a counselor and an artist analyzing the symbolism, art direction, and psychology of the characters on YouTube. You should give that podcast a listen. It's by the channel ThoughtBubble. (Ferdinand's “trauma” could become a realistic exploration of the consequences of such a fucked up life, how he passes on the hurt to the younger generation, if only the story let it but… everyone just uses that trauma card to woobify him and excuse him and go “oh poor Ferdinand” on him like a pity party, which I don't like. Again, the potential is there and I could like it, but the way the fandom treated his trauma is so viscerally off-putting to me that my faith in his potential plummeted and I “hate” him by their definition instead)

How about Orochimaru? Irredeemable terrifying bastard villain WHO TRAFFICKS AND EXPERIMENTS ON CHILDREN. There's discussion of how the military state exploited him and he went off the deep end and it was excused when it still benefited the state but became a crime as soon as it became for himself, but largely people agree that he cannot be excused. And he's one of my favorite fucking characters.

Shimura Danzo? Y'all don't need a primer on that fucker everyone hates him he's terrible he's problematic and I love him. One of the characters of all time.

How about Senju Butsuma? Specifically, the rendition of Senju Butsuma in a fic written by my friend. He's still abusive, he literally has a scene of beating the crap out of his sons on-screen in the fic— that scene triggered me by the way but it just goes to show how well-written it is, my friend the author specifically mentioned that he didn't want to trivialize abuse but also didn't want to turn it into a sympathy-bait pity party for the Senju brothers— and? He's my babygirl. He's everything.

Prospera Mercury? Fucking war criminal milf with Issues? She uses both her children as weapons even as she claims she's doing it all for one of them? Massacres people? And? I love her????? She's so messy she's got Problems she's not good for her daughters. And that makes her infinitely delicious. Easily one of my favorites of all time.

So it's not that I hate characters who are jackasses. It's not that I hate flawed, messy characters. I love them! I love them even when canon doesn't. I love them even when the fandom doesn't. I would never try to excuse or absolve them (I mean, I'd like to see any of you try to excuse Danzo??) I try to give these characters the justice they deserve when I'm discussing them with people. But I… can't do that with Ferdinand. Any discussion of his character in a way that doesn't fit their very narrow view of “the biggest victim in the world who is also the strongest most badass man ever” immediately gets clotheslined into “hate”. Even the mildest of criticisms, even the most politely-worded posts get misinterpreted, misconstrued, and ultimately declared as senseless petty hate. Heck, even people who like him a lot get shunned and ostracized from the fandom if their interpretation is too different from the Fandom Majority's! So yes! By the fandom's very definition, I hate him! I hate him most immensely! I hate the parts of him that the narrative and the fandom choose to highlight as opposed to the more interesting bits! I hate that he takes up all the oxygen in the room whenever anyone discusses Veronica's abuse and her victims! He's not the only victim, but everyone acts as though he is!

So yes, tldr: I hate him. If only he could've been written by a better author like Mochizuki Jun or Takaya Natsuki. Fuck, even as much as I gripe about Arakawa Hiromu, even she could've handled him better.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Miss American Pie

Chapter Two: The Perfect Partner Project

Warning!: This series features a romantic Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader pairing. Please keep scrolling if that’s not for you. 💜

Summary: After you’re freed from Dreykov’s control you team up with Yelena and Natasha to take down the red room.

Chapter One : Chemical Subjugation

“I thought you had a jet?” Yelena cocks her head to the side, as you approach the decrepit helicopter.

“I asked for one.” Natasha mutters, under her breath.

“This isn’t a jet.” You add, the closer you get, the worse it becomes.

“I realize that!” The man who’d been standing with his back to you whips around to defend himself. This must be Natasha’s friend. “But you know what you didn’t give me? Time. Or money. I’m not made of jets.”

“Aww, he’s sensitive.” Yelena coos, “I see why you keep him around.”

“I’m not sensitive.” He protests.

“Of course not,” you smirk.

“Listen you-“ he breaks off. “Who are you again?”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” Yelena introduces you, climbing aboard. “She’s my partner….” She shrugs, “you name it really.”

“Partner works.” You chuckle, joining her in the cockpit.

“If you say so,” Yelena waves a dismissive hand. Getting a feel for the controls.

“Wonderful,” the man acknowledges your title.

“Thanks for the ride, Dick.” You salute him through the front window.

“It’s Rick,” he calls back.

“I know.” You give him a thumbs up. Waiting until he turns back to his conversation with Natasha. Taking the opportunity to lean down, kissing the top of Yelena’s head.

She cranes her head back to see you.

You nuzzle your nose against hers, until an exaggeration throat clearing tears you apart.

“We don’t have time for this.” Natasha, of course.

Yelena scowls at her, “yeah, yeah.”

Breaking Alexei out of a maximum security prison using only an earpiece, stowed inside of an action figure is a terrible plan. Nearly as bad as using him for information on how to locate a facility that’s impossible to find, run by a man who’s too slippery to kill.

That doesn’t stop you though. Generally speaking it’s going well. Until one of Yelena’s shots triggers an avalanche.

“Woah.” She marvels at the scene before you, her masterpiece. “Now this would be a cool way to die.”

“Yeah,” you holler back, sarcastically, over the chaos.

“You were getting no where with your tiny guns.” Yelena points out.

“Slow and steady wins the race,” you remind her.

“Fast is better. Solves problems.”

“And clearly creates new ones.” You jerk your chin toward the mountain.

“Get us out of here!” Natasha’s voice blares through the headset.

“I’m on it.” Yelena assures her. Moving into a better position for extraction. “Watch the side window.”

At her request you shuffle to the main ship. The prison guards are still putting up a fight. Inmates running in every direction.

“Alright, Natasha’s with us.” You confirm, once she’s secured her place on the black hanging rope. “Circle between the walls on your left to grab Alexei.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Yelena snarks, steering the plane away from another explosion.

“You’re doing a great job.”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“Fine,” you huff. “The spot is tight and the angle is bad. I don’t know how you’re gonna pull this off.”

Yelena is silent, processing the information. “Lie to me a little.” She amends.

“You got this.” The blinding wall of white threatens to swallow Alexei whole. You’re holding your breath too as the rope moves past the metal bridge he’s standing on.

“Well?” She yelps, impatiently.

“I don’t know. I can’t see.” Once the snow and ice clears, you spot two figures carefully scaling the rope. “Yelena?”

“Hmm.” She hums, expecting the worst.

“I knew you had it.”

“Yes,” Yelena sighs, before falling into easy laughter. More invested in this than she will ever admit.

————————————————————-

Unfortunately, entertaining as Alexei may be, he has next to no information about Dreykov.

Instead he drawls on and on about how the man wronged him. Stuck him on that “boring mission” in Ohio. Then tossed him in jail and threw away the key because of…hair? A party?

You weren’t entirely sure. You excuse yourself to the vacant seat beside Yelena. Giving her thigh a reassuring squeeze.

Full lips twitch up into a grin.

“Tell us where the red room is.” Natasha grumbles.

“I have no idea!” He shouts, and then in Russian. “Why don’t you ask Melina?”

“Mom Melina?” Yelena whips her head around.

“We thought she was dead.”

“You cannot kill a fox that swift,” Alexei sucks in a breath.

You choke on your own saliva.

“Ew.” Natasha winces.

“What?” The man shrugs. “She was the master mind. His architect.”

“Are you telling me that Melina works for the red room present day?” Natasha leans closer.

“Yes,” he nods. “Remotely, outside Saint Petersburg.”

“I don’t think we have enough fuel for Saint Petersburg.” Yelena decides, after checking the needle on the gauge.

“We’ll make it.” Alexei waves away her concern.

“Ok,” Yelena mutters.

You look over at her.

“We’re not going to make it.” She mouths, with a shake of her head.

You smirk, closing your eyes and relaxing into the seat. It’ll be nice while it lasts.

Before long you’re falling into a controlled crash, at the Saint Petersburg city limit.

“So,” Yelena jumps out onto the dirt. “Are we there yet?”

“No, you will know when we are there.” Alexei begins snorting like a pig.

——————————————————————-

You take a seat in the chair opposite Yelena inside Melina’s humble abode. Her pigs can be heard carrying on out in the yard and Alexei’s early snorting makes perfect sense now.

Your eyes dart around the three women at the table uncomfortably as noises continue erupting from the bathroom. “Everything alright in there?” You bellow, loud enough for your voice to carry down the hallway.

Another groan is the only response.

“Let’s drink,” Melina’s voice breaks the tension. She fills each of your shot glasses in turn.

“Thanks,” you raise the clear liquid and toss it back. Feeling it burn it’s way down your throat before going back for another.

After a moment a clunking from the doorway calls your attention.

“It still fits.” Alexei announces, having stuffed himself into his old costume.

Melina whistles, with a slow clasp as he approaches the seat at the head of the table. “I never washed it once. Come eat.”

He hums a tune under his breath, reliving days gone by. “Look at us, family back together again.” If you didn’t know better you’d think it was sweet, he seems…happy.

“Well,” Melina swallows, dishing mashed potatoes onto his plate. “Seeing as our family construct was just a calculated ruse that only lasted three years, I’m not sure we can use this term anymore.”

“Agreed,” Natasha perks up. “So here’s what’s going to happen-“

“Reunion then.” Alexei offers instead. “I want to say something right off the bat.” He says to the woman who’d once been his wife. “You haven’t aged a day. Just as beautiful and supple as the day they staged our marriage.”

Melina moves closer, “you got fat, but still good.”

“I just got out of prison,” he confesses, “I have a lot of energy.”

“Ooohooo.” The older woman exhales.

You can’t help the bubble of laughter that forces its way from your chest. Covering your mouth with your hand as Yelena takes another shot.

“Please don’t do that.” Beside you Natasha looks physically ill as she protests. Swallowing down her disgust she begins again. “So listen. Here’s what’s going to happen.”

“Natasha don’t slouch. You’re going to get a back hunch.” Melina flicks her fork in Natasha’s direction.

“What? I’m not slouching? I don’t slouch.”

“Eh, listen to your mother. Up! Up!” Alexei joins in.

“I told you, I don’t want any food.” Yelena pushes her plate away.

“Eat a little something Yelena, for God’s sake.” Melina says, piling food onto her plate.

Yelena groans.

“Are you kidding me? Stop it all of you. This is ridiculous.” Natasha bites out.

“Me? I didn’t do anything. That’s not fair!” Yelena argues.

“It’s true, she’s just sitting there.” You shrug.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Natasha roars, effectively silencing the room. “You’re going to give us the location of the red room.”

Melina purses her lips, avoiding the topic. “It’s like when you told them they could stay up to catch Santa Claus.”

“That was fun!” Alexei recalls. “Look out girls, he comes down the chimney. And when the cookies are gone you know he is there.”

Melina clicks her tongue.

“What? I want them to follow their dreams, shoot for the stars girls.”

“No good.” Melina disagreed.

“Killing Dreykov isn’t a fantasy. It’s unfinished business.” Natasha looks between the two of them.

“You cannot defeat someone who commands the very will of others.” Melina says, softly. “You never got to see the culmination of what we started in America. After the perfect partner project was rejected, we took a different route.”

“The perfect partner project?” You repeat, racking your brain. You’ve heard that somewhere before.

“Why’d Dreykov scrap the project?” Natasha’s voice cracks like a whip.

“I don’t know.” Melina’s eyes dart down to her plate.

You can see that she’s lying.

“That’s when we turned our focus to chemical subjugation.” Melina continues, “the control is so profound that when the subject is instructed to stop breathing. They have no choice but to obey.”

Yelena shakes her head. Perfect lips turned into a frown. Hazel eyes glistening with tears as they meet your own.

“That’s enough.” You warn the older woman, seeing the expression. The last thing you want to do is cause her anymore pain.

“No.” The blonde insists. “Tell me more about the partner project.”

“Yelena, we don’t have to do this.” You shake your head.

“Yes, we do.” Yelena slams her fist against the table in frustration.

“The extraction was messy to start. A high profile missing children’s case in North America. But the bond was very strong. Enhanced through targeted conditioning and subliminal messages. Until something happened that Dreykov did not anticipate.”

“What happened?” Natasha wonders.

“The girls became…attached.” Melina’s mouth twitches, “so they were separated.”

“Do you know who they tested on?”

Melina’s guilty eyes land on you. “I am sorry.”

“No,” you suspected, maybe. Somewhere in the back of your mind. You spent the first six months in the red room under solitary confinement. Rapidly and rigorously conditioned in a matter of weeks instead of years. Preparing you…for her. The teenager girl you couldn’t stand, the woman you eventually came to love.

“You,” Yelena laughs, although it’s not particularly funny. “Us.”

“Yelena-“ you reach for her hand across the table.

“Don’t,” she snaps. “Don’t tell me that it will be ok. They stole your life because of me. I never asked them to do that. I never asked for you!”

“I know.” You assure her. None of this was ever her fault.

“That’s right, because you know everything. Don’t you, Y/N?” Yelena scoffs, her hands balling into fists on either side of her dinner plate. “You know what I think. You know what I feel. Look at you. Ready to come out of your own skin because I am unhappy. Prepared to move mountains, prepared to start wars.”

“Like you’re any better.” You challenge, she knows you like the back of her hand.

“That is my point!”

“I’m sorry that this happened.” Alexei interrupts. Surely gearing up for a ‘father of the year’ speech. “But we are here now. All together! Wasn’t that worth a few years of-“

“Shut up!” Natasha growls at him. “You are an idiot.”

No response.

She moves her attention to Melina, “and you’re a coward. You’re a coward. And our family was never real. So there’s nothing to hold on to. We’re moving on.”

“Never family, huh?” Alexei throws up his hands. “In my heart I am simple man. For a couple deep undercover Russian agents I think we did pretty great as parents.”

“Yes,” Melina nods her agreement. “We had our orders and we played our roles to perfection.”

“Who cares? That wasn’t real.”

“What?” Yelena’s voice breaks.

“That wasn’t real.” Natasha repeats for emphasis. “Who cares?”

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. It was real. It was real to me. You are my mother!” Yelena all but sobs. “You are my real mother, the closest thing I ever had to one. The best parts of my life were fake.” She pauses, drawing in a steadying breath. “And none of you told me.”

You swipe at the tear that escapes your eye. Traitorously running it’s way down your cheek. It was never fake. Perhaps arranged, but never fake. The way you want to wrap her up in your arms, protect her from her own sadness. The way your heart breaks in time with hers. That is real. It has to be.

She turns back to the woman who she considered a mother. “Those agents that you chemically subjugated around the globe…that was me too.”

Finally she addresses Natasha, “and you. You got out. It is impossible to escape. Are you going to say anything?” A pause. “No.”

She pushes her chair from the table, taking the bottle with her as she stands. Turning her back in the four of you.

“Yelena.” Natasha calls after her. Guilt eating away from the inside out.

“No.” Yelena dismisses her a second time. Moving into the next room and closing the glass doors behind her.

You look down at the plate of food in front of you, now lacking any appeal.

“I had no idea.” Melina whispers, wringing her hands.

“I’ll go to talk to her.” Alexei offers, rising to his feet.

“About what?” You hum, “how you handed her over to a life of pain and suffering at the age of six? How you experimented on her? How you didn’t come back for her? Yeah. I’m sure that’s just what she needs right now.”

With that you excuse yourself, back out to the front yard. Slowly circling the perimeter of Melina’s cottage. Not looking for anything in particular. Just killing time until someone produces information about how to get to Dreykov.

The blinding light that appears moments later catches you off guard. A team of men exit one of the three circling planes. Since you couldn’t find the red room, this is the next best thing.

—————————————————————

Waking up is disorienting, coming to from a tranquilizer always is. It’s bright, almost blindingly so. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. You attempt to use your hands to cover them, only you can’t move your hands.

Leaning up as much as your restraints will allow you discover that you’re strapped to an operating table. And you’re not alone.

“Yelena?”

“Miss American Pie,” she drawls from a similar position. Neither of which gives you much chance to escape whatever fate awaits.

“You’re not allowed to die mad at me,” you grumble.

“I’m not mad at you.” She blinks slowly, as the surgeon marks a clean line at the perimeter of her hairline. “I’m just mad.”

“Yeah,” you let out a laugh, turning back to the light above the gurney. “Me too.”

“You are my perfect partner.” She murmurs, while gloved hands busy themselves with preparations. “I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.”

There’s a beat of silence between you. Acceptance…peace. “I love you, you know.”

At this Yelena smiles. A genuine, happy, smile. “I know.”

Something to remember her by.

The syringe at your neck releases a sedative into your blood and you fall asleep. One last time.

—————————————————————

Dying is peaceful, gently rocking in the ocean. Then swaying more violently, giving you the urge to be seasick. Your body should move with the force of it. But something holds you steady, something warm.

“Yelena?” You croak.

“Not quite, but there is resemblance, huh?” A different voice greets you.

“Alexei?” You realize, pushing yourself into a sitting position.

“That’s a girl, up you go.” He says, clapping a hand against your back.

“What happened?” You ask, “where’s Yelena?”

“Still inside,” Melina confirms. “Brought you here so you’d be safe.”

“Natasha?”

“They’re coming.”

You sigh, ready to jump out the open door of the hovering chopper.

“What are you doing?” Alexei demands.

“Going to find them.”

“Wait! Y/N, wait.” He pleads. “There’s something I must tell you. I tried to tell Yelena but I don’t have earpiece.”

“What?” Your brows furrow.

“Never mind that.” He shakes his head. “The point, is you were right. What you said about Yelena. We complete our mission, we move on. But losing her, losing my girls is my biggest regret.”

“I’ll tell her, don’t worry.” You give his shoulder a squeeze.

“Please let me finish.” He stops you again. “She carried your unconscious body through burning building, through explosions. This is not easy, you are very heavy.”

“Oh, Alexei!” Melina scolds him.

“Not that.” He amends, “you know what I mean. It is dead weight.”

You nod, “sure.”

“I look at you together and I see true love and I am happy. You are family now, and this time…we are going to stay together. We’re not leaving without you.” The older man says, helping you onto the metal grate of the falling red room.

Not a second later an explosion rings through your ears, sending Melina, Alexei and your get away vehicle spiraling to the ground.

“It’s the thought that counts,” you’ll make a new plan.

You run toward the flames and gunfire. “Yelena!” You call out, searching the surrounding area.

“Y/N,” Natasha finds you. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t find Yelena.”

“I thought she was with you.” The woman frowns.

“Well she wasn’t!” You bite out, fear and frustration getting the best of you.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her. You go-“ the red head pauses. Her eyes focused on something behind your head.

You turn to follow Natasha’s gaze. Finding her. Yelena. The wild, unpredictable, firecracker of a woman. On the wing of the jet with Dreykov inside.

“Yelena! Stop!” You rush over, realizing what she’s about to do. Her staff poised at the propeller.

She pauses at the sound of your voice.

“He’s not worth it.” No one is worth it. Not when she is the cost.

Yelena smiles, eyes alight with mischief, “I love you, you know.”

“I know.”

Natasha tries to reason with her. “Don’t do it!”

“This was fun.” Yelena tells her sister, jamming the propeller and effectively destroying Dreykov’s jet. The force of the explosions sends her backwards, hurtling towards the ground with the remaining pieces of the red room.

“Put your pack on and jump.” Natasha tells you. Rushing for the nearest parachute. “I’m going to save my sister.” She dives head first over the edge, without putting on her harness.

“Not if I get there first,” you challenge. This would be a cool way to die.

Chapter Three: Bye Bye

[cyanide-latte]

Interest has been shown and the thought won't leave my brain so I'm putting this on the table for discussion.

First let me be transparent: if allowed I will talk for ages about how people aren't taught critical thinking and media analysis and if they are that they aren't applying those tools where it counts. It's something I see so frequently and I'll get so driven up the wall about and I'll lament for ages the way that educational systems have failed to teach these tools or how little push there actually is on a widespread scale to learn and implement them.

But over the last 24 hours with instances on several fronts and in several fandoms, an additional thought has repeatedly been popping up that I think needs to coexist with this discussion.

And that is that there is a human being behind every take you disagree with.

It's easy to focus on the frustration and the issue and wanting to push for ways to improve the situation to the point I think sometimes it's easy to forget the individual people.

While I don't intend to point fingers to any one example (because again, I've been seeing this sort of issue in multiple fandom spaces on multiple platforms over the past day,) I feel like it's still something to bring up. Just hear me out on this. Fandom isn't necessarily a space where the intent is to always analyze and think critically about what we consume, but utilizing those tools can provide a more enriching experience with the source material, open up new discussions with other fans, and allow for a greater understanding of the source material and its creators and its impact(s).

But just as much as that, fandom isn't necessarily intended for that level of engagement, at least not as a mandatory requirement. Many fans don't consume a thing they enjoy for the sake of deeper thought and analysis, and this means that many times their opinions, headcanons, elements they enjoy, and understanding of the source material is going to differ drastically from that of a person who does those deeper dives.

And that's fine.*

There is a caveat there and I'll get to it, but I really would like to see this point as the main one for consideration in this discussion. Not everyone consumes movies, shows, books, podcasts, games, etc. with an automatic need or desire to analyze the media on a deeper level. Heck, even people who DO have that tendency are going to encounter things that they just engage with on a level of trying to simply enjoy it.

And that's okay. Not everyone has had the opportunity to learn those things. Not everyone wants to always dissect everything they engage with, and trying to do that anyway is exhausting. (And if you're trying to do that with the intent of seeking media purity, it's doubly exhausting because you're chasing something that cannot exist, and I would like to suggest that you reevaluate this because it WILL rob you of your ability to enjoy ANYTHING.)

And I think it's important to remember that when we hit that point. That there's another person. That no matter how much it may cause us frustration when we encounter people who show signs of not knowing or understanding the same things we do about something we've taken the time to really break down and understand, there's still another person and we don't know the circumstances behind why their experience is different nor are we entitled to know. I mean, YEAH, it's frustrating when prevailing ideas about the source material within a fandom become commonplace and are either blatantly wrong/ignorant or don't show enough analysis. But I feel like we also need to remember to be mindful of individual people even when expressing our frustrations and dislikes of ideas or attitudes that lack understanding.

Now. Here's that *caveat.

When someone's lack of understanding, lack of thinking, lack of being willing to go beyond the surface and understand the impacts of themes and ideas in media, lead to that someone causing harm to themselves and others, then there is a greater issue that I think should be addressed.

I'm not talking about "this person has a headcanon about this character that is ignorant of character history and I don't like it so I'm going to get on their case about it". I'm talking about, someone isn't taking the time to listen and think about and do some sleuthing on any media that they're engaging with that has real life negative consequences and impacts on other people, and they're unlikely to stop and reevaluate their engagement and behavior unless someone who does have a better understanding of those issues says something. Additionally, do they have individual opinions of their own in their lack of understanding that they're causing harm with, whether intentionally or unintentionally? Because I see that happen too, where something gets misconstrued or misunderstood in a harmful way and the person with that misunderstanding can go on to harm others with it.

For many, a positive change can be made by asking the question(s) "are you aware that this thing contains harmful ideas that have real-world impacts?" "Are you aware that your engagement with this material supports a creator(s) who is weaponizing their platform?" "These harmful opinions and thought processes are baked into the source of the media you're consuming and they have real life impacts; have you been taking the time to see if it is also working its way into your opinions and treatment of others?"

When those questions get asked, it can lead to changes that are positive or it can lead to an understanding that that individual may willfully choose not to reevaluate how they may be causing harm because they won't let go of whatever caused those harmful ideas to take root in them. And that is a different discussion entirely, but it's important to remember that this is a caveat to consider.

But ultimately, TL;DR— I think the complaint of "none of these people are using critical thinking or analyzing media is frustrating and it needs to change" can and does need to begin coexisting with the idea "an individual person may not know how or choose to engage critically with the media they consume some or all of the time and that's okay and I can respect and consider them even if I disagree with their takes on it."

[ghostedgrim]

With the new trailer, and images for Way of the Water, we've been left with many theories and questions. One of the main ones being, "has Quaritch actually returned,". From what I've observed, one of the avitars have the same tat, and looks as Quaritch, right when the name was announced google was saying Quaritch would return, and that the actor has supposedly claimed that Quaritch will be in the next 4 movies, getting some big character arc.

Link to source:

Quotes from this source that I'll use:

"While unconfirmed, the military-style haircut and tattoo on his upper arm are a dead giveaway — which likely means that yes, Colonel Miles Quaritch will be an Avatar in Avatar: The Way of Water. This opens the sequel up to all manner of possibilities as the villain is brought back to life, this time with the same advantages as our hero Jake Sully and the native Na’vi."

"While we did not know the details of his return, we have known for some time that Colonel Miles Quaritch will make a comeback. According to Stephen Lang, the character could, in fact, feature in all four of the upcoming Avatar sequels."

“And so, I think you can absolutely look for some areas of extreme growth in the character; and then probably areas of regression in the character as well, hopefully, over a period of four more films,” the actor said last year. “Of course, we need him to be very, very interesting, where, by the end you've taken a journey, or you've witnessed a character go on a life journey that was pretty interesting. You know, that you were glad that you could observe. So that's what we're trying to do."

Now onto my theories and what-not

The article states the theory the Quaritch's mind was uploaded to and avitar mind before he died, I have to disagree and here's why. Firstly, Quaritch Saud it himself, he thinks the avitar program useless, he wants nothing to do with it. Therfore he doesn't have an avitar. It's also stated that the avitars develope on the journey to Pandora, meaning they take about six years to grow. With this information, I don't believe this even remotely could've happened, not to mention, the avitar needs the same DNA as its driver, otherwise it doesn't work.

Not everything is black and white, like Trudy many people fought against Quaritch, it's not far fetched that some of the avitar divers liked what Quaritch was doing. Which would make sense, because some had to continue the avitar program, otherwise we wouldn't be seeing the avitar Quaritch look-alike.

It's also proven that brain activity takes place, even after a person has died, similar to other animals like snake, hence why you bury the head. We also know from Quaritch's conversations with Jake, and by the creation of the avitars, Earth's mead technology alone is extremely advanced, so cloning is hardly far fetched.

So here's the theories; an avitar driver who liked/agreed with what Quaritch was doing, found him in the forest dead or close to death. Considering how the battle went I don't think anyone would've checked or cared if Quaritch's body just vanished. When found, the driver would then find some way to stop Quaritch's brain from dying, or transfered all information in the brain into a hardrive of sorts. Then said driver could put in a heads up that so-and-so needs a clone, or maybe Quaritch already had a clone, afterwards they'd make the travel back. Considering Jake said the flight felt like waking up after too much tequila, I'd say the brain was preserve perfectly. Afterwards the clone should be developed, they A) upload the information into the clone's brain, or B) organ transplant with Quaritch's brain. Now he's alive, probably pissed, and desperate for revenge. With the help of the traitorous driver's and scientists, they create a new avitar program and find a way back to Pandora, etc.