#put some

[fieriframes]

[SO A LITTLE, UH-- OKAY, SO THIS OUR HOMEMADE RANCH DRESSING, ENGLISH CUCUMBERS. I'M A FAN OF THE ENGLISH CUCUMBER. SARTRE’S OTHER BOOKS HAS EVER SEEMED TO ME SO DELIGHTFUL AND TOO TOUGH A SKIN. YEAH. PUT SOME OF THE TZATZIKI INTO THE CHINESE SOUP SPOON. HERE ARE THE BONBONS FRESH OUT OF THE FRYER. WOW.]

[holographings]

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

[angelhht]

[slyandthefamilybook]

tumblr glitched out somehow but idc because this is way better than the original poll

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[trekkerac]

i'm not like other guys i take an angsty au and make it a comedy

Ford: I've managed to record substantial evidence on tape, such as floating objects, footsteps that are not my own, and radio weirdness; The host or singer will slip in observations of my being that I simply cannot chalk up to coincidence. Whether this being is a ghost, or one of Bills tricks I've yet to discover… There are more dubious encounters such as the whispers, spine shivering chills, and of the brief shadowy figures I see down dark hallways. (Proof of an apparition? or simply a hallucination dreamt up by my sleep deprived mind?) I fear my mind is slipping further and further-

Ford: What is that blasted noise?! Stan: Cartoons got ghosts shockingly realistic! Ford: Reminds me of... being annoyed.

[jacqcrisis]

Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.

[callisteios]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

[asweetprologue]

this is so devastating. laois should have just shot him with a gun

[hinamie]

mentor

[annalyticall]

My new favorite excuse for not jumping on new trends or bandwagons is 'I'm 30.' No more explanation needed because anyone under 30 just thinks I'm old and everyone over 30 understands implicitly