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not-neverland06 · 1 year ago

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One More Spring

One-shot

Tagging: @dumblittlebunbun bc you’d commented on a previous slasher post

Bo Sinclair x fem!reader A/N: This was a strange little Drabble I came up with when I was experimenting with a different writing style. Summary: You only have one wish, to make it to one more spring in Ambrose. You know that the women don’t last long, used and tossed aside, you don’t have big hopes. Just one last prayer.

You could always tell what kind of day it would be by how the door closed. Maybe it was because you’d grown up with strict parents, but you could read a mood based off their footsteps.

For now, you felt comfortable and remained lounged on your crappy lawn chair, trying to get some sun back on your legs after winter. The screen door closed lightly behind Bo as his heavy boots made their way to you.

You didn’t bother lifting your sunglasses as you felt him hovering over you. “What’re you doing?” His voice was gruff and he sounded like he was panting.

“Trying to get some color back.”

You could hear him scoff and glanced to the side to see him stealing a swig from your beer. “Don’t have better things to be doing?”

“Like what?” You snarked, rolling over and huffing when his eyes immediately went to your ass. Probably a good thing you chose a skimpy pair of bottoms, he was always more agreeable when he was horny. “Playing housewife?”

He chuckled under his breath, kneeling down beside you and flicking your sunglasses up. “Yeah, maybe.”

You rolled your eyes and swatted his hands away. You propped your head up on your arms and glared at him. “I’ll put on an apron for you later, for now, buzz off.”

He shook his head and stood up. “Don’t know where all this attitude came from.” You yelped as his hand came down on your ass. He laughed loudly, walking away much too smug for your liking. “Better not be a damn thing under that apron later!” He shouted as he went back into the house.

You looked up to tell him off and finally caught a glimpse of his coveralls. Blood coated the bottom of his pants and you shrank back into your chair. You put your head back down on your arms, closing your eyes and ignoring the way your stomach twinged in anxiety.

As requested, you’d made dinner in an apron and nothing else. Bo had subsequently banished Vincent from the kitchen. You’d felt bad when you’d woken up in the morning, you hadn’t gotten a chance to slip him any food. You’d passed out pretty much the second Bo was done with you.

Your eyes darted to the bloody coveralls on your bathroom floor. You sighed, legs aching as you got off the bed. You collected his dirtied uniform and the laundry basket and made your way downstairs.

You got started on the laundry, kicking the old washing machine a few times to get it going. It had been on its last leg for a decade, it was a matter of months before it finally conked out. You threw the clothes in, fingers snagging on a lacy number at the bottom.

You frowned, tugging it out and holding it up to the light. You’d never seen this before. It certainly hadn’t come from your bag. “You like it?”

You jumped, whirling around with the shirt clutched to your chest. “Jesus, Bo, you scared me.”

He chuckled, face still slightly mussed from sleep. He was only in a white t-shirt and pajama pants, rare to see him in anything other than working clothes. “Snagged that off a tourist yesterday, thought you’d look good in it.”

I thought you would like it.

I know you’ve got a few shirts like that in your closet.

You always look pretty in this color, baby.

You’d heard it all a thousand different ways. The same sentence over and over and over again. You were haunted by the women of Ambrose. The ones who came before you, who’d tried and failed to play house with him. The ones who were yet to come.

And the woman who would inevitably replace you when you messed up for the final time.

Your nails dug into the lace, feeling it give beneath them as you smiled at Bo. “I love it, thank you.”

He hugged you, lips lingering against your forehead before he wandered off to start some coffee. You turned around, eyes going back to the shirt. You’d burn it if you could. Rip it apart and scream, instead you tossed it in the wash with the rest of your clothes. You let the lid slam shut, the noise jarring you out of your stupor.

You forced on a happy face and walked into the kitchen. Vincent was lingering near the entrance and you offered him a gentle smile. “Sorry about dinner,” you whispered as you passed him. He shook his head and took a seat at the table.

You grabbed the ingredients you needed, rustling through Bo’s ancient cookbook for the French toast recipe you’d found the other day. One day, you’d run out, you wouldn’t have any more delicacies to surprise them both with.

Bo would tire of the same repetitive food. The same face every morning. The same sounds and movements in the bedroom. You’d become used up, lose the new shine everyone loved on their toys.

You clenched the spatula in your hand, gritting your teeth as you cooked some eggs for the both of them. You brought it over to the table, scooping it onto their plates, Bo got the bigger serving. Bo always got what he wanted.

Your mind flashed to the garage, the straps there waiting for you. “Hey!”

You jumped, pan nearly dropping out of your hands as you stared at the dropped eggs on his lap. “Sorry, I’m sorry.” You rushed to the counter, grabbing a towel and kneeling down, frantically trying to get them off his pants.

A calloused hand landed on your head, you jumped and looked up at Bo. Your heart raced, expecting malice or a sneer that meant the last nail had fallen and your time was up. Instead he was smiling gently down at you, hand smoothing the hair from your face. “Just a spill, darlin’, get the bacon ‘fore it burns.”

You backed away instantly, taking the egg filled rag with you as you went back to the stove. You flipped the bacon, turning off the burner and risking a glance over your shoulder at Bo.

He was sipping his coffee peacefully, not a worry in the world. But you could see how tightly Vincent had his fork gripped, the way it shook slightly as he placed it back on his plate. Seems you weren’t the only one who’d thought your time was up.

When would it happen?

When spring returned and the birds started chirping their early morning song again?

You wouldn’t mind if that was when it ended. If you got to make it to another birthday, that would be even better. You’d like to experience another holiday, or Halloween. Perhaps that was too much to ask for.

You’d settle for just seeing the buds return to the trees in Ambrose once more. Pink blooming in the absence of death. That would be lovely.

Alright, you’ll take that.

Make it through one more spring and you can happily let go.

You could hear the women screaming as you walked down the stairs of the house. See glimpses of who they used to be. Hair clips you knew weren’t yours, underwear buried in the back of drawers that you’d never touched. Necklaces and jewelry that didn’t match yours.

You could hear their voices, disorienting and panicked as you hung the laundry on the line. Felt like the birds echoed their mourning cries in their melody.

You saw the red lines around your wrist as you pulled off the dry sheets. You tried not to look at them too much. Bo liked to touch them, rub his fingers along your wrist and admire them. He thought it brought you closer, linked you together somehow.

You hated looking at them. Hated the sight of the worn skin. All it reminded you of was the time below. Your pictures that were tacked above the others.

You heard a scream further away from the house, bloodcurdling and echoing through the air of Ambrose. It would never make it out. Never travel past the forest bordering the ghost town. You wondered if it was a product of your own fractured psyche or another masterpiece in the works.

Your question was answered when you sat on your knees in the bathroom that night, trying to scrub the crimson out of Bo’s coveralls.

You liked your time with Vincent. You like the candles he kept scattered around his studio, nails dug into them to help him keep time. He’d sit you down on the couch and would position you like a doll. You’d let him, mind going numb as you lost time for as long as he wanted to draw you.

You knew he liked you the most out of the other girls. You learned sign language for him, communicating with him when Bo got sick of both of you. He enjoyed your face the most. It wasn’t model perfect or the type of beauty people wrote songs about.

He liked the normalcy of it, the slightly blandness. He’d told you once, on a nice night, that it was your eyes that gave you life. Not the color of them, but the light behind them.

You wondered if he would draw you again when Bo snubbed them out.

You folded Bo’s clothes, tucking them neatly into his drawers and tossing the basket back into the hall. You moved towards the bed, straightening the sheets and tucking them in tight. You liked it tight, he hated it.

Your one act of rebellion.

It honestly wasn’t hard to fall into this role with Bo. You’d known if you’d wanted to survive the only chance you had was to make him happy. In a way it was peaceful here. It was quiet and you never had to worry about anything.

You cleaned the house, cooked the food, were the perfect housewife and he’d be content and so would you. He let you have your own time, surprising you with journals to write in. Or he’d dig through tourists bags and bring you back books he’d thought you’d like.

You didn’t get to go into the city with him, doubted you ever would, but you were okay with this.

You picked up his watch, opening up his night table’s drawer to tuck it away. Your eyes landed on a bright splash of red and your fingers froze from where they hovered above the handle. You glanced over your shoulder, heart thrumming.

You turned back towards the drawer and carefully slid the Polaroid out.

A picture, a woman with gorgeous red hair splayed along her pillow. She looked beautiful.

Or she would.

If it wasn’t for the gash across the neck, so deep it showed you the inside of her throat. Crimson dripped from the wound, pooling around her and onto the bed below her.

Your eyes darted to the bed to your left, hands wrinkling the pristinely kept picture. Without thinking your hand dove further into the drawer, probing, digging, searching for something.

You didn’t know what until you hissed, hand jerking back as blood blistered out of the gash on your finger. You placed the picture back, popping your finger into your mouth and licking up the metallic taste of your blood.

You used your other hand to wrap around the handle of the blade, tugging out the large kitchen knife and staring down at it blankly.

One more spring.

You put the knife back, straightening out his drawer and leaving the haunted bedroom to clean your wound.

You woke to the sound of birds chirping. To your left was the window, pink buds blooming across the branch of the tree across from the house. Above you was Bo, straddling your waist, a knife held tightly in his hand.

“Well,” you wrapped a hand around his, calmly pulling the knife down to your throat. You’d thought you’d be more upset. Fight, beg, plead for one last winter, or just another day. One last good day. But you were tired, you’d been slipping since summer. Bits and pieces of yourself floating along the wind, joining the cacophony of lost women. “Aren’t you going to do it?”

Bo stared down at you, his brows furrowed. The whites of his eyes were red and you knew he’s been struggling with this for a while. You weren’t sure how long he’d been sitting above you, but you knew it had been before you’d woken.

You were thankful, at least, that he had let you see the spring morning before he did this.

He yanked his hand out of yours, “Crazy bitch,” he muttered. He scoffed and shook his head, jumping off of you. Your head lolled to the left, you opened up the window, inhaling the fresh smell of new life.

You made it another winter and another spring. Your face was plastered along Vincent’s wall. Statues of you adorned Ambrose but you didn’t occupy a single one of them.

On the outside MISSING flyers with your face faded and fell from lamp posts. Your name was forgotten from the minds of those who’d been alive to mourn you. You became another statistic, another lost soul. An old news story that would be used in classrooms.

What happened to her?

Is she still alive?

Was she the first?

Will we ever know?

No. They wouldn’t. You were the girl on the paper trampled beneath frantic feet as they rushed to work. Tossed aside in the garbage when they were done with the morning paper. To the rest of them, you were forgotten.

To Ambrose, you were their muse. Inspiration behind their every move.

Every morning you’d wake up to a blade pressed against your throat. And every morning Bo would leap away from you and shake his head. He’d never do it, you knew that now, and it provided you with a careless freedom that freed you from the shackles you’d placed upon yourself.

You didn’t spread your legs and let him take what he wanted anymore. You didn’t submit under his temper, you fought back, raised your voice and threw glass bottles right back at him. You didn’t let him bend Vincent under his thumb or scream at him just because he could.

You pushed, every day, that invisible line that separated you from the other ghosts in town. Yet, somehow, you never breached it, only managed to extend it.

“I want to go with you.”

Bo froze, after a moment he fixed his cap and grabbed his keys from the tray. He didn’t look at you as he spoke, “Well, come on then.”

You followed him through the front door, hopping in the truck when he opened it up to you. The engine rumbled, vibrating the seat below you and his hand slid from the keys to your thigh. He squeezed, as if reminding himself you were there, he was really doing this.

You could hardly believe it yourself.

Bo rounded the bend from the gas station and you felt your heart racing. A hummingbird flitting through your chest, frantically trying to break from the cage of your ribs. He pulled through the old campground, the one you’d been on before your car had mysteriously broken down.

You couldn’t remember who it was you were with. What their names were.

You’re halfway certain one of them had been a lover. His name lost to the past.

Bo pulls onto the highway and you brace yourself. You’re not sure for what. Perhaps for him to change his mind, a blade buried in your gut. To start pouring blood down the front of your shirt. Or maybe the car will wreck, divine intervention deciding that neither of you get another day.

Nothing happens. Bo slams his hand against the truck’s stereo and rock crackles through the speakers. His hand returns to your thigh and he hums along to the music. After a moment you relax, rolling the window down and letting the breeze cool you down.

He makes it to the city, smaller than where you used to live, but a mammoth compared to Ambrose. You buy groceries, marveling over products you’d forgotten even existed. You finally manage to buy the tampons you like instead of getting lucky that another woman has them in her bag.

You harass him into letting you go to a secondhand store, buying a shirt for you. Yours and yours alone. It’s simple, long sleeved and white, nothing special, but it means everything to you. When you make it back to Ambrose, the familiar stifling air and aged walls, you bury the shirt in your dresser.

You’ll never wear it and never part with it. This shirt will never be anyone else’s but yours. You’ll never allow another woman to get her hands on it. Even when you’re gone you’ll protect it.

“What do you think?”

Bo shrugged, taking another swig of his beer as his eyes roved over the journal in his hand. You sat on the edge of your seat, eagerly watching him read. Perhaps a bit too eagerly, he sensed it, pouncing on the chance to make you vulnerable.

“You know I don’t read much, baby.”

You rolled your eyes and moved to sit next to him. “I’m aware, it’s real sad, Bo. Now,” you nudged his shoulder with your own. “What do you think?”

He chuckled, marking the page and tossing it on the coffee table. His legs spread and you took the invitation, slotting yourself in his lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He grinned up at you, “It was good. Real fuckin’ good.”

You smiled, cheeks puffing out with the force of it. “Really?”

He nodded his head, “Mhm.” He leaned forward, taking you with him, and placed his beer on the table. You reached behind yourself, blindly readjusting it onto a coaster. He rolled his eyes, but you saw the fondness in them.

His hands moved down your back, squeezing your ass before they landed on your thighs. Rough calluses spread along smooth skin and goosebumps prickled under his touch. You don’t know why you let him read the strange disjointed novel you’d been writing.

Maybe because you knew no one would ever see it. Maybe you wanted some part of yourself permanently embedded into his brain. Either way, you enjoyed the way his face changed as he took it in. The expressions shifting with each new sentence.

“You got a fucked up little mind, you know that?”

You hummed, nodding your head and leaning forward to slot your lips against his own. It was his own fault you were like this. He’d bent you, broke you down, used you until you were a shadow of the woman who used to exist within your body.

Maybe he had won.

There was a part of you, a spirit, floating somewhere beneath his garage, that had once belonged to you.

You ground your hips down against his, biting down on his lip until copper flooded your mouth. He didn’t get angry, just gripped your hair and moved you both to the cushions. He groaned into your open mouth, pinning your body below his and manipulating you how he wanted.

Then again, maybe you’d ruined him too.

You shouldn’t be alive. You shouldn’t still have a throat to drag air down, but here you were. Shoving against him and forcing him to submit to your whims. You weren’t the only one who’d changed, and you both knew it.

#bo sinclair x reader #Slashers x reader #house of wax x reader #house of wax 2005 #Slasher x reader #slashers x y/n #Slashers x you #bo Sinclair x you #bo Sinclair x y/n

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zerodaytesttape · 5 months ago

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i knor you are a andre centered blong but i would sell my soul for some freakay cal headcanons

Heres some not-very-gender-specific hcs!!!

Also some surprise Caldre at the end

(Also don't worry at all, i'd also sell my soul for Cal hc's, it doesn't matter who my acc is centered around I am MORE than happy with writing these!!! I got the help of my friend @happylol-888 , thank her as well ❤️)

Btw this was NOT proof read, my absolute apologies if I said anything wrong

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

- He does not give a fuck where he is, he is VERY happy doing risky things. He'll place his hand on your thigh and give you puppy eyes when you're sitting next to each other or pull you into a unisex bathroom and laugh at you for being a slut if you even make the TINIEST bit of noise ( @happylol-888 )

- He whines, but in a quiet sad puppy kind of way as if he's begging. To add onto that he's not afraid to beg, he will go straight to begging if he isn't getting what he wants. unlike Andre who would rather die than beg ( @happylol-888 )

- He does not want to be comfortable he wants to be cut stabbed, hit, ANYTHINGGG, he does not care. ( @happylol-888 )

- He bites. That's all, he just bites ( @happylol-888 )

- He shakes and shivers when he's close

- He switches up so mf fast. He will go from whining and begging and giving you his pretty eyes and treating you like his god, to pinning you down and calling you all sorts of cruel names. He'd laugh at you while you sobbed, but wipe your tears and kiss your face afterwards

- Scoffs and giggles to himself when he sees the mess you made despite him not even putting his hands on you yet, its humiliating

- LOVES knifes or sharp things to his neck.

- Would fucking lose his SHIITTTT to feeling your cold hands against his skin. Little bit of a temperature kink

- He'd be down to feel the cold stainless steel(referencing one of my posts) against his skin, to feel the rush of "what if they just slit my throat right here, right now"

- His nails are constantly over his fingertips/pretty long, the scratches and little marks he'd leave would be beautiful.

- Looks like he'd be down to be kicked and hit in the dick

- He has this soft breathy quiet moan, he's not usually loud, but he isn't not-vocal.

- Would be like "oh yeah? mmm, uh huh. what else?" to make fun of you while you begged, then land a hard slap across your face and call you a stupid whore with a sly smile on his face

- LOVESSSS hair pulling, recieving or giving but ESPECIALLY recieving. His hair is just the perfect length to grab and pull at

- Mf would BEG, PLEAD, CRAVEEEE to go down on you. He'd ask and ask and ask for you to push your hand in his hair and pull whenever it felt good. When he eventually got your permission, he was GOOD.

- Hickeys are his SHIT, he wants them all over you. He wants to walk around with you, hand-in-hand, showing off you and the marks he made

- He wouldn't want to hurt you too bad, but I think he wouldn't complain about a little bit of CNC. He'd love the feeling of holding you down and feeling the impact of your fists hitting his chest as you tried to get him off, he knows you want it, he would make sure, but until you two are done, "no" and "stop" mean nothing to him, he needs you too badly

- He'd be down to cut you/ watch you cut yourself. If he was doing it to you, he'd bite his teeth down onto his lip and smile as you winced from his blade running along your skin.

He'd stare up at you as you look at the deep red mess he made all over your thighs, like a stupid bitch waiting for a gold sticker. If you were doing it, he'd sit and watch the blade touch down on your skin, his hand down his pants. He'd watch the blood start to bead as he palmed himself over his boxers, he'd even beg to lick the metallic red off of your skin, he wants to clean up the mess he made you make.

andddd some Caldre, bc this was my excuse too add them❤️

- Andre had never been one to bottom, Cal was always underneath Andre getting every single pit of pent-up rage crashed down on him in the most pleasurable way possible, but a few times it was the other way around. Cal would tease Andre at the dinner table, his hands trailing across the fly of Andre's jeans, once in a while palming him for a split second and then moving his hand down to his thigh instead. He'd get Andre so desperate that he would practically beg with his eyes to go upstairs. Andre would excuse himself, then Cal moments later. Once Cal got upstairs after Andre he'd find himself pinning Andre to a wall with his knee between his legs. He'd listen to his quiet whines and gasps and Cal would once-in-a-while pushing his thigh against Andre's zipper, the pressure getting too much for Andre to handle without at least a little bit of whining. Cal loves it every single time Andre gets desperate, even though its not often.

- Caldre road head. Coming back from shooting in the forest, Andre is mad about god knows what and practically screaming at Cal whose sitting silently beside him in the passenger seat. Cal knows that Andre will get over it quickly and he isn't truly genuinely actually mad, Cal just accidentally pissed him off somehow, Andre was like a landmine. His ears would ring at the sound of Andre's voice, he'd watch his cheeks get red with anger and emotional outburst, his hands tightly grabbing the steering wheel, his muscles tense through his shirt, his eyes fixated on the road. Cal would slowly trail his hand across the middle compartment of Andre's car and onto his thigh, he'd feel the texture of the tight denim as Andre kept on lecturing. He didn't even notice Cal's hand on his body until it was unzipping his fly. He felt the pressure slowly release as Cal pulled down his jeans just enough to get some access, then suddenly his voice got quieter and quieter, then he just stopped yelling. His hand went from the steering wheel to being intertwined in Cal's soft blonde hair, holding him tight as Cal kissed all along his thighs and v-line. The car went from silence to Andre quietly moaning as Cal kissed all along his dick, then quiet moans turned to more as Cal fully took him. Cal was always amazing at cheering him up, but that was usually by making him laugh. But hey, this works too. Whose complaining??

- Andre fucking LOVES hurting Cal and hearing him whine. He'll hit him in the side or pinch his skin just to hear him in a bit of pain

- He still does not care where he is, he is very happy doing risky things. he’ll place his hand over Andre’s dick when they’re sitting next to each other ( @happylol-888 )

#zero day #andre kriegman #cal gabriel #i love men #i love zero day #i love dick #cnc k!nk #caldre #i need calvin gabriel #gay pride #fucking fags

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windupaidoneus · 2 days ago

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hildegarde has a really neat design! Do you have any more lore for him?? (I realise I’m saying this that the answer is probably “yes”, but I’d be curious to find out anything more!)

I hope this is alright to ask~

omg hello!!! thank you so much, & ofc ofc! i love to talk about him much to the detriment of anyone who followed me before i got into ffxiv LMAO

he's. so much. gestures broadly. raised in garlemald (adopted by a high-ranking family, this did Not go well for him), deserted during the 7th calamity at a whopping 21 years old & stuck around in gyr abania for some time on his own before making his way to the black shroud. stayed there for some time, got picked up by bremondt, & that's how his adventuring journey ✨ started! WOO!!

ok im gonna put the rest under a read more its a LOT of paragraphs bc i write a lot of paragraphs about him always. i still have a few unanswered asks that are unanswered bc i type too much & i had to go to bed before i could finish. it's scary down there

ALSO IM BAD AT BEING CONCISE one day ill have his lore doc written up all pretty & nice & itll be actually digestible. but for now!!

notable things about him: - strong affinity for magic (especially white magic for a long time. blm/rdm are now pretty much on par though) but can do anything. he learnt Everything so he could be able to help others in as many ways as he could - omnicrafter but strongest affinity for alchemy. bc of course - system, which honestly might as well be canon to the wol anyway like ardbert is right there. different headmates have affinities for different classes & all of them have dealt with emet at some point in their lives, directly or indirectly - hes! currently 38. started arr at 26. i try not to worry too much about the npcs' ages but there WAS a 4 year timeskip between 7.0 & 7.1 in his timeline - sibling dynamic with nero due to having known him since they were kids (well nero was a teen but same thing) - shapeshifting that is more out of his control than anything, remnants of the effects of the corrupted light on his body (also why he's got white hair & blank eyes, as well as gilded/whitened scales. which. i only recently added to his ingame design bc i was too lazy to work it out before OOPS) - oh also he has a prosthetic leg & a cybernetic abdomen. due to his um bad self care tendencies. his legs are digitigrade

at the start of arr & for a very long time hildegarde views himself as a fundamentally bad person as well as a monster, & to make up for it he needs to put himself in service of the "good people". he's a beast his allies can sic on their foes, & anytime he puts his wants first he is doing something Bad. he feels responsible for any deaths that happen in the sense that people who get too close to him just... seem to die. this is deeply rooted in his mind due to the siblings he lost back in garlemald, which were invariably pinned on him as the oldest of them. & it doesn't help that people do just keep dying on him!! & so yeah he puts himself in service of others at his own expense & anytime he "makes the mistake" of letting someone get close, or doing something because he wants to, it reinforces a subconscious belief that he will pay for it some day. (cut to shadowbringers) oobh he paid for it (joking. but he really felt it) [ now all of this is really funny juxtaposed with the fact he did go through the hildibrand quests as they were happening so he had like, these bouts of absurd & whimsy that were completely fine but the moment he hit the quest complete sound he'd return to lamenting his existence. it is how it is ]

oh and he did necromancy. up until mid-shadowbringers he was doing necromancy. well. researching it for the most part, as he was trying to find an Ethical way to bring back the deceased (haurchefant.) but because it utilised his own aether he gave up when said aether stopped being viable for much of anything & never came back to it. because the shock the events of shadowbringers caused him prevented him from ever going back to it. he also researched tempering & was trying to find ways to revert it but msq took care of that for him so he doesn't have to worry about it anymore ✨

im sure ive posted about shadowbringers specifically before for him but. gist of it is that due to his studies relating to tempering & magic in general, & the fact he is a white mage by trade to begin with, he realised something was very wrong very quickly. not the specifics of it but he notices the enemies happen to be casting the exact same spells as him, it gets in his head very quickly & he keeps doing it bc well he has to & it's fine if he has to be a sacrificial lamb of sorts teehee! (skips & hops) it also means he withdraws more than usual. doesn't talk much to ardbert about how he feels because he considers ardbert has gone through more than enough at this point. & this leads to himmmm leaning ontoooo emet. the most.

the entire arrangement sucks but by mt gulg he feels emet is the only one who sees him for what he is (a monster) & he's just about ready to give in & try to get to the tempest on his own. which i don't even think would've been possible but emet's suicidal tendencies are a topic for another post. amaurot is fucking agonising, as someone who can't deal with grief At All himself it's like seeing exactly the kind of shit he would do if he had the power to, it's the realisation emet & he are a lot more alike than he'd thought, & realising there is no way this won't end in Someone dying. & god. he's so tired. he's so damn tired of everyone dying on him. for him, because of him, he's sick of it. but it happens anyway. & while everyone celebrates he's so struck by it he ends up getting

really bad nightmares (unconventional approach to breaking down my paragraphs)

that very much could've killed him had emet not dragged himself back from the aetherial sea to play the role of himself in them. the emet present in these nightmares was extremely harsh & cruel, would've led to hilde hurting himself in his sleep. not necessarily something emet was happy to do but he did basically tell the scions they had to take care of his legacy or whatever so it would've been counterproductive to let the wol die. this is how they end up bonding with less like.. weight to it somehow, though it's very one-sided since hilde is not aware this is actually him for real inside his head. its a whole thing. thats already too many words. um well that gets resolved with the end of post 5.3 & um cut to post endwalker & emet is back to life through the 🔥POWER OF LOVE 🔥 (soul subconsciously pulled back into one of the remaining solus clones bc of the want to be there to experience life again this time with hildegarde. CORNY MAYBE. but ever the sentimental. it suits him.)

nowadays he's doing a lot better. he's fine with himself, he even allows himself to get angry sometimes! he's capable of recognising when he's not in the wrong, when he can say no, he even Has Fun. crazy stuff. !!! oh & he's also dating hancock. quite possibly one of the funniest things about him. he has kids. that's without counting all the ones he unofficially adopted or considers himself guardians of throughout the game. he needs to eat a lot bc shadowbringers fucked with his ability to absorb aether & he happens to really like food so it's another thing that brings joy into his life. dawntrail was real good for him in that regard.

um. ! yeah. that'ssss hildegarde. ! i left out a lot probably but this is already so much he's just so much 😭 my most specialest...

#asks #flowering-darkness #ffposting #hildegarde roquefort #having to physically stop myself from elaborating on Everything. there really is just so much to him #my beloved mary-sue. fly free

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no-shxme · 1 month ago

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not a talonpost but bc its my blog here's my unnecessarily long review of the ambessa novel. there WILL be spoilers, however I'm gonna divide it by type. (including no spoilers)

this post is gonna be long so im putting it under the cut. i'll even use mostly good grammar. (crazy)

Overview: (this zone is spoiler-free)

Obligatory note of: this is just my opinion feel free to disagree. Right off the bat let me just say that this book was hard to get through. Noxus is my favorite region but I don't care much about Ambessa, didn't care much about her in Arcane either. Mel is cool but that's all. This would be remedied if the writing was better but it's also just--not. I took a break from reading other books to read this one (I didn't hold to this by the way, I read two other books while I was reading this one. that's why it took so long.) and the difference is... pronounced. This isn't to say that the writing is all bad. It's more middle of the road for me, mostly. There's definitely some tasty lines in there. There's a line notably that goes: "Every breath was agony. There was not enough air in the whole world." I really like that one. That's the single gem from the prologue, which is single-handedly the worst part of the book.

The prologue is only spoilers if you haven't seen that one blood sweat and tears video as it's literally that, play by play with just a little more background context. And it's so bad. When I got through the prologue I was prepared to be brutally disappointed by the rest of it. It feels like something that a higher-up gave to the writer like 'put that in asap.' Dunno if that's actually the case but it reads like that, so either way, not good.

My opinion is that this book is pretty mid, I think they made poor writing choices and I just didn't believe a lot of it. It reads very much as a 'video game book,' with pacing meant to keep people locked in. I think it doesn't help from a subject matter standpoint that they picked Ambessa in the past, so the stakes are automatically lower because she can't die yet, and neither can Mel, or Rell. I'm not saying this like I was hoping characters would die. I think a lot of writers slap character death into stories (or a lot of readers expect it) when what they really want is for characters to change. (And someone dying is a very easy way to do that.)

The Change: (broad thematic spoilers??)

Ambessa has none. She is a strong fighter making hard choices at the beginning and by the end she is a strong fighter making hard choices still. Throughout the book she continually makes hard choices, strength of the wolf and all that. Mel changes a teeny bit in the beginning (we learn how she gets her tattoos) but then she's the same. To be fair, Mel's not as important of a character in the novel so that's at least more excusable. Anyway, I found Ambessa boring because of it. Her 'character growth' is more or less reaffirming what she already knows, and she reacts to stuff that happens to her but she doesn't really change.

The Characters: (general character spoilers)

There are a lot of non-champ characters introduced. In my opinion many of them uhh a little too fast. LOTS of new names are thrown around and I kept having to flip back. This goes for locations too. There's a map at the front of the book that I kept going back to look at. Could be a skill issue though to be fair. :')

As far as new characters go, the most important is probably Ta'Fik, the primary antagonist, and Rudo, Mel's father. I didn't... reallyyyyy care about either of them. We meet Kino too, Mel's brother, but uhhh. Yeah I mean he's nice but he just didn't leave much an impression to me personally, mainly because he's barely focused on, so I can't blame him.

Rell is also involved as a principle character (spoilers for Rell b plot) and she's like, super bisexual (though I suppose it reads more as lesbian bc she's only showing interest in this girl, but whatever! We know she's bi.) In the story she has like, this budding relationship with this other character, Tora, and honestly like.... I hate it. To me it feels really shoehorned, especially when combined with the pacing. A lot of time is covered in the book. Journeys take months. Totally fine of course, but we don't really experience the bulk of that journey except for some scattered scenes, so it becomes harder (in my opinion) to believe their interest in each other. It's really weird, personally how Ambessa brings it up to begin with. Like when Tora is first introduced Rell sees her and just insta blushes and then she's described as a heart breaker and Ambessa tells her off a little like 'hey don't break her heart' or whatever it was she said. It did serve a dual purpose but it just felt too quick and like, weird. There's also another scene where Rell and Ambessa are shopping in the Immortal Bastion and at one point Ambessa starts to talk to her and Rell's like: oh omg my bad I thought you were going to give me The Talk.

AND IM HUHHHH

I don't know. I'm aro so I dont vibe with romance in a lot of cases, but I can respect it in context. But this just felt really weird and random. It felt like a plot device to say look how happy I get to be before the Black Rose kidnaps me and turns my life to shit. It seems very juxtaposition-serving and I wish it was done differently. Additionally, because of all of the journeying that happens mostly out of view, some conversations happen that I think could have happened much sooner, considering the length of their journeys. We don't even learn a ton about Tora so it feels-half baked. I understand that Ambessa is the main character but if we're going to switch povs and focus on different characters I would like to see more meat there.

A quick tangent about the POV. (no real spoilers) I thought it would be Ambessa's pov only, but the POV actually changes to a bunch of different characters and I understand for storytelling (and the fact that Ambessa has no change in character) why they did it but I wish they'd really pushed it. This is definitely more of a personal writing gripe though. I don't think every switch was necessary or particularly strengthened the book. I think it needed more flavor.

Also, a lot of the writing to me felt like it lacked the necessary emotional dig to make something as compelling as it could be. We dig into some emotions, but not enough imo. I really wish they would have pushed everything a little further. I think I would've liked every character more. Instead it kinda feels like we're being hustled from scene to scene. The story lacks emotional complexity. I don't necessarily think it's the author's fault, though I haven't read anything else she's written.

The Lore: (spoiler heavy)

What disappointing me about this book is how it emphasizes (to me) how little Riot has planned ahead. Rell's not even that old but already her lore is getting reworked. Technically her book lore now fits into her bio lore, but if you read the bio you wouldn't think that, because there's no mention, so it seems unplanned, something they just came up with. And if we're going by this new lore that puts Rell in like what, her 30's? She'd be older then Mel right so... idk. Well into adulthood at the time of 'current cannon,' so it's not even like, the identity that people signed up for. Rell is a teenage girl going on a rampage and its weird to suddenly make her an adult. It's like putting Annie in a story so that her 'canon' age is 45. It's like--weird. It wouldn't be as bad if they'd just planned it in advance but it doesn't read like they did, so (imo) they should just abandon the idea of a shared unified canon. Because it just doesn't work with a champion roster this big. Now there's technically two Rells. The sixteen year old Rell with no mention of Ambessa, and the other Rell who is well into adulthood (if she even lived that long). So what's going to happen with the MMO then? Are we going to get teenage Rell with 11 year old Mel? Or are we going to get Adult Mel with Adult Rell? It's cooked.

Noxian lore in general was the main reason I read this book. (That and for a talon/du couteau mention) and there was a good amount of Noxian lore, though not as much about the Immortal Bastion, rather northern Shuriman settlements. Which is fine, it's just my interest is located in a more Talonish direction lol. Either way, it's nice. There was a surprising amount of drakehound lore, and we do visit the Immortal Bastion once, which is cool. I will consolidate the lore tidbits into a different post later for anyone who doesn't want to read the book lol.

As cameos we do get a paragraph a piece for Swain and Marcus Du Couteau but I'm going to be honest, while the fanservice is cool it reaallyyyy cheapens the book. An Arcane viewer won't necessarily be familiar with either of those characters, so a random paragraph dedicated to them reads as very out of place. When I first read the section I thought to myself: 'thats cool but if they never bring up Swain or Marcus again then this is going to read as shit.' And uhh... yeah. There's actually two du Couteau mentions by the way, but one is only mentioned like 'even a Du Couteau showed up' or whatever, I can't remember the exact line I'll have to look at my notes. And then the paragraph on Marcus. I don't really believe in fanservice, I think even a book based on an existing property should be able to stand alone, (unless its a sequel) so I think the inclusion of bigger sections on characters that are LITERALLY never mentioned again is a terrible writing choice and shows a lack of restraint. AbsoLUTELY would've written that differently.

On the topic of magic, the way magic is written is like.. floaty. I know Riot is using more of a softer system, the rules are not clearly defined. But man I wish we'd at least give it a bit more definition. A lot of runes/sigils are involved in the book and I just--don't fully know what a rune/sigil is in the context of this book. Like I DO. but i also DON'T. It's floaty. They're like, drawing them and putting them on people and I'm just--how are they coming up with them? I wish it was dug into a little more. Agh. Also magic is described pretty loosely and I wish it just had a bit more realness to it. By realness I mean something to ground it more. It felt vague. I would also say that Rell mastered her magic awful fast but at the same time, Mel did pretty similarly I think in Arcane so I'm assuming that's just how it goes you just pop the magic cherry and suddenly it all comes flooding in.

This review is way too long but I have one more like, major grievance:

Leblanc: (spoilers.)

IS SHE INCOMPETENT???? IS SHE INCOMPETENT?? IS SHE SLAYFUL BUT USELESS???

So at the end of the novel Ambessa is visited by Leblanc who says "omg you're so pathetic but you've somehow managed to ruin years of planning AND kill two of my BEST mages. anyway you're intriguing i'm gonna let you live bye."

AND ITS HUHHHHHHHHHHH

AH YES. THE CLASSIC 'YOU INTRIGUE ME, I AM SOOO POWERFUL BUT I'LL SPARE YOU,' SCHTICK. love that. so much. never been done before. It'd be at least more believable if LB HADN'T JUST SAID HOW SHE RUINED SO MUCH FOR HER. I don't know it's kinda crazy. leblanc is painted as this big schemer with eyes everywhere and centuries of plans but here she just seems incompetent not killing ambessa. we know why ofc. If ambessa dies then she won't show up in arcane, but like. DAMN. it just sucks. and it makes me wonder about her other antics. like how in the hell does kayn manage to steel a darkin weapon from NOXUS, if leblanc is clearly interested in a darkin weapon. it's just so ridiculous i think she might be a girlfailure. (and it highlights the lack of planning on riot's part but) idk the book made me respect her far less. don't get me wrong, i like her, but she's also a flop. if there's some power limiter on her that the reader doesn't know about then.... i would like... to know a little bit.... a hint. an inkling. because otherwise she's just a girlfailure...

Minor Nitpicks:

There's one section of the book that uses the word Dancer so many times in a short period that it pissed me off so bad.

Reiterating: there are some good lines but some of the prose is SOO clumsy that I don't know why they didn't change it.

There's lots of explaining things through talking, and lots of summary, including summary of stuff that's already happened.

A yordle gets mentioned.

I think some of the names for the warbands/ops are pretty dog. But that's just my personal opinion. 'The Scar's Rangers' 'The Bloody Thunders,' 'The Shadow Hunters.' Really not a naming style I enjoy. To compare I think of Achilles' Myrmidons which sounds much cooler to me. I wish they could've added at least a lil more variety in terms of naming convection, even throwing in some Shuriman word or something, that'd be cool.

The way they handled language in general disappointed me, but it could've been much worse so it's whatever.

After all that, I dub this book mid. It wasn't the worst, but I didn't care for it much. I won't reread except for lore. I don't think it's a waste of a book or anything I just wish things had been done differently. I'm gonna be totally bold and say that I almost wish we had a totally different character as the only protagonist. I think Kino would have been an excellent choice to focus on both his sister AND his mother, and would have allowed for a unique perspective, provided the plot of the book delved beyond its original scope. Like a tragedy ending with Kino's death would have been really good I think, considering we still don't know how he died. That being said it'd probably have sold like shit or smth because no champ pov. Whatever. 5/10. If you've read the novel I'd love to hear your thoughts, even if you disagree or whatever. All opinions are welcome. Thanks if you indulged me and read the whole thing.

#ambessa chosen of the wolf #arcane #long post #ambessa

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hezekiahwakely · 1 year ago

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After spending literally multiple days and nights listening to hours of new music, here are my thoughts on what the Protocol playlists might tell us about the characters. I'm gonna break it down by large themes and I'm putting it under a read more bc I don't know how to not ramble about this. its SO MUCH

Gwendolyn Bouchard 👁️

Hers is the most self-explanatory. Girlboss is girlbossing and paying for it. But I did pick up several nuances.

Gwen is: Cold, power-hungry, and ambitious (you should see me in a crown, Are You Satisfied?, Severance theme). Suffering from her own hubris (Oh No!, Gasoline). Resentful and envious, especially about family, wealth, and power (Family Jewels, 24 hours, Warriors). Touching the dark and being supernaturally influenced (Mr. Bonzo theme, Evil Eye, We Don't Talk About Bruno, Making Love to the Dead).

Special mention to the 'daddy's money' reference in 24 hours.

Samama Khalid 😶‍🌫️

Sam makes ridiculously long playlists, like me, so this entry is gonna be long, but the emotional vibes were pretty easy to pick out once I got through it.

Sam is: Straight chillin' to some lo-fi beats, desi hip hop, and melodic bops (literally too many to list but, Remind Me, Forgive the Mess, 93 'Til Infinity, Magpie, Fire Sale, Iniesta Flow, I Guess, Prarthana, Hai Hai, etc., etc.). Rebellious (The Adults Are Talking, Reptilia). Bonded with someone (Halo Flip, soulboy). Yearning, romantic, and playful (Girl Like You, Mr. Sandman, New House, Meteor, You Only Live Once, Be Your Girl, Dear Jean, Say The Word, My Girl/Hey Girl, Smiley, The Real Sugar). Reminiscing about a break-up (Oui, Afterparty Lover, Last Nite, Stick Season, Turn off the Lights, Jessie (i miss you), WONDERING, Afterthought, I Love You, I'm Trying). Full of regrets, pain, and melancholy bitterness (Seasons, Can't Call It, Let It Go, nightmares, Pretty Insane, different tomorrow..., Cigarette Daydreams, CABIN FEVER, Self destruct, Go Back, Stuck Here With Me, Bliss City). Alienated, yet wanting to be alone (uh-oh) (Creep, Alone, Stone cold., Paint it, Black).

Special shout-out to all the implications about the old Sam/Alice relationship. And I'm especially worried by the potential meanings of Downside Up, Let It Go, Go Back, and Stuck Here With Me.

Also, interesting that there's a lyric-free track just called 'drained' at the end of his playlist. I'm sure that's fine.

Alice Dyer 🌀

Oh my girl. What is going on with you. She has impeccable and predictable taste, at least. But... then there's the Ominous Implications again...

Alice is: Rebellious, anarchic, and irreverent (Underclass Hero, Toxicity, Tribute, Buddy Holly, Dragostea din tei, Feel Good Inc., Piss Off, Rebel Rebel, Ghost Town, Brimful of Asha, Surrender, Uncle Walter, United States of Whatever). Blasting high-confidence power anthems (Material Girl, Therefore I Am, Jump, Bad Reputation, The Middle). Depressed behind a mask of high energy and false cheeriness (SugarCrash!, Mad World, Bathroom Floor). Yearning after someone's love (A.M. 180, Zombie Love Song, Nearer Than Heaven, Save Tonight, Ms. California, Because I Love You, Fell In Love With A Girl, Take Me Out). Reminiscing about a break-up (Ciao!, Built This Way, Kidz 'N' Stuff, FRIENDS, Free Fallin', Not In Love, Who Knew, Song for the Dumped, When It All Falls Apart, Laid, Complicated). Feeling crazy and overwhelmed (uh-oh) (Basket Case, In Too Deep, Bonkers, I'm A Robot, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, 19-2000, Wonderland, High, Undone, Cosmic Castaway). Creeped out and brushing up against the supernatural (Walking On Air, The Blue Wrath, Pet Sematary).

Oooh. Oh, the implications. The Sam/Alice break-up. The potential for feelings that remain. I HAVE to know what happened between them.

Also, here are some select lines from five Alice songs presented without comment: "Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby," "I'm a robot, I'm a robot/I don't have any feeling in my heart," "I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary/I don't want to live my life again," "Take me down, six underground/The ground beneath your feet," "Walking like a zombie, like a zombie."

I'm sure that's all fine.

Celia Ripley 🕸️

The most mysterious new member of the OIAR, her music choices are appropriately enigmatic. The Vibes make me excited to see what she's hiding under the surface.

Celia is: Raring for a fight (Seven Nation Army, Rumble, know your place, Run from Me). Fed up with the system (Blood//Water, Run You). Bold, sexy, headstrong, and self-confident (Creature, Took A Trip, River, Do It For Me, Aerials, Uber). Struggling against supernatural influence, feeling trapped and helpless (Mama! There's a Spider in My Room, Where Is My Mind?, I Feel Like I'm Drowning, Closer, Space Dementia, Rain)

So we've all but confirmed the theory that she's from the OG Archives timeline and that she has continuing ties to the Web from passing through Hill Top Road. I think we have hints here that she's manipulating the others, but I also think there are signs that she's fighting her own battle against an evil trying to take her. There also seems to be an overarching theme of water in many of her songs for some reason 🤔

I can't wait to get more of Celia. Even if she is lying, I'm rooting for her (<hoping this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass)

In conclusion, I love them all already your honor, and I want to thank the cast for putting such loving care into crafting these for us. Thank you for such great food to feed our wild theorizing.

#i think i had the most fun listening to hindi rap for the first time #theres just something about following the flow and beat when you cant understand the language. its really fun #sort sort i love to arbitrarily sort #also i assumed these were songs /about/ the characters and not under the conceit that these are songs the characters are listening to #just play in this space with me #tmagp #the magnus protocol #gwendolyn bouchard #gwen bouchard #alice dyer #samama khalid #sam khalid #celia ripley #tmagp theory #also i started writing this a few weeks ago and since then ive been listening to KR$NA obsessively lol. thank you Shahan

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ghostiiess · 2 years ago

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[NSB HEADCANONS] - oliver moy singing you to sleep

◇─◇──◇─◇◇─◇──◇─◇◇─◇──◇─◇◇─◇──◇─◇◇─◇──◇─◇◇

pov: you can't slep, but oliver moy is here to help you

warnings: insomnia, not being able to sleep.. mention of neck kissing (not in a 18+ way), i think that's all? let me know if there's more :)

type: wholesome

member: oliver moy

it was like 3am

and you couldn't fall asleep

you wanted to, it's not like you wanted to stay up

(rest of the hc under the cut!)

you were so sleepy

you just couldn't sleep even if you were tired of your day

it has been almost 2 hours of you trying to sleep

and let's say you were tired of turning and rolling in your bed, hoping you'd fall asleep in a certain position

you were mad bc why couldn't you fall asleep? you were tired and super sleepy!

in hope to fall asleep, you went out of the bed

you quietly went to the kitchen and drank some cold water in hope it'll make you fall asleep or smth like that

of course, you weren't sleeping alone

oliver was there :))

when you came back to the bed, he softly put his arms around you and yawned

"can't sleep, pretty girl?"

you shaked your head

"here, come closer"

his head was on your shoulder while yours was cuddling against his chest

"you know what they say..! if you can't fall asleep, its bc someone is thinking about you"

you rolled your eyes

"they better stop, soon"

oli chuckled and started massaging your back with his fingers

you guys were practically hugging atp

"you are so soft" he whispered in your ear

i feel like oli would like kiss you on your neck (not in a 18+ way) while you are cuddling him

LIKE IDK WHY!!

to me, he would be the type to softly kiss you and compliment you

"you are so pretty"

"my cute baby angel"

"do you want me to read you to sleep?"

"or like, i could sing you to sleep.."

AND THEN!!! you're like :O bc like hearing oliver moy singing is like heaven

so, of course you said yes

he couldn't stop smiling, bye-

he was having butterflies in his stomach 😭 he didn't know you'd actually say yes

idk if you heard the acoustic version of 'sunshine' on the nsb music youtube channel (this is heaven, im not even kidding), but at the beginning, oli sang "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine"

the song is at the end of the hc 😈

so yeah, he would probably sing that to you!

and others songs he made with the boys ofc

and unrealeased ones 😏😏

"you like it baby? should i post it?" (the answer is yes)

this man is too sweet

he would also stroke your hair while singing

and if you don't have hair, then he'll rub your shoulders to give you a nice small massage 😌

and if you don't like massage, then he would simply hug you and kiss you on your forehead if that's something you'd like

oli = ray of sunshine

he'll wait for you to be asleep, before going to sleep again

like this man will never fall asleep before you

he'll always wait for you

that way, he knows you're okay

your security > his security

like pls this man do not care if he doesn't sleep! As long as you do, he's happy

i hope you guys understand what im trying to say here 😭🤭

anyways!! to conclude this hc, oli would be so sweet and cute

like he doesn't mind if he have to sacrifice his sleep for you

he'll always do it <3

taglist! (Open! Send an ask if you want to be in it!): @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

bold can't be tagged :(

the acoustic sunshine video is here! (the link is safe!)

the song i think oli would sing to you:

#ghostiiess #nsb #northstarboys #north star boys #headcanon #headcanons #nsbheadcanons #oli moy #olivermoy #oliver moy #olimoy #oliver moy x y/n #oliver moy x reader #nsb x reader #northstarboys x reader #north star boy x reader #Spotify

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momo-shut-the-fuck-up · 3 months ago

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Hello I’m new! I read somewhere that most of the outfits so far have been very Lilith kingdom coded (??) because that’s what the heartland kingdom is based on (??) and they predicted that when we get clothes they’ll usually be in the design of the location we’re in in-game?? Do you have any expertise or comments to share with an enthusiastic Nikki newbie?

Hihi welcome to nikkiverse :] This is quite a long reply, thats y it took me so long to get to ya.

I summarised the 7 nations and their respective styles/names across the franchise, and included a link to a more in depth explanation of the nations of Miraland if you feel like doin research- but then i saw that post had a much better and much more succinct TLDR than i made oops. So i ll keep what i wrote but if u dont feel like readin it, just go to the reddit.

I'll give you a v brief overview of the other games too, thats y im tryna save u from my rambling lol- it aint over once u get past the nations pfft. Put it under a readmore cuz it was gettin looong

Ninir/lilith/Heartcraft kingdom: cutesy and/or fairytale-esque designs. Most people call it Lilith, from Love nikki. I can see why they started with Lilith, it s the most "whimsical" of the bunch, and they love that word. Its true that there's been a good amount of Lilith-styled suits released so far, but there's a decent amount of apple and north and now we have cloud styles too- hold on,

Apple Federation/Starhail Federation- It's basically modern styles, and anythin that doesnt quite fit into the rest of the nations. Styles are very varied and range from Regular Girl from Class to Worlds Most Overdesigned Gacha Character (and they fuck hard). The trend is just that the clothes are inspired by (relatively) modern fashion trends.

Cloud/Linglang empire- chinese/east asian traditional clothing. Devs loove cloud, ofc they do, bcs theyre a chinese company. If ur into this style too, ur in for a wonderful time playin these games buddy

North kingdom/ Empire of light: Millitary style, knights, soldiers, cool bitches w guns or just cool bitches in general (istg sometimes they put apple suits in north for no reason) oh also fluffy warm clothing. Its cold in the north after all. They dont get a lot of suits.

Pigeon/Twinmoon Kingdom: European style clothes, as well as religious inspos, and demons/angels (pigeon has always had some connection with the church). Academia, steampunk, uhh idk victorian clothing etc. U get the vibe yea?

Wasteland/Terra Alliance: Racism land. Or more accurately, whatever seems "exotic" to devs, they throw it in there. Ancient egyptian, middle east, indian, uhh idk dreamcatchers r wild right? Put that in there. they have some native american ones too and yeah they re all pretty questionable. Wasteland doesn't have a great reputation. Idk if infinikki will be better about this, but when u throw half the planet's traditional clothing styles into a mixer you re already doin somethin wrong imo

Ruin island/Whale port: Futurism babey. Wires and glowy things and tech and robots n shit. Pretty simple really

https://www.reddit.com/r/InfinityNikki/comments/1hbslkd/an_general_introduction_to_the_seven_nations_of/?rdt=49525

Here s the reddit post. Very helpful, a Nikkiverse veteran that explains the world of Miraland for people just getting into it in Infinikki. I just realised at the very bottom of their post, there's a much more compact TLDR of the nations than I cooked up.... coulda saved me a lotta trouble writing it and you a lotta trouble reading it...

So. In the other games (Love/Shining Nikki) we get whatever style the devs feel like throwing at us. Sometimes there s craftable ones related to the main story thus the location we're in. But in Infinity Nikki it's slightly different.

We are Not region locked in terms of aesthetics- as i said, we got Apple and North style clothes as well as stuff from Cloud, alongside the cutesy Lilith style clothing. A lot has been "Lilith Kingdom coded" as you put it, because we are in Lilith equivalent. (I Think we have some Pigeon coded stuff too- but sometimes Apple/Lilith/Pigeon's styles blur together a bit)

However, i d guess it's gonna be some time before we get Ruin style suits, let alone Wasteland- they're already the least popular in devs minds, they have the least amount of suits in every single game so far. So ima guess we're only half region locked, but not at all completely stuck with bows and frills.

Now, I don't really know if you're currently Playin any of the games. Ima guess infinikki is ur gateway drug?

Love Nikki is a lot of people's first Nikki game. 2D and incredibly detailed, it's been running for- close to 10 years now. It's Old, and feels old, and isn't very friendly to newcomers- but if you get past it's clunk you'll get the most robust 2D dress up experience there is. Except that yes, we have bunch of skintones, but none of them work with 99% of makeups..... devs have a bad track record with diversity.

Shining Nikki is the new shiny (ha) 3D game that got a global release in 2021. I was there day 1 i was so fuckin hyped for it- and it does it's job damn well. Much more intuitive and more f2p friendly than Love Nikki, but it will fry your phone. Monkey's paw curls.

And Infinity Nikki is "what if Sn was open world" except that we're not even in the same world as Sn do nvm.... Clothes are every bit as detailed as in Sn, and i'll stop here cuz my guess is that ur comin from here. If sn fries ur phone tho, infinikki destroys it- cant really enjoy the beautiful dresses unless u got a nasa phone or play on pc. If u can tho, it's the most straightforward of the bunch in terms of gameplay- really made for beginners of the franchise.

Soo pick ur poison, or play all 3 if ur insane. Read the main story, or don't, make pretty outfits, save diamonds so u can get more pretty clothes to make pretty outfits with- now Nikki has cemented herself in your life. You can never leave. You will wake up in a cold sweat at 12 am thinkin "oh fuck shit i didnt do my dailies-"

That is to say, remember these are all gacha games, Infinikki being the purest form of them 3. Thus, they all have inherently predatory monetization. Be conscious of it and spend responsibly if you choose to do so. It's not necessary per se, i haven't spent in love nikki in- 3 or so years i think? (I got mad at devs so i did my own lil boycott lol- long story,) and ever since sn came out, i think i gave em like, 60? 80? I dont remember. Its a lot when put in plain numbers, but when i think this was across 4 years, it makes me feel better lol.

And well, i think these are the essentials to know- honestly, the whole nations stuff isn t even needed to get started, but you asked specifically about it, so i gave u the rundown. Nikkiblr is a much smaller community than others, but it's cozy in here- hope u stick around~

#There s not much 'expertise' to give really- they re silly little dress up games with some fucked up lore thrown in there #be cautious of their gachaness if youre not familiar with the genre. but otherwise. hop in and have fun #i hope this whole response made sense. if there s anythin else u wanna know u can send another ask or send me a dm

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the-type-a · 1 year ago

Note

omg imagine an au with duncney as actors playing love interests in a movie… (i apologize in advance bc this is pretty long)

and the movie doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic movie it could be any genre and they don’t both have to be the main actors they could just be side characters with important roles, with other td characters acting in the movie, BUT i was thinking that it could be a romance movie with them as the main characters and it would be like;

- courtney is a well known actress who is very passionate about acting. she auditions for this romance movie and gets casted, obviously

- duncan is a less well known actor compared to courtney. his agents convince him to audition for this movie because it could gain him more popularity

- duncan gets the role of the main lead. however, he is NOT enthusiastic about it at all because he hates chick flicks.

- because of this, courtney is under the impression that he doesn’t take acting seriously, that he’s an industry plant or whatever, and that she had to work her ass off to get to where she is today meanwhile this completely unserious guy just gets roles handed to him on a silver platter

- she calls him out on his lack of enthusiasm which causes them to start having beef, non stop bickering on set blah blah blah you can imagine the rest

- he would tease her after kiss scenes, he would say stuff like “you were totally into that kiss” and she would tell him to shut up

- i dont have the creativity to imagine what would cause for this to happen but courtney opens up about her parents super high expectations of her ever since she was a kid (maybe she could have been a child actress, or a theatre kid) and hes like yeah my dads an asshole too. after this they put the beef aside and become amicable

- courtney catches feelings for duncan because she feels like hes the only person that appreciates her for her and not because of her fame and achievements. and duncan falls for courtney because well, shes courtney duh

- one day duncan keeps making mistakes which pisses the director off but courtney defends him and its at that moment that duncan realizes that he loves her

- after they both realize their feelings, they have to film a scene where they make out and they’re both super into it and completely forgetting that it’s just for a movie. and then the camera guy says cut and praises the both of them and says something like “that was some great acting it really felt like you two were in love” and after that it’s SUPER awkward between the both of them

So now i dont really have any other ideas left but I would LOVE to hear your take on this!

Oh, I absolutely LOVE this 🤭

Ngl I got a little Notebook vibes from it because Ryan and Rachel hated each other while filming but then ended up dating sooo yes I can definitely see this happening with Duncney.

I love the idea of them coming to terms with their feelings and just being able to express it without actually having to confront the other about it (in this setting). It just makes it so funny and so entertaining because just imagine their inner dialogues having to do that make out scene 😮‍💨

Don’t even get me started on their thoughts when they aren’t really on good terms. They would absolutely hate admitting the other is a good kisser lmao

If you have more ideas for this please lmk because I’m hooked and there only HCS, I would 100% read this if you decided to make it a fic!

#duncney #td courtney #td duncan #total drama courtney #total drama duncan

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aranarumei · 2 years ago

Text

how much does sasaki talk about hirano?

hey everyone. I’m coming to you live with an INVESTIGATIVE REPORT about the one and only sasaki shuumei. the question above pretty much summarizes what I'm trying to find out. so I’ll expand on this under the cut. apologies in advance for any typos

—

there’s a scene that’s always made me confused ever since I first read it (which wow. I’ve been reading this manga as it updates since partly through volume 3… crazy how far its come!) and that is this sequence of two pages in the extras of Vol 7 (39.5), below:

hirano’s like “well, it’s fine to talk about me to miyano as long as you didn’t say any weird stuff about me” and sasaki goes. Silent. Now I at the time assumed like. ah sasaki’s talking about the hirano and kagiura relationshipisms. or the whole uke thing. right?

…right?

see, the thing is: when sasaki visits campus in ch 46, he asks the basketball team about a kagi-kun, and then when miyano questions him about what he was doing, he’s like “oh I just remembered hirano’s old roommate was on the basketball team,” and then refuses to even tell miyano his name. so it’s like… did sasaki EVER talk about hirano’s roommate to Miyano? like of his own initiative? did he offer any information? so I decided that instead of just bringing that question up, I’d reread all of sasaki to miyano and get my answer.

disclaimer that this deals with exclusively the manga: I have this hidden fear that I’m going to post this and get a reply like “oh this is 50% of the entire novel content” but! the scene in question comes up in the manga! I think it ought to then refer to an event in the manga! but seriously if stuff like that does come up in the novel feel free to chime in. also bc I was rereading the whole manga I have Other Thoughts Too but. those can hopefully marinate their way into other posts.

ch 2:

miyano: But I saw you! I saw you laughing as you chatted with a first-year boy from class 1A in the basketball club with a lovely smile!

this does not count. miyano brings this up to hirano himself. in fact a lot of miyano putting hirano into bl contexts happens In Front Of Hirano’s Face. not really a conversation starter for sasaki. it does make ch 46 way more interesting bc it means like. sasaki has remembered that kagiura’s on the basketball team to the point that he wants to check in on him? whereas miyano like Knows this info yet never really pursues it. suppose it’d be awkward to just go up and try to find him without knowing his name, though.

ch 4:

sasaki says “but hirano can handle alcohol fine” which is perfectly on topic since they were just discussing how sasaki can’t handle it. it’s miyano that spins into bl fantasies afterwards. also hirano is right there in this situation. does not count.

ch 5:

sasaki: Hirano’s playing Oiwa-san for the haunted house. Want to see? He’s crossdressing and wearing a wig.

this does count. sasaki is bringing up hirano and telling miyano something that miyano would totally get excited about. it is, I would say, not brought up out of nowhere, since they discuss crossdressing right before. unrelated to this I would love to see the image of sasaki as hanako-san of the toilet.

ch 6:

sasaki asks about miyano’s love life and when miyano says that he’s not romantically interested in anyone around here, and sasaki asks “what about hirano?” miyano says he ships him with his roommate and the conversation ends there. I would say this also does not count—yeah, he’s perhaps bringing up hirano as a romantic prospect, but I think this is more sasaki like. being jealous more than it is using him as a reason to talk to miyano. he’s like. a pretty jealous guy.

ch 8:

sasaki tells miyano that his grades suck and hirano’s been tutoring him. this does not count.

ch 11:

sasaki says “don’t you prefer black-haired ukes?” and “ah, you mean like hirano?” when miyano says he prefers manly ukes. this does count. while it’s in the topic of conversation, there’s not a real reason he has to bring hirano up. plus, he even continues it with “hirano’s pretty tall. can he still not be a seme?” so it’s using hirano to keep a conversation going with miyano, but I will note it’s not what starts the conversation.

ch 13:

sasaki talks about hirano getting banned from doing the ball toss. this does not count.

ch 24.5:

“ooh, if it was hirano, it would be taiko” says sasaki when miyano brings up all the girl names that he and his classmates would have. this does not count. it’s a natural extension of the various female names they’ve been talking about, sasaki included, and hirano’s their mutual friend.

ch 33:

sasaki brings up hirano’s dedication to studying and how he says that getting accepted to university isn’t the finish line. says hirano’s pretty cool for that mindset. this does not count.

ch 41:

sasaki says "haha, yikes! hirano was a terrible influence!" when miyano tells him about kuresawa getting a piercing. this does not count. it’s also after graduation, where the scene happened.

ch 42.5:

sasaki is like wow I can't believe hirano's roommate does THAT in the mornings to miyano, regarding vol 2 of sasaki to miyano. however this kind of thing isn't quite canonical since they know there are books being published about them so. this does not count.

halloween 2018 extra:

miyano asks if sasaki's friends got their items confiscated, and sasaki replies by saying that hirano's in charge of confiscation for their class, so their class had the idea to overwhelm him. this does not count.

dvd extra 4:

sasaki tells miyano about how they ripped the wallpaper on accident, and once he said it kind of gave it a badboy feel, they started doing it on purpose. hirano participated in it too. this does not count.

I’ve probably missed some, but we can see that out of all of these situations, only TWO are actually what I’d qualify as “weird” by hirano’s metrics. unless sasaki talking about the wild stuff Hirano gets up to includes his ball toss strategy and him ripping up wallpaper. then it’s four. my point is that sasaki says it’s “a lot” when it’s not. so… why is that?

I’ve been mulling over a couple of ideas regarding this, but I kind of don’t want to offer up my own interpretations first? plus when I tried writing my answer I spun off into a really bad tangent, so… post ends here. hope we all learned something here!

#kiri.txt #sasaki to miyano #sasaki shuumei #hirano taiga #i do not think it comes off that way at all but sasakis actually my fav character lol. guy doesnt even know how pretty he is... coughs.#thats unrelated. i should write actual sasamiya fic sometime tho that would be funny #anyways it could be that i missed something real obvious here #whoops if so #mostly i was embarrassed that theres an extra that literally spells out that hanzawas grades are better than hiranos and i got it wrong...#in this essay I will #harusono #sasahira

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spectrum-core · 1 year ago

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hi if you don’t mind me asking I’d love to hear more about serrated duo parallels?

Alright, just to make sure we are on the same page because I'm not sure if many people know who am I even talking about when I say serrated duo, I mean this pair of goofballs who I love very much.

Fuckass essay about them and how this thing even came to be (which is not what you asked for but it's still important I think) under the cut, as a warning though this is EXTREMELY long, i'm also writing it assuming the readers have played ruina to completion, have at least glanced at the ruina artbook once and are decently familiarized with the pjm universe and its terminology.

"But Spec", you may (and reasonably so) say, "these guys show up in different story tiers, one is a glorified ranged attack tutorial with a minor lore exposition attached to him and the other doesn't even have anything going on due to being a general reception, what the hell".

So let's get into this, more meticulously organized than some essays I've submitted for my uni classes because I care that much about these guys (don't be like me and do your uni projects, please).

Table of contents:

How the fuck did this even come to be 1.1. Me yapping about character dessign

Liwei as a character 2.1. The surface 2.2. Emotional internal nature 2.3. Resentment

Dong Hwan as a character (sorry can't separate him into many categories bc there's NOTHING THERE man i'm absolutely grasping for straws here i KNOW it, but please bear with me)

Summarizing parallels

If you don't feel like sitting through my attempts to contextualize how this ship came to be and me desperately grasping for straws, feel free to skip all the way down to part 4

1.- How the fuck did this even come to be

Honestly the whole thing started as a sleep deprivation shitpost I rolled with because yeah i like these two guys a lot (if you read that one post talking among other things about why I like liwei so much in the first place, the short reply also applies to dong hwan and... Yeag, the only thing that's better than one hot guy is two hot guys and so on).

There was also an interesting aspect about this because maybe it's just me but based of liwei's dialogue lines and keypage text he suggests not trusting, or even liking/admiring/looking up to, high graded fixers (despite feeling that he's supposed to). With an emphasis put into colors because, I mean, he fucking died because he met one at the wrong moment, but I feel it's a general thing he feels for grade 2s and above.

With this in mind, putting him to interact with a grade 1 is... at the very least it has the potential to put them into a funny mutual vitriol kind of dynamic with lw constantly thinking "what's the deal with this guy? does he expect me to praise him just for having a high grade? well, tough luck, i'm no bootlicker" and dh constantly thinking "what's wrong with this man? is he unable to recognize greatness even if it punched him in the face...? should i punch him in the face?", but it becomes far more interesting when you try to imagine (and, with dong hwan being an absolute background character we can only assume things of from extremely vague hints, pretty much all we can do about him is imagining) what made them both special enough for each of them to think "wait, hold on, i actually like this guy" of the other.

After the initial shitpost stage was over, we (the guy who came up with serrated duo while sleep deprived and me) started talking about why we liked both characters and we essentially concluded that, at least dessign wise, they are the same type of guy (ofc I also added a couple of characters I like and who fit the criteria to my post but this post isn't about them).

1.1.- Me yapping about character dessign

On top of that, if you pay attention specifically to liwei and dong hwan in there, you can notice that there's a pretty neat balance of common and contrasting themes in their dessigns, almost in a two sides of the same coin way, so here's a non exhaustive list:

both characters have a primarily monochrome/dark aesthetic going on, with their eyes being the primary colored element that stands out in their dessigns (yeah, you could say that dh has brown hair too but it's a dark shade of brown that doesn't catch the eye nearly as much as the bright-yet-deep shade of red of his eyes)

on top of that, liwei's eyes are blue while dong hwan's are red (i thought they were reddish brown at first but that's just an effect of the transparency, if you separate the sprite in it's different parts, you'll notice his eyes are actually red), which happens to link with a certain trope about two-sides-of-the-same-coin pairs... (will elaborate on this later trust me).

despite the previously mentioned similar monochrome aesthetic, there's a clear contrast between their styles and how they wear their clothes, with liwei having a much more "only informal if it's more practical that way" type of look, with a focus on practicality over trying to stand out too much (for the most part at least, he was dessigned with the idea of a cool guy in mind after all), while dong hwan is essentially wearing a business suit in the most fucked up way possible (really, what the fuck dong hwan), which of course makes his dessign incredibly memorable. To further elaborate on this (and to add details that don't really follow this formal until unpractical/informal AND unpractical pattern): -Liwei's clothes stay in similar shades of grey and black giving him a more uniform look, while dong hwan uses more contrasting shades in his clothing (despite wearing primarily black clothes, that light grey shirt absolutely stands out, and by extension he does) -Liwei wears long boots, while dong hwan wears regular shoes -Liwei wears a long coat, while dong hwan wears a short jacket -Liwei has a fully buttoned dress shirt with a tie, dong hwan wears his shirt unbuttoned, in an universe where clothes are basically like armor this is essentially him saying that he's confident that his opponents won't be able to hit him in the chest, or that even if they did he wouldn't get too hurt from it, and it's a dessign detail that absolutely stands out in an universe where most characters only show skin in their head, neck and hands at most, as we know since its stated in multiple keypages and cutscenes, if a character shows more skin than the absolutely bare minimum, then that means that A. they are inmensely strong, and B. they are even more confident in their capacities, with this being a tactic to intimidate potential enemies for many factions -Liwei wears fingerless gloves while dong hwan wears regular gloves, while at first glance this detail seems to subvert the pattern, let's be real here... have you tried to hold any object and using it properly with gloves? unless you're wearing latex gloves or something made of very thin fabric that shit's absurdly hard, of course i assume there's weird city tech involved in dh's gloves but at least that's my own personal impression of that particular contrast)

and going back to common but not really details: both characters have something noteworthy in their ears (this is most likely just a result of the characters being visible as chibis in game so the best way to give them memorable dessigns is by slapping somewhat unique stuff in their faces and heads BUT IM GRASPING FOR STRAWS HERE OK) with liwei's earpiece (which serves a practical function) and dong hwan's earrings (which look cool as hell, going in line with both characters' general priorities)

similarly, both have something in their opposite eyes, with liwei partially covering his right eye with his hair and dong hwan having the scar going through his left eye.

the right-left motif is actually very relevant in their dessigns. You see, most character sprites in ruina switch the hand in which they're holding their weapons for certain frames (or at least, this is not uncommon to see), either for rule of cool, clearer silhouettes or whatever reasons. However, in every frame in which liwei is visibly holding his knife, he holds it with his left hand (and when he uses his pistol he holds it with both hands), suggesting that he may be left handed. On the other hand (see what I did there?), dong hwan consistently holds his knife with his right hand, in every. single. frame. of his sprite, suggesting that he's right handed instead.

And of course, both of them have elements in their opposite legs too, with liwei having these two stupid fucking belts (affectionate) in his right leg while dong hwan has... whatever the fuck that thing is, in his left leg.

Of course I'm not here saying that they were given contrasting dessigns on purpose, but all these details end up making both of them looking really cool when put together, specially with how their dessigns emphatize their personal preferences and priorities, something I will elaborate upon in each character's section later.

2.- Liwei as a character

Liwei is one of my favorite pjm characters as a whole, yes i like him more than ayin, yes i like him more than angela, yes i like him more than carmen, yes i like him more than dante, yes i like him more than your favorite sephirah/patron librarian/sinner, no im not saying i think any of these characters is bad or poorly written and in fact i think pjm has made an amazing job with protagonists so far catching my interest even with characters i thought i wouldn't vibe with at all, but i have a thing for unremarkable background guys.

As you may have guessed, this means that i have a lot, and i mean A LOT to say about him.

This also means that I have a very specific interpretation of him, this interpretation, while clearly taking bases from what we can see of him in game, is entirely fanmade and i'm not trying to claim this is what anyone intended to convey with him, but it's what makes sense for me.

This interpretation also strays away from some other fan characterizations I've seen of him. So if you think he's actually, at his core, a serious, formal, emotionally detached and unbearably professional, even outside work hours, guy who's deeply dedicated to the honorable task of murder and who is in good terms with the shi association or holds them in high regard? sorry, but for me he's nothing like that.

2.1- The surface

"But Spec", you may say again, "he does act emotionally detached during his cutscene, he even says that people die all the time! are you sure you are actually reading this character right?"

Of course I'm not, I'm just saying that I'm reading him in a way that makes enough sense to me, but I do have reasons to believe that the serious and emotionally detached attitude is an akward mixture of a facade he puts up to be taken seriously by others and an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, so let's start by analyzing his artbook profile...

Wait a minute, is that..?

Ok, I'll see myself out and continue writing the actual character analysis this is what people are here for.

Anyway, going back to the character profile, you may be inclined to see it and assume "well, that actually just proves that he's a serious and formal dude" at first, until you realize that artbook profiles, due to their in-universe explaination being that they were compilled by roland and angela from the information they could take out of the guests' books, are most likely to be about what the guests perceive themselves as/would say to describe themselves rather than what they actually are when looked at from an outsider's perspective. Further proof of the artbook profiles being subjective comes from how the profiles change almost erratically for distortions and ego users, with people in the middle of both states simply not knowing how to describe themselves, the fact that we lack any information about the agents of the head as they were never booked, or how characters such as tomerry have...

This, which I mean, it's very clear that's just tomerry talking about themselves.

Now, liwei's personality traits, or at least what he'd use to describe himself, are "Meticulous, Efficient, and Sharp". We know that he has to be efficient at the very least, considering the nature of his job and guns in universe, the same thing goes for meticulous, we can assume he wants to do things the right away so that he gets paid, sharp as a personality descriptor can take multiple meanings and frankly i don't know which was the original korean word used to describe him so i can't tell which is the right one but most of them seem pretty accurate, at least when looking at him from a surface perspective.

To be honest, I don't think any of the traits mentioned there is precisely wrong, I simply don't think that they are the main or core ones, but they are the traits liwei tries to show, at least.

Another interesting detail is that all full stop fixer artbook profiles have food related items for the likes and and dislikes sections, except for stephan disliking dangerous jobs.

Not particularly noteworthy for this category in particular but still tangentially linked to a point that I believe is also a core characteristic of all three full stop fixers and that is key to understand all three of them, their dynamics and the choices they make during their reception: they are Poor As Shit, because guns and bullets are expensive of course, we also get to see this in stephan's obssesive fixation in money (come on nobody actually checks their bank account as a hobby... right, guys?), and of course this ties in with wanting to be seen as someone serious and professional people will trust with their money AND with the idea of them having the need to maximize efficiency to... well... you... you know... not end up even worse than they actually are.

2.2- Emotional internal nature

Alright, and here we dwell into the actually spicy part of the essay, at least for liwei's character: the moments in which the mask of a professional and emotionally detached guy cracks and he shows his more emotional, and mostly caring, side. This is focused in the way in which he treats stephan and tamaki (compared with how several other faction leaders treat their underlings).

While I should probably need to read all the dialogue in the game to make sure this is a particularly notorious detail, something that inmediately caught my attention is... the fact that liwei never uses a single honorific when refering to other people, neither he's bothered by stephan's more informal speech and the fact that he doesn't refer to him by any honorific or title either (sure, you could say this is because they were in a life or death situation but also y'know, it says something about you that the people below you don't feel the need to use formalities when talking to you), the only person he calls by title instead of first name is... well, the blue reverb, whose real name we can assume he didn't know, with also him being someone perfectly capable of killing not only him but the guys standing beside him as well, you'd want to be as respectful as possible when talking to a guy like that and trying to negotiate.

(even then he doesnt use any sort of honorific towards him, at least in the english translation of the text, he simply refers to him by title)

He neither uses any title or honorific when talking to angela, despite keeping a formal/respectful attitude, i honestly believe that he is genuinely formal and respectful but... you know, that's not the beginning and end of who he is.

Of course, this isn't a major point, but I think it's worth mentioning considering how important honorifics can be to establish the speaker's relationship with the people a message is directed to, they can be used to distance oneself from others. So in a way it could be seen as him putting himself at an "equal" position relative to stephan and tamaki, as opposed to trying to assert that he's their superior (at least in the context of the mission they were working in, since his title is merely fixer, not operator, president, director or anything implying some form of leadership on his end).

Another extremely important detail is his inmediate first reaction once argalia shows up and ruins their plan is... not coming up with a plan b, not trying to fight him in any way, not doing anything about trying to save what little money they can, he quite literally tells stephan "forget about money, we need to survive now".

His initial reaction is directly just yelling at his team to run away, and this stays consistent once he:

Notices that stephan and tamaki are beginning to argue over the future of their mission and how much money they lost.

Realizes that they can't outrun argalia as long as they're wielding their heavy (and again, extremely expensive) equipment. This says a lot as it shows that he cares enough for the people under his care to let the office go bankrupt if it means they can live.

Needless to say, stephan and tamaki refuse to do so and while he clearly isn't precisely happy about the inevitable confrontation with argalia, he doesn't argue about this, he does understand their concern about money, he's not like the other authority figures who will ignore their underlings' concerns at best and ditch them once they outlive their usefulness at worst (at least, that's what i imagine he thinks as he makes these choices).

Not to mention, once they are in a, if only slightly, safer situation in the library, his inmediate response is trying to comfort stephan and tamaki, things dont look good but theyre at least alive, for now.

And there's this line which... doesn't seem to fit at first glance with the idea of him wanting his office to survive at all costs... right?

That is until you realize that he says that line during yet another argument between stephan and tamaki, as an attempt to get them both to calm down, this could also fit in with him trying to keep or restore the cynical, stoic and serious act, but then again we get to see his more emotional and sincere side once he:

Gets killed, quite literally saying that he didn't want to die yet, at least to me this line alone is enough to pretty much confirm that he didn't really mean it when saying that trying to delay their deaths was pointless, but if you need more, he also acts against that same line when he...

Sees his allies die, and inmediately starts freaking out.

Wins the reception, in which case his inmediate first concern is, again, not money, lost ammunition or anything, but rather if stephan and tamaki are okay and if they will be safe once they return.

I don't think that line was him fully lying though, it does say something about him that makes enough sense to me and fits with the rest of the characterization: that his cynism runs much, much deeper than stephan's.

Tl;dr he is extremely caring and emotional deep inside, and even though he tries to suppress that side of himself it always finds a way to show itself, I feel like in other contexts this makes him prone to emotional outbursts and generally make him an unpleasant person to be around... save for people who are already familiar with his personality quirks and the fact that he is Like That.

2.3- Resentment

Of course, this dissonance between the person he tries to pretend to be to fit in/keep his job and the person he actually is made him grow a pretty strong disliking of... well, everything he considers related to the fact that he has to act like that to get enough money to feed the people in his office.

I also feel like he feels genuine guilt over the fact that his job is essentially just glorified murder, I have no base for this other than the more detached way in which he refers to the church of gears, it almost feels like hes forcing himself to not care because its them or him and his office, and that he has genuine self-hating tendencies because of it (which he also uses his stoic act to hide, he doesn't want to worry his office and become a burden to them, after all), in a way he may be trying to overcompensate by being nice to his office to feel like there's people he can help/protect.

But this hatred towards himself also manifests in the form of hatred towards anything he can blame over him being the way he is and working the job he has.

As I said before, I don't think liwei likes colors, or most high grade fixers for that matter, you may also extend this to figures of authority, influential organizations or even the city's society as a whole (and honestly? i do personally, i don't think he's actually capable of forming any particularly healthy bond with people outside his office because of this, and even then saying that the relationships he has with his office are healthy is... generous to put it softly, this is not to say that he secretly hates the other people in the office, but rather that he fears that they may secretly hate him, because he's the highest graded member of the office, he hates people sitting above him so it only makes sense that people below him hate him for being above them, right?), and of course I'm not saying this because I'm projecting or because I think it's cool and edgy and sad but I actually have bases for this from what I can see in the game.

The first example of him not trusting high grade fixers AND influential organizations being one of the very first things he says when being introduced: that having an important person, from an important organization, belonging to an important section of said organization, approach him and give him a request was shady as fuck.

And he turned out to be right, as Yujin was planning for him and his office to get sent to the library and die there so she could read their books and find some passage saying shit like "well we were found by the blue fucking reverb and our only choice was to come here and die even though we were royally fucked either way life sucks see you all in hell my final message 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕" so she could use that on her favor.

In this topic too, I'm personally firmly opposed to the idea of full-stop office being affiliated to the shi association and this is the hill i'm willing to die on, but I digress.

We see this same resentment on an even deeper level in his keypage where he talks about colors (and we can assume this view extends to other high graded fixers, and to a lesser extent to the hana association), he doesn't sound like he wants to become a color, he doesn't sound like he even likes the concept of colors being a thing that exists in the first place.

The most important lines from these fragments to me being the following:

"A color is the dream [...] of all fixers who wish for freedom.", freedom is a VERY relevant concept in project moon and ruina makes a very clear point about how nobody is free in the city, roland says it, most plot relevant guests say it, some patron librarians say it too... a huge part of the story is how angela comes to terms to the fact that turning human wont grant her freedom and how she ultimately becomes free by embracing her nature as a machine (so free indeed that the head decides to kick her and the entire library out of the city, not only shes a machine that acts like a human, which is already a major city wide taboo, she made a choice that no human in the city should ever make). Essentially, liwei seems to see colors (and im assuming that by extension high graded fixers) as the ultimate example of an impossible aspirational class (think of these "self made" enterpreurs who received extremely generous financial support from their rich parents to start massive companies as the closest irl equivalent, except that obviously not the same, i will elaborate more on this later).

"They put forward the colors as great and successful people that other fixers will look up to. They dream of earning wealth and fame, and to be free like them one day." Why would he be talking in third person here if he too admired colors, or wanted to be like them, or thought that were free in any way? Also that separation between money and fame (something that colors objectively do have since they can afford exclusive high tech weapons and armor) with freedom (something that is debatable, but liwei seems to assume colors don't have) feels too much like a deliberate choice to further push towards that point of him seeing colors as not only an impossible goal to achieve for the average fixer but also that the ideal of a color as someone who is free is something impossible to achieve even if one were to become a color.

"Colors are assigned by the 'Hana Association'. [...] The title of a color is forcibly given to fixers who qualify essentially. Can a fixer be truly happy with freedom that was forcefully handed to them?" This particular fragment, specially the last sentence, is absolutely key for Liwei's characterization, and the final and most important part of him saying "wait, no, colors aren't free, because nobody is" to me. It is also worth noting that this fragment can be read in multiple ways, all of them are important and accurate for his characterization.

He thinks that the responsability and risks that come with being handed the title of a color are far greater than the prestige that comes with the title, can you really say that someone who cant afford to decline requests due to being contacted by the most important organizations in the city, whose closest friends or family WILL be regularly targetted by rivals either to extort them for money or just try to attack them to the point in which most high graded fixers abandon any personal attachment to others, who will have to see the horrible things that happen in the city in an almost day-to-day basis and will likely have to do even worse things in the name of corporate interests is free? Can you really call it freedom if you can't refuse it? Essentially he is saying "actually every single aspect of being a color is terrible and to make matters worse that life is forced on them after they go through extreme miseries in the hopes for a better life but all they get is more of the same if not even worse, they aren't free and shouldn't be refered to as such."

He thinks that in order to become a color (or any highly graded fixer, really), you must essentially lose yourself, which is to say abandoning all friendships or familiar bonds, only keeping shallow interactions with people, desensitizing themselves to whatever horrifying shit they may have to see, abandon all sense of morality as they never know what their next request will be and "im sorry but i dont do xyz, it does against my personal morals" isnt an argument that will work in a place like the city, this also fits into the whole "actually having a much more chaotic emotional side he's trying his absolute hardest to supress but failing" theme mentioned in point 2.2., someone who is so deeply emotional and whose actions are ultimately defined by what is the most likely to keep the people around him alive is obviously not going to like the idea of keeping his distance to them, or to dispose of people with lower grades than him because they were supposed to be expendables anyway.

I don't remember the exact quote and i dont feel like looking for it but in one of gebura's cutscene she claims that all power in the city only serves to strike those below but never up. You have to climb to get stronger and then you'll only be able to assert dominance (through violence) over people weaker than you are, and she grew to dislike this, as she wanted to protect others but was never able to do so because of how the city was dessigned.

Of course, liwei reached the same conclusion but he took the much simpler but much more unhealthy approach of assuming "well, if things are like that, then that must mean that everyone in a position of power (over me) must be responsible for this".

Of course this also comes with the side effect of him being as caring for the rest of the office as he can because he doesn't want to be like other figures of authority as i mentioned in point 2.2, but thats not to mean that things are all fine in the office, i feel like there are several moments in which he internally curses his position of authority but not quite (bc i don't think he's actually The Big Guy In Charge of the office, really), most obviously the aforementioned moment in which he yells at tamaki and stephan to drop their guns so they can run away and live when they clearly dont want to, i feel like at moments like that he feels like they only do things because he tells them to and they "can't argue" (except that they do, fortunately for him the enviroment in the office is healthy enough for the rest of full stops to not abuse this fact, but the "what if"s are absolutely eating him from the inside). As ironic as it sounds his earnest desire to not be Like The Others is the same thing stopping him from being the perfect and efficient leader he wishes to be, and he probably isn't sure of which thing he values more than the other (it's staying true to his own morals and keeping the people under him safe).

However, there's a key detail here that's worth noting: liwei has a tendency to treat everyone else as equals, sure he is formal and respectful when doing so (pressumably even when talking to people he'd rather never interact with if we assume his conversation with argalia was actually how he is and not him just walking on eggshells to not get killed) but he doesn't bother trying to make a clear distinction of who is above and below him, no matter what their title and rank may be, and for people who are used to being looked up to by everyone else this will be seen this as him insulting them in some way, it may come from a sincere desire of him to come off as insulting while not breaking any (major) social convention in an act of malicious compliance or just the type of person he is, that's up to you to determine.

"But how the hell does any of this relate to dong hwan?" we'll get there right now.

3.- Dong Hwan as a character

This is kinda... the hardest point to talk about, because sure I can yap all I want about him but... it's hard to without going "Source: I made it up" too much.

So, looking at his combat sprites you may notice one thing: he is unbelievably hot for real what the hell he has an incredibly smug aura, most people who care about him to some extent i've seen tend to depict him as a very prideful person, and honestly i dont think differently either.

HOWEVER, i feel like despite this he's still a levelheaded guy who can aknowledge his own flaws. On top of that, i think he's a pretty charismatic guy and he's capable of noticing other people's strenghts, and he'll let people know about their own strenghts too.

Also, to contrast with his smug and cheerful exterior, his combat lines depict him as someone very serious when at work, he doesn't even react emotionally to getting killed.

His first "on kill" line is also particularly interesting, as it shows that he prefers to work on his own (unlike everyone's favorite monochrome moody boy), which makes sense considering that he comes alone to the library when you fight him, he may belong to a one-man office (which is the closest a fixer can do to be fully independent, as far as we are aware).

His keypage story also fits this more serious and analytical personality but not much of it is particularly noteworthy from a character analysis perspective, it doesn't say much that you couldn't notice from his combat lines anyway.

Another important factor to me and to contrast him to liwei is... okay, this may be the fact that he's a solo fight and he is, pressumably, an independent fixer, so he's not titled as a member of a particular organization, instead his title (for him, his reception, his keypage and his book) is "dong hwan, the grade 1 fixer", which i mean, again, is most likely just so we dont fight this guy with zero context on who he is and what hes even doing in the library in his own is he stupid? but i like to imagine that the in universe explaination is that he has tied his perception of himself and his own self worth to his grade, to the point in which using both his name and grade is what comes naturally to him when introducing himself, since books are essentially physical manifestations of the soul, then it just makes sense then that his book will give both his name and grade the same importance. This may come from a need to compensate for something else and i actually like to imagine that's the case because it adds yet another layer of parallels with liwei (source: trust me).

Another point is... remember that I mentioned how food was a very consistent thing in the full stops' likes and dislikes sections in the artbook? this point is also not relevant but dong hwan is frequently assumed to be the owner of that pub that shows up at that short side story about roland and angelica which i never watched because i Literally Can Not Care about angelica sorry, but, hey, it's a cute detail, i think he should cook for the full stops.

I feel like there's something to be said about dh's red eyes because in pjm when a character has red eyes you know that means one thing: they will be a big deal, but dong hwan, other than looking incredibly fucking cool and carrying me through the snow queen suppression (FUCK THE SNOW QUEEN ALL MY HOMIES HATE SNOW QUEEN) and star of the city tier 1 (thank you dong hwan i love you dong hwan)… he is rather unremarkable on the grand scheme of things, he's a general reception so you don't even need to defeat him to beat the game, and he only serves to give us some insight on who the fuck was the vermillion cross, and even then he does a terrible job at explaining who he was other than "well, he was a guy i guess" and honestly, the relevance of both liwei and dong hwan is ALSO an important factor in these parallels, as with one being the guy who introduces the concept of colors and the other being the guy who introduces one particular color fixer by casually mentioning being friends with him, both feel like characters who would be much more narratively important in any other story, but here they... aren't.

4.- Summarizing Parallels

Aka the part you may want to skip to if you don't care about me analyzing characters with little background info about them.

So, basically a list of personality (and background, i guess) traits they have in common and how they're different:

Both characters are putting some sort of facade, with liwei trying to act serious and stoic so he's taken seriously while dong hwan... i dont think he even knows what the facade he's putting even is, he's been putting an act for so long that his mask became his true self

In both characters' cases, the first impression they give isn't really the kind of person they truly are (in lw's case this is a deliberate choice and in dh's case i assume that's just the type of person he is), HOWEVER, while liwei acts serious and analytical (and to some extent he is), his true self is far more emotional and prone to form deep bonds with people, while dong hwan has a more passionate, smug and cheerful external attitude but he's much more serious and levelheaded deep down

Both characters have different, conflicting views about their grades, however these differences ultimately lead to both of them being able to treat each other as equals, or as close to that as possible in the city, i feel like liwei can see dong hwan as someone of worth so to speak for reasons unrelated to his grade, while dong hwan does see liwei as a good person (well, good is a subjective term specially in a place like the city) and far better at teamwork than most people in the city, in a way both value something in the other that the other never stopped to consider "hey this is actually a good thing i have"

Both characters are (pressumably?) trying to compensate over something, with liwei putting his professional and formal act to compensate for his sentimental self while dong hwan puts a strong emphasis on his high grade for... who knows, really, i just like this parallel being there because i think it adds a lot

Both have problems forming relationships, with liwei being a generally unpleasant person but being capable of forming deep, meaningful relationships with the people capable of seeing through it, while dong hwan is a charismatic guy liked by almost everyone he's met, but whose relationships tend to be shallow

Not really a personality thing but both characters have a thing for being remarkably unremarkable guys, dong hwan is obviously forgotten by most ruina playes because he's a general reception and the biggest impression liwei leaves in most players is "OH SHIT HE HAS A GUN", even though both are pretty intentionally dessigned with the intention of making them look cool however ive very rarely come across full stop or liwei fans (by which i mean people who like them particularly instead of "actually the entire pjm cast is cool and that includes them) and dong hwan fans are.... yeah, i think ive met like, 4 of them at most (thanks guys i owe you my life)

Something about their combat styles including their passives, liwei's only visible passive is called Concentration and gives him extra strenght for the first turn of a fight, after which he relies in the fact that his attacks weaken the enemy, so he comes off as the sort of guy who prefers to keep his distance and figure out the opponent's weak spot(s) (something he canonically is good at doing) to keep an upper hand at combat, however despite this he's still lacking in both strenght and technique, being only a grade 4 (which i mean let's be real the grades go from 9 to 1 and i feel like a majority of fixers are in the lower grades so he's still pretty much above average but he isnt doing all the cool shit you see the stronger characters do, because that's not the kind of character he is). On the other hand dong hwan's passives have much more cooler sounding names (Fervor, Carver of Scars, Toughness...), all of them focused on either inflicting bleed (status ailment that gradually makes the opponent lose hp)/buffing him against enemies with bleed or buffing him as he gains emotion levels, and his focus is just inflicting bleed like crazy, as well as delivering harder blows against people with bleed, prioritizing raw damage over strategy (but likely being able to figure out an opponent's weaknesses as well, brute strenght alone are most likely not enough to get you far in a world where the powerful people are INSANELY strong bc physical enhancements are commonplace)

I feel like in a way both admire each other, liwei admires dong hwan's capacity to keep a cool head at all times when at work and not letting his feelings have too much weight over his desicions, but dong hwan admires how honest liwei is about himself as well as his capacity to work in a team taking in consideration what will be best for the team as a whole even if it's perjudicial for him in particular.

In Conclusion

Your honor, two of them

#library of ruina #anon #spec-reply #this isnt probably very coherent #and probably not very exhaustive either #but i started writing this 10 hours ago and ive only stopped to eat and i barely proofread this anyway here you go anon #.🔫#🩸🔪

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beardedjoel · 8 days ago

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Julie, I know you've been on this website for a minute (I feel like that sounds shady but I swear it's not lmao) and I was wondering like as someone whose been writing for this specific fandom for a sec, do you feel like it is as bad as its ever been recently? Do you have any hope things will rebound or does it seem hopeless on Tumblr?

The reason I'm specifically asking you this question is because there's a handful of Joel writers who I discovered around the same time, you included, and like truly legitimately 40% of them are gone now and you're one of the ones I originally discovered who still remain haha. I've been sad because this place has been an escape for me and it feels like it is falling apart. I miss the people who've left which I know sounds so fucking weird because they're not my friends personally but their blogs spread a lot of joy and fun. I don't get to be this horny IRL, I have religious trauma this place helps me combat, like it feels like I'm watching something fade that has helped me on a much deeper level than just getting off haha.

I originally started reading fics cause I played TLOU 1 a million times and I loved the first season of the show, I was so grateful to discover Pedro's work afterward and he's like one of the only celebrities I think is not completely bonkers. I adore everything he stands for as a person. And his fandom on this site MOSTLY at least I feel like is comprised of good people who are drawn to this performer's characters because there is a lot of heart put forth that resonates for all of us. Then there are the anonymous assholes who've ruined things. Many writers I love have left these past six months and I really hope they come back one day. This sounds dramatic but it just sucks. I hope you never leave. <3

hi anon, sorry i sat on this message for a bit. i had a busy last week or so. i'll put this under a cut since i wanted to answer your long message with a long message!

i will say that i feel a lot of the same way about being sad regarding the state of things on here. it's tough to find an escape that you enjoy and watch the fun get sucked out of it. that's a lot of what happened on here for sure. and to be honest, i do think that it's relatively the worst i've seen it since i got involved with posting writing on here. the morale is at a very low point, and people are nastier than ever in recent months with anons and entitlement and stuff. so i don't want to sugar coat it when i say that yeah it's pretty much the worst i've seen it these last few months. i'm not really sure what the future will hold but i unfortunately haven't seen too much improvement on that front so it's hard to say. and also with the rumors about tumblr going down the shitter, it kind of adds to that hopeless feeling of wondering if things could get to a more positive place again.

it's also not weird at all to miss people who have left because i feel that same way! it's not necessarily bc you had to be close friends or anything, but more just the vibe, positivity, or contribution they made to the fandom that leaves a little hole if they leave. lots of awesome people have left and like you said, there are plenty of kind people here still trying to participate in the fandom and actually care about pedro and his works and i do love to see that! i am maybe a naïve optimist but i do hope to see things get better around here, even if i'm skeptical about it. i'm sorry it's affected you so much too, it's rough. i don't have plans to leave even if my passion for this whole thing has dwindled some, i just can't say how much my involvement will always be given my own personal stuff and the state of things on here, but i am trying to write still so there is that! thank you for the support of my writing and blog too, i really appreciate it 💗

#ask

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thehangerson · 5 months ago

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OKAY here is my explanation for spamreblogging from you and also @/flashsidewayss (who i couln't find asks for or i would not send a weird joint ask) i read all of both of your psych fic bc that show makes me feel insane and it is like. no one else is doing it like you. also ive been listening to the playlist for ceceverse and like. we need the annotated version. anyway im approaching character limit and also realizing this is deranged and unintelligable but the gist is. i appreciate your contri

HELLO. many months later here is the annotated ceceverse playlist!!!

im gonna put a text break bc this will be LONG. sorry. purple text is stuff @flashsidewayss had to say. this will justbe some misc. notes and thoughts on the songs and some will have lyrics that i associate etc. hope u enjoy

Cecilia - Simon & Garfunkel

DUHHH!!! it’s THE ceceverse song. shawn named her after this song

The Room Is Filled With People That Love You - Foresight

this is one of my favs. fantastic song first of all but also SO ceceverse. like. life’s a precious thing!

Seven - Sleeping At Last

seven by sal you mean the most shawn song in the world. no lyrics to mention here bc. Well. all of them.

the enneagram songs are @thatchedrooftavern’s domain and he agrees that this is a major shawn song

"let me tell you another secret of the trade: it feels like sinking when i'm standing in one place" and the farewell and welcome home parade bit

Growing Pains - COIN

again. deeply a shawn song.

This song is a little applicable to shawn just in general and also shawn and gus’ relationship which is one of the like. Pillars of this au.

Six - Sleeping At Last

another @thatchedrooftavern song, more of a gus song

"when everything feels heavy, I've learned to travel light" its the struggle of being around for those you love while also meeting your needs for activity and adventure

Vines - Hippo Campus

Big fan of this album! Some lyrics to mention would be “Failed by design, slow your pace down to mine / Watch my back, heave a sigh / Keep it safe, make it right”

10 Steps - Christian Leave

I can’t really find the words for my thoughts on this song, but the chorus is sort of just about how people can change so much during such time, and what you want with your life could be completely different from what it started as

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

sorry about this one! self-explainable i think

Seventeen Going Under - Sam Fender

shawn spencer… yeah

with that relationship with his father? please. no notes

Sparks - Coldplay

this song is supposedly about romantic love but its very applicable to a parent-child relationship i feel

“But I promise you this / I'll always look out for you / Yeah, that's what I'll do” etc etc

Nine Lives - Odie Leigh

“Cats have nine lives, I have two / I live one for me, and one for you”

the annotation on genius.com for this first verse is this, “At minimum, I live for both of us but, preferably, I will fade into what I can be for you, an extension of you. I am the pencil you hold, the car you drive, the phone you stare at. It’s intoxicating to exist within other people. It’s hardly “sacrificing” myself to this person, but being able to hide within them.”

Together - The Raconteurs

for me this is The shawngus ceceverse song.

another album i love. @flashsidewayss once had to loan me $9 so i could buy the cd. no specific lyrics to mention.

The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH

^get help. in all seriousness yeah. ceceverse ass song. in the literal sense im pretty sure we’ve mentioned in a few published fics about how cece is a big reader, and they do lots of reading together despite shawn not being one.

Rain - Bishop Allen

if its ever gonna get any better its gotta get worse for a day!

Coming of Age - Foster The People

lots of lyrics to mention here…. “You know I try to live without regrets/I'm always moving forward and not looking back/But I tend to leave a trail of dead while I'm moving ahead”

“I seem to hurt the people that care the most” etc etc “And even when I'm wrong, I tend to think I'm right”

Clay Pigeons - Michael Cera

deeply ceceverse vibes

have an attachment to this song spanning back to an older fic named after it… the third verse in specific

“I'm tired of runnin' 'round lookin' for answers to questions that I already know/I could build me a castle of memories just to have somewhere to go/Count the days and the nights that it takes to get back in the saddle again…”

Way It Goes - Hippo Campus

and so we return to this album… there's a lot we can’t control but lord knows we’re trying huh

A World Alone - Lorde

this song is quite a ceceverse song and also quite a shawngus song in general. something something finding peace in someone who understands you fully and loves you

You Make Loving Fun - Fleetwood Mac

an og ceceverse song! i listened to this song a lot right when i was first dreaming up this au. this song is super cece and shawn and also a little shules tbh i think its on my shules playlist also

The Gold - Manchester Orchestra, Phoebe Bridgers

second verse here… shawn ceceverse to me

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

yeah. “Can the child within my heart rise above?/Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?/Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

i also listened to this song a lot while writing this fic

Ahora Te Puedes Marchar - Luis Miguel

this one is just fun idk. a fun interlude

A Complete List of Fears Ages 5-28 (aprox) - The Yellow Dress

this song has always to me felt very much like a song you’d sing to a child to make them laugh. The chorus is so silly but closing it with “Oh, but mainly losing you/These days, mainly losing you” is. well. yeah

the repeated assurances that things will always be okay, even if bad things happen

More Like You - Orla Gartland

this song is far more applicable to things we haven’t posted, and more applies to cece as she gets older. her dad is her best friend, and she wants to be just like him when she grows up

100 Strangers - Circa Waves

this whole song is very shawn ceceverse

Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

i could write a LOT about this song however. a specific to mention is that the bridge most likely refers to when Stevie Nicks married her late friend’s husband to help him raise his child. their marriage wasn’t long because they weren’t in love exactly but they both loved the child, which was enough at the time

Caught in the Middle - Paramore

the bridge in this one. etc. a shawn song

For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her - Simon & Garfunkel

AUHGHGHGHHGHGHGH

apparently Paul Simon has said that this song isn’t about a real person, but about more of a belief.

Green Light - Lorde

i think a lot about how the color green isn’t representing a negative in this song, but is more representing like a fresh start and something new

All My Little Words - The Magnetic Fields

AUHGUFGHUFDGHKDFGJFDSLJDFSKDLG

this song is here as more of a reference to shawn’s feelings on his own relationship with his father irt his relationship with his daughter. i don’t know how much we’ve written about this in posted fics but he does have a deep at the very least subconscious fear that he will lose his kid the same way his father “lost” him. i have more to say on this if anyone wants to hear it

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

“So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep” this line specifically we thought about a lot when writing this one for obvious reasons

“And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day/And something reminds you you wish you had stayed/You can plan for a change in the weather and time/But I never planned on you changing your mind”

this song is here in reference to shawn and gus obviously. gus has really conflicted feelings about the years shawn spent away especially in this au, which we dig into a little in that fic and a few others

Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift

self-explanatory i feel

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

just like. i dont know. really really loving someone that you would do anything for them, no matter what. this song is also a little about loving people who have a hard time loving themselves so read into that if you wish

August (Acoustic) - flipturn

August regular is SO psych. August (acoustic) is SO ceceverse

Pluto - Sleeping At Last

insert pluto joke here. this song is here as a reference to shawn realizing that. it takes a village and the people around him are there to help and he should let them

Clean Slate - The Mountain Goats

move on and move out, yk? a very shawn song i think

The Wolf - The Crane Wives

sent to me by the lovely @thatchedrooftavern

shawngus lowkey. “can it be easy for once?/'Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself/Or anyone”

“I am a falling axe/I am a sharpened knife/I am a poison asp/I am a risk to your life”

Daydreamer - The Crane Wives

this song is a lot about like. societal norms and expectations

“How many times can someone start again?”

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For - U2

Like why would you say this to me

generally a very shawn song

A Month Or Two - Odie Leigh

idk. give it some time!

long story short - Taylor Swift

probably a little shawngus. also shawn and cece generally. the chorus etc

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

the whole song. what a special girl :)

#feep answers #ceceverse

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