#put it under a readmore but it might fuck up on mobile

[catgirlcrisis]

OKAY so I love giving people the opportunity to talk about their interests and I know NOTHING about Arknights (apart from it being probably post apocalyptic. But I could be wrong!)

So! Tell me about what Arknights is about! What do you like about it? What turned it into one of your interests (if you know why)?

YIPPEEE!!! this might be a long one so ill throw in a readmore if it gets too lengthy. (FUTURE warning: it did become extremely lengthy, so i am putting it under a readmore. its a gigantic wall of several paragraphs of text, so proceed with caution, or don't proceed at all. its very spooky down there.)

the basic gist of arknights is that it is a mobile tower defense gacha. the story is about a post-apocalyptic, dystopian world full of several different races which all boil down to "Human, But With [animal trait]" and it gets a tad more complex than that, because in-universe gods and youkai and such exist (as do angels! and...whatever sarkaz classify as, but include demon-like characters and vampires??). also, there is rock cancer! it's called oripathy, named after some Real Mineral Rock known as originium (in-universe, its not real in Real Life!) that people use all the time. its a 1:1 to energy sources we use in the real world, like coal or oil: efficient, dependable, but not very "clean" and can make people very sick.

also, it grows. the rock cancer is a sentient, living thing. it's a blood infection, so it works sort of like HIV/AIDS does; as the disease progresses, the patient's life quality generally worsens (without treatment), there's no cure, the only treatments slow it or consist of supportive care, and it's terminal. oripathy is also an intended 1:1 metaphor - or rather, the patients who have oripathy are intended as a metaphor for...well, it's not very clear what, specifically. generally, individuals with oripathy (referred to as "Infected") substitute in marginalized groups of all kinds. and the disease itself isn't an exact 1:1 with HIV/AIDS, since it spreads through inhalation of contaminated airspace, and anyone who dies with it kinda...explodes? not really, somewhat, their corpses disperse oripathy "spores" into the air. it's implied that just being in a space where originium is present already poses a risk for air contamination and oripathy spread (since Franka, after having broken air filtration gear, managed to catch oripathy. it comes up in the BSW manga as a flashback for why she's infected in the first place).

while arknights is a fun tower defense game that's also just a biiiit predatory on the side (gotta make money somehow, i guess, and also its Technically The Most Generous Predator But A Wolf Is Still A Wolf, Right?), it's also a geopolitical commentary on several happenings in real life, sort of. arknights makes a lot of takes about colonialism and imperialism, and their lasting effects on generations of families; e.g., Blue Poision talks to Indigo about how her family suffered from being caught and enslaved for their inherent trait of having poisonous saliva, there was an entire new event about the Aegir (a race of lovecraftian-ish seafolk that live underwater, or are supposed to, but some live on land) being continuously hunted by the Spanish Inquisition (since that's Lumen's backstory, sorta, i didnt finish the event OTL), there's the entire country of Kazdel, populated by the Sarkaz - a species who is most susceptible to oripathy - which has a tumultuous history and the Angel country of Laterano is at least partially responsible for constantly undermining its ability to grow or move forward, etc. there was a pretty blatant line about colonialism in the event Under Tides, actually. arknights does not fuck around when it comes to making critical commentary!

it also criticizes capitalism. like, a lot. pretty blatantly. there's three entire events that take place in Kazimierz (equivalent of Poland - put a pin in this, i'll get back to it in a second), which is a country seemingly ruled by its chamber of commerce. besides a lot of the characters in the Kazimierz events (Maria Nearl, Pinus Sylvestris, and Near Light) going "it's really weird that the chamber of commerce appears to be in charge of making a lot of federal decisions around here!", there's constant undertones of how capitalistic greed survives off of punishing working class folk and how deeply it can permeate society. in those events, we learn about Kazimierz's biggest Tradition known as the Major. it's a competition where a bunch of people get together and fight each other for knighthood; the sole winner gets an actual title ("The ____ Knight" - canon examples include the Blood Knight, the Candle Knight, etc, and titles typically reference the champion's abilities and such), its all the craze, etc. except that the chamber of commerce oversees the event and is fucking hellbent on following a very specific method: introduce a new winner, let them win maybe 1-2 more times, then cycle them out. keep the hype fresh, encourage your populace to continuously produce ridiculous merch or gamble on their favorites winning, score! everybody wins! usually the champions will give up on re-entering the major for Brand Deals, but if they don't, then the chamber of commerce intervenes. By Force. like, Lethal Force. like, "Alright, buddy, we've had enough. Now we're employing our mega assassins to go after you. Fuck you."

the chamber even does this to discourage certain people from winning, it seems, and that's not even touching on how hard they've tried to gatekeep infected people from entering; maria nearl, in her event, and her sister margaret nearl, are both hunted down and nearly killed in the arena for their respective competitions. it's Fucked Up. Isn't that fucked up? Doesn't capitalism make us do crazy fucked up things, like kill people? Yeah it does. anyway, wanna buy some stuff for our game? :D

oh yeah. people also have magic in this universe. its called Arts! a lot of people can have Arts, but not everyone has Arts. there's no specific terminology for who does/doesn't have arts; either you do or you don't. not everyone can wield it without some sort of aid, though, so some people (typically non-infected people) use what are called arts casting devices or arts units to use ~Their Magic~. these can really be anything; they don't necessarily have to be staffs or wands. infected people have an increased aptitude for arts, though, in that they can practice their Magick without any sort of need for a casting unit and their magic is usually stronger, enhanced by their infection. the downside is that the more they use arts, the worse the progression of the disease gets, so using it too much or too frequently can wear out a user and worsen the severity of their oripathy. the magick is also susceptible to being influenced by emotion (Ifrit is a notable example of this - she's an infected kid who has anger issues, and has fire-based arts, and you can imagine where this is going. also, her oripathy is extremely advanced since she was like, a human test subject, so her arts unit is a Fucking Flamethrower!).

digressing here to make a note about weaponry: do guns exist in arknights? yes, sort of. they don't use gunpowder and instead contain a mini arts unit that can fire bullets, so using guns = using magic, and not everyone can do that either. the most skilled at using guns are, ironically, the angel race Sankta, and they are absolute gun fanatics. nobody really knows why (yet), but their religion says its okay. what is NOT okay is for them to shoot, injure, or kill each other with their state-sanctioned guns, and doing so will cause you to become a fallen angel, and blah blah blah. guns are also weaker than the preferred ranged weapon: crossbows! its implied that those who typically use guns and are also the best at it are sankta, so everyone just kinda leaves them be, but the best gun is inferior to the best crossbow. its weird to think about...

oh yeah, about the Kazimierz-Poland thing: arknights has earth-equivalent countries in its own universe, sort of. heres a map! the uncolored space is not water; only the dark blue is.

rapid fire: -Bolivar is...latin-america. like, all together. (sigh) -Iberia is spain! -Sargon is a mishmash of SWANA countries, and just a general "Africa." (sigh) -Rim Billiton is australia -Victoria is England, with no separation of North Ireland. sorry irish people -Kjerag is... um... Scandinavia? i think. -Leithanien is supposed to be a austria-hungary counterpart specifically, with switzerland mixed in, or like, some german states or something. -ursus is GREAT MOTHERLAND RUSSIA -yen is China! its notable setting is the city-state of Lungmen, where a lot of the story takes place, and Lungmen itself is thought to be a Hong Kong equivalent. -higashi, likewise, is japan! -columbia is supposed to be a US standin -Siracusa is ITALIA -Kazdel.... according to gamepress, is modelled off of the War of the Austrian Succession. some people say its the balkan countries equivalent of terra. -Laterano is the vatican city! the pope lives there. -Minos is Greece, that's easy. -Sami....is something we know almost nothing about. seemingly based off the Scandivanian Sami population, its really cold, and thats it. -Honestly i have no fucking idea what siesta is. i think it's just a siracusan island and gets its own designation because one of the first arknights events took place there. there's a nifty video that delves more into specifics here! anyway, we would be here all week if i talked any more about arknights, so i'll cut myself off there for now. i'll be happy to field any further questions (if you're interested). do i recommend playing it? no; i don't feel it's in good faith to recommend anyone a gacha game, no matter how F2P friendly it is. but is it good? yeah. without flaws, no, but nothing is. it's more diverse than genshin impact, so... anyway, thanks for indulging me :3

[shorkbrian]

We’re on mobile again lads, too tired to commit to getting my laptop out. Shoutout to the anon that taught me how to do the readmore thing on mobile ty.

Anyways, Bakugou and Kirishima being professional Creeps

(Warnings - dead dove, do not eat. NSFW, graphic rape. Disassociation. Vomit mention (no actual vomit), one weird, incesty comment made by Bakugou)

You’re walking down the street, groceries in hand. It’s dark out, but you aren’t worried. You’ve taken this way home so many times before that you could walk it with your eyes closed, today you had just gotten sidetracked by a cute dog while getting your groceries, so it was a bit later than you were used to. But you had your mace in your pocket, your phone in your hand - you’d be able to call for help if something were to happen

You’re pumped to get home - you had bought a new flavor of your favorite brand of ice cream. Something new and exciting, you were going to put on a movie, sit on the couch, and do a little taste test.

You’re passing a side street, the one with the tiny sand which shop on the corner, where you sometimes stop for lunch. Maybe you’ll go there tomorrow, it’s been a while since you’ve had a hefty sandwich.

Where they came from, you don’t know. But one moment your walking along, minding your business, and the next moment your being dragged to the side, a hand over your mouth, muffling your yell of suprise.

There isn’t even time to scream. You hear a car door open, and then you’re being manhandled up and into the back of a van. At least, you think it’s a van.

Hands are all over your body, holding you down, pressing over your mouth, wrenching your arms behind your back, shoving your face into the floor of the van. Far too many hands for one person.

“Rope? Give it here.” A rough voice sounds behind you, and everything’s happening so fast, you’re not even sure what’s happening.

Someone’s looping rope around your arms, tying knots, tightening them until yours arms ache at the uncomfortable stretch, and the rope is biting painfully into your skin.

You struggle briefly, trying to push your head up, shake free of the hand over your mouth, tell them to wait, to stop.

The man behind you is hauling you into his lap, kicking your legs apart and keeping them spread with his own. He has a hand over your mouth - he’s the same one who grabbed you - and his other hand is kneading at your breast. He punches it through your shirt, and you shriek.

“Stay still, don’t wanna cut you sweetie.” There’s a flash of something sharp being waved around in the darkness. It’s so dark inside the van, you can hardly see. There’s a man in front of you.

Two men, one behind, one in front.

The man before you is stocky, big - you can feel his size as he moves between your spread legs, as his hands grab at your clothes.

You hear the snip of scissors, everything’s moving too fast, you can’t think, you can’t breathe.

One moment you’re safe, the next moment you aren’t.

Clothes are being cut off, it feels weird being bare like this, and it’s wrong, and you grab onto that thought. As soon as the scissors stop moving, you thrash in the first man’s hold, but a quick slap to your naked thigh has you spooking like a rabbit, going deathly still.

There’s fight, flight, or freeze.

“Ei, grab the vibe.” The first voice, the rough one, grumbles from behind you.

The large man in front of you, Ei, leans to the side, still wedges between your thighs. He roots around for a second, before straightening, holding something.

There’s a click, then a buzzing sound, and then you’re crying.

He’s holding a vibrator against your cunt, rubbing it up towards your clit, and it feels good but it’s so sudden.

It’s overwhelming, and you don’t know how you ended up like this.

You arch, a whine bubbling out of your throat, muffled by the calloused hand clamped tight against your mouth. It hurts, but it feels good, but it’s too much.

The man, Ei keeps moving it, following your body no matter how you try to shrink away, wiggle to the side, try to buck his hand off. There’s no escape.

You don’t know how long it takes you to cum. Have you been in the van long?

“Hah, I think the little whore liked that.” The man behind you taunts as Ei turns the vibratory off, tossing it to the side. You’re boneless in the rough man’s arms, exhausted by your orgasm.

Still, there’s so much adrenaline and fear coursing through your body that you feel keyed up. But the fear is muted, soft, unreachable. There’s only what’s happening, and you can’t do anything about it.

Everything feels so weird.

“Kat, here.” You’re being handed over to the soft man, Ei, and the man behind you, Kat, shuffles around.

“Her mouth looks so fucking soft... can’t wait.” You can hear Kat’s grin as you’re laid flat on your back, arms trapped painfully behind you.

You try to say something, but your throat’s dry, and your head feels fuzzy, and maybe this is just some twisted, sick dream.

Your upper half is wrenched to the side, shoulders pulled onto Kat’s lap. Something soft and fleshy taps your face, and you cringe away.

“Bite me, and I’ll end your shit.”

“Kats, chill.”

“Awh, shut up softie. I know you’re fucking aching to get inside her little cunt. Look at how hard you are, damn Ei.”

Kat snickers, and you finally make the connection that the velvet tapping roughly against your lips is a cock.

“The plush ones always make you cum in like, two fucking seconds. It’s cause you’re a mommas boy, ain’t it?”

The man easing your thighs open shrugs. “Guess so.”

“Your mom was fucking hot though, makes sense.”

Ei huffs out a laugh, and you feel pressure ashe eases into your cunt. But you can’t focus on that, not when Kat is growling at you to open up.

You get the feeling that if you don’t open your mouth, something bad will happen.

You open your mouth.

The next few minutes, you don’t even really know what’s happening. Ei’s fucking your pussy, hands gripping your waist as he uses you like a living fleshlight. Kat is thrusting into your mouth, groaning and hissing when your throat closes up around him.

You feel like you might throw up.

Ei keeping groping your flesh, slapping at your tits, pinching and stroking and his hands feel so gross. Your skin is tingling, but yet it somehow feels numb. Kat keeps slapping your face around, and you’re choking on his cock, and this all feels too weird to actually be happening.

You can’t stop thinking about your ice cream. Had you dropped the groceries when Kat grabbed you? Hopefully the ice cream hadn’t opened up.

It feels like they take forever, but at the same time, you don’t think any time has really passed. You were outside carrying groceries just a few seconds ago.

Then Kat is pulling out of your mouth, shoving you fully onto your back so he can jack off onto your tits. You don’t feel his cum splatter across your chest, but you feel the wetness as he rubs it into your skin, chuckling darkly.

Ei is still going, and it hurts. He’s big - if you weren’t loose from the orgasm pulled out of you by the vibe, you think he probably would’ve torn you open.

He pulls out, and then there’s warmth striping over your stomach, and Kat’s rubbing that in too.

Both men are a little breathless, and so are you, but you think you actually might be hyperventilating.

“Where’s the wipes?”

A package thumps next to your head, and Kat grabs it, muttering our a “thanks” to his partner-in-crime.

Cool, wet baby wipes swipe over your skin, cleaning up the mess. Your arms are still tied behind your back.

“Kat, where’re the clothes?”

“Underneath the passenger seat, where I always put the damn clothes.”

There’s shuffling, and then the sound of a ziplock bag being undone.

A baby wipe swipes over your pussy, scrubbing. You’re sensitive, and when two fingers enter you, stuffing a wipe against your walls, you whimper.

“Stop being so rough, you aren’t an animal.”

“Shut the hell up, I’m the one making sure we don’t get fuckin’ caught.”

The fingers pull out of your entrance though, taking the wipe with them.

You’re being sat up, a shirt roughly yanked over your head. It’s soft, smells like detergent. Ei’s lifting your legs, tugging sweatpants onto your body. They’re too big, but they’re comfy.

You realize you still have your shoes on.

“All done, let’s get her out.”

“Wait-“ Kat says, and thenyour jaw is being wrenched open, and a hand is shoving a baby wipe into your mouth. You retch, pushing at Kat’s wrist, but the man is stronger than you, holds you still while he rubs at your mouth.

“Kat, she’s gonna throw up.”

“Nah, she’s fine. Besides, even if she does, all the better right? No swab’ll be able to find anything after she blows chunks.”

Ei sighs.

Finally, the hand pulls away, and you cough, doubling over as you splutter. The taste lingers, and you want to throw up.

“All done. Let’s go.”

A hand pats your cheek “Bye bitch, it was fun.” Kat laughs, before climbing towards the front of the van.

Ei pushes you towards the back doors, opens them, helps you get your feet under you.

He doesn’t say anything as he pushes you towards your forgotten grocery bags, your dropped phone.

His hands leave your back, and you hear him shut the van doors, hear him walk around to the drivers side.

The van starts, and then it’s driving away, and you’re all by yourself.

All you can think about is the ice cream.

It’s probably melted by now

[aeirs-moved]

🌷🍋🧃 my april faves 🧃🍋🌷

you thought that post about bringing monthly faves onto kinblr was a joke? you thought wrong <3 putting this under a readmore because it’s going to be long lol

>> animanga

🔅 netflix’s aggretsuko! i binge watched it this month and it was really good. wasn’t crazy about season 3 but i loved the first 2 :) i love retsuko and her horrible taste in men like i’ve never felt more seen. mental. i wasn’t too much of a fan of director ton’s redemption arc because like... i don’t know, like he starts off super misogynistic and horrible and it’s framed as something where he’s trying to push retsuko to do better? overall it’s super cute, though.

🔅 jujutsu kaisen! no big surprises here from tumblr user antigojos, but i’m enjoying it a lot. i love gojo but being in a room with him for over 5 minutes would make me go literally insane. 

🔅 mob psycho 100! well, you know ;)

>> video games

🔅 love nikki. my ultimate guilty pleasure game. anime dress up with Plot. not super dependent on microtransactions for a free mobile game, i’ve spent 0$ on it and i love it! i contribute to the wiki every so often :)

🔅 spider solitaire. fun but it makes me feel like an old man. reigen arataka simulator 2021

🔅 skribbl.io. it’s a great place to practice my digital art. love the language learner/artist solidarity there. mostly a really sweet community <3

>> food & drink

🔅 nature valley’s peanut butter dark chocolate granola bar. it’s excellent like i’m literally obsessed. i don’t like most granola bars because i’m not a huge fan of dried fruit plus i don’t like super sweet granola bars because at that point i might as well eat a brownie for breakfast but it’s so good.

🔅 extra refreshers mint mix. ok it’s gum not food but you get the point. i still can’t really tell the difference between spearmint, peppermint, sweet mint and wintergreen but it has a pretty combination of green colors and that’s enough for me.

🔅 dole frozen mango chunks. ohhh my god so fucking good. the dole kind is better than the cub generic brand because the cub generic is rock hard but the dole kind has like, a softness to it that makes it so delicious. 

🔅 starbucks espresso frap. so good it’s like a coffee slurpee. that’s it that’s the review.

🔅 hello kitty water bottle. ok so last year i impulse bought a hello kitty water bottle from target because i was depressed and it was 8$. i fucking loved that water bottle and used it constantly and then it got gross and i was so so sad. it was kind of janky and the print had a visible seam on it but it was hello kitty and that’s what matters. i go to target for back to school shopping and what do i see? the same hello kitty water bottle with an improved print and a mint strap! i bought it ofc and its so cute :)

>> fashion

🔅 wrangler relaxed fit black cargo pants. the poor man’s tripp pants. i bought them for 20$ at target and they’re so comfy and the pockets are huge. all i can think about is “but i told him i was masc :(” when i wear them fhdsjfh

🔅 gold toe knee high black socks. we couldn’t find the cheaper kind of long black socks that i usually wear (that look dope with rolled up jeans) and so we got the pricier kind and theyre sooo fucking soft <333 like i hate to plug brands but like. omg

🔅 pack of like 20 pairs of earrings i got for 5$ at five below. i don’t even think it has a brand name but there’s a lot of cute pairs in ther ^_^ like there’s like, moons, safety pins, stars, little fake pearls. it’s super cute <333

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 10: Mari plots plotting

So long time no post. I live. Ish. Also finally figured out readmore on mobile, so yay. Will take forever to edit posts now though. Explanation at the bottom First part here previous part here. Ao3 here

Marinette wanted to go on record that Mandeliev did not, in fact, give her an extra day or so to study for the test. Why? Instead, she was told she may do a paper on the application of physics in gymnastics and principles of evasion in urban areas and how to combine the two to maximize one’s ability to run away from akumas and other dangers.

Or as Nino put it: “I am tormenting you into running better, the eight page essay.”

Alya dubbed it the “Run Better Paper.”

Aurore said it should include more formulas when Marinette showed her the draft. (as Adrien would complain about lack of theories and how she should have used this advanced formula she’d never heard of instead and then Marinette would have to forcibly stop him from taking over her paper. Again.)

Kim had taken to keeping her in his hoodie, escorting her to the bakery and didn’t leave her alone until Adrien said it was his “Marinette Anxiety Watch” shift.

Which she would like to go on record, is just plain mean to say. She has Liar 100% under control when world ending things and metaphorical bomb drops aren’t happening to her constantly.

—-

Bruce tried to contact Diana and Arthur again. Hal was off world, and therefore useless.

Why?

As his missing son hadn’t contacted them yet. Was still in the Miraculous team’s custody. And he saw the footage of Robin—Damian—being hunted by a lving shadow, an element casting swordswoman, and a strategist that seemed to know exactly what to do to keep Robin cornered in battle. The living shadows—Chat Noir—tried to kill his son with Cataclysm.

That was when they were in public, and had Hal watching over them.

He didn’t want to think about what the kids might do unsupervised to someone that tried to kill Ladybug, openly stalked her civilian self, and apparently tried stalk her again, in broad daylight. And possibly may have revealed her secret identity…

From the comments, it seemed that the Parisians hadn’t connected his sons aliases to the pair, writing it off as “Copy-cat Vigilantes” thankfully. And none of them were revealing more than “so the Fashion Disaster tried to go after Chat and Ryuko’s civvie… Not A Smart CopyBird” was the most he was able to get.

His children, on the other hand…

——

“I Fucking KNEW IT!” Tim yelled. “I knew it was her!”

“But,” Jason smirked. “You didn’t tell us.”

“Soup girl, baby bat!” Cass said gleefully.

“Wait, we both talked to her—and you didn’t say you thought it was her either Cass!”

“So what I’m hearing, if my ears don’t deceive me,” Jason continued. “Is that you all lost too.”

“What—“

“Wait a minute!”

“No way—”

Cass shrugged. She was the least invested in winning. She got to meet soup girl, who is very nice and her parents are safe for Baby Bat.

“We don’t have proof,” Dick pointed out. “Didn’t you say something about her being a mouse?”

“I—”

“Well—”

“Yes.” Cass cut through Tim and Stephanie’s waffling. “She is.”

Dick rubbed his forehead. “How many secrets can one kid have?”

“Five?” Jason said without much thought. “Limit is definitely five.”

—-

“Let me get this straight,” Miss Sting began, watching Ladybug very, very carefully. Rena and Carapace were busy that night and couldn’t act as the team’s Common Sense Filter in person. and texts only went so far.

So the job fell to Aurore. To talk (probably Marinette) Ladybug out of a Very, Stupendously, Inconceivably Bad Idea.

“You want to trust Robin—the kid who tried to kill you—to contact his mother—an assassin—to talk strategy about how to take down Hawkmoth’s civilian life’s business, not kill him, and trust that they won’t kill you?”

“…I’m bringing Chat with me.”

“Ladybug.”

“What, do you want me to use a Lucky Charm to prove this is our best bet?”

“You know what?” Miss Sting threw her hands up. “Yes, yes I do.”

“Fine.” Ladybug threw her yoyo skyward. “Lucky Charm!”

A red, spotted ball with an 8 on it came down.

“… you have got to be kidding me.”

Ladybug shrugged. “Uh, Magic Eightball, is it okay to trust Robin with this?”

One shake later and the floating die window read “Without a Doubt.”

“Give me that.” Miss Sting scowled, shaking as she asked. “Should she bring someone besides Chat and Robin—like someone from our team or Wonder Woman or Aquaman?”

The ball answered “Outlook not so good.”

Miss Sting glared at the magic eight ball. “I can’t believe this!”

Ladybug shrugged. “Lucky Charms are Lucky Charms—and I gotta go.”

Miss Sting checked her beeping spinning top. Someone was just akumatized.

“Re-charge first!” Miss Sting yelled before swinging ahead.

—-

“Oh, hey, when’s Demon Spawn going to contact us?” Jason asked as other bats calmed down.

“He’s not answering his communicator.” Bruce growled. “Hal took it earlier.”

The bats paused at that.

“Well then. Trackers?”

“Disabled—what? We didn’t need anyone crashing the apology and he ran off before I could stop him,” Dick defended. He is not Damian’s keeper. Just his Batman (as yes Bruce, he is Damian’s Batman and Damian is his Robin. Current masks not-withstanding).

“Then how are we supposed to find him?” Stephanie asked as the room grew uneasy.

No one answered that.

“How’s this,” Tim began. “Me, Steph and Cass agreed on who Hawkmoth probably is, each of us has a different set of evidence for it—and I’m counting breaking into his evil Liar and the cameras catching him mid-act a few minutes ago as absolute proof.”

“I’m sorry, you did what!” Stephanie leaned over Tim’s shoulder to see. “Oh shit. Isn’t that guy—”

“One of her friends? According to their private Instagram accounts, more like partner in crime and possible Chat Noir. I mean, he’s the one that calls her his “everyday Ladybug” and voices Chat Noir in everything." Tim answered idly. “My money’s on him not knowing at all.”

Bruce twitched. Then began to add ‘stalking social media feeds’ to his to-do list tonight.

“So,” Tim stepped forward. “I suggest we send this to the Wonder Woman and ask for Robin’s comm to be returned, and failing that, I bugged the video so anything they play it on, we get access to its IP and can find where they are.”

“Have Oracle go over the bug, just in case,” Bruce told them. “In the mean time, the rest of you suit up for the night. Gotham needs its vigilantes.”

—-

Marinette wanted to go on the record that her plan (to keep the bats away) was going well. Deciding what to do with Mu—R—Damian. Damian. Damian and his offer, was a challenge.

For obvious reasons, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Aquaman were against her asking a bunch of assassins for their help. Chat has more than a few reservations. Carapace, Rena and Miss Sting gave her looks for that plan.

But.

But it would work. She needs more information on how to make the plan burning in the back of her mind work. It’s a lot of chaos (and she may thrive in chaotic battles but this wasn’t her usual battlefield, and her team didn’t know who they were going up against for once). And Marinette? She needs to know its not just her doing this when its so out of her depths.

So despite literally everyone and their disagreements she had Chat on her right side with Damian on her left, meeting up with his Crazy, Semi-Immortal mother. And possibly his Immortal, former Black Cat candidate, grandfather.

Why?

As Marinette isn’t trusting the likely cult that makes up the Gotham Ghost Gang (Batfam if you like them) when she can get real advice and vague directions to immortal and allied (loyal and terrifying) assassins.

And yes, she wasn’t sure if Liar was wrong or right when they said it was a bad idea too.

But fuckit she’s already got Kaalki at her shoulder, looking a bit bored at the deserted rooftop that Kaalki chose for their meeting.

“داميان*,” the woman smiled at her son. “It’s good to see you.”

“Mother,” Robin greeted. “This is Ladybug and Chat Noir. Ladybug wished to speak to you about potential strategies to take down an enemy outside of battle without violence,” Damian stressed.

“I am well-aware of the Kwami and their Chosen, اِبْن.**” The woman spoke calmly. “The League of Assassins formed to act as the Black Cat to restore the world to balance and un-burden the Order with its maintenance.” The woman offer Ladybug her hand. “I am Talia al Ghul, and I am at your service, with or without violence Ladybug.”

Marinette took her hand. “Thank you Talia. Our target being directly exposed like I planned would have…” Ladybug trailed off, thinking over the ramifications not only to Adrien, but to the whole of Gabriel’s brand, workers and all that worked with them. “Some intense ramifications I’d rather avoid.”

Talia nodded her head, waiting for more information.

“I believe its possible to topple them without affecting their employees by uncoupling them from their business, but doing so is, well, stocks and economics isn’t my strongest point.” Ladybug admitted a bit sheepishly.

“I would suggest,” Talia began, “to create a bit of chaos in the stock market. Perhaps a rumor here and there, let investors pull out and grab the abandoned stocks quickly. Consolidate them under one owner and become the company’s owner.”

Marinette twitched a bit at that. “That… sounds complicated.”

“Oh, but it isn’t. My son knows just how to that, or did you forget our lessons?” Talia asked coolly.

Damian twitched at Marinette’s side. “I did not.”

“You know,” Chat chimed in. “I do know a few things about those things. If its general chaos, well…” Chat’s face twisted in a way Marinette forgot he could do after that Chat Blanc episode.

“… I will take that into consideration.”

“Anything else?” Talia asked, watching Ladybug and her son. Specifically, how her son seemed glued to the girl’s side. “I am certain my son is able to take out your target, if all else fails.”

Damian scowled at Marinette’s side.

“However, I do believe that whatever is happening, whatever has you active, might require a more… experience hand.”

Damian brushed against her side. Code for ‘Possible Danger.’

“Thank you for the offer,” Chat moved in front of Marinette. “But mi’lady and the Guardians have that much handled.”

Talia’s eyes shifted from Chat to Ladybug, staying on her. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I merely needed more information on how to execute this type of plan, that’s all!” Ladybug almost, almost slipped into Marinette while Liar, while silenced for the moment, prodded the back of her mind. “I want to minimize collateral damage as much as I can, to everyone. The kwami already said they get to chose the target’s punishment.”

“Ah, I see.” Talia relaxed then. “You are following the kwami’s wishes. I will respect their wishes as well, Chosen.”

Marinette categorized this interaction as one of the “not too horrible, but will avoid a repeat” once they left.

—

*Damian in arabic

**son

so we have Talia now as a Player, sort of. she plays by her word pretty well so hopefully its a cameo more than anything else.

any ideas on how JL will handle the video, and if Miraculous Team should see it and freak out or only LB and keep on the dl while JL assissts in her Chaos Plot?

End of update. Will have to repost from ao3 on my phone now as desktop tumblr is being exceptionally rude. Tags always open, just takes me a bit to do—sorry to vixen for vanishing from tags

TAGS:  @heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace @jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang @dreamykitty25 @emu-lumberjack @vixen-uchiha

[zet-sway]

For the character development questions: 1, 9, 23, 24, 25, 30. If you just wanna do one per ask, then 30!

Thank you!!! This is gonna be a long post so lemme just throw down a readmore right off the bat. [questions be here]

Ok for starters I'm going to answer these as they pertain to my Thane survives AU story arc thing that I'm trying and hating myself for but also loving at the same time lol

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”

Ahhsjflsd great question ok ok. I strongly headcanon Thane as demisexual and also bisexual. Yes there are people who strike his fancy but he needs something more to really grab his attention and "open his eyes," so to speak. And for him, that moment is specifically when they're on their way to Rakhana to pick up his donor lungs. At this point, he hasn't agreed to the transplant, but when they arrive Shepard is just like "yeah I'm going down there to pick up those lungs whether you like it or not." He agrees to go with her - because even if he isn't going to take them, he knows better than to let them go to waste. By now he's impressed with her as a leader but this moment really tugs at his heart. She shares his determination to get the job done, for the same reasons. It's a time sensitive mission and even if they don't save his life, they'll save someone else's life. That really strikes a chord in him. And suddenly he has a big fucking crush on a human.

Shepard is just like, "yes this man is hot," on day one. At first it's just his body and the similarities he shares with humans. But the more time she spends with him, the more she comes to find his alien features very attractive as well. She's particularly fond of that dark spot under his lip.

9. What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?

At first, they aren't too worried about commitment, because neither of them expects to live very long. There's a moment where they have a strong "honeymoon phase" moment after the Collector base, but once the reaper war gets going they're both hanging on for dear life. Actually I'm debating whether or not they'll elope, because Shepard knows she could be court martialed and if they're married they *might* have some speaking or visitation privileges (disclaimer - I have no idea how being court martialed works in real life).

After the war they can't imagine being apart. By then they've shared so many insane experiences that even if they were unhappy in their relationship, they'd be sad to lose someone that understands their struggles. In my AU, Shepard retires early from the Alliance and does some traveling with Thane before returning to Earth and becoming a fucking farmer. I'm probably going to write about this because it makes a lot of sense to me but requires a lot of words to explain lol

23. How comfortable are they talking about, and openly communicating during, sex?

THANK YOU for asking this. I was afraid everyone would be too nervous to ask any of the sex questions. I'm a smut writer - I'm extremely sex-positive as well. My libido may be terrible but I'll damn sure talk about it all day lol

I headcanon Thane as a deeply sensual person. Touch is his love language. Especially considering he's a terrifying neck snapping assassin, he delights in being able to give pleasure as easily as he's able to take life. I don't mean to say he "delights" in taking life here, I'm intending to highlight a contrast that his hands are capable of both extremes on the touch spectrum. He's a romantic but he's also real about it - open communication is very important to him in the bedroom. That fanfic I'm working on? It's all there lol. But basically I think Thane talks about sex with ease, it's an important part of a relationship for him, and he isn't shy about it. He'd be willing to try (nearly) anything for his partner's pleasure.

In contrast, my Shepard has a totally different sexual background. She's had few partners and most of them were limited to fooling around or she just got unlucky enough to have a guy who "fingers like he just dropped his pick in his guitar and he's trying to fish it out" - I can't take credit for that one but I don't remember where I read it lol. Sex has been lackluster for her. I wouldn't say she's shy, she's vocal and able to communicate in the bedroom, but her previous partners have just been dumb as rocks so her expectations are low. I'd say she's good at communicating what she doesn't like, and she's shit at saying what she does like.

24. What would their partner do that would really turn them on, perhaps unintentionally?

*Thane sweating loudly while watching Shep grab her own boobs* Literally any context. She's showering, or itchy, or horny, or just bored, whatever. He likes watching her do it.

Shepard will never ever ever get tired of watching him stretch. Especially if he's in any way undressed. It's his stripes - she loves the way they move when he moves. She also loves watching him talk with his hands because there's something intensely exciting about knowing what his hands can do while simultaneously watching him just ~wave them around~ while he talks. Pic related.

25. They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better?

Thane makes Shepard upset in my latest WIP. But it's also like, my proudest moment of this fic so I'm not going to elaborate on this. I know I was shooting to have it finished this week but it just keeps getting longer and more out of control T_T I am trying!

Also they are not together at this moment but Thane get's very upset when Shepard puts him on the transplant list. I started writing this moment actually but it's not smut or fluff so of course I'm struggling with it. He's going to sit her down and explain how a lung transplant will cost two lives for him. The life of the individual who didn't make it because they got bumped down, as well as the life of the donor - natural causes or not. But related to question #1 above, she redeems herself by seeing the mission through to the end even though he hasn't agreed to the transplant.

30. What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?

This is probably the hardest question on this list HMMM

Thane's not a coffee drinker. This is kind of a cop-out answer but that's my headcanon. I oscillate between him being coffee-repulsed or coffee-ambivalent. Either way, it's too rich for him.

Shepard eventually comes to insist that he be outfitted for a proper hardsuit, and he is adamant about not getting one. "You'll be so much better protected!" "Yeah well my scales are a little more durable than your skin plus I need the mobility." Maybe, deep down inside, she just wants to see him in a hardsuit cause she thinks it would be hot >_>

[thewebcomicsreview]

So I've been following this one guy who gives really good writing advice, but lately he's been: telling people it's OK to skip the Intermission in Homestuck; defending bad writing as a "structural issue" (those poor writers, it's not their fault they've structured their story / writing process in a bad way); priding himself on making a half-assed "unfinished-on-purpose" comic review. This person was my main source of writing advice, so I don't know where to turn to. Any recommendations?

The only other webcomic review guys I’m aware of are the Bad Webcomics Wiki, but if you think I’m too nice on writers, they might be up your speed anyway and oh my god they just posted a review of a SpiderForest comic. Guess it’s time for

The Webcomic Review Reviews Webcomic Reviews

So, this is a review of a SpiderForest comic called “The Guide to a Healthy Relationship” which is a comic about LGBT people, and it’s being reviewed by the Bad Webcomics Wiki, so obviously there’s going to be a whole bunch of slurs, so consider that a content warning and I’m putting the rest of this behind a ReadMore

This is going to be slightly disjointed because the BWW review is disjointed, but I’ll do my best

We’re already in some factual trouble right on line one, since TGtaHR is a traditional webcomic and not a long-scroll mobile-friendly webtoon, nor is it hosted on webtoons.com. Is this nitpicky? Maybe a little, but we’re off to a poor start here. 

This comic is just under 200 pages.

I feel like if you’re going to write a big thing attacking a webcomic’s story, you should try to have some kind of understanding of what that story is. I know what the story of Sinfest is, and Sinfest is a confusing nightmare.

Okay, so maybe the reason you think this story is bad is because it’s 2deep4u. 

So, in the space of about twenty pages, we learn that Apollo had a friend named Julian who killed himself, and then we cut ahead to Julian drinking on the job, going to a party, taking drunks, and waking up naked in the bathtub covered in beer bottles, and the living room is full of too-hot-for-tumblr passed-out drunks. The Bad Webcomics Wiki calls this “Softcore porn that is never brought up again”, because the Bad Webcomics Wiki is written by high school dropouts for an audience they presume has never read the comic proper. 

This debauchery is never brought up again because it’s not relevant to the plot, it’s relevant to the character. Apollo is fucked up because his friend killed himself when he was a teenager, and he deals with being fucked up by retreating into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That’s what’s being established here. Also being established if you’re paying attention: Apollo has scars on his chest. 

In chapter 1, Apollo goes to a party, the entirety of which is dedicated to him walking around naked, and we get a bunch of obviously sexual shots of his dick, clearly catering to the author's gay fetish. His boss goes to his place to check on him, and it is revealed he is a hoarder. This never comes up again.  

1. In this scene, there are two panels where you can see Apollo’s penis, one panel where you can see someone’s vomit-covered dick, and two panels where you can see a woman’s breasts. None of these panels of flacid dicks or sagging boobs are sexual, though. The dicks are unpowered, it doesn’t make a bit of difference guys, the balls are inert. 

2. What the fuck is a “gay fetish” and how it different from just “being gay”.

3. I don’t know the author, even though we’re both in SpiderForest, so I don’t know where Dani The Carutor lies in the whole gender spectrum thingamabob, but I will note that “Dani” is usually short for Danielle. So maybe it’s not a safe assumption that the author is a man? I dunno. That’s just me, guessing people’s genders by screen name is hard, so I try not to lest I embarrass myself.

4.So, when you say Apollo is a “hoarder”, you link to a page showing his room is disgusting and covered in garbage

Is your takeaway from these panels....that Apollo is some kind of fanatic garbage collector? That his room is full of garbage because he actively works at having as much garbage as possible because he wants it? 

There are a couple pages explaining Apollo's purple special snowflake eyes with some snowflake "disability".

Apollo has Ocular Albinism, which is a real condition that really exists, and really does give you purple eyes. It also gives you major vision problems, which are the context in which it gets brought up, because Apollo needs help crossing the road because he can’t see well enough in the light. So I don’t know what the scare quotes around “disability” are for. He can’t see. You could, if you were so inclined, connect this plot point with the way the chapter titles are named after mental conditions, and start to formulate some coherent critique with the seemingly cavalier way this comic uses disability, but that would require thought. It might even require research into difficult topics, because you’d ideally not want to make a fool of yourself talking about things you didn’t understand well enough to talk competently about. 

Chapter 2 is the most pointless, as it is basically there to confirm what we already know so the author can insert a cringy buzzword (see image below)

Okay, so a couple of things

1. In what fucking universe is “tranny” an SJW buzzword? What the fuck are you even talking about? 

2. Having the protagonist of your comic say someone is “smart, for a tranny” is like the least SJW thing you could possibly do.

3. Perhaps “Apollo is asking someone for help but casually insults her causing her to leave” is some kind of “character” moment? The author of this review is so /pol/-poisoned that they have no ability to understand “context” or “characterization” or basically any thing that exists. 

4.Your list of the comic’s characters includes this bon mot: 

So what the fuck? That’s so stupid I’d think it was an intentionally hypocritical joke if I had any reason to believe you were capable of it.

Chapter 3 is dedicated to revealing the boyfriend shit

I should point out that Apollo and Julian being boyfriends is something the BWW invented, the comic itself clearly states they were “best friends”, not boy friends. Couple of dudes being prudes. 

Apollo believes that Julian faked his own death, which fucked up Apollo for years, and now that they’ve met each other Julian keeps ghosting him. Apollo’s motives for chasing Julian around are extremely clear. 

That’s a scene transition, bay-bee! 

Apollo finally gets ahold of Julian. Julian blows him off and Apollo gives up. There’s then a clear scene transition to Apollo, at a restaurant, talking about what we just saw. This is a perfectly clear scene transition, with a transitory panel and everything to indicate that this is the next day. It’s certainly more clear than Apollo waking up in jail in chapter 2 which you skipped over. Are you actually reading this comic at all? 

You are such a fucking moron, holy shit. 

Julian got beat up for being trans. It’s unclear if he’s actually trans or just a feminine-looking cis dude, but regardless it was bad enough to traumatize him and this all happened when he knew Apollo, who calls Julian his “best friend”, and says things like

There’s literally two dots here, and you’re unable to connect them. Galia even has the same hairstyle as Julian to make it visually obvious This Is What The Reference and you still missed it. 

Julian and Apollo walk around the woods in their underwear for no reason whatsoever. Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Hm. Why does Julian go outside at night? I wonder if that’s explained in the comic?

Oh, I see. He went outside to smoke. But why did Apollo go outside at night?

Oh, he was looking out the window and saw Julian mysteriously go off into the woods. I guess that’s explained, too. I guess you just missed those pages

Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Huh, I wonder why Julian was asleep

Oh, he has Insomnia, so he took something called Halcion. I wonder what that is.

Oh, it’s a prescription insomnia medication. And you shouldn’t take alcohol with it, wow Julian is dealing with a super pushy alcoholic I should file that information away for later, like how knowing Wellbutrin’s side effects in teenagers were critical to understand Drop Out. Luckily webcomics are comics, on the web, and I can look this up! 

He is then woken up by the fatty side character punching him. Somehow, Julian destroyed the kitchen, even though he was passed out - this is never explained, and makes no fucking sense

Sigh.

So, here are some hints as to what happened.

1. 

Julian has bruises all over his body, which you have consistently failed to notice.

2. 

Daniel, Julian’s friendly boyfriend, has like no negative reaction whatsoever to Brandon, some random dude, punching Julian in the fucking face

He even takes Brandon’s side and basically implants the idea that Julian did it into Julian’s head, and that last panel is rather threatening. 

Julian took insomnia medicine, and fell asleep, and then got wrongfully blamed for destroying the kitchen by Daniel, who know’s that Julian was passed out and couldn’t have done it. Who actually did destroy the kitchen is a mystery, but Daniel is the most likely culprit. 

it transitions into this trippy bullshit with blood, and body horror, and Julian's hair is suddenly short

It’s short because it’s a flashback to when he was a teenager, and he had short hair when he was a teenager so that literate people are able to understand this without getting confuzzled. 

Apollo turning into Daniel in this trippy dream sequence is also pretty relevant! 

Also, we have random nudity and sexualization of this sick person.

No, we have reveals that he’s in worse physical shape than we thought.

By the way, in your character list, you describe Daniel as

Daniel (Side Character): He may as well be a wall. This guy has no personality whatsoever. No quirks, no interests, no purpose outside of causing superficial melodrama.

If you’ve made it all the way to this point and not picked up on Daniel being an abusive boyfriend and the primary antagonist of the story, you may be beyond hope.

The rest of the chapter is Julian being angsty, and SO ILL while everyone talks about how weird he is

Again, that’s very clearly and obviously not actually what’s happening in the story.

What’s happening isn’t “Julian is sick lol”, it’s “Daniel is working to turn everyone against Julian”. That’s why he destroyed the kitchen and blamed Julian for it; to ensure that the other boys all thought Julian was a nutjob and thus keep them from reaching out to Julian and providing Julian with a guide to a healthy relationship instead of the abusive one he’s currently in. Your inability to read even slightly between the lines isn’t just distressing in terms of your inability to think critically about stories, it’s maybe worrisome re your ability to think about the real world, too. How are you this dense? It’s like watching Star Wars and not picking up that the empire and the rebellion don’t like each other. No wonder you’re confused! 

Chapter 5 is still in the works. It jumps the shark right away with Apollo getting drunk and sleeping with Julian's boyfriend. The author makes Apollo the guilty party and not the boyfriend

The comic is fairly clear that Daniel is the bad guy

This webtoon is so convoluted there is no saving it at this point. Each chapter is titled after some mental illness such as 'Monophobia', 'Anxiety', 'Psychosis'. You think they would have some thematic meaning with each chapter being about one of those things. Nope, they're just titled like that to show how EDGY this webtoon is! You can taste the cringe. Julian's mental shit has no rhyme or reason - he will act sick when the plot calls for it, and if it has anything to do with the chapter's title, it is also crazy inaccurate.

The author of this review somehow managed to read the entirety of The Guide to a Healthy Relationship without picking up that Daniel was an abuser. The comic thus seems convoluted to him because he thinks all the things happening are random events without rhyme or reason because he has completely failed to notice the whole plot, which is not subtle. Just....fucking staggering incompetence, as a critic.

Guess you’re stuck with me, anon.

[bi-dazai]

extremely problematic post coming up, on mobile so I can't put it under a readmore, read the tw in the tag///////

///////////////////////////////////////

i literally hate being this weight so fucking much like i HATE not being skinny as a fucking rail. like i wanna be able to see my goddamn ribs, i hate every part of my body, i hate how big my chest is because it makes it impossible to exercise, i hate how flabby my arms are. And the worst part is that I LOOK FINE, like to the fucking crazy body positivity movement online they'd be calling me out for being skinny or whatever even though im literally not but im 75kg and it WONT FUCKING LEAVE. like i tried for a YEAR to get it to go, admittedly corona interrupted that extremely badly, but I lost only 10kg last year. and now im gonna try intermittent fasting but honestly really it's just my eating disorder from high school returning but now with *healthy dinners*. which i knew but I'm DESPERATE like if I'm not skinny what's the fucking point in even trying bc when im fat I'm ugly.

And ppl are always like "well actually i put on some weight and now I'm happier" and honestly genuinely good for them, but that isn't me. Every time I've put on weight I've been in a bad place, but every time I'm resorting to starving myself (again lol) I'm also in a bad place. But it's too hot to exercise and I can't afford a gym. So here we are. And blah blah blah ohhhh bone weakness youll make ur anaemia worse you'll probably start passing out randomly again but you know what at least I'll finally be pretty and people might actually want to be seen in public with me. Like look at this shit why the fuck would you ever want to be seen next to this person lmfao

like the camera warped me back up to how fucking fat I was a yr ago, like irl i didn't look this bad but still jesus fuck why would you ever. im a fat ugly loser

[utopians]

most emotionally impactful scps??

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!! THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THIS QUESTION… THEY ARE ARRANGED IN ASCENDING ORDER OF HOW MUCH THEY FUCKED ME UP

there’s a Lot of other sad and good ones that aren’t on this list but I don’t remember all of em unfortunately, I’ll make a more comprehensive rec post one of these days… also putting this post under a readmore bc otherwise it’ll be like 2 miles long on mobile. there’s just 10 of em but still. 

if you take NOTHING else away from this post please let it be the last 3 on this list… they’re my personal favorites

SCP-2786 (The Archetype): “SCP-2786 was a good character. SCP-2786 did everything right. SCP-2786 doesn’t understand. SCP-2786 just wants to go home.”

SCP-001 (WJS Proposal): “And even if you still don’t get why I’m doing this, please understand that I still love you.”

SCP-2508 (The Long Wait): “Thanks for keeping the plants fed. Hit a snag in traffic, might take a bit longer than expected.”

SCP-001 (S.D. Locke’s Proposal): “Personnel exposed to SCP-001 aren’t people you can just abandon. I didn’t ask for you to save me. It wasn’t your choice to make.”

SCP-001 (Pedantique’s Proposal): “The drop of blood is perfect in the same way the fishhook is. The hook exists to snare. The blood exists to bleed. If only you had such purpose.”

SCP-001 (Lily’s Proposal): “During an SCP-001 event, flowers are observed to spontaneously appear and bloom over ~90% of the viable land surface of the planet.”

SCP-3939 (NUMBER RESERVED; AWAITING RESEARCHER): “The Foundation is your home, your family, where you belong. Your life’s work is here, and now that it’s all in jeopardy, you’re more stressed than you’ve ever been.”

SCP-3001 (Red Reality): “Anna… [Voice breaks.] Anna, can I hold your hand, I lost my ring… [Sobbing.]”

SCP-3999 (I Am At The Center Of Everything That Happens To Me): “I am numb to your bullshit, because here’s the thing about horror and weirdness: the more you reveal of it, the less effect it has. I am sick of your horror. I am sick of you.”

SCP-4231 (The Montauk House): “His girlfriend and best friend of as long as he can remember is lying in bed and she’s beautiful and terrible, a blade contorted to cut the thin flesh of reality with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel.”

[vwildmage]

Accidental Possession

HLVRAI Crack idea that will not leave me alone (loosely inspired by this AU where Benrey pulls Gordon into the game itself (i was going to tag the blog but my anxiety said no). Their AU seems to be mostly angst tho, here we’re going for laughs)

Post Game, Gordon figures out a way to free the AI from the game. He sets up some way to communicate with them so they at least have a heads up. Benrey, the bastard that he is, immediately begins screwing with stuff. Shit goes a bit wrong, Benrey gets caught halfway between worlds, and Gordon grabs his hand and tries to pull him free. There’s a flash, Benrey disappears, and Gordon collapses.

(This was supposed to be so much shorter, but then it ran away with my brain so we’re putting this under a readmore (which might not work if you are on mobile, sorry))

The rest of the Science Team managed to get out of the game before it crashed and are now wandering about Gordon’s computer, able to mess with files while they appear as figures on the screen. They find a way to use his webcam to check on him and work out where Benrey went. They are reassured, for just a moment, when they hear his voice coming over the mic. That relief turns to absolute bewilderment when they realize Benrey’s voice is coming from Gordon, who is now sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

There’s the expected moment where he stops, gets a clear look at ‘his’ hands, and comes to the conclusion that something is off. A few seconds later, and it seems Gordon himself has returned to awareness, because now both of them are struggling to stand up, failing miserably, and yelling in short, half-formed sentences as control shifts wildly between them. It takes a while before they manage to balance out with the Science Team shouting “helpful” suggestions.

Whatever it was that let Benrey escape the computer entirely is now out of commission, so the Science Team is currently stranded, though it’s not as bad now that they aren’t stuck inside the one game. Benrey is a nuisance as usual, but he’s been forced to tone it down for now. And Gordon is stressed, but trying his best. He has to fix whatever went wrong so he can get Benrey out of his head and the Science Team out of the computer. We’re in it for the long haul.

(we’re also kind of glossing over amount of development it would take for Benrey and Gordon to be on legit good terms with each other. Benrey is a chaotic bastard who gets a great deal of entertainment out of pissing Gordon off, and there’s no way Gordon would be completely chill with him right off the bat)

Since he’s being forced to share headspace with Gordon, Benrey also experiences the full range of human emotion and the five senses (things in the game were dulled down, and now it’s borderline sensory overload). It is overwhelming to say the least, and early on he’s quicker to just retreat beneath the surface and leave dealing with reality to his ‘roommate.’ He gets used to it over time, and he starts making his presence known more often to mess with Gordon, reassure the Science Team that he’s okay, or to genuinely experience life as a human.

Gordon finds the whole situation awkward as fuck, but inescapable (like being stuck on a jammed elevator with someone you hate), so he just has to buckle down and deal with it. He’s surprised and concerned by how reserved Benrey is acting, but after the initial event he’s more preoccupied with the Science Team’s well-being.

Benrey is capable of taking over completely if he wants too, all he has to do is just shove Gordon’s consciousness down and keep him trapped. The reasons he doesn’t do this are as follows:

due to the aforementioned sensory overload, keeping full control was extremely uncomfortable, so at first he was actively pushing Gordon forward like “YOU deal with this”

once he’s accustomed to the intensity with which humans feel, he and Gordon had already had a lengthy discussion about boundaries, and why they shouldn’t be crossed. at this point he isn’t so intent on cranking Gordon’s blood pressure through the roof, and he knows some lines are not to be crossed

(for a small dash of angst) perhaps at one point during a particularly vehement argument, the two of them actively fought for control. Benrey gained the upper hand, but when he started to force Gordon back it caused a flash of intense pain and Gordon was temporarily knocked out. Benrey realizes that if he isn’t careful, he might actually cause permanent damage to his fragile human friend

If Gordon is willing, he can mentally ‘take a step back’ and let Benrey guide their movements, so both of them are moving in tandem. He’s a little hesitant to let the gremlin take control, but they work on that as a sort of trust exercise. (perhaps once they end up working in perfect harmony, Benrey can project the Sweet Voice through Gordon? it startles them both when little spheres of glowing mist pop into existence)

And lastly, if Gordon is sufficiently weakened, Benrey can step in and take control without any resistance (and thus without hurting him). They find this out when Gordon pulls one too many all-nighters trying to free the Science Team. Everyone was worried when he refused to stop for rest, so Benrey snagged control and set down whatever he was doing so he could make the idiot go to sleep. Gordon was complaining in the back of their mind the whole way, but once they were settled somewhere warm and comfortable, he was out like a light.

Beyond that, there are plenty of shenanigans to be had, with Gordon trying teach Benrey the hows and whys of being human, wild dreams and encounters in the mindscape, and the Science Team more or less taking over all of the electronics in Gordon's house.

[filibusterfrog]

hoo boy. Yeah i guess ive never covered it entirely so buckle in

will put it under a readmore so its not super long (sorry to mobile users sometimes they dont work for me)

Andrah is the youngest son of a wealthy family and uncannily similar to his mother in appearance. He was spoiled by his parents and Galvorn up until he was about 8 when the coming genocide of faunuses (any race+an animal characteristic) forced him and his mother out of their home with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a pocket watch. His parents decided that the safest place for them to wait out the war was his druid grandmas house in the neighbouring country,  completely isolated from society. Over the journey he remains optimistic that he’ll see his brothers and dad again soon, but then they reach the border, where his mother is killed. 

He doesnt witness it happen because what he assumes is the spirit of the forest whisked him away before the fact to barter for mums pocket watch in exchange for Imleranths (andrahs) safety. Its a very important pocketwatch. Comic detailing these events here (x) 

So he strikes a deal with the (assumed) forest god for power after seeing his dead mum- this is the point at which hes officially a druid. The pocketwatch is then on loan to him from the forest when a deal is struck, it’s his spellcasting focus

His grandma finds him eventually after a week or so of him wandering around in the woods. She just had to follow the path of destruction :) (Andrah is a bit of a subversion of your average nature protecting/loving druid because he absolutely didnt earn his powers and he has little to no respect for anything, let alone nature. He’s a spoiled brat and he never grew out of it but whatever gave him his powers doesnt seem to mind)

So he lives in the forest with grandma. Any optimism that wasn’t crushed by his mums death is further squashed by the dwindling letters that his dad sends him until they stop altogether when he’s about 15. Andrah concludes that his family has forgotten him, which becomes a huge sore spot for him, so he changes his name from imleranth (a name which had familial importance) to andrah (completely descriptive. Roughly translates to ‘Horned’) goes and does nothing for a further 90 years, letting that sentiment fester. Eventually his grandma gets dementia and forgets him as well, laying a painful curse on him. This is the last straw and he abandons his deteriorating grandma under the guise of searching for a cure for her dementia. He secretly doesnt intend to return, but thats how he justifies it to himself.

Meanwhile Galvorn, doting middle brother and crybaby extraordinaire becomes a paladin under the Fortunan regime that won the war and killed their mother. Sirion is a sorcerer and tries to not think about how he may have one dead brother (doesnt know if andrah is alive) and one fascist brother.

(old ref but you get the idea) The war still rages 100 ish years after it started and the ship andrah takes to leave his home is sunk- he washes up on the shore of an island and meets addedor and angus (yes our party member names all start with ‘a’ it drives the DM crazy)

So the adventure starts! They decide on the party name Fire Team Lightning because its cool and makes the DM weep. The island nation theyve washed up on is being occupied by the Fortunan empire. They meet a dude named Kova along the way and andrah gets his throat slit by the Fortunan general, Metriss.

While Andrah is dead, the raven queen chats him up and tells him that hes gotta put an end to all this war nonsense. Addedor and Angus make a deal with an archfey to bring andrah back. An archfey is now loose on the world and Andrah is alive again. He has decided that he doesnt like the raven queen because honestly if you’re a god you can sort out mortal mistakes yourself instead of making him do it. Andrah thinks he’d do a better job as the raven queen, there would be no fence sitting or indecision on his part. He decides to usurp her, and has no idea where to start. 

I went to england toward the end of this arc so i missed 9 weeks of sessions lol basically they killed Metriss (who turned out to be one of the heroes from our last campaign possessed and made evil) and liberated the kingdom while andrah was off fucking around fighting minotaurs and shit. sorry this part is a bit sparse.

this is getting long and ive covered a lot of the major character bits. Might do a part 2 later covering the further year and a half of our campaign ive yet to summarize. Galvorn and Sirion show up again!

[1-800-want-joj]

spent a long time writing this on RYM but felt like I needed to put on here too because it’s so personal. its less of a review of Mel Gibson’s We Were Soldiers and more of story about growing up and realising that adults are incomplete, flawed humans like i was

Growing up, I lived next to a Vietnam veteran. Private Jim Smith. I know, sounds like I'm making the name up-- when my 8th Grade social studies teacher asked us to do a project where we'd interview a veteran, he didn't believe Jim was real at first either, and thought I was trying to worm my way out of actually doing the project. Jim, known to me and my sister as "Mister Smith", was an interesting man. Stern, but caring. He'd never let a friend or neighbor in need go without-- and never let any slight, real or perceived, pass without issuing a sharp verbal lashing. A hardass and a hard drinker; a sword forged in South Boston under the corrupt and tyrannical rule of the Irish Mob, and tempered in the jungles of Southeast Asia. I never asked myself as a child why Mister Smith drank so much beer and whiskey. It was just what our neighbor did. I had a tense relationship with Mister Smith. My father passed away when I was 10, and my disabled mother struggled to keep us fed. Mister Smith became something of a surrogate father. He'd drive my sister and I to doctor's appointments, feed us when my mother was in the hospital, and reprimand us when my mother felt we weren't taking her punishments seriously. He was a harsh man, even with all the love I know he had in his heart he hid it pretty damn well with drunken fits of rage and long diatribes about "America as we know it is heading down the shitter because of that monkey in the white house." I feared him, but as I grew older I began to understand him and the demons he carried with him every day that drove him to act the way he did. One day Mister Smith called our house and asked to talk to me. He wanted to know if I'd like to come over and watch a film with him. It struck me as something very out of the ordinary. He was always so cold and distant, and would never ask anyone to do anything with him. It was so odd and out of character that I had to take him up on the offer just to see what was wrong. I was a bit hyperfocused on military history as kid and Mister Smith loved to talk to me about documentaries and movies and his experiences in the military, but only when I was over his house for other reasons. He'd never summoned me like this before. I sat down on his futon and he told me we were going to watch 'We Were Soldiers' by Mel Gibson. "Lotta people fuck this battle up. But Mel Gibson did his homework." As the opening scenes of the movie played out, he recounted to me for the umpteenth time about how he was deployed as part of police action, not a military invasion, and how that set the stage for the battle I was about to watch recreated. "This was my battle," the words left his mouth proudly many times throughout the opening scenes of the film. But as the film wore on Mister Smith had less and less to say. The pride and matter-of-factness with which he set the stage for the narrative of the battle of Ia Drang Valley gave way to a shakiness as he told me, in the most vulnerable moment I'd seen from him in my 13 years of life, "I don't like to watch this movie alone. It's hard." The battle began and as the NVA slaughtered the surrounded marines, he looked at me again, even more naked and vulnerable...with tears welling in his eyes. Tears, falling from eyes that had seen people beaten nearly to death in the Bussing Riots, stared down the barrels of NVA rifles, watched swathes of jungle be melted away by chemicals and bombs, and watched the outside world for years through metal bars in a Massachusetts prison for felony charges that he never opened up to me about. "I left a lot of friends in that valley." Those were the last words from his lips until the credits rolled. We Were Soldiers isn't a particularly memorable war movie. It's not even really that great of a Vietnam era piece. It's hindered by some bad dialogue here and there but at the end of the day you can look past it and see a movie that is just...good. But for me, it will never be just another war movie. To see a piece of art reduce a callused alcoholic to a silently snivelling wreck as he relives the most exhilarating and horrifying moment of his life, it transforms that piece of art for you, through your contact with them. It takes on a meaning beyond a simple dramatic reenactment of a moment in time. To me, We Were Soldiers is a part of Jim Smith and he is a part of it. Jim died in 2014 from untreated gastric issues related to his drinking. I will never truly understand the ghosts that he took to the grave with him, but I was given an intimate look at them and a chance to understand them that very few people in his life likely ever were.

[echoise]

(screenshot of the ask bc tumblr mobile doesn’t handle readmores on asks and I want to be safe w this prompt) thanks to @unlucky-words for letting me borrow Seneca!! I hope I did them justice!! 

Bad Things Happen Bingo #2: Self-harm

he’s trying to help. sometimes he even succeeds. (vague chargestep, nb!sidestep (Seneca!), m!ortega. warning: the obvious, vague suicidal thoughts) 934 words

Ortega narrows his eyes. “What are those?”

Sen looks down, more confused than alarmed at first. The balance quickly shifts as they notice the exposed wrist, sleeve wrinkled at their elbow and not reaching quite as far as they need it to. Stopping just short of their palm, exposing the jagged white lines across their arm.

Fuck.

Ortega steps forward to grasp their arm and Sen panics, worried he might try to pull up the sleeve further. Because if he did, he would see...

Can’t have that.

Sen twists in the hold and slips free easily enough, dancing a few steps back. “Fuck, don’t do that!”

Ortega has the sense to look sheepish, at least. “Sorry.” He quickly squares his shoulders, seriousness descending on his face like a heavy fog. “I’m worried about you.”

Sen pulls the sleeve back down, all the way to the base of their thumb. Covering everything. “I’m fine. Those are... old mistakes.”

There’s an edge to the look Ortega gives them, the kind that makes Sen squirm. “Seneca. I have enough scars to know how to date one.” Date, like some sort of scientist. Some sort of researcher. Sen only barely manages to hold back the snort and let him finish. “Those are new.”

“Well...“ Lying won’t do any good here. Sen sighs, stuffing their hands in their pockets. “Maybe. Look, it’s fine. I’m fine.“

“I just--“

“I said I’m fine, ok?” They’ve raised their voice now. Defensive. Suspect as fuck. But Ortega backs down. Sen almost feels guilty - it’s easy enough, with the hurt sad-brown-eyes-and-long-dark-lashes look Ortega has perfected, the one that’s charmed so many hearts across the city... and dropped more than a few pairs of pants, they’ll wager.

That night, Sen balances the razor on their fingertips, watches it seesaw like some sort of demented scale. Weighing their life and their deeds.

They wonder which way the scales will tip in the end.

The next time they’re over, Ortega pulls Sen to the kitchen. They cross their arms and lean on the sink, doing their best to channel nonchalance, even though inside them is a churning pot of uncertainty and fear. “What’s this then?”

“I’m gonna teach you a trick.“ Ortega flashes a smile over his shoulder, digging in the freezer for something. When he shuts it and turns around, Sen can see it’s an ice cube tray. They arch a brow.

“I hope it’s not juggling, because I’m sure we all remember how that went,“ they joke, trying to ease the tension. It works, somewhat: Ortega throws his head back and lets out a hearty laugh, the kind that fills Sen with warmth and makes it seem like things could be okay. A soft kind of self-deception.

“You’d be surprised now if we tried again,“ Ortega winks, popping some cubes out of the tray. Sen rolls their eyes, but smiles. A small smile that softens the light in Ortega’s eyes, layering the already rich brown with warmth. “Hold out your hand.“

Sen hesitates, but does as asked. They swear as Ortega drops a cube in their hand, keeping hold of the other himself. “Fuck! What’s your game here?”

“Just hold it.“ Ortega has gone serious again. Not a good sign. Sen swallows and watches as he holds his cube up, already melting: tiny drops running down his fingers and palm. “Watch and do as I do.“

They hold their breath as Ortega pulls back his sleeve and presses the cube to his wrist. Right over the veins, over the pulsing dark blue. He slides the cube across his skin, keeping it moving, never stopping to hold it still. “See? Now you try.”

“What’s the point here?“ Sen asks, reluctantly pulling up their sleeve. Just a bit. Just enough to expose the faint lines on their skin, raised bumps scratched across. Only those, not the other kinds of lines they hide under clothes. They contemplate for a moment longer, the fingers holding the cube numb, but finally press it on their wrist. Curious.

“It’s supposed to help.“ Ortega tosses his cube in the sink and steps closer, gesturing at Sen. “Keep it moving. Go over the veins, like I did."

“Help with what?“ Sen asks, doing as instructed. The ice is melting, leaving a trail of water on their wrist. Droplets running down their hand and into their sleeve, making the edge of it uncomfortably damp. The cold touch makes them uncomfortably aware of their pulse, of the blood running through their arm. Causing the hairs on their arm to stand up on end.

“The urge.“ Sen looks up and finds Ortega watching them, concerned, gentle. Wondering if it’s working. Sen glances back down at their wrist, at the cube gliding across. Not unlike a razor, just with less red. The sweet numbness almost the same. Painful enough to be real, but... less harmful.

“...thank you.“ The words almost catch in their throat and Sen blinks furiously, willing the mist to clear. They hear Ortega draw a sudden, relieved breath that turns into a chuckle.

“I hope it helps.“ He’s smiling. He’s hoping. It breaks their heart, because while it helps, it’s not enough. There’s no way it could be. It’s just a temporary relief, like everything is, the pain just less scarring, less visible to others. Maybe that’s what they need - less evidence.

But Sen puts on a smile, their face betraying them and making it actually reach their eyes. Making it feel real. Making them both think that things are just a little bit better.

They really wish that could be true.

[metalempire]

Fire Emblem Three Houses Review: A Great Game Crippled By Squandered Potential

Now that the clickbait title has grabbed ur dick and engaged the hate boner it’s time to sit down and take a look at the newly released Fire Emblem game everyone loves (including me, to an extent, despite what the title says.) 

I’ll put the whole thing under a readmore to safeguard from spoilers, save dashboards and for anyone who doesn’t give a shit to just stop reading now at a convenient point. As for mobile users, fuck you, I’m a phone hating old man. Read this on an Apple Refrigerator or die.

The TL:DR version is: Game good overall, but not enough variety and near lazy repetition makes both gameplay and story feel a bit disappointing overall once you play all the routes. 

Also you can’t fuck Rodrigue so 0/10 worst game in the series. 

Right now I’ll address the good points about the game since I do in fact have heaps of praises to sing it’s just easier to clickbait with negativity of which I do have but the positive bits come first cos I said so. 

The gameplay is good Fire Emblem, unlike SoV which was ass don’t @ me, as the kids say. Aside from fog of war and a very occasional desert map there’s not too much unpleasant shit and there’s not really any spam which is great since the past few games were getting guilty of that. The maps are a bit plain in layout but they’re not bad either and the enemy placements, choices, map features and terrain are all nicely put together to make a fairly pleasant experience with each one. There are no desert fort maps surrounded by 5 range archers on all sides. There are no cantors spamming infinite terrors or infinitely spawning faceless reinforcements. The weapon triangle might be absent but the breaker skills have been retooled and brought back to allow you to choose if you feel like opting into it or not on your own end. It allows alot of units and weapons to shine and combined with the class freedom the game gives to allow you the wiggle room to make your own playstyle, so if an entire army of Wyvern Lords if your thing then the game is nothing short of an enabler there. Combat Arts are back and nicely well balanced and feel more useful than in SoV, not to mention gambits being a natural expansion on them, Battalions being a positive this game brings to up the scale of warfare rather than it just being Anime Teens VS The World and adds another combat art not tied to a weapon and nice stat boosts and effects to change how you interact with enemies, such as using Assembly to drag a boss off a heal tile, and so forth. The more options the better, and the game is full of freedoms for you to play around with. 

Garreg Mach Monastery is where most of the game takes place and where a good chunk of hours are spent. Being able to train weapon and movement type ranks outside of battle is also great and adds more micromanaging onto a series about alot of micromanaging and helps units keep up with each other, as well as letting you farm your own resources, bond with the gang and do little activities to give you some reprieve between fights. You can tell Koei Tecmo did alot of work on the development of Three Houses since this section of the game reminds me of Dynasty Warriors when you go back to your base and sort things out there and wander around. It also breathes some life into the setting and gives a good sense of permanence to the world and its’ characters. 

The world of Fodlan is also a major strong point, there’s lore, backstory, history, politics, a culture and even clashes and divides. It’s the most well realised world in a Fire Emblem game since Jugdral which it clearly has drawn inspiration from and I cannot praise Fodlan enough for being as well realised as a setting as it is, since the characters and exposition really give you a proper impression of how this world functions on social and political levels. The school setting of Garreg Mach is one I was initially iffy about but it fits surprisingly well and definitely grows on you over time since the game does a good job of immersing you in the role of a teacher. 

Tying into the world is also Crests, which, when combined with the Ability system, is great, making you pay attention to your characters crests, what they do, how they can benefit you, how you could use them, and to pay attention to enemy bosses and minibosses to see what crests they have, and in turn, pay attention to abilities some more too, to both create your ideal units, and keep an eye out for the same on the enemy team. It’s quite well balanced overall and is a sneaky hint of a possible Genealogy remake on the way someday.

The characters are also wonderful, often three dimensional with their own political views, own social perspectives, quirks, oddities, backstories, character conflicts, relationships, and of course, boatloads of trauma. Watching them all interact with each other and reacting to the story events and getting to know them was an excellent experience in proper character writing and interactions that the series has been starved of thanks to the very hit or miss (mostly miss) characterisation from Fates. The main lords are also incredible, from Edelgard and her dark as fuck backstory and her powerful resolve and willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve her wider scale goals, to Dimitri and his intensely personal conflicts and emotional baggage and his journey of highs and lows, to Claude and his boundless charisma and similarly his own ambitions and dreams all wrapped together in a charming package. The characters are all great and I can’t really find myself with any grievances about them that don’t boil down to wanking off over nitpicks over Hubert’s left testicle being out of place in a cutscene or something daft like that. 

The soundtrack is good. Not my favourite one but as always with Fire Emblem it’s good and makes the maps more fun since you can listen to a nice tune while thinking about how to murk the pair of armour knights. My only gripe really is the normal versions of songs all sound better than the in-battle variations they get. I also like that a boss theme or miniboss theme will continue to keep playing on the map itself until you beat that character, so you dont have to dip and dive into chip damaging Lyon to hear The Prince’s Despair anymore. 

The overall story is fairly decent, not as bad as Fates’ writing, or the fairly bland writing of some of the past games like Awakening that play it too safe. It’s willing to go in dark directions and focus in worldbuilding with its’ plot. However I do have alot of negatives to say about it by contrast but know that the overall story of the game and its’ many routes is one that I don’t hate, but I certainly feel wasn’t as well handled, especially in the second part of the game, as it should be. On an individual level, each route is decently well paced, aside from Edelgard’s route which is mysteriously 4 chapters shorter than the rest for no discernable reason at present until developer interviews shed light on that. The plot is for the most part decently well executed on an individual level. 

Now I’m going to insert a very important opinion of mine. I think a game can have a bad story, or no story at all, and still be great, so long as the gameplay is good, because gameplay is what makes a video game a video game, rather than just a dvd with an interactive menu. A game can have a great story, but if the gameplay is shit, the game suffers as a result, and it needs to play its’ focuses very well in order to redeem that. I try not to put as much important on story if I can’t help it, since I’m playing games for the game part first and foremost.

I bring that up because unlike Fates, where you can ignore the plot and have a good time with it, Three Houses isn’t so merciful, due to how much raw time is spent in cutscenes before, during and after battles, as well as engaging with the story at the monastery too, alot of time in Three Houses is not spent in the gameplay portion, but interacting with the story instead, so I have to place importance on the story because the game is, so I have to put more focus than I usually do on it because the game does by necessity of raw amount of time. Otherwise I honestly wouldn’t mind either way if the story was bad or good. 

This is to transition over to the negatives. 

For the bits where I’m not tying the gameplay and story together for reasons seen in a bit, understand that I was wary about the removal of the weapon triangle. While I don’t mind how it’s been handled, I still think the game is missing something for not having it since the beginning, and it’s definitely a core aspect I enjoy about the series, since now you can forgo unit variety and planning weapon level ups and just use whatever to win, and that level of freedom can hamper strategy in thinking on a more necessity based level, which in turn has subtle but noticeable effects on difficulty. 

The amount of time you spend not doing maps is honestly still jarring. Most of the time in these games if you’re ever spending lots of time between maps, it’s usually to get through a mountain of supports you forgot about, rather than spending alot of your time in cutscenes and doing stuff in a monastery. While I don’t hate it, I find alot of my time is spent not doing the Fire Emblem parts of the Fire Emblem game I’m playing and considering the fact that each route is 18-22 chapters long, compared to most FE games which go more than that typically, and you come to realise that the other stuff is sort of padding to distract from the low chapter count overall.

Now this is where I tie gameplay and story together in terms of the more major flaws to the game and what really held it back for me. 

Three Houses has 4 routes, all of which I’ve played; Edelgard’s route, Dimitri’s route, Claude’s route, and the Church route. The big problem here in both story and gameplay is the raw amount of repetition and lack of variation the game has with this. Unlike Fates, where the three routes all featured both unique maps, variations on maps, or if they did share maps, usually put them at different stages in the game, Three Houses doesn’t do that at all. Map variety is something this game is weak in, since paralogues just reuse story maps, and so far, only 2 or 3 maps seem exclusive to paralogues, and even then can be repeated by other paralogues. Worse still, earlier paralogues, like Ingrid and Dorothea’s, can spoil maps later on, and don’t even make sense when you get the context for that location. In every other past FE game, the paralogues all got their own maps. Repeating maps in a single run is already a risky business, but then there’s overall repetition. The first part of the game is exactly the same on all routes, it follows the same story and overall beats, an the only variation is chapter 12, if you’re playing Edelgard’s route, if not, it’s the same for the other 3. And for context, I did Edelgard first, Dimitri second, Claude third and Church last. In hindsight, that was a terrible order, since I basically ended up repeating myself 3 times in a row thinking I was getting something different. When the timeskip hits you expect each route to get different, but only Edelgard’s does. the other 3 routes are all about fighting the Adrestian Empire to save Rhea. That’s it. Dimitri, Claude and the Church routes all follow the same story, and by extension, maps, making you do them all in the same order as each other, with a minor variation here or there like Dimiri getting a chapter to retake Fhirdiad then resuming the static map path. The only difference is in the plot contrivances that don’t come up on the other routes despite following the exact same events to steer you towards a different final boss. Those Who Slither In the Dark are a great example of this. They destroy Fort Merceus only in Claude’s route, and for no reason are barely involved in the fights of the other routes and are never dealt with. They themselves are also wasted villains, with Kronya and Solon shown off once, then killed off in their second appearances, then Thales barely being in the game only to die in Claude’s route. The game sort of forgets about them in the other routes, and, insultingly, they’re fought by Edlegard in her route, but only in the epilogue, rather than having her missing 4 chapters cover that conflict. 

Really, the only point to playing a route is to get a different final boss, and to get some different lore in the final chapter. You only learn about Nemesis right at the end of Claude’s route, you only learn Byleth’s origin story at the end of the Church route. Outside of things like that, you’re just playing the same game, same maps, and same story but with different playable characters over and over again with no real variety until right at the very end, which is highly hollow. Edelgard’s route offers the most variation on all this, and yet it’s 4 chapters shorter than the other routes, so you’re either condemned to play the same shit over again, or you barely get any time with the one that’s a bit different. It really sucks since the map variety really is nonexistent. You play the exact same game for 12 chapters, think you’re getting some variety, then just get the same shit as the last run, or, only get a few maps and then you’re done. Either way, the sheer lack of variety in maps and accompanying story really makes the hyped up timeskip feel like a colossal disappointment in hindsight, and when Fates, a 3DS game, has more map and story variety (yes even if that story was awful) than a home console game, then something is deeply flawed about this game.

The pacing is also fairly bad if not close to terrible. At most the game is 22-23 chapters at the most, 18 at the least, and it spends 12 of these on the Academy phase of the game. The game drags its’ feet with the story for the first half, slow burning its’ way along, feeding you hints of lore to come and setting things up and, to be honest, doing a good job at worldbuilding. Then the timeskip happens and the war phase just rushes by at one hell of a fast pace. The maps being the same across them doesn’t help, but pacing can also damage the routes. For example, Verdant Wind builds up to fighting the Agarthans, it builds up to them but only with hints and setup while you’re busy fighting Edelgard, and then once’s that’s done, you have two chapters left, one of which has you fight the Agarthans in one map, beat them, and then have the final battle with Nemesis, which, while the map itself is arguably the best of the 4 and really feels like a final battle, story-wise comes out of fuckin nowhere just to have a cool end to the game. And then there’s Crimson flower, which steamrolls through the game and is definitely missing chapters, with key events like the battle at Gronder just not being there at all. In general the story pacing is just too wonky and every route really needed more chapters to flesh out the conflicts rather than rushing along the most engaging bits of the game.

Also the graphics are kind of weird looking for a 2019 game and some of the cutscenes are animated so stiffly it’s strange to watch. Honestly the visual presentation in Fire Emblem has never really been very good outside of fully rendered cutscenes in previous games like Awakening or Radiant Dawn, but it’s a shame the Switch’s capabilities weren’t fully utilised, especially with some textures, although Warriors with its’ JPEG stone floor in Hoshido Castle is no doubt to blame as well for that influence. That said, it’s not all that big of an issue for this series, and you really don’t notice it as much, just felt the need to address it since it is there and the Switch launched with Breath of the Wild which looks wonderful and then there’s Three Houses looking like it just got out of bed by comparison.

My main issues with the game stem mostly from the larger segment above, the constant repetition of maps in almost perfect order after each other, the exact same story playing out for the majority of what should be different routes, and the school phase being the most repetitive as well really dragging the game down. The first time I played the game I loved it, no doubt, but the subsequent runs made me realise that alot less overall variety was put into the game than I thought would be, and that hurts the quality for me, to know that 3/4 options have me doing 95% the same thing but with different units, and the other option is just a bit too short to be able to fully enjoy what it has to offer. Fire Emblem is a bigger name now than it used to be, and Three Houses honestly deserved to be a bit better than this overall. 

Also you can’t fuck Felix’s dad so what’s even the point of it all, really. 

 I have no doubts though that people will still love this game, and rightfully so, it’s a great entry in the series, just not the best. I’m sure people who’ve only done one or two routes will think it’s fantastic, but once you do all four of them, I think the honeymoon period will pass by, and the initial spark of excitement of a new game will wear off, and just like how everyone tore into Fates a year after release, I think Three Houses might end up suffering a slightly similar fate as well once people realise that the game really doesn’t offer as much variety as it seemed to be offering. Maybe there are people who don’t mind all the repetition and the sameyness of it all, but for me, it held the game back from being truly great. The Lords are what really carry their respective routes, due to their character strengths, and a certain route definitely suffers for only having Byleth (and Seteth of all people) as the main driving force of that route. 

All that said, I really recommend any Fire Emblem fan or even any Switch owner to play Three Houses. It’s not perfect, and it certainly loses it’s magic over time and really needs some reworking in places and major injections of variety, or a really good DLC,  but it’s still definitely got plenty of good quality to enjoy and the bits that are good are really good and worth sticking through each route to be able to play with. 

The score this game gets is a

Forever Pissed I Can’t Marry Rodrigue/10

[ironghoul]

(hey yall)

(So its been a while and im v sorry ive been away so long!!!! ;; my mental health has crashed and gotten really, really bad over the past few months (my bipolar disorder+manic depression in specific) and its been very hard for me to function on a daily basis, and unfortunately the act of writing things, from general messages to RP posts to fic to ecen this post, has become very VERY hard for me bc of the brainfog I endure from my bipolar 2. My ghost muse in general has also kind of gone to sleep in a sense LMAO and i cant be 100% certain as to why it did, though i have some p clear ideas on what at least contributed (from the state of this fanbase being, to put it bluntly, complete Scheiße and also i got super into the Suspiria remake anskdkdshusjdj). Im making this post today bc a) i honestly really miss this blog a lot and b) i wanna get back into rping again...really bad. Im just not really sure of what my brain is gonna do next and how capable of keeping up w replies im gonna be bc of that ;; so I dont wanna rush into smthn I cant dedicate to again yet nor like.....push myself back into RPing if im not ready yknow???

I have however had a couple thoughts abt Irons character recently, and esp after having so much time away from her, ive begun to realize that I might want to change quite a few big things about her???? After thinking abt it some ive come to realize that im not really sure that like....i want to keep her so much how she is now, which is still very coherent and humanlike with a few inhuman traits here and there, so just super fucking depressed and angry and grieving all of the time, etc. For one, I honestly had more of the intention when I first made Iron to make her wayyyy more feral than I have been depicting her in my RPs, and as well, idk if its just a moodswing or something or other but I have found myself growing very weary of iron's horrible neuroses and constant sadness; maybe ive just been through too much recently or its my mental health but Im so sick of having this character just be literally so horribly fucked up and tragic and sad all the time yknow??? Like im just...im weary lmao i dont seem to have the perserverance anymore to have that be her set character bc like its starting to hurt me too at this point and im sick of it, and so what Ive been thinking about in specific is that I think I would like to make some kind of marginal changes to her character. I always ended up forgetting to make iron more feral and animalistic most of the time bc i myself am a...human LMAO and so thats the only life experience i know, obviously, and I think i was so afraid when I first made her to make her meaner or more monstrous bc she might not have really "fit in" well with everyone elses OCs and also I was afraid ppl just wouldn't wanna interact w her if she was Too Mean ahsjdnbdhdhsk but now at this point i think im ready to say fuck that to all of that bc Ive definitely learned now that yall will really interact w just about any character with any personality type or behavior or whatnot, and also, i think it would not only make iron more interesting but more fun for me to write if she was more of a....you know...Awful Gremlin LMFAO and life is short, OCs and RPing were made for fun too and i dont have Time to worry abt that stuff and end up having to sacrifice half of my preferred vision for this character in the process. So basically i think she would definitely still be pretty sad abt Papa 3 but she abolutely wouldnt be constantly haunted and tortured by it anymore, and I also think I want to remove that whole little tidbit abt her always being kind of violent post-ghoulification, even before 3 died. She would also act a lot less human on a regular basis, like i would have her still being perfectly capable of walking upright, talking, being neat and having critical/articulate thinking skills & emotions etc, however there would be a new quality to her of her primarily being, well, again: feral. Not speaking much, probably running around barefoot quite often and sometimes crawling/moving around on all fours, having that sort of primal timidness with whatever new things she experiences, putting things in her mouth off the ground that shouldnt be there, etc you know how it is. She would basically be like fucking Spongegar (Irongar if u will) most of the time LMAO but again she would still be perfectly capable of acting more "humanlike", and staying in line with that Iron Brand Personality(tm) she would absolutely pick and choose who she would decide to act more 'composed' around VS who she wouldnt and would also definitely purposefully act way More feral than she rly is around (to spite some of them im sure). She would probably be more prone to (gasp) Actually Smiling and being happy on a reg basis too, not just being this dark cloud of an awkward troubled depressing fuck tbh. Which fits in more with how im thinking I want to portray her now.

So thats all that, sorry this went on so long and i cant put it under a readmore bc im currently on mobile ahsjdjdjdndjd but like i hope i said what i needed to say well enough. I also wanna know yalls (esp my mutual RP partners!) Thoughts and Onions on the changes I might make to Irons character!!! Ty all, ily 💙💙💙)

[jayflowers]

yknow what for all i try to tell myself i really don’t need someone else in order to be happy, sometimes i cant help feeling like.... i rly fucking do dndnfndn

ive been doing fine for a while now but. i miss intimacy. i miss being vulnerable. i miss the feeling of knowing with absolute certainty that someone loves me as much as i do them and that i actually contribute something positive and meaningful to their life. ive gotten sooooo good at ignoring emotions like these whenever they surface, just bottling it all up and sweeping it under the rug... but at times i just feel so lonely you know!!!!

i feel so alone it’s crushing me. even though i might be surrounded by friends some days it never feels like im really there. what good am i? what do i even have to offer them? how do i stop being so utterly unremarkable???

I know a few people who would scoff at me for saying this and just tell me i need to actually get out more and be myself but the thing is that i DO. ive tried so many times, yet i always seem to end back on square one, and maybe thats really just a testament to how much i fuckin SUCK

i should put this under a readmore but im on mobile and i dont know how. whatever. Im a piece of garbage, i wanna die, blah blah everyone knows already. who fuckkn cares

im going to sleep

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Tony’s male “one night stand” throws Bucky for a loop. He’s been hopelessly pining over Tony since he assumed Tony was straight. Now that there’s proof he isn’t, and because the “one night stand” ends up sticking around for a few days, Bucky gets a lil jealous. Turns out the guy isn’t actually one of Tony’s lovers (maybe he used to be? but now just a friend visiting) and sees that Bucky is just as blind as Tony is to their mutual attraction. He plots and succeeds in helping them get together. xo

Buckywas alone in the kitchen and had just dug into breakfast when Tonycame into the kitchen, sleep-tousled and adorable, sleep pants ridinglow on his hips and thin tee hugging his shoulders. He mumbled agreeting and beelined for the coffee.

Buckytook a bite of his food, not even sure what it was, watching Tonyfrom under his eyelashes, just like he did every morning.

ThenQuill came in, wearing nothing but boxers and one of Tony’s bandtees, and Bucky’s brain stuttered to a halt.

What.

Quilllooked smug. Smugger than usual, which was really saying something,because he was a smug bastard at the best of times. He glanced aroundthe room, and his smile widened when he saw Bucky, for some reason.He came up behind Tony, resting his hands on Tony’s hips andleaning over Tony’s shoulder to whisper something that was probablymeant to be private but which Bucky’s enhanced hearing had noproblem picking up: “Had a great time last night.”

Whateven.Tony was straight. Wasn’t he?

Quillnuzzled Tony’s ear. Tony pushed Quill away, but he looked amused,not annoyed. “Get off, I can’t deal with you until I’ve hadcoffee.”

Quilllaughed and ducked in to kiss Tony’s cheek before turning torummage through the cabinets for his own breakfast.

No,seriously: what the fuckhadjust happened?

Quillbrought his bowl of cereal back to the table to eat, and when he sawBucky staring at him, he just winked.

Buckyleft his breakfast unfinished, appetite gone.

“See?”Tony said when Bucky left. “It’s the death glare, or else hecan’t stand to be in the room with me at all.”

“Oh,I see something, all right,” Peter said into his cereal. A fewbites later, he said, “So, another movie night tonight?”

[mobile readers, ‘ware the readmore!]

Buckypunched the elevator call button and leaned against the wall,exhausted from his workout and somewhat calmer for it.

“Oh,hey!” Quill said, coming from the opposite direction. His stupidhair was a mess, but at least he was in his own clothes this time.“Sorry about this morning, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortablewith all the PDA.”

“Iwasn’t uncomfortable,” Bucky said between his teeth.

“Oh,well, that’s good,” Quill said cheerfully. “‘Cause me andTony, we go back, you know? We’re tight.” He crossed his fingersand waggled his eyebrows lasciviously. “It’s too bad theGuardians don’t make it to Earth that often. I’d love to see moreof him. More often, I mean. It’s pretty hard to see more of himthanI already have, if you know what I mean.” He nudged Bucky with hiselbow, grinning.

“Ithink I’ll take the stairs,” Bucky gritted, turning away.

Buckystood outside the workshop, watching Tony work through the glasswalls. He was beautiful all the time, but especially here, in hiselement, in his domain. He manipulated holograms and projections withfluid gestures, like some kind of wizard from a fairy tale. He slidacross the floor on his wheeled chair, gesticulating as he talked tohis robots. He hefted the armor onto a workbench, muscles bulgingunder the weight.

AndBucky could just walk in there, if he wanted. He could make up someexcuse about his arm needing maintenance. Or he could bring Tony asandwich -- Tony was prone to forgetting to eat if food wasn’timmediately at hand. Or he could go in and invite Tony to go todinner with him, maybe out dancing.

Buckycould do that. Was going to do that. As soon as he worked up thenerve.

“Whoa,hey!” said an unwelcome voice. “Didn’t expect to run into youdown here!”

“Quill,”Bucky grated. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh,you know Tony. He forgets to eat. Thought I’d bring him a littlesomething.” Quill brandished a plate with a sandwich and appleslices and chips. He had a bottle of water tucked under his arm. “Howabout you? Got an appointment?”

“No,”Bucky admitted. “I was just--” He clamped his teeth shut onwhatever he’d been about to say. He wasn’t about to admitanything to his rival.

“Oh,yeah, say no more,” Quill said. “I love watching him work, too.It’s fantastic, what he can do with even this primitive tech.”

Primitive?Bucky’slip curled into a snarl.

“Hey,whoa, no need for that,” Quill said, holding up his free hand insurrender. “Everything on Earth is pretty primitive by galacticstandards, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Ifwe’re so primitive,” Bucky growled, “why do you keep comingback?”

“Well,you never really forget where you came from, do you?” Quill saideasily. “Besides, I’m planning to ask Tony to come back with us.Fantastic as he is here, imagine how great he’d be with the wholegalaxy at his fingertips.”

Buckyhad no trouble imagining it -- Tony would be magnificent--but the thought of him leavingwastoo painful to contemplate.

“Anyway,better take this in,” Quill said. “‘Scuse me.” He shoulderedpast Bucky and pushed into the workshop. Bucky watched, a cold achein the pit of his belly, as Tony looked up and greeted Quill with abright smile.

Tonywas leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting impatiently for thecoffee to finish brewing, when Bucky came in. He looked a littlewide-eyed and wild around the edges.

“Tony,”he said. “Quill’s not in here, is he?” He looked around as ifexpecting to see Peter jump out of the cupboards.

“No,”Tony said. “You okay, there, Tinman?”

“No.Yes. I just. I need to talk to you,” Bucky said.

“Okay...”Tony grabbed the coffee pot, poured himself a cup, and drank half ofit all at once. It sounded like he was going to need it. “Okay,shoot.”

“Don’tgo with him,” Bucky said. It sounded like he was pleading.

“What?”

“WithQuill,” Bucky said. “I don’t... I ain’t gonna tell you who tostep out with, even if I don’t know what you see in the guy, butyou can’t leave us. We need you here on Earth. Ineedyou.”

“Idon’t,” Tony said carefully, “know what you’re talking about.I’m not seeing Peter, and I’m not going anywhere with him.”

“You’renot?” Bucky looked drastically relieved, and then confused. “Wait,you’re not?”

“Notwhat?”

“Notseein’ Quill.”

“No?”Tony said. He took another gulp of coffee, and looked at Buckyclosely. “I mean, we hooked up once, a couple of years ago, butwe’re just friends now. He’s sort of flirty like that all thetime.”

Buckyscowled thunderously. “He told me... No. He let me think youwere!”

“Yeah,he thinks he’s funny someti-- Wait, what difference does it make?You don’t even care!”

Buckydid something then that Tony would never have thought he’d ever seein his life: Blushed. Bucky’s entire face and neck went brightcrimson, and his gaze was suddenly everywhere except on Tony. “I.Uh. I might. Care, that is.”

Well,thatdidn’tmake any sense. Tony took another swig of his coffee and then nearlychoked on it when Bucky’s meaning finally filtered through. “Youcare? About me?”

Bucky’sblush got darker. “Yes.”

“Like...care?”Tony couldn’t seem to move past that point.

Buckytook a deep breath and looked at Tony directly. It seemed to takesome effort, as if Tony were something too bright to view directly.“Like,” he said slowly, “since you ain’t as spoken for as Ithought, would you like to go to dinner with me? As a date,” heclarified. “Just t’be clear.”

“Ifthis is a practical joke, it’s in extremely poor taste,” Tonytold him. “Did Rocket put you up to this? Or Clint?”

“Noone put me up to it, Tony,” Bucky said. He was looking away again.Down at his hands. “Just say no, if you’re gonna. Don’t--”

“Ididn’t say no,” Tony interrupted. “I did not. I’m just. Stilltrying to wrap my head around this. You want to go out with me.”

“Yeah,”Bucky said. “Have for months, really. But first I thought you werestraight, an’ then I thought you were with Quill, an’...” Heshrugged, then peered at Tony hopefully. “If it ain’t a no, is ita yes?”

“It...Yes,” Tony said. “Yes, definitely. But I have to ask -- why didyou think I would leave with Peter?”

“Hesaid... He said he was gonna ask you to,” Bucky explained.

Tonysnorted. Peter hadaskedTony to join the Guardians -- several years ago. And Tony had turnedhim down then, for what were still very good reasons. And now, itseemed, he had another excellent reason to stay right here on Earth.“I do believe we’ve been set up.”

Buckystared, then started to laugh. “He was goin’ around makin’ mejealous on purpose,” Bucky said through his laughter. “What anasshole.”

“Butmaybe,” Tony said, “not 100% of a dick.”

~ @27dragons