#purgatory cas my beloved!

[shedontlovehuhself]

My best friend Cas is back!🥺

[thigholstercas]

it must have been hard for Cas to hear Dean praying every night back in purgatory.

imagine you just got back in the game, the last thing Dean told you is that he rather have you no matter if you're cursed, but before that you lied to him, "died", returned without remembering anything and when you remembered, you took the devil inside your head. and then you have to listen pray after pray to your favorite person who you know you hurt but he's praying to find you so you can go home but you can't go home, how dare he think you can ever go home and in the meantime you're trying to stay away from him to keep him safe while surviving yourself. now imagine some prayers are just your name, a longing "Cas, Cas, Cas" (because definitely Dean longed for Cas and definitely prayed in his sleep) and you have no idea what to do with that either

[writteninthestarsinyoureyes]

Oh my Christ. I just watched 11 episodes of spn in a row.

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

Dean and robin redbreast symbolism

A meta about a bird species? Why not? It's certainly not the weirdest stuff posted about this show XD

Let's begin with:

Characters named Robin in Supernatural:

-Cassie Robinson (1x13)

-Robin (6x22)

-Robin (9x07)

Two of them are introduced as Dean's love interests, two girls he had to leave because of hunting and/or his family (Cassie thought he was crazy for talking about monsters; Robin believed he plainly abandoned her) and who learned in the episodes dedicated to them the reality of hunting. Interesting enough, Robin plays music and Cassie works as a journalist, spreading informations.

The other is a girl Sam killed when he was soulless, and who accompanies him as an illusion of his mind after Cas broke the wall, when he's trying to remember who he is.

Robin redbreast symbolism

Robins symbolize death, re-birth and new beginning. Since they live near to humans, they also represent family ties and home. As most birds, they also symbolize souls, message from heaven and hope.

Robins are also associated with death. They are said to cover dead bodies with leaves and wildflowers, and mourn at their side.

The most known example of this is the children's tale Babes in the Wood (featuring two children abandoned in the woods to die):

Their little corpse the robin-redbreast found, And strew'd with pious bill the leaves around.

Some legends about how the Robin got a red mark

-The robin is associated with the Christ's suffering. When the Christ was dying on the cross, a robin flew to him, singing to ease his pain and wiping his tears. It was smeared by his blood when trying to pull the thorns out.

Another legend says the robin received its redbreast as a reward for protecting Jesus, when he was a child, from sparks of a fire.

-The robin was scorched when it fetched water for the souls suffering in Purgatory.

-The wren flew to Hell to fetch fire for mankind. It came back with a blaze and the robin saved it.

-While the birds competed to know which of them was able to fly the highest, a wren perched on an eagle's back to win, but the eagle flew until the Sun. The robin went to save the wren and its breast burned in the process.

All those legends have in common the robin is marked in red after having suffering for another being, either sharing their emotional pain or being hurt to save

The giant's stairs (fairy tale)

A boy is taken away by a Giant to his court underground and become his apprentice. Seven years later, Philip visited in his dream Robert (called Robin for the rest of the tale), a blacksmith, to ask him to find him and bring him back to his family.

"And how will I know (...) but this is all a dream?" "Take that," said the boy, "for a token", and at the word the white horse struck out with one of his hind legs, and gave poor Robin (...) a kick in the forehead (...). He found himself in bed, but he had the mark of the blow, the regular print of a horse-shoe, upon his forehead as red as blood

Robin found a way to the underworld and met the giant.

"What seek you?" [the giant] demanded in a voice of thunder. "I come (...) to claim Philip Ronayne, whose time of service is out this night." (...) "Then you must single him out from among my pages," said the giant; "and if you fix on the wrong one, your life is forfeit. Follow me." He led Robin into a hall of vast extent and fined with lights; along either side of which were rows of beautiful children, all apparently seven years old, and none beyond that age, dressed in green, and every one exactly dressed alike. "Here," said Mahon, "you are free to take Philip Ronayne, if you will; but, remember, I give you but one choice." (...) "Let me live or die for it, but this is young Phil Ronayne." "It is Philip Ronayne–happy Philip Ronayne," said his young companions; and in an instant the hall became dark. Crashing noises were heard, and all was in strange confusion; but Robin held fast his prize, and found himself lying in the grey dawn of the morning at the head of the Giant's Stairs with the boy clasped in his arms.

Then, Robin brought Philip back to the human world, then to his family.

[charcubed]

Listen, I normally don’t condone when people are like “you’re not going to Get It unless you watch the show” because it tends to be a gatekeeping method, but… I really need people to understand that they’re not going to grasp how meta The Winchesters is as the Dean hall of mirrors show unless they watch it lmao.

The s1 finale has gotten a lot of attention for obvious reasons and there’s a lot to pay attention to in there, but it’s also heavily informed by the extremely thematically unsubtle 12 episodes that precede it. The show is like… an Experience to a batshit degree lol. Its existence is literally dedicated to comprehensively unpacking and condemning the SPN finale as bad. Dean speaks directly to you and tells you why his “ending” sucked and shows you what he wants and deserves for his future. It’s not Dean’s story, but also it IS Dean’s story because he’s telling it.

And I mean, if you need more convincing: it’s also fun as hell with found family right out of the gate, and they made 3 out of the core 4 characters bisexual (I am not joking), and pretty much every episode there’s some kind of emotional healing or catharsis, and the music fucks, and there’s actual consistency from episode to episode in remembering or naming minor characters and specific details from prior plots. Which is all extremely cool in my opinion!

If you decide to watch the show, here’s my advice for the things to keep in mind that will help you effortlessly clock its layers:

1. Every main character takes a turn on the spinning wheel of Dean mirrors in the storylines depending on the episode. There is no rule like “Mary is always the Dean mirror.” Sometimes Mary is the Cas mirror when John is a Dean mirror, for example. And I do mean every character, not just the core 4! It’s incessant. You will get used to this.

2. Our beloved narrator is canonically bisexual. Knowing this fact is a prerequisite to understanding a couple of the queer stories. Once again: I am not joking.

3. Think about Destiel. Yeah 15x18 but also Purgatory, Mark of Cain, widower arc…

4. Think about Dean’s relationship with his parents.

5. And think about how Dean himself is a parent, and his relationship with Jack.

6. And, of course, think about Chuck. (This will not take much effort. Multiple antagonists are gods. Yes, really.)

It is very loud and very consistent. Come for all of the above; stay for how you will fall in love with the characters!

I simply think you will have a good time :) and then you will truly be able to Comprehend and go recreationally insane :)

[mybrainproblems]

[spnbangbang]

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled

Author: LazarusRose

Artist: riverwithoutbanks

Primary Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Other Ships: N/A

Length: 9,000

Warnings: N/A

Tags: Castiel as God, Angelic Grace Addict Dean Winchester, Possession, Angelic Grace Sex, Canon Divergence

Posting Date: November 17, 2024

Summary After taking the souls of Purgatory, Castiel takes his place in Heaven as the new God, with Dean Winchester by his side, satiated by a steady diet of angelic grace that may be making him something more than human... Excerpt Initially, he had had his doubts about Dean’s intentions—his turn from opposing Castiel to being on his side was quick enough to be suspicious—but, looking at him now, Castiel sees no negative emotions in his face.

Although, some of that may just be Dean’s new favourite pastime.

“Come, my beloved,” he says, holding out a hand. “You must be hungry.”

He doesn’t miss the way Dean’s pupils dilate, or when his tongue appears to moisten his lips. Castiel smiles indulgently as Dean takes his hand and brings it to his lips, his green eyes pleading.

“You cannot wait?” he asks with a tilt of his head.

“Please, Cas,” Dean says breathlessly, his lips soft against the pads of Castiel’s fingers.

Castiel pauses, rather enjoying Dean’s desperation, before he pushes one of his fingers into Dean’s mouth. “Alright,” he says, concentrating some of his newly enhanced grace. “Anything for you, Dean.”

He sees the light of his grace in Dean’s mouth just for a second before his lips seal and Dean begins to suck greedily, drinking down the offered grace. The inside of his mouth is so warm, and his tongue laves around Castiel’s finger, licking up every trace. Castiel can see his power flowing into Dean’s system, lighting up his veins and giving his eyes a soft glow. He gently cups the back of Dean’s head with his hand and strokes along his nape, encouraging Dean to take what he needs.

“Good, Dean,” he whispers, his smile widening as Dean’s eyes fall shut. “Very good.”

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Im just gonna allow myself to yap about supernatural and see where destiny takes me. SIDENOTE IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS WITH ME LITERALLY PLEASE I WANT TO PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.

Okay first of all im starting with the start (s1+2). BEST LIGHTING TO MOOD EVER EVER EVER. Like you want dark scary monsters??? ITS THERE. I remember there being a reason they changed the lighting (smugly: yes i listen to the podcast) but i CANT REMEMBER. The characterisation of the macho eldest son coded scared eldest daughter Dean is unreal and parallel in epicness to repressed queer allegory something is inherently wrong with him little brother. The brief moments of emotional vulnerability. Dont get me STARTED on Dean's monologue in the s2 finale i'll start crying. It's crazy how rude john is to Dean like excuse me he raised your kid and now ur bitching about him? Try saying thank you for once. I think the only reason john actually said im proud of you was because he realised when azazel said it dean was like "ur not my dad" and to john it was a little "oh shit" moment. Sam has every right to be angry but every time he gets angry at dean something in me shatters a little because deans trying so hard for himself and sam and sam doesnt know who or how to lash out (emotional dysregulation baybee) so aims for deans jugular like nooo honeyyyy noooooo. This era was the best sam in my opinion.

Rest of the show down here:

Onto S3-5. Cant remember jack about season 3. Season 4 CASTIEL MY BELOVED MY LIGHT MY LIFE MY REASON FOR LIVING. Absolutely loved everything about Weird Cas and i wanted more of him why did they have to domesticate him. His and Deans dynamic was impeccable and yk something??? I wanted to see Dean in hell torturing people i wanted to see it on his face how much he hated that he enjoyed it and i wanted to see Cas' face at watching the righteous man lose. Like the best we got was Yellow Fever GOD I LOVED THAT bit when he was hallucinating the book and it said "you gonna cry?" Like so many people think thats a funny episode but it makes me so sad because he is DYING and from such a young age hes been told to stow it away, lock it down to the point hes HALLUCINATING IT. Cas falling for dean. Im sorry i just. They are the best love story. LUCIFER. He was scarier back then, but i do love later seasons lucy too. Something about the peeling skin and the "we will always end up right here" just slapped. ENDVERSE EPSIODE god so good can we just take a moment to think about it. Okay cool thanks okay. Demon blood Sam arc was fun but had unfulfilled potential. Cant give you specifcs rn its late and my brain needs to get this all out so if you know you know. The whole meta stuff with Chuck was eh until he was confirmed as god and then i was like duuude the faint strings of marionettes are glistening in the sunrise like how do we know --- im getting ahead of myself.

S6-11. I know, its a big chunk. But basically the whole thing could be renamed "Crowley's unrequited love story". Cas and crowley were the best duo i almost forgot like they are genuinely so funny together and i bet it would be great to be tortured by them UMM THE BETRAYAL i honestly loved Cas' episode the only thing i didn't like was how the reveal itself was done like... Idk just a bit... Kryptonite???? Anywho i Loved the tension between Dean and Cas DEAN LOOKED BACK. Um leviathans were my favourite monster but they became so dumbbbb after washing up liquid killed them. BOBBYS EPISODE ALWAYS MAKES ME SOB MY EYES OUT "i raised two boys and they became heroes" allow me to DIE. Also damn impressed a shot to the head didnt take him down but it was lovely to see Deans first world, first solid rock properly crumble around him (forgetting john okay he wasnt a healthy rock) . PURGATORY DEAN JDJSJDJDJD kill me please his fight or flight mode was SO. So sad we didnt get more of purgatory like i would pay to see more i would kill probably but we'll overlook that. Benny my beloved. They definitely all got together Cas included like who wouldnt at that point. Smth i didnt like is how wheneer they went back to purgatory, unlike how dean described it "360 battle 24/7" or some shit like that it was EMPTY. Like please,, i know the plot needs convenience BUT PURGATORY ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE CONVENIENT. But dean recrafting his own memories to make himself believe that he failed to save Cas rather than what he perceived as Cas giving up on him- hang on i dropped my jaw somewhere, gimme a sec i need to go find it-- LIKE. HHHH. The whole mind control shit going on with Cas because his ties to Dean had been severed (saw a post about that and loved it but cant rmb it) and HIM BEING THE ONE TO BREAK IT. The crypt scene mmmm i love. Want more. Mark of Cain dean was literally my favourite. A violent, mentally unstable man who also has bad mental health and is often covered in blood? Yes pls. Cas being with him every step of the way. I havent mentioned Sam in a while. Hes just kind of been there. Hate that he slowly became 2D. Far away in the background hes got his worried expression and is rocking, saying "Dean? Dean? Cas? Jack? Dean?" Like writers why did u strip his personality except for worry. Do Not get me started on the whole Amelia thing ill stab someone. But yeah cas saying he'll watch dean murder the world is my universe :). If someone said that to me id say "omg really?" And develop a huge fat crush (somehow). CHARLIE DYING WAS AN ABOMINATION When they brought back Eileen why not charlie like. Dont bring characters back at this point because theres all sorts of issues grr. Amara was cool af but i didnt like the whole amara x dean stuff because it was just weird. Luciferrrrr hes so girlypop i love him DEAN DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT CAS but thats only because lucy purposefully wore less clothes around him to distract him.

S12-14. Im running out of steam. MARYYY. It hurt to see Sam get along with Mary becsuse he never knew her as anything else while all dean wanted was a mom and that wasnt who she really was anymore. He loved her so much but couldnt break through that barrier of "it wasnt the perfect marriage until after she died" vibes. God that scene in s5 where its suggested dean saw +/ smelled what happened to Mary and he was literally backing himself into a corner BROKE me. Havent mentioned the Wayward sisters but please know they are so important to me they are my everything. Jack is also. Loved Kelly, very sad she had to die. Wanted Jack to be a baby but thats not good for television is it. But i love Jack so much hes such a sweetie who can kill with a thought. Alternate universe michael and Michael!Dean was epic af but michael dying like that was so anticlimactic gonna be honest i think they were just reaching for ways to lose Jacks soul. Garth GARTH!!! Hes so cute. I loved all those "hand recorded" episodes btw like ghostfacers and that one teen wolf type stuff. Dean hiding in his room is so me. Free Will Theory is so fucked up at this point ur sat there saying gods been pulling the strings this whole time and i supposed to be okay with it?? I so get why deans angry but i definitely think thats something Chuck emphasised (crappy excuse for crappy writing) to an extreme level because WHAT. Like dude. I cant even describe how out of character he felt at some times.

S15. Currently rewatching and cant rmb much of it. 3 characters dead in the first 3 episodes. They either kill off all side characters or we dont hear from them at all to tie up or shove away loose ends. I cant even talk abiut the finale please i cant rn im way too tired. It straight up didnt need to exist, it could've only been 19 eps. Cas. Castiel. He did want you my darling.

[heliotrope155]

Purgatory Arc my beloved. Love the parallel of Cas slaughtering all manner of demons and laying siege to hell to find Dean and then Dean slaughtering all manner of monsters and running around Purgatory looking for Cas.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

How do you go from Wanting to Having? I think this transition would be hard on my man Castiel.

I was going to do a cute little nice Cas Returns fic - so convinced, was I, that this would be teeny tiny that I only wrote it out here in a tumblr draft and not on my notes app! Anyway I have no idea how long this is and it is...uh...there's elements of cuteness I'd say, but it's more significantly emotional comfort of mostly Cas, ft selective mutism Dean. (Implied offscreen alcoholism.)

Cas is spat back out at 2am on a Tuesday, staggering hard onto the cold dungeon floor. It's pitch black in there, but with Cas’s angelhood restored (though still patchy) he can see well enough to find the stairs. When he tries the door, it's locked from the outside. As dungeons tend to be.

On pushing it open regardless, he finds that a cabinet had been pushed in front of it too. He's certain a human would have a hard time with it, but he shifts it aside with ease. He maneuvers it softly, aware of the time. Angels are always aware of the time. He felt the 40 years of battle through Hell for Dean's soul, he'd known the year-and-change of fight-and-flight through Purgatory, he'd counted every precious second of Jack's beloved company. The only place time didn't exist was the Empty. Or it didn't, until Cas broke it further.

He hopes, briefly, that those he woke up for aid had made it out as smoothly as him. Meg had, as ever, proved invaluable, and it had been a (tempered) joy to find Anna again. He sends silent thanks to Billie, for Their part in his return; They had been as angry as the role of Death allows that They'd been forced into Chuck's narrative once again, furious enough to value sabotaging his ending over Their objections to letting people back. Castiel had sworn that this would be the last time and Billie had said "Yes. It will." though he's sure they both know it's unlikely to be.

It's been 3 weeks and 5 days since he'd sacrificed himself to save Dean. It's strange; he'd thought since making the deal that if he was stolen away at his moment of happiness, he would fall into despair himself. To be ripped away at the time he found what he so deeply wanted, that would surely have broken him, and left him ready to be subsumed. Instead it had galvanised him. The Empty had made a fatal error; it had forgotten that stored within happiness there is always, always hope. Hope is intrinsic to happiness.

He follows that hope to the cracked open door of Jack's room: he's in there, sleeping, curled around his pillow affectionately. Castiel knows there's a knife under his pillow, but he still sleeps with his back to the door. Cas lets him be. He isn't quite ready to explain his absence in a way that would be kind to his son. He has someone else to talk to first.

Cas stops outside of Dean's bedroom. Light shines out from the cracks around the door, but he can tell through reaching out through the ether that Dean is sleeping. With a touch to the handle the door opens silently, and Cas closes it behind him, equally quiet. Every light in the room is on.

There are significantly more lights than there had been when Cas had last seen it. A cluster of floorlamps clutter the footspace, and every flat surface bares as many of the Men-of-Letters flat-roofed table lamps as it can fit. Even some of Dean's guns had been excised in favor of wiring to attach extra overheads that hang somewhat precariously above Dean's supine body.

Though Dean sleeps, a deep frown mars his brow. He's on his side too, facing the centre of the bed, though his arms cradle a bottle of scotch - opened and hours since spilled on the bedspread. To see him again in such bright light is a privilege. He finds, as he does every time that he has been reuinted with Dean, that he is indeed just as beautiful and vulnerable as he had remembered. Sometimes, near the beginning, he had made himself almost convinced that his feeling was exaggerated, his devotion practical and their connection shallow. Every time he found himself in the same room as Dean, he found himself proven wrong.

Privilege though it might be to see him like this, Castiel also wants to see his frown alliviated. Without regret, he turns his hand in the air, dimming every light to a soft glow. He spreads his hand on the mattress and wills away the wet spot that's crawled under Dean's face. Balancing one knee on the mattress Cas maneuvers the bottle out of Dean's hands, gentle and smooth, then stretches back to put it on the floor since the lights crowd the bedside.

Turning his gaze back to Dean, he finds his efforts were for naught. Without the bottle, Dean's hand has balled into a tight fist, squeezing so strongly that it shakes, and his frown has, if anything, deepened. He must be having a nightmare, though its the quietest Cas has ever seen him in one. Typically he thrashes, shouts, fights against fear even in his sleep. Now he's so still with it he seems almost dead, rigor mortised in his own bed.

Castiel remembers a time, less than a decade ago, when he would watch Dean's nightmares run their course. It wasn't impassivity that stayed his hand, but inertia. It had been an as yet uncured habit to stay out of the affairs of the Earthly, to restrict himself to speech-when-spoken-to. In short; he didn't know he could. Now, he has no such reluctance.

He curls his hand over Dean's left shoulder, a mimic of his print on his right, and slides a tender calmness into him, which finally relaxes Dean's posture. His brow smooths over, his jaw goes slack, and his breathing deepens. He's beautiful.

Then he snaps awake. A hand clamps hard over Cas’s wrist, holding him firmly and frightened eyes catch his in the dimness.

"Cas?" Dean's voice is hushed and croaked, as if he'd been sleeping for a long time.

A gentle irony strikes Cas, that Dean was resting while he was fighting his way home. It makes him smile, and that seems answer enough to Dean. He's grabbed fiercely and pulled into a thick hug, one that would render him breathless if he were a human. He holds Dean right back, deliberately softer. It feels important to be careful with him right now.

"I'm here, Dean. I'm sorry that I-"

Dean shoves Cas back and claps a hand over his mouth. Cas is caught in his serious, troubled gaze, and it takes a moment to interpret the slow shake of Dean's head.

Cas nods, and Dean draws his hand back. "I understand. I won't apologise."

Contrary, Dean huffs and rolls his eyes, as if to say, when do you ever? He doesn't speak. It's more than a little worrying. Not one to go unheard, though, Dean takes one of Cas’s hands in his and laces their fingers together, giving Cas a defiant expression. Cas’s heart catches.

"You don't have to," he makes himself say, "It's alright, Dean. What I said doesn't have to change anything between us. I love you, and that's..."

He was going to say, that's all you need to know, but Dean had rolled his eyes again and pressed a kiss to the back of Cas’s hand. At Cas's trailing off, he smirks, which slides away quickly into indecision. Dean tilts their joined hands back and forth together for a while, clearly thinking something through, and Cas lets him, trying not to squeeze too hard from his mounting, perilous hope. His hope in the Empty had been merely to live. To exist in a world where Dean knew the truth; that he is both lovable and loved. Now he is hurtling towards - something else.

It's funny (in the human, unfunny sense): he'd spent so long tamping down his possible happiness in fear of the Empty that now that it can be accessed freely, the idea of great happiness is a little frightening. What does a world look like where he gets what he wants? It's unimaginable.

He tries to untangle their fingers, at that thought, but Dean holds him fast, both with his grip and with a raised, unimpressed, eyebrow. It seems his attempt at absconding has made Dean's mind up. He reaches past Cas and opens the top drawer of his bedside cabinet, and drops a notebook into Cas’s lap.

The notebook is spiral bound and cheap-looking, its cover merely denoting the word 'Notebook' and its A5 size. The plastic of the cover is rough under Cas’s thumb. It's a far cry from Dean's leather bound hunting journals.

Correctly interpreting Cas’s tactile investigation as cowardliness, Dean impatiently flips it open with one hand to a random page.

You can have it.

That's what it says, all the way across the double page spread. Written over and over again in ball point pen, uncaring for or deliberately defeat of the evenly spaced blue lines meant to corral the written word.

You can have it, and variations thereupon: You can have it, damn it; could have fucking taken me, asshole; what do you think is supposed to make me happy now, you arrogant, stupid son of a bitch?

The me of the last is underlined so harshly that the paper is ripped. This outpouring is repeated on every page but the first, which instead says only, Come back. Those two words have been traced over enough that the message is engraved over the next three pages.

"Dean, I..." Cas begins, then has to stop, overwhelmed.

The magnitude of Dean sharing this work of grief is not lost on him. Perpetually making themselves vulnerable; is that not the story of their relationship? He follows the lines of Come back with his finger until Dean taps his chin up. He's leaned in close, the ends of his hair tickling Castiel's forehead.

He opens his mouth, but this time only manages a click in his throat that Cas thinks is supposed to be the start of his name.

"I understand," Cas says again, because he does. He brings a faintly trembling hand to the back of Dean's neck to keep him from pulling away - and, more, to keep himself from doing the same. "Dean, I never anticipated this. This is frightening to me. My heart is-"

Cas presses Dean's hand, still linked with his, to his chest, showing him the dizzying speed of its beating. Then he laughs, faintly, at having dropped another sentence:

"I think I left all my words in the dungeon."

Dean answers with a swift smile, his gaze radiating pure affection. He brings their hands to his own chest, where his heart beats just as fast. Dean kisses him, then, on his left eyebrow, then the cheek when Cas looks back at him.

"Dean," Cas says, half-warning, half-encouragement when Dean ducks around to kiss the ridge of his ear, and then "Dean..." in a half-moan when his teeth catch his throat.

Undeterred, Dean kisses whatever point of Cas’s face that strikes his fancy, rendering Cas a trembling mess before their lips even connect (which they do only when Cas holds Dean still and kisses him himself. The noise Dean makes is almost a laugh, and Cas will remember it for the rest of his life).

It's only a few minutes, though, before Cas has to stop. He's progressed from trembling to shaking, and the pleasant tingling across his limbs had turned sharply into pins-and-needles.

"I'm sorry," Cas says on an inhale, pulling away from Dean, and clarifies quickly, "I don't think I'm ready for this. It makes me too happy. I'm afraid. I can't lose you again."

Dean is tender with him, brushing Cas’s cheek soothingly with his thumb. His mouth and jaw work, and this time he gets out a "Ss", and then a "Shh".

He keeps on shushing as he wraps Cas back up in a hug, tight enough that all the rattling parts of Cas feel like they're slowly compressed back into his body. Dean breathes deeply and deliberately, and Cas copies him, noticing for the first time the room's stale-sweat-stink, and the familiar scent of second-hand gasoline in Dean's hair. It takes time, but eventually Cas is able to clutch at Dean too, which earns him an extra squeeze around his ribs.

"I love you," Cas says, and it feels too loud for the room, so he whispers it instead, "I love you, Dean."

Dean buries his face into Cas’s shoulder, in what could be charitably imagined as a nod. Neither of them says another word for the whole night.

They're both terrified of what they want to give - terrified of happiness. But in that awful, devestating, harrowing joy is the glimmer of what is going to get them through it: always, always hope.

[ardentpoop]

which spn episodes make u the happiest

see my list of ultimate favorite episodes for 12 eps that I can’t watch without feeling like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket cartoon-style. happy? horny? distressed? for some on this list it’s all three.

see also:

s1 scarecrow

s2 tall tales (peak early-seasons husbandwife-ification)

s4 it’s a terrible life (sam wesson)

s5 the curious case of dean winchester (old!dean makes me sweat)

s6 two and a half men (the original baby episode. cinema)

s7 shut up, dr. phil (samndean loudly paralleled with insane het couple incident number 200. scene where they’re trying to diffuse the tension btwn the couple and their own relationship issues are surfacing. yay!)

s7 slash fiction (leviathan!samndean funny)

s7 the mentalists (this one is an odd choice because it features dean being a dickhead bastard motherfucker about the amy situation. however I enjoy when sam’s giving dean the cold shoulder because of some evil shit he did and he has to wriggle uncomfortably abt it for a while. also a genuinely very funny episode otherwise.)

s8 blood brother

s8 taxi driver (I just think sam on a quest + sam and benny meet in purgatory + samndean passionate embrace in the woods….)

s8 pac-man fever (I just think samndean passionate embrace in the war room after charlie talks to dean about her dying mother….)

s8 the great escapist

s8 sacrifice

s9 I think I’m gonna like it here

s9 sharp teeth + s9 the purge specifically for sam’s perspective on the gadreel situation. essential pieces of samndean dialogue. I was clapping and cheering for sam so loudly.

s9 blade runners for sam as the colette to dean’s cain. also crowley pathetically nipping at sam’s ankles.

s9 alex annie alexis ann (I just really like alex and her mother. the samness that this has.)

s10 soul survivor (I had so much fun with this episode when it originally aired and I still look back on it fondly. and dean chasing sam through the bunker with a hammer will never not be cute and evocative.)

s10 ask jeeves (s10 sam being fondled by milfs dot com)

s10 the executioner’s song (I just think dean wrestling with cain who explains to him the events that will lead to him murdering his beloved baby brother. also dean falling into sam’s arms after he’s murdered The Father Of Murder and staring brokenly into nothing over sam’s shoulder. very cutesie.)

s10 the werther project for samrowena reasons and also dean stalking sam reasons.

s10 angel heart for tfw bad-parenting shenanigans. also cas and claire to dean “I’m going with you!” to which dean huffily asks sam “you wanna get in on this [too]?”

s11 just my imagination

s11 into the mystic

s11 red meat

s11 the chitters

s12 ladies drink free (sam and claire)

s12 the memory remains. goat man :)

s12 twigs & twine & tasha banes (super underrated)

s13 episodes 1 through 4 for absolutely impeccable samndean and jack. the strongest opening to any season since s4 To Me.

s13 the bad place for kaia intro, kaia & jack, sam & jack.

s15 the rupture for samrowena

s15 golden time for sameileen, samrowena, witch sisters. yuri episode.

s15 unity (iykyk)

[shallowseeker]

Added to this post.

Felt like it was important. Marvelous Marvin was a champion boxer during Dean's childhood (mid- to late 80s)!!!

Marvelous Marvin is also a nod to a Marvelous Marvin Hagler, a middleweight boxing champion and a callback to Dean's psychosexual crush and wrestling interests in Beyond the Mat. As far as angels go, Cas is something of a middleweight champion--not a "heavyweight" archangel, but not a lower-ranking angel either. Ergo, Marvin is also a stand-in for Silvia's unseen love rival.

FYI, this also strengthens my feeling that Dean and Cas may have bought Marvin together for Jack. Cas, because it's his style to buy soft, fluffy things for his loved ones (Claire & Grumpy Cat) and Dean, because he would've kinda wanted it too for the reference to a beloved boxing figure. (Dean was at least along for the ride, and he found it hilarious.)

Cas & Dean also bought Grumpy Cat together, after all. They went to the mall together. Cas is Grumpy Cat, and Claire is also Grumpy Cat. Cas's also Marvin, and Jack is also Marvin (and Dean can be Marvin too, if you like).

I also feel like Marvelous Marvin is a relatively new item in the household, or else we'd have seen it next to the photo of Kelly, combined with Kelly's laptop message, or on Jack's bed. There's a good chance it's also a birthday gift, like Grumpy Cat was.

BONUS: There are red boxing gloves in the Dean-Cave! AU Bobby boxes with Jack in 14x01. Jack dresses like Rocky Bilboa when he's training as a human! (It's the gray sweatsuit of the infamous Gonna Fly Now running scene!)

Dean's the wrestler. Jack's the boxer. I love it.

(Cas gets a cinematic boxing scene too in Purgatory, complete with slow-mo uppercuts. It's right before they get to the rift. Actually, a lot of snippets in season 8 are boxing-like for Cas, such as when he's hard to knock down in the warehouse when they try to save Samandriel. Or even as early as his season 4 fight with Uriel. In several scripts, like Good Intentions, Cas is referred to as "bobbing and weaving," which is a fighting phrase that derives from boxing.)

Anyway, I was delighted to notice these motifs.

ADDENDUM: Realistically, I think Jack may have been present when they bought the bear, and it may have been Dean who originally told the cashier that the bear was, "for his stepson, Ronald," which is an ominous reference to James "Jimmy" Stewart's stepson, Ronald McLean who was famously killed in Vietnam as a Marine.

[ananke-xiii]

My ranking of SPN seasons (based only on their PLOT) pt. 4 [final]

OKAAAAAY, LEEEEET'S GO!

Here, here and here I've covered from ranking #15 to #4 so let's see which seasons will be on the podium!

3. Season 8: This season really gave me life, it's absolutely one of the best. Plot-wise, I ADORED the introduction of the tablets and the Trials, whoever came up with this idea was pure genius. So Basically our heroes have to deal with the aftermath of the events in season 7: Dean has spent 1 year fighting monsters in Purgatory while Sam run away from his responsibilities and has found shelter in the arms of a woman. Cas seems nowhere to be found. The character who moves the plot forward is my beloved Crowley: while Dean was feeling pure in Purgatory with this vampire boyfriend (ihih), and Sam was guitl-trapped into adopting a dog (seriuosly? biggest red flag ever), our King of Hell was busy carrying the show on his shoulders. He kidnaps Kevin and orders him to translate the demon tablet. Since he's not stupid, he quickly understands that 1 leviathan table + 1 demon tablet = 1 angel tablet. Consequently, his quest for the latter begins. After 1 year of hedonism, our heroes realize that they had left poor Kevin behind while an astonished Castiel comes out of nowhere. The plot gets interesting. We find out that the demon tablet contains information on how to close the Gates of Hell. Comedy of error ensues since literally everybody thinks that the angle tablet would contain the same info as the demon tablet (really, guys? The ONLY smart person in the room about this was DEAN, as per usual). So what's written on the angel tablet? Surprise! We don't really know 'cause poor Kevin spent 6 effing months trying to translate half of the demon tablet so there's now way to know now! Cas makes the usual stupid choice and gets played by Metatron: he will undergo the Three Trials to close the Gates of Heaven. Meanwhile poor Sam undergoes the Trials to close the Gates of Hell. Eventually, Dean convinces him to stop the last trial otherwise he will die and poor Dean cannot live without his baby brother (same goes for little jealous Sam who, while literally dying, finds time to tell Dean that he feels left behind because Dean seems to love his Purgatory vampire and his trenchoated angel more than him (codependecy level: atomic)). Metatron fools everyone and cast a spell to make all angels fall. BOOM, season finale is EPIC. I really really enjoyed this season, it was so rich and full of turns of events but everything was coherent and engaging. What I didn't like is brainwashing Cas via Naomi. Plot-wise, it was unnecessary since Naomi literally reveals her original plan to Dean after episode 17 so, what was the point? Sure it gave us the memorable crypt scene and for it I am forever grateful. But in terms of plot, meh. It was weak. Also, it looks a lot like what happened with Godstiel in season 6 AND weird Cas in season 7 (poor Cas knows no peace of mind, literally).Once again Cas as a character is not fully in control and makes shitty decisions for reasons unknown? Mmmmh, me not likey.

2. Season 4: This season was explosive, I fucking loved it! First of all, as I've already said, I like when there's sort of a deadline in the plot and here we have a big one: Lilith is on her course to open the 66 seals that will free Lucifer from his cage. Problem is: nobody knows which ones she will choose since there are like 600 of them. Sam and Dean try to prevent the opening of the seals but things get complicated when the Angels enter the arena: they certainly look more like enemies rather than allies and for sure cause a lot of problems more than provide solutions. Previosly on Supernatural, Dean was rescued by Castiel from Hell (what an epic entrance, Cas!!!) after having spent 30 human years torturing and being tortured by demons, yay! Sam is now addicted to demon blood and nobody is pleased about it so our heroes have plenty on their plate. Plot-wise, this season was everything, it was a rollercoaster of turns of events, allies that become enemies, enemies become allies but wait no! they've been enemies all along! Castiel inadvertently changes the course of the story and creates real free will, Supernatural goes fully meta with the introduction of the Supernatural books by Chuck Shurley, angels are showed as scary, powerful creatures rather than comforting, merciful, ethereal beings ("Read the bible" LOL)... Man, what a fucking epic season! It felt serious but also carefree? It seems weird to say that but later on SPN gets increasingly tragic in tone so I'm very pleased with season 4 because it managed to balance everything out but with a lighter twist.

Season 11: while I was writing this, I was not sure which season would be number 1 but here I am, once again, in love with the plot of season 11. What can I say? "I'm a lover, not a fighter". So, the plot: the Winchester Bros Codependency Inc. has reached catastrophic levels: they are the ones to be thanked for the release of The Darkness into the world. The first interesting thing is that, for the first time ever, nobody really seems to know what to do. Thank God, there's the King of Hell (LOL) who promptly seizes the opportunity to take Amara and raise her hoping this would turn the events in his favours. However, he's unable to control her and soon Amara escapes wreacking havoc in the world. Not knowing what to do, Castiel decides to find Metatron, while Sam decides to go back into the Cage because he believes that Lucifer might be key to fighting Amara. Chaos ensues. Metatron doesn't really know shit, Lucifer same but he manages to escape via Castiel!vessel and we get Casifer (it was insane, I loved every minute of it!), the world is in shambles. A deus ex machina is needed: God/Chuck enters the chat. From here on, it all gets very philosophical and maybe that's why I frigging love this season. So, remember the Winchester Bros Codependency Inc.? Well, turns out Amara and God suffers from the same syndrome. They manage to (momentarily) find their balance while Dean (who had a bond with Amara because they both shared the Mark of Cain or whatever) decides to go to battle alone to convince Amara to stop or, if not possible, to die trying to save the world. And Sam Winchester is finally okay with this! Wow, progress, yes, right??? All ends so well that Amara gifts Dean with his friggin' mother who was dead 30+ years ago! Happy ending, much? LOL. I liked the simplicity of the plot, it's all very progressive, the pacing is slow but never boring, all characters still continue to make stupid choices but ultimately these don't bite them in the ass and they use them to grow... I don't know, I really enjoyed season 11. The only "negative" thing is that I wish the writers made Dean tell Cas something more meaningful than "you're our brother". Tons of metas have been written about it and yeah, I know, I know. Still, this season was all about "following the heart" so I'd have appreciated more honesty about this topic but hey, we all know how it ended so #nosurprise.

Okay, I'm done here! What do YOU think? Do you agree with my ranking? I'm curious, let me know!

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

PB Exchange Round 11 @profoundnet

For @cat-hesarose ❤️💙💚💛

Title: A Day in the Apple Pie Life

Pairing: Destiel

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Jack Kline, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Benny Lafitte, OMC Tony (discussed)

Word Count: 978

Warnings: None

Betaed by: Rachel

Tags: Jack is God, Jack is a preschooler, Archangel Castiel, Retired Hunter Dean Winchester, Married Castiel and Dean Winchester, Retired Hunter Castiel, Canon Divergent, Post 15x19 fix-it sort of, Castiel was Rescued From the Empty, Benny was freed from Purgatory, Established Castiel and Dean Winchester, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Vampire Benny Lafitte, Mechanic Benny Lafitte, kid fic, dadstiel, pb exchange round 11 space theme, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Jack Kline’s Parents

Summary: A day in the life of Cas and Dean with their son, Jack.

Ao3 Link

Buzz.

Buzz

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Castiel rolls over and falls on the floor with an “oof” from his lips. He grunts and gets up. He does a full body stretch, thankful that his footy pajamas are a bit big. He scratches his beard and walks to the front door trying to wake up enough to remember if he was supposed to have company or not.

He unlocks the front door and opens it, looking straight ahead then down to see his preschooler waving at the car backing out of their driveway. He pouts his lips with a quirk of a brow, then takes a step back.

Jack walks in, smiles on his face as he looks at his Dad, wipes his shoes off, and then takes them off, placing them next to the front door as usual.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” Asks Castiel, his voice still sleep rough.

“Play date, Dad. Remember? Weekend,” Jack replies as he takes off his backpack and sets it on the bench in their mudroom.

“Ah. Yes, I remember now. How was it?” Castiel closes the door and scratches his belly; the zipper always irritates him slightly if he doesn’t have an undershirt on, like today.

“It was fun! Tony has this really cool electric car you can ride in and he let me drive.” Jack adds, “Yes, we both had helmets on, Dad.”

Castiel smiles and cards his fingers through Jack’s blonde hair as he heads back to the living room.

Jack follows him and sits down on the couch next to him, grabbing the blanket his Dad left over him.

“Tired?” Castiel inquires. He grabs the tv remote and hands it to the preschooler, who is dressed in jean shorts and a blue t-shirt that matches his eyes.

Jack nods and scoots next to his father, then snuggles into Cas’ side as Jack finds a cartoon to watch.

“Should I take a look in Heaven while you rest?”

“No, Michael has it. I check in with him every few days, so if something comes up, I make sure to know,” Jack yawns the last word and rests his head on Castiel’s chest while zoning out to the tv.

The Angel wraps his arm and unseen wings around his son, kisses into his hair and takes his cell from the side table, going through messages and emails.

A few minutes pass and then Castiel hears Jack snoring. He grins and takes a selfie with him that he sends to Dean.

Meanwhile, Dean is at the shop working under the hood of a car when his pocket buzzes. He gets out from underneath and wipes his hands off before pulling it out. He grins the moment he sees the photo of Castiel in the green, hot dog footie pajamas and Jack cuddled up asleep.

He texts back: Glad to see my man and our son are having a good day. Take care of our baby. I’ll be heading home soon. Love you both!

Castiel’s blue eyes return to the tv, realizing Jack put on Scooby Doo. He leaves his phone open and waits a few minutes to see if Dean will reply.

When he reads his husband’s message, he grins and replies: Of course, Beloved. Would you mind picking up Chinese for dinner? Jack asked if we could have egg rolls for dinner. Figured we could get our usual and a few extra.

Dean: Yeah. Put in the order with 20 mins after closing for pick up.

Castiel: Will do. See you in a bit. Love you.

Dean: Love you too.

Dean’s fingers suddenly fumble with the phone, having been shouldered into by one of his best friends, Benny. Jack and Michael sorted through all the creatures in Purgatory and gave second chances to those who had not truly caused harm in their lives. Benny was the first one they brought back, of course.

“Quit it, Dean. He knows you love him. Let’s finish getting this installed.”

Dean glares at the vampire and sticks out his tongue. “You’re just upset because we are having Chinese and you don’t get to have any.”

Benny leans back and laughs, then settles before asking, “I’m okay with what I’ve got for dinner tonight. How’s Jack holding up?”

Dean shows Benny the picture of Cas and Jack.

Benny smiles wide and nods. “He’s getting big. Looks so much like his Daddy.”

Dean grins, reaching for a tool before putting his phone back in his back pocket. “That he does. That he does.”

—💙💚💛—

Jack and Castiel hear the purr of Baby’s engine pull up into the driveway and park. The preschooler runs outside to greet his Dad and help bring in food. “Dad!” yells Jack and runs right into the man’s legs, wrapping his arms around his thighs, happily. Dean puts the food bags down on his seat before picking up the blonde haired, blue eyed boy and hugging him tight.

Meanwhile, Castiel comes out and snaps his fingers, setting the food bags set on the dinner table. He catches Dean’s green eyes, smiling at his husband, and motions he’s going back.

Dean gives a slight nod and loosens his hug to look at Jack. “Hey, Bubby. How was your playdate with Tony?”

“It was so much fun. I got to drive a car but I had a helmet on.”

“I assume you mean a kid car, right? One of those battery powered cars you fit in?”

“Of course, Dad. I’m not big enough or old enough to drive.” Jack rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Dean chuckles and sets him down. He turns around and finds the bags gone. His brow furrows, and there is a frown on his lips as he closes the door.

“Dad took them in,” replies Jack at Dean’s confusion. He holds his hand out to Dean.

Dean’s face relaxes, and he holds Jack’s hand as they walk into the house together.

Castiel changed into jeans and one of Dean’s band t-shirts. “Picnic dinner?” Castiel asks Jack.

“Yep,” the preschooler confirms with a toothy grin.

That evening Dean and Castiel set out to have a picnic outside. It was Jack’s favorite thing right now, to have “picnic dinners” as he calls them. They would eat under the stars in their backyard around their small fire pit that Dean made last summer at Jack’s behest to make s’mores all the time.

This time, Castiel snapped his fingers and created the nice blazing fire for the cool evening they were having as Dean put food on a tray, making sure to keep everything separate for Jack and on plates for Cas and Dean. Jack sat there with the cooler next to him and passed out drinks: soda or juice for him and beer for his Dads.

They dived into eating in silence as Jack’s eyes glowed gold and peered into the night sky. It was a purplish-tinted black sky with twinkling stars of yellow, red, blue, and orange. Jack, of course, knew which were stars and which were planets. He would point them out through space between bites of food. He would even tell them about galaxies and nebulas that were forming. Despite having true God powers, Jack never lost his amazement at the universe around him.

He was very lucky to have wonderful Dads who were very accepting of everything he dealt with as he balanced being God and a preschooler.

Once dinner was eaten, the three laid down on the blanket and stared up into the sky. Jack was in the middle and started explaining about constellations and their stories of cultures that have been lost to the ages. Dean and Castiel exchanged a loving look before focusing back on Jack.

[sammygender]

SEASON EIGHT FINAL TAKES

LIKES

- KEVIN. <3. my beloved. he deserves so much better.

- crowley main villain would be so good if they utilised him consistently….

- trials would have been so insanely good if they’d been throughout the whole season instead of in like. The last 5 episodes.

- its nice that sam got to be happy with a girlfriend and a dog for a little bit before he was inevitably dragged back into toxic codependency w dean

- meg!

- dean is a dick in a way that gradually becomes interesting

- brainwashed cas is a cool concept!!

- i finally started actually going hard for destiel 8x17 was crazy…. i need you….

in short all the concepts this season were cool and interesting

DISLIKES

- killed meg :( just as i was starting to really like her

- dean is a dick

- sam has like no arc until the trials (why the fuck do the trials start so late nothing happens)

- benny. i’m sorry. i had zero interest in his entire character. they picked the wrong time to introduce him because by the end id warmed to him a little because dean had stopped annoying me quite so much and i could appreciate how fucking gay they were. but like. how could i want to see dean’s stupid macho vampire boyfriend at the start of s8 after he kept yelling at sam for trying to heal and break the cycle and move on. i didn’t even want to see dean

- purgatory was fucking boring. that’s not what purgatory is. go read the bible

- as always, cas pops in and out of the season, only showing up for good episodes and skipping the bad ones, which is a shame, because bad episodes would’ve been vastly improved by cas

execution of everything was awful. first half was just so mediocre. spent the whole time waiting for the trials. Trials were great though! finale stretch was really good which i think means i’ve put it over s6

rankings for me personally rn

s4 > s5 > s3 > s1 > s7 > s2 > s8 > s6

s2 is much better than s7 but s7 means the world to me so it has to be higher sorry. (I liked s7 a lot!). s5 is also better than s4 but s4 is when i first became a true samgirl so it is beloved to me

[wanderingcas]

i literally can't stop talking about this lighthouse keepers fic so hi hello let me tell you some more about it

decided to set it in 1949, a few years after ww2

dean was drafted in 1942 and is a vet suffering from major ptsd

cas was a priest, so he avoided the draft, but has a dark past all of his own (religious trauma my beloved)

the winchesters looked after this particular lighthouse on the maine coast for generations - John, Dean, and Sam included. however, John died during a storm under mysterious circumstances - which is why Cas got the job to replace him

saileen stans rise, they're married in this and have a whole ass family together

the ending that i thought of!!! i am feral and foaming at the mouth!! i won't spoil anything but just know it's romantic, it's dramatic, it's intense

the vibes are still purgatory but with a lighthouse <3