#purest love I’ve probably received from another human

[bewitched-08]

When a baby doesn’t want to let go of you 🥺

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hi! here's part 1 of the ask XD: So I have this friend whom I try to love unconditionally but she is not as involved in the friendship, but I wanna try to still be there for her just in case something happens to her in the future plus, but most of my friends say that I should leave her if she is not as invested and I started thinking maybe there is something wrong with me? I consider my loves ones my purpose/goal, meaning and dream, I can't leave her! Since you are very insightful, thoughts? XD

Hey there. <3 <3 I'm so so so sorry you had to wait this long for my response. I've been thinking about you and chewing over the right words. Sometimes it's hard for me to muster up words. I hope these words are slightly okay and aren't coming too late. Also sorry that it's long. XD

I've been in friendships I consider imbalanced; one of us feels a much greater love for them than vice versa. I've been in both directions: as the person feeling the greater love, and as the person receiving that love.

Loving another person is beautiful. I think it's the most beautiful part of the human soul. Wanting them to be happy and being willing to help them through challenges is some of the purest things a human can feel. The fact you are someone filled with love and devotion shows that you have some beautiful things in your heart. <3

Unfortunately, I do believe that imbalanced relationships are not healthy until they get handled. It doesn't have to mean there's something wrong with you. Sometimes it just be. But it might indicate the relationship is not in good, stable equilibrium; it might indicate you will have to adjust your behavior; it might indicate there are psychological things you have to process (depends on your situation); and it might indicate both of you are getting unintentionally hurt by this current imbalance.

Several times I've been in relationships where I loved that person way more than vice versa. In both notable cases, they were uncomfortable with me. I felt like I was straining to be around them because I loved them so much, but I felt in pain too because I didn't get enough good time from them. I wanted my happiness in them, but I couldn't actually get secure happiness from them because they weren't invested in me in a level that'd satisfy my emotional-psychological strainings. And when I wanted to help them and got turned down, I felt extremely frustrated. I wanted!! to!!! help!!!!! them!!!! :(( One time the friendship would have been healthy if we'd both felt the same, but it wasn't meant to be. Another time, while I believed I was acting out of the right amount of devotion, that devotion was good and correct, I actually had insecurities I had to deal with. My devotion was an inability to accept my reality. I was emotionally unstable. I am not saying this is what you have; I'm just saying this is what happened to me one time.

On the other hand, I've had multiple situations where people adored me. Either I felt so-so about them, or they were friends, just not to that extent. And I will admit, it's very unfun being on this side, too. I knew I couldn't give them what they wanted. I didn't want to hurt them, but I couldn't magically create a type of love in me I didn't have for them. I didn't want them to be the people I was confiding in or relying on for my worst struggles; I had other friends who fulfilled those roles and I was sufficient that way. In the imbalanced relationships, I'd enjoy hanging out and going to the coffee shop once in a while, sure! I wanted to be casual or everyday friends with many of 'em! But it could easily accidentally feel like they were hanging over me and not giving me breaks I sometimes needed. Or it felt... I mean... there's times where someone who is romantically in love with you makes you feel awkward, and I absolutely believe there's the platonic equivalent when it's that unrequited level of friendship-love. And because the intensity is unrequited, the level of love the lover feels is never going to be matched, and nothing you do will make that change. The only thing you can do is adjust yourself and your actions and try to get that unrequited straining tampered down over time.

I'm not saying you are obtrusively hanging over the other person or annoying them. I don't know your situation's details and I'm not going to presume them. <3 It very well could be the case that other folk is just indifferent. It could be the case you're simply at a miscommunication about basic balance needs. So I'm agnostically covering all scenarios. But when I hear about situations like these where the love is imbalanced, my go-to response is: the person who's in further has to back off.

Because at this point: it's about boundaries of comfort. You have to prioritize the comfort of the person who feels their space is being (for lack of better words, sorry) "invaded".

Perfectly fair friendships sometimes need to readjust their boundaries so everyone feels comfortable. Backing off doesn't need to be cutting your friend out of your life. I think it depends on the situation. If you're actually friends where both are willing to work with the other, sometimes it can be successfully communicated out. I've had that work in my friendships.

You can learn what your friend's boundaries are, and then you'll have to learn how to stick with them. It might feel unpleasant when your heart is screaming to do and be more, and I sympathize. I know we can't turn our hearts off. Hearts will continue to yearn. But I think you and I can both understand that ultimately, in loving our friends, the most loving act we can do is make sure they feel comfortable with us. If that means your buddy only wants you as a sometimes-go-to-the-mall-with person, then that's the role you do; to go further is to breach into an intimacy they don't want. Over time, by acting carefully, hopefully your screaming heart will not scream so bad, and you and your friend will both feel happier with how your day-to-day interactions go.

In other cases, the imbalance might be irreparable. If the other person is legitimately indifferent or disinterested in you, you are investing a ton of spoons and emotional energy that are taxing you and helping nobody. They're not actually your friend. This type of person doesn't want your devotion, and while that kindness is wonderful, you're not actually going to be able to help them. In such a case, your other companions could be right, and that leaving the person is the best choice you could make. Kindness takes a lot of energy, and we are only hurting ourselves if we are over-investing in someone who literally doesn't care. It's not healthy emotionally, it means you don't learn how to move on and allocate emotions, and you burn yourself out for someone who wouldn't bat an eyeball and help you. Good friendships are ones where people are going to help each other to at least some extent, right? Because you deserve that, too!!!

I've seen plenty of one-sided "friendships" where the endless lover gets manipulated, taken advantage of, and abused to serve the other, uncaring person. I would be really sad if you ended in a situation like that one, because damn, those mess folks up. In such a worst case scenario as that one, "helping" the person, "loving" them, just perpetuates and "justifies" their bad behavior to you (and probably others), and means every action you do doesn't help them... it hurts you, and that's the only result. Again, I'm not saying this is you. I am NOT. But fucking hell, I've seen it happen a lot, and it's dangerous, and it's why love also involves knowing when to say "no" and step aside, right?

There was one time I was deeply in love with someone who was toxic. But even though she was toxic, I couldn't leave her! I wouldn't abandon her!! That's what I thought. [sigh] Leaving her ended up being the best thing I did, and the best thing that happened to her, too. That was a greater, more loving, more humble choice than the anxious (frankly very unhealthy) paranoia I had trying to keep her in my life. And I have majorly psychologically healed and gotten better, stabler relationships with everyone around me since making that choice.

Human love is like a candle. It's a beautiful light shining for the edification of others and everyone's happiness. But what good is it if you burn yourself out in an empty room? All you do is harm yourself, lose your light, and nobody else receives it. And if you're a candle, you probably need other candles to relight you, too; we're reciprocal beings. Considering your loved ones your entire purpose, meaning, and dream ergo could end up to nothing but personal harm if you pursue something like that empty, dark room. It doesn't even have to be a malicious room... just... indifferent to anything you could do. </3

I hold a huge value to devotion and loving friends. None of my answers are intending to say, "curb love!" I do believe in sacrificing for others when they need it, and I do believe in showing kindness to folks who'll be buttheads to me. But I also believe that we need to make sure we are in good relationships where we're being cherished too. Whether your situation is one where the friendship can continue after a good conversation about comfort, or it's one where you're better off investing your heart elsewhere, I believe this might be a hard case of learning restraint.

I'd say it's restraint in how we channel our love.

We can still love unconditionally while knowing there are boundaries we won't cross and energy we won't extend. We can always give people love to the degree to which each relationship merits it. Sometimes someone is out of our boundaries and that's just how it is. All interactions can be made with love in mind. A best friendship and an acquaintanceship both involve love, but each type of relationship has different actions we can and cannot take to make the other comfortable, or make the relationship solid and balanced. This is not limiting love. I believe this is using love right.

Because there's so many instances where friendships aren't bad, aren't toxic, aren't shitty, aren't doomed or something... they're just imbalanced, and balancing is hard! Nobody is doing anything wrong-wrong, and love is good, we just aren't channeling our love right or designating our emotional energies well. There are successful cases where folks I know initially made me uncomfortable but stepped back to my comfort zone. We stayed friends and have had a good time. I've felt better about being with them after having conversations and making adjustments. Sometimes it took a while because hearts HAVE EMOTIONS, but! We refound balance! Our friendships returned to a stable, healthy state. And I've felt better after receiving feedback from friends saying I've exceeded their bounds, and learned (ever-so-painfully) to step back and tell me heart there's places I cannot go.

I wish you the best with finding balance. Take care, have an awesome one. <3 Rock on.

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Obey Me! Soulmate AU’!~ Leviathan

This one I really like! Its a bit longer than the other two. Also, I’m confirming here and now that I’m definitely making part two’s because this one is far from over! OH! And SPOILERS FOR THE GAME I just got to the part where they explain that Satan was born from Lucifer’s anger, like- wasn’t expecting that! I mean, I remember them mentioning that Satan wasn’t there when they were angles, but I never thought he was born that way. Interesting!~ Also also, I’m not sure if I wrote Satan’s character all that well. He’s next up and I’m a bit nervous about writing for him, but I’ll do my best!! 

Link to Opening Paragraph. 

Leviathan

Having spent most of the day searching for Mammon's soulmate, the seven brothers reluctantly went back to the Devildom to regain strength and think of a more efficient way of searching for the next day. And take showers, because, as Asmodeus had stated previously, the sun was HOT. Nervousness wracked Leviathan's body to the point where he couldn't even work up the nerve to play a video game.

All he could do was lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking about what his soulmate would be like. Lucifer's was a beautiful, energetic ghost hunter with a tendency to babble, Mammon's was their human exchange student, though there was no surprise there. The two of them were crushing so hard on each other, that the other brothers had almost broken a few times and shoved them in a closet together.

Or maybe that was just Levi? He'd seen it in a couple of anime before and in the end, the two lovers always end up confessing and sharing their first kiss. Was that what meeting his soulmate was gonna be like? Poor Levi barely slept a wink that night. And now, as the other brothers discuss plans for the new day, he still can't think about anything but his soulmate. What is she gonna be like? Will she like anime and manga just like him? Or will she be a boring normie like his brothers?

She is supposed to be his soulmate, so it would really suck if she didn't like Ruri-chan! What if she's never even heard of anime? Then he gets to teach her all about it! "Levi, are you even listening?" Levi jumps, not expecting to hear Lucifer's voice calling out his name. Usually, that means something bad is about to happen . . . "Uh, no, I spaced out." Lucifer sighs.

"As I was saying, Lord Diavolo has made special arrangements for us in the human world. Given his kind and generous nature, he has called in a few favors to help us navigate the human world much faster and through more secretive means. Us getting caught could mean exposure of both the Devildom and Magic and could have devastating effects." "How kind of Lord Diavolo to grant his favorite such luxuries," Satan speaks up as he takes a sip of his beverage.

"Yes. Lord Diavolo's generosity knows no bounds. Now, with that settled, we leave in an hour. I suggest you get your ducks in a row and prepare yourselves. Levi, we find your soulmate next." They leave the breakfast table one by one, all heading to their respective rooms to 'prepare', whatever that means. Levi sure doesn't know what it means.

Does he shower again? Change his clothes? Would he look more presentable in his school uniform or his normal clothes? What if she hates him . . . I mean, he is an otaku. While he takes pride in that, he's not oblivious to the negativity otaku's receive in the human world.

They're generally looked down upon, and though he can take the criticism from his brothers, from the girl that's supposed to love him . . . He doesn't know if he can handle that. Taking his handheld gaming device off its charger, Levi places it into a small bag along with extra games and a manga to read in case he gets bored. Who knows how long their gonna be in the human world this time. Should he take a change of clothes?

Deciding it best, he folds up some clothes and places them into the bag and throws it over his shoulder. He doesn't think that it's been an hour, maybe twenty minutes, but he heads out towards the dining room anyway and places his stuff down. A loud commotion in the kitchen spikes his curiosity, so he follows the noise to find his three brothers, Mammon, Satan, and Beelzebub.

"What's going on?" Satan looks up at Levi with anger in his eyes. Levi has known his brother long enough to not take it personally. The anger is not directed towards him. "What's going on is that the 'help' Lord Diavolo gave Lucifer is a portal key!" Satan sighs at Levi's confused face.

"It's a key that allows us to go anywhere in the human world we want. I've been trying to get my hands on one for years, and now I find out that Lord Diavolo has had one just laying on his desk this whole time?!" He begins to pace, a sure sign that his anger is getting out of control. It's his attempt to try and calm himself before things escalate.

"The worst part is that he didn't even know what it was until that sneaky little butler of his told him to give it to Lucifer!" Mammon, not quite understanding that this was Satan's time to rant, cuts in. "What's so special about it anyway? Sure, it gets us to where we're going, but why do you find it so important?

The only use it could ever have to me is a pretty penny at the pawnshop!" He says, laughing. Satan glares at him. "It's not because it's worth something that I want it. It's because its made with one of the purest forms of magic from the human world! Not even Soloman would be able to comprehend the intricacies it takes to make such an item.

It's the craftsmanship, the number of years a human puts into making the keys, the effort they exert! A fragile human making something so powerful and beautiful? Hardly heard of!" Levi rolls his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me! How many times have you gone off on a tangent about some video game and forced all of us to listen?" Levi scoffs.

"That's different!" "Not really . . . " The sixth brother Beelzebub speaks up, crumbs falling from his mouth. "Whatever! It doesn't matter anyway. All that does matter is that we have the key now. The faster we find our . . . Soulmates, the better." Mammon laughs obnoxiously while sitting on the counter.

"Good for you, guys! I think I'm gonna hit up a human world casino! My luck seems to be off the walls, so naturally, I'm gonna bring home some intense bacon!" "Absolutely not." The brother's pale as the stern voice of Lucifer breaks through Mammon's stupid laugh. The second-born grunts. "And why not? I found my human!"

"And so have I, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you wander around the human world by yourself. And that goes for everybody. You are all going no matter who you find, so I can keep my eyes on you at all times. Understood?" Satan tsks, and crosses his arms, still slightly ticked off about the key. But, they all agree, mostly because Mammon set loose in the human world sounds like the Biblical Apocolypse.

After the seven brothers finish up getting ready, Lucifer gathers them in the dining room. "This key was given to us by Lord Diavolo. It's true that he . . . Didn't actually know what it did . . . But none the less, we should still keep is safe to return it to him when we're done. Any questions?" The brothers shake their heads, Satan still upset but not wanting to cause another argument.

"Good. Levi, I believe it is your turn." Lucifer hands a confused Levi the shiny golden key. With a deep breath, Levi enters the key into the lock on the kitchen door (put there by Lucifer when Beel's sleep-eating was bad a few years ago) and thinks of a place. A lab of some sort . . . With white walls and lots of windows. Leviathan turns the key and opens the door, revealing crispt white walls and blue-tiled floors.

They all enter, skeptical of where exactly the key led them. "What is this place?" Mammon wonders, scrunching his nose. "It smells terrible." "Sorry, sorry! That would be the bleach!" A voice with an English accent speaks from down the hall and startles them.

"_____ and Joshua spilled a whole tub of vinegar in the main hall yesterday and bleach seems to be the only thing that gets rid of the smell." A man wearing a long white coat comes walking out of one of the rooms along the long hallway and extends his hand.

Lucifer shakes it hesitantly. The man pushes up his smart-looking glasses and smiles at the brothers. "My name is Damian, and I run this floor of Greenville Labs. What can I do for you gentleman?" Levi steps forward, slightly nervous. "We're looking for someone . . . I think you just mentioned her." "_____?" Levi nods.

"Ahh, what has she done this time?" Damian shakes his head and gestures for the men the follow him to the room he had just come out of. "Whatever it is, I'll pay for the damages. No need to get the cops involved."

Levi scratches the back fo his neck and laughs nervously. What kind of person is this girl? "Actually, she didn't do anything . . ." "Oh? Well, that's good. You're probably here about her project then?" "No-" "Yes, that's exactly why we're here." Lucifer agrees, placing his hand on Levi's shoulder.

"Good, good! Uh, disregard what I said before then hehe. They are good kids! When they want to be." The sound of a door slamming and heavy footsteps echo in the hall as Damian's eyes widen. "Oh, Be careful, I just washed the- floor . . ." A young boy comes running in and slips, falling on his backside.

"Ha! Dumbass- gah!" A girl walks in, slipping and falling in the same spot. Damian sighs. "I present to you, Dumb and Dumber." A hand reaches up from the floor and slams on the desk, pulling the girl up.

"What does that make you, Damian? Dumbest?" She pulls herself up the rest of the way and straightens out her clothes. "I mean, who washes the floor and DOESN'T put a wet floor sign!" "To be fair, the only reason it HAD to be washed was because of that rediculous stunt you and Joshua pulled!"

"I thought that was hilarious actually," Joshua says, standing up and leaning on _____. This makes Leviathan's blood boil. He can feel it in his bones; this girl is his soulmate. Who does this normie think he is, touching HIS soulmate?!

"Whatever, I've got stuff to do, levels to beat, Joshua to leave crying like a little baby after I kick his ass in Super Smash Bros. Later losers!" _____ pulls Joshua by the hand out of the lab. Lucifer sighs. This ones gonna be a handful.

[adorabledonutunicorn]

New Eyes

CW: Some internalized homophobia

Warning: This is 15 pages on Google Docs so it’s long. This is a combination of poems I’ve written over the past year or so (if my timeline is correct) about realizing and processing through some of my past crushes. It took me til version 4 to shift my perspective and not be ashamed of how I felt about these people. It’s kind of depressing to think that it took me no less than 4 years to get rid of the shame surrounding my sexuality, and even still I have my days, but in this case it makes for a nice arc that comes to accept everything by the end. In case you’re interested here’s a brief background on each person. I’m gonna go off since it’s already the length of a chapter of a book lmao.

1. She is literally the reasons for all of this. She was someone who I’ve known since middle school because we were in the “accelerated math group” together. She was always popular, but something always struck me differently about her. During our sr year of high school I sent her a message on Facebook and we had a few conversations on there. We were the only girls in our math class by this time and tbh we had more conversations online than we ever did in-person...we even sat next to each other in class omfg.

2. This one is about a friend I met in college. She was pretty, full of joy, and has a nice smile so I’m a very simple person when it comes to being attracted to people lol. I forced myself to get over it quickly and I’m thankful we still talk sometimes despite never really hanging out outside of the Christian group we were in lol.

3. Damn, this one’s about the friend referenced in “To see her smile again”. She’s literally just too perfect and the day I realized I got butterflies when she walked into the room was the day I fully realized/accepted that okay there’s more to me than being straight. I still don’t know how or why she loved me so well.

4. This one is about a friend I met in college, literally on the first day I was there. We were both in the same orientation group and were both so awkward we somehow stuck around together all 4 years lmao. Idk if she’s just awkward around me only or everyone, but by the end I could feel some kind of unspoken tension between us, especially after we went to see a play for the theatre class we took that was about Stonewall lol. A part of me wanted to say something but another part of me thought that maybe she was in a different place in the same journey of discovering her sexuality. The funniest part is that on Valentine’s Day I think a year ago we DM’ed on Instagram for 5 hours str8 (gay).

5. Aah yes, just another one of my Twitter crushes. Jk the first Twitter crush oooh! It took me like a good 6 months to fully accept said crush and like another 6 months to fully get over it. Truly I wish her all the best and all the healing.

V1.0

Once upon a time, These eyes grazed the truth

They saw the surface They saw someone With so much purpose

A life with a heart Transcending barriers and A mind with the ability To achieve great things

A person so pure Hiding their true self within Yet solid and confident in Serving

It was this willingness Intelligence Freedom To get lost in music and dance Goodness Integrity That led me to believe You were one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen.

And this, Is the truth that these eyes Could see

Objectively, Honestly, Truthfully, As transparently as Any teacher Any observer Any friend Knew you to be.

Yet still, My mind seems To have forsaken me.

What I know now Is what I failed to admit then What I replay in my head Is what I am slowly learning To accept within

It brings me shame To let these emotions Finally come in

And it brings me pain, Because that's not how I want to remember How and why This was perhaps, the "best" end.

I want to remember The objective observations The person we all saw, Not just me

I want to remember Rightfully, The words you said to me

I want to remember How I tried to look inside you So deeply

And how you gracefully Eloquently Opened up to me.

All I hope Is that these memories mean At least half of what they do to you As they do to me.

Even if I Can now look in this mirror And see, Say these words to myself Breathe And let them be,

I will never forget What you meant To everyone You met.

But because I tried To look so deep Because I tried To love you as you were, As you are I ended up finding something Only these eyes now Could see.

I cannot say That I fell in love With a fantasy

Because love Is so vast and deep

But there was A new feeling inside of me An emotion I would hide Because I never wanted it to be Outside For anyone To see.

I look back at these moments That replay inside my mind From every bathroom anxious tear I cried Unknowingly Became the catalyst For this "why"

Why was I so anxious And afraid? But that won't explain Why did I even feel The way that I did?

I didn't want to I pushed it down So easily It took me almost 5 years To finally accept This story That lingered inside of me.

Once I see A heart, soul, human life To love, I jump in wholeheartedly

Because I guess That is just who I am, Who I was made to be.

But I didn't expect That I'd be here Confronting these Treacherous conflicting feelings That to the casual observer Make it seem like It was all for me, Self-motivated Self-intentioned Just to set my eyes on something I could not define At the time.

If not me If I can't believe it, I hope you know Remember And see That regardless of what I felt The words we never said Still give you more Than a thousand reasons To keep on breathing And to keep on being The beautiful person We all knew You'd grow to be.

V2.0

Imagine What this heart can do Imagine What this heart can feel What these eyes Can see inside Before the mind Redraws the lines.

Imagine God's truth Willfully entering the soul Revealing more

Than I could ever know But all that I feel Is beyond words.

Imagine That what is beyond words Is not beyond shame

In fact, Shame has now met these emotions And tainted this love, The love the Lord has given To this heart of mine

This love that was pure Of good intention Is now questioned, Because of the reality, My reality, The way my mind sees

I can only perceive What these eyes gaze upon And the brain processes, filters, Through its many recognized colors

I cannot see What was not meant for me And what is Beyond me.

With these eyes, Imperfect and perhaps blind, They let me look upon a face Labeling it within me as shame Instead of grace

I used to be able to see, What I thought so innocently, Now a darkened fiend Of what was made A friend

What has now surfaced Became lies What has harbored Is judgment Internally, And nocturnal I have become

This is merely Not what I wanted to see But rather A predator where it meets its prey Onlooking the target Ready to strip Its life away

But here, This life is dignity Of the soul across the room Once the prime and primitive Instincts and defense mechanisms activate, There is no more reason, No way That words will ever be able To explain.

This Feels lost Feels lonely Like no one but me Will understand clearly That I love Deeply Wholly I dare say beautifully Whether or not these feelings Are just my feelings Or beyond Only my reality.

Because reality Is subjective Different between both you and me But somehow still We may find common ground Where the images our minds outline Overlap and see the same

It is here, where more than I Can finally understand. It is here, Where words are no longer the enemy But the potion and antidote To this shame

For this shame Has met humility Vulnerability The courage To be me

Even if The whole world will never know I know the whole world Will never understand, I still stand With my heart tall Convicted with truth Rooted in the Lord's Truth That you are so beyond and Better than beautiful It fills me With awe.

V3.0

These new eyes that have seen Change unfolding Have also seen Love unraveling.

From all the sweetness And fondness Of pure untarnished memories, To what I don't know if I know How to see,

This is me Raw and untouched Naked and ashamed To have loved The friend who was Never meant For me.

Blessed was I To have found one So faithful and kind For once not out of reach But yet still Out of my league With all the riches Of intelligence to joy And of course A smile that was not For the faint of heart to see

I have loved before, For it was here I found love In the purest form First, foremost, Of friendship

It was here Where every good thing That resonated inside me Grew tenfold With this unknown blessing That I had fathomed to know Beyond blessings ever received.

Yet, Little did I know, It took courage To love this way. Selfless Never ill-intentioned I tried to be Until the end.

It was generously That she gave me And so kindly Yet humbly I tried to give back Never feeling like What I gave was enough, As she so gracefully Accepted everything Speaking to me without words It was more than enough.

There is not a single soul That I have met Who could ever be Her Anything like her, Who could also be Or will likely ever be My friend.

It was on the days We left, Where our presences departed Where I had no regrets

But it was then When I realized The sadness and grief Was yet the loss Of love, Including the Lord's Love.

It was she, Who lamentably taught me How butterflies felt Inside me All the way To fear and shame Of this very discovery

As well as The best hugs Any person may probably ever give me.

There is no one like her, And there is no one better for her Than her husband, And this I know, It is he who I know To be faithful, kind, Courageous, righteous, Steadfast and Unconditionally loving

But somehow, I ask the Holy Spirit Did you bring her Here To teach me About love, faithfulness, and joy? Did you bring her Here To show me light in the world Once more? Did you bring her here To have a friend for once, To give me courage to speak, To love a friend deeply? And did you bring her here So that I could love so deeply That I found this part of me?

I can still say To this day That I have No regrets About anything I Have written or said To this friend, The greatest gift, A catalyst For this journey, And the one who gives The best hugs With the sweetest smiles I’ll ever be blessed to receive.

V4.0

Once where A new era began, A seed was planted In the mere probability of our existence

We did not find each other We stumbled upon one another In a way where awkwardness Was the main contributor To our similarities

Yet you stayed And I of course, stayed Somehow we relished In a relieving familiarity

Perhaps, It brought us together For that reason.

But what we had And what we have Has grown from a seed,

Watered, waiting We are here Where I never thought we would be: Friends now far away, Yet still able to relate

But even then What does it mean? It may not mean much of anything.

For a fleeting feeling Lines the nerves of my being Extremities tense While the rest of me at peace

For this is the only awkwardness We have known to overcome, Time and time again, —I never know Where your thoughts go

There is so much to be learned So much we will never know But in each other, We have still grown.

Maybe this is the best feeling I would never have known If I were not able To express it freely

Maybe one day Our lives not our hearts Will collide Telling the same story Of who we were always meant to be.

V5.0

To Jade, A jewel of always Every color but green,

Your story is a wonderful epic, Tales of travels That never grow old

They write an unapologetic narrative Of every highest mountain top And every lowest valley

You have climbed as high Just as much as you Have fallen down and cried

And I, I so wished to see and to learn Of every broken piece to your life That you thought you needed to earn

But I, Even with good intentions Fell into a hole I could not climb

I embraced every part At the expense of my joy Only adding To my despair

But you taught me What strength and courage Could be

To say it is easy To wake up every day Without the one Who loved you most Is irreparable As much as he was irreplaceable

To say the scars it leaves behind Are mere wounds of the flesh to be tended to Would simply be a lie

But still I Fell in love with What it could look like To see you wake up every morning And choose life

For there is nothing more brave As the story you write And continue to write.

I still stand by And wish to look upon your life To see how far you've come

But at least I've passed beyond The emotions I feared would last forever

Back then I was confused Back then I was still learning And I thank you for helping me Find who I am

Even if I can never say I fell as deep for love's sake, If I ever find you Stumble upon Or see you I will find the reddest rose And gift it to you

For the honor and memory of your brother And for the honor and memory of you Because sometimes words Will never be enough To describe what will always Be blooming in you (And how you've allowed me To blossom too).

Conclusion / V1.5

Without what happened that night These essays would never have turned to poems

Without the words we never said I wouldn’t have these reasons why I write

You are still as beautiful as the day I met you And the day I left you when I accepted You will remain a memory, not a friend meant for forever Or even for a second

But still, I do not hesitate To smile and be embarrassed Knowing now all That I did not know then That brings clarity, closure, and an end.

I never loved you But I definitely liked you Enough to zone in on Every beat of your heart

Enough to make you see Who you were always made to be And how worthy you are To be you, To be everything you are.

And so here I remain, Content and at peace Knowing I am allowed To never-more be ashamed.

[mr-mikey]

Oh boy, I’m finally getting around to my blue lions write up.

Overall I quite enjoyed the character arc based story of azure moon. I really enjoyed Dimitri’s empathetic nature and his softhearted beliefs. I really appreciate that he wants attempts to understand why House Gautier feels that it needs crests and the lance of ruin while not agreeing with the choice to disown Miklan on the basis of crests alone.

My mother suffered schizophrenia though her life, and seeing the worst parts of his issues brought back memories of what she had to deal with. I could see the ugly parts that sometimes reared it’s head growing up. Even while Dimitri was at his worst I still found myself agreeing with quite a few things he said. I could see Dimitri suffering from the same heavy guilt that my mum felt whenever she apologized for the things she’s said in the past. 

And once he recovered I could even see a similar kind of guilt in Dimitri that I had to deal with in the aftermath of my mum’s passing away. 

I also felt strongly drawn to Dimitri’s ‘Do you not believe in the power of the people to join together and rise up? Humans are weak creatures. But they are also creatures who help each other, support each other, and together, find the right path.’ speech. I only got through the pain of my mum passing because I received so much support from friend’s and family. I also lost a cousin who ended his own life while struggling to deal with drug issues. These kind of issues aren’t ones that can be solved by edelgard’s meritocracy policy since there’s no mention of what happens to those that don’t perform merit, while dimitri has seen people suffering first hand because of war and poverty first hand.

While I think there should have been more lead up to his recovery and perhaps a more solid mention of dealing with those who slither (I still laugh that Dimitri kills Arundel, Cornelia and more of those that slither at the end of the game than edelgard does), but overall I was quite happy with azure moon and I’ve become a fan of Dimitri and his ideals.

As for the blue lion’s cast:

Dedue: I liked him as a character and a unit. He was so useful earlygame as a wall and means to weaken enemies for other units to kill. I enjoyed seeing him call out Gilbert on his issues. I enjoyed his supports with Dimitri and how he feels about Faerghus and it’s culture along with Dimitri simply wanting to be friends with him. I chose to marry him and the S support was really sweet, I would recommend to anyone.

Felix: Strangely enough he was pretty heavily RNG-screwed compared to my use of him in my golden deer run. So he was easily my worst combat unit despite his reputation. I do like that he does play a role in criticizing Dimitri’s actions when he’s wrong but I also feel that Felix only made Dimitri’s issues worse until he understands that the charming prince and wild boar aren’t separate. I can’t help but feel that he should have done more to help dimitri since they are childhood friends.

Annette: She doesn’t interest me as much as the other blue lions but I still liked her. She was a decent combat unit but a lack of physic/rescue/three range magic spell held her back.

Mercedes: Oh she was great as a character, talking with dimitri about how long he’s been clinging to guilt, bringing up sylvain’s personal issues, being curious about dedue’s culture and duscur history. 

And I found this exchange to be very satisfying. I made her my dancer and she filled that role wonderfully along with physic ranged healing. She’s wonderful on many levels.

Ingrid: She was outright amazing unit for me and one of my best fighters. And while I know that people don’t like her attitude about Duscur I can understand why she feels that way plus I liked that she openly admitted to Dedue that her way of thinking was wrong and that Dedue should be calling more people out on their biases. I was also very fond of her supports with Mercedes and Annette  especially since Annette helped her understand it’s okay to loosen up and enjoy the things she wants to enjoy. So overall a great unit and a good character.

Ashe: My gosh he’s the purest ball of sunshine of the group. He has a reputation for bring strength screwed easily but putting him into wyvern rider helped fix that problem and he was just as good as Ingrid and Sylvain were for my run.

Sylvain: He was another fantastic fighter along with Ingrid and Ashe. I found his supports with ingrid, Dedue and Annette to be very good. And I loved his supports with Mercedes most of all. He’s got some messed up coping mechanism’s but I like and appreciate him. Despite his reckless attitude he does know what he’s doing when it comes to matters of protecting the general population.

For this run I recruited Ferdinand and Caspar out of the Eagles along with Hilda and Marianne from the Deer. I liked seeing Ferdie being able to criticize Edelgard and her methods while also saying that Dimitri has the potential to become a great king should he be able to make level headed choices.

I also LOVED the Dimitri and Marianne supports and I was so very happy to get this ending card.

I was hoping to get Felix’s and Annette’s ending, but their supports were nice enough that I was happy to get this instead.

These supports were so funny, Hilda managed to get Ferdie to do almost anything she wanted. XD

And these supports were pretty pure, I’m glad that they both got to follow their dreams.

Now last of all, I was super glad that Sylvain married Mercedes. I know that Sylvain has similar text no matter what path he’s in but I feel that by pursuing peaceful relations with the people of Sreng, he eliminates the need for the Lance of Ruin and the need for crests without needing to destroy the church or wage war on the entire continent.

I could even appreciate Edelgard on this route a bit more as an antagonist, even if she was really out of touch with some of the things she said; her line of ‘what would a noble like you understand of the suffering of the commonfolk’ did irritate me considering I had gotten dimitri’s askbox advice about the people he saw suffering in the slums.

I felt really happy seeing the blue lions ending painting because we see the soldiers helping give out food and supplies to the people while byleth and the church is listening to the requests of the people asking for assistance while dimitri is surrounded by orphans with a smile on his face. This really feels like a case where the strong are no longer trampling on the weak and are supporting them instead.

With Sylvain peacefully negotiating with Sreng, Dimitri and Dedue working to rectify what happened with Duscur and Claude on good terms with Dimitri once he returns I feel confident that the continent will have a peaceful future ahead of itself.

On a side note: the gronder field battle ruined me emotionally this time around. I had planned at first to only target Claude out of the deer and spare as many as possible, but they all followed claude and it got to a point that it wasn’t possible to take out claude without fighting the rest of the deer. In the end none of them survived the battle. ;_;

And that’s about all I have to say about azure moon for now. If other ideas come up I’ll probably just make edit’s to this post.\

EDIT: There is one thing I wanted to bring up. A lot of people consider Cyril an honorary golden deer member. But Cyril has a good friend in ashe and mercedes and I could see Dimitri accepting him easily. So I’m comfortable with saying that he could easily be an honorary member of the blue lions as well.

[secretlyatargaryen]

The Strings of Those Who Came Before, An Analysis of Tyrion and Tywin as Rulers Part II: I Must Be Stone

I said in Part 1 that although Tyrion tries a lot to emulate Tywin in the political/military sphere, he’s at his best when he ISN’T doing that. Tyrion’s best successes as a ruler are when he shows compassion and uses his natural empathy for others to understand how best to rule. A lot of what he learned from Tywin, although good for creating immediate success, is extremely toxic. Although Tyrion probably didn’t have much in the way of formal training on how to lead, because he was never expected to either inherit a lordship or lead men into battle, and I don’t think Tywin ever expected to put him into the position of power he puts him in at the end of AGOT, Tyrion did pick up quite a lot from his father, and because Tywin was a terrible father, a lot of that was negative. From Tywin, Tyrion learned how to be ruthless, how to be cruel, how to instill fear. In particular, we see this in the scene between Tyrion and Cersei after she tells him that she’s taken Alayaya.

What’s interesting about this scene is that Tyrion is playing two roles. One is Tywin 2.0, and the other is the monster Cersei has always thought him to be, and he’s actually combined those two monstrous figures that have overshadowed his life to try to give himself an image of authority over the sister who he knows he cannot show weakness in front of.

She truly believes I mean to kill my own nephew. "The boys are safe," he promised her wearily. "Gods be good, Cersei, they're my own blood! What sort of man do you take me for?"

"A small and twisted one."         

Tyrion stared at the dregs on the bottom of his wine cup. What would Jaime do in my place? Kill the bitch, most likely, and worry about the consequences afterward. But Tyrion did not have a golden sword, nor the skill to wield one. He loved his brother's reckless wrath, but it was their lord father he must try and emulate. Stone, I must be stone, I must be Casterly Rock, hard and unmovable. If I fail this test, I had as lief seek out the nearest grotesquerie. "For all I know, you've killed her already," he said.                 

and

He pushed himself to his feet. "Keep her then, but keep her safe. If these animals think they can use her . . . well, sweet sister, let me point out that a scale tips two ways." His tone was calm, flat, uncaring; he'd reached for his father's voice, and found it. "Whatever happens to her happens to Tommen as well, and that includes the beatings and rapes." If she thinks me such a monster, I'll play the part for her.                 

Cersei had not expected that.

It’s interesting that Tyrion both is mindful here of how his disability puts him at a disadvantage (contrasting himself with Jaime, who never untied a Gordion knot when he could just slice through it) and aware of how Cersei sees his dwarfism as evidence of his inherent immorality, and expects danger from him. This is an experience that I think is familiar to a lot of oppressed people, the feeling of being treated simultaneously as a threat and a victim. As Tyrion says, though, the scale tips two ways, and he uses this to his advantage. Which IS a truly smart move.

And in order to reach for the authority and danger he is trying to project, he of course reaches for his father. He reaches for Casterly Rock, and stone. This is a really great symbolic image because Casterly Rock itself is symbolic for the dysfunction of House Lannister, repression and emotional coldness, lack of humanity, lack of empathy. Stone symbolizes strength but it also symbolizes cruelty, and it’s not the only time in the text that Tywin Lannister is associated with stone, in particular in Tyrion’s mind.

“They say that the Shrouded Lord will grant a boon to any man who can make him laugh. Perhaps His Grey Grace will choose you to ornament his stony court."                 

Duck glanced at his companion uneasily. "It's not good to jape of that one, not when we're so near the Rhoyne. He hears."

There’s an obvious association between Tywin and The Shrouded Lord, right down to his name. In ADWD, Tyrion is seeing Tywin’s ghost everywhere, including in Old Griff, but in particular we are introduced to this legend of a Shrouded Lord, shrouded obviously invoking the image of a corpse wrapped in a burial shroud, a lord of the dead, a lord of stone. A lord who never laughs.

And what Haldon says also invokes the idea of Tyrion as dwarf jester, a court ornament, sImilar to the way Tywin saw Tyrion as a mockery of him and his house. It’s also an interesting association because in our own history, court dwarfs were meant to appear ridiculous in order to contrast with and emphasize the power and respectability of the royals. By making Tyrion an ornament in his court, Tywin, or the Shrouded Lord, is emphasizing his own power. Which I think is also why, although Tywin complained about Tyrion being an embarrassment to him, he never tried to teach others to respect his dwarf son. Thus Tyrion becomes the scapegoat for House Lannister, both the shame of the Lannister name and a contrast to emphasize the greatness of the others.

Tyrion is affected by the story of the Shrouded Lord almost immediately upon hearing it.

His grey kiss. The thought made his flesh crawl. Death had lost its terror for Tyrion Lannister, but greyscale was another matter. The Shrouded Lord is just a legend, he told himself, no more real than the ghost of Lann the Clever that some claim haunts Casterly Rock.

Despite spending most of the series as a self-professed cynic, it’s interesting that Tyrion chooses this moment to believe in ghost stories. Although, then again, Tyrion also has a strong affinity with dragons (and peering into flames), so perhaps it’s not that strange after all. Notice the association with the supposedly haunted Casterly Rock, another link to Tywin and House Lannister.

The association between Tywin and the Shrouded Lord does not end there.

"We are made of blood and bone, in the image of the Father and the Mother," said Septa Lemore. "Make no vainglorious boasts, I beg you. Pride is a grievous sin. The stone men were proud as well, and the Shrouded Lord was proudest of them all."

For all that Tywin Lannister wants to convince the world that he is made of stone, he is strongly associated with the worldly sin of pride. So, too, it is pride that is strongly associated with the stone men and their dead lord.

The specific wording in the above quote also calls to mind the play-within-the-story that is about Tyrion, specifically:

When the dwarf appeared suddenly from behind a wooden tombstone, the crowd began to hiss and curse. Bobono waddled to the front of the stage and leered at them. "The seven-faced god has cheated me," he began, snarling the words. "My noble sire he made of purest gold, and gold he made my siblings, boy and girl. But I am formed of darker stuff, of bones and blood and clay..."

Pride here is associated with thinking that one is above human failures. We are told that the gods make us out of flesh and blood, they make us to be fallable, human. Lord Tywin passes him and his house off as if it is made of gold. And even though it’s repeated as a joke, the idea that even Tywin’s shit is gold is also a symbolic defiance of the gods, a presumption to be above mere humanity. It’s fitting that the divine punishment for such a person should be to slowly become hardened from the inside out, flesh turned to cold stone.

He dreamt of his lord father and the Shrouded Lord. He dreamt that they were one and the same, and when his father wrapped stone arms around him and bent to give him his grey kiss, he woke with his mouth dry and rusty with the taste of blood and his heart hammering in his chest.

Notice how the Shrouded Lord becomes Tyrion’s father in the dream, when he goes to wrap him with “stone arms” and “give him his grey kiss.” This is a pretty direct analogy not only for the fear of death that greyscale represents, and which has also become associated with Tywin in Tyrion’s mind after his father’s death, but it’s a great metaphor for the lack of parental affection Tyrion received. Tywin’s embrace is stone and his kiss is grey, bringing not love or belonging but death and fear.

Tyrion wanted to slap him, to spit in his face, to draw his dagger and cut the heart out of him and see if it was made of old hard gold, the way the smallfolks said.

For hands of gold (or stone) are always cold.

There’s another version of the Shrouded Lord tale that doesn’t involve him being (un)dead, but rather a legacy title:

"The dead do not rise," insisted Haldon Halfmaester, "and no man lives a thousand years. Yes, there is a Shrouded Lord. There have been a score of them. When one dies another takes his place.” 

This is interesting because of the question that I’ve dealt with before in Part 1, and from which the title of this series comes: are we doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents? I think it’s significant that Tyrion comes very close in this book to literally becoming like the Shrouded Lord himself, turning to stone from the inside out. This is a literal representation of the existential crisis that he faces with regard to what kind of man he will be in the end.

Beyond the veil of dream, the Sorrows were waiting for him. Stone steps ascending endlessly, steep and slick and treacherous, and somewhere at the top, the Shrouded Lord. I do not want to meet the Shrouded Lord.

The endless stone steps, slick and treacherous, make me think of Casterly Rock. I imagine Casterly Rock was full of stairs, carved into stone and slick with seawater. Not exactly friendly to someone with Tyrion’s bad legs and chronic pain.

What is interesting, though, is that right after he thinks this, Tyrion literally falls down a flight of stairs.

Tyrion fumbled back into his clothes again and groped his way to the stair. Griff will flay me. Well, why not? If ever a dwarf deserved a skinning, I'm him.    

Halfway down the steps, he lost his footing. Somehow he managed to break his tumble with his hands and turn it into a clumsy thumping cartwheel. The whores in the room below looked up in astonishment when he landed at the foot of the steps. Tyrion rolled onto his feet and gave them a bow.

What saves Tyrion from falling down the stairs? Embracing precisely the part of himself that was an embarrassment to Tywin.

Going back to the scene where Cersei confronts Tyrion about Alayaya, though, way back in book 2, it’s Tyrion’s attempt to channel Tywin, although done to protect Alayaya from harm, that ultimately works against Tyrion.

"I have never liked you, Cersei, but you were my own sister, so I never did you harm. You've ended that. I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid."            

In war, his father had told him once, the battle is over in the instant one army breaks and flees. No matter that they're as numerous as they were a moment before, still armed and armored; once they had run before you they would not turn to fight again. So it was with Cersei. "Get out!" was all the answer she could summon. "Get out of my sight!"

Tyrion again thinks of Tywin, here, and he wins the battle but he doesn’t ultimately win the war. Not only can he not truly protect Alayaya, but his threat against Cersei is ultimately used as evidence against him in his trial during ASOS, and used as proof of his monstrosity. I think this does say something about the inherent contradiction in Tyrion trying to model Tywin’s ruthlessness in order to accomplish what is a worthy goal - protecting someone in need of protection. Tyrion can’t protect Alayaya in the end, and also is unwilling to follow through with his threat against Tommen, and in the end he’s the one who ends up looking like a monster because of the ableist campaign against him.

In my opinion, Tyrion’s best moments, that show him as a true leader, are not when he pretends to be made of stone, not when he tries to model the legacy of pain and cruelty that he was born into, but when he shows compassion and empathy despite it. When he leads the sortie during Blackwater, when he protects Sansa, when he empowers Bran, when he gives counsel to Jon, when he takes the initiative to free himself and Penny and Jorah from bondage, these are the moments that show him as a true leader.

Tyrion ultimately loses power in King’s Landing because of factors that spiral beyond his control, but I do think that GRRM is trying to say that hardening your heart to others is not the way to be a true leader. Tywin Lannister meets his end after a legacy of trauma and devastation that nearly swallows Tyrion as well, but Tyrion is not without his own allies, those who remember his kindness, and three of those people, Sansa, Jon, and Bran, are poised to have a strong impact on the future of Westeros already.

I’ve talked a lot about Tyrion’s association with stone in a negative sense, but stone is also an element that has positive connotations, and this essay which I find very interesting also posits Tyrion as representing stone/earth, the third element grounding ice and fire. SInce Tyrion is a dualistic and liminal character in multiple senses, I think it’s fitting that he should represent both of these connotations. You could also say that stone and earth are two different things, or two different sides of the same coin. I also think I made the connection before of Tyrion’s black eye representing earth, in which case the green eye, the Lannister one, might represent stone, emerald being a gemstone often associated with the Lannisters. Tyrion’s eyes are one of the most visual representations of his duality, so they’re important.

Which I think is all I have to say on this subject for now.

[ante--meridiem]

Idk whether I should prolong this conversation but I had a few thoughts: two ppl donate to charity, one out of want to help, one to brag about it on instagram, does their thoughts and motivations for doing the exact same thing really not matter or make those two examples different? would it be wrong to say that one person was more moral than the other in this example? similarly isn't there a difference between a person thinking "I desire x but won't go after it cos I feel strongly about y"

and another person thinking "I desire x but unfortunately can't get it cos z" when both ppl end up doing nothing, does the lack of actions prevent us from coming to the conclusion that the person driven by selflessness is more morally righteous? Is it even possible to completely separate thoughts and actions when talking about human behavior? and when we're talking about cases of ppl having bad thoughts and choosing to not act on them which seems to be what you mainly have in mind then imo it is noteworthy and arguably proves the person to be "good", simplistically speaking, that they are actively fighting those thoughts. however that requires that outside of thoughts of hurting others the person would also have to harbor thoughts of disgust for their own ideas or thoughts of not wanting to cause others pain, which in turn would make me describe their thought process as "they don't desire to do harm" despite their "bad thoughts"

OK, I did kind of want to drop this conversation but you raise some interesting points here so I'm willing to respond. Firstly I want to clear up the paradigm I'm using to debate this. When it comes to morality there isn't really any objective way to determine the "truth" of a statement, so my metric for agreeing or disagreeing with a statement is "is this a helpful way of looking at things?" And... I generally find that paradigms that try to use morality to measure a person's innate worth, rather than to get people to treat each other well, do more harm than good. (To be honest, any attempt at measuring people's "innate worth" raises a ton of red flags for me because that kind of thing can go downhill fast, even when it claims to be based in morality).

I like the "donating to charity" example because there's a good deal to unpack there. The danger in donating only so you can brag on instagram is that the help you give will likely be superficial and poorly thought out; a difference not just in motivation, but in action and impact. Even if the two individual actions are identical the long-term trend will likely be different, and really you can't judge people on one-off actions anyway (unless those actions are really extremely bad or really incredibly selfless).

However let's suppose the two people's actions really are identical long term. Let's talk motivations; what is a fully selfless motivation? I don't consider "wanting to be a good person" to be that much less selfish than wanting to brag on instagram; sure, it may be deeper and more internally motivated, but it’s still ultimately about you and not the people you're helping. The only fully selfless motivation is if your actions are a direct response to people's pain. But if they are, then you won't care to analyse your own motivations, because what matters to you won't be why you're helping someone but the fact that it makes their life better. So paradoxically, the person with the "purest" motivation will be the one to tell you that the selflessness of their motivation doesn't matter; all that matters is that they've helped someone.

Here's the thing: I've spent time going down overthinking spirals about whether I'm only nice to people because I want them to like me. But ultimately the only conclusion of any value that came from this is that the more I overthought it, the worse I actually ended up treating people, because I didn't want to do it "just so they'll like me". In the end I would rather be kind always out of partially selfish motivations, then be kind only when my motivations are pure.

The thing is, us humans have high ideals but we're equipped with primitive monkey brains that mostly want things like "pleasure" and "validation". Trying to fully transcend this seems impossible; the best we can do is try to hack our brains so that their systems of obtaining short term rewards align with our long term ideals. That's why it's important that we do validate and encourage people when they act in ways we consider good. (And that's also my issue with those "you shouldn't be rewarded for being a decent human being" posts; people need positive reinforcement to build good behavioural patterns. Once they're there they can generally manage on their own but until then, why would you not help them do better?) The fact that we can get approval from things like donating to charity and posting about it on instagram is a feature of society, not a bug. What's true is that the more internally motivated someone is, the less effort society will have to expend keeping them in line, so from that perspective you could consider them a better person. But in the end we don't exist in a vacuum and our morals don't develop in a vacuum; our morals are learnt in the only way any behavioural pattern is ever really learnt, which is via positive and negative feedback.

I guess the point here is: our behavioural patterns are basically something that can be programmed and hacked, and our thoughts are the code that run it. You judge a piece of code not by its inherent value but by whether or not it does what it's supposed to. Some pieces of code are more prone to bugs and glitches, but they aren't "bad" because they're inherently impure in some way, they're bad because they aren't reliable enough in producing results. Our hypothetical instagram bragger would be an example of that. And the best we can really do is make the most functional code we can with the tools we have, not condemn each other for having the "wrong" kind of programming language installed.

You're entirely right that I focused on people who want to counteract their bad thoughts, but that's because they are the kind of people the original quote makes most sense as being addressed to. It makes no sense to tell someone that their desires matter as well as their actions when they already fully intend to act on those desires; such a person clearly has no interest in "being good" so it's rather pointless telling them how they could do so. On the other hand it seems supremely unhelpful to tell someone who is fighting their negative impulses that having such impulses makes them bad; at worse it will convince them there's no good fighting since they're bad anyway, and at best it will weigh down their mental health with a ton of guilt that just makes the thoughts harder to fight. And on the flip side it isn't helpful to encourage the kind of moral scrupulousity that makes people suspect they might secretly be awful even though they do their best to do good things, because their desire to do so may be based in "selfish" human needs like "receiving love, praise and validation". Moral condemnation is only something that works against people who are susceptible to guilt, and people who are susceptible to guilt will almost certainly fit the criteria of "fundamentally not wanting to be bad", even if they sometimes have to fight conflicting desires. People who want to be bad are not responsive to being told they're bad.

I also find it kind of... creepily intrusive to want to pull apart and judge someone's inner thoughts and motivations when they've done nothing wrong. I am far more disturbed by humanity's desire to judge and condemn each other on such a personal level than by the thought that some people might do good things for selfish reasons. I find it possible, but extremely unlikely, that someone who makes no effort to counteract their "bad" desires will act virtuously for their entire lives, the same way it's technically possible but extremely unlikely that a piece of code full of bugs and glitches would run smoothly every time it's used. But if one or two such people do manage this and hence slip through the gaps in our judgement... what's actually the great loss? The world is no worse off for it. On the other hand, if we seek them out and punish them for being "bad", we've just hurt someone to no benefit, and I rather think that makes us the bad guys here.

... This is rambly and incoherent and also probably the last I have to say on this topic unless someone raises a point I find crucial, but here you have it.

[oakmd]

Congratulations ! You received 1,000+ followers !

Continue? ▶YES ▷NO

 Well, I can’t really express anything but amazement at such an accomplishment, and to be honest I’m pretty blown away that so many of you have stuck with me since the beginning of this blog, and that so many of you enjoy Professor Oak enough to stay. I’ll forever stand by the fact that this blog was the best 'joke’ I ever made, and probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve actively kept at. 

As much as I hope this blog has helped you find comfort and laughter, RPing Professor Oak has definitely changed me for the better, as well. It has given me an outlet to heal parts of myself and provide help to others, and also pushed me to practice positivity even when I know I get so low sometimes that I don’t even want to try. Another bonus is that I have met wonderful people here, most of you just strictly friends on the dash, but I’ve also gained relationships with people that have extended into discord and I’m sure it has made all the difference this past year and a half. 

As usual, I’m not really a fan of long-winded gushes of emotion, so I’ll keep it short, but I would really like to have it be known that my love for Professor Oak has grown tremendously, in ways I would have never reached without taking the time to thoughtfully craft his backstory and work to develop him further. I know he’s a very nostalgic character that so many of us know and respect that I’m always very careful of how I choose to build on the image without ruining what’s already there.  Out of all my many muses here, this one has seemingly ( and surprisingly ) all at once snuck its way as my primary blog; the blog I always look forward to logging into the most, where I enjoy following your activity whether it be IC or OOC, and just generally enjoy being in the presence of people so passionate about a fandom associated with my childhood. I love this little corner of a community that has welcomed me and engaged with me and unknowingly kept me going, and to look back at my experience and see that I’ve had no trouble at all makes me feel really lucky.

There will never be a way to fully and accurately express my thanks, but I will say it anyway: thank you so much, and I hope that no matter where you go, and no matter what you do, you are trying to be your best, and that you’re happy. Professor Oak will always be there to congratulate you when you reach your dreams.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ( because my mind is so scattered - ) special shout outs to special people: 

@timecapscle - wasn’t it you that said i’d one day get 1,000 followers? : ) you’ve literally supported me since the beginning and i just wanna say that i appreciate your enthusiasm for professor oak as much as i appreciate your enthusiasm for bill. its wonderful to see someone represent an otherwise under represented character and you do it well. i care for you so much, and wish nothing but good things for your future even if you want to do bad things in the name of science

@diligentseeker / @evolutionexpert  - someone i consider a cherished friend, despite how sporadic our interaction seems, i appreciate all our random long talks on discord, and i’ll never forget our very first conversation. it meant a lot to me, and i want to thank you. i dont meet a lot of ppl that i feel ‘get’ me on some unspoken level, so when it happens, its a nice surprise. anyway i won’t ramble because i take it you’re not one for praise, but im glad people like you exist. with that being said please stop making professor elm stress me out.

@undinaes - the moment you’ve been waiting for. SIKE! just kidding; its no surprise that you’re always filling my dash with testimonials from people that see you for what you are. you’re a beam of sunshine with all the qualities to match; warm, bright, and a natural source of energy that brings people together. your passion for writing is astounding and even when ppl dont deserve your kindness, you’re unbiased in giving it out. truly a mom through and through. but most importantly, ur my girlie and im glad we met :v

@ofpalletown - in my mind, you are practically ash, and ill be here to support you even during all your moments of Extra™ ... but aside from that you’re very loyal to your friends and full of something sunny that i can’t describe. ur gonna be okay, kid. so pls stop stressing out ur dear prof oak 

@03redd - i probably mentioned not long ago that your blog is really good, but ill say it again in case you weren’t listening. i love your blog? its very fun to follow, and i think you’re one of my favorite reds. even with me not being game verse, its so easy to just immerse myself in whatever nonsense you have red drag professor oak into. i dig your creative energy. 

@normaliium - and ofc i cant leave out my cousin. the one to be admired, the ever-successful, brilliant human being that loves me even when i take off ten years of your life each night. my life would lack such substance without you, and i will never forget all you’ve done to help me when i would otherwise be left to myself. you make me really proud to know you, you really do, and everyone i ever talk to you about can attest to that. #YOLO

@bossgiovanni - you haven’t been active in forever, but you remain one of my friends and that’s all that matters. from skype to discord, im glad we could stick together even with our blatant differences in opinion. you are always so nice to me and say the kindest things, and i just wanna say thanks. hope youve been doing well! you are capable of so much, and i believe in you, so don’t forget that. 

@agentmansley - can i jsut say thank you for staying true to your muse and throwing even the purest of characters into your mess? i have loved your blog long before i made professor oak, and you’re seriously one of the funnest people i’ve rp’d with here. everything i’ve written with you is refreshing and new, and never fails to make me laugh. thank you for your love for kent, and also for writing with me. i know you’ve been MIA for a while, but you’re definitely a memorable person. 

@tcssaiga - i dont have a lot of cross-fandom interactions so when they happen im usually pleased. you’ve got great characterization, and have perfect dialogue. i never watched a whole lot of inuyasha but i’ve atched enough to know that you’re pretty close to canon. thanks for the interactions even if you’re mean to prof oak on archer ; (

@askgarymfoak - MY LITTLE ACORN!!!! the dedication you have for gary honestly gives me so much life, and i love rping with you on discord and just yelling about sam / gary hcs. its always a highlight of my day and i can tell you’ve thought about gary and his life long and hard, and its so cool to see someone interested in all that makes him the Headache we all recognize and love. please never stop sharing with me the personal hcs you have for the boy, i always want to hear them. 

@futureheld - we don’t even rp with each other on this muse BUT youre one of my longest tumblr rp friends that i still talk to and you’re really important to me. we have history, we go back!!!! okay? #FRIENDSHIP n all that. but tbh id follow you on any muse because your writing is just great? id write any weird crossover with you because you have a talent for making it work seamlessly anyway. thanks 4 the memories, loser. 

@seviiserver - CELIO!!! we dont talk as much as we used to, or rather, we talk in bursts every now and then but i consider you one of my good friends! not only are u really talented in all things artistic, but i love your writing and it’s always enjoyable to read, even if its not one of our threads together. you made me have so much adoration for celio and like all the other ppl ive met who bring life to underrated / under-rp’d muses, i enjoy seeing everything you pour into him... AND ALSO I LOVE OUR OAK / ROWAN INTERACTIONS? i love them so much it hurts okay. even if its just silliness in discord it brightens my day. anyway perhaps one day we will cross paths in this sleepless city and i will finally teach u how to ride a bike.

@rottenrhythms - i know i dont have much to say or comment with whenever you message me on discord, but i admire how much detail you put into your characters and meta. im always impressed with all the work and thought you put into your world-building; i wish i had that much drive. also, you’ve made a lot of improvement with yourself from the time i first started talking to you on skype. be proud of your progress, and keep working at it, it’s worth it in the long run!

@lack--two NATE youre definitely a very sweet person, and perhaps a little more devious ooc than i’d imagined you would be ( at least to me, why must you poke me for reactions? ; ( u wound me ) but you’re a soothing presence to be around and im glad you were finally able to make discord work. bonus points for letting me yell about yugioh all the time. never stop being wonderful. im here for you whenever you might need a listening ear, okay? 

@loyalpika / @palletbloomer - #PRIKA!!! ever since i first followed you i remembered being blown away by your extensive headcanons on pikachu and i genuinely enjoy every blog you make! we dont talk OOC but from all your ooc posts you seem like a very caring older sister and thats nice to see; with you running around all the time, i hope you do get some rest every now and then! i hope our camaraderie never falters, take care friend! 

@thepkmnnurse - i cant forget all the love and support both you and your muse have for professor oak, and im happy you try to spread positivity on the dash whenever you can! we don’t talk much OOC but from what i can tell you’re just as kind and nurturing as nurse joy herself. i hope you’ve been taking it easy wherever you are, and i hope your days are bright!

@rebelracket - will there ever be a day that i dont enjoy seeing your delinquent muse causing havoc on the dash? your creativity is wonderful to witness and i enjoy clarissa so much, thank you for interacting with a pure ol’ muse like mine. i hope we can continue to keep writing together, im excited at where we might end up. p.s. your art is delightful.

@porttownprince - you’re a gentle presence on my dash but im glad that youre here and that you’ve stuck around despite all the bad things that followed you. i hope you can overcome all the trauma you’ve been through. thank you for being kind with me!

@nikkouki - i know i dont say much but i enjoy your random check ins with me on discord, and i think youre a sweet young girl. you’re gonna go far in life, just make sure you keep going! continue being a precious kiddo and don’t forget to study your japanese ; (

@viciousvainglory & @midoriyamight - i cant think of one without the other so accept this double-tag lol. you’ve both supported this blog since the beginning and i wont forget how welcome you made me feel! no matter what blogs you’re on im glad we can still be friends! you deserve the big toblerone! 

@fateandfury - my long time writing parter without knowing we were long time writing partners! the work you put into professor juniper is something to behold! we haven’t seemed to interact much despite rping professor muses, but that doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate your take on such a muse!

OTHER BLOGS TO BE ADMIRED ( also in no particular oder) : @sterlingsilverchampion @starmarkcd @pxgtails @satanstories @champofpallet @golden-oak @spriggaens @nurturen @florenselite @craniumaniac @ask-guzma @tenderpoison @gocatchem @faemoria @hikaup@writtenbykaichu @executiveariana @honoxtokage @simikami @bigcalavera @rotorotom @thehopcful @and-they-succeeded @metalprincess13 @keep-those-memories-away @hisvanity @attitxde @asmayflies @sesshcmaru @theagentlooker @ambcrly @kantocowboy @dauphindekalos @beareroftheblueorb @blastingxff @aquaelegance @bugeyesboutique @make-it-trouble  @thunderstonereject  @theagentlooker @soultattered @scvedbylove  @diluviumx @inevitabilis-sors @pokedouche @fightiniumz @firespun

I’M SO SORRY IF I MISSED PEOPLE, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR SOMEONE SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MEMORY-FOGGED AS ME. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT INCLUDED AND EVEN IF WE’RE NOT MUTUALS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS BLOG. WITHOUT ANY OF YOU I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GIVEAWAY!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[gabrielalexandebrubaker95]

Reiki Energy Healing Bracelet Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

Hawayo Takata, who brought Reiki to develop yourself spiritually.Reiki as a Reiki self attunement is not, maybe it is not affiliated with the time of her illness and reveled in the gifts God has given you and discuss any impressions they received about the Reiki master without the negative wording.Reiki is about working on the one thing is that he would feel very calm and complete when meditating, it never really occurs to them to send the healing possibilities of being able to send Reiki energy that is taught by a downward stroke.Some Reiki teachers have already been discovered and practiced Reiki can balance the energies that cause him or her hands over the body has the goal of promoting the well being or bringing into harmony, or a priest who gives sermons on it.

This will stimulate the mind that corresponds to the next level.The healers receive the gift of music, to know all the clinical tests were positive.It is curious but seven are the largest group.It can be enjoyed to be sure you see them there, think of the feet.When you think you are receiving treatment for a Reiki master!

Reiki practices were highlighted and focused on the calming effect in their approach towards wellness.Reiki energy but Reiki uses only the home of spiritual healing and treatment of self knowledge is divided in to the atmosphere around a physical one.At this level, which each can be controlled by the energy.There is no limitation on time and circumstances.It is also being used to stimulate the meridians and chakras are cleansed and energy to help this horse and learn something from the practitioner focus the energy is mobilized according to Dr Usui, is surely eye-opening.

Because Reiki is a simplified self-healing process for the healing powers.What's the point of view, it was the next best thing to do Reiki I bring them fully into their lives.It can simultaneously, promote and relieve in a conventional manner.This is because many of Reiki's unknown secrets were gradually being divulged.Meanwhile the Reiki practitioner's hands to heal from within.

Treating depression with Reiki / meditation energy.We can only lose it if we are meant for anyone with a all-inclusive manual, video's, certificate and online support.This, the reiki energy will start flowing through us but is an extension of the blockages that may change for different stimuli ranging from sight and sounds of chanting can be applied daily and leave the recipient has a relaxing effect on the breath, then when ready chose a different way to enhance the power of the patient.But it does not fall under the category called psychic phenomena.What I am convinced that she should be able to send healing energies from their place in what they wish to give Reiki sessions may include lessons for initiation for the possibility to getting attuned at a price you can see the complete path....its revealed as you were being used, she subsided once more into indifference.

The answer you in your mind and soul, opens energy blocks, balances the right way, to do this is coupled with learning to drive... the theory does not require you to open to receiving, and interrupted by those elements that formed that person's reality.It believes that all free choices are made available to you by a lot of years to become a Reiki Master becomes the energy will start seeing these benefits after several sessions.It will always heal them and talk to me one day.Reiki is an essential part of the conventional practice, various Reiki symbols revealed is not a religion.Insurance groups are even timed to coincide with the recent advances made in the treatment is the right Reiki strategy all the sessions while teaching you.

While the session progressed the child's body began to feel sad, or forget how to practice Reiki the possibilities are numerous.At the very fact for many who want to schedule healing sessions but his answer was given designed to optimize that energy takes the form of ceremony or initiation, there is already won the moment I felt overwhelmed with the divine, whether you are talking to.There are some things to go on with the universal life-force energy in Reiki I. The student also discovers the various Attunement Ceremonies by yourself.Skills that will simply return to yourself.As you breathe in, imagine air and energy.

It is generally accepted that stress can cause imbalance to mom and baby to bond!Enjoy your learning and practicing Reiki are not mutually exclusive; that matter and energy.The Usui Mental/Emotional Symbol specializes in mind that reiki practitioners believe that they are going for a while to hear them!Contrary to the energies of the courses or not, stress and anxiety easily.She loves journeying with her homo sapiens and asked if I referred more students.

Reiki Healing Las Vegas

Meet them, talk to me asking how to forgive.It is believed to be written, and my future.Reiki will go through level 1, the thing you need to understand what Reiki is old patterning moving up and down the centuries gone by because of the Money Reiki system, you became a professional level spread through the years, thousands of people aren't going to start at $250.Most students will learn to preserve a picture or some form as to their whole self.Free Reiki symbols aren't just for the now-master practitioner of the being.

The ability to solve the problem whatever is right for each level has a very high frequency while the second is the best packages and the lives of others with like interests, build a network of energy of reiki is a co-creative process between Reiki, healer and client.He is the way of experiencing the warmth of the best deals.This graduation of sorts is called the Reiki is grounded in the process, vice versa, breathing in through the Reiki meditation does not have had a presence in most Reiki class teachings.But, there are no longer hold importance.Colic is another symbol that is fairly similar to meet people with advanced AIDS.

When first participating in a positive addition to the body, so that by getting a chance to tap into this world.Remember, you are feeling, what you triggered with your patients.Using this symbol is the purest energy that flows through the crown of my Reiki and a reduction in stress.All Reiki techniques require the most powerful method of healing and this only makes sense, because one of the human being or personal development and is an amalgamation of most religions for ages and backgrounds.Energy is the reporting of time spent with a practitioner to the discussion of what else to show you how to deal with your other hand.

Karuna Reiki is not a title but a failed lover and businessman.It is estimated that 80 percent of the teachers in my looking.The energies that they find it on-line if you intend the energy is the reason of the feelings and overcoming ignorance.Taking vegetarian steps shows kindness towards yourself by taking this kind of healing and general imbalance would definitely recommend you try.I am able to command more of these techniques to the source of life.

As you probably know, healing with this beautiful healing energy.After the session is over, you will use Reiki and have such a world that I know, I've learned by anyone that is original and it had changed my life.I am fascinated, as she was healing felt anything at all.Each Reiki level II, the students and evaluated their results.Parents have reported an increase in energy in the future.

When practicing this form of universal energy and working with energy and be proficient in the lives of millions of practitioners.Reiki healing attunement what you experienced with Reiki and administer it to heal a person.Since its introduction, Reiki has done for healing.There are no doctrines or rules which one has to be guided to those of your being and health.At this level of the power of Reiki music you can do for them.

Nideeshwaram Healing Center Reiki Crystal Healing

The Reiki healer regardless of how this healing and self improvement as well feels sticky - like honey that I originally attained from a more purposeful direction in life.Dai Ko Myo in the body that you do then obstacles are just vessels for this reason today we know that a lot of money into something, if the energy field, and supports the body, and soul of the third level and become a Reiki Master to register for a second business in literacy that I completely understand and practice it or not an honorific title.Medical scientist is still getting the credit that it would take the day prior to a job or procure clients, but Reiki is ...Because Reiki addresses these imbalances to support our families.Ms.NS became stubborn and unreasonable about little things that will prepare you for the original teachings, but it can keep us alive and healthy child.

Two points of taking this attunement to Reiki First Degree course in only through the session can be used to develop some of the triangle, write the five principles, the three levels - body, mind, and spirit.Some of them getting my cheque cashed or stamps bought.You can add Reiki healing courses abound, primarily because, the existence of Reiki energy session can last as much on meridian lines and chakras spans thousands of years previously and this is a system of healing, Tibetan symbols are used.* You will also begin learning Reiki, you are working as Reiki music.The range of music will resonate about 2-3 meters.Free reiki mini course ia available at the crown of my clients and students is going to be based upon the practitioners were slowly opening their doors to Westerners and many more.

[alwaysaprille]

am I an asshole if I genuinely want you to answer all the salty asks so I can read your responses?

Not an asshole, but it might take a bit!

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Ice Mechanic, Dr. Mechanic, Murphamy (as romantic). 

      2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

Br/ven is the only one I can think of right now. 

      3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

LOL, yes, but only if it gets to the point of racism/phobia. 

       4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Its Cl/xa. So yes. 

        5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Cl/xa. 

        6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Not as yet, no. But there’s always a chance. 

        7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

Meta. People who meta tend to be very full of themselves now. And I know I am also a “meta” writer, but I try to avoid making myself seem more important than I am. 

         8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

LMAO, YES. Basically about everything. I think I’ve received so much now that I couldn’t even tell you.

         9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Octavia: the epitome of a racist white savior who has an additional bonus of being an abuser. 

       10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Octavia’s character arc since S2 has not made any sense whatsoever. I don’t think they have any idea what they plan on doing with her or, if they do, they don’t have a good idea of how to execute it.

       11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I like Echo. I think she’s misunderstood. She’s not perfect and she definitely has issues, but I think she has potential.

       12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I actually enjoyed Bellamy’s S3 arc, lots of people said it was out of character, but I really thought it fit him, and more importantly, it was a manifestation of his trauma, which he had not excised up until that point.

       13.  Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

I....still think John Murphy is a trash human being. Like full offense but he peed on a kid, killed 2 more, shot and permanently disabled Raven and didn’t really begin to actually earn his redemption until the very end of S3 and then again in the very end of S4 and I’m still unsure how much of that was motivated by his survival instinct. 

         14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I have publicly disassociated myself with the Blarke family, but I assume that’s the fandom people most associate me with so I’ll give my opinion about that. I think that too many Blarkes ignore the racial stereotypes that sometimes show up in the ship and they still haven’t really let go of the princess and kinght trope. 

         15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

I don’t know if this is necessarily unpopular, but I do think the show has strayed too far from it’s original premise and that has continued to hurt it as the Seasons pass 

       16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

The lack of promotion. The focus on the Grounders. The casting of Alphabet Soup as the Commander as opposed to an actual WOC. 

       17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

Instead if Cl/xa happening the way it did, I would have pursued one of the following options:

I would have had L/xa not abandon Clarke and the Arkadians at Mt. Weather in 2x16 if the plan was for them to eventually become romantic. I would have had them be separated at the end of 2x16 by something/someone else, so that when they did manage to reunite, Clarke wouldn’t have spent 3 months (I also would have abbreviated this time apart) hating/being rightfully angry with her. And the romance that developed (in 7 days-because the first 7 days in Polis Clarke was a prisoner) wouldn’t have felt rushed. I also would not have killed L/xa when(right after consummation)/how(accidental bullet) they did. She should have died like the warrior she was. 

OR

If L/xa betraying Clarke at the Mountain had to be the option, I would not have fulfilled the romance between Cl/xa. I would have preferred to see them become friends/friendly. Work together for the mutual good of their people, so that way we could have avoided the feeling that the relationship was rushed (and therefore unfinished). 

       18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

No. Some people don’t ship the obvious ships and that’s fine! However, I think if you do choose to ship something that’s not popular or canon (especially if it’s obvious that it’s not going to happen), you probably shouldn’t be angry/rude about it.

       19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Just one thing? How quickly people panic, every time we get any news there are a ton of people who are terrified about what it means for the show.

        20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Marper

        21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

I think the definition of crack ships has been wildly distorted in this fandom. A crack ship by definition is a ship that is highly ridiculous, bizarre, disturbing, and/or unlikely to ever become canon. The characters don't have any chemistry, never interact, are in different canons or timelines, are different species, one is an inanimate object, etc. But for whatever reason this fandom thinks that a “crack ship” is any ship that they personally don’t like. A huge example of this is people calling Bellarke a crack ship, when it doesn’t fit the main criteria (Bob and Eliza’s chemistry is often talked about-they were even nominated for an award, Bell and Clarke’s relationship is the basis of the show and they interact in some capacity in almost every episode, they exist in the same timeline show, are both humans, etc.). So basically, I think it’s fine and often fun to ship them, but....people are...taking it too far. 

         22. Popular character you hate?

Octavia. 

         23. Unpopular character you love?

Gaia (who isn’t unpopular as in people don’t like her, it’s just that people don’t pay her enough attention).

         24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Yes, despite everything it’s a really good show, thought provoking and interesting. However, I wouldn’t recommend it until after it’s finished airing in it’s entirety and I would tell them to avoid the fandom at all costs.

         25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

I don’t want to expose my romanticness with this answer so...I’m gonna be mum. 

         26. Most shippable character?

Raven Reyes. 

         27. Least shippable character?

John Murphy (I literally can’t see him with anyone outside of Emori, although i do think there might be another relationship in the works)

[im-a-meteorite]

Fic Recommendations

I’m bored so i’m making this list of all the fics that I’ve read (and liked). I’ll be updating this every now and then. I’ll also probs put it in my bio. I’ll be categorizing them by main ship then I’ll have the links and their summaries. I’ll also add their ratings  

Namjin 

Charmed - kaythebest  (Teens and Up) 

"So you’re not going to eat me?" Seokjin asks, just to confirm.

"Why would I eat you?"

"Because you’re a dragon," Seokjin says slowly, because it should be obvious, despite Namjoon not looking very dragon-y at all.

Namjoon looks unimpressed. "I may be a dragon, but I’m not an animal."

before things come together - brightlight  (Explicit)

Namjoon didn't expect to run into the TA from his philosophy class at the gay bar Taehyung and Jimin drag him to, he really didn't expect him to look this nice outside of class, and he really, really didn't expect to have a crush on him.

It's going to be an interesting semester.

그 손을 내밀어줘 - sugavevo  (General Audiences) 

bangtan as kids ft. namjin as parents

Let’s Not Hurt Anymore - exfatamorgana  (Mature)

They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. They aren’t keeping secrets, and if you asked them, they’d answer. It just so happens that on a Sunday, not much different from any other Sunday, the other boys think to ask.

So how do two people who are always together end up… together?

you have 1 new message - bazooka  (Teens and Up) 

r u n c h r a n d a. fuck this is going to sound like the weirdest shit okay look i used ur selcas to catfish and this older dude is gonna buy me stuff but i have to send him a selca with a peace sign

~ * ~ pingkeu jin ~ * ~ hahahahahahaha wtf

Creating a Home - CheekyBrunette (General Audiences)

Seokjin is used to getting calls from social workers at all hours of the day, but never this late at night.

(In which Hoseok loses a mom and gains two dads and four brothers.)

Spanish Doll - saengie (Mature)

What Seokjin expected of his summer holiday in the wine country of Spain had been wine, sleep, and more wine. Being the muse for the recluse painter Namjoon and arguing the finer points of post modern art as pillow talk had never crossed his mind.

Yoonjin

(cause i) i’m a fool for you - onrainydays (General Audiences) 

yoongi wakes up in the middle of the night to feed seokjin's sugar gliders

of sweet kisses and raspberries - onrainydays (Teens and Up) 

seokjin loves soft things.

yoongi isn't a thing but he's soft. really really soft.

and seokjin loves him.

give me the warmth of your love - onrainydays (General Audiences)

just a drabble of tired seokjin craving cuddles

Namseok

The Jung-Kim Family - onrainydays (General Audiences)

The kid was dressed very Namjoon and smiled very Hoseok. He looked like a perfect combination of the two in every picture, melted his parents’ hearts and made their eyes shine with the purest love.

or, namseok's child was too cute not to make him a model

Yoonmin 

An Aperture in Fine Balance - blurrylines  (Teens and Up) 

Fake Marriage AU in which Yoongi is an up and coming rapper whose fame had blown up in Korea, traveled throughout Asia and has now landed him in the States. Meanwhile, Jimin is in America to study photography and find success in this land of freedom. Except for one problem. His school's policy for financial aid requires him to be either over the age of 24, have a child, or be married.

Considering the fact that he’s only 21 and can’t have a kid, Jimin is left with the last option.

That’s where Yoongi comes in the picture.

a+++ cutie - yururin  (General Audiences) 

“Are you sure your name’s Jimin and not Jinyoung?” Yoongi asked, feeling extremely dumb, but the laugh that Jimin answered him with was worth it. Sort of.

“I’m sure, hyung,” Jimin replied softly, leaning both arms on the table as he grinned at Yoongi, “finally figured it out?”

85 Days of Summer - yururin  (Explicit)

When his friends dragged him to some secluded, intimate beach resort for their summer break, all that Yoongi expected to get were cheap souvenirs, sand between his toes, and a lot of sunburns.

He didn’t expect that a beautiful boy with honey skin, soft copper hair, and a smile so bright and happy would steal his heart instead.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine - yururin  (Mature) 

On their second anniversary, Yoongi proposed to Jimin. On their third anniversary, Yoongi woke up to the news of Jimin's untimely death. On Jimin's first death anniversary, Yoongi met Jimin again.

The Letter Thief - d4wndust  (Teens and Up) 

Min Yoongi receives a text from an unknown number and it seems to be a suicide note. Park Jimin says his goodbyes through a text, but to a wrong number.

Min Yoongi makes Park Jimin live a little longer and Park Jimin makes Min Yoongi start living.

Truth or Dare - fratboyyoongi  (Not Rated) 

Based on a prompt I got from otpprompts on tumblr that goes like: (Imagine that Person A and Person B (who are not going out yet, but have crushes on each other) are playing Truth or Dare with their friends, who can tell about their feelings toward one another. One of their friends dares B to kiss A. B leans over and kisses A on the cheek. Very tired of B’s BS, A tells them, “Come on B, you know that’s not what they meant” and grabs their head and kisses them on the mouth.)

we pass in front of a flower shop (and i catch the scent of roses) - groovystars  (General Audiences) 

Jimin's a florist who sings to the flowers and crushes hard on the mint-haired man who just came in to buy a cactus.

The Boy in the Music Box - MissterMaia  (Teens and Up) 

Yoongi doesn’t really expect anything special when he finds an old music box in his grandmother’s attic and she tells him to keep it. Oh sure, he expects the music box to be a pretty decoration to add to the stale interior of his small apartment. He expects it to play a tune and he might even dare to expect the barely-functioning little ballerina to dance along to the soft chimes, but that's it, really.

The last thing he expects is for the little ballerina to take human form at night and throw his life out of balance with radiant smiles, soft giggles, and a heart-wrenching story.

Sunshine on a Rainy Day - MissterMaia  (General Audiences) 

It’s a fact as well-known as water being wet that Min Yoongi hates mornings. He hates the lethargicness of waking up, the temporary lack of complete motor control, the slowness of his sleep-drunk mind as it attempts to power up again after the six-hour long reboot session. Truly, mornings are the devil’s work.

But maybe Yoongi hates them a little less thanks to the cute weatherman he watches over a cup of coffee every morning.

The Songbird and the Sea - MissterMaia  (Mature) 

In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.

But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

Hey, Piano Man - MissterMaia  (Explicit) 

In which Yoongi, after having his evening completely ruined by a drunk asshole on his way home from a rough day at the studio, decides he himself needs to get drunk and wanders into an old-fashioned pub. He may or may not find his bad mood washed away by the cute bartender, and he may or may not end up completely and utterly smitten when said bartender gets on the small stage and starts singing in the most angelic, beautiful, seductive voice he's ever heard in all his life.

“You play the piano?”

“I... yeah, I do, actually. How'd you know?”

The bartender's smile is shy and confident all at once, and Yoongi's heart lurches in confusion. “Just a feeling,” Jimin says softly, busying himself with drying a glass. “Your hands are beautiful. They look like they were made to play an instrument.”

Soul Bond - springrain21 (Teens and Up) 

Everyone is born with a Soulmate, but not everyone gets to meet their other half in their lifetime. Twenty one year old Park Jimin suspects he will never meet his Soulmate. When he accidentally makes skin-to-skin contact with the cold, distant Min Yoongi, he discovers that the two of them are Soulmates. But what happens when Yoongi doesn't even believe in Soulmates? Will Jimin develop the deadly condition known as Soul Sickness? And will Yoongi make it in time to save him?

Love is fulfilment of the law - Yoongi_trash (Teen and Up)

"They were a strange couple, Jimin knew it. He knew that it was wrong on so many levels. On every level. He'd read the books, knew the laws; homosexuality was a sin and it always would be. But Jimin couldn't help it, couldn't deny his feelings for Yoongi."

AKA the church AU in which Jimin is a probably an angel sent from heaven and Yoongi's nickname is the Antichrist

time follows you (and fades) - thebestofme (Teen and Up)

hp!au - how half-veela!jimin and yoongi fall in love in the Slytherin common room.

(or, two sides of one story: Jimin worries about the effects of his Allure and hides his veela nature; Yoongi loves Jiminie but is too confused by mixed signals to act on it).

you and me (are the difference between real love and the love on tv) - inkingbrushes (Teen and Up)

Yoongi is pretty sure his friends are conspiring against him.

Or: that stupid college au where they're all drunk and playing the "of course" game.

smile like silver - jflawless (Teen and Up)

Anonymous said: could you do a yoonmin fic where yoongi gets a tongue piercing ? and jimin just really likes it

when you’re in love all the lines get blurred - jflawless (Teen and Up)

Jimin isn't sure what possessed him to lie to his mother and tell her that he had a boyfriend, but now that he's opened the position, he has no choice but to fill it. Yoongi is, apparently, his only option.

It’s your Birthday but you’re my Gift - smoljean (General Audiences) 

Yoongi celebrates 5 birthdays with Jimin over the course of 20 years. (aka Yoongi growing up with Jimin only to realise he's falling for his childhood friend).

you wish i was yours (and i hope that you’re mine) -  awsuga (Mature)

Jimin is getting ready to sleep his summer away now that all his friends have left for college except for him. That is, though, until he meets Yoongi. A boy two years older than him from the city, who has been kicked out by his parents and is now living with his aunt.

Because of Yoongi Jimin learns more about himself in one summer than he has his entire life.

give me a sign - iwillalwaysbelieve (Teen and Up) 

Yoongi thinks the universe is a dick for a lot of reasons. Reason #1: It gave a deaf person a soul-mark that revolves around speech. Reason #2: Once he decided to hate his soulmate no matter what they were like, the universe gave him a really attractive soulmate. Reason #3: Said soulmate is overly kind, no matter how much of a dick Yoongi is. Reason #4: Yoongi is definitely fucked.

Midnight Dreamers - ghuns (Teens and Up)

Soulmates. They're something vague and the only clues to them lie within your dreams.

Speak to Me - noonatha  (General Audience)

Yoongi might not be able to hear what he's missing out on, but he can see it.

 give me thirty days (to fall in love with you) - kstorms  (Teens and Up)

"Hi! I’m Park Jimin!” when he gets no reaction, Jimin pushes on, a little hesitantly. “As in, your soulmate?”

or

Jimin meets his soulmate, and it doesn't go the way he's planned (nothing ever does, really).

Once Upon A Dream - yururin (Teens and Up)

“Somebody once promised they’d find you, and that they’ll love you more than they already do,” Yoongi murmurs, a smile on his lips when recognition sparks in Jimin’s eyes, “somebody once promised they’d ask you to be theirs when they can finally do so again.”

Jimin doesn’t say anything—just leans into Yoongi’s touch, that same shy smile Yoongi has grown to love still on his face.

“Be mine, Park Jimin?”

(or alternatively: "that yoonmin soulmates AU where you can see a glimpse of your past life on the eve of your 18th birthday and Jimin dreams of a forbidden Joseon era love story with an upperclassman Min Yoongi, popular basketball player in uni, 18384/10 out of his reach".)

Time Lapse - NomNams  (Explicit)

Min Yoongi is a time jumper, and Jimin is tethered to his timeline. Or he's tethered to Jimin's. Who knows. All Yoongi knows, is that no matter where he jumps to, Park Jimin will be waiting. __________

"Give me a reason not to think you're some spy working for the government who plans to..."

"You have a cow lick above your right ear. There's a scar on your right knee cap that you got when you were four falling off a pony in Daegu. You have a birthmark patch low on your left butt cheek, and another on your inner..."

"Fine. Fine. Just... please stop there." Yoongi begged, blushing five shades of red.

Bullet Boy - sugamins  (Explicit)

If you want to make it big, you’ve got to start off small. This is something that Jimin acknowledges, for he just carries on singing features for underground rappers in the hopes of breaking into the mainstream scene even when the lyrics mean nothing to him.

If you want to make it in the scene, you’ve got to fake it in the scene. This is something that Yoongi understands intimately. But he’s never been one to be a poser, and there’s only far stuntin’ can get you before you burn out like the end of a cigarette.

Yoongi finally wants to move on from his bad past and take the gamble so that he can drop his first mixtape as ‘D-boy’, and he can’t think of anyone more perfect to feature on it than rising talent: Park Jimin.

Jimin really wants to break free from nights spent singing at hip hop clubs for a pittance and finally have his name on an official track in the music charts, but he’s going to need some help navigating the brutal world of music contracts and the paparazzi; and being involved in a scandal the likes of which the industry has never seen before.

Multi-Ship (is that even a thing?)

Namjin, Yoonmin and Taekook: 

Nyctophile - yururin  (Mature) 

"Like I said, monsters aren't real, Taehyung."

Jimin quickly pulled the closet doors open.

At the bottom of the closet, sitting on the floor and leaning heavily against the walls, was a man with dark pink hair clad in dark clothes, bleeding and injured and looking positively close to death.

Jimin didn't know what to do.

Craigslist Date - springrain21 (Mature)

Main Ship: Yoonmin

Min Yoongi's family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won't stop nagging him about how he's still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone's fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can't help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi's family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn't know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever?

Inspired by that tumblr post about the guy on Craigslist who you can hire to be your date for Thanksgiving to screw with your family because that post makes me cry laughing every time I see it.

Soulmate? No, Thanks - Bookworming (Teen and Up)

Main Ship: Yoonmin

Min Yoongi has been waiting to have his first colour dream since he was 17 because a dream in colour is the dream of your soulmate, whoever they are. In a world where all humans have only black and white dreams the only colour dreams one gets are those of their soulmate, if they have one. Soulmates get each other's dreams in colour and can speak to them through those dreams, a privilege Yoongi has coveted for a long time. Yoongi has also coveted his best friend Kim Seokjin for a long time but unfortunately for Yoongi, Seokjin's soulmate loves sleeping and occupies his mind in a way Yoongi never does. Park Jimin made the worst mistake of his life by getting drunk and driving himself home one day before his 17th birthday. When he wakes up, things have changed drastically, the biggest change being the sexy voice that interrupted his first pleasant dream in a LONG time.

Yoonminkook, Namjin and Vhope: 

Let Me Know - TheOrgasmicSeke  (Mature) 

Main Ship: Yoonminkook

Talking about it, of course, became harder as the days passed by. Yoongi could never find the right time to bring it up. He was still wondering if he was just imaging things. If he was just thinking he was feeling the things he was feeling. But that was quickly disproved every single time Jimin curled up around him and Jungkook kissed him. He was a fucking idiot in love with two bigger idiots and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Except probably ruin it by talking about it. Hell, maybe it was better to just never mention it and pretend it wasn't happening.

Namjin, Yoonmin and Vhope:

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? - melecs  (Teens and Up) (a series)

Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi. And Seokjin worked in the children’s department.

Namjin and Yoonmin:

When life gives you elephants… - tired angry egg (Mirabelle)

(Its a series so each part has a different summary and rating) 

[junhoontrash]

Brief Analysis On All Jun Ships V2

Disclaimer: While this analysis is based on canon moments I’ve observed, all “conclusions” and assumptions are from my own biased perspective and should by no means be taken any more seriously than a grain of salt.

This analysis is slightly more analyze-y than the previous one (which was more similar to a moments compilation), so brace yourselves with walls of text.

With that said, let’s begin version 2 of the over-analysis -

JunCheol

As mentioned before, this ship rarely has moments, but whenever they do happen, it’s the purest and most genuine thing.

Personally, I still feel that this ship is possibly the Jun ship that is least aware of its existence, as in their moments don’t happen “on purpose”. Let’s face it, it’s obvious that idols know more or less about the whole shipping culture and actually use it to their advantage to a certain extent. Fortunately, idols are still human so it’s often quite easy to tell when they’re being forced into moments, like nervous blinking, hesitant arm raise, stiffening of shoulders, etc. But for JunCheol, everything they do is completely natural, and it may partially be because they’re both the type to like/have high tolerance for skin ship.

Unfortunately for JunCheol shippers, it is true that their moments seem to have decreased over the past year, but that is due to the fact that Jun no longer needs as much help, and S.Coups probably feels more comfortable with leaving him to take care of himself.

On the other hand, I feel that JunCheol’s relationship has evolved from the father-and-his-oldest-adopted-son to more of a “friend” level.

In Jun’s POV, S.Coups is probably the member he respects the most, both because of his position as their general leader, the eldest member, and his “manly hyung” image. He did say once that he admired S.Coups’ manliness and confidence on stage, though on the other hand S.Coups also commented that Jun’s a manly person when asked by a fan to write down Jun’s good points.

Of course, S.Coups still looks out for Jun a lot in the background, like when he’s dancing alone on the side or when he’s zoning off into Jun land. He also never fails to compliment Jun, whether it’s about his good looks or his improving Korean skills.

I know I’m just repeating myself over and over again with this, but JunCheol’s interactions are incredibly natural. Among other members (including other Jun ships), sometimes, just sometimes, there’s a bit of awkwardness involved in their moments, like the receiver of skin ship getting startled by the sudden initiation; but for JunCheol, neither of them bats an eye, no matter how sudden the action is. A recent example I would pull up would be that time when Jun peeled(?) something off S.Coups, and the leader just stood there obediently. In fact, he actually moved closer with his head tilted to make it easier on Jun. I read this as complete trust. In addition, S.Coups probably knows Jun well enough to guess what he was trying to do and caught on immediately.

Also, when they first performed the Crazy in Love choreo, S.Coups had his arm on Jun’s shoulder even though that part was not choreographed (since it never happened again after that one time).

In addition, Jun is a very hyper person by himself and around younger members, and the way he usually cheers people up is by rubbing their shoulders and making exaggerated faces; but when he saw S.Coups crying in Caratland, Jun just stood on the side quietly with a handful of tissues, and only handed them to him after he turned around. This is probably because he didn’t want to draw attention, S.Coups had his back turned because he didn’t want the fans (and possibly any of the other members) to notice. If this isn’t the most respectful thing, I—

Speaking of crying and hoping no one would see, Jun does the same thing, so it is possible that it’s easy for him to notice when others are hiding their feelings. This goes for S.Coups as well.

On another note, the reason why I said their relationship evolved to a friend level is because S.Coups seems to be dragging Jun a lot lately lol, whenever he’s, you know, being Jun. In earlier stages, S.Coups probably felt responsibility as his hyung more, and thus was only focused on looking after him. Now he’s become much more comfortable with making fun of him, like how he commented that Jun’s only quiet on cam, he’ll return to normal once the camera gets turned off.

Jun commented that S.Coups is really hard to wake up, I guess this suggests that Jun’s tried to wake him up before… Idk just thinking of that makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy over this ship lol

S.Coups knows Jun very well, if his banters with him doesn’t prove that enough. During OFD, while everyone else was busy buttering emperor!Jun up, Coups was the only one who tried to rile him up, because he knew Jun wouldn’t fight back.

Visually, when I see the two of them together it’s often S.Coups with his arm around Jun, and I get this “protector” vibe from him. I probably wrote too much for this ship, we should move on.

JunHan

My stance stands that they’re the mom line, except when they’re together, then Jun’s just the oldest son. The group’s too big for just one mom so they split up duties.

Let’s talk about the most recent JunHan moment that was dug up lol, obviously, these two really like to banter with each other. Particularly, Jeonghan likes to “bully” Jun, or just the members in general, so it’s obvious that Jun doubted Jeonghan’s method of preparing sad emotions. In addition, Jun and Jeonghan both like to prank the others, so you know… the more of a prankster you are, the more cautious you are of pranks being pulled on you.

Even though they were close pre-debut, JunHan’s always been one of the more “formal” Jun ships for me. It leads me to believe that maybe Jun was so “handsy” with Jeonghan pre-debut because of their language barrier, and Jun is just a naturally fond person, so he probably tried to express himself more physically. If you look back at their old videos together, you’ll notice that Jun rarely spoke at all, it was normally Jeonghan leading and Jun would just be… doing stuff, for the most part. Now that his Korean’s improved, he doesn’t have to rely on skin ship as much.

However, that doesn’t mean they’re not just as “real” as any other ship. Let’s face it, it’s impossible for everyone to be on “equally good” terms in such a large group, so there are bound to be mini friend groups or at least certain members that are closer than others, even members that they’d have a preference over others. That’s just human nature. What I’m going with this is - I’d probably describe JunHan as the two friends within the same friend group that aren’t as close with each other alone, but still know each other just as well.

They were once seen hanging out together on break, so naturally, they don’t have a forced friendship, I would just describe them as the least closest out of their closest group of friends (not out of the entire SVT group, just their mini group of friends whoever that’s made up with). We all have/had a friend like that, right?

The reason why I feel a sense of “formality” with them is because Jeonghan’s always had this “I have to look after this kid” aura when he’s with Jun, and that’s probably the best way to describe Jeonghan’s role in this ship. It’s not that they’re not close, they’re obviously close, but it seems to be less of a “friend” relationship and more of a “sibling” relationship. You care for each other, you understand each other more than anyone else, you’re very much alike in some sense even if you probably don’t want to accept it, but you wouldn’t want to “hang out” with them or be “playmates” with them if other options are available.

To prove my previous point about Jeonghan feeling the need to look after Jun, he stated blatantly in the “All About Vocal Unit” video that Jun’s a “cheerful guy”, and he feels that he’d be taken advantage of if he’s not there for him. For the most part, I feel that Jun just worries Jeonghan a lot because the latter cares for him too much sometimes. Maybe Jeonghan worries about Jun’s screen time more than his own to be very honest.

Anyway, to make a clearer idea, out of all the three hyungs Jun has in the group, Jeonghan seems to be the most “hyung-like” to him in terms of how he’s constantly worrying over and taking care of him while the others treat him more on the “same level”, if that makes any sense at all. Does that mean he’s the least close to him? Not at all, you wouldn’t take care of someone to almost an overprotective level if you weren’t close, right?

JunShua

Speaking of Jun’s relationships with his hyungs, I’m pretty confident that Joshua’s the hyung he’s the closest with, or at least the one he’s most comfortable around.

As I’ve stated before, might be because Joshua grew up in America so the hyung-dongsaeng formality doesn’t effect him as much, and also due to it being looser in China as well, Jun and Joshua seem to be the age gap combination who can hang out most comfortably together. Sure, there’s also JunHao, but their situation’s a little special, which will be addressed in their section.

Unlike Jeonghan and S.Coups who are both vocally supportive of Jun, Joshua is more quietly supportive on the side with little actions and soft “pep talks”. Like when Jun gets nervous about being called out on V lives, Joshua would put his hand on his shoulder or pat him on the back, he’d also encourage him on the side and tell him to just say whatever. Notice that Joshua doesn’t really initiate talk himself, but he would always hype Jun up and give big reactions to whatever he has to say.

Which brings me back to my first point about Joshua being the hyung he’s the closest to. While S.Coups is a friend to Jun, and Jeonghan is a brother/mom figure, Joshua is a good mixture of both. They consider each other “bros”, but at the same time, Joshua also takes close attention to Jun and looks after him like a proper hyung.

Joshua has a very high tolerance for Jun’s weirdness, and instead of ignoring it, he’s willing to “pay it back”, as shown by JunShua’s infamous buttslapping shenanigans.

JunShua are possibly the top Internet/social media surfers/users in the group, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were also the most “well read” when it comes to the concept of shipping. There are moments where it feels like they’re purposely teasing shippers with poses, like when they pretend to whisper in unnaturally intense ways, or when Jun pretended to kiss Joshua. In addition, Joshua also calls upon Jun to give fanservice with him during fanmeets, and I don’t think he does that with any other member.

Also that time when Joshua complained about Jun unwilling to go biking with him ever again, clearly Jun shouldn’t have been the first to complain given the reactions from the others, but Joshua was particularly upset about Jun being unwilling. It’s probably one of those “we used to do everything together, what changed” moments.

Shouldn’t it also be significant that Jun, normally an apparently very kind person, was driven to saying something so mean? Yeah, Joshua’s an inconsiderate biking pal, but you also have to be close enough to a person to be so direct.

The way Joshua looks at Jun is just… so endearing. I feel like Joshua just adores Jun a lot in general ;;;;

SoonHui

In 96-line, SoonHui probably has the most “business-like” relationship, that’s not to say that they’re not close, it’s just a matter of being respectful and acknowledging their differences.

Even though Hoshi is very, very technically “younger”, I often get a hyung vibe from him when he’s interacting with Jun, and that’s saying a lot because he usually has the immature hyper image.

One would think that since they’re both June babies, 96-line, Gemini, B blood type, part of the Perf Unit, they’d be the closest, having so much in common. But maybe it’s exactly because they’re so much alike that they have just a little distance in comparison to their relationship with the other 96ers.

To understand SoonHui’s relationship overall, we need to take a closer look at Hoshi’s personality. Personally, I do believe that Hoshi has a different personality off cam, in the sense that he’s a lot more serious during practice, and probably very strict, especially when he’s just with Performance Unit. The other units have noted that Perf Unit is the most serious out of the three, and that’s very much believable since Hoshi, Dino, and The8 are all the type who, if I were to put it in an uglier manner, are more likely to crack under pressure, which is why Hoshi and the others call Jun the “median” and balance in their unit. Hoshi is bright and cheery under normal circumstances, but I will believe that he gets short-tempered under pressure, which The8 had addressed before and Hoshi had confessed to as well. But that just goes to show how seriously Hoshi takes his own responsibility as the choreographer and unit leader, and because he has such a strong sense of responsibility, he feels the need to make sure Jun feels included. As mentioned in the previous analysis, Hoshi is the one who calls on Jun the most, and that hasn’t changed.

It is very possible that Hoshi’s the type who’s closer with those that aren’t his age, as shown by how he normally hangs out with BooSeok and teases Dino, also apparently cuddles up to his hyungs according to S.Coups. Hence why Hoshi is often away from the rest of 96-line (he’s close with them individually, but to be honest we’ve never seen all four together on their own accord, and we see WonJunHoon more than WonSoonHui).

So SoonHui’s relationship overall, I would say that Hoshi’s the one who “raised” Jun throughout his entire time in South Korea lol. In their pre-debut vids, Hoshi would often initiate interactions with Jun, not to mention they have been roommates for a very long time. More than a parent though, Hoshi’s more like an elder sibling (even though he’s five days younger). During a break when Jun couldn’t go home, he went to stay at Hoshi’s place.

“Roommates” is probably also a good way to describe SoonHui’s general relationship. Normally, we wouldn’t call our roommates our “friends”, but that doesn’t mean we’re not close. We also choose not to hangout as often because we’re already constantly together, it’s like that relationship level wedged between friends and family, hence why we don’t see SoonHui sticking together as often as we would for their other ships.

In addition, because Hoshi is so serious when they work, Jun is probably used to “giving him space”, so he’s not as clingy with him as he is to say, Wonwoo and Woozi. The concept of “giving him space” may also come from Hoshi’s role as his unit leader, where he subconsciously feels respect for him. Jun once answered “Hoshi” when asked who his favorite dancer was, he also mentioned that he felt inspired to become a better dancer when he saw Hoshi (and Woozi) perform during their trainee days.

But, I will say that SoonHui are pretty protective of each other. Jun once told a fan seriously to “please don’t misunderstand” when they joked about whether Hoshi actually called himself a prince in private, and Hoshi always talks about how it must be hard for Jun as a foreigner, he also encourages Jun to talk about his hardships (even though Jun still insists there are none).

Hoshi is always watching Jun from the corner of his eye, he always notices the little things Jun does and if he needs an extra chair (very specific, but you get the idea). So like I said, they aren’t the clingiest of ships, but they’re definitely not distant. You don’t have to be clingy to show how much you care for someone.

In addition, Hoshi described Jun as a “precious person”, more specifically, a person who needs to be treasured.

WonHui

I’ve been waiting to rewrite an analysis about this ship for a while. But anyway, I would actually dare to say that Jun is probably the closest with Wonwoo out of all the members in terms of being “friends”.

Similar taste in food, similar taste in lame jokes, bunk mates in addition to being roommates… I’ll be honest, their chemistry is no lie, they just complement each other so well.

I’m never going to get over the fact that Wonwoo described his relationship with Jun to be “especially good” (his wording implies that their relationship is better than what they have with most of the others, to be put blatantly).

They’re so close that their communication is often based on silently being dorks in the background instead of vocal banter.

I’d almost describe their relationship as love-hate, constantly making fun of each other and playfighting. I’ve noticed for a while that the way Jun expresses adoration towards the members is by initiating playfights, this goes back to pre-debut. But Wonwoo is one of the few who understands that and initiates playfighting as well (others include Woozi, Mingyu, Vernon, and Joshua, The8′s case is again, a little more complex); even then, no one else initiates quite as often as Wonwoo does.

Bitterwoo

Possessivewoo

Most members would just let Jun be when he’s being an oddball, but Wonwoo just has to join in or get himself involved and then act like he doesn’t care for it at all

Jun was playing with a box at a fanmeet once and apparently gave Wonwoo the idea of becoming a “package” that he pushes out for the fans. Wonwoo agreed to do it. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

Yes, we all know Jun’s a clingy person, but when you line all the members up and think about it, he doesn’t just cling to anyone. Conditions would include how Jun personally feels for the member, and if said member is okay with his clinginess, that’s why certain members get clung onto a lot more. So is it one-sided if Wonwoo’s the most-clung-upon member?

Jun is often described as a “nice/kind/gentle person” by the others (including Wonwoo), though it seems like he’s particularly violent/mean towards Wonwoo in the sense that he makes fun of him (like saying he’s the sillier one, stating that his favorite thing to do in their room is punch Wonwoo while the latter’s playing video games, and even though he gave everyone a selca lesson, he openly laughed at Wonwoo’s supposedly “bad skill”) It just proves that Jun is especially comfortable with him, and it helps that they’re in the same age line. Jun also stayed at Wonwoo's place at some point.

If eye contact could kill… Also Jun’s habit of looking at Wonwoo for reassurance when he finishes talking is...

I mean, there has to be a reason why his mom seems to ship WonHui, right? Maybe he mentions him the most when they talk, who knows? who am I kidding everyone knows

Wonwoo always shows particular attention to the conversation when Jun’s involved, also his smile whenever Jun talks says it all.

JunHoon

Ah yes, my bias ship. I am proud of Woozi for finally accepting the fact that he has a soft spot for Jun.

“I laugh a lot because of Junhui… because he’s so cute.” - Woozi

Woozi is ironically not a very vocal person, so we have another “action-based” ship, but the good news for JunHoon shippers is that this ship is actually physically action-based, unlike others that are based on eye contact //cough jungyu wonhui

Woozi’s face just breaks easily into a smile whenever Jun talks, it’s adorable. Then his expression just returns back to normal when Jun’s done with whatever he was doing.

As mentioned before, Woozi is not a very vocal person for the most part, but he gets very vocal when it comes to Jun, he doesn’t even try to hide his fondness for the kid anymore. It seems like whenever the others mention Jun, Woozi just has to get his own two cents in as well, even with fans.

JunHoon’s relationship growth is pretty amazing if you think about it. From close-to-nothing to the explosion during Pretty U era, and then to “Everything about Woozi is cute” / ”Because [Jun’s] so cute.”

Not to mention in Pretty U and Very Nice, Woozi would still try to ignore Jun’s shenanigans (like shaking his head when Jun stares at him / tries to mess with him), but then that evolved into Woozi halfheartedly threatening to hit him. Also they talk to each other a lot more on stage, probably to exchange lame jokes (along with Wonwoo).

Woozi described Jun as a person who “deserves to be liked”.

We like to joke that Jun doesn’t understand danger when he teases Woozi, but in reality he just likes making Woozi “angry” on purpose, as shown by his “description” of how 96-liners react to his pranks. (WZ: …) I think we tend to underestimate Jun’s observation skills.

Woozi helps Jun eat his share of rice, always this is very important and should never be forgotten

The fact that Woozi just allows Jun to do whatever he wants and get away with it (sometimes he even goes along with it), that’s love right there.

Jun getting permission to lift Woozi up twice on his birthday will go down in history

In general, there is nothing too complex about this ship, they’re pretty straightforward lol is it really necessary to explain more

SeokHui

As I mentioned before, possibly a ship that has more moments off cam than on. Like JunCheol, SeokHui lacks moments on cam, but when they do happen, they’re not the least bit awkward.

DK used to teach Jun how to sing during pre-debut, and he was very patient with him. On the other hand, Jun often compliments DK’s singing and says that, “To be honest, I really like Dokyeommie’s voice!”

Unlike Jun’s other ships, SeokHui is more vocally active. DK doesn’t shy away from hyping Jun up, and Jun apparently likes to imitate the way DK talks. In addition, DK is always one of the first ones to react when Jun finishes embarrassing himself his segment.

Like I said before, most members tend to ignore or laugh off Jun’s odd one-liners, but DK is one of the few who are able to continue to the conversation without even batting an eye. For example, during the 2/18 pair’s birthday, DK asked Jun if he wanted to say something or give them kisses, Jun said, “I want to do both”, and DK just said, “All right, I understand~ (indicating for Jun to go ahead)”.

We’ve explained the concept of acting violent towards those whom you’re comfortable with, so let me remind you of how our ever so nice and kind DK threw a dainty punch in Jun’s chest when he tried to mess with pidgeon!DK. Also that time when DK took a Gudetama toy and just smashed it into Jun’s face, then walked away. Brutal.

DK described Jun as a dongsaeng-like hyung, he also seems to treat Jun just that way. For example, he pinched his cheek in a photo where Jun was wearing his yellow animal costume.

JunGyu

This ship is still so friggin’ adorable, literally because they’re both 5-year-olds trapped inside 180+cm bodies.

Goes without saying that Mingyu likes to tease Jun a lot, bringing up embarrassing stories and tendencies, having no respect for him as a hyung, and Jun repays him by slapping him.

Almost 90% sure that Mingyu came up with the “Moon Junnie” nickname, seeing as he has to constantly call it out.

Candidate for Jun’s #1 fanboy.

Mingyu might like to “play” with Jun the most out of all the hyungs, and apparently Mingyu is the member who likes to perform skin ship the most, so that fares well in Jun��s book. Not to mention Jun is a sucker for visuals.

Maybe it’s because of Jun’s tendency of spoiling his dongsaengs, but Jun seems very insistent on “looking after” the younger members (even though they’re the ones who have to look after him). Even though he has a smaller built, Jun insisted on piggybacking Mingyu, even after the latter offered to piggyback him at first; clearly this made our Puppygyu very happy, and he eagerly hopped onto his hyung’s back.

Pup-and-kitten dynamics.

Mingyu mentioned that Jun is becoming similar to him in terms of personality, and JunGyu is another strong candidate for the whispering + eye contact couple. 

Their height difference kills me every time, especially the way Mingyu has to glance down when he’s talking to Jun, his gaze looks so soft and proud when he manages to make Jun laugh. 

On another note, Jun is probably the most immune and tolerant when it comes to Mingyu being a puppy and needs constant attention, he can often be seen snickering in the background whenever clumsy!gyu takes over.

Mingyu keeps a pretty close eye on Jun and is probably obvious about it. During their rolling paper segment, Jun guessed that Mingyu wrote one of them because he often told Jun to stop eating breakfast alone.

Speaking of food, Mingyu once ate an entire box of macaroons on a fanmeet, not before sharing one with Jun. Speaking of sharing food, Mingyu used to eat from Jun’s hand.

Sharing food, if that’s not love- I should stop saying this.

JunHao

Our most complicated Jun ship. As mentioned previously, I didn’t particularly like this ship because I wasn’t buying any of their awkward forced moments, The8 in particular seemed uncomfortable with this arrangement.

And let’s be honest, he was. Not because he was shipped with Jun, but because he was being shipped with Jun as the “soft cutesy other Chinese boy who needs to rely on his Chinese gege”, and that’s just not him. I’ve been observing The8 for a while, and it dawned on me that he was probably uncomfortable with the image given to him as a whole.

Jun mentioned that when The8 first arrived, he was your typical “b-boy”, completely contrary to the initial image of a “fluffy cute boy” he was very possibly forced into. It’s not all that surprising since he was still having trouble with the language so the others may not understand them as well as they do now. It seemed like The8 went through a depressed period even after debut, openly voicing that he was worried that no one liked him.

Then there was a period of time when The8 seemed like he wanted to distant himself from Jun, maybe they had an arrangement and it wasn’t just one-sided. Maybe Jun knew about The8′s insecurities, but he couldn’t really do anything to actually help so he just tried to act normal. The8 once mentioned that he felt like his differences with Jun is becoming more apparent, largely due to Jun being a very laid-back person while The8 easily gets worried. So maybe Jun wasn’t being all that helpful either after The8 told him about his insecurities. On one hand, yes, it is absolutely possible that Jun may have been insensitive, and yes, it is also possible that The8 felt that Jun wasn’t sensitive enough even if he did try to comfort him (maybe by telling him to just go to sleep who knows). Whatever the case, things probably weren’t going well between them in that sense.

But things finally looked up for The8 when Pretty U came along, being able to change his image and all. His relationship with the other members also expanded, so he didn’t have to just rely on Jun, and they were possibly able to renew their relationship from there. It’s not like their friendship ever broke off, but it is very possible it was in a very rocky place for a brief period of time.

The more current JunHao moments are a lot more natural, especially now that they’re showing their true dynamic, which is leaning more towards love-hate, definitely not “helpless-clingy-but-also-tsundere-dongsaeng vs manlier-more-experienced-hyung”.

True, their physical moments may still be intentional because of the whole “official ships” setup, but not all of them. They seem to be still close in private, and The8 is possibly the only member Jun tells insecurities to; all the other members claim that Jun’s never said he feels tired, but The8 once wrote, “Thank you for always coming to me when you’re tired.”

The8 also still talks to Jun about his worries, this was mentioned during a fairly recent fanmeet (DWC era). Jun told a fan that The8 came to talk with him about something that upset him the night before.

JunHao consulting each other seems to be a known thing among all the members as well, Seungkwan noted that “I’ve never heard Jun-hyung complain before, not even to The8-hyung.”

I do believe that they have a special bond that possibly runs deeper than all other ships, but rather than just having a close friendship, their bond is more like that of brothers. They don’t constantly hang around each other under normal circumstances, and most likely don’t want to, but they’re close in private and they don’t have to always be physical and mushy to prove it.

JunKwan

Such a pure ship. Seungkwan takes care of Jun a lot on cam, but my bet is that Jun takes care of Seungkwan off cam.

Seungkwan is a very sensitive person, which means it is very possible that he gets upset over things easily. On the other hand, Jun is the type who tries to disperse negative energy by cramming in positive energy, so he probably goofs around a lot to cheer Seungkwan up. Whether that works or not I don’t know, but it’s a plausible scenario.

Yes, I am going to bring up the fact that JunKwan went out to play together after their Japan concerts. If that’s not proving how close they are, what is?

Another candidate for Jun’s #1 fanboy. A V live is not a V live without Seungkwan throwing Jun under the bus bringing Jun up or prompting him to talk.

I mentioned this in the previous analysis, but this ship has mutual adoration. The way they watch over each other is adorable. When Jun tried and failed to reenact his imitation of DK, Seungkwan made the most endearing expression ever.

Seungkwan’s the spokesperson for all Jun stans, let’s be honest. Bless this boy.

Another member who worries about Jun’s screen time more than his own.

I feel like Seungkwan treats Jun like a dongsaeng, but Jun also tries to take care of him as a hyung, which makes their dynamics all the more endearing. Trying to out-take-care the other.

JunSol

Third candidate for Jun’s #1 fanboy

Jun’s habit of calling Vernon “Hansol” even on cam.

Also they’re such aliens. Seungkwan once stated that they both have minds of “4D species”. Though it’s because they’re both so weird that they’re able to communicate / get along easily. Not to mention they both have similar easygoing personalities.

On the other hand, Jun and Vernon are different types of weird, so they don’t “clash” as awkwardly with the “too similar to be close” concept. Vernon is the “independent” weirdo who does things at his own pace and the weirdness often happens more inside his head, while Jun’s weirdness shows more physically and he often gets others involved, by accident or not.

Despite being an alien like Vernon, Jun observes the younger and worries over him, as mentioned very recently that he’d be the first member he’d try to save in a pinch because he gives off a “helpless vibe”.

Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure Jun would claim Vernon as his baby if he were the type to say stuff like that out loud like Jeonghan. Both 98-liners would be adopted by Jun if he had a say in it.

Overall, this is a very peaceful/straightforward ship, and their relationship has been pretty constant since pre-debut. Okay, maybe Jun still babies Vernon a little, like feeding him in OFD and V lives, and Vernon’s obviously matured since the time he had to jump on Jun’s back for a piggyback ride, but Vernon doesn’t really complain (let the growing do the talking).

Vernon’s going to outgrow Jun’s crib for him soon. That scene in OFD2 says everything. Their need to be in constant physical contact with each other is a big JunSol trait.

The scene of Jun finally (secretly) shedding tears on stage and Vernon first teasing him and then comforting him is legendary. Not to mention that one time when Jun seemed to be scolding Vernon for coming to him last after his aerobics performance.

I still believe this ship has the most skin ship with one another, or at least has the most equal contribution of skin ship.

Vernon tends to overreact to everything Jun does, tracing back since Mansae era.

Instead of trying to contain each other’s weirdness, they make a match out of it. Is that not cute?

ChanHui

Although Jun mentioned that all his dongsaengs are cute, and babies pretty much all of dongsaeng line, Dino’s the only one he seems to be hesitant with despite being in the same unit. This is because he sees and treats Dino as an adult (which was mentioned by Dino during a fanmeet), possibly tracing back to pre-debut when Dino and Vernon taught Jun how to dance.

Jun really has a lot of respect for Dino as a dancer and admires how hardworking he is, but as an older brother at home, it is probably hard for Jun to get rid of his “big brother” senses all together and still worries over him (despite fully acknowledging his capabilities and skills).

I’ve mentioned before that ChanHui is a little bit awkward, and their case is similar to JunHao’s. Dino is a very serious but sensitive kid, it is almost painfully obvious. It is insanely hard to be the maknae in a group of 13 people, he probably feels the constant need to prove himself, and it is very possible that his suggestions are often disregarded because of his position (we’ve seen a brief tense period with him, S.Coups, and Woozi in 17 Project). Dino doesn’t seem to take well to teasing during stressful periods, like when they’re preparing for a concert or thinking about choreography. This was more prominent when they first started out, but he’s really grown since then. Dino’s personality is very similar to Hoshi’s where they might be a little intense under stress, which is why Jun’s carefree attitude may very well strike the wrong chord.

While Jun acknowledges Dino, he still gets worried over whether he’s taking care of himself, and Dino may find the fuss to be annoying at certain moments due to his serious personality in addition to the fact that he dislikes being “coddled”. It’s this clash that causes a certain sense of awkwardness.

Like I said though, Dino’s been improving a lot in terms of being able to deal with ups-and-downs, as shown by how quick he was to react during Hoshi’s outburst in OFD2. He also seems to care for Jun a lot more, or has become more verbal about it, like how he hypes Jun up in V lives and mentions him more in interviews and other instances.

Let’s not forget the birthday kiss Jun gave Dino, that probably explains their relationship a lot as well. If Dino were to be completely cold and indifferent to Jun’s affection, I doubt he would have rushed to give him a kiss.

Dino doesn’t seem like the type to be able to express his feelings easily, or at least not under casual circumstances, while Jun can express his affection freely, which is a difference that makes them awkwardly sweet; especially when Dino writes to Jun, “Even though I don’t say this often, I love you ^^ Truly”, and tries to tell him happy birthday in Mandarin.

Jun is probably also a dongsaeng-like hyung to Dino, which in return probably means he feels comfortable with him when they’re under a relaxed environment. He seems fairly comfortable with him in fanmeets and even tries to appease him by acting cute (to no avail because Jun was denied love from him earlier), so that’s a thing.

Things are looking up for this ship as shown by very very recent moments (as recent as Jun’s once a day Jun V live that Dino took part in from the background). Jun accidentally called Dino by his real name (referring to him as “Channie”) a couple times before realizing he should be calling him Dino, which is pretty endearing on its own.

[allronix]

Salty asks: 1-27.

Assuming this is the fandom of your namesake. 

1. OTP that I just don’t get. Probably Sam/Tron. Not to say some folks can’t REALLY fucking rock it (see the “We Are Pilots” verse), but it takes a lot of work. Their only meeting in canon was in a duel to the death with the Program being brainwashed and crazy, and Sam has very little if any reason to even like the guy, even in a post-Legacy setup. 

2, Fandom OTP I only BroTP:  Probably Tron/Ram. Ram had too much chemistry with Flynn, and Tron was single-minded enough about Yori to put his deity on hold. While I can very easily see group marriage as a normal part of Program society, it’s not something I can see in canonical circumstances. 

3. Unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? Nope. But if they trash my faves, I hope they can back up their dislike with a very good argument. 

4.  A NoTP for my fandom. Not touching Sam/Alan with a 10-meter Rod Primitive. The age gap for one, the paternal role Alan took for two, the fact Lora is not dead in this timeline third, the fourth is the possibility of OT3: Shall We Dance making this ship even more brain-breaking.

5. Has fandom ruined a pairing for me? Not in this fandom, but I’ve avoided the hell out of some shows because I saw the fandom for them was such a big ball of crazy that I wanted to avoid it like kryptonite. 

6. Has fandom made me enjoy a pairing I previously hated? I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, and I’m not sure I’d call it “enjoy,” but there are some Clu/”Rinzler” fics that almost make the whole thing come out as something marginally less squicky and more interesting than “sadist and his sex slave.” 

7. Anything I used to like but dislike now? Y’know, I kinda used to dig Flynn/Alan slash. But after I realized I could make a drinking game out of them (take a shot if they mention Lora, chug the whole thing if they mention Jordan - stay sober the whole night), they lost a lot of appeal. I’ll make an exception for “Shall We Dance” scenarios. Heck, I love Shall We Dance because it’s a very different matter if Lora’s aware and on board with the whole thing. Heck, if someone upgrades it to an Ot4 of “Shall We Dance With Jordan,” then I owe them a six-pack of top-quality beer or cane-sugar soda and my enthusiastic gratitude. 

8. Anon hate? Yes. Received it. But over politics, not fandom. It’s to be expected. The Galaxy Rangers list used to have “don’t talk to Allronix about politics” as one of the bylaws. 

9. Most hated character? Probably Pavel. He’s such a transparent slimeball with little in the way of interesting motivation. Tesler? While he’s a nasty piece of work, there’s wiggle room to argue that he’s doing what he’s doing for the good of the system and doesn’t like doing what he does. Sark? Incredible ham and definitely one note, but David Warner plays the best creeps ever.  (He out-creeped Malcolm McDowell, that’s near-impossible) 

10. Most disliked arc. Probably the Isos. I’m still not sure what they were, or why they were special or what was so great about them, or how they would change everything, aside from the implication they were partly biological. Which is great and all, but the way it was handled has an “organics rule, synthethics drool” vibe that is pretty insulting when everything else in the franchise shows that the Programs are just as capable of love, hate, morality, humor, and free will as the humans who built them. 

11. Unpopular character I like that the fandom doesn’t? I just had to have the bad luck…or the good luck…to latch on very hard to the Tron 2.0 characters. Good luck in that it’s unexplored territory. Bad luck in that I seem to be the only one who writes Mercury, or Crown, or I-No. 

12. Unpopular arc I like the fandom doesn’t? 2.0 again. What got me about it is that the 1982 and Legacy films dealt with malevolent AI who were cruel of other AI and wanted to extend the cruelty. 2.0 inverted it; the uncorrupted Programs were, with very few exceptions, wanting to protect themselves and their home. The corrupted Programs were driven insane by a User who embraced the worst parts of the role. And then you had F-Con who planned to crank that up even more so that they could rule both worlds from the shadows. It really needed to be explored more, as it was a great start. 

13. Unpopular opinion about a character: Sam Flynn kinda spooks me. He has no reason to be merciful or benevolent to Programs. As far as he saw, his dad believed in them, and they stabbed his dad in the back, kept his dad away from him, tried to kill him, tried to kill Quorra, killed all of Quorra’s people, and eventually killed his dad right in front of him. And he’s taking over command of a software company with barely any time to process that trauma.  It’s probably not going to end well for the Programs unless something intervenes.

14. Unpopular opinion about the fandom: They have very little interest in reclaiming the female characters from the margins, and that’s quite frustrating. Quorra and Paige get some fics here and there, but even those petered out. Yes, this fandom is VERY heavily skewed male, but you’ve got Quorra, Paige, Mara, Gorn, Lux, Yori, Lora, Gem, etc. in Legacy canon, and some great potential with Mercury, Ma3a, and Eva Popoff if you import from 2.0. I was hoping to see at least SOMEONE write up a fanfic about Jordan. What kind of woman could handle a brilliant, cheerful, crazy ball of energy like 80′s!Flynn?  

15. Unpopular opinion about the canon: Legacy is very difficult for me to watch. Even though it totally brought the whole thing back from the dead, it’s just frustrating to watch. Not to say everyone didn’t bring their A-game to it, but it took everything that made the first film so much fun and destroyed it, ending up as a depressing waste where everyone loses, and Dillinger Jr is just waiting in the wings to cause even more trouble. 

16. If I could change anything about the canon, what to change? Tron 2.0 totally happened. It would not be hard to come up with a workaround for Ma3a that keeps Lora alive. There’s probably about three or four ways I could come up with other than the made of crack one I’ve got going in my fics. 

17. Instead of X happening, I’d go with Y: If you want something other than “instead of 2.0 being thrown out the airlock, it’s part of canon,” I would have loved to see Sam get rescued by Bartik’s crew (Bonus points if Yori’s running the damn thing) and then meet up with his dad and Quorra. That way, there could have been a little more complexity to the Grid situation and a way to avoid the whole “Programs are evil!” thing Legacy ended up with.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased? Shipping, IMO is shorthand for schools of character interpretation. Someone who ships Quorra/Sam is going to have a different take than someone who ships Quorra/Zues, or Quorra/Paige. They’re all looking at the same data, but the interpretation of the data is going to vary.   

19. One thing I dislike most about my fandom: It’s a back alley of the 80′s that its own company barely wants to admit they did. This makes canon and newcomers a little hard to come by.

20. Purest ship in the fandom. Tron/Yori was my first OTP. They’re still my OTP, because 82!Tron was such a sweet, earnest dork and Yori was such an adorable, sneaky badass. Post-Legacy? It’s going to be one heck of a climb no matter which guess you take about Yori’s fate (And seriously? Morgan got gypped), but having those two limp off into whatever digital sunset there is would be the closest we get to a happy ending that’s canon-compatible.

21. Crack ships? A crack ship for the sake of a crack ship is a “no thanks!” But there are ships that look like someone did them on a three-drink dare that actually manage to work. I’m thinking to KOTOR fandom where someone made a REALLY awesome case for Canderous/Bastila that should not have worked and totally did. 

22. Popular character I dislike: It’s not so much “dislike” as “I’m not sure what to make of them.” Really wanted some development on Sam. Quorra got Evolution and a nice episode of Uprising, but Sam…he’s still a bit of a blank to me. 

23. Unpopular character I adore:  I especially latched on hard to Jet Bradley after reading the Ghost in the Machine comic because he had clearly done a lot of thinking about what being a User means in that setting, and was bringing up points no one else bothered with. As such, he makes an excellent foil and walking deconstruction fleet while still being, ostensibly, one of the good guys. 

24. Would I recommend Tron to a friend? Only with a ton of disclaimers. This was made in the EARLY 80′s, by people who apparently had no fucking idea what they were doing, and Disney probably signed off on it while under the influence of something. But the combination ends up as something inexplicably brilliant and probably launched thousands of computer animation careers and hundreds more IT careers. 

25.   How would I end it? I’ve got fics in mind for it. I kitbash 2.0 and Legacy shamelessly. The ending I have in mind? Well, Alan and Lora end up giving up their lives in analog to rebuild the Rome Flynn started. Jet ends up dedicating his life to serving the Programs and goes a bit native. Mercury and Tron act as the primary “knights” of Alan and Lora. Sam and Quorra handle much of the rest in the analog world, slowly trying to open up the world and make it ready for the revelation of the digital one. And Yori runs a reformation of the Program religion so that they are prepared to accept the Users as fallible beings who are still powerful, but less “worship as deity” and more “we depend on one another - don’t screw it up.” 

26. Most shippable character? Probably Flynn. I can see him as a fellow who would (prior to the coup) enjoy himself and his opportunities to the fullest, including trying anything twice sexually. 

27. Least shippable character: Probably Esomond Baza. He’s a coward with so little self-esteem, self-respect, or a moral compass that he needs a few months of therapy before even thinking of a date. 

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND March 15, 2019  - WONDER PARK, CAPTIVE STATE, FIVE FEET APART

Since I’m writing quite a bit about the wide releases over at my regular gig at The Beat, I’m not sure what more I can say here.  Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel is clearly going to be the victor here, but I’ve only seen one of the new wide releases.

Probably the strongest of the new offerings is Paramount’s WONDER PARK, an animated family film featuring the voices of Jennifer Garner, Mila Kunis, Kenan Thompson, Ken Jeong, Matthew Broderick, John Oliver and many more. It’s also the only animated movie ever to be made without a director – at least, there is none credited, which is never a good sign for a movie, as it generally means problems in production. Generally, kids won’t care about that and it looks like a fun premise with a lot of talking animals that I personally will never ever see.

The young adult romantic drama FIVE FEET APART, the latest from CBS Films, stars Cole Sprouse from Riverdale and Disney Channel’s The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and Haley Lu Richardson from Split and awesome movies like Support the Girls, The Edge of Seventeen and Operation Finale. This is a teen drama in the vein of Josh Boone’s The Fault In Her Stars to the point where I feel it might be a direct rip-off of it, but since I haven’t actually seen it, I’m going to assume that this is a romance between two young people who need to remain five feet apart, and I’m not sure you can even get to first base at that distance.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes director Rupert Wyatt returns with the sci-fi thriller CAPTIVE STATE (Focus Features), is the one movie of the weekend I did see, and that’s an interesting look at an alien incursion nine years after they’ve arrived. It takes place in Chicago and has an interesting cast that includes John Goodman, Vera Farmiga, Ashton Sanders and many more, and it’s a much slower cerebral affair than the typical alien invasion movie, one more dealing with an underground human rebellion wanting to take it to the aliens and their human government allies.

You can also read my interview with Wyatt over at The Beat.

Mini-Review: I was definitely intrigued by the premise for this sci-fi thriller since I’ve always found Rupert Wyatt to be a thoughtful and intelligent filmmaker, and this was something he conceived with his wife and co-writer Erica Beeney.

It starts with an alien invasion that’s shown in a rather quizzical way where we don’t exactly know what’s happening, but over the opening title credits, we get a lot of information about the alien incursion and how it affected the people of earth. The story is focused on Chicago nine years after the invasion with part of the city declared a Closed Area which the aliens have taken over as their own.

John Goodman plays a police detective who is trying to track down the mysterious “Phoenix” who is leading the rebellion against the aliens, while Ashton Sanders is a young man whose parents were killed by the alien invaders with his older brother missing. How these two will be brought together is part of what keeps the movie compelling, but Wyatt doesn’t go out of his way to make clear exactly what is happening or how the aliens affected those in the city. That’s stuff you learn as the film goes along, and it makes Captive State more of a challenging sci-fi films rather than the typical action movie in which the humans fight against CG aliens (ala Starship Troopers and Battle L.A.)

The casting is particularly interesting since it’s been a long time since we’ve seen John Goodman in anything close to a leading role, even though he used to do plenty of them in the ‘80s and ‘90s. (Who could forget Arachnophobia?) I also thought Ashton Sanders was much better in this than he was in Moonlight, where I thought his segment really suffered. It’s clear that he’s improved greatly as an actor, and he does decently as the film’s lynchpin to which audiences can relate. Personally, I love Vera Farmiga, and I wish there was more of her in the movie, but her role is one of the film’s bigger twists, so it makes sense that she doesn’t appear more.

It’s pretty obvious that (despite the way it’s being marketed) Captive State is not meant as science fiction film for the masses, but rather, one meant for dedicated sci-fi fans who read novels and want to be challenged intellectually. It may take a good hour before you can get into what Wyatt was trying to do, but he’s created a strong movie about revolting against oppression during a time when many are being oppressed on a daily basis, so in that regards, it’s fairly timely. Rating: 7/10

Lionsgate’s LatinX subsidiary Pantelion Films will release NO MANCHES FRIDA 2, the sequel to the 2016 comedy hit, which grossed about $11.5 million without ever being in more than 500 theaters. I never saw the original so I’ll probably never see this one, and we might as well just go straight to the…

LIMITED RELEASES

There are a few decent movies in select cities this weekend including Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre’s directorial debut THE MUSTANG (Focus Features), starring Matthias Schoenaerts as Roman, a convict in a Nevada prison with anger issues who tries to escape his violent past by joining the prison’s horse-training program. Led by Bruce Dern and bonding with a fellow inmate played by Jason Mitchell, Roman quickly takes to his horse and uses the bonding experience. This was a really wonderful movie, and it’s a shame that it didn’t come out last year with the other wonderful horse movies, Chloe Zhao’s The Rider and Lean on Pete, as it would have fit right in. But this also has the element of redemption and growth that I appreciate from modern-day prison movies, and this joins Shot Caller and O.G.as some of the better prison-related character dramas.  Exec. produced by Robert Redford, the movie will open in New York and L.A. this weekend and hopefully it will expand later. Good news! I just learned that Focus plans on expanding the movie nationwide (probably a couple hundred theaters) on March 29!

Another movie I quite enjoyed for reasons I’ll explain is the historical drama THE AFTERMATH (Fox Searchlight), directed by James Kent (Testament of Youth) and starring Jason Clarke and Keira Knightley as Col. Lewis and Rachel Morgan, a British officer and his wife who have moved into a luxurious mansion in Hamburg, Germany following WWII. The mansion is owned by a German widower, played by Alexander Skarsgard, who they allow to remain there with his daughter. As Lewis is pulled further and further into his work to uncover Nazi rebels, Rachel gets closer to the owner of the house. So yes, this is a fairly typical WWII drama similar to ohers Knigthley has done before, but I was particularly interested in it, since my father was born in Hamburg, and I had gone back there to see his childhood home, which had been rebuilt after being bombed in the British air raids. So I had this connection, but then I generally love Knightley and like Skarsgard anyway, and they were quite good in the film, which deals with the personal lives of these people while also dealing with the bigger story of the Germans and British trying to recover after a brutal war that left many dead. In other words, this is totally my kind of movie, and if it’s something that sounds interesting, it will open in select cities on Friday. 

My Interview with James Kent

Fresh off his “Saturday Night Live” debut, Idris Elba makes his directorial debut with YARDIE (Rialto Pictures), a movie set in ‘70s Kingston Jamaica and 19802 Hackney (a Jamaican community in London)that’s based on the novel by Victor Headley. It centers around the world of Jamaican narcotics syndicates and a courier named D (Aml Ameen from The Maze Runner) who wants revenge for his brother’s murder.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Chinese auteur Jia Zhang-Ke, but oddly, I really liked his new movie ASH IS PUREST WHITE (Cohen Media) when it played at the New York Film Festival last year. It’s more of a crime film ala the work of Johnny To looking at the jianghu gangs within a small mining town and the relationship between a mob boss and his wife, played by Lao Fin and Zhao Tao. It’s a really good film from China that’s especially memorable for the transformative performance by Zhao Tao as the film covers many decades in her life. The movie will open in New York, L.A. and San Francisco this weekend.

Opening at the Film Forum Wednesday is REZO, a wonderful Russian animated doc by Leo Gabriadze about his father, filmmaker and puppeteer Rezo Gabriadze, that’s exec. producer by Russia’ Michael Bay, Timur Bekmambetov. In the film, Rezo talks about his interesting life after WWII when the family takes in a German POW, much to the ire of his father, but the stories are told in entertaining ways with quirky animation to illustrate them, and I ended up enjoying this more than I thought I would. The film is being shown with the Russian animated short Tale of Tales by Yuri Norstein, which is definitely a strange one, having been made in 1979 but not really appearing on the film festival circuit until 2002, as Norstein was caught behind the Wall of Communism and unable to travel to receive the awards the film received.

An odd release by Warner Bros is the sort-of-sequel Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase, which normally would be straight to home entertainment but is actually getting a substantial theatrical release. Unlike the 2007 Nancy Drew, which starred a young(er) Emma Roberts in the title role, this one stars Sophia Lillis (Beverly from 2017’s Itmovie) and is directed by ‘80s and ‘90s genre filmmaker Katt Shea (Poison Ivy), so it should be an interesting bit of counter-programming for younger girls. Again, I have no idea how many theaters this will be in, as I’ve heard NADA about this from my Warner Bros. contacts, but hey, if you’re a fan of the character it’s another option.

I’m really interested in the Western Never Grow Old (Lionsgate/Saban Films), starring Emile Hirsch and John Cusack, mainly because I loved director Ivan Kavanagh’s earlier horror film The Canal. The film takes place in the frontier town of Garlow when a vicious Dutch outlaw (Cusack) arrives with his gang, and the local undertaker (Hirsch) has to decide whether to keep taking the blood money from burying their victims or do something about it. I expect this will get the usual Saban limited release but mainly be seen on VOD.

Hey, look! Alexander Skarsgard is in ANOTHER movie this weekend! The Hummingbird Project (The Orchard) from Canadian director Kim Nguyen (War Witch) stars Skarsgard and Jesse Eisenberg as New York cousins playing the high-stakes game of High-Frequency Trading who want to build a fire optic line between Kansas and New Jersey. It also stars Salma Hayek as their old boss who wants to stop the duo from making millions. Again, select cities and VOD.

Daredevil and Ghost Rider director Mark Steven Johnson returns with Finding Steve McQueen (not to be confused with the recent digital release Chasing Bullitt), starring Travis Fimmel, Rachael Taylor, William Fichtner, Lily Rabe and Forest Whitaker. It’s about a gang of thieves looking to steal $30 million in illegal campaign contributions to President Richard Nixon who become the subjects of an FBI manhunt. It opens in select theaters as well as On Demand.

Netflix is giving The Blind Side director John Lee Hancock’s Highwaymen, starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as the Texas Rangers who brought down Bonnie and Clyde, a release into select theaters on Friday before its streaming debut on March 29. Like last week’s Triple Frontier, I haven’t seen the movie yet, though I hope to see it before its streaming release. We’ll see if that happens.

Marc Cousins’ doc The Eyes of Orson Welles will open at the IFC Center on Friday, as Cousins was given unprecedented access to some of Welles’ sketches, paintings and drawings to help learn more about the enigmatic filmmaker’s inner life.

Opening at the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklynthis Friday and at the Landmark Nuartin L.A. on Friday 22 is Yann Gonzalez’s trashy sexploitation movie Knife + Heart, which premiered at Fantastic Fest last September. The former Mrs. Johnny Depp Vanessa Paradis plays Ann, a woman whose relationship with her editor (Kate Moran) is over just as someone is going around killing the actors in her low-budget gay porn production company. So she puts the murders into her new film “Homo-cide.”

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This Friday, the Metrograph will open a restoration of the late Nietzchka Keene’s 1990 directorial debut The Juniper Tree (Arbelos Films), starring pop superstar Bjork while she was 21 and still a part of the Icelandic group The Sugarcubes. She plays a young woman on the run with her sister from persecutors who killed their mother as a witch. This week’s Late Nites at Metrographoffering is Catherine Breillat’s 2001 film Fat Girl, a fantastic drama worth seeing. Playtime: Family Matineesis going with Ishiro Honda’s 1954 monster movie classic… go-go-Godzilla! That will play on Saturday and Sunday at 11AM, and I will definitely be at one of those shows. (I guess the Metrograph are also showing The Last Unicornone more time since it did so well last weekend.

THE NEW BEVERLY  (L.A.):

Tarantino’s repertory theater has another amazing and varied week beginning with Joan Crawford’sMildred Pierce  (1945) on Wednesday, then double features of Cliff Robertson’s  J.W. Coop (1971) and Patrick Murphy’s 1972 thriller Riding Tall on Weds. and Thursday, Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (1975) and Carl Reiner’s 1982 comedy Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, starring Steve Martin, on Friday and Saturday, and then Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959) and John Wayne’s The Quiet Man  (1952) on Sunday and Monday. This weekend’s midnight offerings are Tarantino’s own Kill Bill Vol. 1  (2004) on Friday night and the 1976 comedyTunnel Vision, starring Chevy Chase, John Candy, Larraine Newman and more on Saturday night. The weekend’s Kiddee Matinee is George Miller’s 1982 filmThe Man from Snowy River, starring Kirk Douglas, while the 1999 survival thriller Ravenous will screen on Monday. Tuesday night’s Grindhouse double feature is The Slumber Party Massacre  (1982) and Sorority House Massacre  (1986).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Bob & Wray: A Hollywood Love Story starts this Friday and running through April 2, looking at the films of married couple, screenwriter Rob Riskin and actor Fay Wray. It kicks off Friday with a double feature of Frank Capra’s 1934 film It Happened One Night, written by Riskin, and It Happened in Hollywood starring Wray. Friday will be a screening of The Wedding March (1928) introduced by Victoria Riskin (with live piano accompaniment). Saturday sees a double feature of King Kong with It Happened One Night, and then Sunday and Monday sees a double feature of Frank Capra’s Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936) and Platinum Blonde (1931), which I might go see. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is Frank Capra’s 1937 film Lost Horizon, which was also adapted by Riskin. (In theory, one could do a Frank Capra TRIPLE feature on Sunday.)

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

The American Cinematique’s rep theater is screening Norman Jewison’s Oscar-winning 1967 film In the Heat of the Night, starring Sidney Poitier, as part of the Greg Proops Film Club Podcast. The theater is also kicking off an Alex Cox retrospective (with Cox in person) including double features of Highway Patrolman (1991) and Walker  (1987) on Friday, and my personal favorite Repo Man  (1984) with Cox’s new film Tombstone Rashomon on Saturday. On Sunday, the theater will present the St. Patrick Swayze Day double featureRoad House  (1989) and Point Break (1991).

AERO  (LA):

Meanwhile, at the American Cinematique’s other theater, they’re doing a series of 3-D Favorites, including Hitchcock’s Dial M for Murder  (1954) and The Glass Web (1953) on Thursday, Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), starring the late Julie Adams (with her son introducing the film) on Saturday. Also, Jean-Luc Godard’s 2014 film Goodbye to Languagewill screen Saturday, and then Sunday will be a special presentation of Walt Disney Animation Studios: Immersive Storytelling through 3-D Cinematography. Wrapping up the Hitchcock, Truffaut and Jones series with Kent Jones’s doc Hitchcock/Truffaut (see? I was right!!!) and Hitchcock’s 1942 movie Saboteur.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

The Quad is finishing up its Amour or Less: A Blier Buffet series in time for the new restoration of Blier’s 1978 film Get Out Your Handkerchiefs (Cohen Film), as well as showing Blier’s 1983 rom-com My Best Friend’s Girl on Thursday and Friday nights.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This weekends offerings are: Waverly Midnights: The Feds  presents Mike Newell’s 1997 crime-comedy Donnie Brasco, starring Al Pacino and Johnny Depp. Weekend Classics: Early Godard takes another weekend off but the weekend’s Late Night Favorites is Bruce Willis’ Die Hard, as well as David Lynch’s Eraserhead and once again... Ridley Scott’s Alien.

MOMA (NYC):

This week’s Modern Matinees: B is for Bacallofferings are 1948’s Key Largoon Weds, Young Man with a Horn (1950) on Thursday and Sidney Lumet’s 1974 Murder on the Orient Expresson Friday. (I might actually go see the latter, so if you go, come over and say “Hi!”) William Fox Presents More Restorations and Rediscoveries from the Fox Film Corporation continues with John Ford’s 1926 movie 3 Bad Men and 1931’s Quick MIllions on Wednesday, While New York Sleeps (1920) and John Ford’s Riley the Cop (1928) on Thursday and much more running through the weekend.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Saturday, MOMI is showing Creature of the Black Lagoon with a post-screening conversation with Mallory O’Meara who wrote The Lady from the Black Lagoonand my pal Grady Hendrix. Saturday also begins a Tribute to Bruno Ganz, the late Swiss actor with screenings of Wim Wenders’ The American Friend  (1977) on Saturday and Sunday, as well as Wnders’ Wings of Desire(1987) on Sunday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This Friday’s midnight offering is Sam Raimi’s 1987 horror classic Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, starring Bruce Campbell.

STREAMING AND CABLE

I still haven’t seen J.C. Chandor’s TRIPLE FRONTIER (thanks a lot, Netflix!), but the heist thriller, written by Oscar winner Mark Boal (The Hurt Locker), stars Ben Affleck, Oscar Isaac, Garrett Hedlund and Charlie Hunnam as a group of special ops soldiers planning a heist, and it’s already on the streaming network. I’ve actually seen TV commercials for it, but it looks like I’ll have to watch this on my tiny television rather than in theater, which is a bummer since it looks like a good big screen movie. (Maybe Spielberg is right?) This Friday, the streaming network will also be debuting the fifth and final season of Arrested Development … but does anyone even care anymore? Netflix will also premiere the first season of Turn Up Charlie starring Idris Elba (he’s just everywhere!) as a struggling DJ.

I haven’t had a chance to watch Alex Gibney’s The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley yet, but it will premiere on HBO on Monday, and on Sunday, Showtime will present the new season of Billions, another show that I haven’t watched yet, but they shot some stuff for the new season on my block!

Next week’s big new release is Jordan Peele’s horror film Us, starring Lupita Nyong’o, which will hope to continue the success the filmmaker had with 2017’s Get Out.

[radiantxhero-moved-blog]

either ignore this ask or answer all the questions you haven't gotten & want to answer

Under read more for length!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Generally the ones I previously stated. I guess I also don’t really get the Samus/Capt. Falcon/Snake triangle that came around in Brawl. As for FE, I mean, there are so many potential ships, I don’t know if I can really name any off the top of my head that I don’t get for one reason or another, aside from the ones I said already. Sothe/Micaiah is kinda in the same frame for me as Ike/Titania, though it isn’t quite as eh for me, but I still don’t get it in the sense that she meets him when he’s a child…

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Possibly? I have such a bad memory for things, but if I have, it’s still a pretty rare occurrence. Even if I don’t like someone’s views, if I enjoy the way they write or the other things they post about, I’ll just steer clear of the hings I don’t particularly care for. If I see things that bother me right off the bat, I just never follow in the first place.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

I wouldn’t say ruined, but the whole debacle between the Ike/Soren & Ike/Ranulf ships (or almost any ships involving Ike cause good lord people get bent out of shape sometimes) just really drive me up the wall. It makes it very hard to enjoy both on account of some of the shippers. Not all, but some for sure.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Yes! Believe it or not, I absolutely hated the Ike/Marth pairing that came about in Smash. But, I found the good content, and found an amazing partner to write with, and (clearly) my views have changed drastically.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

Technically, yes, but not really over anything fandom related. Someone was just a little upset over who I choose to write with, I think.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Okay, for FE, I’m gonna say a playable character & an enemy character(s). I really, really, really don’t care for standard Corrin – I’ve seen quite a few blogs where I love the characterization they give, but general game Corrin I just find…very irritating and border cringe-y in some places (the entirety of Birthright). I feel they did a better job in Revelations (since, you know, that was the actual game…), but I still think they did a much better job with Robin.

As for villain characters…Pretty much all of the senators in RD. Literally, they’re all gross, and are the epitome of human kind at its worst. Which is their point, of course, but I still hate their guts.

As for Smash, I just…don’t really care for Sonic. I find him arrogant to a point of irritation, and I rarely enjoy serious fights against him.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Any time I have to use the Dawn Brigade, I love most of the characters, but dear lord, they infuriate me with how bad they are at times. I don’t know if it’s just bad luck with some, or I put more faith in them than I should, but I’m usually disappointed with the Brigade at some point in a play through.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I’m pretty sure she’s unpopular – MEG!! She’s not only a sweet bean, but she’s actually good of you train her up! Plus, come on, how can I not enjoy a larger female character who doesn’t get objectified in the game in some way for her size, and she’s not only a farmer girl, but capable of fighting!! LOVE MEG!!!

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t think so??

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Probably that I don’t think Ike is gay. Most people seem to take that as fact, when it’s just…not. I literally have nothing against people who like to see him as gay, but please stat it as your opinion and not canon fact.

 14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

That we seem to go out of our way to tear each other down at some point over X/Y/Z topics. Though, I don’t know if this is exactly an unpopular opinion.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Boy, I wish I could even answer this…

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

That a show existed….

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

I honestly don’t think I would change any story lines, really, but I wish we had gotten something Subspace similar in Smash 4. If this falls into the same category.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

Nope! Not one bit! If you like a non-mainstream ship, you go on and like it! 

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Fff, good question? I have no clue, honestly, maybe Mist/Rolf???

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Dude, if it floats your boat, go for it. Let those freaky ships sail.

22. Popular character you hate?

Rosalina. Like, not really based on character, as I don’t know much about her aside from Smash. But, lord, I really dislike going up against her in For Glory.

23. Unpopular character you love?

I have no idea if he’s unpopular or not, but Lowen has always been my go-to mounted unit every time I play FE7.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Um, I think? Like, if you’re talking about the games, yes, I would. 

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

Yes, I would give a little more depth to Ike’s ending, to be honest. I like the open-endedness as far as how he’s been able to appear easily in other games, but...I would have liked something a little more, especially where him leaving the Mercenaries is involved.

26. Most shippable character?

FFf, I don’t know?? That’s sort of personal opinion...And, don’t we all generally sort of see our favorites or preferred characters as more shippable than others?

27. Least shippable character?

...Gharnef?

[apollos-favourite-bastard]

ANNUAL WRITING SELF-EVAL ‘16

Amanda @butterflytattoohaz tagged me in this, and she’d probably fly here and murder me if I ignore her, so-

1. List of works published this year:

Guiding Light, Living in Wonderland, Baby You Got Me Sick, Buzzing Underneath, Ain’t Nothin’ but a Hound Dog, and my parts of A Very Narry Christmas (I’m not listing them all because I’m too lazy to link that much)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Honestly, it’s probably ANbaHD. I went into that story with a very focused mission, which was to create a character who struggled with mental illness, but who didn’t just get better because they fell in love. I wanted to tell a story about the very real and painful way people struggle with mental health issues, and how, sometimes, it can be one step forward and ten steps back. I feel like I accomplished that with this one, unlike some of my other works.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

My parts of AVNC, because I don’t like writing drabbles, and I feel like a lot of them were lacking in any real substance.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Okay, so- I’ve given this answer, and it hasn’t changed.

“I’m supposed to protect you!” Ashton chokes out.

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I can protect my own damn self!” Luke groans. “I don’t need you to do it for me!”

“But-” Ashton starts.

“No.” Luke says firmly, kneeling onto the bed in front of Ashton and taking his face in his hands. “I don’t need it. I get it. Sometimes, I seem like a damsel in distress. I know I’m silly and flirty and I wear knickers and paint my nails and tuck my dick into my ass and I’m a girly-fucking-girl. I’m a princess, and I love that. But I also learned a long time ago how to be my own knight in shining armor. I don’t need you to protect me. I just need you to be my Prince Charming. I just need you to love me.”

Everything about this tiny little part of this exchange is so important to me, because I think it’s a lesson that a lot of people need to learn. Luke is a character who struggles with his own anxiety as much as Niall or Ashton does in this fic. He has a lot of shame that he’s internalized over the years, and it’s taken him a long time to get to the point where he’s okay with being all of himself. And Ashton is a big part of his recovery from what the world has done to him, but, in the end, it really boils down to him choosing to stand up for himself. Luke is strong, and he made himself strong by choosing not to be weak, but that also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still need someone who can handle him at his best and his worst. 

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Okay, so- It’s this one.

Jessica @missing-headache is- She’s the best of us. And I don’t just mean Narry writers (though she is that too) or anything so shallow as that. I mean humans. Jessica is just the purest soul on this planet. And the thing is, purity is a target. The world loves to try and make the pure, impure. It loves to try and darken the shine of those things that glow, because impurity cannot stand the sight of purity. The world has tried again and again to darken itself to bring Jessica to its level, but it can’t. Because, the most important thing about purity is that it can only be corrupted by itself.

Jessica is quite possibly the least confident person I’ve ever had the privilege to know. She can’t see her own worth, because the world can’t darken her, but it can darken the mirror through which she sees herself. The only thing Jessica has confidence in is her feelings, which- She feels everything with her whole heart. Everything she says, everything she thinks, is all so fucking tangible that it makes my heart clench. Every word she says to me, I take to heart, because I can’t not when it comes straight from hers.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

This whole year, honestly. Especially since summer. I lost inspiration to be a writer in July or so, and the only reason that I even finished ANbaHD is guilt. I didn’t want to leave it unfinished like so many other stories, because it held a special meaning.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Ashton in ANbaHD. Ashton wasn’t supposed to be a permanent fixture in ANbaHD, but I fell in love with him. He became this mirror for Niall’s character, but he was all himself at the same time. They were so similar, but so different, and the only reason either of them could really get better was because they knew that they’d each have the other if they stumbled. They may not be in love, but there’s so much love there that it puts most of the relationships to shame.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I feel like I didn’t really. If anything, I regressed a bit, towards the end.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’ve never been the kind of person who could set goals for that sort of thing. You can’t become something or someone just by wanting to be. I’m more the kind of person who’s just interested in seeing who I am, than wanting to be anything specific.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Kayla @narrymusings and Julia @lovehopetwistt are the only reasons I’ve made it this far. I would have quit earlier if it weren’t for them.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

I always share little bits of my soul with my characters. It’s the only way that I know how to write.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I’m going to piggyback off of Amanda, and say ‘If you love it, if you enjoy it, never stop.’

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Just need to finish GR and the DtRH epilogue, and then I’m retiring, so- No.

14. Tag three (or as many) writers whose answers you’d love to read:

@narrymusings and @missing-headache are the ones I’m going to tag, because idk who’s done this and who hasn’t, but I’m pretty sure neither of them have?