#pulpy drippy orange juice

[isdalinarhot]

I think that any Stormlight adaptation would have to greatly change how twok dalivani works because without being able to read Dalinar’s thoughts about how sexy Navani is it would just look like Navani sexually harassing Dalinar

[isdalinarhot]

Modern au dalivani middle aged pet is a little white dog with crust in his eyes named Cookie who is incredibly stupid and has every disease because Dalinar keeps feeding him table scraps

Modern au sadalinar middle aged pet is a calico cat with long fur named Princess who is mean to everybody except Sadeas, like literally a cat from a movie where the protagonists are talking mice, and she bites Dalinar every day

[isdalinarhot]

remember last year when sanderson said dalivani would have matching couples costumes as honor and cultivation. thats so fake and hes so wrong. they would NOT be honor and cultivation they would be navani as a mad scientist and dalinar as a frankenstein's monster

[isdalinarhot]

I don’t Dalivani but I’m not made of stone I can still go awwwww thinking about one of the two of them Ascending and the other of the two of them living a long happy life and when the other one finally is about to move on to the Beyond the ascended one is like it’s good to see you again Gemheart <3 and then they hug and or/kiss one last time

[isdalinarhot]

dalinar and navani both have undiagnosed neurodivergent parent swag and you can really see it in the way they are passionate about their fields of work but like. the way they both go about sharing special interests with each other is so extremely different. because like ok dalinar doesnt really give a shit about fabrials and navani doesnt really give a shit about battle strategy and weaponry but when navani is out there infodumping to dalinar she always throws in a couple of tidbits about how the projects shes working on could be applicable in combat or explains stuff while using an analogy linking it back to something dalinar would care about. because she wants dalinar to understand because she loves him and she wants to cross over her two big loves in life even though that is quite frankly impossible. meanwhile dalinar is like. well navani obviously doesn't care about war in the same way i care about war so im just not gonna talk to navani about war unless its like in the way where i need to vent to her about Feelingz while being a general. to be considerate.

[isdalinarhot]

I don’t like Dalivani or Dalinar dying or Navani dying but I think if they died in each others arms all that would cancel out and I’d get it tattooed on my ass

[isdalinarhot]

Part of me is like Dalinar and Navani raising Gavinor is just an excuse to have a post menopausal couple fulfill the whole “fall in love, get married, have kids” thing and that sucks ass but another part of me is like….. omg……. Dalinar is a grandpa…… and starts crying a little bit

[isdalinarhot]

What we know:

Navani is from a “backwater family”

Gavilar and Dalinar grew up in the middle of bum fuck nowhere as fourth dahn people

Dalinar knew Navani before Gavilar

Gavilar and Navani got married, like, the year they started unifying Alethkar

Hypothesis: Dalinar and Navani were childhood friends whose families both encouraged them to play together in hopes of them getting married the second they both became adults. The conditioning worked and by their late teens they had crushes on each other, but Dalinar was too busy Being a Violent Troubled Teen to go hey maybe I should try to initiate a relationship with her (and with his mom dead and his dad incapacitated, nobody was pushing him to do so). Dalinar introduces Navani to Gavilar just because they’ve been friends forever and her not knowing his brother is weird but Gavilar, who never paid attention to Navani as kids cuz when you’re 10 your 6 year old brother’s 6 year old friend is of no interest to you, is a Horny Motherfucker and immediately starts directly unambiguously flirting with her while also not killing any of his dueling partners. They hook up, Navani gets pregnant, they quickly get married, Navani’s parents go “well it’s in the same immediate family, good enough”, and the rest is history

[isdalinarhot]

“Dalivani can sext! Since Dalinar can read!” Dalinar would not be responsive to sexting unless you’re extremely blunt with it. And Navani’s previous sexting experience has been with, like, Ialai, who is very coy. so Navani’s sexting style is like so what are you wearing rn ;) when Dalinar needs her sexts to be like I Want You To Fuck Me So Hard I Can’t Ride A Horse Tomorrow. SAD! Well there’s other couples

[isdalinarhot]

I think if/when Dalinar dies in kowt Navani’s gonna die too because like. I dunno Navani went through so much with regards to having a shit first husband and finally getting with the second husband she’s been in love with forever so it feels really mean spirited for Brandon to be like haha whoops! You got like two years with him tops before he fucking died! Enjoy being a double widow loser!!!!!!!!!!‼︎

[isdalinarhot]

I THINK IN KOWT THEY SHOULD TAKE AWAY DALINARS CLOTHES AND HE RUNS AROUND KOWT NAKED!!!!!!!!!‼︎ this would improve things for 1. Me, seeing his bare naked ass cheeks and getting a will to live 2. Navani, getting so horny off Dalinar naked nude running around no clothes and NOT afraid to flaunt her old woman sexuality about it 3. Brandon Sanderson, who someday will maybe not be a Mormon? And may desire to say Fuck in his books well Dalinar dick balls out full frontal nudity is a great compromise between not saying Fuck and saying Fuck you understand????????⁇ 4. I DUNNO I JUST WANNA FUCK DALINAR PREGNANT OK????⁇ don’t listen to the haters who say he has gone through menopause I could produce a biblical miracle ok?⁇ ok. And I would worship his pregnant belly so hard no im NOT afraid to say it im TOO WASTED TO CARE. Sorry sober me :(

[isdalinarhot]

Well it took 2 hours than later to break with Sad enough to start drinking but it did happen. Whatever! Whatever

[isdalinarhot]

It’s 5:30 am. I am deathly ill with a horrible cold. I am losing my mind over Dalinar munching on armrest nuts in Thaylen City. And handing some to Navani.

[isdalinarhot]

outfit for when you are painting your grandson’s bedroom teal

[isdalinarhot]

Dalinar in twok with YA romance novel tropes for his midlife crisis courtship…… he has to Make A Choice between smart savvy sexy Navani or conniving bad boy Sadeas…… when really what’s good for him is he stays single forever and hires a scribe but yknow. Dalinar has to get some or the book won’t sell

[isdalinarhot]

But even that passage by Navani proves my point! In Dalinar’s Navani thirst paragraphs, he’s talking about how beautiful she is, how wonderful and magnificent. How could anyone not be attracted to her? But Navani’s Dalinar thirst paragraphs? Are about how much she loves his personality, loves who he is as a person. Which of course is sweet. Which of course is good for the basis of any serious relationship. But if i was dating someone long term? And they refused to say Luke you are very hot Luke I love your personality but i also love your body. Luke you being built the way you are is not a detriment to our relationship that I’m overlooking because you have such a good personality. But rather a draw, a thing i am very much attracted to. Well if they didn’t have all that i think I’d cut the relationship off. Maybe im too allosexual for this line of thinking to not be upsetting to me. But i dunno!!!!‼︎ even those who are attracted to Dalinar aren’t into him physically and that makes me deeply sad. Because I’ve been there! I’ve been there. And it fucking sucks. Yeah