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mystery-skulls-ghost · 3 years ago

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cracks knuckles

please welcome the Duskmarch dorm.

Founded on the determination and will of the Grand Marshal, Duskmarch is a... relatively obscure and bleak dorm. Its members are usually ones that keep to themselves and focus on their passion (which is mostly art in all its forms.) The only people they interact with are with each other and a few other people, but they're generally not sociable with the general public. They have some traditions, but the most prevalent ones are the events held every 22nd of each month, March 22nd being the most grandiose. Their purpose is celebrating the memories of its members past and present. And some other stuff, but we'll get to that eventually. Think a mix of Heartslabyul + Ignihyde. The current dorm leader is Emil A. Carcino while the vice dorm leader is Vice Abriss.

Dorm Location:

The general area is a monochromatic ghost town in the mountains that seems to be literally stuck in time, as in all surrounding fauna and wildlife are in suspended motion. The weather is always overcast. The only things that move are incorporeal ashes falling from the sky like snowflakes and a proper day and night cycle. At night, the sky clears up to show the stars above.

The dorm quarters are located in a mansion right in the center of town. The architecture seems to be similar to the one from the Ramshackle dorm. It's reserved for the dorm leader and the vice dorm leader. All other members reside in the other abandoned buildings. How do they get to choose which building? As a great man once said: "It's free real estate." As long as it's theirs, they can do whatever they want with them. For example: Xander's building is entirely covered with colorful spray paint art.

Members:

Emil A. Carcino

Twisted from: The Black Parade

Dorm: Duskmarch, Dorm Head

Year: 2nd

Birthday: October 23rd (Scorpio)

Pronouns: He/Him

Relationship Status: Taken by that edgelord below

Age: 17

Height: 176cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Birthplace: Rose Kingdom

Club: Board Game Club

Favorite Subject: History

Likes: Vice, skeletons, sounds with a good beat to them, celebrations

Dislikes: Killjoys (lol), clowns, babies

Flaws: Too easygoing, he's gonna let one minor thing slide and that escalates into some major problems

Favorite Food: Adobo

Disliked Food: Anything with cinnamon

Special Skill: Perfect pitch

The mysterious, dreamy, charismatic head of Duskmarch, Emil is a very lax kind of guy. He may not look it, but he's very passionate about the arts. Can't you tell by the parties the dorm holds every 22nd of each month? Aside from that, he doesn't seem to be fazed by anything, not even jumpscares or existential dread. Emil's the kind of guy to live in the now rather than dwelling on past regrets. He's wiser than he looks.

Unique Magic:

"Carry On"

Allows Emil to view a singular, specific memory of a target. The catch being:

He can only view them as a dream. He can't see them immediately, he needs to take a little nap.

You know how dreams are. Weird, vague, trippy, and all associated synonyms. They also take the form of musicals!

Emil's gonna have to interpret them by himself.

Relationships:

Vice - Dormmate. Boyfriend. He really is in deep, cutesy love with him. Could this not be just a high school first love thing?

Xander - Dormmate. Much needed lighting in this place! He admires Xander's feistiness. Fun to tease.

Azul - Clubmate. Always enjoys a round of Brabble with Azul. Their scores against each other are a perfect tie.

Idia - Clubmate. Appreciates Idia from afar. Every time Emil tries to get to know him, he's conveniently not there.

Riddle - Next door neighbors. Emil doesn't really know Riddle that much, but his mom does.

Tiny Tidbits:

Emil smells like a hint of vanilla.

His fondest memory is of a parade; so when he found out that Duskmarch held monthly parades, he was overjoyed.

He dyed his hair white to match the previous dorm leaders.

Emil's art is entirely in black and white. He says it's more "aesthetically pleasing" that way.

If he were sorted into a canon dorm, he'd be sorted in Heartslabyul.

Vice Abriss

Twisted from: Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Dorm: Duskmarch, Vice (haha) Dorm Head

Year: 2nd

Birthday: June 8th (Gemini)

Pronouns: He/Him

Relationship Status: Taken by that boy above

Age: 17

Height: 187cm

Dominant Hand: Left

Birthplace: Isle of Lamentation

Club: Film Studies

Favorite Subject: Poison Making

Likes: Emil, poetry, the color red (a specific shade being "Pitchfork Red")

Dislikes: Anyone getting TOO close to Emil, fish, Xander

Flaws: being a fucking dick

Favorite Food: Cinnamon rolls

Disliked Food: Big Bean Burritos

Special Skill: A very attentive eye for detail

The vice dorm head of Duskmarch. A heart attack in black hair dye. Vice is a very strict man. He's serious about everything he does. Does he even have any emotions besides quiet, seething anger? That all seems to go away when he's with Emil, so that's one thing. Although, please don't interrupt his alone time...

Unique Magic:

"Starless Eyes"

Makes Vice invisible. He can't do it for more than 3 minutes, because it'll take some serious damage on him, both physically and mentally. How, exactly? His clothes may disintegrate, his flesh might also disintegrate, he'll become slightly more unhinged, etc. etc.

Relationships:

Emil - Dorm head. Boyfriend. Truly, madly, deeply in love with Emil. Nothing comes in between Vice and him. Literally nothing. Because he'll destroy whatever gets in the way.

Xander - Dormmate. An annoyance. Vice barely tolerates Xander.

Vil - Clubmate. Surprisingly on good terms. Vice does double work, both behind the scenes and onscreen. Vil's picky perfectionism strives him to do more.

Tiny Tidbits:

Vice's art is very abstract. Abstract as in they look like a madman's scribbles on a wall as his sanity slowly deteriorates. They always have some splotch of red somewhere.

He would definitely kill a man if anything were to happen to Emil.

Has a fear of heights. This is why his worst subjects are everything that involves broom flying.

If he were sorted into a canon dorm, he'd be sorted into Pomefiore.

Xander Ammonitra

Twisted from: Danger Days/Party Poison

Dorm: Duskmarch

Year: 1st

Birthday: November 22nd (Scorpio)

Pronouns: He/Him

Relationship Status: Single

Age: 16

Height: 180cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Birthplace: Davane

Club: Track and Field Club

Favorite Subject: Practical Magic

Likes: Street art, parkour, cartoony shenanigans, monkeys

Dislikes: Authority, drab colors, sterilized entertainment

Flaws: Loud, obnoxious, dirty mouthed [BLEEP]

Favorite Food: Deep-dish meat pizza

Disliked Food: Canned Marshmallows

Special Skill: Really good hearing

An extremely loud kind of guy. How did a boy like Xander even get into the dark, monochromatic aesthetic of Duskmarch? He expresses himself with bold colors, graffiti, confetti, and anything colorful (both literally and verbally.) He doesn't take kindly to strict rules. Despite the rowdy personality, he's kind of a dork. As things should be.

Unique Magic:

"Make Some Noise"

Lets Xander turn random objects into (non-lethal) bombs of various effects. It's a lot lamer than it sounds.

Relationships:

Emil - Dorm head. Appreciates Emil's "anything goes" mentality. Xander does get huffy over his moments of teasing.

Vice - Dormmate. Shares the same feeling of antipathy towards Vice. Xander's willing to go through slapstick shenanigans just to fuck with him.

Deuce - Clubmate. Sometimes flings snarky negative quips towards Deuce. Not the very best of friends.

Jack - Clubmate. Legitimately thinks that Jack is cool. Xander doesn't really give his usual temperament towards him.

Jude - No relation. He's seen Jude around right before they were both enrolled into NRC. Xander sees him as an idol, him standing up to the city of bullshit that is Davane.

Tiny Tidbits:

Xander has a potted Mars flytrap among his mess of a room. Did he steal it from the campus? Maybe.

He WILL find a way to vandalize every seemingly impossible to reach places with a cartoon monkey. He gets bored sometimes.

His birthday happens to be on the 22nd of November! That means he's in charge of the parade of that month. Expect an extravagant eyeblinding event.

Xander is an appreciator of anything involving wheels. Mostly rollerskates. His cowboy boots may or may not be heelys.

If he were sorted into a canon dorm, he'd be sorted into Scarabia.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland fandorm #twst fandorm #fandorm #oc bullshit #any additions are always appreciated #sleepy time now zzz

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writebecauseyoucannotbreathe · 3 years ago

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Ultimate Ship Meme: Azulaang

Rate the Ship -

How long will they last? - Until I say so. I can see them being together after death as spirits.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ooooh boy. Azula struggles to understand friendship. I think she'd fall in love fast and hard but take the longest to realize. Aang wouldn't let himself get attached at first because Azula is unapologetic and one of the things I like about Azulaang is how it would push Aang to deals with the nitty gritty gray, not in a The Fire Nation was right all along way but in how even Kyoshi and Roku's conflict resolution let to disagreements. I think it would take Aang longer to fall in but once they reach a semblance of common ground he'd be well aware he's falling in love and would enjoy the ride.

How was their first kiss? - Let's see my fanfics. In Blue it was awkward. In Weightless it was sweet. In Smut it was horny and hate filled. In canon I think their first kiss would be very passionate and then they snap back to reality and Aang would evade while Azula denies so they wouldn't talk about it but they'd for sure be thinking about the kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Technically Azula. As soon as Aang hears about a Fire Nation wedding, either his friends or he learns about Ozai and Ursa's wedding, his mind would be set on a wedding. He wouldn't say anything but he'd squirrel away relevant wedding information like he'd hear a song and go "I want that instrument to play at my wedding." But Azula would have her life planned out by other people and there'd be a set date where Ozai now Zuko are supposed to comb through suitor requests (it was probably Ursa's role. If she's there she'd talk to Azula directly instead of Lo and Li. I don't think Lo and Li are high enough rank to determine the suitor but I think it would be customary/expected for their input to be asked). Azula would tell Aang something along the lines of "I should be wed." and he'd agree and then Azula will spend an abnormally long time wondering if he married her because he liked her or because it's his duty until she asks him while he's discussing potential baby room colors pre wedding.

Who is the best man/men? - Sokka and Toph. Azula was going to pick Momo but he made a better flower girl. Yes she did this to annoy Zuko (and because Toph didnt want to wear the bridesmaid outfit) it's okay though Fire Lord Zuko was the guest of honor.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Katara, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee. Mai pretends she hates the outfit but she's secretly pleased.

Who did the most planning? - Aang did the most thinking but Azula did the most planning.

Who stressed the most? - Externally Aang. Internally Azula.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

100% Azula's fault. Aang has no clue what Fire Nation weddings are supposed to be like.

Aang: Wow I can't believe all weddings in your Nation are this big.

Azula: They're not. It's because I'm Royalty and you're the Avatar.

Though I hc that Aang wants to get married in all the different Nations and Azula secretly wants to experience a small wedding so they get married 3 more times with one of them being a very small Air Nation wedding.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Hmmm I'm not sure. On one hand, Ozai redemption. On the other hand, Ozai death.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Aang. Azula thinks she wants to be on top but she'd rather be pampered and Aang is more comfortable communicating and attending to needs. Aang has no strong preference either way and they do switch but this is their usual dynamic.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Azula but she denies it.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

I think it's up to the reader's preference but I can see them being very private (Azula) and naturally talented (Aang) to the point where they assume every couple has sex daily. Hc that Aang and Suki talk about sex freely (ex: When I do __ should I __ or do girls prefer ___? I can never tell with Azula. Why do guys do ___ after ____ ? I've tried asking Sokka but he doesn't give me a straight answer.) Much to the fear of Sokka and Azula.

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

Again up to the reader. They both like learning new things and are prodigies so I think they'd end up reading about things to try in bed (Azula) and would try things out to see what they like (Aang) until they learn what they and each other generally like/dislike.

How long do they normally last? -

Does the Avatar State remove your refractory period? >;3c

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No. Aang likes overstimulating.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

Neither can dirty talk. Azula is rougher. Aang likes to take it slow. She sets the pace in the beginning but he decides when it ends.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Azula refuses to cuddle in public but in return they cuddle all night.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - hc them having twin boys at first with one firebender and one airbender because poetry. But Azula really wants a girl so they have a third child she is an airbender with Aang's charm and knack for getting in trouble and Azula's ruthlessness. Amon kidnaps her and instead of easily escaping (Aang's genes) she instead viciously mocks him the way only a preteen can (Azula's genes.) It's traumatic enough for Amon even before the parents show up. Then Aang wants another one and Azula wants another firebender so they do the do and surprise triplets! (maybe it has to do with ejaculatimg in the Avatar State lol) So 6 in total and lets say its 3 boys 3 girls with 3 airbenders 3 firebenders.

How many children will they adopt? - None. Azula is wary of motherhood and I know people like to hc Aang as adopting and while I can see him acting as a father figure to several kids I think he'd greatly prefer biological kids especially airbenders. It's a flaw that was barely touched upon and def not handled well in Legend of Korra.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Servants or Aang. After a kid or two Azula would be comfortable enough to change the diapers but it would still be mostly Aang.

Who is the stricter parent? - Depends on the kid. Aang is more lenient with airbenders and Azula with firebenders or girls. I can see Azula being strict with training & studies but not with sharing whereas Aang would have less rules but they'd be more heavily enforced (ex: no airgliding without supervision until you've mastered the safety course)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Azula. She's pretty lenient with the term dangerous esp. when it comes to firebending as long as basic safety measures are applied (ex: you can pracrice lightning as long as it's not pointed towards yourself aka dont be Zuzu) but Aang is of the mindset "How are you gonna learn airbending without dangerous stunts?" And after the first few incidents she started stepping in.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Azula but Aang cooks them.

Who is the more loved parent? - Appa

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Azula. When Aang attends the teachers shower him and his kids with compliments ("You're doing so well teaching your kids the values of the Air Nomads. It must be so hard being The Last Airbender"). They do the same with Azula but unlike Aang she sees through it and manages to get an accurate assessment of how their kids are doing.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Aang was more happy than sad. Azula cried before and after.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aang. He is a notorious lawbreaker. Azula would bail the kids and she could do so quicker than Aang in a few cases because of her connections but she'd be mad so their kids would rather call Aang or break themselves out.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Tied. Aang at first but then Azula wants to learn and after Aang teaches her since she has less experience she finds more enjoyment in cooking.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -

Technically Aang since he's a vegetarian. Azula hasn't tried as many foods and she's used to not making a fuss at the family dinner table to the point of which Aang notices.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both. Aang has a better eye for vegetables/fruits and Azula is better with prices (it's not about the cost it's about the value).

How often do they bake desserts? - Aang bakes them when he can/weekly. They're fruit based so if Azula doesn't want dessert he gives it to Momo or flings it at a target.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Gee I wonder. Aang eats salad Azula eats meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang but Azula tends to figures it out. Azula is more likely to plan a dinner but she wouldn't make it a surprise.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Aang but Azula is a close second. It would be a tie if it wasn't for the bathhouse.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Accidentally? Aang. On purpose? Azula.

Who cleans the room? - Servants or Aang.

Chores:

Who is really against chores? - Azula hates cleaning up but she's neater.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Aang.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Aang.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Azula.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aang.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Azula. In the Fire Nation Palace Aang has taken to chatting with Azula in the Royal Spa while he feeds her (and mostly himself) cherries.

Misc:

Who takes the dog Appa out for a walk? - Aang

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never. Once they like the room they like the room. If its an event they'll go to a different location for it or leave the Air Temple as is.

What are their goals for the relationship? -

To stay together.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -

Aang slept for a hundred years so I'll give it to him.

Who plays the most pranks? - Tie. They've both pulled elaborate pranks as kids.

#azulaang #atla #avatar the last airbender #aang x azula #ship meme #long

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esinclvir · 3 years ago

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˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀ MADELYN CLINE . CIS WOMAN . SHE/HER ⧽ ⠀ have you seen the 786 latest post ? sources say they have some serious dirt on the child of a big time MOVIE PRODUCER/DIRECTOR AND SUPERMODEL . they haven’t revealed who it was yet but my best is on ELEANOR SINCLAIR ! ever since that last update about how she WAS HAVING HER DRUG DEALER SNEAK DRUGS INTO HER REBHAB FACILITY i don’t put anything pass them . i mean , these celebrity kids are just out of control . they do whatever they want , whenever they want and are ungrateful in the process !! i mean take ELLE for example , they’re a TWENTY-THREE year old SINGER AND REALITY TV PERSONALITY , and what did they do to get there ? have famous parents ! like hello , just because you WERE NOMINATED FOR SIX GRAMMYS AND WON FOUR FROM ONE ALBUM doesn’t mean you actually deserved it . i’m glad the 786 is taking them down a notch . it’s about time someone does . ❪ shan . 22 . est . she/her . billie eilish . ❫

hello , besties ! i’m shan , how’re yall livin ? i know i’m pretty late with getting this out , but whew i’ve had the craziest schedule the last few days ! either way i couldn’t be more excited to get to know all of yall + your characters ! i have a google doc linked below ( it also has some wanted connections at the botom of the doc ) but i figured i’d also put some bullets below , you know , a little tldr; moment going on ? anywho , i have the next two days off so expect me to be around :) with that said if you’d like to plot give this a like or just shoot me a message on discord ( killatrav#5428 )

★ 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐂 . ★ 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 . ★

born in frankfurt , germany to a big time movie producer/director + supermodel ( think steven spielberg + gisele bündchen )

being the youngest + only daughter in the family set elle up to be rather spoiled by her parents, something that immediately put a wedge between her + her brother .

miami became her official home when she was two once her father finished up production on a movie set in germany .

her childhood was pretty normal , well as normal as a spoiled rich kids life could be. the only true normalcy she had was not having cameras shoved in her face , she was afforded genuine privacy which is not something every celebrity child can say .

school was a serious matter in the sinclair household , so it was good that elle took to learning + behaving in class well . always top of her class + raved about by her peers + teachers alike .

at fifteen her parents separated for a few months , her dad + brother moving to los angeles while herself + her mom stayed in miami . elle did not take well to living in a broken home .

a month in her mom went on a work trip to italy , leaving her fifteen year old [brokenhearted] daughter in a empty mansion alone . it was the perfect recipe to send elle down the wrong path . she started partying + neglecting school .

first she turned to excessive drinking then when the drinking didn’t do much to numb the pain she turned to drugs , pretty much anything she could get her hands on ( although she had a preference toward cocaine + xanax ) .

once her mom returned home it didn’t take long before elle’s dirty little secret was aired out . a mother should never find their child overdosed , but that’s exactly what happened .

the golden child veil was now shed + with the realization that their daughter was falling apart her father moved back home to miami .

the family may have been back together but what they didn’t realize was elle would never be the same .

the joyful little girl who could do no wrong was replaced with a sad girl haunted by her own addiction for years to come . she was rather good at putting on a good face though + playing up the jovial rich girl role she’d known for so long .

her singing career began when she was just sixteen ( against her parents wishes , knowing their daughters struggles , the last thing they wanted was for her to be in any sort of hollywood industry ) . her first album took off + her career has been on an incline ever since ( she has billie eilish as a career claim - i’ll have a detailed career timeline posted soon ) .

at eighteen she took her public career to the next level when she agreed to do a reality television show ( ex. keeping up with the kardashians vibes ) , the show still films today + has been one of the more popular shows on tv + netflix .

she is someone who enjoys being famous although many would say it is to her detriment as her addiction has only gotten worse as she’s grown older + more famous .

she has had three stints in rehab that are known to the public, although, she’s actually been to rehab a total of four times in her life .

she was released from her latest stint on september eighth of this year ( yes, she’s only been out + about for a week now )

she lives in key biscayne with her two dogs benji ( a black lab ) + molly ( a tan pembroke corgi ) .

hobby wise she loves partying , brunch , poetry ( really just writing in general ) , surfing , shopping + cooking/baking .

some of her favorite tv shows are queen of the south , mind hunter , american horror story , big mouth + 60 days in .

personality wise ? she is kind , fun-loving , smart + extremely rational but also have a sarcastic streak + has never been the best when it comes to emotions , honestly she comes off rather cold + distant when it comes to both her emotions as well as others . she’s not very good at sympathizing with others despite her being such a friendly person .

as of now that’s all i got , aside from what’s in her bio ( which is really just all this info more in depth ) !

#786intro #helloooooo cuties ! elle's intro is here 2 years later lol #just realized the google doc wasn't public at first but now it is lol

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lunasilvermorny · 4 years ago

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Festival Fun SQ - Part 3 - where I complained about Merula’s eyebrows for way too long...

Oh god, why does it sound so disgusting coming from him?

Wait a minute, how many drinks have you had already, Tonks?

Doesn’t Butterbeer contain alcohol? I mean, not a lot, but still some...

I knew it!

Mate, even if it’s slightly alcoholic, when you drink so much of it, you can still get a buzz...

So that’s why Tonks is always so cheery, she’s wasted.

Now we know why Luna is so excited.

Tonks: Cheers!

Luna: Cheers, mate.

Penny, can you just approach your friend instead of staring at her like a creep?

I meant walk like a normal person, don’t bolt straight at her.

Relax, girl. You look like you’re about to tackle her.

And she’s not into it... (unless it’s by Rath.)

Also, is that Talbott in the background where she just came from?

Even he’s like - wtf is she doing?

Wait a minute, there’s random girl sitting next to Talbott... So weird seeing him hang out with people like he’s not an extreme example of a loner.

Socially adapted Talbott is not real, he can’t hurt you.

Socially adapted Talbott :

Wait, is he smiling? In public?

Spooky.

Luna: getting my vo-

Penny: Getting your vote!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Welp, that’s MC’s narrative too, I guess.

Well played, JC.

What do you mean “joining forces”?

She just wants to vote for her.

Why are you so damn paranoid all the time? It’s exhausting.

No, sorry, I can’t focus on their conversation...

I can’t believe it’s still an issue after all this time - JC, just fix her goddamn eyebrows already!

It looks like two worms that are a part of square dancing, or two worms that got partially squashed simultaneously by the same boot.

Not to mention that her hair looks awful. How do you make a character look like she hasn’t showered in two weeks? That’s almost a talent.

See? And now her eyebrows look really nice and normal.

Where is the consistency? The thickness isn’t supposed to change so drastically by her expression alone.

Her eyebrows should stay like this even when she frowns.

Is it just me? Am I the only one that finds this super annoying?

Okay, okay, I got carried away a bit, I admit it. But it’s so... damn...!

Never mind, let’s just move on.

Wait, another letter?

Oh no, are they all going to give her letters now?

...

Goddammit, JC.

Even MC looks so done, already.

98% of people that write poetry.

Okay, I gotta ask- is that really a thing in some places?

Because, they’re 15, right? When I was in high school, sure, some people were shy and kept their crushes to themselves, but we never really had “secret admirers”.

Is that a thing? Sounds really juvenile. Maybe something that would happen in elementary school or something, and even then, in like grade 1 or 2.

Oh god, no. Please, no...

This SQ is already way too boring, we don’t need Zonko here too.

Wait. really?

Tulip must be heartbroken.

Tonks: I think I’m over the whole prank thing-

Tulip:

You really did my girl dirty, JC.

Is that where we’re meeting Chiara in this SQ? the Zonko’s shop?

She deserves better than this,

Out in public?

Impossible!

Chiara: The cops will never find me here.

Luna: What?

Chiara: What?

Stop, JC. Stop!

Unless you ship your character with her, it’s just awkward. Can you stop making every romantic-option in this game droll over MC?

What is the point in giving us the option to choose if you shove all of them down our throats?

8 hours?

Damn... poor Chiara, she didn’t know what she’s getting herself into.

Then maybe stop saying it out loud where everyone can hear you?

Legend!

Okay, don’t get carried away, mate.

Still one of my favorite expressions, because it’s just a mood in general when playing this game.

That’s how I feel 98% of the time I play this game. Just... Why are we still here? Just to suffer...?

Fine, whatever, he’s been making her outfits for free for the longest time...

Just roll with it.

You know who else had a blast in the ball?

Everyone that played this SQ! Because it was definitely better than these recent ones.

Sigh...

What happened, JC? It’s been all downhill from there.

No.

It was mostly thanks to Andre that did all the work and a very small percentage of it was thanks to MC.

Luna: I have a problem. The game glitched and now I have a coin and a star on both sides of my face.

Andre: That’s rough, buddy. Wait, what game-?

If you were wondering what’s the definition of “boo-fucking-hoo”, these lines are.

Thank you!

I’m glad someone said it...

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #festival fun sq #hphm year 5 #hphm mc #luna silver #andre egwu #chiara lobosca #nymphadora tonks #merula snyde #penny haywood

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

Text

Five Fics Friday: April 10/20

SPECIAL EASTER WEEKEND EDITION: FIFTY FICS FRIDAY

Hey, everyone!!

Well, I asked on my Twitter and here if y’all wanted to see a special edition 5FF for the Long Weekend since we’re all stuck inside (and some of you stuck with family I’m sure you’d like to avoid or are just tired of seeing), and it was a unanimous YES, because who doesn’t love to curl up all weekend with a good book or fanfic??

So here we are: Fifty fics either pulled out of my ass, recently read, recently bookmarked, or recently Marked for Later! Each section has a count so you know how many are in that section (and it’s for myself when I go to double check the count, LOL). I hope you guys enjoy these!! <3 Love you all, and happy reading :)

As always, read-more will appear on the third reblog. Sorry mobile, please don’t hate me :(

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@johnlockficclub APRIL NOMINATIONS (5)

A Beginner's Guide to Apiology. by VictoryCandescence (M, 10,952 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement AU || Friendship, Love, Bees & Beekeeping, Old Age, Dreamy Sexytimes, Angst, Soulmates, Grumpy Sherlock, Magical Realism) – John and Sherlock meet for the first time as old men in Sussex. (to read)

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds (“WINNER” fic)

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock's five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Crimson Hymns by brilliantlyburning (E, 48,982 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S3/TAB, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction, Unhealthy Coping Methods, Demisexual Sherlock, Boxing, Pining, Sensory Processing Issues, Drug Use, First Kiss / Time, BDSM, Mary is Not Good, Parentlock, Proposal, Happy Ending, Beekeeping, Violence, References to Addiction, Poetry) – He laid his head over John’s heart, eyes level with his silver-rough scar, and listened to the crimson hymns beating beneath the surface. He imagined flowers blooming in his own chest: veins weaving intricate patterns on petals of thin muscle engorged with blood, sinew for stems and tendons for roots—the flowers would be poppies, maybe (addictive) or foxglove (deadly yet useful)—twining gleaming blood-red around the porcelain bone of his ribs. In his mind’s eye the gruesome bouquet all tied together on the left side of his chest, the stems bound together in heartstrings and the flowers fed by the rhythmic contraction of ventricles. It’s yours, he imagined saying to John—from the vena cava to the mitral valve to the arteries it is yours.— Or, the Love Song of W. Sherlock S. Holmes. (to read)

RECENT RE-READS (5)

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – ...And one time he didn't. asexual!Sherlock/John.

Linger by orphan_account (E, 4,879 w., 1 Ch. || Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Switchlock, Sherlock in Lingerie, Come Play, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Anal/Oral, Implied Shower Sex, Neck Kissing) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour, Three Garridebs) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

NEW MFL’s THIS WEEK (11)

Guardian and Assistant by I_Have_No_Clue (M, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Blow Jobs, PWP, Alpha Sherlock/Omega John, Mentions of Heat) – In this A/O world, ever Alpha, Beta, and Omega have a Type to them that describes the traits they have. John tries to figure out Sherlock's. Part 1 of the Types series

Bonneville Black by HollyShadow88 (E, 3,362 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Motorcycles, Motorcycle Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex) – John discovers that Sherlock has a motorbike. He also discovers that he finds Sherlock on a motorbike to be unreasonably attractive.

Code 221b by whitchry9 (T, 6,528 w., 11 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant, Medical, Paramedics, Hurt/Comfort, Outsider POV) – Sherlock Holmes is well known to the paramedics of London. So when John Watson comes into the picture, it seems like a fantastic solution. Someone would take care of Sherlock and prevent all those problems. Of course, they didn't think about what would happen if John was hurt. (They really should have.) Part 1 of the The Patron Saint of Idiots series

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Sex Shop Quartet Series by testosterone_tea (E, 28,180+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || First Kiss/Time, POV John, Sex Toys, Sex Talk, Anal Play, Anal Beads, Anal Fingering, Awkward Sexual Situations, Rimming, Inexperienced Sherlock, Oral Sex, Developing Relationship, Love Confessions, PWP, Bondage, Handcuffs, Praise Kink, BDSM, Kink Negotiation, Edgeplay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Ice / Wax Play, Blindfolds, Emotional Love Making, Teabagging, Riding Crops, Impact Play, Intercrural Sex, Roleplay, Spanking, Collars) – Sherlock goes undercover at a sex shop but finds he has no idea what any of the toys are for. Cue John Watson, awkward sexual conversations and some unfortunate incidents involving too much plug and not enough lube. But all's well that ends well and Sherlock gets the best happy ending of all.

Roll Away Your Stone by foxxcub (E, 39,463 w., 1 Ch. || Downey Holmes || Boarding School AU) – Seventeen-year-old John Watson is set to finish his final year of school with a flourish, until the headmaster assigns John as a "tutor" to an arrogant, yet brilliant new student named Sherlock Holmes. Holmes is not about to be put in his place by this popular rugby football player with the too-blue eyes, and John isn't going to let this impulsive fifteen-year-old get away with anything. Neither expects to become friends, but a series of unexpected events and a possible murder mystery bring them closer together than either of them thought possible.

I Believe in Sherlock Holmes by Ranowa (T, 63,038 w., 10 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Hurt Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Homeless Network, Alcohol Abuse, No Mary, Bit-Not-Good/Angry John, Protective Mycroft, Angst with Happy Ending, Non-Linear Narrative, Major Character Injury, Recovery, Forgiveness, Sherlock’s a Mess) – John's been angry at Sherlock since the day he turned up wearing a fake mustache and a tuxedo. He's still angry, even as he moves back into 221B, and he never hesitates to let Sherlock know it.One day, Sherlock stops saying sorry, and walks out instead.One day, Sherlock wakes up handcuffed in the boot of a car, and John doesn't know, because John's been angry at him for so long he's forgotten that he's not the only one that's hurting.

I'm coming home, John. -SH Series by Ranowa (M, 67,247 w. across 3 works || Post-TRF, Angry John, Idiots in Love, No Mary, Drug Use/Substance Abuse, Emotional Rollercoaster, Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, PTSD Sherlock, Recovery, Sherlock’s Violin, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Asexual Sherlock) – In the two years after Sherlock throws himself off the roof of St. Bart's, crunches into the pavement below, and dies in John's arms, John starts texting.He doesn't know that his text messages are being read.

Roommates are for little people by alexxphoenix42 (E, 69,042 w., 14 Ch. || Teen/Unilock || Forced to Share a Bed, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Relationship, Sherlock is a Prick, Drinking, Inadvertent Drug Use, Family Wedding, Footballer John / Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Frottage, Slow Burn, Mild Dub Con, Cuddling While Sleeping, Slight Homophobia, Posh Boy, Dirty Dancing, Endearments, Nosy FAmily, Bathing Together, Mild Angst, UST/RST, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff) – John was looking forward to seeing his friends back at uni, but a new year brings new complications, not the least of which is a dorm room with only one bed, and a stroppy roommate with an utterly spectacular arse. God, John doesn't need the headache.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all's right with the world--right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock's time away wasn't the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that's bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it's not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade 'verse series

POSTED THIS YEAR [WiP’s & Full] (19)

A Bowl of Comfort (Store-Bought is Fine) by tepidspongebath (T, 763 w., 1 Ch. || Food, Comfort, Domesticity, Fluff) – “When did you last eat?” “What day is it?” “Oh, for god’s sake - you can’t keep skipping meals like this, Sherlock.” “It’s Lent.” “And since when do you care about Lent?” “Since you get chocolate eggs at Easter.” (to read)

End of the Curve by doctor_not_your_girlfriend (T, 833 w., 1 Ch. || COVID-19, One Shot, Medical Realism, Major Illness, Recovery, Optimism, Disability, Needles) – July, 2021. Mycroft has a special delivery for Sherlock. Inspired by Proving A Point by elldotsee, J_Baillier. (to read)

Love Is A Smoke by J_Baillier (T, 3,617 w., 4 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Pining, Romance, MCD) – It's spring in 2036. John and Sherlock are no longer together. Sherlock attempts to cope — or doesn't. (to read)

A Study in Beard by Loveismyrevolution (T, 3,810 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff and Humour, Experiments, Beards, Idiots in Love, Quarantine) – Sherlock has to face the consequences of using up all of their shaving foam. Which turns out to be more fun than expected. Boys being boys, nothing can go without a challenge. Although, being isolated presents a problem. How will they determine the winner? Part 2 of the Hairy Situations at 221B series (to read)

Isolated by CarmillaCarmine (G, 3,926, 3/4 Ch. || WiP || Quarantine From Virus, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Bi-Panic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Coming Out, Bathing/Washing, Bubble Bath, Kissing) – Due to an ongoing pandemic, John and Sherlock find themselves isolated at 221B. (to read)

Sherlock's Solution by PipMer (T, 4,125 w., 1 Ch, || Fluff, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Isolation/Quarantine, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss) – Sherlock and John are stuck in quarantine. Against all expectations, John is the one who goes stir-crazy first. Sherlock has a unique solution to the problem. (to read)

The Unexpected Threat by J_Baillier (T, 4,283 w., 1 Ch. || Military AU / Pacific Rim Fusion || Established Relationship, Medical Conditions, Coronaviruses, Doctor John, Bratty Sherlock, Romance, Science Fiction, Futuristic Medicine, Ghost Drifting AKA Telepathy, Medical Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Healing) – The kaiju are not the only threat to the security and well-being of the staff of PPDC's Chard's Rift base. It's the year 2050, and a coronavirus epidemic sweeping the planet has reached The Azores. Part 4 of the At The Edge of Our Hope (to read)

Quarantine by wendymarlowe (T, 6,444+ w., 20/? Ch. || WiP || COVID-19, Forced Isolation / Quarantine, John’s Blog, Humour) – John and Sherlock are stuck at 221B together due to coronavirus concerns. Sherlock slowly drives John barmy. (to read)

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) – When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

Attentions, Experiments, Oddnesses by hubblegleeflower (E, 6,383 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Experiments, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Kissing, First Time) – John is behaving oddly, and Sherlock hopes it means what he thinks it means, but he has several theories and could well be missing some of the facts. (to read)

Casualty by Silvergirl (E, 12,051 w., 4 Ch. || Canon Compliant Until T6T, Mary’s Dead, Trauma/Comfort, John’s a Good Friend, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss/Time, Sherlock Learns Teamwork, Parentlock) – Sherlock renders assistance at a hit-and-run and is left deeply shocked. When the accident turns into a case, John moves back in to 221b to help—and finds that Sherlock has way oversold his image as an emotionless thinking machine. (to read)

The Night Riviera from Paddington to Penzance and Back Again by Iwantthatcoat (M, 12,918 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Hurt/Comfort Emotional Hurt/Comfort, BAMF John, Devil's Foot Adaptation, Hallucinations, Oral Sex) – Mrs Hudson has decided her boys need a little vacation together (after the events of S4) away from London and has booked them an inordinately (per Sherlock) long train ride from Paddington Station to Penzance. (to read)

A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo. (to read)

Contrition by sussexbound (E, 18,556+ w., 5/? Ch. || WiP || Post-S4/TFP Didn’t Happen, Rosie Doesn’t Exist, T6T/TLD is Canon, Year After TLD, Light BDSM, Soft Dom Sherlock / Sub John, Punishment, Light Bondage, Light Masochism / No Sadism, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Tenderness, Aftercare, Forgiveness, Edging, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Mutual Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Frottage, Communication, Sexual Negotiation, Sexual Tension, Spanking, Head Injury, Anal Sex) – “You’ve been tense ever since we got back, itching for a fight, all your usual tells, but why…?” The truth strikes like lightning. “Oh… Oh! You’re not angry at me. Not this time. Well—maybe a little. But mostly, mostly you’re angry at yourself. Why? For falling behind? For not being there in time. For not taking Wilkes down fast enough?” Sherlock waves a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t really matter.” He lifts a finger to his swollen cheek and cut eyebrow. “You blame yourself for this. And you offered to fix it. But I wouldn’t let you, and… But that’s not what you really want, anyway, is it?” John looks stunned, a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming lorry, frozen, waiting for the lethal strike. “You don’t want me to let you help. At least not right away. No. What you want, what you really want is—punishment.” (to read)

Feeling Seen by jadztone (E, 30,177 w., 9 Ch. || Ballet!Sherlock / Rugby!John, Demisexuality, Virgin John, Experienced Sherlock, Toplock, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Background Molly/Irene & Greg/Sally) – Rugby player John is starting over at a new university, with the help of friends Molly and Bill. Few people know that John is demisexual, but ballet dancer Sherlock Holmes deduces right away that he has no interest in sex unless he’s fallen in love. John finds this strange genius intriguing and would like to get to know him, but Sherlock has a self-cultivated reputation for only wanting casual sex. John has reason to believe that’s not really true, but he’s not sure he wants to risk his twice-fractured heart to find out. (to read)

Sanguineous Serendipity by CarmillaCarmine (E, 34,783 w., 14 Ch. || Vampire AU || Alternate First Meeting, Turning a Character, Vampire Sherlock, Captain John, POV John, Feeding, Blood Drinking, Crossdressing Sherlock, Genderfluid Character, Sherlock in Heels, Transphobic Behaviour, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Soulmates, Romance, Happy Ending) – Vampire Sherlock meets a dying John in a field hospital in Afghanistan and gives him a whole new life. (to read)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Next Right: Welcome to Westbound Rest Area 818 by elwinglyre (E, 59,874+ w., 13/15 Ch. || WiP || American Unilock AU || Bunk Beds, Anonymous Sex, Homophobia, Closeted John, Roommates, Angst with Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Music, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt John, BAMF John) – Sherlock Holmes dreams of escape from his smothering family and space to breathe. Studying chemistry at the University of Michigan, he's almost far enough away to fill his lungs. Almost. While John Watson dreams of being a doctor, he also dreams of being with another man. John knows that with hard work and study, he can make the first a reality, but he's certain the second can never be. Until a secret encounter in the dark at Rest Area 818 changes everything. When Sherlock meets his new roommate, John Watson, he sees a man in the closet. Sherlock hides from no one. Except from his own family, a detective inspector who wants his evidence returned, and his secret encounter at Rest Area 818. Thank you to recently folded who lovingly beta’d chapters 1-5 and helped with an important plot point that deeply enriches this story. Also thank you to hotshoeagain for beta'ing the rest of the story.Setting late 1970s, Michigan, USA. POV third person alternates between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. (to read)

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

ANYTHING GOES – JOHNLOCK (5)

Talk by illwick (E, 6,364 w., 1 Ch. || Dirty Talk, John’s Giant Junk, PWP, Light BDSM, Size Kink, Oral / Anal, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Rel.) – Sherlock was never much for dirty talk... until an unexpected visit yields unexpected results. Part 20 of Unwind

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w., 2 Ch. || Case Fic, HLV/S3 Fix It Fic, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock's shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

The Homecoming Series by sussexbound (M, 51,744 w. across 12 stories, WIP || Domestics, PTSD, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Jealousy, Family Issues) – Sometimes home is all you need. After three years of horror, betrayals, and crushing loss, John and Sherlock find their way back home to one another, and together find new footing in a world that has changed forever.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

ANYTHING GOES – INEFFABLE HUSBANDS (5)

All Roads Lead To You by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel (T, 2,549 w., 2 Ch.|| Pining Crowley, Oblivious Aziraphale, Love Confessions, Feelings, Resolved Romantic Tension, Rescuing, Happy Ending, Snake Crowley, Magic Bracelets, POV Aziraphale) – It had taken Aziraphale quite some time to find the presence he had been looking for, but here he was, in the Reptile House of the London Zoo. As an angel, Aziraphale shouldn’t have been finding amusement in the discomfort of another, but he couldn’t help but do so as he was glared at by a very familiar snake. “Oh my dear,” Aziraphale murmured, “how ever did you end up in this situation?”

The slowest moving object in the universe by chamyl (G, 4,996 w., 1 Ch. || God POV, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Beach Day, Games, Light Humour, Tenderness, Embarassed Crowley, Soft Idiots, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Crowley and Aziraphale have had feelings for each other for a very long time. It takes a date at the lake and a round of 36 Questions That Lead To Love to give them the final push.

Wings and How to Hide Them by triedunture (M, 10,134 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, First Time, Love Confessions, Body Swap, Wing Kink, Idiots In Love) – Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends? Or: Aziraphale definitely fucks and isn't that just perfect?

Souls In Creation by Dragonfruit112 (NR [M], 23,110 w., 6 Ch. || Aziraphale was Raphael, Hurt/Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, True Angel Forms, Memory Loss/Amnesia, Seraph!Aziraphale, Cherub!Crowley, Moments of Time, Pining Aziraphale, Deaths, Disasters Through History, Whump, Taking Care of Each Other, Friendship, Mates to Friends to Mates, Bed Sharing, Sick Crowley, Healing Powers, BAMF Aziraphale) – They knew each other before the Fall. They loved each other before the Fall. They were creation's first soul mates. But the Fall changed everything, and now Aziraphale is forced to live in a world where only he remembers their shared past. Burdened by pain and grief, he hides himself under the guise of a clumsy Principality until he can make his love remember once more. Only, he doesn't know how long that'll take.

Any Way You Want It by LieutenantLiv (M, 27,585 w., 5 Ch. || Holidays, Slow Burn, Fluff, First Time, Eventual Smut, Swimming, Dreams of Dancing, Kissing in the Rain, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Crying Love Confessions, Soft Crowley, Clingy Crowley, Virgin Aziraphale, Romance) – Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.Who'd have thought that sharing a cottage in Scotland would be quite so romantic?

#johnlock fic recs #good omens fic recs #five fics friday #times ten lol #my fic recs #long post #e-rated fics #coronavirus #quarantine

99 notes · View notes

hikayat · 3 years ago

Note

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! for jae and jong!

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! // @clairdclunc

General:

How long will they last? Not subtly until death do them apart TT TT

How quickly did/will they fall in love? Past!Jae had fallen in love with Jonghoon as cliche as love at the first sight but modern!Jae actually fell in love with first glance too but freaking denial until he had his oh moment. So in conclusion, as quick as a second went by

How was their first kiss? Past!Jae: it is after he skipped evening poetry session just to go out of his way to declare his love for Jonghoon and so so eagerly smooches Jonghoon after declaration, needless to say the smooch was innocent and tender like his young age is--- Modern!Jae would share their first kiss softly, in Jonghoon's lab and affirming 'I choose you, you are more than good enough for me'

Wedding:

Who proposed? Jonghoon? Jaemin is too coward for his own good to get down on his knees (read: what if... Jonghoon says no? I know he won't but wHAT IF?!)

Who is the best man/men? Jaejin, the head of the department that he is close with and a childhood friend?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? .... I have no clue on this

Who did the most planning? Believe it or not, Jaemin doesn't mind they get married as spontaneously as asking a priest to bless them without planning because he doesn't like stress

Who stressed the most? Between them.... who?

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Bet their exes are not in the list.

Sex:

Who is on top? As much as Jaemin is a switch... he lets Jonghoon take the wheel?

Who is the one to instigate things? Just to rile up Jonghoon? Just to tease Jonghoon? Sign Modern!Jaemin up -- Past!Jae could never (he would self-destruct at his own attempt)

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? TBA? /SWEATS FACE/

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Yes and Modern!Jae would demand for it (because he can)

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Jaemin doesn't imagine himself having kids but if Jonghoon wants it? He could try

How many children will they adopt? Same as above; He still hasn't see the parenthood in him yet

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? He would take turns with Jonghoon

Who is the stricter parent? … He could never be. He pulls outs the rebellion card growing up so he might sympathize with his kids

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? If it gets too dangerous, it's him.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? ... Coming from someone he eats bread for lunch for Jonghoon walks into his life... Good luck Jonghoon.

Who is the more loved parent? Loved = Spoiling them probably Jaemin.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both of them

Who cried the most at graduation? Maybe... none of them?

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Jaemin without doubt.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Jaemin relies solely on Jonghoon, he once set his microwave on fire and had the firefighter came to his aid

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Not so... sure

Who does the grocery shopping? Could see them doing grocery shopping after-work

How often do they bake desserts? Tiramisu almost every other day Or whenever they just crave for it?

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Maybe mixture of both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Jaemin because Surprise is something he likes to do every now and ten

Who is more likely to suggest going out? The two of them; Equally because walking their dogs is good time spent together

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? Jaemin.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Jonghoon? Jaemin likes a little bit of mess.. sadly.

Who is really against chores? None of them is not against chores but for Jaemin he can start a gear late before getting into it.

Who cleans up after the pets? Equally divided!

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - None of them

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? HMMM if over-bearing guest I can see the two of them getting stressed

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Why do I see it is the two of them doing this.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Equal time for the two of them sometimes Jaemin can take a very short shower.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Two of them. With their Pomeranian and Shiba

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? If the holidays are their favourite then always!

What are their goals for the relationship? - Making every day count and there is no such thing as weak hearts and illness. Just the days that count until the last breath

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - On lazy day? Both of them!!

Who plays the most pranks? - Jaemin: deleted internet.... and sleeping Jonghoon as dekstop wallpapers

#clairdclunc #( answer: shin jaemin )#;;;; imho this is it;;;;

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pvtrichors · 4 years ago

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RUDY PANKOW , 22 , HE/HIM/HIS , CIS MAN | hey is that MONROE ST. THOMAS ? i think i’ve seen the 23 year old walking around THE CUT , so i guess that means they’re a POGUE ? apparently if the weather’s right, you can find them SNEAKING A JOINT INSTEAD OF A CIGARETTE BREAK , which makes sense since they’ve got the whole SCARS THAT WILL TELL STORIES IF YOU LET THEM, A SMILE THAT IS BROKEN BUT STILL BEAUTIFUL & A CANVAS SPLASHED IN THE SAME COLOR AS BRUISES thing about them . if people had background music , their song would definitely be CROWDED PLACES BY BANKS

monroe is very much the definition of what you expect to find when you come into the cut. that being said, there are different layers to him, some that are more hidden than the others. on one hand, he’s the boy who was a proud all star for the highschool football team, the all american version of what the dream is supposed to look like. on the other, he’s the same one who couldn’t afford to get himself to the away games, or the guy that can quote you poetry from memory, when he gets just high enough, each person usually gets a piece of him, a version, but never the full fledged experience, because he knows just what it is like to be “too much”, therapy has told him that, for better or for worse.

while plenty of people seem to think that his stint in rehab, something that he does not bother to hide from most of the general public, would have taught him not to drink or smoke, that is hardly the case. he instead learned that he can’t always use them as coping mechanisms, which means that he’s had to learn other avenues to get out the weight of his emotions, one of which happens to be art, you know, when he’s not busy crying in the privacy of the shower like the rest of us.

due to what happened in the car crash with his mother and sister, he has a plethora of scars sprinkled across his shoulders. while that doesn’t stop him from spending a good portion of time shirtless when the weather permits, the people that actually ask about them are usually met with avoidance, and sometimes even aggression. there are some things he will never really know how to talk about, no matter how long it’s been since he woke up in that hospital bed. speaking of scars, monroe is also painfully aware of the ones that came from his brothers experience coming out, and part of that, forces him to be very open about his own sexuality, or rather, blunt about the interest in people regardless of their genitals (and you can fight him about it, too, these hands are free ninety nine, always)

WC1: the exception to the rule, is the name of the game here. this is someone who despite monroe’s usual tendency to never really show his hand, sees through his bullshit, and actually knows him. however far that relationship goes, or will do, is definitely up to us and we can see where it leads, chemistry wise, but this is someone who is unbelievably special to him. he usually doesn’t admit it easily, or in the usual ways, and probably still tries to avoid them when they get a little too close, but usually ends up running right back in less than 24 hours. they even seem to have learned to understand that, or at least accept it, but feel free to torture him a little bit after he tries to run.

the middle children are the ones that are born with tragedy in their bones. They always said that Monroe absorbed all his sisters hurt in the womb, his very first act somehow becoming one of protection. To him, the statement now rang with bittersweet irony, but that’s the story’s tendency to get ahead of itself. In the beginning they were the perfect picture of the American dream, the one that was bought and sold, embraced with open arms. Sure, the floors in the old beach house were always dirty, and his father worked longer than he ever should have had to in order to keep their plates full, but they made it. Caroline started working again after the kids had all started school, breathing a sigh of relief with Kase finally passed that milestone birthday that would allowed her to begin taking the steps to contribute.

by then, his older brother had already begun taking on the family’s burdens, a nervous habit that had long since been coined as the family curse. He knew now that it was guilt that drove him to take that step, a strange since of misplaced shamed in the secret he was about to reveal to them all. The night that the words left his lips, they all remember it differently. It was a confessional that should have been met with love and support, but the scar that the two eldest boys were left with was one that had no chance at healing. The only part of the memory that seemed intent on sticking around was the sound of skin meeting skin in a vicious chorus, and the darkening bruises mixed with blood that formed as a direct result of the backhand that would eventually become the soundtrack to their demise.

that’s right, his brother came out to his family, and David’s first reaction was to take his feelings out on Smith physically, in front of the entire family. It didn’t matter if the bible had fanned the flames of his intolerance, or taught him some misplaced wrong rooted in sexuality, what did matter? Caroline wasn’t going to stand for it. Two weeks later, David left without a word, or a single cent, in his wake. The abandonment of his family seemed easy, and they never received the decency of an apology or even the watchful eye of shame. Nothing, not a single word, and his name became a welcomed taboo in the story, dad was the dirtiest curse word to ever leave any of their lips.

monroe didn’t talk about the nightmares that plagued him in the weeks after, but Smith always seemed to be awake right in time to shake him out of them. The silent agreement to keep secrets between siblings, a small bond that eventually cemented the lines of love between the two. It was no surprise to anyone that he followed in the footsteps of Smith, soon confessing his own struggles, but for him? There were welcome arms, acceptance was offered in free fall, because he needed it, and maybe it was that helped them all heal from the things that they still didn’t know how to speak of. What it didn’t do, was fill the gap that was created by their fathers (if you could even call him that) absence. Eventually, all five of them learned what it was like to be hungry, all the things that Caroline had desperately been trying to keep them away from. Some lessons weren’t meant to be learned, she’d say.

smith graduated high school the same year, a full ride scholarship he could never take, meaning that Monroe was the next to fall victim to the aforementioned curse that came with crushing weight on the shoulders of every member, but especially him. Life seemed to have a fucked up way of changing lanes, though. Caroline was running late, in the rain, to one of her many jobs. It was an unfortunate side effect of her newly minted single motherhood, after all. Dallas was in the car, to be dropped off at the baby sitter, but they would never make it there. The skidding sound of wet tires on warm asphalt, the high pitched screams of metal twisting metal, it all added another track added to the symphony of this tragedy.

you’re so lucky. It’s a miracle. The statements are repeated over and over, like a broken record, but they turn his stomach every time. A miracle, any God, would have either sent him away with his sister, the one he had been born trying to protect, and his mother, who would have died for him time and time again. The first time he told this to a therapist, the change in their expression announced what would be his first forced commitment, something that no one expected, and it tore all his buried scars wide open. Maybe that’s why they say rehab always feels like you’re bleeding out.

two months later, the only thing he was permitted out for was the funeral. His brothers came to visit three times a week, and often, they would cling to each other like the the last straws left in what felt like a burning building. After month three, he was released with false promises of therapy, with fake smiles that said he would take care of it, and the only reason he did seek out a way to cope was to honor the memory of his mother. he finally learned that he wasn’t an addict, but he needed to learn the secret of moderation. he needed to learn a lot of things, and now was going to be the start of that, including how to be a little more unapologetically himself.

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shsldepressedlesbian · 5 years ago

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Jesus Christ please tell me mORE about these characters I only know three things about them but I’m invested

hahhshahha im glad people wanna hear about them,, ok here we go, character info dump:

like i mentioned in a previous ask, the characters were created using sets of nine images, and thus they went through a certain degree of changes, though not all of them

if anyone wants to see me make the fic,, then i just might do it-

heres funfacts about the characters, cause as i noted before, i lovv them all very much:

Yuuki Mori, Ultimate Wedding Planner

Likes: bubblegum, streamers

Dislikes: wooly sweaters, dodgeball

D.O.B: October 12

Height: 5'1"

- the protag girl,,

- for the most part, a very friendly and hyperactive gurl

- always carries around bubblegum with her

- her interesting in wedding planning stems from her grandmothers encouragement, as well as having many relatives, and thus shes attended a lot of weddings in her life

- neat freak

- surprisingly athletic

- social!! but shes a little judgemental of people

- would never intentionally insult anyone outloud

- incredibly persistent

- also has a very sharp memory and eye due to her job as a wedding planner, which helps with investigating

- avoids conflict if she can

- not hard to convince

- trans and bi, like all dangan protags are suppose to be

- smells like bubblegum flavored cake and lavender

Emica Abiko, Ultimate Student Council

Likes: blank paper, lavender

Dislikes: deadlines in general, decaf

D.O.B: May 25

Height: 5'5"

- the mom friend

- tries to be as friendly as possible but shes this close to snapping

- is surviving on pure will and caffeine

- orderly

- has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership

- her dad is actually the principal of the school, which is the whole reason why shes student president in the first place. because of this, she doesnt really believe she deserves a spot in the school

- ambivert

- 'takahashi PLEASE put that down-'

- smells like vanilla coffee and stress

Arata Abe, Ultimate Historian

Likes: globes, sunshine

Dislikes: tiny dogs, flat earthers

D.O.B: June 14

Height: 5'7"

- a classy man

- very curious

- and nosey

- writes everything down in his trusty notebook, which helps with investigations

- doesnt just study japanese history. hes interested in the past of almost all countries

- very neutral on almost everything, doesnt have many opinions of his own

- but one thing he does have a strong opinion on is hating hetalia (who doesnt?)

- dresses like a victorian

- acts like he hasnt had a social interaction with a human being in years

- smells like old books and cats

Mitsuo Nakashima, Ultimate ???

Likes: dark rooms, wifi

Dislikes: confusing websites, superstitions

D.O.B: December 25

Height: 5’6”

- has not slept in a week but its fine

- very insistent on keeping secrets

- not even his classmates know who he or his talent is

- chooses not to tell anyone his talent (for some reason)

- does not believe in luck. at all

- for a tired guy who has no sense of left or right, hes pretty cocky

- probably has a tragic backstory

- spends most time locked in a dark room

- will fall asleep in a random hallway

- it might be the fatigue and coffee talking, but hes surprisingly intelligent

- smells like dirty laundry and ramen

Asuka Ando, Ultimate Student Council Treasurer

Likes: jewelry, mythology

Dislikes: delinquents, air horns

D.O.B: January 11

Height: 5’8”

- that one blonde chick in every slasher

- very cocky because of her position

- convincing and manipulative

- also good with management as you would expect from a treasurer

- was a math whiz in middle school

- despite acting in control, shes very reliant on emica telling her what to do

- hides behind bigger people

- collector of jewelry

- smells like chokingly sweet perfume and bleach

Manabu Ueda, Ultimate Astrogeologist

Likes: tea, stargazing

Dislikes: broken glass, slime

D.O.B: October 25

Height: 5’8”

- a polite boi, admirable

- more or less on the quiet side, tho he can and does step in to say stuff, and he does enjoy conversation

- his talent is something he grew from his own ambitions, but rather, it was more of a family line thing. he still does enjoy astrogeology though, which is why he chose to continue it even when he got a chance to study something different

- as you would expect from the ultimate astrogeologist, he contains many facts about space hes willing to share

- compliments others pretty often if we’re being real here, overall more of an optimistic realist

- however, even then, hes more of a ‘act first ask questions later’ type of guy as well

- a bit on the vain side?? very proud of his looks

- is very attracted to women who can beat him up-

- smells like expensive perfume and moondust

Seiichi Miyamoto, Ultimate Slam Poet

Likes: ink, protests

Dislikes: alcohol, peer pressure

D.O.B: August 26

Height: 5’5”

- best boy

- despite having the public image of a very loud and passionate young man, in person hes a lot more quiet and polite

- very good with voice shifting

- pulls at his tie when hes nervous; because of this, its always loose around his neck

- was the rep of his class

- slam poetry is a form of venting for him

- has strong opinions

- cares more about others health then his own

- not shy, just very nervous

- smells like nature and scented markers

Tamotsu Fujimoto, Ultimate Tomb Guide

Likes: sand, the heat

Dislikes: slippery ice, pens

D.O.B: November 19

Height: 6’4”

- the dad friend

- has known masa since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- mature but also laid back

- gives good hugs

- muscular

- wasnt actually born in japan, but grew up in it for the most part

- his parents were archaeologists, and they traveled alot. he was always particularly interested in the history of egypt, rather than becoming an archaeologist like his parents originally wanted him to be

- strong sense of justice

- usually believes in redemption

- acts as a form of transportation for the others when their tired, especially masa and satoru

- smells like tropical drinks and stuffy places

Kamiko Yamasaki, Ultimate Tapestry Seamstress

Likes: luck charms, quiet

Dislikes: being the main subject of attention, jumpscares

D.O.B: March 13

Height: 5’3”

- babey

- grew up in a superstitious household

- believes that she has terrible luck and uses everything bad that has ever happened to her as proof

- because of her supposed bad luck, she spent a lot of time locked in her house, sewing tapestries as a way of keeping busy, before being invited to sailing integrity

- has a good eye and knowledge of fabrics

- has a whole collection of sunhats. sadly, she only brought two different ones for the cruise trip(not like she was expecting more than a weeks stay hhshshs)

- has a large family

- has many bandaids on her fingers due to accidentally pricking herself on sewing needles multiple times

- interested in folklore

- very apologetic

- has a low sense of self esteem

- because of her ‘bad luck’, she blames a lot of bad stuff on herself, even if it doesnt even involve her

- sensitive

- grows quickly attached to others

- likes to stay close to anything that she believes would bring her ‘good luck’

- smells like sunflowers and dirt

Kenta Inoue, Ultimate Parkourer

Likes: sneakers, tetris

Dislikes: being told what to do, stuck up people

D.O.B: February 17

Height: 6’3”

- angrey boy

- incredibly short tempered

- no one remembers seeing him ever smile

- healthy parent relationships? whats that??

- will stomp curb you

- easy to get flustered up, though he wouldnt admit it

- will not stop until hes defied gravity

- defining feature is his allstar sneakers

- smells like varying cologne and sexual frustration

Chieko Endo, Ultimate Chemist

Likes: friendly gambling, working out

Dislikes: romance stories, people coming up from behind her

D.O.B: January 2

Height: 6’0”

- the intelligent one

- serious and calm, keeps a clear head

- a true neutral

- has mastered the art of poker faces

- apathetic

- has a strong dislike of romantic things

- sharp minded

- surprisingly agile and athletic

- can recite the periodic table from the top of her head

- is always looking above the tip of her glasses

- no one: chieko: *anime glasses gleam*

- chieko, to seiichi: ‘ah, so your the twink’

- so edge, such cool

- smells like roses and melted wax

Masa Shibata, Ultimate Dream Interpreter

Likes: fiction, horoscopes

Dislikes: spiky rocks, flashlights

D.O.B: December 31

Height: 5’11”

- mythic bab

- tries to act all mysterious and wise but sometimes accidently slips and reveals she really is just a normal teenager who spends way too much time on tumblr

- has known tamotsu since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- actually spent a lot of time in the hospital as a kid

- very blunt

- not good with human emotions at ALL

- not good at picturing stuff, will draw and whatever ends up on the page will -genuinely either impress or surprise her

- a little lazy if you will

- very interested in horoscopes

- holds grudges

- tamotsu translates her weird way of speaking a lot

- knows like fifty ways to get to sleep immediately

- instead of saying ‘good morning’, she asks ‘how was your dreams?’ to people

- keeps a dream journal, not for herself, but for everyone else

- smells like clean warm laundry and sheep

Fumiko Ogawa, Ultimate Lucky Student (or Blackjack Player)

Likes: the color red, praise

Dislikes: trivia facts, strip poker

D.O.B: July 3

Height: 5’9”

- has more of a gambler aura rather then a lucky student aura

- very proud of herself

- soaks up praise and compliments like a sponge

- a family girl, especially looks up to her older brother

- an attention seeker

- knows how to get what she wants

- doesnt really like the title of ultimate lucky student which is why she goes by ultimate blackjack player

- is actually not even a fan of talent schools??

- dresses like a 1940s stage dancer

- smells like raspberries and cash

Kohaku Ono, Ultimate Murder Mystery Novelist

Likes: horror movies, plot twists

Dislikes: overdone tropes, being looked up to

D.O.B: May 9

Height: 6'3"

- a polite bab

- very honest

- handy in investigating due to their knowledge and imagination

- has very low self esteem

- considers themself a borderline 'villan', despite doing their hardest to be nice to everyone

- warns everyone about themself, but characters who were in the same class as them have just gotten use to it

- very uncomfortable with praise and being called a 'role model'

- helps others to their best ability

- compares many situations to varying books, including their own

- unintentionally ominous

- writes using a typewriter rather then a computer or laptop

- smells like peppermint and typewriter ink

Aika Kouki, Ultimate Vintage Collector

Likes: buttons, dial up phones

Dislikes: being ignored, boredom

D.O.B: August 10

Height: 5'5"

- would and will add 'chan' to the end of everyones names

- grew up in a family that was very about keeping things 'old fashioned'

- resents the term 'boomer'

- talks like a 2000s teen

- very energetic and cheerful

- uses old fashioned slang often

- 'thats wack, brosiki'

- expresses interest in being other people

- very praising of others, often talking how 'jealous' she is of them

- overall very positive

- she and yuuki have known each other since grade school, even though they arent paticularly super close friends

- watched a lot of sailor moon as a kid

- modern tech impresses her more then it should

- smells like 1950 perfume and the outdoors

Satoru Takahashi, Ultimate Marine Biologist

Likes: sea otters, the water

Dislikes: his height, fish nets

D.O.B: December 5

Height: 4'8"

- its the tiny boi

- would unironically threaten your kneecaps

- is very sad about not seeing any marine animals during their cruise

- is insecure about his height but wont admit it

- often asks taller, stronger people to carry him on their shoulders(kenta refuses, but tamotsu is fine with it)

- very bold

- says whatever comes to his mind

- it started out as a joke, but he probably has a tentacle kink-

- adventurous young lad

- usually very friendly, but not hesitant to call out what he feels is bullshit

- calls kenta, mitsuo, and chieko 'edgelords'

- spaces out a lot

- smells like salt water and wet fur

Usagi Shimizu, Ultimate Runaway/Explorer

Likes: the forest, music

Dislikes: closed in spaces, car lights

D.O.B: September 1

Height: 5'4"

- very quiet

- has had many foster parents

- technically, shes listed as the ultimate explorer in the academy, but everyone refers to her talent as 'ultimate runaway' due to her reputation

- shy, but can be loud if she wants to

- surprisingly smart when asked questions

- usually calm, but it isnt hard to get her riled up

- everyone expects her to be some sort of delinquent due to her history of running away from her many homes, but really shes basically the opposite

- usually goes with whatever everyone agrees to

- takes many pictures of nature, and posts them to social media

- blushy

- smells like bushes and granola bars

#cruise to despair

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peachyteabuck · 6 years ago

Text

fool outta me [bucky barnes x reader]

summary: bucky and you finally have a conversation about your feelings after you catch him getting jealous about your friendship with thor

pairing: bucky barnes x writer!reader

words: 2080

trigger warnings: some teeth rotting fluff. talk about personal insecurities. allusions to previous and future sexual contact without much specifics. mentions of an unspecified childhood trauma

notes/other: hi hello i know i’ve been writing a lot of fluff n stuff. i will get back to fics abt two or more ppl just fuking rawing each other soon. dw.

ask box / masterlist / commission info / ko-fi

You and Bucky have been dating for awhile. Not a long time, but awhile. You hadn’t officially moved in together yet (you still paid your half of the rent for your shitty apartment), but you still often slept in his room in the Tower. You’ve had sex, but had never gotten too adventurous. It’s good, Bucky and you are happy. You’re in love. No need to push it, no need to talk it further, no need to complicate things.

You’re sitting on the couch, reading some book about the gendered politics of crafting, when you hear a loud crash in the kitchen. The others are all in other places at far ends of the Tower, and you’re pretty sure Natasha went out to get coffee. But any of them in the kitchen on the common floor? Without you noticing? Nope. Not possible.

Good news is, you trust Tony enough to not allow some stray or burglar to come and kidnap you, so you decide to investigate. You keep your hardcover novel with you to act as a makeshift weapon...just in case. You’re expecting a rat, or maybe some sort of ghost, possibly a dog no one thought to CC you on the email about - definitely not the god that’s been spooked by a a Nutribullet plastic container thingy that’s fallen from a poorly-stacked cabinet.

“Thor Odinson,” you groan, grabbing and gently placing the large smoothie-thing (oh god, what do you call those things anyway? Do they have names?) in the sink. “You scared the shit out of me!”

He looks sheepish as he explains. “Sorry, my lady. It looks like someone in this residence didn’t put…” he gestures to the object. “That away correctly.”

“It’s fine.” You half laugh, half sigh as you go to hug him. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

Thor chuckles. “It has! Please, sit back down. I’ll be there in a minute and you can tell me everything I’ve missed!”

You smile, nodding and going back to your place on the extremely comfortable couch. Ever the gentleman, about two minutes later he hands you your favorite mug - a baby blue one with cursive gold lettering that says “flight” with little birds on it- with your favorite tea inside. It’s warm under your hands and provides a relief to the ache from holding the book.

“An apology - for scaring you like that,” Thor tells you as you blow lightly at the steam from the beverage.

Again, you smile. “Apology accepted.”

The conversation between you two flows beautifully. You two talk about this and that: about your writing and his kingly duties. About your new book deal and his universal travels. It seems ludicrous, comparing your lives. But he seems genuinely interested in your life - just as you are his.

Book long forgotten, it seems like hours later when Bucky enters the floor with Natasha and Sam in tow. They’re all chatting about some new upcoming training technique they’re going to try with some of the subordinates. Once they all see Thor, they greet him with the same grand gestures and loud voice they’ve always seemed to use with the equally grand and loud god.

Well, except Bucky. He greets only you and only you with his signature peck on the lips, sitting beside you and pulling you into his chest. He’s showered - thank Gods - and he smells like the body wash you bought him. The honeycomb is calming and comforting, much more so than sweat and adrenaline and whatever else got stuck to him.

“How was the workout?” You ask.

He shrugs when he answers. “Good - the usual.”

You roll your eyes. Bucky may not be able to see it with the angle you’re at, but he knows you’re doing it anyway. “Always so descriptive,” you tease. He smiles, welcoming your chide remarks.

Thor watches the pair of you. You can tell Bucky notices, but neither of you really say anything. He had a habit of staring at things while on Midgard, it became a habit after one-to-many all-too-forward inappropriate questions, mostly made while in public (Why does that woman have a metal bar through her ear? He asked in a coffee shop. Why would anyone want to build a bear, especially little children? He texted you when he went to the mall for a first time. Why does this text end in an eggplant? He questioned when he picked up your phone and accidentally read all of your notifications).

It’s no biggie - at least not to you, so you badger Natasha about her postponing a girls’ night. Bucky, though, doesn’t take his eyes off of the God. He watches Thor with his assassin’s precision, and you choose not to comment.

Soon, your conversation with Thor picks back up. The whole time, Bucky’s muscles occasionally tense. For awhile, you ignore it; You know better than to push anything, so you drop it from your mind for the time being. Later that night, though, you bring it to the surface again as you get dressed for bed and Bucky brushes his teeth.

“Sooo…” you begin, leaning on the doorway to the bathroom.

Bucky spits the black (charcoal was Steve’s new thing, and Bucky’s always willing to be his guinea pig) saliva into the sink. “What’s up, babe?”

You shrug, attempting to remain nonchalant. “What was with you while I was talking to Thor on the couch earlier this afternoon?”

Bucky immediately denies his actions. “Nothing, it was nothing.”

You scoff. “I’m a retired interrogator for the United States Navy. You can’t knock me off your path that easily...James.”

Oooooo, full first names are coming out now. This is getting serious.

Bucky scoffs, too. Yours was serious, though. The one he does is obviously an attempt to mock you. “And I was interrogated for like, seventy years. You can’t crack me that easily.”

You stare at him via the mirror, blank-faced. “Really, you’re pulling the Winter Soldier card?”

Bucky shrugs, finally wiping off his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You don’t budge, metaphorically and literally. “You’re deflecting and you know it.”

He just grumbles something unintelligible and brushes past you, huddling under the thick comforter on his side of the bed and turning off the lamp on his nightstand. Bucky’s acting like a small child who just got told he can’t go over to his friend’s house on Saturday because he has to get up early for Sunday mass. Luckily, the only more stubborn person on this Earth besides him (and Steve) is you.

Plus, you babysat until grad school: you know how to handle petulant children. You turn off the rest of the lights and snuggle into bed right beside him, curling your arms around his middle - just like he loves it. He’d never admit it, but James Buchanan Barnes (World’s longest serving POW, Winter Soldier, Veteran, Avenger) absolutely adores being the little spoon.

When he settles into you, you know you’ve got him right where you want him. “You know, if you don’t want to talk to me, I could just give Wanda the go-ahead to read your mind and spoil all of the pranks you were planning to play on Sam…”

He flips over and gasps. “You wouldn’t…”

“And I won’t!” You assure. “You just have to tell me how you feel.”

“Ugh,” Bucky exclaims dramatically. “Talking about emotions.”

You snort a little, kissing his warm, sweet-smelling shoulder. Damn, you really know how to pick a body wash.“You knew this was going to happen! My mom was a social worker, you can’t hide that part of me for long!”

He growls, then sighs. “Fine. But turn over.” You start to question him, but he cuts you off before a single sound can leave your lips. “I can’t have you looking at me while I say this.”

Listen, you bargain with yourself. You got him to open up! That’s great. Let him do it in his own way. Being the loving girlfriend you are, you flip over and face the wall.

It’s a few pregnant moments before he starts, but when he does - he can’t seem to stop. “Look, I know...listen. I was super like, sauve and stuff...pre-war and shit. Talk to Steve, he’ll tell ya. But being under mind control for a Nazi organization doesn’t really like, help your self-confidence, you know? When I met you, it was hard. I remember you, at that party. You looked...oh god, you looked so good in that velvet pantsuit. And those heels! When Natasha introduced us, I legit almost fell over,” it takes every ounce of all willpower you have not to giggle. You remember that day so vividly: how much your bra hurt, what the champagne tasted like, wanting to jump Bucky’s bones the minutes you saw him. Everything, you remember everything. “And then Natasha threw, like legit threw all of your books at me once we got home. And I read all of them. Several times. It was just...I remember I wrote down all of my favorite poems and like, read them every chance I could get. I just, you’re so articulate, the way you use your voice, the way you write. I was...floored. Still am. I just, you never cease to amaze me. And I remember the first time we slept together, and your dirty talking - god. I wanted to stop fucking you so I could write down everything you said. I’ve just never, I’ve never met anyone who could manipulate the English language like you can.”

You wipe a tear from your eye. God, what a fucking charmer. No wonder you let him get it on the first date.

“You’re so...like, you’re like some Greek statue. Carved from perfect marble and so precious. Sometimes I want to touch you make sure you’re real but I don’t want to smudge you, wreck your beauty. And I’ve always felt like...remember that poem, from your second poetry book. The one about trauma from your childhood?”

You sniffle. That poem, that’s the one he talked to you about on your first date. Normally you felt so uncomfortable when people complimented you, but with Bucky it felt so natural. “That my trauma felt like the jagged edge of a rock at the bottom of the pond; ever present but with no exact location until it was too late.”

Bucky picks up, still facing away from you. “Yeah, I just...I never thought anyone so fucking amazing could love someone like me. It felt like you were a shooting star that somehow fell in love with some stupid cliff’s edge, or some other shitty rock or something. I don’t know. I just...I’m worried that you’ll see me like I see me, and Thor is like...the hottest person ever. He’s just as bright as you are...at least, I don’t know, I remember you and him talking about your writing’s allusions to mythology and I had no fucking idea what you were talking about and I just...I don’t know. I love you, I love you so much, and I’m trying everyday to prove that to you. But I just, I’m not sure how to do that properly, so sometimes I-”

You don’t allow him to finish his sentence. You surge forward, your salty tears mixing with his as you kiss him. Bucky kisses back without hesitation. Both of you are reluctant to pull away, but oxygen cares not one bit about how in love two people are.

“I think dating a writer rubbed off on you,” you whisper, lips still almost touching his. “Because those words...fuck. If you keep talking to me like that, we’ll never be able to leave this bed again.”

He laughs, deep and husky. “What can I say, I’m a changed man. First the loofah and that body wash, then the yoga, now this…”

You bark out laughter, then sigh happily. “If Thor would make you crack like this I would’ve invited him to Midgard a long time ago…”

Bucky jabs his fingers into your side, tickling you. “Don’t even joke about that! I’m trying to be tender here, and this is how you treat me?”

You kiss him again, smiling. “Aw, my love. How ever will I make it up to you?”

He taps his finger to his chin for a moment, then flips you over so that he’s on top of you. “Oh, I think I have a few ideas…”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #reader insert marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #winter soldier #barnes #winter solider x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #lukis writes stuff

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rcncgaades · 4 years ago

Photo

↪ brief introduction to theodore ashworth.

BASICS

full name: theodore benjamin ashworth. nickname(s): teddy. age: twenty-eight. date of birth: 27 march 1989. zodiac sign: aries. place of birth: san francisco, california, united states. ethnicity: white. nationality: american. gender: cis male. sexual orientation: pansexual. romantic orientation: panromantic. religion: he wasn’t raised in a particularly religious household-- the most he’s ever experienced religion wise was attending mass occasionally with his ex-wife when they were still teenagers. education: bachelors in secondary education & history ( double major ), credential allowing him to teach in the state. occupation: high school us history teacher. language(s) spoken: english ( primarily ); he speaks conversational french from studying it in school but it’s rough at best. accent: he doesn’t consider himself to have a discernible accent but he does have a ‘west coast’ american accent.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

face claim: toby regbo. hair color: dirty blonde to brown-- depending on how much time he’s been spending outside. eye color: blue. height: 5′10″. weight: 144 lbs. build: slim. tattoos: he doesn’t have any tattoos to speak of. piercings: he has a helix piercing in his left ear that is, thankfully, usually covered by his hair which he appreciates considering it makes it easy to hide for work. distinguishing characteristics: the way he carries himself, his penchant for flirting with every person he speaks to for even a fraction of a second, how warm he is ( literally and figuratively ).

PERSONALITY

label: the historian. positive traits: adaptable, adventurous, articulate, charismatic, charming, clever, compassionate, confident, creative, eloquent, intelligent, passionate, resourceful, witty. negative traits: competitive, sarcastic. argumentative, decadent, haughty, hedonistic, impulsive, obsessive, possessive, rowdy, vindictive. goals/desires: to make a name for himself, to be the best father he can possibly be, to find love again. fears: athazagoraphobia ( fear of being forgotten ). hobbies: writing, people watching, cooking, drinking ( he’s fairly picky and he has a habit of drinking specifically to find something he genuinely enjoys ), having sex, reading, going for hikes, practicing muay thai, watching cooking shows, travelling, spending time with his friends & siblings, doing anything at all with his daughter the second she asks. quirks: he’s equally polite and incredibly crass and it’s really a crap shoot as to which trait he leans more towards on any given day, he bites his lips to the point they’re always a bit chapped. he’s an exceedingly affectionate person – even with people he doesn’t know all that well, he has a running knowledge of most children’s books as a result of having made reading with his daughter every night a habit of his since she was very young. likes: french desserts, good food in general, wine, attention, attractive men, attractive women, poetry & fiction in general, cooking, researching, foreign films, punk music, classical piano pieces, travelling, spending time with his daughter, historical fiction, period piece films. dislikes: not being taken seriously, escargots, long winded speeches, public speaking, close-minded people, anyone who judges him for becoming a father at such a young age, anyone who speaks ill of his family, having to wake up early for work.

FAMILY

father: christopher “kit” patrick ashworth. mother: eleanor michelle ashworth née martinsen. sibling(s): travis bran ashworth ( twin brother, identical ), patrick james ashworth ( younger ). pet(s): he doesn’t have any pets at the moment. financial status: middle class.

BIOGRAPHY

Teddy was born in San Francisco seven minutes after his older twin brother to Kit and Ellie Ashworth. Both of his parents were academics - his mother working towards a professorship in ancient history at UC Berkeley and his father working towards his doctorate in english literature with a focus on twentieth century American literature. Teddy and his brother were thick as thieves, and their parents doted on both of them with as much time as they could possibly give them. Teddy himself developed a love of reading from a young age, and his parents’ academic pursuits instilled a love of school and learning in general in him nearly from the moment he set foot into his kindergarten classroom. Teddy’s younger brother was born when he was two and all three boys have been insanely close throughout their lives.

His relatively happy childhood took a turn for the worse when he was ten and his father was involved in a fatal car accident on his way home from lecturing on evening. Teddy and the rest of his family were devastated, and after much consideration his mother made the decision to move them to Turtle Bay, South Carolina-- her hometown. Teddy tried his very best to work through his grief and managed to remain the same kind, softhearted boy he’d always been. Though he became far more prone to getting into fights on behalf of his brothers or any friends he felt the need to look out for and protect. His mother urged him to join extracurricular activities to avoid getting himself into trouble and with his academics already spectacular Teddy made the knee-jerk decision to join the high school swim team.

He excelled at it from the start, and as he found himself breaking record after record there was talk of him making junior Olympic teams and other things that Teddy found, quite frankly, insane to consider. When he entered his sophomore year he met a girl by the name of Paige Irwin; Teddy was already an immensely popular boy ( his good looks and kind heart drawing people to him more easily than he expected most times ) but he’d never taken to anyone the way he took to Paige. He was smitten with her immediately and did everything in his power to get to know her and spend every bit of spare time he had dedicating himself to that effort. It was, in essence, a whirlwind high school romance and Teddy happily asked Paige to be his girlfriend two months into their knowing one another.

They’d been dating for two years when Paige came to him nearly in tears, and after Teddy cycled through several questions that seemed intent on tracking down a specific person to find fault with - she admitted that she was pregnant. Teddy had never planned on becoming a father at such a young age but he eagerly informed Paige that he would do everything in his power to be a wonderful father to their future child and a wonderful partner for Paige in general. Their graduation approached faster than either of them knew what to do with and rather than go away for school like they’d been planning, both of them made the choice to attend Clemson University so they would never be far from a support system in the form of their families. Teddy never regretted the choice and a few months into their first year of college their daughter Eleanor Violet Ashworth was born.

She was, as far as Teddy was concerned, the most beautiful thing in his entire life and outside of the occasional frantic call to his mother at two AM seeking advice, Teddy considered fatherhood and his marriage to Paige to be the most important things in his life. Time passed and both Teddy and Paige became teachers - Teddy choosing to teach history at the high school level in Turtle Bay and Paige teaching at the elementary school. Both of them were immensely passionate and their relationship only seemed to flourish once they shared a profession between them. Their lives remained picture perfect until Ellie was around eight - at which point Paige informed Jack that she felt their relationship had run its course and she needed something new.

Though he was heartbroken Teddy was determined to maintain a healthy relationship with his now ex-wife and they’re still friendly, though Paige no longer lives in Turtle Bay. It’s been a year and a half since the divorce and Teddy is finally getting to a place where he feels he might be able to get out into the world again as a single man, and a single father. He has full custody of his daughter and trying to wrangle a pre-teen girl is one of the most difficult but arguably most fulfilling things he’s ever done in his life.

#「 teddy — general 」 » theodore ashworth.#intro.

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beaglelinefics · 7 years ago

Text

Pretty Damn Good

Taeyong x Male Reader

Writer: Jaime

Masterlist

A/N: Honestly I don’t know what this is but I felt bad about not posting in a while so I wrote this. Hope you enjoy!

“Arthur is a fucking crook!”

Taeyong closed his eyes and let out a sigh through his nose when he heard his husband’s enraged shout. Johnny and Jaehyun had just been given airtime on one of the city’s most popular radio stations, so the lot of you had gone out to celebrate. Unfortunately that led to a drinking contest between you and Yuta, and now you were going off on some drunken rant about King Arthur, something that never ended well. He had to get you out of here before you all were kicked out of yet another bar.

“He didn’t even fucking exist,” you insisted as Yuta cheered you on from beneath the table. “He was just… he was just made up! The Brits couldn’t stand the English, right,” you paused to hiccup before continuing, “so they created this, this fraud as a symbol of British resistance.”

“That’s nice, sweetheart, now let’s get going.” Taeyong gently grabbed your arm and started to drag you to the door as you wriggled in his grasp.

“It’s a lie! Camelot never existed! They’re fucking crooks, man!”

“Babe, stop talking.”

“The people deserve to know the truth!” you declared to the cheers of your fellow drunks. “Don’t give in! Fight the system! Arthur was a fucking crook!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” he muttered while fighting to get you into a cab. “How can someone who never existed be a crook?”

“He… he cheated the people. They’ve been idolizing a man who never existed!” You leaned forward and looked at the driver urgently. “Arthur is a fucking crook!”

“I, uh, don’t mind him,” Taeyong rushed to say, “he’s had a lot to drink. He gets very passionate about history when he does.”

“Your buddy’s lucky to have such a good friend to take him home when he’s like this,” the driver replied. “Can’t imagine his wife will be very pleased to see him in this state.”

“What makes you think this kid has a wife?”

“Handsome guy like this who obviously knows a thing or two about intellectual topics despite being wasted? Kid’s got to have someone special. Classy ladies like the smart ones.” He eyed you in the rearview window. “Also the ring on his hand.”

“Ah, right.”

“Must be someone real special to put up with this.”

“Tell me about it. You should see him at weddings.”

“And you know what else?” You grabbed Taeyong’s cheeks and pulled him close to you so you could stare into his eyes. “Gildas was a fucking liar,” you whispered. “He bamboozled entire generations of people, modern historians included!”

“Why do you have to be such a nerd when you’re drunk?” Taeyong asked helplessly.

“He said, do you know what he said? He said Hadrian’s Wall was built… built…” You let out a burp and a laugh. “This old bag of dicks said Hadrian’s Wall was built after Antonine’s Wall! Can you fucking believe that?”

“Yeah, just let us out here,” Taeyong instructed the driver as you continued to rant about some old priest. “Babe, baby, let it go for a sec, will you? We’ve gotta get you to bed.” He pulled you out of the cab and handed the driver his fare as well as a generous tip. “Thank you for putting up with this—babe, could you please stop pulling on my scarf?—putting up with my husband’s rambling.”

The driver took the revelation in stride, not stumbling over any apologies or excuses like so many executives Taeyong had to deal with on a daily basis. “Like I said, you’ve gotta be someone special to put up with him.”

“Eh, he’s really not too bad,” Taeyong said as he gave you a fond smile. “We almost never lose on trivia night.”

“You two have a good night!”

“You as well, sir. Now, let’s get you up to bed.”

“—and so fucking rude about bardic poetry, like fuck off you old—“

“Haha, good evening Mrs. Flannigan!” Taeyong greeted the elderly woman who lived two floor below you as you stumbled through the revolving door. She gave the both of you a dirty look. “Y/N was just telling me all about fifth century Britain! Isn’t he so smart?”

“Your husband’s a lightweight, Mr. Lee,” she told him as she gathered her small dog in her frail arms. “You should really stop bringing him to bars. It won’t help him with his bosses at that fancy school he works at.”

“Luckily for us, his boss happens to be his best drinking buddy.”

“Hm… well at least he isn’t an offensive drunk. He only insults ancient historians.” She eyed you again with a curl of her lip. “Just make sure to watch his mouth around the children. The last thing any of us needs is a bunch of ruffians shouting such foul language in the lobby.”

“Oh, well, you know Y/N. Always the teacher,” Taeyong joked with a lame smile. At this point there was no way in hell Mrs. Flannigan would ever come to like the two of you. “Uh, anyways, have a good night! We’ll just… be… Y/N! Do not ring that bell!”

“It’s the bell of truth! THE PUBLIC DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH!”

Mrs. Flannigan pursed her lips as she watched your husband corral you into the elevator and press the button with an exhausted sigh. While she would never say this to anyone, certainly not to you or Taeyong, the both of you had actually grown on her. Everyone else in the building was so uptight and boring; at least you kept things interesting, even when sober. You had this habit of telling her your lesson plans for the day when she took the elevator down with you. She walked her dog around the same time you were heading out for work. And, unlike the other couples in the building, you and Taeyong had a good, healthy and strong relationship going. If she remembered correctly, you and Taeyong had just celebrated your tenth wedding anniversary. You didn’t bother her with the constant arguing and divorces. Out of all the other residents of the building, you two were by far her favorite. Perhaps she’d even give you something for that nasty hangover she knew you’d have tomorrow. Couldn’t let you teach god awful high schoolers—no matter how rich—dealing with that. She wasn’t that cruel.

(line break)

A groan left your mouth as your alarm clock shrieked in your ear, causing your skull to practically split in half. What was it about Yuta that made you drink so much? You’d think the two of you would have slowed down after college, grad school, and gaining positions at such a prestigious school, but apparently the two of you were still as dumb as you were at nineteen. You turned over in bed slowly, seeking out the warm embrace of your husband, pretty much the only thing that could help you when you were in this state. Except the bed was empty and sheets were cold. Where the fuck was Taeyong?

“Daddy!”

You let out a grunt of surprise—and a bit of pain—as two bundles of energy propelled themselves onto the bed and threw themselves on top of you. Your children, the two people you loved even more than Taeyong—something you had never thought possible—seemed oblivious to your suffering as they chattered on about their plans for the day. What day was it? Friday? Why the fuck had the guys decided to celebrate on a Thursday night? You had classes to teach! Taeyong, the light of your life, came in to save you, whispering to your kids that they should go into the kitchen and set the table so you could get up and shake the grump monster from your system. That was his annoyingly cute way of saying hangover, because apparently your children needed to know that. Yuta, as much as you loved your best friend, got you drunk often enough to warrant the appearance of the grump monster pretty frequently. The asshole…

“Rise and shine, professor,” Taeyong whispered in a teasing voice. “Ready to face your lovely pupils?”

“I fucking hate high school seniors,” you growled while rubbing your temples. “They’re going to really fucking try my patience today. I may actually commit murder today, Tae.”

“Pretty sure Mrs. Flannigan will have some disgusting concoction for you this morning, so at least you have that to look forward to.”

“You know, as awful as they are, I think they might actually work.”

“Well up and at ‘em, babe, because if you don’t hurry, you’re going to miss that elevator ride with our lovely neighbor.”

“Ugh, I don’t wanna go to school,” you groaned as you buried your face in his shoulder. “Don’t make me go!”

“As much as I would love to have you here helping me look after the little ones, there are other impressionable youths who require your guidance.”

“Like I said, I fucking hate high school seniors.”

“And they hate you too!” he called after you as you shuffled into the bathroom. “Just know that they’ll be thanking you in their inauguration speeches!”

“If those shits ever get into office, any political office, I am actually retiring!”

He smiled as you shut the door before going to check on your son and daughter. Without proper attention, those two would probably set your apartment on fire. Whether on purpose or accidentally was something neither you or Taeyong wanted to find out, so it was better to have constant surveillance on them. They inherited their parents’ intelligence, but also learned from their uncles how to use that intelligence to wreak havoc. You guys were really regretting letting Johnny and Jaehyun babysit them that one time you joined Taeyong on a business trip. The apartment had been in constant disarray ever since.

“Hey, Dad, is Daddy gonna be okay?” your son asked as he looked up at Taeyong with wide eyes.

“The grump monster seemed really grumpy today,” your daughter added.

“Well Daddy will be officially free of the grump monster after some coffee and breakfast,” you told them as you came into the kitchen and dropped kisses into their hair. “Did your Dad make some coffee to appease the grump monster?”

“You know I’m never making that mistake again,” he chuckled, referring to the time he’d completely forgotten to make you coffee and you had been a terror for the rest of the day, even refusing to stay at his dorm for the next few days after that. “Your coffee, good sir.”

“Why thank you, my lord,” you replied in an imitation of a British knight. “Coffee is good to go, so time to say goodbye to the grump monster.”

Your children and husband cheered as you gulped down the bitter liquid and let out a loud ‘ah!’ So maybe you weren’t the most responsible adult going out and getting drunk when you had two kids at home and worked as a high school teacher, but you weren’t awful. And, looking at your happy family as they talked and laughed over breakfast, you could say that you might even be more than just not awful. You were doing pretty damn good.

#nct #Nct u #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct x reader #lee taeyong #nct taeyong #it's a fucking mess but whatever #sorry for not posting in a while #college fucking sucks man #jaime

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youcantfiremebecauseiquit · 4 years ago

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Do you like Courtney Love? And if you do is it because of her Nirvana/Kurt connection or because you just think she’s awesome for herself? Thanks in advance for your time in answering this. ☠️🤟

Yes, of course! I’d say I reblog/post on her quite a lot here, maybe even too much, but yeah, she’s my favourite woman in rock music. Of course Courtney has a lot of flaws and she’s not perfect, but people treat her waaay too harsh. Sure she’s awesome for herself, to me Hole and Nirvana are kind of separate worlds in some ways, even though Kurt & Courtney were great together and they were an example of a very interesting & inspiring relationship, because they both made music, both had successful bands & to me because of that they were equal. I know people mostly look down on Courtney and say she’s only famous because she married the right person, but anyone who’s not sexist or misogynistic and actually takes time to read/listen to C.Love without an immediate mindset that she killed Kurt, “she’s a talentless fame whore” etc. can see she’s very intelligent and in my opinion she had as much to say as Kurt and had a huge impact on people, especially girls.

But that’s another subject. I;ve got to admit however I got into Hole through Nirvana. I knew about her vaguely before, by vaguely I mean I’ve seen her on tv or elsewhere but didn’t really know who she was. She played a show in my country in 2010 and she was the main star at the big festival (i regret i didn’t go, but I started to listen to her about 1 year later!) It was the time of Nobody’s Daughter release and general public was rather hateful towards her. The only rock magazine in my country wrote a bad article about her, mostly spitting on ND and bringing up how she’s on drugs & how she showed her tits on David Letterman show. (I don;t think it was anything particularly smart or bad either. But it’s ironic how that particular occurence was deemed literally Courtney’s “biggest fall from grace” & now 16 years on somebody’s showing their tits daily on tv, mtv, instagram etc. & it’s consider oh so empowering.) Magazines also mocked her because of plastic surgeries... and let’s be honest plastic surgeries weren’t as normalized as they’re now. In my country they were only achievable to celebrities. Now everybody pushes out their lips & botches their faces a lot so i think these procedures got more affortable. 10 years ago surgeries were considered something really vain however, so they mocked Courtney Love. In my opinion Courtney should have stopped in 1996, she looked her hottest in 1996. She looked great but later she got a nose that made her look like Madonna, and then continued to overdo it. But it’s her choice, now she kinda has no way now. I just think it’s kind of low however to mock her for having her 1st nosejob. I’d say her first nosejob was understandable, she wanted to improve her appearance and kind of get rid of her father’s genetics, so it was more of cosmetic surgery. I read Kim Gordon’s book and I was disgusted how Kim mocked Courtney for getting the FIRST nosejob, for having any procedures at ALL. She describes her nosejob scar at POTI sessions and she shades her for surgery in general, (that same old mindset plastic surgery=being vain) which only made her looked shallow, not Courtney. Ok too much talk on the nosejobs though, back to the subject.

Then in 2011 I discovered Nirvana and it was very important band to me, that was a band of outsiders, I could relate to Kurt & his story. They introduced me to a lot of underground punk rock and good bands. Tbh i was very surprised that his wife had her own band. I listened to Violet first and then other songs and i could tell immediately it’s great music. That was something I searched for, a woman that plays guitar herself and sings with a low & harsh voice. A woman that plays noisy punk music but doesn’t try to be a man. Joan Jett is great, L7 too but they’re more like the tomboy chicks always in trousers that very masculine, you know. I didn’t like that if you wanted to be a woman in rock music, you had to always IMPRESS, you had to PROVE you’re the same as men. Men can literally slack off and do nothing but they end up being praised, but girls are always questioned - they have to prove they can even play guitars, they have to be able to play complicated poodle metal solos or else they “suck”, they have to dress like boys, etc. I hate that kind of thinking. Courtney didn’t give a fuck, she sang & played as she wanted, sounding in a conventionally “ugly” way. She wore cute girly dresses with a torn punk twist and wouldn’t brush her hair, and she was very confident. She was thousand times more punk than all those rock boys making stupid faces and dressing up in all the rock’n’roll stuff. Or all those rock’n’roll Axl Rose boys with macho rock groupie-fucking mentality. Also soundwise, Pretty On The Inside was extremely noisy. This one is still the heaviest record with female vocals, in the same way In Utero is darker than all the black metal stuff. There are female heavy metal bands, but they sound pop compared to Pretty On The Inside - it’s the darkness & heaviness in the vibe, noise and lyrics, not in the guitar tuning.

Courtney had a low voice & we had the same scale. A lot of female singers have high or pretty voices, which kind of irritated me cause I had no songs to train singing. I learned singing confidently & screaming on Hole’s songs. I also started wearing dresses & skirts again after getting inspired by her looks. She had those doll dresses, which was something new to me. I played guitar and wrote songs, but I always planned only to be a guitarist and to get a singer, but after getting into Hole I got confident enough to sing my lyrics. I guess Courtney Love inspired countless other girls to play/sing/write lyrics and be confident.

Obviously i read a lot about her, watched documentaries, live shows, bought Dirty Blonde book. Additionally i can say she’s really smart and funny. People that say she doesn’t write her own songs are usually sexist and cannot accept the idea that a woman can write her own songs, or play guitar. Hole’s songs are group effort but people who say Kurt wrote lyrics for Courtney are the worst, Courtney Love has a consistent writing style which becomes even more visible when you read Dirty Blonde. She really should release a poetry book.

I know Courtney Love possibly did some questionable or controversial things, or that she changed a lot and got into all that red carpet high fashion brands stuff, I admit i tend to ignore her faults tbh. But people villify her and love to hate her. It’s too easy to take the anger out on her and think she murdered her husband because it’s easier than accepting he really killed himself. It’s really fucking stupid, it’s idiotic how people now rewrite the story, say that Kurt Cobain was a poor little thoughtless Bambi without his own will, that he got pushed into drugs by her or that he wasn’t depressed or suicidal at all, because Buzz Osborne said so (as if talking to him at school or seeing him once a year on tour means he knew about his feelings or private problems, lol. I love Melvins but what Buzz Osborne does is kind of stupid, he speaks as if he was Kurt’s closest friend and lived with him or whatever. People think that just because you’re a funny guy and you laugh it means you can’t be depressed or suicidal. What a bullshit. It’s not like we cannot laugh or behave normally, lol. We don’t sink down and cry every second of our lives. But laughing doesn’t cure depression or deathwish, lol.) Or how people say that Kurt didn’t even love Courtney at all, that she didn’t really want a child but Courtney chained him with pregnancy. Dude... people are really desperate. I think they would eventually get divorced if Kurt lived but it’s not like he never loved her and she forced him to stay.

So coming back, I’m not on the level of praying to her altar everynight or something, but she’s my favourite female musician, i like Courtney & treat her as someone I can resonate with.

#asks

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functioning-minne-holic · 7 years ago

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Vaguely nsfw asks

1. Are looks important in a relationship? -Absolutely, if you’re not physically attracted to your partner, it’s very difficult to make things work.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? -Of course, you can’t learn and grow if you don’t try.

3. Are you a virgin?- Negative, ghost rider.

4. Are you in a relationship? -Check my bio in 24 hours for this answer.

5. Are you in love? -Not currently.

6. Are you single this year? -I have been, yes.

7. Can you commit to one person? -Yes.

8. Describe your crush. -Variable hair color, nerd, one of the coolest jobs ever, genuinely good person. Oh yea, and absolutely GORGEOUS.

9. Describe your perfect mate. -Short, cute, dorky, loves music and reading, enjoys being lazy, enjoys going out, dive bars with pool tables and darts > clubs, doesn’t try to change people.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? -I believe in “holy fuck that person is hot” at first sight. Because that’s what that is.

11. Do you ever want to get married? -If things are right and lead there, sure.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? -Depends on the betrayal.

13. Do you get jealous easily? -Not easily.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? -Absolutely.

15. Do you have any piercings? -Yup

16. Do you have any tattoos? -Yup

17. Do you like kissing in public? -I like kissing, end of story.

20. Do you shower every day? -Depends on how active I was. Day off and just watched netflix? Nah. But I’ll never go 2 days unless a shower isn’t available.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? -I’m pretty sure she does.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? -I think so.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? -Yup.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? -Apparently so lol.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? -However odd it is, due to my avoidance of them, I do.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? -Yea.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? -Yep.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? -Yep.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? -Yes.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? -I have. I’d love to correct my crooked jaw, but it’s not really something that’s possible.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? -A few times.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? -Thought so, turned out to be wrong.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? -No.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? -Yes.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? -Yes.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? -No.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? -Yep, should’ve listened.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? -No.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? -Who hasn’t?

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? -More than I can remember. I used to write a lot of poetry.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? -Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? -I never kiss someone I don’t want to ‘wander’ on.

43. How long was your longest relationship? -Almost 6 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? -20ish?

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? -1.

46. How many times did you have sex last year? -A handful?

47. How old are you? -31.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? -Good luck, keep in touch.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? -N/A.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? -Haven’t had a true love.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? -I’m gonna assume this excludes extreme shit, so yes.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? -Many people. Sometimes you have to let go of toxic people.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? -Doubtful.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? -Many people.

55. Share a relationship story. -Got yelled at for there being ‘something suspicious’ in the hot tub filter one time, but we weren’t the only couple in it, and it wasn’t us. Fucking Billy......Dick.

56. State 8 facts about your body. -6′1″. Dirty blonde. Fuzzy. Chubby. Need glasses. Dirty nails from work (I try, dammit), bearded, I haven’t woken up one day in the last year without something being sore.

57. Things you want to say to an ex. -Glad you’re happy.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? -Snuggle, warm your hands and feet on me (I know, but it’s adorable), be yourself, be honest, enjoy personal space.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) -Scroll and find out.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? -13 years.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? -Probably hair.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? -Lounge naked and be comfy in your own skin.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? -Pubic areas being pleasured, I guess?

64. What is your definition of cheating? -Doing something unfaithful to your partner, whatever you’ve established that is.

65. What is your favorite foreplay routine? -Casual dominance, kissing, slight physical restriction using hands, neck kissing/biting, exploring with mouths and hands, making her gasp and shiver before her clothes are off.

66. What is your favorite roleplay? -Haven’t done roleplay IRL, so I’m not sure.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? -Whatever makes her smile.

68. What is your sexual orientation? -Straight........kind of?

69. What turns you off? -The biggest is lying.

70. What turns you on? -The biggest (non sexual) is probably humor and/or intelligence.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? -Haven’t remembered my dreams in a long time.

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? -Cursing due to pleasure, moans, gasps, sighs, giggles, whimpers, screams, things that can’t even be understood in english, begging.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? -Be you.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? -Weight.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? -A girl compiled an entire journal of all my (self) published poems during the span of 2 years and gave it to me as a high school graduation present/will you go out with me present. It was fucking awesome.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? -Depends on the person, I guess.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? -As long as they’re legal, they’re preferred.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? -I shit myself one day on the way to work and just turned around and called in sick. (dirty, right?)

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? -I feel jealous quite often, it’s a very natural human emotion. It’s what you DO with it that matters.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? -Today.

81. Who are five people you find attractive? -Sara, Mila Jovovich, Fi (shameless), Michonne (TWD), The St. Pauli’s Girl girl.

82. Who is the last person you hugged? -uhhhh, my bestie? I think?

83. Who was your first kiss with? -Jessica O.

84. Why did your last relationship fail? -Way too many reasons to list.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? -Check my bio tomorrow for the answer.

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yeahwehadatime · 7 years ago

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Letter to My Younger Self - Noel & Julian

What would you say to your 16-year-old self if you could go back in time?

Noel Fielding - surreal comedian, 38

20-26 February 2012, by Jane Graham {x}

I was obsessed with football when I was 16. I was skillful winger and plating regular semi-pro. I hated school, except drawing, so I thought I’d either go to art school or become a footballer. I looked like a girl. I had long blonde hair and was very skinny. I remember being in a pub with my mate when I was at college and a woman came up to him and asked if he’d like to buy a rose for his girlfriend. I was furious.

I was definitely a late developer. But I think that’s quite good. There were boys in my year who looked like big massive men and they went out with grown-up women. They seemed to peak when they were 15. But you see then now and the look much older. You have all the time in the world to grow up. I don’t think you should rush it. it breaks my heart seeing kids at 11 these days, all grown up – is that it then, childhood’s over in 10 years?

If I met the teenage me now and someone told me he’d go on to do stand-up comedy and be quite outgoing and be on telly, I’d think, no way. I was quite sweet but I was very shy. And I didn’t look cool – I wore some bad chavvy clothes and had a terrible wedge haircut. But I think I’d see a glimmer of hope in that boy’s eyes, a sign of the art student, the beads and the strange ponchos to come.

The first time I did stand-up I was terrified. I did some performance art at college where I dressed up as Jesus, jumped off a big cross and danced like Mick Jagger. I had a water pistol with holy water in it. That went well so I booked some real gigs, but I constantly worried my stuff wouldn’t work. In those early days of stand-up I made myself ill worrying. I got hepatitis, which is made worse by stress. I’d do a spate of gigs and knock myself back and end up on the sofa for six months.

When I met Julian [Barratt, Fielding’s partner in The Mighty Boosh] it felt a bit like meeting a soul mate. My friends had told me I’d love him. They said he was a bit crazy and jazzy and he had no jokes. I thought he was amazing. I went up to him and said: “I’m just like you!” I think he just thought I was some weird kid but a couple of years later, of course, we were working together. Somehow out chemistry was there from the beginning.

I came from a working class background and I wasn’t very academic so I always thought everyone else knew more than me. I’d tell my younger self not to worry about that – no one knows what they’re doing. I think there’s a little bit of an attitude in some working class areas – “What, you’re going to go off and be a comedian are you, mate?” I’d tell the younger me not to listen to anyone lese. Take some risks – you’ve only got one life and it goes faster and faster.

If I could relive one day it would be the day I got into Croydon Art College. I didn’t get in at first, I was on the reserve list. I was hanging round with other people who didn’t have jobs and didn’t know what hey were going to do. Then I got a call telling me someone had dropped out and I had got into college. It was like a tiny door opening, an escape, and I thought – yes!

Julian Barratt - comedian and actor, 48

27 April 2017, by Jane Graham {x}

At 16 I was into jazz fusion. Not even jazz, just jazz fusion. Rock instruments played like jazz. Really not fashionable in any way. People like Weather Report, Jack Pastorius. My dad was bang into it, so I thought it was normal. Until I played some to my mates. Then when I saw their reaction, it became my dirty secret. I could play guitar pretty well. Or pretty fast anyway. Me and my mate had duels, trying to outspeed each other to become the fastest guitarist in Yorkshire. That was all that mattered to me.

One of my first pieces of advice to the teenage me would be not to go with the white Whitesnake-style suit for his first live gig. Though it did have the benefit of disguising my dandruff. I got into heavy metal because you could legitimately play solos. Van Halen was a big influence. At my first live gig I wore a white suit and I had long hair, quite curly but not much of it, quite thin hair, all round the front, parted just behind, with just a sprinkling of dandruff. And I played a lot of long, fast guitar solos. It wasn’t a very good look. And it didn’t get me any girls.

I was obsessed with particular girls, a feeling often unrequited needless to say. I remember a field geography trip to the Isle of Arran, when I was so in love with this incredible goth girl, Katie Kinaid. She was really into rocks. Not rock, geology. She didn’t notice me. But I was besotted. I just thought about her all the time, hoping for a glance. I was a late starter, quite naïve. Later on, I could see how being a comedian did help in that area. When you’re funny people sort of feel you must be nice, or at least not frightening.

I tried to leave home at 17 to become a jazz guitarist. We went to stay with a friend of a friend’s uncle but we came back after three days. We thought we’d make inroads into the jazz scene in London – we’d read biographies about guys who got gigs at Ronnie Scott’s and got spotted and immediately taken into someone’s band. So we told our parents we were leaving home. They gave us two days and we lasted three, so we outdid expectations.

If I met teenage Julian now, I’d see this shy person, with long hair, into odd music. But he is also becoming interested in comedy. I found it quite magical, finding people who made me laugh, thinking about how they did it. I remember seeing Vic and Bob and thinking, ah yes, that’s just what my mates do, that absurd humour, making an in-joke a public joke. Controversially, I quite like Bernard Manning. He had this particular kind of Northern delivery and timing. And when the jokes weren’t horribly racist, they were so funny. I mean, my grandad was a racist. You can’t do anything about these people, they’re from a different time. I remember Bernard Manning was shown a clip of The Mighty Boosh on a TV show, which was a great honour in a way. He said: “These two don’t have a fucking clue. As funny as a burning orphanage.” He had a real way with radical imagery.

I always hoped I could do comedy. I was never like Noel [Fielding] or Lee Mack, who are just funny all the time. No one ever said to me, you should be a comedian mate. But I watched a lot of stand-up at uni – people like Mark Lamarr, Sean Hughes, Eddie Izzard, just standing on a stage doing these phenomenal routines. And I could see how you could do it. So I started doing it myself, and I was so shocked when it worked. I remember one time I completely forgot what I was about to say, and I just ran out of the venue. There was a big lake in front of me and I thought about just running into it. Then the manager came out after me and said: “Get back in there, it’s going well.” So I went back. I suppose that was a big turning point for me.

I’m looking at a big poster of myself now and I know my 16-year-old self would see that and think, what is going on there? He would be amazed that people actually like what I do. When Noel and I started gigging together and found people were really enjoying it, it was such a thrill. It was a validation of what felt like a long process of growing up, coming up against all these difficulties if you’re shy and you have all these dreams and thoughts you can’t communicate. It was very exciting to finally find a way to express myself, and seeing people enjoying that. I suppose I’m interested in communicating a pretentious, pompous person a lot of the time, and I have to recognise there is that in me. I did a few serious things before I got into comedy, which make me shudder now. I remember having my mate film me, all shadowy, doing performance poetry. My goodness.

All the clichés about becoming a dad changing your life are true. When you don’t have kids and think about having this little creature to look after, you worry about it, you panic. But you just can’t imagine the amount of love you’ll have for these little things. You still worry but there’s such joy in it. I don’t tend to watch my own stuff, that’s a bit creepy. But when I watched The Boosh with my kids, it was like discovering it for the first time. I saw that we were making a childlike universe where you could be silly and go on adventures. Like Mr Benn. Lots of people think Noel and I just took lots of drugs and did whatever came to mind but we took it very seriously and worked very hard on it. I had this feeling that it paid off when I saw my kids enjoying it. ’Cos my other half, Julia [Davis, of Nighty Night, Hunderby, Psychobitches] – her shows are not appropriate for children at all.

If I could go to any time in my life I would just be swimming in the ocean in Majorca with my nine-year-old twins. That is it for me. I just love that. The thing about the media, the shows, the films… It does feel great when it works. But there’s an anxiety too. I don’t know about that stuff. It’s very exciting but it’s not what you have when you’re just floating about in the sea with your kids. That’s as good as it gets.

#noel fielding #julian barratt #THE BIG ISSUE #letter to my younger self #full interview #the link in noel's goes to boysandvoodoo's posting of the scanned copy - I didn't want to repost #the link in Julian's goes to the website for the interview - if anyone has scanned the hard copy plmk #sometimes we lose articles and i'd just like to work on helping us archive things so we can find them later

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