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oaksgrove · 2 months ago

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A Life Left Behind

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x ex!Reader, John Price x Reader

Synopsis: When Price accidentally lets it slip at a pub that he has a missus waiting at home, Simon never suspects it could be you. That is, until a snowy Christmas Eve, when fate leads him past a warmly lit window, where the life he could’ve had reveals itself in full, devastating clarity.

Warnings: Heavy angst, themes of regret and break up, bittersweet holiday vibes.

Word Count: 1214

a/n: I’ve had this idea swirling in my head for a while—it’s pure heartbreak with a festive backdrop. English isn’t my first language, and this was witten in a rush, so thank you for your patience and all the support on my writing!

Manchester, UK. october | 9:20PM | 8°C

The vanilla scent of your favorite candle hung in the air, bittersweet against the tension suffocating the room. It reminded Simon of softer nights—of the evenings you spent curled together on the couch, your laughter filling the silence he’d grown so accustomed to before you. The thought was fleeting, a warm ember snuffed out by the cold reality that now stood between you.

You stood by the kitchen counter, arms crossed defensively, your eyes a mix of anger and hurt. Simon loomed near the window, his shoulders hunched as though bracing himself for a blow.

“Say something, Simon,” you demanded, your voice raw with emotion. “Anything.”

He didn’t move at first, his gaze fixed on the street outside. His jaw tightened, the cords of muscle twitching under his skin. “What do you want me to say?” he finally asked, his voice low, restrained—like he was holding back a flood.

You stepped closer, forcing him to meet your gaze. “I want you to tell me this isn’t real. That you don’t mean it when you say it’s better if we break up.”

For a moment, his mask slipped. The conflict in his eyes was like a storm on the horizon—rage, sadness, and guilt all warring beneath the surface. Then he shut it down, closing himself off again. “It is better,” he said, his voice faltering before he hardened it.

“For who, Simon?” Your voice cracked, frustration mingling with the ache in your chest. “Because it sure as hell isn’t for me.”

“For you,” he replied, firmer this time. “You deserve someone who can give you more than this—more than me.”

You could only stare at him, disbelief giving way to anger. “You don’t get to decide that for me! I knew what I was getting into, and I’m here, Simon. I chose you!”

His hand went to the back of his neck, a frustrated gesture you’d seen countless times. “I can’t keep doing this to you,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “You don’t see it now, but you’ll be better off without me.”

Your mind flooded with memories—of Simon’s quiet presence grounding you after bad days, of his rare, unguarded moments of laughter that felt like secrets shared just between the two of you. The way he would silently slip your favorite mug into your hands during cold mornings, the weight of his arm around you as you fell asleep.

“Do you even hear yourself?” you whispered, desperation creeping into your voice. “You’re pushing me away because you think it’s what’s best for me? You’re not even giving me a choice.”

His silence was deafening, his eyes locked on the floor like he couldn’t bear to meet your gaze.

“I hope you believe that one day,” you said, grabbing your coat.

Your feet carried you to the door, and your hand hesitated on the knob. You wanted him to call out, to fight for you, to prove that this wasn’t just another wall he was building. But he didn’t.

You glanced back, and for a moment, he looked as though he might break—his fists clenched, his body taut with tension. But then his gaze dropped, and the words that could have saved you both never came.

“Goodbye, Simon.”

The door clicked shut behind you, and the cold October air wrapped around you as you walked away. Your legs moved on autopilot, but your mind stayed trapped in the warmth of the memories you were leaving behind.

The time he stayed up with you after your first fight, awkwardly holding your hand as he whispered, “I’m not good at this, but I’ll try.” The way he watched you with something close to wonder the night you wore his hoodie, laughing at his terrible attempt at making pancakes. The rare nights he let you in—told you stories of his childhood, of the people he lost. The first time he said, “I don’t deserve you,” and you kissed him before he could finish.

The sound of your own footsteps became unbearable, each one taking you further away from a man who couldn’t see that he was already everything you needed.

The Old Wellington - Manchester, UK. 1 year later, august | 9:45PM | 10°C

The pub buzzed with life, the comforting chaos of clinking glasses and laughter filling the air. Simon sat in the corner, detached, his untouched whiskey warming in his hand. His team’s voices faded into the background as his thoughts wandered to the edges of places he’d been avoiding.

Soap’s voice boomed above the noise, mid-story and gesturing wildly. “And then, just as the guy thinks he’s outsmarted us, the bloody fence gives way and—bam! Flat on his arse!”

Gaz burst into laughter, his grin wide. “You’ve got to be making that up.”

Price leaned back in his chair, chuckling. “It’s true. I was there.”

Simon stared into his glass, barely hearing the conversation. Soap nudged him with an elbow. “Oi, Ghost, are you alive in there?”

Simon glanced up, forcing a faint smirk. “Listening to you lot’s more entertaining than talking.”

“Sure it is,” Soap teased, raising his glass.

Price set his drink down, a rare smile tugging at his lips. “I’ve got to go. It’s already late, missus is waiting for me at home.”

Soap nearly choked on his beer. “Wait a minute. You’ve got a missus? Since when?”

Gaz leaned forward, grinning. “Yeah, Cap. You’ve been holding out on us!”

“She likes her privacy,” Price replied with a shrug, a soft edge to his voice. “But yeah, I’ve got a missus.”

Simon’s grip on his glass tightened. The word missus hit him like a shot, sharp and precise, leaving a dull ache in its wake.

“What’s she like?” Soap asked, clearly intrigued.

Price’s expression softened as he thought about her. “She’s… everything, really. Smart, kind, funny. Keeps me on my toes.”

“She sounds like a saint, putting up with you,” Soap teased with a laugh.

Simon’s chest tightened at the word saint. The thought surfaced before he could stop it. My girl was a saint too…

He swallowed hard, his grip on the glass like a lifeline. He pictured you in his mind—your patience, your warmth, the way you’d look at him like he wasn’t the sum of his mistakes. He’d told himself a thousand times that he’d let you go for your own good, but here he was, haunted by memories he couldn’t shake.

“She is,” Price admitted with a rare smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

Simon looked away, draining his whiskey in one gulp. The burn was nothing compared to the hollow ache in his chest.

“You good?” Price asked, his tone casual but his gaze sharp.

Simon straightened, forcing himself to appear calm. “Just remembered something I’ve got to take care of.”

He stood abruptly, tossing some cash on the table. “Catch you later.”

He left before anyone could question him, stepping out into the cold night air. The sharp chill bit at his skin, but it wasn’t enough to distract him.

She was a saint, wasn’t she? The thought lingered, twisting the knife. But he didn’t deserve saints. He never had.

Manchester, UK. 2 years later, december | 9:45PM | 6°C

Christmas had arrived, cloaking the streets of Manchester in a pristine layer of snow. The world felt hushed, the crunch of Simon’s boots against the frozen ground the only sound in the quiet night. His breath puffed in soft clouds, dissolving into the still air.

He hadn’t planned to be here—hadn’t even realized where his aimless wandering had taken him until he found himself on a familiar street. The glow of your living room window caught his eye, and before he could stop himself, he was standing there, looking in.

The scene inside was alive with warmth. Golden light spilled over the living room, illuminating a Christmas tree laden with ornaments. You stood beside it, a delicate bauble in your hand, your laughter bright as it mingled with the joyous chaos of two young boys crawling around the tree.

Simon’s gaze shifted. Price was there, standing close to you, his arm resting comfortably around your waist. The easy intimacy between you spoke volumes—a language Simon once knew but had long forgotten.

His chest tightened, the ache sharp and familiar. He stood frozen, his breath catching as a memory surfaced unbidden: you, sitting beside him on a cold night like this, your hand in his as you talked about the future. A future he’d convinced himself he couldn’t give you.

Now, here it was, vivid and real—but it wasn’t his.

You turned then, your eyes meeting his through the frosted glass. The moment stretched, fragile and heavy with unspoken words. Your expression softened, a bittersweet smile forming as if you understood everything he couldn’t say.

Simon’s gloved hand brushed the glass, the chill biting through the leather. For a fleeting second, he let himself imagine what it would feel like to step inside, to join the warmth instead of watching from the cold.

But he knew better.

He nodded once, a small, almost imperceptible gesture, before stepping back. The snow crunched softly beneath his boots as he turned away, his silhouette fading into the quiet night.

The ache lingered, but as he walked, it shifted—no longer a weight that dragged him down, but something softer, bearable. You were happy. That was enough.

The falling snow blurred his footprints behind him, erasing the path he’d taken to get here. Simon didn’t look back, his lips twitching into a faint smile. For the first time in years, he felt the beginnings of peace. Because some losses, though painful, could eventually feel like victories when love found its way to where it belonged.

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vivwritescrappythings · 6 months ago

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small apologies

simon riley x afab!reader

Six months have passed since Simon took you back to his place, he wants to say he's sorry.

part one

tw: smut, mentions of suicidal actions/thoughts, depressed simon, bisexual simon, afab and fem reader, oral f!receiving, fingering, a touch of butt play, wrote this while very tired.

word count: 6.5k

masterlist

MDNI!

—

It had been nearly six months since Simon saw you.

You’d weaseled your way into his fucking brain like a parasite, the dejected look on your face haunting him.

But it was more than just that, he’d catch himself thinking about the way you fidgeted with the cardboard coaster at the pub, or how you’d stumbled over your feet to catch up with him on the way to his flat, or your fucking giggle on his front doorstep.

The worst was when he was fisting his cock in the frantic moments he could find privacy while deployed, his mind wandering back to your dulcet moans as you ground yourself against his lap. There was a wet spot on his jeans when you left—he’d shamelessly fished them out of the dirty laundry to sniff a few days later.

Johnny would’ve been disappointed in him for treating you like that.

He kept that in mind when he finally got back to his flat, dropping his bag of gear on the slightly dusty floor to see your coat hanging lonely on the hook. Of course you’d forgotten it. The way you stormed out was still clear in his mind, your retreat so rushed and hasty that he couldn’t even get a word in edgewise.

Had you really been wearing this corduroy monstrosity at the pub? You must have been so pretty that he didn’t even notice, too focused on getting you home to care.

Simon thought he’d be doing you a favor if he just tossed the thing, the rust colored jacket all frayed on the ends and missing a few buttons. It looked like a favorite coat, a little too well-loved around the edges.

He had to return it to you. Wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he didn’t. Or at least that was a decent enough excuse as any to go on a manhunt for your information. You never exchanged phone numbers… or even last names.

If he ever did manage to find you, he’d have to talk to you about being more weary of strangers. Especially strangers that looked like him—chewed up and spit out by the world.

Rifling through your pockets rewarded him with some lint, a squished piece of gum still in its paper wrapper, and a ball of crumpled receipts. Simon pushed aside the feeling of guilt associated with going through your personal things as he spread the receipts flat on his kitchen counter.

They were all from a coffee shop near the university, the order across the receipts was identical: a hazelnut latte and almond croissant.

You liked sweet things. It was fitting.

—

He showed up at that damn coffee shop dozens of times in the next week, so much so that the baristas memorized his order. Medium black coffee with just a splash of milk. The gals usually had it prepared for him by the time he made it up to the register, having recognized his wide shoulders before he even got through the glass door and the little bell announced his arrival.

The university students studying gave him odd looks, seeing him jammed behind one of the tiny tables and trying to inconspicuously watch the door. They were everywhere, laptops and textbooks spread out on the tables and seats–but none of them were you.

It took him another week of showing up at random times to muster up the courage to ask the baristas about you.

They didn’t want to tell him at first, suspicious gazes as he described you and gave them your name. How could he blame them? If anything, he should have been praising them for their willingness to keep your identity protected.

Then one of the girls from the back of the house came forward, arms folded over her apron like an accusation and sending the hand-written name tag clattering to the tile. “Wait, are you Simon?”

His scarred, blonde eyebrow raised. There was a clumsy, confused nod of his head. He hadn’t expected you to tell anyone, thought you would’ve been as embarrassed as he was about the whole thing. Probably even more embarrassed than him, to be honest.

Simon found himself impressed by how the barista stood her ground, jaw set and feet planted like she was ready for him to jump the counter and attack her. The other girls were whispering to one another, all wide-eyes and shocked expressions as they tittered. “I don’t really think she wants to see you.”

His teeth dug into his cheek, pulling his expression to one side as his dark eyes traced the grout of the tile floor.

“Just been lookin’ to apologize to her about what happened,” Simon finally admitted, awkward and uncomfortable in his attempt at honesty. One big hand came to rub at the back of his neck, feeling sweat pooling at his nape.

He’d killed people without the bat of an eye, but talking about apologizing to you made him break out in a sweat.

The silence was deafening, like he’d just set off a grenade near the cash register and they were dealing with the aftershock. The barista didn’t seem to be buying it, her weight shifting from her right side to her left as she moved her stance.

“And I’ve got her jacket. The ghastly orange one?” He sounded unsure, like he didn’t know what jacket was currently hung up next to his front door. “Thought she’d want it back, and I’ll only give it to her myself.”

Keeping your jacket as a hostage had to be a new low. He could tell you loved the coat, he figured that would be enough to convince the barista to divulge your information.

The girl sighed, rolling her eyes behind her thick-framed glasses. “She comes around nine at night, pretty much every day except weekends. You’ll catch her then, but she probably won’t want to talk to you.”

Good enough for him.

“Thanks ladies,” Simon muttered, turning and leaving without even grabbing his coffee.

—

You were tucked into a booth in the back of the shop and hunched over your laptop.

Simon had to pause for a moment, you hardly even looked like the same girl from the pub. Every stitch of makeup was gone from your face, your fancy dress had been exchanged for a soft sweater and leggings.

He found that he preferred you this way.

There was a moment of hesitation before he forced himself to approach. Your jacket was clutched in his hand, smelling like his laundry detergent.

Anxiety dripped down his spine for a moment, he didn’t realize he would be so terrified to approach you. He must be a fool to think that you would welcome him with that pretty smile of yours, your eyes flashing with the same mischief he had seen all those months ago.

But Johnny would push him to apologize, to talk to you. He wouldn’t have wanted Simon to be miserable for the rest of his life, and you’d already decided to become a permanent resident of his mind.

He ended up approaching the cash register, stalling the inevitable confrontation for a moment. “I’ll get a small black coffee and a medium hazelnut latte,” he muttered, forking over the bills in a hurry. Maybe if he came over with a coffee it would be a sort of peace offering—one of many if you didn’t outright turn him away.

With both coffees in hand and your jacket tucked under his arm, Simon finally approached you. He had to keep reminding himself that he was a soldier, he’d stared down the barrels of guns and had been buried alive, but for some reason he found you to be terrifying.

You didn’t look up from your laptop, even when he was looming over you like the grim reaper. The sound of your fingers flying over the keyboard was impressive, a near-constant stream of tapping that put his search-and-peck method to shame.

He cleared his throat, shifting his stance as you looked away from your work.

The way your expression fell when you saw him made Simon’s stomach twist into a knot.

“I was warned that you might show up,” you said, twisting a pen around your fingers as your head tilted to one side. “Didn’t think you actually had the guts.”

He winced. It was deserved, it didn’t take much self-awareness to recognize that. He continued to stand awkwardly in front of the table, unsure if you wanted him to sit down with you or were about to tell him to fuck off.

“Well, sit down, then,” you said, your gaze trailing to the booth across from you and back to Simon’s face. “Can’t have you just standing there like an oaf.”

If there was one thing Simon was excellent at, it was taking orders. His knees bumped yours under the table, making you shuffle out of the way as he set the paper coffee cup down next to your empty one. Or at least he hoped it was empty.

“Um, ‘ve got your jacket,” he said after a beat of silence, setting the orange coat on the table. You reached for it, but Simon’s big paw of a hand kept you from snatching it back. “Can we talk? For a minute?”

When did he start sounding like a miserable teenager?

You huffed, folding your hands up under your chin and resting the weight of your head on them. “Fine, Simon.” The syllables were drawn out like you were already annoyed.

He swallowed thickly, soldiering on. “Just wanted to apologize.” It came out quieter than he’d meant it to, more uncomfortable. His dark eyes were focused on the wood grain of the table, calloused fingertips tapping the coffee cup still in his hand.

You just hummed, expression flat as you looked him up and down. His jaw flexed as he took a breath. The background music in the little coffee shop was some song from a movie he half recognized, it was one Johnny had forced him to watch when they’d still been clumsily flirting, shoulders pressed together on the too-small loveseat on base.

The skin on the nape of his neck was damp when he scraped his palm across it. “I… I was havin’ a hard time, wasn’t fair to use ya like that.”

Surprise made your expression twist along with the sinking feeling in his gut. It was a stupid idea to come here and apologize—all of this for some silly crush? He needed to get his head back on his shoulders.

“So what was the hard time?” you asked, sending his train of thought off the rails. He didn’t think you’d want to know. “You and that Johnny fellow break up or something?”

A few months ago a question like that would have destroyed Simon. How could he put that his whole life ended into words? That for over a year, he wished he’d been dead in the ground with him—he just didn’t have the guts to pull the trigger when he’d actually put the gun in his mouth.

He sighed, scrubbing his hand over the lower half of his face. “He died. Killed in action.”

The way your expression sank made his heart ache. Your harsh demeanor completely changed, melting into empathy. You reached across the table toward him, your soft fingers running across the back of his hand. The feel of your skin against his made his stomach flip.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” you said, brows furrowed over your eyes. Your obvious concern was endearing, genuine despite not having to be.

His tongue clicked against his teeth as he shook his head. “Wouldn’t’ve told you if I didn’t want you to know,” he said, voice quiet. There was a level of trepidation to his words, he said didn’t want to scare you off by saying too much.

You hummed softly, nodding as you pulled your hand back. Simon had to resist the urge to grab it. He tapped his fingertips on the table top instead.

“How, um, how long were you together?” you asked, tilting your head slightly as you looked at Simon. It was kind of you to ask, most people wouldn’t want to know more about his dead boyfriend.

“Two years n’some.” He drank a sip of his coffee just to give himself something to do with his hands. “Hell, he’s been gone for almost as long as we were together.”

The realization caught Simon off guard, had two years really already passed by? He’d hardly noticed. He was barely alive for them.

“I’m really sorry,” you whispered again, leaning forward and resting your elbows on the table. You took a sip of the hazelnut latte he bought you as you looked at him over the rim. He was entranced when you licked the foam off your upper lip.

Simon just shrugged. “S’part of the job, we both knew that,” he muttered, looking down at the table for a moment. The hanging silence made his skin crawl. “He was my best friend, too, ya know? Even before we were together and everythin’—he just knew all there was to know about me.”

You listened intently while he rambled about his relationship with Johnny, sipping your coffee and genuinely paying attention. Simon couldn’t recall the last time someone actually listened to him like this, at least someone he wasn’t paying to do it. He found himself choking up when he had to catch his breath.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you blurted, a kind attempt to spare him from having to spill his emotions to you. He wanted to thank you for trying. “You apologized, I accept. It’s really alright. You didn’t have to apologize at all.”

But he did.

“Nah, doll, thought about you too much afterward to not apologize.” There it was again, that surprised look on your face. Whatever image of him you had, he wanted to erase it from your mind forever. “You took up a damn residence in my head while I was deployed, really pissed me off for a while.”

The corner of your mouth twitched with the threat of a smile.The change of subject breathed life back into the conversation, both of you taking a deep breath. He fixated on it, dark brown eyes staring at your lips long enough that he would have burned a hole through it.

“Took up a residence in your head? Is it a flat or more of a bedsit?” you asked, a hint of mischief flashing in your eyes.

Simon chuckled, shaking his head to himself. “A damn villa, actually,” he corrected, running a hand through his choppy haircut. The amount of brain space you’d been taking up lately was embarrassing.

You snorted, the sound nearly making his heart stop. He watched you fold a napkin into smaller and smaller triangles as you looked at him, chipped nail polish catching the light. “Sounds pretty nice, can’t say I ever stayed in a villa before,” you quipped.

His laugh sounded like a bark, harsh and deep. “Well you practically own the place now, doll, so you better enjoy it,” he said, taking a drink of his now lukewarm coffee.

You rolled your eyes playfully, resting your chin in the palm of your hand and letting your elbow dig into the tabletop. “So Simon, what brought you here? I know it can’t just be that I was on your mind,” you said, the smile you’d been starting to sport fading.

The fact that you could see through him like that caught him off guard. Simon spread his big hands flat on the table, pressing his fingertips against the wood veneer as he considered his answer. “My shrink n’I talked about it a lot,” he finally muttered.

If he hadn’t been trying to bore a hole through the table with his eyes he would’ve seen your eyebrows tick up in surprise. “A shrink? You decided to see a therapist?”

A half smile formed on his face, his eyes still downturned from yours. Hearing your shock was enough. “Court mandated,” he supplemented, glancing at you for a moment before looking away again. “Busted up some guys pretty good for harassing people outside a gay pub couple months ago, got off easy.”

“Well aren’t you a good samaritan,” you said, not even mentioning that he was at a gay pub. He didn’t know why he expected you to fixate on that more.

“Try my best,” he mumbled, blushing at the compliment. He couldn’t look away from you for too long, wanting to see every expression you made like it was his last chance. And it very well might’ve been his last chance, it would be easy for you to take your jacket back and shoo him off.

There was something in your expression that made his breath catch in his throat. The sparkle in your eye looked like you were going to forgive him, and he realized he was ready to do anything to be absolved of his sins by your gentle hand.

The sound of a chair being flipped upside down and put on a table made him flinch, snapping the two of you out of it as the baristas started to close up shop. He’d never been more aggravated in his life than when he watched the baristas start their closing duties.

“Oh, didn’t realize it was so late,” you said, frantically starting to pack your things into the backpack on the seat next to you.

Simon swallowed, Adam’s Apple bobbing beneath his skin. “Guess time got away from us.”

He walked out behind you like a guard dog, hot on your heels and towering over you as you stood on the sidewalk. The glow coming from the coffee shop window lit you up in yellows and oranges, softening you like an oil painting.

“Thanks… for bringing my jacket back,” you said, sounding a touch awkward as you looked up at him. You had the orange jacket folded over your forearm.

He nodded, a soft grunt of acknowledgment coming from his chest. “Didn’t fit me when I tried it on, so I figured I’d give it back.”

You laughed, shaking your head. The weight of your gaze dragged up from his heavy black boots to his shaggy crop of blonde hair. “Well, have a good night, Simon,” you murmured, taking a step back from him. You said it low and quiet, moving away from him slowly.

He didn’t see car keys or anything on you, and he didn’t like the idea of you taking the tram so late and by yourself. “How are ya getting home?” he asked, stepping forward toward you.

You paused your retreat. “I was gonna walk, s’only twenty minutes from here.” You pointed in some direction.

Simon crossed his arms over his chest. Making you walk at night? That wouldn’t do.

“My car’s parked right there, I can drive you,” he said, his voice hardly leaving room for argument. But thankfully you just nodded and accepted, following him to the car parked on the curb.

“Thanks, Simon,” you murmured, eyes stuck on him as you wedged past him to clamber in the passenger seat, your backpack between your feet.

“For you? S’not a problem,” he assured you, letting the door snap closed with a click.

—

Simon parked outside of your flat, the two of you looking at the porch light that you told him had gone out. He busied himself with studying your profile, the slope of your nose and the pout of your lips. It took every ounce of self control to not reach out and turn you for a kiss.

He was such an idiot to tell you not to kiss him the first time.

“So…” you trailed off, turning to look at him. The way you tilted your head betrayed how conflicted you felt. “Even though I would like to invite you inside so you could start your real apology, I think I’ll have to wait for you to ask me on a proper date.”

His heart thumped—he really wanted to go inside with you.

The hope of tasting your deliciously wet cunt had kept him going through his last deployment, the thought of hearing you moan his name. Simon had to adjust how he was sitting.

“I can do a proper date,” he said, a thick arm stretching across the console to grasp the back of your seat. “Pick ya up, go out for a meal.”

He’d probably do anything you asked. Devotion was something that came easy to him, he could already feel the need to satisfy your every want rising in his mind.

“Yeah?” you asked, a ghost of a smile pulling your lip. It was almost as if you’d expected him to deny you.

How could he deny you anything?

“Yeah, doll,” he confirmed, a steadfast nod of his head that sent some of his blonde hair onto his forehead. “Take you anywhere, just gotta tell me.”

Your face scrunched up a bit in the dim light in the car, nose wrinkling as you looked up at him from the passenger seat. Then you were leaning over the console, a hand fisting in the dark fabric of his coat and yanking him down toward you.

Simon acquiesced, letting his spine curve as you pulled him in. “You gonna let me kiss you this time?” you asked, your faces only a few centimeters away from one another at this point.

Your breaths mingled together, just a little movement forward and he’d finally feel your soft lips against his scarred ones.

The scars on his face didn’t ever seem to bother you, even when you first met at the pub. You looked at his scarred face and slightly crooked nose and talked to him anyways. Went home with him anyways.

“Course, d’be daft not to,” he grumbled, dark eyes skirting down to your lips for a moment. You smirked, eyes flashing with your triumph.

Simon closed the space between you two, lips slanting over yours.

He didn’t think he’d ever feel alive again, but kissing you made him reconsider.

You made a soft surprised sound against his mouth before relaxing into it, your hands finding his jacket collar and tugging him even closer. He hardly noticed the console pressing against his thigh and stomach as he twisted over it, one paw of a hand finding the soft plush of your thigh beneath the leggings.

The kiss quickly became heated, tongues and teeth meeting as your fingers twisted into the short locks of blonde hair at the nape of his neck. Simon could crack your ribs open and swallow you whole, his hands grabbing at the curve of your waist and the flesh of your ass as he tried to feel as much of you as he could.

You didn’t deny him, twisting in your seat as much as you could. He groped you like some pathetic teenager, licking into your mouth as his hands squeezed at your breasts through the thick knit of your sweater and skimmed dangerously far up between your thighs.

“Simon,” you breathed as he trailed his lips along your jaw and to your neck. He was being greedy, taking more than you originally agreed to give. It felt like life had been breathed back into his corpse and he couldn’t let it go.

He hummed against the column of your throat. “Just let me start my apology,” Simon murmured, his deep voice even tougher than normal. His fingers traced the tight elastic waistband of your leggings, delighting in the feeling of the layer of pudge pressing above them.

“Simon… someone will see.” More of a whine than actually telling him to stop. You tilted your head to give him more access to the delicate skin of your throat, making him smile against your throat.

“A small apology,” he mumbled, squeezing your inner thighs with a hand. “No one will see, promise.”

It earned him a whimper, your legs spreading so Simon could fit his hand between them. He flattened the meat of his palm against your pubic bone, long fingers stretching back to cup your cunt through the thin layers of your leggings and panties. Heat radiated off you onto his hand.

You sighed, fingers tightening their grip on his hair. “What if someone walks by?” He could appreciate the slight tremble of anxiety in your tone.

“Back seat windows are tinted, that better?” he asked against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, laving his tongue over the skin. His other hand had snaked up the hem of your sweater and was pawing at the curve of your waist.

You hummed, nodding quickly. Simon didn’t realize how fast he ushered you over the center console and into the back seat until you were careening over it and tumbling into the leather upholstery. He smirked, taking the opportunity to grab a handful of your plush ass that made you burst out in a giggle and swat at his hand.

Adrenaline was already buzzing through him as he got up to get out of the car—there was no way he could fit over the console even if he wanted to. He made sure to push the front seat all the way forward so he had somewhere to put his legs.

Getting in was a clumsy thing, he hit his head on the roof of the car as he planted his knees into the leather seat. He grunted, rubbing his forehead with a hand as he bent down further. Twisting to close the door was a mess, leading to you giggling as he finally was able to reach the handle and yank it shut.

“Oh, y’think that’s funny?” Simon asked you, a wolfish grin on his face as he set his sights on you.

You looked so sweet and cute, a hand pressed over your mouth as you snickered and your eyes flashing with a bit of mischief. The little shake of your head was too adorable for words, only making his smile grow even wider.

He liked this playful side of you, it felt like the two of you hadn’t been able to let go of the seriousness of your last encounter.

“That’s it, doll.” Simon felt like a monster shoved in here with you, taking up all the extra space in the back seat as he reached for you. Big hands curled around the tops of your thighs and yanked you toward him.

You squeaked a laugh as you landed on your back. He was already crowding in, pressing you nearly in half on the seat as he bullied his way into your personal space.

The feeling of your fingertips running through his short hair made him groan. He almost didn’t know what to do with you—you were so soft compared to him, he was worried he would break you without meaning to.

His mouth found yours in the dark, the softness of your lips molding to his without effort. You moaned into the kiss, pulling him in by the nape of his neck.

A big hand planted on the leather seat next to your head, holding the weight of his body off you as he hungrily licked into your mouth. He just couldn’t help himself, he was too greedy to stop.

His other hand snapped the waistband of your leggings against the soft skin of your stomach, making your breath hitch—but you didn’t stop him.

The elastic was tight as he pushed his fingers beneath it, the soft layer of pudge on your belly squishing as he did. He shifted his weight back to his knees, breaking the kiss as he yanked your leggings and panties down in one smooth motion.

“Simon!” you yelped, eyes wide as you looked at him.

He was hardly paying attention, pushing your knees to your chest. His big hands braced on the backs of your thighs, the mess of your underwear and leggings rucked up just enough that he could see all of you.

If you told him his tongue lolled out like some cheesy cartoon, Simon wouldn’t have been surprised. You had the prettiest cunt he ever saw: slick and puffy—she was already drooling for him.

“Jesus, doll,” he grunted, dark eyes still focused at the apex of your thighs. “You’re just as pretty down here, aren’t you?”

You made a strangled noise, one of your hands grabbing at his and wrapping around his ring and pinky finger. “You’re being ridiculous,” you whined, still not telling him to fuck off or to stop.

He chuckled, feeling his mouth watering as he imagined diving between your legs. “Just want to apologize to her for neglecting her last time, can I do that?” he asked you, voice low and gruff.

Your thighs trembled under his hands, trying to squeeze together. He swore he saw a bit more slick trickle out of you, running down your perineum and pooling in your puckered asshole. God, he’d give anything to taste you.

But you hadn’t said anything yet. The silence felt like it was sucking the air out of the car. He suddenly felt enormous and ungainly, the fear that you didn’t want this sending a chill down his spine.

“Y-yeah,” you finally breathed, your voice breathy and high.

Relief breathed back into his body, a smile tugging at his lip. “Yeah?” he repeated, already maneuvering so he was almost level with your pussy. He pressed wet kisses against the backs of your thighs and felt you squirm.

“Shit, please,” you ended up whining, sounding wrecked already. Simon’s heart skipped a beat, not believing that you were so needy you were already begging him.

“Calm down.” He licked the words into the puffy lips of your pussy. Before he knew it, he coaxed them open with his crooked nose and was glistening from nose to chin. It still didn’t feel like enough, he was selfish, he needed to be drowning in you.

You were the opposite of calm, legs straining against his hands and hips rutting up toward his face after the first touch. He loved how responsive you were, mewling and whining and fucking soaking wet for him. It’s everything he could do to keep his head on his shoulders and not try to unhinge his jaw to swallow you whole.

All he could smell or taste was you, a heady mix of sweat and sweetness and musk that was all you. It pulled him in, desperate to drink as much of you as possible.

Your thighs spread as much as they could with your leggings around your knees, giving Simon just enough space to jam the bump along the bridge of his nose against your clit. He would let you break his nose again if you wanted to.

He felt delirious. Of course, he’d been with other women before you and had eaten them out, but Johnny was the only person he really felt devotion for. Yet here he was, brain blissfully devoid of a thought that didn’t pertain to you and your pleasure.

Devotion was a feeling Simon missed.

He moaned into your pussy, tongue laving over you without rhyme or reason for a few moments in an attempt to taste every part of you. You squirmed under him, whining beautifully as his big hands pushing down on your thighs pinned you to the leather seat.

Anyone who dared look into the car would get a show, you nearly bent in half beneath him, his big form curled over you and contorted so much that his left leg was starting to go numb. He hardly noticed.

“Simon!” you gasped. He was rock hard in his jeans, almost painfully stiff against his zipper as his tongue lapped at your fluttering hole. You whimpered as you let your head fall back against the seat, pushing your cunt against his face.

He squeezed your thighs, wanting to unzip his jeans and take himself in his hand while he feasted on you. But he didn’t want to let go. The feel of your soft skin and soft flesh under his hands was heavenly, fingers kneading into the soft squish of your thighs as he speared his tongue into you.

If he stretched his fingers far enough, one hand could press both your legs back and free the other to explore you. It was too tempting to pet your pretty asshole with the calloused pad of his thumb, a self-satisfied groan pulling out of him at the sound of your squeal.

You gushed on his tongue.

He smiled into your pussy, teeth lightly nudging the swollen bud of your clit for a moment before he dove back in with his tongue. You kept trying to move, legs straining against the width of his hand as you twisted your sweater in your fingers.

A mix of slick and his saliva dripped down from your soaked cunt, pooling against his thumb as it circled the tight ring of muscle. The unhinged part of him wanted to force your legs so far back so the small of your spine lifted off the seat, opening you up so he could press his mouth between your cheeks. The thought of how you’d cry out made him groan against you.

But he left that for another day, part of his grand apology to you in the future.

Simon’s jaw ached, mouth open and tongue fucking into you. The way you cried made him keep going, he wanted to keep hearing you. The tight sound of your whining devolved into something delightfully wet and raw, the little hitches of your breath and hiccups told him that you were crying.

Satisfied with how much he stretched you on your tongue, he pressed his index and middle fingers into your sodden cunt. The feel of you squeezing his fingers made him moan, his mouth moving upward to suckle at your clit.

He was desperate to make you come, wanted to feel you falling apart on his fingers and tongue so he could put you back together.

You whimpered as Simon’s bicep tensed, making his fingers vibrate inside you. He sealed his lips around your clit, sucking it into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. It was almost hard to focus, his cock so hard that it ached as he devoured you like a starving man.

“Simon,” you breathed, your voice sounding wet as you spoke, “m’gonna come.”

If there was a way to increase his efforts, he did. He twisted his fingers inside of you as they plunged back and forth, rubbing along every ridge inside you as your cunt clutched at him. He was almost frantic, tongue swirling over your clit in firm circles as his dark eyes squeezed shut.

You moaned, legs trembling against the restraint of his hand as you made needy little noises. He felt lightheaded, starving as the wet squelch of his fingers pressing your gummy walls filled his ears.

Then your breaths heaved, a gasp of his name escaping your lips as your body pulled taut like a bow. Simon didn’t relent, drinking down the sweet nectar of your slick. He was so greedy, not letting a drop escape at the expense of your sensitivity as your orgasm rocked through your body.

He didn’t pull away despite the desperation in your whines and grunted curses, curling his fingers into your spongey pussy and lapping at your clit with his flattened tongue. You were so tight that it felt like you would take his fingers clean off, your pussy pulling him in.

The way you sobbed was pure sin, legs kicking desperately against his hold.

Your back broke on a cry, arching off the leather seat as you came for a second time. He could feel you clumsily reaching for him, pushing him away from your oversensitive cunt as you whimpered.

Simon acquiesced, pulling away as he licked his lips.

Pride surged through him as he partially sat up, letting your legs go. You looked absolutely wrecked, eyes hazy and tears streaked down your cheeks. Your chest was heaving beneath your sweater as you looked up at the ceiling of the car.

He palmed his hard cock through his jeans, grunting softly at the much-needed friction. He had to get a hold of himself before he begged to fuck you out here in his car like a teenager.

“My god,” you sighed, wiping a hand over your face as you looked up at the roof. Your eyes were wide and hazy, stroking Simon’s ego.

A big paw of a hand rubbed up and down your thigh, moving from hip to where your leggings were still tangled around your knees. “S’my apology accepted?” Simon asked, his voice thick as he took deep breaths.

You giggled, propping yourself up on an elbow so you could properly look at him. Your eyes were almost black with arousal, your pupils spread so wide they looked like drops of ink in water. “Yeah, I think it was a pretty thorough one,” you teased, a smirk on your face as you lightly shoved his shoulder.

It took you a few more minutes to gather yourself, even breaths returning to your body as you slowly sat up again. You managed to maneuver your leggings back on, reaching over the seat for your overstuffed backpack.

“So a proper date, right?” you asked, glancing down at the bulge at the front of his jeans before you looked back up at him. He expected no less from you, your stubbornness making him want to kiss you.

He nodded, swallowing thickly as he tried to formulate a response. “Yeah, doll. I can take you to dinner tomorrow–seven o’clock?”

You’re nodding and kissing his cheek before he could react. You opened the passenger side door, a blast of cool air hitting him like a jolt of electricity as he straightened up.

“See you tomorrow, Simon!” you chirped brightly as though you hadn’t just been bent in half in the back seat of his car, the door slamming shut behind you as you jogged up the walk and disappeared into your flat.

Simon chuckled to himself, shamelessly smelling his slick-soaked fingers as he wrestled himself into a sitting position in the back seat. His head rolled back against the headrest, dark eyes focused on the ceiling as he laughed in earnest for the first time in a while.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt excited at the concept of another day, but he already found himself counting down the minutes until tomorrow.

#simon riley x female reader #simon riley x you #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost cod #cod x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty #tf 141 #simon is a munch sorry

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brewed-pangolin · 8 months ago

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Tumblr deleted the ask because it's stupid, but to the sweet anon who requested Gym Rat Soap on the first night, this is for you.

MDNI 18+ just some unedited possessive Gym Rat Soap mumbo jumbo

cw: mentions of alcohol

Poor overly possessive Gym Rat Soap Johnny, who stakes his claim to you the first time you let him let him come inside you.

It all started with an innocent night out with the boys. Hitting up the local pub to rid the worries of the week away with a few strong brews down the gullet.

And those countless pints proved to be your downfall in the end. Latching onto him, losing yourself in the melodic brogue of his voice as he whispered the most tumultuous poetry into your ear.

Elegantly sinful promises laden with whisky fueled intent, the gentle brushing of his stubble against your cheek making your legs quiver as you imagined his mouth entangled with your most intimate lips.

It didn't take long to pull him away into the back seat of an unsuspecting Uber. His hands greedily clawed at your hips as you apologized profusely to the driver for the improper scene playing out in the backseat.

Still, the indecent show in public was nothing compared to the ravishing he bestowed upon you behind closed doors. Barely making it through the front door as he began to frantically tear off your risqué yet fruitless choice of apparel.

"Where ya wanna start, hen? The kitchen, or the living room?"

You barely had time to breathe before he swung your naked form over his shoulder. A thunderous laugh echoing from his chest as he planted a firm smack on your ass. Stomping up the steps towards the bedroom as you mentally prepared yourself for the vigorous workout he was about to put you through.

He shamelessly tossed you onto the bed, a wicked smile curling into the corners of his lips as your breasrts bounced from the force of the impact.

"Tell me bonnie, ya been workin' on your yoga? Jus' like I told ya to?"

The mischievous glint in his eyes matched the dark tone of possessive desire in his voice. Forcing you to comply with his demand, nodding your head as the capacity for speech all but abandoned you.

"Aye. Good lass. Gonnae need ya ta center yerslef as I wreck this pretty little cunt a'yers."

You didn't protest as he proceeded to break you in the most beautiful way possible. Losing count at how many times he brought you to oblivion only to push your further as he neared his own blissful undoing.

You came home a few days later with a duffle bag and worn boots meeting you at the door. A half-naked mohawk crested man rummaging around the kitchen as he deftly put together a delectable feast upon the stove.

"Um, Johnny? What are you doing?" A perplexed expression formed into the contours of your face as he turned to meet your questioning gaze.

"Wha'? Cannae make my bonnie some dinner?"

Your eyes narrowed at him, trying to piece together the scheme he was shamelessly putting together.

"Dinner's fine, Soap. But what's with the bag?"

"Hm. Aye. There is that."

Soap turned around, coursing his arms over his broad chest with a crooked smile. His cerulean eyes roaming you up and down like a predator stalking it prey, poised to leap at any moment.

"Already signed the lease, lass. Might as well start moving in."

"What do you mean, signed the lease?"

It took you no more than five minutes to piece together his housewarming innuendo. Aided only by a swift encore as he threw you down and bent you over the kitchen table, implementing his down-payment as he thrusted another load deep into the welcoming walls of your cunt.

Gym Rat Soap Masterlist

#soap squad™️#gym rat soap #hes such a menace #i love him #i am not liable for my actions right now #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #soap smut #call of duty #cod

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p0orbaby · 2 months ago

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Why Do I Give You the Worst of Me (1)

summary: love and bad decisions collide as you struggle to balance a tour and a relationship that’s spiraling out of control

warnings: 18+ adult themes throughout

a/n: another series i’m hoping i don’t regret committing myself to… not sure how many parts it’ll be, i don’t plan anything

word count: 3.1k

You wake up face-first on a sofa that smells like cigarettes, spilled beer, and faintly, vomit. Not yours, you think. The synthetic fabric is scratchy against your cheek, and when you open your eyes, it takes a moment to realise it’s morning—sunlight cutting through the cracked blinds, striping the floor with dusty light. The sofa is mustard yellow, ugly in a deliberate, trying-too-hard-to-be-retro way. It doesn’t belong to you. Nothing in this flat belongs to you.

There’s a girl in the kitchen, humming softly to herself as she pours cereal into a bowl. You don’t know her name, but you know she wears Chanel No. 5 because it’s all you could smell last night when she leaned too close, whispering something you didn’t quite catch. Her hair’s a mess now—like spun gold caught in a tangle of barbed wire—but her makeup is still pristine. She’s the kind who sets her eyeliner with setting spray before going out, even if it’s just to the pub. You admire the commitment, if not the execution.

Your head throbs—a deep, insistent ache behind your eyes that reminds you of last night in bits and pieces: the gig (decent, though the sound guy fucked up your monitor levels), the afterparty (loud, sweaty, a haze of bodies and smoke), the lines of coke on a chipped coffee table, the bartender who kept giving you free shots because he recognised you from that NME interview last month. At some point, someone tried to fight you, though you’re not sure why. You vaguely remember smashing a bottle of tequila against a wall and laughing as glass shards rained down like confetti.

You roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling, which is peeling in a way that suggests years of neglect, a building held together more by stubbornness than actual structural integrity. There’s a stain in the corner that looks suspiciously like mould, but you don’t care enough to investigate. The flat isn’t yours, after all. You were invited here by someone whose name escapes you now—a bassist from another band, or maybe it was their girlfriend? They’re gone this morning, anyway, leaving behind only the detritus of a night well-lived: empty bottles, crushed cigarette packets, a single black stiletto abandoned near the door like a fairy-tale gone wrong.

You light a cigarette, despite the pounding in your head and the fact that you’re pretty sure it’s technically illegal to smoke indoors here. The girl in the kitchen glances at you but doesn’t say anything. You’re not sure if she’s annoyed or indifferent; you don’t care. The smoke curls lazily toward the ceiling, and for a moment, you let yourself enjoy the quiet. Mornings like this are rare—where everything is still and soft, where the chaos of your life is temporarily held at bay by the thin walls of someone else’s flat.

Your bass is propped up against the armchair, scratched and battered in a way that tells a story if you care to look closely enough. It’s a Fender Precision, black with a white pickguard, the same model Sid Vicious used to play—not that you’d ever admit that’s why you bought it. The neck has a gouge near the third fret from when you threw it at a sound tech who deserved it (and missed). The strap is leather, worn smooth where it rests on your shoulder, and the bridge still has flecks of blood from the time you played so hard your fingers split open mid-song. You keep meaning to clean it, but you never do.

You check your phone, which is cracked and sticky with something you don’t want to identify. No new messages, except for a text from your drummer that reads: “u alive?” You don’t bother replying.

You’ve been in the band for five years now, though it feels longer. It started as a joke—a group of friends fucking around in someone’s garage, trying to see who could play the loudest, the fastest, the most obnoxious. Somewhere along the way, it became serious. There was a DIY EP, recorded in one manic weekend on borrowed gear, and a string of gigs in dingy pubs where the audiences were more interested in drinking than listening. Then came the break—a slot supporting a bigger band, one of those industry darlings who’d already started to hate themselves for selling out. The kind of band that wears matching outfits ironically, even though everyone knows it’s not ironic at all.

Now, you play sold-out shows to crowds who scream your lyrics back at you, though most of them probably couldn’t name your second album. Your face has been on the cover of Kerrang! twice, though you didn’t bother reading the articles. You hate interviews, but you do them anyway because your manager insists. You’re better at the photoshoots—smirking at the camera in a way that suggests you don’t care (you do).

The band is your life, though you wouldn’t call it that. Calling it your life makes it sound like you have some sort of plan, and you don’t. You’re just here, playing gigs and writing songs and doing whatever it takes to keep the wheels from falling off.

Your bandmates are a mixed bag of personalities, each one a walking caricature in their own way. There’s Matt, the drummer, who swears he’s been abducted by aliens and won’t shut up about it. Alex, the lead guitarist, is constantly high and insists on bringing his cat on tour, which you find deeply annoying. And then there’s Holly, the singer, who somehow manages to be both the most chaotic and the most responsible member of the group. She’s the one who organises rehearsals, books the studio time, and keeps you all from self-destructing entirely. You love her for it, even if you’d never say it out loud.

The girl in the kitchen finishes her cereal, rinses the bowl, and leaves without saying goodbye. You watch her go, not because you care but because there’s nothing else to do. When the door slams shut, the flat feels even smaller, like the walls are pressing in on you. You stub out your cigarette, grab your bass, and leave too.

Outside, London is already alive, though you wouldn’t call it awake. The streets are sticky from last night—spilled pints and kebab wrappers crushed into the pavement, cigarette butts floating in puddles of something that smells suspiciously like piss. The air has that distinct urban flavour: exhaust fumes mingling with fryer grease and the faint tang of wet concrete. You pull your leather jacket tighter around you, not because it’s cold (it is), but because it completes the look.

The jacket is vintage—or at least you tell people it is. In reality, you bought it at a high-street shop three years ago, and it’s held up surprisingly well, considering the abuse it’s endured. The lining is torn, the cuffs are frayed, and there’s a mysterious stain on the back you can’t quite place. But it’s yours, and it feels like armour. The boots, on the other hand, are real vintage: a pair of Dr Martens from the ‘90s you found in a thrift shop in Brighton. They’re scuffed to hell, and the left one squeaks when you walk, but you refuse to replace them because they’re authentic.

You head toward the Tube station, your bass slung over one shoulder like a soldier carrying a rifle. People stare, but only briefly. In London, no one has the energy to care for long. The morning commuters are a mix of suits and students, their faces blank, their eyes glazed over as they clutch takeaway coffees in one hand and their phones in the other. You feel out of place but also weirdly superior, like you’ve cracked some code they haven’t even realised exists yet.

You hop on the Northern line, ignoring the signs that politely request passengers to “refrain from eating or drinking.” You’re not eating or drinking, but you do pull out a cigarette, which is arguably worse. It’s a roll-up, so you convince yourself it doesn’t count. An old woman glares at you, clutching her handbag like she thinks you’re about to mug her. You offer her a crooked smile, which she does not return, and you put the cigarette back in your pocket because she reminds you of your nan.

The train screeches into motion, and you pull out your phone. The lock screen is a photo of your bass, which says a lot about you. There are a few notifications—mostly spam emails and an unread message from Holly: Rehearsal at 2. Don’t be late, dickhead.

You glance at the time. 11:47 a.m. Plenty of time.

The rehearsal space is in Camden, a dingy basement that smells of mildew and unwashed socks. The walls are lined with egg cartons painted black in a half-hearted attempt at soundproofing, and the floor is sticky for reasons you’d rather not think about. The room has seen better days—probably in the ‘80s, when it was still a nightclub and not a haven for struggling musicians. There’s a single fluorescent bulb overhead that flickers ominously, and a space heater in the corner that’s never worked.

Holly is already there when you arrive, tuning her guitar with the precision of someone who takes this far more seriously than you do. She’s wearing a denim jacket covered in patches for bands you’ve never heard of, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She looks up as you walk in, her expression equal parts exasperation and relief.

“Christ, you smell like an ashtray,” she says, wrinkling her nose.

“It’s called branding,” you reply, dropping your bass onto the floor with a thud.

Matt and Alex show up ten minutes later, looking even worse than you do. Matt has the kind of face that always looks slightly hungover, even when he’s not, and Alex is wearing the same shirt he wore yesterday, now with an impressive new stain across the front.

The rehearsal starts late, as it always does, and quickly descends into chaos. Matt insists on playing a drum solo during every song, despite the fact that no one asked for it. Alex keeps stopping mid-riff to check his phone, claiming he’s “waiting for an important call,” though everyone knows it’s just his dealer. Holly shouts at both of them until her voice cracks, then turns her frustration on you for being “completely fucking useless.” You take it in stride, plucking random notes on your bass and pretending to care.

At some point, Holly storms out, leaving the three of you to your own devices. Matt immediately pulls out a joint, which Alex lights with a lighter shaped like a naked woman. You lean back against the wall, your bass resting against your thigh, and watch as they argue over which fast-food place to hit up after rehearsal.

“McDonald’s is closer,” Alex says, taking a drag.

“But KFC’s got the gravy,” Matt counters, waving his arms for emphasis.

“It’s not even real gravy,” Alex snaps.

“None of it’s real,” you interject, flicking ash onto the floor. “We’re all just cogs in the capitalist machine.”

They stare at you for a moment, then go back to arguing.

By the time rehearsal ends, it’s dark outside. You pack up your gear, ignoring Holly’s death glare as she reminds you for the millionth time that you need to take this more seriously. You nod, mumble something about “artistic integrity,” and leave before she can yell at you again.

Back on the street, the air is crisp, the kind of cold that bites at your skin and makes you wish you’d brought a scarf. You light another cigarette, even though you’ve already smoked half a pack today, and head toward the pub.

The pub is your sanctuary, a place where time slows down and the only thing that matters is the next round. It’s a dive, the kind of place where the carpet sticks to your shoes and the jukebox is permanently stuck on a rotation of The Clash and The Smiths. You know the bartender by name, though you’re not sure if he knows yours.

You order a pint and settle into a corner booth, your bass case propped up beside you. The first sip is like a warm hug, washing away the stress of the day. You’re halfway through your second pint when you see her.

You don’t notice her at first. Not properly. She’s part of the blur—the dim bar lights catching on glasses, the low hum of half-drunken conversation, the vague sense that you’ve been here before even if you haven’t. She’s leaning against the counter, waiting for her drink, and it’s not until the bartender—a man whose name might be Pete but who you’re pretty sure is just “Oi, mate” to everyone who comes in—hands her a gin and tonic that you actually see her.

And it’s a gin and tonic. Not a lager, not a rum and coke, not something ironic like a snakebite or one of those craft beers with names like Hops and Robbers. It’s a G&T, clean and crisp, with a slice of lime balanced on the rim like it’s posing for a stock photo. The glass is crystal clear, and so are her nails—short, practical, painted the sort of soft pink that suggests she doesn’t chew them during stressful moments (unlike you). She takes the drink with both hands, like she’s steadying herself, and there’s something about that—the deliberateness of it—that hooks you.

You tell yourself you’re just looking because she’s there. Because it’s either her or the guy at the next table who’s been droning on about Bitcoin for twenty minutes straight. But it’s more than that. There’s a stillness to her, an odd kind of clarity that doesn’t fit in a place like this, like she’s wandered in from a parallel universe.

She turns slightly, and you catch her profile: sharp nose, strong jawline, cheekbones that could cut glass but probably wouldn’t because she seems far too polite. Her hair is blonde—not platinum, not peroxide, but the kind of natural gold that makes you think of expensive shampoo and childhood summers. It’s tied back loosely, wisps framing her face in a way that seems accidental but probably isn’t.

She’s not wearing makeup. Or maybe she is, but it’s the invisible kind—the kind that takes forty-five minutes to apply but looks like you’ve just rolled out of bed looking flawless. Her jumper is navy, oversized enough to suggest she might have nicked it from someone else’s wardrobe, paired with jeans that sit perfectly at her hips without being skinny. On her feet are white trainers—clean, like freshly ironed bedsheets—Adidas, the classic three stripes in black, laces tied neatly, no fraying ends.

You’re staring. You know you are. But she hasn’t noticed, so it doesn’t count.

The bartender mutters something to her, and she laughs. Not the loud, performative laugh you hear from most people in bars, but something softer, like it’s meant for her and her alone. The sound is so out of place in this dingy pub that it feels almost sacrilegious, like someone’s brought a cathedral choir to sing in a nightclub.

You tell yourself to look away. You don’t.

Instead, you light a cigarette, even though the pub is strictly non-smoking. You do it for the aesthetic, the same way you do most things. There’s a half-empty pint in front of you—lager, flat and warm, probably with someone else’s fingerprints on the glass—but you take a sip anyway, because what else are you going to do?

She turns then, her gaze sweeping the room, and you’re caught like a deer in headlights. For a second, you think she’s looking at you, but she’s not. She’s looking past you, at the dartboard on the wall behind your head. Her expression is curious, like she’s trying to figure out why anyone would bother playing darts in a place like this.

Then her eyes meet yours, and the world tilts.

It’s not love at first sight, not really. Love at first sight is for Disney films and Hallmark cards and people who shop at Waitrose without looking at the prices. This is something else. Recognition, maybe. Like you’ve seen her before in a dream or a half-remembered story someone told you once. Like you’ve spent your whole life waiting for this moment without knowing it.

She holds your gaze for a second longer than is polite. Then she looks away, back at her gin and tonic, and you realise you’ve been holding your breath.

You don’t approach her right away. That would be too obvious, too predictable. Instead, you wait, watching her out of the corner of your eye while pretending to scroll through your phone. It’s a shitty phone, cracked and outdated, but you’ve never bothered upgrading because you secretly enjoy the low expectations it sets. No one looks at you and expects success when your phone screen is held together with Sellotape.

She moves to a table in the corner, near the radiator, and sits down alone. No book, no laptop, no visible excuse to be here other than the gin and tonic in her hand. She sips it slowly, methodically, like she’s savouring it. Like she’s savouring this.

You wonder what her story is.

Is she waiting for someone? A friend, a boyfriend, a clandestine meeting with a lover? Or is she just one of those people who can sit alone in public without feeling like a target? You’ve never understood that kind of confidence—the kind that lets you exist without an audience, without a role to play.

You take another sip of your pint, then decide, fuck it.

You stand, grab your bass (because leaving it behind would feel like abandoning a child), and make your way across the room. Your boots squeak against the sticky floor, and you curse them under your breath. She looks up as you approach, her expression unreadable.

“Mind if I join you?” you ask, gesturing vaguely at the empty chair across from her.

She hesitates, just for a moment, then nods.

“Sure.”

Her voice is soft, but not shy. Measured. Like she’s weighing every word before she says it.

You sit, placing your bass case carefully against the table leg. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You’re not sure what to say, and she seems content to let the silence stretch. It’s not uncomfortable, exactly, but it’s not easy, either.

Finally, she breaks it.

“You’re in a band,” she says, nodding toward the bass. It’s not a question.

You smile. “Yeah. What gave it away?”

She raises an eyebrow, and you realise it’s a stupid question.

“What’s the band called?”

You tell her, and she nods, like she’s vaguely heard of it but couldn’t name a single song.

“I’m Alessia,” she says, holding out her hand. Her grip is firm, her skin warm.

“Nice to meet you,” you reply, and for the first time in a long time, you actually mean it.

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #awfc #awfc x reader #engwnt #engwnt x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso community

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scribblesofagoonerr · 6 months ago

Text

— the haunting nightmares of the past | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

here's a piece of angst for you all to read.

thanks to @alotofpockets for her help a long the way with this one.

summary: the anniversary of monkey's dad's death causes a lot of bad memories of the past to resurface.

pairings: leah williamson x reader!monkey x jordan nobbs x reader!buddy

warnings: talks of past childhood abuse and a lot of heavy angst

"Happy birthday to me," You whispered to yourself, your small voice barely audible over the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

You sat alone at the table, a card propped up in front of you that had been given to you by a kind elderly lady who lived next door when you returned home from school.

You jumped in fear as you heard the front door slam shut, feeling yourself tremble as his footsteps neared.

"Make yourself useful, girl," Your father demanded through slurred speech, cutting the previous silence in the house, you know he'd clearly been down to the pub after work, "What is this?" He eyed the card on the table angrily.

You trembled with a sense of fear as he picked up and read over the words briefly, "It's... It's a birthday card, Dad," You said as you watched him tear it in half without even thinking and dump it in the bin.

"Birthday card?" Your fathers' voice sneered in disgust, "You don't deserve one of them, you're nothing but a burden in my life!" His words were venomous and your heart sank even more.

"But... But everyone has a birthday," Your voice was quiet, afraid of his next move, "I'm ten this year, remember?" You couldn’t help the excitement in your voice, you were a young and innocent girl.

"Oh, really?" Your dad wondered, turning to face you while his words seemed more calmer than usual, "Well then I'd better give you your birthday present then, birthday girl."

You couldn't help but allow your eyes to light up but that was soon disregarded as the man raised his hand, the sound of his slap against your cheek echoing through the room.

"There's your birthday present," Your dad sneered with pure venom in his voice, "Now make yourself fuckin' useful and grab me another beer!" With his words sharp and demanding, you scurried over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beer to hand to him, "Good, at least you can do that. Now get the fuck out of my sight, brat!"

You wake up startled, gasping for breath while your heart pounded in your chest while drenched in a somewhat cold sweat. The remnants of the nightmare of your tenth birthday clung in your mind, so vivid that you remember it just like it was yesterday.

You were beaten that night by a man who you once called your father, it was a memorable birthday for all the wrong reasons.

It was also the birthday that you learnt to never ask to celebrate again.

It’s one of the reasons why you never like to celebrate your birthday, you dread the day completely and want nothing more than to hide away in your bedroom.

Leah and Jordan both found out about that the hard way, but that’s a story to tell another day.

“Stupid damn nightmares,” You mumble to yourself, exhaling a sigh as you take a quick glance at the time on your phone, the words lighting up in white as a faint reminder of the date that it was.

It was the anniversary of the day that your dad died, a whole year ago today.It should have been the day that brought you a sense of relief but you just felt even further lost instead.

Doubtful of being able to sleep again, you sit up in bed and make use of your time by scrolling through your phone until the sun starts to come up, or your favourite little buddy wakes up.

Only a few more hours to wait at least.

You didn’t want to sleep, more so you were afraid of the recurring nightmares that haunt you.

It always seems to be the same one, the stark reminder of your dad towering over you while you tremble in fear in the corner, you wish you could just block it all from your memory.

Oh, if only that was so easy to do so.

You never actually went to the man’s funeral, instead you sat curled up in a heap of blankets and watched your favourite movie with your favourite little buddy.

It was much better than sitting inside a church, surrounded by distant family members who would murmur how sorry they were for his loss.

You weren’t though, you were glad he was dead. You knew he couldn’t hurt you now, you were safe.

“So, we’ve got the day off today,” Leah starts the conversation as you sit in the kitchen the following morning, a bowl of cereal in front of you as you fight to stay awake, “I was thinking that we could go to the park, perhaps?”

You wish you could say you were paying more attention to the blonde but you’re tired and nothing is really going in your head right now.

You feel completely exhausted, the lack of sleep every single night is catching up on you now.

“Monkey! Monkey!” Buddy’s little hands grip onto your arm to try and get your attention, “Will you play with me?”She asks, sweetly.

You want to say yes, however you're just so tired that you want to do nothing more than go back to sleep, but even so you're afraid to do that because the nightmares that plague your memory.

Every single night, that same nightmare.

It’s haunting.

“Maybe a bit later, okay? I’m not… I’m not feeling great,” You admit to the 3 year old.

Of course you know she won’t understand why you feel so sad today, but you can’t cry in front of her. It’s not right.

“Why are you sad?” Buddy questions, confused.

You don’t answer her directly as you gently lift her up to sit her on your lap and show interest in her bear that she has in her hand as you just cuddle her.

“How about we take a trip to the park? It’s a nice day,” Leah repeats, “What do you girls think about that?” She asks.

“Park, Mummy!” Buddy squeals in agreement.

Leah smiles at her mini me’s excitement as she looks at you, “How do you feel about going to the park? It would be a good chance to take Tate for a walk as well,” She gestures to the puppy asleep in his new bed, “Earth to Monkey?” She waves her hand in your face to get your attention.

“Huh,” You jolt in surprise at the hand in front of your face, “What’re we talking about?”

“I was just saying it’s a nice day to go to the park,” Leah repeats her words as she sees your attention is elsewhere, “Monkey, are you okay? You look like you’re ready to fall asleep in your breakfast,” she notes.

“Oh uh yeah, I’m fine,” You stifle a yawn as you nod, “Guess I’m just a bit tired, Le,” You admit to the blonde, starting to pick at the skin around your nails.

Leah tilts her head to the side and frowns in concern, “You’re not sleeping, again?” She questions, knowingly as you bite your bottom lip, hesitant to speak while there's a presence of a 3 year old who doesn’t need to listen to this conversation, “Buddy? Sweetheart, why don’t you go and play with your toys in the living room?” She suggests.

“Okay,” Your favourite little buddy is so eager to agree as she carefully slides herself off your lap and toddles into the living room to allow you two to talk.

You’re grateful for that, you don’t want Buddy to hear about this stuff. She’s too innocent for it.

“What’s goin’ on Monkey?” The blonde questions, concerned as she moves to sit in the seat beside you, “You’re not sleeping?” She repeats.

“No, no, I mean… I try but I just keep on having this stupid recurring nightmare,” You admit quietly, trying to not make it a big deal, “I’m afraid to sleep,”

“Oh, Monkey,” Leah murmurs in sadness as she leans forward and moves a stray piece of hair out of your face, “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” She wonders.

“Dunno,” You confess as you shrug your shoulders.

The blonde exhales a sigh as she smiles sympathetically, “You know I’m here for you, my girl,” She reassures you, “Do you remember when I made that promise all those years ago? I still mean every single word that I said to this day,”

You know that you can trust Leah, she’s safe.

When your dad died last year, you had already been living with Leah, and Jordan as well for quite some time, and the two of them knew everything that happened in the past.

You never had the intention to ever tell either one of them about it though, but they found out one day by accident and you just ended up coming clean.

You told them everything, the couple were people that you felt you could trust. Sure it took a bit to warm up to them at first in a new housing environment, but you had known both of them for years.

You did trust both of them to some extent.

Leah had an aura of calmness around her that you feel safe, it made you open up and tell her what happened.

Her words that he told you do still stick in your brain, even to do this day.

“Ha, I win. Again!” 15 year old you exclaimed, pointing your index finger at Jordan while the two of you were playing Fifa.

So far the score was one-sided, 7 - 1.

Jordan was losing the game terribly.

“What,” The woman groaned in annoyance, “Are you sure you’re not cheating, little one?” She questioned in disbelief about the score.

“Please, how can you cheat at this game?” You couldn’t help but giggle, “I win, fair and square. Sucks to be a loser!” You still wound the woman up.

“I’m not a loser– You’re definitely cheating!” Jordan was quick to fire back and playfully scowled at you from where she sat on the sofa.

“When you two are finished squabbling,” A heavily pregnant Leah appeared in the doorway of the living room with an amused look on her face, “Dinners’ ready.” She stated.

The blonde had your attention at the mention of food, “What’re we havin��?” You wondered.

It was a known fact that Leah couldn’t cook all that well, usually sticking to sticking frozen food in the oven at her convenience.

“You’ll find out when you come and sit down at the table, won’t you?” Leah told you playfully as she looked at the telly, “Really, Jord? Are you letting her win, willingly?” She joked.

“I am not, the little one is good,” Jordan mumbled in disagreement, placing her controller down on the coffee table in front, “Come on kid, let’s go and eat dinner,” She gestured for you to follow.

“But we’re in the middle of a game!” You couldn’t help but whine.

“And the game will still be here when you’re finished,” Leah remarked, laughing a little bit, “Go on and pause it.” She added.

“Fine, alright,” You huffed in the way that a teenager does, before you begrudgingly walked into the kitchen to sit and eat dinner with the two older women, “But I want to play another game afterwards!”

“Don’t worry, Monkey. As soon as you’ve eaten, you can go back and continue to beat Jordan in Fifa,” Leah said, teasing her partner lightly as she ruffled your hair.

The way that you had opened up to them since you started living with them still amazed Leah. The once shy girl that would hide in her room and keep to herself, now so outspoken. She was glad to see you regularly behaving like a regular kid.

Not only were you shy, but in the first few months they would note the way that you would fight to not flinch when somebody came near you. Always afraid that people would treat you the same way that your father had done.

They didn’t understand why, but they knew they had to be patient. The two of them had always suspected things, but nothing was ever confirmed by you.

You didn’t want to tell them, and they didn’t want to ask.

The constant voice in the back of your mind that everything you did was wrong, was what caused you to freak out the first time you dropped a plate by accident.

You offered to help Jordan dry the dishes up after dinner one evening, when she handed it to you, it had been slippery from the soap and it dropped out of your hands without a chance to even attempt to catch it.

The plate crashed onto the floor with a loud bang and broke into many pieces, you had stood there frozen, afraid of what would happen next.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I will clean it up, I will replace the plate. I am really sorry,” Your hands moved as an instinct to shield your face over your hands when Jordan approached you, “Please don’t hit me,” You pleaded, terrified.

“Hey, it’s alright kid,” Jordan moved to try and rest her hand on your shoulder as you jolted in fear, “It’s just a plate, it can be replaced. There’s no need to be frightened.”

The words weren’t sinking in as you were too wrapped up in your own head to hear what the woman was saying. You felt completely scared.

“What’s going on?” Leah questioned in concern as she walked into the kitchen after she heard the commotion and took in the scene in front of her.

Jordan looked at her with a panicked expression, “She’s scared, Le– I don’t… I don’t know what happened, I tried to reassure her but she’s scared of me Le,” She explained quickly as Leah moved slowly to stand in front of you, “No, Le, don’t. She’s terrified,”

Much to Jordan’s surprise though, when Leah stood in front of you and knelt down to your own height the best she could, you were broken out of the trance that you were in.

“Monkey?” The gentleness in the blonde’s voice got your attention, her eyes were soft in comparison to the harsh and cold eyes your dad often had, “Hey, there you are, cheeky monkey. I thought I’d lost you,” She said, sticking with the gentle approach.

“I’m sorry that I broke the plate,” You murmur the apology to the blonde, “Please don’t be mad,”

“It’s alright my girl, it’s just a plate and they always be replaced,” Leah continued to reassure you, keeping in mind that you felt frightened so she was cautious about things, avoiding enveloping you in a hug and instead just offering her hand out for you to take, “How about we leave Jordan to finish the rest of the washing up and we go and watch a movie, hm?” She suggested.

“But… But the plate is broken, I need to sweep it up,” You told her, looking down at the plate on the floor that is smashed to pieces.

The blonde shakes her head in disagreement, “That doesn’t matter now, okay? We can worry about that later. Let’s just go and watch a movie for now,” She told you gently, keeping her hand held out for you to take, “I’m sure there’s another Marvel film that I haven’t seen yet, isn’t there?”

You felt somewhat calm about the fact that Leah recognised you felt scared and offered comfort, but on your own terms, “Okay,” You agreed, accepting the hand that she held out for you to take, “You haven’t watched Iron Man yet, he’s so cool with the suits he built. I’d love to have one of them to just blast people when I want to do so!”

“What’re we watching then?” Jordan came to join you after she finished the rest of the dishes, weary about your initial fear towards her when you dropped the plate, “Did I miss anything good?” She asks.

“Jordy, you gotta see this!” You insisted, pointing your index finger in the direction of the TV, “Le, rewind it back– Look how cool Iron Man is with his suit, I want his powers! He just goes round blasting things like that!” You started to ramble all about Iron Man and the older woman felt a bit more relaxed, glad to see you weren’t frightened of her.

That was the start of you opening up more, Leah learnt that them by the two of them being patient it did pay off in the end, both Leah and Jordan had to find a newfound interest in the things that you loved but it all worked in the end, and Leah found herself knowing a lot more about these beloved Marvel characters in the long-run.

Anything to make you happy and safe in your new home.

However, you never did tell them the whole truth about your past there and then, you didn’t want them to think any differently of you.

It was easy to fake a cheerful smile and nobody even thought to ask questions now, the memories of your past were just that, memories.

Until that night at dinner where things came to light again.

“I’m gonna make a drink,” You were thirsty and completely forgot about it before sitting down to eat dinner with them both, so you moved from your seat at the table to make it.

“Can you reach or do you need a hand?” Leah teased lightly, poking fun at the fact you were still short.

Sticking your tongue out at her playfully, you walked over to where the glasses were kept, “I can reach, I’m taller than Jordy!” You insisted.

“Wha… Hey!” Jordan playfully scowled at you from where she sat eating her own dinner.

“Be careful,” Leah's maternal instinct kicked in as she watched apprehensively in case you slipped when reaching up high for the glass.

“I can do it,” You continued to insist, standing on your tiptoes with complete concentration on your face to reach one of them, “I’m short, but I’m still capable!”

“Okay shorty I believe you,” Leah joked while still keeping her eyes focused on you as she watched you reach for it, her playfulness in her voice disappearing when she saw your hoodie rise up slightly to show her the jagged scars that littered your back as her eyes widened in horror, “Oh my God,” She murmured quietly.

Jordan had caught onto Leah’s expression and was just as shocked to see it.

“I told you I got the glass Le, there’s no need to be protective,” You couldn’t help but giggle as you successfully reached for the glass and stood back to look at them, noting the concern that they both had, “Wha… I didn’t fall, why’d you both look so horrified?” You continued to wonder, not realising they had seen your scars.

“Monkey,” Leah began to say quietly and fearfully, “Those… Those scars on your back, how did you get them?” She wondered, apprehensively.

“Oh,” You tugged at your jumper automatically to try and hide them making another appearance, “There nothing, it’s just… it’s old stuff,” You told them, quietly.

“Old stuff?” Jordan repeated your words, concern written all over her face.

“Yeah, none of it matters. It’s… It’s the past,” Your not so keen to talk about this topic, trying to push down any memories from resurfacing as you make a drink in hopes that they will drop the subject.

They don’t, unfortunately.

Sitting back at the table with the two of them, you tried to ignore their weary glances as you gulped down your drink of squash, “Can we… Can we not make this out to be such a big deal? Please?” You asked them quietly.

“We need to talk about this Monkey,” Leah told you, gently as she tried to reach out and hold your hand, “Sweetheart, what… where did you get those from?” She asked, rephrasing the question to try and figure out the best approach to get you to open up to them.

“It’s nothing,” You were quick to tell them, “It wasn’t anything that I didn’t deserve,” You added.

Leah continued to look at you in concern as her eyebrows pinched together, “Sweetheart, no, nobody deserves anything like that,” She paused briefly, “Monkey, did somebody hurt you?” She questioned.

“No… Nobody, I fell. Nobody did this!” You continued to insist, but your quick response just made them even more concerned.

“Monkey, these scars don’t look like something that you can get from falling,” Jordan stated, honestly as her eyebrows furrowed, “Where did you get them, kid?” She knew she had to be gentle with her approach, the last that either of them wanted was you to revert back to the afraid girl you once was.

Glancing at Leah, you could tell that she was close to tears although you weren’t sure if it was finding out about this or the hormones, but she was close to crying for sure, “Sweetheart, please, I know you’re scared to tell us, but please, if someones’ hurt you then we need to know so we can protect you!” She insisted, her voice sounding hoarse.

“It… It was my dad,” You admitted to them, “He used to get angry sometimes, but it’s not his fault!” Even though he hurt you, you would still defend him.

It was your own fault what happened to you.

“Your Dad?” Jordan swallowed the lump in her throat at the truth, the two of them always had their suspicions it had something to do with the man, but hearing it aloud left the woman with a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Your… Your dad did this to you?” Leah’s own voice is hitched as the tears she’d been trying to keep at bay were let loose.

“Don’t cry, Le,” You told her, quietly as you moved to roll up your sleeve to show a faint scar from a cigarette burn on your arm from a night where your dad decided to use your arm as an ashtray, “They don’t hurt anymore, see?” You stated, pressing your cool finger against the scar.

Right there in that moment, Leah wanted to pull you into her arms, hold you so tightly and never let go, “Sweetheart,” She murmured, trying to fight against the instinct that she felt in case she spooked you.

“They’re just scars now, nothing else,” You told them, innocently, “It’s not his fault, I’m the one to blame. I was a burden to him,” You admitted.

“No, Monkey, no, you’re not a burden– Screw it,” Leah couldn’t fight against the instinct anymore as she moved off her chair in slow motion due to the fact she was heavily pregnant as she enveloped you in a hug, “You’re not– Listen to me, okay? Your dad… What he did, there’s no excuse for that, none at all. Nothing that happened is your fault, my girl.”

“I made him mad,” You mumbled, now trying to fight back your own tears, “I… I didn’t ever mean to make him so mad though, I did deserve it!”

“You didn’t kid,” Jordan chimed in, feeling a sense of anger for the man.

“No, no, you didn’t, you didn’t deserve any of that at all!” The blonde repeated her words, holding you in her arms the best she could with a swollen belly in the way, “What your dad did, none of it is okay. You were… You are just a kid, don’t think for a single second that any of what that man did to you is your fault,” She stated.

“It’s not?” You asked, confused.

You had always been told it was your fault, it was embedded in your brain that it was.

“No it’s not, my girl,” Leah told you truthfully.

“Oh,” You didn’t know what to say, you were used to being told so differently, so you just did what you think is right and rested your head on her shoulder, staring out at the layout of the kitchen behind you.

“It’s not your fault kid,” Jordan spoke up as she tried to control her own anger she felt for the man, “That man deserves to rot in prison for what he did to you,” Jordan stated, firmly as her hands clenched in anger.

“Jord, no,” Leah whispered as she caught sight of her partner's anger and shook her head to motion that it wasn’t the right time for that, “Monkey is our priority right now. We’ll talk about it another time,” She insisted, firmly.

“You’re right,” Jordan exhaled a sigh and started to be calmer than she was, right now the main priority was on you and making sure that you’re okay, “You don’t need to be scared now, kid. We’ve got you,” She promised, getting up from her seat to rest her hand on your back.

“Jord’s right, Monkey,” Leah told you as she continued to hold you in her arms, “We’ve got you, you’re safe and we… I won’t ever let anybody hurt you again, alright?”

“You… You won’t?” You peered your head up from her shoulder and looked at her cautiously.

“I won’t,” The blonde repeated firmly, “I’m always going to be here to protect you, you don’t need to be scared because I’m here. I’ve got you, my girl.” She told you.

Leah really did keep word, they both did.

The two of them have been there for you a whole lot through the time that you moved in with them 4 years ago just months before your 16th birthday and that hasn’t changed still to this day.

“Do you remember what I told you?” Leah questions, bringing you out of your thoughts that are wrapped up in.

“I do remember,” You tell the blonde quietly in agreement, “It’s just… You were on holiday, I didn’t want to ruin it by you having to worry about me,”

“You’re my kid, it’s my job to worry about you,” Leah replies without even thinking about it, “And before you say anything else, I wouldn’t have cared if you had ruined it. You need me then I’m here, that’s the way it has been and always will be,”

You feel a warmth spread through your chest at her words, a sense of security in your life that the blonde provided time and time again, “I know,” You whisper, a faint smile forming on your lips, “Thank you, I will… I will tell you next time that something is on my mind,” You tell her.

“How long have you not been able to sleep for?” Leah asks, concerned where it should be something that needs to be looked into with your profession in mind.

“A few weeks, I… I just can’t sleep, I try to and then it’s like the same dumb nightmare again,” You mumble, slumping your shoulders, “So then I wake up in a cold sweat and I can’t go back to sleep again,” You add.

“Well I guess that explains why you’ve been falling asleep in random places,” Leah jokes, trying to keep the conversation light despite knowing your true struggle with sleep coming to light, “Does this have something to do with today’s date?” She asks, quietly.

“You remembered,” You look up at her in shock, “I think it might, I keep dreaming about my dad and the day of my tenth birthday.” You admit to her.

“Of course I remembered, I thought that today might be tough for you,” Leah sympathises with you and understands how hard today might be, “We don’t have to go out today, we can stay in… How about we watch a Marvel movie? There’s gotta be one that I haven’t seen yet, huh?” She asks, offering her hand out for you to take.

You can’t help but grin faintly as you remember the memory all those years back, “That’s what you said before,” Pausing, you accept the hand offered out to you and stand up from the chair, “We can watch Black Widow, I love that one!” You declare, not giving her much choice before you drag her into the living room after abandoning your breakfast.

Watching any sort of Marvel movie was definitely worth it in your own opinion.

“Monkey!” Your favourite little buddy cheers as you both walk into the room, “Can you play with me now?” She asks, sweetly.

“How about you come join us on the sofa instead to watch this movie?” You offer, while making yourself comfy on the sofa and tap the space for the 3 year old, who jumps up from the floor and joins you on there with no hesitation.

“What are we watching?” Buddy asks, peering up to look at you curiously.

“Only one of the best Marvel movies ever!” You exclaim, beaming a wide smile.

“That’s what you say about anything Marvel that you watch,” Leah smirks, looking up from her phone with a knowing smirk before she leans over and ruffles your hair.

Unaware to you, Leah is in the middle of texting Jordan to fill her in on what is going on and much to her relief, Jordan just so happens to be in the area and tells her that’s 5 minutes out from their place with snacks in hand.

You don’t even hear the front door open when she enters because you’re so engrossed in the beginning of the film, “This film is just after Civil War, which you haven’t watched yet but there is still time!” You tell your favourite little buddy, of course she doesn’t have a clue what you’re on about though.

“Room for one more?” The familiar accent pulls your attention away from the opening credits as she stands there with a shopping bag full of snacks, “What Marvel movie are we watching this time?” She wonders, plonking herself down on the other side of the sofa where there’s an empty space for her beside you.

You don’t even know the words to express your gratitude right now as you put your arms around her to hug her, “Did you bring sweets?” You ask, cheekily.

“Like that’s even a question,” Jordan remarks playfully, “Of course I did, so many of them!” She adds.

“Well that’s not healthy,” Leah chimes in, rolling her eyes all but used to her ex’s ways, “You’re not eating all of them,” She says, pointing her index finger at you.

“Oh come on, where’s the fun in that,” You grin cheekily and accept a packet of sweets you’re offered, “See, this is why Dobby’s the fun parent and you’re the stern one, Malfoy,” You joke with her.

Jordan faux’s a gasp, “I want to be offended that you called me that, but you said I was fun so I’m gonna let it slide,” She states.

“See? Fun,” You grin, looking between the two women.

Leah rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue, “Alright, alright. Let’s watch the movie,” She tells you, gesturing your attention back to the first scene in it.

“Whatever you say,” You nod in agreement, making yourself comfy from your spot on the sofa in the middle of both Leah and Jordan, head resting on Leah’s lap while your legs dangled over Jordan and of course Buddy has managed to slot herself to lie down in front of you with your arm protectively over her.

Your favourite little Buddy continues to watch the movie in awe, despite some of the more… graphic scenes that there are, “Wow,” she gasps quietly and continues to watch the movie.

“This is Black Widow, she’s cool, we like the Black Widow!” You tell the little one who’s all but glued to your side, “I’m gonna show you all the marvel films. There’s so many, you’re gonna love ‘em, Buddy!” You insist, smiling at her.

You were grateful to be surrounded by Leah and Jordan at that minute, what should have been a dreaded day has now been overshadowed with their ever growing support to get through it not on your own.

You couldn't have more gratitude for your newfound family.

#woso x reader #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso imagine #monkey #arsenal women x reader #arsenal x reader #leah williamson x reader #jordan nobbs x reader #scribblesofagoonerr #chaos fc reader #woso fic #woso writers #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal women #woso #double the trouble fic #buddy

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roosterr · 1 year ago

Text

white flag ✹ ch 6

note: hoo boy, this one's a doozy. didn't mean to project so hard with this one, but fuck it we ball ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 5.3k

no use of y/n reader's callsign is 'stingray'

summary: you reach a breaking point with simon, and he finally realises what he needs to do to fix things.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, some light violence, ghost finally getting his shit together, arguing, kitchen floor romance, fluff

ao3

【prev】 || 【next】

simon didn't see you at home. in fact, he found out from soap that you went straight to the pub with him and the others. you didn't even drop your car off, which meant you weren't going to get drunk, you were going to avoid him.

it stung – a feeling he’s become quite familiar with lately. but you wanted him to leave you alone, to give you space, and seeing as he had no idea what else to do, he would oblige.

he sits at the kitchen table, across from the chair that's become yours through some unspoken agreement. a random book is in his hands – an attempt to keep himself occupied, but he's been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes and he hasn't absorbed a single word. you are the only thing on his mind, no matter how hard he concentrates on what's in front of him.

slamming his book shut with a frustrated grunt, he gives in to the fact that he's not going to be able to do anything meaningful until you get home. perhaps trying to talk now that you'd be alone would work out better than his previous attempts.

he intends to go straight up to his room when he leaves the kitchen, but for some reason simon finds himself standing outside the door to your room, peering into the darkness through the gap where you'd left it ajar.

he shouldn't go in, he knows that. from the start he'd promised himself to give you complete privacy – he hadn't even set foot in the living room since you'd moved in, apart from the times he brought you hot chocolate and put you to bed. it was the least he could do, offer you a space to call your own, since you really didn’t have much else.

but simon missed you; he missed being near you, the scent of your shampoo and the laundry detergent you use, just basking in your presence. he wouldn't touch anything, he rationalised, he just wanted to be surrounded by something that was you.

it’s dark, but he doesn't even bother to turn the light on, the hall light through the door illuminates the room enough for him to see where he's going. the armchair on the far side of the room is unoccupied, so he collapses there with a deep exhale.

the solitude must be driving him insane, because when he closes his eyes he can almost convince himself that you’re there with him, sitting across from him with one of his books in your hands. the disappointment that washes over him when he opens his eyes to be alone again isn’t rational, but knowing that still doesn’t dull the ache.

on the mantle, he notices something definitely not left there by him; first, he spots the flowers he gave you, a little wilted and slightly squashed, sitting in a vase that was here when he moved in. he feels a fleeting sense of relief at that, he wouldn't have been surprised if you'd thrown them straight in the bin.

but more interestingly, there's a photo frame, something simon owns exactly zero of, so it must be something of yours. he stands up, his curiosity getting the better of him, and takes the frame gently in his hand. tilting it into the light so the photo is visible, he feels a faint smile tugging at his lips at the sight of a younger you surrounded by your previous team.

you’re grinning widely, making bunny ears behind one of your teammates crouched in front of you, while someone behind does the same to you. as his eyes follow their arm to their face, poking out just above your head, he feels a sharp frown pull at his brows.

it’s anderson.

simon blinks a few times, in the hopes the he was simply imagining things – that his hatred for the man and lack of a good night's sleep was causing him to see things, but no matter how many times he looked away and back again, anderson’s face refused to change.

the urge to smash the photo builds up like steadily boiling water the longer he stares at it, so he places it back on the mantle before it gets too strong. why was he just now finding out you used to work with anderson? it explained why he was so overly familiar with you. was that why you liked him more? you had to be close with him – closer than simon was with you.

were you… involved with him?

the very thought makes his heart sink like a stone. his head feels light as he stumbles back out of your room, the acidic taste of bile rising in his throat.

not a moment after the door clicks shut, simon feels his phone buzz in his pocket, pushing his spiralling train of thought to the back of his mind. he pulls it out, the screen lit up with johnny's name on the caller id, but he doesn't want to answer it.

he lets it ring until the missed call notification appears instead. expecting that to be it, simon moves to shove his phone back in his pocket, but it buzzes again before he can get there.

it's a text this time – more of them coming through before he's had time to read the first. with a tired exhale, he opens the messages from johnny.

you coming pub? 20:23 pm

you should 20:23 pm

sting is here ;) 20:24 pm

no. 20:25 pm

why notttttttt 20:25 pm

cmon just get down here 20:25 pm

seriously i think you should come we need you 20:26

fine. 20:28 pm

let's fucking go 20:28 pm

better run tho be quick 20:28 pm

simon breathes a sigh of exasperation, but grabs his jacket off the hook. he doesn't even bother to change his balaclava for a more socially acceptable mask. whatever johnny's reasoning was for getting him to come to the pub, he was secretly grateful for the excuse to go out and see you – whether he would actually get to talk to you or simply watch you from the sidelines.

✹✹✹

slipping in quietly through the side entrance, simon is relieved to find the pub not nearly as rowdy as it is normally. it seems to be only the one-four-one and their associate unit mixed in with the locals, rather than being packed with soldiers like usual.

immediately he spots price, taking up a booth in the far corner, who raises a hand in greeting to him but otherwise stays put. the gesture draws johnny and gaz's attention to him, both of whom give him enthusiastic waves of their own.

he doesn't see you with them, which prompts him to scour the rest of the pub as he trudges over to his comrades. it doesn't take him long to find you over by the bar, though when he spots anderson unnecessarily close to you, he feels like his heart might just stop.

now that he knows you and him have history, simon feels a pit of hopelessness in his chest that he knows won't ever go away as long as he has to see you be happy with someone else.

it should be me, he thinks, a bitter downturn to his lips under his mask.

"why am i here?" he grumbles when he finally makes it to the booth, choosing to stay standing at the end of the table rather than sitting down with them.

"because you need'ta sort out this thing between you and sting." johnny replies, pushing himself up to stand next to simon and giving his shoulder a firm pat.

simon rolls his eyes to hide the way soap’s words make him flinch. "i've tried. they won't listen to me." he mumbles. he sees price shake his head in a show of disappointment, which only makes him feel even worse about the whole situation. aside from you, the captain’s been the hardest on him for the way he fucked things up, and while the sergeants clearly think he's an idiot, they've done their best to support him.

"then make them listen!" gaz exclaims, "explain yourself, tell them you'd do anything for them," he gestures one hand to where you’re standing at the bar, "tell them you love them!"

"i don't–" he begins to protest as he follows gaz’s hand, but the words die on his tongue when his eyes land on you; the dim lighting of the pub illuminates the way you smile so pleasantly, simon’s heart skips a beat. turning away from you before he becomes too entranced, he shoots gaz a light glare. "keep your voice down…"

"just tell them, l.t." gaz has an easy, knowing smile on his face when he meets simon’s eyes. looking between him and johnny, who wears a similar expression, he lets out a tired sigh.

"you’re a pain in my arse, both of you." he grumbles, massaging the creases in his forehead over the fabric of his mask.

"you're gonna do it, right?" soap grins from behind his pint, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that has simon groaning, but nodding nonetheless. "good lad, i knew you had it in ya!" soap claps him on the back once more before taking his seat again.

before any of them can bother him further, the sound of raised voices reaches their ears from the bar. not loud enough to hear what they're saying, but enough to know that there's a problem.

he's not sure what he's expecting when he turns around; but seeing you pushing a very drunk anderson’s arm off your shoulder with a scowl on your face, simon finds himself stalking over to you before he can even think about it.

"c'mon, we're good together, we have history!" anderson's words are slurred, leaving no mystery as to just how drunk he is. he leans further into your personal space, and simon watches your face scrunch up as you lean away, placing your hand on anderson’s chest to keep him at bay. "you're not seriously into that freak, are you? with that creepy fuckin' mask?"

that makes simon pause. he wanted to rip anderson away from you – of course he did – but he also wanted to hear your response, whether you would denounce him or not.

"oi!" you exclaim, an incredulous tone to your voice. "he is not a freak, don't be so rude!"

the way you defend him makes his heart swell. you also didn't deny what anderson said, and though he knows it's arrogant of him, simon still holds out hope that you don't truly hate him.

with the tiniest smirk under his mask, simon closes the distance, coming to stand at your side between you and anderson.

"sting." he addresses you, meeting your eyes and completely ignoring the annoyed mumbling from the idiot on his other side. "you alright?"

the look you give him is one of surprise and relief, but you don't get to say a single word before anderson is pushing simon's shoulder so they're facing each other.

"lieu‐lieutenant ghost, fancy seein' you here," anderson is clearly annoyed at his intrusion, poking a finger into his chest that gets slapped away just as quickly. "come to show everyone how big 'n tough you are, eh?"

"andy, stop it." you hiss, pushing him back again and stepping between him and simon.

anderson scoffs at you. "why should i? we're not at work, he can't do anything, he's just some random loser." he glares up at simon, a pitiful attempt at intimidation he knows he wouldn't dream of trying if he was sober.

"give it a rest, sergeant." simon grumbles, rolling his eyes at the way anderson puffs his chest out and stands up straighter.

"y'know, sting was right, you're a huge fuckin' arsehole," anderson spits, ignoring the way you try to keep him away when he steps around you be face to face with simon again. "can't blame 'em for not wantin' to put up with you anymore."

simon flinches ever so slightly at that, but thankfully anderson is too drunk to notice.

"that's enough." he growls, his nails digging painfully into his palms.

"no, no! what th'fuck is your problem, man?" anderson shouts, shoving simon's chest – which doesn't move him, but pisses him off anyway. "you think you're so much better than me, but you hide your ugly mug behind that fuckin' mask like a pussy!" his raised voice draws the attention of the other patrons, and an uneasy silence falls over the room as the background chatter halts.

"just fuckin' shut up," simon rolls his eyes again, shifting his gaze over to you and jerking his head in a gesture for you to move. "c'mon."

"and don't even get me started on sting!" anderson continues, pointing a swaying finger in your face which gets slapped away the same as before. "you're so obsessed with them, it's creepy as shit, everyone knows it!"

"i'm not–"

"they must be a fuckin' freak n'all, to be into you, you're both fucked in the head–"

"watch your fuckin' mouth." simon spits, taking the front of anderson's shirt roughly in his fist. he could insult simon until his last breath, but to drag your name into this ignited the flame of real anger in his chest.

"ghost, let's just go." you grasp his wrist, the one holding anderson, and perhaps if simon could focus on anything other than the smug little bastard he's moments away from punching, he might’ve felt the warmth that your touch brought him.

"–that's why they have go to the bloody psy-psychiatrist all the time, they're fuckin' mental–" the moment the words left anderson’s mouth, simon feels every sliver of restraint he had immediately leave his body; the only sound he can hear is the rushing of blood in his ears as his face twists in rage.

"shut the fuck up." he seethes, rearing his free arm back to throw possibly the most satisfying hit of his life; but before he can land it, his arm is immobilised he’s being yanked away from the sergeant.

suddenly price is in his face with a more than disapproving frown, walking him backwards with a firm hand on his shoulder. "get a hold of yourself!" he yells, commanding and abrasive.

simon grunts and pulls price's hand off of him, leaning around the captain just in time to see you deliver a fierce slap to anderson’s face that resonates in the quiet of the room.

anderson’s head whips to the side with the blow, the shell-shocked expression displaying the clear bruise forming on his cheek and his ego. simon had to admit, the sight of that prick with a bright red handprint on his cheek was incredibly gratifying.

"don't fucking talk about me like that." you spit at him, the most intense glare he's ever seen on you creasing your features. simon notices the way it softens when your eyes meet his, as johnny pushes you away from anderson – who's still reeling from the hit, but nobody bothers to take care of him.

he can't take his eyes off of you. it's like the rest of the world has just faded away and you're the only other person left, because right now, you're the only person that matters.

its drizzling by the time you drag him out by the arm. the damp air has a somewhat sobering effect on him as he allows you to pull him along with you.

"i could’ve handled that." you mutter angrily over your shoulder. you're taking him in the direction of the car park, the orange glow of the lamp posts casting shadows on your irritated expression that he finds himself admiring like fine art.

"i'd do it again." simon replies, still having never once taken his eyes off of your form. when you let go of his arm, having arrived at your car, he immediately feels the absence of your touch. he watches you walk around to the driver's side, meeting his eyes over the car and pausing in your tracks.

you hold his gaze for a moment, before looking down and shaking your head.

"just get in the fucking car." you mutter, opening the driver’s side door and disappearing from his sight. he follows suit without question, the car shifting under his weight as he settles into the passenger seat.

you pull out of the car park without another word, your face hard as you pointedly ignore his eyes on you. the silence between is thick, without even the white noise of the radio to break it.

in some way, simon’s glad you chose him over anderson, that you're driving him home rather than taking the side of that idiot. but, then again, he remembers the history the two of you must have, and he feels mildly guilty for potentially breaking up a long-term friendship of yours. not too guilty, though; the guy was a certified dickhead.

when the tension becomes too much, he decides to ask the only question that's been circling his mind like a vulture since he laid eyes on your photo.

"you know him." simon mutters. it's more of a statement than a question, really. "i saw the picture."

he sees your eyes narrow, his own still locked on your profile as you face the road. "you went through my stuff?" you reply, a small frown pulling at your brows.

"no, i just saw the picture." for a moment, he’s afraid he’d unintentionally started another argument, but his words only evoke a deeply exhausted sigh from you.

"he's just one of my old teammates." you reply, the sadness in your voice tugging at simon’s heartstrings. "i thought he was my friend, but obviously i'm not a very good judge of character, am i?"

perhaps that was a dig aimed at simon too, but he can only really focus on how disappointed you sound.

"it’s not your fault. he’s just a twat." he attempts to reassure you, to hopefully make you feel better, but he can't tell how successful it was.

"i know that now, i just–" you huff, cutting yourself off as you pull up outside home. you shut off the engine, massaging your temples with the same frown still on your face. he's tempted to say something more, but no words come to him.

"nevermind, i don't even wanna think about it." you sigh, quickly getting out of the car and slamming the door behind you. he follows behind, the lights of your car flashing as you lock it, illuminating the way your shoulders are slumped as you disappear into the house.

simon figures you'll want time to cool off after what happened, perhaps a cold cloth for your hand that's undoubtedly stinging after such a powerful hit. the memory is enough to make him smile lightly, a feeling of pride blooming in his chest for you.

he creeps upstairs on autopilot, his gaze lingering on the closed door to your room as he passes by.

it's still quite early in the night, so he's not surprised when he hears your door open and shut again downstairs – you going to sit in the kitchen, he assumes.

he wanted to talk with you alone, without the threat of anderson interrupting him again – and now is as good a time as any.

you're sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop open on some real estate site when he shuffles into the room. he stands in the doorway, watching as you continue sifting through nearby flat listings without looking over to him.

neither of you speak. you're not willing to break the silence first, and neither is he.

for a moment, simon just stands there, staring at you. he can see you watching him from the corner of your eye from where he shifting uncomfortably by the door. he half expects you to tell him to piss off, but to his surprise, you stay quiet. taking your silence as a sign that you aren’t, in fact, revolted by his presence, he inches closer and closer to you until he's standing directly next to where you're sitting.

still, neither of you say a word.

a minute or two passes with him looming over you, watching as you scroll through page after page of available flats, a shadowy figure in your peripheral.

eventually you find a reasonably priced listing, and when you click it, only then does ghost speak up.

"you don't need to leave." he says, cringing under his mask at the sound of his voice. he hopes you don’t pick up on how pathetic he sounds. "you already have a house."

"what? what are you talking about?" your eyes remain locked on your screen as you reply, voice flat and disinterested.

simon releases a shaky sigh, his nerve quickly faltering the longer you continue to ignore him. there's a brief pause as you inspect the words on your screen, before simon brings his hand up behind your laptop and firmly closes it. with an annoyed huff you finally look at him, piercing him with a narrow glare.

"you live here." he murmurs, staring intently back at you, fighting with himself to keep his expression neutral, to stay strong.

with me. the unspoken words hang heavy in the air.

"i can't stay here, there's only one bed for christ's sake." you grumble, brow furrowed as you pinch the bridge of your nose. "my back can't handle sleeping on that sofa forever."

"then sleep in my bed." there’s no hesitation in his words; he would gladly sleep on the lumpy sofa-bed if it meant you would be more comfortable – if it meant you would stay. the sound of your chair scraping the floor echoes in the stillness of the kitchen as you stand up, to be closer to eye level with him.

"oh what, and leave you on the sofa? in your own home?" you scoff, shaking your head as you step around him.

"well, yeah. you– i…" he reaches a hand out to touch you, stopping himself just above your elbow before he pulls back. the gesture stops you in your tracks, drawing your gaze back to his eyes. "don't leave." he murmurs, just above a whisper.

your mouth opens to respond, but his words catch you completely off guard. your eyes flit down, and he knows you can see the way his hands tremble at his side. he felt so… vulnerable, a word he never expected to apply to him, of all people, but you had that effect on him.

"just stay…" he whispers, a desperate plea as he squeezes his eyes shut to block out everything except you and him. "please…"

another tension filled silence stretches between you. he opens his eyes again, blinking as he meets your gaze. there's a profound sadness there, dragging your features downwards in a frown that sinks his stomach.

your sigh breaks the silence.

"i can't keep doing this, ghost." you mumble, dipping your head and rubbing your eyes.

"...what?"

"this! one minute you're nice to me, then you're a complete dickhead, and then you're back to being nice again." you exclaim, waving your hands around in frustration to amplify your point. "it’s exhausting."

"that's not– i'm not doing it on purpose." he frowns, the internal panic that arguing with you causes rising to the surface.

"this is what i mean! you're just making excuses!" your voice has a desperation to it that strikes him like an arrow through the heart. you turn sharply away from him, focusing your gaze somewhere on the wall.

"then just tell me what you want, for fucks sake!" he pleads, shuffling to stay in front of you and try to coax your eyes back to him. "whatever it is, i'll do it!"

"tell you what i want?" you laugh wryly, looking back to him with an expression he can only describe as offended. "i want you to apologise to me! i want you to say you're fucking sorry, and i don't want to have to wring it out of you!"

your words ring in his ears, bouncing off the walls and back at him like an echo chamber.

"you have never apologised to me! not even once! after all the shit you've put me through, i have never heard the words 'i'm sorry' out of your mouth!" you scowl at him, your eyes glossy with tears threatening to fall as your voice breaks. "thats all i've ever wanted from you!"

simon can't shake off the stunned feeling your words impart upon him; all this time, had he really never apologised? he'd just assumed that you knew he was sorry, without ever having actually said it.

the answer was practically smacking him in the face the entire time, and he still somehow managed to completely miss it. no wonder you were fed up with him – no wonder everyone kept looking at him like he was an idiot.

he's never felt more like a fucking moron than he does in this moment.

he's broken out of his haze by the movement of you sitting back down in your chair, lowering your head into your shaky hands and taking an equally unstable breath.

"you say you don't know what to do– you keep saying you regret what happened, but you never tell me why!" you briefly lift your head to cry out at him, and he just about sees the wetness on your cheeks before it's hidden behind your fingers again.

he takes one large stride to be standing in front of you again. "i was trying to help! havin' any kind of phobia will get you killed in this line of work. i was trying to help you because…" he speaks with a similarly desperate tone, his hands floating uselessly in the space between you. "be–because i care about you."

"well you could've fooled me." you sniffle, lowering your hands slightly, your gaze staying locked to the floor. "why didn't you just say that to begin with? why bother with the tough guy act?"

"it's not that simple…" he mutters, frozen in place, afraid that one wrong move would send you bolting like a cornered animal.

"why?" you cry, tilting your head up to catch his eyes with your own reddened ones, "what are you so afraid of?!"

simons heart beats out of his chest, the rhythm so aggressive he was sure he'd go into cardiac arrest.

"i'm in love with you!" he blurts, the tremor in his hands increasingly obvious as he digs the heels of his palms into his eyes. "...that's what i'm afraid of." his voice is little more than a whisper now, the silence following his declaration only serving to hurt his heart further.

when he peeks back down at you, there's a look of pure shock on your face. your mouth is agape, your eyes flickering between both of his, and simon feels as though you're staring straight into the abyss of his soul.

"and i am sorry, i'm so fuckin' sorry, for everything– all the shit i gave you when you first started, for never givin' you a chance, for screamin’ at you," he continues, his own voice subtly cracking, "i– i'm so… in love with you, and it fucking terrifies me..."

he wanted to touch you, so badly, and with the sheer amount of raw emotion racing through his veins, he can't find it in himself to resist the urge.

simon sinks to his knees in front of you, his fingers grasping your wrists in a featherlight touch and pulling them away from your face with a gentleness he wasn't sure he possessed.

"i– i could've lost you. you could've died and then i'd have to live without you, and i can't do that…" for the first time in a long time, simon feels the sting of tears in his eyes as he caresses the pulse on your wrists with his thumbs, "i'm sorry…"

"simon…" the way you utter him name sends his heart fluttering like a caged bird in his chest. you'd never called him anything other than ghost or lieutenant before now; he never thought he could enjoy hearing simply his name this much.

"i'm so fuckin' sorry, i'll never treat you like that again, i swear." his voice is weak. he presses his forehead to your fingertips to hide the anguish in his eyes. "i'm sorry, i love you, just… just let me down easy, yeah?"

there's another pause, yours and simon's ragged breaths the only sound disturbing the silence.

"why would i let you down?” you whisper from above him. the words send a jolt of shock through him, the implication halting his breathing for a moment as he processes what you mean.

"don’t say that…" he mutters, squeezing your wrists ever so slightly tighter, not quite ready to let go of you yet.

"i'm in love with you, too."

his head snaps up to meet your eyes. "no, you– " he sputters, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth despite the mask still hiding his terrified expression "you can't… you deserve so much better…"

"i don't care what you think i deserve," you wear a tiny smile as you pull his hand away, your tender hold on his wrist mirroring his own on yours.

"i’m– i’m not good for you." he feels the tears building up again, blurring his vision.

"shouldn’t that be for me to decide?"

simon can hardly believe what's happening, when you bring your other hand up to his cheek, caressing his face through the fabric. he still doesn't let go of your wrist.

"i don't… you– i can't–" his tongue can't seem to form the words as he gazes up into your eyes, the kindness and warmth there overwhelming his senses. "i can't be what you want."

"you already are what i want." you sink to the floor as well, lifting your other hand to cup his face with a blinding smile. "i love you, simon."

for a moment, all he can do is revel in the warmth that bleeds through the fabric of his mask from your hands, pushing his face more into your touch like an affectionate cat.

a desperate noise escapes the back of his throat, his eyes fluttering shut. "...say it again?" he whispers the plea.

he feels your lips on the bridge of his nose, and his eyes snap back open at the sensation. "i love you, simon. more than anything." you murmur, shuffling closer when you kneel between his legs and pressing your forehead to his.

simon thinks he could die happy in this moment. to think, all the pain of the last couple of weeks – the last year, really – had all amounted to this, and can't help but think about what and idiot he'd been up until this point; to have waited this long to feel your touch, it was almost unthinkable.

he sighs, his breathing still evening out. "i'm so sorry…" he whispers. he goes to snake one arm around your waist, but hesitates just before touching you. as of sensing his dilemma, you give him a pleasant hum, wordlessly giving him permission to place his hand firmly on your back. he brings you that much closer with it, the feeling of holding someone a novelty to him.

"i'll forgive you, on two conditions." you reply. simon can sense the smile in your voice even with his eyes closed.

"anything."

"one, we talk to each other from now on, properly." you begin, and simon nods as adequately as he can with your forehead still against his. "second, you have to go on a date with me– to atone."

at that he opens his eyes, pulling back slightly and looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "not sure that counts as a punishment, love."

you chuckle, meeting his sceptical gaze with a playful glint in your eyes. "it is, because you're cooking."

he chuckles, deep and rumbling in his chest, and drops his forehead gently back to yours, allowing his eyes to flutter closed again.

he'd cook for you for the rest of his life if you asked, if it meant he could stay like this, with you.

taglist p1: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicyy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @sunshiinegaz , @imonmykneessir , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona ,

@alanalanalanalanalanna , @cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev , @clear-your-mind-and-dream , @thrivig-n-jiving , @lesterous , @glitterypirateduck , @slu77ym4nw415ts , @livelaugh-light , @trulylavendedarling , @stateofcatatonia , @rivalriotrenegade , @yoichiislovie , @nirvanaaaonly , @ameliaamareeee , @sapientiia , @thesecretwriter , @susanmukami , @ryze1113 , @stars-andfreckles , @spya1 , @tunaa-luvchrm , @tzutology (p2 in separated reblog)

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #mw2 x reader #cod x reader #141 x reader #call of duty x reader #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #roosterr writes

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inkk-tv · 1 month ago

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[ ꜰᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ᴘᴜʙ ɢᴏʟꜰ : ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ]

Admittedly, it's only when she's standing in the park across from the first pub that she realises exactly what she's gotten herself into. "This feels unfair." "Aw, come on Luce," Arthur says with half a smile, swapping his t-shirt for their team kit. "Have a bit of faith."

in which: Lucy is reluctantly recruited into Chris' pub golf video at the last minute, but it turns out to be very worth it.

4.7k words [ masterlist ] [ part two ]

[oc x arthurtv x chrismd] [warnings: excessive drinking, sexual inudendos]

There’s a certain risk that comes with renting an office in a building full of youtubers. Mainly being ambushed in the kitchen by a camera for a reaction or her two cents on whatever challenge video was underway is not an uncommon occurrence. Although, being fully roped into a video is never too far out of the realm of possibility.

Luckily, there’s only one person with the gaul to break into her office, and that’s Chris.

It’s been affectionately nicknamed, ‘the fishbowl’.

Sitting right on the hallway's bend, with two walls and a giant door of nothing but glass that means anyone who steps out the lift can see right into her office. Hence the name. Once she showed up to find someone had stuck fish and bubble stickers all over the windows- she’s pretty sure it was Sam, who does all her captioning, but she’s never gotten him to confess it.

It’s a pretty decent workspace despite the lack of privacy. Lucy’s desk is off to one side, and the three desks for her London-based employees are in a little cluster to the right of it. Only Shelly, the head editor and Lucy had been in today, but it’s nearing five pm and Shelly had headed off about twenty minutes prior, so it’s just Lucy hauled up alone working on a script as she hides from the rest of the building.

Chris invites himself in. As always. For some reason, the wall of glass just doesn’t present the same barrier to him as it does to everyone else.

She glances up as the door hinges open, the soundproofing scraps against the carpet before closing with a soft click. There’s something a little frantic in his expression- not exactly panic, but stress maybe- and he’s got a white monster energy can that's dripping condensation in one hand and a takeaway bag from the fish and chip shop two blocks over that uses the perfect amount of salt, in the other.

Lucy is no fool. She knows a bribe when she sees one. "No."

All the tension leaks from his shoulders as Chris heaves a defeated sigh, falling back onto the two seater couch just inside the door. "But I haven't even asked yet."

"But you brought me an incentive." She points out and Chris leans over to thunk the can down on the corner of her desk he could reach. Lucy scrunches her nose up at the ring of water that settles underneath it. "You didn't even do that last time and that involved having footballs booted at me for three hours."

Objectively, Lucy has fun on the ChrisMD channel. She’d always been an active person and while the dreams of being a professional athlete did not work out for her like many others, she does still like sports, especially if they’re team based. Chris’s videos are perhaps the most fun variant of them she’s experienced since quitting her Sunday league team back in uni.

But Lucy drew a hard line in the sand after the break up.

The problem with having fun on Chris’ videos, is that somewhere along the line, wires got a bit crossed. Lucy isn’t really all too sure when it happened, but she remembers realising. Looking at Chris, and realising she fancied him. It was four months before, and she spent all of it agonising over every conversation they had, kicking herself for liking a taken man, beating herself up over every word or glance as the guilt of it all ate away at her.

Then he was single and the biggest motivator for Lucy to shut her fucking mouth and stomp down her feelings, she got a little worried things would run away from her. She wasn’t keen to make a mess of things, in private or on the internet, so she took a step back.

It does help that in her last appearance on the ChrisMD channel, she took a particularly solid shot from Simon Minter to the stomach during the World Cup Ball video. A few days later, Lucy's flatmate had bullied her into going to A and E where they found out she’d managed to acquire a cracked rib.

Simon- bless him- still apologises every time she runs into him.

Lucy doesn’t know how to thank him for giving her a reasonable excuse to avoid Chris for an extended period of time.

"You had fun." Chris points out with a roll of his eyes, unpacking the takeaway bag to set two boxes on the coffee table in front of him, opening one and digging into a calamari meal.

"And a broken bone."

Another sigh. "This isn't goal keeping."

Lucy's hands still over her keyboard, little cursor blinking on page is of what was going to be a 12 page script. She huffs a breath, telling herself that she will at least hear the man out.

It was a stupid thing really, fancying him. It’s probably one of those prolonged exposure things, she spent so much time with him that things got blurry in her mind. But the controlled exposure has been working. No more nights out if he was going and no one on one hang outs for the past few months have really helped her get a handle on things. Make the lines of platonic and romantic a little clearer in her head.

Even if he’s grown a beard that looks annoyingly good on him. She’s allowed to appreciate it without fancying him. Or at least, that’s how she tries to tell her flatmate.

Lucy had put measures in place, a little bit of distance to get over her puppy crush and they had been working.

The little bubbliness she used to get has been smothered in the past few months. They’d done Chip’s karting race together just fine and she’s been significantly more invested in the occasional hinge date she secures. Lucy’s building her way up towards nights out again, knowing that he’ll be there and trusting her mouth to not run away from her. Maybe filming with him would be good- keeping her contained to the version of herself that the internet is allowed to see, the version that never fancied one of her coworkers.

When she pushes her chair out from the desk and turns to level Chris with a look, considering it for a few long moments before sighing and looking up to the ceiling, already regretting what she hasn't agreed to yet. There's a smile on Chris' face - he knows he's won. Apparently, Ciaran Carlin managed to snag himself a case of food poisoning the day of Chris' 'pub golf' shoot ("thought you did football content" - "Its football themed.") so they were down one whole player. Hence why Chris was there, a few moments from dropping to his knees to beg.

Lucy is, admittedly an outlier amongst the office. At least in terms of content creation. It's actually the Fellas Studio building, but those who invested in the business to help the boys get it up and running, like Chris and Lucy, have their own office space inside. She makes video essays with the occasional social commentary video mixed in - a far cry from Chris' football challenges or the min-maxing style of videos that seems to have taken over the platform in the last few years.

So their friendship has stayed mostly off camera, as she doesn’t often have people on her main channel, posting occasional vlogs on her second channel but he’s only ever made the cut once or twice. The most the internet knows of Lucy Bell and Chris Dixon is that he’s roped her into a few football challenges over the years.

When it comes to Chris’s channel, Lucy does make for a good feature. She’s just tipped over four million subscribers in the last few months, with almost a completely different audience, so it brings in a lot of new viewers. She’s not half bad at football either, a few years playing football in uni meant she could keep up with most of the UK YouTube scene if Chris begged nicely enough.

"Alright, but it’s an extra twenty quid for each time you bite me."

The biting gets her every time. She’s always had a bit of a thing for it, teeth marks and hickeys. It’s a condition that Lucy adds to save her own sanity more than anything.

See, there’s something about Chris when he’s drunk that just makes the man want to bite. Sink his teeth into whichever friend is closest after a pint or two. Doesn’t matter where, hand arm or neck- he’s even gone for her ear once. He’s not handsy per-say, because none of it was sexual really, but it couldn’t be called clingy either because he got way too mean.

Cuteness aggression seems to fit the bill. But no matter what someone was to call it, the fact is, Chris gets his teeth out when he’s drinking.

Maybe charging him for it will be enough to remind him not to.

Chris grins. "Done."

Turns out, the pub golf ‘night-out’ she had been lured into starts at one pm.

Admittedly, it's only when she's standing in the park across from the first pub that she realises exactly what she's gotten herself into. "This feels unfair."

The line up was clearly in no way designed for fairness. With the 'English team' consisting of Lucy, Chris and Arthur-TV, going against the 'German Team' of Stephen Tries, Bambino Becky and Harry Wroetoshaw.

Now Lucy isn’t a lightweight- at least not proportionally. For a woman of five five, she could hold her drink. But Chris Dixon on the other hand, who was the same height, most definitely was a lightweight. There was not a whole lot of faith to be put in their alcohol tolerance.

"Aw, come on Luce," Arthur says, swapping his t-shirt for their team kit. "Have a bit of faith."

She ducks her head to hide the quick frown that flashes over her face. There’s only two people who call her ‘Luce’ and that’s Chris and her flatmate, Spencer. It’s obvious where he’s picked it up from and the thought of Chris chatting about her to one of his friends with such familiarity is enough to make her stomach flutter. Today was not going to be good.

Lucy's met Arthur before, in passing. At parties or events, seen him at the office once or twice when he'd presumedly come to film with someone. He’s good friends with George and Arthur Hill too. She knows him and Chris have been mates since school, and that he's one of the most frequent victims of the ChrisMD channel. Miraculously, she's never ended up on a set with him before.

She hopes he holds his drink well.

"A little hard to have faith when Becky and Harry are gonna drink us under the table." She says, thumbing at the team jersey she’s been given.

It’s soft, more so than she expected.

Football has never much been Lucy’s thing. She was on a team during her uni years, but that was more social than competitive. She owns a couple of kits, her old uni jersey that was mainly a work shirt and the Brighton Jersey her brother bought her for Christmas one year- Lucy makes sure to wear it whenever she watches a game. But that’s about the extent of it, she’s never had much reason to go buy an official kit.

But apparently for the football-ification of pub golf, team jerseys were a must.

The tag says it’s their away kit from the 1990 world cup and the fabric is so abrasively red, Lucy feels like a stop sign when she pulls it on. It doesn’t help that it was originally bought for Ciaran, so it’s two sizes too large. Sadly it completely tanks her outfit, the black skater skirt and platform mary-janes with lacy white socks had gone so much better with the cosy white knit sweater she’d started the day in, but it does sort of work. Even if it makes her look like a pick-me girl.

The collar slips about on her shoulders and Lucy pulls the collar about a little, trying to make it sit properly, which apparently, Chris takes as an invitation.

He comes up from behind and drapes his arms over her shoulders- not exactly unusual behaviour from him, but it does typically take a few more drinks. There’s not even a moment of hesitation before Chris sinks his teeth into the meat of her shoulder, biting down. Not hard enough to hurt exactly, more like a pinch.

She doesn’t yelp but grunts a little, swatting at his hair to duck out of his grip. When he backs off, there’s a dark semi-circle on the jersey, highlighting where he’d bitten at the material. “Right. That’s twenty quid then.”

Chris blinks, then rolls his eyes. ��What? No, come one. We haven’t even started filming yet.”

He’s smiling though, watching as Lucy digs a black marker out of her purse and bites the lid off to draw a thick line on the inside of her right forearm. “A deal is a deal, Chris.”

“We’ll if we’re keeping track like that, someone else has to be in charge of the pen.” He plucks it from her fingers and Lucy goes to swipe it back but he pulls it up high above both their heads.

She could snatch it back. They’re about the same height; every time someone whips out a tape measure they end up with a different answer to who is taller, so it always depends on the shoes. Today, she’s even wearing platforms with more than enough heel to beat out Chris' white air forces but Lucy’s not sacrificing a single sliver of her dignity to jump for the marker.

Perhaps realising that she’s not taking the bait, he holds it out to Arthur instead, who has been watching them with a raised eyebrow. “What’s this then?”

“Lucy agreed to be in the video, if I paid her twenty pounds each time I bit her.” Chris says, looking a little proud of himself for some reason, as if wrangling her into a video was some sort of impressive feat. “But I don’t trust her to not just draw a bunch of lines.”

“Damn. That’s smart, you’ll make a couple hundred quid today, easy.” Arthur plucks the marker out of Chris’ fingers and looks at it a little funny. “Will you give me twenty every time you bite me?”

The marker is tucked away into the pocket of his shorts with a grin.

“You were coming no matter what.”

“With you looking like that, damn right I was.” Arthur holds his hand up for a high-five, probably more of a reflex than anything. Chris doesn't go for it, but Lucy does, swinging up to her tiptoes, to clap her palm against his.

“Come on,” He grins at Lucy, keeping their hands clasped for a few seconds with the momentum and it has her feeling a little better about the afternoon ahead.

One of the film crew, Sam she thinks his name is, waves Lucy over to mic her up. They make their way through the ‘before game interviews’, with the warning they will be spliced with the aftermath that was to be recorded at the last pub.

"Are you going to enjoy today?" Chris pokes the mic against the tip of her nose and Lucy scrunches it up a little at the feeling of scratchy foam.

"Considering I was bribed to be here, no." She plays the reluctant friend well, but they both know she’d been happy to help Chris out in his time of crisis and that she probably wouldn’t end up chasing him up about the money she was supposedly charging him per bite.

The first two holes (“It’s Goal, Luce. Use the right terminology.”) left their team with a rather bleak outlook.

Lucy’s played enough drinking games in her life to be able to down a pint in one go, so that isn’t a problem. She chugs the IPA, so while it’s down in one, Lucy is left with a bitter taste in her mouth, complaining to the table that if she was forced to drink beer, it should at least be lager. Arthur and Chris both down theirs in one, but are cautioned for shit jokes and chose to do a shot each instead of taking the additional points.

The second pub is no hands, white sambuca shots, but they get a bench so it’s not much hassle to lean down and get her lips around the glass rim and knock it back.

But when they’re done, and Arthur’s wandered off, her, Chris and Harry pounce on his backpack to turn it inside out. It makes her feel like she’s back in secondary playing silly pranks when someone leaves their bag unattended. Tragically he comes back with the news that he’s thrown up. Twice. There’s an attempt to blame the McDonalds wrap he’d scranned a bit too quickly but Calfreezey is not a forgiving referee and they are penalised three points, leaving them at seven as Chris has failed to down his shot in one.

“We are not winning that dominos pizza.” Arthur whines, frowning down at his inside out bag.

Lucy holds her hands out, an unspoken gesture that he accepts with a smile and starts piling his belongings into her hands. “Cheer up Mr.Television. I’ll Deliveroo one to the last pub.”

“And ruin Chris’ incentive? Where’s your competitive spirit Miss Bell?” He quips back, grabbing a fist full of his bag’s canvas and turning it back out the right way, shoving his pencil case and jacket back into it.

There’s an instinct to roll her eyes at the last name but fair is fair. She did sort of do it to him first. “I think winning for us is already a lost cause. Becky and Harry can outdrink us all.”

Arthur zips his bag up and swings it over his shoulders, heading for the door but glancing back at her as he speaks. “Not Stephen?”

“He’s more of a mascot I think.” Lucy muses, skipping up to his side and out the door as he holds it with one hand. “Like Chris.”

“Fair enough, they are the two lightweights.” He says, jutting his chin out to where Chris and Stephen were squabbling a good hundred metres up the footpath. “You seem a bit better at handling the beers than Chris to be honest.”

She can’t quite stop the way her nose scrunches at the memories of parties and chundering in bushes out the front of train stations. Lucy hisses through her teeth. “Yeah, I had a few too many nights out in Uni. Spiked my tolerance.”

There’s this little quirk of Arthur’s head, like he’s a curious cat that’s been offered a toy mouse to play with. “I didn’t know you went to uni, what did you study?”

“Journalism. Hence the video essays- if you know what kind of videos I do.”

“Not to brag, but I'm kind of subscribed.” He puts on a little bit of a voice, an impression of the typical ‘nice guy’ when he says it with an exaggerated roll of the eyes that earns a smile.

“Really?” This time it’s Lucy who’s tilting her head, peering up at him a little from under the few loose strands of hair that hang over her forehead and it makes Arthur sort of sheepish.

“Oh yeah,” He pulls out his phone and opens the youtube app. She’s in his subscriptions tab, along the top bar even. “I really like the rage bait one. And the one about the barbie movies.”

“You actually watch my videos?” He must do. The rage bait one was recent but Lucy’s deep-dive into the animated barbie movies of the early two-thousands was from her uni days, buried under six years of more recent uploads.

“Yeah, they’re good. Informative, funny.”

Lucy blushes. “Flattery gets you everywhere, Arthur. I’ll check out your channel after today, promise.”

“It’s not much, a lot of reality TV content- hence the name. I started with Airline freakouts and ended up with ninety-day fiancé.” He holds out his phone for her to take with his own channel pulled up.

She flicks though, and it is admittedly a lot of ninety-day fiancé, but when she flicks the ‘popular’ filter on, some of the thumbnails look kind of familiar. “Wait, like the old ‘Airline UK’ show? I used to watch some of those.”

Arthur grins. “Really?”

“Yeah, just compilations of the passengers screaming at the easy jet desk.”

There’s a mental note to watch them when she gets home (pr depending on how drunk she ends up, tomorrow) and see if they’re familiar.

It happens every now and then, watching a video then realising years later you’ve just met the person who made it. A couple of months after meeting George Clarkey at the gym she realised she’d watched him chase a beep around his garage on tiktok a year earlier.

“Maybe you saw some of mine.” Arthur offers a little shyly, as if he’s nervous about suggesting it. “They did decent numbers. It’s how I got started with youtube.”

“Yeah?”

He hums in agreement. “Needed something to pay the bills in Uni and youtube ended up being way more fun than Law.”

Lucy can’t help the judgemental tone that sneaks into her voice. “You studied Law?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.” He scoffs with a smile.

“No you’re just nicer than all the other law students I met while in Uni. Most of them were right pricks.”

Especially the one she’d dated in second year. He’d been good at first, but after a couple of pints he was anyone's. The guy played up on her all the time and it wasn’t until he tried hitting on the first year who’d just moved into Lucy’s student Accommodation that she finally called it off.

After that, all the law students who tried to chat her up at the Uni bars left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Not Arthur though. He isn’t quite a law student, she supposes, he’s a youtuber and Lucy does get on well with most of the UK scene. They were a good bunch and any of the dickheads were pretty easy to weed out- there is a couple she fully avoids, simply because she couldn’t be arsed putting up with them. Lucy scribbles Arthur’s name on the mental list of people she wouldn’t mind chatting to at the next party.

He’s got decent chat, certainly better than some of the dull people she’s put up with out of politeness and when he smiles, it’s a flash of pearly white. Teeth that all line up perfect- save for his pointed canines. She could stand to see it a bit more often, carve out some space for it in her chest amongst the fluttering of butterflies. “Flattery gets you everywhere, Luce.”

“Hurry up you two, stop dawdling!” Chris shouts from out the front of pub number three.

They wave him off with a few jeered ‘yeah, yeah’s but do pick up the pace a little.

“I meant to ask earlier,” Arthur says. “Want to put your purse in my bag? it looks like it’s bothering you.”

Her purse has been bothering her. It was the one she’d taken into the office and was more for fashion than function, a little black leather crossbody bag that she’s had over one shoulder so it doesn't make her boobs look weird on camera. It’s only really got her phone, earbuds and keys in it. She’s been keeping it at her hip with one hand but it’s getting tiring. “Yeah, thanks Arthur.”

He tucks it away gently, with much more care than he’d had with his own portable charger and pencil case a few minutes earlier. Arthur’s sweeter than she expected.

Not many of the youtube boys were sweet. Nice, friendly even, but part of being amongst them meant she could take the banter and hard hitting. Catch hurled comments that strangers would say border on cruel with her bleeding hands and hurl them back. There’s an added layer, being a woman online appearing on channels with a male dominated audience. A thick oily sheen that taints the comments of collab videos.

But Lucy has managed to find the youtubers she could stomach, some of which she spends more time with than others. George is her gym buddy, even if he’s been slacking lately. Will lacks enough of a social life that he tends to rot in the office just as late as she does so they always end up ordering Deliveroo and shit talking for an extra hour or two. She doesn’t mind the occasional pint with Harry or Tobi either. They’re all sweet, but sweet enough that it's threatening to make her blush? Well, only Chris made that far.

Lucy tucks that thought away and settles into the seat at the end of the table, tapping the toes of her shoes together idly as the production team set up go-pros and camera angles.

Pub number three was goalie rules. Six seconds to down a pint and it had to be done with keeper gloves.

All six sets set on the table are Large and it looks utterly ridiculous when they all don the gloves. Black and green leathery material that’s oddly padded on the inside, it feels weird enough that it sort of captivates her for a few moments, the new sensation against her hands. Lucy keeps balling her fists up then splaying her fingers again, listening to the scrunch of them before pressing her hands flat against the table to feel the padding compress and spring back up slightly when she released the pressure.

Arthur has a similar reaction, although he just starts running his hands over everything. From the wooden table to his own legs. Down Lucy’s right forearm where it rests on the table, over Chris’s head. The latter of which, he does so much that it actually gets a reaction, which Lucy is starting to think most of Arthur’s oddities don’t.

“Stop rubbing my head!” Chris squeaks, ducking away from Arthur’s widespread palms that are messing up his quiff. “Rub the head I want to be rubbed!”

Lucy snorts into her keeper glove when Chris gestures rudely to his crotch and Stephen goes to kick it from under the table.

Thankfully, before things can devolve into more dick jokes, a member of Chris’s team brings over a tray of pints.

Lucy and Arthur both get it down in one, but Chris fails- laughing after about an inch and having to set the drink down. Easy to say, no one is impressed and he earns them a yellow card for time wasting.

“How have you done worse than the females?” Arthur jokes, setting Chris’ still half full glass between Lucy and Becky’s empty ones.

“We’ll take ourselves back to the kitchen.” Becky declares, raising a hand for a high five that Arthur meets- an assurance that it’s all jokes- before leaning in to stage whisper to Lucy. “There might be pints in there.”

Despite England's mostly good performance, Calfreezy once again proves that he’s out to get them as he issues two yellows and a red card. Lucy and Chris take the penalty shots- tequila upon request- and there’s three points added to their tally as well.

It burns the back of her mouth and stings against her tongue. Whichever production member had fetched their shots did not return with the curiosity of a chaser. Still, it’s easier to down than a pint so Lucy takes what she can get.

Although, everyone seems to be under the impression that it’s going to finish her. Probably because she keels over coughing after getting it down. It’s the closest Lucy’s come to spitting out a drink all afternoon, which is saying something considering the IPA at the first pub was utter shit.

Her reaction has Steven so confident in his team’s performance that he starts demanding forfeits, anything from shots of the winners choice to public spankings in ‘piccadilly square’.

While Lucy focuses on not tripping over the drag of her platform shoes, the taste of tequila lingers on her tongue and haunts her all the way to the next pub.

[ masterlist ] [ part two ]

ink note: and we are underway! thanks so much for reading! feel free to send asks about the fic or check out the notes at the bottom of Lucy's masterlist to see how this fic is going to develop.

[ if you would like to be added to the fic's tag list, let me know in an ask and you'll be tagged when each chapter goes up :) ]

#arthurtv #arthurtv fics #arthurtv x oc #arthurtv x chrismd #arthur frederick #arthur frederick x oc #arthur frederick fics #chrismd #chrismd x oc #chrismd fics #chrismd x arthurtv x oc #chris dixon #chris dixon fics #chris dixon x oc

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missmielyhoran · 2 years ago

Text

Denial

face calim- Lily James

Masterlist // Series Masterlist

[Warning- Angst, Cheating, smut but not written, crying, alcohol consumption, more crying, suicidal thoughts, people not knowing meaning of privacy, Hayden being a bitch]

Liked by Harryfan2, Y/Nfan3, Harryfan1 and 663,989 others

Y/Nupdates Y/N out with kids in London today getting ice cream.

View all comments.

Harryfan1 Milf fr

Harryfan2 Where are the kids?

Y/Nfan1 They're cropped out. Harry and Y/N didn't want their faces to be public yet.

Y/Nfan3 Is it just me, or have you guys also noticed that Harry has not seen with kids for a long time

Harryfan3 Maybe he's busy with new album and stuff

Y/Nfan1 No me too

Y/Nfan2 @/Harryfan3 he was seen with his friends at pub few days ago

Harryfan5 Aww she bought flowers for Harry

*****

They say that when someone dies, their whole life flashes before their eyes. The good, the bad, all moments move in front of their eyes like a movie, that's how you felt when you opened the door of your bedroom.

A movie of your marriage dying.

You were going through your day like normal. Your shooting had ended early, so you decided to pick up the kids from school and take them out for ice cream. They were now standing in the kitchen. You could hear their muffled giggles while you stood upstairs in front of your room like a mannequin watching your husband scramble and quickly put on clothes.

"Fuck- Baby I can explain-" Harry tried to approach you, but you couldn't look at him or react to his words. Your eyes remained trained on the woman lying on the bed, on your bed. Sheets up to her chest, her head perched up on her arm while she looked straight in your eyes without any shame or remorse. Oh no, she had a smirk on her lips.

"Kids are downstairs," You motioned with your thumb downstairs, "I- I'm going to drop them off, and then we will..." You couldn't complete the sentence. You felt like your body was on autopilot as you went downstairs and ushered the kids back to the car, your and Harry's four years old daughter asking why she couldn't see her dad and what could you say?

"He has some important work to do. Why don't you guys have a sleepover at Elliott's tonight?" You asked them, putting all your acting skills out there to hide the waver in your voice. Elliot was your ex-boyfriend and father of your eldest son Emiel.

"Yayyy" Amie clapped her hands, excited to hang out with her best friend. Meanwhile, Emiel stayed silent and looked at his mom from the passenger seat. You knew he knew something was wrong, considering he was older and much more aware of his surroundings than your little girl.

You just sighed and kept driving to Elliott's house. Soon enough, they arrived at the familiar small cottage-esc house. You got out of the car and then unstrapped Amie from the seat belt. As soon as you put her down, Amie ran towards the door and knocked on it, being too short to reach the doorbell. Emiel laughed and picked her up so she could ring the bell.

Soon enough, Elliot was opening the door with the biggest smile on his face. "If it isn't my two favorite people," He exclaimed and pulled both of them in hugs. Behind him, his Fiancé laughed at his antics, and she smiled a bit, too.

"Mom said we're having a sleepover!" Amie screamed near Em's ear, making him groan. It's then Elliot looked up, his blue eyes met her tired ones, and he knew something was wrong considering they were friends for a long time.

"Em, why don't you take her inside with Bran?" He smiled at his son, and Bran took them inside, talking about something.

"Are you okay?" Elliot immediately asked, and you shook your head. Your brain was still too jummbled to speak or to cry or to be angry or even comprehend what had happened.

"Why don't you come inside for a second and drink some water? I fear you might pass out from the way you're looking so pale." He looked at you concerned, and before you could protest, Elliott pulled you inside.

You sat on the dinner table and looked out to the garden, finding Em holding Amie in his arms, her head on his shoulder. The tiredness of school and excitement finally caughting up to her and knocked her out.

You took your phone out and clicked a picture, them being the only hope she could grasp on at the moment.

Elliot didn't ask any questions. He understood that if you wanted to talk, you would. He just stood there as emotional support staring at their kids as you drank the water.

"I might need them to be here for a few days before I sort things out. I hope you don't mind." You asked Elliott, looking up at him sadly. "You hurt me, sucre. Of course I don't mind." He shook his head and pulled you in a hug.

*****

Liked by Y/Nfan1, Annetwist, Harryfan4 and 1,987,456 others

Yourinstagram Mon chéri

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User1 Omg babiess

User2 That's Emiel? He has gotten so big

User3 I mean he's 13 now

User2 the small Gucci bag🥺she's soo like harry

annetwist Oh my sweet babies...miss you so much

Yourinstagram miss you too mom🥺

User4 still can't get over that she calls Anne mom😭

User4 Harry didn't comment?

*****

When you arrived at you-Harry's house, the sun was setting. You was dreading the conversation that was bound to happen. Six years went down the drain in a few hours.

Your whole life felt like a lie.

Harry was sitting on the couch when you walked inside. A major part of you hoped he had some explanation, that it wasn't what it looked like or that it was just a mistake. But when you walked more inside and saw her there still after everything, your heart cracked a bit more.

"Y/N," Harry breathed out, his voice coming out in heaves as if he's out of breath, but you knew him. You knew he was just nervous.

He looked so young when he was sad, his eyes droopy yet shining, the mess of curls and clenched jaw reminded you of the early Harry who stole your heart.

Now, he reminded you of the one that broke it.

"Why is she still here?" was asked first thing first you asked. Harry looked behind him, and Hayden just shrugged and plopped down on the kitchen bar stool eating chips while scrolling through her phone.

"Emotional support for him after you leave" She said with a wink pointed at Harry.

"I just thought it would be better to talk with all of us here," he said, fiddling with his fingers, as if searching for a ring on his ring finger, but there wasn't one. Now that you think of it, you hadn't seen him wear it in so long.

You should have seen the signs.

All you could do was nod. You sat down far away from him on the loveseat, which was ironic cause there was no love in the atmosphere.

"I-" Harry started but couldn't. He closed his mouth again and opened it again, gaping like a goldfish. He looked at you, and you looked at him. Your husband, the person you loved the most after your kids, your first love, your everything.

"How long?" You asked, looking at Harry with dead eyes. It had nothing in them, no spark, nothing just lifeless saphire stones to see.

"Five months," Harry said, looking down at the rug, unable to look into your eyes.

Five months...

They were at your parents' house for Thanksgiving six months ago. The first time, he met Hayden after being with you for almost seven years. He never met your sister, and there was a reason for that.

"Thanksgiving," you mumbled out to herself more than to anyone. He fell out of love with you for so long, and you didn't even know.

"Why, Harry?" You finally asked. You still couldn't cry. No, you still had no expression on your face. You felt like a ghost, pale, feelingless, breathing ghost.

"I don't know," He said, his own lips wobbling.

"I'm going upstairs, babe. Come when you sort this out." Hayden said, walking towards the stairs like she owned the house, "See ya, sis!" She yelled from the top of stairs.

Awkward silence sat between them. The lovers who were laughing, kissing, and playing with their kids just this morning are now sitting in a souless house with a dead relationship.

How can things change so fast?

"Y/N" Harry called you softly. You looked up hopefully, thinking he would say it now, say anything to save whatever was left. You could make a home out of ashes, but for that you did need the ashes.

"I think it's better if you stay here. The kids will not be able to adjust somewhere els-" Harry spoke but stopped when he heard a sniffle.

For the first time since you walked in on them, tears flooded down your face. In just a moment, your eyes were blood red, glistening with tears.

"Where will you live?" You asked with your wobbling voice. A frown took over Harry's face watching you cry, but he was to blame for that.

"I didn't mean for it to happen this way Y/N" he said guiltily.

"Then which way did you want Harry?" You shouted at him, "Having one of our kids walk in on you two, or were you thinking of running away with her? or just wake up one day and throw divorce papers on my face?" You asked, your crying increased, making you choke on it and go into coughing fit.

Harry on instinct went to help you, but you raised your hand, stopping him. "Don't." You shook your head and stood up, calming down your coughing fit.

"I just thought I would talk to you," Harry mummbled his head down, looking at floor.

"You thought you would talk to me. Was this thought came before you stick your dick into my sister or after that?" You asked him clearly angry. You were still crying, your knees felt weak, and your head felt dizzy.

"Harry, we still have time. I- we can still be together just throw her out of house and never see her again. I will not go to my parents' house but please." You fell down to your knees sobbing. You wanted to save the only real thing you ever had, the only person you ever loved, who had been through her thick and thin. You needed him. You needed him for the kids.

Harry was looking down at you sympathetically, his own tears falling down. He felt too much shame to look in your eyes when you looked up at up for answers.

"I don't-" He choked a bit, "I love her Y/N" He whispered.

The final nail was in, the corpse was six feet under, there was no ashes to make home from.

You stilled on the ground, then a loud sob broke from you. You cried with your legs tucked to her chest in a fetal position on the floor. Harry came beside you and brought you to his chest. This time, you didn't move away or push him. You clutched onto his shirt, fully sobbing into it.

You digged your nose into his neck, and the shirt smelled like you. Even after everything, he still smelled like you, but it didn't matter now, did it?

The two lovers cried, holding each other, knowing that once they broke away. Everything else would also be broken.

You didn't know how long it had been. You just knew Harry's shirt was fully wet with your tears, and all you could hear was his heartbeat.

You pulled away from him and looked up in his glistening green eyes and after everything for some reason your eyes held hope.

Maybe it was denial after all they do say it's thr first stage of grief.

But you still knew you had to get out of this house. So, you got up and fixed your clothes to best of your knowledge, tears still falling from your eyes.

You didn't say anything just made your way towards the door concerning Harry. "Y/N were are you going?" He asked following behind you.

"Kids are wt Elliot's" Was all you said as you got into the car and drove off. You didn't know where you were going but you just wanted to go far away from all this.

You weren't a mother who knew her daughter didn't go to sleep until she told her a bedtime story or a wife who just got cheated on by her husband. No, you were just a broken soul who got betrayed by a person who vowed never to hurt her.

You drove in autopilot like you have been for the whole day, how you were alive you didn't know. How many cars and trucks you have doged you didn't know, you didn't even know where you were.

It was a bridge of some kind, you would thinking living in this place for so long would grant you the knowledge of where you are but you didn't know shit. Parking on the side of the road you turned off the car and pulled your windows down. The night cold air filled up the car, making your nose and ears red immediately.

You looked around the place, the small city lights twinkling in the diatance, people returning to their homes. Many who will return to a empty space many to someone waiting for them but you? You lost your home.

Having so much money and fame couldn't give you back your home.

You cried, you cried until you couldn't. You cried until all the tears were drained and all there wad left was a ragining headache and heartache.

You got out of the car and stood near the bridge. Your hair blew in the cold air and somehow you knew you have caught cold. You hugged your coat closer to you searching for any type of warmth.

Putting your hands on the metal bridge you leaned into it more. The rings you were wearing clinked against the metal making you look down to your hands and there it was the pretty diamond he especially got made for you, the one that once held a promise, a promise of faithfulness, love and family and some how in just couple hours you lost all of that or maybe you lost it six months ago just didn't realize it.

You took it off. It didn't held any meaning now did it?

You started crying again. It felt like once the dam broke, it didn't want to stop, but maybe that was for the best. You had kids to be strong for.

Oh god the kids...

What were you going to tell them? Maybe Harry would come back for the kids? He didn't love you but kids? He would come for them, right?

You were soo consumed in you misery you didn't realize your phone was constantly ringing in car or the texts or that from cross the bridge couple of girls were taking your pics.

*****

Harry was getting scared.

When you left the house, he thought you would go to Elliot's house, but you weren't there, and now both of them were constantly blowing up your phone to get a hold of you.

You were in no shape of driving. He should have stopped you, but like most of his decisions, he had nothing to do but regret on them.

He walked back to the couch and plopped down. Hayden was still in the bedroom upstairs. The bedroom that was once yours and his. It felt wrong cause it was wrong, wasn't it? But he loved Hayden, so it has to be right? right?

He looked up from his lap, and his eyes went straight to the flowers sitting on the coffee table. It was a habit of yours to bring something home whenever you come back home early. Mostly, it was flowers or the sushi from the sushi place you both love and went to on your first date.

His heart grew heavy as he picked up the flowers, which might be the last one he ever receives from you. Before he could examine them more or cry over them, a pair of hands were taking them out of his hold.

"C'mon baby, let go to bed. I'm tired" Hayden pouted just like you used to, her same yet different eyes as yours looking back at him, and he couldn't resist. He gave her a somber nod and stood up, making his way upstairs. Once he was out of eyeshot, Hayden threw away the flowers in dustbin and happily made her way to the bedroom.

*****

Liked by Y/Nfan2, Y/Nfan4, Harryfan5 and 482,786 others

Y/Nnews Y/N spotted by some fans near the bridge.

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User1 Why she looks so sad?

User2 I met her..it was my friends who took the picture. I tried to tell them not to but they didn't listen.

User3 What happened?

User2 She looked sad and tired. I mean it's hard being mom but she her usual aura was down like she's usually so chirpy and happy but she looked like she didn't want to be disturbed so we didn'task for a picture.

User3 Yet you invaded her privacy and took her pictures

User4 Is it just me or did anyone else seeing that she's not wearing her wedding ring?

User3 Omg yes I didn't realize

*****

You didn't know when you got here. All you know is Elliot somehow found you and brought you back to his house. He left you in the guest room and asked you to call him if you needed something.

You tossed and turned for hours in bed, or maybe it had been a few minutes, time didn't exist for you anymore. You got up to go to the kitchen and get some water when you saw the wine bottle. The temptation was bad, your fingers were itching, and your mouth went dry.

If there was any time to get wasted, it was this. The evil little voice in your head said and you gave in.

You took the bottle out of the cellar and sat down on the floor with your back against the kitchen counter. You brought the bottle to your lips, your hands shaking so badly that you almost dropped it.

The first drop felt like heaven. Like an old friend, you meet after a long time who you cut off cause you knew they were toxic, but the feeling of sweet reconnection and nostalgia still felt like bliss.

You were so in your head thinking about wine that you didn't see Bran coming to the kitchen or watching you from the doorway. He wanted to stop you but knew it wasn't his place, so he went back to his bedroom where his soon to be husband was sleeping.

"Babe," He shook him lightly, "Babe, wake up" He said a bit loudly, making him whine and grumble. He felt bad for a bit cause Bran knew that things have been hard, the school wasn't doing so well so he had to work extra but right now you needed him and Bran knew Elliot will blame himself if something happened to you.

"What happened?" Elliot asked, "I think you should talk to Y/N. She's is in the kitchen.." Bran paused, "Drinking".

That woke Elliot up, "But she hadn't drunk ever since she got cl-" "I know that's why I said go talk to her before things get worse"

You were halfway done with the bottle when Elliot came back to the kitchen. You were hitting the back of your head against the counter, filling the silent kitchen with a thumping noise.

"Y/N" He called out softly and for a second he wished he didn't. You looked like a mess your already ruined makeup was now in shambles, your eyes blood red and your lips were adoring a drunk smile.

"Put the bottle down Y/N you're hurting yourself" Elliot said, sitting next to you. You rolled your eyes and took a big gulp of the wine again.

"My life is already ruined. What's the worst can happen now?" You said laughing, but there was no humor in it. It was hollow like you felt. A hollow shell.

"You want to tell me what happened?" He asked quietly, trying to take the bottle from you by distracting you.

You burst into tears hearing his question. You wanted to tell him, tell him everything that happened, but your brain was not letting you talk. Like keeping it to yourself will make it go away. It was still in denial that it really happened.

"I don't know how to," you said in between sobs. Elliot pulled you to his side, his hand rubbing up and down your back, trying to soothe your crying.

"Harry-" you said and sobbed harder. "You want me to call him?" He asked, but you just shook your head.

"C'mon sucre tell me what's going on." He urged you to tell him. As time went by, Eilliot became more and more concerned. It wasn't like you to cry so much over a fight. You were the one who mostly solved them. So, it had to be something big for you to be here and crying rather than with Harry.

You stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating if you should tell him, but who else would you tell? He was the only friend you had except your little brother who was miles away in Sydney.

So you told him. You told him how your shooting wrapped up early, how you picked up kids, and went home to surpirse your husband only to get your heart broken in the worst way possible. How your husband of five years and almost seven years of love was now in love with someone else and that someone else was none other than your sister.

"I'm going to break his face!" Elliot seethed and scrambled to get up from beside you, but you took his arm and pulled him down back beside you, having no doubt he actually would.

"It will do nothing but harm to you and to him." You sighed, wiping your tears. You started to hate the feeling of being sober after crying, so you took swing of your wine again.

"I just don't understand how and what went wrong." You said staring at the cupboard's golden handle, "We were so happy this morning. I went to shooting, and he dropped kids to school I-" You choked on the lump in your throat.

"Do you think maybe he's doing this to get back at me for leaving him to go to Venice last minute?" You asked Elliot, "Do you think it's just a elaborate prank, I mean you know how Hayden is, she's bitch I won't be surprised if she came up with the idea of this prank."

Elliot looked at you with sad eyes, his hands rubbing your arms affectionately. "If it's a prank then it's one fucked up prank sucre so no I don't think it's a prank" Elliot said sadly looking at your sleepy eyes.

"It has to be. I mean, we were talking about having another baby after my shooting ended. Why would he want to have another baby if he didn't love me?" You asked him, hoping to get any just any answer to soothe the ache in your heart.

"I think you should ask that to him once you get a bit better. For now lets get you to bed" He said, taking the bottle out of your hand amd you let him. The physical and mental exhaustion of day caught up to you, and pairing that with wine had you sleepy.

Elliot carefully placed you on the bed and then put a glass of water and painkillers on the bedside table, knowing you would have a bad hangover since you drank after a very long time.

Sleep engulfed you soon enough, and you dreamt of the time your life wasn't in distress.

*****

Harry woke up in the morning and smiled when he felt soft hands around his torso. It was the part of the relationship he didn't experience with Hayden, but now he could do it as much as he wanted.

He turned around and pulled her in a lazy kiss, which soon turned heated and led to his boxers flying off from bed and his hands trailing around naked her body earing soft sounds from her.

Both of them fell asleep again. Harry woke up around 10 am to a hungry stomach. For a second, he was about to yell for you cause you always brought him breakfast in bed on weekends. Only to realize his mistake, but before he could feel bad, his eyes fell on similar blonde hair, fanning your his pillow, and he forgot everything.

He took a quick shower and got ready to get some coffee and breakfast. He decided to wake up Hayden to ask what she wanted. "Babe, wake up. I'm going to get breakfast. Do you want anything? " He asked her, getting a grumble in reply.

But then Hayden woke up fully alert. "I want to go with you!" She said excitedly, "I can finally have all for me please" She said pleading and how could he resist her?

She went to ready while Harry sat on couch downstairs going through his phone, but when Hayden took too long, he went to look for her.

He heard hushed voices behind the closed door, "Babe, are you ready?" He called her and opened the door. She stood there with a bright smile, her hair side parted with a white t-shirt and blue jeans much like his outfit.

"C'mon, let's go!" She said and took his hand in hers. Harry smiled and went with her. They sat in the car, and Harry brought her hands to his lips and drove off.

They arrived the hidden cafe they went most of the time cause it was in small area where most people didn't recognize him and there were no chances of him getting caught.

He ordered his usual, and so did Hayden, but as soon as they got out of the cafe with their food, the flash of the camera went off and then another. Harry went into full panic mode cause not only this will go back to you but to the whole world and quickly took Hayden's hand running to his car, dodging questions, and camera flash both.

Liked by Harryfan2, Y/Nfan2, Harryfan4 and 1,002,789 others

StylesNews Harry Styles seen out with mystery woman at secret cafe.

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Y/Nfan2 That's Y/N's sister wtf

Harryfan1 I didn't know she had a sister

Y/Nfan2 they're not that close, Y/N told in an interview.

Harryfan3 He's hanging out with her family aww

Harryfan4 they look a lot closer for my taste🤨

Y/Nfan1 IKR like that hand holding is suspicious

Harryfan4 I hope it's not what I'm thinking it is after seeing Y/N's pictures from yesterday

*****

Meanwhile, you woke up with the worst headache of your life. Thankfully, there were medicines and water beside your bed cause your throat felt dry as a dessert.

You walked out of your room groaning at the amount of light filtering through. "Good morning, sleepyhead." You heard your son say laughing.

"Good morning, mum. We made pancakes!" Your daughter squealed and held up pancakes with both of her hands above her head. You laughed and kissed her cheek.

"It looks delicious, baby and good morning to everyone," you said with a smile, forgetting about your pain for quite some time until your daughter asked you when they would be going home.

"What you got bored of me so fast?!" Bran fake hurt while you stood their staring at her thinking when were you going and where were you going cause you could go anywhere you wanted other than your home.

You were in literal, psychological, and in every sense homeless.

"Let mum have her coffee Amie, you know how she's without it." Elliot joked, and Bran picked Amie up, taking her to the living room to keep her busy, and Em followed them.

You took a mug out of the cupboard to make coffee while Elliot sat there looking at you with pity.

"How did you find me yesterday?" You asked, wanting to change the look in his eyes.

"Oh some girl posted you on twitter" He said biting into his pancake while you made your coffee.

"Someone posted me?" You asked and groaned when he nodded, "My manager is going to kill me"

Great now, top of a cheating husband. You also had to deal with getting your crying pics off the internet and deal with an amgry manager.

You took out your phone out of your jeans, which were getting uncomfortable as time passed.

But nothing matched the uncomfortable and shattering hurt you felt when you saw the trending topic of twitter.

They were already parading out? It had hardly been a day, and he was already over you? Did he not think what will happen when tabloids will find it? which they already had found out making their own stories.

Did he not think what kids will think when they will see it? Em was 14 he knew everything and had a phone of his own. What were you supposed to tell him if he asked you? you didn't even know yourself what was going on.

Your head started pounding more than before, and you could feel the migrain coming in . Even though you knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't today in any shape or form.

Your sadness was slowly subsiding now, and as your headache grew, so did your anger, and you knew it was going to be shit show happening in front of everyone.

*****

Same day in evening-

Liked by Harryfan2, Harryfan5, Y/Nfan2 and 998,765 others

Duexmoi This fan favorite couple, an A list actress, and popstar are getting divorced according to an insider. Who do you think they are?

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Harryfan1 Harry and Y/N?

Y/Nfan2 Rumor has it one of them cheated

Y/Nfan4 Defo Harry remember the pictures

Harryfan2 Omg with her sister? that's fucked

Harryfan3 don't jump to any conclusion guys maybe it's someone else or maybe it's fake you know how these are.

Y/Nfan1 Fuck Harry and fuck Hayden

*****

Welll...tell me if you guys liked it pleaseeee i need to know!! here♡

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insanityclause · 2 months ago

Text

When a pub was plunged into darkness at the same time as a Marvel supervillain finished his meal, staff began to ask questions.

Actor Tom Hiddleston, who plays comic book villain Loki, was dining with family and friends at the Pub with No Name in Hampshire, when the power went out during Storm Darragh on Saturday.

Laura Walsha, kitchen porter at the venue in Priors Dean near Petersfield said she joked with the star, telling "him that he caused the chaos".

She laughed as she said Hiddleston "utterly denied it of course, but I wasn't convinced".

Ms Walsha said: "Obviously it put an end to our normal service because we couldn't keep the kitchen running but Tom managed to finish his dinner."

She said that the staff at the pub lit candles and had a fire blazing so that people could continue to enjoy their drinks before heading home.

Dan Burrell, head chef at the site, said people were enjoying the candlelit atmosphere at the pub but he admitted the power outage has had a serious impact on the restaurant.

"We had to get rid of all of our stock, that was fresh, which is a nightmare for us as a business," he said.

He described it as "horrendous" as they were also forced to throw away food that had been prepared for upcoming Christmas functions, including a lot of turkey and fish.

"It's tough, so to lose all of that is going to have a huge impact on us," Mr Burrell said.

The venue was closed on Sunday but power at the pub is now back to normal

#tom hiddleston #loki

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lilywastaken · 2 years ago

Text

now hear me out: witch hunter!ghost x witch!reader...

he's visiting a town with the rest of his team to investigate a claim that there might be witches running rampant around the small countryside village, only to fall victim to a resident's charm while they conduct interviews.

she's a sweet woman who insists on curing the scratches that he's gathered across their travels, using tonics and herbs from her cute little garden and letting him pet her pet cat, who seems to have taken liking to the dark and imposing man, rubbing it's little black body against his boots and purring when he leans down to scratch under its chin.

it doesn't even clock in his mind how every single detail about you and your life correlates exactly with the obvious signs of a witch, but he's too spellbound with you to even realise.

he informs the others that none of the people he's talked to seem to have made the infamous deal with the devil, but due to the panicked way the leader of the community had written to them, they decide to stay to investigate further, staying in the small inn near the outskirts of town and luckily for simon, near your cottage.

despite the clear liking he's taken to you, he's still as emotionless and snarky as he would be with anyone else, and his chest tightens every time you laugh or giggle out loud at one of his dark jokes, most unladylike for any other woman, but you don't seem to care to hide your snorts or amusement around him, something he completely adores.

he insists on helping you with your garden, claiming you have no need to get your hands dirty when he's used to doing dirty work (both taking lives and tending to his own garden back home), sitting at your kitchen and watching you make the tonics and medicine you help treating anyone who has fallen ill in the village, standing close by whenever someone comes in with an injury, absolutely in awe at how they're cured almost immediately, thanking you gratefully before leaving. although, he does not miss the dirty glares some of your neighbours send you when they think you're not watching, making him grow confused, not understanding why they would harbour such feelings towards someone as kind and helpful as you.

it's not until he's taking a break at the pub, listening to gaz drawl on about some thing or another, when he catches wind of two women's conversation, frowning beneath the leather mask he wears in distaste has he takes in their poisioned words.

"-making moves on my poor husband. i swear, she's put some type of spell on him, that vile witch."

"oh, i know! my brother told her off last monday and guess what!? the next day, he fell off the roof and broke his leg! bloody bitch probably cursed him!"

"gosh, i cannot wait until those hunters finally get her! i have no idea how she's managed to evade their suspicions, she's done nothing to hide herself!"

"well, by the way that masked man has been loitering around her home, we'll be lucky to have a burning at the end of the week!"

they both laugh, the high pitch shrieks that they let out enough to make the glass in simon's hand shatter, shoving his seat back and leaving a dumfounded gaz in the pub alone as he walked away.

the splintering wooden door slams open as he shoves himself into your cottage, dark eyes landing on your crouched figure and then the second one, body freezing as he makes eye contact with his captain.

"simon." the man grunts, alerting you of your favourite visitor's presence as you pull back from the wound on his leg you were treating, a sweet smile on your lips.

"simon!" you repeat, cleaning your hands with the bucket of water next to you, wiping away the dried blood in the rags as price sends a warning look to his subordinate, the blond furrowing his brows in confusion, before the conversation he'd overheard before came to mind.

no.

no, price didn't know.

and, god, no, you weren't one of them.

you... no. no.

"let's get going. thank you for the help, miss." his whole body went into autopilot as price pushes him out of the cottage, the short wave and caring smile you sent his way the last thing he saw before the door was slammed shut.

neither of the men spoke on their trek back to the inn, and simon did not sleep a wink that night, terrified of what would happen in the coming days.

surprisingly, there was nothing. no finding of stakes, no gathering of firewood, no detainment of you.

so maybe, price hadn't picked up on you. even though simon was still convinced you were not one of those.

until after a few days of pouring rain, simon wakes up to a cold room and the absence of johnny, who he knows for a fact that never woke up before him unless forced to, something he'd learned after years of sharing the same room with the scot.

and as he walks out into the muddy roads, that oh-so familiar smell hits his nose.

the burning of wood, of grass, of cloth, of human.

his heart dropped into his stomach, following the trail of ashes that had blown across the roads until he arrives at the town square, the burning piece of wood in Gaz's hand along with the flames consuming the hay and grass that lay across the ground of the plaza, the fire slowly consuming your beautiful white dress he'd seen you sew barely days ago.

simon barely takes notice of price coming towards him, attempting to hold him back from rushing into the crowd simply staring up at you, your eyes falling down upon his struggling body, your face going from the calm expression it had been in to shock, pulling at your tied up wrists instinctively in a frail attempt to rush towards him.

"simon...!" you breathe out, soot entering your lungs as you inhale, tears filling your eyes from the burn as you watch him wrestle out of his captain's grip, his boots stomping against the rocky ground as he shoved past the gawkers, leather slamming against the kindle, ignoring his team's shouts and the fire burning his clothes and skin, reaching the stake you were tied to, his face out in the open due to the way he'd rushed out of his room, dark eyes reflecting the flames that were taking you both.

his shaky hands come behind you to untie the ropes around your arms, caging you with his body and allowing you to rest your head against his shoulder, tears streaming down your cheeks as you look down at the burns forming across his legs.

"stop." you pleade, trying to push him away with your chest. "stop, simon, stop...!"

"shut up!" he snaps, throwing the ropes into the fire as they came undone, letting you collapse into his arms as you were let free, your hands gripping his dress shirt. "you're going to be okay, we need to-"

his voice broke as he looks down at your sunken eyes, your lips dry and cracked as if you'd just ran a marathon, but looking down at your intact legs and burning dress, he realises where all your energy had gone.

"simon.."

no.

"please, stop-"

no. you....

"you're going to die, simon, please!"

you couldn't be...

"i won't be able to save you, simon, listen to me!"

you were wailing at this point, trying to push his body down the small burning hill, but his body doesn't budge.

"simon!" his captain's grating voice pulls him out of his stupor, his hands growing tighter around your waist as he locks gazes with the furious looking man, your wails becoming static in his ears as he doesn't think twice as his now blistering hands pulled your legs up, letting you grasp onto his neck instinctively as he holds you bridal style, ignoring the searing pain rushing through his body.

"simon, don't, don't you dare!" you scream, the first time he's heard you raise your voice at him. "please, i'm not worth saving, you know what i am! i don't deserve to live!"

liar. you... you were worth everything.

you were worth the burns on his body, the destruction of his ideals and the pain the mere sight of you in tears gave him.

he doesn't care what you are.

you're... a witch. what he swore to destroy and what he has been hunting for over a decade.

but you're not... you're... not evil.

maybe none of them were, maybe if he'd taken the time to get to know the women they'd burnt before he'd have realised sooner, that you were just people.

and he wasn't going to let you get hurt. maybe it was a bit selfish or ironic, but he didn't care. he'd take you away from this town, from his colleagues, from the pain, let you live in peace somewhere were no one would bother you.

and if you let him, he'd come with you too.

he ignores price's shouts about the so called spell you'd put on him and as he looks down at your shivering body in his arms, the way you're curling into him, the way you were wailing for him to save himself moments ago, he couldn't...

even if you had put some type of spell on him, he didn't care. never had he felt like this. and yes, he'd deal with the consequences of this later, but for now, as he runs through the forest with your trembling body in his arms, he couldn't care less.

he isn't going to let anyone hurt you any more than they have.

(brainrot for this idea is open please 🗣️)

#ghost #ghost x fem!reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x fem reader #simon ghost riley angst #ghost angst #simon riley #simon riley x reader #cod mwii #witchhunter!ghost #— lily's brainrot ! ☆

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mlmxreader · 1 month ago

Text

Date Night | Elliot Stabler x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Elliott stabler

85"You’re adorable when you’re concentrating"

148"I'm taking you on a date, a real date"

289Person A stealing person B’s clothes and getting caught ❞

: ̗̀➛ You and Elliot rarely get to go on nice, proper, date for once but as usual, something gets in the way.

trigger warnings: ̗̀➛ brief non-graphic nudity, swearing

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

spotlight fundraiser : ̗̀➛ Help Evacuate Mai for Essential Medical Treatment

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

The weight of a bullet proof vest still cast a shadow over Stabler as he made his way through the small flat; he would stop every now and then to look into the various animal tanks and see whatever was out. A few snakes, a scorpion, a lizard. It wasn't unusual.

He had grown used to it and, even then, it was one of the reasons why the kids loved coming here; they loved helping feed the animals and getting them out to hold them - so Stabler made his peace with being around them... even if the scorpions did give him quite a jump.

"Dad's best friend", as the saying went, and it never failed to make Stabler smile.

He draped his coat over the bannister, kicking his shoes off near it, and dared to slowly move towards the bedroom door; he could hear a soft grunting, along with harsh breaths, and swallowed thickly.

But then he heard the plastic snap, and allowed himself to cross the room over to you; you were on your back with your head at the bottom of the bed, holding up a little plastic figurine as you tried desperately to fix it.

It belonged to one of his kids, and he appreciated that you were making an attempt; gently, he lowered your wrists above your head, and knelt down to be eye level with you.

"You're adorable when you're concentrating."

You smiled back, welcoming it when he leaned over to kiss you; your hands went to the sides of his head, pulling him slightly closer as you tried to make it last for more than a few seconds.

Slowly, Stabler moved until he was straddling your waist, his hands planted on the mattress either side of your head as he hummed under his breath. "How you been? C'mon, just talk with me for a sec."

You grinned as you let your hands hold onto his shirt tightly. "Not bad, me and Olivia went to get coffee today... how'd your thing go?"

He grumbled, shaking his head. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"You never have to," you told him softly. "Did you eat yet?"

He shook his head. "Not tonight, I'm taking you out on a date, a real date this time - not a rugby match or a movie or whatever we did last time."

You thought for a moment, trying to remember. "I think our last date we went to the pub, watched a rugby match, and throughout the entire thing I had to explain the whole game... as well as who you're supporting."

He grinned, a warm feeling in his chest for a moment; Stabler always liked to keep things simple and, well, cost effective - and it was just as well. You hated it when he got you gifts, when he offered to treat you like other people treated their significant others and got the flashy, finer things.

But so did he.

It was perfect that you both preferred the quiet and the simple.

"C'mon," he laughed softly, gently patting your cheek. "Get dressed and I'll met you in the kitchen."

You groaned, mockingly protesting as you tilted your head back and pouted. "Do I have to?"

"Yes!" Stabler murmured as he kissed you softly.

He left you with a final kiss, heading to the kitchen and making both himself and you a decent cup of coffee; whatever they served at the precinct was coffee by name, but it certainly didn't taste like it. It was like a mix of cardboard and steamed water.

The good, cheap, stuff that you kept stocked up was far better, and he knew exactly how to make it the way you liked it.

But when you didn't come back to him once he had finished making it, he was a little concerned.

Stabler called out to you as he made his way back to the bedroom, pausing on the stairs for a moment; you didn't answer, and he grew a little concerned.

He continued, pausing by the door and letting his instincts take over; he listened closely, but heard nothing.

He pushed the door open; you were lying naked on the bed, just about to pull on one of his shirts and steal it from him, again. He stole a more than quick look, trying not to grin.

Usually, Stabler would have closed the door and hurried back to the kitchen, but he cleared his throat and tried not to laugh when he heard you rush to put your trousers on.

Once you gave him the go ahead, he entered the room at last, and smiled.

"You're such a perfect gentleman," you told him, tugging the shirt on and letting it drape around your shoulders.

Stabler tilted his head from side to side for a moment. "Oh, I'm not. I snuck a peek, and... wow."

You laughed, shaking your head fondly and gripping his shirt as you hummed softly. "Why am I not surprised?"

He shrugged, putting an arm around you and backing you up against the bed. "Can you blame me?"

You couldn't help it, groaning softly when Stabler started to kiss your neck softly; your hand went to the back of his neck as you spurred him on, whimpering softly when he pulled away.

"You gonna give me my shirt back?" He murmured against your skin softly.

You shook your head, cupping his jaw gently. "You're gonna have to make me, detective."

Stabler grinned, gently starting to push it from your shoulders as he slowly lowered you down completely; your back on the mattress as you told him to keep going. To keep going and going and going.

"You can't keep stealing my shirts," he told you with a soft, playful, growl. "I'm not gonna have any left to wear to work."

"Is that a problem?" You asked, tilting your head. 'It wouldn't be for me."

Stabler shook his head fondly, placing his hand on your chest and feeling your heart rate for a second. "C'mon, we have a date. We can fool around later."

#mlem writes #elliot stabler x reader #elliot stabler x you #elliot stabler x y/n #elliot stabler x yn #elliot stabler imagine #elliot stabler fanfiction #elliot stabler fanfic #elliot stabler fic #elliot stabler #law and order fic #law and order fanfiction #law and order x reader #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order svu x reader

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hexxedghost · 2 months ago

Text

Another NikPrice threadfic crosspost that I think @nekrosmos wanted a tag for. It was supposed to be fluff, then got a dash of angst. there was a suggestion for non sexual intimacy and a few other things and this is what came out as a result.

Price couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone away for Christmas. Admittedly, for the last decade he’d spent it working, normally keeping Simon company with the black cloud of grief that hovered around him.

But the over the last few years, that darkness had faded, and the last two years he’d gone with Soap up to their place in Scotland. Laswell and her wife had gone on a cruise, Gaz had his entire extended family popping round. Which had left Price alone on base.

He and Nikolai hadn’t made plans, the new relationship between them still feeling new and fragile. It had started as just a physical thing, a quick and filthy release when they could catch a spare moment.

Until Nik had asked him if that was all he wanted. When Price had floundered, Nik had rescued him, a strong hand pulling him above water as Nik told him he wanted more. And Price couldn’t say no to him.

But he always felt like his clumsy attempts would fracture what they had, terrified Nik would realise his mistake and want to return to just secret whispers in the dark and hot skin against skin.

He was idly doodling on discarded paperwork, until Nikolai had leaned a hip against the door frame and asked if he wanted to get out of the office.

He’d assumed he meant down the pub for a drink, maybe a meal, or back to the flat for a quick shag. Instead, he found himself over a snowy hillscape, small twinkling lights of houses in the distance as they land the heli.

“Thought we were going for a drink.” Price murmurs, slamming the door closed and stuffing his hands under his arms for warmth.

“I have drinks in house.” Nikolai says, grabbing the bags, seeming completely unaffected by the flurries of snow that had started falling. Price grumbles and trudges after him, hissing as he enters the house. It’s dark, but at least it blocks the wind.

“I’ll get the fire going.” Nik calls, dumping the bags near the door. Price just shuffles in place, trying to get the feeling back in his feet. He can hear Nikolai clattering around before there’s a bright flare of a match and the soft crackling of kindling catching alight.

“Drink?”

“Please.” Price chatters, huddling around the fire as it slowly grows. He feels the chill leave his skin, his shoulders stopping the constant shuddering that made his teeth rattle.

There’s a clink of glass behind him and Nik’s pressing a whisky into his hand. He takes a sip, the burn a welcomed sensation that warms his chest.

“Ta.” he smiles, feeling his eyes crinkle. Nik knocks his glass against his, taking a sip and giving a happy sigh before lumbering back into the dimly lit cabin.

“I’ll put food on, warm up first.” his voice comes out of the darkness, seeming closer as Price’s eyes strained to make out more than dim shapes.

Price sank into a chair nearby, it’s a bit dusty, but it’s surprisingly comfortable all things considered. Probably another hideout of Nik’s. He’s long given up asking, letting Nik keep his mysteries. The man himself appears to be happily bustling away in the kitchen, finally have turned a light on. The bulb bare and has that yellow tinge Price associates with old homes, a bright triangle on the floor that lets him look around.

Nik’s humming and the wind tearing past outside make for a background noise that makes him feel drowsy. His eyelids grow heavy and his chest dips to rest on his chin. Just for a few seconds.

“John?” there’s a hand at his shoulder that makes him jerk awake violently, glass tumbling away with a long ringing noise. The hand stays, instead squeezing gently. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Shuddup.” he grumbles, sitting up and rubbing at his eye. “‘Ow long was I ‘sleep?” Nik doesn’t respond and when Price blinks up at him, he’s just smiling at him gently. “Wha’?”

“I didn’t realise you snored.” Nik says, resting a knuckle against Price’s cheek, “Is cute.”

Price shoves out of chair, face burning. “Sod off.” he grumbles, glaring at the loud laugh Nik gives.

“Hungry?” he asks easily, after he’s done laughing, leaning on the back of the chair with his forearm.

“Could eat.” Price says, pulling his hat down over his ears to hide how red they are. Judging by the cheeky wink Nikolai gives him, he hasn’t succeeded.

Dinner is a simple enough affair, most of it might be canned, but the whisky is good and plentiful. There’s a pleasant buzzing warmth in Price’s veins as they laugh over old memories, bottle half empty between them.

“Didn’t think you wanted to do anything, for Christmas, I mean,” John murmurs, pushing his glass around the table and tracing the condensation in its wake.

“Didn’t want you alone in that office.” Nikolai says, hooking a leg with his under the table. Price shifts awkwardly and Nik frowns a bit. “Did you want to be alone?”

“I. no. Just…worried about messing this up.” the drink has loosed his tongue, secrets spilling like across the table in a spreading pool. There’s a warm hand on his and when he looks up, Nik’s eyes are bright and warm, though there’s a crease between his brows. Worried.

“Why do you think this?” he asks gently, curling their fingers together. Price doesn’t know how to answer that simply.

“Haven’t got a good track record, do I?” he smiles sadly. “A failed marriage and a successful career.”

“I know this about you.” Nik says, tracing the crease of his palm, his finger where his wedding ring had been worn a lifetime ago.

“I’m a grumpy old git,” Price says stubbornly.

Nik smiles, “I like that about you.”

“Doesn’t mean you want to deal with it.” John counters glumly.

“I do. I want this. You…Do you? I…” Nikolai draws his hand back slightly. “If you’ve changed your mind…I understand, I was quite…insistent.”

There’s a seizing in Price chest hearing that. Not the words, but the doubt in Nik’s voice. Doubt and hurt that he’s put there. He grabs Nik’s hand and presses it to his lips, murmuring against the warm skin.

“I do want this. Want you. Just don’t know how to…how to do that.” he stares at the table, unable to meet Nik’s eyes, just pressing the words as deep into the skin as he can. “You’re always so good at this, like it’s easy. But—”

“But…” Nikolai prods, looking at him intently, seeing through him in a way nobody else does.

“Sometimes I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that,” he admits softly.

“Like what? “ Nik questions, stroking Price’s face with the back of his hand.

“Like I’m worth loving.” The words punch out of him, spending so long being trapped in his ribs. It hurts to say, but it feels wrong to hide such a painful truth from Nik.

Nik’s hand stops moving when he says it. Price waits for it to pull away, to hear the hurt or suggestion they should maintain professionalism, just go back to keeping it between the sheets.

Instead, when he looks up, Nik is smiling, “You think I don’t already?”

There’s something terrifying in that. That Nik had already made himself vulnerable, that the broken sharp pieces of Price could already threaten soft and tender flesh readily offered. Nik shifts his hand, so it’s cradling Price’s face.

“I do not say this, for a return. I say this because it is true. You revealed your truth. I wanted to reveal mine.” his thumb runs along Price’s jaw, and he closes his eyes at the feeling.

“I’m not good at this, Nik.” he says to the dark behind his eyelids.

“I don't need you to be good.” Nik voice is close, breath whispering against his lips, “I only ask that you be you.”

There’s the taste of whisky, when Nikolai closes the gap and kisses him. It’s slow and sweet, and it feels like it’s breaking John apart from the inside.

He twists his hands in Nik’s shirt and pulls him closer, scraping with teeth and fire, but Nik stays, gentle. No matter how much Price tries to put aggression into it, tries to pull them away from the soft and tender feelings in his chest that scare him. Price rests his head against Nik’s shoulder with a sigh, shivering as Nik dragged his teeth along his neck, punctuating each mark with a kiss.

“Nik,” he sounds like he’s pleading, but he doesn’t know what for. His heart feels bruised, his eyes feel damp as he presses harder into Nikolai’s shoulder.

“Let me take you to bed, John.” the words are deep and husky, breath hot against his skin. Price nods against his shoulder, throat too tight to form words anymore.

Nik gathers him to his feet, mouth still pressing, biting, marking, pulling clothes aside for more skin. There’s a trail of clothes behind them by the time Nikolai presses him into the sheets.

“Let me take care of you,” Nik asks, eyes dark and blown wide as he trails his mouth along Price’s hip. “Please.”

“Fuck, Nik.” Price groans, blood pooling low in his belly, the slow fire crawling up his spine.

“No, no thinking. Only feeling.” it could sound teasing, but it doesn’t, there’s a warm curl around the words that make the weight of them settle gently. Price spends every day at his job, ignoring fear. This should be easy.

Nikolai sucks a bruise into his hip, tongue laving over the purpled skin, before nosing at Price’s lower belly. It’s heady, and addicting, and perfect.

And his mind won’t shut up. Still dragging him back to that sharp shard of fear lodged deep in his heart that this will all fall to ruin. And Price doesn’t know if he can cobble together the pieces of himself again.

He falls back with a sigh, covering his eyes with an arm. “Sorry, Nik.”

Nikolai shifts up on his knees, leaning forward and catching Price’s mouth with his. Price brings his arms up, tries to get with the program, hands dropping to Nik’s waistband.

But instead, Nik takes his hands, entwining their fingers and pressing them into the mattress. And just kisses him, long and sweet.

It’s…strange just kissing. Even in his head, that sounds daft. But it does. Normally they fall into bed, biting and panting into each other's mouth to reach an end goal, as a step, foreplay. It’s odd to just…enjoy it.

There’s something knocked loose in his chest with it. As Nikolai nuzzles his throat, murmuring sweet words he can’t understand into his skin. Price pulls him back up, resting their foreheads together.

“D’you want help with that?” he asks, nodding to where he can feel the hard length of Nik’s cock pressing into his thigh.

“No, I’m happy with just this.” Nik rumbles, dragging their mouths back together.

Price doesn’t know when he fell asleep. He’s not used to waking up with someone else in the bed.

Before the day Nikolai had asked for more, Price had always left after sex. Too skittish and nervous to let himself hope for more, too rattled at grappling with what it all meant. So there were things he’d never noticed.

Nikolai…was a cuddler. More of a grappler really, in his sleep. Price shifts, but Nik’s hold is like iron, the sleeping man nuzzling into his neck and mumbling sleepily. Price rolls his eyes, but there’s a warmth in chest as he reaches up and tangles their fingers together. The fire had burned down sometime in the night, and as much as the blankets helped, Nik being a furnace was probably the only thing stopping him shivering.

As he looks at the snow drifting past the window, he remembers the date.

“It’s Christmas.” he murmurs.

Nik mumbles into his neck. “Mhm?”

“I didn’t get you anything.” Price says, looking over his shoulder, Nik blinking at him.

“You did.” he says, voice still soft with sleep.

“No I bloody didn’t.” Price says, shifting up on his elbow to look down at him. Nik grins, and drags him down for a kiss, placing his hand over Price’s chest, where his heat skips a beat.

“This.” he says softly “I only want this”

#nikprice #hexx threads

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