#ptsd stiles

[christinesficrecs]

(Long time listener first time caller 😅❤️)

Wondering if you have any recs for fics in the vein of It Was A Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I'm craving that level of angst and slow burn with nogitsune/post-nogitsune Stiles. Doesn't have to have outsider Derek included. But I'm also just not finding the right mix atm. If they're deleted fics in the Dropbox that would be great too (I haven't had the opportunity to really go digging there yet).

If any come to mind - thank you!!

I appreciate all your hard work and dedication to connecting people with the fics they're looking for! ❤️

Hey! These are mostly PTSD Stiles but still plenty of angst and slow burn. 🥰

It Was a Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 80.1K | Mature

“What happened? Where are you? What’s that sound?”

Derek jumped, having momentarily forgotten Scott was on the phone with him because Stiles had started moving. He’d stalked over to the other side of the cave, still eying Derek warily and growling, then settled protectively over a mass of clothes, leaves and animal innards. It was probably where he was sleeping.

Lovely. No wonder he smelled like death.

“Stiles,” Derek said, answering Scott’s question. Or, one of them, at least.

“Stiles? What do you—Stiles is making that noise?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“How fast do you think you can make it to the south lot of the Preserve?”

Actions Speak Louder than Words by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 434.6K | Explicit

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.”

That was a bad word. Not found.

Have.

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment.

One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

You're stronger than you know by Littleredridinghunter | 234.1K

Stiles survives his encounter with Gerard and his goons, but it isn't easy.

The pack are letting him down again, his dad is not speaking to him, his life is just generally falling apart.

Until he has to get a bronze dagger to kill a siren and his whole world gets flipped on it's head!

Sense of Home by siny | 53K | Explicit

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

If You’re Going Through Hell (Keep Going) | 48.5K

Stiles thought everything leading up to Allison’s death was hell, but he was wrong. Spending senior year dealing with the pack’s dismissal of him while secretly training to be Deaton’s replacement was hell. Feeling guilty and hating himself for what the Nogitsune did was hell. Being in love with someone who would never love him back was hell. Well, if you’re going through hell, keep going.

And miles to go before I sleep by Heart_Of_Steel_And_Fandoms | 113.5K | Explicit

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills at the end of Sophomore year. He’s been abandoned by the pack, scarred by the hunters, and carries the equivalent of a volcano of magic inside him. Needless to say, his life sucks. But when Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills, over a year later and with a new persona, he isn’t the same powerless human the pack remembers. And when demons threaten Beacon Hills, he proves to everyone that sarcasm isn’t his only defence.

Betrayal by Littleredridinghunter | 214K

Gerard does something despicable and the pack are left shattered after Stiles is killed.... or is he??

These Accidents of Faith and Nature by TheHatterTheory | 214.3K | Mature

Sometimes you have to tear everything down before you can start building something worthwhile. OR; Stiles keeps showing up. Derek keeps letting him in.(And sometimes refuses to let him leave.)

[fuji09]

Derek Hale has PTSD. I think people tend to forget that he wasn't an ass for the hell of it. He put up a rough asshole front to protect himself. He has the ugly symptoms of PTSD. Does it excuse some of his actions? No. But he does deserve some understanding and empathy.

No matter what age you see him as, he just isn't a 'grown ass man'. He had no idea how to take care of himself. He was still mentally that 15 year old who lost everything and was traumatized beyond reason.

Derek continuously kept being kicked while he was down. The poor guy couldn't catch a break. Like have a heart y'all. He was never a villain. An antagonist at one point, yes. Villain, no.

Trauma literally rewires your brain, and that poor kid got enough trauma before the first episode. Derek needed lots of therapy, he needed friends, and he needed a pack.

Derek could literally trust no one. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. He tried his best with what he had, which wasn't much, and he fucked up at times. But he kept trying to do and be better.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Could you recommend some fics Derek has PTSD and Stiles or the pack help him with coping? If you don’t mind me asking.

Let's see!

take me home. by Anonymous

(1/1 I 3,529 I Mature I No Pairing)

In which Derek Hale is not as okay as he seems (especially after being de-aged by Kate Argent), and Scott and Stiles witnesses it first hand by accident, and tries their best to help.

5 Times Derek Experiences Sensory Overload + 1 Time Derek Experiences Sensory Joy by Warlock_Nerd

(6/6 I 5,604 I General I Sterek)

Derek is Autistic but he hasn’t told anyone in fear of not being taken seriously as an Alpha. Stiles, however, figured it out and made it his mission to help Derek not only for Derek’s Betas but for Derek to finally accept himself.

Regression to the Mean by theroguesgambit

(1/1 I 16,580 I Mature I Sterek)

There aren’t really words for this. “Sure, dude. Let’s hang out sometime and bond over the fact that our lives suck and we’ve both basically killed a bunch of people by accident” doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

Boys of the Wild by MourningDawn

(28/28 I 145,919 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek has had the worse summer of his life. It was suppose to be his big summer before he started college, where he partied and drank his summer away. But a tragic accident changed everything including Derek. The accident takes a toll on him. He doesn't talk much anymore or leaves his room. All his friends have abandoned him. People in town often look at him with hatred and pity. No one will look him in his eyes anymore, not even his father. No longer being able to watch her son suffer, Talia decides Derek needs a new start. She sends Derek to her home town of Beacon Hills to stay with her brother Peter. It's there that Derek be friends free spirited Stiles Stilinski. Derek decides to keep the accident a secret but he isn't the only one hiding something

The Outcry of Wolves by JupiterMelichios

(47/47 I 254,075 I Mature I Sterek)

He's put a lot of time and effort into remaining human. He was invested in his humanity, actually, despite what certain Alpha werewolves might choose to insinuate. And now it's gone, just like that. One minute human, the next minute... Okay, the next several hours, maybe, but still. He'd been human, and then he took a nap, and now he's... something else.

When Stiles is bitten, he wants to believe it's just a random accident. But something is killing innocent people, Lydia's seeing things, Allison keeps having mysterious accidents, and he's got a growing suspicion it might all be connected.

[jocollins]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale Additional Tags: Climbing through window, idiots falling in love, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Nightmares, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Nogitsune Arc (Teen Wolf), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Comfort, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending Summary:

It started as a means to survival, developed into a need of comfort, but they wouldn’t change it. Derek climbing though Stiles’ window was just their thing.

[nenehyuuchiha]

Chapters: 30/30 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Thor (Marvel) Additional Tags: Recovery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Humor, BAMF Stiles, excessive sarcasm, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Assisted Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Sarcasm, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Angst and Feels, Happy Ending Series: Part 1 of Superheroes Summary:

When Stiles reads the posts, he’s more confused. They’re older posts, back from his undergrad freshman year, but it was during a supernatural attack that a bunch of people got caught in. Stiles practically ran himself into the ground offering support, advice, and gathering information for Scott and Derek so they could do damage control.

“This tells me nothing,” Stiles says. “Except that you can use Google and know how to take screenshots.”

“I consider it your resume,” Fury tells him.

Stiles freezes, because what.

Fury doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t explain, even after Stiles gestures for more. “What the hell do you mean it’s my resume? If you haven’t realized it, I’m still in college.”

He doesn’t look impressed. “You’ve been in college. You have two degrees, four separate certifications, and you’re on the fast-track for a PhD.”

“I like learning,” Stiles deadpans.

“You like helping, and it just so happens that I have someone you can help.”

[teencopandthesourwolf]

.

EXCERPT:

Stiles's love is fiercely scented. Like poetry and moonlight and spice. Like he'll do anything for an asshole who is not even the same damn species as he is. Hell, it even smells like it's real. Derek needs it so much and is so scared of it and knows he doesn't deserve it, even if Stiles's chemo-signals forever scream that Derek is seven shades of wrong about the latter.

.

read the rest on ao3 HERE

[sapphireginger]

I’ve Got Your Back & You’ve Got Mine

Summary:

Two True Mates.

Derek and Stiles had faced their fair share of trauma from a chaos demon to a sadistic hunter. They were broken but they might have found a way to be whole in each other.

AO3 Link

Derek always went to the same cafe to grade papers. Always. He always got the same thing to drink and he always sat in the booth in the far back. Yet when he went to do so today there was someone there. Derek wasn’t happy about it. See that booth had one side against the wall which put his wolf at ease with nothing but the wall at his back. It was perfect and would allow him to see any and all threats.

It helped him but nooooo because now there was some stupid kid with a beanie, and glasses sitting there with a pen in his mouth, playing with it in a way that should have been obscene. Any other time Derek would have loved to let his wolf have what it wanted with the guy but not today, not when he had over fifty essays to grade. So, he put on his murder brows and stalked over to claim his spot. Shut up, it was his spot, okay.

The man—so not a kid in any way, shape or form—looked up when Derek got to the table and offered a quirked brow, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Sup dude?”

Derek scowled harder. “You tell me. This is my spot.”

The guy snorted and rolled his eyes as he went back to working on his laptop. “Okay then Sheldon.”

Derek growled in annoyance. “I’m serious, kid.”

The guy flicked his gaze up and his expression shifted into a glare. “First of all, I’m not a kid. I have two doctorate degrees. So back off. Second, if the table thing is your deal then sit across from me.”

Derek made a fist, his claws popping. “I don’t like having my back towards the door. So, you move to the other side.”

The guy shook his head, gripping his pencil tightly. “No! I—” Derek quirked a brow, watching as the guy swallowed thickly, his throat clicking with the action. “I-I need to sit so I can see everything.”

Derek paused at the slight bit of fear in the guy’s voice. He relaxed slightly and tilted his head, noticing something he had missed. “You’re a spark but you’ve faced the darkness.”

The guy frowned at him. “You’re a wolf and you’ve been burned.”

Derek stiffened and nodded, his stomach swooping when the guy moved over so they could sit side by side. He offered a smile of thanks to the guy’s smile of relief.

“I’m Stiles.”

Derek nodded and firmly shook his hand. “Derek.”

When their hands connected they both felt a thrumming and when their eyes locked, they flashed emerald green. They both stilled, nearly frozen with shock and yet a fountain of hope bubbled within them. Eyes that flashed in sync, that flashed emerald green, were the universal sign of True Mates.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Six months later Stiles woke up screaming himself hoarse from a nightmare in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably only to be pulled into a soft but firm embrace.

Derek held his mate close in a protective embrace and in the darkness, Stiles revealed what happened with the Nogitsune. He whispered to Derek how he had been possessed and was turned in their efforts to defeat the demon. However, he turned into a fox and not a wolf. Derek loved him as he was and whispered as much over and over and over again until Stiles fell back to sleep.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Not even a month later, there was a small fire in their kitchen and Derek froze. He ended up putting it out but shut himself in the bathroom, climbing into the tub fully clothed. He turned the shower on and made sure the water was freezing.

That was how Stiles found his mate. He didn’t even hesitate to climb into the tub, not bothering to remove his own clothing or caring one bit about their state. Clothes were replaceable, Derek was not.

After a few minutes, Derek opened up about the fire that had killed his family and stuttered his way through explaining what happened with Kate.

Stiles whispered to Derek over and over that he loved him and that he was safe. Once Derek had calmed down, they took a hot shower and curled up together in bed.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

A year after they met they got married and moved into a new house, ready to start the next chapter of their lives.

“I love you, Sourwolf,” Stiles whispered as they made love together.

Derek smiled and kissed his mate’s nose as he locked his aventurine eyes with Stiles’s amber ones. “And I love you, Bambi.”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Two years after they met they welcomed twins into the world. They named their little girls, Coraline who went by Cora and Klaudiya who went by Diya. It had been a shock but a welcome surprise that Stiles’s had spark decided to gift the alpha wolf and the alpha mate with their own cubs.

Two years after that, when the twins were two years old, the alpha wolf and his fox spark mate rebuilt the Hale house together by hand, well, by hand, by paw and of course by spark.

Their third child, a boy they named Mikhail, who went by Mika, was born the first night they spent in their new home.

As the alpha and alpha mate, curled up together, their cubs sleeping peacefully between them, they couldn’t help but thank the goddess.

Despite all the pain they had endured, despite all the tragedy and trauma they had borne, they were finally happy, healthy, safe and finally, finally they were home.

[painofhumanity]

@vailtoset gets a starter because I am making my feels their problem XD

I'm fine. He'd said that a lot lately the past few years, despite the fact that Stiles didn't think it had ever been more of a lie--except maybe the first couple of years after his mom died. It didn't matter who asked him, either, the reply was always the same when someone asked how he was doing. So he didn't even think about it when his uncle asked if he was alright.

"I'm fine." The lie came as naturally as breathing. Though, in this moment, breathing wasn't actually coming so easily.

"No yeah, totally fine," he mumbled as he started shaking his hands to get rid of the nervous energy panic attack that was building. Still recovering from being possessed by an ancient, evil fox spirit who made him hurt everyone he cared about and kill innocent people while he watched, but other than that, Stiles was doing great.

Aside from the fact that his typical ADHD restlessness was dialed up to 15, and he couldn't sit still for more than a couple of minutes before jumping up and pacing around the living room, and Chris's voice was starting to sound farther away and warped like they were talking over a bad connection instead of talking face to face, and Stiles was pretty sure he wasn't supposed have his head on a swivel like he was trying to see all corners of the room at all times to make sure there definitely wasn't anything there.

"Why do you ask?" He couldn't even force himself to stand still long enough to meet his uncle's gaze; if he stopped moving, he'd start thinking, and if he started thinking, he'd start remembering-- Walk faster, Stiles.

[theholidayslingerlikebadperfume]

people getting mad headcanons to me is like getting mad at someone for playing pretend incorrectly like what do you mean i'm pretending this character is autistic incorrectly?

[buckybarnesss]

i was unprepared for stiles slowly being erased. crying in the club

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

I need a help. The fic im looking for is Derek is getting therapy, Stiles is away because he's studying. Derek and Stiles talk on the phone regularly. Derek is ordered by his therapist to tell someone about therapy and that he has PTSD. Derek tells Stiles but he doesn't respond well and hangs up. Derek regrets telling him and he's sad. Then I guess it turns out that Stiles was scared because saying such a thing is a big responsibility and he was secretly reading books about PTSD to help Derek.

Hi anon. Anon says it's this one.

With Delayed Expression by Idday 

(1/1 | 10,397 | Mature I Sterek)

“I have… well… she said that she thinks that I maybe have… PTSD?”

The line goes so dead that Derek almost thinks Stiles hung up on him. He waits eight very quiet seconds, and says softly, “Stiles?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Stiles says, breath whooshing back over the phone line.

“I have PTSD,” Derek says more firmly. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, not as a question. It hasn’t really seemed real, until now. He’d spent the whole of his last session arguing that Tamara was wrong about him, and saying it out loud is like admitting it’s true. “Post-traumatic stress dis—”

“I know what it means,” Stiles interrupts, “I just didn’t think I’d heard right. Oh my God.”

[jocollins]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale Additional Tags: can be read either romantic or platonic, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Nogitsune Arc (Teen Wolf), Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pretending, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Breaking down, Mental Breakdown, Tears, Crying, Comfort, Hugging, Stiles Stilinski Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale is a Nice Thing, Past Abuse, Past Violence, only mentioned - Freeform, Trauma Bonding, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD, Derek Hale Has PTSD, Emotions, Emotional Baggage, past emotional/psychological abuse, Hopeful Ending, Mental Health Issues, Anger, Bad Friend Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Bad Pack Alpha Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) Summary:

After Void, Stiles is pretending, pretending to be fine, to be functional, to be human. Derek is having none of that.

[toastybugguy]

At this point seasons 4, 5 and 6’s thesis statement can really be boiled down to How Many Creative Ways To Traumatize These Poor, Poor Teens Can We Come Up With

[normaltothemax]

Talking Yourself Out Of Something ”this isn’t what it looks like.” It’s exactly what it looks like. He’s absolutely crashed through the roof and basically into Stiles’ lap.

For a long few seconds, Stiles doesn’t say a word. He just looks at the guy that landed on his couch, half in his lap. Looks up at the hole in the ceiling (AKA the floor of his father’s bedroom upstairs, the attic after that, and finally the roof; three separate holes in total, for anyone counting). Looks back at the guy, takes a breath, and very calmly pauses his game and sets the controller to the side.

God, Stiles really, really wishes something like this would phase him more, but at this point? He’s unfortunately pretty used to crazy. He kind of wants to tear his hair out, but there’s also a bone-deep weariness keeping him from flipping the fuck out.

“My dad’s going to kill you.” Just as a heads up. “And you’re staying to tell him what happened, because there’s no way in hell I’m taking the blame for this.”

@sperboytm (x)

[teencopandthesourwolf]

my post-nogitsune flashbacks/healing/getting together sterek fic my beloved <3

CLICK HERE TO READ ON AO3

[sapphireginger]

Title: Drowning Out Sound - Chapter #5

Pairings: None [Gen]

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Word Count: 4,273

Rating: Mature

Warnings:  Descriptions of Past Child Abuse (Recounted by the Child) PTSD Flashback Dissociative Episode Panic Attack Past Trauma

Square Filled: Cooking Together

Written For: @anyfandomfluffbingo​

Full Fic AO3 Link

Summary:

Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

Stiles was doing so well with his schooling, and they were able to have him tested. He ends up getting into first grade at five years old which his family is so very proud of him for. They all get ice cream to celebrate. Toward the end of the year Peter asks Stiles about school.

> Do you want to go to school like Jackson and Malia?

The boy tilts his head and chews his lip. His fingers card through Zuri’s fur and he shakes his head.

> No thank you. There’s so many kids and I’m afraid. I’m sorry, Daddy.

Peter gestures for Stiles to come to him and when the boy does, Peter scoops him up and settles him in his lap.

> Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. Talia said she would help homeschool you until you are ready for public school.

Stiles contemplates this for a moment and then looks at Peter with nervousness.

> What if I never want to go to public school?

> Then we will homeschool you.

> Really?

Peter nods and Stiles hugs him tightly. “Tha’k y’u.”

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

A hand waves gently to get his attention. He blinks, having gotten deep into the book he was reading.

> Sorry, Aunt Talia.

He signs quickly as he sets his book down and faces his aunt.

She smiles.

> It’s okay. How is your work going? Do you need any help?

Stiles shakes his head with a smile.

> No thank you. I am just reading now. I did my math and writing. So, I am going to try and do my reading. Is that okay?

Talia nods and ruffles his hair gently.

> Good boy. Enjoy your book.

Eagerly, with a giggle at the ruffling of his hair, Stiles turns back to his book while Talia goes back to the kitchen to fix lunch. It’s so peaceful and she is so grateful she is able to do this for her new nephew.

Her eyes scan the book, and she is surprised at the one he chose. Only five years old and he’s reading Hatchet. Talia is proud and looks forward to telling Peter that his worries for Stiles while valid are unnecessary. He’s going to do just fine. In fact, Stiles will do extremely well. She will make sure of it.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

First semester comes to an end and then in January, they celebrate Malia and Jackson’s birthday. Stiles gets an allowance and saves all of it to get them each something special. He got Jackson a really nice watch that’s red because that’s Jackson’s favorite color and Legos to build a ship from his brother’s movie. He got Malia two fuzzy blankets, one green and one purple that she immediately insists Stiles cuddles with her under. Of course, Jackson gets to join too.

In February they celebrate Talia’s and Grandma Bridget’s birthday. Stiles gets a bottle of warm vanilla sugar lotion for his aunt as well as some fuzzy socks cause she says her feet get cold sometimes. He doesn’t notice her tearing up right away but when he does, he takes over her lap for the day.

> Thank you, Stiles. These are just what I need.

Stiles grins. 

> I know. I pay attention. You’re welcome.

Then he lays his head on her shoulder and watches the movie they have on. Gone with the Wind is Talia’s favorite movie, and the twins got her the anniversary edition for her birthday.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

The next day they go over to Grandma Bridget’s house to celebrate her birthday. There are hugs and kisses all around and after lunch, cake and ice cream they head into the living room for presents.

Stiles shyly hands her his gift that he wrapped himself.

> Thank you, my moonbeam.

She opens the gift and places a hand on her chest. Inside is a necklace she thought she had lost that has been polished along with a photograph of her late husband in a beautiful frame with a white rose on it.

> Do you like it grandma?

Bridget wipes her tears and nods.

> I love it, moonbeam. Come here.

Stiles walks over and melts into the hug she gives him and giggles at the kiss she places on his forehead.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

In March they celebrate Peter and Marie’s birthdays that are only a week apart. 

Stiles had asked Talia to take him to get their gifts and she took all three kids to the mall. Zuri stays close to Stiles’s side, having already been officially serving for nearly a year. 

> Can we go to the bookstore please?

Talia nods and walks that way, making sure the twins are in her line of sight.

As Stiles scans the shelves, he finds the perfect gift. He asks for help getting it down and when Talia smiles at him, giving her approval at his choice, he preens with pride. They head over to the register to pay for it and then go to the craft store for mommy’s gift.

All in all, it only takes a couple hours before they have everything bought and are on their way home.

Peter’s face when he opens the gift from Stiles is priceless. 

Stiles smiles shyly. 

> You said you love to write, and I thought that you should write more but of course you need something special to put all your words in.

The man’s fingers trace the details on the cover of the dark blue leather journal, and the blue fountain pen to go with it. He kisses the boy’s forehead before pulling him into a tight hug. When Stiles pulls back, he giggles at the pleased smile on Peter’s face before settling in for the rest of the gifts.

Marie gets some new thread for her sewing machine and some seeds for her flower garden. She asks Stiles to help her plant them when it’s the perfect weather for it and he eagerly agrees.

 💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Then comes April, Stiles’s birthday and in the morning when he wakes up, everything is great. They’re having a small party with family and a couple kids that Stiles met through homeschooling.

Stiles helps with setting the table for lunch and greets his friends when they come. Only one of them gets to stay for cake but they make sure to send some treats home with the one who has to leave.

Peter turns the lights down a bit as Marie gets the video camera out. Stiles blushes and waits patiently as Talia lights the candles on his cake. He counts each candle as it’s lit.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

As the six little flames flicker, Stiles feels a tightness in his chest start to get even tighter. He’s had one birthday with the Hales already but for some reason this one is different. Daddy, mommy, Aunt Talia, Jackson, Malia and Stiles’s friend Grant all start signing to him.

> Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Stiles.

Stiles hiccups a sob so softly it’s barely audible.

> Happy birthday to you.

Everyone is smiling at him, and he wants to smile back but he can’t. So, when they tell him to blow out the candles, he closes his eyes and makes a wish.

‘I wish I wasn’t broken.’

Then he blows out the candles.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

He manages to hold it together until his friend Grant leaves but after that all bets are off. He runs to the master bedroom and crawls under the big bed. Zuri is right by his side and curls around him, letting him bury his head against her tummy. Stiles curls into a small ball as his breathing becomes shallow and rough. His heart is pounding, and he starts rubbing at his ear until Zuri’s paw gently traps his wrist.

Stiles has no idea how long he is under the bed for but when he wakes up he’s on mommy and daddy’s bed and it’s nighttime. Stiles’s brain is mushy, and he wants to hide. So, he does.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Peter is extremely worried when Stiles hasn’t made a sound or moved a muscle in hours. It hurts to see him so still, almost exactly like he was in the hospital the day Peter came to get him. Marie gets the twins ready for bed and Peter tucks them in. The two adults then get ready for bed themselves and then climb into bed, with Stiles settled between them. Peter made sure to put him into pajamas as well.

He sends an email to Doctor Bowen about an appointment. Peter knows Stiles needs to talk to someone. Marie goes to sleep but Peter can’t sleep yet. He needs to know that Stiles is okay. So, he waits and waits and waits.

It’s nearly midnight when Stiles finally rouses and Peter stills as the boy blinks at him.

> Daddy?

Peter slowly scoops him up and cards his fingers through Stiles’s hair with a soft shudder of relief. He kisses the boy’s forehead and rocks him slowly. Zuri is still on alert watching over her human with a protective gaze and stance.

After a few minutes Stiles pulls back and looks at Peter.

> I’m sorry.

> For what sweetheart?

Stiles looks down for a moment and reaches for Zuri who nuzzles her nose against his tummy. She knows that is where it hurts after he has a panic attack.

> Running and hiding. I got scared and really sad.

Peter nods and gives a small smile of reassurance.

> That’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You are not in trouble.

> I’m not?

Peter shakes his head.

> No, but can you tell me what made you upset? Maybe I can help.

Stiles starts rubbing at his ear as tears start to fall again. He raises small shaking hands to reply.

> You are my daddy. Marie is my mommy.

His hand forms a fist, and he drags the back of his thumb from his bottom lip down to just below his chin for the word patience and then signs the letter M.

> You are my parents, but I thought about no more mommy and no more daddy. I am glad but it just hit me really hard right here.

He taps his heart and sniffles.

Understanding washes over Peter and his heart aches for the boy. He uses his thumbs to dry Stiles’s tears and makes sure the boy is looking at him.

> You don’t have to be sorry for the things your heart feels. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be sad. You went through a lot of hurt and even though you’re safe now and have people who love you so very much, you’re going to miss them.

Stiles shakes his head in frustration.

> I don't want to miss them. Why do I miss them?

Peter takes Stiles’s hand in his and ducks his head to meet the boy’s gaze again.

> Because they raised you and were your parents. For all their faults they did love you even if they forgot how to love you in the right way after a while. So it is okay to miss them. That doesn’t mean you are broken or wrong or bad. It just means you are human, and you hurt just like everyone else.

> Thank you, Daddy. I love you.

> I love you too sweetheart. Shall I sing?

Stiles’s amber eyes brighten and a small smile forms on his face as he nods. It’s enough of an answer for Peter to pull him close again. He starts softly humming and Stiles rests his nose against Peter’s throat so he can feel the vibrations as they lull him to sleep.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

When it’s time to go to second grade, Stiles asks his parents and his Aunt Talia if he can try public school.

> I want to try and be around other kids. Malia says I would love recess and Jackson says I would love gym class cause they play soccer and dodgeball. I also want to make some more friends.

Peter is hesitant but with a firm and encouraging nod from Talia, they sign Stiles up to start school at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School where the twins go.

Much to Peter’s relief, Stiles does really well and all of his teachers and even classmates are extremely considerate. Peter can only hope that continues as the years go by.

One day, Stiles comes home and gets off the bus with a huge grin on his face. Peter chuckles at the way the boy is bouncing with excitement.

> What has made you so giggly and excited?

Stiles blushes lightly and kicks his shoes off by the door.

> I made a new friend.  

> Oh? What’s your new friend’s name?

> Name. C-A-L-L-I-O-P-E. Calliope but she says I can call her C-A-L-L-I-E. Callie. 

His smile is shy and pleased, and Peter gets all warm and fuzzy at the news.

> You’ll have to invite her over to play this summer then.

Stiles runs over and looks up at Peter with wide eyes.

> Really? She can come play?

> If her mommy and daddy say she can then I don’t see why not.

Stiles throws his arms around Peter and squeezes as tightly as he can. Peter flings the towel he was using to dry dishes over his shoulder and hugs the boy back. They stay that way until Marie comes in and coaxes Stiles outside to help her plant the seeds that he got her.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

It’s halfway through the summer after second grade and Callie has gotten along really well with all three of the kids and she adores both Marie and Talia. Stiles adores her and they’re really close, so when it’s time to go to the pool, she is asked to join them. Her parents have no problem with her going as they are pleased that she has made a real friend.

Stiles is nervous at first but he’s glad they’re at a smaller waterpark and not a really big one. He also loves all the pretty green trees nearby. Zuri is right by his side as he stands by the edge of the pool. His small hands fist the fabric of his red swim trunks as he tries to work up the courage to get in.

Then two older boys walk over, and Stiles gets nervous at their approach. They smirk at him and without warning, Stiles is shoved into the pool. Time seems to freeze, and Stiles starts thrashing around in terror. He can’t breathe. He. Can’t. Breathe. His eyes go hazy for a moment as his chest constricts. He can hear Zuri barking and just as he’s about to pass out, he has a flashback.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Three Years Ago:

Playing with his rubber ducky in the tub is something Stiles loves to do. He also loves all the bubbles but is sad when they start to disappear. He’s looking for the soap, when his mommy comes into the bathroom and closes the door.

Stiles frowns slightly in confusion but since she just smiles, he goes back to playing.

Daddy used to always give him his baths but with daddy working more, mommy had to help.

As he’s playing with one of his boats, mommy puts her hand on his head and ruffles his hair. He giggles softly and blows bubbles at her with a grin.

Stiles doesn’t know what happens to make mommy angry but suddenly, mommy does something bad.

She pushes his head under water and holds him there. Stiles starts thrashing and clawing but he’s too small. His eyes grow hazy, and he can’t breathe. The last thing he sees before he passes out is his mommy’s smiling face above him.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Present Day:

Stiles remembers talking with Doctor Bowen about what it means to disappear into his head. He remembers her calling it a really big word. When she talked to Peter and gave him papers, Stiles had seen the word and sounded it out for himself. Doctor Bowen calls it dissociating. It’s a big word but she made sure he understood it when he asked.

So, when Stiles comes to and finds himself nowhere near where he was when he blacked out, he knows he dissociated.

Peter has him bundled up in a towel and cradled in between his siblings in the backseat of the car. Stiles’s cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

> Callie?

He signs the word beautiful with a C. It’s her sign name that she got from him.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns his head to see her in the backseat. He starts crying, having been afraid he would lose his friend.

> I’m here Stiles. I am here. You’re my best friend and I’m not going anywhere.

The feeling of tightness in Stiles’s chest has nearly vanished and with the warmth of his siblings on either side of him he feels himself relaxing. Zuri is a grounding weight across his lap and Callie’s hand is gently holding his hand over the seat. Stiles feels totally, completely and one hundred percent safe. This is his family, and he knows they won’t let anything happen to him.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Callie stays for lunch and then heads home but promises to see Stiles again real soon. They hug each other tightly before she gets into her dad’s car and goes home.

When she’s out of sight, Stiles closes the door and locks it. Peter is in the study and Marie is in the laundry room. She told Stiles he can help her make cookies for dessert and so he heads to find her first.

With giggles and a huge grin on his face, he helps mommy make cookies. They make peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies. Stiles gets flour on his face and spills a bit of sugar, but Marie just chuckles and tells him it’s okay. Cooking is going to be messy sometimes.

Dinner is a bigger task and Marie is going to handle it herself, but she gives Stiles the first cookie along with one for each of the twins and one for Peter. With a smile, Stiles delivers the twins their cookies first and then, with a deep breath, he heads to the study to talk to Peter.

Zuri is right by his side, a solid weight he needs to stay grounded.

“Da’dy?” he says startling Peter who looks over.

> Hey. What do you have there?

Stiles walks over slowly and hands his daddy the cookie.

> Oatmeal. Mommy says you like oatmeal raisin, but we didn’t have raisins.

> That’s okay. I bet the cookie tastes delicious.

Peter takes a bite and softly sighs.

> Do you like it, Daddy?

Stiles watches with hopeful eyes and Peter nods.

> Yes. I love it.

The man chuckles as Stiles does a fist pump and then quirks a brow when Stiles gestures to the couch.

> Are you busy?

Peter tilts his head.

> Not too busy for you. What’s up?

Stiles chews his lip and signs.

> I need to talk to you. Is that okay?

> Of course. Do you want to sit over there?

Stiles nods and scurries over after closing the study door. The couch is a safe place for him, and Zuri is quick to hop up with him. She settles her body over his lap securely and Peter takes a seat next to the boy.

> What do you need to tell me, dearheart?

> It’s bad, Daddy, but I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I’m just scared is all.

Peter frowns slightly and nods.

> Okay. You can tell me anything. I’m always here when you need me.

Stiles sniffles and nods.

> I know. That’s why I want to tell you. I trust you, Daddy.

Peter’s heart swells with love and affection as that small seed of doubt is decimated.

> Whenever you’re ready.

Stiles nods and takes a deep breath. He takes a moment to go through the breathing exercises that Doctor Bowen showed him and cards his fingers through Zuri’s fur. When he’s settled and calm, he starts to explain.

> You know that old mommy went to a jail for people with hurt brains, but you don’t know what she did to me. I want to tell you. Okay?

Peter swallows thickly. As much as he has wanted and even felt the need to know, he’s certain he won’t like what he learns. Still, he nods.

Stiles nods back and continues.

> Daddy used to always give me my baths. He would make them so much fun. One time he made himself a beard when I accidentally put in too much bubble bath. I don’t know why but daddy had to work more, and he was never there to give me a bath anymore.  

He pauses and shudders, gripping Zuri’s fur tighter, eliciting a rumble in her chest to ground him so he can keep going.

> Take your time.

Peter signs quickly, wanting to make sure Stiles doesn’t push himself if he’s not truly ready.

Stiles nods and flexes his fingers before continuing with a determined expression on his face.

> At first, it was fine, and I took my bath while she was in her room or somewhere else upstairs but sometime after my birthday, she started coming in during that time. She would just sit there but she never played with me like daddy did. When she did come over to the tub, she

Amber eyes fix seriously on Peter.

> Please don’t be mad, okay?

Peter stills and his heart begins to race, but he nods.

> If I am mad, it won’t be at you. I promise.

> Okay.

With another round of his breathing exercises, Stiles forges ahead.

> Mommy knelt by the tub, and I offered her my toy. She just smiled and shook her head. I remember being confused but she ruffled my hair like she always did. So, I didn’t pay much attention. Then something changed and she pushed my head under water. I was scared. I was terrified and I tried to fight back but the water was so heavy here.

He presses his hand flat against his chest and then his stomach.

> I couldn’t breathe and got so sleepy. I don’t know what happened next except for seeing her smiling above me and then darkness. I think I maybe fell asleep, but that is scary cause you can't sleep underwater. I don't remember. My head is all fuzzy about that. When I woke up, I was in my bed and my tummy hurt so bad, Daddy. I couldn’t remember stuff, but I knew mommy did something wrong.

Peter waves his hand slightly to get the boy’s attention.

> Did John know?

Stiles shakes his head and glares, though Peter knows it is not directed at him.

> No. Daddy didn't protect me. He didn’t notice. She did that for a long time and the last time I felt a pain in my head. Right here.

He rubs at his ears and then presses his palms against his temples with a sigh and a shudder.

Peter is barely holding it together as he listens to the horror of what Stiles went through. A white hot burning hatred for Claudia Stilinski floods through his body. He nearly misses when Stiles starts again.

> I felt sick and because my tummy hurt bad, I didn’t eat a lot of food. Mommy told me I was fine, but I knew I wasn’t. That last night I remember my heart pounding as I stared wide eyed at her from under the water. My little hands were scratching at her but then I coughed and accidentally sucked in water. Then my ears popped and started to ring. I felt sleepy and numb. That was the last time I saw mommy and she was smiling at me as she drowned me. The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital and daddy left me that day too.

It seems as though Stiles’s story is over, but Peter is speechless. He’s vibrating with anger and crying silently. What exactly does one say to a child when they explain their trauma, so very well for their age? How can Peter possibly help this child–his child–with overcoming what he went through?

Stiles seems to understand and slowly crawls into Peter’s lap as Peter stretches his legs out on the couch. Zuri keeps her body on Stiles to weigh him down and keep him grounded.

After taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts, Peter makes sure amber eyes meet his blue ones.

> I am so very sorry that she hurt you. I am so angry on your behalf because your mommy should have loved you and never hurt you. I want you to know and never forget that I love you so much. Marie, Jackson, Malia, Talia and grandma love you to the moon and back. You are safe here and I am so very proud of you.

Stiles looks away with pink cheeks.

> Why are you proud?

Peter coaxes the boy to look at him.

> You are brave, strong and you have a huge heart. You knew you needed to and wanted to tell me what happened. So, you did. That takes a lot of strength sweetheart but most of all I am proud because you are my son, and I will always protect you and keep you safe.

Tears fall in torrents down Stiles’s cheeks as he presses a kiss to his daddy’s cheek. Then he practically melts against the man’s body with a content sigh. Peter almost misses the very soft words the boy speaks against his shirt.

“I l’ve y’u Da’dy.”

Peter cradles him close in a protective cocoon and vows then and there that Claudia Stilinski will never ever get out or come near his son again. In fact, the next morning he makes a call and ensures that she won’t ever see anything beyond the walls of the asylum and that if by some small miracle–nightmare–she does get out, well he’ll handle that personally. No one will harm his child ever again.