#ptsd stiles

[christinesficrecs]

(Long time listener first time caller 😅❤️)

Wondering if you have any recs for fics in the vein of It Was A Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I'm craving that level of angst and slow burn with nogitsune/post-nogitsune Stiles. Doesn't have to have outsider Derek included. But I'm also just not finding the right mix atm. If they're deleted fics in the Dropbox that would be great too (I haven't had the opportunity to really go digging there yet).

If any come to mind - thank you!!

I appreciate all your hard work and dedication to connecting people with the fics they're looking for! ❤️

Hey! These are mostly PTSD Stiles but still plenty of angst and slow burn. 🥰

It Was a Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 80.1K | Mature

“What happened? Where are you? What’s that sound?”

Derek jumped, having momentarily forgotten Scott was on the phone with him because Stiles had started moving. He’d stalked over to the other side of the cave, still eying Derek warily and growling, then settled protectively over a mass of clothes, leaves and animal innards. It was probably where he was sleeping.

Lovely. No wonder he smelled like death.

“Stiles,” Derek said, answering Scott’s question. Or, one of them, at least.

“Stiles? What do you—Stiles is making that noise?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“How fast do you think you can make it to the south lot of the Preserve?”

Actions Speak Louder than Words by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 434.6K | Explicit

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.”

That was a bad word. Not found.

Have.

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment.

One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

You're stronger than you know by Littleredridinghunter | 234.1K

Stiles survives his encounter with Gerard and his goons, but it isn't easy.

The pack are letting him down again, his dad is not speaking to him, his life is just generally falling apart.

Until he has to get a bronze dagger to kill a siren and his whole world gets flipped on it's head!

Sense of Home by siny | 53K | Explicit

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

If You’re Going Through Hell (Keep Going) | 48.5K

Stiles thought everything leading up to Allison’s death was hell, but he was wrong. Spending senior year dealing with the pack’s dismissal of him while secretly training to be Deaton’s replacement was hell. Feeling guilty and hating himself for what the Nogitsune did was hell. Being in love with someone who would never love him back was hell. Well, if you’re going through hell, keep going.

And miles to go before I sleep by Heart_Of_Steel_And_Fandoms | 113.5K | Explicit

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills at the end of Sophomore year. He’s been abandoned by the pack, scarred by the hunters, and carries the equivalent of a volcano of magic inside him. Needless to say, his life sucks. But when Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills, over a year later and with a new persona, he isn’t the same powerless human the pack remembers. And when demons threaten Beacon Hills, he proves to everyone that sarcasm isn’t his only defence.

Betrayal by Littleredridinghunter | 214K

Gerard does something despicable and the pack are left shattered after Stiles is killed.... or is he??

These Accidents of Faith and Nature by TheHatterTheory | 214.3K | Mature

Sometimes you have to tear everything down before you can start building something worthwhile. OR; Stiles keeps showing up. Derek keeps letting him in.(And sometimes refuses to let him leave.)

[fuji09]

Derek Hale has PTSD. I think people tend to forget that he wasn't an ass for the hell of it. He put up a rough asshole front to protect himself. He has the ugly symptoms of PTSD. Does it excuse some of his actions? No. But he does deserve some understanding and empathy.

No matter what age you see him as, he just isn't a 'grown ass man'. He had no idea how to take care of himself. He was still mentally that 15 year old who lost everything and was traumatized beyond reason.

Derek continuously kept being kicked while he was down. The poor guy couldn't catch a break. Like have a heart y'all. He was never a villain. An antagonist at one point, yes. Villain, no.

Trauma literally rewires your brain, and that poor kid got enough trauma before the first episode. Derek needed lots of therapy, he needed friends, and he needed a pack.

Derek could literally trust no one. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. He tried his best with what he had, which wasn't much, and he fucked up at times. But he kept trying to do and be better.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Could you recommend some fics Derek has PTSD and Stiles or the pack help him with coping? If you don’t mind me asking.

Let's see!

take me home. by Anonymous

(1/1 I 3,529 I Mature I No Pairing)

In which Derek Hale is not as okay as he seems (especially after being de-aged by Kate Argent), and Scott and Stiles witnesses it first hand by accident, and tries their best to help.

5 Times Derek Experiences Sensory Overload + 1 Time Derek Experiences Sensory Joy by Warlock_Nerd

(6/6 I 5,604 I General I Sterek)

Derek is Autistic but he hasn’t told anyone in fear of not being taken seriously as an Alpha. Stiles, however, figured it out and made it his mission to help Derek not only for Derek’s Betas but for Derek to finally accept himself.

Regression to the Mean by theroguesgambit

(1/1 I 16,580 I Mature I Sterek)

There aren’t really words for this. “Sure, dude. Let’s hang out sometime and bond over the fact that our lives suck and we’ve both basically killed a bunch of people by accident” doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

Boys of the Wild by MourningDawn

(28/28 I 145,919 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek has had the worse summer of his life. It was suppose to be his big summer before he started college, where he partied and drank his summer away. But a tragic accident changed everything including Derek. The accident takes a toll on him. He doesn't talk much anymore or leaves his room. All his friends have abandoned him. People in town often look at him with hatred and pity. No one will look him in his eyes anymore, not even his father. No longer being able to watch her son suffer, Talia decides Derek needs a new start. She sends Derek to her home town of Beacon Hills to stay with her brother Peter. It's there that Derek be friends free spirited Stiles Stilinski. Derek decides to keep the accident a secret but he isn't the only one hiding something

The Outcry of Wolves by JupiterMelichios

(47/47 I 254,075 I Mature I Sterek)

He's put a lot of time and effort into remaining human. He was invested in his humanity, actually, despite what certain Alpha werewolves might choose to insinuate. And now it's gone, just like that. One minute human, the next minute... Okay, the next several hours, maybe, but still. He'd been human, and then he took a nap, and now he's... something else.

When Stiles is bitten, he wants to believe it's just a random accident. But something is killing innocent people, Lydia's seeing things, Allison keeps having mysterious accidents, and he's got a growing suspicion it might all be connected.

[jocollins]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale Additional Tags: Climbing through window, idiots falling in love, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Nightmares, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Nogitsune Arc (Teen Wolf), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Comfort, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending Summary:

It started as a means to survival, developed into a need of comfort, but they wouldn’t change it. Derek climbing though Stiles’ window was just their thing.

[nenehyuuchiha]

Chapters: 30/30 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Thor (Marvel) Additional Tags: Recovery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Humor, BAMF Stiles, excessive sarcasm, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Assisted Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Sarcasm, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Angst and Feels, Happy Ending Series: Part 1 of Superheroes Summary:

When Stiles reads the posts, he’s more confused. They’re older posts, back from his undergrad freshman year, but it was during a supernatural attack that a bunch of people got caught in. Stiles practically ran himself into the ground offering support, advice, and gathering information for Scott and Derek so they could do damage control.

“This tells me nothing,” Stiles says. “Except that you can use Google and know how to take screenshots.”

“I consider it your resume,” Fury tells him.

Stiles freezes, because what.

Fury doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t explain, even after Stiles gestures for more. “What the hell do you mean it’s my resume? If you haven’t realized it, I’m still in college.”

He doesn’t look impressed. “You’ve been in college. You have two degrees, four separate certifications, and you’re on the fast-track for a PhD.”

“I like learning,” Stiles deadpans.

“You like helping, and it just so happens that I have someone you can help.”

[teencopandthesourwolf]

.

EXCERPT:

Stiles's love is fiercely scented. Like poetry and moonlight and spice. Like he'll do anything for an asshole who is not even the same damn species as he is. Hell, it even smells like it's real. Derek needs it so much and is so scared of it and knows he doesn't deserve it, even if Stiles's chemo-signals forever scream that Derek is seven shades of wrong about the latter.

.

read the rest on ao3 HERE

[sapphireginger]

I’ve Got Your Back & You’ve Got Mine

Summary:

Two True Mates.

Derek and Stiles had faced their fair share of trauma from a chaos demon to a sadistic hunter. They were broken but they might have found a way to be whole in each other.

AO3 Link

Derek always went to the same cafe to grade papers. Always. He always got the same thing to drink and he always sat in the booth in the far back. Yet when he went to do so today there was someone there. Derek wasn’t happy about it. See that booth had one side against the wall which put his wolf at ease with nothing but the wall at his back. It was perfect and would allow him to see any and all threats.

It helped him but nooooo because now there was some stupid kid with a beanie, and glasses sitting there with a pen in his mouth, playing with it in a way that should have been obscene. Any other time Derek would have loved to let his wolf have what it wanted with the guy but not today, not when he had over fifty essays to grade. So, he put on his murder brows and stalked over to claim his spot. Shut up, it was his spot, okay.

The man—so not a kid in any way, shape or form—looked up when Derek got to the table and offered a quirked brow, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Sup dude?”

Derek scowled harder. “You tell me. This is my spot.”

The guy snorted and rolled his eyes as he went back to working on his laptop. “Okay then Sheldon.”

Derek growled in annoyance. “I’m serious, kid.”

The guy flicked his gaze up and his expression shifted into a glare. “First of all, I’m not a kid. I have two doctorate degrees. So back off. Second, if the table thing is your deal then sit across from me.”

Derek made a fist, his claws popping. “I don’t like having my back towards the door. So, you move to the other side.”

The guy shook his head, gripping his pencil tightly. “No! I—” Derek quirked a brow, watching as the guy swallowed thickly, his throat clicking with the action. “I-I need to sit so I can see everything.”

Derek paused at the slight bit of fear in the guy’s voice. He relaxed slightly and tilted his head, noticing something he had missed. “You’re a spark but you’ve faced the darkness.”

The guy frowned at him. “You’re a wolf and you’ve been burned.”

Derek stiffened and nodded, his stomach swooping when the guy moved over so they could sit side by side. He offered a smile of thanks to the guy’s smile of relief.

“I’m Stiles.”

Derek nodded and firmly shook his hand. “Derek.”

When their hands connected they both felt a thrumming and when their eyes locked, they flashed emerald green. They both stilled, nearly frozen with shock and yet a fountain of hope bubbled within them. Eyes that flashed in sync, that flashed emerald green, were the universal sign of True Mates.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Six months later Stiles woke up screaming himself hoarse from a nightmare in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably only to be pulled into a soft but firm embrace.

Derek held his mate close in a protective embrace and in the darkness, Stiles revealed what happened with the Nogitsune. He whispered to Derek how he had been possessed and was turned in their efforts to defeat the demon. However, he turned into a fox and not a wolf. Derek loved him as he was and whispered as much over and over and over again until Stiles fell back to sleep.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Not even a month later, there was a small fire in their kitchen and Derek froze. He ended up putting it out but shut himself in the bathroom, climbing into the tub fully clothed. He turned the shower on and made sure the water was freezing.

That was how Stiles found his mate. He didn’t even hesitate to climb into the tub, not bothering to remove his own clothing or caring one bit about their state. Clothes were replaceable, Derek was not.

After a few minutes, Derek opened up about the fire that had killed his family and stuttered his way through explaining what happened with Kate.

Stiles whispered to Derek over and over that he loved him and that he was safe. Once Derek had calmed down, they took a hot shower and curled up together in bed.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

A year after they met they got married and moved into a new house, ready to start the next chapter of their lives.

“I love you, Sourwolf,” Stiles whispered as they made love together.

Derek smiled and kissed his mate’s nose as he locked his aventurine eyes with Stiles’s amber ones. “And I love you, Bambi.”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂

Two years after they met they welcomed twins into the world. They named their little girls, Coraline who went by Cora and Klaudiya who went by Diya. It had been a shock but a welcome surprise that Stiles’s had spark decided to gift the alpha wolf and the alpha mate with their own cubs.

Two years after that, when the twins were two years old, the alpha wolf and his fox spark mate rebuilt the Hale house together by hand, well, by hand, by paw and of course by spark.

Their third child, a boy they named Mikhail, who went by Mika, was born the first night they spent in their new home.

As the alpha and alpha mate, curled up together, their cubs sleeping peacefully between them, they couldn’t help but thank the goddess.

Despite all the pain they had endured, despite all the tragedy and trauma they had borne, they were finally happy, healthy, safe and finally, finally they were home.

[painofhumanity]

@vailtoset gets a starter because I am making my feels their problem XD

I'm fine. He'd said that a lot lately the past few years, despite the fact that Stiles didn't think it had ever been more of a lie--except maybe the first couple of years after his mom died. It didn't matter who asked him, either, the reply was always the same when someone asked how he was doing. So he didn't even think about it when his uncle asked if he was alright.

"I'm fine." The lie came as naturally as breathing. Though, in this moment, breathing wasn't actually coming so easily.

"No yeah, totally fine," he mumbled as he started shaking his hands to get rid of the nervous energy panic attack that was building. Still recovering from being possessed by an ancient, evil fox spirit who made him hurt everyone he cared about and kill innocent people while he watched, but other than that, Stiles was doing great.

Aside from the fact that his typical ADHD restlessness was dialed up to 15, and he couldn't sit still for more than a couple of minutes before jumping up and pacing around the living room, and Chris's voice was starting to sound farther away and warped like they were talking over a bad connection instead of talking face to face, and Stiles was pretty sure he wasn't supposed have his head on a swivel like he was trying to see all corners of the room at all times to make sure there definitely wasn't anything there.

"Why do you ask?" He couldn't even force himself to stand still long enough to meet his uncle's gaze; if he stopped moving, he'd start thinking, and if he started thinking, he'd start remembering-- Walk faster, Stiles.

[theholidayslingerlikebadperfume]

people getting mad headcanons to me is like getting mad at someone for playing pretend incorrectly like what do you mean i'm pretending this character is autistic incorrectly?

[buckybarnesss]

i was unprepared for stiles slowly being erased. crying in the club

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

I need a help. The fic im looking for is Derek is getting therapy, Stiles is away because he's studying. Derek and Stiles talk on the phone regularly. Derek is ordered by his therapist to tell someone about therapy and that he has PTSD. Derek tells Stiles but he doesn't respond well and hangs up. Derek regrets telling him and he's sad. Then I guess it turns out that Stiles was scared because saying such a thing is a big responsibility and he was secretly reading books about PTSD to help Derek.

Hi anon. Anon says it's this one.

With Delayed Expression by Idday 

(1/1 | 10,397 | Mature I Sterek)

“I have… well… she said that she thinks that I maybe have… PTSD?”

The line goes so dead that Derek almost thinks Stiles hung up on him. He waits eight very quiet seconds, and says softly, “Stiles?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Stiles says, breath whooshing back over the phone line.

“I have PTSD,” Derek says more firmly. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, not as a question. It hasn’t really seemed real, until now. He’d spent the whole of his last session arguing that Tamara was wrong about him, and saying it out loud is like admitting it’s true. “Post-traumatic stress dis—”

“I know what it means,” Stiles interrupts, “I just didn’t think I’d heard right. Oh my God.”

[jocollins]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale & Laura Hale Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Hockey, Hockey Player Stiles Stilinski, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Enemies With Benefits, Mention of past trauma, Shameless Smut, Angry Sex, Fuck Kate Argent, Blood and Injury, Ice Skating, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Bonding, Happy Ending, trigger warning of blood and injury Summary:

Derek started to work for the team, Stiles was the hotshot player. They hated each other from the first moment they met. But was it really only hate there?

[normaltothemax]

Talking Yourself Out Of Something ”this isn’t what it looks like.” It’s exactly what it looks like. He’s absolutely crashed through the roof and basically into Stiles’ lap.

For a long few seconds, Stiles doesn’t say a word. He just looks at the guy that landed on his couch, half in his lap. Looks up at the hole in the ceiling (AKA the floor of his father’s bedroom upstairs, the attic after that, and finally the roof; three separate holes in total, for anyone counting). Looks back at the guy, takes a breath, and very calmly pauses his game and sets the controller to the side.

God, Stiles really, really wishes something like this would phase him more, but at this point? He’s unfortunately pretty used to crazy. He kind of wants to tear his hair out, but there’s also a bone-deep weariness keeping him from flipping the fuck out.

“My dad’s going to kill you.” Just as a heads up. “And you’re staying to tell him what happened, because there’s no way in hell I’m taking the blame for this.”

@sperboytm (x)

[noyzinerd]

Revisiting this post now that its heyday has long passed because seeing it again reminded me of the things that didn't make the cut, which I will briefly go over:

One symptom of Adderall abuse I found was fainting spells

The reason why this is important:

When Stiles needed to cut off Derek's arm, Derek asked if he fainted at the sight of blood, to which Stiles said no (but he might at the sight of a chopped off arm). When Scott gets a tattoo, Stiles faints, but later that same episode, he has no problem holding down Scott as Derek sears his flesh with a blowtorch to get him a tattoo (in fact, he stares right at it).

We also see, when Stiles is looking into the deadpool murders, he has gruesome crime scene pictures strewn all over his desk (to which Finstock calls disturbing).

In an episode where Melissa needs to inject Lydia, Stiles predicts that he might faint at the sight of a needle being used, but then Liam faints while Stiles is still left standing.

This proves that Stiles doesn't actually have a problem with the two potential triggers of fainting he (as well as the audience) originally thought: gore and needles. However, the two times he does faint (at the tattoo parlor and right after they kill the Nogitsune) do go hand in hand with the idea of the Adderall abuse steadily peaking around the time the Nogitsune preyed on Stiles' deteriorating mind.

Why it was cut from the original post: I tried diligently to find the article again for screenshots but couldn't find it (because I had found the article 4+ years prior to the original post and it was now buried under mountains of data), so I left it out because I felt like no one would believe me without evidence. Since then, I have however found it again:

Another symptom of Adderall abuse is shortness of breath

The reason why this is important:

In season 2, Stiles treads water for two whole hours while holding up 200+ pounds of Derek's deadweight. In season 1, Stiles manages to outrun an Alpha werewolf chasing him down the halls. He also plays an entire game of lacrosse and scores the winning goal later in the season. However, much later in the series, Stiles is heavily winded after a short training sprint. His stamina has severely declined over the seasons despite, arguably, becoming more active in terms of dealing with baddies and running for his life and lacrosse training.

Why it was cut from the original post: the 'being out of breath' scene takes place after 3B, indicating that he's not getting better (and is in fact getting worse) and might still unknowingly be abusing Adderall into an early grave, unlike the positive outcome I posted originally. The thought made me sad and I didn't want to end on a downer (although we don't see him having anymore breathing issues after a particular point, and I did write a mini-fic explaining it that I might post later, but nothing tangible).

Bonus: PTSD Symptoms that differentiate from ADHD

Recently found this while researching this topic again and the startle response made me remember how easily startled Stiles is all the time. And the avoidance of thoughts/memories/feelings reminds me of when Stiles once said he was a big fan of ignoring a problem until it went away.

Having persistent negative beliefs and a persistent negative emotional state could easily be seen as hyperfixation until you think about how Stiles only really hyperfixates when he thinks something will go wrong and he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And having exaggerated negative beliefs explains why sometimes he can take things too far when upset/stressed (like when he got Scott beat up after the sheriff was hurt at the PT meeting, or when he threw Scott to the ground when the sheriff was in the hospital, or when he asked why Isaac was not over his abuse yet, or saying they should let Derek die). It's because a singular event (Scott ignored his messages about the Alpha, Derek's pack wanted to kill the kanima/Lydia) gets overblown (i.e. it's always Scott's fault his dad gets hurt, Derek's pack will always have ulterior motives).

The Misdiagnosed Tragedy of Stiles

(How Adderall Summoned The Nogitsune)

Time for me to really stretch out that Psychology degree, folks. I've also taken the liberty of quoting several different articles.

Stiles Stilinski does NOT have ADHD. He actually has PTSD and has been misdiagnosed since childhood.

Let me explain:

In season 5, we see Stiles reliving a memory he repressed, when he was 10 years old, of his mother attacking him in the late stages of her dementia.

This memory had been so traumatic and so deeply buried that it had taken SUPERNATURAL means to uncover it.

As stated by these two articles, PTSD and ADHD exhibit many of the same symptoms:

The reason children are more likely to be diagnosed as ADHD is because no psychologist/therapist expects a child to be experiencing something commonly plaguing war veterans, especially at such a young age. It's not the first thing to come to mind and children being violently attacked isn't normally the conclusion you jump to when facing a kid that's fidgety. Also, as stated in this article, mental health professionals just don't have time to learn a child's whole backstory.

Stiles' misdiagnosis is just the tip of the iceberg, though. Because of this, he is misprescribed Adderall.

As you may have noticed in the previous scene, Stiles is hyperactive and all over the place. This is actually a very bad sign. According to this article:

We actually see Stiles showing quite a number of the following side effects, mostly the psychiatric ones.

Panic attacks in particular should really catch your attention. I know it caught mine.

In season 3B, the Nogitsune alters a brain scan to make Stiles think he has frontotemporal dementia. The Sheriff and Argent later theorize that, by doing so, the Nogitsune weakened Stiles' mental defenses by destroying his hope. This shows that the weaker Stiles' mind was, the easier it was for the Nogitsune to take control. The poor mental state years of Adderall abuse had left Stiles in may have been the reason why the Nogitsune had chosen him as a host.

The irony of it all is that the Nogitsune said that it could save Stiles if he let it in. Surprisingly, it probably did. When the Nogitsune was controlling Stiles, it would make sense that a 1,000 year old chaos spirit wouldn't bother to take Stiles' Adderall every day. Not only that, we also see Stiles go without Adderall during his whole stay at Eichen House and when the Nogitsune took over the second time. From season 3B onward, Stiles' hyperactivity is way down and (correct me if I'm wrong on this) Stiles isn't seen having another panic attack after that. During the entirety of the Nogitsune arc, Stiles was too preoccupied fighting for his life to remember to take his pill and it seems he just never bothered to pick it up again, thus ACTUALLY saving his own life.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

my post-nogitsune flashbacks/healing/getting together sterek fic my beloved <3

CLICK HERE TO READ ON AO3

[sapphireginger]

Title: At Our Ex-Spence - Chapter #31

Summary:

When he was younger, Stiles always wanted a large family. He never wanted the kind of silence that nearly suffocated him in his home after his mother died. Peter has gladly made his wish come true many times over, and although Stiles never used to picture being pregnant, it’s something so intimate to him that he doesn’t mind a bit. There's something so fragile about the little life growing inside him. He especially loved when Peter would always nuzzle at his belly and shift to curl around his front with a happy rumble.

Prompt: PTSD

Warnings:

Pregnant Sex Kinapping (Mentioned) Mpreg

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Steter [Stiles Stilinski + Peter Hale]

Word Count: TBC

@mfbingo

A car rumbles as it comes up the winding dirt road towards the house. Stiles looks up from the counter where he’s making lunch and smiles. Stuart pops his head in and snags a piece of bacon only to squawk when Stiles shocks him for it. 

“HEY!” Stuart says.

Stiles smirks. “Don’t touch the bacon.”

Allison giggles as she walks by. “Behave you two. Sometimes you’re worse than the kids.”

The twins gape at her and she winks before wandering out to the front porch, her hand cupping the swell of her pregnant belly. Fio and Lili trot along behind her, sending affection through their bonds to their mages as they go.

Stuart watches her go with a dopey pleased smile on his face. Stiles fights back a laugh when his brother’s chest puffs out. “Yes, Stu. You did good,” he teases. 

Before Stuart can give a reply, they hear a thundering of little feet from the direction of the living room and the twins can only shake their heads with smiles on their faces as a herd of little niblings runs towards the door.

Peter is fully shifted, doing his best to direct all of them but stops long enough to nuzzle Stiles’s stomach. He rumbles in his chest and flicks crimson eyes up to meet amethyst eyes before darting after the kids.

Stiles blushes when Stuart sends him a smirk. “Oh, shut up,” he says without any heat behind it.

“I didn't say a word.”

“No but you were thinking about it.”

“Daddy! Unca Stu! Come on!! Ganpas is he’e!”

The twins grin at the little nibling whose eyes glow gold. She giggles when her daddy and uncle’s eyes glow back. Then she squeals when Uncle Stu scoops her up and tosses her over his shoulder. “Unc Stu, no no!” she squeals with a burst of giggles. 

“Uncle Stu yes!” Stiles teases and Stuart sends him a grin. “Careful, Selene,” Stiles says when she wiggles a little too much.

Selene’s gorgeous blue eyes peek out at him from behind blond curls, and she gives him a smile. “O’ay, Daddy!”

The car pulls to a stop in the driveway and the two men within it quickly get out. It’s like a whistle goes off and all six children launch themselves at the men with shouts of glee and excitement.

Allison grins at her husband as he settles Selene on his hip and slips his arm around her waist. She turns so her stomach rests against his hip and smiles when he tightens the embrace. 

“Hey, Dad,” Stiles calls out from his place on the porch as Noah experiences the usual jungle gym situation the kids put him in. “Looks like no bacon for you,” the spark teases. 

Noah huffs and shrugs, never looking away from his grandkids. “Who needs bacon when there are little niblings all over?”

Stiles smiles fondly at their father and exchanges a look with Stuart who is smiling at the sight.

Allison snorts a laugh when she sees her own dad with a little one wrapped around his head. “Keegan,” she scolds lightly. “Don’t cover grandpa’s eyes.”

Keegan giggles. “Pee’Boo!”

Chris chuckles and with a steady grip on the child swings him down and peppers his face with kisses. 

Of course, the rest of the kids want a turn at that, and the two expectant parents make themselves comfortable on the porch swing while the other two parents and the two grandparents tire the little ones out, playing all their favorite games. 

Stiles feels Allison take his hand and smiles giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Neither of them says anything, but it’s a comfortable silence. Stiles thinks back on the past six years fondly.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Allison and he were pregnant at the same time, which was quite an adjustment for Stiles, but he knew it was right and perfect, especially because of how his wolf acted. It made the spark happy to see his mate so excited and made his heart race with the knowledge that he was able to give the alpha pups. Peter ravished him over and over again and although Stuart never said anything, Stiles is pretty sure his twin was just as riled up by Allison’s pregnancy. 

Eight months later the first two pups were born. Stiles and Peter had a little boy they named, Oliver—Ollie for short—and Allison had a little girl they named, Isabella—Izzy for short—which Isaac crowed was totally for him. Allison joked that she might go by Bella, just to see Isaac pout. Over the course of a year Isaac had grown really close with Allison and Stuart. He mother henned the hell out of little Izzy, his wolf so happy to look after the little pup.

With a baby on each of their chests in a sling, Allison and Stiles started on plans for a home to build near Stiles and Peter’s own. Everything was done by hand—well and a little by spark—from the ground up. By the time the babies were a year old, the home was built, and the couple moved in.

A month later Stuart and Allison got married with Stiles, Peter, Spencer, Chris, Noah, Isaac, Jackson, Gen and Klarysa as witnesses. Stiles held a baby in each arm while the ceremony took place. Stuart had proposed a month prior the first night in their new home. Neither wanted to wait to get married and Stiles didn’t blame them one bit. They were it for each other just like he and Peter.

Ten months later, Allison gave birth to twins, two boys they named Kayden and Kyler. Stiles gave birth a month after Allison to twins, two girls they named, Nova and Nora. Thus, their small pack grew to a total of twelve.

Spencer and Gen hadn’t planned on children but when two twin girls and their little brother wandered into the territory, running from their abusive alpha, the couple took them in with no questions asked. The little boy was named Theodore—Teddy for short cause he preferred it—and the girls were named Sonya and Sasha. At four and fourteen years of age respectively, they became part of the Hale Pack. It was learned not long after that Teddy was a werecat and Spencer was thrilled. Sonya and Sasha were human and revealed they probably could’ve gotten away from the pack sooner, but they refused to leave their baby brother behind. Thus, the pack grew again for a total of fifteen.

By the time Ollie and Izzy were two and the two sets of twins were one, Noah, Chris, Genevieve, Isaac and Jackson became part of their pack officially. Surprisingly Noah and Chris took the news of the supernatural really well. Gen was a bit shocked but when Spencer got nervous, she merely kissed him, and the tension immediately left him. She had already known about Spencer but not the rest of them.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Stiles and Stuart became partners, the partnership approved by Rossi and Morgan who both agreed that they worked best side by side. The first time they had to use lethal force neither of them spoke a word for two days, simply curled up together, with Lili and Fio purring softly to comfort them. It soon became a giant puppy pile and the smiles on their kids's faces brought them out of the dark place they had fallen into.

That night the couples each made love—Peter so intense that Stiles nearly blacked out and Allison riding Stuart so slowly but sensually that Stuart did black out—and within the next two weeks it was confirmed that once again Allison and Stiles were pregnant.

Nine months later came the biggest expansion to their pack when Stiles had triplets and Allison had another set of twins. Peter named their triplets Raven, Rylee and River—three little girls—all with their daddy’s brown hair and two of the three with his amber eyes. Allison and Stuart named their twins Harper and Hadley—two girls—both with their mother’s dark brown hair but sporting their daddy’s amber eyes. Thus, their pack grew once more, now a total of twenty-five.

Though the two couples kept their separate homes another home was soon built further in. In fact, the clearing made itself known to them, offering its earth as a foundation. Peter was the only one who was unaware of what was being done. Stiles had listened to Peter talk about his pack over the years and what it was like living in a pack house. With Stuart, Stiles and Allison working together, with help from Spencer and Gen while their dads watched the niblings, the home was built in just under two years. Stiles was shocked they managed to keep it from Peter that long but the look on his face when the alpha saw the pack house was worth it.

Needless to say, their first night in the pack house was insane. Stiles thinks he might’ve scarred his brother for life when the younger twin was coming to the kitchen for a glass of water. Stuart might have seen his pale ass when Peter took him on the kitchen counter, but Stiles couldn’t feel too bad when his brain was mush. 

Stuart wouldn’t look him in the eye at first the next morning but then sent him a shit eating smirk as he said he now knew they truly weren’t identical. Stiles has a birthmark on his right ass cheek and Stuart does not. It made Stiles blush crimson red, and Peter smirked proudly because the birthmark was surrounded by bruises the wolf himself had sucked into his mate’s skin.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Seven months later, Allison gave birth to another little boy that they named, Keegan. He surprised them all by having dark blonde hair, but his eyes were mocha brown just like his mother’s. He was born two months early and it scared them, but thankfully, he was healthy and home by the time his original due date came around. Stuart hardly ever put little Keegan down for nearly two months.

Stiles was shocked when almost four years to the day since Oliver was born, he had another child. He didn’t even realize he was pregnant for over half of it. He had no idea if Peter knew. This time they had a little girl and Stiles asked Peter if they could name her Talia. The alpha wolf sobbed and agreed immediately. Little Tally is an exact replica of her papa except with dark black hair like the woman she’s named after. With Keegan and Talia’s birth their pack expanded once again. They now had a pack with a total of twenty seven members.

After that, no more kids were born for over a year and a half. It wasn’t because they didn’t want more, but because a case went wrong, and Stuart ended up kidnapped. The men who took him were not just planning to kill him but to take his spark as well. Stiles showed no mercy as he slaughtered each and every one of them. Peter and Allison didn’t let either of the twins out of their sight for the next two weeks. Stuart was skittish and had several panic attacks, but after a couple weeks of going out into the forest with his twin, he came back healed—not completely of course—and was able to continue thriving.

Stiles’s actions had been rash and impulsive, and he expected to be fired for it. Instead, he was called into Rossi’s office and offered a promotion. Rossi wanted to retire and thought Stiles was the perfect choice to lead the team. Stiles agreed on the condition that his brother would be considered for his second. The agreement was made and six months later, Morgan stepped down for Stuart to take his place. There was nothing that could ruin that day for the twins. Add in a celebration, some alcohol and friskiness and boom. Nine months later the most recent little niblings were born.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Allison had a little girl they named Christine—Chrissy for short—and she was their first spark. Her eyes glowed emerald green as she let out a shriek when she took her first breath in the world. Stuart was a very proud daddy, and he may or may not have done a celebratory dance right then and there. Stiles totally joined in of course and Peter captured it all on his phone. Thus, their pack grew to a total of twenty eight.

They rounded out their pack to a total of thirty, when at four in the morning, on April 8th, Stiles gave birth to a little girl they named Selene. It wasn’t a name they planned on, but it fit the circumstances in which she was born. 

They had been on their way home when Stiles cried out causing Stuart to swerve slightly. In a matter of minutes too far from home or a hospital, Stiles was laid out on a blanket on the grass with his legs spread and his nails digging into his mate’s arm. It was hard to see anything but then suddenly the moonlight shone down upon them illuminating the four of them, as their little girl took her first breath. Stiles nearly passed out from exhaustion with her cradled to his chest but before he did, he thanked the Goddess Selene.

It wasn’t until he woke up in bed later that he realized what else the goddess had done. He cried softly so as not to wake the two babies on his chest. Selene had been small but the other little one, a boy they named Anakin, was even smaller. Stiles couldn’t fall asleep until he knew his son was going to be okay. The name for him was chosen not just because of how much Stiles loves Star Wars but because Anakin means warrior and their son was a fighter.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Over the course of a decade, they had added two beta wolves, Jackson and Isaac, five humans, Chris, Noah, Genevieve, Sonya and Sasha and two werecats, Spencer and Teddy. Not to mention their Aunt Klarysa. Then they added sixteen children. 

Of Stuart and Allison’s children Isabella, Kayden and Kyler are all human. Harper and Hadley are wolves. Keegan has a little magic—they think he’s a light mage—and of course little Christine is a spark. 

Of Stiles and Peter’s children Oliver is a wolf—an alpha heir—who will become the alpha after Peter steps aside. Nova and Nora are beta wolves. Raven, Rylee and River are humans. Talia is an omega wolf—Peter is fiercely protective over her more than the rest for that very reason—and her eyes often glow a sea green color instead of beta gold or blue. Anakin and Selene are their sparks.

When he was younger, Stiles always wanted a large family. He never wanted the kind of silence that nearly suffocated him in his home after his mother died. Peter has gladly made his wish come true many times over, and although Stiles never used to picture being pregnant, it’s something so intimate to him that he doesn’t mind a bit. There's something so precious about the little life growing inside him. He especially loved when Peter would always nuzzle at his belly and shift to curl around his front with a happy rumble.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Stiles is startled from his reminiscing by a kick to his bladder and he groans. “All right.” He rubs at his stomach and gives Allison’s hand a squeeze before heading inside to the bathroom. After he does his business, he takes in his reflection in the mirror. He’s just over thirty four years old now and he doesn’t feel like it at all. He knows that’s part of being not just an Alpha Mate but an Elite Magick Spark and Shadow Mage as well. Still, he expected to feel his age every now and then and when he doesn’t, it always surprises him.

Strong arms wrap around him, hands cupping the swell of his stomach and Stiles sighs happily, leaning into the firm chest of his mate. Peter nuzzles his neck with a happy sigh. “What’s that beautiful brain thinking about now?” the wolf asks softly not wanting to shatter the calm contentment of the moment. 

The spark meets his mate’s gaze in the mirror. “I’m reminiscing about the past fourteen years. I’m thinking about each and every moment that led us to this point and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“No?” Peter inquires. “Not a single thing?”

Stiles shakes his head. “Nope. Not a single thing. Even something miniscule could alter our lives. Can you imagine if altering even one tiny thing, changed things enough that our boys were born girls.”

Peter’s nose scrunches up and Stiles laughs, making the wolf preen. “Well, although Oliver would be perfect either way, I love him as the young man he is becoming. The same can be said for Anakin, although he doesn't have enough hair yet to be considered manly.”

“So, when I’m balding I won’t be manly anymore?” Stiles says with a pout on his lips. He knows what that does to his mate.

“Oh darling, you will always be my man, my mate, my husband and my everything.”

Stiles bites back his grin as best he can, gasping at the way his mate bites at his neck. “Sappywolf,” he manages around a moan. Pregnancy always makes Stiles ten times more horny than normal and that’s saying something. He shoves Peter back and up so he can get at the wolf’s cock to slick it up. Without any preamble he shoves his sweats down, carefully leans against the counter and spreads his legs.

The invitation is all it takes to get the wolf to hitch Stiles’s legs up and slide right in. They learned pretty quickly that when Stiles is pregnant, he leaks slick. After a panic attack and assurances, it’s completely normal from his aunt that left him blushing, he let Peter eat him out for hours. It makes quickies much easier that’s for sure.

It doesn’t take long for Stiles to cum and paint his belly white. Peter growls and pumps his hips harder, his hand rubbing Stiles’s cum into the skin of the pale, mole spotted swell. He pulls out and strokes himself to completion adding his own cum to the mix and rubbing that in too.

Stiles quirks a brow at him and then smirks at the pleased rumble, and puffed out chest of his mate. He says nothing as Peter nuzzles his stomach as he lowers Stiles to his feet once more. The spark absolutely melts when Peter starts talking to their little one in soft soothing tones.

✶ ❤︎ ✶

Forty-five minutes after Stiles left the porch swing, the two mates emerge from the bathroom to find the niblings all curled up in the pack den with their grandpas smack dab in the center. Chris and Noah have these expressions of pure happiness on their faces that let the parents know there is nowhere else the two men would rather be. 

Peter shoos Stiles away from the prep work for lunch and Stiles nips at his hand for it before joining Allison outside in one of the two hammocks. The breeze ruffles their hair, and the sun is warm on their faces. Everyone is lazily basking in the feeling of pack.

They might’ve done so for hours if not for the two expectant parents letting out identical cries that made their husbands come running. Since they found out they were pregnant with their first child, they knew they would never go to a hospital. Stuart carries Allison and Peter carries Stiles towards the small cabin where Stuart and Stiles have spent so many countless hours practicing their magic.

It doesn't take long, both Stiles and Allison pros at it by this point. They lace their fingers together and at the alpha’s signal, they push. Stiles can feel the magic building around them with every cry, groan, moan and push. It’s still exhausting no matter how many times they’ve done this before. Stiles always feels odd when just for the birth his spark adjusts his body to give him a vagina so the baby can be born easier. He’s glad to not have to worry about a scar on his stomach although he wouldn’t have cared.

Genevieve, Spencer and Klarysa bring hot water, clean blankets, clothes, cloths and food that they set outside before retreating. Peter may or may not have—absolutely did—gotten extremely territorial the last time anyone got too close.

As the final contractions hit, Allison and Stiles grip each other’s hand so tight their knuckles turn white and let out a scream with their final push. Suspended in time there is nothing but silence as the world seems to fade out of focus before snapping back into focus with the cries of two little ones.

Peter cradles their son so carefully, the awe on his face something Stiles will never get enough of. When ice blue eyes flutter open and meet the eyes of his papa, Peter gasps. “Stiles?”

“Mm?” Stiles hums, feeling sleepy. “Wha’s w’ong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Dearheart. We just have a little kitten now.”

Stiles’s eyes snap open super wide and he makes grabby hands for their child. “Let me see.”

Peter easily acquiesces to his mate’s plea and settles the little one in the spark’s arms. Once he’s settled, Peter flashes his eyes crimson red and the baby flashes bright orange eyes with just barely discernable black slits before they fade back to blue.

Stiles beams proudly and nuzzles their son who manages to nuzzle back a little. “I know what to call him,” the spark whispers.

“I might have an idea of what you’re thinking. Tell me what we shall call him, sweetheart.”

“Leonidas. Little Leo because he’s just a cub. He’s our little cubbykins and who knows what kind of werecat he’ll be. He could totally be a lion.” Stiles’s words start to slur as the exhaustion sets in and he barely registers his mate’s rumbling chuckle in response.

The alpha curls around his mate smiling fondly as the spark’s will works even in his sleep to clean up their son, himself and wrap the baby in a pale blue blanket with a little white hat on his head. With his mate relaxed and settled, Peter turns his attention to the other spark and his niece.

Allison hiccups a sob as she cradles their daughter to her chest. She’s covered in a sheen of sweat and Stuart is speechless. They name her Lauralie with Peter’s blessing in honor of her Aunt Laura who they lost in the fire. She’s a little omega wolf like Stiles and Peter’s daughter Talia and Allison knows how fiercely Peter will protect little Laura. Allison glances over to see Peter watching and offers him a smile that he easily returns. There’s a certain softness to his features that isn’t there outside these moments. It’s something she loves seeing. 

Pretty soon little Laura is back in her arms, cleaned and wrapped in a lavender blanket with a little pastel green hat on her head and Stuart curls around his wife and daughter with glowing turquoise eyes. He and Peter exchange a proud look as Allison and Stiles sleep soundly with their newest babies on their chests. They’ll spend a few hours here in this little bubble together, but it won’t really be that long at all. There’s a reason they come to the cabin to have the children aside from the seclusion. It’s like Stiles said to Stuart a decade ago…‘We are, as of the moment we stepped into the cabin, a step out of time. So…we have time.’

✶ ❤︎ ✶

When they return, they have a giant celebration, all of their children, betas and pack members gathered in the backyard for a bonfire. The mighty Hale Pack under Alpha Peter Hale and Alpha Mate Stiles Hale now numbers thirty-two strong. As for the fire, Stiles and Stuart took every precaution with to ensure Peter would be okay and that the fire would never escape the metal ring. Stiles and Allison are in that state of sleepy but not sleeping and alertness but not fully alert as they sway on the hammocks, their newest niblings asleep on their chests. Peter is fully shifted lying on the ground next to them.

The sparks have strengthened the integrity of the hammocks over the years, so that when the niblings eventually migrate over for cuddles as is the norm during bonfire nights, they can all fit. Pretty soon the two hammocks merge and become a giant one almost like a mattress suspended in the air. It continues growing and growing as each pup joins until it spans half of the yard. It hovers a slow up and down rhythm that puts the youngest ones to sleep and relaxes the rest of the pack to near sleep.

Stuart flicks his finger towards the sky, the clouds parting to let the moon shine brightly upon each and every member. The light of Selene lights up their bonds and sends a surge of the goddesses’s power through them.

The stars burn brighter and several shoot across the sky.

“Ma’e ‘ish ‘addy!” Talia says.

Stiles hums softly and glances at his mate, then his niece—because Allison is Peter’s niece and he’s Peter’s mate, and yeah, it’s a whole thing—and then his father. Next, he scans his gaze over their children, from the eldest two, Oliver and Isabella to the youngest two, Anakin and Lauralie. He watches Jackson and Isaac who mated a couple years ago. Then glances at Sonya, Sasha and Teddy before settling his gaze on his twin. His brother is already looking back at him. With a smile, the older twin closes his eyes and makes his wish a silent hope that echoes in his mind. 

‘I wish to never forget how I got here today, to never lose hope, to love without restraint, to raise strong, loyal and compassionate children, to have our pack grow for centuries to come, and to always remember how loved I am by them, how much they are loved by me.’