#ptsd sam discourse

[whump-tr0pes]

Relief

Many thanks to @newbornwhumperfly for being so generous in letting me put their boy Morja in Situations, and many apologies to them as well for holding onto this story for so many months while waiting for me to finish it.

My masterlist

Morja is a diathésimos, one of a class of indentured servants owned by society’s elite - though some would call them slaves. He has been tasked with a mission of critical importance by his anóteros: to infiltrate a dangerous family that has taken refuge in the north, and kill the criminal that they are harboring: Gavin Stormbeck.

“It is your part to kill me, mine to die without flinching.”

— Epictetus, from Discourses (Translated by Robert Dobbin)

Your Part to Kill | My Part to Die | To Die Quietly | Despair | Dawn | Breakfast Part 1 | Breakfast Part 2 | To Die Without Flinching

Contents: nightmare, [captivity, beating, gaslighting, forced to hurt someone, torture, flaying, so much blood, begging, death] all in a nightmare, collared whumpee, conditioned whumpee, past murder, PTSD, emeto, comfort, flashbacks, permanent injury, chronic pain, misunderstanding whump, recovery

~

Morja instantly knew where he was; the peeling paint on the walls, the barred door, and the cold blue lights overhead told him everywhere he needed to know. He was back in his cell room, back in Crayton. He was back where he belonged. 

There was an addition to the room, and the room seemed to have grown to accommodate it: a large metal table with leather cuffs at the top and bottom. Morja shuddered as he looked at it. He knew exactly what it was for. He had been on one himself, more than once. He wondered if his anóteros meant for him to climb onto it. 

Before the lack of answer could worry him, there was a sound behind him. Boots. A voice. 

“Hello, my diathésimos,” his owner benefactor said. A steady hand slid up the back of his neck, over his collar, and knotted in his hair. He dropped to his knees in an instant.

“Anóteros,” he said, his lips trembling. His hands settled in his lap and he tilted his head back, baring his throat. He was where he belonged at last - but his eyes burned, and his mouth was dry. He couldn’t explain it. He belonged at his anóteros’ feet, did he not? He had never known another home than this. 

No, there was another place, where he had a bed, not a cot - where there were no bars on the door, and there were windows that opened to the outside–

A blow snapped his head to the side. He accepted it without a gasp. His right ear rang. 

“Where did you just go, Morja?” the mayor said, his voice low and smooth. Morja knew better, though - he could hear the threat beneath the words. 

He answered honestly. He must always be honest.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. He closed his eyes and waited for the correction. 

Another blow whipped across his face, splitting his lip. Blood began to trickle down his chin. It itched. He did not lift his hand to wipe it. When it dripped on his wrists, then the floor, he knew he would need to clean it after this. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever been anywhere but this,” his anóteros said conversationally. “Other than when you are serving me on my missions, of course.”

An image flashed behind Morja’s closed eyes: a breakfast table, laden with eggs, bacon, toast. 

“Yes, anóteros,” he breathed. 

“Open your eyes, Morja,” the mayor said.

Morja obeyed.

He barely caught his gasp when he realized there was someone lying on the table now: Sam, the youngest of the family that was harboring Gavin Uriah Stormbeck. He remembered where that room was now: in that family’s house. 

Their wrists and ankles were strapped down to the table. With the table at eye level, he could see how tightly the restraints were buckled, the leather digging into their flesh. They trembled and stared back at him in terror, their mouth open but silent.

Morja’s owner benefactor drew the knife from his belt and held it out in front of Morja’s face. Morja held perfectly still, prepared for the knife to carve into his own cheek - but the knife hovered there, the blade between him and Sam. He could see himself reflected in the wickedly sharp steel.

“This one was captured harboring Gavin Stormbeck,” the mayor said coldly. “It is your job to punish them for this crime.” 

Morja’s throat tightened as he swallowed. His hands shook and he forced him to be still against his thighs. “Punish them… sir?” he croaked.

“Yes,” his anóteros said. “Gavin Stormbeck is a scourge upon this world, and they have actively worked to prolong his reign of terror. There must be punishment for this. You will deliver it.” The mayor flipped the knife so he was holding the blade, gesturing with the grip toward Sam. “Now, diathésimos,” he hissed.

Morja’s legs shook under him as he pushed himself to his feet. Sam met his eyes, and their eyes went wider as Morja took the knife from the mayor. His anóteros stepped behind him as he moved forward, as if in a trance, until his legs pressed against the table. The knife trembled in his grip.

He forced his mind to go cold and blank - like it so often did before the kill - as he brought the knife to Sam Vasterling’s sleeve. He made quick work of slashing it away from their arm until it was bare, the thin muscles rippling and tugging beneath the skin as they struggled to free themself. Then, as he blew out a slow breath through his lips, he brought the knife to their forearm. 

“Morja, please,” Sam begged.

The knife froze over Sam’s skin. Morja met their eyes. They looked so frightened, so young, strapped down to the table and pleading for their life. 

But Morja had killed younger people than them. And he had never spared anyone just because they begged him to. He forced down the bile that clawed up his throat, and slid the knife into Sam’s forearm down to the muscle. 

Sam screamed. They made no effort to bite it back. Tears welled in their eyes and streamed back over their temples. Morja carved into their arm again, staying within the first few layers of skin, fat, and muscle - avoiding the arteries. He could see the play of their muscles in the gash as they fought the restraints. Again, he cut, and veins stood out in their neck as they screamed.

He had seen his anóteros hurt people like this. He knew, now, how very effective it was. 

After he had sliced their arm to ribbons, he cut away the rest of their shirt. He avoided touching their skin as much as he could, as if one touch would burn him. They looked at him, trying to meet his eyes, desperate, writhing against the leather cuffs. He looked away. 

“Please, no, no, no!” Sam shrieked as Morja sliced through the thin skin over their breastbone. They shuddered and writhed, tears streaming, wrists twisting in the restraints. Morja’s shirt was soaked through with sweat. His hands shook as he gripped the knife. He cut again, and again, and again. Blood pooled in the hollows of Sam’s body. It rolled down their sides and onto the table, then dripped onto the floor. The entire room smelled thick with blood. 

And behind him, his anóteros stood silent as a sentinel. He chewed his lip and continued cutting Sam to pieces. They screamed and sobbed. The handle of the knife was slippery with sweat. 

“Isaac!” Sam screamed, finally squeezing their eyes shut and turning their face away from Morja. “Isaac, h-help me!”

Morja shuddered. The knife froze above Sam, dripping blood onto their skin. 

Sam whimpered and cringed away from Morja. “I-Isaac,” they sobbed. “Please…”

“Continue,” Morja’s anóteros hissed from behind him. A chill feathered down Morja’s spine as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

His hand tightened around the knife. The smell of blood was making him sick. Sam was barely more than a child, and Morja felt - he felt, he knew - they had nothing to do with the evil his owner benefactor was claiming. But if he could make them scream loud enough that Isaac heard them…

If Isaac Moore came, he could force Morja to stop this.

He brought the knife to patch of unbroken skin over Sam’s stomach and dug the blade in. Sam screamed anew. 

He fileted them open, carving into them with a cruelty he had only seen his anóteros reserve for the most depraved traitors of the North. He flayed them alive until his hands were soaked with their blood. They screamed and screamed until their voice went raw and began to fade. Still, he cut. Still, he carved. He slipped on the blood pooling on the floor. Everything was red. He was drowning in it. And still, Isaac Moore did not come and rip the knife from his hands, strike him down, shoot him dead. 

Still, he carved. 

Sam Vasterling screamed. 

“Keep going, diathésimos,” the mayor said. “Remember, this is the fate that awaits all who harbor traitors to the North. They are guilty. They deserve this.”

The small body on the table juddered and bled and screamed. They barely looked human anymore. Still, they did not die. More blood had come out of them than Morja had ever seen in his life. Still they did not die. They only screamed and bled. 

Morja’s shirt was soaked with sweat. He stared down into Sam’s chest, at their beating heart. He had carved away everything else. Still, they lived, and cried, and bled. 

“Isaac,” they rasped. “Isaac, please…”

Bile seared the back of his throat. 

They raised their eyes to his. Their eyes were bloodshot, red from crying, but they were brown, he noticed. They looked so frightened. “Morja,” they breathed. “Help me.”

Morja stared back at them for an eternal moment. Tears streamed from their eyes. 

He raised the knife and plunged it into their exposed heart. They shuddered once, then their head fell back. Their eyes were blank, their mouth open. They were - finally, mercifully - dead.

Morja braced for the correction.

His anóteros said nothing for a breath. Then, the mayor said, “No matter. You still have the rest of that family to get through.”

Morja opened his eyes. 

His room was pitch black, and the sheets on his bed were soaked through with cold sweat. He could still smell blood thick in his nostrils. 

He staggered out of bed and fumbled for the doorknob. When he found it, he wrenched the door open and dashed down the dimly-lit hall and into the kitchen. He threw open the sliding door to the backyard and made it a few shaky steps before he fell to his hands and knees, retching into the grass. When he was done, he slumped over and sobbed weakly. 

He still felt the youngest one’s blood on his hands, tacky and warm. He still smelled it. He still heard their screams. He still felt his anóteros’ hand on the back of his neck. 

“Morja?” a small voice called out behind him.

He gasped and spun around. Sam Vasterling stood in the sliding door, silhouetted by the light in the kitchen. The golden light illuminated their curls like a halo. They took a halting step out of the house. Their hand was extended towards him. “Are… you alright?”

Morja blinked. In the fraction of a second that his eyes were closed, he saw them - bound to the table, coated in blood, flayed and screaming and begging for mercy. His stomach heaved again. He bowed his head in shame and horror. 

Sam drew closer. They were so young, but they showed no fear as they went to their knees and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Morja wasn’t sure if they didn’t know that he could break their neck with just his hands, could drag them inside and cut their throat with a kitchen knife… or if they knew, and chose to master the fear. He trembled, but held still as their hand rubbed up and down on his arm. The touch was gentle, so unlike–

He flinched at the memory - it was just a dream, but he had so many real memories of it, too - of his anóteros’ hand whipping across his face. Sam’s hand paused on his shoulder. “Is this… is it okay that I’m doing this?” they whispered.

A chasm opened inside Morja’s chest. His face crumpled and he began to weep. 

He leaned against Sam, bending his head so low that it rested in their lap. Their hand rested on his shoulder again. He reached out, his own hand shaking badly, and covered their hand with his own. His broad hand swallowed theirs. 

“Shhh,” Sam soothed. “I’m sorry, was it… a nightmare?”

Morja shuddered with shame. He pressed his head against their knee and nodded. 

Sam pushed out a slow breath. “Gotcha. I… I get them too, sometimes.” 

Morja blinked and tightened his hand over theirs. The thought of them waking, cold and shuddering, from a nightmare, made his chest ache. He rolled his shoulder to ease the old twinge there. 

“I get them less now,” Sam said, stroking their thumb along his arm. “But they still happen from time to time. About… our time in Colleen Stormbeck’s house. I… I get a lot of nightmares about getting shot.”

Morja’s eyes went wide, and he sat up. His eyes darted over Sam, looking for a scar - and his eyes finally settled on their right hand, the one they always held curled against their stomach. 

Sam followed their gaze and nodded. “Yeah,” they murmured. “It was a few years ago now. I was shot by a Stormbeck guard as we were escaping Colleen.” They smiled. “Finn saved my life.”

“Does it hurt?” Morja asked, before he could stop himself. He looked at his hands and bowed his head for his impertinence. 

Sam didn’t deliver a correction, though; they said, “Sometimes. Well… pretty often, yeah. It twinges. Sometimes I need to wear a sling.” They shrugged. “But it’s gotten better as time has gone on.”

Morja’s own shoulder twinged again, and he rolled it in its socket. 

Sam inclined their head. “You hurt, too?”

Morja’s mouth went dry. “I… no. Nothing so bad as… no.”

Sam looked at him for a long time. Then they said, “Gray says comparing things doesn’t do anyone any good.” They glanced out into the night. 

Morja stared down at his hands. His mind churned as he tried to decipher the meaning in Sam’s words. Slowly, he said, “My… shoulder. It hurts. Often.” He pointed to it stiffly.

“Don’t complain, diathésimos, or I will teach you the true meaning of pain. Back up on your knees, or I’ll string you up by your collar. Five more lashes for your impertinence.”

He shuddered and waited for the correction, or the promise of one. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah,” they said. They looked toward the house. “I’ll be right back.” They pushed themself to their feet and made their way inside to fetch a cane, or perhaps a whip, to punish Morja for the complaint.

His head dipped low and his stomach churned with guilt and shame - and a flash of something else, something he could not allow himself to name. Something that felt dangerous to feel. Something that rankled for having been guided right into that trap. 

Still, he should have known better. He had a lifetime of pain, telling him that he should have known better. His hands curled into fists as he waited for Sam to return. When he heard their footsteps at the back door, and then the swoosh of their feet through the grass, he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth together. He must be silent when accepting this correction. He must not wake anyone in the sleeping house with a gasp or a cry. 

He had earned Sam’s disgust with his weakness. He must not make a sound, now. 

Sam went to their knees beside him, and he held perfectly still - save for his hands, which he slid together, palm to palm, so they could tie him. 

“Here,” they said softly. 

He held back a whimper. Perhaps they had not returned with a cane at all, but something worse - like a knife. He forced his eyes open. Their hand was moving toward his shoulder - the bad one. He froze. He braced. 

Something warm pressed against the knot that always lived in the flesh there. He flinched and uttered a shocked sound. 

“Sorry,” Sam muttered. “Is it too hot still?”

Morja turned his eyes to theirs. Their eyebrows were tugged together, holding something out to him - a warm compress. They had another one, balanced on their injured hand. “Here,” they said, holding one out to him. “The heat… it helps, sometimes. With me. Maybe it might with you, too.”

Morja stared at the compress with wide eyes. Sam held it a little higher, and he finally took it. Heat soaked into his finger tips. Sam took their own compress in their good hand and pressed it to their injured arm, over their bicep. They took a deep, shivering breath and let their eyes fall shut. 

Morja’s back ached in thwarted anticipation of the cane. He glanced at the compress in his hand, then back to Sam; their face wasn’t twisted in disgust - not at him, nor at anything else that he could see. They were smiling lightly. And they were using the compress. Haltingly, hesitantly, he pressed it to his own shoulder like Sam had done for him. 

Heat bloomed in the knotted muscles and he let out a trapped breath. His eyes burned with unshed tears. He slumped a little to the side - a little closer to Sam. They opened their eyes and smiled at him. 

“Nice, huh?” they said. 

Morja’s throat tightened. His head hung low. A dry sob shivered in his chest. 

Sam raised their curled hand and rested it on his shoulder. They slid it across his back, over the healed scars. Morja’s head dipped lower, lower still, until he was folded in half over his knees. He cried softly as Sam rubbed his back, not saying anything at all. 

@womping-grounds , @free-2bmee , @quirkykayleetam , @walkingchemicalfire , @inpainandsuffering , @redwingedwhump , @burtlederp , @castielamigos-whump-side-blog , @whatwhumpcomments , @whumpywhumper , @stxck-fxck , @whumps-the-word , @justplainwhump ,  @finder-of-rings , @inky-whump , @thatsthewhump , @orchidscript , @this-mightaswell-happen , @newandfiguringitout , @whumpkitty , @pretty-face-breaker , @cinnamonflavoredhugs , @pebbledriscoll , @im-just-here-for-the-whump , @endless-whump , @grizzlie70 , @oops-its-whump , @kixngiggles, @1phoenixfeather , @butwhatifyouwrite , @carnagecardinal ​, @annablogsposts , @suspicious-whumping-egg , @starfields08000 , @morning-star-whump , @theelvishcowgirl , @i-eat-worlds

[davekat-sucks]

imisshomestuck popping off with the jake meta, damn

i agree completely, but also this paragraph

"Unhappy endings are better because of that. Fuck that. That's not why people read stories. People read them to see the ideal, to feel the potential of a character and then later see their faith and hope be rewarded. Reading a fictional story shouldn't be like gambling where you hope the writer ends up closing a characters story well and having them turn into the best version of themselves. Why do so many writers have the idea that reality always ends up being shitty and disappointing! Stories should too! It's like that stupid Mad at Disney song. We should all be bitter and nihilistic. The 1990s nihilism trend did a number to these mother fuckers. They think that trying is pointless and flaws are weights around our ankles that make it impossible to win the race of lie."

yes holy shit im so fucking TIRED of nihilism in stories, yet it seems its all i can find in everything nowadays (example: GOT, that was ass and im tired of pretending otherwise, all the good interesting main characters dying triggered my homestuck ptsd). and i fucking hate how this garbage webcomic has ruined my perception of character interaction for me forever because nothing comes even close! and all i get in fanworks is davekat uwu shit or discourse! im so fucking pissed! i hate hussie, hiveswap, the epilogues and hsbc and this idiotic fucking nu fandom!

someone send some book/shows/manga recs plz

in exchange i can give some too, if you like homestucks minimalist art style give alex toths works a try, his artbooks in particular are great. invader zim, irkens is where hussie stole the trolls and alternia from. also emily the strange, the maxx (1993), sam & max. for manga, lupin iii is fun.

There is only such much nihilism I can take before it becomes annoying that we get it, everything fucking sucks. Worse if said media tells me that I'm an idiot for even caring for watching/reading the series in the first place. At this point, it makes one question then who the hell you are writing for at this point if you slap the audience in the face and purposely make yourself feel like shit. As for series: Smiling Friends, Mashle: Muscles and Magic, Crayon Shin-chan, Gintama, Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunsou,

[honey-crypt]

sdv bachelors with reader age regressed due to ptsd?

a/n: i know there's a lot of discourse around age regression so i wanna say a few things first. age regression as a trauma response is valid, it's a coping mechanism like projecting and displacement. of course, it's not the healthiest, but it happens. age regression as a kink is not valid. i do not condone that. nonetheless, i am happy to provide representation on this subject and i hope to reduce the stigma around involuntary age regression <3

warning: involuntary age regression

★ the sdv bachelors with an age-regressing!ptsd!reader ★

alex

★ he's not the best at the whole mental health thing, especially when it comes to traumatic age regression

★ however, you're a dear friend/his partner, so he does his best to support you through it

★ he often takes you to see dusty when you're in that state, usually petting and playing with the dog helps you through your episode

elliott

★ he minored in psychology so he has some prior knowledge about ptsd and age regression before meeting you

★ sings you soft songs, plays gentle music on his radio, or reads you fairytales when you're regressing

★ keeps a stuffed animal for you as comfort in his cabin

harvey

★ he may not be a psychologist but he's a doctor and knows how to help you best out of all the bachelors

★ always provides a listening ear while you're regressing, as he knows that's one of the best support efforts he can provide

★ makes an effort to compile resources for the other pelican residents about traumatic age regression in case they find you in that state, as well as connecting you with a therapy whose specialty is in EDMR and talk therapy

sam

★ he has a little brother so he knows what you need when you age regress from a trigger/stressor

★ always has the fridge stocked up with juice boxes and little snacks for you, regardless if you're in an age regressed state or not

★ does his best to redirect you from destructive acts, such as temper tantrums, by utilizing his empathy and kindness

shane

★ bro is NOT good at helping you but he tries his best

★ like sam, he has a little kid that he cares for so he basically treats you like jas when you're age regressing

★ lets you play with the chickens as a means to ride out your state

sebastian

★ does proper research on traumatic age regression before he starts helping you out during your episodes

★ sewed you a stuffed bunny as a gift for you to use as comfort

★ he keeps plenty of items in his bedroom for you to use while age regressing, such as toys and snacks

[selfhealingsweetheart]

hi! i'm sam

08.29.00

they/them

t4t + monogamous

ptsd + dissociative identity disorder

schizoaffective

narcissist + borderline

spiritual, occultist, cartomancer

virgo, intp, 9w1

f/o: gerry keay from the magnus archives

kin: sam from sam & max: freelance police

system: traumagenic dissociative & polyfragmented

💭 here, i'll be curating a space for me to express myself more.

🤐 i can be really shy or reluctant to talk about certain things, but i'm trying to be more open about it all

💌 i aim to bond over shared experiences with people and even help others find peace and their own healing along with mine.

ℹ️ pro-kink, anti-censorship, occassionally nsfw, minors dni. this is a traumacore slash spiritual blog which will be posting about all types of trauma without trigger warnings, as well as my own spiritual perspective, in case that's not your thing.

⚠️ dni: anti-ship aka pro-censorship, anti endogenic systems, anti self-diagnosis, under 18, terf/radfem/tehm, anti bi lesbian, circulate any callout posts, anti-ai/web3, anti amab trans men/anti afab trans women, don't believe in transandrophobia, aphobic, etc etc. i am too old to be getting into dumb shit online with all yall, i have shit to deal with in real life that unhinged discourse is not gonna be solving anytime soon so let's just keep it pushing.

[theythemsam]

The fact that theres people in this fandom that claim Sam (or Dean for that matter, but mainly Sam since his symptoms are more internalised than alcoholism and violent outbursts) can't have PTSD (and certainly no other mental illness) bc it would make them weak... queen, pick up your crown, your ableism is showing

[cdreamie]

“if he ever laid hands on dream it would be a one off incident” right that doesnt change him starving him and letting quackity in to torture him and helpijg him bring in tools and weapons and threwtening him and gaslighting him though like this id not the serve u think it is !!!! 😭😭😭 “he would feel so guilty” Good man maybe dont let someone who trusted you get tortured

[cmyknoise]

I've been seeing a lot of discourse posts about exile today (both from you and others!) and while I def agree that exile is being handled SO poorly and it's really frustrating, what's the context behind recent stuff?? did something happen today that specifically related to exile? /gen question im just kinda confused lol

don't have many clips or anything rn.

but basically c!bbh did a lot of blaming c!tommy for things again, like breaking the statue he made him when he died, among other things, putting him on the same level or worse than c!schlatt or c!dream when he spoke?

and he did this while touring around new member cpk. most the fandom critical and discourse has been centered around this, because it's a pattern that keeps happening where the new members of the server keep getting told things like how c!tommy is awful, without people saying much about c!dream other than 'he did bad things'.

this is a problem of course because it leads to a bunch of new characters being given massively unreliable information and has led to a lot of the newer characters thinking c!dream is a good guy. which, mind you was fine the first few times! unreliable narration and information can spice up a story.

but it's becoming an issue when nearly every character is blaming the wrong person, new and old.

especially since so many have witnessed things dream has done first hand to harm others. although of course the cc!s wouldn't think c!dream is a good person, it keeps unintentionally pushing this narritive of victim blaming c!tommy for the shit he went through. 'well MAYBE he'll learn a lesson this time!' when time and time again he's suffered and not learned anything.

and like, so this is a problem because you would have people like... like c!eryn! who for a long while thought maybe dream was a good guy, and thought building shrines to him around would for some reason help tommy, not realizing the extent of things dream did to him. luckily, he and other characters like c!michael have gotten some information for this to change.

but there are still new and old characters that ignore information they've been given, so people are just really frustrated that some things like c!tommy's abuse, ptsd, and trauma is used against him constantly, regardless of whether he 'deserves' it or not, and by introducing more characters or at least explaining to them that he's 'awful', and this keeps happening... its frustrating. especially since, at least during the hiatus thats sort of been going on throughout most of 2021 and 2022, where content isnt being created as much as say, 2020, it means these characters that start off hating tommy because they're being misinformed, don't really get the development to learn otherwise? and most likely won't.

its just this trope on the dsmp at this point. what can you do with your character when you join? make a list! past trauma? sure! friendship with other members? yep! hate tommy? that one too.

even if it's utterly unwarranted. there are characters that have their dislike of him, for one reason or another, such as jack manifold, and their hatred or anger is valid, however they also don't go around saying that maybe he deserves to continue to go through pain or abuse, or at the very least they also recognize that dream is much much worse.

so... the discourse stems from this, and talk of stuff like this has simply brought up other things in a sort of similar talking vein, that there's been discourse about before.

things like how almost every character on the dream smp, who was on it at the time, showed up to the final disc confrontation. they saw dream with his axe poised to kill tubbo. they were seconds away from walking in on a murder scene. they also saw the bunker. they saw his plan to steal everyone's most valuable pets and loved ones. even a cage to put skeppy in.

they see all this, they hear dream is the one to have sam make the prison, and once he's weak they nearly all agree to put him into it.

not only that, they saw him bomb a country down to bedrock. they saw that, even in prison, he murdered tommy, they mourned the kid! would talk about how fucked up he is. but then tommy came back and....

the only things they can say when new people enter the server and ask "why is dream in prison?" "he did some bad things."

the only characters really exempt from this are eret, sapnap, and captain puffy.

whatever the reason for this is, leads to all the stuff stated above, where for some reason tommy has become this scategoat for everyones problems, even things caused by characters like dream, and it gets so bad as some characters saying maybe he needs to have his trauma used against him so he 'learns something this time', when its been proven that never works. all it does is make him panic and lash out.

the only times c!tommy has ever learned anything, is when he's talked to. when someone explains why he cant do something. if someone kindly asks him to give something back, or says they're upset about something he's destroyed, and just... talks to him like you would any human being, he feels bad. he's apologized. he usually tries to make it right if he's able.

and that is consistent in happening yet.... for some reason its just easier for characters to go "i hate that guy" without any rhyme or reasoning, and for new characters to look at people like c!dream, a murderer and abuser known by many, be told he's just 'kinda bad' and go 'well maybe he's misunderstood', and very rarely be told different.

there's a lot of different reasons people are upset over this, yknow.

anyway, sorry anon for getting to this a bit late!

'

[flufffysocks]

thinking about how fatws just does a brilliant job at making you love sam as captain america.

i mean, there’s been debates and discourse about sam vs bucky getting the shield ever since endgame came out, and sooo many people weren’t totally convinced about it being given to sam (myself included - as someone who doesn’t read the comics, i felt like i just didn’t know enough about him as a character and i wasn’t as attached). and when falcon and the winter soldier was announced, we all sort of anticipated that it would finally settle that unspoken dispute between sam and bucky. except... it didn’t. because that dispute didn’t exist in universe, just within the fandom.

one of my favorite things about the mcu shows is that it gives the characters time. it provides the perfect medium for more natural character progression and exploration of who they are both with and without their suits. you can see why that was necessary with both wandavision and fatws because they both center around previously relatively unexplored characters who were far from being popular fan favorites, and if marvel was planning on bringing these supporting characters front and center in phase 4, they needed to get the audience on board. but i feel like this was especially important for sam because of the main theme that was explored in the show - that he would be a black captain america, and that was bound to spark controversy. sam is not just trying to convince the people in his world that he is truly captain america, but the people in ours. the underlying purpose of the show is to convince the audience that sam is the cap, our cap, and it does that so, so well.

i think it was really necessary for this to be a show about both sam and bucky not because it was an absolutely inevitable pairing within the universe (though i suppose it can be argued that it was), but because that is precisely the juxtaposition of characters that the audience needed to see to be convinced once and for all to believe in sam. from the characters’ first introductions, this was set up that way. sam is in full battle gear, acting like exactly the superhero he is, while bucky is first introduced in a therapy session. the implications of this are that sam is significantly more mentally prepared for taking on this role, which is something that steve (and the writers) probably took into account in choosing him to pass the shield onto. bucky, on the other hand, is currently dealing with severe ptsd and has only just begun a long journey of recovery.

almost immediately after, we’re introduced to sam’s family and his home town. we’re shown that he has roots and a real reason to fight on behalf of his country. bucky, on the other hand, has no one at this point. he’s lost the only person left from his old life and has a tenuous relationship at best with sam. he’s still figuring out his place in this new world.

you also notice through the difference in their fighting styles how much more suited sam is to taking on the moral weight of being cap. bucky fights very aggressively, diving fists first into any battle, while sam is much more careful, calculated, and creative in his attacks. you can see the way he utilizes all his tools and his surroundings to minimize damage while still keeping the upper hand of the fight. and, of course, there’s the obvious fact that he tries to avoid fights wherever possible (his initial conversation with carleigh that was going SO WELL until walker screwed it up, his efforts to talk down and reason with walker at the beginning of episode 5, him saying “i don’t want to fight you” to carleigh in their final battle).

there’s all these little things of subtext and soft characterization that build up and slowly register in your brain until, and you don’t even realize it when it happens, sam wilson is synonymous with captain america in your mind.

tl;dr: falcon and the winter soldier’s characterization and character development was really well written and sam wilson is absolutely my captain america i love him so much.

[lucidasidera]

Can we talk about guilt? I’ve seen a lot of discourse that suggests that Bucky feeling guilty and atoning is a good thing, it’s him finding autonomy even if he isn’t ultimately responsible. It’s his decision and his feelings and it should be respected, even encouraged.

And that’s true, to a point. The guilt, primarily, signals that Bucky is a good person. Empathetic, trustworthy people experience guilt. But more than that, guilt is a protective emotion when it comes to trauma. It is much more terrifying, for the self, to acknowledge and internalize the lack of control and agency (and therefore the lack of responsibility) that accompanied the traumatic event.

The guilt allows the self to say “I was responsible because I was not powerless” since the greater terror comes from understanding that the trauma happened because of a lack of control, with the obvious implication that that control can again be removed at any time. It is safer to be guilty than to be vulnerable. It is safer to be culpable than to be at the mercy of an unjust universe. This is a very, very common feeling in survivors of rape or child abuse. It is the basis of survivor’s guilt.

Thing is, trauma-related guilt is an adaptive behavior in the short term (because it allows the victim to regain a sense of control) but a maladaptive behavior in the long term, because the level of self-deception involved starts affecting how one views both the world and the very concept of agency. It is, at its heart, an avoidant behavior. Trauma-related guilt eventually worsens PTSD symptoms. If it goes on too long, one starts to believe - sincerely and not as a defense mechanism - in one’s own culpability and therefore doubt one’s own moral worth.

And again, Bucky feeling guilt is legitimate. The audience being made to feel that Bucky ought to feel responsible is the problem. In TFATWS they neatly define Bucky’s trauma as guilt and then have him resolve the guilt with “acts of service,” as Sam says, which means avoiding recovery altogether. Bucky has internalized his shame and moved on, never acknowledging the actual trauma: powerlessness.

I will also come out and say that my BEST-CASE SCENARIO would have been for TFATWS to just ignore Bucky’s trauma recovery entirely and assume that he regained his sense of self-worth, agency, and trust in Wakanda. It could have happened off screen, much like most of his recovery of self between CA:TWS and CA:CW. I also have no problem with Bucky choosing to dedicate his life to being of service to others, that’s healthy and admirable, but not if it’s borne of a misplaced need for atonement because that undermines the foundations of Bucky’s own sense of self.  

(NB. I am not a therapist, just a survivor. The guilt is real.)

[bill-weasley]

no discourse here, but can i address something that’s bugging me?

people on twitter and on tumblr attacking kari skogland and malcolm spellman because they gave interviews on tfatws and their characterization of sam and bucky? 

look, i understand you love a character and you see them a certain way, but that doesn’t erase what’s canon. and right now, spellman and skogland are responsible for that. attacking two talented people in the industry, specially a black head writer and a female director speaks volumes about the racism/sexism in the fandom.

i usually try to shy away from discourse involving character development, because to each their own.

but some of you guys infantilize bucky so much and it’s so demoralizing as a person who suffers from severe ptsd and chronic depression. like, can i ask -- do you want him to be depressed always and live inside his prison of guilt? i understand that you think bucky has no reason to feel guilty, but bucky, the character does. let bucky barnes have his own agency, let bucky barnes make amends, let bucky barnes do things that he chooses to do.

you saying ‘kari is the worst piece of shit ever’ or ‘bucky barnes doesn’t need to make amends at all’ is the most regressive shit i’ve seen today and i’m so tired.

i feel like everyone is. if you don’t like it, create your own narrative. don’t attack kari and malcolm. they gave us more development to bucky barnes than the russos ever did. so please, please show them a smidgen of fucking respect.

[cregla]

/rp I can see the appeal with the "Dreamon" storyline, the one where it has possessed Dream since at least Manberg vs Pogtopia. I really see it. Because Dream, even when he was against Tommy and Wilbur, was still... Dream. Their dynamic is wonderful. Fun and amazing. You can still see it in Exile when Dream is faking a friendship with Tommy in order to manipulate him more - and that's because while they're still acting, CC!Dream is friend with CC!Tommy and THEIR dynamic is wonderful. It automatically translate in us having a good time whenever they're on screen together (well... we didn't have a good time during exile or the prison, but you know what I mean). People want it back. They want Dream to be able to roleplay alongside the other like he did before, and I undertstand it! Dreamon!Dream is the easy way out of it. And I can totally see it in fanfictions and fanworks. In canon, however? It would be so harmful.

A very long post, please follow me.

C!Dream is an abuser. It's a completly different character from what his CC actually is (duh), in a way no other characters are in this SMP. C!Dream is an abuser, a murderer, and someone who did REALLY bad things and still thinks he was right all along. A person like this NEEDS to be punished (and I'm not entering in the "prison" discourse. Regardless of the prison conditions, Dream still deserves to be imprisoned) and the story NEEDS to give him consequences for his actions. People need to know that he's the bad guy and what he did was wrong, regardless of our own appreciation of the character (appreciation, not apologism). And the character especially work because he's a REALISTIC representation of abusers. Sure, he as an axe and potions and there's the whole PVP and Minecraft gaming system to take on, but in the end? Dream is just a guy. When Dream abused Tommy he did it with isolations, gaslighting, threats of death and beatings and actually beating him, lies. It's something any abuser in the real world, even without potions, could do. It's something abusers do.

To say that Dream was "possessed", to give every fault to a "Dreamon", is to erase this. Because it's not a person anymore, it was a demon controlling that person! And demons don't actually exist in real life. It's not Dream's fault anymore, guys! ("But Nate, stories shouldn't only educate people! We can have bad things in our stories if it makes them good!" While that is true, DSMP is a medium followed by very young teen and even children and the CCs themselves said that they had researched about real life abuse to be more accurate possible, therefore it's not the same as, I don't know, a fanfiction or another media that wasn't made with this intent)

And what about Tommy? He already feels guilty for things that are not his fault. Putting a possessed, innocent Dream in prison? That would break him. Knowing his personality he would totally, 100%, believe himself to be at fault because he "had" to realize what was really going on. He would feel so guilty near Dream while it should be the exact opposite. And then what? He couldn't, of course, blame Dream anymore. But he would still be fighting his own PTSD - do you believe he would be able to start a friendship again with Dream? No, no he wouldn't. And both characters and viewers, who are so critical of Tommy for ANYTHING, would give him hell for this, not realizing how PTSD works.

One of my favourite fanfiction in this fandom, if not my favourite one, has Dreamon!Dream. And yet, let me show you a paragraph of one of the last chapter (here is the link to the story, btw.)

Then he shakes his head and Sam asks the question he’s been dying to know since he first saw Dream in his little museum, “is that why you destroyed your family? Why you turned on all of us?”

And suddenly, Dream is laughing that horrible, broken laugh, one of pain and malice. It hurts Sam’s heart and he wonders if he can go back to his mother, if her arms will warm the ice spilling down his neck.

“No, Sam,” Dream says and the voice is harsh, hoarse. “No, that was all me.”

The story explain Dream's motivations. It gives him a backstory and an explanation on why he ended up like this and why he did so many bad things. But it never justifies him. And, above all, specifies that even if Dream may have a "redemption arc", it will be something personal, or connected to his friends. Tommy, Tubbo and all those he has harmed are not forced to accept his apology, whether it is sincere or not.

That's the only way I could see a Dreamon storyline in canon, honestly. Handled with care and never used as a way out of Dream's actions. And even there, we know how most of the viewers are. We know how Dream's apologists are, how everyone's prone to victim blaming in this goddamn fandom. The CCs may handle it PERFECTLY. And yet people would still misuranderstand it. I'm 100% on with Dreamon in fanfiction and fanworks. Even if you're using it to have Season1!Dream back, even if you want to completly excuse Dream like this. But in canon? No thanks no. I dread the day we might discover that's the storyline. Please, no.

[luna-rainbow]

I really can’t get over how they framed buckys ending in tfatws as him being entirely healed from his trauma. He doesn’t need therapy anymore, he’s not displaying noticeable pads symptoms that were highlighted in the show (nightmares, staring, irritability, etc) I just find it so frustrating bc it’s just the cherry on top of a horrible representation of trauma & therapy. I know that they probably wanted a happy & hopeful but I feel like they could have done this by showing him still going to therapy with a different therapist who he likes & is working well with & coping a bit better with his ptsd symptoms rather than having those symptoms disappear entirely. Buckys trauma is something he’d likely have to live with in some capacity for the rest of his life & it sucks the way they’ve handled it

Thanks for the ask!

I’m guessing this might be brought up in response to the latest discourse on “why can’t you be happy that Bucky is happy”? I haven’t had a chance to dig that one up yet (also I think lots of Bucky fans already said fantastic things so I don’t have much to add).

What’s interesting to me is that the creative team said the ending scenes were shot at the very start of the shooting. I have a lot of confidence in Sebastian’s interpretation of Bucky, so I think Sebastian genuinely, at one point, believed Bucky earned his happiness.

And I think that’s the key here that that particular poster missed, earned. A well-written story earns its emotional beats, and not just bludgeon you over the head with “BUCKY’S HAPPY NOW SEE HE’S SMILING DON’T YOU GET IT”. The thing is, we believe in Bucky’s pain and sadness because he’s earned that - we’ve seen the torture he went through, we’ve seen what he’s lost, we’ve seen Sebastian bring to life his despair. We want him to earn his happiness too, because then it’s not something flimsy that can just be torn apart by the next bad writer. Look at him smiling at Steve in Infinity War! Was he not looking happy? He was, but they took all that apart so easily in episode 1 of TFATWS because he didn’t earn it.

And there were a lot of beats that weren’t earned. His and Sam’s friendship - as recent as right before the boat scene, they were still snappy and surly with each other. The idea that you could patch up a relationship with an expensive gift and imposing on their family…cheapens what their friendship was about.

That said, I want to believe that off screen, Sam has linked Bucky in with a good psychologist, he’s still going to therapy, he’s dropped the amends BS because he realised it was retraumatising him and the victims, he’s in a better place because he’s got a found family and people who treat him like a human. But that’s just head canon, because you’re right, he didn’t get any of that. He just magically got happy, just like Rhodes with a severe spinal cord injury magically got walking. It minimises disability into something that just magically goes away if you’re “good enough” or “try hard enough” and that’s where I take issue.

[darkacademicfrom2021]

The Dark Team (part 15)

<<Previous part Masterlist   Next part>>

Spotify playlist of the whole series.

(Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87, @the-departed-potato, @jesuswasnotawhiteman, @idontknow296, @beksib, @spythoschei, @geekwritersworld, @whatafuckingdumbass, @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 @toe-vind-ek-jou @joscelyn02, @t00-pi, @irwxnhugsx, @selfship-mishaps)

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, ptsd, anxiety.

N/A: In here there's a specific kind of physical comfort I'm okay with, and I'm aware not many people might actually like to be comforted this way. For that, I apologize, but I really wanted to spill some of me in here lmao.

Bucky’s arms surrounded your whole body, like a huge teddy bear; comforting. Letting you know you were safe, you were in the compound. Nobody could hurt you there. Not anymore. You didn’t care you were covered in just a towel, you didn’t care everyone was in there, you didn’t care your hair was dripping wet over the common room’s couch (the one that you bought yourself and you always insisted nobody could drink on it), and you certainly didn’t care you haven’t said a word every since they landed the quinjet with you on it. You only indicated to the medics where you were hurt. Nothing else.

Not a word escaped your throat, more than a dry sob in the shower, once you were finally on your own. And then you were surrounded by concerned people, again. Not the kind of comfort you liked, though. Not like a birthday kind of surrounding; more like a we-thought-you-were-dead-and-now-you’re-here, or a we’re-so-sorry-we-let-this-happen-AGAIN. And no birthday cake.

Loki observed you with his arms crossed. He had apologized twice already, but his lips were still paler than usual. So he really cares, you thought. But your mind was still too clouded with residual fear to even think about him. No shower could clean up your wounds. Your chest tightened and you almost broke in tears again, but Bucky’s arms held stronger around you, squeezing your uncomfort away. Being his best friend for so many years prepared him enough to know exactly how to hold you in the worse.

“I shouldn’t have let you go”, whispers Loki, looking at the floor. He muttered it almost to himself.

You remembered him grabbing your arm and repeating “I’m not letting you go” on the verge of tears, and your throat tightened. He has saved your life before and now he blames himself for not getting there in time, as if it was his job to keep you safe. It definitely wasn’t, though. He showed that he cared so many times, and you were clueless of why. Why would he? You treated him like a punching bag and he welcomed the hits, without knowing why. If you were anything, you were guilty.

It was to be expected. Guilt. You shouldn’t, you knew. You were told you’d feel this way by the medics as they brought you back.

“It wasn’t your fault. It was my idiocy”, you whispered back. But no matter how tiny you shrunk your voice, the compound (silent as a church) and everyone on it was reduced to that same room in there with you, paying attention. You were the spotlight when you wanted to be alone the most. You hid in Bucky’s chest and he covered your head with his chin, knowing how uncomfortable you were. He caressed your back with an open hand, careful as to not touch your injuries.

“This is nobody’s fault, other than Hydra’s, alright?”, said Steve, patting Tony’s back. Tony was marauding with his head low, muttering things about security devices.

“I have installed security against kidnappings ever since my own deal with it. All kinds of systems. How, how the fuck did they manage to fuck this up this badly?”, he finally said. “If it’s anyone’s fault…”.

“It’s certainly not yours, Stark”, said Loki, trying to assure him without crossing any lines.

“No”, Tony laughed sarcastically, “I was gonna say, it’s definitely yours”.

“This is not going to help”, said Bucky, holding you tighter. “If y/n doesn’t feel bad enough… I’m just saying, they doesn’t need you arguing”.

“He’s right. It might be my fault, but if you need to deal with it in any way, now is not the time”, said Loki, defeated. “What is a matter of urgency, actually, is… you know. Hydra”.

“As much as I hate to agree with my brother, he’s right. We need to take you all to a safer place as soon as possible”, added Thor, pointing at the members of The Dark Team.

“Hydra’s nets are not only extent. They’re global, and aggressive. Like cancerous cells in the marrow bone, they are the roots of malice, and they’re going to find you anywhere you go on this planet”, said Clint, not bothering to look up from his phone. He was probably texting his wife to alert her.

You started shaking again.

“Barton, really?”, whispered sharply Bucky.

“He’s right. That’s why you’re not staying on this planet”, snapped Banner, who has been quiet ever since you landed. He assessed your injuries and treated you kinder than any other doctor. You were so glad he was in the rescue quinjet when they picked you up.

“Beg your pardon?”, inquired Loki, cocking an eyebrow. “You mustn't mean…”.

“Yes, Asgard!”, he interrupted him. It was a good idea, though. “Unless you know of a safer place, of course”.

“I… I don’t think it’s a good idea”, Loki looked like he was about to faint. He finally sat on the chair behind him and Thor nodded.

“It’s a terrible idea, I must say”, he agreed once again with his brother.

“Can I ask why?”, Tony was already convinced that if Earth wasn’t safe, other realms could do perfectly fine. And if his certainty was not enough, it was already highly supported by Banner, Clint, Sam, Natasha and Steve. “And if you give me one more of your daddy issues discourse I will literally kick you out of my place”.

“Odin’s not…”, he started.

“I said no daddy issues”, interrupted Tony.

“He’s not my father”, corrected Loki with a patience you’ve never seen on him. “As I was saying, he’s not exactly fond of… humans”.

“He…”, Bruce furrowed his eyebrows, “he what?”.

“No, come on. If you’re giving us a lie at least think of a better one”, snapped Tony.

“Alright. Truly, Odin would not take y/n’s presence very welcome”, he said, and Tony nodded as if he knew what he was talking about. “It’s a personality thing. He didn’t like Dr. Foster either”. You knitted your brows. What was that supposed to mean?

“And because you think your dad wouldn’t like…”, Bruce started arguing, but Loki interrupted him, this time with less patience.

“He is not my father”.

“What about…”, you started saying, and everyone else shut up. You felt ashamed. You were being treated as if you were made out of crystals. You hated it. You tried to raise your voice and toughen up, trying to show you were your normal self. “What about other realms, else than Asgard?”.

Loki sighe, but as soon as he began to think of another place, the ideas crumbled apart. He explained it out loud.

“I’m not welcome in most of them. You know, Odin’s mass killings. In Jotunheim you’d freeze to death after a few hours. I wouldn’t recommend Svartálfheim either, I died there a couple of times. Not a pleasant place to survive either”.

“So Asgard it is”, said Thor, patting Loki’s back. He looked like he was about to stab him in the guts just for implying that.

“Look, Loki. If the King doesn’t like me there, I’ll deal with it”, you said, overly confident.

“What makes you think you’ll deal with Allfather’s disgust, exactly?”.

“I’ll tell you how”, you said, less confident, trying to gain time to think of an answer.

“Do enlighten me”.

“I’m… well, I’m not gonna be there”, you said as if a great idea had just occurred to you. Truth was, it did.

“Yes. That’s the whole issue, pancake”.

“No, no. Hold up, Loki. You can actually shapeshift things”, you suggested, and he raised an eyebrow. “How much of a thing does it have to be, and for how long can you do it?”.

“Did you just call them pancake?”, asked Banner in awe.

“You’re not suggesting…?”, continued Loki with your idea, ignoring Banner.

“Oh, yes. It’s perfect. Tell me you can do it and it’s done. It’s perfect”, you said. You started repeating yourself. Everyone looked at you as if you needed to still convince them of it. “It’s perfect”.

“It is one issue less, that’s for sure”, Sam added. Tony nodded, and everyone else followed. “Can you shapeshift living beings for extended periods of time?”.

“I’m shapeshifting myself right now, in fact. Have been ever since I was born, without even knowing”, he admitted, kind of embarrassed. “But I’m not sure Odin wouldn’t be able to read through it. At least I know my mother would”.

“Oh, she once recognized I was from the future”, added Thor, a reminiscent smile brightening his face. “I didn’t even have to say anything”.

“My point stands”, finished Loki.

“I think it’s worth the try. If he realizes, then I’m leaving and we’re back here thinking of a new plan. Come on, you can’t say it’s not the best option”.

“It’s a terrible one”, he pointed.

“It’s the only one”.

“Fine”, he sighed, resigned.

“Fine”, you tried to finish, but he continued.

“Alright”.

“Okay”.

“Fine”.

“You guys done?”, cut Bucky. Both Loki and you sighed at the same time. “We’re going to Asgard, then”.

[fandom-hoarder]

Having some feelings about John discourse but too groggy to type it out well. So don't want to add it to someone else's post and cause upset.

Basically yes John made bad choices that can/should be categorized as abusive, but he's not a mean/hateful dad. He did love his sons and even his ultimatum to Sam was done out of LOVE.

It's probably hard to see for some people who are younger or whose parents never worked through their issues/they never worked through theirs. My mom had ptsd her whole life but we didn't realize it, so it got worse and worse from additional trauma and she didn't get help until we were all grown. She is who I project onto John a lot because I see a lot of similar actions from similar motivators, but also a similar depth of love.

John wanted to protect his sons so much--Sam especially after Mary died for him--but in practice that protection came to traumatize them. It shaped them both in different ways, but they are both traumatized. I, too, was traumatized by my childhood and have some weird traits and coping methods from it, but I don't hate my mom OR think of her AS an abuser. (But in my teens and young 20s? Oooh buddy) Instead, I categorize her actions as abusive. Yes, there is a distinction. (people can have bad behaviors while still being good people, and labeling the behavior rather than the person is important)

Anyway, John's ultimatum was out of love. It was also out of fear. He was scared about Sam being out there alone where he and Dean couldn't protect him. Yes, he probably wasn't thinking about Sam's feelings or personhood or autonomy in that moment; John needed control in every situation because of the things he'd been through up to that point, and this can give people blinders/tunnel vision--like being unable to see that your child is grown and has their own desires, not just the "family goal".

They're in a situation where nothing is permanent except their attachment to each other. Sometimes he's off on his own, but the existence of his children where he knows they are is like thinking about your goddamn limbs or fucking organs. They're a unit, and until the horror of their life is resolved, they'll stay a unit because that's how to protect them. It can even become difficult to see how time just keeps passing and your coping mechanisms are getting worse and worse.

I'm not excusing John's actions. His flaws and influences are compelling. He definitely fucked up his kids. He's fucking human and that's great and awful. I just think John deserves more understanding for the reasoning behind his actions.

AND!! This is also why I can believe the John/Sam interaction in Lebanon. Sam has grown and gone through so many things since back then! It's not just the time and distance making those memories fade (although that happens); he has more understanding of John's perspective now. He knows even John's bad decisions and harsh words were coming from a place where he was so scared of losing the rest of his family because he loved them so much!

[janiedean]

What are your thoughts on John Walker? I like him as a character and I think most of the discourse around him is because the fandom immediately assumed he was a horrible bigot and are annoyed that he has depth and a character arc.

I think I’m one of the 15 ppl in tfawts fandom who doesn’t hate him but:

I thought he was very well-written for that trope

actually I was extremely surprised by how he wasn’t a straightup villain

I thought the background was done really well bc like... the fact that he was that starved to be cap/went off the rails when they took it from him being based on the fact that he was basically groomed into the idea by the system AND they made it a reward for iraq service that he got untrated ptsd/trauma for was like honestly way better than I had ever presumed a disney show would do

I really liked the second to last ep where he went off at the trial ppl telling them they made him bc while it was a bit too spelled out for my tastes CONSIDERING THAT IT WAS A DISNEY SHOW I WAS LIKE WOW ARE THEY SRSLY CRITICIZING THE ARMY RECRUITMENT SYSTEM WOW

I liked that he did have a depth and char arc and that they grounded it in realistic/believable background

I also liked that at the end of it he’s also a victim of the system just in a completely different way and he doesn’t quite manage to get out of it but you still can see he’s not doing what he’s doing just out of being an arse

tldr: I appreciated how they wrote him as someone who has had an interest for years in that kinda angle, then ofc i have other priorities in that show ie sam and bucky but I really did appreciate how they wrote him and I’m not going near fandom discourse ever bc honestly I saw enough of how ppl don’t get that narrative with punisher fandom and idc to discuss it lkjgljds

[theythemsam]

tasteslikemolecules replied to your post “The fact that theres people in this fandom that claim Sam (or Dean for...”

I got so much of that crap after my post about Sam's PTSD

asdfg it actually was your post that I found The Person on and I thought “ufff sucky, but probably an old comment, now to block them bc I know I talk about those topics a lot and I don’t want someone like that interacting with my stuff” and they have a relatively (unless they aren’t active anymore, I’ve just seen it on mobile) recent post ranting about that topic again, which was... Wild.

I do also love being told that “being a traumatized person who has hyper vigilance and startles easily and maybe sees similar symptoms in Sam and thus interprets him that way is just living out a medical kink”, like as a concept. That is a wild combination of words right there.