#ptsd or whatever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#comic art#original character#original comic#original art#art#my art#doodle#traditional art#doodles#cat#pant#oc#struggle#vent art#idk#ptsd or whatever
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk man. ptsd really has a way of convincing you over and over again that you’re unsafe and that everything will be unsafe forever. it’s a series of cracks in your foundations of what safety even feels like. I don’t know if those cracks ever go away. but I am slowly trying to fill them in with warm + colourful experiences until I can almost feel stable again. and maybe that’s what this — recovering life — is all about
567 notes
·
View notes
Text
(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 4)
—
Tw: descriptions of body horror, Dr. Crane has PTSD and Does Not Realize, Crane has an actual panic attack and just doesn’t care, the Riddler makes one (1) sex joke about Batman
Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually
(Pt. 1 here) (Prev here) - (Pt. 5 here)
(Masterlist here)
—
Dr. Jonathan Crane is in his lab, the acrid scent of chemicals filling the air, and his hands are shaking.
Danny’s health, for the first week that he had him, had been steadily improving at an extremely quick rate. However, his healing had begun to stagnate. Danny said that it was because his body had run out of ectoplasm, and that while there was a lot of ambient ectoplasm in Gotham, he needed a stronger type in order to heal.
And so, that led Dr. Crane here.
He had stolen the research notes from the Penguin years ago regarding his experimentation on him.
(He quite vividly remembers the sound of bone creaking and groaning as it twisted, lengthened. The squelching of shifting tendons and muscles, the strange fabric-like tightening of skin. The feeling of going from man to monster, of losing all claim to his humanity.)
Danny had called him Liminal, part ghost. He had said that he was transformed by, among other things, a kind of synthetic ectoplasm.
Danny needed ectoplasm.
Crane had the research notes. He had every ingredient necessary. And yet, attempt after attempt failed.
The chemical smell burns his nose. His hands tremble.
Dr. Crane is not afraid.
He doesn’t feel fear anymore. He’s tried to, many, many times, but nothing has worked. And yet, his hands are shaking still.
(The horrifying sensation of vertebrae pop-pop-popping along his spine, growing and lengthening. The unbearable itching beneath his skin as toxin glands begin to form. The feeling of his teeth sharpening and elongating, of his skull growing, of his vision changing and brightening. The awful stench of chemicals. The awful stench of ectoplasm.)
Jonathan takes careful note of his shaking hands, his blurring vision, his accelerated heart-rate and shallow breathing.
(Human hands. Human vision. Human heart and lungs and organs.)
He takes note of them, but he does not let that distract him from the task at hand. Danny is not a chemist, but Jonathan is.
The boy knows enough about chemistry in theory, but he won’t go anywhere near Crane’s equipment. He seems to have some sort of intense fear of laboratory settings, probably developed during his stay with the GiW, and Crane is willing to respect that, if only because he cannot afford to lose him.
As such, Crane is the only one qualified to do this. And, unfortunately, if he isn’t successful the boy may very well die.
He heats the chemicals to precisely the right temperatures, adding each one to its correct container.
Dr. Crane thinks of the Scarebeast, that creature born of cruelty and greed and a sense of superiority. That creature which he tries to ignore is a part of him, that can never be removed. A damage which cannot be undone.
He pours the contents of a small beaker into a larger flask, watching the liquids swirl together. The stench in the air is becoming closer and closer to the one burned into his memory.
Crane’s whole body is wracked with unpleasant sensations. It’s truly unfortunate, he thinks, that despite his mind’s lack of fear, his body still reacts so harshly.
Jonathan’s eyes wander, eventually settling on a purple and green card sitting innocently on the corner of the table.
Right.
Even if they wiped out the GiW tomorrow, and even if Danny could survive without ectoplasm, he would still be in danger.
Crane has to get him back to good health. It’s the only way he can be sure that the boy can defend himself properly.
The solution in the flask begins to foam, and Jonathan does not hesitate as he adds the final ingredient. He pours the mixture into a new container, capping it and placing it into a freezer set to -40 degrees.
Hopefully this time he got the timing right.
Jonathan tries to relax, the ventilation in the room slowly but surely clearing the familiar smell from the air.
He thinks of the letter.
Surely, he thinks, that man can come up with some better material for his jokes. Or, at least something new.
Same old threats, same old attempted poisoning.
Aiming his threats at Danny, though, that was new. New and utterly unacceptable.
Scarecrow did what he had to.
He doubted that his solution would last forever, of course, as with that man it never did. As such, he would prepare both himself and Danny for the inevitable moment that his choices came back to bite them.
However, for the moment, they were safe. Danny could rest and recover, and Jonathan could figure out a plan to minimize possible damages.
Jonathan is no longer shaking.
He’s exhausted. This is his fifth attempt today, and each one leaves an unfortunate strain on his mind and body.
With a sigh, he settles himself into his seat at a nearby desk, opening up his computer and logging his most recent attempt. He still has to wait for it to chill to know if it was successful, but he can always update the logs later.
Once he’s done, he stretches, joints popping loudly as he walks to the freezer.
When he sees the results of his tireless work, the ghost of a smile flits across his face.
Success.
Jonathan picks up the jug of ectoplasm and leaves the lab, which is in all actuality the basement of the new apartment that he moved himself and Danny into after receiving the note. The scrappy old woman who was his landlord had told him that as long as he paid her five hundred dollars up front, she would let him set up in the basement without any questions or cop calls.
And so, the most expensive apartment in the Narrows was his.
At least, he thought, the distance between the basement and the apartment was short enough that Danny didn’t have to sit in while he was doing his labwork.
Jonathan knew that he didn’t exactly have a strong grasp on the concept of ‘lab safety,’ proven by his built-up immunity to almost every toxic chemical he’d ever encountered, and he doubted that Danny should be around such an environment.
He was back to the apartment quickly, not bothering to hide the self-satisfied smile on his face. Danny is sitting in his armchair, trying to read one of his books. Danny looks up, ready to greet him, when he sees the jug in his hands and pauses.
“Is that..?”
“Synthetic ectoplasm,” Jonathan says proudly, “I found the Penguin’s research notes and decided to recreate it, since you said that you needed it to heal properly. I’m not sure if it’ll work the same as what you usually have, but I hope it’s helpful all the same.”
Danny is standing, now, and looking at Jonathan with a strange look in his eyes. He looks, Jon thinks, like he’s about to cry.
Then Danny is rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Jonathan, his scrawny form shaking.
Jonathan is, for a moment, horrified. Did he do something wrong somehow? Why is this child, who’s so afraid of touch, hugging him?
And then he hears Danny’s voice, and he knows that it was all worth it.
“Thank you,” he’s mumbling, over and over, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.”
“Of course,” Jonathan says softly, because what else can he say?
The boy cries in his arms for a while, and Jonathan briefly wonders what his life must have been like before, if a person like him can be seen as a comforting figure.
Then, Danny pours himself a small glass of the synthetic ectoplasm, putting the rest into the small fridge which had come with the apartment, and he settles back down, sitting in the armchair once again.
Jonathan sits opposite of him, and they chat with one another as Danny drinks.
Danny talks to him about the stars and tells him about different spaceships, and Jonathan makes sure to pay attention and ask the boy questions.
He doesn’t miss the way that Danny lights up every time he asks him something about his interests. He’s so passionate, so smart, a trait that he seldom sees outside of his fellow rogues, and Jonathan wants to encourage that.
It’s…nice. Peaceful, almost.
And then the front door flies open, because Jonathan isn’t allowed to have nice things.
“Jon,” a familiar voice rings out, “what the hell?!”
Danny is frozen in place, clearly terrified.
Jonathan heaves a sigh, turning to face the nuisance who’s entered his apartment.
“Eddie,” he drawls, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Edward’s face is red with anger as he invades Jonathan’s apartment.
“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that you sent a bunch of rogues a cryptic message and then dropped off the face of the earth for two weeks! I was worried, Jon!”
Jonathan hums in acknowledgement.
“I didn’t think it was that cryptic,” he says, picking up a book in order to pointedly ignore the Riddler.
“Oh, of course you didn’t, you straw-stuffed hickory dickory dickhead. I swear, you’re always—” he pauses, finally having noticed Danny sitting opposite of Jonathan, “—who is this?”
“My apprentice,” Jonathan replies, dreading the upcoming headache he was no doubt going to develop from Edward’s company, “he’s helping me hunt down the GiW. His name is Danny.”
Edward gasps dramatically.
“You—an apprentice?! And you’re letting him sit in the old man chair?! You don’t even let me sit in the old man chair,” he wails, draping himself over the headrest of the couch with a flourish, “Jonathan, I thought I knew you!”
“Edward,” Jonathan says, “get out of my apartment.”
“Oh my goodness, this is incredible. You’re becoming the bat!”
“I am not becoming the bat, Eddie, now get out.”
Edward has a shit-eating grin on his face as he waltzes over to Danny. Danny, who seemed terrified when he first appeared, is now looking at him with obvious amusement written all over his face.
“I mean, look at him! The hair, the eyes, the scrappy build. If you put him in one of those traffic light vigilante costumes, he could easily pass as a Robin!”
“I’m not doing this with you today, Eddie.”
“Riddle me this, Jon: I am a treasure hidden inside of a chest. You can break me, or steal me, or give me a rest. I can flutter, or pound, or attack, or drop, but if you don’t have me, you’re certainly fucked. What am I?”
Jonathan pauses for a moment before he groans, dropping his head into his hands.
“Eddie.”
Danny sits still, a confused look on his face as he repeats the riddle silently. Then, his face lights up in delight.
“A heart!”
“Jon, I like this one,” Edward says with a smile, ruffling Danny’s hair, “you are correct! A heart, something that I wasn’t aware that our dear Jonathan had!”
“Eddie, stop.”
“No, no,” Edward says, “I was worried about you, you deserve this. I mean, you even missed girls night! You never miss girls night!”
“Girls night?” Danny asks, absolutely delighted.
“Oh, of course,” Edward says, sprawling over on the couch, dangerously close to just laying in Jonathan’s lap, “we have it once a week. I’m invited because of Selina and Jon’s invited because Harley likes him.”
“And what does girls night entail, exactly?”
“Eddie,” Jonathan groans, “please.”
“Well,” Edward hums, “we usually paint our nails, or watch a movie, or gossip about the other rogues, and occasionally, we tell each other about any ‘encounters’ we have with Batman,” he says, raising his eyebrows up and down.
Danny’s jaw drops.
“Edward, shut up,” Jonathan says, an irritated tone in his voice that wasn’t there before.
“No way,” Danny says, “I thought that Batman, like, hated you guys or something. You mean he actually..?”
“Oh, the Bat is much like a bottle of liquor or a cheap cigarette, in that he was made to be passed around.”
Danny chokes on air.
“Edward Nygma,” Jonathan hisses, getting out of his seat and looming over the man, “get the hell out.”
Edward pales.
“Leaving, leaving!” Edward says, dashing away from Jonathan. He pauses, turning to flash Danny a quick smile.
“Remember Danny, I’m your favorite uncle! Not any of the other rogues, me!”
With that, he leaves, the room falling completely silent.
And, as per usual, that silence does not last.
“You full-named him?” Danny asks gleefully, “and it worked?”
Jonathan just sighs, sitting down on the couch and rubbing at his temples.
“Please, don’t take anything Eddie says seriously. He’s a moron.”
“Dr. Crane, please let me come to girls night with you,” Danny pleads, his eyes sparkling, “I promise I won’t embarrass you.”
Jonathan groans.
“Of course you won’t, Eddie will do it for you.”
“Come on, please?”
“I think we’re a bit busy with the GiW at the moment,” Jonathan snaps. He pauses as he notices the crestfallen expression on Danny’s face.
This boy is going to be the death of him.
“Perhaps, though, when all that is taken care of…”
Danny cheers, grinning wildly, and Jonathan is not at all relieved to see him happy again. Certainly not.
The rest of the day is relatively normal.
Danny works on trying to get information from the GiW database while Crane refines his his fear toxin, both preparing for a raid on the GiW base they located in Gotham.
It was only a temporary base, nothing of note, but there was a chance of discovering more bases through it, and that wasn’t something either of them were willing to give up.
Still, something like this would take time. Rushing would only lead to failure.
…
Late in the night, long after Danny is fast asleep in his room, Jonathan pauses.
The GiW are not the only threat out there. They aren’t the only threat to him or to Danny. Perhaps it could be helpful to reach out to someone with greater resources than himself.
He sends a quick message to Red Hood.
Hopefully, he thinks, everything will go smoothly.
—
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp fic#liminal scarecrow#Jon’s PTSD is triggered by the smell of ectoplasm because his life is a nightmare#HDJFNDNDNFKDJF#I am the master of emotional whiplash#rip Jon just trying to have some peace in this fucking house#never gonna happen king 🫡#oh also Eddie is not lying that bat can manwhore#and like half the rogues in Gotham know this from experience#and also most of the JL#and some of JL dark#btw Eddie and Jon are besties#they’re both awful but they make it work#when Jon full-names Eddie that just means that if he doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing he’s gonna get a dose of fear toxin#Eddie isn’t intimidating enough to full-name anyone so if he gets mad he just bashes whoever in the head with his cane#Jon is the living embodiment of ‘me and my girl don’t argue she bash me in the head with a rock and I walk it off like a man’#also side note I’m not doing any ships in this#because I don’t want to#they are just Like That#if you wanna read it that way though it’s completely fine#also shoutout 2 that one scriddler fic on ao3 that helped inspire that riddle LMAO
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Is that the same as a level up?
#sure. level up. ptsd. embracing the horrors. whatever u wanna call it.#jinwoo: okay but ill just run behind the car i gotta get my steps in#eren: i dont even need to leave the car to get my steps in#yuta: is that supposed to be a flex? or are u just embracing the horrors again#eren: both.#kaneki: u guys are driving me crazy i need a coffee#eren: then u better start driving#get in loser#were getting runway ready#anime#anime memes#tokyo ghoul#kaneki ken#ken kaneki#shironeki#eren yeager#eren jeager#aot#attack on titan#aot final season#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk memes#yuta okkotsu#okkotsu yuta#solo leveling#sung jin woo#sung jinwoo#solo lev
258 notes
·
View notes
Text
talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
#bkdk#bakudeku#it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in#i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years#i tried to say it like “oh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaks”#but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about#not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast#it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good#and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks#i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this#like we are not consuming the same thing#i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be#i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about#i like mha an annoying amount#i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene#i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good#it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it#hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you
346 notes
·
View notes
Text
if my body keeps score, will she remember when i grab another blanket to keep her warm? will she remember when i use mobility aids to make things easier for her? will she remember when i put down the blade and take a shower instead? does she recall the days i rest, when i watch our favorite shows and settle in to treat her with all the kindness i'm trying to convince myself we deserve? does she remember the love? does she recall the kindness? does she remember when i run my hands across our wounds and apologize? does she keep score of our healing?
#trauma recovery#tw self harm#sh mention#living with ptsd#punkstyle#disability#physical disability#cpunk#madpunk#actually disabled#ok to reblog#wrote this real quick so like#bear with me#but it got stuck in my head and#fjdaklhfjksalfdkja whatever#here you go#hope this like#does something for someone
845 notes
·
View notes
Text
Autistic girls sound off jn the comments
#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#the hunger games#hunger games#thg#pencil sketch#turns out scanning shit makes it look good. who woulda thunk#anyway does this shit piss anyone else off when ppl point it out like#no im not looking you directly in the eye. whatevers in there is none of my business. we are not married.#and inb4 someone says smth abt adhd and autism solidarity. katniss has BOTH peeta has NEITHER#and im going to need compelling textual evidence to believe otherwise.#peetas just got depression and anger issues#anyone else you want me to diagnose?? guess who has bpd. ill give you a hint. its also katniss#they both have ptsd obv that goes w/o saying but ill say it just so no one comes for me
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
What half of Tumblr says about Dexter
#now i wouldnt say it isnt austism#i dont know a lick about austism#but id say its gotta be like#the PTSD is doing alot of the heavylifting for him being the way that he is#but idk a photo of dexter and brian with flaming words AUSTISM BROTHERS is pretty dang cool#fr though that mf shouldve taken Dexter to like#see something or someone#i know it was the 80s/90s or whatever but like#not even thinking about it???#Dexter morgan#maybe he just needed a hobby
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little Yamato: I'm Oden!
Kaido: nope, you're the ogre princess
Little Yamato: I said I was Oden, that means I'm a boy!
Kaido: Okay but you're still not Oden, you're the ogre prince
#one piece#Yamato#Kaido#trans yamato#Hes oden i swear#I love how kaido respects that yamato is trans but not that he wants to be oden#Like yeah you can be whatever#But not oden bcs he gave me ptsd#Kaido being an ally
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate when therapists get suspicious when you're well educated on mental health and/or are self aware. sir i live here. of course i'm going to be able to articulate myself well about my mental illness. that does not mean im making it up.
#oh well. my therapist is this no nonsense older guy#he's nice and surprisingly validating and even confirmed i have ptsd#but like he just says shit sometimes and im like hm you are a short term 'depression and anxiety' therapist#not a therapist for whatever the fuck i got going on#like he plans to end treatment in june and i'm like sir i'm probably going to be in therapy on and off for my entire adult life#but oh well i don't have the energy to look for a new one and he helps a#bit so we're sticking with him
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay DBD fandom. Bear with me, this is stupid as hell, but I’m laughing uncontrollably on the floor of my room and I have to share.
For context, there was this show I used to watch: Galavant. It only ran for like two seasons back in 2015, but it was awesome. It was like this fantasy/comedy/musical type thing. I was recently reminded of its existence when I randomly heard one of the songs.
It was a song that they did in the show sang by this evil witch. When the main character meets her, you find out she owns this tavern, and it’s full of all these muscly dudes, so you’re like “oh he’s about to get the shit beaten out of him.” Long story short, no. The witch owns a gay bar, and instead of beating him up, they proceed to do a musical number titled “Off with His Shirt.”
I don’t even know if I have to elaborate more on this, but I’m cracking up at Charles and Edwin meeting Desire and it being exactly like this.
#ignore the fact that edwin would have a mental breakdown#for the sake of the joke#i’m going to pretend he would simply feel scandalized#instead of the likely scenario of it giving him ptsd#ALSO#again for the sake of the joke#ignore the fact that they’re like#kind of minors?#but we’re already kind of ignoring that?#as a fandom#especially with catwin#ages are weird there but who cares i guess#also i like to think that in the future#edwin grow increasingly more confident in his sexuality#and even his own body in that sense#now i’m rambling sorry#this entire post feels a little embarrassing#whatever tho#i’m not on this app to be cool lol#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dbda#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#Spotify
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw the Dark Beginnings short.
What if I just...
ALSLLDKDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDHFSKKSKDKDD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#I FEEL SICK BUT LIKE IN. AGOOD WAY#I GUESS#THEY ARE GIVING HIM FULL AND VIVID PTSD GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL#THAT NIGHTMARE OH MY GOODNESS#AND HIS FREAKING BLASTING THE TREE OR WHATEVER WHEN HE WOKE UP OH MY WORD#THEY ANIMATED HIM PANTING IN PANIC ALALLDKDKDKDKDKDK#DYING DYING DYING#ALLSKDKSKSKDKSKDKDKDKDJD#shadow the hedgehog#shadow dark beginnings#sonic x shadow generations#sth#sonic#sonic posting
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
but for real frenrey with ptsd gordon... are you kidding. what a fucking fantasy to not only be faced with someone whos a trigger and be able to deal with it but also Love them. it makes me so emotional i could puke
#barking#hlvrai#frenrey#op has ptsd if you come at me for this being bad rep or whatever im tossing you in the volcano
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
hiiii offering $35 flat busts [ or a fullbody <- (carrd ], i need help with bills and groceries / basic necessities 😂 dm if interested
my ptsd and dissociation has been really debilitating for months now + i have overdue owed art on top; if you like my art you can throw tips at me as well
kofi - paypal - cashapp
#poc artist#commissions open#comms open#idk if tumblr kills post if i don't censor dono links but whatever#do not like pulling my ptsd card but its really been getting bad again and im trying not to speedrun a psych ward visit
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Y'know, I don't think I rreeaalllyy count as disabled," I say as I take over 5 pills a day just to function
#disability#disabled#disabilties#chronic pain#adhd#actually autistic#hypermobility#mood disorder#and whatever the fuck else i might have ig#complex ptsd#ptsd#anxitey#actually ocd#remembered a few more
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
sherlock posting in 2024 but thinkin abt how diabolical it is w jim saying “u can have me arrested. u can torture me. u can do anything u like to me. but nothing’s going to prevent them from pulling the trigger” literally to the brother of the Government Agent who just recently tortured him for weeks
#so much of this is coming from pasiphile tvd chapter 11 jim but thinkin abt the unreliable narration n how focused it is on Sherlocks#Narrative & i feel like u breeze past like. mycroft literally Torturing jim as an agent of the state#and like. how Volatile and Manic jim is especially on the roof & how far gone / self destructive obsessed he#is with sherlock that like#u can do whatever u like to me. this is all there is anymore#and the disappointment of him not living up to that. this is too EASY#this is all there is left in my life. and i’m destructing. and i don’t even have u because i’ve Beaten u#and ur not even like me#taggin this w a cw to be on the safe side bc i’m dancin around jim’s suicidality but#suicide cw#rattling against the bars of my enclosure. ptsd hyperfixed self destructive jim#anyway this all came about because i watched a 2 second clip of him screaming doofus into sherlocks face and i nearly started crying#do u ever wish u could be like. hyperfixed on smth useful and not like. bbc sherlock 12 years later#jim moriarty#mormor#bbc sherlock#and AGAIN the unreliable narration of mycrofts ‘it didn’t work he just stared into the abyss’ vs like. jim’s mania in reichenbach#this also makes him in the straitjacket in sherlocks mindpalace DIABOLICAL
44 notes
·
View notes