#psuedocyesis | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mistresskayla-blog1 · 5 months ago

Text

Whirlwind Awareness

**trigger warning for those who have been pregnant**

Characters: Gary Fuller x Allison Stone (Fuller)

Lyn's Writing Event 2024 - Week 4 - Day 25

May 25th: Week 4: Tornado

Characters: Gary Fuller x Allison Stone (Fuller)

*** Trigger warning for those who have been pregnant ***

*** Suicidal shock – please if you are easily triggered by this human experience, do not read***

Fandom: Richard Armitage/Sarah Wayne Callies – Into the Storm (AU continuation of ship)

The characters of Gary Fuller and Allison Stone were created by Steven Quale & John Swetnam

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Tornados, trauma, geriatric (over 35) pregnancy, pseudocyesis, presumed miscarriage, anxiety, depression, rescue, suicidal tendencies.

Ally smiled as she felt a heartbeat in her abdomen and rubbed her belly through her soft cotton shirt. She prayed for a smooth transition into motherhood again. Grace was her miracle already, what would this new child bring into her life. Gary doted on her when she told him. Since the boys were off to college now, starting a new family, felt like a natural step forward for their relationship. It was Spring now, and storms were starting to come fast and often. Gary had told her not to go “chasing” once she hit the third trimester and she had agreed it would be unsafe. But right now, she was 12 weeks in and feeling fine.

Several storms were reported near home and she took the rig and her assistant and headed out. She was a little nauseous but was used to it by now. And often the excitement of the chase made her stomach a little nervous. When they headed out, her back started to hurt, but she didn’t think anything of it, these rough roads during flooding were, well, rough by anyone’s standards. She gripped the bar on the inside of the passenger seat of the truck and held on. Daryl apologized for the roads and Ally chuckled.

“Why? You didn’t pour them,” she smirked, and then a wave of nausea hit her, and her abdomen seized in a cramp. Ally let out a gasp and grimaced. Daryl smirked, “Ok, now your just making fun of me.” Laughing.

Ally momentarily paled and sweat broke out on her face and her neck. Ally shuddered visibly, as Daryl slowed down to a spot on the road.

“Ally? You ok?” Daryl asked. Ally looked to him, “Yeah, yeah” her color returning, “That was weird, but I think I am ok.” Daryl looked up and saw the clouds darkening as rain pelted the truck. Ally slowly crawled between the seats to her command center of monitors.

“I’m punching it up now, looks like we got two good ones coming up on our right”, Ally pointed out the window of the truck’s side door. Daryl pitched his head against the windshield looking for a sign of a small cyclone. A nearby siren echoed through the corn fields, that were green, but mostly bare looking, planted only a few weeks before.

“Nothing yet, but its ripe, did you feel that temp drop”, Daryl asked.

Ally nodded, “Yeah, I did”, she gripped her belly again and gritted her teeth. Daryl looked back at her, “Are you sure you are alright, I know Gary told me to,” he trailed off.

Ally looked at him sternly, “How long you known me, I don’t fade easily”,

Daryl sighed, “Yeah but you don’t look too good”, he spun back to face the windshield.

“Noted, thank you”, and she managed a smile. Daryl shouted mumbles excitedly and pointed out the window. Ally looked up at her screen and caught the red zone.

“Gotcha” she said, indicating the cyclone, starting up her tracking software, and filtering the data. The cyclone swirled and captured fencing and some other loose farm equipment, swirling it around inside itself, before dissipating quickly. A tractor crashed to the ground about 200 yards away from them.

Daryl chortled, “Well that was underwhelming,”

Ally giggled, “Yeah, tell that to the tractor”. Another cramp hit her and she missed the next cell indicator. A cyclone emerged right in front of them about 50 yards and Daryl put the truck in reverse and backed up, turning around. Ally held on to the monitors, taking a steady breath.

“I am not doing this again, you want to track them fine, but I need to live today.” Daryl warned.

Ally sat back up in her seat, “Fair. Maybe we should head back to town, the cell is clear there, for now.” Daryl headed back to Silverton. Ally stayed in the rear cabin and pulled out her cell phone, it was 155 pm, so Gary was still at the school.

His voice calmed her nerves, “hey, how are you?” Ally could hear Gary’s smile over the phone.

“I’m ok. We are calling it early I think, there’s some strong cells coming in, and I’m,” she paused,

“Yes, I understand. Can you come see me then?” Gary asked, hopeful. Ally looked at the time, and their general trajectory.

She nodded over the phone, “Yeah, I should be able to,” smiled audibly, “It will be nice to get a”

Ally grabbed her belly and breathed out harshly.

Gary immediately was talking as the phone slid off her cheek, “Babe? What’s wrong, Ally, hun are you ok?”

Ally sucked in a breath, “Yeah. I just, its just cramping.” She responded.

Gary made a face on his end of the line, “Look just get here, I will take care of you. Love you.”

Ally returned a ‘uhuh, love you too’ breathily and hung up the cell.

Daryl looked back in the rearview mirror, “So, am I dropping you at the high school then?”

Ally nodded and gave him a thumbs up. She broke out in another sweat and took a sip of cool water from a bottle nearby. She did her breathing exercises she had remembered, and it calmed her down a bit. Daryl pulled up to the entrance, and Gary was waiting outside for Ally.

Daryl got out and opened the side door, revealing Ally crouched on the floor of the van, lightly clutching her belly. Gary got right to her, “come on, come on”, he picked her up, and carried her into the school entrance, Daryl right at his heels, opening doors. Gary set Ally down on a cushioned chair in the front office. He scanned her with his eyes, and put his hand on her hand on her belly.

“Is it the baby? Is everything alright?” Gary asked.

Ally looked at him, he was crouched in front of her, “I don’t know, I thought we were out of the woods”, smirked sadly. Gary looked firmly at her, “lets go see the doctor then ok?” Ally nodded. And Gary helped her up to her feet. The wave had subsided and she could stand again. Gary’s arm was melting into her back in support and care, she leaned into his side as he walked her out. The administrator waved him off when he looked to say something. Gary smiled at her and kept walking Ally out. Daryl was at the truck waiting. The side door was still wide open, and Ally could see the monitor blaring a warning. She rolled her eyes, as she stepped into the truck.

Gary entered behind her, “Daryl, can you take us to the ER?”

“Sure, of course”, Daryl answered. Gary held Ally in the back of the truck for the duration of the trip across Silverton to the hospital. Ally didn’t have any cramps in that interval and she was relieved. Maybe she just needed some rest, she thought. They pulled up to the entrance under an portico. Daryl stepped out and opened the side door again, Gary emerged and lead Ally out through the sliding glass doors to the patient counter.

Ally made her best effort, “Hey I would like to be seen please,” Gary stood at her side.

“Yes, miss,” the nurse replied, “what has brought you in today?”

“I’m pregnant”, she looked to Gary, “and I’m having some unusual cramping, I don’t know if I’m bleeding though”, Gary’s eyes shifted widely, his grip on her shoulder tightened considerably.

“I see, well fill this out, we’ll be right with you”, the nurse said shoving a clipboard in Ally’s hand and pointing to a pot of pens to choose from. “I’ll need your insurance card, too”.

Ally moved her hands to pockets, as Gary pulled his bill fold and handed it to the nurse. Ally shyly thanked him. He looked at her without incident. Ally tucked her hair behind her ear, and thanked the nurse as they both found a seat. Ally filled out the basic information needed and noted the time. The weather channel was on a monitor above them in the waiting area, issuing another Tornado warning, and she grinned, wishing that was a distraction right now.

Gary looked at her with deep concern, “Don’t worry, hun. We’ll figure this out together.” He kissed the top of her head, and rubbed her shoulder as they shared a wide seat.

“Allison?” a new nurse called from a triage room, Allison got up and moved towards the room, Gary was right beside her. The triage nurse took her vitals, took the clipboard and asked her questions to confirm the information on it. Ally answered as usual, a keen understanding of the workings of a medical triage. The nurse looked up at her sharply, “How far along are you?”

Gary answered immediately, “12 weeks.” Ally, put her hand on his leg and squeezed it, he looked at her with keenly felt love.

“Alright, well, let’s get you checked out then. You can stay in here, then we will move you to an exam room.” The sirens started blaring again outside, Ally seemed to hear them in her sleep nowadays. The nurse left out an adjacent door into another hallway.

Gary rubbed her hand, “See this is going to be fine, you’ll see.” Ally looked at him hopeful, and sighed, “I just don’t want to disappoint you”.

He looked concerned again, “That is not why we are doing this, you cant disappoint me. It isn’t your fault if something,”

Ally put her fingers to his lips to stop him from talking, “Shh.. no no no.” She chided. Gary stifled a smile.

“I love you no matter what”, he said when she dropped her hand. Ally smiled lightly, “I love you too.” She sort of girl punched him in the side in playfulness. She was feeling a little better, maybe it was just stress. A while later they moved Ally and Gary to an exam room. A nurse took er vitals again, drew some blood, and palpated her abdomen. Gary stood at her bedside watching and holding Ally’s hand. Focused and ready for whatever was to come. A loud crack of thunder broke his concentration and Ally actually flinched. Gary noted that reaction, as it was out of character for her.

More time passed, the rain pelted the hospital, and the town. But thankfully no tornados.

A doctor came in to talk with them about the results of the blood tests, and Ally looked hopeful at some good news. During the exam, she had noted some bleeding, and she knew sometimes that occurred, but she just didn’t want to entertain any negativity.

The doctor looked at Ally flat in the eye, “So your tests came back negative,”

Gary and Ally both sighed in relief.

“let me finish,” said the doctor, “Your pregnancy test came back negative, we cannot explain your bleeding, or the cramping or anything else you have told us”.

Ally sat up angrily, “what are you talking about? I’m pregnant!” her voice raised in alarm.

Tornado sirens blarred again, and Ally looked to Gary who was standing in shock beside her.

The doctor was on a rolly stool, so he wasn’t at eye height, he stood up then to re-declare his position, “Look we ran it three times, I know it sounds strange. I swear I am trying to do this delicate,” Ally looked at him, her heart thundering in her chest, louder than those damn sirens outside.

Gary looked to the doctor, “What are you saying?”

Ally could feel her world spinning then, and she flopped down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling numb.

The doctor continued, “It’s called pseudocyesis, you have some of the symptoms of pregnancy, but its not a real pregnancy from a biological standpoint, its psychological” he moved back a little, looking at Gary who was now in a mix of confusion and protection. “I think you should leave,” Gary finally said.

The doctor bowed his head, “Take all the time you need,”

Ally’s head swam with thoughts, what was going on? The heartbeat, the cramping, the nausea, the sense of smell, she had it all. What was going on? Ally started to cry, big bubbling tears, and turned away from Gary on the bed. Gary moved towards her, his hand rubbing her back.

“I’m so sorry. I tried, I don’t know what happened”, She sobbed. Gary was working through his own disbelief and frustration, but he knew he loved her. He made a promise to take care of her. He wasn’t going to fail now. Gary curled up on the bed with her and held her.

“Shh…” he spoke against Ally’s sobs, “Its ok. We can try again, right?” Ally cried harder at that sentiment.

She turned slightly to look up at him, “Didn’t you hear that smarmy asshole, he said I wasn’t pregnant. You can’t try again for something that didn’t exist!” Gary held her tighter letting her cry.

“I’m sorry. I know, I know. I just don’t, I’ve never even heard of that, have you?” Gary asked.

Ally shook her head, “No, never. What does that even mean? How can my body trick me like that? Am I losing my mind?”

Gary held her face in his hand, brushing a kiss to her temple, “No, no. your not crazy, something must have caused it.” Ally closed her eyes at the kiss, “Then what, what caused it?” she sniffled.

“I don’t know, but I don’t think were going to find that out here”, Gary replied. The nurse knocked on the glass door, and peaked in.

“Were all ready to discharge,” she said. Gary looked at her a bit perturbed.

The nurse recognized this and slinked back out of the doorway. Gary kissed Ally on the head again, and got up, “I’m going to get you some water, do you need anything else?”

She sat up slowly, hugging her one knee and smirking, “Yeah, you got any dignity out there, grab me some.” Gary looked at her, seriously and opened the door, “You are plenty dignified, you have nothing to prove to me, you have a kid already. Grace is wonderful. I’m perfectly satisfied with what we have.”

Gary closed the door and Ally openly wept into her hands, the grief of the realization palatable and earth shattering. She started to have a panic attack. Ally got up and paced the room a minute.

Gary had to go down a rather long hallway to find the water station. And it took some doing to get the nurses to instruct him on how to operate it.

Ally, started to get dressed again, she had to get away, had to clear her head. That doctor was the insane one, not me, Ally thought. She put on her shoes and opened the glass door carefully, peaking around the inner curtain to the nurse’s station. Everyone was busy or back turned to her, viewing monitors and discussing critical patients. Ally looked back and forth but did not see Gary. She snuck out of the room and through an alternate exit.

The cool and warm air hit her in succession as she stepped outside to a dark green sky and a strong breeze. The sun was still in the sky, but it was slowly approaching dusk. She could see Daryl parked a little ways down the parking lot, but she went the other direction. Cutting across the lawn to the hospital and heading for the ominous view of sickly green clouds and a scent of rain. Ally closed her jacket about her and stomped towards the storm.

Ally was aware that walking into a storm like this was utter madness, but her grief was so strong, she didn’t care what happened, she just wanted to wash away that feeling inside her heart. She was consumed by the shame and grief of that information. It just didn’t make any sense.

Gary came back to the room, and as he slid the door open smoothly it didn’t take him long to realize that Ally was gone. He mouthed the words “fuck”, and immediately pulled out his phone to call her. It rang on the bed in the room. He hung up and tried Daryl.

Daryl answered, waiting in the parking lot, “Is everything ok?”

“No, Ally ran off. We got some bad news. I don’t know where she would go, do you?” Gary said, walking towards the main entrance to the ER.

“No, I mean, I haven’t seen her. She didn’t come back to the Van, and I’m sure she could see me if she came out”.

Gary acknowledged him, as he walked up to the truck and got into the passenger seat switching off the call.

“So, where do we go?” Daryl asked.

Gary pointed towards the ominous clouds ahead of them, “How about into that storm”,

Daryl sighed, “I was afraid you were going to say that”. Daryl put the truck into reverse and pulled out of his spot, heading to the road along the hospital. More open fields scattered businesses and residences around the town. Gary scanned streets and open fields for Ally.

Daryl and Gary headed towards the storm, and each minute they got closer, so did the storm.

Ally could feel the shift of wind over head, and she looked up as a pelt of heavy rain droplets hit her in force before reaching the ground and splashing back up against the divet puddles of a tilled crop field. Ally squished through the fields with effort, the rain so heavy it pushed her down into the ground as she walked. A sound of a train made Ally’s head snap up sharply, and the cyclone appeared in front of her about 75 yards away. She looked around for something to hide under or grab hold of. Nothing presented it self. The tornado gave chase as Ally moved away from it. It licked along the ground, kicking up mud and dirt and plants, heading straight for her.

Ally felt the wave of guilt again and stood still, arms out, ready to be taken, “Do your worst!” she shouted amongst the rain and wind.

Daryl spotted her first, they were driving down the parallel road to the field. Gary looked over out his window and saw Ally arms spread wide, and the tornado heading straight for her.

“Oh god,” he gasped, his hand over his mouth, “Can you cut through the field in this?”

Daryl laughed, “haha! Oh yeah I can, watch this.” He flicked some buttons on his side panel and engaged 4-wheel drive with a Jeep modification for mud terrain. “Hold on!”

Gary braced himself, then had a thought, “wait, I’ll go in back, keep the side door open so I can catch her”. Daryl grinned.

The truck veered off the road sharply and into the field. They were headed straight for Ally.

But so was the tornado, it swooshed and dived, picking up more things as it passed a shed.

Ally kept her eyes closed and her arms open, “You can do better than that, try picking me up” she roared at the cyclone.

As the tornado made its way towards her, never breaking stride, Ally peaked at it and grinned desperately, tears streaming down her face. She looked at it careens towards her, a large arm swooped her up and into the van. Gary set her down, and slammed the side door, just as the tornado washed past and behind them. Daryl had his foot deep in the peddle, moving towards the road on the other side of the field.

Gary held her down against the floor of the van, “What were you doing? Trying to kill yourself?”

He shouted, even though the rain had gone. Ally looked up at him, momentarily startled.

“I, I.. I just wanted to be cleansed,” Her face in her hands, sobbing starting again. Gary dropped his anger, and held her to him, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry you felt you had to. It will all be ok. We will heal from this, I promise.”

Ally sobbed into his chest, “But now I cannot trust my own body is telling the truth, let alone what you must think of me”. She held him closer, trying to find solace in his steady warmth.

“Its not about that. I don’t think anything of you. I love you. We will figure this out together ok?” Gary explained, rubbing her soothingly.

Daryl made it back to the road and they drove back to town. The tornado had vanished by then, taking it with it a little bit of Ally’s perseverance, and maybe some trust. She didn’t know where to go from here, but she knew that Gary would lead her safely home.

(Epilogue: There is no offense intended in characters or depictions, this story comes from a personal experience of mine. So it is not fictional for me. I hope that anyone who can identify with any aspect of this experience, though brief in its depiction can find some solace in not being alone with their thoughts or feelings about it)

Taglist:

Anyone I tagged I tried to remain sensitive. it is a short taglist for content reasons. Please reblog if you think it will help someone heal.

@scariusaquarius @lathalea @sweetestgbye

@riepu10

#fanfiction #romance #lyn's writing event 2024 #tornadoes #into the storm #gary fuller #allison stone #richard armitage #sarah wayne callies #betrayal #psuedocyesis #pregnancy #miscarriage #suicide thoughts #rescue

8 notes · View notes