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seeingivy · 7 months ago

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death by a thousand cuts

satoru gojo x f!reader

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

an: a wild taylor as gojo has appeared. enjoy. satoru as taylor swift anon who is always in the asks, this is for you. i see you and i hear you.

“holy shit. there’s no way you’re on his fucking linked in during class?” megumi whispers.

you feel your eyes widen as you look to your left to find a very, deeply distraught megumi staring at you. and it’s almost like clockwork, the way he abandons his accounting spreadsheet – and quickly slides into the messages app on his laptop.

the three consecutive buzzes of your phone thrum under your thigh come before you see nobara and yuuji turn their heads back, two rows ahead of you in the lecture hall, and looking awfully more distraught than megumi.

“you’re kidding.” nobara mouths.

“freak!” yuuji whispers, earning you a set of weird glances from the group at your right.

you glare at the two of them, before turning to megumi and bringing your foot down on top of his. megumi winces, giving you a very characteristic and unbothered eye roll, before he returns to finishing up his spreadsheet.

you pull your hood up over your ears, cheeks warm and pink from embarrassment, before you focus back on the screen.

you know that he’s right. that there is really no point at looking at his account – not when you have all of the details memorized.

Satoru Gojo Senior Data Science Student @ Tokyo Technical Institute

three work experiences. data analytics intern for the justice project. hackathon project lead. meadow investments development engineer.

two degrees under his education. because he’s dual enrolled and set to get a bachelor’s in computer science and a masters in engineering by the end of his term next year.

and one organization. alpha kappa psi, the business fraternity.

the only reason you were at the scene of the crime.

it was all miwa’s fault. and partially yours, for being so willing to come to her aid – at all times. when she asked you to accompany her to the bid party – just because she wanted to support mechamaru fresh in their new relationship and didn’t do too well in social situations – you had all but obliged. at the most, you would get a cheap shot and brownie points to get miwa to run the errands for the entire month.

except when it came to it, miwa wasn’t nervous at all, only because mechamaru had spent the past few weeks hyping her up to his pledge class. which left you alone, stuck to roam around until she was ready to leave at the end of the night.

the floor was sticky with beer, there was an almost rancid, putrid smell lingering in the air that you couldn’t pinpoint, and you were stuck with sixty of your peers – shitfaced to a point you didn’t even know was humanly possible.

and with miwa long gone, doing god knows what with mechamaru and you were stuck leaning against the fridge, bored out of your mind. that’s when he found you – pawing your way through the food.

his smell was the first thing that caught your attention, second to the fact that he was hovering over your shoulder, cheeks brushing against each other. it was almost minty and stark – almost eradicating the lingering smell of weed that was burning your nose.

the skin on his cheek was soft, featherlike when it brushed against yours.

“whatcha doing, dollface?”

you immediately curl your nose, turned off by the unnecessary sweetness. you had your fill of dirty frat boys during orientation week, three years ago, and knew damn well that you had to steer clear of whatever was happening here.

“playing where’s waldo, genius. i’m obviously looking for food.” you state.

you reach for the closest box, a perfectly cut slice of cake, encased in a wrap. the plastic is covered in messy scribbles on the top – spelling out satoru in loopy letters.

“you’re just going to eat someone else’s cake?” he asks.

“how do you know it’s not mine?”

“intuition.”

it’s only then that you stop yourself to look up at this stranger whispering in your ear, only to find glimmering blue eyes, peering over the top of a set of sunglasses. the sunglasses are god awful – even worse with the combination of the tanktop and the snapback he’s wearing backwards.

you swear there’s a faded, glittery pink lipstick mark indented at the top of his cheek.

“you-you’d be shocked.” you stutter, as you pull the box out of the fridge and place it on the counter.

he momentarily walks away – which is when you take the second to ogle him in full. a toned back, a tattoo on the top of his shoulder that you can’t entirely make out. white hair, veiny arms, and a silver necklace hanging against his collarbone.

he returns back, two forks in hand, before making a dramatic display of handing you one.

“for you, my sweet lady.”

“i’m not sure why you brought two forks. who said i was going to share with you?”

he grins, leaning his head back to laugh like a little kid, before he scoots closer to you – the sweet scent coming back.

“c’mon.”

he reaches for your hand, before lifting it to place it against his chest. you can feel his heart beating under the feeling of your fingertips, his eyes wide and expectant as he waits for and answer.

“do me a favor, yeah? let me share my cake with a pretty girl at a party. there’s only a limited amount of joys in this life.”

you scoff, before pulling your hand back.

“you’re corny.”

he shrugs.

“you’ll get used to it.”

you groan, as you slam your computer shut – the image of his shiny headshot staring back at you getting burned into your eyes.

stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.

one stupid joke, a slice of cake, and somehow you woke up in his bed the next day being spooned by him. and one thing led to the next because he was somehow taking you to brunch, then settling his head in between your legs before dinner, and then back at your house the next day.

it was an arrangement at that point. the dinners, what happened in between, and the morning after.

you’re not sure what the terms and conditions are in a predicament like yours – with a guy like satoru. you know for a fact that he still flirts with other girls, because you’d see him walking with a different one every time you stopped at the coffee shop. but then he’d invite you to dinner, honey sweet words falling from his lips before he tucked you in for bed each night.

friends with benefits. but he buys you gifts and takes you to dinner. and calls you beautiful. comes to your house after frat parties, with the faintest scent of a flowery perfume on his neck that you swear you’re imagining.

letting him walk out of your apartment was your own personal tourture, of death by a thousand cuts, because every step farther away from you was closer to someone else.

and that sinking, deep rooted dread, only got worse as time went on.

you feel a hard smack against your head.

“do your fucking homework.”

satoru gojo has distinct features that you always find yourself staring at. a mole on his shoulder, a scar on his pointer finger, and the rings he wore. sometimes, you find yourself asking them about him.

you reach forward, locking your fingers in on the chain around his neck, and using it to pull him closer. it's of a little postage stamp, though the silver looks rusted – like he’s worn it to death. he’s quick to oblige, a warm kiss on your cheek, before you yank again.

“what, baby?” he whines.

“where’d you get your necklace?”

he leans back, looking down at the chain, before his eyes meet yours again. there’s a dim fluorescent glow coming in from the blinds of the window, sun far gone in the horizon, and it’s the only thing that makes this bearable.

that his piercing blue eyes somewhat subdued from the lack of light.

“you want it, princess?”

“what? no. i just like it. i wasn’t –”

it’s a boyish giggle that comes out of satoru’s mouth as he quickly unfastens the clasp from his neck before tangling it in his fist.

you’re not an idiot – because it’s his freezing cold fingers pulling your shirt over your head – before he pulls you into his lap.

this was one of satoru’s favorite things to do. pull you close, till you’re straddling him in his lap, and you can feel his breath tickling against his collarbone as he whispers sweet nothings to you.

you wonder if he can see your blush in the dim light. if that’s part of why he likes it – seeing the effect he has on you.

he reaches forward, pulling your hair to the side and pressing a kiss to your collarbone, before he fastens his silver necklace around your neck.

“you know. when i said i liked your necklace, i said i liked it on you. i wasn’t asking for it.”

“but i like seeing you wear it more.”

satoru’s eyes are focused as he fixes the tangles in the chain, letting the little charm hang right in the little divot where your collarbone ends. and then he brings his hands in around your face, nearly squishing the softness of your cheeks together, before he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“will you wear my hoodie?” he jokes.

you scoff.

“are we in sixth grade? also, it quite literally says ‘yuuta’s big’ on the sleeve. that’s not obvious at all.”

satoru rolls his eyes.

“you would love yuuta, though. he’s your pseudo little brother, because you’re with me, you know?”

you shake your head, as you crawl out of his lap, and reach for the water bottle on the side table. you try to ground yourself, head spinning as you try to decipher what that means – and tap your feet on the floor.

you can feel him at your side, his observant blue eyes burning holes into your skin, as you note the steady, almost cautious tone in his voice.

“you okay? something i said?”

you shake him off.

“yeah, yeah. sorry. got out of the mood there for a second, just have a lot to do this week.”

satoru hums, before bringing his hands around your torso, leaning his entire weight against you as he settles his chin into the crook of your neck.

“you ever think you work too hard, pretty girl?”

“working hard or hardly working?” you joke. even his corny jokes were rubbing off on you.

you hear satoru scoff, before he starts rubbing circles into the bare skin of your stomach, as the goosebumps start to trickle over your skin.

“oh, don’t be like that. you’re the smartest person i know.”

“is this a clever way to get into my pants?”

“no. it’s me telling you that i think you’re very intelligent, you’re very driven, and you don’t have to worry about if you’re working hard enough. i know the only breaks you take are to go to that dumb movie theater downtown with your grumpy friend or when you scream my name every –”

“satoru.” you whine.

“don’t say my name like that. it turns me on.”

you grin.

“satoru.” you hum, teasing him.

“fuck off.”

he pauses, before pressing a lingering kiss to the side of your neck.

“but really. you’re a clever, you’re pretty, and irritatingly very accomplished. slow down so i can catch up, okay?”

“that’s rich coming from you. mister three internships, two degrees in four years.”

it’s quiet.

“how’d you know that?” satoru asks.

you can hear the smile in his voice. and the dread pooling in your stomach.

“what?”

“how’d you know it was two degrees?”

“you-you told me.”

“no, i didn’t. i just got accepted a few weeks ago, i haven’t even told some of my friends yet.”

you groan, before bringing your hands up to your face. you bury your eyes into the sockets of your eyes, getting caught embarrassedly red handed.

“where?”

you sigh.

“i stalked you on linked in.”

satoru grins wide, before pulling you back onto the bed and into his embrace. you can hear his giggling in your ear as you try to pull away.

“oh, baby you didn’t.”

“i had to make sure i didn’t apply where you worked!”

“no, you didn’t. we don’t even work in the same field.”

“you don’t know! i could change my mind!”

satoru laughs, before leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“you have a crush on me! angel, you should have just said so!”

you give him a hard push, before crossing your arms over your chest.

“quit teasing. so i’m a stalker! so what? i just want to make sure i’m not putting out for a loser. you could be coding some AI for the government for all i know and i don’t want to be –”

“okay, okay. relax. i’m just teasing, i just think it’s cute you keep tabs on me.”

you glare.

“i don’t like you.” you state.

he rolls his eyes, before flopping his head down on your pillow and tapping the space next to him. you crawl into the space, before nestling yourself into his arms. you can feel your brain spiraling – instant regret for saying too much, being too weird, too harsh, and not saying what you felt – as you focus on the feeling of his hands running through your hair.

“i can tell that the hamster in your brain is working overtime. just go to bed, okay?”

“okay, lock the door when you leave?”

“i don’t have plans tomorrow morning. if you could humble yourself to eat breakfast with me, i’d actually like that.”

you frown, stomach jolting in your guts.

he had never stayed for an arbitrary reason – like spending the night just to sleep next to you. you shut your eyes, burying your face deeper into the sweet smell of his skin, and throw the thought away.

“mimosas?”

“you want to drink that early in the morning?”

“it’s saturday. gives me a good kick to start my day.”

“aren’t mimosas made with champagne? i hate champagne. and it makes you really handsy.”

you smile.

“you like when i’m handsy.”

“i mean, yes. but we can just do pancakes and go to the library together so we can do work. i’ll keep you accountable and find you snacks when you get inevitably cranky. then when you come home all tired, we can be as handsy as we want. it’s more satisfying when you have to work for it.”

you groan, burying the complications of spending yet another day with him in the back of your head as you try to flutter your eyes shut – in futile attempts to quiet the thoughts racketing around in your mind.

“okay, okay whatever. we’ll see tomorrow, i just – i’m really tired right now and –”

“shut up, dollface. just sleep.”

you get invited to the alpha kappa psi formal. miwa – who found out from mechamaru, whose pledge class brother is very close with satoru’s little yuuta – said that satoru wanted you there.

then why didn’t he ask you?

you bite the bullet anyways, borrowing one of kugisaki’s pale blue slip dresses – and attend as mechamaru’s pledge brother – todo’s date – to get in.

he’s a strange guy, who doesn’t pay you too much attention. it’s one polite wave and a cardstock ticket he hands you before you don’t see him again for the rest of the night. and you’re stuck with miwa and mechamaru, who are bigger fans of pda than you are.

“how’s satoru, y/n?” mechamaru asks.

“ah. he’s good. you know as much as i do, right?”

you can feel yourself sweating.

would satoru leave if you said too much? if you embarrassed him in front of one of his brothers? did they know you guys had an…arrangement? was it an arrangement? were you seeing each other? why did they think he invited you?

“dunno. aren’t you guys really good friends?” mechamaru asks.

“um, yeah.”

“yeah, he was telling us you studied together at the library the other day. figured he’d want you to meet suguru and ieiri.”

suguru and ieiri.

“yeah. i’m gonna go get a drink. do you guys want anything?”

“i’m good, love. we’ll be here.” miwa states, giving a reassuring squeeze to your bicep before you drag your heels to the makeshift bar.

you walk over to the bar, straight to the open bottle of rosé that has your name on it, as you lean against the wall. you pour way too much into your flute, nearly spilling it over the back of your hand, as you curse.

“do you want help?”

you look up to find a boy looking at you, wide eyes, with his bangs sweeping down the side of his face. he has tired eyes, but it’s a seemingly bright smile he offers you.

“sorry, yeah. i’ll clean it up, i swear.”

“no, no. no problem.”

he hands you a handkerchief from his pocket, before he pulls your hand in his and wipes the excess pink stain on it. you cringe at the stain on the cloth before he tucks it back into his pocket.

“i’m sorry about that. that’s really kind of you, i just –”

“no problem! you seemed…kind of frustrated there. happy to help.”

you shoot him a polite smile, before nervously sipping – maybe a little too fast for comfort. but the warm feeling is enough to temporarily curb the nerves, which is perfect for your sake.

“are you a brother?” you ask.

“yeah! is this your first formal?”

“yeah. i’m seeing someone in your frat and he asked me to come. well, he didn’t ask me to come, he told someone else he wanted me to come so i came as one of the other brother’s date. but not really his date, because i haven't seen him since then. or the guy i’m talking to.”

he leans back, eyes wide.

“right. do you like him? if…if you mind me asking.”

“my date? i can’t even remember his name. he’s like a tall, muscular guy. man bun?”

“no, yeah. his name is todo, i figured that’s who you were talking about. i mean the other guy.”

“oh. well, yeah. but he’s so…i don’t know. he’s a frat guy. and a chronic flirt. the first time i met him he had a lipstick stain on his cheek. and he smells like girly perfume every time he comes to see me, so –”

he sucks his teeth in.

“idiot.” he murmurs.

“what?”

“no! oh my god, not you! i meant…me! just thought of something. gotta run for a second, i’ll be back.”

“wait, you didn’t even tell me your –”

you watch as he rushes off, in a speed walking fervor, as mechamaru and miwa join you at your side. they give you a polite smile, which you return, as you swirl the glass in your hand.

“mechamaru. do you know that guy who just walked away? tired looking, the long hair?”

“oh, yuuta. yeah, what about him?”

“yuuta?”

“yeah, you’ve never met him? he’s like gojo’s pride and joy.”

you sink against the wall, embarrassment coursing through you, as you down the rest of your glass. and then three more, which is accompanied by weary looks from miwa. and after finishing off the entire bottle – an hour and a half into the party without seeing satoru – you’re set on leaving.

and it’s only on your rageful stomp out the door, well past tipsy, that you find the godawful man of the hour, leaning against the wall.

it’s enough to fill you with a rage. because he’s leaning against the wall, shirt slightly unbuttoned, and smiling brightly at whichever girl he’s talking to. you’re almost positive that it’s probably her flowery perfume that you’re smelling on his neck at the time, that she’s who he sees when he’s not with you, and it’s like pins and needles in your stomach.

and you almost make your escape, before he catches you on your way out.

“y/n? wait, y/n!”

you’re one step out the door, before he grabs your bicep, and pulls back, giving you a bright grin.

“i didn’t know you were here yet. i’ve been waiting, come here, c’mhere.” satoru mumbles, quickly rushing you over to the group of three people standing by the door, who all turn their heads for you.

you groan as you turn to the group of them. it’s the same tired eyes as before – that you now know belong to yuuta – and two strangers you’ve never seen before. a guy almost as tall as satoru, with swooping bangs and a manbun, and the girl – who you can’t stand to look at, with perfect beach waves swooping past her shoulders.

and what you can’t help but notice is a sparkling, silver postage stamp necklace around her neck. the same one around yours, that you had been fidgeting with since satoru gave it to you weeks ago.

“here’s your drink, satoru.” the girl states, handing him a glass of white wine that he takes.

it’s enough to make your rage bubble to the surface.

“the lady of the hour, guys! this is y/n, she’s my –”

you scoff.

“are you kidding?”

“hm?”

“lady of the hour? for what, your jokes?”

you watch as satoru’s face drops, before he sets the glass of wine down on the closest table.

“huh? what do you mean? i wanted to introduce you to ieiri, i know you’re going to love her.”

you can feel the tears accumulating in your eyes, that you’re almost positive that satoru notices, because his face visibly droops even more, this time replaced with genuine concern that sends a pang in your chest that has you wrestling your wrist out of his hold.

“you…you’re so mean, satoru.”

“baby, what?”

“don’t…why are you calling me that? every morning you wake up next to me and you’re still not my baby. that’s not exactly fair. you smell like a different girl and you still…you still flirt with other people.” you whisper.

his eyes go wide.

“no, i –”

“every time you walk away i’m half convinced you’re just going to someone else you’re stringing along like me. i’m sitting there thinking about how you’ve walked hundreds of steps away from me hundreds of times and it feels like a thousand little cuts every time you do and it kills me that you don’t even care.”

you can feel that whatever is coming out is word vomit, like it’s started and now it won’t ever stop.

“i see you everywhere, because you literally come everywhere with me just to leave. any song you’ve sang is now our song, any movie, literally anything you’ve even touched. i can’t even wear certain clothes without thinking about how you complimented me in them and i’m stuck thinking about how you probably say that to everyone. you don’t even drink wine and you’re over here drinking some with this random girl at this party, when that’s my thing that we drink wine together. you gave her the same necklace as me, and you apparently asked me to come to but didn’t even tell me about to my face? then you sick your little frat brother to ask me if i like you just so you can….i don’t know, i don’t know what you’d do with that information!”

you watch as satoru pinches the bridge of his nose, only to turn to the three of them at his side, who are all shaking their heads dismissively.

“suguru. i fucking told you he had to be leaving something out.”

“well, i didn’t realize it was going to be like this, shoko. no wonder she won’t date him.”

you swallow hard, as you seem to sink deeper in the pits of your own embarrassment, which seems to be a record low.

“fuck. you…you said her name is shoko?”

geto offers you a smile.

“that’s right.”

“like satoru’s hometown friend? the…the lesbian?”

“that would be me.” she confirms.

you cringe.

“oh my god. i’m really sorry, i’m really drunk. i drank an entire bottle of wine after i accidentally talked to yuuta and i just –”

“well, i’d get drunk if i were you too. he smells like other girls? and flirts with them?” shoko asks.

“i do not! i don’t even know what you’re talking about. i didn’t even know she even liked me back till twenty minutes ago.”

“the necklace is a nice gesture. satoru, geto, and i all have these matching postage stamp necklaces from this shitty place in our hometown. we got them together when we graduated so we wouldn’t forget about what was important when we all go to college.”

you turn to satoru.

“and you just gave that to me?”

“well, i knew you’d take care of it.”

“that’s like…that’s like sentimental, satoru. you literally gave me your childhood best friends memento and that’s so-”

“well, obviously that seems like a little much if you think we’re just friends with benefits!”

you scoff.

“you’re the one who wanted to be friends with benefits.” you clarify.

“what are you talking about? you literally cringe away from any affection i give you!” satoru retorts.

“because you flirt with other girls!”

“not since you! why would i flirt with other people?”

“you tell me. i smell the perfume.”

satoru groans.

“that’s your perfume, dipshit. you left your hoodie at my house and it smells like you so sometimes i sleep next to it and then i smell like it. how do you not recognize your own smell?”

you pause.

“you do what?”

“not in a fucking weird way. i just miss you when you’re busy. you smell nice, it’s –”

“hopeless.” yuuta states, earning him a nod from suguru.

“you didn’t even ask me to come here with you.” you state.

“shoko had to be my date so she could come. i had to make yuuta drag maki in through a window because geto was his plus one. i just wanted you here so you could meet my childhood friends, who i care about. they’ve heard about you for so long that i just thought –”

“you talk to your friends about me?”

“an insufferable amount. though most of his agony seems self inflicted now, because he’s a fucking idiot.” shoko confirms.

“okay, let’s get y/n some water, yeah?” yuuta suggests, before shuffling the two of them off, to which satoru sends a grateful smile before turning back to you.

he crouches down a little, just so your eyes are level, as you frown at him.

“is this what that hamster in your brain is doing up there? overthinking literally everything?”

“you –”

“if you asked, i would have clarified for you. we’ve always been exclusive and if you talked to someone else while we were talking, i’m going to have to kill him.”

“don’t be stupid.”

“i’ll just send a threat! sign his emails up for scientology. he was talking to my girl!”

you glare at him.

“you…you’re so stupid, satoru. you confuse me so much and i just…you take up too much space. you’re everywhere – literally no part of me that you haven’t taken up and i just…”

satoru frowns, before pulling his hands around your face, and angling up by your chin to look at him.

“don’t give up now. it just got good.” he whispers.

“satoru.”

“cmon. let me lick all thousand of your cuts clean.”

“ew. you’re…you’re so gross, satoru.”

“okay, that was just a dirty joke. but let me make it up to you, really. i didn’t realize you…you were thinking all that. i thought you just liked me because i was sexy and because i eat your –”

“satoru!”

“please. let me into that hamster ball in your brain. i deserve some space.”

“it’s all boarded up. the hamster ball house burned down.” you groan.

he leans back, like he’s inspecting your face, before he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“dunno. i’m seeing some flickering lights in there. i can tell your hamster in there really wants me.”

“quit….quit calling me a hamster! you’re so…ugh. i have a headache and i’m drunk and i’m really confused and i just –”

satoru mimics a little salute, before he loops his hand around your waist and walks you towards the little bar.

“okay, test run. i’m on boyfriend duty. if this goes well enough, you give me a chance tomorrow.”

you squint your eyes at him.

“okay, water first. then i have two baby aspirin for you in my pocket. three kisses on the cheek if you won’t insult me after and a compliment if you won’t kill me.”

“really?”

“yuuta told me you downed a whole bottle. since you’re too mad to be handsy, you have a headache. but don’t worry, i came prepared. meaning i forced yuuta to find some baby aspirin or else. and also, kisses because you smell good and you’re wearing this pretty blue dress that’s the same color as my eyes and you’re about to meet my favorite people ever and you’re my favorite person ever, so this is a big deal.” satoru responds.

he’s rambling so hard that you feel like you can see the hamster in his mind working overtime.

“what’s the verdict?”

satoru’s voice is like a thousand bullets in your head as you smack him in the face, trying to silence the chattering coming out of his mouth.

“satoru. what…what time is it?”

“six in the morning. but it’s the next day and i need to know how my test run went.”

“your….what?”

satoru whines.

“no, no don’t tell me you’re too drunk to remember? my test run! to be your boyfriend?”

you groan, flickering your eyes open to the alarm clock on your bed, spelling out the time. 6:07 am.

“no, i remember. you need the answer at six in the morning when i’m hungover?”

“this is agony! i really get this whole thousand cuts thing now, this hurts. tell me.”

you push his face into the pillow, before mumbling it as quietly as you can.

“you pass.”

“huh?”

“you heard me. you passed. just…shut up, please.”

it’s his giggles you hear before sleeping and a warm kiss on your forehead, before you pass out again.

satoru as taylor swift songs masterlist

taglist: @invisible-mori @porridgesblog @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @luna0713hunter @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @torureadz @dreamxiing @mamamamamarga

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anonymouspuzzler · 2 years ago

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finished one of my finals so i decided to celebrate by sketching up some concepts for cal's mind in the Cally O'Pia au!! putting image IDs/descriptions and general elaborating on my Vision(TM) under da cut cause i can tell even before typing it's gonna get long (PSYCHONAUTS 2 & RHOMBUS OF RUIN SPOILERS IN THERE BTW YOU ARE WARNED)

Welcome. Let Me Describe You My Vision. my goal with this was essentially "how do I hit the major plot beats that are necessary for Psychonauts 2's plot to Happen while still incorporating Cal's very different backstory in this AU"; some of this involves functionally combining RoR's and Psychonauts 2's versions of Loboto's mental world. maybe someday I'll go into how I envision RoR changing in this au but whatever right now we're on The Opening of Psychonauts 2 As Played Out In This Verse

first things first Sasha's Psychic Projection has to be completely different given 1) Cally already works for the Psychonauts 2) he knows the other agents very well already and 3) he is a Known Psychic rather than a random feral dentist Morry picked up off the streets. so rather than the "Psychonauts office where Loboto gets employee of the year and has to get his vacation form signed off on" construction, Sasha instead constructs a scenario where Cally is still under his "Dr. Loboto" guise, has captured the other agents, and has to deliver Raz to his boss. unfortunately for Sasha, Cally catches on pretty much right away, plays along for all of five minutes, then drops everyone in a little box to keep them contained while he makes sure all the info on his boss is under mental lock and key. Unlike the ones you see above, Raz's box is kind of plain and nondescript because, unlike all the other agents he's known for years, all Cally knows about Raz is "psychic kid who keeps getting himself in some shit".

because this is, you know, The First Level of the Imaginary Game, this still has to be constructed as a tutorial, too, which you will see as I get into each of these little boxes. Raz's box teaches you to use your standard psi-punches, because it is Hastily and Weakly Put Together, so Raz can literally bust his way out and scamper around looking for the others. Cally, in turn, keeps trying to re-trap Raz as he investigates the next boxes, but with the help of the other agents Raz keeps finding ways to break out and proceed further (though the others remain stuck).

The first one Raz finds is Oleander's, which you can see in the top left of the first pic - the primary theming is Loboto's Lab from the first game and drawing on their time working together there, but the walls are also covered in pictures of Oleander and/or the two of them together, that have all been defaced or scribbled over in some form (since at the time of the game they're very much on the Off side of their On-Off relationship). To get out of the box Oleander re-teaches Raz telekinesis, which allows him to open up the hatch on the upper right of the wall, and then gives Raz a boost out - Coach, of course, isn't able to reach it himself before Cally slams the door behind Raz. You also may notice a hidden room behind one of the pictures - you can only get in there by returning later in the game when you have pyrokinesis, and once you do, you'll find a memory vault about his and Morry's relationship (which i've had concepted out for like a year and WILL draw eventually) and a bunch of photos that haven't been defaced (representing how Cally still has much stronger feelings for Oleander than he's admitted to, and is still carrying a torch even through the surface level of their breakup).

Next comes Sasha (top right picture in the first image), whose room is kind of a combo of his and Otto's labs, with a bunch of the props drawn from both locations - books, papers, inventions, computers, The Lamp, you know how it be. The floor also has a big glass swirl that gives you a peek at Otto's brain storage, which has a bunch of brains tumble by as you're in there (plus the occasional Faberge egg, for Foreshadowing - for even more of that, there's also the brain case on top of Sasha's exam table in the corner). The escape here escalates to a two-step process - Sasha re-teaches Raz psi-blast, the two of you combine forces to pry the door open with TK, and then the chattering teeth start spilling in and Raz has to fight his way out with psi-blast.

Third comes Milla - I swapped her with Lilli compared to the "canon" order first because I misremembered, but then I stuck with it because I felt like it worked better thematically. Anyway, Milla's room (seen bottom left) is a combo of her meditation chamber and Cassie's house back in the gulch, with pillows and tapestries and books everywhere, honeycomb wallpaper, and of course, Bees? Bees! They Have Chosen The Bees. You might notice the big scary beehive from the Forgetful Forest in the middle of the room; the escape here involves Milla re-teaching Raz levitation, the two of them pulling out the beehive with TK, using psi-blast to fend off the subsequent BEES, and then Raz drops in the hole and uses levitation to hover his way to safety. (At this point Cally is like KID C'MON and outright intercepts and dementistrates Milla rather than just keep her trapped.)

Last but hardly least is Lilli; she's in a combo of Truman's office and what she tells Raz looks a lot like her house/apartment - Cally's functionally kind of an uncle to her in this verse, so he's been particularly thoughtful in crafting a comfortable, familiar mind-prison for her. (The Extremely Subtle Foreshadowing also continues here, with envelopes and a hacksaw on the desk, the brain case on the shelf, and of course The Fuckoff Huge Crown Chandelier hanging above the desk.) The other wall has a bunch of family photos of Lilli and Truman, and one big pic of young Cally and Truman in the Gulch; Lilli re-teaches Raz pyro so he can burn that, and Enormous Mental Cally takes this as an opportunity to grab Raz much like in the original game.

Now we're at the point of the second image, and where things particularly divert from the original version of the level in my mind! Big Ol Cally drops Raz in a combat arena and he has to deal with a few waves of Censors and Doubts and Regrets - I haven't decided if this is the first time you encounter true Combat or if you have mini-waves throughout the level like in the "canon" version, but if it is your first combat I like the idea of Lilli being your "mission control" explaining the new enemies an dhow to beat them. Either way, Raz fights a couple waves while trying to convince Cally to give them information, he refuses, and when it looks like Raz is in a real tight spot he manages to dive off the arena deeper into Cally's subconscious.

This is where we start incorporating RoR stuff! Raz drops all the way to the little dollhouse representation of Cal's childhood home, goes in, sees a little Cassie-style paper projection of young Cal and overhears his parents having their Oh What Can We Possibly Do We Can't Handle This Child Anymore conversation. Paper Cal hides in a wardrobe, Raz follows, and this portals into this endless-seeming hospital hallway where dialog plays between li'l Cal and the doctors, revealing to Raz that they were going to lobotomize him for being psychic. (I think maybe you find your first accessible memory vault either here or in the path I talk about in a second; that one goes into how Cal got taken in by the psychic 7 and i also have that one concepted out please god give me time and energy to draw these soon). After this plays there's a cutscene where representations of the psychic 7 tear apart the hallway, and Raz falls into this paper representation of the Gulch. He follows a little path past some simple setpieces of things you'll see later in the game, talks to himself a bit like Wow This Is Just Like True Psychic Tales So Cool That Agent O'Pia Grew Up Here :)

Now this path leads past a little paper version of Lucy's hut (which Raz doesn't recognize for sure, which bugs him), and the path around THAT leads to a big winding path through a parted waterway (which Raz is Very Much Not Happy About, reestablishing the water curse - maybe there's a little cutscene where he sees the hand of Galochio much like in the first game at the beach). Raz nervously walks through, and dialogue plays between Cally and Mysterious Figures revealing Cal got caught undercover and was threatened into assisting with the Kidnap Truman plot (or rather, they threatened Cassie and Lillie and Oleander, which ended up being Much more effective than threatening his own life). At the end of the path Raz finds the base from RoR, and it's in there that he sees "Loboto" talking to the Shadowy Figure similar to canon and 1) learns whoever hired Loboto was a mole, and 2) sees the vision of Maligula when the figure reiterates his threat to Cal-slash-Cal's family. Vision-Maligula destroys the village, Raz snaps back to the real world, and There's Our Game!

if you've read this far you're a hero beyond compare here's the image descriptions for you

[Image 1 ID: Digital sketches of four boxlike rooms. The top left room is labeled "OLEANDER" and incorporates elements from Loboto's Lab in Psychonauts, including the jagged glass window, Mr. Pokeylope's terrarium, and a prototype brain tank sticking out of the floor. There are miscellaneous papers on the floor, and a brain tank blueprint on the wall. Various framed photos of Oleander are also on the wall, most of which have been scribbled over or otherwise defaced. There is a hatch high on one wall, and a secret room with a memory vault behind a pyro-able picture.

The top right room is labeled "SASHA" and resembles a combination of Sasha and Otto's labs, with a large bookshelf making up one wall covered in books, papers and gadgets, floating shelves on the other wall, as well as a desk with office chair, computer monitor and Tiffany lamp. Sasha's examination table is in a far corner, with Truman's brain case on top of it. The floor has a glass swirl revealing brains being transported similar to Otto's brain storage. There is a partially open sliding door on one wall where chattering teeth toys are spilling in.

The bottom left room is labeled "MILLA" and resembles a combination of Milla's meditation chamber and Cassie's home in the Gulch. The walls have a honeycomb pattern wallpaper and string lights, with an eye tapestry hanging on one wall. There are round lantern lights hanging from the ceiling, with bees flying overhead. The floor is a round conversation pit covered in pillows, throw rugs and books; in the center is a massive oozing beehive similar to the one in the Forgetful Forest.

The final, bottom right room is labeled "LILLI" and resembles Truman's office. There is a desk covered in envelopes and a hacksaw, with a desk chair behind it and two 60's style chairs in front. There are two shelves along the wall behind the desk, containing the brain case among other things, and the wall prominently displays the Psychonauts logo. A chandelier resembling the Maliks' crown is hanging from the ceiling above the desk. There is a couch and several plants against the opposite wall, and many family photos of Truman and Lilli on the wall perpendicular, with the largest (pyro-able) one being a picture of young Cally and Truman. End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: Digital sketches of three scenes in Cally's mental world. The first shows Raz (represented by the simple head-and-legs silhouette used in Peter Chan's concepts) diving off a disc-like combat arena (on which are several Censors, Doubts and Regrets) towards the dollhouse representing Cal's childhood home, which is floating in space. The second shows Raz in one of the dollhouse rooms with a paper-projection version of young Cal, with an arrow leading into a wardrobe, which portals into a long hospital hallway with a "NEUROLOGY" sign on the wall, eventually trailing off into nothing. The third shows Raz walking past Lucy's old hut in the Gulch, along a winding path through parted water, and ultimately to the Rhombus of Ruin base. End ID.]

#anonymous puzzler art #anonymous puzzler writes #(there's a lot of words in there it counts)#psychonauts 2 spoilers #rhombus of ruin spoilers #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #if y'all aren't familiar with the au A) there's posts recently in my psychonauts tag B) Inbox Is Open lmao #long post /

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tinyinvadr · 5 months ago

Text

Next chapter is here!

Psychoborrower

Chapter 7

It was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like forever. The entire time, I was curled up in a fetal position, shuddering. I was certain death would claim me at any moment, but it never came.

I was so caught up in my own dread that I didn’t notice when the monster spat us back out.

Raz patted me on the head as he had me still clutched to his chest. He at least had the decency to attempt to provide me with some sense of comfort and security during the whole ordeal, but that didn’t distract me from the fact that he got us into it in the first place.

“Hehe… It’s okay, Flint. We’re out.”

When I opened my eyes, my first instinct was to PSI-Blast him in the face.

“Ow! Hey, I thought you weren’t gonna zap me anymore!”

“I won’t… as long as you NEVER make me do that again!”

Raz smiled at the lungfish apologetically as he put me back on his shoulder.

“Uh… Thanks for bringing us across.”

The fish nodded slowly, then coughed up the skeleton of a smaller fish. It took everything in me not to gag at the sight.

“If ever you need passage across the lake, simply blow the Lungfish Call, and I will come ashore.”

I winced as Raz picked up the bony fish call. So morbid… So unsanitary…

“We won’t need that.”

“We might need it.”

The lungfish started to back into the water.

“I must return to the lake now. I wish you both luck in rescuing your friends.”

“Thank you, uh… sorry, do you have a name?” Raz asked. “I feel kinda bad just calling you ‘lake monster.’”

“My true name is… Lindaaaaa…”

With that, she disappeared into the lake. You know, I thought she looked like a Linda.

We turned away from the shore to continue forward, and it was then that I saw it: the abandoned asylum.

I’d heard rumors of this place before from the other campers. It’s said that the high concentration of psitanium buried beneath the grounds drove everyone insane, including the staff. I also heard that supposedly, some of the patients never left, and still roamed the crumbling remains of the tower.

Regardless of if that was true or not, the ambience of the place was definitely creepy enough to function as an evil lair.

We climbed up to the front gate, where a security guard was pacing back and forth, rambling to himself and scribbling diagrams on the walls.

I was about to remind Raz to hide me, but that didn’t seem to be necessary. The guard was so preoccupied that he didn’t notice me at all. He barely noticed Raz.

The guard claimed that he had been hired to guard the asylum, but he wouldn’t let us in. Or, he couldn’t. He didn’t have the key. The Milkman did. But the Milkman was sleeping on the job.

“I… What is this guy on about? Why would a milkman have the key when he’s supposed to be guarding the place?”

At that, Raz pulled the psycho-portal out of his bag again.

“Only one way to find out.”

Under any other circumstances, I would have argued against poking around in this very paranoid man’s mind, but desperate times called for desperate measures. There was no telling what horrible things were happening to the campers and counselors.

I decided this time I would project as myself. If the situation became dangerous, I could switch to human form, but I wanted to preserve my energy so I wouldn’t have a repeat of Lungfishopolis.

And… I trusted that Raz would protect me. Of course, I couldn’t let him know that. His head was big enough already, he really didn’t need that extra ego boost.

With the portal locked on, we projected in, and found ourselves in a house. The guard was doing the exact same thing we first found him doing: laying out a makeshift conspiracy board. All over the walls were newspaper clippings, and there were even pages scattered on the floor. It looked more like a mess than anything else.

He told us to check the fridge, and to my surprise, we found a Clairvoyance merit badge.

“Wait, you can just… get new powers in random peoples’ minds?”

“Oh yeah. I learned how to use a shield back in Linda’s mind. Though, I think the badge was left there by Coach. Maybe something similar happened here…”

Of course. It would make sense to have reinforcements in place to keep us out of the asylum. The real question was what exactly he did to this man.

Using Clairvoyance, we could see through his eyes and understand his insane ramblings. All clues pointed towards the Milkman being dead. But the guard insisted that wasn’t the case. He told us to investigate the cemetery, then sent us on our way.

While I admittedly hadn’t seen very many mental worlds in the grand scheme of things, this was easily the strangest. It was like an ordinary suburban town, but it had been deconstructed into winding, gravity defying pieces of its former self. That, and all of the inhabitants were robots in trench coats.

Just down the street, a group of them had blocked off the road, reserving the space only for the road crew. They were all standing around, waving stop signs to direct nonexistent traffic.

“No pedestrian traffic allowed.”

“Hmm… I don’t think they’re gonna let us pass. Should we blast ‘em?” I asked.

Raz looked around, then spotted something and ran over to a nearby car. In the trunk was a stop sign that looked identical to the ones the road crew had.

“You really think they’re gonna fall for that?”

He picked up the sign and went back over the the closed off area. And sure enough…

“Hello, fellow road crew worker. Welcome to the road crew.”

We were able to navigate the rest of the neighborhood following this logic. It seemed like these guys were programmed to monitor different zones of the town, acting undercover in designated roles. As long as we also played along, they wouldn’t become hostile.

The cemetery was among these guarded zones, and only “grieving widows” were allowed entry. Which of course meant we had to have flowers for our dead husband.

While searching for flowers, something strange happened. We were approached by an ordinary-looking little girl on roller skates. Something about seeing a normal human in this freakish town was unnerving.

“Hello! Would you like to buy some Rainbow Squirts cookies?”

I… may or may not have a hard time controlling myself when cookies are involved.

“Yes, we’ll take them all.”

Raz glared at me for a second, but shrugged it off.

“But before we buy any cookies, we can’t really enjoy them without MILK, right? Do you know where I could buy some MILK?”

The Rainbow Squirt screamed and rolled away, but she didn’t go far. I saw her duck behind a bush and continue to watch us.

“That was weird.” Raz said.

“Yeah, ‘cause you made it too obvious. And now you owe me cookies.”

We eventually found some flowers in a hedge maze, and we returned to the cemetery, allowed entrance this time thanks to our fool-proof grieving widow disguise.

While we were there, we came across a memory that gave us a bit more insight on the mind we were working with.

The security guard’s name was Boyd Cooper, and he ended up in the asylum after burning down a store he was fired from using Molotov Cocktails. Clearly this guy was not someone you’d wanna mess with.

Moving along, we made our way to the back of the cemetery, where we found the mausoleum that the Milkman was supposedly buried in. The entrance was blocked by thorns, but Raz was able to burn them away with Pyrokinesis.

All we found in there was a book.

“Wait, that’s it? Where’s the Milkman?!”

Raz made two fatal mistakes in that moment. Loudly announcing that we’re looking for the Milkman, and putting down the flowers, completely blowing our cover.

“Are you a grieving widow?”

“Where are your flowers?”

“What did you find in the mausoleum?”

“What is the purpose of the goggles?”

One of these days this kid’s gonna get us both killed, I swear…

After an agonizing interrogation session, we were let go, and returned to Boyd’s house with the book.

He was ecstatic to see it, telling us about how the book was just what we needed to uncover the truth. Though, I was still confused by pretty much everything he said. Why was there a huge conspiracy surrounding a milkman of all people in the first place?

The next place he sent us to investigate was the book depository, which for some reason was heavily guarded by armed assassins. So to blend in, he gave Raz a rifle.

“Whoa, now we’re talkin’!”

“Why… Why would you give him that?”

“It’s fake. But it looks real enough to fool the assassins.” Boyd explained.

“Aw man…”

That boy scares me.

Without explaining further, Boyd threw us out of his house, and we were off to hopefully close this case for good.

I can tell you right now, we were far from the path to a straight answer.

#giant/tiny #g/t #giant tiny #g/t writing #psychonauts

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