#protective bilbo

[mrskillingjoke]

Everyone knows the sunshine and the sunshine protector.

This is the "sunshine protector" and "sunshine protectors protector who's also the sunshine being protected"

[pilkypills]

Thorin “Does Not Like Lying” II Oakenshield Son of Thrain Son of Thror vs Bilbo “Would Absolutely Lie to You. Like a Damn Rug. Through his Teeth. Is Lying To You Right This Second” Baggins

[arathejedi394]

my brain's been flopping around between chilaios, stucky, and bagginshield, so have a bagginshield thought + some mpreg <3

thorin: from the moment i first saw you, i loved you bilbo: well, the moment i first saw you, i thought you were a conceited, stuck-up prick. i still think that sometimes. thorin: i love you so much bilbo: hmph. i will allow you to wed me and put one (1) baby in me. i tolerate you enough for that. thorin: [fist pump of victory]

ten years later...

bilbo: [kicks down the doors to the throne room] bilbo: WHERE IS YOUR DAMN KING all the dwarves: [point to their damn king with zero hesitation] thorin: i sense i have done something incorrect dwalin: no shit bilbo: [now brandishing a pair of scissors] THORIN OAKEN-FUCIKING-SHIELD IT IS TIME FOR YOUR WINGS TO BE CLIPPED thorin: ??? bilbo: I SAID ONE (1) BABY!!! bUT GUESS WHO'S PREGNANT FOR THE EIGHTH FUCKING TIME!!! THORIN!!! thorin: [looks at the scissors] thorin: my beloved,,, what are those for bilbo: y o u r b a l l s thorin: [flees from the throne room] bilbo: [running with scissors like everyone says not to do] GET BACK HERE YOU HAIRY LITTLE SHIT IT'S TIME FOR YOUR STONES TO GO BACK TO THE STONE random guard: are we... are we going to save the king? dwalin: no? did you not hear the consort? this is the eighth time. the king either has to learn to pull out, or get his pipes snipped. nori: besides i pinched the scissors. not for thorin's sake, to be clear. bc you should never run with scissors, and if we lost the consort, the whole mountain would fall apart. bilbo, ten corridors over already: heY WAIT A SECOND WHERE DID MY SCISSORS GO thorin: oh thank ma- YOU WERE RUNNING WITH SCISSORS??

oin is the first dwarf to perform a vasectomy. the king under the mountain is his first patient. the next dwarf to get a vasectomy is not born for nearly a thousand years, since dwarves rarely mate outside their species and have a very low birth rate to begin with. bilbo does not talk to thorin for like two weeks. eight times, he asks you. and yannow what??

three of those times. were multiples.

[matiasthecamilion]

I like to think that everyone in the Shire knows that Sam loves the Baggins deeply and that if you say anything about them you'll probably get a good punch straight in the face.

[freebee303]

Imagine the Dwarves staying in Laketown and at first they get along well with Bard and the kids.

Then they start hearing both the outright and built in sexism and gendered insults and such as well as homophobia and they get super confused.

Big fat headcanon that one of them definitely beats up someone making Sigrid uncomfortable while out and about.

Then Bilbo who was a regular visitor of Bree and while not overly fond of humans he’s less fond of their ways. Has to explain the concept of sexism and homophobia.

The Dwarves totally didn’t straight up adopt Sigrid and Tilda in my fic… but it’s cute.

[postmail]

i love it when people give them this type of dynamic... silly whimsical old man + the baffled yet fond teenage boy who just. loves his weird ass cousin/uncle/grandpa(/dad??) so much he would throw away everything for his goofy ass. i sure do hope nothing happens to split these two bagginses up!

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I remember ppl bitching that Thorin in the hobbit films was too serious/stoic and while I understand as someone who loved the strange whimsy of book Thorin I do think the movies is a bit more accurate to how someone in his position would behave and also we have to remember The Hobbit was initially written for all ages. I'm not saying one version of Thorin is better than the other but I am saying that I'm glad we have both versions of Thorin because it makes him a more enjoyable character overall. and both sides of him can coexist

[bisexualmultifandommess]

Boffins AU where both Bilbo and Bofur raise Frodo after his parents die and Bofur is constantly showing Frodo off and carrying him around because he loves his new nephew/adopted son. He loves to cuddle both Frodo and Bilbo because they’re his entire world.

[nolonger-roses]

Those two only needed some I-saved-your-life typa action and then they were never seen separated by choice

[sequoia---sempervirens]

Bilbo Baggins, Sigismond Took and Adalgrim Took are childhood friends in my mind. And they remained really close like it was a brotherly kinda vibe.

[themistymountainscold]

i have to pause every-time bilbo fights to regain my composure 'cause god damn

[indelen]

When we first see them together Bilbo's like "so why weren't you at this elf party? Arwen was there! 😏" Like a sassy grandpa teasing you about the girl next door you like. It's terribly cute and hugely adds to Aragorn's loyalty to Frodo down the line.

was anyone going to tell me Aragorn was friends with Bilbo and helped him with his songs like a man visiting his gay peepaw at the senior center or did I have to read that in Fellowship myself?

[freebee303]

Okay I love looking through the wikis because I get certain information like this gem:

Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were Thorin’s Honour Guards.

Examples included Thorin showing up on Bilbos doorstep with (and getting crushed by) Bifur, Bofur and Bombur. And in the flaming pinecone scene they followed Thorin up the same tree to protect him.

Now this also makes sense in the movies mostly with how Bifur is seen helping Fili on his horse and other instances with the three, BUT MOST OF ALL MY FAVOURITE IDEA COMING FROM THIS!!!

Bofur was assigned to Bilbo by Thorin.

And yes I firmly believe in Bofur thinking Thorin’s a massive dick for how he treats Bilbo but he definitely shipped them from the moment Thorin ordered him to look out for Bilbo. Also explains why Bofurs always goin “WHERES BILBO MY BOSS IS GONNA FUCKIN KILL ME!”

[fantasyinallforms]

Kicks open the door holding a smoothie. Let's talk about how Thorin's first thought is almost always geared towards Bilbo's safety. Take the below, Smaug is on their tail, and he's about caught up. Thorin is forced to make a series of snap choices, all while his mind is slowly being taken over by gold sickness.

Right before this, he ordered Bombur to get the bellows working. There was only desperation and command in his voice. It bordered on harshness. The second after Smaug punches through the metal grate, Thorin calls Bilbo's name loudly and desperately. There's concern and gentleness lanced within it. His request? To pull a lever literally as far away from the dragon as possible in the room.

Bilbo is terrified! He's shaking and nervous right before this. Thorin literally reaches for him as far as his body will allow, well before he's within arm's reach. The caress his back and the long moment to watch him go. They're in the middle of being attacked right now. He has given orders to no one else other than Bombur. There's no time to spare on the field and yet...Thorin wanted one last touch, one last long look.

To top it all off, he doesn't even know if Bilbo can complete the task he's given! Bilbo is not tall enough to reach without jumping and it takes the full weight of his body to pull it down. Strategically it would have made more sense to send Nori or Bofur.

Not only does Thorin give him the job furthest away, but he gives him the only job with a built in way to protect himself. He puts him right by the water and puts himself right in front of Smaug, knowing he's the better target.

After everything crumbles, when Smaug is extinguished, Bilbo is also the only person that Thorin shouts at to make sure he's ok or to give him any direction. He says his name directly. One of the few times he calls Bilbo by his first name.

Even in the darkening of his mind, he cares for one person, one hobbit. Bilbo.

~~~~~

More deep dives like this can be found by searching the pinned tag #deep dive on my page ❤️

[noblecorgi]

Headcanon accepted.

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

[pyropixiesposts]

Bilbo's sneaks off in the marketplace, jumping from one sale stall to another gathering ingredients for tonight's roast. Thorin after losing him multiple times has recruited the help of dwalin. Bilbo doesn't seem to grasp the concept that he is the consort to the king and therefore shouldn't go around without protection and Bilbo will you please slow down I can't protect you if you keep LEAVING