#prose before hoes
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So this is something I found
twitter but for skaven
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#flawlesshuxley#lbawdyhouse#lunarfolk#music#gypsyfader#soundcloud#spotify#electronic#underground#musician#art#solo artist#poetry#prose before hoes#trashkerouac
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Godamn. Yeah it's kinda school shootery.
Which book is it.
things I didn't expect from WHF: Teclis kinda going school shooter
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Become the sun, you children searching for a beautiful horizon. Become a home, and you will find a heart willing to make the bare bones of your house a whole world infinite. Find comfort in the hands of a hugging love, that before calling you beautiful, calls you a friend.
#spilled ink#poets on tumblr#original poem#original poetry#poems and poetry#twcpoetry#writers#poets of tumblr#writerscreed#poeticstories#short prose poem#prose poem#sun#home#bare bones of your house#architecture#friendship before romance#bros before hoes#I think that’s how it’s supposed to go?#sufferingiscute
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Prose before hoes
- Neil Perry at some point probably
#dead poets society#dps#dps fandom#neil perry#anderperry#todd anderson#in love#love quotes#cuddles#dead poets headcanons#dead poets society fandom#dps headcanons#aww man#dead poets aesthetic#dead poets fandom#Spotify
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Ok but for the neighbors series, but if reader finds Matteo cheating on her…angst ensues…a certain gorgeous neighbor happens to be at her door again when she comes back upset 🫣( I need to read more angst to make the real life angst go away)
GETTING CHEATED ONNNNNN?!?! OHHHHHH YOU GUYS ARE SICK AND TWISTED…. i love it 😏
him being there for her… don’t do this to me 😫
i do have a small lil something i started writing for them thanks to @prose-before-hoes (it won’t let me tag you but you know ily 🖤) because it really takes just (1) person to say “do it” for me to… well… do it 🤭
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((These are early palette choices being mulled over for the character "Bucket Farce" by the highly super talented and incredible @lotus-start!!! This is his first game apparently??? I can't believe that. Everyone ever ask this wonderful person for help except leave space for me to do so sometime okay???
Bucket Farce is the OOC of Plot Twists and will be appearing for the first time in Purple Prose. He can be considered to be a kind of trickster or chaos god.)) """"""Hi hi hi hi hi hiya!"""""" Whammo. Got 'em in one, heh heh. Never let 'em predict your first move, that's what I always say JUST KIDDING! Pow! Got 'em again.
Six of me at once. Some people would call that a crying shame (like <a certain famous funnyman voice> mY wIFE) but you know you love it or, plot twist for ya, you're gonna. 1: "So which one of us is gonna take the lead?" 2: "I dunno, I thought you were." 3: "HE was? But I thought it was gonna be ME!" 4 (They Call Him...Mister Blue): "Pretty sure it's gonna be me and all y'alls are gonna frighten off the ladies. 5: "Pretty sure it's 'hoes' around these parts. Y'know, scaring the hoes, not good." 6 (Call Him Mister Less Blue): "Don't call them hoes! In this house! We! RESPECT WOMEN!" This could've gone on for a while if I wanted it. You guys don't really get it. I'm good at this kinda thing. Too good, even. My buddy ol pal ol friend always says, "Bucket, my good best buddy in the whole wide world," (imagine he says it but sadder, my pal, he's gotta get more Vitamin D), "you're too good at this. People do not like it. You should be singular like me." I'm singular. I'm lookin' to mingular, if you catch my drift. 4: "Okay but seriously. They're looking at us funny. This is too much. Humans, they don't like staring down at six different flavors of dude." 3: "Well it sure isn't going to be you, 4, aren't you an unlucky number?" 4: "I am? Where?" 2: "A beautiful country of some kind. Am I the only one who's done any of the homework before manifesting?" 1: "Mmmmmmmmmmmaybe." ^_^; 5: "I hate to see it (homework)." -_- 6: "Uh, wait, but guys, in fact, I shouldn't even be saying guys-" 4: <looking like he's starting to either see or be a bit of a snack> Is anyone else thinking of walking cheeseburgers? Or is it just me? I also just really, really think this is my color. What do we all think? 1, 2, 3, 5, 6: ............................................. I stood around in a circle, in formation, ignorant of you guys watching me because, to be honest, like, I'm a funny little guy, aren't I? If I'm not amusing you yet, I will. I'm just bein' a little silly. I clean up the mess I've made without blinking an eye or having a thought. I'm me. My nature is discerned precisely as I wish for it to be. I have a secret fundamental to the universe itself and they tell me it's a real doozy! Six of one, half dozen of the other, ultimately ultimately though... 4: <after a long silence> Yep. Just a silly little guy. We can call me...Mister Blue, no no no wait, I say in response to a withering glare and sigh from my friend, my buddy, the OOC of Endings you can't see him he's off camera. That guy is always being so serious, sigh, I get it. 4: Let's take this from the top! Hiya hiya hiya cuties! How's it going! My name is Bucket Farce! With that, I take a bow, deep down to the floor. I form my adorable face into the most profound expression I have observed on my way towards this weird little place with so many weird little people to do weird little things with. 4: Let's have fun together! :3 I promise nothing weird will happen at all!!! ------------------------------------------------- Kind of a rough idea. Still experimenting with how it feels to be around these guys. You'll all see some of that in the finished VN. Bucket Farce is someone for whom physicality and form are suggestions. He is a shapeshifter. The only rule he follows is that he must always have a head and that head is always covered in a bucket. I'll leave to your imagination what all that could mean but it does mean it is as nothing to him to be six people at once and to just as quickly be just one person.
He identifies as a 'he' but it is a shorthand and matter of convenience. In truth, he could be anything under the bucket and has just chosen to identify as a silly little guy as opposed to something boring or profound or difficult to explain. He is a cute character with some amazing sprites in store. I believe one inspiration was Dimentio and that Lotus has spent time in Sonic fan spaces as an artist. I believe that all shines through clearly here for a character I hope will be memorable when you all meet him. ^^ As always, stay tuned. I share as I get things to share and we're really picking up on the way towards the July 1st deadline for the jam.
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Sooooo uhhhh….. guess who liked the second game so much they immediately started playing the first after they finished >w>
Anywho I have first impressions of all the protags so far, from the perspective of someone who played the second game first!!
(TLDR: I’m enjoying the game so far,Cyrus is my favorite, and I dub my first four the sillies -w- )
(spoilers for the first chapters of everyone,and for a few mentions of Octopath 2 in here, nothing big for 2, just mentions of characters and chapter 1 tiny spoilers )
Ophilia- 7th in the party
“Que the first shakesphere reference!”
.She’s so wholesome and sweet I love her;w; she’s like a warm presence in her snowy town and I love that for her!! I adore her design and can’t wait to draw it sometime~ it feels really weird hearing the cleric actually and genuinely praise the sacred flame after all my time with Temenos though- I also adore her relationship with her sister it’s so fluffy and wholesome-w-. Overall can’t wait to see more of her!
Cyrus- 3rd in the party
“Prose before Hoes”
He’s my favorite so far- up until his chapter I was wondering why everyone around the protags had an accent and then we reached him and went “HE’S BRITISH *insert keyboard spam*” he’s so silly and goofy and I love his story so far, it intrigues me (´▽`) (I love a good mystery) also he’s an Aro king from my impressions so far, and I love that for him!!
Therion- Protag
“Purple shadow the edgehog”
He’s giving tries to be tough, but in reality he’s a chihuahua . My Boyfriend said I should chose him as my protagonist , because of the purple chests and I do think that was an excellent idea, because he is carrying my party strategy with steal Sp rn - I think he is also very silly, in a way that he tries so hard to be edgy kinda way- also his laugh is very goofy and chuni, I quite enjoy it! His story also interests me, I wanna see more of his edgy rouge backstory! Also I find it funny both games have thieves with the T spot, that are also purple-
Olberic- 5th in the party
“Oh he has lots of baggage-“
His story seems like it’s gonna be sad so far- my guess is he’s gonna be the party dad, as his father figure- son relationship with Phillip is really sweet;w; I hope we get to see more~I’m intrigued in his relationship with Erhardt because there is SO much tension there too…… I love a good agnsty lovers to enemies, and that’s the vines they give, so much angst (that would make two warriors who have a “comrade/best friend” who betrayed them:( ) ! Overall, I think his vibes are “gentle giant, but will not hesitate violence”!
Primrose- 6th in the party
“ insert everytime I said a variant of “gross” or my jaw dropped in her first chapter”
Primrose needs happiness……. It’s interesting to see how similar her type of revenge is to Osvald’s, yet different. I feel like she’s gonna be as a flirt as a coping mechanism and…… I just want her to eventually become happy, the way people treated her in her first chapter was so awful. I gagged almost every time she was called “kitten” (ew I hate quoting that), and the one person that did treat her with kindness was killed in front of her eyes for it- her “Master, go pleasure yourself line.” was really good though! Overall, rooting for her to get her revenge!! (Also I really like her design it’s so pretty-w-)
Alfyn- 4th in the party
“He’s just a normal guy!”
I love how normal he is, like seriously he’s just a sweet guy, and for that I dub him silly! If Therion is a chihuahua, he’s a golden retriever, and I love his whole wholesome story vibes in general! He’s probably gonna be in my top 4 by the end of the game- I love wholesome characters……. And green ones- also Zeph totally has a crush on him that he’s completely oblivious to (´▽`) can’t wait to see more of his chill and wholesome vibes!
Tressa- 2nd in the party
“Who is this sassy lost child?”
She’s giving stubborn little sister vibes, and I am HERE for it! Her story seems super adorable so far too! Also love a good back twice a character’s size (gosh that’s gonna be a pain to make/ find when I cosplay her._.) speaking of her bag….. is that thing a bag of holding? How did she carry that barrel to the cave ?!??! Overall 10/10 character can’t wait to see her bickering with Therion in their travel banters, I’m theorizing they’re gonna act like siblings 030
H’aanit- 8th in the party
“Que the other Shakesphere reference”
I love how they used Shakespearian English for her! I actually quite enjoy reading/ the performing of Shakespeare, and I wonder if they’ll use Shakespearian themes in her story. The rhythm of her speech is close to the rhythm of Shakespeare without sounding unnatural, because she’s not actually a Shakespeare character, I can’t wait to see more of it (I’m also hoping perhaps she may call someone a sponge for the full Shakespeare experience -). Anywho, enough of my geeking out about Shakespeare, what interests me about her story is her somber theme. I don’t know what has happened to her master so far, but I’m wondering if this will be a tragedy based on it’s bitter sweetness. Also love how eloquent her voice is, it was a pleasant surprise!
Anywho that’s all for now! Sorry for the long post, and if you’ve read this far thank you! Now I’m gonna go get back to work on my art and stuff for awhile-
#octopath traveler#ophilia clement#cyrus albright#therion#olberic eisenberg#primrose azelhart#alfyn greengrass#tressa colzione#h’aanit#octopath
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20 questions writer meme
I stole this. Feel free to steal it too if you want.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
37
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
364,141
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Yugioh DM and Tales of! Mostly Symphonia and formerly Crestoria (rip).
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Darling Lagomorph (crestoria) at 155 Weltschmerz (symphonia) at 133 Philosophy of a Knife (ygodm) at 94 Fear's Ascent (crestoria) at 83 Have You Seen Me? (crestoria) at 78
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I really struggle with this to be honest, if I get a really long comment or someone saying the fic was really impactful I try to respond but honestly I usually just leave it and reply elsewhere if I know the author unless someone is actually asking something/wants more info about something. This is basically just because I'm busy but also in part due to my old dA fame (bleh) getting me in the bad habit of never replying to anything.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably In the arms of the heretic (ygodm) that fic really means a lot to me though and I think because of the premise it worked.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I'd have to say Absurdities and Echoes (symphonia) poor Zelos deserves it after everything else I put him through in that series. Sorry about your ring finger.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've gotten a couple rude comments but it's basically been curbed ever since I turned off guest comments on my works. You can say it with accountability or not at all. Most recently I got a moralizing comment from someone about Ryou being 16 in Philosophy because of the smut that kind of had implications I didn't like but that's about it.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I used to write a lot of crestoria smut on my alt account (IYKYK) but I will sometimes include it as a framing device to develop character relationships. There's quite a bit of smut in Philosophy for example because loneliness and isolation are such big themes for Ryou and Bakura, but generally if I post something with smut to my main account it's because it's relevant to the story or develops the character relationships.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have a proper Symphonia/Crestoria crossover in the works that's a continuation of TOC game canon, but I've been at a standstill with my Tales works lately so it's pretty far off from being posted unfortunately. But I hope you guys give a chance once it's up, because the lore is SUPER cool.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
A certain someone who knows who they are has either plagiarized or bastardized lines from some of my popular crestoria works but other than that no.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not yet but it would be cool!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Charles and I did a collab PITY // PIETY earlier this year and it absolutely slaps! Luisa and I are also working on an art/fic collab right now that I hoe to have posted by the end of the year but we'll see... sometimes life has other plans.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Zelloyd's gotta take the cake for this one sorry fam. When it's been your otp for 15 years nothing can ever top it. But for yugioh it's a tie between thief/tender/angst I like any combo of those three.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I try to finish everything I start, but I've got a couple Tales WIPs that I'm having trouble finding the spark for. It's not that I don't think they'll ever be finished, but it might be a while until they see the light of day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I really succeed when it comes to imagery and descriptive prose, plus getting inside characters' heads. I want to make people feel things with my work. I think the reason Philosophy and Darling Lagomorph are some of my best and most popular is because they're an opportunity for me to show off those strengths where I excel most.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
World building. I hate doing infodumps but I really struggle to include lore in ways that don't come off that way. This is a big reason I've never made the dive into original fiction (for now, I'm in the planning stages for my first novel. Stay tuned.)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
The only time I've ever done it is when writing Yuna from Crestoria because she includes random french in canon too. I also did a french title for the latest chapter of Philosophy which was kind of fun. I think it's something you can swing if you're prepared to do your research but if not, avoid avoid avoid.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Tales of Symphonia. The things I put Zelos through, man. If you think I'm bad now you should have seen me at 14.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
If I had to choose just one probably Philosophy of a Knife, because like I said earlier, I get to combine all of my strengths into something I feel really proud of. I think I picked the perfect time in my "writing career", so to speak, to work on it because I feel like the writing style is very cohesive and it seems to have resonated with a lot of people so far, which makes me very happy. I hope you guys continue to enjoy my work going forward!
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STEPHEN is so hott I'd kiss with him you bring us total snacks 😩!!
YAY SOME LOVE FOR MY CAFE NOIR CHARACTERS!! Thank you sm anon!! 😊 I'm taking this chance to give a couple facts about Steph + a little doodle I just finished
He is a werewolf, and he is the alpha of his pack (and also the manager of the bookstore his pack works at, Prose Before Hoes!)
He is Tobi's adoptive older brother (Stephen's family adopted Tobi when he was 6)
Stephen served in the military after high school, and that's where he met Corbin
#stephen#stephen adams#captainsadist#gamedev#cptsadist#oc#cafe noir#cafe noir dating sim#cafe noir vn#ask cptsadist#werewolf#werewolf oc
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TAGS! sorry to anyone it wouldn't let me :( @mingiast @iluvurfather @cavillscurls @sofiparallel @elegantduckturtle @evyiione @bitchwitch1981 @disassociation-daydreams @mrsquill @littlemisssluttyknee @kamcrazy123 @huffle-punk @djarins-wife @lovelyladiess @impossiblebluebirdchaos @salsdemise @daddy-din @chaotic-mystery @laughcryreadsmutrepeat @prose-before-hoes-blog @kikitxt @morgaussy @thepriceofdevotion @chateausophie @livyjh @dbfbuckyslut @kittenlittle24 @ever-siince-new-york @julietamidala @aroace69420 @jade-wnt @3xclusive-y0ni @emmdog2999 @paanchusblog @okdeedee @scarletsloveletter @paleidiot @cleopatra99 @samuncenxsored @yourfavoriteredheadbitch-blog @brie-annwyl @spxctorsslxt @pattwtf @meijasworldasf @p4scalr @butiknewyoudlinger @easaud @yuk-for-president @withrice-ontoast @ssssc0m
sensational; part ii
6.8k | joel miller x f!innocent!reader follow-up to sensational
summary: you've tasked joel with teaching you about all of the things you missed. he's back for more...teaching moments. warnings: smut (duh), 18+, mdni. softdom!joel vibes in this one, joel gives reader an anatomy lesson, pet names (lots of dollface) fingering, praise kink to the gods, masturbation (f and brief m), reader gives joel a hand(y), grinding, bit of a corruption kink toward the end, jesus there might need to be a part 3 note: well. look at what you guys did. you went and loved on sensational so much and asked for a part 2 so often that i just had to grant your wishes. i hope you’re fckn happy✌🏼🥹 (this is all jokes i’m so excited to write more of this dynamic teehee)
You'd never counted yourself as a dreamer of any sort; when sleep clouded your brain at night, every thought faded along with it. Aside from the occasional nightmare, reminding you of your parents' absence, you hadn't had an actual dream since you were a kid.
Of course, that night in Joel's house had changed everything, in every possible way. In just an hour or so he had taken your world into his hands, shaped it, flipped it, and returned it to you, unrecognizable. His name was carved into everything you saw and touched, and this included your dreams.
He was everywhere in your head when you slept. So much so that you'd begun to forget which was reality and which was a figment of your imagination, which made your patrols with him all the more humiliating.
Your hands were cold. It was all you could focus on as you followed Joel along your normal patrol route. Just twelve hours had passed since that night in his house, when he'd touched you with rough hands and what taught you what it meant to feel desired. His words still rang clear in your head days later:
Trust me, doll. I've got so much more to teach you.
It sent your head reeling just to think about it now. The memory of his fingertips grazing the side of your face as he'd said it, those brown eyes sparkling with desire for you—a vision of contentment.
You had leaned into his touch subconsciously, reaching a hand up to trace the line of his wrist. His eyes had darted to where your fingers pressed to his skin, a soft grin replacing his satisfied smirk. "I'd better get you home, then," he'd whispered.
It had taken everything in you to ignore the small pang of disappointment that had bloomed in your gut, but it was an easier task when he'd dropped his lips to your forehead.
"No one'll miss me at home," you'd protested quietly, trying not to relish too much in the feeling of his beard scratching at the space between your eyebrows.
This sentiment was true. You still didn't know how things had worked out so well, but after arriving in Jackson, Tommy (the fact that it was Joel's younger brother made this seem all the less coincidental) and Maria had been more than accommodating. They'd offered you your own space, a house to yourself. Granted, it was much smaller than Joel's, but it was your own. It had become home in the four short years you'd lived in Jackson.
No one was waiting for you at home. It was a fact that used to make your throat close up, memories taunting you every moment they could. Now it was a welcomed thought, if it meant that you could remain in the heady presence of Joel Miller.
But he'd only shaken his head, his brown eyes flitting down to your lips before returning to your gaze. "I'm sure they'll notice when you don't come strolling out of your own place in the mornin'," he'd insisted gently. His thumb traced your bottom lip when your shoulders slumped. You hoped you didn't look as pitiful as you felt, your lip threatening to push outward in a pout.
"Might not be able to keep my hands to myself tonight if I let you stay," he'd breathed. You didn't care if he said it as an apology, or if it was actually true.
Because who were you to disagree with him? It was Joel.
So without more than a lingering hand on your wrist, he'd walked you to your door. When you'd teased him for such a chivalrous act, he'd cocked an eyebrow, glancing sideways at you. "Can't just let you walk home alone after that," he'd scoffed, his voice rough again in the outdoors. A few people were still milling about despite it being darker than pitch after nightfall. "M'not a complete scoundrel," he said with a wry grin.
Your front door always looked so inviting, a place for you to take a breath and relax after a long day. In that moment, it was taking everything in you to put one foot in front of the other and return to your own place.
"Scoundrel," you'd mused, hoping the amusement in your voice covered the way you leaned back with every step, as if you could claim one more touch of his body—arm, chest, shoulder—to send you to bed with nothing but him on your mind. "Kind of a big word, wouldn't you say?" you'd teased him, just as he'd done to you. "Sure you know what it means?"
The twitch of his jaw was enough of a reward for your attempt at humor, but your satisfied smirk had been wiped clean off your face when he'd darted a glance around before leaning in, hovering just centimeters from your face.
It occurred to you in that moment that you'd truly only kissed him once. A shame, a voice in your head sighed. His lips were devastatingly plump, even in the darkness.
Joel had stayed there, his eyes tearing down to your mouth before warning you in that deliciously low baritone, "I know what it is. Best get inside," his jaw twitched once more and you caught him clenching and unclenching his fists, "'fore I show you what it means to be a scoundrel."
You'd gone inside with a shaky breath and the return of that familiar pulse that, it seemed, only he knew how to ignite.
—
Joel chose not to look in the mirror when he'd gone home that night. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stand the way his hair was undoubtedly wild, his eyes hard with desire, and his hands still aching with the memory of her squirming body in his lap.
After four years of near silence, this girl had unraveled him. After all those days on patrol with her, nothing to do except look at her when she wouldn't notice, Joel Miller had been undone.
The next day, waking up early with the stiffness in his boxers begging to be dealt with, Joel spit on his palm and wrapped it around his cock, releasing a sigh. Fuck's sake, he thought with a groan. Can't hardly get a full night's sleep anymore.
It should have annoyed him; it was certainly an inconvenience. But if it meant that he'd get to spend more time thinking about her body and her lips and her eyes when she asked those incessant questions, then so be it. He'd never sleep another wink and be glad for it.
It didn't take long for his release to come, not when the memories of her whines were so fresh in his mind. To think that he'd had her on his lap, hips squirming in that way that only she knew...it was enough to make him—"A grown fuckin' man," he reminded himself—spill into his hands and draw ragged breaths into his lungs to recover.
With an arm thrown across his face, he latched onto the image of her in the heat of ecstasy, her eyelids fluttering shut and her lips wet from constantly biting them.
For a moment, he tried to rein himself in. Can't be doin' this, he'd thought while getting ready for patrol that morning. Don't wanna take advantage of her, or fuck her up cause of my inability to control my own desires.
In reality, he'd considered, did she really know what she was getting herself into? With little more knowledge than the mechanics of reproduction, it had been evident with the events of the previous night that she knew nothing of what pleasure could be. Did he really want to be responsible for her discovery of such things?
But when he went to the stables an hour later and saw her standing in the snow with an extra twinge in her grin and her eyes sparkling despite the echoes of fatigue in her irises, every doubt dissipated immediately. He pretended not to notice the way her eyes lingered on his back when they saddled up, heading out of Jackson for the day.
Joel Miller was never one to deny a woman in need. Why should he have stopped now?
—
"How'd you sleep?"
When you looked over at him, almost shocked that he'd broken the silence, your eyebrow quirked up. "Fine," you answered.
It wasn't that this patrol had been disappointing, it was just...ever since you'd left Jackson that morning, you'd been waiting for him to look at you like he had the night before, or to even acknowledge you in the way that you could still remember him doing.
Maybe it was because Tommy was nearby at the time, or maybe he'd changed his mind after all. Maybe you'd overstepped, asking a man so much older than you to teach you all of this. Maybe it hadn't happened at all—your dreams were rather convincing these days.
If it hadn't been for those girls, hell-bent on making you feel ostracized, perhaps you wouldn't have landed yourself in this position. You probably wouldn't have had any reason to be curious about what it all meant, and you could have gone on in comfortable silence with him on your patrols.
With a heavy mind, you blew out a breath. If it hadn't been for those girls, though—you never would have known the creases that sank into the corners of his eyes when he grinned at you.
Beside you, having held back to come up shoulder-to-shoulder, Joel huffed. "Bullshit, darlin'," he scoffed, casting a sideways glance in your direction.
You tightened your hands on the reins. "Excuse me?" you said sharply.
His chuckle was a soft rumble in his chest, and you ached to feel it against your back. "I saw those sleepy eyes at the stables," he crooned, the corners of his eyes crinkling just like you remembered. "Looks like someone didn't get a good night's sleep."
"Oh, and I'm just supposed to believe you slept like a damn baby, then?" You couldn't help the incredulity in your tone, but you blushed when you noticed him smirking, his lips twitching as he fought a smile away.
"'Course not," he shook his head almost dismissively. "Couldn't tell my brain to stop conjurin' pictures of you shakin' in my lap." He adjusted the way he was seated on his horse, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was getting hard at the reminder of the memory.
You, in a similar vein, were trying to ignore the unmistakable feel of heat puddling between your legs. Keeping your eyes forward, you asked, "Is that a good thing?"
Joel nodded. "A very good thing, dollface. You were so good for me last night."
Any air that had been in your lungs left in a rush, and you put a hand to your cheek, warm despite the winter's wind. You thought you heard yourself whine at the sound of the pet name.
Thankfully, he didn't say or do anything to show that he'd noticed. Instead, he tugged his horse to a stop. "Let's get down here," he said. "Walk and talk, yeah?"
The thought of walking beside him after all that had happened the night before was enough to make you freeze in your saddle, suddenly unsure of how to get down. "Yeah," you mumbled, if only to fill the silence.
You could hear the crunch of snow under his boots as he came up beside you, thick gloved hands reaching for your waist. "C'mon, darlin'," he'd insisted, "I won't bite."
There was a note of irony in his tone, and you let him pull you from your saddle, landing in the snow in front of him. Your jacket snagged against his, and you stood there for a moment, letting your frosty wisps of breath coil and furl with his. "What do you mean?" you asked, cursing your ever-present confidence when it came to asking him questions. It seemed that you'd never learn to hold your tongue.
"Hmm?" he hummed in response. "What's what mean?" He stepped away from you to grab the reins in his hand and began to walk forward in the snow.
You shook your head and pushed on, stumbling after him. When did the snow get so deep? "You sounded rather..." you trailed off, searching for the word.
"Oh, here it comes," he mused in that serious tone, hardly covering the teasing lilt that rang clear in his eyes. "Bet you're coming up with a big word right about now, huh?"
You couldn't help it when you rolled your eyes and swatted a hand at the back of his arm. "I was going to say you sounded smug," you finished. "About how you won't bite?"
There it was again. That look of slight surprise at your questions. You waited for a few moments, the two of you trudging along in the snow, before he answered quietly. "We're jumpin' ahead of ourselves, but I s'pose it won't hurt." He shrugged. "Some people like it. Biting."
You furrowed your eyebrows. "Like it?" You looked down at your hands, covered in thick gloves. "Doesn't it hurt?"
Joel smirked. "It can," he considered, "if the person gettin' bitten wants it like that." He brushed your arm with his. "But some people don't like it at all. Just depends."
You braved a look up at his face and swallowed roughly, feeling your core pulse at the sight of his rosy cheeks. "Does it have to hurt?" You didn't mean to sound so desperate; you were just curious. "I mean, is it like...like a real bite?"
It happened so quickly that you hardly had a moment to process. Joel stopped in his tracks, pulled you near, and dipped his head down to your ear. "Don't have to," he murmured, and you were just starting to quiver at the feel of his voice next to your ear when he was brushing your hair from your neck and grazing his teeth against your skin. "Can feel good, if the person doin' the biting knows how."
You couldn't help the hand that shot out to grab his arm, as if it were the only thing that might hold you up. "I'm assuming you know how," you said thickly, eyes wandering on his weathered face. Funny, you thought at the sight of his grin, he looks quite young like this.
Joel shifted his arm so he could squeeze your hand once with his before letting it go. "Don't boost my ego too high, sweetcheeks," he warned, but you could hear the humor in his voice. "Might never let go if you do."
You knew he was kidding, but the prospect that he was being serious made your stomach flutter and forced you to clench your thighs together, bringing the forefront of your attention back to the frustration that was pooling between your legs. "Joel," you muttered in a whine, not quite realizing you'd said it until he was looking at you with a twinge of concern.
"What's up, doll?" he asked, slowing to a stop. "Somethin' wrong?"
A curly tendril of his graying hair was blown into his face with the winter wind, and you wished you could brush it away with your fingers like he'd done just moments ago. "I..." you inhaled deeply, and shifted your weight. "I'm..."
It took him a moment to understand, and when he did, his eyes sparkled. "Oh, doll," he cooed, reaching forward to tug you closer to him. "Need something', huh?"
You leaned your head forward until your forehead rested against him, breathing in the scene of pine and old leather and that heady musk that was utterly Joel. Nodding into his strong chest, you brought your hand up to his wrist and tugged it down, down, down...there.
Joel's large hand cupped the mound between your legs and you swallowed harshly as it pulsed again, begging for the sweet release he'd given you the night before. "Fuck," he breathed, the vibrations of his voice rolling against your skin. "Shoulda told me you were this bothered, baby," he hummed.
You lifted your head. "I've been trying," you said in a pitiful whine, although this wasn't entirely true, and he knew it. "Why does it...why do I ache so bad?"
His smirk quivered, and his pupils were suddenly huge as he withdrew his hand from where it covered your heat, exposing it to the frigid winter air once more. "I think we've gone far enough, don't you?" he winked. "Think we may as well head back."
The implications of what would happen when you got back to Jackson made your head spin. Nodding feverishly, you let go of the twinge of embarrassment at your eagerness. "Yes, please," you hiccuped.
His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. "Good," he murmured.
—
This was the worst possible outcome.
Just when you'd worked up to exactly where you wanted to be with Joel, with his hands on you and his intentions leading you back to his house (and hopefully his couch), Tommy stopped you at the stables.
Well, not you. Not you at all, actually. He stalked up to his older brother and said, Meeting at my place, Joel."
He'd just gotten down from his saddle to help you do the same and was letting his hands linger on your waist when the interruption happened. With his hungry eyes locked on yours, he'd been leaning into your touch and hovering his hands just inches from your heat.
You could have sworn he jumped out of his skin at the sound of Tommy's voice; you just hoped it was because of his infamous hearing loss on his ride side and decidedly not because he'd been caught standing so close to you.
"We just had a meeting last week," he said gruffly, his eyes still searching yours. For what, you weren't sure—but you were quickly growing addicted to finding those rare flecks of gold buried in the espresso brown seas reflected back at you. His hands clenched involuntarily, and given the fact that they were resting around your hips, you got a delicious lick of pleasure that shot through your pelvis at the sensation.
Tommy didn't seem to be in the mood for dawdling. "And now we're having one this week," he insisted. "My place. Maria and the others are waiting."
You lifted your chin to see him close his eyes in annoyance. His mouth opened once; he closed it. When he opened it again, his eyes flashed along with the movement. "Alright, I'll be there in a minute," he said tersely, and you pretended not to notice the way his gloved thumb rubbed a slow circle on your hip. An apology, perhaps.
When he didn't move, you blushed with smug satisfaction. It had never been more clear that he didn't want to move.
"Joel, it's important." Usually, you'd never had an issue with Tommy. Now, of course, the sound of his voice clawed at your every hope for tonight.
With a soft look at your lips, Joel jerked his head to look at his brother. "I said give me a fuckin' minute," he said, his words clipped. "Fuck's sake," he muttered as he turned around. "Just answerin' a goddamn question," he finished, soft enough that you were sure his brother couldn't hear.
Tommy grumbled his fair share of disapproving words, but you couldn't help the grateful bubble that bloomed in your gut when you heard the shuffle of his boots as he left you alone in the stables with Joel.
He waited a moment or two before letting out a soft sigh. You couldn't have known how disappointed he was, but the way he lifted a hand to your cheek was clue enough. "New lesson, dollface," he said.
A pang of regret hit your stomach and you found yourself shaking your head. "Please?" you asked in a quiet voice. "I don't want a new lesson."
Joel grinned and sucked in a sharp breath. "I know, baby, I know." The familiar phrase threw you back to the night before, when he'd had his hands all over you, reassuring you with those exact words. But now, it wasn't a comfort. "But if I'm not around and you need to feel good..." His hand trailed down your cheek, brushed against your chest and returned to its previous spot between your legs. "I want you to practice touchin' yourself, yeah?"
His voice had become a near-painful whisper, just loud enough for you to feel rather than hear his words caress your skin. "This of me all you want, darlin'. God knows I'll be thinkin' of you at this damn...meeting," he practically spat the last word, but it didn't take away from the pressure that was building and causing you to blink rapidly. "Think about me," he repeated, "but I want you to explore this pretty body for me so you can tell me all about it when I get back."
The sound of his voice enveloped you, that heady sensation nearly making your knees give out. With a slow nod, you couldn't see yourself ever disobeying him. Not when he asked such sinful things of you.
"Okay," you whispered. "I'll try."
His mouth was in a hard line, his irritation at Tommy's interruption still prevalent. But it softened for a moment when he slid a gloved thumb over your bottom lip, letting it get pulled from its place before bouncing back. You darted your tongue out, wetting your lip in a desperate attempt to taste his leather on your skin; to taste him.
"Good," he said softly. Something new pulsed at the sound of his praise, but you fought it down. "I'll see you soon, doll."
—
Despite everything you tried when you got home—despite squeezing your eyes shut and picturing that dimple in Joel's cheek when he smirked, or the way his arms felt when wrapped around you—nothing helped. The pressure remained, the ache between your legs was ever-present, and yet...
You couldn't give yourself the release you craved. Not like Joel could.
There was no telling how long you tried, hand shoved down your pants in a sour attempt to replicate the feeling he'd given you. Your fingers were clumsy, untrained, and entirely new to the task, leaving you desperate and unsatisfied. A strangled whine left your throat when your mind flashed with the memory of his face near yours, his lips on your own, and his rough hands rubbing that small bud at your center. It was maddening.
He'd asked you to do this one thing, and you couldn't deliver. Of course, you'd never even realized this was a possibility; you'd only ever heard of men bringing themselves to the plummeting precipice of pleasure. You never considered that you could do the same.
But you didn't want to make yourself feel good. You wanted Joel to do it.
After what felt like hours, stuck in your house alone, Joel nowhere to be found, and with your hopes slipping into despair, you gave up. Your fingers would never be as rough or as thick as his. You didn't know how to explore your body when you couldn't tip yourself over the edge to ecstasy; it was impossible.
Weary and defeated, you went to bed with a groan. Joel still hadn't shown up. Either it was a long meeting, or...you didn't want to entertain the thought that he'd possibly forgotten about you. About your task to be completed.
You actually did drop off into a dreamless sleep, but when you woke to the sound of a knock at your door, you were almost positive the dreams had begun again. Swinging your legs out of bed, you trudged to the door with sleep oozing in every movement. The door opened with a click, and you blinked.
"Sorry I'm late, sweetcheeks," Joel breathed. A distant streetlamp, the only one in Jackson, was the sole source of light that illuminated the edges of his broad body on your porch. He looked near-angelic.
You didn't say anything for a moment, only crossed your arms to keep yourself warm in the face of the wintry outdoors. The relief and anticipation at seeing him here paired with the disappointment and fatigue that it had taken so long warred with each other, creating a dangerous mix as you managed to say, "Are you...hungry? Or something?"
He swallowed, and your head swam with the desire to lay your tongue flat on his neck where his Adam's apple bobbed. "Starving," he groaned, and in one step he was not only in your house but he was all over you, and you were wearing nothing but your thin pajamas.
He'd apparently already taken off his gloves, and when his hand came up to cup your cheek your body registered the chill of his fingers with a shock, despite leaning into his touch all the same. He took a moment to look at you before touching his forehead to yours, pressing his lips to yours gently. You could practically taste the restraint on his mouth, and you wanted nothing more than to beg him for everything.
Something about your face must have given it away when he pulled back because he tapped a finger against your cheek. "You look like you need somethin'." He darted a look down to your legs. "Did you do what I asked?"
You weren't sure what made you lie, but you nodded nonetheless. "Uh-huh."
Even in the dark, he was so close to you that you could see his eyebrow lift in question. You didn't know how he knew, but why wouldn't he? This was Joel. "You didn't come," he concluded, and you ducked your head. "Why not, dollface? I thought I told you to."
The implication that his request was, in fact, a command, didn't slip your mind. Your cheeks burned when you forced yourself to look at him. "I couldn't. I don't know how."
"Sure you do," he whispered. "You did real good last night for me, remember?" His lips ghosted your jaw.
You shook your head. "I don't know how. I've never...made myself come."
When Joel looked at you, you could have sworn his lips twitched, betraying the desire in his movements. "I'm sorry, babydoll," he cooed, bringing his other hand to your cheek. He slotted his lips over yours once more, and it was all you could do not to sink to the floor right there. "We'll have to fix that, won't we?"
You nodded. "Show me? Please?"
Without another word he bent to brush his lips across your hairline—you could have sworn you felt him inhale with his nose in your hair—and murmured, "In the morning, yeah?"
You pulled away to complain but he only gave you a soft smile. It was then that you could see the exhaustion in his face, eyes downturned despite those creases winking at you in the darkness. "But—"
"Told Tommy you need a day off," he clarified. "'Cause you're...sore..." he splayed his hand on your back and tugged you near, voice low. "Ya know, from all that horseback ridin'."
An anticipatory chuckle bubbled from your chest. "No way he bought that," you said breathlessly as he nipped your jawline with his teeth (you were almost sure it was supposed to be a kiss). "I've been patrolling on horseback for years."
Joel shrugged and looked down at you with a smirk. "Who knows? Maybe I should have told him you were waiting for me to come home and make you fall apart on my fingers," he said dismissively, but his tone did nothing to stop your stomach from flipping.
"Oh," you said dumbly, cursing yourself inwardly for how easily you were rendered speechless in his presence. "He'll...he'll really let us take the day off?" Your mind swam with the possibilities of what you could do with an entire day.
He shook his head. "Not us, darlin'. Just you." Tracing the line of your jaw, his lips twisted into a dry smirk. "I'll have to go tomorrow. But," he whispered, squeezing a hand on your hip and cocking an eyebrow at the way your legs wobbled," I'd gladly go every morning all by myself if it meant you were in your bed all day, daydreamin' about me."
It was a heavier confession that you'd expected out of him, and you let out a breathy sigh. "In the morning then," you asked. You swallowed roughly in an attempt to push down the lump of pure need that had risen in your chest, but to no avail.
Joel nodded firmly. "Trust me," he hummed, "in the morning."
So you'd led him to your bed with no more discussion. It hadn't occurred to you that he might not stay the night; he'd come to your place after the meeting like he'd said, and it was the middle of the night. Why wouldn't he have stayed the night?
Despite everything in you fighting to stay awake, the second you returned to your mattress and pulled the covers up, your eyelids drooped. Joel stood at the end of the bed and shed his jacket slowly. "Sleep, doll," he said, his voice echoing in the otherwise silent room as he bent to kick off his boots. "I'll be here when you wake up."
—
Was he getting too close? Was he pushing the boundaries too far, too soon? Probably.
Selfishly, Joel didn't much care.
—
Sure enough—when morning came, when the dull winter sunlight crept into your house and draped the floor in soft yellow, you felt the dip of your mattress beside you and betrayed Joel's presence. He'd stayed. Like he said.
Quite the dedicated teacher, you thought to yourself with a satisfied warmth. You'd felt him climb into bed last night, but despite your every wish for him to press himself to your back and hold you tightly the whole night, he'd kept at least a foot of space between your bodies. Always close enough to touch, but never giving in.
You rolled over and swiped a hand over your face, a few stray strands falling into your eyes. The breath left your chest when you saw him there, eyes open and waiting for you. "Hi," you said, your voice rough with sleep. Again with the monosyllabic responses, you scolded yourself.
Joel hummed, the deep rumble of his voice reverberating through the mattress and into your body. "Looked so sweet like that, darlin'," he mused, his rough hands tucked under his head. He reached one of them toward you and tapped your bottom lip, plump with sheep, with two of his fingertips. "Didn't wanna wake you up."
"You didn't." You weren't sure what made you do it, but you moved closer, shifting your entire body until your nose almost brushed his. Your eyes flitted up to look at the way his graying hair laid messily around the crown of his head, haircuts neglected for who knew how long. "Can we...I want to start now," you mumbled.
His jaw ticked, and he looked like he was swallowing down a grin. "Look at you," he cooed, "so eager. Aren't you hungry, doll?"
You bit your lip and you could have sworn you saw his eyes widen. "Starving," you fumbled over the word, imitating his response to you the night before on your porch.
Joel let go of a chuckle and his eyes danced with mirth. "Always turnin' my words back on me, aren't ya?" When you nodded sheepishly, he slid his hand around to cup the back of your head and he pulled you in, connecting his lips with yours. "Okay, pretty girl," he said. "We'll start. Since you asked so nicely."
His lips were chapped from the cold weather but they were still soft as he pressed them to yours, moving lazily as the two of you blinked away the last clutches of sleep. "Always so soft, these lips," he murmured, and then his hand was moving from your neck to your chest. "Everyone's different, yeah? There's these spots on everyone's body," he said, absentmindedly drawing swirls along the expanse of your chest, making you shiver. "Let's call them...pleasure points."
"Pleasure points," you repeated breathlessly, your stomach fluttering as he rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "Is that—"
He grinned with a nod. "Think I just found one of 'em, doll." He rolled you onto your back and bent his head down, his breath fanning over your chest and warming you through your thin pajama shirt. "This is how we get you all ready for me, when the time comes."
You nodded quietly and let out a shaky sigh as his hands wandered. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you practically preened at the feeling of his lips against your skin while his hands squeezed and caressed your breasts, moving over your stomach. "Joel—"
He paused, hand hovering over the hem of your shirt. "What, babygirl?"
You couldn't help the whine that fought its way out of your throat. "Please," you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut at the pressure that writhed in your core.
Joel's fingers lifted the hem of your shirt, his mouth widening in a grin at the way that your stomach rose and fell in spattered pants. "Come on, darlin'," he crooned, "open those pretty eyes for me. Gotta see you, doll."
It was all you could do not to take his hand in your own and shove it to your core where you needed him desperately, but you did as he asked.
"That's it, baby," he breathed, good girl."
You'd become familiar with the way your stomach clenched at his use of pet names, but this was new. You had done well for him. You wanted to stay that way. "Will you touch me please? I need—"
"So eager," he murmured, leaning in with his lips to your earlobe. "Lemme take my time with you, dollface." And then his lips were wrapping to the soft part of your ear, his teeth grazing at your skin. Paired with this sensation and the heady feeling of his hand on your waistband, fumbling to push his hand beneath it, you arched your back and released a series of high-pitched whines.
"JoelJoelJoelpleasepleaseplease," you were overcome with the pure, unbridled need that was speeding through your body like a tidal wave on a summer day.
"Alright, darlin', alright," he acquiesced, pushing his hand into your waistband and pulling it down over your hips. You didn't even have the mind to be shy about being laid bare to him this way; you just needed him to touch you.
Before you could beg him again, he had his fingertip on your core, sliding it gently through your slick heat. "Oh, baby," he groaned, rutting his hips against your side. His bulge pressed into your hip and you flexed your fingers to reach for it. "M'never gettin' used to how wet you are for me," his voice shook.
One finger became two, and then his fingertips were rubbing sweet circles to your sensitive bud, drawing near pornographic moans to tumble past your lips. "Can I touch you, please?" you begged, your hand fisting your bedsheets. "Wanna touch you, Joel, please."
He hummed against your ear as he swiped another finger against your bud and lifted your hand to his lips. "Sure thing, doll," he said, and placed it in his hair. Your fingers instinctually carded through the coarse strands, and you blushed when his eyes fluttered closed. "Hold on tight if you need to, pretty girl," he grinned, and lemme know if it's too much."
You were going to ask if what was too much, but then he dipped his finger further down your core, notching it at the small opening. You hadn't even thought this far ahead, that things would eventually lead here. Something pulsed and you whined, tugging his hair in your hand.
"Look at you, so ready for me," he murmured against your neck. His tongue swept out to lick a small stripe along the sensitive skin there and when you let out a stuttering breath he chuckled. "You are ready for me, aren't ya, pretty girl?"
You couldn't nod fast enough. "Please," you choked out, and then he was pressing his finger inside you.
It was a small intrusion, but overwhelming all the same. In all your years, you'd never had the thought that it could feel this good to have him close to you like this. He was only as far as the first knuckle, but with the way that his bulge was nudging your hips, he wanted much more. "Good girl," he breathed, "such a good girl, openin' your legs like this."
"Wanna touch you," you whimpered again, vision blurring with the desperation that coursed through your veins. "Please, Joel, let me touch you."
He kissed you, but you could hardly focus enough to move your lips against his. "Already touchin' me," he said. "You want more?"
"Yes," you nodded feverishly, releasing your hand from his hair. "I wanna..." you looked down at his bulge and licked your lips.
Joel's eyes were wide as he whispered, "For fuck's sake, darlin', when you're cryin' about it..." he swiped a thumb across your cheeks, collecting a teardrop you hadn't even known was there. "How could I say no?"
Thankyouthankyouthankyou were the only words in your mind, a jumbled mess as you reached for him. Your finger traced his length and before you knew it, you were reaching inside his boxers to release it from its constraints. "Holy fuck," you whined, bucking your hips into his hand as you saw just how big he was, long and thick and heavy in your hand. "Need it," you found yourself whispering. "Need you."
It was all you could do before he pushed his finger further, then out, and then in, just enough to throw you closer to that addicting edge of ecstasy. Once again, you found yourself enveloped in the thick pressure of pure desire in his arms.
He pressed the pad of his thumb to your bud and swirled circles in your heat, his lips connecting to your ear once more. "Alright, baby. Alright, baby," he practically chanted in a low tone, nibbling on your lobe just hard enough to pinch the skin. "C'mon now, squeeze my finger like that, that's it," he groaned, drawing out the final two syllables, "good girl."
With his hand in the crux of your legs and his mouth connected to your ear, whispering the filthiest things you'd ever heard in your sheltered life, you threw your head back into the pillow and curled your legs toward him, your hand squeezing his cock tightly as you continued your strokes.
The sounds that erupted from your throat as you burst in a state of pure pleasure were the most pitiful (and yet electrifying) noises you'd ever heard yourself make, and you couldn't help but continue rolling your hips into his hands, chasing the feeling until it became more intense and your legs began to twitch again. "Joel," you mewled, voice breaking, "I need you."
A teasing chuckle sounded, and your cheeks warmed as he removed his hand from your slick. "So much you don't know, dollface," he crooned, tracing his index down the line of your nose. He pushed another, shining with your release, into your mouth. The sweetness nearly made you fall apart again. "Don't know if you're ready for that."
Your body was on fire, nearly throbbing with the insatiable need to be wrapped in his arms, with his hands everywhere, his lips anywhere. Your hand had been moving on his shaft, but his hips stuttered with your next words. "I am," you insisted, "I need you, please. I wanna feel you everywhere."
Joel's pupils went wide and he shuddered out a breath, mumbling a string of curses with his eyes shut. He thrusted his hips into your hand and then your skin was sticky and warm with his own release, some of it landing on your stomach where you lay beside him.
"Shit," he groaned with a rueful smirk. "Maybe I'm not ready for that yet." His breath fanned deliciously over your skin as he continued. "Can't hardly last long enough with the thought of stretching you out like that, baby."
You grinned, and you didn't mind the fact that he could definitely see the flush in your cheeks. "No?"
He shook his head. "Fuck no. I don't wanna think about how quickly I'll come if I were to be inside that pretty pussy yet," he said with a short and gentle tap to your mound. When your hips arched off the mattress and you whined at the sensitivity, he cooed apologetically.
"Isn't that a good thing?" you frowned slightly. "I thought I was making you feel good."
"Makin' me feel too good," he mused, bringing his hand up to hold your face toward him once more. He winked. "Can't have me comin' before you do, sweet girl. Not very gentlemanly of me."
You couldn't help the pang of doubt that clouded your face, and it must have been obvious, because then he was cupping the back of your head and pulling you to his chest. Humming into your neck, he smirked. "Besides, I want to be able to take my sweet time with you. To see you squirmin' beneath me like you do, baby? S'enough to make the pope leave the goddamn church."
tysm for reading, i can't believe you guys convinced me to write MORE filth for these two. u made it to the end, lemme know what you thought!
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A description of Gulliman's scar
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“Whatever & the Weather” [extended cut] | [more prose]
#flawlesshuxley#lbawdyhouse#lunarfolk#music#gypsyfader#soundcloud#spotify#spoken word#poetry#poet#poem#prose poem#prose before hoes#weather#whatever#that’s it#trashkerouac
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fwiklqicudh it’s true
@hiding-in-yourhands
#i just get sad when hes being smart and then he gets shut down#hes so smart and i think hed be so fun to talk to#and then cass swoops in and just#demolishes me#its true#prose before hoes#me#my post#hiding in yourhands#rainbows and headphones#friends tag#my friends#criminal minds#spencer reid
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Prose before hoes
Prose before hoes you guys
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I can feel his breath on my neck.
My heart beats faster and there are goosebumps lining across my arm.
He slowly kisses my neck and I stiffen.
On my right, my phone is vibrating.
He said my boyfriend doesn't have to know.
That it'll be quick and it'll be worth it.
There's a turmoil of emotions in my chest, building up to my throat, and I have to gulp it down.
The sunlight is glinting on the metal window sill.
The room is frigid.
He is holding me from behind while we're lying on the bed and he keeps moving closer.
He says I'm gorgeous. That I have a nice ass and perfect tits and there's nothing I need to worry about.
Of course the monster tells you there's nothing you need to worry about right before he draws his skin back to strike you with his claws.
I say I hate myself. He laughs.
I honestly hate myself for even thinking about cheating on the one who's at home, waiting for me.
I say I need to go home. He tells me to wait a while.
His voice gets husky.
He grabs my waist tightly so I can't leave.
I don't remember ever giving my body to him.
He acts like he owns every bit of me, like none of it ever belonged to me.
Just because he's "hot" according to most girls and intelligent, I'm supposed to want him. No girl says no to him.
I don't want him. I don't want this.
I just want to go home.
Tamarind Fall
#poetry writing#prose poetry#prose piece#prose before hoes#uncomfortable#blackpenwritings#Something that happened to me yesterday#i'm sorry#it was horrible#insecurities#spilled ink#spilled in poetry#spilled poetry#spilled words#spilled thoughts#spilled writing#my writing#tumblr writers#writers of tumblr#poets on tumblr#artists on tumblr#alt lit#lit#literature
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