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andreafmn · 4 years ago

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I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 1

Word Count: 3,325

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father's sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin's, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others' storyline.

Chapter: 1/?

Chapter Description: (Y/N) finally arrives at Beacon Hills for the funeral of her aunt and meets a certain wolf to which she feels a special connection.

A/N: Second fandom I'm writing for. I love Teen Wolf so much and the trope of hard Derek but only soft for you makes my heart sing. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 1

I hugged the black coat to my body as hard as I could whilst pushing through the sea of press. Our family's last name became quite known after the reports about my aunt, whose burial we were attending. She had allegedly burned down a house with people in it. She killed them in cold blood. I hugged my grieving uncle and his less grieving wife, then my cousin who had a painful look on her face. I hugged her the longest. She let herself crumble on my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Even though she was a horrible person she was still our aunt, family.

I took my seat behind Allison when my father, my mother, uncle Chris, and aunt Victoria stood up. Allison didn't lift her head and neither did I. I just tried to comfort her.

"It's been such a long time I don't expect you to call me grandpa." We both looked up to see a white-haired man who resembled the Argent features. "Don't worry about it, just call me Gerard." He hugged both of us, an overpowering aura emanating from his being. When we were engulfed, I looked to the side and saw two boys squatting behind a gravestone. If they were hiding, they were doing a horrible job at it.

"But I prefer Grandpa," Gerard said walking to his seat. I sat back down and drifted off during the whole ceremony. Once it was over, I joined my parents and we drove to our new house. I have a feeling that life here will be very interesting.

That weekend I decided that I had been putting working out off for too long. I changed into comfortable workout clothes and gave food to my dog, Brody. I headed out the door, put my earbuds on, and started to jog. I really didn't know where I was going since it was a new place for me, all I know is that I kept running until I reached the woods. The bad thing about this, I had no idea how to get back home. Even though I knew of this sidetrack and I knew I would be late to get back home, I kept running, needing a release from the mundane feeling of being new in town and having to reunite from our estranged family in a funeral.

I had gained a lot of momentum. God knows how fast I was running at this point that is until I hit something, it almost felt like a wall. When I looked up, I saw a very handsome guy. Spiked hair, green eyes, and slight stubble. If it weren't for the fact that I was already sweaty I would have started to sweat showers of how nervous I was. That is until he opened his mouth.

"Watch where you're going." He growled at me.

"How about you fucking move and not be a prick?" He looked at me with big eyes, probably in surprise, but quickly changed to his menacing look. Who was he trying to fool?

"Well, this is private property, which means that you're trespassing, meaning you should pay more attention to your surroundings."

"I'm sorry but a burnt-down house with almost no walls or roof is barely a property. So, how about you stop being an idiot and I can be on my way." I started to jog once again but he gained my attention once more.

"You're new here, aren't you?" I turned around to face him.

"What's it to you?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I'll take that as a yes." The cockiness oozed out of his pores.

"And why the hell should that matter?"

"Because no one would dare talk to me that way."

"Who would be afraid of a little sour wolf?" He tensed up. "Dude, chill. I'm just kidding. But I doubt anyone would be afraid of Mr...."

"Hale. Derek Hale." He said extending his hand to me. Gee, after screaming at me he wants us to be acquaintances. I thought about not shaking his hand, but I didn't want to be rude. Well, more than I have been already.

"(Y/N). Argent." I shook his hand. Strong grip. Suddenly I felt a rush of déjà vu; I had met him the day before. "Wait, aren't you that guy I accidentally hit with my grocery cart yesterday?"

"Yeah, that really hurt. You hit my ankle. You could've had me limping."

"But you're not, so be grateful I didn't break your ankle." He laughed. "Damn, if I had known how cocky you really were, I would've hit you harder."

"So, you admit that you hit me?"

"Oh yeah, of course, I hit you. Accidentally that is."

"Yeah, yeah."

I looked around trying to find where the hell I had come from but there wasn't even the slightest trail as to where I was to go.

"So, miss (Y/N). Do you even know your way home?"

"No, but I'm sure I can find my way back." Then, he took keys out of his pocket and pointed to his car.

"Come on, I'll drive you around and you just tell me when something seems familiar."

"And why should I go with the guy that almost ripped out my throat for bumping into him? For all I know you could be driving me to my death." I crossed my arms over my chest, and he let out a loud sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry for snapping. But I'm trying to be nice. That doesn't happen very often."

"Alright, Mr. Hale. I'll let you take me home just because you are being nice now, after being a prick, and I'm exhausted."

"See, no one can resist me." I rolled my eyes at his cockiness. Seriously does he buy cans of it on eBay?

"Don't get cocky with me. I can punch the living daylights out of you." He chuckled and started to drive.

We drove for about 20 minutes until I finally recognized the curb that led to my house. Upon arriving at my driveway, I got out of the car and walked to the driver’s side.

"Give me your hand” For some reason, I felt compelled to do so. He took a pen and wrote down a number. "Call me if you ever need a tour of the town."

Three weeks later, I walked inside the school to meet up with Allison. I moved here with my family since dad had some business taking float. Being the new kid in town is never fun. I would know. I switch schools almost every year. The pro and con about this would be not being attached to anyone. Usually, I'm the one who doesn't talk to anyone and is called a freak. A derogatory term given to people who are way too different from others, but a title I wore proudly.

"Oh my gosh, (Y/N)! How have you been?" Allison wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. It was as if she hadn't seen me just three weeks ago.

"Hi, Allison. I've been good, getting acclimated to the new town. You?" You would think that because we were cousins, I would be more affectionate towards her but honestly, I wouldn't see her again for like three more years, so what's the point?

"I'm good. A little rocky at the start of coming here but good." Then, a boy with a buzz cut and one with great brown hair walked by and smiled at Alli. "Ooh, you should come meet my friends. Stiles, Scott!! Come here." The boys turned around with goofy grins on their faces.

"Hey, Allison. Who's this?" Buzzcut kid said.

"This is my cousin, (Y/N). She just moved here from Virginia."

"Pleasure to meet you. I'm Scott." The one with the great hair said.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Stiles." I shook their hands and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, too, buzzcut." Allison and Scott laughed but Stiles only ran his hand through his hair, suddenly becoming hyperaware of his lack of locks.

"Allison. Who might this sexy lady be?" I rolled my eyes. The last thing I need is a narcissist with a god-complex trying to get close.

"Oh, Jackson, this is my cousin, (Y/N)."

"Hi." He extended his hand and looked me up and down.

"Hi." I smiled sarcastically, and when I didn't extend my hand, he dropped his.

Finally, after standing awkwardly behind Allison whilst her friends talked, the bell rang. Talk about saved by the bell.

"Hey, (Y/N), what's your first class?" I checked my schedule.

"Um, chemistry."

"Oh, good, then you're coming with us to Mr. Harris' class," Scott said pointing towards him and Stiles. I smiled and walked behind them.

Once we got to the classroom everyone turned to me, the ever-present sign of being new in the class evident in the stare of my classmates.

"Um, hi, my name is (Y/N) Argent and I'm new." The teacher, whom I guess is Mr. Harris, turned around to face me.

"Oh, yes, Miss Argent. Welcome. You will be sitting next to Isaac Lahey. Lahey, raise your hand." Once Isaac raised his hand, I noticed he was sat near Stiles and Scott. Two people I was trying to avoid. As I walked past, I accidentally pushed Stiles' book on his lap, startling him, resulting in an awkward descent from his lab stool onto the floor.

"Hi, again. I guess we are gonna see a lot of each other for the rest of the school year." I nodded and he scratched the back of his neck. "So, um, what school did you come from?"

"Lancaster High," I responded whilst writing down what Mr. Harris was writing on the board. Stiles kept trying to talk to me, but I would only give him short, cold answers or just ignore him. That is until Mr. Harris called our attention, that's when he finally got the memo to shut up.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to introduce myself since we're gonna be seated next to each other all year. I'm Isaac."

"I figured." I tried giving him my best smile. The vibe he was giving off seemed like he needed it. "I'm (Y/N)."

"Well, nice to meet you, (Y/N). Now I'll leave you to the class because if I don't I know I'll be failing even more than I am."

"Oh, well, maybe I can tutor you some time. I'm actually really good at science. My mom was a chemist professor once upon a time so I'm bound to understand all this."

"Really?!" His puppy eyes seemed to light up and I nodded. "That would actually be amazing."

"Sure thing. Now let's get back to class."

After Chemistry finished, I put everything in my bag as quickly as possible and sped to my next class, Math. Thankfully, none of Allison's friends shared this class with me but I did share it with Isaac. I didn't consider him much a friend but more an acquaintance in desperate need of help.

As the day progressed, I noticed the rest of my classes were shared with one or more of Allison's friends. They all tried to strike up a conversation but were quickly discouraged when met with my one-worded or vague answers. Especially, Stiles. He tried especially hard to get answers out of me, only being met with the occasional laugh or stare at his comical occurrences. He seemed like the kind of person you could just open up to. The same could be said about Scott. His shy nature was alluring, and he portrayed himself as a very trustworthy and loyal being.

But I would not allow myself to let them in. My whole being yearned for a real friendship, someone to share nothing and everything; never again.

At lunch, I sat outside and ate my food quietly, a book in front of my face to shield my eyes from the sun the prevalent stares of my peers. After some minutes of appreciated loneliness, the empty table was filled with conversating teenage bodies. I smiled politely but, in my mind, I was cursing them out.

"So, (Y/N), how's your day been?" Allison asked whilst munching on an apple. I swallowed what was left of my bite and answered.

"Fine, thank you." This time no one pressed on after my short answers, finally getting the hint of my disinterest. In the corner of my eye, I saw Isaac sitting under a tree munching on half a sandwich. I excused myself and went to join him, heavily enjoying his tranquil aura.

"Oh, hi, (Y/N)." He smiled sheepishly.

"Hey, Isaac. Is that all you're eating?"

"Yeah. I'm not very hungry." He looked down as if he were ashamed.

"Nonsense! Here," I gave him the other half of my burger and another bag of chips I had in my bag. "You can't tell me you're not hungry. You're a boy in peak development."

"Thanks." He smiled as he continued munching on his food. I put on some music and we continued eating in silence. No conversation required.

The day went on smoother than it started. Classes flew by fairly quickly and the incessant chit-chat seemed to diminish. During last period I was like every other student, anxiously waiting for the bell to signal the end of the school day. When my pleads were answered, I packed the necessary book into my bag and left the rest in my locker, expertly avoiding any more social encounters. Quickly, I made my way to the waiting open car door of my father's car, ignoring Allison's beckoning me t.wards the small group of friends.

"How was your first day, darling?" My father spoke up breaking my attention from the scenery.

"Like any other first day I've had." I smiled. "The towns might change but school is always the same."

Finally at home, we were greeted with the sight of my mother cooking; people were coming over.

"(Y/N), honey, Chris, Victoria, and Allison are coming over tonight. So, go do a quick workout and come back to get ready." I nodded and ran to my room to change into workout clothes.

My routine would normally consist of waking up, working out, go to school for a dreading eight hours, come back home, workout again, do my homework, eat, and go to sleep. I lead a very monotonous life and it had been this way since I could remember. One of my earliest memories was of my father teaching me archery alongside Allison, a great distraction to our always disrupted home life. As I got older, my father started training me in boxing and knife maneuvering. How would these skills help me in life were still a mystery but I felt safe knowing them.

I got changed and decided to take Brody out with me on a quick jog through the woods. "Hey, boy, ready to go?"

He jumped on me which I took as a yes and started for the woods. We ran down the same trail I had been going on for the past three weeks. Mostly, I went down this track in hopes that Derek would make an appearance, and today was not the exception. As the ruins of his house came to view so did his tall figure.

"Trespassing again?"

"It doesn't count if I know the owner." During our greeting, Brody's leash slipped out of my hand and he ran to jump on Derek, leaving slobbering licks on his cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it." He chuckled and helped me bring him down.

"I guess he likes you, even though he doesn't like anyone but me. Guess you're special."

"Maybe." He grinned.

Out of nowhere, I hit him in the shoulder. "What was that for?!"

"For trying to run me over with your shopping cart two days ago. It was uncalled for."

"No, it was revenge. You hit ME first. In the ankle."

"You're still on with that. Come on, sour wolf. That happened three weeks ago, and it was an accident."

"Whatever. Come on, I'll give you a ride home. It's getting kind of dark." This had also become part of my routine. After "bumping" into Derek he would offer to drop me off at my house, claiming it was for security.

"Okay, we're here. By the way, the offer to show you around town is still up. Just call me whenever." He said as he stopped the car in front of my house.

"Alright, will do, and thanks for the ride, Derek. I'd invite you in, but my family is coming over."

"No worries, maybe another time."

"It's a date. Anyways, thanks again. See you when I see you."

"Okay, goodnight."

"Night." He waited until I entered the house and drove away.

"Munchkin, is that you?" My father screamed from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" I screamed back.

"Okay, well, go take a shower and get ready your uncle will get here soon."

I hurried up the stairs and hopped in the shower letting the hot water stream down my body calming any aching muscle that was palpitating. In my room, I searched through my closet for an acceptable family dinner outfit, deciding a grey sweater and black jeans would be enough. I braided my hair out of my face and went downstairs to help my mother set the table.

After we put the last plate the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" I ran to the door and was greeted by my uncle. "Uncle Chris!" I jumped and he hugged me. There was no doubt that he was my favorite family member, his presence was always welcoming. His wife on the other hand was as cold as the winters we spent in New York. She was nice but absolutely scary. "Hi, Aunt Victoria."

"Hello, (Y/N)." I hugged her and said hi to Allison.

"Come in, guys." They walked in and I closed the door behind them.

"So, (Y/N), how have you been?" Uncle Chris asked while stuffing his mouth with mom's famous lasagna.

"I've been good. I mean, moving all the time takes a toll on you at first, but I got used to it. It's easy now to pack it all up once the school year ends."

"Oh, honey, that must be so hard on you," Victoria said. I could not read her tone, her words spoke in sympathetic notes with an underlying melody of sarcasm. Not knowing what to answer, I bit my lip and nodded.

The whole evening was spent on us catching up and eating, laughing, playing games, but the good times came to an end when the clock hit 9:00 pm. It was stupid to set a curfew, but my mom usually had everyone in bed at this time, 10:30 as of late.

"You better come around the house more often." Uncle Chris demanded and hugged me.

"Yes, sir." I raised my hand to my eyebrow and saluted, as did he.

"Let's go, Chris. And thank you for the lovely dinner, Rebecca," Victoria said linking arms with my uncle and smiling at mom.

"No problem. Come by any time." They talked for a bit more and after they left, I went upstairs to change for bed.

"Momma, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Okay, honey. Goodnight." I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, and put my hair in a ponytail.

Before bed, I made sure everything I would need for the next day was packed into my bag and made sure my alarm was set. I pulled all the throw pillows from my bed and set them aside, then making my way to the window to draw the curtains. Something caught my attention in the backyard, though. My eyes squinted trying to make out the figure in front of me. Blinking the confusion away, I made a double-take and looked back at an empty yard. I laughed to myself as I crept into bed. Why would Derek be in my backyard?

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hitoshiikigai · 4 years ago

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Foreign Feelings

anon request: Hiya there Sen!! I love your blog and i would love to read more of your writings. Can i request an imagine for being like a first year european shy student and becoming Nekoma’s manager, she slowly develops a crush for kenma but doesn’t know how to express her feelings because of language and because she thinks kenma won’t return her feelings

‪(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆ a/n 「i made it gender neutral, i hope that's ok and if it's not, i can change it to your liking! also, this is my first romance fic in my whole life, i hope it's satisfactory(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ i feel like i just forgot the slowly part-」

‪pronouns used: they/them

‪word count: 2.8k

You continuously repeat your introduction in your head as you wait for your turn. It's ok, you can do this, you've learnt this in basic Japanese lessons, it's just a few lines. Nothing too complicated!

The voice of the person behind you breaks the chant in your mind, "I'm Haiba Lev and..." Your thoughts block out the rest of his introduction. Is he a foreigner too? That name definitely does not sound Japanese but you note of his perfect pronunciation- a screech of a chair moving startles you and you're suddenly aware of the eyes of your new classmates staring right at you.

Sucking in a deep breath, you stand up, doing a bow, the Japanese words tumbling clumsily out of your mouth, "I'm (Y/N) (L/N)- no wait- (L/N) (Y/N), please just call me (y/n). Nice to meet all of you." You keep your eyes on your desk as you bow once again before sitting back down. You pretend not to notice the murmurs and sounds of interest about the two foreign students in their class, busying yourself by preparing your things for the lesson.

Mechanical pencil on the right. Pencil case right above your notebook. The ruler-

"Psst... Hey, you're not from Japan, right?" You turn around to meet glowing green eyes that somehow made you feel like you were looking into a cat's eyes instead. You nod and he grins in what you could guess as excitement. However, before he could say any more, he was cut off by the teacher signalling the start of class.

Maybe he's a potential friend?

After a few lessons of trying to keep up with the lessons taught in Japanese, your brain's finally granted with a break from trying to translate and you can't help the sigh that escapes you as you rest your cheek on your table, closing your eyes.

"Hey Y/N! Wanna have lunch with me?" You open your eyes to see your tall classmate looming over you- right, his name's Lev. Or should you call him Haiba?

You quickly weigh the pros and cons of eating with him. He seems like a nice person to be friends with and having a non-Japanese friend in this less-than-familiar country could definitely do you some good, maybe your Japanese can improve faster as well. But... you were planning to just find some nice quiet spot to listen to music in hopes of preventing the growing headache, a result of an overwhelming first day.

Well, there's no harm, you suppose... "Sure, I don't mind," you agree and you search for your wallet in your bag as Lev waits patiently.

Once he sees you're ready, he smiles widely and starts walking to the cafeteria most likely and you follow him, having to walk slightly faster to keep up.

"Where are you from? I'm half-Russian but I can't speak Russian. Oh! I know a few people here already! I visited the school before the school year started and made friends with people from the volleyball team. I'm actually gonna join the team once they start taking in applicants and-" Lev rambles on and you could only hum or nod, insert a few words of your own when he asks a question until you reach the cafeteria.

"Lev! Here! You're late!" You see a student with black messy hair that spikes up everywhere except for the fringe that covers his right eyes waving his arm. Lev bounds up to the table with you in tow and you can already see a few curious eyes examining you. Your gaze sweeps across the table, an uninterested guy playing with a switch catching your eyes a tiny fraction longer than the others before you look down at the floor, shuffling just a bit behind Lev, your current shield.

"This is Y/N, my new friend! They're not from Japan and I thought I could show them around," Lev claps his hands on your shoulders and moves you forward, putting you right in the spotlight.

Oh no. Ok, deep breaths. A simple introduction, no big deal. It's definitely a smaller group, better than a whole class.

"H-hi..." You clear your throat, cursing yourself mentally for the stutter, and repeat yourself with what you hope was a stronger voice. There's a chorus of greetings and before you even realise, you find yourself squished between Lev and a friendly-looking guy with a buzzcut, who you soon come to know as Kai, after a round of introductions.

How did you end up here? In a gym full of flying balls that could accidentally hit your face anytime? With your arms full of water bottles that you just filled up? You definitely did not sign up for this... Ok, well technically you did, you just didn't know what was in store. Try being a manager just for one practice, they said. Somehow, it feels like you were tricked somewhere along the line.

You hand the water bottles to the boys, jolting slightly when your hand unintentionally brushes against Kenma's. He thanks you quietly and you only nod in acknowledgment, avoiding any form of eye-contact with him and quickly moving on to hand the rest of the water bottles out before going back to the sidelines to watch.

It's really amazing watching them play. Everyone seems so coordinated with each other and the teamwork is seamless. Despite that, there are a few individuals that pique your interest: Yaku who seems to be able to teleport anywhere in the court, Lev with his tall and powerful stature, and more importantly, Kenma with his smart plays. It's like he calls the game, dictating where and how the ball goes and it's a whole experience observing him. Of course, the other members are amazing in their own ways, watching the team play is like watching a well-oiled machine working.

"How are you, Y/N?" Kai asks from beside you, wiping his sweat and giving you a warm smile.

You peel your eyes away from the quiet setter to answer Kai, and also to make sure you aren't caught staring at the certain player, "It's..." You try to find the correct words in your brain as Kai waits patiently for your answer. "It's nice... to watch. Everyone's good." You blush in embarrassment at the simple words you used, not having the full vocabulary to communicate what you really want to say. Kai, being the angel he is, makes a noise of approval and gives another warm smile which at least make you relax.

"If you need help with anything, you can ask any of us," he tells you before going back to the courts. You bow to him which he only waves off, laughing amiably.

After attending a few more practice sessions and having lunch with the team almost every break, you've grown a bit more comfortable with them, especially with Kai and Yaku, along with Lev. The team always tried their best to use simpler words whenever they spoke to you and you're definitely grateful for their efforts. However, there's just one person you've barely interacted with:

Kozume Kenma.

The third years obviously noticed the lack of interaction, especially Kuroo and he made it his own personal mision to try to get the two of you to talk to each other more, albeit with many difficulties.

"Come on, Kenma. You don't think I don't notice you paying attention anytime Y/N talks? You're not exactly very slick, you always pause your games just for Y/N," Kuroo nudges Kenmas side with his elbow which Kenma slaps away in irritation.

"Shut up Kuroo."

Kuroo leans in closer to Kenma, "You can't tell me you don't notice Y/N staring at you during practice? Blushing whenever you're 5 metres away from each other? Or when-"

"Kuroo, please just shut up," Kenma groans and glares at his switch, clicking away at the buttons and suppressing the urge to scream in anger as the words 'GAME OVER' flash on the screen. Instead, he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply before letting out a long sigh.

Kuroo smiles knowingly before his eyes shift over to something behind Kenma.

"Kuroo-senpai? Kenma-senpai? Has Kai-san arrived yet? I need to ask him something..." Kenma stiffens as your soft voice reaches his ears. He bristles at the 'senpai' title attached to his name, wanting you to just rid of the honorific altogether. He was supposed to tell you, in fact, he had been wanting to tell you to just refer to him casually just like everyone does but he never got the chance. How could he when your conversations only last 30 seconds long each time?

Jump. Jump. Duck. Ju- GAME OVER.

He pressed down his buttons more aggressively, a frown slowly forming on his face. Why couldn't he be more talkative? Why is talking so hard? Why is talking to YOU so hard? Lev does it so easily, Kai too, and Yaku and... and just everyone in the team but him.

You stare in concern as you watch Kenma play angrily with his game and you look to Kuroo for answers only to be met with a shrug.

"Yaku will be running late, some class meeting or something," Kuroo stands up and stretches, walking out of the gym, "Meanwhile, I'll go get my things."

The sounds from Kenma's game filled up the awkward silence and you take a moment to steel yourself, walking towards Kenma. "A-are you okay, Kenma-senpai? You look... angry?" At your question, Kenma's fingers still and the sounds suddenly stopped.

Kenma looks up at you and places his switch on his lap before looking away. "I'm okay... I'm not angry." He mumbles and you smile in relief at his words. "Do you want to play?" He suddenly offers his switch to you and you blink in shock, never really having known or seen him to ever share his switch with someone, simply rejecting anyone- save for that tangerine boy from another school- who tried to even get their hands on his beloved switch.

Noticing your hesitance, he places the gadget on the bench, between the two of you, letting you take your time. You look back to search for anything that will clue you in if he doesn’t actually want to do this, but finding none, you gingerly take it, careful not to drop it or at least try to not leave any embarrassingly sweaty fingerprints. You feel Kenma shifting closer to you to get a closer look at the screen and you don’t know if you feel lightheaded from him being the closest he has ever been that you can actually feel body heat radiating from him or from forgetting to breathe. Trying to focus on the little digital character instead and your fingers clumsily hitting the buttons, a contrast to the way his nimble fingers moved with muscle memory.

And if you felt butterflies in your stomach as he occasionally positioned your fingers on the correct button, the butterflies immediately flew away the moment Lev walks in the gym and you were left with just tingling fingers.

You cradle the box of apple pie you bought in a rush from the bakery, trying to tidy up the ribbon you tied around it to make it more presentable. You had asked Kai about what Kenma liked because you knew there was no way you could write or even say anything close to romantic in Japanese, so you figured out you could give him little gifts, you know, actions soeak louder than words, that kinda thing? As you think of the many ways you could say something wrong by declaring your feelings to him in a foreign tongue like unknowingly saying something ridiculous, or stupid, or even worse, something dirty! Lev’s incessant teasing and mock-kissing noises only stopped when you reached the gym.

“Oh? Y/N-chan, who’s that apple pie for, I wonder,”Kuroo gives you a knowing look and blatantly stares at Kenma, who just seems unbothered. You try to reason yourself that he was only concentrating on his game. Ignoring Kuroo, you take a tentative step towards Kenma, making sure you’re in his line of sight before thrusting the box to him, “For you Kenma… Uh, enjoy it!” You blurted out before brisk walking to the equipment room to take refuge, not even waiting for his reaction.

You hear the muffled shouts of the boys and you can imagine them crowding Kenma. You wince in sympathy.

During the whole practice, you had to deflect the many looks and questions the boys gave you. Thankfully, Kai managed to stop them before it got too much. A godsend. Before any of them could corner you after practice, you zoomed past the gym doors the moment you were done with your manager duties, forgetting that you had barely paid any attention to Kenma the whole time.

“Lev, do you know who’s this from?” You ask Lev, holding up the canned drink that was left on your table.

“Oh, that’s from Kenma. He came here earlier to place it there. He honestly could’ve just asked me to pass it to you but he said I would lose it or something. How mean,” Lev huffs but you can only focus on the fact that Kenma went through efforts to make sure you received it.

“Thank you for the apple pie yesterday. It was really nice,” Kenma took a seat beside you, on the same bench you first played his switch together.

“T-thank you for the drink! It’s my favourite,” you smile shyly. The corner of his lips curl up, just ever so slightly, which you think was the trick of the light.

Kenma gives his switch to you, now a weekly routine for the both of you on days he finishes class earlier. The distance between you and him grew smaller and smaller until your elbows brush against his at any slight movement.

This is it. This is the moment. You made a mental deal with yourself a week ago. If you win this level today, the one where you always lose, you’ll confess to him and if you don’t, you’ll simply leave your feelings hidden and buried deep in the safe in your heart.

Your eyebrows furrow in concentration, refusing any help from Kenma (Kenma just ignored the tiny sting in his heart when you did).

In the meantime, Kenma takes the chance to watch you, sharp, feline eyes studying your features. The stray baby hairs peeking out after a long school day, the slight sheen on your skin from the hot and humid gym, the determination in your eyes. Determination? To beat the level? He restrains himself from chuckling at your cuteness. This felt very different when he watches Shouyo play his video games. Kenma just really feels different any time he’s around you.

You abruptly stand up and cheer, “I did it! Kenma, look!” You show him the screen with the words ‘MISSION COMPLETE’ flashing repeatedly on the screen. You grinned widely at him and he smiles back in fondness.

Suddenly, you go all quiet, which concerned Kenma. “I have something to tell you.” At that, he tilts his head, urging for you to go on.

“I… IlikeyouKenma!” Your words end up being stringed together but from the widening of his eyes, he mostly likely understood.

“You do?”

You nod with pink dusting your cheeks, your fingers fiddling with the ends of your blouse. You’re prepared to get rejected, maybe even move back to Europe and never show your face to him again. And if not, at least you could quit the manager position to avoid any future confrontations with him.

“I like you too, Y/N,” he replies softly, but it was definitely audible in the quiet gym.

And if all else fails- wait what? This time, it’s your turn to look at him wide-eyed, processing what he just said.

“Y/N! Did you leave me for your boyfriend?!” The doors burst open with Lev boisterously shouting, Yaku walking calmly behind him with a twitching eyebrow.

You backpedal away from Kenma, dropping the switch in surprise and you scramble to pick it up, saying a stream of apologies to him, wiping away the dust and checking for any cracks.

Yaku, being more aware of the mood, kicks the back of Lev’s knees, adding a smack to the back of the head for good measure, hissing, “Shut up, you idiot!”

You make eye contact with Kenma before bursting into giggles, him just letting out a snort. You’re just glad you managed to confess before Lev could confess for you.

[1 New Message]

Kenma: wanna beat the next level after practice? you can come over to my house for dinner

You: yes! i’d love to!

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itburnsobeautiful · 3 years ago

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PTD on stage thoughts- I

Okay now that I have recovered:

The pros:

Concert summary:

- The first half ( On-fire-dope-DNA, Blue and Grey- Black swan- BS&T-Fake love stole my breath away. Some of the best styling I have seen on the boys men. Bangtan said they’ve glowed up and they SHOWED that. RM with his buzzcut, Jin looking so naturally beautiful, Suga bringing bad bitch energy, Jhope with his hair and his tongue ...the maknae line really stole the show for me today. I could not take my eyes off Jimin and Jungkook. Jungkook looked and felt expensive and those contacts made me swoon. Jimin with his disney prince hair looking both ethereal and like he could pick you up off your feet. Taehyung with his tattoo and bringing his charm even if he was sitting down. I’ve attended 4 online concerts so far and I dare say that this had the best remixes and sound mixing so far. Absolutely immaculate, please put these on spotify Hybe. Special shoutout to Jimin for wearing full body chains, barely any shirts and still expecting us to breathe. FULL BS&T PERFORMANCE NEXT TIME THANK YOU

- The Black Swan performance hands down was the best one off that second medley ( which as you can tell, was my favourite).

- Very fun VCRs even if the storyline was a bit strange and felt more ghostly towards the end. First VCR in black and white wins hands down ( also loved the call back to the Micdrop mv and being questioned).

- I like the hype energy of the first half followed by mellowing into second segment before hitting us with the airy melodies.

- That butter intro!! so good!

- in 2021 the year of our lord I got to see live BS&T, I need U, save me and young forever

- Taehyung, get well soon! I wanted to give him the biggest hug for how disappointed he felt.

Cons:

- The ending was a bit off.

I am not talking about the ments which I thought was great because they spoke from the heart as they always do.

Maybe it was the rushed way they pulled through to PTD and cut to displaying LA streaming tickets ( yay!)? Maybe PTD was a strange song to end on? Maybe it was the medley order of young forever- spring day-ptd? Maybe it was day 1 jitters? But it felt off. It felt like they were still workshopping that ending.

One of my bigger gripes about hybe is that ever since the Wembley concert, young forever is supposed to be THE song that makes armys emotional and its a song that I’ve noticed played over “emotional montages”. You can’t force emotion. You can’t keep posting callbacks because you were once successful. It takes away from that original Wembley performance instead of building on the song’s success.

- I’m also sad because we didn’t get Louder than bombs (LTB). I’ve given up on ever getting paradise live but Bangtan you know we want LTB please :(

Overall i loved most of it. I love BTS. These men are beautiful lords of the stage. What a great Sunday, can’t wait to watch the replay next Sunday! (will post more thoughts then)

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midnight-queery · 4 years ago

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so i got a buzzcut and i have some thoughts

pro: less hair, less hassle

con: i live in the girls hall in a college dorm and while i was brushing my teeth someone walked in, then stepped out to double check the sign

pro: i don’t identify as female anyway and found it Highly Amusing

con: it’s hard to brush your teeth when you’re laughing

i’m super self-conscious but also find awkward situations funny so that’s good, i guess?

pro: my hair is really soft

con: my arms are tired from me petting my hair so much

my hair feels like some kinda paintbrush and i love it... oh unless i pat it then it feels like an ineffective cactus 🌵

pro: i feel free

con: i look like a punk in anime

pro: i look good in hats

con: if i wear a baseball cap backwards i look Suspicious but if i wear it forwards i look like i work in the dining hall

and i quit that job last year, so how about no

pro: it’s cold out rn so winter hats work

con: i only have one winter hat

pro: i can’t exactly get hat hair

also

pro: no hair in my face

con: i have a lot of face

pro: it’s a good face

con: it’s an annoyingly feminine face and this haircut somehow emphasizes this

you would think shorter hair means more masculine but nope

so in conclusion i think imma go back to pixie cuts

pro: i have thick hair and it grows fast

con: am i gonna look like a chia pet for awhile?

bonus-

pro: my mom’s face when i pulled my hat off and revealed my lack of hair

con: no con- it was perfection

#i have learned Many things #not all of them useful #also: WIND FEELS SO WEIRD #nonbinary #haircut #oops #oof #lol #pros and cons #lmao #buzzcut #hahahahahahaha #oh dear #how long will this take to grow out #imma look like w poorly drawn anime character for awhile huh #;-;

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writersplight · 4 years ago

Text

sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.

Connie remembered everything about that night. It was raining, and it was late. About two in the morning. The car was stuffy, but he didn’t want to be anywhere else. His girlfriend and childhood friend, Sasha, was silent. It was weird, because she usually picked him up blasting music and having something to say. But tonight—that night—she had nothing to say to them. Usually the cliffside view was beautiful for a sunset, and they’d hold hands and laugh until they decided they were tired enough to go home. It would be hours at a time. Sometimes, they’d buy McDonald’s and rant about the world, sitting on the car hood with just each other.

“School starts up again next week,” she started, quietly, her eyes on the wheel. “Yeah. Spring break was not long enough—” “It never is for you,” she snorts, and he rolls his eyes. She was right. No matter how long the break, Connie always complained about school. It’s not totally his fault that he feels stupid in every class he has; even the one he gets B’s in. Sasha wasn’t like that in all her classes, she excelled in science and math, and even though her mind was dead by the time she got to English, she still did well. Intellectually, she was superior. He didn’t mind—he was too preoccupied celebrating her academic achievements to compare himself to her. “Yeah. I’m not a fan of—” “It’s still raining. . .” It’s weird that he never got to finish his sentence. Maybe she was afraid he’d say something to make her stay. Not that he would have. “Nothing good ever happens when it rains.” She started the car again, and Connie, who was trying to figure out why his heart was starting to sink, kept quiet. He was never quiet. He always had something to fill the silence with. He wanted to tell her about his parent’s divorce, but he couldn’t he couldn’t find the words. It wasn’t the time. As they pulled up to his lawn, the rain started to come down harder, and everything finalized in his mind. “Who is it?” he asked, quietly, finally getting his one sentence in. Sasha grips the steering wheel tightly, but she was glad he got the memo—they were breaking up. She already soft-blocked him from all her social media, but he wouldn’t know that until morning. “Niccolo,” she finally says, and he nods. He knows of him. Blonde VoTech student, succeeding in the culinary field. Of course that would win over the brunette—the way to her heart is through her stomach. He swallowed dryly. “See you at school?” he wouldn’t meet her eyes, hand on the car door. “Oh, Connie. . .” her face got dark. She wouldn’t look at him. He was standing in front of her on his lawn. He doesn’t remember moving. “No.” She drove off. Connie spent the rest of freshman year, and all of sophomore year avoiding Sasha and her boyfriend. He’s never seen her happier, and he didn’t want to interrupt that. Despite, you know, wanting to be the cause of her happiness. He heard them laughing a lot. It was torturous. He was always dizzy, and kept his hood up to prevent the bright lights from reaching his eyes. He was starting to find comfort in the darkness that once scared him. The unknown of it all really put him at ease. It did keep him up, though. Pros and cons. “Connie!” Sasha finally caught up to him, midst of junior year, grabbing his arm so he wouldn’t run. The cars were starting to pull away around them, so she pulled him to her car. He kept his eyes on the asphalt ground. “What’s going on, man? You’ve been avoiding me for so long! Marco, Jean, and I were trying to—” The world turned red, and spun. Distantly, he questioned, “What?” “Why have you been avoiding me?” “Why?” he repeated, dumbfounded. “Yeah,” she cocked her head to the side like he was confusing her. Shoving his hands in his pockets, his eyebrows furrow. “Sasha. . . You broke up with me. What do you mean?” “Yeah, but—” “You blocked me on Instagram and Snap,” he pointed out, getting angrier. His hands were starting to shake. “You started avoiding me first!” “Yeah, but. . .” “Am I an asshole for returning the favor?” “No, but I miss you.” she pouted, twiddling her fingers. That’s the last straw. “Sasha, we’re not in middle school anymore! That pout won’t work. I’m sorry you missed me, but I’m not willing to let myself hang around and wait until it’s convenient for you to feel up to being my friend again. That’s not fair to me.” She was starting to get upset, he could see that. But he’s been upset for months upon months. It’s almost been two years. “You’re so happy with Niccolo, then make friends with his friends. No need to involve me.” “But. . . You’re my best friend, Connie,” she reaches for his hand, but he yanks his arm away. “I was, wasn’t I?” he steps

back. “Well, everything must come to an end.” “Wait!” she cried out, and he found himself waiting. It angered him that he was still willing to listen to her. He turned back to her, eyebrows raised. “How. . . How did you move on?” “Move on?” he thought about, removing a hand from his pockets to fix his falling hood. “I didn’t. I probably won’t ever ‘move on’, but. . . I just take one step at a time. It’s all I can do.” “I miss your company.” Connie went silent, eyes on his beat up converse. The wind picked up. He didn’t have anything else to say. Sure, he missed his best friend, too, but it’s not like she unblocked him or truly made an effort. He shrugged, turning on his heel. There wasn’t much else he could do. He was so close to being roped back into her friend loop. He couldn’t do that to himself. He tried, at first, to make amends, but she always turned him down. Connie couldn’t keep waiting. Connie spent a lot of his high school life working. He wanted to save up for something fun to do with friends. Marco and Jean offered not many ideas, but it hit the buzzcut teen when he was trying to sleep one night—a camp out. In the woods not too far behind his house. There’s this clearing he used to use that’s perfect. He sent out a massive group text. That included: Jean, Marco, Annie, Bert, Reiner, Mikasa, Armin, Eren. . . His thumb hovered over Sasha’s contact. He frowned. He skipped over her, and sent the text. Despite it being one in the morning, everyone seemed on board. They spent the next hour finding a date. They decided upon July 12th, where they all had time to call out and arrange accordingly. That date. . . In fifth grade, that’s when Connie asked Sasha out. They dated until freshman year. It was wild how the universe works. He agreed upon the date and marked it in his calendar. After graduation, he continued working. He still had a few months before he was going away to college, and he still had the whole camp out to put together. He found himself hanging around Annie and Mikasa a lot. He didn’t expect them to be so hands on with the project, or into it at all—considering how they tended to not be huge talkers—but they were. It didn’t make sense to him, but he had fun organizing it with them. It all came to him at the end of the night, after grilling hot dogs and hamburgers for dinner. He was sitting in a lawn chair, staring at the stars by himself, with this big dopey smile on his face. His hand was around his soda bottle. Annie and Mikasa pulled chairs up to sit with him. “You seem happier than you’ve been in years,” Annie points out, handing him a bottle of root beer. He opens it for her, nodding along to what she said. “Yeah. I am.” “Does this mean you’re over Sasha?” Mikasa sends a glare to the blonde, and Connie finds himself laughing. It was funny how people still treated it like a sore subject. “No. Yes? I’m able to talk about it, but it still hurts. It’s everything and nothing at all.” He adjusts himself in his chair. He bought a tent big enough for them all to lay in, and he managed to be assigned to the very girls sitting next to him. However, he was focused on the stars. “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Mikasa settles on, not being too good with words. That’s something Annie and her shared—their difference was Mikasa had a heavy filter, where Annie’s filter was non-existent. She thought about her words heavily. “Me too. It’s good to be hanging out with my friends again. I’m sorry for, you know, being shitty. I didn’t mean it.” “It was a tough breakup. Don’t worry about those it doesn’t concern.” Annie advised, taking a swig of her soda. “It does concern you guys, because you’re my friends and I wasn’t there for you. That’s how I see it, and I’m sorry. But, yes, it was tough. I tried to ignore it but. . . Well, there are some things you can’t avoid in life. I had to deal with it.” Connie explained, looking into his soda bottle. He’s glad he found his way out. He just got so tired being sad that he had a breakthrough. Some aren’t as lucky, but he was never the

forever-brooding type. He was much more comfortable as the clown of the group. “And you’re better now for it,” Mikasa says softly, turning to him. She placed a hand over his, and Annie took his other hand. His face grew hot, but they all looked at the stars. There was comfortable silence between them. Slowly, Connie intertwined their hands together. In the distance, Jean and Eren could be heard bickering about trees. Weird topic for them, but it was normal. “We both like you, Connie,” Annie finally said, “and we’d like to figure out what that means.” His smile grew, finally tearing his eyes away from the stars. He looked between them, and found that they weren’t joking with him. He’d never think he’d go from dating, to sadly single, to being fine with being single, to possibly having two girlfriends. Life was crazy in that way. “Okay,” he said, turning his direction to the stars. It got quiet again, but the conversation started back up when Connie mentioned he didn’t know how to piece together constellations—or something along those lines—but Annie did. She spent the hour before bed teaching them about how to find north, and some constellations that she could find. Mikasa, on the other hand, had a handful of knowledge about astrology, and told her lovers all about it as they turned in for the night. Connie was set in the middle, with his arms around both of them. When college came around, it turns out that Annie was going up north. Mikasa and Connie were also going up north, but for a different college. They decided to buy a two bedroom apartment together and to just commute. It was weird to live with two girls prone to bickering, but Connie was always able to compromise. On top of that, they all were pretty good at communication between each other. When Mikasa was feeling left out, she sent a text explaining herself the best she could, and her two lovers always figured out a way to make it up to her. Same with Annie. The blonde and black haired girls were always able to communication to Connie how they were feeling, and they genuinely listened to Connie when he spoke—especially if he cracked some stupid joke; they love his shitty humor. They loved him. He, of course, loved his two strong girlfriends, and never felt emasculated—he enjoyed watching them outlift in the gym, and was very encouraging. He’s grateful for them, and couldn’t ask for better girlfriends.

#aot #connie springer #ex springles #sasha braus #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #annie leonhardt #ending polyamory #might be occ bc it was early when i wrote this #snk #annie/connie/mikasa #mikonnie #springhardt #attack on titan #cw: long post #cw: disney-style dramatics #my works.mp3

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