#promise i’m here

[calzone-d]

pool day with ted

Sunscreen (Ted Lasso x Fem!Reader)

this was a ‘first pool day with ted and the team’ type deal but it quickly turned into its own fic. thanks anon!!

a/n: idk the word count and this was most definitely not proofread.

tw: alcohol/drinking but that’s it i think!!

find my masterlist here.

——

the team had settled on a beach day, apparently it had been a long time coming.

you and ted had a flirty, teasing relationship that had developed over the past few months and you were looking forward to his reaction of seeing you in your swimsuit.

keeley helped you pick out one that was a little showy but still tasteful, because at the end of the day you did still work with these people.

the trek down to the beach wasn’t bad, and everyone quickly claimed their loungers before heading into the water. ted obviously sat his stuff down next to yours in a heartbeat, which only boosted your confidence. you’d been bantering back and forth all morning, and it had reawakened that longing for something more deep inside you.

after he draped his towel over his chair he quickly got caught up in a conversation with beard and roy. behind him, you made small talk with keeley as you slid your cover up off and applied some sunscreen. ted didn’t miss the way beard and roy glanced over at you while they slightly drifted off from their conversation.

everyone knew ted had a thing for you, especially his fellow coaches, and they couldn’t wait to see his reaction at you in this deep burgundy string bikini. as soon as he turned around to see what caught their attention, you were moving towards him with a bottle of sunscreen in your hands.

“ted, can you get my back please?”, your smile almost made him faint. he couldn’t stop the way his eyes slowly flickered down your body as he sputtered, trying to remain respectful while falling victim to his mind’s instincts.

keeley had conveniently walked off to talk to a few of the players and helped them set up their beach volleyball game.

ted’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he cleared his throat, “oh- uh, yeah I can.. yeah.”

you slyly but your lip and watched him take the tube of sunscreen with shaky hands.

they trembled lightly against your skin as he brushed your hair to the side. you held back a shiver at the feeling, hoping he didn’t notice the goosebumps that scattered across your skin.

thankfully everyone else had seemed to drift into their own conversations as he worked the lotion into your back. he was uncharacteristically quiet, and seemed to rub it in for far longer than he probably needed to.

you didn’t dare say anything to him, but after a few more seconds he seemed pleased with his work. either that or he couldn’t handle having his hands on you any longer.

“there you go, angel.”, your cheeks flushed at the nickname he’d picked up over the past few weeks.

ted tossed the tube of sunscreen back into your bag, expecting you to run off to meet keeley. in an attempt to stop himself from scaring you off, he didn’t say another word and turned to find beard.

“wait, ted!”, he quickly turned around at the sound of your voice.

your heart pounded in your chest as you made a move on him. a small move, but enough to make you feel like you’re going to shit your pants nonetheless.

“you don’t- did you put sunscreen on yet?”

“uh, no.. i didn’t. usually just bypass it n’deal with the burn later.”

your eyebrows crinkled at him. “c’mere ted..”

there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d be able to resist you calling his name like that.

you would’ve thought ted was just learning how to walk by the way he awkwardly stumbled towards you. wanting him to relax, you coaxed him to sit down.

“here, sit..”, he sat on the edge of the beach chair while you got on your knees behind him.

after his back was to you, he slipped his thin t-shirt over his head. you didn’t miss the way his biceps flexed as he pulled it off, and you definitely didn’t even try stopping your eyes from trailing over his broad shoulders. a deep blush spread across your cheeks as you imagined them towering over you.

sure, you had a hefty appreciation for them underneath his clothes, but now? it took all the strength you had not to press soft kisses to the light freckles scattered on his skin.

trailing your eyes down, there was no way you were going to look over his love handles. you knew he was kind of insecure about being a bit out of shape, but if he only knew how bad you wanted to grab onto him. they seemed perfectly molded for your hands.

before he could grow suspicious you cleared your throat and grabbed the tube of sunscreen.

you put a healthy amount of the sunscreen in your hands and rubbed it between your palms in an attempt to warm it up. still, when your hands made contact with ted’s shoulders, he jumped.

the sunscreen could’ve been boiling hot and he still would’ve jumped solely from the feeling of your hands on him.

your hand on his arm after a funny joke was already almost too much, but he was certain the feeling of your hands on his bare skin would bring him to an early death.

ted’s shoulders were still tense as you rubbed the sunscreen in.

“you okay, coach?”

“me? oh, uh- i’m good. m’fine ‘n dandy over here”, his awkward chuckle made your heart beat a bit faster.

even in the sweltering heat, you swore you felt goosebumps under your fingertips as they ran back and forth over his broad shoulders. mentally, you mapped out each little freckle, trying to commit it to memory.

moving your hands back towards his neck, you applied more pressure, “relax, ted..”

he was quiet now as he slowly relaxed his shoulders and let out the breath he was holding. the sunscreen had been rubbed in, at this point you were basically giving him a massage. thank god it was just the two of you, because surely one of the other coaches would’ve slid a knowing remark in somewhere.

the feeling of him just breathing underneath your bare hands had you feeling all fuzzy. by the time your hands got to his mid back, there was no more sunscreen.

you pulled away to get more, and if you listened close enough you swear ted whimpered at the loss of contact. he turned around but as soon as he realized you were just getting more, he settled. in the back of his mind he was hoping and praying you didn’t notice how desperate he seemed.

it’s not even that he was desperate, he was just desperate for you.

he let out another deep breath as your hands worked the muscles of his lower back, and you were so happy to see him finally relax.

“feel good, teddy?”

ah, there it was. the nickname you reserved for moments where you really wanted to tease him and see him blush. no matter how ted his cheeks got, he couldn’t deny that he loved it.

“y-yeah.. feels amazing, hun.”

now it was your turn to blush at the pet names. ted slowly slipped into the habit of calling you “hun” after finding you upset in your office after work one day. there was no doubt the coaches and team had picked up on it, but you were lucky enough that they didn’t say anything to your faces.

he didn’t want to stop calling you that. it was the closest he could get to doting on you. a nicknamed reserved for him to call you.

and you sure as hell didn’t mind. all you could manage back was a sweet hum and a tiny shuffle towards his back. ted leaned back ever so slightly in a poor attempt to meet you halfway.

before you could open your mouth, sam’s voice interrupted you.

“coach! do you want to come play beach volleyball with us?”

now, all eyes were on you and ted. well, most eyes.

“oh, uh.. sure thing, sam! be right there!”, he turned around after watching sam walk off.

“think i’m protected from the sun now?”, he teased with a smirk.

your chuckle made his heart pound as you replied, “for a little while at least. come back in about an hour though, yeah? don’t want you getting burnt.”

ted stuttered a bit at that. he was used to the light teasing and flirty banter, but definitely wasn’t used to the idea of someone taking care of him. not even someone wanting to take care of him. if he hadn’t already been in love with you before, he sure as hell would’ve been now.

his silence scared you, but luckily he spoke before you could sputter out an awkward apology.

“y-yeah, okay. better be waitin’ for me, missy.”, thankfully he turned away after winking at you because if not, he would’ve seen you internally combust.

you watched him walk away and bit your lip watching his calf muscles flex as he walked through the sand. the way his biceps flexed as he caught the volleyball almost made you moan. before you could get any further into your thoughts, keeley walked over with the cooler you two had packed.

“oooh, looking at your man, huh?”, her voice was cheeky as always. she sat in the chair beside you and tossed you a seltzer and a can holder to put it in.

“my man? yeah, okay.”

“oh, babe, stop that. i just watched you rub sunscreen on his shoulders for twenty minutes like you were in some porno.”

“that- he didn’t want to get sunburnt!”, your voice went up about four octaves.

“yeah yeah, whatever you say babe.”, she teased. you two got settled in the beach chairs and sipped on your drinks while you had some girl time.

keeley gave you the latest on her and roy while you both worked on a pretty strong buzz.

an hour and a half later, the buzz turned into being straight up drunk. keeley had you cackling at a well-timed sex joke before changing the conversation.

“ooh, y/n, look! here comes your work husband.”, although her voice was relatively quiet it suddenly seemed like she was screaming.

“keeley- what.. don’t-“

keeley giggled and relaxed back into her seat while you turned to face ted.

he looked like a dream walking towards you. a sheer layer of sweat had made its way to his forehead and shoulders, and his chest was heaving. you hadn’t really gotten a good look at his figure from the front until now, and being drunk made it so much worse.

dark hair was scattered across his chest and belly with some grey sprinkled in here and there. he wasn’t ripped, but was working the dadbod in all its fashion. those shoulders were just as broad from the front.

the sunglasses you were wearing were your saving grace, because you felt like a straight up perv the way you were basically eye-fucking him. you could only imagine what the hair across his belly lead to. does he keep it trimmed? does his-

your thoughts were interrupted once he got closer.

“hi ladies!”

“oh, hello ted! having fun yet?”, keeleys voice sounded so knowing. there was no way she didn’t sense you checking him out.

“oh yeah! that lil’ game we had goin’ on got me out of breath though. think i might go see what roy ‘n beard are up to in the water here in a second.”

your head was spinning as he sat down next to you on the edge of your chair. not only were you pretty drunk, but he was sitting so much closer than he was earlier. even the slightest touch of his thigh against yours had you dizzy.

“m’ready for my sunscreen now, madam.”, ted said cheekily. you drunkenly giggled at him and sat up to grab the sunscreen. with your movements being slightly hindered, you stayed sitting criss cross applesauce and just shuffled towards him. he turned his back to you as you got a handful of sunscreen.

keeley announced her plans of going to the bathroom before leaving the two of you alone.

without your filter to stop you, you blurted out, “i like your freckles, teddy.”

you couldn’t even regret it at this point.

“yeah? i honestly forget about ‘em. cant really see back there, ya know?”, ted laughed.

what he said was typically funny but your drunk mind found his words hilarious in the moment, and you couldn’t stop the giggles that left your mouth.

“what’s got you laughin’ like that, hun? s’it me?”, he sounded amused and you’re sure he had a smile to match his tone.

without thinking you let yourself lean forward and press your cheek to his back as you kept giggling. between the laughing and alcohol you couldn’t even find it in you to be embarrassed or pull away. it felt too nice, even with the greasy sunscreen. it was ted.

your hands had dropped down to his sides, but you didn’t pull them away. luckily, ted seemed to have the same idea. as you giggled away, he brought his hands down to cover yours and giggled with you.

ted had been dreaming of being this close to you for so long. so touch starved, but only for you. a swarm of butterflies fluttered around in his stomach as your eyelashes fluttered similarly against the skin of his back.

he didn’t move his hands even after your laughter died down.

“yeah, you’re pretty funny, teddy. jus’ a funny guy.”

he didn’t miss the way your words were slightly slurred as your spoke. you felt like a deer in headlights as he turned around.

“woah now, you okay there hun?”

cue the giggles again. “m’fine teddy. wait, turn around i think i missed-“

his hands grabbed at yours again, “promise?”. the crease in his eyebrows appeared when they furrowed. although you should’ve been responding, you found yourself even admiring the wrinkles on his face, sending you into another fit of giggles. you were so far gone for this man.

“yes, coach”, you huffed sarcastically with a fake salute.

ted laughed, a good belly laugh you always loved to hear, and turned around. he shook his head as he laughed, but it was full of admiration.

you lazily rubbed sunscreen into the places you previously missed and let out a yawn.

“tired?”

“mm”, you hummed, “just comfy”.

you let your hands fall softly to the skin above his waist as you scooted closer to him and pressed yourself against his back again. this time, it wasn’t just your face. after you got settled you had to basically wrap your arms around his middle with how close you were.

it didn’t dawn on you until now that keeley had been gone longer than expected, but you silently thanked her for giving you some alone time with ted.

you settled with one hand wrapped against his belly, and the other one resting against the back of his leg. one of his hands came up to hold yours that was pressed against him, silently keeping it there.

instead of speaking, you smiled a soft smile and nuzzled further into his back, knowing he’d understand the silent ‘i like this’.

you played with the fabric of his swim shorts where your hand was sitting behind his thigh, and your eyes fluttered closed against his back.

it felt like you were high, with the way your head was spinning and you were pressed up against ted. you could feel him breathing, feel his bare skin against your cheek. your senses were overwhelmed with him, and it was dizzying.

ted was in another world of his own. the way you softly nuzzled into his back after he held your arm to his abdomen was just the reassurance he needed. even in the heat, your warmth felt like heaven to him. the way your dainty fingertips played with his shorts almost had him squirming.

surprisingly, when keeley came back neither of you made an effort to move.

“wh- oh. welcome back to me”

ted was silent, but your giggles were enough of an answer for her. being the good friend she is, she silently sipped her drink and opened up her book. you knew she wasn’t reading, but you loved her even more for pretending to.

ted’s fingers had begun tracing over the skin of your hand, and you flexed your fingers into the skin of his belly. the hair was scratchy but his skin felt so soft. it was so him.

“coach!”, beard yelled from the water. you tensed slightly, but relaxed at the feeling of ted gently squeezing your hand.

beard had started his trek up to where you were sitting, and your heart leaped when ted made no attempt to move.

“do you…”, beard trailed off as he eyed ted before giving him a sneaky thumbs up. “..want to come check out the water?”.

this was code for: you need to come here and tell us all about this, and how we’ve been right.

“yeah, i’ll.. yeah.” ted seemed almost sad as he softly patted your hand that was still holding tightly to him.

“i’ll be there in a sec, beardo.”, ted gave beard a single nod before turning back to you.

that was code for: hold up, i cant leave it like this

you softly pouted at him without even realizing it. “m’gonna go see what they’re all about over there, hun. i’ll be back okay?”, his voice was soft and gentle as always. but now, it just felt a bit different. good different.

ted watched as your eyes trailed down to where he was still holding your hand.

“come back for more sunscreen, ‘kay?”

“what if I just wanna come see you?”

you felt like you were going to combust. right there on the beach in the public eye.

“mmm” you hummed contently, “i guess that’ll be okay.”. ted laughed at your sarcasm and gave your hand a squeeze.

“drink some water, darlin’. i’ll be back in a bit. holler if you need me, okay?”

you nodded up at him, “mkay, teddy.”. he stared at you with eyes full of adoration while he watched you settle back into your beach chair.

“keeley, make sure she gets some water, will you please?”

keeley gave him a very overdramatic salute, “sir, yes sir.” as he walked away, sending the two of you into a laughing fit.

once it died down, she turned to face you. “c’mon. you cant even deny it anymore!”

you smiled hard and giggled once more, “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“teddy?”, she replied. “darling? he is totally your man.”

thanks for reading!

[hamletthedane]

I keep seeing ads for cotton candy flavored vape pods on tumblr and it made me wonder…

Why/Why not in the tags?

I’m interested because I feel like when I was in high school/college in the mid-10s, almost nobody smoked - even if you otherwise had some pretty hard vices. I think it was considered not really worth it for something with such a small buzz. But now, idk. Maybe the advertisers are right to target people here because it’s just that popular again??

(Reblog for a bigger sample size etc etc.)

[gothamslostboy]

POLL TWO HERE

REBLOG FOR BIGGER SAMPLE SIZE BC IK YALL MOSTLY GOING FOR VAMPIRE AROUND HERE

[pixlokita]

(｀ω´)👌

[real-skel]

I flung out of bed to make this shit

[v-albion]

Happy (late) Pride!!!

Ps. Lee was 6 years old when Big Mama rediscovered him. Before she found him, the staffs all refered to him as ‘the turtle’, ‘it’, or the occasional ‘she’ because of their only reference of turtle yokai, Frida, is female. When Mama had him examined, the doctor said he was assigned female. He was in the closet for about a couple year or so, and came out when he’s around 8. He’s currently 15 years old.

Masterpost

[wyyvoren]

You have just returned to your own world. Your hunger is no longer able to be satisfied by your cheap pleasures as it once was. You know what you lack now. It kills you, thinking of that version of you that is loved. The version of you that was good.

[revvethasmythh]

Thinking about Caleb “I-use-people’s-full-names-to-show-intimacy” Widogast and the way he calls Veth “Veth the Brave.” It’s not all the time—it’s rarely used, actually, saved for specific moments, only when he’s using the fondest of tones, with the most admiration, and how calling her that is more intimate than just “Veth Brenatto.” Because Veth the Brave is both of her identities. It’s Nott and it’s Veth, it’s their co-mingling, it’s her in her entirety. Veth the Brave. That’s why it’s so intimate, because he is speaking to all of who she is

[scattered-under-moonlight]

Deadpool and Wolverine (2024)

[ydteus]

Saint of Joy | Saint of Patience

I got brainrot

[3584-tropical-fish]

Not that anyone asked but looking at a.) the fact that Carpenter says that it’s clay being torn from the riverbank by the floodwaters of the White Gull and b.) The Hjulström Curve:

We can determine that the flow velocity of the White Gull River in TSV45 was approximately 150-300 cm/s.

What does this mean? Absolutely nothing, I’m going to be so honest. I just find this amusing

[adhdandcomics]

perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

[chryza]

Ifrit shows up after LT wearing a gimmick t-shirt ‘liberated’ from the Rhine gift shop that says “Tested and Certified by Rhine Labs, LLC” and Silence about passes out

[mxttellion]

augh . this trope (?) has my heart

[slytherinslut0]

not to be horny on main or anything because i’ve definitely never done that before but i truly think everyone wants to fuck mattheo riddle until that man has fucked you three times in one day and still wants another round because he genuinely just can’t get enough of your body like literally the man just needs to be inside you like he’d fucking perish off the earth if he went longer than a few hours without burying himself in your warmth and even though you’re starting to get sore there’s simply just no goddamn chance you could ever resist him because the way he’s cooing filth in your ear about how he’ll be gentle and how he’ll fuck you slow as he has you pinned underneath him with both of your wrists held down against the mattress while he nips and kisses and sucks at your neck is enough to shatter your resolve and empty your brain of any rational thoughts replacing them with none other than pure primalized lust and without even realizing it you’re quivering and whining and begging him to get back inside you.

[merciawintersageposting]