#prolly will add them later
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outletcrash · 3 months ago
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added more to the lil pixel art doodle i made a bit ago :))
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padfootastic · 1 year ago
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i’m having harry + jilypad parenting thoughts again
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keeps-ache · 2 months ago
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alright, perhaps it is time to start colourmaxxing
#just me hi#okay so i got an mp3 player for m birthday (yippee !! woohoo :D) and the earphones i got w/ them don't fit in my. ears hgkfjs#like the left one is fine but my right ear is too small for the bud.. and it's not one of those ones with the rubber thing so i can't fix#the sizing lol </3#anyway so i'm looking for earbuds that won't explode if an ant touches them lol ; i found some that come in blueeee#my player is red.. i Could just get black.. but clownmode starts Now lmfvhsh#/yea so the player situation;#it has radio (YAYYY 💫💥💫💥💫) but it can't hop on any wifi so i have to download onto my computer and then onto the thang#which is okay. or WOULD be [dun dun] if i didn't put every song i liked ever into one playlist Lmaofjvshj#400+ songs in one playlist Is difficult.. and i still have some character playlists i wanna add lollllll#so doing that rn.. oohoo...#i've managed to get it down to like 294 which is cool but i am hanging on to groups of songs i do not care about for some reason kfhsvbh#cuz i add music in clumps so everything is in 'groups' that only i can see lol :)#i don't wanna spend a bajillion years downloading this stuff thoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh houuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#ofc there are groups that simply cannot go. like the whiteboard sections and that entire coin album Lmaoo#but also man i don't think i'm in the brain space for this rn pfshv#i am hearing sounds and i do not care. but also i think i do so i just leave them there for future me to check later kfsh#anywho i'm gonna try to get it down to around the 100s#that Does mean i have to removed 94 songs rn tho... difficult decisions really bfsh#//aaaaanywho i'll prolly just save the rest of this for later#i've got other things i should be doing and things i wanna be doing and things i need to do or i'm going to turn into sludge again so hfhs#back at it like always!! i should get some water....#but YEA. toodles :3
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honkowo · 1 year ago
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participated in a silly little rb game the other day and got 3 critters that i thought would look REALLY COOL made into a hybrid heehee
dunno what to call them tho
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dutybcrne · 3 days ago
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Rewatching shows as I try to get to work and now all I can think of is Kae deffo is the type to need a V spontaneous wedding to get hitched with someone, bc chances are otherwise he WILL either psyche himself out or freak out bc sb teased him a bit too much, even if playfully, and the utter MAGNITUDE of what he's about to do will come crashing down on him and he WILL vanish for hours at best
#//Yes; I already started typing away a thing in my notes app jdfbgkfg#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//As his current self stands and as long as he doesn't actually TALK with his s/o; it will for SURE be the case#//And maybe even if he DOES have that communication#//The difference is he might actually have a chance to Actually come back; bc he'd run off w friends in tow instead of vanishing on his own#//Like Ame|ia She.pherd kdjfgdkfg#//But yeah#//He might love his s/o very much but he can't help the extreme nerves he's held damn near all his life tainting things for him#//The best thing to do is prolly never once give him any chance to get stuck in his ownn head or say things that'd set off his fight-flight#//Honestly he'd absolutely HATE not being able to see his s/o the entire time before the wedding for sure#//Would get maddening separation anxiety even a mere room apart the entire time; it'd be AGONIZING#//Wanting so very badly to hold their hand; to hug them so tight and let the feel of them & their voice ground him#//Just keep him and his spouse to be in the same room; that'd be for the best#//Or just#//Like I said earlier; best option of all is just fucken ELOPE with him jhfbfg#//Get married in such a swift whirlwind of a wedding; he won't have TIME nor wits to feel so anxious#//Maybe still will after; but even then; knowing they already ARE married & a few choice words of assurance from them will help soothe him#//Me; personally; I think a wedding a la Will & Elizabeths in p0tc is absolutely PERFECT for him#//No time for your brain to run anxious doomsday scenarios when you get married in the middle of a fucken battle for your lives jhdbdkg#//A proper ceremony can happen later if they still want since they've already tied the knot; so he won't be as anxious abt it anymore#hc; kaeya#//almost forgot to add that lmaooo
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frenchfry99 · 1 year ago
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📺 Turn on your TV or you'll miss the chance to hear from the neighborhood's cheeriest bug! ☀
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In her part of the show, she'd teach kids all different kinds of facts about the weather, why it is like this and what should they do, like how to tell it's gonna rain, sometimes would do little geography lessons which she sure knows a lot about!
Would most definitely advertise various stuff from Howdy's shop that would be useful for the weather she's telling about, like "a new neat umbrella and rain boots for the gloomy soggy days" or "a refreshing cold drink to help with the summer heat!"
You could call Daria quite the fashionista, she likes to pick her attire matching the weather, both in matters of style and comfort. She always makes sure that her neighbors are dressed according to the temperature and etc too, so for example, she better not catch you without your scarf when it's freezing outside- (would give you a lecture why you should wear one and will put her own on you lol)
(most of her outfits are made by my other oc Sunny, a shy tailor who's not big on very chatty and loud people, but him and Daria somehow get along really well!)
Definitely owns a ton of different sunglasses too, it's nearly impossible to see Daria without them.
Daria got into the neighborhood by a storm. Dragonflies are undeniably great at flying but not even they can always predict what they'll get into on their way! But don't worry, she got into trustworthy hands (or wings?-) of neighborhood's mail-bird Sean Gull, could it be love at first sight-
She's transfem, pan and polyamorous
Being overly energetic, Daria sometimes bumps into other neighbors , just not noticing they're standing in the way while she's deep in thought. Would be pretty apologetic if she makes them fall- It'd take her some time to remember where she was heading to too..
She'd also oftenly appear as a star guest at the regular human weather forecast or some scientific geography TV programs :D
(I'll prolly add up more info later as my burnout passes, have a lil doodle of her human ver instead lol)
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hballegro · 4 months ago
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"It's more than something. It's everything."
s8e11 "Life Time"
painted screenshot. cannot give a time estimate, i lost track long ago. still gouache brush, my beloved, with blur tools to fade edges and so on
i have to go to the zoo now and will be making the version with the clock later [i cannot express how long ive been battling with hawkeye's face, gamers]. background went very fast like i said it would lol
version 2 [as in, w/ clock] will probably be done later today, and i will edit this and add it when that happens [and prolly make a separate post too, for celebration purposes, and will link them]. i will also compile progress pics for that post. they are terrifying early on lmao
"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war" previous painting
"It was pink, and perfect, and I tossed it in the scrap bucket" previous painting
everyone say thank you to bj to being a perfect painting subject today he was very polite and he looks about how i wanted unlike SOME PEOPLE
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that was me to my sibling last night, and i stayed up til 1:10ish and still didnt finish the final pass over hawkeye's eye. everything else took like 5ish minutes
also everyone say thank you to margaret and nurse kellye for also being perfect and lovely and pleasant to work with
photo used blatantly stolen from this post thank you again @remyfire i owe you my life
update edit;
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clock back
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justalittlelilac · 1 month ago
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Two days.
You had two days to tell Qiu Lin you were in love with them.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Word Count: 7,750 CW: explicit language, references to drug and underage alcohol use, dissociation, avoidant attachment behavior, depression, general angst, and mental health issues related to self esteem (seriously guys, if you're looking for a 100% feel good OL story, this prolly ain't it...at least this chapter lollll)
Recommended listening: deep by Devon Again, and this playlist I made. Use this link if you wanna add your own songs. I thought it could be fun.
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The drive to Grayson's Family Tree Farm felt longer than it did in past years, the asphalt stretching in front of your car like a long, worn path. Outside the car, the world was a blur of gray and muted browns sprinkled with the spindly skeletal limbs of bare trees. A few tenacious leaves clung stubbornly to branches as if it was autumn's last breath before the land would be blanketed in a thick sheet of snow.
It was as if the world was hesitating, caught briefly between two seasons, just as we cling to fleeting moments already passing, watching them fade like breath in the biting air. Autumn grasping to what remains while winter sweeps in, altering what we know. Quietly, like falling snow, ending all that was.
Tamarack hummed contentedly from the backseat, following along with "White Christmas" playing through the car's speakers. She had commandeered the aux cord as soon as she had buckled her seat belt, her ruby eyes already sparkling. Who were you to deny her that simple pleasure?
Her enthusiasm for the holiday tradition was as infectious as ever - or at least, it should have been. You remembered when her joy used to spark something similar in you, but now it felt like watching a favorite movie with the sound turned down, all the meaning somehow muffled and distant.
Beside you, Qiu sat in the passenger seat, their fingers drumming lightly against their thigh in time with the music. However, there was something off in their rhythm, slight hesitations in the drumming of their fingers that matched the occasional furrow in their brow. Their gaze was fixed on the passing scenery, eyes distant and reflective as if lost in a world only they could navigate.
You observed them from the corner of your eyes, noticing the far-off look about them. It wasn't uncommon for Qiu to seem so scatterbrained, even now, as an adult. Still, it felt out of place for them, and you made a mental note to inquire about the change later on.
The car smelled pleasantly of Tamarack's signature perfume—a blend of vanilla and cinnamon that felt like coming home—and something more subtle and earthy that continued to cling to your coat.
Yesterday evening, the three of you had trekked through the woods behind the Lin's house, your breath misting in the chilly air as you and Qiu passed a shared blunt back and forth. The ritual was an old one, a relic from teenage years when the world felt too big and too small all at once.
Tamarack hadn't participated, but she still tagged along, happy for the company. She'd always said the woods were enough on their own to relax—a sentiment you could appreciate but never quite feel. For you, the haze took the edge off, softening the sharp corners of your thoughts that threatened to cut too deep.
But even that familiar comfort, a ritual years old, felt distant, like the smoke tendrils floating to the dark sky. The buzz had faded too quickly, leaving behind a restless tension coiled beneath your skin and continued to pull taut. You could still picture Qiu's heavy-lidded eyes illuminated by the moonlight, their laughter echoing in the dark, cutting the silence of the sleeping forest around you.
It used to be enough—those stolen moments of teenage rebellion, when it felt like you and Qiu were against the world, to feel that world narrow down to just the two of you. Now, it was a reminder of how temporary everything felt—moments like smoke pluming into the sky.
Even this morning, the familiar ritual hadn't provided its usual escape. Instead of dulling your senses, it had somehow made you more aware of every subtle shift in Qiu's behavior — the way their laughter seemed to catch in their throat, how their eyes would drift away when talking about school, the slight tension in their shoulders when Tamarack mentioned winter break plans.
You felt like an exposed nerve, sensitive to every word from your mouth or theirs. Nervous doubt coated your tongue and brain in a viscous goo until the high began to thankfully ebb.
"You're not gonna get lost again, right, Tamarack?" Qiu's teasing voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, though something in their tone felt forced like they were playing a part they'd rehearsed too many times. From the corner of your eye, you saw the faint smirk tugging at their lips. In the review mirror, you witnessed Tamarack's theatrical eye roll.
"Are you going to bring that up every year?" she groaned. "Plus, I was not lost. I just went off-path to find the best tree. Something you couldn't relate to because the trees you always pick are sad," she harrumphed while crossing her arms.
"They are not sad!" Qiu spun in their seat to glare daggers at Tamarack. Your mutual friend had the best track record of taunting and challenging Qiu, even unintentionally. If it was an Olympic sport, Tamarack Baumann would win gold every time. "They're just… Smaller than yours, that's all!" Qiu protested.
"You mean scrawny, " Tamarack shot back with a self-assured smirk. You huffed a small laugh, keeping your eyes on the road.
Qiu whipped around, and you could practically feel the fire in their faux glare. "I see you snickering!" You couldn't stop the laughter that abrupted from you. One of your hands shot up from the steering wheel in defense.
"Sorry, sorry!" You defended, still laughing. Qiu's eyebrows furrowed.
"You don't think the trees I pick are scrawny, do you?" They asked pleadingly.
"No! They're uh…practical," you tried. The back of the car erupted into a boisterous roar of laughter. With a pout, Qiu crossed their arms and turned their attention back to the window.
"Whatever. I like my trees; they have character," they muttered, but they couldn't hide their smile and pleasantly closed eyes as they rested their head on the glass.
Leave it to Tamarack to turn the tables on Qiu's teasing. The car settled back into silence, save for Tamarack's holiday playlist, and you allowed yourself the smallest of smiles, letting the jolly music fill your ears. Letting the moment of nostalgia somehow ground you in the present.
You knew you were approaching Grayson's tree farm when the black asphalt running beneath your wheels transitioned to dirt and gravel. The familiar sun-bleached sign for the farm came into view, welcoming you into the gravel parking lot.
You pulled in, parking next to the Lin's vehicle and others. The area was full of cars that had carried other families here to complete their own tree-cutting tradition.
Killing the engine, the three of you shuffled out of the car, and you were immediately hit with the strong scents of sap, pine, and wood smoke. Around you was a sea of pine, spruce, and evergreen trees ranging from Charlie Brown specials to towering giants that seemed to scrape the heavy grey sky. They swayed in a slight breeze that carried a sharp bite, the smell of frost, and the promise of possible snow.
You were glad you'd layered up —the morning's weather report had warned of temperatures dropping below freezing, nature's way of announcing winter's impending arrival. Like everything else lately, whether you were ready or not, autumn was slipping away. Rocks crunched under your shoes as you followed Qiu and Tamarack, a route practically worn into the dirt to the small wooden shack that served as the farm's entrance.
It was a quaint old structure with a concession window bordered by twinkle lights and wreaths hanging from the eaves, adding to the rustic charm. Wood smoke plumed from the small cylindrical chimney where a wood-burning stove was likely in use.
There, you would retrieve your tools for the tree, and when you returned with your bounty, you'd share hot chocolate and sit by the campfire nearby. It was, as traditions go, the same every single year.
Your mom, Granny, and the Lins waited bundled in coats and scarves by the entrance. They waved you over with cheery smiles.
It was a rhythm that had been set in stone. A little dull and repetitive, sure, but reliable and comforting in a time when so much had changed. Even when both you and Qiu couldn't have been bothered to do something "so dumb" in your angsty youth, you still partook in it.
Now, when you felt like your world had been turned upside down in a short few weeks, seeing everything in place made you feel…at home.
"Finally, you three showed up. It's about to snow!" Granny's voice carried that familiar mix of chiding and affection as she rubbed her hands together against the cold. From beside you, Tamarack's eyes lit up like the Christmas tree that would be in her living room that night.
"Really? That would be perfect!" She grinned. You found yourself glancing at the heavy clouds above, debating whether that was actually true. It wasn't uncommon for Golden Grove to get snow by now, but the perfect scene it would have created made you doubtful.
"Yes, I suppose, but we should hurry if we want to avoid the brunt of it. I can't stand the cold like I used to," Granny sighed, her joints clearly protesting the chill. The Lins and your mom sighed in agreement, their bones and joints not as impervious to the seasonal change as well You wondered when you would be joining the 'I'm too old for this' club with them.
"We were actually thinking you kids would be okay to go off on your own this year. We trust your judgment," Mom explained with an amused, encouraging smile. The three of you balked at the older adults. In years past, you'd always performed a divide-and-conquer mentality.
"We'll stay here by the fire," Mr. Lin added cheerfully. "That way, we can help with the trees when you get back—and sample the hot chocolate quality, of course." He winked, earning round of laughter. Qiu chuffed slightly with a smirk.
"Sitting with some hot cocoa while we do all the work? Gotcha." Mr. Lin responded with a confirming grin and nod.
"Works for me!" Tamarack exclaimed, ever the optimist. "We'll find the most amazing trees and be back before you know it." Tamarack had already started pulling on your coat, urging you to the shack window to get your things.
"Okay, okay! We're coming," you laughed.
"Just stay within the marked areas," your mom cautioned lightly. "And keep an eye on the weather."
"Yes, ma'am," you replied with a mock salute, earning a smile.
With saws in hand and sleds in tow, you set off into the labyrinth of evergreens. As you stepped into the field of trees, the first snowflakes began to dance down from the sky, almost like falling stars in the daytime. It seemed Granny was right after all.
Although it was quieter in the field, you could hear the sounds of other families searching for their perfect tree. Their distant laughter and excited calls floated through the air like music, and you couldn't help but smile at a small child racing past, their purple boots leaving tiny tracks in the gathering snow. Tamarack excitedly vibrated next to you, shot ahead, and began walking backward to address the two of you.
"Just wait and see. I'm gonna get the best tree, and I'll be the first to do it," she nodded as if she'd already completed the task. Without waiting for a response, she spun around and disappeared down one of the rows, dragging her sled with her.
It was always amusing to see Tamarack like this as an adult. Even though she was careful to not dirty her nice clothes or mess up her hair these days, that spark of a younger Tamarack Bauman refused to be completely snuffed out.
One can never fully get rid of the child inside them.
You and Qiu meandered deeper into the grove, still chuckling over Tamarack. The trees grew together thicker, and the scent of pine was stronger. It brought back memories of all the years before —when things were simpler, when next year felt like a distant concept rather than an approaching reality. A companionable silence fell between you. A quiet that wrapped around you made you feel comfortable if you didn't let your mind wander.
"Hey, if we head to the back, I bet there will be some really good ones," Qiu suggested, their breath visible in the cold air. They were smiling, but something in their voice sounded different—hesitant maybe, or tired. You pushed the observation away, not wanting to crack the pleasant surface of the moment.
"Are we—dare I say—competing with Tamarack?" You asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.
"Maybe not for time, but I think I'll rise to the challenge," Qiu replied with a mischievous glint in their eyes.
"Well then, lead the way," you gestured grandly, a grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. As you walked, the rows became less picked over.
The snow was falling steadier now, dusting Qiu's dark hair with white flecks that caught the weak sunlight. They were quiet, staring at their feet as they walked like they would trip without diligent observation. As if the answer to something important was written on their shoelaces.
"You okay?" You nudged them with your shoulder, spurring them out of their thoughts. Qiu blinked a few times and gave you a sheepish smile.
"Oh, yeah. I'm just thinking about this project due on Monday. I haven't started it yet." Something in the way they said it made you wonder if that was the whole story, but you played along, rolling your eyes.
"You should get on that when we get back," you said, trying to keep your tone lightly teasing despite the subtle reminder of their other life, the one that was pulling them away. Even out here among the trees and memories, their thoughts were there instead of here with you.
Qiu laughed, pulling out their phone. "I will, I will. Look—" their thumbs swiped across the screen. "I'll put it in my calendar and set an alarm right now," they explained.
Over the years, Qiu's loose notes had transitioned to reminders and alarms set in their phone. "See? Happy?" They showed the phone to you. The calendar reminder read, Do your damn schoolwork Qiu!!!
"Ridiculously so," you replied with a genuine smile that made them chuckle.
The moment felt so normal, so them, that it made your chest ache with how much you'd miss these small interactions. But the joy of being here, of participating in this tradition together, was real, too. Both feelings existed simultaneously, like the warm sunlight breaking through the cold winter clouds above.
A traitorous thought that turned your cheeks pink said, It could be like this all the time.
You continued your journey, eventually stopping at the edge of the tree field. Ahead of you was the dark of an actual forest, not suitable for Christmas trees. It was nearly silent there, aside from the breeze rustling the pine branches, causing the now heavier snow to dance around you. It had begun to settle on the trees, a dusting of white against the green.
You approached a promising spruce, testing its branches, but you were disappointed to see that it had shed a good amount of its needles from the jostling.
"Y'know, I forgot how quiet it is here," Qiu said thoughtfully while circling a tree a few feet away. "I kinda miss it," they added. Your heart gave a little jolt at the comment. Qiu missed it here?
"Yeah? That's surprising," you replied, trying to keep your tone neutral as you moved to examine another tree. This one had too many dead branches, nature's small imperfections revealing themselves upon closer inspection.
"How so?" Qiu tilted their head in genuine curiosity. You rolled your eyes, but there was no real bite to it.
"You hate Golden Grove," you stated simply, moving on to the next candidate. "You always said that once you could get out, you're never coming back." The words came out more pointed than you'd intended, hanging in the cold air between you. Qiu frowned, following behind you.
"Well…I mean, yeah, I know, used to say that all the time when we were younger," they objected, absently running their fingers through the needles of a nearby branch.
"It's going to be great, y'know? Finally, get out of this stupid town. You should come to see me for spring break. Get some sun and stuff." They'd said enthusiastically.
The memory of the previous spring hit you suddenly— walking through the park downtown after a movie, the night air warm and full of possibility. It was the first warmer night of the spring season.
The trees had finally burst with their new leaves, and the scent of wet dirt and mulch was constant as you strolled through the empty park. Qiu's acceptance letter to Prism Vista University had come in the mail recently, and it was a common conversation topic.
At the time, you were all smiles, happy to share their excitement, the situation not dawning on you. A distant reality seemed so alternate that it might as well have been science fiction.
"Just this spring, you were talking about how you couldn't wait to leave everything behind," you scoffed the reminder, still examining the tree.
Leave me behind.
"You know…Golden Grove isn't so bad…there's still some good things here," you murmured as you stood, brushing against the lush foliage. You weren't sure what made you say it. The words felt both true and false simultaneously. On one hand, the town was like this tree—imperfect but familiar, rooted in memories.
Qiu laughed, but it wasn't their usual carefree sound. "Okay, you got me there," they admitted.
They were quiet for a moment, seeming to be gathering their thoughts. You knelt to examine the base of a particularly full spruce, brushing snow from its lower branches.
On the other hand, that was the problem. Golden Grove offered nothing except memories and stagnant change that you clung onto like a lifeline. A knot of selfish guilt burrowed in your gut like you were trying to sell them on the too-small pond that they were clearly too big for.
That their hesitation meant something.
The silence that followed felt heavy with unspoken words. You could feel Qiu's eyes on you, knew they could see through any pretense you might try to maintain. They'd always been able to read you like that, even when you couldn't read yourself.
The gentle rustle of the pine needles and the soft crunch of the snow beneath their boots filled the air until you felt the warmth of Qiu standing next to you. You heard the smallest laugh from them, and as you turned from the tree, you were met with an amused smile.
"You uh…got something—"Qiu started, their hand gentle as they reached out and brushed the snow and pine needles from your hair. The casual touch made your skin tingle. Briefly, your eyes met, and something in Qiu's smile looked different from just a few moments before.
"You're right, though," they said, shoving their hand back into their pocket. "There are still some really nice things in Golden Grove."
The way Qiu rocked back on their heels made you pause, something vulnerable in their posture that reminded you of younger days when they'd try to make it seem like they didn't care as much. They crossed the snowy path to investigate another tree, their voice carrying a too-casual tone.
"I mean, duh, you're here," they said, then quickly added, "And Tamarack, mom and dad, friends from school. But that's what makes leaving worthwhile, right? You get to value what you leave behind more." They weren't looking at you as they spoke, their attention seemingly fixed on the tree's branches. "Like, I wouldn't appreciate the quiet here if I wasn't living in the city."
"Right," you replied, turning away to hide whatever expression might be betraying your thoughts, hoping that would end the conversation. Unfortunately, Qiu wasn't finished.
"Just like being here makes me appreciate Prism Vista all over again, makes me excited to go back," they added quickly, then hesitated. "Sure, it can be lonely sometimes, but it's not all bad."
That made you pause, your hand freezing on a branch. It was the first time they'd admitted to any difficulty. You turned to look at them, really look at them, and noticed the slight tension in their shoulders, the way they were still avoiding your gaze. Hyperfocused on their tree.
"Well, you know how it is," they shrugged. "It's easy to be invisible around so many people in a place like that. But, you can reinvent yourself in a way, though." They gave you a small smile, like that would reassure you.
"Lonely?" you echoed. The possibility that Qiu felt lonely turned the knife in your chest deeper because that awful part of you had hope that they felt the same way you did. You hated it. You hated yourself.
Snow continued falling around you, each flake carrying its own silence. The holiday cheer from other families felt distant now, muffled by the weight of the moment.
"Qiu…" you started, your heart hammering against your ribs, "do you ever sometimes wish things were different? Like things had ended up different for us?" The quiet words came out before you could stop them. Now, they hung in the air like precarious icicles. Threatening to fall and cause damage any second.
"What do you mean?" Qiu's question was tentative, their brows furrowing.
You stared at your boots, watching as snowflakes disappeared into the leather. "Just… I don't know, maybe things could've been different." The veiled words felt both too heavy and too light, carrying years of unspoken thoughts.
Qiu was quiet for a long moment, their breath visible in the cold air. "I mean, sure, for some things," they finally said. "But I don't know; it seems like everything happens for a reason. Like, if I'd never gone to PVU, I wouldn't have met Micah or got to see Baxter again. If you had never come to Golden Grove, we wouldn't be friends, and I definitely don't want that to be different," they laughed.
You knew it wasn't exactly rejecting your unsaid proclamation, but it still paused you. Still hurt.
You tried to smile, to match their lightness. "Right, that would have been terrible." But the words tasted sour, bitter like pine needles on your tongue. Qiu's eyes lingered on you a moment longer before their attention was pulled away.
"Hey! What about this one, huh?" Qiu pointed at the tree they had been circling. Thankful for the distraction from the uncomfortable tightness in your chest, you followed their gaze.
"That could work. It's not too scrawny," you teased, managing a genuine smile when Qiu rolled their eyes. The familiar banter felt like stepping onto solid ground after walking on ice. You considered the tree you'd been absent-mindedly investigating.
You patted its branches affectionately. "I think I'm going with this one." The tree was full but manageable, perfect for your mom's collection of mismatched ornaments that you both had picked out from second-hand shops and discount stores over the years.
"Nice!" Qiu's enthusiasm brightened their face, making your heart skip. They unlooped the sled strap and dropped the saw at the base of their tree. "Let's cut 'em down!" Qiu's enthusiasm was contagious, and you found yourself laughing along with them. The two of you got into position, kneeling on the ground and readying the saw.
The first few minutes were easy. The saw glided smoothly through the wood. You worked in comfortable silence, falling into the rhythm you'd developed over years of sharing this tradition. The teeth of your saw bit and caught, making it difficult to go halfway through.
"There you guys are! I thought I was going to have to leave you," Tamarack said brightly. You could hear the crunch of pine needs and snow under her boots as her sled came to a stop not too far behind her.
"You left us in the first place!" Qiu's voice was muffled under their tree branches, but their laughter was clear.
"True. I didn't think you'd go so far, though. Need any help?" Tamarack offered, already moving to assist without waiting for an answer. Her presence filled the space with warmth like she always did.
When both trees finally lay on the ground, you all stood back to admire your work. The success of the hunt filled you with that particular satisfaction that came from completing something together, even as part of you wondered how many more times you'd get to share this kind of moment.
You and Tamarack worked together; the rhythmic push and pull of the saw synced up with your breaths. From behind, you heard Qiu's tree come free, and they released a sigh of relief.
The saw cut through more smoothly now with Tamarack's help, bringing you closer and closer to your prize. The sharp, sweet smell of sap filled your nostrils, and your muscles burned pleasantly, two very welcome distractions from the thoughts swirling in your brain.
"Too bad you were last in the race," Tamarack nudged you playfully, "but we got there eventually." Her smile was teasing, and you scoffed, gathering up the rope of your sled.
You and Qiu secured your trees to the sleds, the ropes familiar in your hands from years of practice. The gathering snow made the paths slicker, but your trio moved back toward the lot with practiced ease. The sound of your trees gliding over the fresh powder mixed with Tamarack and Qiu's chatter about evening plans.
"So, I want to start with the special ornaments first this year," Tamarack was saying, already planning the tree decorating party at her house. "And I found this new cookie recipe I want to try—they're supposed to look like little snow globes!"
Another part of the Tamarack Holiday Special. The three of you would decorate the evergreen with Granny's antique heirloom baubles, eat more sweets than you could handle, watch corny Hallmark holiday movies, and have a sleepover.
Despite everything, you were looking forward to it and allowed yourself a genuine smile, thinking about the event ahead. As you neared the entrance, Qiu pulled out their phone, a small smile tugging at their lips as they read the screen.
"Who's that?" you asked curiously.
"Just Micah," Qiu answered, thumbs moving quickly across the screen. "They're checking in about this project we are doing. It's part of this year-long freshmen seminar class we have to do for our major." They slowed their pace to finish typing, the gap between you and them growing. You nodded the word, "Micah," making your eye twitch slightly.
"Oh, Micah?" Tamarack's voice brightened with recognition. "I remember you telling us about him. Maybe he can visit during Christmas break, and we can all meet then!" Her suggestion was genuine, full of her characteristic openness to new friends.
You blinked a few times and swallowed the sudden dryness in your throat. You were not jealous of Micah. That would be ridiculous and incredibly immature.
They were just classmates, sharing the same major, same classes…same daily life that you couldn't be part of anymore…and responding immediately to each other's texts…
Qiu's hesitation was subtle but unmistakable.
"Well, maybe. Micah actually suggested staying on campus over the winter break with our group to iron out some ideas for the project. There's just a lot to do…and I want to make sure it gets done."
The words hit you like how a cold blast of air can steal your breath.
"You're not coming back for the holidays?" you blurted without thinking, your sled coming to a crunching halt.
Qiu glanced at you, a hint of hesitation in their eyes before they pulled their gaze away from you to look at Tamarack, who had also halted. "I haven't decided yet," they explained with a careful plainness. "They're depending on me, and everyone else said they could stay. So…it made sense. I dunno…" they said, trailing off and offering a shrug.
You watched Tamarack's smile fade slightly, her usual brightness dimming like a candle in the wind. She looked between the two of you, reading the tension with the intuition she'd developed over years of being caught between your occasional storms.
"It'll be here when you come back," she offered diplomatically, though her voice carried a note of disappointment. For a moment, the shy, unsure Tamarack Baumman returned.
A flash of annoyance washed over you as your eyes snapped to Qiu. It was one thing for them to make you feel brushed aside, it was another to make Tamarack feel it. Your friend who'd spent most of her life trying to find a place when it was like she had none.
"It's not like that. We're just…working well together."
"Right. Sounds like Micah's got you pretty wrapped up," you bit, unable to keep the pointed edge from your voice.
Qiu's eyes narrowed before softening into that maddeningly gentle look they sometimes gave you, like they could see right through your defenses. As soft as the snow falling around you…it upset you now. How could they look look at you in such a way when they were leaving you?
"Sure," you muttered, picking your pace back up and quickening it. Bitter bile settled in your throat, but you couldn't swallow it back. You passed the rest of your waiting families without stopping, heading straight for the payment shack. Behind you, you could hear Tamarack calling out.
"Woah, wait up!" She met you halfway between the shack and your car. "What's the rush?"
"Just want to get this tied down," you said, not meeting her eyes.
She searched your face with concern before she nodded softly in understanding, not pushing it further. Behind you, you could hear Qiu's footsteps slow, the distance between you stretching.
The rest of the afternoon blurred at the edges, like looking through a frosted window. You went through the motions—securing the tree to the car, drinking hot chocolate that you barely tasted, and adding half-hearted laughter to your mom's jokes. But inside, a numbness was spreading, dulling the edges of everything until you felt disconnected as if watching someone else's life unfold from afar.
Of course, Qiu wouldn't come back. Of course, they'd choose to stay with their brilliant new friends, working on important projects. You desperately wanted to be understanding, but that darker part of your head was insistent.
You wished you could be surprised. But you felt stupid because the last few weeks had shown that you were just a remnant from their past they'd eventually outgrow. Like the trees in the farm that sprouted too tall and strong for their original plot, Qiu had flourished beyond the confines of Golden Grove while you remained rooted in hard soil, too afraid to reach for something more.
If they weren't coming home for Christmas, maybe they weren't coming home for spring break. Then, if they weren't coming home for spring break, they may decide to stay for the summer, too.
You couldn't choose which would be worse, that Qiu would never come home or that they would, and you would be strangers.
The sad, small tree with the spindly bare branches too weak to hold cheerful baubles.
The drive back to the neighborhood felt endless. Sensing the tension, Tamarack filled the space with nervous chatter, but eventually, she even fell silent. Qiu stared out the window, their reflection a blurred silhouette against the darkening sky.
The cheerful Christmas music that filled the car's silence felt mocking now. It was sound coming from another universe entirely, one where everything made sense, people didn't leave, and you weren't slowly disappearing into the static in your head. Your hands gripped the steering wheel too tightly, but the pressure helped ground you in your increasingly foggy reality.
The tension continued as you parked in the cul-de-sac and even through the unloading of the trees. Your mom paused to look at you as you both propped your tree against the porch. Her gaze drifted to Tamarack and Qiu, who were waiting quietly in front of the Baumann's house. She smiled softly at you but didn't mention the expression you must be holding. Even if she knew something was wrong, she knew even better to let you come to her about it rather than push.
The warm light from the front window of Tamarack's house illuminated the darkening neighborhood as you approached and stood with the other two awkwardly.
"So… I'm gonna go get stuff ready if you're still coming in," Tamarack started, her voice careful, like she was talking to a spooked animal. She'd seen you like this before, during those harder years when everything felt too much, and escape seemed like the only option.
As she disappeared through the front door, the world around you grew impossibly quiet. The kind of silence that only comes with falling snow. Each flake drifted down like a tiny secret, gathering on Qiu's hair and shoulders. The yellow porch light cast long shadows across the snow, and you watched your breath cloud in the air between you, counting the seconds like heartbeats.
"Yeah, you can get started without us for a moment," Qiu answered, their gaze steady on you.
You could feel them trying to read you, just like they used to during those nights when you'd both sneak out before they'd learned to spread their wings and you'd learned to build higher walls. Tamarack's eyes swiveled between the two of you, and with a small smile, she nodded and headed inside.
"Can we talk?" Qiu asked softly, their voice barely carrying through the heavy stillness.
You could hear the muffled sound of Granny talking inside, Christmas music floating faintly through the windows, but it felt like you and Qiu were miles away from it.
Qiu shifted their weight from one foot to the other, their boots making soft impressions in the fresh snow. The nervous gesture was foreign to you. You'd seen Qiu nervous, but different from this.
Your mind was already racing ahead, a familiar static building behind your eyes. You recognized this feeling—the way your thoughts started to scatter like startled birds, how your skin felt too tight, and how the world began to take on that distant, dreamy quality that used to signal the beginning of another bad decision.
"About what?" you replied, though you knew exactly what they wanted to discuss. Your voice sounded strange to your ears as if it was coming from somewhere far away. You fixed your gaze on the snow gathering on Tamarack's mailbox, watching it build up crystal by crystal, anything to avoid meeting Qiu's eyes.
"About what's going on with you. You've been distant, and I feel like," Qiu paused, searching for words in the space between snowflakes. "I don't know."
You clenched your jaw, feeling the heat rise up your neck despite the cold. Anger was familiar territory — an old friend that had gotten you into trouble more times than you could count. It started as a spark in your chest, spreading like wildfire through your limbs until your fingers tingled with it.
This was better than the numbness, better than the fog. Anger made you feel solid and real, even as some distant part of you recognized it as a defense mechanism, a wall to hide behind.
"Funny. I was thinking the same thing." The words came out sharp and hot like sparks from a fire. You shoved your hands in your pockets, curling them into fists. The plastic fin of your dolphin keychain practically pierced your palm.
Without really deciding to, you turned toward your house, muttering something about getting clothes for the sleepover. It was a paper-thin excuse, and you both knew it. Your heart was pounding now, blood rushing in your ears, drowning out the peaceful quiet of the falling snow.
You didn't know why you were choosing now to be an asshole and to Qiu of all people, but the pulling ache of anger and subsequent guilt in you was overstimulating now. A feeling that had your skin itching.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Their voice held a note of frustration now, but underneath it was something else - concern maybe, or hurt. You couldn't let yourself think about that too much. Couldn't let yourself soften around the edges when anger was the only thing keeping you upright.
You took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. "Y'know, honestly, it doesn't matter since you're so concerned with not even being around to find out," you stated in a tight voice.
The silence that followed felt like glass about to break. You could see Qiu's reflection in your car window, their face a mixture of surprise and something else that made your chest tighten further, making the anger burn hotter. Did they pity you?
"Is that what you really think? That I'm trying to get away?" They took a step toward you, snow crunching under their boots. The sound seemed too loud in the quiet, making you flinch internally even as you held your ground. You turned and gestured to them casually as if it should be obvious.
"It seems pretty clear to me," you said, feeling the hurt and frustration vibrate through you and bubble under the surface.
Qiu stared at you for a long moment, their brows furrowing. "Y'know, you can act really stupid sometimes."
The words hit like a slap, and the anger that had been simmering beneath your surface exploded into something white-hot and dangerous. It was the kind of anger that used to lead to sneaking out windows, bad decisions in worse company, and nights you still couldn't quite remember.
"Stupid? You think I'm stupid? Qiu Lin, you're the stupid one! Fuck off," you hissed, the static in your head reaching a crescendo. Your vision seemed to tunnel, the edges of the world going soft and dark while the rage remained crystal clear at the center.
You knew you were being unreasonable, that your anger was misplaced, but you couldn't stop it. It felt better than the numbness, better than the fear, better than admitting how much it hurt to watch them outgrow you. Better than accepting your love for them was doomed from the start.
"I'm sorry," they said, running a hand over their face. We just haven't fought like this in years, and it just reminded me of how dumb we used to be." Their expression softened. "Is that really how you feel? What you said before, I mean."
To your surprise, Qiu laughed.
It wasn't cruel or mocking but soft and genuine, cutting through your anger like sunlight through storm clouds. The unexpected response made you falter, the rage momentarily giving way to confusion. The white-hot iron inside you cooling.
"You're my best friend," Qiu said simply.
The gentleness in their voice made your anger waver, threatening to expose everything you were trying to hide beneath it.
"I—I just miss you, I guess," you managed, your voice smaller than you intended. You stared at the ground, watching snow collect on your boots, unable to meet their eyes.
"Am I? Am I just that?" The words escaped before you could stop them, your voice cracking slightly. "Or is the better question, am I even that anymore?" Shit. This was dangerous territory, the kind of vulnerability that made your skin crawl. The static in your head grew louder, urging you to run, to hide, to do anything but stand here, exposed in the snow.
"What? Of course, you are," Qiu's eyes widened with concern. "Please, can we just talk about this?" Something in their tone made you pause—a note of desperation you weren't used to hearing from them. "Why are you shutting me out?" they asked gently, and the softness in their voice felt like sandpaper against your raw nerves.
You swallowed hard, tasting copper. "Because it hurts too much, I think." The vulnerability in your quiet voice was a razor's edge, and you hated how true the words felt.
"You can talk to me. I'm right here," Qiu insisted, taking another step closer.
You scoffed, the sound bitter in your throat. "For now." The fire of your anger was cooling, leaving behind something worse - that hollow feeling you'd been trying to avoid.
"I…" They hesitated, snow gathering on their shoulders and sticking like second thoughts. "I honestly thought going away would help me figure things out," they admitted.
"Figure what out?" you asked, surprise momentarily overriding your defenses.
Qiu looked away, their gaze drifting over the now-dark neighborhood. "Everything. Who I am. What I want."
"And have you?" The question was barely audible over the sound of your heart pounding.
They shook their head. "No. Honestly, if anything, I'm more confused."
You wanted to reach out, touch their hand, bridge the gap between you. But fear held you back, holding you in place like ice blocks attached to your feet.
"Maybe we both are," you whispered loud enough for them to hear.
Qiu turned back to you, their eyes meeting yours and warming.
"Then maybe we can figure it out together."
The silence that followed felt different, charged with potential and unspoken words. But just as you opened your mouth to respond, Qiu's pocket illuminated. Their phone buzz shattered the moment, pulling both of you back to reality.
They pulled their phone out, the blue light casting shadows across their face. "It's Micah. I should…"
"Of course," you said tightly, feeling the walls slam back into place. "Wouldn't want to keep him waiting." The bitterness in your voice surprised even you, but you clung to it like a lifeline.
Qiu sighed, pressing their lips into a thin line. "That isn't fair."
"Life isn't fair," you retorted, the childish response tasting like gross ash in your mouth. The static was back, louder now, drowning out whatever Qiu started to say.
They finally said, "We can talk more later tonight," but the words felt hollow, like promises made to children to keep them quiet.
Something in you snapped, a rubber band pulled too tight. The numbness was creeping back in, but it felt almost welcome this time.
"Actually, I'm kind of busy tonight. So, I think I'll pass," you stated bluntly, turning away from them and reaching for your car door. The keys felt cold in your hand, grounding you in your decision.
"What? Where are you going?" Their voice carried notes of confusion and concern that you could not bring yourself to acknowledge in the moment.
You waved a hand dismissively, not looking back. "Out to see some friends. You know how it is." The jab fell easily from your lips.
"What about Tamarack?" Qiu protested. You ignored them with determination. "Come on, don't do this," they added, though with a growing resignation.
They'd seen this version of you before and knew better than to chase after you when you got like this. It was also not in Qiu's nature to beg someone to stay, to be the one to blatantly request one's presence.
"Fine."
The single word from them carried more weight than it should have, falling into the snow between you like a stone as you threw open your car door and escaped inside.
In your rearview mirror, you watched Qiu turn toward Tamarack's house, their shoulders slightly hunched against the cold. Or maybe against something else. You started the car, the engine's rumble drowning out whatever thoughts tried to surface.
That old restlessness was crawling under your skin now, electric and demanding. You recognized it like an old friend - the same feeling that used to make you climb out your window at 2 AM, that used to make you take whatever was offered at parties just to feel something different, anything different. Your body hummed with it, every nerve ending alive with the promise of escape.
Your brain was already three steps ahead, mapping out the night like you used to - which backroads to take, which parties would still be going, which faces would welcome you back without asking too many questions.
Once around the corner, you pulled over, your hands shaking slightly - not from fear, but from adrenaline. That old electricity was running through your veins now, making everything sharper, more immediate. You remembered this feeling, how it used to make you feel powerful, untouchable. How it used to make you feel anything at all.
You scrolled through your contacts, muscle memory guiding you to a name you hadn't touched in a year: Jordan. The last message thread was short: "Nah, maybe next time" from you, left on read like so many things in your life. Back then, you'd started trying to be better, to be the kind of person Qiu wouldn't worry about, that Tamarack wanted to be around.
The phone in your pocket felt heavy as if it knew what you were about to do. How easy it would be to text those numbers you never deleted but pretended to forget. After all, some part of you whispered, isn't that what everyone expects anyway?
Funny how easily old habits come back.
Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, and that delicious recklessness made your skin buzz. You could almost taste it - the sharp bite of whatever cheap liquor would be passed around tonight, the burn of borrowed cigarettes, the beautiful numbness that came with letting go.
"Hey, what's going on tonight?"
The response came faster than expected as if they'd been waiting for you to crash and burn again—maybe they had.
"At the usual spot. You pullin' up? It'd be cool to see you."
You knew it was a bad idea. Probably the worst. You knew sending this reply would only lead to trouble. But honestly? Trouble felt like exactly what you needed right now.
"Sure. See you soon."
With finality, you started your engine and pulled away from the curb, putting as much distance between you and Qiu as you could as quickly as possible.
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spectra-bear · 9 months ago
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future interpretation of the gang, ill prolly add jacob later on, but i really like how it came together with the help of @giantrobotslug
(notes below)
- The burners here are in their mid to late 20s
- claire officially moved into motorcity, rocking her own style (smth like cyberpunk/futurepunk? with a mix of retro space chic, and racer outfits as well, similar to the amazons episode) i will probably design more outfits for her since shes so fun to draw
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- dutch works along the cablers with tennie, so he picked up a bit of their equipment into his everyday outfit (outside of driving), always has his mask and wrench on him, but also uses a coat from time to time when taking time alone to make art
- texas picks up workout, and gains weight and strength, but his suit's sleeves cant fit his arms in, so he just ties them by the waist and calls it a day lol
- julie around this time has already cut off ties from kane, completely changing her look, piercings, a nine lives cat sleeve tat on her left arm, and a burner flame tattoo sleeve on her right arm (that i forgot to add) matching mike
- mike's still holding onto his iconic jacket with a few stitched up rips here and there, loosely worn with the bottom tucked in, he keeps his sleeves folded to show off his tattoo, plus practicality, he also has his spark staff clipped to his belt
this was the second time i drew him, since his first draft looked kinda off
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- chuck takes up a more loose/casual and comfy look, with a coat resembling the design for his matching ride, blonde thunder, he also has longer hair
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intcrastra · 6 months ago
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           ・⊱ Her thumb pressed and traced circles along his cheek as she listened to him speak–to let the sensation linger, let him indulge in the feeling, as her embrace would not grant him that. Oh, how she wished she could hold him tight enough for him to even feel, his body as it was regardless ( shame her Song couldn't do anything at all to remedy that ), rather than have only this to offer him.
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           "I'm managing just fine. It's you we ought to worry most about in terms of pushing themself." Since reuniting, his well-being had always lingered in mind, after all. Each and every time, regardless of how much her own obligations took out of her. Those who followed the Hunt were known for being driven, thought to a maddening extent by some. To her, she could only wonder if, even despite the new body that doubtless no longer needed to rest as much as a regular one ( if at all ) ...that perhaps the strain of constantly going on and pursuing his goals and bounties across galaxies might take a toll on him even still.
           Ahh, but at least now she could personally ensure he take a moment to rest, if not unwind at the very least. Right? Yes. Yes–if she could play distraction for him now, even if for a moment-
           "Ah–" The wings on either side of her face fluttered, once, twice, before they covered her features, as the flush on her face darkened.
           Seriously...this guy...!
           "You...y-you truly have a way of making me feel so spoiled...!" she managed. So loved, and overwhelmingly so, even if in the best ways. That, along with his teasing, the playfulness–such utter warmth and mirth she was far too unaccustomed to. Yet even with how much it caught her off-guard each and every time...she could never get enough. For him to grant it so easily, so freely, and even almost enable her to seek more of it, "Saying that...I almost want to steal away with you. Right now-"
           Nevermind the fact that she had a show to put on, nevermind the fact that just his presence here was a risk to him, adding her own to it would only increase it-
|| @strdstd ||
{ @intcrastra ― ★ ]
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Man, he loved her laugh. Melodic, sweet, comforting. And he often took great pride in knowing he was the one to have caused it each time. Always able to brighten his mood no matter what had occurred beforehand. Whether it be over the phone (depending on if he could even get service) or in person. Still, in person was ten times better, him able to see her, hold her. Lack of ability to truly touch still stung a bit, but it still warmed him right up to be in her presence.
Slackening his grip to a more casual hold around her, he hummed a little in response. "What, didn't expect me to drop in?" There was a smirk with a slight tilt of his head. A hand then (admittedly a tad tentative at first) wound up briefly brushing against her cheek, before adding, "hope you ain't runnin' yourself ragged here."
At her questioning, he nodded. "Hit the nail on the head, yep. Galaxy Ranger stuff." An irritated sigh then left, complete with an eye-roll. Yeah, he enjoyed his job. The spontaneity, chaos of it all. But... it kept him from her for way longer than he'd like. As well as he still couldn't go all guns blazing all the time, not with Robin awaiting his return. He'd come back in much worse states before, and honestly? He hated seeing her shocked expression, hearing her worried voice, even with him doing his best to brush it all off. Saying it wasn't that bad, that he'd dealt with much more dire situations. It never worked.
Face then softened at the touch to his cheek, almost instantly leaning into it. "But that can wait a while. I have somethin' way more important that requires my attention here That bein'... you, darlin'." To punctuate his remark, a metal fingertip lightly poked her forehead, a small chuckle following.
#strdstd // boothill#ic#long post for ts#//While writing this; I had the FUNNIEST idea of like#//Them getting caught spending time together; and them IMMEDIATELY doing a hostage scenario so ppl don't get wise to them lol#//Sb spots them & after recovering from the shock; BH kinda just#'Leave me be or the lil lady gets it' while clearly making a finger gun and poking her (trying not to laugh at person's reaction)#Rob; without even a moment's hesitation 'Oh no! Please run! I'll be okay!' (is also fighting for her life not to laugh)#Then them IMMEDIATELY skeddadling outta there laughing bc Oh god; now he's got MORE to add to his Bad Rep & bounty#//Them seeing it on the news later while cuddled up & he's playfully complainin all 'The things I do for ya. My sterlin' reputation. RUINED#//Rob is just 'On the bright side; you now have cred for daring to threaten a Family member???'#//She prolly goes on an interview to clear up she was just passing through & he caught her unawares in being spotted bc sb; not him being#actively malicious to her specifically. Juuust to make sure folks don't think TOO bad of him#//Well; the most they can avoid lol#//Or even funnier her playing it off like she thought he just wanted credits or sm to pay a fare & actin like she had Zero idea who he was#//Like (Shit they're asking me abt him–play dumb!) 'Uh...who's Boothill?' (Fuck; NOT THAT DUMB-)#//He absolutely REFUSES to let her live it down; laughing his ass off next time they meet#//That second side is just pure clownery and I love it hdbg#//Anywho; hbfgkf#//Heck; tag rambles are now no longer for hcs; it seems kjdfbgfkjt
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atiianeishaunted · 2 months ago
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just remembered i can rant on here yippee >///< have a rant abt takashi shirogane bc im that man's number 1 hater, this will be horribly written and disjointed bc i jus need 2 get this out of my very soul, im tweaking SO BAD, a conversation w red is not enuff.. im homophobic to this man and this man alone. tomato tomato tomato shiro
also im a certified keith apologist that boy does no wrong free him ...
can you imagine taking in a little orphan boy thats clearly craving stability and proceeding to utilize him as a tool/replacement for you to live vicariously through because you cant accept retiring fully despite health concerns EVERYONE is telling you to not ignore ....... ??? not to mention him abandoning keith the first chance he gets even though he knows full well keith has literally nothing besides him (i find it hard to believe he wasnt aware of the unfair treatment keith was going through) (also side note, abandoning adam was also crazy..... adam shouldve lived jus so shiro would have to face the consquences but yk) (free adam he did nothing WRONG) (someone write a fic where adam lives n confronts shiro im begging)
also does anyone else find it suspicious that keith never mentions adam and vice versa, same w matt/pidge, shiro is shown to be very close to the holts (side note, if you ship shiro x matt DNI, that boy is a CHILD), so shiro was just hiding the fact he adopted a whole kid... insane behavior? methinks? also on that mentioning the holts, he treats them way better than he does the child he ADOPTED, constantly prioritizes them and treats them liek actual family. red worded it best when he said that shiro views the holt as family n keith is just a recruit to him ,,, punching the AIRR
shiro not once ever shows unconditional care towards keith, i know people will argue with that but like just think about it, everytime he shows some sort of care or concern towards the kid its usually followed up by it benefiting him, the constant "you cant run off / you cant die / etc etc. because you need to carry on my legacy" ???!??/.1/1/ hate that!
keith sees shiro as his savior essentially liek a god who can do no wrong, we constantly see this by the way he talks about the man and how far hes willing to go for him while shiro holds him at arm's length and constantly neglects him?!?!? idk why everyone jus treated that as cute ????? shiro is a horrible guardian to keith man ,, he encourages destructive behaviors and keith's insecurities purely bc it benefits him !!!!! straigfht up grooming the kid into being the perfect soldier/student/you get the point for the garrison
i coudl rant for hours and hours abt this but liek im genuinely so mad my brain is blank,, extreme hater hours, might add onto this hashtag later everytime i get mad about him, again this is a mess, you will prolly hear this rant a million times over from me, slightly more well constructed next time hopefully,,,,,,
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sayakxmi · 13 days ago
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Some ideas for V3 as Remanants of Despair* under the cut, cuz it's prolly gonna be rambly.
Gonna preface it all by saying that some stuff will likely be inspired by in fact by Buttercup_ghost if not just downright borrowed, bc their takes are great (fully recomending reading the fic), but I'm also trying to add my own spin to it.
Another thing is that I like the idea of V3 Remanants being delusional/convinced they're doing the right thing. They all gave me very strong self-righteous vibes, and it's a recipe for disaster. Like, class 77 are more "burning the world down to burn it" while 79 (V3) are like "gotta burn it/purge it to make it into a better place". Like, Junko specifically used the fact that they are naive and view themselves as good people against them.
Shuichi Saihara
Ok, so first of all - SAWhara? Amazing, spectuacular, never been done before, full credit to Buttercup_ghost bc I love this idea so much. But I kinda like the idea of Despair!Saihara being some kind of a harbinger of truth if you get me. He sort of is one in the game, but there he is gentle and unwilling, but as a Despair, he has none of that kindness he's occassionally willing to give to the culprits. No secrets are safe around him, he will dig it all out to cause strife and despair. Unless, of course, you can actually overcome it. In that case, you have a chance of surviving. He probably doesn't view it as truth ruining people's lives but the lies they'd told to hide it earlier.
Also, again from Buttercup_ghost, but the idea of Junko getting to Shuichi first makes just so much sense. The two best picks are either Shuichi or Kokichi, but I feel like they also cancel each other. They're both capable of falling, but also they're both capable of standing their grounds if others fall first. The difference is that Shuichi is liked and can get Junko close to others, while Kokichi is alone and he'll always be, so getting through him first is a shot in the knee kinda, bc others won't be as trusting as they would've been if you met literally anybody else first, F. Plus, there's a chance of using that loneliness against him later to make him fall, so it makes sense that way, too.
Kaede Akamatsu
It's like semi-borrowed from in fact (it's faster to write the fic titile than the author's, so I'll be doing that from now on), but only semi bc it's something I probably would have come up to myself even without reading it, like, girl decides to take the one for the team & kill somebody, hoping the person that dies will be the one that "deseved" that/was the real enemy, and it's similar here. Some people are Evil and they need to Die.
Rantaro Amami
Something something, failing your family will get you in trouble, that's also why one of the first people he kills are his own parents. I mean, you lost 12 daughters, by now you should have found at least one, you're rich and all that, you can afford it, but apparently it's only Rantaro who cares enough to involve a detective I guess? But, yeah, abusers of all kinds are the targets, neglectful parents etc etc. You get the idea. It sounds ok in paper, but the definition of abuse in his eyes is kind of unclear, so if you beat up your kid he'll be after you, and you can also just have a nasty argument with your spouse, and then you won't have a spouse, so. And, again, the point of V3 as RoD is that they are doing what they believe to be right, but they have sekwed up perception of right and wrong and zero limits.
K1-B0
Something we kinda forget about Kiibou is that he canonically looks down on Shuichi, like, bro just tells him he saw him as beneath him in their last FTE, and only changed his mind after some time. MAN. But, anyway, Despair!Kiibou isn't trying to be perceived as like humans or anything of this sort, I mean, why would he put himself on equal grounds with some people (derogatory)? He's so much better than them! He's a robot, he's smarter, he's stronger, he simply knows best. And people better recognize that or they'll get burned to crisps. I can also see him perceiving himself as somebody who should make the law (a nod to all that lawsuit things), he kinda goes dictator mode I guess. Fuck the three laws of robotics.
Gonta Gokuhara
Straight up stealing from in fact, bc Gonta going around mercy killing people who are "least likely to survive" is peak. Also love him not considering the rest of his class his friends anymore (save for Kokichi, but we'll get to it later).
Angie Yonaga
Again, in fact, Angie believing that Junko is her god makes sense to me. Grl started a cult probably, so first half of chapter 3, but there's more blood, I guess.
Tenko Chabashira
Definitely one of the more difficult ones to turn into a Despair, but I can sorta see her misandry spiking up. My idea is kinda that since Shuichi, a degenerate male, brought Junko to them, which put Himiko and other girls in danger, she straight up blamed him for what happened, and got radicalized over time. Though, admittedly, Despair!Tenko is a subject to change if I come up with something better.
Himiko Yumeno
Chapter 2 body discovery, except she's doing it on purpose. Himiko Yumeno, Blood is Magic. Maybe she embraces the "evil witch" archetype, too. Nobody will question her status as a mage if they're dead. I like where I'm going with it, but I'm struggling to put it into words, I hope you get the idea.
Miu Iruma
I tried to think of something, and against myself I ended up kinda agreeing with in fact again, oh well. It just makes a lot of sense for her to turn into a Despair out of paranoia - get them before they get you, y'know? But it's Miu, so her ego has to be involved somehow. It's a mix, then, she's afraid of everything, but also wants the world to acknowledge her genius and hotness, so if she has to blast some people into fractions, she will.
Korekiyo Shinguji
Listen he was like 16 in the game how tf he managed to not only kill almost 100 women, but also somehow not be caught. Bro isn't exactly the definition of subtle appearance-wise. He's supcious as hell, actually. And for that reason, again, sadly, in fact went into this direction, and so am I. I told you the author's takes were great.
Ryouma Hoshi
Aaaand in fact isn't over. It was awfully simple with him - he has nothing left to lose, so Junko gets him to care about her, and he doesn't care what happens to the rest of the world.
Kirumi Toujo
I'm not 100% sure about it, but I'm kind of vibing with that backstory of hers, that she once served somebody so well that person became unable to do their job, and her opting to do just that, because everybody else is fucking incompetent compared to her, and she deserves far more appreciation. She's resentful, and she'll smile and bow politely and ruin her employers' lives from the inside, showing them they're nothing in comparison.
Tsumugi Shirogane
She's a tricky one, but I can imagine Junko making her recognize her "true potential" or something. She's likely the one who idealizes Junko the most out of everybody, and I can see it as somewhat similar to the Mikan situation, which, oof. She gives Tsumugi all the attention she could possibly ask for, while for the rest of the world she might as well not exist, and she roams it in various costumes, doing whatever she pleases and avoiding responsibility. She's similar to Impostor in a way, but I'd say their difference is that Tsumugi can copy only some general stuff, mostly visually, so she can trick people into believing she's somebody else only for a little bit, while Impostor is so good they could live somebody's life for years and nobody would question it too hard unless they and the original were literally in the same room, and also Impostor can learn their skillsets. Anyway, I think at her core Tsumugi just feels worthless, so she becomes anything else for Junko, and when she's dead, her reason for being herself is gone, too - nobody cares about some Plain Jane, so she wants to become the next Junko to feel the void something something.
Kaito Momota
I'm really entertaining the idea of him just embracing the worst parts of himself - he believes himself to be the hero, the main character, the chosen one, and he requires others to recognize that. He pulls a vigilante, probably, but, as usual in Despair!V3, his view of who is and who isn't a criminal is skewed. But it doesn't matter, because he's never wrong in his judgement. He knows best who desevres or doesn't deserve to live, and he takes all the credit for putting the ones who don't into their grave.
Maki Harukawa
And who else does Kaito take the credit from if not the Ultimate Assassin herself? Ngl, they give me the vibe of Fuyuhiko and Peko. Kaito's the hero, and Maki's his sidekick, his weapon. Her hands can never be clean, but she can use them to make the world a better place by getting rid of all the filth. And she trusts Kaito's judgement, so if he tells her to kill somebody, they'll be dead.
*Kokichi Ouma
In fact gets the credit for making me realize things can be happening in the same universe, and also that V3 can be the ones responsible for what happens to him. Kokichi isn't a Remanant, he essentially takes Chiaki's role. He is by no means his class' hope, but he sure af won't let anybody touch them (well, an attempt was made). I've mentioned by Shuichi that best options would have been either to start with him or Kokichi, and yeah. Kokichi absolutelu could become Despair under the right circumstances, anybody could, but Junko made her choice, and while it was logical, it also meant Kokichi will not fall to her. He was recognized by HPA as the Ultimate Supreme Leader for a reason. Nobody touches his people and gets away with it (whoops, she did). Bro went through a Chiaki-style execution, except he reaches his class who weren't as friendly to him as Chiaki's would've been. By which I mean they toruterd him to near death. Like, I have specifically ideas for Kiibou burning his wrists, making the hand-shaped scars resemble cuffs (punishment for all the robophobia, Kiibou doesn't need the human laws to do things for him, he can judge crimes himself), Gonta knocking him out, bc he wanted Kokichi not to be awake to experience any of that, and at some point when Kokichi looks at Shuichi, Shuichi ends up stabbing him in the eye. RIP.
In the good route, both him and Chiaki survive, btw. Very long story would be that Chiaki, Nagito and Kokichi were friends in HPA, doing some investigating on Kamukura Project and Junko, and for Reasons Nagito was suspended for a while, so he wasn't there when Junko was getting to his classmates, blah blah, Kokichi tells him to go where his classmates went (Chiaki's execution place), bc he has to go after his own to safety or sth (even tells him about DICE in case something happens to him, bc he has a Plan, but no plan is 100% cerain to be succesful), so Nagito gets there when she's still alive if barely, Kamukura arrives, Nagito gets him to help Chiaki anyway. Kokichi's execution happens some time later, and Nagito and Chiaki find out and get to him when he's already like 90% in the grave & thanks to Kamukura he survives.
Bad route has them not get to Kokichi on time, and also at some point both Nagito and Chiak die, so they're both AIs in the simulation, long story.
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ashwii · 7 months ago
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I challenged myself to draw Night in under five minutes. Most of the time was in picking the colors, haha!
I have plans to draw him for real later. Love him (and you!) 🌌🐢✨🌙
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EHEHE LOOK AT HIM!! His colors seem so simple, but tbh I have the hardest time picking them when drawing him, I always feel like his skintone is off XDD he looks so grumpy, it's perfect 😭💕
BUT this was sent while I had my ipad with me, so I thought to try it too XD
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Tbh it's prolly cause I draw him almost every day, but I finished him in 2 or 3 minutes and was struggling on what else to add by the end of it XD he angy as usual tho -w- thank you for the arts, it really means a lot to me :DD
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keeps-ache · 2 months ago
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was up til 4 writing last night woohooooo :3
#just me hi#and i FINISHED what i was writing ! ! ! ! :DD#happy happy happy abt that lol !!#i was only like half-conscience for the last two full thirds of it (that's certainly an Experience btw lmfvshg) but it's not too bad either#i finished another short thing a couple months ago i think and i'd thought that was insane#turns out if you wanna get things done you just add easily achieved checkpoints. a thing i already knew but had not applied to writing ever#for some reason hkfsvhjg#like i finished it !! i finished the thang ! ! !#i rarely ever finish writing things cuz i don't think i have the network for that lolll - but i Did and ! ! ! :DD#and i didn't feel too bad waking up this morning so this is nothing but wins dude ! ! :D#ofc i'll have to go to bed earlier now tonight but yippeeee#i'm just really darn diddly pleased about it. yeah hbghfhs#//and what else..#drinkin strawberry lemonade rn !!! i love you strawberry lemonade houh <33#oouhhh one of my fave songs just came on hbghfs#wow i Am having nothing but wins today !! sick sick sick :D#//oh and since it's getting cooler i wanna go skating ! !#gotta mention that every now and then. i also love my skates hfbsh <3#they're crusted in mud (i am so sorry skates) cuz of that one time i hit the ditch (lmao) and i forgot to clean them so they've just been#Waiting for that Lol#i'll prolly get those cleaned later! hopefullyyyyyy gfhshv#yea also since i got bigger wheels than i'm used to (cuz i can't keep up w/ my siblings w/ dying wheezing lmfhsvhjg) i have to relearn some#stuff like it's Brand-brand new#but i Did master that one hill that spooked me (i went Flying dude i think it looked majestic hgkfsj) so we're making progress !! :D#hyped hyped hyped for thatttt#i miss that big empty lot in belle isle for this kinda thing but that's alright. tiny sidewalk we must join forces now#//i'm running out of tag space n i'm sposed to be doin stuff Hfhkhfjsv - toodles tooooodles :D !!
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divinelolita · 1 year ago
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ugly giggling rn
why does every idea i have for u make me feel like ive alr sent this
ahem
imma get the number 4 along with a coca cola(the full mf band headcannons) with a male reader who's a baker and likes to bake for them bro
they prolly dont have sweet tooths(oh wait yes they do remember when they tried alat candy?) anyway an example is that maybe they're down and reader makes em smth like brownies(TRUST i made brownies about a month ago from my break up and it worked real well.) but still leaves em alone and lets em think(unless they want reader with them in there lap or smth AHEM tom)
of courseee like always add whatever whenever😔🤚🏾
LOVE YOUUU
BAND X BAKER READER
HII I LOVE YOU MORE 😍😍 last time i made brownies those bithces wre as hard as ROCKS like i literally slammed it onto the counter and it stayed in one piece..uh anyways
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BILL:
・He loves anything you make
・He gets so happy when you give him a batch of brownies or cookies JKHEXBJJKEDX
・Can never hide his happiness when he receives something, hes always grinning ear to ear
・THE PRAISEEEEE
"Oh my god, M/N! You made this? It's looks so good holy shit-"
・ofc we made it tf 🤨
・He always asks you to eat with him, he likes being by your side!
・He has a huge ass sugar tooth, have you seen the way he acts around skittles? 😭😭
・If you ask him to help you (even if it's as small as something like mixing the batter) he gets so GIDDYYYYY
・Loves helping you in any way he can!!!
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TOM:
・He'd try to hide how excited he is whenever you give him something.
・His love language is giving gifts so receiving gifts from YOU? oh my LORD he's so thrilled.
・Can't help but laugh whenever he sees a smudge of flour on your nose or shirt, yet doesn't tell you it's there.
・He thinks it's too cute to wipe off 😴
・Wrapping his arm around you as he takes a bite of whatever you've given him
・Telling you how good it is between every bite, rubbing his fingers up and down your sides.
"This is the best fucking thing I've tasted in my whole life.."
・If you ask to bake with him he cancels all of his plans crossing plans with you, immediately coming over.
・Slinging an arm around your shoulders as he reads the recipe, his head rested on the top of your head
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GEORG:
・AHH FREE FOOD! 😍
・nah fr he loves the fact you can bake, he can't make a decent batch of cookies to save his life.
・Always shocked whenever he receives something, no matter how long you've been doing it
"Another cupcake?"
"Shut the fuck up and eat it."
・yes sir.
・He goes HAM on that shit he loves your baking.
・Actually refuses to buy baked goods anywhere else, unless it's an ABSOLUTE need.
・Asks BEGS you to sit down and eat with him, even if it just a small bite off the corner of a brownie
・Leaning against you as he eats it 😻😻
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GUSTAV:
・OH MY GOD.
・Y'all r the perfect match. He loves cooking and you love baking 🫶🫶
・He's always looking forward to the next thing you make him
・Gets so happy even if it's something small like a macaron.
・If you try to cheer him up by baking something he gets so fucking HAPPY!!
"Oh..for me?"
"Of course! I know you've been down lately so..."
・He'd be SOBBINGGG later 🤞
・He's just so grateful he's dating you and that you actually gift him stuff KSHWDXBBKH
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kcrossvine-art · 2 years ago
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Youre telling me a shimp fried this rice soup? No.  But with your help it can, for just pennies a day. Today on the the Redwall Cookbook we're making Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup. 
(you may find the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to follow along!)-
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to a Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup?” YOU MIGHT ASK
Unsalted butter
1 onion
2 leeks
Vegetable stock (or vegetable bouillon)
Milk
3 potatoes
Curry or chili powder
Salt and pepper
Pre-cooked shrimp or prawns
I also added parsley flakes and smoke paprika for serving. The recipe recommends crusty bread!
Crusty bread. Like garlic or a baguette.
Stale potato chips would prolly taste good if ur into that sorta thing.
AND, “what does Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
Of all the redwall dishes so far this one has the most distinct 'savory' flavor
Smooth, rich flavor
The veggies came out nicer than id thought and i think the simmering and then adding liquid let it seep in.
The seafood smells intense after an hour or so (serve immediately)
The powder and the milk kept separating and i wonder if stirring more or adding the milk earlier wouldve made it emulsify better?
You could strain and serve the contents without the soup part!
Would pair well with a smooth red wine and a 'naked' salad.
Shimp-shimp-shimp-shimp-a-doop
. Used almond milk where milk called for . Used curry powder . Used garlic bread
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Honestly feel free to just fuckin HEAP on the spices, in classic brit fashion, they have the tongues of arctic babies and you can barely taste the spice with the original portions given. The shrimp is understandably pre-cooked but as is they come out barely changed by the soup or spices, and if someone could tell me the reasoning behind not adding them earlier to soak up some of that good good stuff, id love to hear (genuine).
2 major points on this recipe; As its seafood, it does not keep well, you could maybe save it for later the same day. Beyond that youre playing with your life and it wont taste great. It is very fast to prepare (if you have prechopped veggies). Maybe 40 minutes from deciding to make it from having it in my belly, not counting veggie prep time as i did that the morning-of while reading.
So sorry for having this out late! I've been working on some projects like concept work for an upcoming indie TTRPG, commissions for folks DnD parties, and my own personal stuff. If it makes it up to yall, i did eat this on the 3rd of this month haha.
As much as I love seafood, unfortunately i dont make it much as its hard to store and can be finicky to prepare. This soup could be replaced with a few other centerpieces, or made vegetarian, but for how it is in the book- I give this recipe a solid 6/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again. 5 being average)
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 large onion, chopped
2 medium leeks, washed well and chopped
1 1/2 cups vegetable stock (or 1 1/2 cups water and 1/2 cube vegetable bouillon)
3 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 teaspoon curry powder or chili powder, or to taste
Salt and pepper, to taste
8 ounces peeled, cooked shrimp or prawns, sliced if large
1 cup milk
Method:
In a large pot over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the onion and leeks and cook, stirring, until soft, about 5 minutes (do not let the vegetables brown).
Add the vegetable stock, potatoes, curry or chili powder, and salt and pepper. Cover and simmer until the potatoes are very soft, 15 to 20 minutes.
Add the shrimp and milk and gently heat. Serve with crusty bread.
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