#profound book but also oof

[foxsoulcourt]

wandering into 2024, appreciating beauty wherever I can

[alittlebitofloveliness]

3, 4, 7, 9 (outsiders asks)

EEEEE thanks for the ask anon!

3. Favourite character outside the main seven

Tim Shepard! I feel like Hinton threw mentions of him and Curly in there as a sort of foil to Darry and Ponyboy's dynamic but I have SOOOO many headcanons about him (and Curly and Angela too).

PS. The only reason I said Tim and not Angela is because she's not technically mentioned in the book. Angela is my favourite outsiders universe character ever and since theres not enough content for her I've decided I have to make my own lmao

4. Rank the main seven

OOF omg ok this was a hard one

First, Steve. Probably seems really random and unpopular but I feel like theres so much depth to his character that there just wasn't enough book to provide. We know he has a rough background and a soft spot for Sodapop and that Ponyboy's narration of him is biased since he thinks Steve doesn't like him. Tbh tho I think Steve really does care about Ponyboy in his own way, it's just hard for Ponyboy (and probably a lot of younger readers to see). My love of Steve was kind of an evolution but I can firmly say he's my favourite out of the gang atp.

Second, Darry. My man was a 20 y/o whose parent died who had to give up on his dreams to raise two younger brothers who he loved so much the feelings bled off the page. He NEVER should have hit ponyboy and it was such an out of character moment for him- AS IT WAS INTENDED TO BE. I have a LOT of thoughts about him but as someone who has grown that I'm almost the same age as him I cant IMAGINE having gone through what he went through and dealt with it as well as he did. My man needs more recognition.

Third, Ponyboy. He's such a dumbass and a weirdo but so reltable and sarcastic and profound. He's a main character who never gets in the way of other main characters and he's so quintessentially 13 that reading his story when I was that age fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and I haven't been the same since.

Fourth, Johnny. He was the gangs favourite for a reason and such a good friend to Ponyboy. I feel like the fandom infantilizes him sometimes, which is partially due to Ponyboy's narration, but the book makes it clear he's a really tough kid who looks like trouble but isn't. He's such a prime example of how the lottery of birth can fuck up someone's life. He is so tragic to me because he never had a chance.

Fifth, Sodapop. I know he's a fan favourite and I'm not saying I don't like him, but he's just kind of...boring? imo. Like, not much there, and not as much depth as some of the other characters. maybe its because we see a lot more of him in Ponyboy's thoughts but I'm not curious about him the way I am about some of the others.

Sixth, Dally. He's not likeable- but he is, as johnny said, gallant. I know it was by design that he's mysterious but I wish we got more backstory for him. I've just never connected to him the way I connected to other characters.

Seventh, Two-Bit. Again, probably unpopular and I know he's a fandom favourite but to me his issues have always jumped out more than his redeeming qualities. His alcoholism is a hallmark of his character, and i think at one point Ponyboy mentions he's a dead weight on his family's finances. He also has a little sister that's Ponyboy's age thats mentioned like once? I just feel like he's kind of a deadbeat for his family if that makes sense.

7. Favourite non romantic relationships. i could (and probably should atp, whoops this got long) make a whole other post about this but:

darry and ponyboy's relationship

johnny and ponyboy's friendship

steve and sodapop's frienship

johnny and dally's relationship

9. Favourite scene/moment from the book?

When Ponyboy runs directly into Darry's arms as soon as he sees him at the hospital. Gets me right in the feels every time.

Bonus: the moment when that guy tells Ponyboy he shoudn't smoke and he's all confused, like why? theres not a no smoking sign? and the dude is just like uh? but youre a kid? it's just such a stark reminder that while Ponyboy has grown up sheltered in some ways he has absolutely not been in others and his background is really rough and agh it gets me every time its such a clever scene.

ANYWAY this got longer than i meant it to, whoops. Thanks ever so much for the ask :)

[bitch-butter]

ok ok ok this isnt like a suggestion or a prompt or anything but like a thought exercise? but anyway--

the five people you meet in heaven, joe liebgott edition. make with this what you will.

this is rough bc truly The Five People You Meet in Heaven was one of my most loathed books I had to read in High School. Which is weird bc objectively I like everything in it and the concept is cool but oof I absolutely hated that book And The Things They Carried (again, should have liked it and Heartily didn't). Also The Great Gatsby, but I grew into really loving that book in my old age lol

BUT this is a good thought experiment, and I'm going to put it in a rivers context bc it's the context I know best. I am of the onion that Lieb d o e s go first (I love that I can Finally acknowledge that Web lives in this verse phew) so Web would Not be one of the Five. The way I'm imagining it is sort of like the book, where some connections are more abstract than others, because it's just true to how life is.

How I see it:

Lieb passes after a long, eventful life. It's peaceful, and it doesn't hurt.

His first level would be his first love, who was a woman named Carmen that he met his first year working for the cab company. She was a year older, was more well-off, and even if they didn't last long and ended badly they learned a lot of those very precious early secrets of life together, including navigating a dynamic that they couldn't necessarily be open about with their families.

The second level I see being someone like Tipper, who saw Lieb at one of the moments where the best of himself was coming through even in a horrible circumstance. Being given friendship, comfort, love in a terrible moment has a profound and lasting effect, and I think being reminded of that is key.

Vonn's wife would be his third. If you've read rivers, Vonn is the old man who runs the barber shop that Lieb comes to work at. My mind palace for him is very detailed, but suffice it to say Vonn's wife died maybe 10 years before Lieb came to the shop, and she had had a lot of concern over how Vonn would manage quality of life, company, and business without her, and she reminds Lieb of the effect he had on ensuring the old man had a place to be, had caring people around him, and felt loved.

In the fourth layer he meets the Young Man from Landsberg who he had interpreted for. Obviously that moment shifted the course of Lieb's life, and throughout the whole rest of it he had thought of that man often, never really knowing what happened to him. He finds that he lived a long, imperfect life filled with the same pain and beauty of every life, and that the fact that he was able to face it at all in spite of the horror he endured was a gift.

The fifth is the Most abstract, and I see it as one of Web's students who Lieb never met. The student was young, questioning, and one day accidentally caught sight of Lieb in Web's office on campus, the easy way that Lieb kissed the top of his head before ruffling his hair. It made the idea of loving the same gender less like an impossibility, made the thought of living authentically and happily, surrounded by others like you, seem somehow attainable.

He's led to Their House, which is their house free of imperfection, in Their City which is also All cities that they've loved together. He waits there, patiently, until one day Web walks through the front door.

[primonizuto]

ive been rereading the bartimaeus books recently and god they are so fucking good like it's insane how good they are and i am speaking mostly of nathaniel and kitty here despite the fact that bart is my fav character of all time like

nathaniel is the worst guy ever of all time and it rules. it is so difficult to write a character who you unequivocally feel sympathy with in the first book slowly turning into the absolute worst piece of shit imaginable by the third book but IT IS DONE HERE. and ofc the series itself as a whole was so carefully plotted and everything felt so tight and concisely written, and a lot of the impetus behind the events in the books were very clearly spelled out bc it's YA lit so things Have to be clear, but it kind of still amazes me that there's so much connecting the metaphor (identity closely linked with the name you have and the face you present to the world; 'nathaniel' linked with compassion and idealism and individuality and creativity but also trauma vs 'john mandrake' linked with power and control and the repression of that trauma) with the worldbuilding (true names are dangerous weaknesses and so magicians are supposed to be nameless until they are old enough to be given their magician name) - something as simple as nathaniel being nathaniel during Amulet and Golem's Eye and then suddenly by book 3, at his nadir, he is john mandrake and everybody including bartimaeus calls him that... oof !!! it makes it stick out even more in Golem's Eye when he's still being called nathaniel in the narrative but everyone around him is calling him mandrake as a point of transition

KITTY JONES IS THE BEST YA HEROINE EVER WRITTEN BAR NONE!! i was talking abt this a while ago but it is so fucking cool that kitty's magical special power that she has (her resilience) is NOT what ultimately makes her special and important to the narrative. what makes her important is her capacity for compassion and her determination to follow through on her convictions, in this case with ptolemy's gate. her resilience is mainly there to give her a backstory and place her in opposition to the magicians, it's not there to make her the chosen one

i swear these books legitimately radicalised me as a kid. i remember reading the descriptions of the british empire in the books when i was maybe 11 or 12 and being like 'gee, i sure am glad it wasn't like that in real life', but when i was older and returned to the books i could see that it wasn't 'what if', it was allegory, extrapolating real history and applying it to the book's universe

also i'm not jewish and please correct me if i'm wrong but i think GE is one of the only fantasy stories written by a non-jewish (i think) author which uses golems as a plot point in a way that retains their jewish origins - bart explicitly mentions in his world that the golems, in line with our world's jewish folklore, were first made to protect the jewish people from pogroms!! it's not some case of like 'oh yeah golems are in this also. where did they come from, you ask? it's not important'

anyway didn't mean for this post to be so long but if you like reading fantasy alt history YA which is also a really impressive trilogy-long takedown of indoctrination, abuse and the british empire then i present to you the bartimaeus trilogy by jonathan stroud

also the prequel novel is good too and functions in every way that a prequel novel should by 1) fleshing out a few offhanded references from the main books into a contained story of its own and 2) making sure that story deepens our understanding of the main character and allows us to see him in a totally different light before a key element of his backstory had even happened which makes that element itself even more tragic and profound

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e3 the third man (w. ben edlund)

so i wanted to know where cas was, i guess "total anarchy" is a little different from what i said ("heaven politics"). whatever, dean needs some backup from all these pod people.

trying to file away a thought about how the show treats him leaving lisa and its after effects, if he's dreaming about her now. not holding my breath on that. (but maybe this was just an excuse to get both guys shirtless)

is this a random lady sam banged or the lady in the hunter group? pretty and longish brown hair blending together.

also sam is very tan. i wonder side by side how much darker he is than s1. might be due to the lighting/coloring they're going with the past couple seasons which can be really warm and saturated at times.

s1e17 hell house / s6e3 the third man - evolution of tan

ah right, i forgot i knew the sex worker thing.

oh jackles what did they do to your face. i know it looks worse because i have the nighttime warm display on, but oof

dean's just rolling with this totally different personality from sam. it's only been 5 minutes but i haven't been angry and i'm tryin real hard to keep the chill vibe. but...

i guess we're going all-in on the gross deaths.

DEAN Yeah, I suppose. Still driving the plastic piece of crap, huh?

SAM What's your mileage, again?

DEAN Shut up.

well, i appreciate the mention of gas mileage because the amount of money they had to have spent on gas for the impala based on the amount they drive is astronomical. but again, we're just doing the fun banter. i don't really get this version of soullessness.

but then, hmm. thinking of the magicians, which sera gamble was also a showrunner on, they had this thing called a shade: "The Shade is the tiny beating heart of the soul and the part that allows people to process complex emotions and connect to one another. The bonds of friendship, love, intimacy, trust, and compassion all rely completely upon the Shade." they also had it be a release from pain from trauma. and general give no fucks anymore-ness. (were shades in the books... i can't remember)

but anyway it kinda seems like, from what i've seen here, their implementation of soulless is really similar to shadeless. i think i'm grating against it so hard because i want dean to figure it out and he can't figure it out if they're being chummy on a job.

also why isn't dean even silently pissy about sam NOT CONTACTING HIM IN A YEAR THAT DEAN THOUGHT HE WAS STILL IN HELL. i just don't see how there's any plot or explanation that's going to make me think dean would react like this. with how you've had him be about sam for the past 5 years, and established canonically his history with him before that. does not compute for me.

(s3e5 bedtime stories) CROSSROADS DEMON No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. 

you don't get demons calling you out to your brother about being desperate, sloppy and needy for nothing.

and zachariah's "sam and dean winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other". but no. dean's all good.

SAM So, what, you -- you like him better or something?

CASTIEL Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn't gonna mention it.

--

DEAN Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer. Okay? You wing your ass down here, and you tell him, "I don't know." Just because we have some sort of a -- a bond or whatever...

CASTIEL You think I came because you called? I came because of this. 

i wonder how cas's dislike of sam gets translated into fandom (who must have had a field day with the profound bond line)

CASTIEL Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. 

same, bro, same. except the multidimensional wavelength part.

kind of funny this dude is blaming cas for giving the angels free will.

oh someone must have gif'd tobias and hannibal fighting compared with raphael beating on cas. that's funny.

feeling slightly mollified that at least dean brought up sam seemingly not caring about anything.

DEAN Hey man, I'm just trying to figure this out because... something's different with you. You know that.

SAM Yeah. Yeah, I know.

DEAN Really?

SAM Yeah. I mean... I've been hunting non-stop for the past year, kind of... kind of on the wild, you know? So, yeah, I suppose I'm a little rough around the edges.

well that made me wonder how much awareness sam has of what's going on, realizing i assumed he knew but i see it also makes sense if he doesn't. and doesn't care because he's happy (i assume?)

DEAN Yeah, I get that. I just don't think I'm getting the whole scoop. You went to hell, Sam. And believe me, I know what that does to a guy.

SAM To you.

DEAN What?

SAM You know what it does to you. It -- it tortured you. You know? I think it still does. But, Dean... I'm okay.

ouch. that was ugly. we do not need to fuel dean's guilt-shame fire.

still really looking forward to this particular plotline's demise.

[vacantgodling]

7 and 10 for the weird writing asks!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

though answered, another joy is being able to be in control of things. being able to create things that I want that satisfy ME is a huge joy bc i deserve it tm

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

i think in general haunted means a mixture of something that lives in your head rent free forever, but also something that emotionally moves you and resonates with you, to the point that it’s here rent free. in terms of other works who’s writing has haunted me or who has been particularly profound; the entire chapter of the phantom tollbooth which talks about the city that disappeared because no one paid attention to it has stuck with me since i was VERY young. that whole book really but specifically that scene idk put the fear of Something in me lol. in a funny way, the paprika in beginning dracula being a potential cause for hallucinations (like the hypothesis of it) is so damn funny to me i can’t ever let it go. there have also been MANY a fanfiction with lines or scenes that oof get me.

a lot of my writing does haunt me because writing to me is the purest form of expression to myself and when i write something that hits different it Hits different because it’s Mine and it’s for Me to Myself.

the poem pieces, the scene divine, the scene the start of the rapture, and the poem home are some good examples lol.

[soratobukujira]

Tagged by @private-bryan . Thanks for the tag🤗

Good choice of books btw. Might pick some of them too.

1)The last book I read?

Five Little Pigs by Agatha Christie. I like the way Poirot solved the "already solved" case by tracing back the people and using psychological aspects instead of hard evidence.

2)A book I recommend?

I Am A Cat by Soseki Natsume. I finally finished the book after 3+ years! It's a satire about human life seen through a cat's eyes. And if you're into manga (as I am) I'd recommend Witches by Daisuke Igarashi. It's a collection of stories that features a "witch" in each chapter. Gorgeous art.

3)A book I couldn't put down?

Manga: Gintama by Hideaki Sorachi, Uramichi Onii-san by Gaku Kuze. Both are full of parody and satire that made me feel slapped as an adult. lol. Novel: Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami, because I love surrealism and Abarat series by Clive Barker, it's a fantasy novel in a parallel world in which has 25 hours - sadly, the next book is still being written.

4)A book I've read twice (or more)?

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto. The simplicity of the plot and the the characterization are what I need in romance. I'm not a big fan of drama so this is right up in my kokoro. And Agatha Christie's for sure. For manga it's Wotakoi by Fujita and Children of the Sea by Daisuke Igarashi. The first is a rom-com and the latter a is surrealism-fantasy that involves whale (hence my name).

5)A book on my TBR?

Soooo many! But for now, I want to finish Oyasumi Punpun first.

6)A book I've put down?

Oof. Twilight saga to name a few. Memoirs of Geisha by Arthur Golden.

7)A book on my wish list?

The City and Its Uncertain Walls by Haruki Murakami, Genji Monogatari, The Romance of Three Kingdoms.

8)A favourite book from childhood?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. Because I love sweets and chocolate.

9)A book you would give to a friend?

Howl's Moving Castle trilogy by Diana Wynne Jones and His Dark Materials Trilogy. I know she would love it.

[10)Take a moment and rest. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now, you may continue]

11)A nonfiction book you own?

The Art of War by Sun Tzu. A very profound reading I'd say, not only for business practices but also for life in general. Let's face it every day is a battle.

12)What are you currently reading?

Apothecary Diaries, Primal Gods in Ancient Times, Veil. All manga.

13)What are you planning on reading next?

Oyasumi Punpun and Anne Brönte's Agnes Gray.

13 books!

I was tagged by @consistantly-changing (thanks!) to answer these 13 questions, tag 13 people and, if desired, add a shelfie! I looove this one!

1) The last book I read:

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett, which is a departure from my usual fare; I just wanted something fun and cozy. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it!

2) A book I recommend:

Ugh, so so many. uhhh how about The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (that whole series, really)

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

5) A book on my TBR:

A new one I'm excited about that I'm on the hold list for at the library is The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. I don't know if I wasn't in the right headspace for it, or if I'm just too dumb. Probably both. I would like to try it again sometime, though.

7) A book on my wish list:

The Handbook of Bird Biology by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology

8) A favorite book from childhood:

The Secret Garden. I had a really pretty illustrated copy. I still have it, actually!

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

[There is no No. 10 I guess?]

11) A nonfiction book you own:

The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson ugggh it's so good

12) What are you currently reading:

Waiting by Ha Jin and The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker

13) What are you planning on reading next?

I won't actually know until I get to that point. My reading mood changes with the wind. :P

And a shelfie! It's a couple months old, but I don't feel like taking a new one. (fwiw, a LOT of these are used or gifted, and I prune/donate them regularly)

Tagging @glassprism @musicalhell @bogglebabbles @les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques @rjdaae @ladystormcrow @forestscribe4 @a-partofthenarrative @jennyfair7 @pianomanblaine @lucy-ghoul @dying-suffering-french-stalkers @lestatslestits

[swanhookheart]

Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed. 

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into. 

*Sigh* 

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me. 

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic. 

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth. 

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story. 

[nellie-elizabeth]

Outlander: The World Turned Upside Down (6x06)

Well dang! I wasn't expecting things to happen quite so quickly!

Cons:

This episode comprises quite a passage of time, and honestly I feel a little conflicted about it. To take us through Claire's sickness, Malva's entire pregnancy leading up to her ultimate fate, all in one episode, made me feel a little uncertain about where we were in the timeline at any given moment. I admire how much of the story they were able to tell here, but it does sort of feel like all the slow, sinister buildup of Malva's character came to a head and then was immediately pivoted into the next branch of the story. I think I would have wanted this story to take place over two episodes instead of just one, if I had been calling the shots there.

Things like, Ian being one of the potential fathers of Malva's child, and Jamie's despair during Claire's sickness, and Roger continuing to preach at the protestant church, and the assembly Jamie and Roger attend... on the one hand, I'm impressed by how much from the books is being included. On the other, it felt like we got a lot of summarization where I could have done with some slowing down.

Claire's ether abuse is still not clicking with me, especially how it was utilized here. I thought the whole point was that it knocked you out and Claire could have a dreamless unconsciousness, but here using the ether made her have a strange hallucination/dream of Malva threatening to steal all her happiness... so which is it? Does the ether knock her out entirely, or does it do something else? I'm just not digging it.

Pros:

My only big complaint being with the pacing, I must say I was mighty impressed by what we actually got to see! The sickness was properly horrifying and sinister, and it's so heartwarming to see how loved Claire is, by Jamie, by Brianna, by Roger, Lizzie... she might have those on the Ridge who are wary of her, and the events that are about to take place certainly make that situation a lot worse, but Claire is known by many as a kind healer and a good woman, and we see that clearly in how she cares for the sick, and in how she is cared for in turn.

We got things like Claire's hair being cut off, and the lovely conversation between Jamie and Claire where he expresses his undying love for her. I remember being really moved by Jamie's grief in the book, and I think they went a bit of a softer route here, not showing Jamie howling out in his despair, but something quieter if no less profound. I thought it worked really well. Honestly, though, the highlights for me during the sickness part were Brianna and Roger's individual moments with Claire. Roger is the one to break the news about her hair, and assure her of her beauty... and Brianna gets to give her mother the news about the new baby! Both really sweet lovely moments.

And then comes the dramatic turning point: the Christies show up one day, when Claire is recovered and things are starting to get back to normal, and they make a shocking announcement. Malva is pregnant, and she says Jamie is the father.

This is such a shocker, and it encompasses so much drama moving forward. Obviously you've got Jamie and Claire... of course Jamie is put in an impossible situation, since he can't apologize for something he didn't do, but how to deny it without sounding guilty? I love that this is where he confesses to having had a sexual encounter with Mary McNab all those years ago, when Claire had gone back through the stones, leaving Jamie for dead. It's a lovely tender moment between husband and wife, where they acknowledge that there's nothing to forgive, but also worry about the future.

But of course it's not as simple as just Jamie and Claire's relationship. There's also Malva and Claire, and the betrayal there. The scene where Claire tries to go in kindness to Malva, and initially she seems like she might be regretting things and coming around, but then her brother appears and she turns on Claire and calls her a witch... oof, so brutal. And Jamie and Malva had a nice energy to them, before the big moment of Malva's lie. It seemed like Jamie had a sort of fatherly affection for her, and genuinely appreciated Malva's help during Claire's sickness, which just makes everything worse when she turns on him.

And then there's Ian, who had sex with Malva and worries the child might be his. He therefore feels guilty that Jamie is in the crossfire, with everyone saying such horrible things about him. And then Brianna, dealing with her conflicting feelings over the infidelity of a parent. Things with Frank were an entirely different situation, but Brianna still felt duped by the fact that he had an extramarital relationship with someone and was not in fact faithful to her mother. Not to mention the strange affinity between Tom Christie and Claire, this pseudo-friendship where they clearly disagree but still have this strange connection to one another... it's so much. There are just layers and layers here!

I was shocked when we got to the ending scene, because I was anticipating one more episode of buildup to it, and I have mixed feelings about the pacing. Still, I will admit, going from fearing Malva as an antagonist to seeing her dead in the garden with her throat slit is an image I'm not likely to forget in a hurry! Claire's frantic attempt to save the child still inside Malva is harrying and tragic, and ultimately fruitless, and that's where we end the episode, in the direst of all possible conditions.

And we've got next week off, so two whole weeks to wait and see what the heck will become of Claire and Jamie next! This was an intense episode, encompassing some of the most memorable material from the book. My main mark against it is simply the speed with which we swept through these events. We'll see how they do with the fallout!

8/10

[365days365movies]

March 7, 2021: Wolfwalkers (Review)

Well, it’s not a 98%. Close enough, though...

Because this film is...fantastic. It’s amazing! Come on, it’s such a good movie, what else were you expecting? This one was a corker, it was just a good time. And I’m definitely watching this one again, I promise you that.

But here’s the real question: is it my favorite Cartoon Saloon film? Well...

Yeah, sorry, Song of the Sea still takes that role for me. And to be honest, The Breadwinner gives it a run for its money, too. Definitely better than The Secret of Kells, although...not that much better. I’ll elaborate, I promise. But this is still a great movie! ALL of Cartoon Saloon’s films are great movies, come on!

But, since it’s not a straight-up 100%, I’ll break it down, as well as my very unimportant issues with it. So, let’s get into it. Check out Part One and Part Two of the Recap for more, if you’d like!

Review

Cast and Acting: 10/10

Yeah, if this movie has one thing over the Ghibli films, it’s the voice acting. And yeah, I realize that I’m judging this English-language film vs. the dubbed Ghibli films, and that’s unfair. But even without the Ghibli films factored in...this movie’s got some fantastic voice acting. I can say quite honestly that there isn’t a weak performance in the bunch. Worst ones are probably the two farmers, and they’re completely fine. Climbing on up, we’ve first got Tommy Tiernan (as Sean, and he’s pretty great) and Simon McBurney (as Oliver Cromwell, and he does a fantastic job). Then, Sean Bean and Maria Doyle Kennedy as the concerned parents, and hot damn, they’re great. Kennedy barely gets time to shine, but is great when she does. And Bean? Holy shit, Sean Bean is fucking AMAZING in here!

But no...no, they’re all outright bad compared to the stars of the film, and some of the best young voice actors I’ve ever heard. Don’t know what it is about Cartoon Saloon, but they always get great kids for their films, and Honor Kneafsey and Eva Whittaker might be their best! These two are powerhouses of the film, and their voices inhabited those characters perfectly. I mean it when I say that these two were perfect. Bravo!

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Here’s where the film is a touch weaker than the other Cartoon Saloon films for me, because while this was a good story by Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, with great writing by Will Collins, it wasn’t their most impactful for me. It’s also, to be honest, quite predictable. Which, no, isn’t a bad thing for a kids’ movie, but it was noticeable. Here’s the thing: Song of the Sea wasn’t super predictable. I was touched and surprised by the ending, and it’s still my favorite of the Saloon films. The Breadwinner...oof, yeah, I had no idea how that one would end. And Kells wasn’t as unpredictable, but it also had some major surprises in store that kept me on my toes. But Wolfwalkers? Didn’t feel it. Knew that Moll would be OK at the end, and that was the main crux of the tension of the story. Now, that said...there were still definitely things that surprised me, like Bill getting bitten, and the two retaining their status as Wolfwalkers in the end. That did surprise me, and it definitely isn’t like the story was bad, even a little bit. Just was basically what I expected.

...Except for Cromwell dying. WHAT THE FUCK. The Cartoon Saloon universe has a REALLY interesting alternate history, I tell you what! Goddamn, I hope they do one that takes place in the USA with some of our folklore and mythology. Like...OOH, I GOT ONE. Paul Bunyan story! Do something with Bunyan and the Ox. Or OOH, EVEN BETTER, Pecos Bill! Actually, maybe not Pecos Bill. John Henry? Eeeeeh, that might be complicated. I dunno, but there’s something there, Cartoon Saloon! There is something there.

Directing and Cinematography: 10/10

I mean...it’s Cartoon Saloon. It’s amazing. Tomm Moore is great again, joined this time by writing partner Ross Stewart. Looks like Nora Twomey is working on another film called My Father’s Dragon, and I am READY for that shit. But yeah, I mean...come on. It’s funny, because this movie’s production and release were heavily affected by COVID-19, and it doesn’t show. There is a single criticism that I can give to it, but it doesn’t belong in this section. Because the directing and cinematography are typically amazing. Goddamn beautiful. As for the one potential flaw...

Production and Art Design: 9/10

Understand: this is a nitpick. Bu if I had to pick on anything here, it’s simply the animation cells showing the sketches lying underneath. Now, Disney ended up doing this with an era of films in the 1960s and ‘70s (The Many Adventures of Winne-the-Pooh, Robin Hood, The Jungle Book, the Aristocats all did this), but it’s still a little distracting here. And that’s it. Character design is goddamn amazing, and actually made me want to start drawing a bit. The artistry of the backgrounds and set-pieces is stellar, and the stylized designs of Cartoon Saloon somehow never get old to me! It’s just...amazing. Like I said: the underlying sketch thing really is a nitpick, and I don’t even mind it, personally. It’s honestly good to see the work behind a 2-D animated movie, you know? So, yeah, just the one point.

Music and Editing: 10/10

Bruno Coulais and Kila knock this music out of the park all-around, and I have nothing negative to say about it. I’m not sure which track is going in my playlist, but one of them is. Maybe “Running with the Wolves”, and I’m only a little ashamed to admit that. OK, what about the editing by Richie Cody, Darren Holmes, and Darragh Byrne? I mean...yeah, it’s amazing, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? Animated films rarely have poor visual editing (unless they’re REALLY bad), and the sound editing usually takes the hit. However, no such problem here. Again, sound editing is fantastic in this movie, from voice mixing to sound effects to overall balance. It’s all pretty goddamn great. No complaints here.

Yeah, 94%. I mean, of course, right?

Sure, it’s not Ghibli-levels of profound, but it is fantastic all the same. Who cares about profundity, anyway? It’s just a good goddamn movie! And like I said in the beginning, I’ll be watching this again very soon. Beautiful.

But I think it’s time to start wrapping up the animated portion of this month with something closer to home. Now, I’d love to do Disney, and I was actually going to see Raya and the Last Dragon in theaters this week (yeah, really, not kidding), but other stuff got in the way. And I’ve seen all Disney films other than that. So, what’s another fully American studio who’s produced a movie that I somehow haven’t seen? And, that movie has to be fantasy? Well...

March 7, 2021: Onward (2020)

[thistle-and-thorn]

2 & 15 for the identity ask! (I may or may not be looking for some new books to read 😅)

ahhh thank you for the ask! :) Sorry if this is long but I am unable to concise and these are so hard!!!

2.) I mean GRRM probably, because I spend so much of my time writing smutty GoT fanfic. But seriously? C.S. Lewis is one--I read a lot of his work in school and when I was younger but now I'm trying to make an effort to read it all, in full. He's not a perfect fit (he says some homophobic and misogynistic stuff in his theological tracts) but he has also given me a lot of language to describe many profound experiences like grief, depression, self-hatred, violence, devotion, faith, love, etc. and the progression of his work is just so beautiful to witness--going from a cold logician to experiencing true love and true loss to finally combining these two. He also breaks down a lot of complicated theological and philosophical topics that I *want* to know about but I'm, like, too dumb lol--I feel like he must have been a great professor. He's also just a really good writer--I love his chaotic worldbuilding and creative turns of phrase.

Is it pretentious to say William Shakespeare? Because it's true lol. Just encounters I had with him: watching with my dad so he could prep his lessons, I was in an acting program that focused on Shakespeare and the growth I had through working with these other kids on this guy's writing: the poise, the patience, the generosity of spirit are things I keep with me. I saw a production of King Lear recently and I just--I spent the whole next day verklempt--how could this man from 500 yrs ago in England capture so perfectly my experiences with grief and dementia as a 24 yr old woman in the U.S.? That's just magic.

15.) This is so hard!

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis--I know I already talked about my man Clive Staples but this is my fave of his so far. It's his last and most profound book and a retelling of the myth of Cupid and Psyche. He def has a theological agenda but I honestly think it can just be read purely as a really good and innovative retelling of an overlooked myth.

Beware, Princess Elizabeth by Carolyn Meyer--A YA book about Queen Elizabeth I--this was the first book that got me into history of a specific period and I can directly trace majoring in European History to this book. I was eight and I remember the exact moment I picked it up and read the first lines.

Along the same lines, Sharon Kay Penman's Henry II trilogy can be kind of dry? But also made me cry on an airplane and spend a year researching saints cults. So. Very influential. XD

Mindfulness by Ellen Sanger (?)--still use this book to cope with anxiety.

Makes Me Wanna Holler by Nathan McCall--I read this for a college and it's stuck with me forever.

Also, in the same vein as GoT, The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner--re-reading with a friend and oof, there's an author unafraid to make uncomfy character choices and let you stew in them. It's like GoT but make it short, make it funny, make it ancient greece. and I'm currently enjoying the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel and i want to meme the whole experience.

OMG I could talk about books forever (and I know you have a little one--like I love children's books, hmu if you want storytime recs)--have you read anything that you enjoyed recently?

[lumiereandcogsworth]

WIP Game: Light, time, soft, music, sad, hope, happy, love, loud, angry, stun, strange, funny, castle, dance?

aahh so many!!! thank you!!!!

light (this is with chip!!)

“I need your help. Are you busy?”

“Nuh-uh,” he said, shaking his head with wide eyes.

Belle grinned and tousled his light curls, leading him back the way she came down another corridor of the castle.

——

time

He leaned into her touch, eyebrows drawing together in a fond gaze. “I’m glad you think so.” She smiled at him, her hand remaining on his cheek. Adam’s love for Belle grew more profound and undeniable with each passing moment, and it had been that way for quite some time now. He delicately moved one hand to her waist, heart pounding as he offered his next words. “Belle, can I kiss you again?”

——

soft (it’s about adam cuddling with his baby girl <3)

He carefully positioned Juliette in the crook of his arm, resting his other hand over her tiny tummy. He cuddled closer to her, his nose touching her soft head as he closed his eyes again.

——

music - this one isn’t posted, but it’s also about juliette! this time much older than being a little baby. probably like 15 or 16, i don’t know. she’s an incredible violinist your honor!!

She began playing the tune. It had a slow melody at first, but it soon picked up, the notes bouncing up and down right off of the strings. The king watched as his daughter melted into the music, her eyes shut as she concentrated on the rhythm. His silent study had suddenly filled with beautiful music— he was glad his windows were open, for he certainly hoped others would hear such a lovely piece.

——

sad

“You’re not fine, and you don’t have to pretend that you are with me.”

Adam looked at her with sad eyes, as though he desperately wanted to let his walls come down, but he didn’t know how.

——

hope - big oof, a prequel fic. adam is 19 and Sad

Lumiere folded his hands behind his back. How could he answer this? He’d been holding onto a seemingly empty hope for years that Adam would break out of his father’s mold. But, all too evidently, nothing had improved. In fact, the prince had fallen deeper into his father’s shadow, even as he’d been dead for four years.

——

happy - aww, i haven’t posted this one either but i should. i will on belle’s birthday. this is about her parents before she was born.

They’d found a home in some windmill outside of the city, but perfectly placed so Maurice could paint it any time he wished. Their home was a happy one. Covered in laughter and creaking floors beneath dancing feet and joyful singing voices that challenged the early morning birds.

——

love - man dude i probably have said love in like every one of my fics. whether it was a profession or a thought or a pet name. love is the essence of my fics. so here’s just one of soooo many lines.

“Darling Belle, you were born to be queen.”

Belle did not reply, only smiled and rested her head against his chest. But then she said, “Regardless of any truth in that statement, I’m still not going to love dancing with anyone as much as I love dancing with you.”

——

angry - from my beloved 18.8k adam prequel fic, the “she” is mrs. potts, and adam is 15.

She ran over to him, gently examining his arm. He winced at every touch, but he still silently let her care for him. “Oh, sweet boy, what’s he done to you now?” Her voice was angry, but powerless.

——

stun - i have never used this word in my writing!

——

strange - ugh, my beloved. pls everyone go read.

“My, looks so much bigger with everything packed away.” Maurice mused as he stepped into Belle’s bedroom. His daughter was sitting on her bed reading a book. That happens when you go through your things, you tend to stop and get fixed on one thing you thought you’d lost years ago, and then it absorbs you all too easily.

Belle looked up, a little startled at the sudden voice, but calmed to see her father. “I know, very strange, isn’t it?”

——

funny - belle and her daughter?? my angels??

The baby couldn’t stop laughing, and it warmed Belle’s heart to no end. Her smile was wide as she heard the little squeals and giggles from her daughter.

“Is that funny, lovie?” Belle pretended to nibble at her little hands, which only spurred the tiny laughter on. “You’re so happy today!” She leaned forward and smushed a kiss onto the baby’s nose, heart full as the infant continued her jovial noises.

——

castle - ALSO BELOVED. PLS GO READ <3

He turned back toward the rest of the castle as the sound of an inadvertent squeak of the door’s hinges reverberated into the abyss. “That’s going to wake someone.”

“Cogsworth,” Belle replied knowingly.

——

dance - another word that is in a lot of my fics. it’s the very essence of adam and belle!! i thought i’d pick the line that started it all from my extended movie scene fic <3

“I’m sorry for leaving like that.”

“No, no. I understand.”

She met his eyes, finding there a kindness that warmed her heart. She nodded and cleared her throat. “Well, then.” She opened her palms to the room. “What do you think? Coming along nicely enough?”

The Beast smiled, finding her ever so endearing. He looked around. “Yes,” he chuckled. “You’re making everything look so beautiful. We should have a dance tonight.”

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 'this line stabbed me in the soul' lines from books?

Oh man this is hard because I’m not always great at remembering quotes? But here’s a go at it, anyway. Some of these are less “ouch” than they are “oh fuck” which are often adjacent but not necessarily the same.

1. “What, anyway, was he to say? That intelligence could surpass and excel the blind force of evolution, with its emphasis on mutation, struggle, and death? That conscious cooperation was more efficient than feral competition? That Azad could be so much more than a mere battle, if it was used to articulate, to communicate, to define…? He’d done all that, said all that, and said it better than he ever could now.” -The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks

This is kind of a weird one, but this was a book that had been on my shelf for years that I finally read last December, and it promptly was like. a) shit do I know anyone who has read this so I can talk about it with them and b) I wonder if Ann Leckie has read this.

I don’t...really know how to explain my reaction to this quote, other than the ways that it is in the context of a man who has been invited to play this game, Azad, on which the structure of a fictional society/empire is based. It is a ruthlessly competitive game, and people are defined by their place in it. This bit is...about one of the central theses of this book, I think, which is the value of cooperation, of communication, of connection, over competition and subjugation. 

2. “Why? I made one mistake. Who doesn’t? But I despised men who accepted their fate. I shaped mine twenty times and had it broken twenty times in my hands. Of course it left me deformed and unserviceable, defective and dangerous to associate with…But what in God’s name has happened to charity?” -A Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett

I probably could’ve filled this whole list with Dorothy Dunnett lines because she is very good at punching me in the feelings on the regular, but I’m sticking to one and I chose this one from the first book in the Lymond Chronicles. It’s a defense and it isn’t. It comes at a profound low point; it comes, in fact, as part of a general plea for death and immediately before a suicide attempt. 

Just...god! I’ve talked a lot about how much I have feelings about characters who fight, fight, fight for their place in the world, no matter how many times they are broken, no matter how poorly they end up put back together, no matter what hideous thing it makes of them...

And at the same time: what in God’s name has happened to charity? That piece of this reminds me, a little, of the issue of the comic Animal Man that I still think about sometimes - the bit that includes maybe, for once, we could try to be kind.

3. “I don’t know at what point Jedao stopped regarding himself as a person, but once he decided he was a gun, everyone turned into a target.” -Raven Stratagem by Yoon Ha Lee

I’m so glad to have just seen you talk about Machineries of Empire because MACHINERIES OF EMPIRE and specifically Jedao and how much Jedao is designed to be My Type, and this line and...I mean, I was just talking about themes of agency and personhood and isn’t that just what this is.

And also just. A gorgeous turn/twist of phrase. Well done, Yoon Ha Lee, well done.

4. “That's how you get deathless, volchitsa. Walk the same tale over and over, until you wear a groove in the world, until even if you vanished, the tale would keep turning, keep playing, like a phonograph, and you'd have to get up again, even with a bullet through your eye, to play your part and say your lines.” -Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente

Narrative, the driving power of narrative, the way it shapes the figures in them, the way you become what you behave...in general I think Valente is one of my favorite prosaists and I think Deathless might be my favorite of her books that I’ve read so far, and I keep coming back to this quote.

5. “Thus it was that the great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning, and they said: ‘All roads are now bent.’” -The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien

Going to find this quote made me feel the burning sudden need to reread the Silm, so, whoops. And there are a few different quotes I could choose from it! Thought about the Doom of the Noldor, thought about the description of Fingolfin’s last stand, though about the last line of the Silmarillion section of the book (”if it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin”), and as I write this - well, those are all thematically aligned, aren’t they? And specifically thematically aligned with the thing I wrote my goddamn thesis about.

I just...I very, very much vibe with the melancholy of The Silmarillion. I respect Tolkien’s desire for eucatastrophe, but I think what I always come back to with Tolkien is the sorrow, is the deep sense of loss that permeates so much of his work. Victories are partial and conditional; the world is in a state of decline. Such is the fate of Arda Marred. There’s just such a sadness, there, but it’s a beautiful kind of sadness. Melancholy.

And while on the whole the Akallabeth is not my favorite section, this bit of its closing is just - I find it so beautiful, and resonant in its longing and desire for things that were - not in the sense of concrete history but in the sense of wonder, and the sense of something better that was lost. The phrase all roads are now bent just - oof. It makes me feel things in a way that I don’t always know how to handle.

And I mean. Mary Oliver punches me in the soul on the regular, but I feel like if I used quotes from her here it would just be. All five. Or at least three of five. 

[tinkerd]

Interview with Anne Both & David Litchfield first published on www.readingzone.com

A SHELTER FOR SADNESS TEMPLAR PUBLISHING JANUARY 2021

A SHELTER FOR SADNESS is a profound and moving picture book about how a young boy manages his feelings of sadness, not by ignoring them but in giving his sadness the space, care and thought that it needs. We asked author ANNE BOOTH to tell us what inspired the picture book, and illustrator DAVID LITCHFIELD about how he approached the illustrations: Q: What for you are the key ingredients for a great picture book? ANNE: For me, the words have to leave room for the pictures, the pictures have to capture the feeling of the words and extend the story, and both the words and the pictures have to be the best they can be for the demands of that book - be it a funny or a sad book or any other type. DAVID: Oof! that is a BIG question. I'm still trying to work that one out if I'm honest. For me what I personally love about picture books is that you can be transported to the furthest part of someone's imagination but still recognise yourself, and the world, in its pages. It's escapism but also empathy. It's crazy looking animals and creatures but they are experiencing some of the most human emotions of all. There are so many different ingredients that go into these books. But for me I think the ultimate goal is to tell a story that connects with children in the most imaginative way possible. Q: Can you tell us what you wanted to achieve in this book, about how we deal with sadness? ANNE: I hoped it would be good for both children and adults, and that it would help them cope with the type of sadness which stays with us and has to be coped with alongside everyday life. I wanted children to be told that they can build their sadness a shelter as early as possible, as I think that telling children to be 'resilient' (which is a good thing in itself) can sometimes be abusive - it can sometimes really be just saying 'don't tell us you are sad, even though as adults we are doing things which make you sad'. I think children have lots of things to be sad about - big and little things - and learning to build a shelter for their sadness can, paradoxically, help them have permission and space to be happy. DAVID: My hope for the book was to get children - and adults - to talk more about their emotions and how they are feeling. Don't just bundle them up inside. It's important to recognise how you are feeling, recognise that it's there and it exists. And talk it through with someone. A parent or a teacher, or just someone that you trust. The worst thing we can do as human beings is pretend that these feelings are not real and that we should just get over it. Q: Was there one thing that helped inspire the text? ANNE: Yes. I went to a talk at my church, and the speaker quoted this passage from Etty Hillesum; 'Give your sorrow all the space and shelter in yourself that is its due, for if everyone bears grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge - from which new sorrows will be born for others - then sorrow will never cease in this world. And if you have given sorrow the space it demands, then you may truly say: life is beautiful and so rich.' (Esther 'Etty' Hillesum (15 Jan 1914 - 30 Nov 1943) I wrote our picture book text in response to Etty Hillesum's words, so I was trying to expand on her idea that we need to give shelter to our sorrow / sadness, as I thought she had such a wise and beautiful vision, which was, amazingly, born out of her immense suffering as a Dutch Jewish woman under the Nazis, and someone who would actually die in the Holocaust. It was written as my creative response to her words, so writing it actually helped me to think and pray about my own sadness, and I felt it would be a good picture book, to help people cope with sadness that just can't be fixed, but which we need not to overwhelm us or turn us to hate or bitterness. I loved the idea that if we give shelter to our sadness we can truly say that 'life is beautiful and so rich'. Q: Was it a difficult text to write, as it is so pared back? ANNE: I think that because it came after the talk, and hearing Etty Hillesum's beautiful words, and after meditating on, and praying in response, to them, I didn't actually want to use many words. I wasn't paring back anything as such, I was just trying to find my best response to her words, and the writing of it came all at once, but I think the writing wouldn't have come that way if I hadn't already experienced and thought a lot about sadness for years, and hadn't deeply connected with Etty Hillesum's words. Q: Why did you decide the main character would be a boy? ANNE: As I was writing from my own point of view, and in response to Etty Hillesum, I suppose I thought the narrator might be a girl, but I was open to any interpretation. I'm not sure if it was the publisher or David who decided the main character would be a boy, but I am very happy with that. I hope it speaks to boys and girls, men and women, and I think that there is actually something good about it being a boy, as from a very young age, little boys are told to 'man up' and are put under particular pressure not to cry or express sadness - all part of toxic masculinity - so hopefully this will play a part in countering that and telling boys and girls that there is nothing to be ashamed about being sad. DAVID: I'm not sure how this was decided. For some reason I just instinctively drew a boy when I was sketching the book out. I think that's a case of me very much seeing myself in the character as I was making the book. Perhaps an argument can be made that some boys need more help in facing their emotions than girls. But to be honest, I think I just instinctively recognised myself in that character and drew him as a boy. Q: David, what drew you to this text, why did you want to illustrate it? DAVID: As soon as I read Anne's manuscript I knew that I 100% wanted to be the illustrator. I received the project over two years ago and I couldn't start straight away due to other project commitments. I was so scared that Templar would not be able to wait for me. But I was so happy and relieved that they decided to wait until I had finished the other books I was working on. The text just really connected with me and it stirred up some very raw emotions in me. I also recognised that it would be unlike any book I had ever drawn before and the challenge of creating it was something that I really wanted to take on. Q: How did you decide how to depict Sadness? DAVID: There have been a few really fantastic books recently that depict sadness and other emotions as an actual character. Some of my favourites are 'When sadness Comes To Call' by Eva Eland, 'Me and My Fear' by Francesca Senna, and 'Ruby's Worry' by Tom Percival. All of these handle these sensitive subjects so beautifully and visualise what an emotion could look like in the real world. I see our book very much as a continuation of these series of books and the themes they follow. They were definitely a big influence on me when I was drawing the book. In terms of the look of our Sadness, I came up with a number of ideas in my sketchbook. One was a very ghostly, scary looking thing. The other was a teardrop and one was a cloud. But then I just thought about what a typical six or seven year old might draw if I asked them to visualise their sadness. All these confusing and conflicting emotions might come together and it felt like a really messy, scruffy scribble would fit the bill perfectly. Also, I remember trying to articulate how I felt when I was young and the words just wouldn't come out. So drawing a confusing, mess of emotions just felt right. It's also a really great character to draw. you really do feel like you are getting some emotions out of your system and onto the paper when you draw Sadness. Q: David, Can you tell us how you create your images and that special luminosity in your pages? DAVID: Everything starts in my sketchbook and I will plan the whole book out with lots of scruffy sketches. But once I start making the final artwork I usually begin by making lots of very messy watercolour washes, letting the different colours naturally mix into each other. I will also take photos of other textures such as the bark of a tree, or concrete or the sky. I will then scan all of this into my computer and experiment with overlaying each of them together until I find a look and feel that I like. These will then generally take the form of a background for a spread. The characters and buildings I will usually draw out in my sketchbook and then scan these into my computer also. Using Photoshop I will position these over the backgrounds and add other textures over them and just see what works. Basically, its a lot of experimenting and seeing what works with all these different types of media and textures. The luminosity is just an extension of what my art teachers have always taught me about shade and light. But I do like to play around with light and the atmosphere that can bring to an image. I think I really appreciated the drama of light from watching too many Steven Spielberg films growing up. Q: Do you have a favourite spread? ANNE: I love them all! I think the last page is so, so beautiful and gives me hope, but that is because of all the pages that came before, so I couldn't choose! I think David has done an amazing job - the book is so beautiful. DAVID: I like a lot of them. I love the penultimate page where the boy and sadness are walking through the blooming garden. I like the spread early on where Sadness is going through all of the different ways it is feeling and all the different actions it is taking. But I think my favourite image is the simple one of Sadness and the boy sitting together on the log. They are not saying or doing anything, they are just together and there for each other. That's one of my favourite illustrations I have ever drawn in fact. I love it. Q: Will you be creating any more picture books about emotions? What are you working on now? ANNE: I would love to write more picture books about emotions. I have an idea I am trying to find words for - it isn't coming as easily as A Shelter for Sadness but I hope it can work. I also have a little picture book story I am working on, and I am revising and rewriting a middle grade novel, and am waiting to be given edits for an adult novel and should be starting a second adult novel, so I have lots to be getting on with! DAVID: I hope so. I think I will always try and convey emotion in my books and hope that the reader can recognise their own emotions in these stories. Q: Where is your favourite place to work? ANNE: I work in bed (where I am typing this) and in a little writing hut my husband built me in our garden. I also write sitting on the sofa or at the table. When the pandemic is over, I am so looking forward to working in a coffee shop again! I do find it very helpful, when I have lots of work to do, to go away for a few days, to somewhere like Gladstone's Library in Wales, or beautiful retreats in England or France or Ireland I have been to. DAVID: My favourite place to work doesn't actually exist yet. I would love to create art in a cabin in the woods, surrounded by nature. Unfortunately I haven't found that place yet, but I have hope that I will one day soon. At the minute, due to lockdown, I'm drawing my books in the corner of my bedroom, which is not ideal as I'm quite messy and it's quite a small space. It can get a bit frustrating. But, every once in a while I can pretend that I'm in that cabin in the woods and everything feels right again. Q: Where are you most likely to be found when you're not at your desk? ANNE: Maybe out with my husband, walking our dog, or reading in bed, or sitting watching something lovely - I really appreciate good TV and films and I love watching them with other people. I love chatting with family and friends and visiting them. For a post-pandemic answer, I want to leave my desk and travel to see friends and family. DAVID: Mainly riding my bike with my two sons, or walking our dog Maggie, or listening to music very loudly on my headphones. Thank you Anne and David for joining us on ReadingZone!

See original post here: https://readingzone.com/index.php?zone=sz&page=interview&authorid=623a7c5192eb0909e0d251c44bae33c1

[maliro-t]

tagged by the lovely @surprisegents​  below the cut 🙏🙏 thank u!!

1. Name: Maya

2: Gender: waves hand in a vaguely feminine direction

3. Star sign: libra

4. Height: 5′3"

5. Time: 6:55 when I finished this

6. Birthday: Oct 7th

7. Favorite band(s): well my longtime fave is death cab for cutie bc. I’m a sad b*tch I guess. Also, sorry to be an obscure music person, but I highkey love bitter ruin and foxtails brigade.

8. Favorite solo artist(s): mmm probably Mitski for the last couple years! Historically though, Sara Bareilles 

9. Song stuck in my head: none atm but that’s bc I’m listening to music

10. Last Movie: oh god it was night at the museum lmao, it randomly came on after something else we watched. definitely was a movie made in 2006, that’s for sure.

11. Last show: ok wait actually I have a shred of shame left that makes me not want to answer this,,,,,I’ll let you imagine. I will say instead that the last show I Finished was an Icelandic crime drama called the valhalla murders which I basically watched to fill time but it was surprisingly satisfying

12. When did you make this account: the very very end of 2013 so. you COULD dig through it if you want but also maybe do not!!

13. What do I post: I mean overall, fandom or no, it’s mostly just things I think are Pretty. I know I have an insp tag but really everything I rb is insp in some form or another. But yeah I mean idk. mainly pretty things and video game ladies (which I realize are the Same), with a general skew towards fantasy.

14. What is the last thing you googled: oh I’m playing ac valhalla right now and I was looking up how to find an artifact that I couldn’t get to for the life of me 🤡 sorry for being incompetent

 15. Other blogs: I have a fruits basket side blog (date of origin, 2014) that has about 10 posts on it from before I even really knew how this website worked and I’m not linking it, sorry folks. But generally this has been a Single Blog Affair for my entire run

16. Do I get asks: generally not really! only for ask memes, or maybe very very occasionally after I post something that gets enough of a reception. I do have like 20 very weird questions sitting in my ask box rn from when a friend was feeling particularly memey though

17. Why did I choose this url: I’ve talked about this before but it’s a bunch of different bits from my name (aka a made up word), which somehow was taken so I added a hyphen! The reason I decided on that is slightly more complicated and related to two of my very early fandoms.

18. Following: 411

19. Followers: 554

20. Average hours of sleep: probably six oof

21. Lucky number: 3!

22. Instruments: have played piano most of my life, plus violin (which I’m no where near as good at but still dabble in) and some self taught ukulele

23. What am I wearing: a random dress and a comfy red sweater/cardigan thing I love. 

24. Dream job: tumblr you can’t keep tricking me into thinking about the future, I won’t do it

25. Dream trip: unfortunately I have pretty terrible travel anxiety and basically,,,,, never desire to go Anywhere. I’m lucky to have been a lot of neat places with my family but also that was kind of. enough for me oof. So my 2020/2021 answer is a coffee shop.

26. Favorite food: lasagna,,,

27. Nationality: american

28. Favorite song: oh god, impossible to choose. one forever fave of mine is brothers on a hotel bed by dcfc but like. I’m only naming that one because I’ve loved it Forever. 

29. Last book I read: uhhh probably something for class oof, I guess it was Père Goriot which I had a tough time with because it has No plot but u know occasionally there was something very profound.

30. Top three fictional universes I would like to live in: hmmm okay. this is a question I have never really considered, believe it or not, but I think my answers are 1. the magicians, but specifically the books. the show would be a living hell 2. maybe unexpected but can I say stardust? movie or book tbh, there’s just the right balance of whimsy and peril imo, and no world-ending stakes 3.I’m gonna say dragon age for posterity even though I know it would objectively be terrible

i’ll tag @the-socially-unaccepted @barrynn @tightlemon if u guys want!! <3 

[freefaithhugs]

Episode six: fuckin yikes man

-y u always wearing orange Dana Sue

-regurts. Instant and profound regurts.

-homie said yeet

-oh Helen’s dress has pockets

-well look who it is, fuckin’ trouble

-and apparently we’re making it double with this Ty shenanigans

-ok gurl, but have you told ya son

-SIR THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE OF BUSINESS

-oh now she remembers

-Helen don’t got time, she bends time to her will

-oh this boy looking real guilty for a second. Oh a revelation he is having in this conversation not about him.

-Kyle has priorities

-I can’t blame CeCe cause I once joined chess club for a boy. It didn’t work out.

-heeeeleeen. Yussss drag them.

-SIMON SALT IS NOT A SPICE

-girl get your pepper metaphor out of here

-y tho? Is she? I always trust Helen, but I’m concerned

-so like my mom once dated my softball coach but I never got a nice convo. I just got awkward we are not talking about the elephant in the room moments. So be appreciative Ty

-and then he hit him with the HE DIED. OOF

-yo Ty has the deep emotional understanding of his own feelings. Yuss

-Isaac you girl great advice bebe but please don’t be shady

-Y WOULD YOU LET ANYONE ELSE LISTEN TO THAT TY!! OMG AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAHHHHH! Nooo

-yuss rally around this vulnerable woman! But also when are we getting this man’s backstory cause I love him. Nadeen Bebe let us help you.

-🦄

-FUCK FUCK FUCK

-like I know it wasn’t him but like he needs to say more than that

-y’all being hurtful for no reason. Also close that door again Ty. See what happens. I’ll throw hands for Annie

-what is this shirt? Is the sleeve just tucked in?

-gag me with a spoon

-I low key feel like Cal is just consistently making sex iduendos with every line.

-CeCe NO

-y does everyone just come strolling into this woman’s kitchen. Where is the health department. Where is the door that says employees only

-aw I do the same thing to my mom when I’m upset and don’t know how to talk about it

-Gabe is a real one. He knows what’s up

-god bless a depiction of a black man seeking therapy

-Jesus Christ my cat started hacking up a hair ball and I almost missed plot development.

- YuSss HeLen Teach her the way!!! I never should have doubted you

-HOT DAMN STRAWBEERY SHORT CAKE YO LOOKING FINE AS SHIT

-y’all don’t take your girl on a date to her place of work. That ain’t it.

-DA WHUT. IS THE DIVORCE EVEN DONE BEING PROCESSED

-Katie is so precious. I would die for her.

-ok Cal I see you. Good man

-sir if you don’t get off my damn porch in ya damn simply southern khaki shorts

-no one wants to be in the car with you sir

-the sense God have the Goooooose. Roast him

-honey god can’t fix stupid

-ty tell ya mama what you did son

-yuss a good depiction of boys having emotions. Ugh I love this show

-damn straight he don’t owe you nothin’ you good for nothin’

-that’s a big damn book

-my heart is breaking cause I love this man and I think they’d be so lovely together omg

-Isaac sweet lamb. Stahp getting yourself in trouble. Sir please no. Please don’t hurt the baby. Oh no Isaac sweet baby boy you Gonna make me cry