#prof-hemp

[unovadragoncongossip]

i heard that professor hemp left his booth so i ran to get some food while i waited for him to come back and UM???

[VIDEO: @prof-hemp420 and @subwaywardeningo walking together in the city. They're too far away for what they're saying to be heard, but at one point, Hemp takes Ingo's hand. Shortly after, Ingo turns noticeably red, even from a distance. The two rush off together into the crowds of Opelucid City, still holding hands.]

DID I MISS MY CHANCE TO SEE A PARADOX POKEMON EGG BECAUSE THE PROFESSOR WAS BUSY GETTING BUSY I'M SO MAD RN

OH NO! Is @prof-hemp420's realationship on the rocks with @yell-on-spikemuth

did we catch cheating!!!

SHOCK AND SCANDLE HERE AT ALL HOURS!!

[prof-hemp420]

You okay there kiddo? Wanna chat about it?

[iheartnimbassacity]

Wonderful to finally meet you. I have your not-wedding gift. Since I am giving it a day after your wedding. -@prof-hemp420 <in a box is a vest in Dave's size, full of all sorts of hidden joltik pockets.>

its nice to finally meet you too, hemp!

though YOOOOO, i have been actually been lookin fo one of these!

[unovadragoncongossip]

CRAZY Karen flips out at Dragoncon!

A subscriber sent us this video from the floor of dragoncon! <An embedded video begins to play. Someone is filming a video of @professor-amaryllis speaking with @prof-hemp420 while he sets up a booth. Behind him the Walking Wake, Proteus is curled up on a large pokebed and is napping. A kid comes running up, past a couple warning signs, intent on petting the large pokemon and Hemp gently puts his arm in the way. The kid collides with it and lands on their ass. The woman who seemed to be the kid's mother didn't look up from her phone. Looking around slowly the kid, about 12, begins to sob very intentionally. Glancing up at their mother.

Now the woman looks at her sobbing preeteen and wheels to face Hemp shrieking. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU TOUCHED MY BABY!"

Hemp seems taken aback and quite confused, however amy has picked up on this more quickly and pulls out the *dealing with a stupid parent* tone. "Ma'am that man may have just saved your child's life. Playing around any unknown Pokémon, no less a dragon could lead to grievous injury. This is no place for inattentive parents."

The woman visibly withers and scurries off, dragging her no longer sobbing brat. She shoots over her shoulder. "You haven't hear the last of this.">

[unovadragoncongossip]

<a video of what looks like @professor-amaryllis walking next to @prof-hemp420. It looks like Bellamy has a bit of a broken noses and Hemp has a bruised up forehead. There isn't much caught and a few moments later the report is caught by security and ejected from the building. It seems we are no longer welcome because Dragoncon does not support FREE SPEECH!>

[alexanders-pokemon-adventure]

I am not overly familiar with Terramara and I love a good story would you be willing to tell me about the region and your sword? @prof-hemp420 

I am curious about the sword

I um, what do you mean? Liberator? It belonged to my ancestor and he wielded it when he liberated Terramara.

[iheartnimbassacity]

@prof-hemp420 I have a potential solution.

For your Joltik issue.

Can you suggest a generator that would be run by something that spins. A lot.

prodessor hemp!! hi :]

hm, that might work! with all these new ones, i definitely need a real generator.

[unovadragoncongossip]

<The sounds of an commotion can be heard, someone begging someone else not to do something. Then @professor-amaryllis comes into view dragging @prof-hemp420 who is calmly stating that "They HAVE to know. I can't keep it a secret anymore." Amy mumbles something and only the word "Lawrence" can heard Hemp, who was already starting to breath quickly, his eyes darting for an exit, goes stiff letting, seeming to completely black out. He lets out a shrieking roar and slams into Amy, his forehead colliding with their nose. There is a cracking noise and blood can be seen on both Hemp's forehead and Amy's face. Both clatter to the ground and hemp can be heard snarling. "NEVER call me that. Only one person was ever able…" Then silence for a few moments. Amy says something, but once again it's not picked up. Hemp looks around, at people filming his eyes wide. He's gasping for breaths, and looks as if he's going to faint. Then he scoops up Amy and begins running, his right leg obliviously in poor condition. They round the corner, and the filmer tries to follow them but gets lost in the press of the crowd.>

[prof-hemp420]

As always, please put the question IN the ask. I don't want to have to look it up.

Z-Moves Ask Game! <3 (a bunch of random questions!)

Breakneck Blitz - Do you like things to be hectic or calm?

All-Out Pummeling - Do you enjoy battling? If so, what is the most fun part?

Supersonic Skystrike - Do you think that you should be allowed to fly on your pokémon's back? Why?

Acid Downpour - Have you ever eaten something you shouldn't have?

Tectonic Rage - Do you and your pokémon like the indoors or outdoors more?

Continental Crush - Have you ever gone hiking?

Savage Spin-Out - Do your pokémon have any accessories?

Never-Ending Nightmare - Do you dislike anyone specific? Why?

Corkscrew Crash - Do you enjoy the Sinistea rides at amusement parks?

Inferno Overdrive - Do you and your pokémon like the heat?

Hydro Vortex - Do you and your pokémon like the rain?

Bloom Doom - Have you grown a plant yourself before? DId it go well?

Gigavolt Havoc - Say about yourself or your pokémon that others usually find surprising!

Shattered Psyche - What is the worst take you've heard?

Subzero Slammer - Do you and your pokémon like the cold?

Devastating Drake - Are you empathetic?

Black Hole Eclipse - What is the weirdest rumour you've heard recently?

Twinkle Tackle - Did you have a favourite toy as a child, or do you have a favourite toy now?

Catastropika - Do you enjoy contests? If so, what is the most fun part?

Sinister Arrow Raid - Are you afraid of anything?

Malicious Moonsault - Do you think you're naturally malicious?

Oceanic Operetta - Do you like music? What is your favourite genre?

Guardian of Alola - Do you have anything you'd protect?

Soul-Stealing 7-Star Strike - Have you ever gotten into a physical fight?

Stoked Sparksurfer - Have you ever done or considered doing Mantine Surfing?

Pulverizing Pancake - What is your favourite and least favourite food? Why?

Extreme Evoboost - Can you adapt well in most situations?

Genesis Supernova - What legends do you believe in?

10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt - Do you like things to be more flashy or less flashy?

Clangorous Soulblaze - Do you like loud music, or do you prefer it to be calm?

Splintered Stormshards - Have you ever broken something intentionally?

Searing Sunraze Smash - Do you and your pokémon like the day?

Menacing Moonraze Maelstrom - Do you and your pokémon like the night?

Light That Burns the Sky - What legends do you like the most? Which ones the least?

Let's Snuggle Forever - Share a positive experience you've had recently!

[teamwinterofficial]

Hey Epoch. Listen I know you probally have huge plans that have to be swift in motion. But could you maybe stop doing things while LYSANDER is back on everyone's radar. Whatever you have planned it can wait while we stop the guy who wants to commit ONINCIDE! (This includes ice types)

Also seriously, there are better ways to sequester carbon and return the globe to a pre-industrial level. We're studying them on Terramara and if you freeze the world she dies and so does our research.

Maybe go plant some trees? Or non-THC producing actual hemp. You know the plant I'm named for. Do you know how much carbon hemp sequesters and then you can turn it into cloth. And that cloth can be used to replace cotton which takes so much water compared to hemp. <Cue several page essay on the benefits of hemp as an integral part of fiberwork, as well as everything else it can do and why it is a wonder crop>

@prof-hemp420

I am aware of who Lysandre is. I am aware as well of what he intends to accomplish.

Beauty is a fickle thing. A foolish value, and one that is necessarily in the eye of the beholder. I find beauty in the Pokémon I treasure, but I can hardly trust another to do the same.

To that end, I will gladly offer assistance if needed in order to prevent him from carrying out his plans.

Sincerely,

Team Winter Leader Epoch

[yell-on-spikemuth]

<A selfie of Hemp from what looks like a festival or faire of some sort. There are stalls offering up food and other goods everywhere, and people smiling. He's currently wearing makeup and has a flower crown on.>

Happy Trickster's Day my sweetling! Wish you were here, next year for sure! @prof-hemp420

ayee happy tricksters day t'you too,

that looks pretty fun over there. would love t join ya next year

over here marns n ive just been watchin shitty prank vids on the internet

[unovadragoncongossip]

a VANITY poll

OOC NOTE: This is about the accounts @official-raihan and @prof-hemp420 and for members of the pokeblogging community.

If you're curious, just use results.

[prof-hemp420]

Yeah but it might make it fuck off at the very least. The big goal here is getting it away from Ominicidial maniac over there.

Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck this I should've stayed at the lab today fuck me fuck my stupid decisions I'm screwed

Not taking another photo because my stupid camera's flash was on and it was definitely noticed so I can't take a better picture I'm too busy trying not to get caught

[OOC: Unblurred version for you lovely little people]

[official-raihan]

Prof Hemp's been bugging me to go to this thing. Though I'm not sure I'd be the sort who should go. I'm not an expert on dragons so much as.

Kinda draconic in nature and spirit?

@professor-mystic

Neat. Anything you've been having problems with?

[exceptional-everyman]

An abra arrives at the Treasure eatery, with a box of the tea @prof-hemp420 promised. There's a few teabags on the box that does have small warnings on it. warnings an oblivious overworked everyman would 100% miss

"Have a wonderful afternoon, this is one of my favourite blends for anxiety." -Hemp

Hey, just got the tea. It has a pretty unique smell, but I'm excited to try it anyway. Thanks again 👍 If you're ever in Paldea, come to Medali and I'll treat you to a meal.

[unovadragoncongossip]

i hear that Brighter Futures is going to be there! visitors will have an opportunity to meet a rare Paradox Pokemon!

-definitely NOT Mellont from @brighter-futures-pkmn

I mean... To be frank I think Professor Hemp beat you to that one.

This just in @prof-hemp420 has insulted brighter futures by stealing THEIR idea!