#proceeds to wreck shop

[bone-weaver]

I made dis

[combinationofstardust]

we are not talking about how date-like 1941 was. Before this night they've spent about 80 years not talking to each other because of the Holy Water Breakup, and we start the night with Crowley saving Aziraphale from discorporation, despite having to LITERALLY hurt himself by walking on consecrated ground. And then he saved Aziraphale's books!! Mr. Saving-Aziraphale-makes-me-so-happy saved Aziraphale's damsel-in-distress ass.

They drive through a burning, bombed city together and Aziraphale saves Crowley by agreeing to do a magic trick. They go back to Aziraphale's bookshop, arguably Crowley's favourite place ever, and roleplay-flirt as an American GI and a famous magician. And they go to a magic shop and flirt some more. Crowley helps pay for Aziraphale's magic trick because he supports his angel that much.

They proceed to head to the West End performing a magic trick that's just one big sex allegory, and Crowley's so worried he's going to shoot Aziraphale into discorporation his hands are SHAKING, and Aziraphale is putting SO MUCH trust into Crowley it hurts to watch.

The show ends. They flirt some more in the back room and this random demon walks in and tries to arrest them for their gay-ass relationship (sound familiar?). Crowley acts nonchalant but we know he's a nervous wreck (which we can analyze later) and Aziraphale says his own name in what is possibly the sexiest voice we've ever heard. He then saves Crowley by performing magic the human way, sleight-of-hand, making it the only time we EVER see it work.

Then they go home, drink Aziraphale's best wine over a candlelit dinner, successfully running away from their respective forces and their punishments, and exchange a romantic-ass conversation thst reinforces "our" side.

I am Not Well.

[ghxstyfae]

Jake Webber coquette girl? 😻‼️

Hi cutie🫶🏻 just did some headcanons for ya<3

Pearly Kisses ♡ J.Webber

Synopsis: headcanons of Jake Webber and his coquette gf

Warnings: 18 + under labelled section, cigarettes, let me know if i missed anything

Masterlist

Sfw

These two are like night and day, aesthetically speaking.

This causes them get looks (mostly from old ppl) wherever they go

Jake 'steals' her makeup

Sometimes when shes getting ready in the morning, sitting at her vanity with a fluffy headband and dozens of skincare and makeup products, he'll just sit on the floor beside her and watch

Makeup all over his bedsheets, especially mascara and lipsticks

"Jakey my dress doesnt have any pockets!! Can you keep my lipstick, wallet and phone in yours? Pretty please"

And of course he will, but tells her to leave her wallet at home because ?? Obviously hes gonna pay for anything she would need, and he's driving anywhere she needs to go.

Takes her to get her nails done on routine, he makes a whole day of it.

First, the appointment, if its a longer one he might leave for a bit and bring back some food for her and her tech. Next, they'll either go to get food if they havent already eaten, or some kinda drink (dunkin, tims, maccas, etc). Then they go shopping or thrifting, and finish the evening with dinner

Feels so out of place in her bedroom at first. Pastel pink, white, and cream shades were they only colours in her room + its full of clean, fluffy blankets and stuffies

"Jake theres literally a huge wine stain on my rug and empty snack wrappers everywhere idc if you make a mess"

But within a month half his tiktoks have a girly background because he records them while hes waiting for her to be done her makeup.

Jake now actively listens to Lana del rey on a daily basis, and his spotify wrapped will have atleast one of her songs on it

Sometimes, if gf happens to smoke, they share a cigarette and she leaves a lipstick stain on it

Speaking of, lipstick stains on his cheeks, neck, forehead, etc 24/7

Jake plans on getting her kiss mark tattooed on his neck after they get married

Nsfw

Likes to have her ride his cock in her tiny little miniskirts, will play with the bows in her hair and praise her for being such a good girl for him

Corruption kink goes brrr

Loves seeing tou all dolled up for him just so he can destroy it🤭

Valentines day special: bought her some cute lingerie and covered the room in pink flower petals, lit some candles and they had a beautiful dinner. He proceeds to absolutely WRECK her.

Would actually go FERAL if gf happened to have some kinda womb tattoo/trapstamp . just saying.

Hey, their isnt too many and they arent very good, so Im so sorry my love. I really hope you still enjoy though<3 if you'd like, id love to make a part two

My masterlist

[spiciestpotatoes]

Tummy Clinic Chronicles

Mutual suffering (1/2)

It was lunchtime at Lily's clinic. She was having lunch at the nearby sandwich shop with her friend Kayla. Today's sandwich of choice was the new pulled chicken special, which seemed to be all the rage that morning. She took her time enjoying it, seeing that her next client wasn't scheduled for another hour. She left the sandwich shop in half an hour, feeling happy she had some more time to drink a cup of coffee in peace. This idea, however, fell through as she spotted a troubled lady sitting in front of the door to her clinic. The womans arms were wrapped around her she seemed to be quite distressed. Lily approached the woman, putting a hand on her shoulder, asking, "Excuse me, miss? Can I help you?"

The lady looked up at Lily with a pained and pleading expression. "Oh, doctor, I know i don't have an appointment, but I uh- I was hoping you could take me...." she averts her gaze as she leans forward, more pain rocking her body. "Something I ate today has just been wrecking my stomach up.. can you help me please?"

Not wanting to prolong this woman's suffering, Lily takes the poor lady inside and has her sit in the main area while she takes her information. The woman, Mandy, rubs her belly under her shirt, trying desperately to ease whatever is torturing her from the inside. "What have you eaten today Mandy? Do you have an idea what might be causing you trouble?" Lily asks while taking Mandy to the examination table in the other room. "Uhh,,, all I had today was some cereal in the morning and the chicken special at the sandwich shop down the street. I'm not lactose intolerant so it might have been the sandwich? "

Lily pauses at this, having had the sandwich just 30 minutes prior. Trying to fool herself she says "It might just be your stomach reacting to something in the sandwich and not the sandwich itself being bad." She proceeds to give Mandy a gentle massage for her cramps and manages to send her home before her next patient is supposed to show up. As she closes the door, she feels a painful pang in the middle of her belly, instantly making her nervous.

Even though she's a tummy doctor, she hates dealing with tummy issues herself as she always has to take care of them on her own. Her patient's appointment comes and goes without anyone showing up, all the while her belly grows more painful. She feels a little bloated and is starting to feel the contents of her lunch brewing more violently inside as time passes.

She tries to relax in her chair, gently massaging her belly with little to no effect. A knock on the door jolts her from her worries and she gets up and opens the door to see Kayla's face. "Heyy.. are you busy? Are you with a patient?" she looks worried. "No, it's just me for now" Lily smiles weakly and opens the door wider to let Kayla inside. Kayla is Lily's closest friend and is also a doctor herself. They spend a lot of time together and have grown quite close since Lily has moved to this side of town and opened her clinic.

Kayla takes up a spot in the middle of the room, arms loosely crossed in front of her, " I don't really feel good Lily, my stomach has been all messed up and crampy and it only seems to be getting worse. Could you take a look at it? "

"Of course." Lily points her to the examination room and follows close behind. While Kayla goes to lay down, Lily grabs some supplies and as she's getting them, a cramp cuts through her middle, catching her by surprise. She leans forward and presses a hand to her stomach, not being able to prevent the tiny whimper that escapes her mouth. This doesn't go unnoticed and Kayla immediately inquires about Lily's situation.

"You know Kayla, I think we may be dealing with the same issue," Lily says as she places her hand on Kayla's bare tummy. "I just had a patient who ate the chicken special at the shop... and both of us ate it earlier, too. I think there might be something wrong with their chicken." Kayla reaches to place a hand on Lily's belly and instantly feels the cramping beneath her skin. Lily leans into her touch, not being able to contain the comfort she feels at the warmth of her hand. The cramps become more intense, and Lily is forced to support herself on the edge of the table.

"Oh dear, come sit here with me," Kayla sits up and pulls Lily down to the table so she can relax. "You should go home, you can't help anyone like this." Lily puts her head into her hands, " I guess I'll have to... although I fear for how many people might be dealing with the same issues as us." They quietly rub each others tummies for a minute, after which Kayla suggests writing a note and leaving for the day.

-----------------

End of part 1!

If you enjoyed this and want to hear the rest of the story, a.k.a. Kayla and Lily taking care of each other, check in later for the second part of the story, coming soon!

[evita-shelby]

could i request some drabbles:

Eva wanting to adopt a dog but it’s horrifically ugly (chewed up looking Chihuahua) and Tommy is like “hell no.” but Eva uses her daughters to wreck havoc on Tommy’s life and emotions until he inevitably caves. and despite his obvious disdain the dog ends up liking him best and tries to follow him everywhere much to his embarrassment when he tries to conduct Peaky business.

Thanks anon, gonna call you anon🐾 now

Xoco

Gif by @peakykoko

(No more taglists for these, we die like Grace)

“It looks like the one you had when you were little, mama!”

Those damn words started it all.

The salt and pepper chihuahua Eva arrived in Small Heath with had been old and sickly, but well cared for but the witch who had had Xoco since she was eleven years old.

It had a diamond necklace, for fuck’s sake.

Now this dog, also named Xoco, had been foisted upon him when the girls and their mother went shopping while he was meeting with the ministry of trade during their holiday in Mexico.

He had said no, Eva’s younger cousin Maddy, had given her two xolo dogs named Aristotle and Pesechat thus bringing them to four fucking dogs.

This did not include Charlie’s cats, their horses and the other animals that they had taken in at Arrow House.

“No, means no, sweetheart.” Tommy had been adamant, stood his ground and soon the matter was forgotten.

Except it wasn’t.

Flora cried the entire drive back to Chapultepec Castle, Diane glared at him until he sent them to their room, and even worse, Eva claimed to have a headache that night.

The first two he could weather; Charlie had gone through a phase where his tantrums had him questioning whether he could break his rule about no corporal punishment.

Thomas Michael Shelby enjoyed sex far too much to have his wife deny him.

Those months they were separated had been torture, but not enough to consider cheating on her because then she would kill him --- and he would have let her. And now having her deliberately do this while he is having to actually work this entire week is just cruel.

“Fine, the girls can have the rat they found on the street.” He said the next evening after Eva upped the ante by not wearing a damn thing to bed.

This had been preceded by Florence stealing all his glasses and Diane cutting holes in his pockets and both girls joining together to ruin the meeting he had before noon.

They returned home with the ugliest and most annoying dog he has ever had.

And yet, unlike the rest of the dogs –especially Cyril, that fucking traitor--- Xoco ,with it half-bitten little ears, incessant barking and need to leave to do her business outdoors through only the front door, had stuck to him like glue.

“That is the ugliest thing I have seen. Is that a diamond collar?” Ada said when she sees the little dog following him into the office and laying down protectively in front of his desk.

As if little Xoco could be of any protection.

“Yes, the girls picked her up in Mexico. She likes me for some fucking reason.” He said knowing his sister is trying not to tease him about it as he rubs his eyes.

This is made much worse when Xoco barks and snarls at his sister as if she were to attack him.

And when Ada doesn’t back off, the lapdog proceeds to attack.

It is a funny sight, seeing his sister shriek and retreat because a dog the size of rat is threatening to bite her, going as far as jumping at her hoping to get more than just her ankles.

“Call her off, Tom. This isn’t funny.” His sister said going as far as jumping into the chair to avoid being bitten by the little beast.

And he does, only after having a good laugh he hasn’t had since before France.

[little-mouse-gardens]

random au thoughts i have while playing video games part 2.

A part two to the stardew valley au future Donnie and farmer reader rambling post I made.

Some (I’m pretty sure most of these) I did type out on discord xd

Anyways-*tosses more of these out into the wild* here are some more that I’ve thought of, this one may be a little short

————————————————-————————————————-————————————————-————————————————-————————————————-———————

Imagining about future Donnie proposing to farmer reader at the jellyfish event with a ring he made himself. Stumbling over his own words and occasionally fumbling with the ring as he tries to make this memorable for them both.

He is secretly a nervous wreck-the thought of them saying no quite literally on the verge of breaking him slowly but surely in the back of his mind.

He was so so worried his starlight might reject him-

As he’s talking to farmer reader during the whole walk along the beach, he’s gently holding their hand in his. This soft smile on his face as he traces little shapes and words across the palm of their hand and when they get to the docks he finally gets down on one knee and pours out everything he wanted to say to them.

How much their willingness to understand go out of their way to visit him made him so happy. How much the love and understanding they shared between each-other meant so much to him. How their smile makes his heart soar or the way they laugh made him want to kiss them silly.

And farmer reader is just stunned for a good few moments as they gaze at the ring in his hand. Their heart is racing. Everything’s quiet except for the gently splashing of the waves hitting the shore.

He waits with bated breath, until reader slowly pulls him in for a tender kiss. Resting their forehead against his and their hands cupping his face as they pull away with happy tears in their eyes.

“Yes…forever and always Donnie”

In that moment Donatello didn’t even realize there were already happy tears of his own falling down his cheeks or the big goofy grin that spreads across his face as he slips the ring on their finger.

the whole time other villagers secretly hiding around the corner with streamers and congratulations swear they may have to catch him because he looks likes about to buckle to his knees.

the town may or may had a secret party hosted in town for them once reader said yes-like they preplanned this entire secret celebration the second Donnie stopped by Pierre’s place to ask him for advice on how to propose (yes, Pierre did proceed to come running out of his shop to shout the news at the top of lungs in excitement and yes-Donnie did bonk him on the head for doing so xd)

And the second that ring is put on their finger and Donnie doesn’t look like he’s going to faint, reader gets jump-scared by everyone running out and cheering as loud as possible. Streamers are being tossed into the air, confetti is being thrown around, everyone’s congratulating them on their engagement and guiding them towards the secret party in town to celebrate.

Meanwhile Donnie is just hoisting reader up into his arms, peppering kisses across their face while he murmurs words of love, appreciation and devotion to them.

Carrying them back to the town square to celebrate with them and the rest of pelican town of the joyous occasion. Dancing with them, laughing with them, watching the stars together if they need a break from the crowd. Just quietly tracing the engravings on their wedding rings of their favorite plants. The first plants they ever planted together

Not even a few weeks into their engagement he is already moving out of the small apartment above his shop and into the farmhouse with reader (Robin offers to upgrade the farmhouse as a wedding present but Donnie insists on doing it himself)

Everytime reader goes outside to check on him and his work on the house he’s already halfway done.

the moment he spots them he stops his work and guides them inside the house to help them with whatever they need. Cuddling into their side while they wash some freshly picked vegetables, going on about making a bee box to get some fresh honey while sipping lemonade with them at the dining room table

By the time their wedding date is closing he had the entire house finished

And it’s amazing

He makes everything to reader and his liking right down to the finest details. From the soft floral lavender wallpaper in the nursery upstairs just like reader had mentioned in passing, all the way to comfy chairs in the dining room reader talked about making once with him. It’s literally the house they both dreamed of.

And you can bet reader just smooches the life out of once they wake up in the morning and they see what he’s done for them both

The wedding is just as sweet and thought out as well, Donatello wants to make sure everything is perfect for reader. That their wedding is special and meaningful-and reader makes sure he tries not to stress over it too much. Distracting him occasionally by having him come outside with them to water the flowers in the greenhouse or cuddle under the shade of an apple tree snacking on some homemade blueberry pie.

Just enjoying the little things together before the big day.

when the wedding comes around it’s positively perfect. Everyone in town pitches in for the ceremony, fresh flowers and homemade food brought in from the other villagers. Rasmodius (hopefully I spelled that right xd) secretly does a little magic of his own so the moonlight jellyfish can appear during their first dance at the reception on the beach. Emily and Hailey help make readers outfit and get readers hair ready to walk down the aisle.

Their both teary eyed as they exchange heartfelt vows and when they just murmured the most soft ‘I do’ to each-other before they lean in for the most soft and tender kiss they ever gave each-other.

Just Smiling brightly throughout the reception and during their first dance, knowing that their farm and their new life was waiting just a few minutes walk away from the center of town.

[starwarsmum]

Day 15 sees a revival of a fic from October!

Part 1 Part 2

@maribat-calendar-events

It had taken some time - and a lot of convincing her parents that she would be fine moving there - but Marinette had successfully relocated to Gotham. She had kept her apartment in Paris for now, unwilling to relinquish the safety net, but she was excited to be trying something new.

The fact that Damian had offered to collect her from the airport and drive her to her new place? It had made what already felt like a good decision feel like a great one. And he had been just as deadpan as he had been when they first met, reinforcing her belief that he was just Like That. 

They had continued to message regularly since her arrival but it was now interspersed with actual time spent together. He would show up when she was feeling particularly burnt out with food and calming tea, or invite her out for coffee when she had been trapped in a creative frenzy for days on end.

But even with seeing him in person frequently she couldn't tell if he was interested in her romantically or not. And in spite of her desperation to keep a lid on the feelings and ignore them, they kept cropping up. When they were watching television late in the evening she would see him smirking at something funny and her heart would skip a beat. When he remembered her order at her local coffee shop her heart melted.

The only thing holding her back? She had been too invested in a relationship before and it had been so out of balance that it had wrecked their friendship. She could still talk to Adrien, they still hung out with the same friends, but they couldn't spend time alone together. And he had given up the cat Miraculous without hesitation, setting him free from their shared responsibility.

So she didn't tell him how she felt, squashing the butterflies and refusing to try overanalysing his small smiles and the way his hand would linger on her cheek when they shared une bise when parting. She loved her friendship with Damian and was sure that her feelings would ruin it.

On this particular morning they had agreed to meet relatively early so they could talk over a joint proposal for a new animal shelter. Marinette had also been designing a new line of which she was going to put fifty percent of the proceeds towards charity. It was a dream they shared: to help protect animals that needed it.

Their meeting went well, with Damian complimenting her work so much her face felt sunburnt. She gave him just as many compliments back while trying not to take too much pleasure in the pleased smile that kept growing on his own face.

“I think we have covered everything in enough detail,” Damian said after a couple of hours, stretching. Marinette followed suit, her bones creaking slightly as she came out of her hunched posture. “Shall we get lunch?”

“I'd like that! Is there somewhere good locally or shall we head back to my apartment for something?” 

“There is something I would like to speak about with you, preferably not under the watchful gaze of the public,” he said offhandedly. 

“Um, sure!” Marinette squeaked, hope leaping in her chest even as she scolded herself for it. “Do you want to get from that vegan place around the corner from mine?”

The trip back to her place was full of general chit chat, and Marinette asked about Titus and Alfred while Damian asked how her parents were. She continued to shove down the domesticity of it, reminding herself that both Jon and Kon have told her Damian didn't do small talk. Of course he would ask about something more meaningful than the weather.

It wasn't until after they had eaten that Damian attempted to broach the topic he had alluded to. Her heart rate sped as he turned to her and took her hand. Try as she might, she couldn't stop her mind racing ahead to thoughts of him kissing her.

“Marinette, you have evidently been made aware that I do not appreciate being touched without my consent,” he began, his eyes fixed to hers. She nodded and he continued. “And I wanted to thank you for being so cautious and mindful of me. But I would like to kiss you, now that we have been dating for two months.”

“I'm sorry, we've been what now?” Marinette was stunned, eyes wide as Damian looked at her in confusion.

“Dating for the past two months?” He hesitated before continuing. “And you have been patient with me, allowing me to set the pace of our relationship. I had assumed, since you are very affectionate, that you would not mind an increase in the more physical aspect but if I am wrong-”

“Damian, hold on for a second. You think we've been dating for two months?”

“Do you not?” He seemed astonished, and a little worried. “Marinette, we have been spending a lot of time together, going to dinner, eating here…I assumed that when I asked you out initially you understood it was a romantic invitation.”

“When did you ask me out?” Marinette thought back over the most recent months frantically, trying to determine how she could have missed such an important moment. 

“When I brought you to your apartment after your flight?” He was definitely worried now, his hand withdrawing from her own. Had she been in any decent frame of mind she would have stopped him and held it tighter, but the revelation that she had apparently wasted two months of her time with Damian thinking they were just friends was debilitating.

“Perhaps I should go, I am feeling unspeakably foolish,” he murmured, a flush across his neck. “Marinette, I am so very sorry for my assumptions, I hope that you can forgive-”

“Damian, can you please stop talking for two minutes?” His mouth snapped shut and he watched her warily. She took the two minutes of silence to collect her thoughts. “How has this not come up before now? I have been driving myself crazy trying to convince myself that you have no interest in me.”

“How could I not be interested in you? You are a beautiful, intelligent, courageous woman and I have been infatuated with you since we destroyed Luthor's animal cruelty laboratory. Why would you try to convince yourself that I was not interested?”

“Damian, do you have any idea how amazing you are? You are so far out of my league I'm not sure we're playing the same game. God, the number of times I've wanted to kiss you and held back because I didn't want to wreck our friendship.”

“So you are not opposed to a relationship with me?” He moved closer to her again, resting an arm along the back of the sofa behind her. “I think I would like to resume my earlier line of inquiry now.”

Marinette pulled him forward into the first kiss of many.

[kariachi]

Okay, going by UAF canon (because OV canon just took 90% of things we learned regarding Kevin and threw them in a fire), Kevin's mom. This woman.

She goes grocery shopping, so that she can host her son for dinner. When she comes back, his precious car is parked out front. Her house has several broken windows and a massive fucking hole where the front door used to be. And so she presumably leaves her vehicle (because that certainly doesn't look like the sort of area that has stores close enough to walk with a load of groceries) and gathers up the groceries before heading inside.

This woman is either the least observant or the most unflappable person in this show. Those are our options- either she did not notice that her house had been ransacked while she was out despite the hole, or she did and was just like 'yeah that might as well happen'.

"But Achi, Harvey said Kevin wrecked their old place so maybe she just expects it" Please stop for a moment, and consider. You arrive at your house to find your son's car parked outside. Where the front door used to be, there is a truly massive hole. You believe this to be tied somehow to your son.

Is your immediate reaction to bring in the groceries?

That's what gets me. Because no matter what way you slice it, this is not a situation where a normal person 1) wants to have their hands full, or 2) is thinking about the goddamn groceries. Like I said, that doesn't look like the sort of area where you'd be walking to a store and back, odds are she had to start unloading a car. She would have had to get out of her car, see the big-ass hole in her house, and proceed to unload groceries. Even assuming she's blaming this on Kevin, either her son is wrecking her house or somebody has shown up to attack her son in her house, and in either case she grabbed the fucking groceries before investigating.

Whether it's due to Kevin, whether it's just her, I don't know, but this woman either has a negative perception modifier, or is entirely unshakable.

[url-is-url]

Danny Phantom/Miraculous Ladybug crossover concept

Vlad Masters and Gabriel Agreste are Evil Rich Guy Buddies, so Danielle and Adrien are acquainted.

After flying off into the sunset, Dani travels the world and naturally ends up in Paris, where she befriends Ladybug and Chat Noir while fighting some awful ghost monster that crawled up out of the catacombs. Dani immediately clocks that Chat Noir is her old pal Adrien, because she obviously recognizes one of the very few fellow children she was ever allowed to hang out with, and if/when she meets Marinette she immediately clocks her as Ladybug because kwamis ping her ghost sense too. Adrien is totally oblivious, because why would his American pal be a superhero in France?

Later, Dani gets nearly akumatized. Unfortunately for Gabriel, Vlad trained her to throw off overshadowing with ease and akumatization is close enough that, not only does she resist it, she follows the mental link backwards and overshadows Gabriel instead. She wasn't expecting that her dad's rich asshole buddy would be Hawkmoth, but she's not surprised either. She also has a big chip on her shoulder about experimenting on small supernatural beings, so when she finds out what Gabriel's been up to with the kwamis, she proceeds to WRECK. SHOP.

Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't sure if they're impressed or terrified.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The One That Takes Place on an Adult Film Set

So if Grave Peril was where we really got to know the Red Court and really dig into one type of vampire, this is where we get the rest of the vampires. This book is a weird amalgamation of Harry breaking an entropy curse on a porn set and Harry LARP-ing the fast few chapters of Dracula. There is just so much weird mirroring in this book too, everything from Harry learning about the real nature of his relationship to Thomas, which mirrors Lara and Inari's relationship to Harry's "porn stars are people too" stance that gets really contradicted by the fact that the only non-Ex-Mrs.-Genosa casualty is the single mother of two who keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table by starring in porn films. Like...For all Harry's protestations of open-mindedness, the entire *premise* of the adult film chunks of this book are "we are punishing porn stars for being porn stars." So let's talk Blood Rites.

This is your SPOILER WARNING and also your CONTENT WARNING for discussions of sex, pornography, and mental assault.

There are three main thrusts to this book (pun sort of intended, but I feel bad about it). There's Harry's Family Stuff and the White Court, there is the Black Court, and there is Arturo Genosa and the adult film. Let's take those in reverse order, because that just feels easiest.

The thing that pulls Harry into this book is Thomas Wraith showing up and asking Harry to help a buddy of his who is cursed. Arturo Genosa apparently really likes sticking his dick in crazy, because he has three ex-wives who have banded together after finding out that he's planning to marry again, but the new bride does not have to sign the same prenup they did, which will screw them out of their shares of Genosa's estate when he dies. Unfortunately, because fax machines are not great, the name of the new bride is smudged to hell and back, so rather than trying to decipher it and target just one person, the ex-wife brigade adopts a spray-and-pray method (double entendre also intended, and I feel less bad about this one). So they basically curse the studio and every woman around Genosa is in the firing line, which is what Harry has been hired to stop.

This gets WEIRDLY slapstick at times, since someone tries to take Harry out with a blowgun, and a frozen turkey quite literally falls from the sky. What is decidedly not slapstick is the sheer level of catty woman-on-woman violence, pettiness, and vitriol. Like, yes, this bullying and violence dynamic exists and deserves page time, but the point is WILDLY undercut when you drop the whole conflict into a highly sexually charged environment and trip into classic horror tropes like the final girl, the brides of Dracula (which is absolutely the vibe in the Wraith Deeps), and punishing sex workers for sex work. You've just basically undercut any other point you're trying to make, because you haven't subverted jack shit and you are so buried in tropes and heteronormative sex that any sense beyond "women are literal monsters" gets completely eclipsed. Like, I'm genuinely shocked that Butcher didn't somehow work a vagina dentata or a sarlacc joke into this book.

Now, running in the background of Harry and the Porn Film is Mavra, a Black Court vampire who is full-on coming for Harry and working to rebuild her court. Harry decides that the best course of action here is to go old school: Find the nest and burn it out before the baby vamps can hurt anyone else. Which, frankly? I support. The Black Court can and should get wiped off the face of the earth. And for the most part, this section is just fun to read. Harry, Murphy, and Kincaid--with Ebenezer McCoy as their wheelman--track the scourge of vampires to their lair in a homeless shelter and proceed to wreck shop on them. Harry even manages to get a group of captured kids out of there in one piece. Well, the kids are in one piece. Harry gets his hand dry-roasted because his shields aren't designed for thermal regulation. That's going to be extremely relevant in terms of lore and character building for the next few books, until Butcher basically forgets about it. But in general, it's a kickass quest and is largely successful.

My only real beef with this scene is the five or so minutes where Murphy is traversing a set of lasers wired to claymore mines and Kincaid has to take her pants off to buy her a quarter inch of space. Which like, is fair enough in practical terms, but Kincaid, Harry, and the book itself sexualize this in a way that is just absolutely gross and unnecessary, and I'm pretty sure it was 100% just so that Harry could smirk about Murphy gunfighting in panties with a little bow on them. Which made me want to take his staff and clock him across the jaw. Multiple times. This was not required, and it just keeps adding to the pattern of sexualizing women in deadly situations...holy crap, did we accidentally wander into a Joss Whedon project?

This scene does set up Murphy and Kincaid's relationship though, which will be relevant for like...maybe one other book? So fine. It also highlights that Kincaid and the White Council DO NOT get along, since he and McCoy draw on each other on sight and Harry almost doesn't manage to talk them down. So we do get some interesting insight into who the White Council does and does not approve of.

I suppose I have to stop stalling now, and actually address the White Court and the Family Stuff.

For any of this book to make sense, we need to know a little bit of history. Mostly that Lord Wraith, Thomas, Lara, and Inari's father, had just the biggest boner for Harry's mother, Margaret Le Fay. Margaret spent a lot of time in the White Court, gave birth to Thomas, and then peaced out. On her way out the door though, she cursed Lord Wraith so that his hunger--the demon that makes him a White Court vampire--couldn't feed. So he hasn't been able to feed since before Harry was born, is dangerously weak--but somehow still strong enough to be STRONGLY implied to be grooming and assaulting his children--and is losing power internally. So yes, Daddy Wraith is a piece of utter garbage, and when we start the book, Inari and Lara are both working for Genosa. Thomas is trying to spare Inari from ever becoming a White Court vampire, while Lara is actively yeeting her AT HARRY to try to awaken her hunger. This is just a bad situation all around.

That said though, this is the book where Harry starts to really gather family--blood family--around him, because in addition to leaving a curse for Lord Wraith, Margaret left mental messages for both her sons that they unlock in this book, so they would know who and what they are to each other in case she wasn't there to connect them.

And as much as I hate to admit feels for anything in this book, the messages she left and the emotional rollercoaster of discovering that you HAVE a brother and that you actually LIKE that brother gave me feels. Harry and Thomas desperately need each other, and now they have each other, and they can trust each other. That's huge for both of them. They both have to play that information very close to the chest, but THEY know, and that's kind of the important thing.

That also makes the end of this book, in the Wraith Deeps, even more complicated because family plus politics is never NOT messy. Lara full-on stages a coup to take control of the White Court, thanks to Harry outing Lord Wraith's curse and utter disregard for any of his children to her. The way it shakes out though, is with Lara in charge, Inari free, and Thomas living with Harry because Lara banished his ass.

Again though, we have Murphy being mentally and physically assaulted in the Deeps, and no, Butcher, him being "the lord of the freaking nation of sexual predators" (p. 330) does not go any distance to excusing or defending it. Like...Perhaps we could STAHP assaulting women everywhere? For five minutes?

Overall, I think this is one of the more forgettable early Dresden Files books, and it falls into horror and vampire tropes way too easily, even when Harry himself is trying to insist that he's open-minded or chivalrous. Clearing out the Black Court hideout was fun, and Harry and Thomas knowing about each other was lovely, but honestly the rest of this book is SO WEIRD about sex and consent and lust that it really did out me off.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MOUSE!!! Mouse is the goodest boi, and the best thing to come out of the book. He is a Foo Dog who adopts Harry, and that's basically it in this book, but keep an eye out, because Mouse is the BEST.

[doctorstrangereview]

0081: Sub-Mariner #22

Cover Date: February 1970 On-Sale Date: November 12, 1969

Doc enters a wilderness era for the next few years. With no title of his own, he is a guest star in other magazines. Roy decided not to let the cancellation of Doc's solo title rob readers of closure for the The Undying One's tale. Instead he manages to work a further installment and a conclusion in other titles he writes. At the conclusion of the arc Doc enters a brief retirement. As I've said earlier, these stories are seeds of The Defenders and you just can't keep a good magician down.

This is Namor's mag, not Doc's and I haven't read this run outside the issue being reviewed. Meaning I'm not completely aware of the context. Namor is returning to Atlantis. On his previous adventure it appears that he was experimented on and has lost the ability to breathe underwater. Not to worry, Atlantis's scientists seem to have a cure for this. Namor is led to a big, air-filled transparent cylinder where this curing treatment will be applied. While his girlfriend Dorma frets on the sidelines, anesthetic makes Namor sleepy providing an excuse for him to flash back to recent events. He doesn't get far into the replay when Doc rudely interrupts his musings. He goes as far as making Dorma's visage transform into the Nameless One idol. That's gotta be creepy.

Doc proceeds to give Namor a history lesson going all the way back to when the Earth was still a ball of molten lava. He explains that the Undying Ones came through a rift in space and took over the planet. The Undying Ones were ruled over by The Nameless One who was just as cruel to the race of demons as the demons were to the newly evolved creatures we call humans. Man, everybody is jerk in this story!

The lesson continues. The Undying Ones continue being jerks to the humans up until about 1,000 years ago when they got weak and bolted back to their home dimension. Some humans remained loyal to the extra-dimensional jerks giving birth to things like witch hunts.

Doc then tells Namor about the Nameless One idol which is a touchstone between the Undying Ones pad and Earth. Doc tells Namor the history lesson is over and he can wake up now. He does wake up thinking the idol is in front of him, but it's not and he realizes it was a dream. He then immediately heads to Boston to search for the ugly thing. He's not sure why he goes there, but some instinct drives him so. Realizing that walking around Boston half-naked may not be the most efficient way to search for the idol, he breaks into and takes some clothes from a charity shop. To his credit, he leaves some gold for them.

He winds up wandering up to Kenneth Ward's house. He's about to knock on the door when a symbol that looks suspiciously like the Nameless One idol briefly appears. Before he can know, the door opens and a woman tells Namor that she's been waiting for him.

The woman introduces herself as Joella Ward and says Namor isn't actually who she was expecting. Namor introduces himself as MacKenzie. Thanks Dad for giving me a last name! A voice in his head prompts Namor to search the den. The den is a wreck from the previous battle with Doc. As Namor looks over the slashed portrait of Kenny Ward, an Undying One pops out of nowhere to attack Namor.

Namor and the demon engage in some serious fisticuffs. The demon manages to rip off Namor's stolen clothes while Namor seems to beat the demon to death who subsequently evaporates. Namor checks on Joella who appears to have been attacked by the demon before he struck at Namor. He then looks at the back of another portrait and finds a clue to the idol's whereabouts.

The portrait looks just like Joella, just a little out of current fashion. Joella claims she's her grandmother. Namor drags Joella outside while being very misogynistic.

Outside is a statue of John Goodwin who was a judge at some witch trials. Joella suddenly gets faint while Namor picks up the statue. Lo and behold! The Nameless One idol is there! As Namor reaches for it, Doc is suddenly there to snatch it away. Namor is angry at manipulated by Doc, but Doc has something more important to take care of. He reveals Joella as an Undying One. She's not thrilled at this and instead of facing her masters for he failure she prefers to off herself.

Doc brings Namor and himself back into Kenny's brownstone (Namor refers to it as a mansion) where he fixes Kenny's portrait and recounts the events of Doc #183. Doc and Namor look at the "grandmother" portrait. Kenny didn't actually have a daughter so the Undying Ones used the woman's likeness to conjure one. Granny is holding a cat in the portrait and realizes that "Joella's" cat is another Undying One. The "cat" grabs the idol and suddenly a rip in space appears through which The Nameless One jumps through. Namor fights off The Nameless One while Doc conjures some water around him to juice him up a bit while he fends off the "cat" demon. Namor manages to push The Nameless One back through the portal to its dimension. Doc follows him to help out.

Doc manages to keep the idol out of the demons' hands. Namor suggests they go back through the portal, but Doc realizes that he must remain to keep the demons at bay. Namor offers to do it, but Doc ain't having none of that and shoves him back to Earth.

Back on Earth Namor realizes that the world owes an immeasurable debt to Doc.

This is definitely a Namor story so he gets most of the action. Doc is a bit sidelined without a plausible explanation. It's never even explained why Doc needs the Sub-Mariner to do this search for him. I'm not sure if Roy has ever elucidated on it. But this does plant the seeds of The Defenders so Roy did a good thing carrying the story on here.

Marie Severin returns to draw Doc. Her hand seems steadier here than her previous Doc stories. Maybe her technique improved or maybe she has a better inker. She does a decent job of crossing Kirby with Marvel House style. She avoids backgrounds in what should be the wonderfully weird (or horrifying) world of the Undying Ones and that is disappointing. Roy gives a mostly well written story with a couple of questionable elements. He's knows this is Namor story and has to give him the best lines and action. It's not clear that this is technically a cliffhanger ending. A contemporary reader my think that Doc is stuck fighting The Undying Ones forever. Fortunately this is not the case and Roy will wrap this up while collecting the third member of The Defenders.

[perpetuallylate1890]

10 years of Bill Cipher Fanzine!

I was honored to be part of the zine last winter. Everyone is amazingly talented and kind, and working on this project felt surreal. If you haven't already, give the magazine an order. The art and stories are incredible, and proceeds will help kids in Ukraine affected by the war. The shop link is below:

Without further ado, here is a snippet of my piece, Fashion Disaster!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was splendid. He was glorious. He was magnificent.

Flames alight in every hand, Bill Cipher descended towards the mortals cowering in a wrecked spacecraft. Their leader, a scrawny kid with acne, dropped his gun in slack-jawed terror. Bill’s entrance was, as usual, on point. He made for an imposing figure in his cape and vertebrae crown, bricks glowing with nightmarish power. The lightning of the Nightmare Realm framed his silhouette in flashing gold. He prepared to launch into his speech, flames roaring higher, and–

His cape snagged on a metal rod.  He tugged at it. It didn’t budge. Irritated, he yanked harder. It gave with a rip and the momentum sent him flying into a nearby wall.

[f0point5]

Like no words… processing with that latest part….

…

…

…

Ok. Now that I’ve done some processing, I’m gonna attempt to put some thoughts into words from the last few days.

1) Lando’s texts with Max & plans for COTA. “Big head & the body that carries it around” 😂😂😂 Lando knows what he’s doing with stirring the pot.

2) Elliot… she didn’t get your flirty implication or she chose to ignore it. Don’t ask something twice expecting a different result. And if a 3x WDC can’t teach her padel, what hope do you have? Also Elliot don’t make a big deal out of her not mentioning her birthday. Not everyone likes to talk about or bring up their birthday.

3) I really want to know what y/n’s response to Max’s come to my room and find out text… like 😏👀

4) I wonder what that package Lando had delivered to Max’s place was and if it had anything to do with the convo about Lando’s watch person & whatever surprise Max is cooking up.

5) what’s the dress y/n found for… like is it for a gala, a birthday, a dinner… like I want to know soo bad.

6) CLARA… MA’AM. her contact name for Max is great. And then she casually says she needs to ask Max a question, proceeds to send a lingère pic of Y/N and boldly just asks why he has her in friend zone. Cause it’s the question all their friends are thinking but no one has being willingly to straight up ask it like that. And then Max gets all flustered with who took the photo & says he shouldn’t be seeing it. And that he’s the wrong person to talk to about this.

7) What is Clara hinting at when she says I know what you did Max and he asks what she wants from him at the moment?

8) that last photo set with max & y/n’s messages where she can read him at the restaurant & wants to make sure he is ok. And cares more about him being ok than caring weather or not they have people over at their place after dinner.

9) I know he says he’s ok but I think he’s still processing that convo with Clara & that picture. I could be wrong but I was interpreting the shopping pics, Clara & Max’s texts & the dinner happening on the same day.

10) (didn’t realize I got to double digits already 😂😂😂) Christian’s & Max’s texts about COTA & where y/n is staying. Cause Christian asking if everything was ok cause of getting the call for an extra room. I feel like he wants them to be together as well but won’t say any of those opinons out loud.

11) (Last one I think for now. I need to just press ask before I think of more things as I type) Excited for race week content & how things will play out at COTA. I hope we find out at some point what plans you had before discovering Lando is now in the States.

Thoroughly enjoying this. Keep cooking

1) I almost didn’t put that joke in because it seemed too sophisticated for Lando lol

2) Lol tbf in my head Elliot is a better padel player than Max. That doesn’t make you a better teacher though and Y/N isn’t going to want to get sweaty and frustrated in front of a guy she’s dating. It’s not cute. Like…what was he even hoping for exactly!

3) She RAN to his room 🏃‍♀️💨

4) Max is cooking a surprise?

5) Haha it’s not that deep what it’s for necessarily

6) Clara is a whole wrecking ball lol she’s wild. She’s like Lando but 37x more unhinged. She will use everything at her disposal to get what she wants and she can get away with it. Love that for her lol.

7) She was referencing what he asked for her to help him with before Qatar.

8) They’re cute and telepathic lol

9) It all happened on the same day, and Max was processing. That wasn’t the end of his conversation with Clara, she has something on him, and he’s seen the Y/N pic, on top of everything else that’s already on his mind. On top of a day trip to Austria. Man’s probably knackered and anxious.

10) Christian wants his kids to be happy, and he wants peace lol

IT’S COOKING

[the-light-finds-its-way]

For real, I live for Cayde and Ratchet interactions Ratchet's like "please I deal with idiots like him on a daily basis. i can handle him" also "Cayde! I needed that!"

Ratchet: Cayde, it's time to wind down and give me back what I need.

Cayde: *mimics windup toy noise* NEVER!!!!!!!! *proceeds to wreck the entire shop in 0.005 seconds*

Ratchet: *sighing heavily, shoots one leg so Cayde can't jump anymore*

Cayde: :(

Ratchet: You'll be needing that leg, so give me what I need, or no more jumping around.

Cayde: Fine. *hands The Thing over*

Ratchet: Ok, on the table. Let me see your leg.

[mlgneverdies]

Wait, so for the Chai X Rebecca pairing

Do CP2077 and HFR take place in the same setting, or did Becca get isekai'd into HFR's world?

Either one works

I like to think if it were the former and Chai was at Arasaka Tower to back up his girl, he Magnet Links to Rebecca and tackles her out of the way with the force built up so she doesn't get pancaked, then proceeds to wreck shop on Adam Smasher (I like to think if he's pissed during it, his MP3 plays Dying Breed by Five Finger Death Punch while his Rip and Tear arms are out to really being the pain)

If anyone wants to draw that scenario, make like Belle and be my guest

[halonicheart]

The Dress

I originally wanted to make a fic of this idea but it hasn’t really worked out well. I still wish to share this idea.

Before Lovette and co finally enter Ishgard, Haurchefant pulls her aside to speak with her. Truth be told, he was procrastinating on desk work that really needed to be done, and it will at some point, just certainly not this moment. It’s with good intention he’s putting off work, he wanted to see how she was doing. It was a mere day or so before her and her brother finally get to set foot in the city state from which their parents were born and raised in. Alas, were it only under better circumstances…

Still, surely she must at least be a little bit happy to see it and he can finally fulfill the promise he made the night they first met. Rather than go on and on about Ishgard, he poses her a question. When the dust has settled, what are her hopes for this place? Would she wish to live there? Oh he most certainly hopes so, even if she still chose to wander and simply have a home to return to in Ishgard Haurchefant would he content with that.

Lovette isn't entirely sure how to answer, she pined just to see it for so long that she never really thought on what would happen if and when she finally did. There's apart of her that worries she's romanticized it, to some extent, what if it wasn't all that her mother said it would be? No use pondering that whilst Haurchefant is staring at her expectantly. She needed to come up with something other than "I'm not sure..." Even if it was the truth.

She proceeds to mumble the first thing that comes to mind, something about a dress. Lovette wished for the earth to swallow her when Haurchefant asks what she means exactly. She back peddles, says it's nothing, just a silly little thought she had and nothing more. Being the kind man that he was, he encourages her that whatever was on her mind wasn't silly and even if it was... there was no shame in that.

Lovette ends up sharing more than she thought she ever would about her child her. When she was a little girl, her mother wore a particular dress she adored. Her mother, Isette, told her it was an Ishgardian gown, made just for her. The gown was a deep emerald green with black accents and filigree embroidery. It was a gift from her beloved husband, Valencia, well before they were married.

Her mother promised that when she was older, she would pass on this dress to her. However, the village she born and raised in was attacked, her mother turned up missing, their home a wreck, and the dress ruined. Lovette wished to recreate that dress or at the very least find something close to it. She went out of her to become a seamstress to attempt to make that dress... though she admits she hasn't been very on top of that skill. Most she can do is basic garments and mending them all the same. Though she jokes perhaps black would suit her more, she would probably look odd in green...

Haurchefant listened intently, not once interrupting. He only spoke when Lovette finished her rambling with another jab at herself. "Ah but, as I said before... just a silly thought... it is just a garment, there are more things to be done and to be seen there than window shopping..."

He would hear no such talk of something that holds that much sentiment. So Haurchefant makes her a promise, in a rather embarrassing manner. He took her hand in his and got down on one knee as if proposing, nearly scared the daylights out her too. 'Cheeky man' she thought to herself. The promise he made was to bestow with the very dress she described, black if she truly desired it but... he feels she would look lovely in dark green. It would take some time, but he will see to it that the gown will be hers to do with as she pleases.

Looking back, Lovette regrets ever thinking he was just saying that to make her feel better. He was always a man of his word... for a time, the dress and that promise was nearly forgotten.

Well after his passing, and not too long after Emmanellain sends Lovette an urgent but vague missive from Camp Dragonhead. The letter mentioned something very important that Lovette must see and encourage she come without a crowd... though Labault was allowed if she insisted not to come alone, being that is her brother. Regardless of these curious demands, she arrives on the garrison doorstep, alone.

Inside, she was greeted only by Honoroit and Emmanellain. No one else seemed to be in this immediate room, whether it was at Emmanellain's behest or by this she'll never know. She didn't think to ask.

Lovette is told to sit sight, wait just a moment then she will understand why she's here. She does as she is told, Honoroit remained behind while his Lord scurried off to make idle chat with her. He tells her of recent events, how the garrison has been, and how Belladonna, Haurchefant's noble steed, had taken to Emmanellain. It was wonderful to hear... she was moments from sharing her own recent endeavors when a certain someone finally returned. There, folded over his arms, was a gown... he lays it out on the table where Lovette sat.

"It... was found in his chambers you see, old girl..." Without another word, he passes her a crumbled up piece of parchment.

She takes it in a trance, smoothing it down to read the oh so familiar handwriting that made her heart swell and ache all the same. It must have been a draft, some words were scratched out, there were a few ink blotches and water stain at the top corner. Never got to finalize it... or perhaps he felt there was no need to...

The only legible portion read as follows-

Dearest Lovette,

I swore to you that I bestow you with the dress of your dreams, akin to the one your mother wore. Truth be told, I had originally opted for the same shade of green as you described but... I was convinced otherwise by someone close to you. You do look rather fetching in black, I will admit, though I am more than certain any shade would suit you well. Regardless, your preference won over all.

I remember the look you gave me when I made that promise. Surely you must have thought me a touch foolish to do so in such a manner. Forgive me, I never do feel quite like myself around you, in only the best of ways I assure you. It only felt right at the time... so, is it to your liking? Is it just how you wanted? I do hope so.

Oh how I eagerly await the smile on your face when you see the dress! The smile you will have reading this... I can see it now. Surely it would be the same smile you gave me the night we met. You are smiling aren't you?

If I may make one selfish request, I would like to walk to the streets of Ishgard with you as you wear this garment. Until then...

It was scratched out but Lovette could vaguely make out he had originally wrote With all my Love and swapped it out with Sincerely, your Ser Knight Haurchefant

Lovette was a crying mess by the time she finished reading. How foolish of her to think he would not make due on his word. Even from beyond the grave, he kept his promise. "Thank you..." She wept. "Thank you so much Emmanellain..." She stands to pull him into a bone crushing hug, one he returns in kind. He admits that when he found it, he was nearly discouraged from giving it to her so soon. He almost listened too, thought maybe it was best to wait, until he found the letter as well... He knew that Lovette needed to see this as soon as possible in that moment.

Of course, she wore the dress. Why wouldn't she? She made sure to visit her dearest knight's memorial first and foremost. He may not have been able to give to her himself, he will never get to walk with her through streets as she wore this garment... but that was okay.

Even after all the turmoil, she is still here. She is still a good person. And she was smiling.