#probably wouldn't be c4

[mayapapaya33]

You know what would be hilarious; at some point down the line in C4, C5, C27, whenever, someone should play a character from Whitestone. But just a normal person from Whitestone. (Or as normal as an adventurer can ever be, they do have to have SOME kind of damage of course). Don't get me wrong, my haunted, gothic, Byronicly tragic PC's are my favorites of all time, but I just think finding out that a tanned, healthy, fresh looking 20 something with their shit together who has living parents and siblings who love them and who they have a good relationship with just so happens to have been born and raised in Whitestone would be very funny.

It's the future. Sylas and Delilah were driven from Whitestone 33+ years ago as of C3 so imagine a future campaign where one of the characters has only ever known the peaceful leadership of the council and Cassandra, Percy, and Vex, or even of Vesper if it's far enough into the future. The thing that led them to a life of adventure has to be COMPLETELY separate and irrelevant to them being from Whitestone.

Now Whitestone is definitely still a weird, haunted place to grow up even in a time of peace so they should be a little strange regardless. But it should be a different, much less traumatized flavor of weird, you get me? They should have extensive knowledge of vampires and necromancers and gun safety because that was mandatory training at school or whatever. They should feel at home in a haunted wood. Shit like that lol.

It would also be a very sweet and intimate long-term way of showing the impact of their success on the world, that Whitestone is just a (mildly haunted) place to live with ordinary people living ordinary lives and non-necromantic bad things can befall them, propelling them into a life of adventure. For instance, maybe a beloved sibling falls deathly ill (Of natural causes), and they make a deal for the power to save them, etc. That's separate AND has fun parallels to Whitestone history.

[leathfaic]

One of the things that pisses me off about MWIII and the lead up to it so bad is that whole "Oh I wasn't in the tank" thing around Graves.

Because it takes away from my success as a player and its just dumb.

But more importantly because Activision for some reason decided to play it like "Look at Soap being so dumb thinking he killed Graves, isn't he a ridiculous little man?" while Graves is given the "strong survivor" treatment by them.

Soap took out a tank.

Without dedicated gear.

He survived multiple assault teams while at it too. Not just survived, he took them out as well.

And then blew up a tank with nothing but some C4 to a point where no one in it could have survived.

Like he did that and you're telling me Graves wouldn't be fucking afraid of running into that guy again? If being in a tank can't save you from his wrath you're telling me he ever felt safe around him?

Nah. No way. We deserved to see him flinch the moment Soap enters the picture. To keep to the other side of the room. Trying his best to work with anyone but him.

Soap is unhinged and highly dangerous, or he would have waited for his chance to piss off instead of fighting that thing but he gets treated like instead of letting loose of his anger over the betrayal he was just a big dumb dumb and everyone else was in on the joke.

Like fuck man. That also means the player is seen in the same way, like you thought you just won a cool boss battle? Oh you stupid little player, that was for nothing and we're gonna take that feeling of success back. Games don't need to be gratifying, do they?

Actually that probably could be MW3s whole title.

[multifandomimagin3s]

The Reader gets hurt whilst saving them - 141, Los Vaqueros + Konig

Requested by Anon

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Simon's a complicated person, so it's hard to decipher what's going on inside his head - even people who've worked alongside him for years never truly know what he's thinking.

He never lets himself get emotional - well, any other emotions aside from anger are rarely shown.

Case and point - his initial reaction when he sees the blood seeping out of a bullet-wound in your side.

A bullet that was meant for him but you shoved him out of the way.

He stares at you for a millisecond, gaze unreadable, before he grapples you as you're about to fall to the floor.

"What the fuck did you do that for, you tit?!"

Charming, right?

He quickly realises that his angry screaming is falling on deaf ears, as you faded in and out of consciousness.

All he can do is stare as your face begins to pale from blood loss, relaying what had happened to Price over the comms.

He continues to stare at you as you're loaded onto the helicopter, strapped to a gurney with a Medic keeping constant pressure on your wound.

On the outside, he looks utterly livid - and he is.

Doesn't matter if he's your Superior, or vice versa - regardless of rank he'd have chewed you out for doing something so foolish and reckless all the same, even at the expense of a write-up.

But seeing you in the medical wing, bandaged up in a hospital bed, in critical condition, it makes a cocktail of emotions swirl in his stomach.

And he doesn't like it, not one bit.

Why save his life at the expense of your own? He doesn't understand that at all, and honestly he doesn't think he's worthy of it either.

He's by no definition an angel and has done things that would probably give Satan himself an aneurysm, so the fact that you put yourself in harms way like that just doesn't sit right with him at all.

The entire ordeal would probably keep him up til the early hours of the morning, thinking - he knew he harboured a certain amount of feelings for you, but he never realised just how much.

If it had been a new recruit or any other military personnel, he probably wouldn't have cared as much - unless it was someone from his own Team, in which case he probably still wouldn't be loosing sleep over "their own fucking stupidity."

It had been almost a week since the incident and he was still trying to wrap his head around it all.

But all he could do was visit you, waiting at your bedside for you to wake up - to an onslaught of questions and probably another barrage of swearing for being so "bloody stupid" and to "never pull that stupid shit again."

He can try and deny his feelings all he wants, but he knows the truth - he can lie to others but he can't lie to himself.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

He's a complete contrast to Ghost - where Ghost hides his feelings under layers and layers of denial and a gruff demeanour, Soap is an open book.

He's been openly flirting with you since the day you met, and was planning on making his move to ask you on a date as soon as you got back after the mission.

But seeing you with a ballistic knife sticking out of your shoulder, slumping back against a wall for support, really put a spanner in the works.

The enemy had spotted Soap crouched down planting some C4 and explosives, and had timed their throw to aim for his neck as he stood up - but they hadn't seen you.

You jumped in front of Johnny, shooting the enemy with quick precision but at a cost.

"Aw, for fuck sake!"

Luckily, the knife didn't pierce anything important, so with a good number of stitches and bandages you were good to go.

But an angry Scotsman stood at the door to the medical wing, eyebrows knitted together as he watched the Nurse put clean dressings on your wound.

"Don't ever dae that again," Johnny grunted, arms crossed across his chest. He didn't want to be too hard on you, given that Price had all but screamed at you the moment you were dragged onto the helicopter for being "a reckless fucking muppet."

Johnny didn't want anyone risking their life like that, for him - especially not you.

A smirk tugged at his lips, as his hand thumbed the bandages that wrapped down from your shoulder to just below your elbow," Cannae take you out if someone takes you out, can a?"

Captain John Price

To say that he's angry at you would be the understatement of the century.

Doesn't hide it either.

Even if you were already in a relationship at this point, he's going to be vocal about his anger - but the words he chooses may be slightly less abrasive.

"Why would you do something so stupid, you muppet?!"

The enemy had planted explosive devices as a booby trap - Soap had disarmed them all, or so he'd thought; the sneaky bastards had planted another a few feet away, which detonated and sent pieces of shrapnel flying in all directions.

Some of the shrapnel had embedded itself in your forearms and ribcage, when you'd jumped in front of your Captain to shield him.

Which led you to where you were now, with a Medic picking the pieces of metal out with tweezers - and an angry Price staring you down, arms crossed across his chest as he fixed you with a stern look.

He's been in the military for a long while and has seen a lot of stuff that would make the average person's hair curl - and he's lost a lot of people in the field that he cared about.

So for you to risk your life for his own -- he wasn't having it.

"Count yourself lucky that I won't be writing you up for this."

He has to keep up appearances - he's a high-ranking officer, and it no doubt would be frowned upon (to say the least) if it got out that he was fraternising with one of the soldiers in his team.

But in private, he's softer.

He thumbs over the bandages and dressings covering your wounds, brows knitting together in thought.

"Please don't do that again, Love - can't lose you."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Doesn't realise what's happened until he hears your body fall to the floor with a thud.

A sniper had set their sights on taking Gaz out, laser trained on his back - he hadn't noticed, distracted with trying to hack into the enemy base's security system.

The shot shattered the window pane behind him, which made him whirl around in his chair, gun drawn - putting the pieces together in his head, he should've been in your position in that moment, but you'd taken the bullet for him.

You'd taken the bullet for him.

it isn't until Price is practically roaring through the comms at the Sergeant that he comes to, hurriedly relaying the situation to Price as he checks your vitals.

You're alive - thank god.

The evac and the flight back to base was all a blur, as you faded in and out of consciousness.

You were lucky - the bullet hadn't punctured any vital organs, so with surgery and a few transfusions you were beginning to make a recovery.

Of course Price gave you a gutting out as soon as you were well enough - but in typical Dad fashion, he gave you a slightly awkward head pat and wished you a gruff "Get well soon, (Y/L/N) - be good to see you back on your feet again."

Gaz shows up to visit you, a bouquet of flowers in hand.

He's angry at you, so naturally he has a heated discussion with you about being reckless and to never risk your life like that again - especially since it was his own fault for not being more aware of his surroundings and for not watching his six.

But he's still soft for you.

"Thank you for saving my life, Love - but don't ever fucking do that again."

Alejandro Vargas

Oof.

Out of everyone in this list, his reaction is by far the most heated.

He's angry - more than angry, he's livid.

Doesn't matter if it was a cut from a knife whizzing past you, or something more serious - he's a big guy, he can take whatever life throws at him.

But for you to jump in and take the onslaught for him, injuring yourself in the process? He's pissed.

He probably would avoid you for a while, not wanting to risk exploding into a fit of rage when he sees your injuries.

It would be Rudy who would be the voice of reason, pushing him to go and speak to you instead of stewing over his anger and guilt - guilt of not being able to stop what happened from happening.

Alej would visit you in the infirmary - he'd go into a rant, letting all of his emotions out.

And then would pull you into a kiss.

He's a passionate man and feels his feelings very deeply.

Rudy Parra

Like Alejandro, he's absolutely pissed.

Only difference between him and his comrade is how he shows it.

He's silent - so silent it's borderline scary.

He's livid - one, because you risked your life for him, and two, he's angry that you were so blasé about it.

It was as if you truly valued his life more than your own, and the thought of that alone only serves to make him angrier.

He hovers around in the medical bay while a Medic stitches your wounds closed, his arms crossed across his chest with a stoic expression.

The tension is palpable, and it's as if you can feel his blood boiling even from a distance.

It isn't until the Medic has patched you up and lets you leave that he finally speaks.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Querida / Querido?!"

Proceeds to chew you out for the entire walk back to your room - it was strange to see Rudy so heated, especially towards you, given that he was usually relatively easy going.

But then again, he got the rank of Sergeant Major for a reason.

Once he has his rant out of his system, he sighs, eyeing the bandages covering the expanse of your arm.

You were lucky to have made it back to base in one piece, after the enemy had lunged at Rudy from behind with a hunting knife - you'd jumped in the way, managing to take down the target but not without a fair amount of wounds.

Rudy gently grasped your forearm, thumbing over the soft bandages in thought.

"Please don't do that again, mi amor."

König

This guy would probably disappear for a bit when he realises what happened.

Probably to figure out his own feelings before he sees you again.

Because he's feeling a lot of emotions - anger, being one, guilt is another.

He's not used to anyone putting their own safety at risk for his sake - KorTac had hardly the healthiest of working environments, and mercenaries will typically only watch out for their own backs at the end of the day.

So the fact that you'd put yourself in harms way to keep him safe really doesn't sit right with him at all.

He feels guilty because he let it happen - he was so engrossed with plowing through all the targets he could see that he completely missed the ones that he couldn't.

But you noticed, jumping in the way - taking bullets that were meant for him.

He doesn't remember much of the mission after that - he can blame it on adrenaline and whatever other hormones were pumping through his system at the time, but he knows the real reason why.

The sight of you coughing up blood because of a bullet to the chest made the world slow down for him, his worst nightmare playing out in front of his eyes.

Lingers around the medical bay as Medics and Doctors rush around you, medical jargon flying in the air as you're hooked up to various machines.

His frequent visits don't help quell the rumours swirling around the base - that König, the not-so-gentle giant, had a thing for you - but he couldn't find it in him to care, even if his Superiors were to give him a stern lecture about it.

He makes sure he's there when you wake up - he had a lecture prepared in his head, about how what you did was reckless and stupid, and you shouldn't have risked your life for his.

But the words die on his tongue when he makes eye contact with you, and all he can do is take your hand in his - without his gloves, he was even tempted to take off his hood.

"Don't scare me like that again - ich werde dich nicht zulassen, mein Lieber."

[halfgirl-halfdolll]

MDNI. Soap is nasty; madly in love with you and with whatever gets you going. Inspired by @notquitecanon 's fanfic.

It wasn't like it had been on purpose.

Soap had only seen you leave your office with your cheeks flushed and breathing heavily, hurriedly walking towards the bathroom.

You looked so pretty when you looked disheveled.

He just wanted to know what had happened. If you were okay. Were you ill? Feverish? Horny?

It was only natural that he would make his merry way inside your office. Concerned colleague and all that. Right?

Soap had plenty of qualities. Smart, handsome, strong, tall, funny. He could say his god had blessed him with plenty and more. One little extra that made good use in the battlefield, however, was his nose - trained on gunpowder and blood and C4 solvents.

And when he entered your office, his nose tickled, but due to a very different reason.

Cum.

He groaned, hands rubbing down on his face as his eyes rolled back. He could already feel his cock chubbing up inside his pants at the mere though of you getting wet all on your own inside your office – so, oh so close to him. If only he knew you were needing to get some edge off, bonnie, he would kneel in front of you and beg you to let him help, however you wanted.

But alas.

Soap trudged slowly towards your desk – your open notebook taunting him with its dim, flashing light. He knew very well what would be playing in your browser, and he readied his phone to take a picture of the link. He knew you wouldn't take that much longer in the bathroom, but he needed to know what made you tick; which tags you chose.

He tried so hard keep himself from sniffing and licking your chair like some mutt in heat, but he could see the faint glimmer of your wetness on your seat and who was he to waste a meal when it was right in front of him? And you were better than honey.

His eyes barely processed the page, snapping a photo of the tab and quickly making his way out of your office unnoticed (and painfully hard).

Soap hurried to his quarters, locking himself inside his room and kicking his boots and clothes off in lightning speed. His heart thumped loudly and fast inside his ribcage; a shot of adrenaline in his veins he didn't even feel during missions. His cheeks were flushed, mirroring yours when you ran away from your own mess, and he felt like a teenager with a crush all over again.

A bit pathetic, truthfully, but it also made him feel alive; he remembered what was like to be human, to be a man, to be smitten - to have other feelings beside anger, fear and anxiety. Your little escapade made him feel like himself again.

Yes. Maybe he could excuse himself from invading your privacy if he kept on thinking about it.

But it wasn't time. His cock was hard and his curiosity was killing him.

Soap scanned the link on his photo and opened a tab on his phone, eagerly putting in his headphones and grabbing an old (and expired) bottle of lube as he waited for the page to load.

Once the page was fully loaded, however, Soap could only blink as his brain slowly processed the image in front of him.

He inhaled shakily, thumb pressing play while he finally made sense of the setting in front of him.

A bulky, hairy man (he noted with plenty of satisfaction) sat on a chair, cargo pants open and drenched in lube and cum and sweat, almost turning to a different color entirely. His cock slapped against his stomach with every twitch of his body.

The man was tied up on the chair with flimsy pink ribbons he could probably rip off with ease, if he truly wanted to. On his stomach, five full comdoms were tied to one of the loops of the ribbon. His cock was painfully red and leaking and he moaned like a fucking cumbrained slut and Johnny could swear he was genuinely about to burst.

So this was the type of thing that got you going, huh?, he thought, eyes wide and mouth agape - almost drooling.

The woman on the screen barely appeared – the focus was the man and the sugar pain of the torture she was inflicting upon him. Her long, black nails contrasting against the pink of the man's dick, as she languidly kept stroking his cock - the amount of lube she was using on his dick making obscene, wet noises that, alone, could make Johnny go insane.

If it wasn't for her voice.

Johnny could clearly picture your pretty lips uttering the same words as he closed his eyes; his own hands following the same pace she had set. In his mind, he could imagine you torturing him like that – his sweet little bird being so cruel as she milked him dry with her pretty hands and soft voice.

"Come on, baby. Won't you cum for me one more time?"

As many times as you want. Until he dehydrated, bonnie. He could die like that for you if you want.

"Just one more. You know my favorite number is six, hm? Give me just one more."

He would give you thirty six if you asked. Do you want it? He could put it all in a box and place it on your office's desk.

"You sound so cute, baby. Come on. Give me one more."

Fuck fuck fuck. Johnny fucked his fist, hips stuttering against his hand as his phone plopped on the bed. Only the sound of your her voice and her hands pumping the man's length guiding him to his orgasm.

He felt his balls tightening and his cock twitching in his hand and he knew he was getting close. Fuck, so that's what you liked, huh? Him being a whore for you, moaning loudly as you did whatever you wanted with his body, huh? He could do that, bonnie. He had been fucked before, just ask his friends. He had never been fucked, however, by a pretty little thing like you.

Do you wanna use a strap? Or do you wanna use just your fingers first? Or maybe you just wanna tie him down and milk him dry. He's okay with anything, lass. All he asks is to let him eat you out once you're done. As a reward, right? He'd deserve a good reward for all his little deaths.

"That's it, let it go, baby" you the actress whispered and Johnny thrusted into his hand one last time, thick ropes of cum shooting up as his balls tightened. The hairs on his chest got covered with his spent, his peak coming onto him with way more force than he thought it would. It left him floaty, lightheaded – drunk.

"Good boy, that's my baby. That's my good boy. So good to me."

Johnny moaned loudly at those words, licking the salty pearl of his own cum that landed on his lips and his beard. Yes, bonnie. He can be your good boy. He can even be your lap dog. He can wear a collar and all and brand your name into his skin. Anything, anything, if it's for you.

After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and he blinked away the tears he didn't even know he had shed. Coming down from his high, Soap groaned at the mess he had made. He was covered in his thick load and by a thin layer of sweat.

He pouted, fully absorbed into his role of your dainty sub who desperately needs aftercare. Where were you to take care of him when he needed you so? He thought, as he grabbed wet wipes and began cleaning himself before making his way to the common bathroom. The irony of him mirroring your own steps wasn't lost on him.

That's okay. His precious new discovery was just the beginning.

And now, onto trying to convince you to fulfill your little femdom fantasies with him.

[brucewaynehater101]

Imperial delegation dedicated to taking care of their emperor and his consorts while they're on earth love pie. Each member of the delegation has different opinions regarding various types of pie but the consensus is generally positive. One of the reasons each member of the delegation was chosen was because of their ability to digest earth based food and handle earth's atmosphere. Only one of them needs to have a regular supply of supplements for trace elements that earth isn't able to provide naturally. The imperial chef has joined the baking beef between Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth as a new opponent for both bakers. The imperial chef secretly believes that if they can outbake or outcook both Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth then their emperor and his consorts will have to come home to the empire so they can keep getting the best food!

The caretaker of the imperial wardrobe is very huffy about every single uniform/costumes of the JL except Dick's discowing costume and Signal's whole look. They find Wonder Woman's outfit tolerable but think it needs feathers. They have strong opinions about popped collars and rhinestones. They've also brought a fabric with them that is impervious to the highest caliber bullets on earth but maintains the general feel and movement of the finest silk. It doesn't do much against the physical impact of the bullet but basically bullets cannot penetrate the fabric at all. The fabric can also only be cut or punctured by scissors that have been treated with a special chemical and needles treated with the same chemical and have to have the process reapplied regularly or it won't work, which means that regular knives, swords, and other cutting or puncturing implements are not getting through this silk. It's also capable of temperature regulation at extreme temperatures and comes only in hot pink, neon green, and sky blue.

Arthur is a sovereign of a singular nation, not an empire which contains numerous nations, and would probably think about the imperial delegation about as much as he would a delegate from the UN, not very much unless they mess with the oceans and if they do then he's messing them up.

Diana is a princess, not the actual ruler, but also in some versions a diplomat with the UN. She'd probably get assigned to try to figure out who is part of the imperial family and what is the political situation in the empire, should earth support this family to reclaim power? but if she's not attached to the UN then she'd probably just want to learn about the empire because one of her big things about leaving Themyscira is to learn about the "world of man".

I would like to think that Tim has figured out some sort of way to block or discourage J'onn from getting into his head and shared those methods with the C4 but if not then J'onn is generally polite enough not to dig into peoples' minds for no reason or casually. He would have no real reason to suspect Tim or the C4. As to Mars relationship with the empire, they're probably not going to be asking to join anytime soon.

Starfire and Tamaran are in another area far away from the empire and she's got a lot of political mess to deal with but possibly Starfire might be tempted to petition Tamaran join the empire but it's unlikely since she probably couldn't and wouldn't get the majority of her people to agree to such a thing. At most they'd probably be trade partners at some point when it becomes acceptable for both sides.

Thank you for including the perspective of Arthur, Diana, J'onn, and Starfire. I was curious about their respective thoughts or viewpoints on an alien empire given their own experiences (not necessarily ruling, but being a part of a non-human government/nation/whatever, dealing with Earth/human policies, and all that).

As for Starfire specifically, that makes perfect sense. This AU hasn't gone into the specifics on why these planets ask Tim to rule them, but it would make sense that Tamaran doesn't meet that desperation/requirements for it. They may or may not establish trade. I'm not too sure on all of the history/lore of that planet, but we can assume they are perfectly content with their own systems in this AU. At most, some advisors may meet up with one of Tim's advisors to discuss the differences in their systems for improvement sake (like maybe Tamaran does better at managing their past history/consequences of previous actions while Tim's planets are testing out modern supply technology for efficiency).

I've mentioned it before, but didn't quite tie the concept that the protection delegation would need to be able to handle Earth's atmosphere. In that same breath, I wonder if there's planets Tim can't visit (or can't visit long term) due to his human biology not vibing with their enviornment/atmosphere. That planet would probably be very sad :(

I want the imperial wardrobe person to just subtly roast or wrinkle their nose at other hero costumes. They are obviously chill with Signal and Nightwing (specifically discowing), but the others get a look of disdain. In all honesty, they really really care about Tim and his loved ones. They want Tim and the others to appear as their best selves and not be ridiculed by others. It's from a place of care that they roll their eyes at most hero costumes.

The fabric is super cool as well! Maybe another stipulation (besides the time required to make clothes out of it being high due to everything needed to be made by hand) is that the material is tedious to acquire.

[mcsm-confessions]

How I think some characters would handle their spice:

M!Jesse - smiles in spite of the burning, blistering pain in his mouth. he doesn't notice the tears falling from his eyes (either from the spice, or him getting emotional while he's blabbering about his life or something)

F!Jesse - eats this stuff for breakfast. practically grew up with spicy food.

Axel - *adds more hot sauce* he loves this stuff. spice is life.

Olivia - fanning herself as she thinks she's dying.

Lukas - white boy actually handles it pretty well. the challenges he's done with the Ocelots helped build his tolerance. though he wouldn't ask for it.

Petra - puffy, red, watering eyes and sniffling. three glasses of milk gone. half-eaten food. she realizes she prefers to fight monsters and not her food. absolute failure.

Gabriel - steam literally comes out of his ears. "I'm fine" he says, before chugging an entire glass in seconds.

Ellegaard - starts rapidly speaking Danish as the heat rushes to her brain.

Magnus - "Is it hot in here or what?" pretends he's unfazed, and starts slicking back hair that's not there. call him C4 because he's choking, coughing, clearing his throat and crying.

Soren - probably forgot how overworld food tastes. gets total whiplash as his mouth turns into a furnace.

Ivor - Idris Elba in Hot Ones. potions won't help you here, buddy.

~~~

[circyexistforcontent]

My team is just all of my mains; Kazuha, Alhaitham, Shenhe, Zhongli. They’re all spoiled and have 5 star weapons, Zhongli is extra spoiled and is c4. (Kazuha has Ayato’s signature, Alhaitham has his signature, Shenhe has Calamity Queller, Zhongli has Staff of Homa)

Hope that’s enough! <3

TEAM COMP: KAZUHA, ALHAITHAM, SHENHE, ZHONGLI

♥ Your team is proud to be your main and is thankful that you work so hard for them to be this strong. All four of them work tirelessly to become stronger and hit numbers that are sure to impress you. But with that being said there is an unsaid competition going around your group. With them being so spoiled, they should've been satisfied. Sadly, most of them are greedy for your attention.

♥ Al-Haitham is one of the characters who want your attention. It's nothing too much, he prefers to just be in your presence and read a book with you. No words need to be said between the two of you. Sadly, with the screen between both of your worlds, some things cannot happen. So he'll stick to you listening to his voice lines. He's indifferent to his teammates, he doesn't talk to them much but he's willing to lend them a hand if needed. But since they are stacked and all of them are skilled fighters, he doesn't see the need to assist them.

♥ Shenhe is just as, if not, more uncaring of her teammates than Al-Haitham. In her head, they are only tools for you to use to progress more in the game that is their world, there is no need to make connections with them. She is a good team player though, but it's only for your sake, not theirs. If something happened to them off-screen she wouldn't help them. She's probably the most violent out of all four of them, her red strings have gotten a little lost ever since she got self-aware, so the moment one of her teammates does something she thinks is going to inconvenience you she will point the Calamity Queller on their neck.

♥ Zhongli is the pillar of the team and is probably the most envied team member out of all four. Knowing he came home to you 5 times can bring a tinge of jealousy to any character's heart. It brings him so much joy that you work so hard on all of them....especially him. You can't blame him for being a little bit smug, you paid so much attention to him and it gets on his head for a bit. But he's professional, so he doesn't actively point out to his team that he's probably the favorite. Though it doesn't need to be pointed out since everyone can tell.

♥ Kazuha is very well aware of how dysfunctional his team is, the wind told him itself. But he doesn't focus on them, he focuses on the fact that you chose him of all the other Anemo users to be your main. It pulls on his heartstrings, and he becomes more enamored by you. But...he does question why you decided to main the others as well. The wind knows a lot of things, and he is lucky enough to be able to understand them. It tells him to be cautious of the Wangsheng funeral worker, to be alert when around the Adepti's disciple, and keep his distance when around Sumeru's acting grand sage. While he is willing to work along side them, he doesn't trust them. Not one bit.

♥ Your team works relatively well together since most understand that it is necessary if they want to remain as your main team. But you can't deny the thick tension that is around them. Nobody trusts one another and always has their guard up. But this is one of the better teams, at least they aren't actively trying to murder each other. Zhongli mentors the team from time to time and it interests Al-Haitham to ask for his advice. Kazuha teaches Shenhe about basic human emotions since her own seem to be everywhere. She wants to manage her own emotions so that one day if she does meet you she will not scare you away.

♥ But the moment one of them crosses an invisible line, somebody is going to get stabbed in the jugular.

[utilitycaster]

I basically agree with what you've said wrt C3/Predathos, but I've had a theory for a while (since at least the initial decription of magic being weird during the solstice) that Predathos getting released would be the in-game Watsonian explaination for switching to, say, Daggerheart as the system of choice for C4. Which wouldn't make BH choices any more narratively satisfying, mind, but at least then I'd understand the impetus behind the choice, you know? (Granted, I also thought this would be a Suicide Squad campaign so what do I know. This theory is probably completely bunk.)

I also suspect some of the "release Predathos" sentiment is just, like, curiosity about what Predathos is. Which in an above the table way I can definitely see. There's been such a build up to Predathos, I definitely get the urge to press that button, even if I think it's absolutely an objectively terrible choice for the characters.

This is not an uncommon theory but must admit I think it's one that lacks any justification, slash, if it does end up being the reason I think that would be an extremely stupid creative decision.

The specific idea that this campaign is here to set up a new system/leave D&D has been around for, honestly, years, but there's no actual reason to set up the switch diagetically and in fact if you force a particular ending for that, I think that's a horrible narrative decision. I don't actually think diagetic/watsonian reasons for a real-world switch are necessarily better than just being like "so we switched systems because we wanted to" and I think it's particularly unwise in an improvised form; it would be a pretty massive squandering of goodwill because part of why I'm drawn to Actual Play is that it's usually not subject to The Suits At The Network. Additionally, Daggerheart as a system was only recently finalized, has the concept of gods/divine casters within it, and the Campaign Frame system makes it highly customizable by setting. They would have had to be aiming for a moving target that does not actually require killing the gods.

Additionally, I think Critical Role's origins as a game among friends, rather than something that was a little more calculated as public-facing, is often a strength but at times, and especially at points during this campaign, a weakness. However, I think that is a good argument against the idea of "hey, can you guys do this specific thing so that we can sell Daggerheart?" There's just...no reason to do this. Honestly, I suspect they've lost some fans during C3 who would have watched a totally new system and setting after C2, when faith was high, and are now like eh I've moved on. This is all a really long way to say "I'm not saying this won't happen but it will be stupid if it does."

I also must admit I cannot relate; I love a big red button but like. I am very task oriented in TTRPGs (and, I am finding, RPGs generally). I'm curious, but like, if I am in Curse of Strahd I'm gonna fucking kill Strahd. I think perhaps the game should have offered more opportunities to discover more about Predathos, or perhaps the characters should have done more with the opportunities they had.

[little-mouse-adventures]

1,2, 10 and 32 for Butler (and 2 for Tim, if that’s not too many?) Hope you’re having a good day, Mouse!

1. Canon I outright reject

Okay this is incredibly small and pedantic but: a jetpack? Really? No. I refuse. Sure, maybe after jumping off a balcony in Book 4 and getting Artemis to make him one with a mis-mash of fairy parts, but just... no. he does not usually wear a jetpack under his jacket.

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Headcanon time! He blushes if given flowers. Full on, bright red, all the way to the tips of his ears. He can walk into a room to discover a surprise orgy involving all sorts of toys and whip cream and such things and be mildly uncomfortable and look at the ceiling as he very politely and quietly leaves, but if someone gives him a bouquet of flowers his composure goes out the window. Even if Juliet, as a small child, gave him a handful of dandelions, he'd be pink around the cheeks for hours.

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

The troll fight in Book 1. Don't get me wrong, he has a lot of good moments throughout the series! But the troll fight wins for me, every time. The dedication to protect his sister? The drama of strapping on armor, and then still using his gun? Taking out a beast that killed him with his bare hands? Being the only human to ever win against a troll? Top-tier moment right there.

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

An explosion (provided it's not targeted at him or those he is trying to protect). Everything from grenades to C4 to rocket launchers. If he can make something go Boom! he's happy.

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on (Tim)

His affection for his family! Yes, yes, he wouldn't wrestle in the covers with Artemis as a child, but he'd read him bedtime stories! He'd walk the grounds with him! He'd sit for hours with his wife feeding pigeons, and holding her hand! Tim loves his family deeply and yes I absolutely will die on that hill. He may have been a strict father to Artemis, but he was a father to him. He loves his wife and son and wants to do the best for him, and yes, he's probably made some mistakes doing so, but he's human. And absolutely devoted to his wife and children.

[mistresslrigtar]

Challenge List - completed

Letters are rows, numbers are columns, reading left to right

A1 - Recommended by a friend - The Golden Chain by @zeldadiarist - I've seen the concept art and this looks and sounds like something I would really like!

A3 - Caught up on a work - Uneasy Lies the Chosen of Farore by @drsteggy This is one of my current favorites and I look forward to the updates! It features a middle-aged Link and Zelda who are just now having to take on their roles as the Hero and Princess.

A4 - An incomplete project - Void's Grasp by @the--voided Great beginning that puts you right into the middle of a frantic race to escape. I haven't been able to read further, but I look forward to seeing where this story goes

A5 - I made an Original Legends work! - Captain Link Araki and the Harbinger of Destiny by me @mistresslrigtar - join a sassy Zelda with agency and a down-on-his-luck pirate, Link on a swashbuckling romp across the Great Sea.

B1 - Updated this year - Cycle of the Stars by @daeyumi - Gorgeous artwork accompanies this story

B4 - A comic - Divine Gemstones by @twist-dg New and unique designs and characterizations for Link and Zelda. Looking forward to this comic

B5 - Subscribed to an ongoing work - On My Honor by @pelicanpig - Features a teenaged Link who takes on the role of older brother/protector for Zelda. She's discovering her power and he struggles with his calling. Each chapter ratchets up the angst.

C1 - A familiar creator - A Link to the Stars by @abbyzwrites with art by the phenomenal @coffebits Set far in the future of Legend of Zelda lore. Link is a general in the Hyrulean Army, Ganondorf is his best friend and second in command, and Zelda is a brunette princess. Think Star Wars meets Starship Troopers but starring our favorite LoZ characters. The latest chapter has some tooth-achingly sweet fluff mixed in with the angst. Love Coffeebits character designs and Abby’s writing.

C3 - Show Us Your EH TBR

Break the Wheel by @randombutloved, Guarding Zelda by @railtracer30, All That Hurts by @karama9, Too Old to Keep by @ladyhoneydee

C4 - By a mutual or someone I'd like to be a mutual - In the Blood by @zeldaseyebrows Zombies? In Hyrule? One I’m saving to read for Halloween!

D1 - A new favorite - Hero by @karama9 This is one I probably wouldn't have read, but I'm glad I did! It's set in a dystopian Hyrule, with fresh and unusual characterizations for Link and Zelda, that I loved. Link is so timid, he's afraid of his own shadow and Zelda is just a girl who has to push him into accepting his role. They work together as a team to save Hyrule from Ganon. I highly recommend it. I will warn there is one chapter that features graphic material that may be disturbing to some. (but having read this story fully, as a reader it can be easily skipped.)

D4 - A genre I love - The Promise by @zeldaelmo Bridgerton meets LoZ in this one. Regency characterizations of Link and Zelda that I adore. Link is as awkward and sweet as we expect him to be, and Zelda is as witty and intelligent as always. Zelmo just posted a deliciously spicy NSFW chapter for those of us who like that sort of thing 😅😂

D5 - Picked because of the title - Princess Link: Engaged to my sister's kidnapper??? by @sparkspsps I can't wait to dive into this one. A role swap and from the title and summary it sounds funny and something I'd really like.

E1 - A complete project - Goddess of Secrecy by @amelias-hart I've really enjoyed following Link and his main companion, Endeavor on their journey across Hyrule. It's a co-op story, and Link receives plenty of help along the way so he doesn't have to face anything alone. Vast worldbuilding and lots of new and quirky characters really bring this story to life.

E4 - Less than 1000 hits or 100 notes - The Princess's Heart by @nocturnalfandomartist I followed along with this story Noct wrote for Zelink Week last year. Each chapter opens with a portion of a fairytale that is passed from generation to generation - then jumps into the narrative that follows Link and Zelda on their latest adventure.

E5 - Left a review in EH's Story Spotlights - The Mage's Lantern by @nocturnalfandomartist - another by Noct that I've only just begun reading, but am enjoying so far! Hyrule is buried beneath snow caused by a storm called The Silver Tempest (cool name). Beautiful art accompanies each chapter.

[meimeimeirin]

I have more but this is the only one i managed to download atm i am gonna send the rest later lmao (the quest was so fun with lil akitsu suddenly playable my heart melted at this little saurian)

Sorry thats not all of it (thought i copied it all, weird) but your hubby being freaking Apollo- 🫣

Any thoughts on pulling for anyone? Have you given into temptation for your pulls considering your hubby? (Why do i have memories of you telling me that- sry if this is repeated i have a lizard brain)

i wouldn't be surprised this man is an onion and is hoyo's favorite male character, i do think there's a lot more to him that we'll eventually discover at the end game.... all the wild theories omg hsdfhshdhf

i did pull for zhongli and got him to c4. will probably c6 him on his next rerun ー as of now i just don't see any interesting characters that i might want to pull. also wtf ifa is 4 stars?? orz...... still no male 5 stars in sight, huh.... ☠️

[pyromaniacbibliophile]

Tempus Est

Just posted first chapter of my new fanfic Tempus Est! (Ao3)

Summary:

War changes adults, changes people, changes futures. Magic changes people too.

Leaves green-eyed boys where they aren't wanted

Makes the youngest boy constantly forgotten

Gets clever girls bullied

Mocks wild-eyed seers who have seen death too young

Forces 'precious' daughters into feminine moulds

Abuses heirs who don't show magic obviously.

And when those boys find a pack

When those boys make themselves remembered

When those girls harden like diamond and decide to show them all

When those girls use their visions like a cloak and call ravens from branches

When those girls crack their moulds and fight back

When those boys channel their magic into carniverous and poisonous plants

Then…

(First chapter below the cut)

HP (freak)

are you mad

freak

you don't belong

go and talk to the trees

go and howl at the stars, wolf-boy

wild boy

we don't want you here

sleep outside boy

we don't want a freak in our house

sleep with the wild animals for all we care

join a pack, freak-boy

only no-one wants you, do they?

If they don't want me so be it/they can bleed

____________________

RW (forgotten)

what's the matter afraid of spiders

they were only playing, percy

my name's not percy

then run along bill

i don't care what you do, brother, play chess for all i care

rook d2. you lose, red-head

knight c4. you lose, carrot

queen d7, you lose, brother

tough luck. i must get back to my work, fred

i'm not fred

pawn f8. i win

bishop c1, i win

queen a6, i win

only they still don't know my name

I'll make them remember my name

____________

HG (swot)

why don't you read a book, nerd

teacher's pet

swot

bushy hair

miss you can't keep doing this

let others have their turn

why when i know better

detention

that's nice sweetie

it's been four hours they didn't even notice

locked in the library overnight? 

mum dad i'm home i'm sorry i worried you

what was that darling?

have you been somewhere

if your books are so good why don't you marry them

I'll show them what books can do

_____________

LL (loony)

loony

freak

have you seen her eyes

spaced out

high

i heard her father was a -

i heard her mother is a -

do you want to be friends?

no thanks crazy

why would anyone be friends with you

go and find some birds in the forest maybe they'll like you

hello

i was told birds might like me

they were probably wrong 

no-one likes me

kra-ka-caw?

oh! hello

mummy?

no, sweetheart

no mummy now

hello ravens

my mummy died you know

you did say so i know

but i didn't want to believe you

I'll listen to you now (and maybe they'll be sorry they mocked us)

________________

GW (darling)

oh darling

of course you can't play with the boys

you're a girl

girls learn to sew

and cook

and take care of the family

your brothers are not you

you're the only girl, sweetheart

you have to be good

oh of course, madam

wouldn't want to offend perfect princessie

by bringing mud everywhere

of course, our neat little sis

darling why is there a knife in here

why are you bleeding

oh darling. 

the pain made things sharper

stopped me crying

she doesn't say

i slipped mummy

i was trying to cook

in your room?

oh darling

darling quidditch is for boys

but the harpies

are uncouth scarlet women who never had an education

you are my precious little girl

you won't be like them

if you want to play quidditch so much sis

just sneak out at night

oh but mummy's darling princess would never

wouldn't she?

I will. And then they won't call me darling again 

_____________

NL (squib)

what are you?

a disappointment gran

yes you are

you should have been more like my frank

it's your fault he's like that

and you can't even honour his memory 

by being a decent wizard

spending all your time in those greenhouses

good for nothing

what can plants do

other than kill you a thousand ways then heal you a thousand ways

he doesn't say

nothing gran

nothing. just like you. nothing

your father would be so disappointed

he was a great wizard fought bravely

you are not even a wizard

can you even do magic

just a squib aug

better to throw him out a window

if he's a wizard he'll be fine

oh so you are a wizard after all

still pathetic

your father was great

i doubt you'll get a hogwarts letter

may as well start learning muggle stuff, eh algie

ha

stick with your plants squib 

Oh I will. (Then you'll learn what plants can do)

_________________________

[neostriatum]

Shadows of a Nightingale

[Dreamwidth]

-

It was meant to be a normal, vaguely boring trading mission for resupplying things like flour and finding out more about Ancient technology littered around their new home. He thought by now they'd have learned that "peacefully rural" in the Pegasus galaxy actually meant "Genii involvement, back away slowly and with lots of C4," but apparently not.

-

Elizabeth frowned at him worriedly, an arm's reach away as Radim and the random soldier he had scrounged up did their best Cinderella impression to turn him into a villain. They're going to turn me into Swiss cheese, he thought unhappily, Why am I doing this, again?

"And you can be sure they won't recognize him?" Elizabeth asked Radim, "A uniform is enough?"

For a brief, deeply visceral moment, he debates bricking the Genii gate with a computer virus. Only temporary, of course - a time-out, if one would borrow an oversimplified phrase. But he looked at Elizabeth, and how she was crossing her arms to prevent herself from reaching out, and reminds himself that if they could take the simple route, then his team would have already made their way home with scientists in tow. He glances at the Genii soldiers arrayed around them that had Radim's personal reassurance wouldn't shoot him in the back as soon as he stepped through the gate, and the Atlantis soldiers keeping a closer eye on Elizabeth than himself. Sighing, he reminded himself that they had already deployed a team of their own behind Radim's back with some requisitioned Genii uniforms at a midway planet to buffer Atlantis from unexpected guests. There wouldn't be a signal, of course, not this deeply entrenched in unambiguously enemy territory, but if they missed check-in, that would suffice for communication. Someone handed him a pistol, and he ignored Elizabeth's instinctive swerve away from it, checking the weapon and slotting it into the holster at his hip with a motion that was only smooth from the amount of practice he had. Radim looked impressed, and he graciously refrained from making a face at the man. It wasn't Kolya, but he would take this shove-in of a political upstart over someone who had no such qualms about being decent.

"Elizabeth," He said, frowning at her, "It'll be fine." "Don't go sounding like John, now," Elizabeth chided, falling back on humor, knocked back on her pedestal by his irreverence, "I still want those reports in from your people." "As soon as I fire them," He muttered, wishing he hadn't lent them to Sheppard for protection. The colonel was great at what he did, but his survival instinct left something to be desired. And around other people who had barely stepped through a gate before in their lives? He should have anticipated the amount of trouble that would happen, "They're going to wish they had quit." "Well, go easy on them," She said, smiling. At the pointed non-shuffling from the Atlantis soldiers, she shrugged, "Well. Not too easy."

He nodded curtly at her, knowing Elizabeth would take the opportunity to prevent the inevitable if he played along. Striding toward the DHD, he found himself wishing he could appear in the off-world uniform he had become accustomed to, missing the reassuring weight of a P-90 in his hands. Hell, even an epi-pen would have been security enough, but they couldn't afford him being frisked and anyone finding a conspicuous reason to follow through on their hostage threats. I hate politics, he thought, hoping it was loud enough for everyone to pick up on.

-

His team made a move to call for his attention when they notice McKay’s presence in the half-second it takes them to recognize that the Genii they were hissing at was their team mate in a Genii uniform. It's so at odds with how he's usually dressed that they're taken aback, McKay’s military-straight posture and casual, dismissive glance at them shuttering any words they could think to say.

The scientists were elsewhere, probably being put to work, and John's stomach sours when he realizes McKay's making no move to try and free them. It compounds, a dense knot of foreboding in his stomach, when McKay merely sits at the table parked in front of their cells in a relaxed lean that pings something unpleasant in his brain. It's been three days, and if they had received any hails from Atlantis, they would never have known, their gear stripped from them with an efficiency that boded poorly as they were marched underground.

Intellectually, he knew it was a negotiation. He remembered his father's parties, the way gossip over canapés arranged business deals in the millions, how smoothly he understood officer's parties and briefings moving along the same dance and tune. Being the commodity traded, however, looking from the outside in… it gave him a better insight into the scowls and glares whenever he came back home from deployments. There was nobody to look at other than Rodney and their hosts, and it felt almost like a one-way mirror, all attention fixed on the main attraction.

Someone - a lackey, given their nondescript appearance and economic motions - set a tray of drinks and plates of food down between their captor and McKay. Ordinarily this would be cause to carefully inspect all offerings of food, but somehow today the stars were misaligned and McKay merely knocked back what must have been alcohol and swiped a piece of finger food from the plate in front of him without batting an eye. It made his stomach cramp in dread, stealing his breath as he waited for some sign of allergy on McKay's face.

Several moments passed without incident, and whatever gamble it was seemed to pass muster, McKay merely raising an expectant eyebrow at their captors. It was so clearly a well, get on with it expression, devoid only of the wave of hand that usually accompanied it when McKay was in the labs, that he wanted to slump against the poorly-maintained brick wall in relief. No matter what strange shit was going on right now, it was still McKay in front of them. How much of McKay was there, he wasn't sure, but he would take his opportunities where he could get them.

He didn't think Teyla or Ronon had any idea what was actually going on, either, but McKay had somehow found a usable poker face that had their captor sighing and taking a seat across from him. The sight kept his heart in his throat, though, all careful capitulation highlighted by the weary way their captor sat down in his chair, as if he had a long day. It almost made him want to laugh in derision, but McKay's unimpressed face was an immutable veneer that set the tone for… whatever this conversation was going to be.

McKay speaking first was expected, but the opposite occurred, the man merely laid in his chair as if it were another Tuesday at the bar while their captor leaned forward and braced his arms against the edge of the table. "I was told there would be a higher ranked individual coming here, mister…?" The bait was obvious, as was the play at polite bemusement. It was something McKay might fall for, if he let himself, but he only stared impassively for a beat before reaching for the corked pitcher of liquor. Its cap came off with a quiet squeak of a pop from its ceramic trapping, and instead of pouring another round for himself, McKay merely stared at the man across from him before topping off the other's untouched cup. He had left the bottle uncorked, and the contents were strong enough that he could begin to smells the fumes from where he was sitting.

It certainly set a tone, and the placid facade on McKay's face came across as foreboding. The situation reminded him, aberrantly, of roulette; he clenched his hands before his mind could supply the necessary swap in gambling items. The entirety of his thought process went ostensibly unnoticed, McKay continuing to only pay mind to their captor, who himself seemed to crumple under the lack of bait. Such an emotional upheaval would have impressed him with its skill in a more sane situation. "I'm here upon the personal request of Ladon," McKay said, gesturing to their captor's now nearly-overflowing cup. It seemed an unvoiced order, and the man picked his drink up with the barest tremble of his fingers. Then, and only then, McKay cut a lingering glance across their cells, "Unless you have a better offer." His heart stuck in his throat. Certainly McKay couldn't be suggesting…? Kolya was- Kolya was gone, like dust in the wind, and if McKay somehow knew where the bastard was-

No. No, he had to stop those thoughts right there. But the implication seemed well-formatted for their captor, because the man perked up, and he held back a grimace at the noticeable sparkle in the man's eye. Money made even the Pegasus galaxy go around, for the right price. It was a shame they couldn't solve their Wraith problem with a little greasing of hands. "Of course. Well, if you have come on personal recommendation?" The man tossed back his own drink, noticeably not as smoothly as McKay, and set the cup down to pat his hands on the table, "It has been difficult to find a good price for our goods. Times have been hard, you see."

The eyebrow McKay raised this time spoke the plain interpretation of Do I?, and it made their captor falter, hands briefly clutching at the tabletop. "… Yes," The man coughed, "We have a high starting price, naturally." McKay picked up another canapé from his plate, observing it for a moment before taking a thoughtful bite. The silence in the room sucked out any preconceptions, and everyone seemed to wait for McKay to finish the morsel, "You have yet to impress me." Their captor paled, probably from how similar to Kolya McKay sounded. He couldn't hear Ronon, who would have most certainly been snarling something by now, and Teyla was likewise as silent. It made him worry, and worry more that he wasn't sure who it was most for. With how Rodney was staring down their captor wearing a Genii uniform like this was a perfectly normal day, he began to wonder if he ought to feel a little sorry for himself, first.

"A price, Yelim?" McKay asked. His voice was honey-smooth, as if amused and playing with the idea of losing his patience. It made the other man - Yelim, apparently, and how McKay was able to draw that information out when the three of them couldn't, he had no idea - straighten up in his chair. McKay smiled, "Don't make me wait." He found himself swallowing right along with Yelim, trying not to shift in place. It wasn't fun being literally chained in place, even if these would-have-been allies had correctly deduced they'd find their way out, otherwise. Yelim bobbed his head, "Our caches need re-filling. We will be able to provide the necessary trade, as usual." McKay cocked a brow, "It seems we would be getting the better deal. What's in it for you?"

Favors, he thinks, blindsided. What straits were the people on this planet on, if they felt the need to kidnap people from Atlantis and double-cross not only them but the official leader of the Genii? He bites his lip, furrowing his brows - he's probably about to find out. Yelim shifted in his seat, only stopping when McKay's gaze sharpened on him, "Well, we have heard rumors of the Wraith passing by this area more frequently. We do not know if they are desperate, or…" McKay looked unamused, "Or?" "Or- or looking for something." Yelim's eyes slid over to his and the other's cells, and the 'or someone' was clearly inferred.

Tapping the table with a finger, McKay picked up his cup and took a sip. It was only the barest amount, the liquor making a wet shine on his lips before it was licked away. The gesture was rough, the only bit of him that wasn't polished, and Yelim leaned forward, hand reaching to the container. "Would you like some more?" Yelim asked, tone attempting to be sweeter than its groveling suggested. Leaning forward himself, McKay said lowly, "I would like an answer, Yelim. Before I decide for you." Yelim gulped. "A- a forward payment, then, if you will," Yelim stuttered, waving a hand in a sweeping gesture toward the cells, "Take one of them, whichever you want." "Hm." McKay leaned back in his chair, "And then?"

"'And then'?" Yelim asked, nervous. His arm was still in the air, but it slowly sank back down to the table, hand closing into a loose fist. "And when I find your offer inevitably sub-standard, what shall I do, then?" McKay asked, frowning. He looked for all the world a patient, faintly disapproving teacher, "What leverage do you think you'll be holding over me? All I'll need to do is pick Sheppard over there, the rest will be useless to… him." There again was Kolya's presence wafting into the room, a chill down his spine. How McKay was playing it so cool, he had no idea, his own arm aching from the memory of McKay's injury from the siege that sometimes seemed like only yesterday. Yelim seemed equally off-footed, gulping. "I- I-"

"You don't know," McKay completed flatly, standing from his chair abruptly. The screeching sound of the wood moving back on stone made him and Yelim alike grimace, "I'll be taking all of them. Save you the effort of thinking about it." Yelim was nodding, looking both relieved and constipated about it. From where he was half-lying on the floor, McKay towered over Yelim, posture as ram-rod straight as he had entered with, chin tipped down with disgust. "Unlock the cells," McKay commanded, "And chain them together. Any foolish escapes on their part will be yours to deal with."

The role reversal was stunning, and Yelim looked faint with encroaching terror as he opened each cell and unlocked their chains from the wall. Ronon was put at the end, incidentally hobbling Teyla, and his considering, dark look leveled at McKay was stonewalled by passive disinterest in the proceedings. It wasn't a look McKay wore often, and it obviously unsettled all of them to see, quieting them as Yelim chained them together. McKay being handed the lead seemed to finalize the arrangement, and he watched as McKay spared a light, courteous smile to Yelim, "You'll be conducting your other trade as usual." "Y-yessir," Yelim nearly saluted, or whatever passed for such a gesture in this galaxy, lingering behind in the jail while McKay marched them ahead in silence.

-

Seeing daylight again was blinding, which put paid how much time he had estimated passed in the makeshift dungeon. He couldn't even raise his hands to block out the glare, McKay's hand on the leading bit of chain forcing his arms down as grimaced and blinked rapidly. Whatever the reason, McKay hadn't arrived at this planet alone - it was still the same planet, something he found himself faintly grateful for in this bizarre situation. The guards were unrecognizable, as blank-faced as McKay himself, who hopped-to with a gesture from McKay's free hand and escorted them to the gate. It was a mostly silent affair, up until Ronon growled. Me, too, buddy, he thought, hearing the aggravated tone in the sound. As much as he was still gambling that this was all some hilarious - or would be hilarious - misunderstanding, perhaps with some off-world variant of a gotcha, the hopes he was holding on tightly out of habit stumbled as he did when McKay twisted the chain.

"Do I need to remind you the consequences of disobeying me?" McKay said sharply. It wasn't even the tone McKay used in the labs, astringent to the point of stripping other's egos off. Just one hell of a verbal whetting, whittling down any presumptions. He already knew Ronon was glaring at McKay, and he struggled to straighten as best he could from how McKay had the chain wrapped tightly around his own fist, reminding him of the way the horse trainer on his father's property would quell rebellious foals as they were lead-trained. He swallowed, tilting his head to the side just enough to signal to Ronon to knock it off. Teyla, between them, had the watchful air about her that was probably dangerous in other situations - not here, though, not now. McKay was the one literally holding the reins on this one, waiting for Ronon to make his decision. What the hell is today, he thinks, appreciative of breaking out of that cell despite the deeply unusual manner, but unsure if they're walking into yet another situation. If McKay was somehow a turn-coat… No, he couldn't assume that. Not over until it's over.

Ronon, thankfully, decided not to pursue his anger. They nevertheless had to wait another moment as McKay stared Ronon down with a flinty gaze before tugging him and the rest of the team along. He watched McKay, straight-backed and in an enemy's clothing, leading them through the gate. Somehow he didn't get the feeling Atlantis would be on the other side.

-

He hated being right. This wasn't a planet he recognized, and by Teyla's quick inhale, neither did she. Fuck. If it weren't for their hands all being bound, or McKay's now unsurprisingly strong grip on the chain, he would be torn between scrubbing a hand over his face and attempting to strangle McKay, instead of wondering what shithole they just stepped into. Betrayal was looking more likely, and he felt the pit in his stomach grow as McKay gestured to his guards to scout the area out. They had nodded curtly, one man stationing himself by the DHD, blowing any hopes out of the water of an uncomplicated escape.

McKay was ignoring them, inasmuch as one could while actively keeping a hold of a direct link to captives. He was opening one of the breast pockets on his jacket, pulling out a slim device with a screen on it. Whatever it was, it looked heavily like an LSD, which he watched McKay operate one-handed with a scrutinizing look on his face. He wet his lips, wondering if he ought to break the taboo and risk speaking, when McKay slid his gaze toward him without actually moving his head. The effect was cutting, and he bit back whatever he was still in the middle of planning to say, clenching his hands on the chain connecting him to McKay. "Don't," McKay said dismissively, still looking at the device in his hands. Whatever was on the screen was obscured by the angle and reflection of the sun on it. Faintly, he wanted to damn the fact that they knew each other well enough to have a conversation that was only half verbal. It made for a hell of an enemy, especially one as smart and resourceful as Rodney. Someone he had encouraged to be resourceful.

Of all the friends he had betraying him, this one bit the deepest. He exhaled roughly, bracing himself for whatever was going to happen now. At the very least, he had his team to get home. Whatever it was McKay had done, he knew at least some of the man's way of thinking - it would hurt, to take him out, but he'd do it. Just as he was slotting ideas into place, throwing some out that didn't fit with what he knew of McKay, some of the Genii came back from their scouting. What was shocking was that Kolya wasn't with them, or any new people. McKay was smirking wryly, though, tilting his chin up in greeting to the other men. "Clear," One of the men said, which was disturbing for its clear recognition of the next phase of a plan - orchestrated by McKay? - and confounding by the fact that all of them seemed to come to a stand-still.

"Good," McKay answered, and then looked up, squinting into the sunshine. It was a different time of day on this planet, his brain giving him vertigo over it. If part of the plan was to give them gate lag, well - it wasn't the worst thing to pile on them, even if he was uncertain what else was in store for them. McKay seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for - the Genii didn't have planes, as far as he knew, and no Wraith were flying over head - and turned toward them. "Hands out, Sheppard," McKay ordered, still having that wry look on his face. Of course, it would be ironic, given that it was frequently the exact phrase McKay used before he used him as a lightswitch for yet another Ancient doodad.

He snarled silently as he did so. McKay didn't do more than make sure the chains were at proper tension, forcing him to stand still lest Teyla and Ronon be lurched forward with him. The strain put him in a bad mood as he watched McKay wave the device over his arms, shoulders tight as he felt it waved over his neck. McKay looked at the device, observing whatever the read-out must be. And what was he looking for, exactly? They had all been conscious for- well, enough of the time to be sure nothing was done to them outside of being dragged to a repurposed root cellar and chained up until McKay found them. But whatever it was seemed to appease him, because McKay nodded to the other Genii around them. "Teyla," McKay said, waving his device to gesture where he wanted her to go, "If you would."

"Rodney-" She said, obviously trying to seize an opportunity as she walked to stand beside him, the chain between them rattling and hitting his thigh. McKay held up a finger warningly, "Ah. No. Hold out your hands." He watched Teyla purse her lips, looking cross and upset. Still, she did as McKay bade her, and he repeated the process. By this time, the routine was observable, and Ronon slunk silently beside Teyla with an interrogative glare on his face. Whether it was because McKay knew better or because he was indifferent to it, he merely repeated the same scan on Ronon. There was little chance of them overthrowing the situation, not with how McKay still had the lead firmly winched tight around his hands and just enough people around them that their odds weren't favorable. He could only watch as McKay went through the results of whatever this last scan was, once again looking pleased.

They were shuffled back into a line instead of side by side, and he spared a moment to mourn the loss of friendly human contact as McKay gestured to the man at the DHD, "Dial it." How many planets was McKay going to drag them through?

-

Ladon Radim greeted them on the other side, sitting on a stump and keeping a finger on the firearm he had aimed at them as they stepped through the gate. Slowly, the détente lowered between Radim and McKay - he found himself faintly surprised they made it to the Genii at all, and not delivered straight into Kolya's hands. The shock of it seemed to quiet whatever words he could feel were brewing at his back by Teyla and Ronon, a counterpoint for the way his wrists ached at the sustained posture. He raised an eyebrow at Radim's curious look, feeling a foul mood encroach further at the way the other man hummed thoughtfully and turned to McKay. "I admit," Radim said lightly, "I hadn't expected you to succeed." McKay didn't bequeath the goading statement with an answer, merely gesturing to the same man that had dialed them here, "Dial out."

Was this a horse and pony show? He frowned at McKay's back, wondering what the game was, here. But McKay said nothing to them, nor even turned to look at them as they were shuffled out of the way of the wormhole. The assessing stares of the Genii around him made the hair on the back of his neck prickle, but he figured McKay was the ringmaster of this little deception - if Radim wasn't stopping them, what was to say they weren't going to Kolya, anyway? Just as the wormhole stabilized, McKay led them to it, drawing him up so that they stood - disregarding the chains that more than symbolized a hierarchy - as equals. He watched McKay watch him, wishing that for once there was some sort of genuine expression on the man's face. Or was this the default? He wasn't sure any more. McKay tilted an inscrutable look at him, edged in an unexpected softness despite the forbidding blankness, "Colonel." He wanted to say something back, but the tension of the lead chain was abruptly released in time for him to be shoved through the wormhole. It was only by the slackening of the chain binding him to Teyla that he could sense he was followed.

-

This time the sunlight he was blinking back was the setting sun through Atlantis' windows, as familiar to him as his own breath. He was still blinking, finally bringing his hands up to his face to block out the light and disregarding the way the chain smacked against his legs and hitting all the bruises he had sustained when they were captured, when he could hear someone calling his name. "John?" Elizabeth called out, much closer than he had expected. She was reaching out to him, lowering his hands from his face and looking at him searchingly, "John, where's Rodney?" "McKay-" Ronon spat, as Teyla tried to intervene, "He was-"

"Right here," McKay himself said, the ripple of the wormhole failing to obscure the sound of his boot heels clicking on the floor. He whipped around, barely avoiding the chains hitting Elizabeth as he turned to face McKay, who was still in Genii uniform and standing stiffly at attention in a way that would make his old drill sergeant proud, "As ordered." "Rodney, you don't need to-" Elizabeth started, falling silent at the look McKay threw her, bitter and angry. "Don't," He said flatly, not the same dismissive as he was toward him two planets ago, but it had the same effect of rendering Elizabeth speechless, her hands falling from where they had reached for his own moments earlier. McKay frowned deeply, disapproving, "You will never do that again." Elizabeth nodded faintly. In the resulting silence of the words, McKay marched out of the gate room, ignoring Lorne, the various soldiers, and some anxious scientists lingering around as he exited in the direction of the ready room. He could have heard a pin drop after the distant swoosh of the automatic door. Turning toward Elizabeth, he said, "What the fuck is going on?"

-

It turned out to have been a plan so asinine that it had a higher than possible probability of working. If only by sheer bizarre circumstance. Elizabeth had to reassure him several times that McKay had not, in face, defected to the Genii, or even to Kolya, but had rather been coerced into playacting as one in order to take advantage of the situation that Kolya had wanted Sheppard. And the rest of AR-1. As she explained it, none of the trick would have worked if McKay had gone with them for that trip, because then Yelim would have known that he was from Atlantis, as well. "Ladon has… assured me," Elizabeth said, looking down at her twiddling thumbs, picking her words carefully, "That all of our scientists that had been on detail with you have been safely delivered from that planet. Yelim will also be delivering to him the agreed-upon amount of flour and vegetables in three day's time. We'll be getting a cut of it as payment."

"For what?" He asked dourly, crossing his arms. Bafflingly, Elizabeth shrugged, "I don't know, honestly. Only that Rodney had negotiated it." He muttered around his frown, "So that's why he shoved me." "What?" Elizabeth tilted her head at him, and he shook his head to dismiss the question. Gathering herself, she continued to relay the events that led to him, Teyla, and Ronon in the conference room.

McKay wasn't here, ostensibly working on communication relay units to boost their radio and intranet signals. They hadn't seen him at all, and nobody was telling where in the bowels of the city he was hiding, and Elizabeth continued, "Radim was only able to find information on Kolya's intentions at the last moment, and we needed someone who knew gate technology and could believably bluff your captors into thinking they were working for Kolya."

"Why not Zelenka?" Ronon asked, leaning back in his chair. It squeaked alarmingly at the angle he tilted it at, ignoring how he and Elizabeth frantically gestured for him to not lean back so far. He merely kept up his implacable stare, which was aided by the way Teyla was throwing in her two cents of a look. Elizabeth sighed, "We debated it, believe it or not. But Rodney volunteered, rather vehemently." He snorted, able to believe that McKay would argue his point, but not able to believe him capable of lying so well to fool not only their captors, but them, as well, "Zelenka's at least been in the military. No offense to McKay, but he doesn't have that kind of bearing."

Which flew blatantly in the face of the act McKay had pulled to get them out of there, and Elizabeth's tilted brow told them as much, "He insisted," She said, tone closing that particular avenue of discontent, "His argument was quite strong. None of us, outside of all of you, know Kolya quite as well." And Elizabeth would never be allowed to risk herself like that to go off-world. He sighed, acknowledging the point. They all watched her stare in the middle distance for a bit, gathering her thoughts, before she sighed, "Rodney was correct. With the bounty on your head, John, and consequently the rest of your team, he was our best shot at bluffing everyone. It seemed he did well enough to convince even you, and you work closely with him nearly every day."

"But still a question remains," Teyla said, resting her hands delicately on the table. It was a gesture he recognized from off-world, when she was deciding the best body language to look open and accommodating while still retaining her status as a visiting negotiator. That she felt the need to do it here stung, Elizabeth mirroring his thoughts with her own frown as she leaned back, "How did Rodney learn how to mask himself so well? It is not in his nature." That was a million dollar question. He turned his attention back to Elizabeth, who, it seemed, could only shrug at them sadly, "You'll need to ask him, I'm afraid. He refused to tell any of us."

-

In the end, they all just decided to ambush McKay. Four days had passed at that point, and their erstwhile team mate had been sneakier than they had given him credit for, probably surviving off stashed food and odd corners to sleep in. Zelenka was still tight-lipped, looking vaguely pissed off in a way that promised their answers would be sparse, but there were no actual complaints from his quarter and only a vague hint to go off of. It said something that McKay hadn't expected it on the way to his own room at the ass-crack of dawn, still early enough that the sun hadn't even begun to start rising. He looked like shit, bags under his eyes and the swaying walk of someone too exhausted to pay attention to their surroundings. Feeling only a little bit like an asshole, he cornered McKay to a wall, flanked by Ronon and Teyla. For McKay's part, it took him a couple of moments after jolting in shock to recognize what was going on, "Seriously?"

"Talk, McKay," Ronon growled, and wow, the big guy must have been holding that in for a while, based on the way he loomed. McKay didn't do more than huff and roll his eyes. "No," McKay retorted, similar enough in tone that he had to repress a flinch, the other man's face briefly flashing in guilty abashment before smoothing out into exhaustion, "I've been trying to make sure our equipment can still talk to each other after the last brown-out, and I am going to bed. You can interrogate me in the morning." Teyla was the first to leave off, stepping back as McKay put a hand on his chest and pushed him away. Ronon only did so reluctantly, and they all watched McKay promptly ignore him to escape into his room. Staring at the door, he debated whether or not it was worth breaching the thin line of privacy in order to secure some answers. His team mates decided for him, sitting down on either side of the door as one. He sighed, sliding down the wall opposite of the door, muttering, "Wake me up when he gets out."

-

"Oh my god, you have got to be kidding me," He heard McKay say, somehow sounding far above him. Blinking himself awake, he realized he had slumped to the ground while he had been waiting, one arm automatically cushioning his head from the ground. Exasperated, McKay swatted his shin with a foot, "At least get up and get some coffee, you idiot." McKay left as swiftly as he appeared, muttering to himself as he went back into his room. That seemed to be tacit invitation for them to file into the room, and he scrubbed at his hair, hoping it wasn't flattened on one side. Though he wasn't there very often, McKay's room was somehow still a surprising clutter of work and living space all mixed together. Teyla lingered with him as McKay grumbled to himself and fished a couple of mess hall cups out of a box, heading into the bathroom to fill them with water. He watched as Ronon flung himself on top of the bed insouciantly, glaring at McKay when he was filling up the coffee maker perched on an improvised end table as if daring him to argue.

Rolling his eyes, McKay only bothered to flap a hand at Ronon, digging out a tin of what ended up being coffee ground and measuring them meticulously into the machine. "I don't have any sugar," McKay said, "Because god knows there would somehow be gargantuan, poisonous ants or something if anything spilled, but if you're really keen then you can go to the mess for that." He shrugged, leaning against the dresser and hoping his back wasn't going to crack audibly from sleeping on the floor. The slope made his hip ache, but it was worth it to weather the dirty look McKay gave him for leaning an elbow against some motherboards heaped atop the furniture.

"Do you really have to- whatever," McKay waved an arm generously at him, "Get your questions over with, I do actually have to get some breakfast at some point." They looked at each other, McKay bitchy and expectant, and he looked at Teyla. She popped her eyebrows up at him, acknowledging how he was foisting the conversation off on her and promising retribution during training later today. He shrugged back, letting her take the lead. Sighing delicately, Teyla raised her hands placatingly, "Your manner of… freeing us, while creative and appreciated, leaves us to speculate as to the manner." McKay cocked a brow, "Wow. Now I really know what it's like to be on the other side," He commented, over the gurgle of the coffee maker behind him, "You want to know why I wasn't a hot mess like I usually am, right?"

And it wasn't a question, but Teyla treated it like one, nodding with a dignified gravity that smoothed over several of the questions he could feel her wanting to ask. McKay sighed, shrugging, "Not much to it. We had confirmation that Yelim wanted to sell you guys out to Kolya, dead or alive, and Radim wasn't sure who he could trust to extract you without participating in the sale." "Sale," He said, sourly. It occurred to him, again, how closely they avoided a worse fate, even if his mind had been turning over a thousand possibilities of how the situation was already dogshit. "Sale," McKay repeated in weary acknowledgment, shoulders drooping, "Yeah. If Kolya had gotten you, all of you would have died. That's the only thing we knew for sure."

Teyla glanced at him worriedly, smoothly resuming her end of the conversation, "We are sure that the pressure to rescue us must have been intense." "Oh, definitely," McKay agreed, turning to the coffee maker as it steamed to a finish. The pot didn't look like it held enough, but he knew from previous experience that McKay brewed it strong enough to build with as a default. The Daedalus resupplying them had been a godsend for McKay hoarding as much caffeine as possible. He accepted the piping hot cup handed to him, letting it warm his hands as he waited McKay out. It didn't take long, and he watched McKay visibly review his memories the same way Elizabeth had done, "Sheppard, you remember how I said I got a visit in sixth grade?"

"… Yeah?" McKay smiled humorlessly, "It wasn't the only one." He froze, grip tightening on his cup at the last minute, "You mean-" "That I became well-acquainted with the vagaries of Americanism?" McKay replied, "Yes, I did." Teyla and Ronon were wearing similar frowns of confusion, knowing something was up but not the particulars. For now, he ignored the urge to explain things to them, keeping his attention on McKay, "And that's where you learned that." McKay shrugged in an illuminating manner. He frowned, straightening up off the dresser, "And Elizabeth used that." "I allowed Elizabeth to use that," McKay corrected, crossing his arms, "She didn't know, either." "Would she?" He asked. McKay sighed, "No. Not if this hadn't happened." Teyla was watching them like a tennis match, "John…"

He shook his head, biting his lip. Of all the conversations to expect, he hadn't predicted this one, "And this isn't on your record?" "No, apparently not," McKay said wryly, "SGC must not have carried the notes over." Jesus. He did scrub a hand over his face at that, wondering how he got himself in these kinds of situations, "Anything else I need to know about?" McKay got that same frustratingly opaque look as he did on that planet, glancing away from him with lips pressed so tightly together he was surprised there was still color in his face, "I'm not doing that again. I didn't like it." And that was the most McKay-like personality he hadn't seen in half a week. It was promising, and he crooked a smile at McKay, "I won't let it happen again."

That promise seemed to be enough for him, because McKay seemed to slump in relief, "Just don't get captured again, alright? The Genii have no idea how to brush wool out." He laughed, "What can I say, McKay. They're not very good at what they do." McKay grinned at him, slotting back into his team as if he had never left it. He made a mental note to talk to Elizabeth about this, but let McKay herd them all to the mess, complaining about how hungry he was.

-

Author's Notes

In typical canon style, Rodney drops a throwaway line about his past and there’s approximately zero follow-up to it in any episode in order to further develop his character. This follows on the idea introduced in “Underground” (episode 1x08), and goes through most of the Genii plot line, but takes place in some unspecified time between “Coup D’Etat” (episode 2x17) and “Irresponsible” (episode 3x13).

Title taken from the idea of shadow puppetry (Wikipedia) and nightingale flooring (Wikipedia). For some additional background notes, Radek is mentioned to have military experience because by virtue of his age and being from the Czech Republic, he would have been expected to at least attend training. Presumably Radek knows how to do things like stand in a line and handle a firearm, but as this is a Rodney-centric fic, Rodney would have been going regardless of whether Radek would be (doubtfully) able to handle the pressure of the situation.

Because of the sometimes inconsistent writing – especially so with Rodney – I doubt this would have ever been considered a canon-type event, particularly because he’s been designated by the plot as either the scientist trope or the comic relief trope. Still, I feel like it would have been a good opportunity to round out his character and add some reinforcement to his myriad weaknesses as a person by throwing him into a situation like this.

A special thanks to @avocado-moon (AO3) for the feedback!

[drgmissioncontrol]

MC, that planet that you’ve deemed off limits, the one that invited those scary purple crabs? That thing was conquered by humans. They’re the ones behind the utterly terrifying stories and artifacts that got stuck on there.

I wouldn't underestimate humans, if they caused a moon to vanish and killed two gods, getting the attention of the void...

Actually that's probably a better reason to keep using dwarves over humans. Dwarves are consistent and predictable, much like the driller detonating C4 on his teammates. Humans... humans are unpredictable and incredibly flexible, probably best we keep them away from Hoxxes... as much as the planet scares me I'd rather it still be there tomorrow so I can get my paycheque.

Praise be to dwarves for being predictable and not inviting scary purple crab things that could swallow us whole into some nightmare dimension!

Humans are a cancer. Tell me it’s not true. They attach themselves to every situation with any potential gain and immediately do the worst imaginable thing. If they weren’t so damn violent maybe they’d be more progressed. Maybe they’d rule us all by now.

But they don’t. You can’t beat Dwarven discipline.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Hey Frank, do you have a recipe for c4 and anchovy pizza that you wouldn't mind sharing? I'm cooking tomorrow for a pot luck and the rest of the blockheads like fish (I do not), not sure how to incorporate fish into stuff though. Thanks in advance.

Here's what I did:

1 medium red onion, very thinly sliced

A bunch of anchovies, sliced on a diagonal

Half a lemon, very thinly sliced

1/3 cup white wine

Couple big pinches of garlic powder

A few big pinches of parsley, probably a few teaspoons

Cook 1 pound of low-sodium penne, until al dente

In a medium-sized mixing bowl, stir together the onion, anchovies, lemon, white wine, garlic powder, parsley

Cook the pasta

Drain the pasta, toss it with the rest of the ingredients until everything is covered

Peel a big slice of mozzarella and top the pasta with it (on a plate so you have a bunch of left-over mozzarella)

Eat

Please note: this recipe is a "recipe" in the sense that I cooked this dish for the first time tonight, so I don't really have any experience tweaking it. For instance, I've gotten the impression that putting the fish in with the pasta seems to screw up the creamy, garlicky consistency so I did it by hand?

[mxldito]

Coyote can drive the Roll-Royce Phantom I but it probably won't be fun. Either that or they could drive in the C4 Corvette.

Are you Coyote's type?

"Q, you would not even have to touch me. You wouldn't even have to look at me. If you were to put the keys of a C4 Corvette in my hands, I would literally cream myself on the spot." Blows them a big dramatic kiss.