#probably wouldn't be
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
QUICK REMINDER
In the US: threatening government officials is a felony under federal law (the president in particular is protected under 18 U.S.C. § 871). Even memes.
be careful with your jokes if they spill over to active officials.
#EDIT: clarified the particular section's coverage#unless of course that recent supreme court ruling made it more difficult.. the Counterman v Colorado case#better to play it safe#not all memes are created equal and some are probably less likely to get you in trouble however i wouldn't put it past someone#to at the very least report you to the feds if they don't like what they see#let's see how many people are going to use this to push for trump even harder#no gun control of course
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just remembered I have to go back to school on Tuesday and I'm this close to actually fucking losing it
#ever since I fucked up my college application it feels like everything is just getting worse and worse#we're two months into the school year and I'm already so fucking done#I have no strength nor desire to out any actual effort in#everyone expects it of me. dad will actually fucking kill me if I don't deliver#but I can't#I've been doing this for 12 goddamn years#I was supposed to be done. by all accounts I'm meant to be done#I WAS done!! I have my diploma and everything!!!#I said that I'd never be a high schooler again#and look at me now#all because of one stupid mistake#I have no proof that life would be all sunshine and rainbows if I did get into college#probably wouldn't be#but it would be better than this#anything would be better than this#and even if I make it through this year. I still wouldn't be done. I have to go to university still#and that's another four years at least#and then work until I physically can't anymore...#what's the point? what's the point of anything?? this can't be all there is to life#it can't all be an uphill climb like this. when does it stop? when does it get easier? does it get easier at all?#right now it certainly seems that way#I don't think I'd be able to handle it if is. but I also don't think I have it in me to hang around until I'm proven wrong#what a sad existence huh. 18 years old and already wanting to die. having been wanting that for many years#I'm quite literally only still here because of my dog. I know everyone else will be alright eventually#but I have no idea what will happen to her. no one in my family would be able to take her. I can't just do that to her#she deserves better. even now. I'm an awful pet owner and she would have been better off with someone else#but she's my responsibility now. and as long as she's still breathing.. so will I#it's the least I can do for her. even if staying is unbearable. even if the mere thought of going to school makes me break down#I'm not even pushing on at this point. life is doing all the pushing. I have no idea where I'm headed but idc enough to fight against it#I'm not strong enough to convince myself I actually want to do something with my life. not again. not after last summer
0 notes
Text
Let the poor man rest.
#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever#and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed#he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death#second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gege akutami#my two cents#satosugu
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
UHMMMMM what if T4T labru
#only reason she probably wouldn't use they or neopronouns is cause I can't realistically see them used in that setting. maybe a modern au#I don't think she'd mind being called Laios. or King.#I think he'd like having long pretty hair that looks more like his mama :)#kabru is transmasc kui told me#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#laios touden#trans laios#kabru#labru#transgender#agender#my art#comic
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
the flood.
#good omens#good omens fanart#good omens 2#crowley#ineffable husbands#i think i just wanted an excuse to draw rain#what I wouldn't give for a storm right now#probably not this kind of storm though-
9K notes
·
View notes
Photo
*Married life playing in the background
This idea was probably funnier in my head
#sansmaeda#sansmaeda wedding#undertale#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#sans undertale#meme post#I swear there's a reason why not everyone attended in nagito's side#no one wanted to go in the first place#sdr2#fanart#so for the record:#Ibuki DID attend but could't stay put for 5 minutes so she got bored and left#Teruteru is still pretty angry and bitter at Nagito#Hiyoko couldn't care less and thought it was gross#Akane saw no reason to go since her main source of food wouldn't go (Teruteru)#And spoiler alert but Chiaki's fucking dead lmao#she would've gone tho#probably#Also pretend nagito's using really good foundation on his hand cuz I totally forgot about his metal arm
92K notes
·
View notes
Text
there's no way he said that so confidently
|| Bonus ||
#i know he probably can't help it but dang#this is exactly the kind of thing that sends me#i just know i wouldn't be able to contain myself#i would laugh until i pass out#y/n should teach him how to spell#my art#fanart#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#fnaf dca#fnaf security breach#fnaf#fnaf sb#dca fanart#fnaf sun#moon
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bisexual crisis Crystal edition
#dead boy detectives#dbda#palasaki#palasaki week#it was supposed to be for the free day but i've completely lost the plot and I don't know if I'm on time#...or early#i know we all like to think crystal knows she likes girls#buuuut we saw her past. that is not an emotionally intelligent person#i think she was the kind of girl who put other girls down idk#i just think considering how she speaks for women so many times throughout the show#that it would be great character development#also charles figured it out decades ago#maybe even while he was alive#most of the time he crushes on girls though so you wouldn't know it#edwin probably doesn't know either i'm aware#but imagine if you will him reacting to this like "ugh#because he was there when Charles went through this journey and he did not care for it lol#whatever. niko you angel we all adore you#especially crystal... tho edwin might not like that#edwin: how dare you suggest you like niko more than i do?#preposterous
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my favorite parts about the writing of Howl's Moving Castle is how easy it is to write off all the things from our world at first as him just being a weird wizard™ (also thanks to bestie @jutenium for spotting this I wouldn't put it like that without you!!/pos). Sure, Sophie uses weird descriptions, but readers have every reason to believe them because of the way Howl is presented as a character. When Sophie says he wrote with a quill that doesn't need an ink, you wouldn't think it was actually a ballpoint pen, you would think Howl had just enchanted his quill so that it wouldn't need ink! When she adds that she can't make out a single word, you think he has matchingly terrible handwriting, but in fact Sophie has simply never seen a pen writing. When she sees the mysterious labels on his books, you think he's keeping a lot of obscure magical literature, but it's really just an encyclopedia and a guide like "Top 10 Rugby Tips." When Sophie notices the bottles in Howl's bathtub, you think they're some kind of magical jars where he keeps girl's hearts, but I'm almost certain that they're just 'Dove' and 'Head and Shoulders' that he's enhanced with his spells and put silly labels on. When you read Calicifer singing a song in a language Sophie doesn't understand, you think it's some kind of ancient cipher or code, but it's actually just a rugby song in Welsh that Howl sings when he's drunk. And finally, when you see the terrifying black door, which is completely shrouded in darkness, you imagine a passage to an eerie, mythical place, similar to what Miyazaki showed us - but it's just fucking Wales.
#howl's moving castle#sophie hatter#howl pendragon#howell jenkins#hmc#howl's moving castle book#hmc book#diana wynne jones#I love him he's a mess#he just goes 'I'm gonna make myself such a quirky horrible image so that no one wouldn't question the weird stuff I keep using'#('because no WAY I'M GONNA WRITE WITH A QUILL 20TH CENTURY GUYS)#and it WORKED#(Also that probably why Suliman can't do the same thing. He's too classic Royald Wizard™)#(and ppl would have questions to him)#(but Howl? He's fine guys he's like that All The Time)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
also the english are weird about folk culture. we are. we've relegated our folk dances and music to the zone of esoteric nerd shit that only weirdos do, and then we go looking for esoterica in the non-english parts of our heritage because we don't think we've got any of it of our own
#i'm not saying everyone who wants to do family history research should have to do compulsory morris dancing classes first#but like. it probably wouldn't make things worse. and it would be funny#for legal reasons this is a joke.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Pussy Drunk Thomas Hewitt - Drabble
Thomas Hewitt x FEM!Reader
Tags: established relationship, cunnilingus, forced orgasms, talk of bruises, wet and messy, squirting, dacryphilia, overstimulation
Word count: 1.1k
fucking obsessed with the idea of Thomas getting absolutely, down bad, pussy-drunk as soon as he gets a taste
like his virgin-ass being too afraid of hurting you to fuck you at first and getting on his knees for you. he gets a taste, kind of pulls back and licks his lips and you can see his pupils dilate and his eyes fucking glaze over and he just falls face first into your pussy
sloppy, wet, spit slick, hungry oral from that man. his teeth bump into you in all the right ways sometimes. one moment he's whimpering into you and the next he's grumbling and trying to get his tongue deeper and deeper into you to taste more
and it does not matter to him when you beg for him to slow down and how you can't cum anymore. because you keep dripping on his face and tongue and making wonderful noises and you just taste so fucking good, how could he stop??
his arms wrap around your thighs and he holds onto them hard and firm and keeps you pulled close to his face. you can feel that it's gonna bruise and you're going to cherish those bruises for days
he doesn't even notice how hard he's gripping you because he's trying to get all of his senses filled with you. he tastes, smells and feels nothing but you. the only thing his ears can focus on are your moans and whimpers. his hands massage your thighs periodically and when he opens his eyes it's just to look at your face, thrown back in pleasure. the only thing better is when you're looking down at him with tears in your eyes, still moaning for him
Tommy is completely drunk off your taste. he loves the feeling of your pussy on his tongue and he loves the little whining groan you let out when he sucks on your clit
now, when he keeps going and going and your hand in his hair trying to push him away finally falls to your side, he doesn't even realize what he's doing next. it's all out of instinct when his hands readjust so his arms stay wrapped around your thighs but his thumbs are spreading open your folds. that's when he really loses it
because he can get his tongue even deeper like that. he can bury it inside you and find the spot that makes you drip a little more and that makes you moan all broken and needy. once he finds it he abuses the fuck out of it. keeps licking over it, poking at it with his tongue and savoring every drop of you that spills into his mouth
and then. his holy grail. you grab his hair again and moan louder. you're sobbing and begging him to slow down because it feels different this time. he doesn't listen of course. all he knows is you're about to do that thing again where he can feel your pussy flutter and twitch and your thighs squeeze around him and your moans get all whimpery
he keeps going until your hips lift up into him. he stays attached to your pussy and keeps doing what he's doing, knowing he can't stop. needs to keep going to get you to do that thing
suddenly you gasp and go completely quiet. then you moan so loud it's almost a scream. a sobbing sort of thing that's absolutely gorgeous to him. on top of that your hips start wildly shaking along with your legs and your pleasure starts gushing out of you
Tommy moans into your juices and gets closer if that's even possible at that point. he shakes his head so he rubs over your clit side to side while he keeps his tongue abusing that spot inside you. and fuck does he get drenched. he swallows down as much as he can of you and whimpers into it. anything he can't get, drips down his face and drenches his shirt and lap
once you come down you realize he's still going and you can't handle it anymore. you start crying more and weakly kicking your legs out which finally makes Tommy look up. he sees your devastated face and while he thinks the sweat mixed with tears and drool, as well as the tortured pleasure in your eyes is a heavenly sight, he listens to your weak pleas
he finally pulls away and you sigh in relief. Tommy stays away from your pussy (as much as he hates it) and spends his time licking your thighs clean. just a minute away from your pussy makes him whimper and look up at you pleadingly. your legs are still shaking and you shake your head at him
so Tommy whines and starts biting your thighs instead, getting closer and closer to your pussy until he's mouthing right next to it. you're shaking and sweating and still losing a coupe tears when he licks flat over your clit once. then your back arches and you gasp, trying not to make too loud a noise
you know if you moan he's gonna start again and you think he might actually kill you that time. he softly licks over your clit again, wraps his lips around it and you slap a hand over your mouth. but Tommy sees your lack of noise as a sign to keep going and starts sucking on your clit. when his teeth graze over it your hand whips away from your mouth to his hair and you yell out a moan that ends with a broken whine
immediately you know you're in for it. Tommy moans happily and grabs your thighs hard once more. he dives into you again and gets back to his sloppy, needy and enthusiastic pace without hesitation. all you can do is moan, whimper and whine as Tommy makes you see stars over and over again
he's obsessed with making you squirt on his face and listening to your whimpers as he tastes you. he loves the feeling of your heartbeat in your clit, pounding against his tongue
sometimes you can't get him off of your pussy until he's had at least a couple hours of his way with you. he's obsessed with your pussy and a single taste makes him entirely lose his mind. he'd do anything to fall to his knees in front of you
he would spend forever between your thighs if it was up to him
your pussy is his paradise and his salvation. every gush of your juices is a baptism of wonder. you are his goddess and he worships you at every turn
#thomas hewitt x reader#thomas hewitt#TCM#texas chainsaw massacre#texas chainsaw the beginning#thomas hewitt smut#texas chainsaw smut#DisastersAreAJoyDrabbles#this was supposed to be a short idea#and then i just couldn't stop#Tommy has been haunting me lately and this just wouldn't stop playing over in my mind#if literally anyone wants this idea more fleshed out and an actual fic lmk#will absolutely write it if only one person says yes#ill probably write it anyways#HES HAUNTING ME AND I LOVE IT
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
So? Who broke the ice? insp (x)
#iwtv#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#armand#daniel molloy#armandiel#devil's minion#armandaniel#I AM 10000% SURE THIS GIFSET ALREADY EXISTS. probably multiple times over.#i just wouldn't know how to find it at this point so i made my own#also i was going to link the text post going around that inspired this but then i couldn't find it 😭 i planned badly my bad.#anyway. thinking about Them all the time#meet cute of the century#if you made a text post about a parallels gifset w this daniel line and any memory-redacted stuff next season: you inspired this thank u#ETA: found and added the text post that inspired it! a little late but it's there now
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
#I woke up today with a thought in my head and it wouldn't leave until I got it on paper#probably not going to finish this or do anything with it but it was such a clear visual I had to#CanisAlbus#own art#own characters#art#artists on tumblr#Vasco#Machete#sketches#something something doglike loyalty even in the face of certain defeat
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu four#lu twilight#lu wolfie#lu wild#lu legend#lu hyrule#fairy hyrule#I drew most of these on my weekends at camp#hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers#man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way#I was there 6+ weeks straight#some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town#a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf#we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers'#AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do#so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol#that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME#but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol#I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf#Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D '#and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn?#caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting#calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us#for emotional support#her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay#anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner#I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE#we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
actually one of the craziest things about harrow and gideon's relationship is the fact that they're like, unhealthily obsessed with each other but also both think the other does not care as much as they do. gideon literally died for harrow and thinks that harrow hates her so much that she erased her from her memory. harrow lobotomized herself because she couldn't allow herself to destroy gideon's soul. and they're both still just like, "she could never love me." ARE YOU BOTH FUCKING STUPID??????? (the answer is yes)
#like to be entirely fair#if I grew up in a shitty little moon planet death cult I also probably wouldn't be very emotionally intelligent#but they are like. holy FUCK read the ROOM#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#gideon x harrow#harrow x gideon#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
She thought they mitosed again, didn't she?
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#deltarune fanart#undertale#undertale fanart#deltarune comic#comic#deltarune au#crossover#utdr#kfc#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#chara#susie deltarune#at least she didn't call them risk#to be fair she probably wouldn't have thought of that anagram#but for the love of#help ralsei out#don't just stand there!
6K notes
·
View notes