#probably will never experience anything like this again!!!

[illyrianbitch]

Are We Still Friends?

Pairing: Reader x Azriel

Summary: Worried about how his new relationship seems to be changing him, you talk to Azriel about your concerns. Things take a turn when he refuses to listen.

Warnings: some wine sipping, gossiping, angst, miscommunication, friend fighting, jealousy (but no one realizes), az being defensive and blind

Word Count: 5k

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

“It’s not that I don’t like her.”

The words tasted as false as they were, and you grimaced the moment they slipped out, already bracing for the look Mor would throw your way. True to form, she didn’t disappoint, her expression halfway between amusement and exasperation.

A defeated sigh escaped as you accepted the glass of wine she offered, watching as she filled her own nearly to the brim.

“You’re better than me, then,” she hummed, settling back onto the couch across from you. “Because I don’t like her.”

You raised a brow. “You don’t like many people nowadays.”

She shrugged, casual as ever, though a smirk tugged at her lips. “True. I’m not exactly lining up for any peace medals, am I?”

You chuckled softly, leaning back in your chair. “I just… have this odd feeling about her, you know?”

Mor tilted her head, letting out a noncommittal hum. “Oh, I know. She drags Az around on a leash.”

You were tempted to say something about the irony in her words—remind her, in a loving manner, that she might've been guilty of that once upon a time, too. But you decided against it. She wasn't wrong.

You swirled the wine in your glass, watching the dark liquid move in slow, mesmerizing circles. The feeling wasn’t new; it had been there since the first time you’d met her. Azriel’s new girlfriend Selene was perfectly fine—charming, even. But there was something else, something you couldn’t quite name. Like a faint hum in the background of a quiet room, just irritating enough to notice but not enough to prove anything was wrong.

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

You glanced up, finding Mor’s bright brown eyes sharp and focused on you, the lazy humor of a moment ago gone.

“I doubt he’ll listen,” you admitted, resting the bottom of your glass on your thigh. “He didn’t listen to you.”

“That’s different.”

“It’s really not.”

Mor raised a brow like she wanted to argue, but she only sighed in response. “He’s been so weird about his love life. Gwyn didn’t work out. Elain’s probably the happiest out of all of us. Maybe he’s treading lightly.”

“Maybe,” you murmured, though you weren’t convinced.

Azriel had changed in small, almost imperceptible ways since everything had settled—since everyone had paired off and fallen in love. Everyone except you. And him.

You were fine with your situation, content in the quiet steadiness of your life. Azriel wasn’t. You knew it. He knew it, though he’d never admit it. So much of his self-worth was tangled up in whether he believed himself worthy of love. And the absence of it—of a solid, undeniable love in his life, of a partner, of a potential bond—seemed to weigh on him. To him, it wasn’t just an empty space; it was a failure.

You’d almost go as far as to say he’d become desperate, living in the shadows and watching his brothers experience loves so profound they might as well have been plucked from stories meant to inspire poets and dreamers.

Mating bonds were rare. You reminded yourself of that often. Your family was just an anomaly, their luck skewed impossibly high. But logic wasn’t enough to soothe Azriel, and it certainly wouldn’t stop him from chasing it. He was obsessive. Stubborn.

Nothing you said or did could change his perspective.

Mor’s voice pulled you out of your head again. “Speak of the devil,” she sang out. “Hi, Elain.”

Your gaze snapped up to the doorway, finding Elain standing just beyond the archway. She looked like a spooked deer, frozen in place with that polite smile you’d come to recognize as her default around company she hadn’t fully warmed up to yet.

“We were just talking about Azriel’s unfortunate romantic history,” Mor said smoothly. You glanced at Elain for her reaction.

It had taken time for that particular history to fade. Maybe it was appropriate to joke about now, but you personally would’ve waited a few more years before bringing it up so flippantly. Mor, however, had little patience for such niceties.

Elain’s expression didn’t shift beyond a faint flicker in her eyes, and you realized how much her composure had improved over the years. Then again, it had been a while since she and Lucien had found each other for good—long enough for their bond to solidify and for them to leave for the Day Court after their mating ceremony.

A twinge of jealousy sparked in you before you brushed it aside.

“We’re just gossiping in general. Want to join us?” you asked, gesturing to the chair beside you. Plush and inviting, it mirrored the one you sat on. “Unless Lucien is waiting for you upstairs?”

Elain’s cheeks flushed crimson. 

“Lucien’s still with Feyre, catching up,” she said, stepping further into the room. “What are you drinking?”

Mor reached for the bottle on the table, plucking it up and turning it in her hand to read the label.

“Something good and expensive,” she replied, with a half-hearted air of indulgence, before tilting her head at Elain with a faint grin.

“It’s from Rhys’s rather gluttonous collection,” you said, sensing Elain’s hesitation. “It won’t be missed at all.”

She smiled at that. “I’d love some.”

“There are a lot of glasses in that cabinet,” you said, pointing to the wood door with ornate carvings. “Grab whichever one you’d like.”

Mor sat up straighter, scooting herself back into the pillows behind her. You hummed, impressed, at her ability to hold both her full wine glass and the bottle without so much as a wobble.

You hadn’t spent much time with Elain one-on-one. Emissary duties had kept you busy during the years the Archeron sisters had adjusted to their new lives. But you liked Elain, from what you’d seen. She had a kind heart. She also had a sharp humor that surfaced at the oddest moments, usually when she and Lucien were whispering in corners, conspiratorial before seamlessly rejoining whatever social event they were at like they’d never left.

Elain returned and sat down with her chosen glass—a delicate crystal piece that gleamed in the soft light. Mor went to fill it instantly. 

“Can I ask why you were discussing Azriel’s romantic life?” Elain asked. Her voice was smooth, certain. No hesitation.

It didn’t faze her anymore, you realized—being such a strange, pivotal turning point in Azriel’s past experiences. She’d made peace with it, the way immortality seemed to demand. Time softened the edges of even the messiest situations, turning them into stories you could recount with startling detachment. Almost humorous, really.

Because how else could you explain being casual about the fact that your best friend had almost allowed his pride—and arrogance—and, somehow simultaneously, his insecurity—to lead him into a blood duel over Elain’s affections? A blood duel.

But now, it was just… something to write off. A distant memory, softened by the years and Lucien’s easy confidence. Lucien was better than you. You would’ve held that grudge against Azriel for many more years—long enough to make it a point of pride. But then again, Lucien had won everything he wanted in the end. He had the girl, the bond, the certainty that whatever lingering rivalry Azriel might feel was entirely one-sided.

It wasn’t important enough for Lucien to waste any more energy on.

You exchanged a glance with Mor, who arched a brow, clearly just as amused by Elain’s openness.

“Y/n doesn’t like his new girlfriend,” Mor said.

Your mouth fell open. “You don’t either.”

“True,” Mor agreed easily. She looked to Elain. “We don’t like her.”

“For clarification,” you said firmly, “I never said I didn’t like her.”

Mor laughed, sipping her wine with an amused grin.

Your face fell flat. “What?”

“Nothing,” she replied breezily. “But if you get a bad feeling about someone, that’s usually dislike.”

You resisted the urge to scowl, already turning over the guilt in your mind. You didn’t want to be that person—the kind who dismissed another female off the bat. Maybe your gut was wrong this time. Maybe her smile had reached her eyes, and you’d been too preoccupied to notice. Maybe her tone hadn’t been as assessing as you remembered, and you were projecting. You wanted to like her. You wanted to be happy for Azriel.

But he didn’t seem happy. He seemed distracted. Busy. Not himself.

And not the kind of busy you’d seen before—the methodical, obsessive focus he funneled into work or training. This was different, scattered in a way you couldn’t quite pin down. It had made sense in the beginning, when things were new and exciting, but now it was starting to feel uncomfortable. He’d started missing things—small things at first, like sparring sessions or those late-night conversations you, Mor, and him would have when you couldn’t sleep. Then came the bigger things. He’d stopped being able to review external court updates with you, even when those meetings were critical for your diplomatic roles.

Azriel had always been the one you could count on. Out of everyone, you considered him your closest friend—even more than Mor, though you’d never admit it out loud. But now it seemed like every time you made plans, Selene needed him more.

And then there was how fast it was all moving. Too fast. At a recent family dinner, she’d casually mentioned that she and Azriel could move in together—offhand, like it was the most obvious next step. Something about leaving the townhouse behind, creating a space with décor that matched her aesthetic. Azriel had just stayed quiet, looked at her like she’d just proposed the most brilliant idea in existence.

You noticed he did that. The way he looked at her. The way he’d looked at Elain and Gwyn back when they were seeing each other. It weirded you out—that tendency to put the people he saw as romantic interests on a pedestal, as though they were flawless. As though they were something he didn’t deserve.

You knew where it came from. That deep-rooted insecurity that even centuries hadn’t managed to erase. He didn’t see it, the way he wore himself down trying to prove his worth to people who, for the most part, had already accepted him. But you saw it. You always had.

And it made it harder to like Selene. To trust her intentions. Maybe that was unfair, but you couldn’t help but feel like she was just taking—taking all the parts of Azriel that used to be all of yours to share, and twisting them into something else. Something that didn’t include his family.

Still, you wanted to try. To let go of the gnawing irritation in your chest and convince yourself it didn’t matter. If she made him happy—truly happy—then none of it should matter. You were adamant on ensuring that you didn’t turn into the stereotypical overbearing female best friend.

Elain tapped her glass lightly. “Lucien doesn’t like her.”

You blinked back into reality. “Really?”

She nodded, a beat passing before she added, “To be honest, I’m not sure I do either.”

Mor leaned forward, grinning like she’d been handed a stack of gold. You almost wished Amren was here to bask in the moment. Amren didn’t like Azriel’s girlfriend, either. Maybe your family really was as unwelcoming as people claimed. Or maybe Selene simply brought out another level of scrutiny. The thought of either option made you feel bad— gross. 

“Why?” Mor asked.

“She was dismissive toward Lucien. And,” Elain hesitated, her brow furrowing slightly, “She seemed… entitled, I suppose. Especially with Azriel. Like she expected him to accommodate her every whim.”

You frowned, turning over her words. “I’m sure she was just nervous. We can be an intimidating group. Maybe she just needs time to settle in. We just want Az to be happy, right? So, if she makes him happy, then I’m absolutely fine with her.”

The silence that followed was thick. For a moment, you wondered if you’d said something wrong. Something weird.

“Are you?” Elain asked, her tone sincere.

“Are you?” Mor echoed at the same time, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You shot Mor a glare, but she only raised her brows and sipped her wine again, infuriatingly unbothered. Exhaling, you willed yourself to meet Elain’s gaze.

“I am,” you said, trying for conviction. “Really.”

Elain pursed her lips. Her gaze shifted to Mor, lingering longer than you liked, and then back to you.

“Alright,” she hummed. “I guess I was wrong.”

You stilled. Elain reclined deeper into her seat, accepting a refill from Mor. Her wine glass remained only half-full compared to yours and Mor’s.

Curiosity burned. You leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

Elain furrowed her brows. “What do I mean about what?”

“You said you guess you were wrong. What does that mean?”

Mor’s gaze bored into the side of your face. Any second now, you were sure she’d make some quip about how bothered you were. But you weren’t bothered. Just curious.

Elain swirled her wine, watching the light catch the liquid. “I’m not sure. Things feel off. Like something’s coming. Az needs help with it, I think.”

You froze. “Off? Like—how?”

She hesitated, thoughtful. “It’s hard to explain,” she murmured, her voice quieter now. “But I feel it. In my chest. My visions sometimes do that. That’s why I asked.”

Well, that unsettled you. You glanced at Mor, whose amused grin had fallen into something more contemplative.

It seemed you might need to have a conversation with Azriel after all.

“I don’t like that,” you admitted, your nose crinkling. 

“I think I heard him get back earlier. Go talk to him,” Mor said, her tone gentler now, though a hint of mischief lingered in her eyes. You didn’t read too much into that. Mor’s eyes tended to be expressive. She also tended to be mischievous when her blood was primarily red wine. 

“Okay,” you said. “Maybe just to check in.”

Elain nodded. “Just to check in,” she echoed, almost reassuring.

“Have fun,” Mor added, her grin returning just enough to be annoying, but not enough to distract you from the unease curling in your chest.

You didn’t respond, instead taking another slow sip of your drink. The glass clinked softly as you set it down on the table before you made your way upstairs.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Mor turned to Elain. “Did you really feel something that unsettling?”

Elain let out a laugh. “No,” she said lightly. “I completely made that up. But she doesn’t need to know that.”

Mor’s lips curled into a slow, wicked smile. Seconds later, her head tilted back in a laugh just as vibrant as it was unapologetic.

“Genius,” she declared, raising her glass in mock salute.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

The walk upstairs was quiet.

The townhome, in general, was quieter nowadays. Aside from the times others came to visit—like Lucien and Elain—only you and Azriel lived here full time.

When you reached Azriel’s bedroom door, your steps faltered for a moment. There was a hesitation in you that hadn't existed before. You raised your hand to knock, but the action felt more awkward than usual. It made you sad, momentarily, that you hesitated. You never second-guessed yourself with Azriel. You wanted to tread carefully in this new era of his life, though. You didn’t want to overstep, to become a nuisance. But whatever this was—whatever had unsettled Elain enough to mention it—you needed to know. Azriel had always been a constant for you, and if something felt “off,” you wanted to understand why.

Your knuckles rapped lightly on the door. “Az?” 

Inside, you heard the shuffle of movement, followed by his low, familiar voice. “Come in.”

You didn’t see Azriel immediately, but the smell of soap and the damp air told you that he recently showered. Shadows slithered across the floor, comfortable and excited, exploring the familiar confines of his room.

You greeted the tendrils as you usually did, letting them brush against your legs as you flopped onto his bed. The bed, like everything else in his room, was simple: plain black sheets, no extravagant pillows, just the bare necessities. It used to drive you mad, the emptiness of it all.  But what was in his room spoke volumes—— bare walls except for a dagger mount on one side, a small uncluttered desk with a well-worn sharpening stone. 

Azriel exiting the bathroom pulled your attention, your eyes settling on him as he rubbed his wet hair thoroughly with a towel. He shook his head slightly, wet curls bouncing onto his forehead, and met your gaze. His eyes flicked to where you lay, scanning your body. He nodded toward your feet.

“C’mon,” he almost whined. “No shoes on the bed.”

You looked down at yourself, grimacing as you realized that your shoes were, indeed, on his clean comforter. A simple set of house slippers, so nothing entirely too dirty, but it had completely slipped your mind. Very comfortable shoes, you noted, maybe you’d get Feyre a pair as a solstice gift.

“Oh whoops,” you said with an apologetic smile. “My bad, clean freak.”

He rolled his eyes, but you caught the quirk of his lips anyways.

For a moment, the old sense of comfort settled over you. But then, a thought crept in—the thought that maybe you shouldn’t lie on his bed like this anymore. It had been fine before, but now… now it felt different. He had someone else in his life. It wasn’t weird, exactly, but it was a little inappropriate.

You sat up straighter.

“Did you and Mor grow tired of rehashing the same centuries old gossip?” He teased.

You snorted, watching as his shadows flitted above his shoulders. They were amused, laughing in their own way. “Never,” you responded, pushing yourself off his bed. You were drawn to the otherside of his room, to the simple dresser against the wall. “Elain joined us this time.”

Your back was to him, but you had a feeling that the momentary silence, the stillness that you felt, was a knee-jerk reaction from Azriel—something reminiscent of embarrassment, shame, or guilt at her name. But all he responded was, “Oh?”

“I like her,” you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I kinda wish I spent more time with her…”

You paused, your words trailing off quietly as you took in the small details before you. 

Azriel’s dresser had always been the one surface he decorated, not because he cared for decoration, but because it was the only surface large enough to hold anything. Over the years, it had become a quiet testament to the things that mattered to him: a mix of Solstice and birthday gifts, trinkets you’d both collected on missions and trips. You liked seeing what had changed, what had been added. It gave you a glimpse into where Azriel had been, who had been with him. 

Lately, there had been more—more trinkets, more oddities that stood in stark contrast to the weapons displayed elsewhere, the ones mostly hidden away in his closet. A macaroni necklace from Nyx. A horribly made clay version of him you’d created during a drunken pottery night with Feyre, Mor, and Amren.

But now, the dresser was foreign. The once familiar surface had been wiped clean, replaced by delicate perfume bottles, jewelry that looked too fine to be his, and a candle that smelled—oddly—like the puke of a flower faerie. Some of it was new. Most of it was hers.

Azriel’s presence had vanished from his own furniture entirely.

“Huh.”

“What?” Azriel asked.

You glanced over your shoulder. “I see you’ve decorated more.”

Azriel tilted his head, and a few of his shadows slithered down his body, crossing the room to pool around your ankles. “I guess,” he said. “Selene said my room needed more life.”

You leaned forward, brushing your fingers along the ceramic jewelry dish, the cool surface sending a strange chill through your skin. The shadows flickered over your hand, almost as if they were inspecting it too. They moved with purpose, then slowly obscured it, hiding it from view.

You frowned, confused.

Azriel, still silent, was rifling through his closet. You could feel the weight of his eyes on you as he moved, but he said nothing. The shadows returned to his side as you turned to look at him.

"Are you going somewhere?" you asked, trying to break the silence.

Now, Azriel barely spared you a glance.

“Yeah. Meeting Selene,” he replied simply.

After a few seconds of silence, Azriel turned his head and properly held your gaze. “Why? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you responded with a casual wave of your hand, but Elain’s words echoed in your mind. You cleared your throat. “Well, actually, no. I was hoping I could talk to you.”

He frowned, standing up straighter, his wings flexing with the motion. “Is it something serious?”

You paused, carefully filtering through your words. “No, just something that’s been on my mind.”

Azriel studied you, doubt flickering in his hazel eyes. It was the kind of look that always made you feel like he was reading you too easily. He probably didn’t believe you, not entirely—but he nodded anyway. His lips curved into a small, apologetic smile. “Raincheck then?”

You mirrored his smile, though it felt thin. “Yeah, sure. We can talk tomorrow, once we’re back from the Hewn City.”

Azriel stilled. The way his gaze dropped to the floor and lingered felt like a guilty dog, an animal caught in an act forbidden. “Shit,” he said, his tone cautious. “I can’t go.”

You blinked, the words taking a moment to settle. “Seriously? Az, Rhys is expecting an update.”

“I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere enough. It didn’t matter. “But you can handle it on your own, you know this.” 

“Are you serious?” you said, the hurt slipping out before you could stop it. “I don’t want to deal with Keir alone.”

Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll talk to Rhys, but Selene’s been wanting to—”

“Never mind,” you cut him off, shaking your head. You forced a smile. “Have fun tonight. And tomorrow.”

Azriel scanned your face. After another moment of silence, he sighed.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “You clearly have something on your mind. Tell me.”

You hesitated, holding his gaze. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Selene.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened instantly. He looked away, his tongue running across his teeth as he shook his head. “Not you too. Don’t be like this.”

Your frown deepened, offended by the immediate shift in tone. “Be like what? I haven’t even said anything yet.”

He met your eyes again, his stare almost challenging. “We both know what you’re going to say.”

“Do we?”

“First Mor, then Nesta, and now you.” His voice was sharp, but not loud. “Should I be concerned that the females in my life are so quick to rally against my girlfriend?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms to mirror his pose. “Well, yeah, Az. Maybe you should be.”

He rolled his eyes, the shadows at his feet flickering with the motion. “Fine. What do you want to tell me, then?”

For a moment, you hesitated, the words lingering on the edge of your tongue. Azriel had always been good at looking through you, unraveling thoughts you hadn’t fully formed yet. And now, under the weight of his sharp gaze, you felt exposed.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy.”

Something flickered in his expression, quick and fleeting—too fast for you to decipher. For the first time in a long while, Azriel felt unreadable, like he’d drawn a curtain between himself and you. “Really?” he asked, his tone tight, almost incredulous.

You faltered, a small thread of doubt weaving its way through your resolve. Was he happy? Would he even tell you if he wasn’t?

“Yes, really,” you replied, a defensive edge creeping into your voice. “You’ve been distant lately. Running around at her beck and call. None of us know her. I want to understand what’s going on with you. I want to understand her.”

Azriel’s wings shifted again, his gaze hardening.

“I want to make sure this is the kind of relationship you want,” you finished, quieter now.

The room fell into silence, heavy and still. Azriel watched you as if he was turning your words over and over in his mind. You waited, unsure of what to expect—if anything at all.

“I wouldn’t be in a relationship I didn’t want. Can we drop it, please.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. What a strange, dismissive answer. It bothered you— bothered you more than anything he’d ever told you before. 

“Az, I just don’t want you to change who you are for someone. You don’t need to cater to her every whim.”

His expression darkened, shadows curling tighter around his boots. “I’m her boyfriend. I do what she asks.”

You raised an eyebrow, unable to stop the scoff that slipped out. Azriel had never been so clipped with you. “That’s not the definition of a boyfriend. That’s the definition of a bitch.”

Azriel’s jaw clenched, his wings flaring in irritation. “Excuse me?”  His voice cut through the room. “Do you really think I’m some incompetent love-sick loser?”

“I think you stop seeing flaws in the people you love.”

The words hung between you, heavier than you’d anticipated. A small part of you wondered if “love” was the word Azriel would use to describe his feelings for her. Another part worried that he didn’t correct you.

“That’s not true.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” he snapped. “I can clearly see that you’re being unfair. Quick to judge, much like Mor. That’s a flaw.”

“Oh, please,” you shot back, “You know what I meant. The people you’re infatuated with—”

“Where is this sudden concern coming from?” he interrupted, his shadows now beginning to curl between you like restless mediators, unsure where to settle. “Are you trying to cause issues?”

Something ran hot through your body.

“Seriously? I’m talking to you about this because I care. Because Elain had some cryptic feeling about you—”

“Elain is involved in this conversation, too?” His voice dripped with frustration now. “Gods, Y/n, should I send word for Gwyn while we’re at it? Get her opinion?”

“What the hell has gotten into you?” You took an authoritative step forward.  “I’ve never judged you. I’ve always tried to support you and your messy love life, no matter how complicated. Don’t you trust me, Azriel? As a friend?”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately, his shadows flickering uncertainly, still deciding whether to retreat or rise.

You gestured around the room. “Look at this place. You’ve erased all traces of your family—of you, of us. Where did you even put—”

“Oh, gods.” Azriel’s voice broke through, and for a moment, you thought he might crumble. His wings folded, and his hand dragged across his face, the weight of his exhaustion sinking in. “She was right.”

You froze. “What?”

Azriel met your gaze, his eyes hesitant for a heartbeat before turning sharp. “About you. Selene said you were jealous. That you had feelings for me.”

The words hit like a slap, and your world tilted on its axis. “What?” you asked again, your voice breaking on the word. Maybe you had misheard him. Maybe he had misspoken.

“I told her she was wrong. But now…” He let the sentence hang in the air, searching your face for something that maybe wasn’t even there.

“Now, what?” Your voice rose, tinged with anger. “You think I’m here because I’m jealous? Because I have some… crush on you?”

His wings flared slightly at your tone, but he didn’t back down. “I don’t know. It’s just—why else would you care so much about this?”

Your stomach twisted, a deep, cold ache settling there. “Why else?” you repeated, the words bitter on your tongue. “Because I care about you, Azriel. Because you’ve been my friend for centuries. Are you seriously confused about this?” 

For a moment, Azriel’s expression faltered, but he didn’t apologize. Instead, he said, “I didn’t ask you to care about my love life.”

“You didn’t have to,” you snapped, stepping closer. “That’s what friends do. But you’re standing there, letting her perception of me—someone who doesn’t even know me—warp your judgment. You’ve known me longer than that. Or at least, I thought you did. And the fact that you’d entertain this—” You stopped, shaking your head. “It’s insulting.”

Azriel said nothing. He just stood there, shadows now curling tighter around him. 

You had no idea how this conversation had gotten away from you, no idea how it turned into this—where this defensiveness, this anger, had come from. This wasn’t Azriel. Loyal, overly so. Impulsive. Protective. 

Or maybe it was. Maybe that loyalty was directed at someone else now—someone who clearly saw you as something threatening. You’d never been on the other side of Azriel before. Never thought you’d see the day. The realization hit like a slap to the face, leaving you shocked, stunned, a pit opening in your stomach that felt too deep to climb out of.

“You know what? Forget it.” You stepped back, the fight draining out of you all at once.

Azriel’s brows furrowed. “Really? That’s it?”

You glanced at him over your shoulder, your lips curving into something that might have been a smile if it weren’t so bitter. “Yeah,” you said, your voice flat. “That’s it.”

You turned for the door, hand on the handle, but paused. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them, sharp and pointed, a petty jab that felt equal parts satisfying and hollow. “Make sure to lock this door when you leave—I’d hate to accidentally stumble back in and throw myself at you.”

Azriel stiffened, his wings snapping taut behind him. For a brief second, you thought he might say something, anything. But he didn’t.

You closed the door behind you with a heavy thud.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

authors note: no one tell them they probs have feelings for each other bc they’ll probably fight you (also elains moment is so self indulgent bc i would totally be making shit up based off my powers. like yeah actually you can’t be mean to be :/ powers are saying you’ll die if you are)

part two? 😏 lmk if you wanna be tagged

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[metellastella]

They moved in silence for nearly half an hour. 

So many thoughts occurred to him within that span of time, and then abruptly the socially-attuned man hit upon a speculation about her own experience of the walk. 

“How many sentences,” the rhetorican asked, “would you estimate have occurred to you since we left the house?”

She had clearly heard him, but her gait had not altered one bit, nor gaze. 

It was fascinating how she could almost appear “still” even while walking. 

“Three.” 

His own steps faltered. “Wow. Just three?” 

He fell behind, barely moving.

“An interesting question . . .” 

She did not wait for him to jog to catch up. 

When he was alongside her again with his strides, he continued. “The maximum Words Per Minute record that has been set, attained through typing on a keyboard, is 216. I’ve gotten nearly to 200, when drafting up speeches. Or forum posts. But you know what’s so amazing? I think the mind can spit out words much faster than that. Sometimes when I’m in creative flow, I’m frustrated because even typing can’t keep up with my thoughts. By that calculation, I’ve probably burned through about 5000 words in my mind, just now. I have not hand-written anything since typing was invented. And when I’m in that state, talking is even slower and more frustrating. It’s like the difference between a horse being able to run full tilt down a gently sloped hill, and their rider pulling back on the reins to keep them at a pace. I feel I can never quite take the bridle off.” 

“An interesting coincidence.” 

“Coincidence?” he questioned. 

“One of the traditions that utilizes meditation likens the mind to a horse that disobeys its rider. A horse must be broken in, if you are to avoid it bucking you off.” As she spoke, he observed the words came slowly, fluidly, almost lullingly, and she made no gestures. The ‘stillness’ of her gait prevailed. “Your comparison there is value neutral, but when in a negative mind state, that sort of ‘rapid’fire is overwhelming. For the non-metaphorical horses, there are gentler methods, and more domineering ones. Both the Id and the Ego can wrest control from you, if you are anxious or angry. But the Id is more akin to a bucking bronco, a bull, that will actively charge you or others if it manages to dislodge you from position. The Ego is, in a way, closer to the horse, perhaps will not hurt others so badly, but might kick if it’s directly provoked. Repression is like using spurs. Meditation is like gaining a horse’s trust.”

[bamguetismee]

Phantom Pursuit- YJW

Jungwon is cocky, confident, and easily one of the most skilled world class spies in the world. Nothing seems to bother him and his impulse is his most deadliest weapon. His partner was skilled, capable, and detail oriented- aka you. Something big goes down on an unassuming mission. But little did you know this one mission could change the fate of the world as you knew it.

PAIRING: — Spy Jungwon ✩ Spy reader (f)

GENRE: fluff, she’s angsty TT, slow burn, spy au

WARNINGS: making out, petnames, skinship, slow burn, I hate to say but there is angst, mentions of alcohol, guns, blood, fighting, cursing, near death experiences, mentions of death, dark haired Jungwon!, two ocs , there’s probably wayyy more but idk how to do this

WC: 21.110 words

Yuni Says: hihi, this is my first fic ever. And I mean like on any writing platform. So I’m completely new to writing- pls bear with me. I’ve been lurking on here for a while but I never published anything. I’m not going to be very very consistent with my writing but I will try my best. Pls feel free to chat with me and give me any feedback to improve. But I’m really really excited to start my journey on here!! Comments and reblogs are rlly appreciated. Anyway I hope you enjoy~ bye lovelies

The mission was simple- get into the gala and do some profiling on the high end criminals there. Although there was a stir of something else. Something big was happening at this gala of the underworld. That is precisely the reason that you were standing here. Underneath these opulent chandeliers in this glittering ballroom in Paris. The soft hum of classical music and whispers of the crooked floated through the air. The gala was filled with champagne fueled conversations that some could only decrypt as devious plans. You adjusted the slit of your deep sea blue dress and scanned the room observing the shadowy and mysterious figures. The earpiece buzzed faintly as you picked up a champagne flute from a waiter passing by. 

“Hear anything interesting?” Jungwon’s voice crackled in her ear through the comm system. His annoying voice was smug as always

You suppressed a sigh trying to keep your expression neutral. “If by interesting, you mean potential intel, then no. Just the usual crowd of criminals pretending to be philanthropists.” 

“Come on, ___” Jungwon replied. “You need to lighten up a bit. This is just a profiling mission. Its the easiest one we’ve been on in a while. So just relax and try to have some fun will you?”

“Jungwon no matter how easy this is its a mission. We aren’t here to have fun” you say in a focused manner like always. 

You scanned around the room noticing him. Jungwon was leaning against the bar in his sharp black tuxedo. His hair was slicked back and he had that air of confidence and easiness he carried. No matter how much you hate to admit it, his broad shoulders, lean build, and small waist looked damn good in that tux. His eyes met yours from across the room. They were deep brown and mysterious, yet they still had that longing look. Those eyes that hide a deeper emotion, something that you couldn’t quite decipher. Even after all that training and those missions where you read people to a tee, you still couldn’t quite read him. Yet, those eyes always lured you in and never failed to bring that slight flush up your neck despite how damn annoying he was. And that damn smile. That charming one he gave with both his dimples poking out. It had already attracted two women who were all up on Jungwon. It was pathetic and honestly infuriating how his simple smile had such an impact on anyone. What’s more pathetic is the way your own heart ached in the slightest way at the sight. Now wasn’t the time for that though. You rolled your eyes as you set the champagne down.

“Are you flirting with civilians again??” 

“Would you prefer if I flirted with you instead?” Jungwon teased as he raised his glass in your direction. 

“Focus Jungwon,” you hissed. “We are here for intel, not your dating life” you reprimand him as you eye the host of the party, he was new on the scene and your agency needed more information on said man.

“And yet,” he said, taking a sip of his drink, “I’m the one who’s about to make progress.” 

Before you could say anything in return he had already slipped away from the bar. He excused himself from the two pretty girls who pouted as he said he needed to leave. The criminal was named Bryan Cavellott, he was new on the high end criminal scene. He had made his grand debut by stealing some jewels from a museum in Russia and now rumor says he has something else thats far more important than some pink diamonds. Something so valuable that he had attracted all the high-level criminals in europe to his gala. As Jungwon made a beeline towards the older man with the crisp white suit and shaped beard, he shot you a sly look. 

You narrowed your eyes as you followed him from a distance. You slipped through the crowds as you kept your gaze trained on Jungwon. He had already begun his usual act: leaning in slightly, charming but conspiratorial smile playing on his lips, and a trustworthy tone of voice. 

You spoke through the comm system again, “Don’t blow our cover.”

“When have I ever blown our cover?” he whispered with a confident smile as he made his way closer to Cavellott. 

“Do you want me to give you the list alphabetically or in order of how many times we almost died?”

Jungwon didn’t say anything but the smirk on his face was answer enough. Instead he finally approached the old man. “Mr. Cavellott?” he said his voice smooth. “Quite a gathering tonight. A man like you must have something truly extraordinary to share with us.”

Cavellott’s smile was thin and practiced but it held a hint of amusement too. “Ah, and you are?”

“Jung Park” he said easily, extending a hand. “Investor, entrepreneur, and lover of all things valuable and rare.” 

You groaned into the earpiece quietly as you decided that you needed to make sure Jungwon didn’t get one of his brilliant ideas again. So you approached the two smoothly. 

“And who is your lovely companion?” Cavellott asked, his gaze sharp and shifting to meet yours as you slid up next to Jungwon.

“___ Nakamura” you say with a charming smile of your own. “Jung’s business partner.”

Of course Jungwon couldn’t help but add with a stupid grin, “among other things.” which earned him a well deserved but subtle jab to his ribs from your elbow. 

Cavellott seemed to have deemed you two trustworthy as he openly chuckled enjoying the dynamic between you two. “Well, Mr. Park and Miss Nakamura, I assure you that tonight’s main attractions is unlike anything you’ve encountered before. An artifact of immense… potential.”

Jungwon tilted his head playing along, “intriguing. I assume this artifact isn’t something you can pick up at a local auction house?” 

Cavellott smiled wider. “Hardly. It’s something far more elusive- something that has been hidden for centuries and only recently resurfaced.”

You leaned in slight, your tone cautious but curious. You preceded carefully but you couldn’t help but think- is this what all the stir was about? “Oh? And what exactly makes it so special?”

Cavellott’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of pride and secrecy. “Ah, but that is the question isn’t it? Its value lies not just in what it is but what it could do. That’s what everyone’s here for”

“Sounds dangerous,” you said.

“All things of great power are,” Cavellott replied smoothly. “But that’s why it must be handled by someone who understands its worth. Plus I’m sure a lovely and confident lady like yourself wouldn’t mind a little game of danger?”

You sent Jungwon a quick glance but you both knew what it meant. This was it. It wasn’t just a rumor, whatever this… artifact is, its dangerous and with the way Cavellott is speaking of it- everyone here seems to understand its value. You sent a calm but pleased glance towards Cavellott despite the way your nerves were on edge. 

“And this artifact…” Jungwon said his voice steady but probing, “does it have a name?”

Cavellott’s smile thinned as his eyes darted around nervously before he leaned in closer. “I shouldn’t even be discussing this, but I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later. The artifact is known as the Phantom Codex.” 

The name itself sent a shiver down your spine although your expression remained neutral. The Phantom Codex… it was something significant. The way Cavellott spoke about it was too unsettling itself.

“And what does it do?” Jungwon asked his tone light but calculating. 

Cavellott chuckled lightly but with a hint of knowing. “That, my friend, is the question that everyone here tonight is asking. And the answer… is far more than you could ever imagine.”

Before the two of you could press him any farther a woman on the other end of the ballroom caught his eye. She gave him a sly smile before turning away and walking to the balcony. The challenge in her eye was unmistakable. Cavellott offered the two of you a rushed excuse. “If you’ll excuse me, I must attend to my other guests. Enjoy the evening you two.” 

And just like that he disappeared into the crowd. Jungwon leaned in closer to you, his voice was low and calculating. “Phantom Codex. Sound like the title of a bad action movie.”

“Focus Jungwon.” you snapped back at him. Your pulse was calm but your thoughts were racing. “Whatever it is, people are willing to kill for it. I mean some of these criminals hate each other but look at the way they’re playing so nice tonight. Whatever this is we can’t ignore it.”

Jungown’s playful expression faded as he took on a rare serious one instead. “Then I guess it’s time to figure out who else here knows something about it- and what they are willing to do to get it.” 

You nodded and scanned the room. This always happened to the two of you, not a single mission where the stakes hadn’t risen. You were playing a game where one wrong move could cost you everything, even your life. In this room surrounded by throngs of dangerous people, you knew the importance of this mission.

“Lets split up,” you said, your tone sharp. You gave him one last look over your shoulder. “And Jungwon? Try not to flirt with anyone.”

“No promises,” he replied with a poor attempt at a wink before disappearing into the crowd. Despite yourself a small smile formed on your lips. You just sighed as you shook your head. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The party shifted into a quieter, more exclusive phase as the night deepened. The glittering and glamorous crowd thinned, leaving behind only those with the wealth, power, and influence to justify their presence at this gala in the heart of Paris. You and Jungwon moved through the crowd, your ears sharp, ready to catch any piece of information about this mysterious artifact. 

“Anything?” you whispered your voice barely audible over the classical tunes. 

Jungwon, who was on the other side of the opulent room turned to find your eyes as he smiled teasingly. “A lot of people talking about a lot of things. Art deals, offshore accounts… oh and Lady Pennington’s pomeranian apparently needs a personal chef and maid.” 

You shot him a sharp look. 

“Relax Miss Nakamura,” he teased with a cocky smile as he made his way towards you. “But seriously, everyone’s buzzing about something being revealed soon. I’m betting its our mysterious Codex.” 

You nodded, “we need to find out what it is and when its going to be revealed.” 

As if on cue two men walked by. One of them was some normal small town criminal. The other one though… It was him, Ebony Lloyd. To say that the pair of you and Lloyd had a history would be an understatement. Whenever there was any trouble he was always there. He had a rich history himself… robberies, head of a notorious organization, bomb and arms dealing, drug trafficking. He was a tall and burly man with sleek black hair and eyes of a wolf always searching for his next prey. Of course someone like him was at a gala like this. He didn’t seem to recognize you as he strolled right by. He was talking in hushed tones with the man but you heard bits of what they were saying. Something that sounded like: “Air strip..” “Vienna” “no mistakes this time”. Great- he was on the move again. You would deal with him later, right now the Codex is what mattered. 

Jungwon’s expression soured as he laid his eyes on Lloyd. “Would you look at that? Its our best friend! And he’s conspiring again. I swear he can’t ever keep still for even a few days.” Jungwon sneered quietly as he ran his hand through his styled hair in annoyance.

“We’ll have to deal with him later. Right now we need to find out about the Codex.” you say with a bit of an annoyed expression yourself. 

Everyone’s attention got drawn up to the front as a man strode up onto stage. The conversation died down as the man turned to face the crowd, commanding the attention of the room. He started smoothly and with confidence. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us this fine night. As many of you know, tonight’s gathering is more than a celebration– its an unveiling.” he declared

A murmur spread through the crowd as excitement rippled through the room. 

“The artifact you are about to see,” the man continued. “Has been the subject speculation and legend for centuries. Its origins are as elusive as its true potential. But tonight, it is here, in this very room, for the first time in generations this precious artifact has been unearthed again.”

Jungwon leaned a bit too close to murmur in your ear, “I have a bad feeling about this.” With the shiver running down your spine all you could do was nod. 

Two heavily armed men appeared on stage, wheeling a steel reinforced case onto the stage. The man gestured towards the case with a flourish, his tone turned reverent “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… the Phantom Codex.”

The case opened with a hiss and steam being emitted from inside. There it was.. The ever elusive Phantom Codex. It looked unsuspecting at first glance. Just a small black piece of tech that was shaped like that of a diamond. You had to take a closer look to realize that there were weird symbols and letters etched onto the surface. They didn’t look like any language you recognized.. In fact the looked almost alien. Whats more is that they didn’t seem to ever hold still, they shifted everytime you blinked. The tech emitted an eerie blue glow from the cracks in it as well. It truly was mysterious and a marvel of tech. You couldn’t help but think- how old is this really? Why is this tech so important if its so old?? 

Jungwon’s breath caught too as he looked at the object. As you looked around the room- no one seemed to be able to look away. They all had the same blue glow in their eyes. This small little black diamond had stunned the hardest of criminals as the crowd gravitated towards it. You could see Jungwon lean closer to the stage himself. 

Snapping your finger in front of his eyes you pulled him out of his trance. “Jungwon.” you whispered in a hushed tone. “Stop looking at it. Its like that Codex is pulling you in- like everyone else here.”

He blinked rapidly as he looked around the room like he was finally gaining his senses again. He quickly masked his entrancement, “the only thing pulling me in is you cherie..” He brushed his hand against yours as a little tease. Your heart rate spiked but before you could come back with a witty comment the lights suddenly went out. 

“Stay close,” you say as you place your hand on the hilt of the knife concealed under your dress. Panic rose even more when a deafening shattering sound echoed through the room. Yells and cries followed closely as Jungwon muttered to himself “damnit..”

When the lights flickered on there wasn’t a Phantom Codex to marvel at. “It’s gone” you hissed. The armed men were gone and the man who unveiled the Codex was on the floor, a pool of his own crimson blood surrounding him. 

“We need to move. The person who stole it isn’t planning to stick around for long,” Jungwon rushed as he grabbed your arm. His grip firm but comforting as you two ran through the panicked crowd towards the nearest exit. Cavellott’s men were starting to close the exits. But in a quick series moves you rendered them unconscious as you ran through the gates. 

“Where’d they go?” you demanded, your pulse racing with a mixture adrenaline and frustration. Alas, whoever it was, was long gone. The midnight streets of Paris were completely empty. There wasn’t even a trace of them. “We lost it!” you said, your jaw tight. 

You pulled your hand away from Jungwon as you smoothened your dress out with a look of frustration. Jungwon’s teasing personality dimmed as he placed a warm hand on your shoulder providing comfort in the cold night. “We’ll figure this out. You know we always do,” he said his voice steady despite the tension. 

It was concerning how fast he could manipulate your emotions with just a few words. You unclenched your jaw as you gave him a curt nod. Still though your mind raced. What exactly was this Phantom Codex? Why were people going to the end of the world for that little diamond? And why did you have a sneaking feeling that this was just the beginning??

     ˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Back at their hotel, you sat crossed legged on the bed, a tablet in your lap as you compiled all the information you had picked up- which wasn’t much. Jungwon on the other hand paced around the room with his tie loose, hair messed up with the way he ran his hands through it, and his shirt untucked. It was a sign of his restlessness. 

Reviewing the security camera footage and guest list was of no use. Whoever this was- and you had a suspecting feeling- they were good. They were professional. Not a trace of them anywhere, just a shadow in the darkness. 

“I think we both know who caused all this.” You said with a long exasperated sigh, falling back on the bed with a hand covering your eyes. 

Jungwon groaned as he threw himself on the other side of the bed with the same hatred in his voice. “Ebony Lloyd. I swear when I get my hands on him I’m going to-” 

Before Jungwon could continue his pleasant words a blue light shone from the tablet. The two of you quickly stood up and straightened out your outfits and you slapped the back of Jungwon’s head mouthing to him to straighten his tie before turning the video on. It was a call from your superior, Mrs. Kwon. She chuckled noticing your slightly disheveled appearance. Then Mrs. Kwon spoke with an easy tone, “agent ___, agent Yang. Nice to see you two so relaxed after a mission. Report to me.”

You spoke up first, “quite the opposite Mrs. Kwon. The mission didn’t go as well as we planned.” you say with a slightly ashamed tone but keeping your expressions professional.

“We profiled on Cavellott, but there was something else. The rumors were true ma’am. There was something big at this gala. Its called the Phantom Codex. We think its something we should be worried about” Jungwon reported. It was a bit unsettling how his personality changed to professional and obedient the moment he was under the hard gaze of our superior. What caught you off guard was the way that Mrs. Kwon’s easy and laid back demeanor dropped immediately the moment she heard the artifact’s name. There was some shuffling on her side- it sounded like she moved rooms. 

Her voice came out in a whisper, “the Phantom Codex?? Are you two out of your mind?” 

You and Jungwon shared a confused glance before looking back at her. “No ma’am. It's true. We saw it, it was at the gala tonight. But its gone now. Stolen.” you spoke up your tone sincere. Her nervous expression was making you uneasy. Mrs. Kwon was never nervous. “Ma’am if you don’t mind me asking. What is it? What does do?” 

Her expression darkened as her tone was now dead serious. “Its dangerous. Every single criminal no matter how big or small is pursuing it. It can hack into anything and manipulate data in ways that humans never though possible. Things like government agencies, federal banks, military systems, nuclear codes, databases of civilians of whole countries.” she spoke, her seriousness making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “You two listen carefully. No one. And I mean absolutely no one else should know about this. Is that clear? I don’t care what mission you’re on right now, now your one and only mission is securing the Codex. Is that clear?”

Jungwon could hear her deadly tone too as he gulped softly. You both nodded as she wished you luck before cutting communication. You let your stiff posture relax as you met Jungwon’s gaze. Both of you knew. This wasn’t just some tech, it was powerful, dangerous, and deathly. “I’ve never seen Mrs. Kwon that serious… Something isn’t right.” you observe quietly. You tried to read Jungwon’s gaze but his eyes were too complicated. 

“Well no pressure right?” Jungwon sighed as he leaned back into an armchair his hands behind his head. 

“This is serious Jungwon, did you see Mrs. Kwon??” you shot him a glare as you bristled at the way his posture was so relaxed so easily. 

“I know,” he interrupted, his usual smirk replaced by a grim expression. “And we’re gonna find it okay?”

For a moment your eyes met, a flicker of understanding and something else passed through you. That something else made you look away as you sighed- even with the weight of this serious mission Jungwon’s gaze could make your heart flutter. “Just.. sleep soon. We have a long day ahead of us.” you say as you go to change into something more apt for sleep. 

Jungwon let a faint smile grace his lips as he called out to you from the bed, “aww are you worried for me darling~?” he teased as he watched you come back from the bathroom after changing.

“Shut up. I just don’t want your work to be sloppy Jungwon” you say with an annoyed tone meeting his light gaze with a serious one. Although you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood and tension. You silently thanked him for it before getting under the sheets.

 ˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The morning light filtered through the heavy drapes of their hotel room, neither you nor Jungwon was in the mood for sunshine. The air was thick with tension as you reviewed every scrap of information you had gathered the night prior. 

You sat on the couch, your legs tucked under you as you sifted through endless digital files, recordings, and articles. Your hair was in a messy bun and the cup of coffee in your hand trembled slightly from too much caffeine and not enough sleep. Jungwon on the other hand was sprawled in an arm chair. He had seemed to made the decision to not be bothered by any of the events from last night. It frustrated you a bit that you were here busting your ass trying to find something- anything to help the mission and he just sat there. Tossing a stress ball in the air and catching it with a relaxed motion as if the fate of the world wasn’t hanging by a thread. 

“Geez you’ve been hunched over that computer for hours” he drawled as he caught the stress ball lazily and looked up from his impromptu game, “have you even found anything?”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to be breaking my back for hours if you just decided to help.” you snapped, your patience wearing dangerously thin. 

“Touchy this morning,” he teased as you clenched your jaw with frustration and annoyance. God- you swore he was the spawn of the devil- “what? Didn’t sleep well huh?”

“How could I? With you snoring like a chainsaw the entire damn night??” you spat back your head practically fuming by now. 

“I do not snore”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you muttered scrolling through yet another document. 

Jungwon finally decides that he’s done pushing at your limits. He snickers as he stands up stretching like he had been doing some serious work this entire time. “Well maybe if you used common sense you wouldn’t have to be working so hard.” he stated as you were about at the end of your patience and your hands were itching to grab him by his pretty little neck and- “Vienna. Lloyd. Last night. I have to say- I thought with those witty comebacks I thought you would be sharper ___”

Your expression faltered as your mind raced through last night. He’s right.. Lloyd was there. He was whispering about Vienna and not long after the Codex had disappeared into thin air. It was him again. You sighed exasperated, finally getting up from the couch. You wanted to wipe that smirk off his face- you absolutely despised when he was right, “maybe your constant stupidity is starting to rub off on me. Just stop smiling and pack your bags” 

As he stood up too he moved to stand behind you as he placed his hands deliberately on your waist. His voice was low and smug as his breath fanned your skin, “Whatever you say babe… but just once.. Admit I was right sweetheart.” 

The only response he got was a deathly glare from you and his own yelp as you twisted his hands in an awkward angle behind his back, “try something like that again and you won’t live to see next time you’re right.” you scowled with a dangerous voice as he just grinned like an idiot. 

 ˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The airstrip was alive with activity even in the dead of the night. The soft whine of jet engines and distant echoes of shouted instructions blended with the cold Austrian night. You had surveyed the area already so your movements were calculated. Lloyd had been clear- the Phantom codex was being transported through Vianna tonight, possibly by air. This was your chance to intercept it. 

“We have to move quickly and quietly” you reminded him as you two sneaked through the grounds. You both blended seamlessly into  the dark landscape- just like shadows. 

“I know sweetheart, don’t worry I got it” Jungwon replied and you could hear the teasing smirk in his voice. You groaned internally at the way his sweet nicknames made your cheeks warm. Thank god for the cover of the night. 

As you two approached the dimly lit hangar at the far end of the airstrip, your sharp eyes caught movement- a group of armed men were unloading a sleek black case from a private jet. Your heart rate sped up. The Codex. 

“Bingo,” you whispered, pointing towards the hangar. But before you could say anything further, Jungwon covered your mouth pulling you behind the metal walls of a storage unit. You let out a muffed protest as your eyes widened.

You couldn’t help but notice the way that Jungwon was pressed flush against you. He had you pinned to the wall as he held a finger to your lips. You could hear his heart beat and his warmth reached you through the gear you both wore. His scent was a subtle one but comforting in a way. “Shhh, look-” Jungwon said in a hushed tone as you followed his gaze. There he was. Ebony Lloyd. He was getting off the jet that had been parked in the same hangar from where the codex had been extracted. He had tall burly men flanking both his sides as he made his way to a black van. He was close- way too close. You could practically smell his strong and obnoxious cologne from all the way over here. 

If you two just stayed quiet and didn’t make a sound- CRUNCH!!. Shit. You accidentally shifted against Jungwon as you boots made a small sound on the gravel that was far too loud for the quiet night. Lloyd had a sickening smirk on his face as he made his way over to the two of you. You cursed under your breath as Jungwon stepped away from you, now facing him. 

“Well well, would you look at that? The lovebirds and the world’s most dysfunctional duo!!” Lloyd drawled on as he voice was low and condescending. 

You hated him too- not to misunderstand. But Jungwon had an entirely different fight to pick with him. Lloyd had a way of getting under his skin just like how Jungwon gets under yours. Jungwon was proud no matter how much he protested it. Lloyd had bruised his ego way too many times. You had to give it to him he was smart- that’s the only reason you ever lost. Its because he was always one step ahead. Jungwon detested him entirely. You could already see his rigid body language and clenched fists. Jungwon was practically fuming- this was something both Lloyd and you could see. And Lloyd took great pleasure in it. 

“Jungwon… don’t. He’s testing you.” you clenched your own fists. You knew Lloyd and his love for mind games. But tonight the two of you had no time for his little game. The Codex was right there- so close. 

But Jungwon ignored you. His teeth clenched as he stormed forward before you could stop him. “And you-” he seethed with his eyes cold and hard, “you little bastard. Got your sights on the Codex huh? Needed something more to show off to your pathetic little mistress? Couldn’t please her or your wife?” 

“Oh stop acting so high and mighty jungwon. You can’t seem to win over your pretty little partner’s heart so don’t go insulting my love life.” He chuckled arrogantly. The statement really seemed to strike a chord in Jungwon. “These harsh words aren’t from lingering feelings about Milan right? Or was it Budapest? Or maybe… Dubai? You’ve lost so many times I’ve lost track.” 

“Jungwon no-” you say your voice firm and hard as you eyed the four bodyguards trying to plan your escape. 

But it was far too late. Jungwon snapped. Without a word he surged even closer towards Lloyd. 

“Dammit it Jungwon.” you hissed desperately as you scrambled to follow him. 

The two men collided, Jungwon’s fist connected with Lloyd’s jaw as a sickening crack rang out. The criminal staggered backwards and his bodyguards were quick to react as they rained down punches on Jungwon. You quickly lept into action kicking one of them square in the head while landing an uppercut to another ones jaw. You fired two quick shots incapacitating the other two.  

Meanwhile, Jungwon freed himself only to launch back at Lloyd with more rage than before. But the criminal had more tricks up his sleeve. Quite literally!! He pulled a knife from his coat as they grappled. The fight was taking the two dangerously close to another jet’s running engines. Jungwon’s back thudded onto the flight’s metal body. Lloyd landed another strike but this time slashing Jungwon with his knife- drawing blood. Jungwon was too far gone to care at that moment. Lloyd landed one final cut to his abdomen as Jungwon fell to the tarmac. 

You saw it happed with your own two eyes. The Codex. It had been loaded onto the plane. Lloyd smiled satisfied at the way Jungwon was trying hard to recover. “Jungwon!!” your voice rang out as you lunged for him. You caught him just in time. The two of you scrambled out of the way as the jet made its way down the runway. 

There it was- gone once again, and that too in the hands of Lloyd.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The tension in your vienna hotel room was suffocating. You paced in front of the window, your arms crossed, your face the mask of frustration. Jungwon sat on the bed, one hand on his cut arm and the other on his abdomen, both trying to nurse the gashes on his body. You were fuming and it only added fuel to the fire that your heart was telling you to help Jungwon with his injuries. 

“You completely lost control!!” you snapped instead, whirling around to face him. “We had the Codex right there, and you threw it away- for what?!? A grudge match?”

Jungwon sighed leaning against the the headboard. He was tired and annoyed himself, you could tell. “Lloyd needed to be dealt with. He–”

“He got under your skin,” you interrupted, with your voice rising. “And now we’re back to square one because of your ego!!”

Jungwon met your glare with his expression softening which only annoyed you more.  There was a silence that was filled with tension and something else that was better it remained unspoken. You clenched your teeth as you saw the slight hint of a smile playing at the corner his lips. You scoffed to yourself. Why the hell was he smiling?? You just lost one of the most dangerous artifacts to a notorious criminal. This was most definitely not the time to be smiling. “What???” you snapped at him crossing your arms once again. 

“Hm? Oh nothing.. You’re just really cute when you’re mad.” he said in a matter of factly tone. You hated yourself for the way your brain went blank for a good few seconds. You hated the way your cheeks felt warm and your breath hitched for just a moment.

You groaned loudly throwing up your hands in frustration. “Don’t do that! Don’t try to charm your way out of this.”

“Who says I’m trying to charm you? But even if I was.. It looks like its working- no?” he smirks despite the blood trickling from a cut on his lips. His damn lips that curled up even more when he saw your gaze on them. His damn lips that your just wanted to feel against yours- No!! You weren’t distracted by his idiotically plump, soft, and full lips. 

You shot him a look after tearing your gaze away from his lips. Your sharp retort died on your lips when you saw the gash on his arm and abs. Your frustration warred with concern, but, with a heavy sigh, you grabbed the first aid kit from the desk. 

“Take off the gear” you ordered your voice clipped. 

Jungwon had the nerve to raise his eyebrows in mock surprise. “If you wanted to see me shirtless, you could've just asked babe.”

You shot him another deathly glare as you advanced towards him. The faint pink in your cheeks betrayed you as you made him put down the gauze he had in his hands and took his shirt off. Well I mean- you were just a girl after all. His toned muscles and hard lines of his chest and abs. The slight glisten of sweat and the scars that littered his body were so hot… well shit. “Getting distracted sweetheart?” Jungwon teased. You snapped your eyes back up to his face and made sure your gaze was sharp.

“Just hold still” you muttered, dabbing at the cut with disinfectant. Jungwon winced but he didn’t dare pull away. His gaze was trained on you as you worked with your movements precise and efficient. But your hands lingered on his skin for a few too moments too long. The tension was palpable in the air, the unspoken words and heat between the two of you was at its peak. You met his gaze and this time you could read it- but you didn’t want to. You were his partner it was strictly professional. The way your heart beat way too fast gave you away though.

He sliced the tension with a knife when he uttered your name out softly. It lacked any of his arrogance or its usual teasing edge to it. You didn’t look up. Too scared to see what you find if you looked up again. “Don’t Jungwon. Just… don’t.”

He reached out, his fingers gently brushing against your wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said, and for once he sounded sincere. There was undertones of something else too. “I screwed up.” 

You froze, your breath catching at the unexpected vulnerability in his tone. You shivered at his gently touch, it melted away your anger and replaced it with something warmer, something neither of you could name. You took in a shaky breath as you replied, your voice lacking the earlier bite “you did.” 

Jungwon’s lips curved into a faint smile. “But you’re still patching me up. Guess that means you care.”

You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your moth twitched up- fighting back a smile. “Don’t push it.” you warned but your voice had gone soft. 

You fell into a charged silence, the air between you thick with unspoken words. Jungwon’s hand lingered on your wrist, but for once you didn’t pull away. It was dangerous the way your heart raced at his touch. “You’re too reckless,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

“And you’re too stubborn,” he replies, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before returning to your eyes. At that moment you knew you couldn’t lose him. You hate to finally admit it but it was true. All the times he had risked his life to  save you from near death situations, his stupid jokes that lightened up any situation, and his dumb pet names that made you smile every time. You knew you couldn’t lose him- so the least you could do for all those times was forgive him. Just this once. 

You finished patching up his gashes silently before abruptly standing up. You walked to the other side of the hotel room as you set the first aid kit down once again. It was your pathetic attempt at trying your heart to beat normally once again. You turned back to face him- relieving yourself of the weight of your own gear as Jungwon spoke again. “So just to be clear. You weren’t staring at my lips or my abs right? Because then that would mean that you find me-”

“Jungwon!” you cut him off with a stern gaze. But his infuriating, smug, dimple filled smile still remained on his lips as he just shrugs. 

 ˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

After that night in Vienna you couldn’t stop thinking about him- well you always had him on your mind anyway- but something else nagged at you. This Phantom Codex… you knew what it was supposed to do, but it still had a mysterious aura about it. There was something so elusive about this simple piece of tech, and you were determined to find out what. 

That is exactly how you ended up here. In your shared hotel room with your glasses forming dents on your nose, your hands trembling from too much caffeine, and your eyes had deep circles under them that showed how you had been up for far too long. 

I mean you can’t blame yourself- you tried to sleep. You swear you did. But Jungwon’s words and gaze and touch just wouldn’t let you rest. Jungwon groaned as he blinked his eyes open- the bright light of the screen blinding his eyes. “___? You’re kidding me” he stated in a rough and groggy voice. He turned his head as he squinted towards the digital clock. “It’s five A.M. Did you even sleep?”

“Couldn’t” you replied short and distant. “I was too busy doing your job.”

“Ah, there it is- the sharp tongue of my favorite partner” he said with a smile in his tone as he heaved his body- still marred with the gashes from before- into a sitting position. “Morning to you too, sweetheart”

You gave him a glare over your shoulder, but the deep circles under your eyes betrayed your exhaustion. “Don’t even start with me Jungwon. I’ve been piecing intel while you’ve been snoring away again.” 

“I do not snore,” he insisted indignantly, crossing his arms as he leaned against the headboard. 

“Oh, trust me you do. After all these years of sharing a hotel room, you most definitely do.” You turned back to your screen, muttering under your breath, “it’s like trying to sleep next to a freight train.” 

He just rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed in fake and exaggerated. He watched as you typed away, the sounds of your fingers dancing along the keys an insistent sound in the room. In an amused but concerned tone he prodded, “What are you even looking at?” 

“The Codex.” your voice was clipped. But there was an edge of something else— anxiety and nervousness. “I hacked into one of Lloyd’s encrypted files. I think I found a list of targets who apparently know something about the Codex.” 

He nodded as he shifter closer to look over your shoulder at the screen. “Okay, thats progress. But… why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he questioned carefully. 

Your fingers stilled on the keyboard and your body tensed. You took a deep breath before meeting his eyes, your expression guarded but your voice trembling just slightly, “My… My sister.. Her name is on his list.” you declare. Your brain was a mess even if you didn’t let it show. She was your sister, the few people in this cutthroat world that you loved and trusted blindly. 

The air in the room seemed to thickened. Jungwon’s teasing smirk disappeared as he processed your shaky words. “Your sister?”

“She’s a target,” you said, your voice cracking despite an effort to stay composed. “I don’t know why or- or what they want from her, but–” you stopped, shaking your head as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Scared of just the thought or Lloyd targeting your sister or losing her entirely. “If we don’t get the Codex back, she’s in danger. I can’t– I can’t let that happen” you looked at him with scared and vulnerable eyes. This was the first time you let this happen. The first time you opened up to him. 

He moved closer to you as he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “___, hey. Listen to me.” 

Reluctantly, you lifted your eyes to his.

“We’ll get it back,” he said firmly, his voice steady and unwavering. “I swear to you. We’ll find the Code, and we’ll protect your sister.”

“You don’t understand,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes distant as you thought about the horrifying possibilities of what might happen. “This isn’t just another mission anymore. Its personal.”

“I know,” Jungwon said, his tone softening. “And that’s why we’re going to win this. Because when it comes to you and the people you care about.. I swear to you- I would rather die than fail.” 

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the rare sincerity in his voice. For a moment time slowed and the truth behind his voice rang clearer. The unspoken weight of his words weighed heavy on your shoulders. It was nice. It was nice to know that he would be there, even when times were tough or uncertain. He spoke with a promise that didn’t waver at all. His presence was firm and steady. It grounded you even as doubt filled your mind. You knew that from the countless successful missions you two had accomplished, that with him- anything was possible.

“You’re such an idiot,” you muttered, brushing past the lump in your throat and rapidly blinking trying not to show your vulnerability even more. 

“Then its a shame that you’re stuck with me isn’t it?” Jungwon replied with a smile tugging at his lips. “Now, come on. You need to sleep before you collapse on me.” 

“I’m fine.” you insisted stubbornly, standing up and brushing past him. 

“‘I’m fine’ my ass,” Jungwon drawled, following you despite the pain his body faced when he moved. “Just like I’m the best hacker in this partnership.” 

“You? Hacker? Yeah right- since when??” you show back with your usual sharpness returning to your voice. 

He grinned like an idiot and his dreamy dimples made another appearance. “There she is. I was worried the all-nighter had turned you into a zombie.”

You rolled your eyes but the hint of a smile on your lips was still clear as day. 

Later that evening, after hours of futile attempts to trace the codex’s whereabouts and Jungwon’s incessant nagging, you finally slumped onto the hotel bed, your exhaustion catching up to you. Jungwon walked to you from the kitchen a glass of water in his hand.

“Drink,” he said, holding it out to you.

“I’m fine,” you protested though your voice was hoarse. As much as you silently appreciated his comfort and care, you didn’t need to be coddled by your annoyance of a partner. 

He said said your name in a stern tone of voice that left no room for argument. You sighed but took the glass of water, considering your pounding headache from looking at the computer screen all day, it was the right thing to do. Your fingers brushed his for just a moment too long. “Thanks” you muttered out. 

He sat next to you, his usual cockiness replaced by a quiet concern. “You know” he started, “for someone who calls me reckless, you’re not exactly great at taking care of yourself.” 

You scoffed, “Takes one to know one.”

He chuckled lightly his head shaking at your retort even with the pounding in your head. “Fair.” 

The silence that followed wasn’t really uncomfortable, but it was definitely charged with something you both refused to acknowledge. You stared down at the glass in your hands. Your mind still running in overdrive with worry for your sister, the Codex, and the precarious line that you and Jungwon seem to be walking on. This dangerous pull that lulled you both towards one another that you just danced around. 

“You’re too good at this,” you said your tone suddenly softer and quieter. “At making me feel like everything’s gonna be okay,” you admit with your cheeks warming as you turn your head, avoiding his gaze. You sigh as you continued on, trying to lighten the mood, “I guess there is one single thing that you’re good at. Sweet talking your way out of messes?” 

“Out of messes? Oh please darling- my sweet talking has a much greater purpose- like sweet talking my way into sitting on the same bed as you.” he pretending to sigh dreamily as the sparkle of amusement didn’t leave his eye, “wow~ what an honor.”

This led to you pushing him off the edge of the bed and trying to contain your laughter as he landed with a big thud. He let out a yelp as he rubbed his back, the big boba eyes he gave you only worked on those girls at parties. “How about you start trying to sweet talk your way into me not beating your ass?” you say with an amused but genuine smile. He huffed in defeat as he stalked his way over to the couch. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. 

“Goodnight sweetheart~” you mocked him as he silently flipped you off. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The streets of Tokyo buzzed with life, the neon lights casting a kaleidoscope of colors over the bustling city. The air was filled with noises of children, adults, and automobiles. It was freezing cold in the night and you could see your breath in front of you, coming out in a cold white fog. You trailed a step behind Jungwon, your arms crossed as you watched him survey the surroundings with an air of practiced nonchalance. The two of you made your way to the looming but sleek and modern hotel. Of course it was a five star experience in Tokyo, only the best for the two best agents. 

“You’re unusually quiet,” Jungwon remarked, glancing over his shoulder at you. You couldn’t help but groan internally at the situation. And also at the fact that no man should look that ridiculously good with his hair messy and blowing in the wind. 

“Just trying to figure out how we ended up in this situation,” you muttered with annoyance as you shifted the bag on your shoulder. 

“Acting like a couple?” he smirked, pushing the tall glass door open for you. “Don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying it.”

You stepped into the threshold with a sharp glare pointed at him. You had to hide the fast pace of your heart somehow, “You’re delusional.”

The hotel lobby was elegant and the chandelier shimmered in all the hotel’s elegance. The ambient lighting and soft jazz music filled the space. You took note of the huge glass windows that could be a possible threat. The receptionist looked at the two of you with a practiced smile which widened when she laid eyes on Jungwon. You didn’t really know why but it made you roll your eyes. 

“Reservation under Park and Nakamura,” Jungwon said in his usual arrogant and cocky tone of voice. You couldn’t help but be more pissed at his voice but also find it a bit endearing as well. It was something you looked up to, he had a certain way with his words and it always worked somehow. 

“Ah yes of course, I’ll be sure to get your bags up to your room. Anything else you needed help with?” the girl at the desk batted her long eyelashes at Jungwon and it made you annoyed even more. Why, though? It's not like you had some weird feelings for your idiotic spy partner or something. 

“Oh no that’s quite alright, me and my boyfriend can carry our bags up to the room ourselves.” you smiled at her patronizingly. You had to try really hard to ignore Jungwon’s stupid smirk as you lugged the bags to the elevator.

“Boyfriend? Staking your claim sweetheart?” he asked smugly as he struggled to carry the bigger bag towards the elevator. “Besides, why did you stop her?? Now we have to break our backs trying to get these bags into our rooms.” he said as he huffed, putting the bag down for a second to catch his breath. 

“Did you want her to discover the Glock 19 stowed in our bags?” you asked in a mocking tone. You didn’t know exactly why you were so on edge from just a simple look Jungwon had received, but you felt as though from recent events.. You and Jungwon had started to walk down a dangerous path that none of you were ready to acknowledge. 

You opened the lock with a bit more force than necessary. The hotel suite was spacious, with a panoramic view of the Tokyo skyline. But your heart truly dropped as your bags slipped out of your hands when your view zeroed-in on the centerpiece of the room. The king-sized bed. You shook your head immediately as you spun to face his already wide grinning face. “No way. Absolutely not. There is no way in hell I am sharing that.”

Jungwon with the most aggravating smile quirked one of his eyebrows, “What’s the problem? Afraid you’ll be tempted?” he asked with a hint of a laugh in his voice. 

“In your dreams,” you shot back. You were not just about to expose yourself completely by sleeping in the same bed as him and then failing miserably to contain your idiotic emotions. No damn way.

“I’m just saying,” he said as he tossed his bags to the side. He jumped onto the pristine sheets, ruining them completely. “We need to look convincing, even in the hotel. The staff might be watching.”

You scowled. He was right, you both were well aware of the fact that Lloyd had his men lurking everywhere. “Fine. But if you so much as cross to my side of the bed, I swear-”

“Relax,” Jungwon interrupted, his hands up in a mock display of surrender. “I’ll stay on my side of the bed. Unless you wanted me to-” 

“Don’t finish that sentence.” 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You two were in Tokyo just because Mrs. Kwon had heard some rumors of the Codex here. There wasn’t any real evidence, but Mrs. Kwon was desperate. So for now the two of you just had to lay low and try to find anything more about the whereabouts of the dangerous piece of tech. That's the reason you couldn’t quite wrap your head around why Jungwon was parading the two of you around the hotel with his hand resting gently on your waist. Well you couldn’t really wrap your head around anything at the moment with how Jungwon’s fingers were softly brushing against your skin. “Remind me why I agreed to this?” you sighed as you forced the warmth in your cheeks to retreat.

“To keep up appearances sweetheart,” Jungwon whispered with his tone low and teasing, as his thumb rubbed absent minded circles on your skin, which only made your mind spiral even more. He had insisted that being stuck in your room all day reviewing the same five documents wouldn’t do you any good. So now you are here doing ‘bonding activities’ with your despised partner. 

“I’m going to kill you one day,” you murmured through a tight lipped grin. 

“Is that a challenge princess?” Jungwon asked a bit too loudly as you passed the receptionist once more. For some twisted reason this gave you satisfaction as you continued walking through the lobby. You couldn’t resist shooting her a devilish glance. 

Still though, you forced yourself to keep up your act. “Lay it on any thicker and they’ll drown in it.” you hissed through gritted teeth. 

You spent the entire rest of the day ‘bonding’ with Jungwon. But it was the small moments that caught you off guard. One of them was when you two were playing pool. He insisted that your posture was just offensive to the game. So he made a show of holding your arm as his strong chest pressed against your back. His breath lingered on your neck as his other hand rested on your waist once again. “Like this sweetie,” he muttered, his voice deep and velvety, as he paid no attention to the pool, his eyes only on your face, as if trying to memorize every little scar and contour. Your heart and mind were both unwell. They were working overtime trying desperately to process any of what was happening. 

Another time he had you on your toes was when you were mid reach about to strangle him. The two of you were spending time in the arcade and as both of your personalities would permit it. The competitive streak was at another level entirely. So you were at your wit’s end when he interrupted your focus again as you concentrated on smashing the moles wherever they popped up. You had given him a fair amount of warning but you were running out of patience and points because you insisted on a rematch every time. A couple had strolled in and they were just about to take in the sight of you committing homicide. But before you could move you were pressed back against the machine with your arms unknowingly wrapped around his neck. “Play along if you don’t want to get caught ___.” he whispered, tightening his grip around your torso. You tried not to let the hammering of your heart and heat in your skin give you away. 

The moment the couple had left you pushed him off but the smirk on his face didn’t budge. 

When dinner came around you two had decided to eat at a fancy restaurant. But you cursed Jungwon as he smiled smugly at you. Obviously he was the center of attention for everyone there, so you couldn’t even curse him out without blowing your cover. He was taking full advantage of it though. “Say ‘ahh’ babe~” he cooed, holding up the spoon to your mouth. You rolled your eyes discreetly before you let him feed you. But before he could get too smug you sharply stepped on his foot from under the table. After all, you couldn’t let him think you were succumbing to his stupid flirting. You hid the smirk behind a glass of wine as you sipped it innocently while he glared at you from across the table.

It was late at night now. Even the beautiful city of Tokyo had dimmed its lights and gone to sleep. But you and Jungwon just couldn’t rest. Mrs. Kwon wanted answers and she wanted the Codex even faster. But after Jungwon had tired you out the entire day, the documents looked like they were from some other alien language. Your eyes were half lidded and bleary from the need to sleep. 

You were just about to reach for the jug of coffee when Jungwon’s own sleepy voice called out to you. “Absolutely not. Hands off. Do you want a caffeine overdose?” he asked as he got up and took the jug away from you. You let a loud whine fall from your lips as you shot him a glare. You hate when he was right. But before you could shoot back at him with a snarky response, it all happened.

Both of you heard the footsteps from outside the door. Your head snapped up mid scroll. “Did you hear that?” you asked in a hushed whisper. The two of you were already in action though. You shoved the important files, weapons, and gear into your bag. Jungwon tossed you your gun as the two of you crouched behind the bed. The footfalls of the people outside were far too heavy and far too deliberate to be of normal guests. 

“How did they find us??” Jungwon hissed as he reloaded his gun quietly. The footsteps paused and you took a deep breath before the chaos started. 

The explosion rattled the room as the heavy wooden door came flying down. Splinters flew across the room like shrapnel, and you barely managed to miss the lamp that flew past you, shattering on the ground. 

“Down!!” Jungwon yelled as the hail of bullets followed quickly. He dove towards you just in time before the air filled with gunfire. 

Lloyd’s men poured into the room by the dozen. Their movements were swift and calculated but you two were like a well oiled machine. Nothing could stop Jungwon’s instinct and your precise aim. 

Jungwon fired the shots, taking out the lead man with two clean hits to the chest. You rolled out from behind the bed, your gun steady in your hands as you aimed at the intruders. You picked the men off like birds on a wire, one by one with deadly accuracy. 

“Left!” you shouted, and Jungwon pivoted, shooting the man who was trying to flank you.

“Nice call,” he said, his voice tight before he ducked for cover again.

You didn’t respond., your focus entirely on the men in front of you. One of them charged at you, his gun jammed, but you dropped him like a fly with one well placed kick to the chest, before you finished him off entirely with a shot. 

“Watch out!!” Jungwon’s voice cut through the chaos and you turn just in time to see a man tossing a grenade towards the center of the room. 

Your heart froze. You thought this was the end. 

But Jungwon was faster.

He lunged, grabbing your arm and pulling you against his chest as your back hit the wall of the far corner of the room. The grenade exploded a second later, the blast shaking the entire suite. Glass shattered, furniture splintered, and a cloud of smoke and debris filled the air. 

Your ears rang, and your vision blurred with tears as you struggled to breathe through the dust. You realized your head was pressed against Jungwon’s chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. When you looked up to see his distressed expression it's like you were looking at an angel. The sparks and gunshots whizzed behind him, there was a bleeding cut on his cheek, and his heart was racing. But in this life threatening moment all you could see was him. 

“Jungwon…” you said, your voice barely audible over the ringing in your ears. 

“I’m fine,” he said, though his voice was strained. But in all the chaos, you could see the bullet that was lodged in his arm. He grimaced as he moved to shoot more men that tried to advance.

“You’re hit,” you said with a trembling voice as the sight of his blood made you sick to the stomach. 

“It’s nothing,” he replied, wincing as he moved, pulling you up to your feet. “We’re not done yet.”

More men surged into the room, but your initial shock and fear quickly transformed into fury. God when you got your hands on Lloyd… You grabbed your gun that had slid out of reach when the explosion rattled. You fired with precision, covering him as he pressed his hand to the wound. He winced at the sight of his own crimson blood as you shot down three more men. The room was a mess of bodies, blood, and debris. 

“We need to move!” you shouted, helping Jungwon up as he grabbed the bag. 

Jungwon scanned the room. The floor was unstable because of the explosion, more of Lloyd’s men just kept filling in through the door, so the only escape was.. “Window,” he said. 

You both ran towards the large glass pane just as another explosion rocked the suite. Jungwon kicked out the window, the glass shattered into a million pieces. “Out,” he ordered.

“What abou-” 

“Now!!” 

You hesitated but still climbed onto the narrow ledge. Jungwon followed, his movements slower but determined despite his injury. You both got out just in time before another explosion rocked the building. The rain was pouring down in sheets. The slick surface of the ledge made every step even more treacherous than the last. But you two made your way to the emergency fire escape. 

You two raced down the long dangerous steps as you covered Jungwon, shooting at the men who tried to pursue and pulling Jungwon when bullets whizzed onto the metal of the staircase. As soon as you were on the wet pavement, your hotel room burst into flames. 

Bullets licked your heels as you narrowly avoided death, making a run towards a bike parked on the side of the road. You immediately got to work, hotwiring the bike as fast as you could. While Jungwon clutched his arm but still covered you with fierce determination. 

“Get on!” you yelled, though you couldn’t hear much over your heart racing in your ears. You and Jungwon quickly sped away into the maze of streets. You rode like a maniac, avoiding cars by just small fractions of millimeters. The shouts echoed behind you but before Lloyd’s men could even rev the engine of their cars, you were gone. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The rain still lashed against the window of the safe house, the dim light of a single lamp casting long shadows across the room. The air was quiet but filled to the brim with tension. You sat on the edge of the couch, your hands tightly clasped in your lap. Your mind swirled with worry. Your sister’s face flashed in your thoughts- innocent, unsuspecting, completely unaware of the danger the Phantom Codex posed to her. She was a high ranking government official, both of your lives were forced to be kept secrets from each other. Yet the bond you shared with her was unbreakable and eternal. And she was only in more and more danger, if anything, the ambush today showed just how open Lloyd was being with his attempts. It showed… just how ruthless he could be. 

And Jungwon… he had risked his life, gotten shot all for you. He sat across from you, his injured arm freshly bandaged after extracting the bullet and disinfecting the wound. His posture was more relaxed, the chaos had taken a toll on him too but he handled it like it was a normal Tuesday. His eyes watch you, sharp gaze softened by concern. 

“You’re too quiet,” he said finally, his voice breaking the heavy silence. 

You looked up at him, your lips pressing into a thin line. “What do you want me to say, Jungwon? That I’m fine? That everything’s okay?” you shook your head, your hands tightening into fists. “Because it’s not. My sister is in danger, we just got ambushed by Lloyd’s men, and you–” your voice caught and you looked away.

“Me?” Jungwon prompted, leaning forward despite the strain it put on his arm. 

You couldn’t live with the thought. The horrifying thought that… you could have lost him. You stupid, idiotic, funny, loyal, and annoyingly handsome partner. How could you live with yourself if his dimpled smile wasn’t there to brighten any situation? How could you live with yourself if his grounding presence wasn’t there to calm you before missions? How could you… live without him? 

Your voice was trembling now. “You could have died. Do you even understand that? If you hadn’t pulled me away from that grenade–” you cut yourself off, exhaling sharply. 

He whispered your name, but you wouldn’t hear it.

“No, let me finish,” you said, your voice rising. “You threw yourself in harm’s way without even thinking, and I–” you buried your face in your hands, your body quivering like you had been reduced to some little girl- not a world class spy. “I can’t lose you. Not like this. Not when we’re so close, and when I still–” 

He was in front of you before you could finish, he was crouching despite the sharp pain in his arm. He placed his hands gently on yours as he pried them away from your face. You met his gaze and it was sharp, like he could see to the depths of your soul.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice steady. “I’m not going anywhere. Do you hear me? I’m right here, and we’re going to get that Codex. For your sister. For you. For us. But you’ve got to stop thinking the worst, or you’re going to drive yourself crazy.” 

Your lower lip quivered but you nodded still. He was trying his hardest to comfort you, so despite the gnawing fear and doubt in your mind you believed him. Because when he was here with you, it felt like nothing in this world was impossible. Your eyes shimmered with tears, you refused to let fall, “You can't keep scaring me like this Jungwon.”

“I’ll try,” he said, his signature smirk softening into something more vulnerable and sincere. “But I’m not going to apologize for keeping you safe.” 

You stared at him for a long moment, the weight of his words sinking in. He had done what he did, to protect you, he put his life on the line because he cared for you. Then something inside you broke– no, shifted. Before you could process what you were doing and meticulously overthink the consequences, your hands gripped the front of his shirt, and you kissed him.

It wasn’t soft or hesitant like the previous brushes of affection the two of you had. This kiss was deep, desperate, and full of the emotions that they two of you had buried for years. It was full of that desire that the two of you had danced around for so long. Your fingers curled tighter into his shirt, as though afraid he might disappear. He responded just as fiercely, his hands coming up to cradle your face, careful to avoid the still-tender bruises. 

You couldn’t pull back from him- not until your last breath. Just like he had stood by your side promising to protect you till his last breath. But you had to when the air in your lungs ran out. Your forehead rested against each other as your breath came out in pants, mingling with his in the quiet room. 

“I can’t lose you Jungwon.” you whispered out between pants. And this time when you looked into his deep brown eyes, you could finally decipher what they said. They declared his love and fear of losing you. But this time you didn’t dance around it. You faced the emotions head on, because now you finally had someone to love. 

“Don’t get all mushy on me now sweetheart,” he said with a hint of his signature smirk in his voice, that now seemed to be something you could rely on no matter what. 

Whatever this is, it isn’t perfect- far from it. But it's something that has been inevitable since you first saw the black haired man with his big boba eyes. And for a moment the tension lifted, and neither of you pulled away. You two stayed like that- close, vulnerable, and finally honest. It wasn’t easy and it definitely wasn’t perfect but it was real. And you knew that whatever came next, you would face it together. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Whispers of the underworld led you to this shining city. Monaco. But it wasn’t a whispering voice that had threatened you. No- Lloyd’s voice was firm and dangerous. ’You think your petty little agency will be able to protect your precious sister? I know where she is, I will get her- so have fun with your little lover boy while it lasts.’ and that's when the radio message had cut off. 

Your agency was keeping your sister in lockdown. Apparently she knew something about a key? The key to unlock the Phantom Codex. Not just Lloyd but every criminal was racing to find her. You weren’t naive though. You knew there was only so much the agency could do. Criminals had their resources and they would stop at nothing for power. 

That’s the reason your body was so tense as you leaned against the railing of the balcony. The shimmering city with its population of only the world’s most elite was alive this evening. The luxury and sports cars were lined up in front of the Casino de Monte Carlo. You had a clear view of the location where the Phantom Codex would be held. Lloyd apparently hadn’t let it out of his sight since the moment he got his hands on it. He had kept moving so no one could track him and steal his prized possession. Tonight he was here, and you had your sights set on it. Lloyd had no business with your sister and her information about the key if he didn’t have the Codex itself. 

You practically jumped out of your skin when you felt his hands snaking around your waist. You grew even tenser before letting yourself bask in the way his lips moved slowly down your neck towards your shoulder. You weren’t accustomed to his affection but you had to say you weren’t complaining.

“You’re tense sweetheart,” he murmured when his mouth was right next to your ear. His breath fanning your skin, sent shivers down your spine. 

“You were there Jungwon, he’s threatening her. My sister’s life is on the line..” you say as you stop his roaming hands. You had a really important mission to complete tonight. But he looked so damn irresistible when he stepped in front of you with the top buttons of his shirt undone, his sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and his smirk on his pretty lips. 

“Baby, you have to trust that the agency will do their part,” he said as his hands remained on your hips, his thumbs tracing small soothing circles. 

“You know that bastard Jungwon. He has the resources and the nerve, if we don’t get the Codex this time then its not only going to be my sister-” 

Jungwon rested his hands on your cheeks as he tilted your head so you looked him in the eyes. “Hey. We’re not losing. Not yet. And not ever. You’ve got me, okay? I won’t let anything happen to her– or you.”

The rational part of you wanted to argue, to remind him that you’d already failed too many times, but the way he looked at you, so steady so sure. It made the rational side of you crumble as you believed his promise. Before you could say another word, he leaned down, pressing a soft reassuring kiss to your lips. 

You stiffened in surprise once again, still not used to this gentler side of Jungwon. It was worlds apart from the cocky, aggravating partner you had grown used to. And yet, you resolve softened as you kissed him back, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips when he pulled away.

“I’m telling you, I should be handed an award or something- no normal person can get you to shut up as fast as me,” he teased, his familiar grin returning. 

You rolled your eyes but the faint color in your cheeks gave you away. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, you kissed me anyway.”

Before you could retort, the shrill beeping of the burner phone you’d been using for intercepting communication interrupted you. Jungwon let his hands drop from your cheeks as he grabbed it. His face grew serious as he watched the small screen. 

He held up the phone for you to see, “Lloyd is on the move,” he muttered, snapping the phone shut. “Looks like our Codex is on the move too.”

You nodded, already slipping into your professional mode. “Let’s go.” 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The two of you were past all of the excitement and precarious bets of the casino, instead you were pressed behind a pillar. Lloyd and another criminal seemed to be having a meeting, maybe an alliance over the most powerful artifact in the world?

The air was filled with quiet but incriminating chatter as the two gave practiced smiles to each other. This was obviously going to end badly. So you planned to get the Codex and slip out before either of them noticed it was gone. It was almost time that the two powerful men would get up from the table to move to the bar. There was a sliver of opportunity when the Codex would be brought out by one of Lloyd’s men. Like you mentioned before- he wouldn’t let it out of his sight.

That would be the prime time where you could steal it right out of his dangerous hands and he wouldn’t even know till much later. That was the plan. The easiest, most simple plan. But there went Jungwon, with his killer instinct.

Right as the two men were about to move to the bar, some idiot criminal from the smaller leagues decided to get involved. You almost jumped in joy, this was perfect. All the focus was trained on that idiot and you and Jungwon could just slip in, get the Codex, and get out. You turned to tell Jungwon about the new plan- but when you turned to face him he was gone. 

You cursed internally, you knew this would happen. Jungwon and his instinct, his need to do the right thing, his stupid moral compass. The criminal’s legs shook as he realized what a grave mistake he had made storming into the lion’s den. Jungwon though, didn’t seem to see the bigger picture. He stepped out from behind the marble pillar, his gun poised, he shot the two bodyguards that had the criminal in their grasp. 

The criminal made a run for it but now the bullets rained onto you two. You forgot all about the Codex, in your mind now only one thought rang clear. Protect Jungwon. You lunged for him, pulling him back behind the pillar to shield him from the shower of hurt. 

The men started making their way up the stairs but you were too fast. You grabbed Jungwon’s hand and pulled him behind you as you two ran for the window. The fall hurt, but not enough to forget the imminent danger the two of you would be in if you stayed here for any longer. You made a run for it and Jungwon wasn’t far behind. You were already fuming, this lead was very hard to find. It might even be your last one. Your last chance to protect your sister… After today’s events you knew Lloyd would try even harder to get to your sister. He didn’t want anything to hinder his progress to harness the power of the Codex.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

In the hotel room you were done. You had worked night and day for that lead, for what?? For Jungwon to help some charity case of a criminal? The tension followed the two of you inside like an unwanted guest. Every inch of you was radiating fury. Jungwon walked in behind you, quiet for once, knowing that the storm was about to hit. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” you snapped, spinning around to face him. Your voice was sharp and your eyes set ablaze. “What were you thinking, Jungwon?!?”

He sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “I couldn’t just leave him there. He would’ve been killed.” 

“And because of that, we lost the Codex. Again!” you shot back, your voice ringing. The fear of losing your sister was becoming far too real for your liking and right now- the only person to blame in your mind was Jungwon. “Do you even realize what’s at stake here? Do you even care?”

“Of course I care!” he said, his voice finally rising to meet yours. “But I’m not going to stand by and watch someone die if I can stop it.” 

You laughed bitterly, throwing your hands into the air. “Great! You’re a hero. Congratulations!! Meanwhile Lloyd’s probably halfway across the world with the Codex. And you say that you can’t stand by and watch someone die?? Well that’s about to be my sister, and while you play the hero, I can’t even be there to save her life!” 

Jungwon stepped closer, his jaw tight. “You think I don’t care about your sister? About the Codex? About you?”

“Actions speak louder than words Jungwon,” you said, your voice trembling with anger. “And your actions tonight told me that you’d rather play savior than focus on what actually matters.”

“Don’t you dare,” he said, his voice low and dangerous now. “Don’t you dare stand there and act like I don’t care. I’ve been right here with you, every step of the way. I’m the one who pulled you out of that explosion last week. I’m the one who's been patching you up after every mission.” 

“And I’m the one who’s trying to keep us focused,” you snapped back. “You think I don’t see how reckless you are? How every time you're the one lets something slip, who makes us lose our lead?”

Jungwon took a step back, your words hitting him like a physical punch to the gut. “I’m doing my best, ___” he said, his voice quieter now but no less tense than before. “I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.”

“Trying isn’t good enough,” you said, your voice cracking. “We take so many lives everyday, it's our job. But you couldn’t let this one criminal die?? Even when my sister’s life is on the line??!” 

There was a long pause, the weight of your words settling heavily between you two. 

“You think I don’t know that?” he said finally. His voice was painstakingly raw. “You think I don’t feel that pressure every second of every day? That I don’t know if I screw up one more time, it’s all over?” 

“Then why the hell do you keep screwing up?” you asked, your voice breaking now. You knew you were being unfair but you couldn't really bring yourself to care at the moment. 

Jungwon looked away, his hands clenching at his sides. “Because I’m human, ___. I make mistakes. And yeah maybe I let my heart get in the way sometimes, but I’m not going to apologize for that.”

You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “Your heart? Is that what we’re calling it now??” 

“Yes,” he said firmly, stepping closer again. “Because whether you want to admit it or not, I care about people. I care about you. And I’m sorry if that gets messy sometimes, but it's the truth.”

You froze, your breath catching. He cared… he cared for you. For a moment, you looked like you might say something but instead, you turned away, pressing your hands to your face. Rubbing your temple in frustration. 

“This isn’t about me,” you said after a long pause, your voice muffled.

“No, it’s not,” he agreed. “It’s about us. About the mission. About everything we’ve been through together. And if you think for one second that I don’t care as much as you do, then you don’t know me at all.”

You dropped your hands, turning back once again to face him. Your eyes  were glossy, your anger had faded away into something more vulnerable. “I don’t know if I did the right thing. I don’t know if kissing you was right. And I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” you said quietly. 

Jungwon was stunned for a bit, but he spoke again, his voice softer now. “You can. And you will. Because you’re the strongest person I know. And because I’ve got your back, no matter what.” 

You shook your head, a stray tear escaping and slipping down your cheek. “You could’ve died tonight Jungwon. And for what? A stranger?”

“No, for doing the right thing.” He said simply.

You stared at him for a long moment, your emotions warred within you. Your undeniable care and love for Jungwon, and your worry for your sister and the millions of lives at stake. Finally you sighed, your shoulders slumping. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

“Then don’t say anything,” he said, stepping closer and gently reaching out to take your hand in his own. “Just trust me. Please.”

You couldn’t help the way your breath hitched yet again at his touch. You didn’t pull away, but you didn’t look at him either, closing your eyes and breathing slowly. “I’m tired of losing, Jungwon.”

His grip on your hand tightened. He felt some hope flicker within him. “We’re not going to lose. Not you, not your sister, not this mission. I promise you.”

You finally opened your eyes and met his eyes. They were desperate and apologetic. Your heart made your gaze soften and the tension eased for just a moment. But just as fast, you pulled your hand away, your brain taking over now. You were never too good at thinking with your heart anyway.

“Get some rest,” you said, your voice steadier but colder now. “We’ve got some serious work to do.”

You could almost see his heart shatter. But he didn’t say anything, he just watched as you walked farther away. Farther away from whatever you two had started, farther away from his grasp, farther from these complicated emotions. He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. 

“Good talk,” he muttered to himself before slumping onto the couch, the weight of the mission— and your fractured partnership– weighing heavily on him. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You woke up in a daze as the incessant ringing of your laptop startled you out of your subconscious. You groaned as you sat up, the digital clock showed 4 A.M. You heaved your laptop from the bedside table and opened it. It showed a contact that looked suspiciously like… your sister??

You were suddenly wide awake as you accepted the call. “Hello? Sora? Is that you..?” you whispered. It looked like your sister, but her surroundings were dimly lit and she looked pale. Concern shot up inside you. “A-are you okay? Where is the agency keeping you?”

She was breathing hard, she looked around agitated, “Hey sis, slow down slow down. I’m okay- but I don’t have much time. I found something… about your Mrs. Kwon.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, Mrs. Kwon? Well she had been acting a bit on edge but this was a huge mission. Your voice wavered at her cautious tone and your chest tightened. “What’s wrong? And Sora, where are you? Did something happen?”

Sora hesitated before whispering, “I’m okay, I’m escaping from where the agency kept me. But Mrs. Kwon.. she’s planning to use it for herself.. I heard her talking about how the Codex would give her leverage over every agency in the world. She’s going to blackmail people, threaten them, and use it as a weapon to gain power. She doesn’t have the right intentions and she’s a dangerous woman with all that power already.” 

Your mind reeled from the information, “No… that doesn’t make any sense. The agency, we’re supposed to stop people like Lloyd, not become like him. Mrs. Kwon hates people like him. She.. she wouldn’t do that.” But you knew that she could pull something like this off. Still.. It hurt. It hurt to finally find out that the organization you dedicated half your life to, thinking you were helping people, it actually was all a fluke.

Sora saw the confusion and the pit that was forming in your stomach. She sensed it through the screen. Her voice broke slightly. “I don’t think you know what’s really happening, _____. You can’t trust them, you can’t trust anyone. Please be careful. I’m scared for you.”

You swallowed hard, your throat tight. Still you manage to give her a reassuring smile that seemed uneasy anyway. “I’ll figure this out, Sora. Stay safe okay? I’ll take care of myself, I promise, and I’ll protect you too no matter what.” 

Sora nodded and returned your smile before the screen went dark. You sat frozen, still stunned at the revelation, your mind spinning. The betrayal felt like a knife twisting in your gut. How could the place- no, the person you put so much trust into stab you in the back like this?? It was done, years of your life had been wasted away but you wouldn’t let Mrs. Kwon do this. You wouldn’t blatantly let her harm innocent people. In two quick actions, you grabbed the burner phone and took out the chip, crushing the feeble metal in your hand. Betrayal burned in the pit that had formed in your stomach, you would stop that crazy lady. No matter what.

You pushed open the adjoining door to Jungwon’s room. He was sprawled out on the bed, his chest rising and falling steadily, the faint glow of the moonlight casting soft shadows on his face. For a moment your breath hitched, he looked so peaceful, so ethereal, almost like an angel- but the memories from a few days ago started to rush in again. Your gaze went from starstruck to cold once more as you stepped closer to his bed. 

“Jungwon,” you said quietly, but he didn’t stir. 

You took a step closer as you gently nudged his shoulder. “Jungwon, wake up.”

He groaned as he rolled over to face you. His eyes were still closed though. “_____, if this is about my snoring again-”

“Get up,” you snapped, your voice cutting through his grogginess. How could he be talking about his obnoxious snoring right now?

He blinked up at you, his confusion quickly replaced with concern when he saw your expression. He was so attuned to your feelings… “What’s wrong?”

You crossed your arms, your jaw tight. “Sora called. She overheard something about the Codex and Mrs. Kwon.” you say as you sigh softly, the dread and betrayal still fresh in your mind.

Hearing about the Codex woke Jungwon up completely. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his expression serious now. “What did she say?”

You hesitated, your voice quieter now. God- even you couldn’t believe it yourself. “Mrs Kwon, she doesn’t want to destroy the Codex. She wants to use it— for blackmail, for power. Everything we’ve been through, risking our lives…. It's all been for nothing. It’s a lie Jungwon.”

Jungwon was shocked for a moment just as you were. His mouth opened but no words came out. You could see the gears turning in his head. Despite your recent… differences, you knew he had risked his life for it too. You knew he had been through what you had for the Codex. He felt the same way you did. He ran a hand through his hair, his brows furrowed, “are you sure about this?” 

“She overheard it directly,” you say as you start pacing around the room, feeling restless. “And she told me not to trust anyone. Not the agency, not anyone.” 

He leaned back against his hands, exhaling sharply. “Well that’s just great. So, we’re completely on our own now? I mean we can’t just go back there and ask Mrs. Kwon to stop being evil nicely right?”

You rolled your eyes at his childish words, you stopped pacing to shoot him a glare. “Pretty much. Which means we need to figure out what to do next.” 

Jungwon observed you carefully. Your shoulders tensed, your eyes absolutely refusing to meet his voluntarily, and your not so gentle bite of your lip. “You’re still mad.” Jungwon voiced, softly.

You turned away from him but your shoulders were still tense. “Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

“Hey,” he said, his voice impossibly softer now, “I get it. I messed up. But right now, we’ve got bigger problems than my poor decision-making skills.”

“You think I don’t know that??” you snapped, spinning to face him. The fire now present in your eyes as you met his. “But I can’t just pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. You almost got us killed for some random criminal. And now Sora is out of any semblance of protection because of our stupid agency.”

He stood up. His expression was unreadable but a hint of determination lingered in his eyes as he approached you. “You’re right. I screwed up. But if there’s one thing you should know by now, it's that I’m not going to give up. Not on the mission. Not on people. And definitely not on you.”

Your breath hitched, damnit, he was making those stupid unnecessary nagging feelings bubble in your chest. But you quickly looked away as you spoke in an ice cold tone. “Don’t do this. Don’t make this about us Jungwon. This is about the mission. About Sora. About—”

“This is about everything,” he didn’t back down. Instead his tone was firm as he continued. “And whether you like it or not, we’re in this together. So, you can stay mad at me if you want, but I’m not going anywhere.” 

You clenched your fists. You hated this, the way you even had to choose between your anger and the comfort his words provided. But even after all of what had happened- you could never bring yourself to hate him. “Fine. But don’t expect me to trust you like I used to.”

“I’ll earn it back” he said easily like it was the simplest thing in the world. His gaze never faltered either. And as much as you hated to admit it, in this uncertain time you were glad to have Jungwon there. At least you knew you had someone who would never tire of you. Who was there even if he made your blood boil.

You held his gaze as you challenged him silently. But he never backed down.. He never gave up on you. You broke away from his eyes as you sighed deeply. “We need a plan.” 

Jungwon nodded. “Then let’s make one, yeah? Together.”

You didn’t respond but still silently sat down at the small desk to start mapping out your next move. You couldn’t help but glance at him from the corner of your eye. For all his flaws, you knew one thing for certain— Jungwon would fight for you, for Sora, for this mission. And no matter how angry you were, part of you couldn’t help but feel grateful for that. 

After destroying the chip in Jungwon’s burner phone too, you both sat down with your own laptops. It was time to dig, for a lead, for a radio message, for anything that would help.

It took a while, but after multiple hours of trying to find something- anything a lead popped up. Lloyd had become sloppy with one of his radio messages. He had said something about going underground for a while. His estate in Russia, no one would be idiotic enough to penetrate his heavily guarded and almost unreachable mansion…. Except the two of you of course.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The storm raged over the sprawling Russian estate, casting an ominous shadow over the towering walls and wrought iron gates. Lightning illuminated the sprawling mansion, its sharp spires cutting into the dark sky. Dark walls with crawling vines seemed to threaten and ward off anyone who dared to enter. Icy rain poured down in sheets as it soaked through the gear that adorned your body. The sound of thunder masked the faint rustle of movement as you and Jungwon crouched in the dense shadows near the perimeter. 

“This place screams ‘villain lair’” Jungwon mutters, his breath annoyingly warming up the back of your neck. He adjusted the hood of his black jacket against the freezing rain.

“Focus,” You said sharply, your voice barely audible over the wind. You didn’t spare him a glance, your gaze fixed on the towering structure ahead. More specifically on the armed men who were about to exchange shifts in just a matter of minutes. 

Jungwon sighed, casting a sidelong glance at you. “Wow you sound like you’re going to bite my head off. Personally, I think you should wait until after we grab the Codex to kill me, yeah?”

You didn’t respond. Pressing on to the side entrance you were going to infiltrate. It didn’t help that this was the most important mission of your life. The Codex was finally in your sight again. Not to mention that Sora was still on the move. No place was safe for her as long as the Codex was at large. It was also absurdly hard to get here after you had gone MIA from the agency. Mrs. Kwon seemed to have gone crazy because she stopped some of the most important missions to employ the agents to search for you and Jungwon. 

But what was worse was the ever annoying tension. It was cold and biting like the air that howled around you two. You didn’t like to say that you held a grudge, but your anger still lingered like a storm of its own. And though Jungwon tried to break through it with his normal flattery and charm, you wouldn’t budge. Not yet. 

You moved once again the moment the men turned their backs to change shifts. Stopping by the gate, you pressed yourself against the wall as you were met with the high tech digital lock. “This is it,” you whispered as you nodded to the door. The lock looked a bit advanced but it's nothing you couldn't handle. You knelt as you connected your hacking device into the lock. Your fingers were steady despite the icy rain that soaked through your gloves.

Jungwon knelt beside you, watchful eyes scanning their surroundings. “Still can’t believe you stayed mad this long. You know, if we die here, it’ll make for a tragic love story.”

You shot him a glare for bringing your personal relationships (or lack thereof) into the conversation. “If we die here, it’ll be because you can’t stop running your mouth.”

Not even a minute after the lock clicked. You pushed the door open and closed it just as the next guards arrived for their patrol. 

The interior of the mansion was cold and dark, the air heavy with the scent of damp stone and expensive leather. You moved in silence, your footsteps muffled by the thick carpet as you made your way towards the vault. You had to snicker at the hideous pictures of Lloyd that decorated the walls. Him in nothing but leopard fur, him showing off his (nonexistent) muscles, one with two girls fawning over him, and yet another where he was sitting on a pony?? Goes to show just how self centered he was. 

You kept your focus sharp as you two sneaked silently towards the vault. You were blatantly ignoring how Jungwon’s presence at your side felt like both a comfort and an annoyance . You couldn’t afford to be distracted right now anyways. 

Jungwon, for his part, stole glances at you whenever he could. The tension between you was eating away at him. He hated the thought that you didn’t trust him anymore. He thought about this every time, but today it felt more real. This mission could be your last, and he would hate to have that happen with you still angry at him. 

The vault was hidden behind a bookshelf in one of the many studies this estate had. You had thoroughly researched beforehand. There shouldn’t be any people in this part of the estate right now. You turned to Jungwon abruptly as both of you got in place. Your tone was just the slightest bit accusatory as you gave him an unreadable look. “Once we are inside, you know the plan. No distractions, no detours.”

“Understood boss,” Jungwon said, his hands raising in mock surrender. The two of you tugged at the two dark blue books on each side of the study. There was some mechanical whirring behind the door, as it opened with a hiss. The huge metal vault sparkled at you, just the menacing door stood before you and the Codex now. 

You ignored the jab and turned back to the vault door. It was protected by an intricate keypad and a biometric scanner. You pulled out the small device again as you started working once again. The gloves you wore would bypass the scanner no problem. 

“Time’s ticking..” Jungwon murmured, his ears on high alert for any sound outside the closed study door. 

“Almost… there” you said your voice tight with concentration.

The lock disengaged with a heavy click, and the vault door creaked open. Inside, the metal room glimmered with Lloyd’s wealth. Gold bars, stacks of cash, priceless artifacts, ancient jewelry, huge jewels. But at the center of the room, bathed in the glow of a single overhead light, was the long behold Phantom Codex.

The codex was exactly as you had remembered it. How could you forget the piece of tech that had basically ruined your life anyway? Obsidian black, diamond shaped, etched with glowing cerulean symbols. It seemed alive, faintly humming as you listened carefully. You had to shake your head so you didn’t get entranced like everyone had at the gala in Paris. 

“There it is,” you whispered, your breath catching.

“Finally,” Jungwon said, carelessly stepping forward. But before he could even take a single step closer the floor detected his weight. In an instant, lasers shot from the walls as ear blasting sirens rang through the sound of the storm. 

“MOVE!!” you shouted, as you dodged the lasers skilfully but Jungwon beat you to it. He snatched the Codex from the pedestal. 

“I’ve got it, lets go!!” he yelled as the both of you could hear the thunder of the probably hundreds of guards all swarming to your location. 

You both made your way outside the study. You could taste the adrenaline as the window in front of you taunted you. But this time you would do it. This was your escape, your victory. 

Jungwon ran as fast as he could, his focus was on the window just the same as you. The pounding of boots and shouting of the men spurred the two of you to go even faster. You were just a few steps behind him.

That’s when you stopped. The bullet flew through the air as you felt time stop. Your eyes darted to Jungwon’s retreating figure, then to the guards that grew closer. The bullet pierced your abdomen. You felt the stinging pain, not from the blood that stained your gear– no. It was from the realization that this was it.

Still you didn’t care. Jungwon had secured the Codex, he would do what’s right. And you had to protect him no matter what. Instead of running to Jungwon, you turned your back to him. Facing the absurd amount of guards that closed in onto you. For Jungwon. 

But while you tackled one guard to the floor, you knew it. There were way too many. You still placed a kick to another one as they surrounded you. You were sloppy, your movements too slow. Another guard grabbed your arm as suddenly, someone else lifted the butt of their rifle, bringing it down onto your back harshly. You felt pain through your entire being as you inevitably blacked out, watching the window shatter just like your freedom. 

You fell unconscious. Your body crumpled.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Jungwon jumped through the window. The glass shards cutting his face as the rain immediately greeted him in the courtyard. He clutched the Codex tightly against his chest. He turned back, adrenaline and victory coursing through him. He expected to see you, standing victoriously beside him. That satisfactory smirk gracing your lips anytime you both succeeded in a mission. 

But his heart dropped. There was no sight of you. He felt his blood run cold as his chest felt like it was caving in on him. No! This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t feel the tears stream down his face because of the rain that poured down onto him. 

You were captured. Gone from his protection into Lloyd’s demonic hands. His hands shook as he held onto the Codex. He promised himself that he would get it for you. But not like this. Not at this cost. “DAMNIT!!” He yelled your name as his brain finally caught up with the events happening. 

Fear for you clawed in Jungwon’s chest, but more than that white hot rage burned through him. So much so that it threatened to consume his whole being. The what-ifs of what Lloyd could do lingered in his mind for just a moment, but they disappeared the moment he imagined you at that bastard’s mercy. His hands clenched and his jaw set as he stared back at the estate. No rational thought in his mind. He couldn’t think of anything else– didn’t want to. The mission, the Codex, everything else blurred into insignificance. You were all that mattered.

Jungwon moved through the stone halls like a man possessed. He was soaked to the core but he didn’t once shiver. He let himself think with his instinct and his instinct alone. Something you probably would have reprimanded him for. But it was his instinct that was guiding him to you. 

The guards who crossed his path didn’t stand a chance. Anyone who dared to move towards him was struck with precision and speed. His movements were raw and fueled by a fire that burned hot inside him. A punch to the throat, a kick to the ribs, a quick disarm— he left them crumpled in his wake, barely sparing them a second glance. 

The Codex was clutched tightly in his hand. The dark obsidian surface shone with rain. Every time some stupid guard tried to grab it, he twisted away, taking them down before they could make a move. Like the big burly men were some flies he needed to flick away. 

He was there, he was at the inner sanctum now. He was breathing hard and his gaze deathly. His focus never wavering.

The room where you were being held was flanked by at least ten guards. They stiffened at the sight of Jungwon, their weapons raised. But the sight of his gaze and rigid form struck fear into their hearts. 

Jungwon didn’t slow down. “Get out of my way,” he growled out. His voice was low, dangerous, and shaking with rage.

The guards still stupidly didn’t budge. 

Jungwon lifted the artifact that they all were after up high. “If you idiots don’t move. I’ll destroy this thing right here and now.” 

The threat worked. The guards exchanged glances. Debating if they should really move and face Lloyd’s wrath or Jungwon’s. One of them moved and the others followed. Their eyes showed uncertainty but watching Jungwon move swiftly they knew they would have been done for if they hadn’t. 

Jungwon almost broke the heavy wooden door down, his heart pounding as his eyes immediately sought you.

The room was dim, the occasional burst of lightning illuminating it. It was freezing cold and Jungwon observed how there were no guards inside. You were on your knees in the center of the room. Your hands tied behind your back in a rough grip that would leave your wrists red. Your hair was damp still, plastered to your forehead. But your expression remained fierce. Your head held high despite the position you were in. You refused to give in to Lloyd no matter what.

Your heart leaped in frustration and unbelievable relief as Jungwon burst through the door. It was so damn frustrating that he had done this, risked his life and the lives of so many others just for… you. Only for you. You couldn’t help but observe how rigid his form was. The moment he lifted his head to look at Lloyd, it scared you. You had never seen him this uncontrolled, this angry. 

Lloyd was stood behind you with a gun pressed to the back of your head. His face split into a wicked, wide, mocking grin as Jungwon entered the room. The Codex sparkling blue in his grip.

“Well well,” he drawled, his voice oozing amusement. “The knight in shining armor returns. I must admit, I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to come back for your little girlfriend.”

Jungwon’s gaze was locked on you. His fury only heightened once he saw how Lloyd was holding you at gunpoint. He shook his head as he straightened up. “You don’t understand what I’d do for her.” he said his voice barely audible but full of anger.

“Jungwon!! NO!!!” you shouted, finding your voice once again. “You shouldn’t be here!! Take the Codex and go!!” The shout made your bullet wound in your abdomen sting with unbearable pain, as you gritted your teeth.

Lloyd chuckled, amused by the little display. He menacingly nudged the barrel of the gun into your skull. “Listen to her boy. She’s smarter than you are.”

Jungwon ignored the both of you. His expression was hard, no one could tell what ran through his mind. His focus was entirely you. The grip he had on the Codex tightened. “Let her go, Lloyd!” 

Lloyd almost laughed. He raised his eyebrows “and what position are you in to make that demand? Besides, why would I do that?? She’s quite the leverage. You hand over the Codex, or I blow her pretty little brains out.”

“Jungwon!!” you said in a warning tone, a certain urgency in your voice. “Don’t. Don’t give it to him. It’s not worth it. I did this so you could escape!! SO GO DAMMIT!!”

Jungwon’s heart clenched at the barely masked fear in your voice. His mind still pissed that you cared more about the stupid artifact more than yourself. How could you be so blind? You had to have known. To Jungwon, nothing mattered but you. “You want the Codex? Fine. Take it.”

“Jungwon no!!!” You yelled in vain.

He strode across the room and without hesitation, Jungwon tossed the Codex across the room. It landed at Lloyd’s feet, and the bastard’s grin widened. 

“Ah~ the hero sacrifices everything for the damsel. How predictable.” Lloyd kicked the Codex aside and turned his evil eyes toward Jungwon again. “But you’re a fool if you think this ends well for you.” 

He cocked the gun.

Jungwon moved before Lloyd could even think to pull the trigger. 

With lightning speed, he lunged forward, grabbing a knife from his belt and throwing it with deadly accuracy. His fury at its peak, his vision completely red. The blade sank into Lloyd’s shoulder, forcing him to drop the gun and stagger back with a howl of pain. 

You fell forward as the gun was wrenched away from him, landing hard on the cold stone tiles. 

Jungwon couldn’t see anything but rage. He was already on Lloyd, tackling him to the ground and landing a flurry of punches. The sickening sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the empty chamber. The only other sounds being Lloyd’s groaning and Jungwon’s labored breathing.

“THIS IS FOR HER!!” Jungwon growled loudly, slamming Lloyd’s head into the floor. The crack of his skull was loud and clear, but Jungwon didn’t seem to hear it. “For all the people you’ve made suffer. For everyone you’ve hurt. For everything you’ve done!” 

Lloyd was done. He was lifeless, his body limp but Jungwon didn’t stop. Jungwon didn’t think of any intel, of what use he could have been. All he could think of was slamming his skull into the floor over and over and-

“Jungwon stop!” your voice cut through his haze of rage.

His eyes seemed to finally refocus as the anger slowly dissipated. His heart clenched when he looked over his shoulder at how you were struggling to your feet, your hands still bound. 

“He’s done..” you said in a soft whisper. “We need to go.” 

Jungwon’s chest heaved as he stared down at Lloyd, who was lifeless. After he scowled at him, his eyes narrowing, he nodded and stood. Pocketing the gun that laid close to Lloyd. He picked up the damned Codex before making his way towards you.

No words were exchanged between the two of you as Jungwon untied your hands with surprising gentleness. Considering how angry he had just been it was astonishing how he handled you like a porcelain doll. The moment that your hands were free, you threw your arms around him, burying your face into his strong chest. You felt an inexplicable amount of relief and warmth as you were finally able to wrap your arms around him once again.

“You… you’re an idiot, Yang Jungwon.” you whispered, your voice shaking as Jungwon felt you wet his jacket that he wore. He hugged you back tightly. His hands wrapped around your whole body as he pulled you close to him. You cursed as the pain shot up in your abdomen once more.

He immediately pulled back as his hands rested carefully on your hips, “___?? What’s wrong?” he said with big boba eyes that showed nothing but concern. 

“I’m okay won, just got shot.” you told him, the smile on your face looking like an idiotic grin. The tears still shone bright in your eyes. You ran your fingers through his soft locks as your eyes darted trying to memorize every single detail of his beautiful face.

“Just???-” he was about to tell you off, when the door flew open. The remaining guards poured into the room, guns drawn and shouting commands in Russian. 

You and Jungwon immediately broke apart, your instincts kicking in. Jungwon reached for Lloyd’s gun in his pocket while you ducked behind him, your sharp eyes scanning for an opening.

“We’re not out of this yet,” Jungwon muttered, his tone laced with a mixture of irritation and exhilaration.

You smirked at him despite the chaos. The dynamic between you two undeniably felt right again, “thought you liked dramatic exits.”

Jungwon tilted his head, just barely dodging a bullet that whizzed past. “That I do.” 

Jungwon fired a few warning shots wildly into the air. Forcing the guards to take cover as the two of you darted for the hallway. The storm still raged outside but there was a hint of blue skies not too far from the gray clouds. Thunder rumbled as the pair of you sprinted through the sprawling mansion. The ache in your abdomen was still present but you could bear it, because the taste of freedom was too sweet. 

“You could’ve reminded me about the cavalry!” Jungwon called out over his shoulder as you rounded a corner, narrowly avoiding another group of guards. 

You scoffed, breathless but focused. “I didn’t think you would be stupid enough to actually throw the Codex to Lloyd, but here we are.”

Jungwon laughed, his sweet stupid laugh. It rang out in your ears the sweetest melody you’d ever heard. “Anything for you babe! You know that.”

You couldn't afford the butterflies raging within you, but god you couldn’t stop them either. Just like the foolish grin that spread across your face. 

The hallways seemed endless, a labyrinth of opulent decor and deadly ambushes. Guards spilled out from doorways, but you and Jungwon moved in a seamless unit. You kicked a marble bust, sending it crashing into the path of the pursuers, while Jungwon threw his knife that found its mark in another guard’s leg.

Finally, the mansion’s main entrance came into view, its grand double doors flanked by a pair of guards. You didn’t slow down one bit though, your mind racing. You didn’t have a plan sure, but you had Jungwon and his killer instinct. “Left or right?” you hissed at Jungwon.

“Both,” his eyes twinkled as he veered right.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the burst of joy as you saw the look in his eyes. You darted to the left, sliding low as you kicked one guard’s feet out from under him. Jungwon tackled the other, knocking his weapon away before landing a solid punch to his jaw.

The doors were pushed open by the two of you as the storm had seemed to ease up a bit. Rain still softly pelted you as you bolted down the stone steps toward the row of motorcycles parked outside. You flipped off the estate in the background, the grin not leaving your face. “HA!! You bastards!!” 

You let out a breathless laugh as the two of you mounted the Kawasaki Ninjas. You grinned at Jungwon, for the first time in a while feeling the thrill of freedom and success. “How’d you know I’d have these ready?”

Jungwon revved the engine, smirking at you, “Because you’re you.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means you're crazy detailed and brilliant as hell.” 

Your stomach flipped at the unexpected sincerity in his tone, but there was no time to dwell on it. The two of you sped off into the night. Kicking back gravel and mud in your wake. Shots were being fired into the air but you were too far from the estate to worry about any of that. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The cool night air softly tousled your hair. The two roaring engines fell silent as the bikes came to a stop at a beach by the road. The two of you were far off the path of the storm and far enough away that Lloyd’s men weren’t catching up anytime soon. The air was biting at your skin but still it was calm. The only sound was the rhythmic crashing of the waves. The scene in front of you was truly breathtaking. Gray sands giving away to dark waves. Except the fact that the waves weren’t as black as they seemed. On occasion as some of them crashed onto the shore, they lit up to be an azure blue. Bioluminescence graced the waves curves and foam. 

You had time to think. And while on the ride here you contemplated. Jungwon had done something foolish that had no guarantee of working out. But by some godly will it did. You couldn’t help but be just a bit pissed that you risked your life for him just for him to save you in the end. There was a small part of you that said to tell him off for it. Now that you were past the rush of adrenaline you could think clearly once more. 

Jungwon had hopped off the bike shaking the water out of his hair. You couldn’t help but stop and stare for a second as he looked angelic. The moonlight illuminated his pale skin and the moon itself shone bright in his eyes. It’s like he was struck by the beauty of the moon. His broad shoulders tensed when he looked at you. Standing with your arms crossed and an unreadable expression on your face. 

“I hope you know I’m not letting you off the hook. That was stupid what you did.” You say trying to sound stern but there was no real bite to your voice. 

“I heard you loud and clear the first time.” He said with a chuckle leaning casually on his bike. 

You huffed at his nonchalant attitude as you strode towards him. You poked his chest hard. “You threw the Codex at Lloyd like a fool! Do you realize how reckless that was?? You-“

“Saved your life?” He interrupted. His hand laced his fingers with yours as he leaned in closer. His voice dropped to something deeper, more serious.

You were frozen in place. It’s like your brain shut off once again when his hand was grasped in yours. He was way too close too. You could see the soft shadows so his eyelashes and his deep dimple poked out as he smirked. You opened your mouth to say something but the words died on your lips. He was right, he had saved your life. Again. You hated when he was right- you were supposed to be the smart one. You stared at him as your heart pounded for reasons you couldn’t entirely blame on anger. 

“You put the entire world in danger,” you whispered, as if saying anything louder would break this perfect moment. “For me.”

His smirk softened into a smile as he brought his other hand up. Tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. His hand lingered for just a moment too long. He stared at you with so many emotions you couldn’t decipher them all. “Baby… you are my world.”

Your breath hitched. You were rendered completely speechless. The only sound was the waves beating on the shore and the thump of your heartbeat. The petname, the way his hand was still in yours, the way his eyes softened just for you. You didn’t think anymore, letting your instincts take over. Just like he would have done.

You grabbed him by the collar of his jacket as you stared into his moonlit eyes before your gaze landed on his lips. You shoved him against the side of his parked bike.

“You’re impossible.” You muttered, but the way your lips twitched threatening a smile betrayed your resolve. 

“And you love it” jungwon managed to shoot back. His grin faltered the moment you pulled him down by his collar. 

Your lips met in a collision of fire and fury, a kiss born of unspoken emotions and pent-up tension. It wasn’t soft or tentative; it was deep, desperate, and raw. The way your mouths moved in sync like they were trying to make up for lost time. The kiss was sure and firm. 

His lips were soft, plump, and pillowy just as you had remembered them. You couldn’t lie and say that you hadn’t missed him. The way he slightly smiled into the kiss. His tongue darting out to trace the outline of your lower lip.

His hands found your waist. Making sure to be extra careful that he didn’t irritate the wound on your abdomen. But the way he slightly tightened his grip when his tongue finally entered your mouth, he was holding on like you might slip away again if he lets go.

Your hands were in his dark and damp locks as your knuckles curled around his soft hair. You tugged slightly, earning a low groan from him that vibrated against your mouth. The sound makes shivers run down your spine. 

You pressed him harder against the bike. Your body molded to his in a way that felt like you were trying to crawl into his skin. His hands roamed over your back as he traced soft patterns, grounding you like an anchor in the moment.

“Jungwon-“ you whined when he pulled away for a breath. The sound only made him cup your cheek as he angled your head while he went in again. You couldn’t resist whimpering against his mouth when he caressed your cheeks with so much tenderness you could melt. 

It wasn’t just a kiss— it was a release, a declaration, an unspoken promise. The world faded into the background, nothing seeming to matter more than the two of you right now. It only left the two of you, connected in a way that felt inevitable. 

When you finally pulled apart, your breaths came in ragged gasps. Your forehead rested against his and your hands remained on his shoulder. You looked into his eyes. And you knew this was right, you’d never felt anything more intense than this. You needed Jungwon and the way he stared right back at you, you knew he needed you too.

“You drive me up a wall Jungwon. Don’t ever scare me like that again.” You whispered. Your voice breaking.

Jungwon chuckled softly as he ran his thumb over your cheek with love in his eyes. His own breathing uneven, “no promises.”

You stayed like that for a few moments. Wrapped up in each other. Just enjoying the other’s presence and touch. But you stepped back slowly, your hands trailing down Jungwon’s built chest before falling to your sides. Your gaze dropped to the object that stuck out of his pocket— the Phantom Codex, its dark, intricate surface glinting in the moonlight. 

You slipped it out of his pocket. Staring at some stupid piece of tech that almost ruined your life and the lives of many more innocent people. The blue hue that it exuded along with the faint whisper of the symbols moving were almost trying to convince you to stop. But without hesitation you held it up in the air before slamming it against the asphalt with all your strength. 

It was done. The Codex shattered into a million pieces, shards scattering across the sand. The sound echoed briefly before being swallowed by the night. 

You straightened your posture as you turned to Jungwon. It was gone. Your sister was free and Mrs. Kwon’s evil plan had come to a halt. Your eyes were a mix of joy, fierceness, and determination. 

“It’s over.” You stated simply.

Jungwon nodded, a small, proud smile tugging at his lips. He slipped his hand on your shoulder as he pulled you close once again. His lips brushed against the crown of your head. “It is.”

You had to gasp softly as the horizon began to blush with the first rays of dawn. Jungwon’s arm fell as he stared in awe at the world slowly emerging once again from the embrace of the night. The golden light stretched over the waves, illuminating the water in hues of pink and gold. The storm had long passed, and the gentle breeze carried the salty tang of the sea. The world was quiet, peaceful. 

You felt the breeze nip at your skin as you hugged your arms around yourself. Jungwon noticed and he silently draped his jacket over your shoulders. You glanced at him, your lips curving into a small smile you didn’t bother hiding. 

“You’re really laying it on thick aren’t you?” You teased, still pulling the jacket closer. 

“Can you blame me?” Jungwon replied with a grin. He stepped closer to you standing by your side with his hands in his pocket like he wasn’t just making out with you a minute ago. “It’s not everyday I get to watch the sunrise with the love of my life who happens to be the woman who also saved the world.”

You tried to hide your blush but it crept up on you anyway. Your smile softened as your gaze returned to the horizon. The rising sun painting your face with warmth. You looked like you were glowing to Jungwon. But even with the warmth your thoughts were heavy. “We didn’t save the world- there is no saving it. We just stopped it from getting worse.”

“Same difference,” Jungwon said lightly. “And we’re not done yet.”

You nodded, your eyes scanning the open sea that stretched in front of you. “We’re on the run now. The agency won’t stop hunting us”

Jungwon smirked. Hid confident aura returning, “let them try princess. We’ve outsmarted Lloyd and destroyed the Codex. What’s a few corporate nerds?”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t suppress the laugh that escaped your lips. “You really don’t know how to take anything seriously, do you?”

“Not true,” he said, stepping even closer as his voice softened,. “I take us seriously.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked away desperately trying to hide the blush and idiotic  grin that threatened to break. “Don’t get all sappy on me now.”

“Too late.” He grinned , reaching out to brush some hair out of your face. “____, we’re free now. No rules, no lies, no one pulling the strings but us. We can make a real difference, fight the way we want to fight.”

Your expression shifted, the weight of his words settling over you. For years, you had operated within a system that used people like tools. Simply sacrificing lives for power plays. Now, standing here with the man who had saved you from danger and yourself multiple times, you felt the stirrings of something your prior life hasn’t allowed: hope. 

The sun crept higher. It’s light washing away the remnants of the night, and with it, the shadows of your past.

“If we are going into this chaotic world of crime, corrupt organizations, and horrible people. I’m glad you’re the one I’m doing this with.” Jungwon said suddenly. 

You could hear your heart beating in your ears as you grinned like an idiot. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me Jungwon.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as you took him in again.

“No one I’d rather be with,” he whispered, his lips brushing against yours. 

It was morning now. The sun had finally risen. The path ahead was clear despite the dangers that lurked at every turn. The rays washed both of you in warmth as your lips met for the nth time. Your life had only just begun, and it was going to be a wild ride. 

[darlingdaisyfarm]

Billford x Reader cuddles fluffee💕♥️💕

Ford and Reader fall asleep on the couch together after a really long day of working on the portal. Bill comes in possessing Ford, but Read has an absolute DEATH GRIP on Fords body, and they won't wake up either, so Bill is just stuck there, forced to cuddle against his will! The horror!!!

(and he definitely likes it more than he let's on, because let's face it, Bill NEEDS a hug-)

──★ Bill Cipher’s guide to suffering: step 1, get hugged ִֶָ࣪☾.

Ford x reader x Bill, sfw, fluff

thank u for this request hun, that's such an interesting idea to write! ♡

It’s late, too damn late to be functional. The portal project is relentless and tonight it swallowed both of you, brilliant scientists, whole. You’re tired. So tired you can’t remember the last time you blinked without feeling your eyes burn, so here you are, curled up on the couch with Ford. He’s warm, his arm rests on your waist, holding you. You could stay like this forever. No portal. No equations. No endless parade of chaos. Just you and him, your lovely smart genius. However, you think vaguely that this couch was never meant to hold two people like this, his broad shoulders, your tangled legs, but the thought slips away as soon as it arrives. You’re too tired to care.

Ford murmurs something half-formed, your name tangled with numbers, probably some nonsense that only makes sense to him. Again this portal. Honestly, you barely hear it, through the fog of half-sleep, all what you hear is the soft hum of his voice while his chest rises and falls with each breath.

“No, Ford, you need to rest.” you smile against him, because he doesn’t really need to finish this tonight, does he? It can wait. Your arms tighten around his waist, pulling him closer, hoping he’ll get the hint.

He doesn’t.

“But the portal—” he starts and you cut him off with a sleepy hum, nuzzling your face against the rough wool of his sweater. It smells like him and the faint chemical tang of whatever experiment went wrong today.

“Shhh,” you drag the sound out as if you’re trying to soothe a restless cat. “just. . . stay. For a little while. Please?”

He doesn’t argue, too tired, just as you. For the first time in the whole exhausting week, he lets himself relax with a quiet sigh. Finally. You close your eyes. Yeah. This is better.

Some hours later, Ford’s body stiffens beneath you before going still again. Then again he jerks under your hand, his muscles twitching and you frown, your brows knitting together as you pull him closer.

“Ford, it’s fine. Go back to sleep.” you calm him down, thinking he's having a bad dream. Unfortunately, this began to happen more and more often with Stanford.

“Well, aren’t you a little barnacle. . . Clingy, aren’t we, doll?”

The pet name barely registers. You shift against him, still half-asleep. “Ford?” you blink once, twice, before your eyelids sink shut again. You don’t even process the difference in his tone, the lazy mockery threading through his words.

“That’s me,” Ford's body moves, wanting to get up and that's when you tighten your grip, burrowing your head against his chest.

“Don’t. . . don’t go back to the lab. You need rest.”

“But babyyy, who else is going to do this if not me?

You freeze now. That word, Ford’s never called you that. Never used anything close to it, really. Your brain stumbles over the word.

Your reactions are too slow because sleep is what you need the most right now, you'll definitely ask him about it, but later. Ford tenses again, but you don’t let go. “Please, stay. Just for tonight. For me.” your voice muffled against him. “I’ll make coffee later. You’re so warm.”

He stiffens and you don’t understand why. You’re too drowsy to care.

Ford Bill laughs. “You’re a stubborn little thing, huh?”

You nod, nuzzling closer. “Love you, Ford. You’re safe here. Don’t worry about the portal. It’ll keep.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Bill tries to move Ford’s body again and fails. Your grip is too tight. “What the hell—”

“You’re not going anywhere.” you mutter, half-conscious but entirely stubborn.

Eww, that’s disgusting. All your stupid little human things, Bill thinks, lovey-dovey nonsense. Kisses and cuddles and 'i love you's. Ugh.

Bill hisses, struggling against the deadweight of Ford’s body and your death grip. “are you kidding me? let go, you clingy meat sack!”

You don’t respond, already drifting back to sleep, lulled by the familiar rhythm of Ford’s heartbeat under your ear.

Bill wants to shove you off, peel you away like the nuisance you are, but— but you’re warm.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

It’s infuriating, your face is tucked into his chest, like you actually trust him. Like he’s not a god of chaos who could snap his fingers and turn your precious little dimension upside down. The audacity of it.

And yet, he can’t quite bring himself to move. It’s disgusting. It’s uncomfortable. It’s. . . nice? No, no, no, no, no. He refuses. He refuses.

Fucking humans, sentimental little parasites. Always clinging, always needing, always—

You smile in your sleep.

Bill goes still, motionless, probably plotting your demise, cursing his predicament, but he doesn't move. He just lies there, trapped, a caged beast forced to endure the unexpected warmth of human affection.

And honestly it's kind of hilarious. The horror, you say? The real horror is watching Bill Cipher, the embodiment of chaos and destruction, forced to cuddle against his will. The horror is the look of utter bewilderment on his face, the way his single, malevolent eye seems to be pleading, begging for release.

Let him stew. Let him learn a little something about the human condition. Let him experience the unexpected comfort of a warm embrace. Besides, who knows? Maybe a little human affection will do him some good. Maybe it'll soften those sharp edges and melt that icy heart.

ps - barnacle: a person or thing that clings tenaciously :)

[catboybiologist]

Wanted to ask about this for a while but you had asks off, you mentioned having experienced hetero(ish) relationships from "both sides", so like, do you have any interesting observations or perspectives you think most people don't know about?

Ah yes, the bisexual transgender eye. There's lots to say here, and I don't think much of it hasn't been said before. I don't think my observations are limited to what I'm rambling about here, but here's some surface level ones.

Btw, this is probably going to be my post with the most weirdly gendered thing of anything I've posted here. I hope its abundantly clear that I don't think any of this intrinsic or morally good, its just my observation on how heterosexuals act towards each other while dating. This isn't about the boxes men and women should be in, its about the boxes that society has put them in.

I think that dating apps are intensifying stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" dating roles in heterosexual relationships. Eg, encouraging men to "take the intitiative", oftentimes enabling harassing behavior in the process. This, in turn, forces women to screen and shut down men extremely harshly. Except, because of the entire dynamic that's being set up now, this makes a lot of men think women are "playing the game", and again, enables harassment from them.

I recently deleted all my dating apps, but even before then, I had them set to women and enbies/other only for a long time. Her was my primary app, but it has a very small userbase where I live.

Irl, men absolutely take the initiative more than women, but less aggressively than online. There's a huge added element of fear because of the in person aspect, however, and when meeting up, men can be extremely pushy.

The "toxic girlboss" angle of this is that this is often fun to play with. If you're clearly communicating in a serious context, and have established systems of consent that extend to communication as well as the bedroom, playing with "the chase" is... intoxicating. Having a man wrapped around your finger is really fucking fun. It has to feel safe and fun for both parties involved, though. You need to be able to "break character" at any point and have direct conversations, either about boundaries or directly communicating a want or need.

Obviously I haven't publicly been a woman for very long, so my experience isn't vast and limitless or anything. But I've had a few wonderful romantic entanglements with men already. Luckily for me, one of these is ongoing 😘

As for some of the people I've talked to, but never gotten far with.... cishet men are really stupid. I'm sorry but like. Y'all are. There's a lot to be said about how society normalizes male incompetence in heterosexual relationships (eg, the dopey husband stereotype) but I think this also extends to the early stages of a relationship. Men very frequently bitch and moan about "games" while not realizing that they play just as many "games" themselves. Oftentimes, those games involve being overly pushy with everything, and then not communicating their own limits and what they want out of a situation, expecting women to figure it all out for them. Eg, they want to bring forward unlimited energy and pushiness, but expect women to be the ones that whittle them down to what they actually want. This applies both romantically and sexually. Men have a lot of emotional needs, of course, and yes its a problem that they're often not met. But a huge part of that is society discouraging them from openly communicating what they want.

I guess to summarize all of this, I feel like so much of modern dating is essentially a process of elimination, where men are constantly encouraged to push and say yes, and women are constantly encouraged to shut them down for their own safety, and if they're lucky, they eventually reach a healthy dynamic by sheer process of elimination. Which... really isn't fun, and leaves a lot of room open for frustration.

Queer relationships and flirting provide a lot of open communication that hetero dynamics don't. I've had the most luck in "heterosexual" dynamics with queer or queer adjacent people, and literally everyone I've ever gotten past the initial stages of "talking" with has been at least a little bi, by their own admission. It's not that straight men aren't interested in me, or that straight women weren't interested in me before, its just that these are the people who will understand my existence as a queer woman the best and communicate with me the most openly.

I probably could say more, but that's a summary, I guess. I know its weird and stereotypical, but unfortunately, heterosexual dating is pretty much the most gendered possible environment you could be in. I feel like Jane Goodall in there sometimes, but hey. Ya gotta do what you gotta do.

[atangledfate]

It was probably wise to let Blaze do the talking and negotiations. She was a Royal and had probably taken classes or had some training and experience that they just didn't have. Lanolin was doing great but he had seen enough to know she wasn't great when she got frustrated or angry. They needed someone like Blaze who could keep a level head when she had to.

" I agree with Blaze on this... She should do the talking, none of us are diplomats or negotiators by trade. She's probably the most qualified of us... and right now we need experience..."

He sighed at belle giving her a glance as he somewhat agreed with both her and Kit.

" Well i like to think he was being kind in giving us an hour. But... it was also probably to stress us out. Make us worry, panic, and see how we'd react to the situation... but, i do agree with Belle. Until he proves he's a threat... we should assume he's on the up and up... but that said--- we should take everything he says with a grain of salt..."

Miles scratched his own Chin as Rowan was probably right but he had a better question. What was GUN really after? What as there end goal? This had to have some bigger picture right? Why risk ruining GUNs reputation? There was something missing and he just didn't know what it was yet.

" I'm tellin' ya right now...the guy stinks! everything about this feels wrong... my gut tells me they are up to no good! an a good PI always follows there GUT! "

===============================================

She laughed a little at Surge, though it sounded kind of sad and depressed. She rubbed her own cheek as she thought about herself as normal. She never told any of them about why she was there, why she was fighting so hard or why she refused to back down. They all had there motivations and reasons to fight---hers was probably the worst reason of all.

She just wanted Revenge...

" ... I'm anything but normal... and i should have listened to Whisper. She spotted him near day one and i... blindly defended him. I just thought... i knew better... "

She rubbed her arm and glanced away from Surge not sure how she felt on the matter. But she knew she fucked up, and had to somehow make amends with whisper later.

" I just... get so caught up in trying to be a good leader i forget to listen to my team. I thought i knew better... i thought... i thought i could make us ready so we wouldn't be caught again. I don't want a situation like Eggperial city again... but i walked right into his trap... like a fool...But, i won't make that mistake again...ever again "

" Yea, the Director... Jewel never showed up at the command center and i'm worried about her. She should have been with Vector... but she wasn't there. So i wanna check the infirmary...maybe she got hurt during the landing and is being cared for. She's not a fighter... but Restoration won't run without her... she keeps us running smoothly... you might not realize it but without Jewel everything falls apart...we need her... "

She sighed and held out her hand to Surge

" We should get going...we have less then an hour now... and we still have alot to do..."

"If it came to asking him questions then maybe I should be the one to ask. I have never attempted any form of communication with the leader of Mobius before, though I guess now is as good a time as any." Blaze wasn't even sure where she stood on relations with G.U.N, though beyond the damage Eggman Nega caused her involvement here has never caused any problems.

"Well, he did give us an hour to let us get things in order to some degree. I suppose I simply dislike judging someone without getting to know them." Maybe Belle was playing devils advocate quite a bit right now, though she just liked to be as hopeful as she can be. After all, Thawne was the President so he couldn't do anything too crazy without looking bad. That offered a small amount of leeway.

"That all depends if G.U.N actual needed an hour to set something up which is why he gave it to us and keep our focus elsewhere." Kitsunami was sure that was a stretch, though who knows what G.U.N has up their sleeves. After all, The Restoration has a lot of power houses here right now, and three powerful speedsters as well.

"Eh, anything else would be overkill if you ask me. Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if by this point the whole word was watching what's going on. So now they'll have to be careful of what they do just as much as us going forward. If they misstep it'll be a PR nightmare for them." Rowan wouldn't be surprised if there were news vans all over the place by now as G.U.N doesn't move without getting noticed.

===========================================================

"And here I thought you were the normal one out of the group. Guess all our weirdness finally got to you too." Surge still found it hard to believe any of them even liked her, even a little bit. Kitsunami did a way better job at getting along with them than she did, if you didn't count the times he would insult their level of intelligence. Most of that was directed at Tangle.

"Don't go trying to take credit for my fuck up. Mimic would've been found out way sooner if I wasn't covering for his ass when needed. Not to mention I was the one dumb enough to work for someone like Clutch." Surge didn't need Lanolin trying to blame herself when most of this was her fuckup. The only thing she didn't do was cause G.U.N to knock at their fucking door.

"Jewel?" Surge would have to think for a moment before remembering who that was. "Oh, the director chick. Gonna be honest, I never really talked to her. Though the fact she isn't glued to the command center now is weird, right? Maybe I should make a quick run around the base." Surge may not know Jewel well, though knew they were dedicated so even she found it odd they weren't at the command center. The tenrec would grab Lanolin's arm before dashing off at high speeds.

[toonice113]

Slut! ⋆ ★ N.Hischier 

0. ┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁  Begin again 

Pairings: Nico Hischier x Singer!FMC (Teddy Wells)

Summary: Teddy has just gone through a horrible breakup, her best friend gives her the chance to begin again by setting her up on a date.

Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of breakdowns, Lando Norris being a horrible ex (he gets worse sorry)

Word count: 1.7k

Face claim: Nicole Wallace

⋆˚࿔ tina's note 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Welcome to the intro for my new Nico fic, as it stands this will have 3 parts (Peace, But daddy I love him and Slut!) plus this intro. I had the idea for this a while ago and planned to write it as a full thing on wattpad but I get bored of my projects so quickly that I decided not to do it and so here we are now with a three part series, I’m not sure when the rest of it will go up as I only have an outline of it but keep an eye out for it! Anyways I kinda rushed to write this while I could because lately I’ve been getting a million ideas but when I start to write it just disappears so it might not be the best but I hope you still enjoy it.

Breakups are hard, breaking up for the second time with the guy you thought you were going to marry and spend the rest of your life with is harder, add fame to the mix and it is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. For the past month I’ve been hiding away from everyone in my NYC apartment, the first week was the worse, moving out of our Monaco apartment in the middle of the night, calling Alyssa so she could book me the next flight back to America then having to contain myself during the trip so no one realized how broken I was, arriving back at the NYC apartment I broke down and spent that whole week crying on the couch. Alyssa herself took a flight to Monaco the next week after making sure that I was well enough to at least feed myself to retrieve the things I had left behind, while she was away I had the most humbling experience of my life (more than the one time where someone almost threw me out of my own show while backstage but that’s a different story) when I set the table for two people while on autopilot and then burned one of the placemats when I realized what I had done leading to yet another breakdown. A month after my breakup I had pulled myself together enough to be trusted to be left alone, and I only did it because I felt selfish for keeping Alyssa in New York when I knew she had a trip planned to see her family in Switzerland, she begged for me to join her but I didn’t want to intrude and bring down the happy mood.

Alyssa came back two weeks later with a plan and no intention of backing out of it, she was setting me up with one of her friend’s brother who lived in New Jersey, a hockey player named Nico who according to Alyssa if he wasn’t one of her best friend’s brother she would’ve smashed (her words not mine). I of course rejected the date immediately, I had just gotten to the point of not crying at the sight of my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend who he had cheated on me with, because of course although he hadn’t confirmed anything there were tons of pictures of the two online, so I was in no state to go out on dates but my best friend does not back down, like ever, which is one of the qualities I liked about her so much when I first hired her to be my personal assistant, I’ve never not gotten a reservation I’ve wanted even if said reservation was in the new cool restaurant that already has a six month waiting list. After days of nagging I finally gave in, and that’s how I found myself on the back of an Uber on a Wednesday on my way to a coffee shop in Hoboken nervously picking at my nails and straightening the skirt of my dress over and over again until the driver announces that we have arrived, I thank him and walk out, I’m five minutes early and I don’t expect him to arrive on time, Lando never did, so I probably have some time to settle down on a table before he arrives, to calm my nerves a little, but when I walk through the door I see him sitting on a table on the other end of the cafe, that is thankfully not that busy, he looks better than in the pictures Alyssa showed me. Slowly I approach him and as soon as he notices me he gets up to greet me “Teddy, hi” he speaks out and I can’t help but swoon a little in my head at his voice “I’m Nico” he introduces himself with a smile putting is hand out for a handshake

“Hi” I take his hand “It’s nice to meet you” I’m sure my voice comes out shaky but he doesn’t say anything about it an instead pulls my chair out so I can sit after we let go of the handshake

“Do you want to order?” he asks motioning to the small menu in the middle of the table “I’m not sure what you like but I was looking at the menu and there seem to be a good selection of pastries that my trainers would probably disapprove of but oh well” 

We order and talk for a bit while sipping on our drinks and eating our pastries, I let him take the lead in the conversation partly because I’m nervous as this is my first date with someone other than Lando in a very long time, and even with Lando dates were scarce, but also because I don’t want to be rude and interrupt the stories he’s telling me “So how did you meet Alyssa?” he asks after he finishes his story

“Uh she’s my assistant actually, well the title is forgotten most of the time nowadays since we’ve gotten so close but yeah my manager thought I needed someone to help me around and I interviewed around six people before Alyssa walked in, I was actually about to call the rest of the interviews before she came in because I was having problems scheduling some recording sessions, but she walked in and helped me figure it out in ten minutes, and that’s how I knew she was the one” I say and this is probably the longest I’ve talked in the twenty five minutes we’ve been chatting “We became friends fast, although between you and me I think she just pretends to like me because I pay her” I joke and he chuckles letting me see his dimples.

“You know when Nina called about setting me up on a date I said no because I know better than to trust my sister with my love life” He says and I notice his voice goes softer when he talks about his sister “And then he added Alyssa to the call and I knew I was done for” 

“She is good at convincing people to do things they don’t want to do” I agree “Last year she decided we were gonna go camping and as much as I enjoy nature I’m more of a glamping kind of girl, like I love the idea of sitting around a fire surrounded by nothing but green but Alyssa’s idea of camping was more like a tent and sleeping bags” he listens to me attentively and it’s kind of new to have someone look that interested in what I have to say “Anyways I say yes and we get to the place, we went with a couple other friends and she was in charge of getting our tents and stuff, turns out she got a kid sized tent for both of us” he cackles, and his laugh makes me chuckle too “Thankfully we fit somehow but only if we slept like basically cuddling and that is how I found out Alyssa is a real fan of snuggling when she sleeps” he laughs again, his dimples deepening “I had to pee at some point, thankfully there were porta potties, so I had to untangle myself from her and it was such a challenge that I thought I would pee right there but finally I got out and went to the restroom and then as I was going back to the tent I saw something move where we had stored our food and got so scared I ran to our tent and woke Alyssa up telling her there was a bear, because I was convinced it was a bear, both Alyssa and I armed ourselves with the only things we had in the tent, our flashlights, and when we came out ready to attack we found out it was only one of our friends having a midnight snack” he laughs even harder, throwing his head back and I can’t remember the last time someone found one of my stories this funny “Safe to say I’m never camping again much less with Alyssa” 

“Oh man” He looks back at me after his laughing subsides “So you were planning on fighting a bear with your flashlights?” 

I nod, smiling “You wanna know the best part?” he nods with a raised eyebrow “They were those pocket flashlights that are smaller than your hand” his head falls back again as he laughs more “There was no space for the big ones in our kiddie tent!” I exclaim laughing with him 

We stayed at the cafe for a couple hours just getting to know each other, and for a while I forgot all about Lando and my heartbreak, finally after my uber arrived, a street over because they had closed the street we were in for some random thing they had to fix while we were in the coffee shop, our chatter subsided, and as we walked to the car in silence I saw a poster for an athletic brand with Lando in it and just as I was about to say something about it, Nico picked up the conversation again talking about the holidays as we passed by a little shop selling christmas ornaments (even though it was not yet christmas time) “We always watch Elf, it’s my favorite christmas movie and I begged my mom every day for like two weeks to make me the spaghetti, finally one day she agreed to let me prepare it with the leftovers after she made dinner, I ended up throwing up in the bathroom” This time I chuckle 

“Poor baby Nico” I say poking his side 

“Well not really baby Nico, I think I was like twelve or thirteen when it happened” We both laugh and then we are standing in front of my uber “So… Thank you for today” 

“I should be the one saying thank you” I say smiling at him “I had a great time” 

“Me too” he hesitates a little but then he pulls me in for a hug, opening the door for me as we let go “Let me know when you get home safe” I nod with one last smile and get on the car waving goodbye feeling a little sad that the date is over, which is weird because just three hours ago I was so sure this would’ve gone horribly wrong but now all I can think about is when I’m going to see this man again and of course thanking Alyssa for setting this up and giving me the opportunity to begin again.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

hi. this probably doesn't mean much, but i experienced abuse for being a trans gay man a few years ago. i was bullied back into the closet and into identifying as bisexual instead of gay. bullied into using she/her pronouns again no matter how much it hurt me. if i tried to do anything masculine i was either met with harassment, death threats or "eww why would you want to be a MAN". they'd say they wish they had my feminine body, how i was unappreciative of my large breasts. i was made to change my name to something less man like because ew icky men! eww! right?

to this day im still terrified to be feminine despite how much i want to. i want to be a feminine trans guy but i'm scared. im scared i will be borderline fetishized and tormented again. im scared because people believe my abuse never happened and it hurts because i think about it every day. my chest dysphoria gets worse every day. i want to die

sorry for venting here, i just wanted to share my story to someone who i think will understand

Firstly, don't ever be sorry for sharing your story. Your experience is valid, and you deserve to have your voice heard. I fully believe you and your story, and I'm so, so, sorry to hear that you were treated that way. You deserve a world better than how you've been treated.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a man, feminine or not. There's nothing wrong with wanting surgery on your chest to ease dysphoria. There's nothing wrong with wanting to change your name to whatever you feel best fits you. There's nothing wrong with using he/him or he/they, or any pronouns you want to use. You don't deserve to be shoved back into the closet, and you definitely don't deserve death threats.

I really do hope that you find yourself a new community that will treat you with the amount of respect, and dignity, that a man like you deserves. Because you do deserve it. You deserve love, respect, and the ability to be your most authentic self, however that appears.

And there's also nothing wrong with wanting to be a feminine man. I fully support you in doing so, and I fully support you living your life as your most authentic self possible.

I wish you all the best, and send all my love your way.

[lovie2mist]

Because I said so: Gyeong-seok x Hyun-ju PT. 1

because i can, so i will write for this ship because they are just too cute.

Timid shy guy x Timid Badass girl

This takes place some time after the game, Gyeong-seok doesn't really know what happened but he can't seem to stop thinking about Hyun-ju.

Years had gone by, memories faded, but the warmth of her lips remains on his. He never thought he would see her again, until he took Na-yeon on a trip to America, and thank god he did.

Genre: fluff, kissing

Warning: internalized transphobia, insecure thoughts, suicidal thoughts.

It was a whirlwind of a game. People died, and friends betrayed. There was so, so many reasons why this was inappropriate, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from looking at her. At her flushed face, at her weak smile, at the way she took a deep breath.

Seriously, they had just gotten back to the dormitory, and he couldn't keep his mouth shut. "God, I could draw you forever," Gyeong-seok says moments ago. Now, eyes wide and mouth agape, he couldn't help but stare at her. Sitting down on the steel stairs was probably not a good idea.

"I—Um— OH GOD I'M SORRY I—" he stuttered out, now forcing himself to look away as he started to become a blabbering mess in front of the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

Player 120, or Hyun-ju as he now knows, let out a chuckle, that quickly turned into a laugh, making him look at her in both shame and admiration.

God, he just can't help it, huh?

No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stop his heart from beating so loudly when it comes to her.

A moment passes by, and Hyun-ju finally stops laughing—whether it was at him or because of him, he didn't care; he was just glad that he made her laugh.

"You know...," Hyun-ju starts, eyes slowly meeting his, as if to enamour him further than he already was, "if I didn't know better, I would've thought that you liked me, Mr. 246," she tucks a hair behind her ear, a small smile on her face as she slowly looks away, "though, knowing from experience, guys like you wouldn't dare see me in that way, huh?"

A gloomy air started to form around them, as their eyes were still staring at each other; he could see the pain and rejection that Hyun-ju was starting to feel. A tense silence filled the once light-hearted moment.

Gyeong-seok starts to panic, 'think, Gyeong-seok, think,' he racks his brain to say something, anything, just so he can remove the heartbroken expression from Hyun-ju's beautiful face.

As she started to look away, Gyeong-seok suddenly held her hand, making Hyun-ju look at their intertwined hands. "YOU KNOW...!" Embarrassed, he lets out a fake cough to distract everyone from his sudden outburst. "You know...," he says in a much lower, much more appropriate volume, "if a guy like me wouldn't see a woman as brave, as wonderful, as beautiful as you in that way, then that guy is a fool. And...," he trails off; he looks at Hyun-ju; he sees the way her face reddens, her eyes still staring at their hands, "I wouldn't want to be that guy."

Hyun-ju could feel her face heat up at what player 246, or Gyeong-seok, had said. By god, she was going to have a heart attack. She looks up from their hands to see his face; she was afraid, afraid that this was just some shitty-ass joke from a sweet-looking guy. However, when she sees his face, she can only see the sincerity in his eyes, staring right back at her.

They stare at each other for god knows how long; he couldn't help himself. That was it! He just couldn't help himself when it came to her. She makes him weak in all the ways that she could, and he would let her make him weak. Especially now, he just could not help it. Hyun-ju's face softened in a way that could only make him weak in the knees if he wasn't already sitting down.

Slowly, he starts to lean closer. He knows how pitiful he looks at the moment, giving a girl he just met—on a death game relay, no less—huge, big, puppy dog eyes, begging her to come closer, to make him weaker than he already was. And Hyun-ju is kind, as she leans closer, her heartstrings being pulled with the way he looks at her, and she wasn't about to hurt this pitiful man, so she leans in and kisses him.

Gyeong-seok kissed back hungrily. Hungry in a way a starving man would be after not eating for a whole year. A whine escapes from his mouth as Hyun-ju brings her free hand to his hair, his hand on her waist as he pulls her closer.

Their kiss deepens as Hyun-ju removes her hand from his hold to wrap her arm around his neck. Gyeong-seok used his now free hand to roam her body.

They pull away from the kiss, catching their breath. They stare at each other once again.

"Gyeong-seok, I...," Hyun-ju trails off. "Hyun-ju...," he follows. Suddenly, the alarms go off, alerting everyone. Gyeong-seok looks around to see what's going on. He looks back at Hyun-ju, only to see her fading away from him.

"Huh? What? Hyun-ju... Hyun-ju! HYUN-JU!"

He brings his arms up to grab her, frantic as she tries to grab onto him as well.

"HYUN-JU! WAIT! DON'T GO...!"

OOF!

"PAPA! PAPA! WAKE-UP!"

He feels pain, a near-combustible pain in his stomach as he processes what's going on.

"Ouch! Na-yeon! Stop! I'm awake, I'm awake!" Gyeong-seok groggily says as he puts his daughter next to him. He rubs his eyes, letting out a long yawn as the sun shines brightly behind the curtain.

"But, Papa! You said we'd go to the aquarium today!" Na-yeon whines as she pulls on her father's arm. "Hmm, I said that? I can't quite remember," Gyeong-seok rubs his chin, teasing the little girl as she repeatedly tells him that he did quite tell her that!

Gyeong-seok lets out a chuckle, "Okay okay, I did. Now go and get dressed while I make us breakfast, is that alright?" The little girl shouts out a YES! before running off to her room. He smiles at her until she's gone from his line of sight. He lets out a sigh as he slowly puts his feet out off the bed and onto the floor.

"What a dream, huh?" He whispers to himself; he breathes out again, the cold air from the air conditioner in their Airbnb hits his skin, making the man shiver a bit. Gyeong-seok stretches out his body before finally walking out of his room.

After the money he got from the government after they, the survivors of the game, exposed the masterminds, he got a huge compensation and funding for his daughter's medical bills and procedures, allowing him to carefully save up for their future as Na-yeon's health improved. After being cancer-free and being let out from the hospital, Na-yeon had expressed her wish to start studying. Now, a few years later, they're staying in America for her summer break.

Gyeong-seok makes his way to the kitchen; a view of the morning sky from the window on the balcony catches his eye. He takes a deep breath as a smile crawls up his face.

"What a good way to start the day..."

[aishangotome]

[Azel] Loving Devoutly in God's Harem - Part 1

Thank you @shatcey for providing the video for this!

This is a "what if" story.

You, a book merchant, visit Tanzanite and catch the eye of the Living God. You end up imprisoned in the "harem"...

Emma: Prince Azel, thank you for everything up until now.

Azel: Rejected. Why are you casually trying to escape? Wait!

Azel grabs my hand as I try to leave the room with my luggage.

(I guess I can't just suddenly run away without any explanation.)

Azel: Have you forgotten your debt to me?

Azel: You promised to repay the debt you owe me by acting as a shield against women, didn't you?

Emma: If all I have to do is repay the debt, there are other ways to pay.

Emma: For example, I could do other work and repay in installments...

Azel: Rejected.

Emma: Stingy!

Azel: Stingy is fine. Please get to work today.

Azel confiscates my luggage and looks down at me with a frown.

Emma: Then please listen to my earnest plea.

Azel: I'll listen, but that's it.

Emma: The other day, I heard from a merchant acquaintance...

Emma: That the story of the only woman to receive the sole affection of the Living God has already spread throughout the continent.

Azel: And?

Emma: If I were to fall in love with someone in the future, the rumors might become a hindrance.

Azel: Poor you.

Emma: Yes, poor me, right?

Azel: However, even if it's a pity for you, you have an obligation to pay your debt.

Azel: I have no choice but to tearfully bind you to the God's harem.

Emma: ...In the first place, that debt is due to your fraud, Prince Azel.

Emma: You only said you would introduce me to customers looking for books, but then you suddenly demanded a commission fee...

Azel: It's your fault for not confirming beforehand. It was a good learning experience, wasn't it?

(It's no use saying anything else.)

Emma: I've decided! I'm running away tonight!

Azel: Don't declare it so boldly! I'll put a collar on you.

Emma: ...I never knew Prince Azel had such a hobby...

Emma: Eek... W-w-wait a minute!

Azel pinches my cheeks, and when I resist, he picks me up.

Azel: This conversation is over. Let's go to sleep.

Emma: Are we together again today? I don't want to!

Azel: That's how a harem works, isn't it?

(What do you expect from a fake lover?)

The Living God is famous for keeping women at bay.

The harem's caretaker had been racking his brains about this for years, but the situation changed when Azel suddenly brought in a foreign girl.

(I've heard that he wants to do something about the current situation where countless women are flocking to enter the harem...)

(I wonder how long Azel intends to keep me tied down.)

Originally, we were more than acquaintances but less than friends, a book merchant and a customer.

I don't even know why I was targeted by the God.

I'm thrown onto the bed and he embraces my prone body. The warmth enveloping my back makes my heart pound.

(He probably imprisoned me for some baseless reason like, "I'm sure she won't fall for me"... )

(I wish he would realize that's not the case.)

Azel: Let me tell you, this is a measure to prevent you from escaping.

Azel: It's not like I want to sleep with you, so don't get the wrong idea.

(...There are plenty of other ways to keep me from escaping.)

(Since coming to the harem, I've been repeatedly swayed by Azel's suggestive behavior.)

(At first, I could easily brush it off, but as time goes by, it's becoming more difficult...)

(...It's painful to be told I can't fall in love with him.)

-

The next day, my plan to run away at night ended in failure.

Since I'm the only woman confined in the Living God's harem, the people around me are always going out of their way to try and win his favor by any means necessary.

It escalates day by day...

Emma: ...Sigh...

Azel: Don't sigh so obviously. It's contagious.

Emma: I never thought I'd be thrown into the bath while Prince Azel is bathing!

Even though the spacious bath allows for distance between us, soaking in the same water while wearing only a thin cloth is nothing short of an ordeal.

(What will happen if this keeps escalating?)

Azel: Just don't mind it.

Emma: Doesn't it bother you, Prince Azel?

Azel: If it's harmless, I don't care.

(Certainly, if we're this far apart, it doesn't really matter...)

(...That's impossible, isn't it?)

I sneak a glance at Azel, and he's completely averted his gaze from me.

Is this an "I'm not interested" attitude, or is it shyness...?

Either way, there's a prickling pain in my chest.

(Right now, it's just a bath, but there's a possibility that it could become a serious situation.)

(I gave up yesterday, but I really should try to escape, even if it's forced.)

(...)

(...In the first place, I'm a decoy to ward off women.)

(Azel was supposed to hate women who approach him.)

(In other words, if I become like those women, he might get fed up and kick me out.)

(That's right... Why didn't I think of this sooner?!)

The brilliant idea that popped into my head seems like a long shot if I think about it calmly, but...

Cornered, I have no other choice.

Emma: Prince Azel, since we're here, shall I wash your back?

Azel: Huh?

Emma: Or perhaps I could wash your hair?

Azel: ...Ah, so you're trying to get kicked out by deliberately harming me.

(Ugh... He saw through me in an instant.)

Emma: N-no, I wouldn't think of doing something so straightforward.

Emma: It's just that, if I'm going to play the part of the favored woman, even if it's a lie, I thought I should be able to do at least this much.

(Don't be shy. Just a little... just a little more to endure.)

I inhale the steamy air and move closer to Azel through the water.

When I close the distance enough to touch him, his mystical eyes, filled with the starry sky, suddenly turn towards me.

(...!)

Azel: Unfortunately, that's not even enough to be considered harassment.

Emma: ...I'm not trying to harass you.

Emma: It's just... well...

Emma: I just want to love the Living God!

Azel: ...Is that so?

(Huh, he's calmer than I expected—)

(!?)

He puts his hand on my waist in the water and pulls me closer.

Before I know it, our bodies are touching through the thin cloth.

Azel: Then please do your best.

(...Eh?)

.

.

.

Part 2

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[artaxlivs]

Ch. 1 of "There's Something Wrong With Steve" (complete fic posted here on Ao3)

Eddie wakes up in an unfamiliar bed. He’s bandaged and broken with no memory of how he got here. Before he can call out for help, Steve comes in. Looks delighted that he’s awake. Tells him he has to be quiet though. That Steve’s parents showed up and they’ll probably leave soon but if they see Eddie, they’ll call the police and he’s still a wanted man.

Steve’s got the kind of bathroom that connects his room with the guest room. Says they’re called “Jack and Jill” bathrooms. Which sounds like some weird Brady Bunch type of shit but it means they have access to each other and a bathroom without leaving their rooms which is convenient as hell.

Steve helps him to the bathroom at first, closes the door for privacy. Showers are trickier because his parents would notice the shower running twice. And Eddie needs help. They shower together with their boxers on until the last minute, then shove them down with their backs turned and wrap up quickly with towels after. It’s an odd bonding experience but it breaks down any barriers they have pretty quickly.

Steve apologizes daily for the lack of visitors. Says they can’t risk it though, his parents don’t really know about the kids. Steve sneaks him food, cold leftovers usually but snacks to keep in a drawer, even brings him a pack of Yoo-hoos. He loans Eddie his Walkman with his shitty tapes but promises to go to the record store soon and get Eddie something he likes.

Every day Steve brings him something new. A notebook to doodle in, colored pens, books to read. Spends most of his time with Eddie. Let’s Eddie draw fake tattoos on him with a black marker until Eddie’s exhausted and needs to sleep. Refuses to scrub the tattoos in the shower so they’ll last longer. Eddie drags his fingertips over them sometimes. Thinks about pressing his lips to them.

He has nightmares about the bites and feels them again night after night. Feels terrified in the dark. One night he wakes in Steve’s arms, with Steve shushing him and rocking him. Steve tells Eddie that he’d been crying out and he was afraid his parents would come check. Offers to sleep with him. Eddie’s so desperate for human contact that agrees, even though he’s already worried Steve knows how he feels. The next night, Steve offers without Eddie even asking. He never bothers going back to his own bed after that.

It’s not until he’s been trapped in one room for two weeks and realized he isn’t getting any stronger that Eddie gets suspicious.

The weirdest thing is that Eddie never hears anyone else in the house. And he listens. His window faces the backyard so he can’t tell if Steve’s parents' cars are ever gone. But the phone never rings and there’s never raised voices or music or anything. No TV to disrupt the silence. The only time there are sounds from the kitchen or on the stairs is when Steve’s out of the room.

One day, Steve tells him he’s going to go see the kids, maybe bring Eddie some letters from them if he can but his moms home so Eddie can’t leave the room. Shouldn’t even walk around and don’t flush the toilet. He’s scared. Or he acts like it at least. Eddie’s not sure what to think. Makes Eddie promise to be careful because he says he doesn’t want anything to happen to him. So afraid he’ll come home to find Hawkins PD on the lawn and Eddie at gunpoint.

Eddie’s afraid of that too but he’s just as afraid that there’s something not adding up here. He waits for fifteen minutes after Steve leaves before he cracks his guestroom door open, listening for any sounds. There’s nothing. He’s so weak that his legs almost wobble in their borrowed sweats but he makes it across the hall to what looks like another guest room. It overlooks the street. No cars in the driveway or out front. But they have a garage. So maybe they’re parked inside it?

Eddie pokes his head cautiously into the other bedroom. The door to this one is closed. It’s clearly the master, he can tell once he peeks inside. On his way to pull the door shut though, he sees dust on the bedside table. He lifts up the picture frame on it. There’s a lot of dust on the table. Months worth. Maybe more. He puts the frame back carefully. Ventures farther into the room, careful not to stick his fingers into any of the dusty surfaces on the furniture he passes. In the master bathroom, he finds the same signs of disuse. Opens the closet, it’s full of clothes but they all smell musty. Like they’ve been closed up for far too long.

He goes back to the guest room to check the driveway, still empty. No Bimmer. He doesn’t bother to go downstairs. There’s no way Steve’s parents are here. Which means that Steve is keeping him here for some reason. Lying to him. Why is he lying?

He goes to the phone table in the hallway, realizes he doesn’t know Dustin’s number by heart. He only knows the number to the trailer which he tries first and gets the disconnected signal and the number to Reefer Rick which is also disconnected …and Gareth. Who he doesn’t want to involve but he needs help. He calls. It rings ten times before Eddie finally hangs up. 

He’s close to tears. Maybe he can run for it? Hide somewhere and then go to Henderson’s once it gets dark? He stands there in the upstairs hallway next to the little table with the phone on it for far too long though because he hears a car pull into the driveway. He hobbles quickly back to his room, clicking the door shut and climbing back into bed. He’s sweating, his heart is racing, Steve’s gonna know. He’s gonna know.

After a minute of movement downstairs during which Eddie barely breathes, he hears Steve coming up the stairs. His heart is near to bursting out of his chest; it's beating so fast. Steve’s bedroom door opens and then Steve comes through their shared bathroom. Concern on his face at Eddie’s agitated state.  

“Oh fuck,” Eddie whispers, voice trembling naturally, “I was freaking out. Thank god it’s you. Every tiny sound, I was sure she was gonna come in here. Can you,” he holds out his hands and Steve smiles, sliding onto the bed next to him. Protective. Eddie curls into Steve, hiding the fear in his eyes by squeezing them shut. Hiding the knowledge on his face by pressing into Steve’s shoulder. Curling into Steve like a scared rabbit. Because he is. Because Steve is some kind of predator and Eddie doesn’t know how to escape.

Steve rubs his back gently, whispering reassurances. They fall asleep like that. Eddie, exhausted from his digging and the adrenaline fall out of what he’s excavated.

When he wakes up, there’s a fresh bandage on his neck and he’s alone. Steve must be listening for him though because he comes in on quiet feet, tells him in a hushed voice that Eddie must have strained too much while Steve was gone. He’d bled through his bandage so Steve had very carefully changed it in his sleep. 

But Eddie knows it hadn’t hurt all day and it hurts now. He thinks about how often that happens. And how weak he is. How he’s not getting any stronger. How monsters are real. And Vecna is real. And that in Dungeons and Dragons, Vecna’s right hand was a vampire, a valiant knight that he gave the name Kas to. He thinks about how Steve is the most valiant knight that Eddie has ever known. And Eddie knows he has nowhere to run this time.

--read the rest on Ao3

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

Merlinverse Wheel Interactions - Collection Post

I was bored, so I spun the wheel a couple of times. I actually only ignored results I already had, but removed options later on to get more variation. I haven't consulted anyone and just went from vague memory, so lemme know how badly I am off the mark. xDDD

Lavinia attempts to play matchmaker for Zelda

Magister Zelda by @fgfirenation

I believe we had this scenario before, where Zelda is playing matchmaker for Lavinia, when she learned that Zelda actually has en ever so small thing for a certain rabbit. 

But truth is... I think Lavi is a rather bad matchmaker. At least in terms of taking action to get them together. She is much rather having long talks with Zelda about when and how and possibilities of outcomes, never failing to encourage Zelda to do whatever is needed. Although, she might also be one to STOP the magister from doing something entirely headless. Since Lavinia's bound to Holistone in service, she'd not often have the chance to actually meet and talk to Lorsan. But since Lorsan is traveling, he might actually drop by and then when he does, Lavi is definitely observing VERY HARD and trying to see what he thinks about Zelda.

So yeah, rather than orchestrating things, she's gotta do the observing and spying and information forwarding. xD

Lavinia learns a new skill from Zelda

Uhm, so the standard answer is, of course, that any Merlin will one way or other, show Lavi how to deal with the left-over Hypogean magic within her. So the definite "feeling" of magic in and around herself, the certain things one can do to ease stress related to that, actual little spells and so on.

On another note, Zelda is such a powerhouse and crazy creature... that I feel like it would be so silly and cool if Lavi learned something as beautiful, delicate and soothing as sand mandala creation. Or like making small pottery creatures. Or making jewellery? xD Anything that's a little unexpected and shows Zelda's warm and caring side. Maybe it's crocheting? Felting? Well, origami, at the least! 

Lavinia playfully argues/banters with Sena.

Magister Sena by @bunnybird-afk

I am not sure what this means, to be honest. It sounds more like teasing to me... and in that case, I gotta move forward in time a little bit. Lavinia and Sena are comfortable with each others presence now, not least due to Valen, and there may have been little squibs from one to the other before. But for more lengthy banters, I think Lavinia's firstborn is the perfect reason. xD

Shall the kid have this or that to wear? Can it have tea and why couldn't it be wrapped up in a sock rather than a blanket? Can it be levitated around the Mystical House and climb up the towers made of books? Bedtime is when again and what bedtime story to read? And so on and so forth. <3

Lavinia teaches a new skill to DK

Magister DK by @gloriousrebirth

Ah, oh no, I don't think Lavi can teach ANY Merlin a new skill. xD At least certainly not in terms of magic. And what other skill might she be able to show to DK? Probably something incredibly boring... like a useful knot for tying things up. Maybe that knot turned out essential later on when DK needed it on Sinbad. xD Or maybe DK likes the nuts Lavi sometimes brings to the Mystical House not knowing that they have simply been soaked in water over night. Or maybe the same memory trick Lavi taught Molpe, given Merlin has an issue with forgetting things. xD

Lavinia compares opinions about .... with Celestino

Magister Celestino by @meepinmeat

Well, naturally the first thing that comes to mind is Valen. And that's not gonna be all too exciting, since they have the SAME opinion about him. xD BUT, given the difference in universe, they would probably be quite interested in the subtle differences of the Valens.

Alternatively, if it's CelVerse Lavi, then she'd be just friends with Valen and the three of them have, given her experience etc, a VERY in-depth discussion about the Heroic Order! And subsequently the Celestials and their role against the Hypogeans and whether they might not also be required to help "Esperian" problems.

Lavinia fights/spars with Celestino

Since Celestino is a Merlin, whether Lavi is from CelVerse or her own, the fighting is training in regards to her Hypogean powers. Not that Celestino would have to really break a sweat, though, it's all basic routine stuff. And yet, sometimes, he might make it extra tough for Lavi, not only forcing her to use her magic but also still the sword to win. And I don't see a reason why he wouldn't be able to drag Dionel into the ring, too. "Must I really, son?" and "Yes, really, or do you want to risk her ending up corrupted and on the other end of your spear for real?"

Lavinia attempts to play matchmaker for Rose

Magister Rose by @afkhowstrange

Not. xD Ahahaha, while they probably have a good relationship and can easily sit together with tea and cookies after training sessions etc, Lavinia is still too impressed and careful in what she does around Rose. Playing matchmaker? I don't think she'd allow herself to. That doesn't mean she'd not be interested and observing from the sidelines, to witness any developments. And if Rose ever confided in Lavinia, she's happily try to help in word or action (although she'd always feel silly for "setting anything up").

Lavinia offers to dance with Rose

Oh boy, you know what? Maybe THAT would be something Lavinia isn't embarrassed to do for Rose in terms of matchmaking. I don't actually know who Rose might have a crush on, but this dance would definitely be the perfect excuse to then go and ask her crush, too! Whether a confession follows, I don't know... but at least Lavi's done something for Rose to have a good time. <3

Lavinia meets the child version of Molpe

Magister Molpe by @mcnana

Aww, that would be so adorable! I don't think there would be anything special about the situation, but Lavinia has a way to pay actual attention to children and thus be perceived as a "nice lady" by them. Or on some cases, a lady to be reckoned with, not unlike Valen. Either way, Molpe probably lost her way or something, and Lavinia takes responsibility as a knight and delivers her back home. Getting her treats along the way, of course, and talking about her favourite games to play. xD

Lavinia offers to dance with Violyste

Magister Violyste by @magister-violyste

Hmmmm, this could be somewhere on the job, of course, a professional matter, if you will. But maybe it would be more something in relation with Hogan. xD Maybe there is no such thing as marriage for them, but let's assume there would be something akin to it, a special celebration, an anniversary, you name it... and since Lavinia is just part of Hogan's family and work, she might be asked to help with that. And then, to help Vi prepare, am sure Lavi would help her remember dances again. After all, Vi can't possible say no to Hogan when he asks, and you bet, he WILL ask. <3

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 7

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Hey All! I've been pretty low lately so this is coming up late and I am sorry.

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Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 1,950

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

Drown .07

(Y/n)

I usually don't hang out with Sarah or Kie - scratch that, I never really did. But when John B bats his ridiculous eyelashes with a puppy like plead, I usually could never tell him no. You could say that both of us like to use our puppy charm on each other. I couldn't complain though, I was having a good time with Sarah and Kie. I didn't have any other girlfriends than the two older ladies, one practically married to my brother and the other in love with his best friend, unexpectedly becoming the only two girls I could trust and hang around. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter either.

And that's how I ended up positioned on the sofa in Sarah Cameron's little, but luxurious apartment her father handed over to her in a way to apologize to her. Of course, she hadn't accepted the apology but she needed the place to stay and it was probably the closest way she could get that as of right now. I'd much rather be sat up at home with a well over-sugared up drink and left over wrappers from numerous little bars of KitKat's but I wasn't entirely miserable lounging around with Kie and Sarah either. I had nothing else better to do on a Friday night and we weren't doing anything crazy. We were just sat on the small pieces of furniture, having a conversation.

I wasn't exactly the one having the conversation. Kie and Sarah were having their own little conversation about the boy troubles they'd been having with JJ and John B. I had no love interest to talk about so I found no need to pay much attention, let alone jump in with my two cents. So I was absent minded for the time being.

"(Y/n/n)?"

"Huh?" I said, my posture straightening once I realized my attention needed to be somewhere it truly mattered now.

"You're really quiet. What's up?" the blonde pointed out, pulling her legs up and crossing them over each other. She looked genuinely concerned and it made me question if JJ had mentioned to them about the incident that happened at work, which gave me all the more reason to try not to be suspicious. If John B found out then I'd never be able to work a day in my life again.

I shook my head, "I just don't have much to talk about," my shoulders rising up and falling back down. I truly wasn't interested in anyone and I partially had John B to blame for that. Most boys I did show interest in would only be shot down by my brother because he didn't like how the boy acted, where he came from, or just in general didn't like the idea of me being around him. I was a hopeless romantic but I wasn't exactly miserable, either.

I had nothing to really complain about because most of those boys eventually turned out to be exactly what John B warned me about. I had nothing but gratitude for him, regardless of his repetitive ways of protecting me.

"Have you ever been in love, (Y/n)?" the girl's brows furrowed.

All I could do was shake my head, which I guess seemed shocking to hear from a sixteen-year-old girl because Sarah seemed surprised. Maybe it was because no one really seemed to acknowledge the fact that I've never had a romantic connection with anyone other than fantasy characters on my favorite T.V. shows. I had no experience in that department-- most assumed I at least had a first kiss or even a hand-holding memory but I didn't. I was a virgin in almost every section and nothing was checked off the list.

"Well that's gonna have to change this summer," she said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"What?"

"Yep,"

"You can't force love, Sarah," I groaned.

"No, but you can put yourself out there more (Y/n/n)." Sarah pointed in my direction, giving me that certain look. Yknow, that look a person gives you when they know they're right and all you can do is let out a small puff of air in defeat.

"I've tried, Sarah. That doesn't work in my favor,"

I tried so many times to put myself out there, but almost every time I had I was proven I should have never done so in the first place. The men now of days wanted nothing more than to tear into the innocence of inexperienced girls in order to show off to their friends and I wasn't going to be some trophy, I knew better than that-- I wanted more than that.

It wasn't my fault that most guys were dickheads and found that reserving myself for the right guy was prudish. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do anything with a guy, he was going to be the right person to do it with and so far, none of them fit that category yet. I wasn't going to let some self-centered asshole get under my skin about wanting to be with the right guy.

I was tempted to call John B and beg him to bring me home, I knew he'd pick up in a heartbeat knowing I was waiting for his answer on the other end of the line. Only I knew that if I called I'd have to explain to him why I didn't want to stay and endure the fact that he wouldn't take, 'nothing John B,' as an answer. I also didn't want to cause unnecessary arguing between my brother and his lover because they haven't been on the best of terms recently anyway.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place-- with no other options on my plate.

I could feel myself letting my mind wander off too far because every word slipping from Sarah's mouth became nothing but muffled sounds and I could do nothing but scold myself internally while trying to snap back to reality. Maybe it was just the topic of boys that hit home for me, or maybe it was just I found more comfort inside my head than expressing my trauma in fear that it would be passed down to my brother who eventually would never be able to live with himself if he knew the truth about my life and experiences.

John B's whole existence seemed to revolve around the simple task of keeping me out of harm's way, but even he couldn't do that and I don't blame him one bit for. He couldn't stand at my side for the rest of his life and I think even deep down, he knew that but he tried to be. He tries to be the big brother he's supposed to be but sometimes he also has to be a father and a mother at the same time and that's something he doesn't necessarily know how to be-- especially when he didn't get the luxury of feeling the parent love himself for a long period of time.

It was rough on him, too.

I knew he tried to keep himself together in front of me and everyone else— how he refused to have others worry about him when they had worse problems to focus on, and I'd never tell him this because I'd hate to see his face fall while I'd tell him but there have been multiple times where I've caught him sobbing—the kind of sobbing where you can't seem to make a noise but the broken plastered all over your face explains every ounce of pain you are feeling inside. Those moments are enough to break me, seeing my brother suffer in silence only to bounce back when he has to show his face around everyone is just a type of pain I can barely handle on the hardest days.

However, I wasn't too far gone to realize the immense buzzing at my side.

I glanced down, taking a quick peek at the caller ID, and realized it was the devil himself; John B.

You probably need to stop thinking about him, he can most definitely hear your thoughts.

A mix of shock and confusion filtered through my face but I reluctantly brought the device to my ear, not bothering to scan through the possible outcomes that were to come after picking up this call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pougie," My brother slurred a tad with his words. He was tipsy but not completely gone. He sounded in distress, which was never good to hear when we were separated.  "I'm sorry to call you like this and interrupt your girls' night-"

"You didn't interrupt," I interrupt, trying to reassure him, "What's going on?"

"It's JJ."

My face fell the moment I heard his name, "What's wrong?"

I'm not sure why, but when it comes to JJ and drinking it always seems to end unpleasantly and I always assume something is wrong-- most times, it's nothing and they just need me to come help take care of him but there are other times when the boy has held too much in than he bursts when liquor comes into the equation.

I could hear a sigh on the other end before he continued, "He's drunk too much again and I kinda need your help. You're better at this stuff than I am,"

A part of me was inching for him to get on with it-- blurt it out if you will but then the other part was terrified to find out what kind of trouble JJ could have gotten himself into tonight.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like he exploded again (Y/n/n)," I could hear the worry beginning to devour his tone and at that moment I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"Yeah, I can come home."

"He's been asking for you and said you're the only one he can talk to about this."

My facial expression morphed into full on confusion, and quite a bit of concern for JJ's state of mind currently.

Why am I the only person he can talk to?

"A-alright, I'll be there shortly then?"

I can hear a faint but familiar voice in the background of the call before John B could respond to me, "Is she coming?"

"Yeah man, she's on her way," my brother retorted with what I can only imagine of a small head nod.

A small pause filled the room on the other end and even on my own, I suppose no one really knew what to say until John B broke the silence.

"I'll see you soon (Y/n/n). Be careful and call me if you need me to pick you up, Okay?" 

I wasn't sure If I wanted to trust the boy's driving in this state of mind. He was decent, even when he wasn't sober but nonetheless, he still gave me practical anxiety attacks each time we drove while he was intoxicated. I think I'd rather take my chances of walking home than I would take being in a vehicle with John B currently.

"I'll see you soon JB and I'll be okay," I wander off out of the living room to find my belongings before reluctantly ending the ten-minute long phone call.

For a moment, I fell back into my own little world but this time it was racking through the endless amount of horrible things that are currently going on with JJ, and how almost all of them ended the same exact way they always had.

Downing more liquor.

The boy had a liver, I'd give him that but I worried about him and how much longer he could keep up with this before something more critical was to happen and there was nothing that anyone could do to fix it this time around.

He let himself drown every time.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

i have this headcanon i adore where jay and alex were hanging out in college at jay and alex’s apartment and brian comes over to visit. one thing leads to another and alex is sitting in the kitchen while brian pierces his ear because this guy wanted his ears pierced. it doesn’t hurt but it’s the sort of shock more than anything (and blood) that sorta makes him cry? it’s not a bad cry just a sort of in shock cry that jay eventually talks him through, and afterward alex really does like the piercings. i have ideas on what follows but i shan’t say for now. but it’s a hc i really enjoy, the intimacy in something not quite intimate but you’re doing because you adore your friend/partner thing. plus i love giving them fun college experiences.

Omg yes.

I just. I love needleplay. It's so fucking pretty. And making it permanent rather than being play piercings they have to take out right after? Even better. God Alex would look so pretty. I think he'd have to sit in his hands so he doesn't panic last second and grab Brian's wrist to stop him, because he does want his ears pierced, his lip pierced, his nose pierced, his eyebrow pierced, but he's always been bad with pain, or things he thinks will hurt. So even though he's actually surprised by how little it hurts, just a really really sharp pressure while the needles actively piercing through his flesh and then literally no pain at all after it's no longer breaking his skin, his body just acts on instinct to stop whatever is gonna cause him pain. They only manage to pierce his ears the first time they do it, tho it takes like four false starts, and for the fifth try Alex sits on his hands so Brian can do it.

Brian cuddles the shit out of him afterwards, like, so much. The whole thing gets Alex so floaty so fast, and they knew it was going to happen, but they didn't realise just how fast he'd go down with the shock of the pain. Like getting both piercings actually done takes less than a minute, Brian's good at this by now, he's done so many of his friends and his own piercings, but they spend like a solid half and hour afterwards just cuddling and Brian telling Alex how amazing he was, how well he sat still even though he wanted to squirm away. He's so fucking soft with it. They're not even dating or anything, it's just a good ol' helping of platonic kink, y'know?

Like, if it was Jay getting pierced, Brian would kiss him and probably fuck him afterwards, just cos, but this is Alex, so they just cuddle and eat snacks and watch a movie together and it's fucking amazing and they love each other so much. And when Jay gets back in from somewhere (idk lectures or something shit) he just joins the pile on the sofa and is like "omg omg show me show me" and Alex lifts his hair up so he can see the piercings, and he cooes about how good they look on Alex, asks if he'd do it again and grins when Alex nods and is like "yeah honestly I'm already thinking about getting my lips pierced now."

And Brian's fucking beaming, he's like "well, you know where to come when you wanna do that" and the three of them just spend the rest of the day together.

I do like the idea of Brilex having a totally platonic kink relationship. Like, they never kiss, they don't fuck or get off during the sessions, just have fun with pretty rope, or piercings like this, or wax or literally whatever, y'know? Stuff like that.

God I love the idea of if they lived in the same house or whatever, Brian helping Alex care for his piercings, helping him put saline on them every morning and night and stuff like that, just tenderly holding Alex's chin and tilting his head, tucking his hair carefully behind his ear to keep it out of the way while he swabs a bit of saline over the piercings, praising Alex for how well they're healing, how well he's taking care of them.

OMG QUEERPLATONIC BRILEX, they're not romantic, and they don't kiss or fuck or anything, but they're definitely something other than 'just friends' y'know? Oh they'd be so cute. Bray dating and fucking, then in the morning coming downstairs to hug Alex and have breakfast with him, a big ol' poly QPR :D

[hotasfahrenheit]

my top 10 ql shows of 2024

we're a week into the new year already so i guess i should finally get this list posted 👀👀👀

to make this list, i kept an ongoing note in my phone all year of all the ql shows i watched, and then i sat down a couple days ago (*cough*a week ago*cough) and rearranged them to figure out which ones were my favourites. i didn't have any kind of ranking system going through the year (besides being very sure by the beginning of february what was going to be my absolute favourite of the year- and i was right) so this was all based on the vibes i was feeling about all these shows as i made the list, thinking back on them over the year.

i had JUST finished one of these shows so that's part of why i wanted to let it sit for a few days- make sure my ranking wasn't skewed by the feeling of having finished a show then immediately making the list right after while it was fresher than anything else. a week on, i'm still solid on these. i think. i keep looking at this list and being like "wait, did i really love that show more than this other one? did i? how is that one not in the top 10? wait but the ones above it are also just so good" and if i don't just post a list then i'll never stop fidgeting with it, so here we go!

10 - 4Minutes

was 4Minutes perfect? no, but i enjoyed the twisting layers of narrative and the speculation and discussion around this show so much. there were multiple times i thought i had things about the story figured out, and i kept being close to correct, but it kept finding ways to surprise me anyway.

9 - Love Is A Poison

this show was an unexpected delight in so many ways. it was funny, it was smart, it was wild, it was bonkers, i hope they get to make more of it.

8 - Jack & Joker

the longing, the heists, the shenanigans, the friendships, the everything about this show. it got a lil shaky towards the end but on the whole it was such a fun time, and it's still so incredible and such a triumph that they even got this show made, and i love it forever.

7 - Meet You At The Blossom

ANOTHER TRIUMPH OF A SHOW. so pretty. so splendid. so many long sleeves being waved around. so much nonsense and adventure. a fantastic pairing of characters, a fun side couple, just all around perfection.

6 - Love Sea

does this show get a biased boost in the ranking because i love Fort and Peat so much and even an imperfect show with them in it was going to be something i loved? maybe. possibly. probably. Peat spent the whole time looking expensive and pretty, and Fort spent the whole time looking like he was going to devour him, and they're just so good together. sorry not sorry.

5 - 1000 Years Old

this show gets two gifs, because they're my gifs, and i loved it SO MUCH. definitely a weird little show, but it had so much heart, and the way the story built was incredible, and it was just such a warm, beautiful show about found family and embracing your weirdness and being yourself and also love. all about love. the deepest love, and patience, and being willing to try again no matter how many times it takes. also soup, and so many umbrellas.

4 - My Stand-In

(this gif is from this set i made)

this show. THIS SHOW. the acting, the story, everything about it was absolutely insane and was all-consuming especially towards the ending of it. i love stories with complex, nuanced characters, and i love actors who can make you angry with how good they are at playing terrible people. this show had me shouting in the group chat all the time and it was just such a wild ride. an EXPERIENCE from start to finish.

3 - Love In The Big City

an absolutely stunning work of art. i watched the first two episodes with @poetry-protest-pornography when it first released then we both got busy with life for a bit; i listened to the audiobook at work the last week of December and immediately slammed through the rest of the episodes compulsively. i couldn't stay away. i had to inject it into my being. i'm aware that i interacted with and experienced this story differently than a lot of people i've seen talk about it on here because it didn't resonate with me in all the exact same ways as i am a straight person, and i saw a lot of people talking about how deeply it spoke to them about the queer experience, but the themes of loss and loneliness and searching for purpose and meaning and love were universal enough that this show did a number on my heart and soul and still is echoing in me now.

2 - Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo

another stunning, emotional show. this story had me in its GRIP from the first episode and has still not let me go. it was a rollercoaster and was such a deep tale about forgiveness and finding ways to just live life and how it's never too late for a new beginning. about how sometimes you can't let go of people, and you shouldn't. about being able to find and keep love and joy even through the darkest times and places.

1 - Love For Love's Sake

aslkdfjhalsfkdjhafd obviously. obviously this was my number one. an absolute powerhouse of a story about love and acceptance and being willing to not only help other people take second chances on life, but allowing yourself to as well. about being willing and open to loving and caring for others, and loving and caring for yourself. about taking control of your situation and writing your own future. about love, for love's sake.

THAT'S THE LIST.

everything here is obviously my opinion, if there's a show you're curious about that you loved that you don't see here, comment and i'll tell you where it ended up in my longer list (unless it's something i didn't get to this year!) and let me know how my list compares to your faves!

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Bonus round: honorouble mention - Knock, Knock, Boys!

listen, as much as i loved all the other shows here, i considered making this a top 15 list instead of 10 because i loved this show so much and it didn't feel fair that it wasn't included. it was goofy, it was heartfelt, it was fun the whole way through and i really loved it a whole lot. 15 would have been too many tho, so this just gets an honourable mention at the end instead.

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any gifs in this post that don't have credit under them are ones i made! i don't have the time or energy to make new gifs for every show so i just pulled from things i'd already made and had on my hard drive, or used ones made by others where needed. thanks to the other gif makers whose stuff i used!

[strange-anni]

Yeah I do think that's the reason why they swap. El can't have the pure vanilla flavor bc she is not pure. (Doesn't reflect my personal beliefs) At the same time, Max can't have the Strawberry bc she is not a strawberry, so they switch.

It's just so interesting bc I do believe Will is trying his very best here to recreate history. He's always probably subconsciously trying to recreate all the trauma but do it better this time. To try and find a solution or healing for all the pain that was inflicted upon him. So El orders the vanilla, plain simple and pure and at fist it seems to work but then Max wants so swap ice creams and El is the Strawberry again.

I think that's big theme in the entire show. Will trying over and ever to set things right but in the end he always fails. He's trying to get control over the situation but it's just not working.

I think it's the same for Fred. He lives on Cherry St. and it's another attempt at recreating innocence which is then squashed when Fred is the one telling inappropriate things to Nancy making her feel uncomfortable.

Gosh, you're right with the Poplar Tree! I totally missed that there wasn't an "u" in there haha

But yeah, it does make a lot of sense for Chrissy then. Her life was also really short, she was there fast and just fast she was gone. I do wonder though, considering that Poplar Trees seem to grow after a wildfire and then protect the little seedlings until they take over, if there is a similar meaning for Chrissy? If she also did protect anything which then took over?

I need to think about the one with Patrick too as I'm not sure either but he was part of the basketball team and therefore part of the more popular crowd. Does that have anything to with it? I honestly don't know though.

If Will is "crazy" because he has DID, then how is Mike "crazy"?

That's such a good question! At first I thought Mike has such a huge influence on Will bc they are best friends and he means so much to Will which could still be true tbh. But then again, is there more them both being crazy than just that?

Another reason could be that Mike knows Will has DID even if he doesn't know what it is exactly or why Will has it in the first place.

Then there is the fact that Mike is also always into the supernatural things. He always believes Will and is on his side never doubting him. That in turn made me think of Joyce. Like they are both very similar in that aspect and since you mentioned that Joyce might have schizophrenia, I was thinking what if Mike has it too? And since it's genetic.. could it be that Mike is actually Joyces son? A bit wild of a thought process I admit but yeah, if you look a little deeper into it you can find lots of clues that Will and Mike might have swapped place at one point in there life.. so I don't think it'd be totally out of left field?

Yes Yes absolutely correct! Children need to be given the tools to seek help if they ever experience something like (se*ual) ab*se. There is absolutely no downside to giving then the proper education early on so they know and have the words to tell others if something is not right. And while we're at it, teaching them about consent and the fact they can and should say no when something doesn't feel right to them is also so important.

That could be good reason as to why "he" likes it cold. If Lonnie suffered from hyperthermia it would not surprise me if the house was also constantly cold or not that well heated in winter which would add to his home making Will uncomfortable.

This is the source El finds in the void and it's twofold. It's the father. In this case it's Neil but he's just a stand-in for Lonnie.

The other source is the Steel Works warehouse BRIMBORN but that's not how it is presented to us throughout season 3.

It reads more like BRIMBORN as a shadow covers up the B pretty consistently, making us unable to read it

Warning for discussions of CSA under the cut

We also get the full address of the steelworks warehouse and it's

Brimborn Steelworks 6522 Cherry Oak Drive

This is how where the MF possessed Billy. Cherry Oak Drive

Lonnie also means oak tree

Max also tells us Billys full address

Billy Hargrove 4819 Cherry Lane

Billy lives on Cherry Lane but he lost himself and got possessed by the father at Cherry Oak Drive. A lane to drive on...

Source

Billy was a Cherry Lane at first until he got corrupted in the Cheery Oak Drive

Billy is short for William and a stand-in for Will

We also learn more about cherries and their availability

Hopper says there is no cherry in the 7-Eleven. Apparently they had only strawberry

That's not entirely true tough as we see with Alexei here. In fact it seems like they have only cherry and cola. But Hopper still drove there even though it was way out of his way. So I'm sure he would have gotten cherry if it were there, right?

Well, maybe it's more like an either/or situation with the Seven and the Eleven in which one number is the cherry and the other is the strawberry . Maybe they are mutually exclusive

As we've already seen though, it's Will who is already associated with cherries via association of Billy which in turn can only mean one thing

Eleven is the strawberry

But

In the end there is no difference. Cherry and strawberry taste the same. They are the same. Just sugar on ice

But what's a strawberry anyway?

Source

First of all of this goes with the Will Byers has DID theory.

For the longest time I was convinced that Will created Eleven on the day he vanished in the woods but I don't think that's what has happened any longer. I think she was there long before. Ready to take over whenever Will needed her to use her superpowers to absorb what he couldn't face.

That's why Eleven is a strawberry. She was there ready to save Will whenever Lonnie sold off his son to buy dr*gs. It's why there is still a cola next the cherry in the 7-Eleven. Coca-Cola or just coke. Other sources also say that a Strawberry is a woman who willingly sells se*ual favors to buy dr*gs. (although willingly is hardly the word I would use here)

In the beginning of the first season El could barely speak and was more like a child who didn't understand anything. This was also done for her protection throughout the years I think. The less she understood what happened, the better it is for her (or so the reasoning goes)

But she still understood the most important part