#probably triggering

[luk4695]

tw vent.

have you ever found yourself at a time in your life, where you should be resting and preparing for the future, but you just can't. I felt exhausted and burned out back in May, when college ended. I've had 2 months of vacation already, and have 2 more months ahead of me. I'm lucky enough to not have to work this summer. I thought I'd make the most out of my time. and yet here I am.

on most days, I'm fine. however, that feeling of "fine" is as stable as a horse without its fucking legs. I'm a fucking kid trusted with adult responsibilities like voting and driving, and good thing I have my antidepressants because I would be doomed otherwise. even with antidepressants I'm a mess. the smallest of things can trigger me. oh, I had a hard time driving this morning, guess I have to spend at least half an hour in bed doing nothing to recover, sorry ! and also now I'm too mentally drained to pretend I'm fine. oh sorry you coughed too loud or you were arguing about not receiving your mail so now I have to shutdown mentally. the lights in the supermarket are too strong but I really want to buy stuff so im going to go anyway and then be surprised I'm overwhelmed. sorry the dog is crying too loud. why are you trying to make small take while I'm driving and desperately trying to keep us alive? stop eating food that's been spoiled for a month. stop laughing at my food anxiety. stop deadnaming me when you think I can't hear. stop talking. I want to stay in my bed all day but I'm restless. I feel disgusting but I'm too tired to get myself in the shower. I try to take care of my piercings but I feel like I'm doing a shit job at it. my earphones aren't working right. I want to cry but I've squeezed all the tears out of my body I guess. I spent 2 hours vacuuming and mopping the floors but now my dog has her period. the trash stinks. dishes are piling up. the vape fumes are sticking everywhere. at least I'm alive. at least I did stuff. but it never feels enough. or it feels like I didn't do it good enough. there are people in my live which I love but I don't have the energy rn to be with. I'd be an asshole to them. I need to sort myself out but I have no idea how.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. just getting my antidepressants prescription renewed. I hope the tears will come then. I hope I'll be able to tell someone. anyone. how tired I am.

it's so weird. I'm not at rock bottom anymore. I'm good a lot of the time, but I have moments in the day where I'm just so tired. how am I supposed to go to uni next year? how am I supposed to prepare to study abroad? how am I supposed to learn Spanish on my own? how am I supposed to work a summer job next year? how am I supposed to act cis and straight around most of my family for the foreseeable future? how am I supposed to function in this world, when cleaning my room for an hour is enough to exhaust me? when it's enough to put me out of service for the rest of the day?

meh I'll figure it out I'm sure

[shushmal]

tw: for implied past emotional abuse, im in my feels today

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Hopper growls. He's not quite shouting, but he's still loud, raised voice echoing through the living room. "She's not ready to drive yet, I forbade it, and what? You two decided that you knew better?"

Eddie rolls his eyes, but gamely keeps quiet. He knows Hopper's less upset with Ellie taking a spin through the parking lot and more upset about the property damage. Eddie's on her side though, that phone pole came out of nowhere. Must have been pretty rotted out too, to fall over that easily after a little love tap.

Ellie had done a damn good job fixing the huge dent in the bumper.

But if Hopper wants to be dramatic and chew everyone involved out, Eddie's not going to stop him. Whatever gets the guy's blood pressure back down.

"You're supposed to be responsible adults! Especially you, Steve!"

Rolling his eyes again, Eddie glances over, hoping to share a commiserating look with Steve.

Except Steve isn't looking anywhere but down, shoulders and spine ruler straight. Eddie stalls there, stuck on the way Steve's standing, tense from jaw down to his ankles, his hands balled into tight fists flat at his side, knuckles white. Hopper keeps ranting, pacing a wide circle in front of them, but Steve doesn't flinch, doesn't look up, doesn't react. It's like all the color has washed from him.

"Are you even listening?!"

"Yes, sir," Steve says tightly. He doesn't look up. Hopper keeps going.

Eddie watches as Steve's throat works to swallow, like he's choking. Like he can't breathe.

"Hopper," Eddie snaps. "Shut the fuck up."

Hopper whirls on him, livid, but Eddie's not looking at him, fixed on Steve as he reaches out. Tries to take Steve's hand, just holds his wrist when Steve can't unclench his fist, gentle as he touches him. Steve is tightly wound and trembling under his fingers.

When he looks, Eddie finds Hopper with deep regret on his face, struck silent. He doesn't say anything when Eddie leads Steve away, back out onto the porch. They sit on the swing, Eddie's arm around Steve's shoulders, rocking back and forth until the muscles loosen and Steve slumps, strings cut, into Eddie's side. They'll sit like that for a while more, watching the woods as the sun sets and listening to the dusk settle, crickets and cicadas and chats calling the moon up, filling their silence with nighttime music.

Later, Hopper will come out, temper cooled, and sit on Steve's other side. Will ruffle Steve's hair when Steve starts to stiffen. Will apologize when Steve eyes him warily.

Later, Eddie will scowl and glare, but ultimately keep quiet, unwilling to make the whole thing worse for Steve, another fight, another shouting match. Will stiltedly tell Hopper good night and take Steve home, wait patiently until Steve finally speaks, when he finally tells Eddie a little more and a little more, until Eddie's holding him tight.

That's later though. For now, he digs his heel into the porch, rocking them back and forth, and waits for Steve to breathe.

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it���s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[thatbitchsimone]

im fucking fuming over this i cant even lie like what the actual fuck is this. straight up evil behavior. also good job literally flat out admitting amber was indeed abused by depp since u fully acknowledged that she suffers from ptsd and that the ptsd is directly related/linked to him. literally just proudly telling us that ”yeah i knew he had abused amber and that amber has ptsd from it so i decided that we should try to give her panic attacks and just totally torment her like wouldnt it be so funny to give her flashbacks so she feels like shes being raped again lol she will look so craaazyyy” like honestly kill urself

[nittroy]

When space whale design so good you can't just steal it to your own cosmoopera story so you have to draw your first fanart in years and revive your tumblr art blog to post it

[other version and image description under the cut!]

Ezra version ♡

[ID: A horizontal artwork showing Exra Bridger from season 2 of Star Wars: Rebels and the group of space whales, Purgil. The purgil are floating in space and one of them, closest to the viewing point, is positioned so that its eye coincides with one of Ezra's eyes. Their eyes are shining teal blue. Ezra is depicted in a somewhat abstract way, he stands waist high and the space behind him, but behind the whales.

In the second version of the image, Ezra is in the foreground, while the Purgil is only in the background. He is standing and holding his lightsaber, looking somewhat lost in thought. ]

[sunderwight]

Demon Shen Jiu is such a fun idea though.

Especially if he himself doesn't know. Like imagine, Yue Qi finds this abandoned baby and the baby is REALLY OBVIOUSLY not human. But this also enables Shen Jiu to survive being abandoned at such a young age -- a human baby would die without adequate nutrition or care, but demons are a little more resilient. Baby Demon SJ has a way more forgiving digestive system and can move under his own power from a much earlier age. By the time he's a year old he's hunting his own rodents and small birds, and has to be stopped from biting and mauling anyone he doesn't like. Which is most people. Qi-ge develops amazing reflexes.

Why do the slavers tolerate a demon baby hanging around? Maybe it's really not all that uncommon. Demons come across the borderlands from time to time, and are as liable to abandon their kids or die or etc as anyone else. It's maybe an open secret among slavers that demon-blooded kids are a better investment, even, because they can survive for longer on less. The only downside is if they don't ever look human enough to pass as human, because that limits potential buyers, but that's only relevant when the slavers are trying to sell them. For the purposes of having a network of street kids stealing and grifting and spying and etc, it's fine. A lot of the slavers themselves started out as demon-blooded street kids with no other options.

But in SJ's case, he pretty quickly starts passing as human. Mostly because he's quite strong, and he's convinced that he's the same as his Qi-ge, so he makes himself the same. Makes his hands look the same and his teeth look the same and etc. It's largely subconscious, and once he starts doing it, it becomes automatic. SJ forgets that he's a demon in the way that most people don't retain their earliest childhood memories -- although he remembers that some of the slavers were demons.

Then of course there's the question of why didn't the Cang Qiong cultivators notice?

A few options. One is that whatever kind of demon SJ is, it's really good at mimicking humans. Another is that he's only part demon, and like Luo Binghe, fully capable of handling both kinds of cultivation. So once he starts learning spiritual cultivation, even from a heretic like Wu Yanzi, he doesn't seem different from any other recruit with a patchy education on the subject. Anything else odd about him could be easily attributed to his exposure to Wu Yanzi and his wicked practices.

Although full demon SJ is a fascinating idea. (Also, it could contribute to all those qi deviations -- he's trying to cultivate AND "fake" human cultivation at the same time, I doubt Qing Jing's techniques are totally compatible with everything going on there even without the psychological turmoil.) Like I'd imagine Airplane wrote that SJ was abandoned on the streets as a baby, and the system was like "hmm he probably wouldn't survive that?" and then in some nine billionth wife arc, Airplane also creates a variety of demon that can fully pass as human (for some identity conflict with a prospective wife), even to the point of fooling human cultivators and demon-detecting tools. So the system just ties these two disparate pieces of world-building together in order to patch a critical plothole (Airplane doesn't know anything about babies). Which has the side effect that Shang Qinghua doesn't even know that SJ became a demon!

And SJ himself doesn't know. The only person who knows is Yue Qi.

Obviously this wouldn't come up much in PIDW, but it could be pretty funny in the SVSSS timeline. YQY just sitting there through the whole Luo Binghe being a half-demon reveal, wondering if he should say something. Subsequently being the most absolutely chill about the whole demon reveal thing anyway. Like he's definitely not upset that Luo Binghe is a demon, or part demon, and the multiple people who try to make a point about it just run afoul of his impenetrable smile and get nowhere.

Then eventually Yue Qingyuan decides that he should probably tell Bingqiu that Shen Qingqiu is a demon. For like, safety purposes if nothing else. He's kept the secret so long also for safety purposes (even if someone put Shen Qingqiu under a truth compulsion he wouldn't be able to admit to being a demon, because he himself doesn't know!), and he's done tons of stuff to prevent anyone ever finding out (although Xiao Jiu is so talented that he didn't have to do much), but Luo Binghe is the demon emperor. That changes things. If Shen Qingqiu is going to be visiting the demon kingdoms regularly then there's a chance something could reveal the truth unexpectedly, and that would probably be worse.

So Yue Qingyuan sits down and has a very serious discussion with Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe about how Shen Qingqiu is actually a demon, was just the cutest little demon baby in fact, here he drew a picture from memory of what Xiao Jiu used to look like before he learned to look more human, and also how a lot of slave kids and slavers and people who fall through the cracks in society have demon ancestry, some more recent than others, and Shen Qingqiu always retained a certain discomfort around his own kind because of the adult slavers who sold him off, and etc etc.

[tekatonic]

huh, Princess Elise is looking a lil different today

[cubbihue]

Wait why wouldn't Timmy recommend godkids becoming a fairy like I sorta get that it's less food for fairy's or smt and that it's a long process but the way you worded it ( "knowing what he knows no he would never do that or smt) sounded like it was something else, just kinda ominous idk I'm probably just reading too into it

A claimed child must become a fairy, and fairies must have wings and floaty crowny things. To ensure true devotion to the process, the Fairy Council forbids any fairy from helping, interacting, or being near the child throughout the transformation. The child must want to become a fairy for it to be permanent.

This is the third consequence of becoming a fairy.

After going through such an experience, Timmy is very determined that no other child be taken. They say it's the knowledge that makes people go mad, but Timmy argues it's the changes itself that is maddening. He's lucky he had such a strong mental fortitude to withstand it!!

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[goodluckdetective]

I finished the Hbomber guy video and as someone who pays quite a bit of attention to grifters, I think there’s a solid chance that James will re-appear after his silence with a right wing pivot on how the “tolerant left canceled” him and “betrayed” him and he makes reaction videos just dunking on them.

I don’t want to be right here, but it isn’t an uncommon pivot, so I thought it best to state it for the record and hope Apollo’s dodgeball does not hit me.

[stefisdoingthings]

silence

also this is from Wolfwood's POV (in case it isn't clear) i have 0 normal thoughts (every song ever is VW)

[daikunart]

[gin-juice-tonic]

I know theres a tumblr post of this scene but I cant find it so. Low quality video upload for you. (Youtube wouldnt let me post it directly, but heres the video I got it from.)

[racke7]

Ectoplasm and Jason Todd

Danny is wandering around Gotham (visiting, chasing a ghost, running from GIW, attending college, etc) and stumbles across Jason.

Jason who is flaring his ecto-signature like a madman (is he trying to get into trouble?).

Danny drags the guy into a nearby alley to give the guy some kind of crash-course on how not to do that.

Jason isn't sure why this guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley, but if it's a fight he wants, Jason would be able to fight more freely in an alley, so he doesn't struggle. (Does he know that Jason is Red Hood? Does he think that Jason is a random civilian? Is it just him, or does this guy have really cold hands?)

Jason isn't sure why this guy is now trying to... ask him to meditate? The fuck is going on? But if it's not a fight, then... maybe it's fine to just listen to the weirdo? Taking a few deep breaths isn't going to hurt him.

Danny is very proud of himself for guiding the ecto-flaring guy through how to not flare his ecto-signature. He's such a good teacher.

And then Jason collapses.

Turns out, Jason has been using his anger to create a feedback-loop that artificially raises his ectoplasm-levels.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to live, but they'll also produce ectoplasm when feeling strong emotions. For most ghosts, this a bit like saying "everyone needs a good cry every now and then". For Jason, he's been basically aiming a gun at his own face for the adrenaline-rush. Constantly.

So, Danny is now holding onto a barely-conscious person who desperately needs more ectoplasm. As in, this is a medical emergency, and every second probably counts.

Danny, being that he wasn't planning on needing to carry around some kind of ectoplasm-container at all times (who the fuck does that? His parents, that's who), is now desperately trying to problem-solve this.

Danny realizes that, actually, even in his human form? Danny has a lot of ectoplasm in his body. Enough that he could probably save this guy by... feeding him his blood.

Cue intimately sexy reverse-vampire scene.

And oh boy, if Danny's blood doesn't taste fantastic to Jason's ecto-starved self.

[marty--party]

i have SO much shit to do with vacation packing, artfight prep AND making a portfolio for a zine, but i really wanted to get this out before i left! happy late birthdays to danganronpa's assigned-queer-at-birth characters 🎂🎉

[tiger-grace]

Dick: I don’t think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, Damian

Damian: damn 😕

[ao3-crack]

(x)