#probably thinking “how great we got out of that loop!”

[shock-micro]

anyone ever have the urge to put a character in a time loop to see what happens. what sorts of self-reflection and discovery would they do with all that time. what would they try, knowing it's a time loop? would they stay strong? when would they break?

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt5

Danny groggily propped himself up as he heard the loud bang of his door being thrown open

"DANIEL VLADIMIR FENTON!"

Blinking a few times to get the sleep out of his eyes, Danny glared at Tucker, "Middle name? Really?" He hated it, so very much, hated that he thought it was cool when he was a kid, and hated it so much more after the portal incident, it wasn't enough for his parents to have Vlad be his godfather, Danny's middle name had to be that fruitloops as well.

Damn his parents for being such caring friends.

Tucker met Danny's glare as he crossed his arms in the doorway into Danny's room

He would cut an intimidating figure if Danny didn't know him, suit and tie perfectly pressed with a PDA held in one hand.

"I know you said that you got the Bats at the diner place thingy you are working at now last night, but did you have to call them out? Red Robin and Oracle have been trying to track you for the last 5 hours, I have had to summon Technus in the WE employee bathrooms! Thank God Mr Wayne included baby changing stations in each stall or I would have had to carve a sigil into the fucking wall! And I think *he* bricked the Batcomputor!" Tucker screeched as he paced the clear area of Danny's messy room

Scrubbing at his eyes, Danny sat up fully, more awake than he was a minute ago, "S-sorry? Didn't really think about them being sore bitches about it, I tagged them like once and set it online, they probably get hundreds of tags an hour. How was is supposed to know that they would read it?"

Tucker snarled, holding out his PDA for Danny to see "Not just Nightwing and Red Robin, half the God damn Young Justice team, The Titans are all over Nightwing, and all the rest of the bats are laughing their asses off! Look!"

<@Superboy_(the_hot_one)

[@not-that-red-robin.real wow Rob, if I knew u were broke I would have have asked Lexie to give u some cash]

<@Beep-Beep!_(official-Impluse)

[ @not-that-red-robin.real that's not very lit fam Gucci of u RR not very rizztastic and definitely isn't skibidi

@living-legend(Yes_that_wondergirl)

<@not-that-red-robin.real for fucking shame Red Themyscira has laws for bitches like you comere I am gonna cut off your thumbs.

Letting out a laugh, Danny was grinning as he scrolled through to Nightwings part.

<@theonetrueblueborg

[@.realwing: it's giving "my daddys rich and will take the bill" wing]

<@veggiemonster

[@.realwing: bro

:BRO

:Broooooooooooo]

<@Goth (Taylor's version)

[@.realwing: shame.]

Danny was full on laughing now, ad from what he could see through tears, so was Tucker, standing up with a weaze, "O-oh my Ancients....ugh t-that is just great"

Letting out a few more chuckles, Danny handded the PDA over to his friend, "I am sorry about getting the Bats aware of me, but I am not sorry for calling them toxic thinks."

Tucker sighed, running his forehead but still had a smile on his face, "You do know #NightwingsAssIsCancelled is trending right now?"

Danny couldn't hold back the cackle that shot through him at that.

---

Tim held his head in his hands, above him was his laptop, cycling through rebooting and then crashing, it had been five minutes so far, and if the last cycle had told him anything it would be up to that for another five minutes.

Groaning, Tim dragged himself up, he hadn't slept much last night, spending most of it trying (and failing) to get any information on the employee of Big C's, Danny nolastname he could find.

That was part of the problem, anytime he got even a smidgen close, it was like someone bitchsmacked him away. Even Babs was having trouble, she got a single thing before getting locked out of her own systems with baby shark playing on loop through her speakers.

He didn't know what to feel, humiliated that he was being actively cock blocked for information or excited since this is the first time in a while something was so difficult! The bear fact that he was being blocked so hard meant that there was something to block with this kid!

Stumbling down to the dining room, Tim didnt spare the table of his family a glance until he had gotten the pre-made cup of coffee from Alfred, letting the bitter drink wake him fully.

Finally turning to the family at large, he saw Bruce doing his best impression of a stone statue (Normal Damian was openingly glaring at him (slightly less normal), Dick was face down in a bowl of cereal (vaugly normal) and Cass was giggling while putting clips and sparkling things into Dicks hair (okay back to normal again)

Sitting in his spot across from Damian, Tim sighed, which seemed to be enough for Damian to go off on him.

"Are we paupers Drake? Has the CEO position at WE pay so little? And what of your own company? I was unaware that Drake Industries has fallen on such hard times!" Damians words rolled out like a lazy river, smooth and uncaringly cold.

"Oh my God, I am already planning on going back tonight and settling the fucking tab Dami, lay off it." Getting the expected "language" statement from both Bruce and Alfred, Tim drained his coffee cup, not so slamming it down but close to it before Damian could respond.

Eyes shooting to Bruce he huffed, "Meeting. Vlad Masters. One ish hours away."

Bruce's eyes shot to Alfred who only raised a brow at the two and Bruce stiffened "We can speak later in my Study Tim, eat something other than coffee and we can go do that." Getting a nod from Alfred, Bruce seemed to deflate with a sigh.

Grumbling, Tim picked at the plate of food Alfred placed in front of him, before forcing himself to eat, he would need energy more than coffee.

After managing to finish half his plate, Tim stood, "Come on, I need yo clue you in to somethings I was researching last night B..."

---

Bruce stayed silent as he sat down in his office, a tablet on his lap as he went through the test results once again.

"...are you saying me and Dick had Lazarus water laden food last night?" Tim said with frigid calmness

Biting back the urge to clam up and try and keep his son from worrying, Bruce nodded, "Trace amounts yes, I am unsure of its origins, the samples I was able to pull were much more pure than we are used to. How are you feeling?"

He watched as Tim held his face in his hands, massaging his temples before speaking, "Fine really? A little tired, appetite isn't there but that's normal...been feeling a strange sensation in my side but that is just likely phantom pain."

Noting everything down, Bruce nodded slowly, "Dick mentioned that he was still full feeling after a night's sleep and that some old wounds were feeling strange, I can only assume you are feeling your splenectomy scar?"

Sighing at Tim's agreement, Bruce noted a few more things down, making holding the last line to ask Damian if he had any knowledge on eating food effected by the pits, and another one not to tell Jason about this all in case it triggers something in him

"Putting that aside, B, what about Masters? Vladco makes medical stuff right? Shady business practices?" Bruce gave a grunt, switching the tabs on his pad to show him thr information on Vladimir Masters.

"Age 48, male, standing 6'1, weighs about 180, doctorate in theoretical quantum mechanics, had a lab incident preparing for a theise that left him hospitalized for some time, after he recovered and graduated is when his suspected criminal activities began, since then he has had several business owners simply sign their lively hoods to him...I suspect he is Meta with some sort of mind control abilities, the lab accident would make sense in awakening his Mets gene."

Bruce spoke as he handed the tablet over to Tim, "He sponsors several scientists with various types of study, two that stick out are Doctors Fenton and CADMUS."

Tim pulled a face as he followed along through the tabs of research "CADMUS? Really? So we are looking at some Midwestern millionaire that is totally not a supervillian in the making...what's up with the Fentons?" Handing the tablet back Tim flopped down into the chair opposite to Bruce.

"I am trying to figure that out, so far I know they went to school with Masters, and were there with him during the lab accident, the continual funding Masters is giving them makes me suspect they are just as involved in what ever Masters is to to..." Bruce was going to continue when there was a knock on the study door, and Alfred poked his head in.

"If you wish to be on time to your meeting, I would suggest Master Timothy get dressed now so you both might be in the car while I drive it to Wanye Towers."

Bruce frowned, but nodded, giving time a small smirk as the teen begins to realize he is just in a winkled t shirt that Bruce was 95% sure was Conners, and a pair of shorts that Bruce was very sure were Barts.

[alwaysurvalentine]

scary movie marathon - st fic

Written for Day 27 of @steddie-spooktober prompt: scary movies - wc: 1.6k - cw: some cussing

enjoy! 💛

Steve’s idea of a great date night? Scary movie marathon. If you pick the right movies, your date will hide their face in your shoulder and you have an excuse to hold onto them for the duration. If you’re lucky, you might even get them in your lap where you can provide some distraction.

At least, this is how things typically worked when Steve went on dates with the girls of Hawkins High. He should’ve expected that, like most things with Eddie, that wouldn’t be the case with the other boy. When he’d first suggested the movie night, Eddie had assumed it was a group thing and started talking to Robin about what movies she was going to bring. Luckily, Robin can read Steve’s mind, and also his rapid signaling behind Eddie, so she made up an excuse on why she was busy that night. Eddie had shrugged and turned to Steve with a smirk that sent butterflies straight to Steve’s stomach. 

~

The night had come faster than Steve expected and he eyed the movies in his front seat warily when he pulled up to Eddie’s trailer. He knew the other boy would probably like anything they watched, a huge fan of any and all horror no matter how bad. But Eddie also had a habit about seeing Steve more than other people. What if he realized something about him that Steve didn’t mean to reveal? What if he thought the movies he chose were dumb? Or too mainstream to be considered bad enough to loop back to good? This was a terrible idea. Steve’s hand rested on his gear shift, ready to put it in reverse and call Eddie with a fake illness cover story when the boy in question stepped out of the trailer and waved. 

Steve had just gotten used to the black jeans and leather jacket Eddie normally wore, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the cropped Black Sabbath shirt displaying the underneath of Eddie’s chest all the way to his navel. The sunset painted the scars adorning his stomach into a soft pink, like a gentle swoop of a paint brush. Steve’s own matching scars never looked so soft, instead red and angry any time he caught a glance of them in the mirror. Eddie’s grin sharpened as he approached Steve’s car, brown eyes alight with something when he cracked open Steve’s door.

“Cat got your tongue there, Stevie?” 

If blinks were audible, Steve knows his would’ve been deafening. “Whatever Eddie, hope you’re ready to be scared.” He didn’t dare to look at Eddie when he grabbed the movies, scared the older boy would know what he was thinking. 

“Ha! Me, scared? I’m a connoisseur of horror, a weaver of terrible tales, it takes a lot to scare the likes of me!” A cartoonish evil laugh erupted from Eddie as he walked forward, sliding his slippers off at the front door. The trailer felt just as welcoming as it had done all the times before, but now there were orange string lights covering the wall behind the TV and it smelled distinctly of popcorn.

In seemed in the time it had taken Steve to go home and change, Eddie had set up a full array of snacks for them. Popcorn in one bowl, M&Ms in another, even a bag of red vines sat to the side. “I, uh, wasn’t sure what you’d want to drink. We have coke and beer.” Eddie cringes at his words, though Steve can’t imagine why, and he’s already heading to the kitchen.

“I’ll just have what you’re having.” The fridge door opens and Steve sets his movies on the table, eyes catching on the starting menu for The Fly. Eddie comes back with two opened beers, passing Steve’s over by the neck before taking a quick swig of his own. 

“Okay, so we’re starting with one of the best horror movies ever.” 

~

“What the fuck?! Eddie, what the fuck?” Steve can’t look at the screen anymore, the transformation from man to fly sending his stomach into a riot. He’s tucked his face behind his hands and leaned towards Eddie like that’ll save him from the screen. Which is when he notices Eddie’s got an arm around his shoulders and he can feel him laughing against him. How did he not realize Eddie using his own moves against him?

“I know. It’s fucked up isn’t it? And the special effects are so good!” Eddie almost sounds excited, which would be nice if Steve couldn’t hear the sound of Jeff Goldblum’s character losing the last of his humanity. He gags and covers his ears instead, leaning fully into Eddie and turning his head towards the cologne he can smell on Eddie’s neck instead of the screen. 

“It’s disgusting is what it is.” Steve’s breath ghosts over Eddie’s collarbone and he swears he can see the moment Eddie’s heart starts beating faster. Interesting. He’s hopeful so Steve leans closer and feels Eddie’s arm tighten incrementally around him. 

“Steve?” He nods against the metalhead’s neck, newly focused on figuring out just what the older boy smells like under the cigarette smoke that follows him around. “Can I say something crazy?” Eddie’s tense as he talks, arm slipping from Steve’s shoulders so he can reach for the remote. “I mean, maybe it’s not crazy compared to you know, the entire Upside Down and like the last four years of your life. But it’s a big deal to me. Robin said you were fine with her, and clearly you are because she’s like your whole soulmate. Platonic, I know.” 

All of the air is stuck in Steve’s lungs, making his chest tight and he’s just waiting for the pit in his stomach to swallow him whole. He’s opened his mouth to speak a couple of times but nothing is coming out – Eddie’s drowning in a sea of insecurities and he’s doing nothing to help. 

“Okay. I’m just going to spit it out. I’m gay and I have the biggest crush on you.” 

I have the biggest crush on you.

Steve can breathe again. His cheeks are hot and he knows if he looked in a mirror they’d be bright pink. 

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s quiet enough in the trailer that Steve can hear when Eddie chokes on his inhale. 

“..what?” Eddie’s shoulders aren’t tense anymore, and he tilts his head at Steve with furrowed brows. He almost looks like a puppy. 

“Sorry, yeah, totally cool with the gay thing. Even more on board with the crush thing, so can I kiss you?” 

Eddie’s still just looking at Steve with wide, brown eyes. 

Alright, that’s fine, Steve can close the distance. Steve leans forward slowly and brushes the curls away from Eddie’s face, watches his eyes go wide with wonder before leaning in. Their noses bump when their lips first meet but then Eddie tilts his head and Steve’s world with it. Eddie’s hands come up to cup Steve’s jaw, cold rings sending sparks along his face and Steve smiles into the kiss. They part for a moment, matching grins on their faces. After a beat, Eddie leans in again and Steve shifts closer on the couch. 

As soon as he starts shifting, Eddie’s hands start tugging him closer until Steve’s straddling the older boy’s black jean clad lap. Steve boxes him in easily, resting slightly on Eddie’s lap to change the angle again. Eddie nips at his lip, gaining full access to his mouth when Steve gasps at the sensation. The sounds of the movie have completely faded now, Steve more focused on the soft smacking of their lips when they disconnect and meet again. 

The need for air causes them to part, but Eddie doesn’t go far, tucking his face into Steve’s neck. If it wasn’t for how warm Steve was already feeling, he might’ve been able to feel the warmth from the blush on Eddie’s face. Instead he feels Eddie’s lips against his skin as the metalhead murmurs. “Holy shit. Holy shit. Am I dreaming right now?”

“Not a dream, baby. If it wasn’t obvious, I have a huge crush on you too.”

Eddie leans more into Steve’s neck, placing a kiss at his pulse point. A couple more kisses are placed on Steve’s neck and he feels himself melt into Eddie’s lap. He feels Eddie’s hands clench slightly at the movement and then they slip under his shirt, fingertips pressing gently at Steve’s lower back and hips. A gasp escapes him when Eddie nibbles at his neck, teeth pulling at the skin in a way that Steve knows will leave a mark. 

For a moment he imagines the older boy leaving different marks on him and lending him his signature leather jacket for everyone knows who Steve belongs to. But Steve’s getting ahead of himself, this is only their first kiss. There’s no guarantee that Eddie wants this to be a serious thing. 

“Sweetheart?” When Steve glances down, Eddie’s pupils are still blown slightly even though his eyebrows are scrunched in confusion. “Did you hear me?” He must see his answer in Steve’s eyes because the confusion leaves and Steve’s looking at the softest expression he thinks he’s ever seen. 

“I asked if you wanted to be my boyfriend?” There’s an edge to Eddie’s voice and his hands tighten for a moment before loosening again. As though he’s worried about Steve’s answer, like Steve’s not already on the precipice of falling in love with he boy in front of him.

“Only if you let me take you on an official date.” All of the tension leaves Eddie and he grins, leaning up towards Steve again.

“I think I can agree with that.” 

And what else is Steve supposed to do but lean in for another kiss?

[aestheticaltcow]

The Night When It Went Wrong

Finally, part two to the Six Months multiverse.

More parts coming soon...

MDNI 18+

The Bear Masterlist

Previous part Next part

Carmy walked toward a modest white-paneled house with a long brick walkway. A knot formed in the back of his throat as he walked up the steps to Selena’s front door. This was a mistake. He could turn back now, drive home to you and Mia, and pretend this had never happened. He'd pushed the doorbell before he could stop and think about what this would mean for his relationship. 

Selena opened the door quickly. She stood in the doorframe wearing a cropped white t-shirt and the same pair of lacy panties she’d been wearing in the picture she’d sent meer hours ago. She greeted Carmy with an overly seductive look. He swallowed and looked her up and down as she reached out to hook a finger in a belt loop of the Dickies he’d worn to work that day. She pulled him into her house quickly, closing the door behind him. She pushed Carmy against the closed door and pressed her lips to his. Carmy was cautious but felt it melt away when Selena’s fingers tangled in the roots of his hair; her lips were different from yours, but the desire behind them was intoxicating. Carmy felt a chill go down his spine when his hands moved to Selena’s hips to pull her body closer to his. 

She ended the heated make-out session and pulled Carmy upstairs and down a short hallway. Before entering what Carmy assumed to be Selena’s bedroom, he noticed the framed pictures on the wall. They were the typical pictures you’d see in a family home, although one stuck out: Selena in a princess-y white dress next to a tall man in military regalia. “You’re married?” Carmy questioned.

Selena quickly shook her head, “I’m divorced. My husband cheated on me after I had our kid- he was a shitty husband, but he’s a great Dad.” Carmy nodded, and a wave of guilt crashed over him. He was being a shitty husband. 

Once in her bedroom, Selena took charge and pushed Carmy onto her bed. She straddled Carmy’s hips and yanked at the hem of his shirt. He followed her lead and allowed her to remove his shirt and throw it across the room before putting his hands on her face to bring her lips to his. Selena pushed her tongue into Carmy’s mouth and felt herself gag at the overpowering taste of tobacco and artificial spearmint- how she hadn’t tasted it before was unbeknownst to her. She pushed his forearms down to the mattress beneath their bodies and moved to kiss down his jaw. Carmy moaned softly when her lips pressed against his collarbone. 

Selena sat on her heels as she pulled Carmy’s pants down his thighs. Carmy swallowed and closed his eyes when he felt Selena’s hand grasp the base of cock. As she stroked him and licked at his tip, both of them realized that he wasn’t… excited to be there with her. Selena huffed and stood up abruptly, “Am I not hot enough for you or something!” she angrily stared down at Carmy, crossing her arms over her chest. Carmy sighed and pulled his boxers and pants up in one swift movement.

“I can’t do this,” he said, avoiding eye contact at all costs. He stood up and grabbed his shirt from the floor before quickly exiting her bedroom. He couldn’t make out what Selena was yelling as he exited her house, the only thing on his mind was you and Mia.

Carmy pulled his shirt on as he got into the driver’s seat of his car. He saw his phone in the cup holder where he’d left it. The screen was illuminated with texts you’d sent between his arrival at Selena’s house and now.

Where are you?? I’m sorry for blowing up at you We should probably talk Can’t sleep without you… come home soon, Carm I love you, even if I’m mad at you

“Fuck.” Carmy laughed as he turned on his car. He pushed a hand through his hair and quickly turned on the radio before turning his phone off. He tossed it in the passenger’s seat before quickly driving down the suburban street lit with the occasional street light. Carmy couldn’t go home to you right now. He needed to get his head straight. Did he just cheat on you? He didn’t have sex with Selena- he couldn’t have even if he’d wanted to. Carmy drove through the downtown streets of Chicago for a couple of hours before deciding to go to work when he saw it was almost 4 AM. 

Carmy unlocked the door to the kitchen and turned on the lights before walking to his locker. He changed his shirt before going into the office to try and get a couple hours of sleep before the produce delivery came in. 

~

The night came and went, you couldn’t sleep. While you’d been upset with Carmy’s comments the night before, you’d grown accustomed to him sleeping beside you. When you’d rolled over that morning to see him missing, dread and guilt washed over you. You checked your phone to see he hadn’t texted you back. What if he was dead? He was tired when he’d come home from work last night. What if he fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed his car or drove into the Chicago River? You groaned and decided to call off work that day. The last thing you wanted to do was go into the office to edit some documentary about butterfly migration.

As the morning went by, you felt your anxiety increase. You still hadn’t heard from Carmy and you couldn’t shake the intrusive thoughts of him being hurt and alone. “Okay Mia. We’re goin’ to Grandma’s house!” you faked your enthusiasm hoping Mia hadn’t picked up on your energy, or notice that Carmy hadn’t been home all morning. You shot Carmy another text and threw your phone into your purse before picking Mia up out of her highchair. She squirmed in your arms as you unlocked your car from the front porch. 

After strapping Mia into her car seat and offering her a pacifier, which was promptly spit out, you laughed and kissed her cheek before walking around to the other side of the car. You took a deep breath as you sat in the driver’s seat for a moment; Mia happily babbled to herself as you pushed your hands through your hair. You grabbed your phone out of your bag and texted your Mom, asking if the two of you could come by. She immediately responded, demanding you get there ASAP. You shook your head as a soft smile came to your face. 

As you pulled into your Mom’s driveway, you saw her step onto the porch. She waved excitedly and came to help with Mia as you turned the car off. “There’s my girls!” she smiled as you exited the car. “Hey, Mommy.” You greeted her and watched as she walked around the car to get Mia from her car seat. Mia squealed as your Mom peppered kisses on her cheek.

“Let’s get this little princess inside. Coffee?” she offered. You nodded and followed her inside, locking the car before entering your childhood home. As the two of you entered the kitchen, you couldn’t help but notice the framed pictures on the wall. You and your siblings throughout the years, pictures of your nieces and nephews, when you saw a picture from your and Carmy’s wedding, your breath hitched. Your Mom noticed immediately. She balanced Mia on her waist and shot you a look, “Are you okay, peanut?” 

You looked up to see her face softened with concern. You shook your head, trying to hold back your tears. “Uh, Carmy and I got in a fight last night… he left and didn’t come home… now he isn’t answering his phone. I'm tempted to go down to the restaurant, but I don’t like mixing our relationship problems in with all that—I just—I just feel like such a fuckin’ failure, Mommy.” you confessed as you quickly blinked away the tears that had welled up in your eyes. “Hey. You’re not a failure. Get in here.” your Mom cooed, gesturing for you to hug her with her free arm. You frowned and closed the space between the two of you. 

As you rested your head on her shoulder, little fingers pulled at your hair. You laughed, feeling a little bit better. You looked at Mia to have her hand brushed against your forehead. “Thank you, princess.” You grinned, breaking away from the hug before taking the baby from your Mom’s arms. You held her close to your body as you watched your Mom pour coffee into two matching bunny mugs. 

“Do you want me to watch Mia for a couple days?” you shook your head at your Mom’s initial offer. “Mom, I couldn’t—" you were interrupted by your Mom insisting that it would be no problem and that she wanted to spend more time with her granddaughter before she could talk back. You sighed and reluctantly agreed. The two of you hung out for a bit before you decided to go home and wait for Carmy.

Natalie was doing paperwork in the office when her phone buzzed.

Carmy’s at the restaurant, right?

Yea Is everything okay?

Yeah He just isn’t answering his phone

Want me to kick his ass? I might be pregnant, but I can take him

Lol Just annoy him for me but like subtly…

She laughed at the text chain and slipped her phone into her pocket as she got up from her chair. She poked her head into the kitchen to see Carmy prepping vegetables for the night's special menu. “Bear? Can you come in here for a sec?” she asked, disguising her intention well enough not to raise suspicion in him. He looked up at her to say, “Give me a minute,” before returning to his chopping.

 Natalie nodded and leaned against the desk. A moment later, Carmy came in, wiping his hands against his apron. “Yo. You good?” he questioned, looking at the apathetic look on his sister’s face. She shrugged, “Why aren’t you talking to your wife?” 

Carmy rolled his eyes, “Sugar. It’s really none of your business.” 

Natalie clicked her tongue and gave Carmy ‘the look.’ The one that said she knew something was going on, and if he wouldn’t tell her, she’d find out one way or another. Carmy sighed and closed the door to the office before leaning against it, “Okay. I fucked up.” he scoffed, pushing a hand through his hair. Natalie shot him a perplexed look and crossed her arms over her chest. “Y/N and I haven’t… since the baby came,” Carmy said, gesturing toward Natalie, hoping he wouldn’t have to delve too far into his sex life with her. Natalie grimaced at the thought and nodded softly, signaling Carmy to continue explaining the last 24 hours, “So last night was the boiling point, I guess? Um- I uh- I blew up at her a little bit and uh left.”

Carmy scratched the back of his neck questioning himself, should he tell his sister the full truth of what he did? He knew she’d tell you in a heartbeat. Maybe he could convince her to let him tell you before she took the lead. “I uh… I sorta- I sorta fuck.” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. He stared at the floor, biting the inside of his cheek. “Natalie, I cheated on her.”

~

Tag list @namjoons-crabssss @sl-ut @thottae @cuddlehye @prurose @1184p @chaoticfanficfanx @ok-boke @literatureluster @bxtchopolis @americanprometheuss @buckystwilight @earth-elemental18 @thebearlily @siren-melodies @thel0v3hashira143 @innercreationflower @unpoqu1todetodo

[lustfulslxt]

ok, hear me out. so reader decides to try out the red nail theory and shows them to matt, and he freaking adores them, but adores the marks they leave on his back even more😏😏idk if you dont wanna thats completely fine, but i just got red nails for the holidays and all i can think about is scratching up matts back...

Say Thanks - Matt Sturniolo

warnings : smut, filthy matthew

—

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten my nails done, and I so badly want to go get them done right now. However, bills exist and with my roommate moving out, everything’s been piled on top of me all at once. It’s stressful to say the least, but I just need to find my footing. It’s not that I can’t afford it, I just have a really bad spending habit, that I didn’t realize is an actual issue until a couple of weeks ago. I used to just work, pay my portion of the bills, save a bit of money, then blow the rest of it on whatever I wanted. Now, I just have to learn to budget.

Saying that, I’ve not really been going out of my way to splurge on things that make me feel good. I’ll get back to eventually, but unfortunately, I can’t afford to right now.

Despite knowing that I should focus on getting my money right, I can’t help but look into my spare cash, crossing my fingers in hopes that I have enough. Before I can even begin counting, my phone flashes and vibrates, indicating I have a new notification.

Matt sent you $100 for your nails❣️.

My eyes widen, a gasp leaving my mouth as I read the words displayed on the screen. Immediately, I’m facetiming Matt.

“Hey.” He answers, instantly, a knowing grin on his lips.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me mister. Why did you just send me money?” I question, glaring at him through the screen.

“Hmm. I’m pretty sure I said it’s for your nails.” He answers, then continues, “You can say you don’t need it all you want, but I know how bad you’ve been wanting to get them done. And if you haven’t, then you just can’t right now. Which is why I wanna do it for you.”

“Matt-“

He cuts me off, “Y/N, shut up and accept my offering. Come over after you get them done?”

“Fine.” I sigh, giving in.

“Great, I can’t wait to see them. Maybe then you can show me just how thankful you are.” He suggests, his lips wide with a smirk.

My jaw drops at his proposal, completely bewildered at his comment, the underlying meaning far from missed. I can’t help but bite my lip as I look away from the screen, my skin ultimately flushing.

“I already scheduled your appointment with Analysse. She’ll be there in fifteen. I expect to see you no later than an hour and a half.” He informs me.

“Yes sir.” I say, unable to prevent the smile that pulls itself to my lips. “Thanks, Matty.”

“Of course, doll. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, we hang up and I’m left to sit in my puddle of confusion and eagerness. Matt and I are only friends. There’s always times where we’re flirty and we’ve always been close, physical touch being our love language. However, his actions and statements today threw me for a loop. I’m sure I’m not misinterpreting it, he seemed very suggestive. Honestly, I don’t even mind that, I just don’t know if he’s only messing with me or if he’s serious. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

“Hey babe, how are you doing?” Analysse greets me, unpacking her supplies.

“I’ve been good, just learning to adjust to new things. How have you been? I feel like it’s been ages since I last seen you.” I reply, sitting on the opposite side of the desk.

“I know! It’s been so long! I’ve been great though. Just living life and doing what I love.” She nods, a smile blossoming on her face.

“That’s amazing, I’m glad to hear.”

“Thank you. So, what are we thinking?” She asks me, all her supplies laid out in front of us.

“Probably just a simple red, maybe like medium length. Hm, not too long but long enough to leave marks.” I explain, smirking at the thought of digging my nails into Matt’s back.

“Ouu, okay.” She giggles, grabbing my hands to prep my nails. “So, are we talking about Matt? I mean, he is the one that reached out to me to book this appointment for you.”

I can’t help the warmth that rushes to my cheeks, “Yeah, I’ve been wanting to get my nails done again. Life just hasn’t been working in my favor.” She nods in understandment, listening to me rant. “Let’s just say, he’s got me thinking about a lot.”

Her mouth opens, laughter pouring out of it, “Oh, I get you. We’ve all had one of those.”

We continue talking and sharing stories as she does my nails. The conversation goes from boys, to makeup, to careers, to food, and just about everything under the sun. Once she’s done, I pay and tip her, and bid her on her way.

Since I still have some time before I have to be over at Matt’s, I decide to take a shower to freshen up. Seeing as I really only had around an extra thirty minutes, I decide to make it quick. I swiftly wash up and rinse off, hurrying out to dry off and get dressed. After applying deodorant and lotion, I slip on my shoes and grab my phone and keys, then I’m out the door.

It only takes me eight minutes to get to Matt’s house, so when I arrive, I’m eagerly making my way inside. We’ve been friends for eons, hence why I have my own key. Upon walking in, I instantly make my way upstairs and head back to his room. As soon as I open his door, his attention is on me.

“You’re late.” He states, his voice stern.

“Only by four minutes.” I shrug, joining him on his bed.

“Four minutes is still late.” He points out, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Won’t happen again, I promise.” I grin, tossing my hands up in defense.

He doesn’t say anything, only smirks as he grabs my hands to observe the nails he paid for. He plays with my fingers, looking at each individual nail, as if inspecting to see if there were any flaws. They were perfect.

“I love them, they look good.” He tells me, his voice now husky.

I look from my hands to his face, his eyes already being on me. His hands never leave my own, his warm fingers brushing back and forth over mine. The intensity of his stare has me clenching my thighs together in need. I don’t knew where this is coming from, but I want him bad.

“They’d look even better wrapped around my cock.” He whispers, his voice deep and raspy, placing one of my hands on his lap.

Only then, did I notice the growing bulge beneath his pants. His cargos now restricting his hard on, keeping it caged in below the fabric. I could feel him pulsating through the clothing, his erection rock solid. My mouth opened and close, suddenly unable to find words to speak.

“Don’t you want to show me how grateful you are?” He taunts, his gaze unwavering.

“Did you have a favor in mind?” I ask, licking my lips as I attempt to swallow in hopes of lubricating my now dry throat.

“Mhm.” He hums, standing up from the bed. He stands directly in front of me, his hands slowly working his belt off. “I want your pretty little mouth around my cock.”

I could feel my underwear becoming more and more soaked, my arousal seeping out of my pussy, completely and utterly turned on. His hand reaches my chin, gripping my jaw as he pulls me up from the bed, before dropping me to my knees. His thumb rubs against my lips before forcing itself in my mouth. I suck on it, my mouth immediately salivating from this situation I find myself in. He removes his thumb, dragging it down my bottom lip, letting it bounce back up as he moves to remove his shirt. I watch in awe, his lean torso flexing with every movement. Next, he unbuttons his pants. Once he pulls them and his boxers down, his dick slaps up, bouncing off of his lower abdomen. I’ve never been this intimate with Matt, meaning I’ve never seen his dick before, and boy was it something.

“Like what you see, pretty girl?” He teases, his hand engulfing his shaft and jerking it a couple of times. “Get over here and make me feel good until I say you can stop.”

I can’t help but frantically nod, instinctively scooting closer to him, eager to take his member into my mouth. One of his hands goes around my head, entangling in my hair, while the other one takes his dick and slaps it onto my lips, leaving drops of his precum behind. My tongue immediately flicks over my lips, taking the traces of him into my mouth, leaving him to toss his head back as a groan leaves his throat.

“Open.” He states, his hand pulling my jaw down.

As soon as my lips are parted wide enough, he’s shoving his entire length down my throat, pulling a gag from me. From his rough thrusts, my mouth is producing enough saliva to coat his dick, strings of spit connecting him to me once he pulls out. He then sets his tip on my lips, nodding at me to get to work, so I do.

My tongue swirls around his head, licking over his slit, causing him to tighten his grip in my hair and involuntarily buck his hips, his dick prodding at my mouth from the movement. I wrap my lips around him once more, my tongue continuously twirling around him, before taking as much as I could of him into my mouth, using my hands on the rest of him that wouldn’t fit. Peering up at him through my eyelashes, I see his brows furrowed in pleasure, his bottom lip held between his teeth.

“Fuck. You’re so pretty, doll.” He moans, running a hand across my cheek. “Sucking me so good, baby.”

I hum around his length, accepting his praise. Throaty moans continue to escape his mouth, encouraging me more as the desire in me burns hotter. I pull away from him completely, then take all of him in my mouth, deep throating him as much as I can without dying. His free hand wraps around my throat, making the feeling of his dick going down my throat all the more noticeable. He starts thrusting, matching my speed, his hips now sputtering as more lewd sounds come from his mouth.

He quickly pulls away, tugging me back by his grip on my hair. “Strip.”

I eagerly obliged, nerves building in my stomach, anticipating what’s to come. It didn’t take long for me to remove my outer clothing, leaving me in my bra and panties as his hungry eyes bore into me.

“Strip.” He repeats, his tone more demanding.

Without breaking eye contact, I reach back and unclasp my bra, letting it fall down my arms before falling to the floor with other clothes. The cool air hit my nipples, the buds hardening in response. I watch as Matt’s eyes follow my every move, soaking in every gesture. My fingers slip in the waistband of my panties, slowly tugging them downwards as I continue shimmying out of them, kicking them off my feet. Matt’s hand is now around his cock, stroking it as he watches me, intently.

“My turn.” He whispers, pulling me against him, skin to skin.

His mouth meets mine in a hot kiss, excitement bubbling between us. He walks me a few steps backwards, pushing me back on his bed and climbing on top of me. Our lips lap one another’s, before he’s shoving his tongue in my mouth, exploring behind my lips. We move together in such a hot and steamy way, his hands touching every part of me as my hands lace through his hair. His mouth then moves down my jaw, dragging open mouth kisses across my skin, leaving a trail saliva in his wake. My breathing was heavy, small whimpers coming through as he sucks and nibbles my sweet spot.

His hands then intertwine with mine, bringing my fingertips to his lips, pressing soft kisses against them. “I can’t wait to see the damage you do with these.”

He starts kissing down my chest, keeping his hands interlocked with mine. His mouth nips and bites at my skin, goosebumps spreading over me. He takes my nipple into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it, his teeth grazing over it, causing a sharp gasp like moan to come from my mouth. He moves on to the next one, repeating the same action. My legs squeeze shut, attempting to relieve the tension that keeps building and building with every little thing.

“Matt, please.” I whisper, attempting to grind against him for friction, to which he only presses his hands onto my hips to hold me in place.

“Shh, baby.” He mutters against my skin, lowering himself to my navel, his tongue leaving a stripe of spit.

His mouth meets my thighs, going back and forth between the two, peppering wet kisses all over them. His half lidded eyes meet mine, a smirk making its way to his face as he blew air onto my center, causing me to thrash beneath him. Instantly, his tongue is between my folds, pulling a loud moan from me as my hands return to his hair, tugging ever so slightly. He licks up and down my core, sucking all of my juices along the way. His tongue prods at my entrance, poking in and out, before he goes back up and wraps his lips around my clit.

“F-fuck, feels so good, Matty.” I whimper, thrusting my hips up for more.

His hands press down on my hips again, his grip now tight, holding me in place. His mouth continues lapping me, his tongue flicking every which way, bringing me closer to the edge. One of his hands leave my waist, his fingers meeting my heat. He slides them up and down, lubricating them before pressing two of them into my entrance. A loud moan falls from my mouth, my body jerking as he begins fucking me with his fingers. His mouth focuses on my clit, sucking with his warm tongue continuously flicking over it. His fingers pumping in and out of me, my arousal evident from the sounds emitting from my core and my mouth.

“I’m so close.” I moan out, pushing down into him.

Unfortunately, he pulls away, completely removing himself from me, a whine of desperation coming from my lips. He hovers back over me, his mouth pressing onto mine, my juices traveling from his mouth to mine as he kisses me hard.

“We’re gonna cum together, princess.” He says, one of his hands holding himself up as his other one rubs his dick up and down my folds.

I can’t help the gentle shaking of my thighs, my hole clenching around nothing as my eyes beg him to fuck me. Without words, he grants my wishes, slowly sinking his cock into me. Low moans escape both of our mouths as he bottoms out, my eyes closing in pleasure as he tosses his head back one again. My arms wrap around him, pulling him closer to me.

“I just knew you’d feel so good, baby.” He groans, his thrusts slow, yet hard. “So wet and warm, and tight around my cock.”

His thrusts remain slow, but not too slow, as he continues digging into me, hitting exactly where I need him.

“Oh, Matt.” I moan out, my face contorting in pure bliss as I drag my hands down his back.

He lets out more groans, enjoying everything about this moment. Instantly, I could feel the knot forming in the pit of my stomach, close to snapping from the building pressure. He picks up his pace, increasing the strength of his thrusts. His hand meets my center once again, rubbing tight circles onto my clit, ripping another moan from me.

“You look like a dream.” He moans out, his eyes never leaving mine. “I can see your close, baby.”

Words stuck in my throat, I’m left nodding my head, nothing but incoherent sounds coming from my mouth as I dig my nails into his back. His lips slam onto mine, bringing me into a passionate kiss, swallowing every noise that emits from me. His tongue roams my mouth again, quickly and eagerly, as if he can’t get enough. As he pulls away, he drags my bottom lip out in between his teeth.

“Cum with me, doll.” He groans, his finger on my clit applying more pressure.

And just like that, the knot snapped, unraveling, and I was letting go all over him, eliciting pornographic moans from my mouth. He followed seconds after, his dick twitching inside of me as his load spurts out. He continues pumping, fucking both of us through our orgasms, pushing our cum deeper into me with every thrust. Stilling for just a moment, he then slowly pulls out and lies beside me, both of our breaths erratic from the exertion.

“If this is what I get as a thank you, I’ll gladly pay for your nails every single time.” He chuckles, grinning over at me.

I laugh, rolling my eyes at him, pushing him away. He smirks, before starting to put his clothes back on, so that he could start us a shower. As soon as I catch glimpse of his back, a gasp leaves my mouth, causing him to turn around with raised eyebrows.

“What?” He asks, expectantly.

“Your back is fucked.” I laugh, covering my mouth, grabbing his phone from the nightstand.

I motion for him to turn around so that I can take a picture. Once I do, he grabs his phone from me and smirks at the picture, pleased with the aftermath of our moment together. He does some typing on his phone before tossing it back down and leaving the room. I pick his phone back up and see that he made a new post on snapchat.

After clicking on it, my mouth dropped, “Matt!”

—

a/n : here ya go! sorry for the delay, i’ve been lacking inspiration and motivation. i hope you enjoy it, and apologies if this isn’t what you had in mind. send in more reqs pls, love you 🫶🏼

[sharksnshakes]

New Perspective- Leon Kennedy

After losing a bet with friend and fellow DSO agent Leon Kennedy, he takes you for a ride on his motorcycle. Unforeseen consequences include windburn, watery eyes, and maybe developing a crush on him. Maybe.

AN; so i'm back with another installation of bestie leon wanting to be more than besties. you can read as a continuation of this one, anyways post-re2 leon is still on the brain and likely will be forever

Wordcount; 1.1k

TW; mentions of a potential motorcycle crash, mildly suggestive

Never again are you making a bet with Leon Kennedy.

"What were the terms again? Five minutes?" He asks, a shit eating grin on his face.

You speak through gritted teeth. "Yeah. Five."

Leon's grin widens.

"Shut up," you say halfheartedly, warily glancing down at the motorcycle you're both perched on.

"Didn't say anything, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes and zip your jacket up.

You're not sure how Leon's bike is supposed to safely carry you at all, let alone through busy downtown streets, without throwing one of you off or blowing up or spinning out of control or something. Suffice to say, you're not a fan of motorcycles--Leon knew that when you'd made the bet, and you'd only agreed because you'd been so certain that you'd win. Why else risk life and limb on the back of his Ducati?

That was the thing about Leon Kennedy and bets, though, because you've come to realize that he's got a way of winning regardless of how the odds are stacked. It's great for field work, but it's also a massive pain in your ass, because (news flash) you lost and now you'll have to endure a five minute ride on his death trap of a motorcycle.

"Let's get it over with," you sigh, looping your arms around his waist. The engine purrs beneath you, sending a shudder through your body.

"Y'know," he muses, and you can hear the grin in his voice, "I bet I could do a wheelie."

You laugh, you hope he doesn't feel the slight tremble in your hands, you hope he can't hear the nervous twinge to your voice. "Absolutely fucking not."

He drives slowly through the parking garage. Most DSO staff have already left for the night, and it's probably better that way, because the last thing the two of you need is for a hotshot supervisor to call you out on your antics. Meaning Hunnigan. Because if Hunnigan saw that neither of you were working on the literal mounds of paperwork gracing your desks, she'd probably hit you with a Jeep.

"Might wanna hold on tighter than that," Leon says offhandedly, revving the engine as you approach the street entrance.

"I'm not your backpack, Kennedy."

He chuckles. "Didn't think you'd know the lingo."

"You know that nobody says 'lingo' anymore, right? This is why Claire says you sound like an old man."

"Well, suit yourself," he shrugs, and suddenly you're rocketing into traffic.

You curse violently, digging your fingers into Leon's sides hard enough to bruise. You swear you feel him laughing, but you can't hear a damn thing over the engine and you're more focused on not falling into oncoming traffic.

"Fuck you, Kennedy," you mumble against his leather jacket, your eyes tightly shut.

The agent banks around a turn and you just barely hold back another string of curses. As his body shifts in the seat, you can feel the muscles in his sides stretch and shift and move beneath your fingers, and, wow, he's built, and now your cheeks are pricking with heat. You try not to think about it.

"You okay back there?" Leon calls, bringing the bike to a slow stop at a red light.

"Haven't decided yet?"

"Well, lucky for you, we're at-" he stops, glancing quickly at his watch. "-The two minute mark. Only three to go."

"Technically," you say, peeling yourself off of his back, "It's already been five, if you factor in the drive from the parking garage. So I say we head back."

He casts a glance over his shoulder at you, a smile playing across his lips. "That wasn't the deal, sweetheart."

"Would you quit with the 'sweetheart'?"

"You'd prefer 'backpack', then?"

"I'd prefer nothing, actually," you tease back, even though a tiny voice in your head riots at the thought. This banter with Leon is nothing new. You go back and forth like this in the office, on jobs, whenever, but perched on the back of Leon's bike has you feeling like you've crossed a line with the teasing somehow, like maybe he's actually flirting with you and maybe you're not actually minding it.

"Yeah, well..." The light changes to green. "Nevermind. Hang on, yeah?"

This time, you're feeling brave enough to divert some of your attention from clinging to Leon like your life depends on it, and instead you glance to the sides and take in the bustling downtown scene around you.

The sun's just barely set, casting a dusky haze over the streets. Pedestrians clog the sidewalk, passing through pools of golden lamp-post light; some duck into stores, some leave their apartments, some walk their dogs. You pass a restaurant with outdoor seating, a bookstore, a bank, and you've seen all of these places before on your daily commute, but the back of Leon's motorcycle is affording you a new perspective.

You turn your head to look at the other side of the street and catch a waft of Leon's cologne in the process. It's faint, but distinctly him. It's enough to bring the tiny voice in the back of your head to center stage, where it drenches the situation in rosy colors and 'what if's and 'sweethearts', grabbing you by the shoulders and practically injecting fantasized scenarios into your head. Everything from grocery shopping to painting your living room to getting in bed--

Oh, fuck, are you being a creep?

"Just another minute!" Leon shouts.

You nod against his back and swallow with a dry mouth. Your cheeks are flushed, you can feel it, and you hope you'll be able to play it off as windburn. The last minute of your ride is spent not unlike the first: with eyes slammed shut, ignoring Leon's heartbeat at your chest and ignoring the way your own heart whispers that there's more to be had here than just a friendship.

When Leon finally parks the bike in the garage and cuts the engine, your chest unclenches. Your five minutes are over and you are never getting on a motorcycle again.

The blond helps you off, looking far too amused.

"So, sweetheart... you liked the ride, yeah?" He raises his brows at you suggestively, but it's so exaggerated that you're positive he's just doing this on purpose.

You still nearly choke on your spit.

All the way back to the office, the two of you go back and forth over whether the Ducati's evil and dangerous and a horrible investment. He's laughing, insisting it isn't necessarily deadly, and you keep laughing incredulously and saying that's not a strong argument. Things feel normal again, and you've effectively written off the tiny voice in the back of your head as a bizarre, anxiety-induced response to your first and last ride on a motorcycle.

But his hand lingers on your shoulder for a little too long when you say you're heading out for the night, and after the rapid-fire scenarios that flashed through your head on that goddamned bike, you're not so sure you got rid of that tiny voice after all.

[greyskyflowers]

I have a lot of half thoughts about the hell scenes so I'm just going to ramble them out on here and hope they're semi coherent.

1.) I think it's so interesting that Edwin screamed for Charles while he was being taken to hell.

I would bet that Edwin cried for someone his his first trip down to hell too.

I really can't think of who he would have called for specifically. His parents? Maybe. I do think that there's something in everyone that wants the comfort of their mother when they're truely terrified but it doesn't seem like Edwin would have screamed for them. That goes for any siblings too.

He certainly didn't seem to have any friends that he could have cried for. Doesn't necessarily strike me as the type to be close to God but this situation would make a holy man out of anyone. Maybe he just called for every name that crossed his mind. Family, grade school friends, neighbors, teachers, etc.

Regardless, even if he had screamed for them, what would they have done? Who would have answered?

No one. No one answered. No one came. They were never coming.

He was completely alone.

He does scream for Charles though. Charles will always respond. Charles will always come get him.

I dont know, just seems like he screamed this time because he knew someone was listening. He said a name because he knew that person would come.

2.) I wonder if a very small, little sliver of Charles hated Crystal for just a split second when he found Edwin in hell and realized what exactly happens to him down there.

Crystal was very brave to want to come and that's important, she cares and wanted to help. I think that means a lot to Charles and Edwin.

However, she pushed back after she was told no, and that humans couldn't go to hell.

She argued with Charles and it might have been just a few minutes but how many times did Edwin get ripped apart in those few minutes?

That awful pile in the corner says many times.

3.) I'm curious what Edwin being taken back to hell would have looked like if we had followed him instead of staying with Charles.

Did the spider demon wait until it got to those horrid hallways before starting to chase?

Did it throw Edwin in there and muscle memory had him take off running the second his bare feet hit the ground? The demon already behind him and catching up quick.

Was he torn apart and back before he even knew what happened? How many times did it take before it hit him that he's really back?

This particular ones gets me. The idea that he was still in shock from being taken, was killed and back again while still trying to figure out what was even happening is heartbreaking.

If Edwin was torn apart and back before he even realized it, maybe that means it was a quick first death. Maybe the demon spider was too excited to have it's toy back.

I guess when the realization would have hit him that this was real, that he had already started the loop of runhurtagainrunhurtagain, that's what gets me.

Also, how familiar it probably was. How horrible to be so familiar with a certain type of pain that it would have immediately brushed aside all the scattered and chaotic thoughts in his head and narrowed it down to, he's back.

4.) Charles held it together pretty well in hell. Especially because I feel like he was probably furious. Everything in the past few days has been adding to his anger and what's a great way to piss him off even when he's not in a bad mood? Fucking around with Edwin.

The night nurse has made a liar out of him. She called that awful thing to Edwin, as accidental as it might have been, and it took him.

Charles promised that Edwin would not go back to hell. He said he was going to fight whoever and whatever he needed to in order to keep them together and Edwin out of hell.

Edwin is in hell. They're not together anymore.

It happened so quickly and unexpectedly that Charles wasn't able to do anything.

He has broken two promises in the seconds it took the demon spider to grab Edwin and disappear.

When he finds Edwin the second time and he gets the run down of what really happens here, he did this thing while Edwin's hand is still over his mouth where he kind of closes his eyes and nods a few times.

It's like he's telling himself to pull it together. Trying to passively take in the information and doing the equivalent of taking a few deep breathes while incredibly anxious or stressed and forcing yourself to focus on specific things one at a time.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Swallow it all down, all the devastation and fury and fear.

Edwin needs him to be okay and calm because Edwin is absolutely not okay and not calm.

So even though Charles is probably feeling a lot things right now, he swallows it down and says Okay. Let's get you out of here.

Charles is a fixer. He's a protecter. He's a fighter.

He can do none of those things right now. Not really. The only thing he can really do is give Edwin enough hope to run though hell with him.

Add in the later stuff with Esther and Charles has got to be thinking 'how many times do we have to go through this before everyone gets the message and backs the fuck off?'

[chesterfieldblossom]

BITTERSWEET Logan Howlett x Reader (6.9k words)

SUMMARY | You were on a mission, Stryker got you and Logan, making you forget everything about him. You woke up in the Med Bay of the X-Mansion, not knowing what happened. NOTES | I cried writing this shit, you guys better enjoy. Also, I listened to Cry from Cigarettes After Sex and K. from Cigarettes After Sex in loop to write. WARNINGS/TAGS | Angst! Loose of memories, comforting, fluff! Logan, F! Reader, intimacy, deep talking, explicit words, amnesia. RATING | + Teen

Being the girlfriend of Logan Howlett was a hard thing sometimes. Specially when that involves being an X-Men too. But something happened in the last mission, Stryker got you and messed up with your memories. You lost everything about Logan. You just remember being a mutant and living on the X-Mansion. Nothing about him, not even his name.

As soon your eyes dart open, your mouth feels dry. You frown to yourself as you mumble, tossing.

"Where— ?"

A man that was sitting on a chair by your side wide his eyes to you as he heard you mumbling. He looked relieved.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”

You wide your eyes too, sitting on the bed quickly.

"Who are you?"

He groans annoyedly. He thought that you remembered him, but obviously that wasn't the case. He had dark hair, styled on a beast form. His eyes were hazel, and he was wearing a button black shirt and a leather jacket. He had something comforting about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

"Logan, or you used to call me Wolvie. Does that ring any bells?"

You rub your head, frowning.

"Listen, love. I probably drinked with you last night and we probably did things, but that was not me." Everything was looking very confusing. What the hell you did last night?

The man groans and facepalms. Great. You don't even remember him. It was like talking to a whole new person. But it was better having you this way than not having you.

"You're telling me that you don't remember me at all? Even a little bit?"

"Is not personal, the alcohol do these things." The calmness on your voice was a bit annoying as you reach the glass of water nearby and gulp.

He groans again. This time even louder.

"It is kinda personal though! I mean, don't you think it's bad that you don't remember me? We used to be in love, y'know! It's not like we just randomly hooked up or something.” Uh-oh.

You stop gulping, confused.

"I-" But nothing more cames out.

He rolls his eyes before looking at you

"Yeah, you heard me. We were in love. Well, until Stryker got us and erased your memories.” He sigh as he rub his head. “Damnit.”

"I don't know what you're talking about." You shake your head as you reach your shoes from the floor, putting them.

But a hand grab your wrist as you attempt to walk out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Home?"

In fact, you didn't know were you’re going. His grip on your wrist getting tighter but not to the point where it hurts you.

"Like hell you're going home. Not when I just got you back. This is your home." His voice was rough.

"I—" You look around, your eyes recognizing the familiar walls. The X-Mansion.

He doesn't let go of you and instead moves in closer to you. To the point where your bodies were almost pressed together.

"Just... look into my eyes, please?"

"How do I know you were my boyfriend? Say something about me, quick." You threat him, narrowing your eyes.

He groans again. Great. You were being difficult. He moves even closer, to the point where his chest was against yours. You could feel the heat irradiating of his body.

"Alright, let's see. You're stubborn, hot headed, and you like country music." Fuck. He knew you, at least a bit.

Your legs tangled on each other as you walk back, in shock. But he moves quickly and catches you before you can fall. He then pulls you even closer to his chest.

"See? Told you that you're stubborn. You nearly fell on your ass and you still tried to get away from me.” He hisses, the eyes throwing daggers on yours.

"This is not happening."

He chuckles slightly seeing how confused and flustered you were. But the chuckle has no humor at all.

"I beg to differ, darlin'. This is happening and you can't change that.”

"Tell me more." You pull away from him, crossing your arms. You needed answers.

He groaned again. You had to be so damn stubborn about everything, even when your memory didn't work right. But that was his girl, she was there, even not remembering him.

"What do you want me to tell you about? I can go on and on about the past and how much of a little minx you are.” His tone was annoyed.

"Say anything." You put your head in your hands as you sit on the bed. He sighs and thinks for a few seconds.

"Let's see. You have a weakness for coffee, you can't take a damn shower on normal temperature— always lava, and you can never go a day without wearing black or red nail polish."

He could hear your cursing under your breath in surprise. He smirks slightly and moves to sit right next to you on the bed.

"You really don't remember anything huh? Not a single thing that I've just said rings a bell?”

"No." Your voice cracked. But that things made sense to you, sounded like you— somehow.

His smirk falters a bit when he hears your voice crack. He wasn't expecting that. He gently puts his hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, hey, look at me.”

But you can’t. You keep your head between your hands as you feel the tears hitting the floor. He gently grabs your hands and moves them away from your face, forcing you to look at him.

"Hey, sugar? Why are you crying?"

"Because I don't have any idea who are you and you know me." You didn't remembered him, but the empathy was boiling in your blood. His expression softens when he sees the tears in your eyes. He knew how tough you were. Seeing you crying like this was very rare.

"Oh, hey. Don't cry, please. I promise that you'll remember me someday. You just have to give it time.” He pats your back in a soothing manner. But you keep your eyes shut, almost thinking that this is a nightmare and you need to wake up. Wake up, come on. You say to yourself.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you even closer to him. He rests his chin on top of your head.

"And if you have no recollection of anything, I'll tell and remind you just how much I love you. I promise you that.”

You don’t touch him back, but he can’t blame you— you don’t remember him. You could hear he groaning in annoyance again when you don't reciprocate. He knew that you just didn't remember, but dammit it hurt like hell.

"C'mon. Gimme some kinda response. You're being too quiet.”

"I need time." The way your voice sounded nasal broke something inside him.

But he just sighs and nods. That was... fair. You did lose your memories after all. But he wanted you to remember him so damn badly. He wanted to beat himself for letting Stryker put his hands on you. That was his damn fault.

"I know, I know. You take all the time you need. I'll be right here waiting.”

"Tell me about you." You pull away to look at him. This was a good start, right?

He leans back slightly. His eyes dart to some place behind you, thinking.

"What do you want to know? About how grumpy I am in the morning? About the fact that I drink about 8 cups of coffee per day and whiskey when you’re not watching? About the fact I love riding my motorcycle or where I hide my Cuban cigarettes? There's a lot to tell, sweetheart.” He say with a shy grin, trying to stole a laugh of you. And did worked, you chuckled.

"How we met?" You sniffed, tugging your hair behind your ear.

His annoyance from earlier subsided a bit and was replaced with a more gentle expression, a small hint of a smile showing on his lips.

"Ah, you asking the tough questions huh? Hm, let me think. It was about three years ago. You joined the X-Mansion and I— I couldn't get my eyes off you since that day." He paused painfully.

"Really? I wasn't scared by your... personality?" Your arched your brows. Now it was your turn to make him laugh. And worked— he chuckled as he rolls his eyes.

"You? Scared of my rough and grumpy personality? I doubt that. If anything, I think you liked the fact that I was grumpy so you could tease me."

You nod in silence, smiling a bit.

"I'm guessing that you're starting to believe me a bit, huh? About me being your boyfriend?" There was hope in his rough voice.

"It's still confused, but I don't doubt of you."

He looks at you with a soft expression, his thumb gently caressing your knee. He had missed you so much, and now that you were back, even if you don't remember him, he wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

"It is a little confusing, huh? But that's alright. You're here and you're safe, and that's what matters to me right now." The tenderness on his voice was killing you inside. You wanted to remember him so bad.

"What if I don't remember?" Your thoughts echoed. "The relationship —I mean."

And he groans again. You knew exactly where to hit him to make him worry. That damn stubborn attitude of yours was as infuriating as endearing.

"Then we just go from zero. I'll just make you fall in love with me again.” His voice was deadly serious.

"What if I don't fall in love with you again?" You retorted quickly.

You received a glare when you retort and a groan in annoyance. You were being intentionally difficult just to piss him off. It always worked and he hated it, but he also loved it. It was that personality of yours that made him fall in love with you —in the first place.

"What, are you saying that I don't have the charm and skill to win your heart twice? Because I do, damnit."

He made you chuckle again. You were loosing it.

"You need to be patient with me, you know?"

He rolls his eyes and nods, but underneath he was mentally cursing at himself. Patience was not exactly his strongest point.

"Yeah, I know, I know. Patience is key right?"

Your shrug, nodding.

"Yeah." You squirm your eyes to him, trying to remember a thing.

He studies your face for a bit, watching how you look up and down his face, inspecting it intently. A small part of him hoped that the sight of his face would be enough for you to magically remember him and all the memories the two of you shared. But deep down he knew that it would be a lot more work than that, it wouldn't be that simple, and that you wouldn't remember him that easy. It was never that easy.

"Tell me more about you." You try to disguise your lack of memories with a random topic. "What do you want for your future?"

He relaxes his shoulders a bit, he expected another difficult question from you, but he was pleasantly surprised that you were starting to cooperate with him. He takes a deep breath before answering your question.

"Future, huh? I've never really thought much about it. I just want a peaceful future. A future with you.” He lock his eyes on you. “I want the both of us to go somewhere and live quiet lives, away from all the bullshit and fights." You nod quietly. So he was an mutant too, maybe an X-Men.

"You're a mutant too."

He grins at you.

"Yeah, I am. And I'm damn good at fighting." He chuckles as he shows you his claws.

"Nice claws." You grin, admiring the sharpy metallic claws.

"More than just nice. They come in handy in a fight.”

"Okay, so." I pause as I look at you. "What do you do in your free time?"

He sighs, rubbing his hands on his jeans— of course you'd ask him that kind of question.

"Why do you want to know? Trying to figure out if I have any weird or kinky hobbies?"

"Maybe." You say, understanding why you felt in love with him. He was very careful with you, lightening the mood when you needed it, being patient even though you felt that this was not a strong trait of his personality. He knew where the conversation was about to go, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to lie to you if it did.

"If you must know, I usually drive around on my motorcycle, and when I'm not doing that, I'm in the training room punching things.” He show his knuckles to you. But they don’t have a bruise.

"And..." You carefully lift your eyes to his. "With me? I mean, what we were used to do?"

He grins slightly and raises an eyebrow at you, his mind wandering elsewhere. He glances you up and down, thinking if he will say or not.

"Well, we didn't really do much talking when we were together.”

"Oh." You wide your eyes in surprise. "So we’re that kind of couple."

He smirks as he looks into your eyes, his expression almost amused.

"Oh, you have no idea."

You laugh, avoiding looking at him.

"Jesus."

He chuckles, seeing your reaction. You looked embarrassed, flustered and shocked at the same time. He found it adorable.

"Told you that we weren't exactly 'conversation-friendly'”

"But we— in the Mansion?" Your smile drops and change into a concerned face.

He knew what you were insinuating. He had a feeling that it was coming.

"Yeah, in the mansion. You have no idea how many times we almost got caught.” He sighs, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Oh my God, but—" You suddenly feel embarrassed by your past version.

He chuckles and shakes his head at your reaction. He actually found it cute how flustered you got right now.

"Calm down, relax. No one ever caught us, if that's what worrying you."

You let a sigh of relief escape.

"And we date for how long?"

He takes a deep breath and thinks for a moment. He couldn't believe that you didn't remember this. Three years was a long time to just forget. He couldn't imagine how awful it must be to just not remember the three years.

"About... three years. We got together three years ago.”

"Oh." Your heart dropped. "I'm sorry."

He groans again. Why the hell were you apologizing? This wasn't your damn fault.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You have no control over the fact that you don't remember anything.”

"How I lost my memory?" You felt more secure to ask that now.

He groans again, groaning a lot today apparently. This was a touchy subject for both of you. Just thinking about what you went through makes his heart hurt. He tries to be calm as he answers your question.

"Do you remember a man called 'Stryker'?" He says the name in a disgust you never saw before.

"No."

He nods. He thought that would be the answer even before he asked you that question.

"Yeah, I figured. Anyway, he's a mutant-hating doctor. He's in charge of a mutant... elimination group. He took us a few months ago. Wanted to use us for his own personal gain.”

"And?" You encourage him to keep going.

He sighs and rubs a hand across his face before continuing his story.

"They took us a while back. Stuck us in separate cells and didn't tell us Jack-shit about what was going on. But before that, they injected us both with a serum that would... erase our memories. The next thing I remember was waking up in the X-Jet and you unconscious by my side.”

You nod silently, trying to remember. You frown to yourself.

He watches as you try to force your mind to try and remember the past. It frustrated him to see you frown like that. He hated seeing you like that. God— if he could, he would lost his memories too to keep you in company.

"Don't push it. You'll just end up giving yourself a headache.”

"Can you say more about us?" Your eyes are a bit glassy and you feel your throat sore.

He nods and takes a deep breath before answering you, trying to ignore your glassy eyes. You were holding back your emotions, that much he could tell, and he absolutely hated it.

"I... I don't even know where to start. So much has happened between us in the past three years. You and I... we share something that's pretty special, darling. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you— and I don't think I ever will.”

You nod, holding a sob for not remembering. You wanted to beat you up, throw yourself and the floor and scream. He watches as you try to keep yourself together. He wanted to give you space to process everything, but seeing you like that was absolutely killing him. It takes every ounce of his control not to move closer to you and pull you into his arms.

"We have the same room?" You were trying to distract yourself. In fact, his voice was soothing.

He nods, smiling slightly at you. He was grateful that you were trying to change the subject. He didn't really want to talk in-depth about the past. Not when it was hurting you like that.

"We do, yeah. I like having you close by. You give me less reasons to go looking for you when I'm bored.”

You hug your legs, nodding. Logan sighs as his heart tightens a bit seeing you hugging your legs like that. You looked so insecure and so unlike your usual confident and tough self. It kills him to see you like that— broken.

"Can I sit next you?" He asks, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. It was odd asking you permission to a thing he would do so naturally.

You lift your eyes to his, thinking for some seconds before nodding. You shift to give him more room on the tiny bed of the Med Bay. He smiles slightly at your nod and moves closer to you, sitting right next to you. He makes sure to leave a small space between you so you don't feel smothered.

"Thank you." He says gently as he looks at you. The way he looks at you is almost painful, he looks exhausted.

"What time is it?" You furrow your brows.

He glances over at the wall clock. It was getting pretty late into the evening.

"About... nine pm. Why?"

"You can go rest on your room." You nod, reassuring. "You don't need to be with me all the time."

He groans and rolls his eyes. Resting was that last thing on his mind right now. There was absolutely no way in hell that he would leave you alone here.

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here by your side in this damn room.” His strong genius was something else. In the same way he needed to be patient with you, you needed to be patient with him.

"Why?" You say in a frown. "You need to rest. How long you've sleeping here waiting for me to wake up?"

He sighs when you ask him that question. That was something he did not want to talk about right now. He didn't want you worrying about him. It felt wrong. His eyes leaves your face before speaking up.

"About four damn days. I— I refused to leaver this room at all. I didn't want to miss the moment you woke up.”

"Oh God." Your heart sinks as you look at him. You put your hand on his. "You need to rest."

He groans in annoyance again, but he secretly loves the feeling of your hand on top of his. It felt electrifying.

"I'm fine. I don't need to rest, I can go a few more days without sleeping.”

"Logan..." Your eyes snap. His name. You said his name without him remembering you.

His eyes widen slightly at the sound of you saying his name. It was the first time since you lost your memories that you said his name without him having to tell you first. He looks at you intensely and studies your pretty face.

"I—" You frown, worried that may not be his name by his reaction. "Is that your name, right?"

He nods, feeling a mix of emotions. Relief, love, happiness, sadness, worry, fear. Seeing you struggling to remember things, even his name, was killing him.

"That's my name, darlin'. Good job.”

"Me on the past probably said your name a lot of times for this to happen." You chuckle, looking down. He laughs slightly at your comment.

"Yeah, you said my name quite frequently. In a multitude of ways.” He had that lazy charming grin tugging on his lips.

Your jaw drops as you realize.

"Ew, I don't need details."

He laughs again and rolls his eyes. There's the sarcasm and witty comeback that were so uniquely "you".

"Why not? Afraid you may like it if I tell you the details? Because I can tell you.” He arch one of his brows, ready to say it.

"Say it." Suddenly you dare him, looking at his eyes.

He groans and grins. You were actually daring him to tell you about the naughty stuff? Goddamn, he loved you so much. He looks right into your eyes and says, his tone lower and huskier than usual.

"Are you sure you want me to tell you about all the ways you've said my name before?"

"Yeah. Why, scared?" You tease back, almost eagerly.

He chuckles again, loving the fact that you were starting to act more and more like your old self.

"Not in the slightest. Just checking. I just don't you to feel 'overwhelmed' by the details.”

"Go ahead." You say as you shift your seat, anxious.

He laughs and grins at your anxiousness. He's been holding back for the last few days and now that you were giving him the green light to say and talk about the things on his mind, damn right he wasn't going to hold back even for a second.

"Whenever you said my name, it was never just my name. It was always 'oh Logan' or 'oh God, Logan' or my personal favorite; 'oh Logan, yes, please', or 'please, Logan, yes.'"

"Shut up!" You wide your eyes as you laugh, tapping his mouth with yours hands before someone can hear it. He laughs under your hands.

"Hey" He mumbles against your hand. "You asked for details. Now you get to deal with them.”

"Jesus." Your jaw are dropped as you laugh, removing your hand of his lips.

He grins and grins even wider as he hears you laughing again. You have no idea how much he loved that sound. It was almost like music to his ears.

"You know that's not even the half of it, right?"

"Oh God." You burst in laughs, shaking your head. "There’s more?!"

He laughs as he watches you crack up and nods. Oh yeah, there was definitely more where that came from.

"Oh yeah, a whole lot more. I could go on for hours talking about the ways you say my name."

"You're terrible." You say as you tap his mouth again before he would say anything else.

He grins and chuckles again, loving the way you're playing with him. He can feel your fingers right against his lips. He really wants to grab your hand and kiss the palm of it.

"I'm terrible? You're the one who insisted on knowing all the details."

You low your hand as you shift on your knees to have a better look on him.

"You can give me more?" You asked so shy, feeling a bit eager. That memories seems to be so precious.

He looks at you and immediately feels his insides melt as you get on your knees to look at him. God, you were adorable. He tries to sound serious when he answers your question.

"Of course I can.”

"Can you say some details of me and you?" You sit on your legs to listen to him.

He thinks about your question for a moment. What kinds of details did you want to know? Before he starts, he moves a bit closer to you so your knee is almost touching his thigh.

"Sure." He says as he looks at you. "What kind of details we talking about? First date, our first time, when we first confessed to each other?"

"Everything. Start with the first date." You grin just like a teenager receiving gossip.

He laughs at your reaction. You were acting like a little kid listening to a very interesting story. You were absolutely adorable. He had to fight the urge to pull you into his lap and snuggle you close.

"The first date, huh. Alright" He grins back at you, arching his brows as he quickly lick his lips. "Well, it all started when you agreed to go on a date with me in the first place. You were being all snarky, of course. Didn't want to go at first.”

"Ha." You roll your eyes. "So, how did you convinced me?"

He laughs as he thinks back to the memory of the first time he tried to ask you out. You didn't make it easy for him at all.

"Well, like I said, you didn't want to go on a date with me at all." He says grinning "You thought I was a pain in the ass.”

You let a laugh escape, listening to him.

He grins again, loving the sound of you laughing. He takes you back to that first date as he continues to speak.

"I had to beg, and pretty much pester you for like an entire week before you finally said yes to go on a date with me.”

"And the date was good or a completely mess?" You sit at his side again, leaning on the headboard.

He laughs as he feels your body sitting right next to his. He can feel the heat of your body so damn close to his.

"Oh, god no, it was a complete mess. I'll admit it to you right now, that was the most awkward date I've ever had in my life.”

"Oh." You rub your face painfully. "What happened?"

He laughs again as he remembers just how awkward that date was.

"Everything, basically. I was so damn nervous, you were so damn quiet, we basically sat almost in complete silence for the entire date.”

"Jesus." You shake your head, surprised. "How did— how did you kept interested on me?"

He laughed again. He has no idea how he managed to keep his interest on you after that horrible date.

"Honestly, I still can't answer that question" He sighs before shaking his head and continuing. His eyelashes brushed his cheek softly as he blinks. "I just... just something about you kept me interested, despite how absolutely damn awkward our first date was."

"Okay," You nod, taking mental notes. "How about... our first time?"

He glances at you and sighs. Seeing your eyes on him, looking at him with anticipation, it made his heart beat just a little bit faster and his mind go a little more fuzzy.

"You want the details on that one, too, huh?"

"Please." You nod, keeping your eyes on his.

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck as he prepares to tell you about your first ever time together as a couple. He can feel his face heating up, it's almost a little embarrassing to talk about the intimate details of that day.

"Alright, the first time, huh" He says as he looks at you. "You were... really nervous about it, which, honestly, caught me a little off guard, considering how you were usually so confident about everything.” He frowns a bit.

"Yeah?" You asked curiously. "And— what happened?"

He laughs softly as he remembers the events of that night. As awkward as it was at first, it was still one of his best memories.

"We— well, it was pretty rocky and awkward at first. We weren't exactly, um, communicating well at the time. But then we just... things, I suppose you could say. We started really getting into it, and by the end, we both had a damn good time.” He grins at you in a tender manner.

"So you managed to get me comfortable." You could feel your heart getting warmer.

He smiles slightly at you. Yeah, he managed to get you comfortable. He managed to get you to lower your guard.

"Yeah. I managed to get you to relax enough to enjoy what we were doing." His eye flutter, remembering.

"And our confessing? How was that? When happened?" You say as you lean on him, unconsciously.

He grins at your question. God, that was almost as nerve-racking as the first date. It took him a ridiculously long time work up the courage to confess to you for the first time.

"God, it took me forever to work up the courage to confess to you and to tell you I had feelings for you.” He chuckles, rubbing his face.

"Tell me, please." You plead, completely taken by his memories. "Details." He sighs and groans slightly as you demand the details from him. It's almost like you're making him go back through all those stressful moments again.

"Fine, I'll tell you the details." He says, feigning annoyance. "It was the middle of the damn night. We were on that damn jet after a mission, and I waited until you were completely alone to corner you and tell you how I felt."

"You waited after a mission to confess at the X-Jet?" You frown a bit. That shit must be funny as hell.

He laughs slightly at your reaction, nodding to confirm your statement.

"Yeah, I waited until after a mission. I wanted to make sure you were alone and you had enough time to relax before I approached you about it. I was worried you were going to kick my ass or something."

"This is the worst time ever." You, chuckling. "And what did I said?"

He grins again and laughs, agreeing with you. It was probably the worst time to pick to confess to someone.

"You thought I was making a bad joke at first. You weren't even taking me seriously when I told you I was being serious. So, I had to try and convince you that I was being completely serious about my feelings for you."

"How did you convinced me?" You were enjoying this conversation —and silently loving hearing his voice talking nonstop.

He grins again, loving the way you look so interested in what he has to say. It gives him the courage to continue to tell you every single little detail he can remember from the night he confessed to you.

"I told you that I had been feeling that way for a really long time. That it wasn't some random, stupid joke. I had to literally sit you down and convince you that I felt that way about you. It took a really long time to persuade you to believe me."

"And what I said later? I kicked you?" You frown, curious.

He laughs softly and grins.

"No, sugar. You didn't kick me. You were still a little stunned and confused, but I saw how— how your eyes suddenly flared up as soon as you finally understood what I was saying. There was no way I was going to let you run away when you were looking at me like that"

"Looking how?" You keep your eyes on his, it was impossible to look away. That hazel eyes burned on yours in a way your mind couldn't ratiocinate.

He looks into your eyes intently as he thinks about how you reacted that night. He remembers your eyes looking at him with shock, confusion, excitement, surprise, and then a flare of intense heat.

"Like you didn't want me to stop talking. Like you wanted me to keep going and keep explaining myself. Your eyes were flared up, and you were looking at me with so damn much heat in your gaze that I almost pounced right on you right then and there."

You could feel your heart bumping as he talks.

He returns your intense gaze, feeling drawn to you. Just like that night, he feels the urge to pount on you again and just take you, right here and right now. But he holds back, for now. He still had plenty of details to tell you about. And yet— you need time and space.

"I swear, you were looking at me like you wanted to devour me."

You grin to him, keeping the eye contact.

"Do you— do you believe in soulmates?" The way his presence would absolve all the ambiance, God, that wasn’t normal.

He grins back, loving the way you keep looking at him. Damnit, he could look into your eyes for hours.

"I... I don't know if I buy into the whole 'soulmate' thing.” He says jokingly. "I wasn't sure I could ever have a soulmates until the moment I met you."

"It's so weird." You narrow your eyes, putting your hand on your chest. "I don't remember a thing, but I feel so comfortable with you."

He smiles and sighs. Yeah, it was a bit weird. You don't remember anything about him or your life together. But he's happy at the fact that you're feeling comfortable around him.

"Don't overthink it.”. He says softly. "Maybe the mind forgets, but the body and the heart never does."

You melt under his words, wanting to beat yourself for forgetting. How could him be so charming?

He keep his eyes on you, loving the way you look right now. Like you're absolutely smitten by him right now. He really does wonder sometimes how his tongue manages to be so silver. It's gotten him into plenty of trouble over the years, but right now, he's so very happy with how it's working for him.

"And what is your favorite memory?" You don’t want to pull away from his hazel eyes.

His smile softens as he immediately thinks of his favorite memory with you. There were plenty of moments and memories he loved, but one in particular stuck out, even among his favorites.

"My favorite memory, huh?”

He looks into your own eyes as he grins again and sighs softly, thinking about his most favorite memory of the two of you together.

"My favorite memory was the day you told me you loved me back for the first time."

"Can you tell me about this one?" You plead, even worrying about asking him too much.

He smiles and chuckles, immediately thinking about that moment, one of his all time favorite moments of his life.

"Of course. I can tell you all about it." He says softly as he lets himself become immersed in that specific memory. "It wasn't some big and elaborate moment, to be honest. It was just the two of us in the living room, just relaxing together. I was just talking, babbling about some trivial stuff that happened when I was away on a mission. I made some joke about something, and you just— just looked at me with that sweet little smile and said."

You keep silent, feeling a bit emotional.

"Thank you for having patience with me. I know I can't stop throwing questions on you."

He laughs softly and grins, shrugging his shoulders. He honestly doesn't mind it at all. He gets to talk about his memories with you and seeing the wonder in your eyes as you listen to his stories. That's all the incentive he needs.

"Don't worry about it. You can ask as much questions as you want. I ain't going anywhere."

You gulp some tears. You glance away, feeling your heart clenching.

"I just—" You pause, gulping a sob. "I'm just feeling so cared right now, I’m sorry."

He immediately notices how distressed you sound and how your face is starting to crumble. He immediately feels the need to comfort you. To make sure you're okay.

"Hey, hey it's alright.” He says soothingly as he moves closer to you. His smell filling your nostrils— pine, musk, cigarettes, leather. "Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about, alright? Don't cry, cmon."

You chuckle at his worried face, trying to pull the tears away.

He watches as you try to hold back your tears, feeling the need to reassure you. He wants to wrap you up in a tight hug and soothe you, but he's not sure if it would be alright to make a move like that at the moment.

"Hey, listen." He says. "you don't have to apologize for anything, alright? Don't let these damn tears fall."

You look at him with the tears already falling.

"Too late." You smile to him.

He groans to himself as he sees your tears fall. He can hear the wavering in your voice as you struggle to speak, and it's making him really want to just pull you close and hold you close to him to stop your tears.

"Dammit... don't do that, okay? Don't cry like that" he tries to sound stern, but it's a useless effort. He just sounds concerned for you now.

"I feel lucky to have you, even If I don't remember a thing." Your voice cracked.

His heart squeezes when he hears your voice crack. You sound so— so distraught right now, and hearing you like that is not sitting well with him at all.

"Hey, don't talk like that, love." He says as he gently puts a hand on your shoulder. "I'm the lucky one here. I'm the luckiest man in the damn world right now."

"For what? Having a girlfriend with amnesia?" You whisper with sad eyes, you almost laughed without humor, almost.

He frowns, feeling himself getting a bit angry at your words. How dare you think he's unhappy about you losing your memories. It's certainly not ideal, but he won't let you talk like that about yourself.

"Just shut up, alright?" He says firmly. "So what if you can't remember any damn thing? I still love you. I don't care if you remember me or not, I still love you.” He says as he holds you by your shoulders.

You wide your eyes, looking at him. The way you look at him just like that day, the day that he confessed. The same burning way. He could feel his guts twisting. You look like he's the most precious thing in the world to you, just like you did the night he confessed to you. It reminds him of that night. Makes his heart beat a little bit faster as a smile slowly appears on his face.

"Darlin..." He says in a low, soft tone.

"Yes?" You whisper, wiping a tear.

He sees your face, the tears staining your cheeks. He wants to hold you so damn badly. He wants to pull you tight against his body and whisper sweet things against your ear, promising to take care of you and never let you get hurt again.

"Come here for a second." He ask, opening his body language to you.

You reach him, laying your face on his chest as you embrace his waist. You could feel the warmth of his body comforting you. He grins again as you immediately move so close to him. He can feel your soft, slender arms wrapping around his waist and your face burying into his chest. He feels his heart skip a beat as he realizes that you're willingly getting closer to him and wrapping yourself around him.

"Shhh... it's alright. I got you" He soothes as he wraps his arms around your body and pulls you flush against his chest.

You close your eyes, and for one second— you felt like in home.

He rests his chin on the top of your head, holding you tight. The feeling of your body pressing against him is one of the best feelings in the world. You feel so small in his embrace, he wants nothing more than to keep holding you close to him, to keep you safe in his arms and to never let you get hurt ever again.

"Close your eyes.” He whispers. "Just listen to my heartbeat and focus on that."

Logan can hear you sniffling again and feels the way your hands are tightly clutching at his shirt as you bury your face against his chest. He can hear the way your breathing is getting a little bit more heavy as you're desperately attempting to force your tears to stop.

"It's alright.” He whispers softly. "Just focus on my heartbeat, alright? Focus on that and nothing else. Just breathe and relax.”

He smiles to himself again, he can feel your heart slowing down as you start to focus on the sound of his heartbeat. He feels so damn happy having you in his arms like this. Being able to hold you and comfort you. He can't get enough of the way your body feels pressed up against his, and he knows he'll never get enough of this.

"There you go, good girl" He says, rubbing his hand up and down your back. "Just keep listening to my heartbeat."

[1d1195]

Faking It (Part 2)

You can read the first part here: Faking It it wasn't a great first part in my opinion because I wrote it on my phone while falling asleep but a lot of you wanted more:

@gem1712 @sunshinextemptress94 @fairytale07 @cherry01 @daniizstyles @igave-so-manysigns

so here it is :)

~3.5k words

warnings: smut. a lot of it. good girl, praise kink, doggy, oral, 18+ only please.

“We don’t have t’do this right now,” he offered. Maybe the conversation should have happened first.

“Scared you can’t make me come?” She asked delight dancing in her eyes.

He glared at her. “Don’t.”

Harry was the only thing that was on her mind. She was lucky her autonomic nervous system oversaw things like breathing because if it required any thought, she was a goner. Harry was kissing her. Her best friend was nipping at her lips and asking for permission to let his tongue into her mouth without words. His hands were touching, caressing, and moving all over her sides. He pulled on her belt loops to get her hips closer to his, angling her so he fit snuggly between her thighs, and she could feel the hard bulge through both their clothing.

Fortunately, her autonomic nervous system also controlled her heart rate and prevented a full-blown cardiac episode. Although, she felt as if it was still close. Only Harry could mess up the automatic responses of her body with just a press of his hard length against her core. She moaned softly at the thought of it inside her.

“S’good,” he murmured breaking his mouth away from her lips to press a kiss to just below her earlobe. “Good girl,” he cooed. “Keep moaning. Gonna make y’cum so hard,” he promised.

The only brain cell that wasn’t obsessed with Harry managed to squeak out her worry. “Um... sometimes...it’s hard for me t’cum,” she whispered. It should have been awkward to say that out loud. But this was Harry. Her Harry. If it was another guy, she would have blushed and felt worse but...Harry was kissing her skin and making her think of all the things she wished he would do to her so many times. Whenever he wore those sparkly vests that showed off all his muscles while he danced on stage... It was unfair that he was so hot. Now he was there, kissing her whole body, promising he was going to make her see stars.

“Oh?” He mumbled into her throat as he kissed down over her collarbones, his fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt at the same time coaxing her out of the clothing. “So y’better not fake it,” he murmured reattaching his lips to her making her wonder why they never did this before. “If it takes all night, love,” his voice was sultry, but she could hear the kindness of her best friend whispering a promise to her. Hiding in his practically pornographic whispers. “No faking it,” he repeated. “Wanna feel y’cum on my fingers...on m’tongue...on m’cock,” he was nearly whimpering into her skin.

Of course, she was flushed. “Can... we go in the bedroom?” She whispered.

Harry didn’t give any vocal affirmation, but she was suddenly in the air, over his shoulder as if she weighed less than a bag of groceries. She giggled slightly and pinched his butt since it was right in front of her face. It sparked a low chuckle from him, and they were in his room. It smelled like the candle he got her for Christmas. The bed was made with the sheets he got her for her birthday. “Don’t know how long I wanted this, kitten,” he promised as he deposited her on the bed so gently. No longer a bag of groceries but a delicate vase that needed to be wrapped in paper for storage.

Harry’s muscles were going to break her mind. “Me too,” she whispered.

“Yeah?” He paused his movements, which were undoing the button and zipper of her jeans and he looked at her with that face she adored so much. It was her best friend. The person she didn’t feel embarrassed or weird around. He probably knew her every thought before she had it. Harry had a knack for knowing what she needed. “Didn’t know that.”

“How could I not?” She asked. “You’re...you,” if it were anyone else it would mean Harry Styles. Boy band. Singer. Small time actor. Celebrity.

But on her lips...it wasn’t. It was just Harry. The person she told everything and never hid from. The one that watched her throw up with the stomach bug and hold her while she sobbed over heartbreak so bad that she got snot all over his T-shirt and he didn’t even care.

Harry already wanted to be inside her so very badly. He imagined it so many times while on tour buses and in hotel rooms. His hand fisted around his cock pretending it was her warm body imagining what she would feel like when she sent him voice memos of her singing to plants. He fell so hard for her just watching her wash dishes on FaceTime with him while he struggled to fall asleep in a hotel room that didn’t feel like their cozy apartment—although the was sure it would if she were there with him. She told bad jokes like he did and always laughed at his. Even when she had already heard it. Her smile lit up the room.

The moment he saw her he didn’t get butterflies. There was no symphony of classical music. Instead, his heart rate slowed. There was this glow around her. Like an aura of sunlight backlighting her figure. It was his best friend. The person he never felt like a celebrity around. It was just her and Harry when they were together. It should have been so obvious. This should have happened ages ago. But right now, he wanted to ask her all the thoughts he didn’t know; she wanted this. Had wanted this for a while.

Maybe he should have stopped and asked her more. They would have all the time in the world. But he wanted to prove that he could make her cum and that no one—especially her—would fake it with him. There would be time for questions later. Harry was certain that he could do it all with her. Everything.

Harry’s lips were back on hers, his kiss languid now and she felt it vibrate through every cell in her body. Her toes tingled and she had her hands fisted into his hair and pulled him closer to her. His hands pulled her jeans down her thighs and off her legs. His fingers trailed slowly up her shin, and he hooked it over his hip as he dipped down to grind against her and just the pair of underwear separating her from his clothing.

“You’ve never seen me naked,” she reminded him as he tugged his shirt over his head.

“Uh...” he chuckled sheepishly. “Might have caught y’leaving the shower a few times.”

She gaped at him. “Harry!”

“Oh please, kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “Know y’saw me when m’drunk.” Her cheeks turned this beautiful shade of red and imagined the times Harry came stumbling in the apartment and almost immediately stripping in front of her. “Mmm...” He unbuttoned his own jeans. “S’what I thought.”

“I like what I saw,” she admitted.

“Should have told me,” he murmured and dipped back down to kiss the length of her neck. “I loved what I saw,” he promised. “Take your shirt off.”

She had no choice but to obey him. She tugged her bra with her shirt leaving her nearly totally bare in front of him. She watched his eyes roam over her. Again, she expected it to be uncomfortable, but it was as if it was the only thing that made any sense at all.

Harry was looking at her as if she was a sculpture in a museum. His gaze was heavy and warm. “I don’t want t’stop looking at you,” he murmured. “You’re gorgeous, kitten.”

It felt like someone had set her on fire. His skin was warm against her body, and she tried to remind herself that this was her actual life. It wasn’t one of her really good dreams. His boxers were thin—so were her panties—keeping very little between them. The last bits of fabric separating each other from where she wanted him most.

“No faking it.”

“Somehow, I don’t think it’ll be a problem,” she tilted her head back to give him more access to her collarbones. She wasn’t one to have a display of love bites, but she wanted him to suck her skin purple and bruised with a reminder that he was really going to make her cum.

“Kitten,” he pulled away from her. He pinned her hands beside her head, pushed himself to hover above her. His cross dangled from his chest. It felt like it was hypnotizing her.

But Harry looked at her... like... like he loved her. “Any time y’want to stop, you say it,” he warned her. “Promise me.”

The air in her lungs felt like it was choking her. “Promise,” she whispered.

“Don’t y’dare fake it,” he reminded her again and pushed to the side of her body to tug his boxers off. She tried not to stare but he was so long and firm. It was impossible not to look.

“I can’t,” she spoke before she thought about what she was saying.

He smirked and looked down at her panties separating him from where he wanted to be most. “D’you have an attachment t’these?” He asked his finger dipping into the elastic of the half-lace, half-spandex fabric. She shook her head. “Good,” he murmured and ripped the hole he spotted in the lace when he pulled her pants down her legs earlier.

Oh, there was no way she would need to fake it.

“Gonna make y’cum so hard, kitten,” he promised bringing his mouth to the inside of her thigh and pressing wet, warm kisses on her soft skin. He was losing his mind being so close to where he wanted to be most. “Where’s y’cactus?” He asked teasingly.

She was gone. Harry’s breath was so close to the apex of her thighs. She was aching. He ripped her underwear off. His question didn’t even register in her clouded mind. She arched toward him wanting his mouth between her legs more than she ever wanted anything.

“Kitten,” he hummed his nose brushing against her sensitive thighs. She wanted to close her legs around his head. “Asked y’something.”

“What?” She asked.

He chuckled, his breath torturing her body in ways she never imagined. “Cactus.”

“No...” she shook her head. “Please no,” she whimpered. She didn’t want that. She wanted Harry. Wanted his lips on her and his cock inside her. She wanted him and only him.

“Just in case, love,” he promised. “Gonna take care of you, promise,” he kissed the inside of her legs. “Mmm...” he sighed. “Please, kitten,” he begged.

“Fucking hell,” she whispered and reached blindly behind her pillows and pulled the vibrator from the pillowcase and tossed it beside them on the empty space of her bed.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he moaned and pressed his lips to her dripping hole.

She gasped and arched immediately into his face, and he gripped the outside of her hips so hard they would certainly bruise. He was sinfully good at it. It felt like he knew exactly what he was doing. How on earth could he write a song about someone faking it? She was going to cum in seconds. His tongue dipped perfectly between her folds and pressed into spaces she didn’t know could feel so good. He slipped further up and flicked his tongue against her clit so expertly it felt like his mouth belonged between her legs.

“Feel like y’part of m’body,” he murmured into her thigh while he took a moment to breathe. The cool air made her spin as well as the words that came from his lips. She grabbed fistfuls of his curls and tugged him back to her center. “Y’like that, kitten?” He asked against her sensitive skin.

“Yes,” she whimpered. She couldn’t even give into the teasing in his voice. She couldn’t manage any sort of flirting. All she wanted was his mouth to lick her until she couldn’t move.

“Good girl,” he whispered as he sucked her clit between his lips so he could focus his tongue’s attention on the little bundle that would drive her mad. She keened and whimpered tugging on his hair. Her heels dug into his back as she tried to get him closer to her even though it was impossible. He couldn’t get closer. “Y’taste like heaven, kitten,” he murmured. He felt drunk on her. He would stay there forever. Even with the feeling of how hard he was had him rutting against her comforter. It was worth it. Just to smell her, taste her, kiss her most sensitive skin and lick every part of her that deserved the utmost attention. “S’good, baby,” he cooed. “Good girl,” he repeated as she pulled his hair harder. “Keep doing that,” he murmured. “Good girl.”

“Harry,” she whimpered.

“S’good, good,” he praised.

Holy shit. She could feel the heat spreading all through her body. She was going to explode, and she felt like she wouldn’t be able to stop if she didn’t do something right now. “Stop, stop, stop,” she begged, her voice breathy as she released his curls and removed her legs from their vice around his body.

Harry ripped from her immediately, alarm and worry painting his features. “What, s’wrong, kitten?” He asked. Her best friend was back. The person that worried about her when she fell asleep with a candle burning. The only one who seemed to care that she made it home safely when it was raining, and he wasn’t even in the same country as her.

Her breath came in pants, and she felt so utterly fucked out already she was so screwed when he was finally inside her. “Want you inside me,” she whispered her cheeks blushing with the request.

Relief replaced the terrified expression on his face. He even smiled so beautifully, like she was the most amazing thing he had ever had the pleasure of gazing at for any period of time. He thought she was regretting it. Hated it. Wanted nothing to do with him. The idea of losing his best friend was unbearable. This was manageable.

“Whatever y’want, kitten,” he promised. “Condom?” He asked. She tilted her head toward the nightstand.

“Uh...” she took a deep breath. “I haven’t had sex in a while.”

“How long is a while?” He asked.

“Uh...” she swallowed. “Like... a year?”

He paused his blindly felt search into her nightstand drawer looking for a foil square. “A year?” He asked in surprise.

She nodded. “I was kind of swearing off guys...till you came to your senses,” she was joking but Harry could see the worry the hurt in her eyes because this was his best friend.

He knew her last relationship fucked with her head a lot. He didn’t know it meant she had spent the last year fucking her fingers and toys because of it. “Me?” He mumbled.

“S’always been you,” she shrugged looking away from him. He knew that look. It was the feeling of inadequacy she got whenever she struggled with wanting to be the best in her class, her job, as a daughter, and a friend...a girlfriend. “You’re just...never here.”

This was suddenly not just about making her come so hard she would make her voice hoarse from moaning his name. This was to assure her that he adored her. Every single part of her. This was safe. This was okay because it was them. “Kitten,” he whispered. “You’re m’favorite person in the world.”

She nodded, feeling stupid to bring this up now. After he nearly had her in shambles from just his tongue. She didn’t look at him and Harry brought his hand to her face and turned her to look at him. His beautiful eyes. His perfect pink lips. The way he smelled like home.

“Kitten,” he leaned down to press his lips on her forehead. “Y’should have said something. Only an idiot would give y’up.”

“But you’re...” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I know you’re my Harry... but you are someone... someone important,” she whispered. “I’m just...”

“No,” he interrupted. “No, love. You are the most important person I know.”

Looking up at him through her lashes had his heart skipping a beat. He smiled kindly at her. “We don’t have t’do this right now,” he offered. Maybe the conversation should have happened first.

“Scared you can’t make me come?” She asked delight dancing in her eyes.

He glared at her. “Don’t.”

“No...m’good. Also, if you don’t make me come...after all that, I might cry.”

“Well...” he ripped the wrapper open with his teeth and slid the rubber over his shaft. “Definitely don’t want that,” he smirked. “What’s your favorite position, kitten?” He asked pumping his hand gently over his length along with the condom. At the same time he brought his hand down to her center lightly rubbing his index finger over her clit.

She felt embarrassment flood her body. “Um...”

“No faking, I’ll know,” he promised dipping his finger lower between her folds. As if this was normal. A conversation that two best friends had all the time while they looked at each other naked. She closed her eyes and pushed herself over until she was on all fours. Harry moaned. “Beautiful,” he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her fleshy backside before he lined himself up behind her. “Say if it hurts, angel,” he mumbled. She felt the tip of him enter her, but it didn’t seem to matter that she was dripping with desire for him. He felt enormous as he slowly slid in. He was patient and slow and paused periodically until his torso pressed snuggly against her pretty bum. She moaned low and arched so her hands gripped the top of the mattress below the pillows, her face smushed against the comforter. He tilted his head back and moaned in response, the condom doing very little to prevent him from feeling like exploding inside her just from entering her. “Oh, s’good, angel. Good girl. Taking me so well,” he crooned. She felt like his voice was going to send her into a spiral. It never felt like this. It felt like she was meant to have Harry inside her. “S’that good, baby?” He asked hands gripping the outside of her hips. “Y’feel like heaven, love,” he moaned. “Think m’gonna last two seconds when I start moving.”

She managed a light laughter, but it felt so good to be wrapped around him. His fingers digging into her skin made her feel so...good. “You can move,” she told him.

“Yeah?” He croaked feeling so heavenly already. She dropped her chest to the mattress and Harry thought the curve of her spine dipping was so fucking gorgeous he practically wanted to cry. “Y’sure?”

“Please.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Slowly he pulled himself out till just the tip of his cock was in her warm, wet pussy and then slid back in a little faster. She moaned and Harry felt her clench around him at the same time. “Oh,” he groaned his hand sliding down the length of her spine and gripping a handful of her bum. “Careful, kitten,” he whispered.

She was backing herself up to him as he pressed forward creating this heavenly feel that made every part of her shake with desire for him. “No faking,” he murmured.

“No faking,” she repeated breathlessly.

“Good girl,” he cooed rubbing her sides as he snapped his hips toward her and enjoying the view of her naked skin before him. He smacked the side of her bum not quite hard, but not quite gentle. She whimpered and clenched again making Harry gasp out. “Oh good girl,” he grunted his voice hoarse with desire. “S’good. Do that again,” he spanked her with the same force again. “S’a good girl.”

“Harry,” she could feel the knot in her stomach unraveling. She moaned into the mattress, her heart rate skyrocketing. “I’m—”

“Good, good girl,” he praised. “Cum. Cum all over me, good girl,” he whispered. Leaning forward to reach around her hip and pressed on the bundle of nerves to set her over the edge.

“Oh, yes,” she whispered breathlessly her body slumping forward as Harry felt the waves of pleasure cause her to flutter around him making his mind spin while he tried to focus on riding out her orgasm so she felt it for as long as she could. She was twitching and whimpering as the waves subsided and Harry kept pumping into her.

“Good girl. Right there, kitten,” he whispered. “M’right there,” he promised croaking out the words thickly as he finally spilled into the condom with three final deep pumps. He pulled himself out causing a hiss to escape his lips. Her hips slumped down to the mattress and Harry twisted off and tossed the condom into the trash by her bedside.

He turned her over to her back so he could gaze at her lovingly. It made her stomach twist. “No faking?” He asked cupping her face as she took deep breaths. The smile on his lips made her crazy with adoration for him.

“Yeah,” she smirked. “Faked the whole thing.”

He chuckled. “Want your cactus?” He smirked.

She shook her head and pressed her face against his chest as she brought her hand to his face and kissed him softly on the lips. “M’good,” she promised.

“Good.”

“You didn’t fake it, did you?” She asked.

“Oh kitten. S’no way,” he kissed the top of her head. “S’all you. Always been you.”

-

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever @harrysxcarolina @st-ev-ie @lovrave

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[plumbobpaparazzi]

Peek into my Mods folder...

This is dedicated to @alltimefail-sims or anyone who needs a little help with lag!

I have several mods I refer to as "efficiency mods" that are little quality-of-life tweaks that make the game smoother for me, either by reducing lag or reducing immersion-breaking hiccups. As always, your mileage may vary, but hopefully this is helpful to someone. :) List of mods under cut to keep your dash clean.

No Intro - Whether you are trying to 50/50 your mods, testing new CC, or just need to shave time off your game loading... get rid of the cinematic intro.

Free Will Delay - Do your sims curbstomp their queue and proceed to fuck off to something unrelated? Yeah, me too, until I got this mod. From the mod description: "[E]very time you tell your sim to do something, they will be forced to listen! …For 5 minutes. Then they get free will back again. This is probably why controlling Sims in Sims 4 feels so bad! Because you lose control the second they start doing what they're told. Even if you queue up actions, the total time is STILL five minutes- because it goes from the last direction you give your sim. So you can tell them to do 3 hours worth of stuff while paused…and they'll get control back after 5 minutes. This mod changes this timeframe to an option of your choosing, to make controlling your sims feel more rigid."

Simulation Unclogger - This is an oldie-but-goodie mod from Turbodriver that helps interrupt when Sims get stuck in an endless action loop.

Evolve/Fertilize All Plants - Kind of weird how we can Harvest All but you can't Evolve or Fertilize All, right?

No Empty Venues When Arriving - Helps with the issue of going to a community lot and waiting around for Sims to show up. May cause increased lag if you are bottlenecked by RAM.

Food Autonomy Overhaul - Stops your stupid Sims from eating ingredients, AND allows Sims who hate cooking to autonomously grab quick meals. Didn't know they wouldn't do that? Yeah. That's a thing.

Don't Do That! Version 1 and Version 2 - Removes autonomy on annoying actions that can't be affected by MCCC tuner, like reactions and some trait idle animations.

Less Obsession - Lowers autonomy for certain things without disabling entirely. I still want my Sims to paint, but I don't want them to start a new figure painting any time they are left unsupervised.

Smarter Self-Care - Makes Sims prioritize their needs better before they are uncomfortable. I only use the packages for NPCs and Pets.

NPC Relationship Autonomy Fix - Stops random Sims from breaking into your house to ask to be your BFF (and tunes the requirements so they actually have to be your friend first.)

Buy More Upgrade Parts - Allows you to buy a package of 50 upgrade parts for when you are grinding out handiness or robotics.

The following mods are all by Bienchen and don't have a direct page for each package. You can search by name pretty easily on their website. I recommend flipping through and grabbing anything you find useful - I have a total of 368 of their mods installed. Here are some highlights:

novisibleecoeffects - The aurora will nuke your framerate. I know it's pretty, but oh my god.

noautonomousbakewhitecake - Does what it says on the tin, keeps your house from being overrun by cakes.

harvestnogroupinteraction - Stops club members from autonomously harvesting plants. Those are MY death flowers!

lessemotionidles - Reduces unnecessary idle animations from emotions, great for preventing your Sims from looking flirty at inappropriate times...

lesspreferenceidles - Stops your sims from thinking about how much they like fishing/fitness/etc. when they should be doing things.

happytoddleridledisabled - Stops the idling from the Happy Toddler trait. SUPER useful for family gameplay.

laundry_buffsandsoloidlesfix - Stops or reduces idles related to laundry. It's just clothes, bro

eldertweak - Reduces elder animation idles.

hastopeewalkstyleforchildonly - Helps get your Sims to the toilet in a reasonable amount of time.

tinyhousebuffhider - I know I'm in a Tiny Home, I don't need a moodlet.

lottraiteffectshider - Hides the little floating lightbulbs around Sims heads from lot traits.

notraitnotifications - I know my geek likes video games, I don't need the pop-up every time I play.

noholidayoutcomenotification - Please don't rub my nose in the fact I forgot to celebrate.

nofestivalnotifications and nofestivalnotificationsound - Helpful when a pack is new, but years later... no thanks.

noenrollmentandscholarshipinfo - No more info screen about the two universities. I think most of us know it all by now.

nouprootplant - Never cry because of a misclick again

simschangeoutfitwhenhotorcold - Should have already been autonomous, but alas.

novisualpoliteintroeffects - I don't know if I am the only one, but the glowing really bothers me.

restaurantsittweak - Sit down and eat your dang food! No more wandering Sims.

longerprom - Takes 6 hours instead of 4 so you can actually do something.

I probably have other QoL mods that could be helpful, but these are my recommendations to start with. Love to all the modders that keep this game playable <3

[annievrse]

it's a bad idea, right?

eren x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: seeing your ex after a night out… it’s a bad idea, right? cw: 18+, smut (afab!reader, unprotected sex, creampie), exes to lovers, swearing. w/c: 4.5k a/n: first time writing a ~proper~ smut, kinda bad, kinda fucking terrified to post but, we move 💪 olivia's new song is perfect for an exes to lovers whore such as myself, so i had to use it in a fic. enjoy :)

Despite having the same friends, you hadn’t seen or heard from your ex for 2 months. The break-up was mutual, something about growing apart and wanting different things. Sure, you were upset, devastated even, but something inside you that knew you’d hold him again. And somehow, that one sliver of hope had wrapped around your heart and held it hostage. 

It’s how you found yourself at Moose with your two friends, Hitch and Annie, on the brink of passing out. The club’s multicoloured lights gave you a headache, and the generous amount of alcohol you had consumed an hour earlier started to wear off, but you continued to dance, laugh, and sing with the two girls. 

You held your phone in your hand as you threw your arms in the air. The room was lively and had been the best night you’d had at Moose in the past few months (or maybe it was because you knew who would call you tonight…). 

But when Hitch slapped you on the arm, and the phone in your hand started vibrating simultaneously, you had an inkling of who was calling.

“Don’t answer it,” Hitch yelled over the music, her eyes narrowed. 

You shrugged and, without looking, declined the call. “Who was it?”

“Don’t act dumb,” She shook her head, still jumping around. 

You rolled your lips between your teeth, and your heart started pounding faster. There was only one person who could elicit that tone from Hitch. 

You kept a playful smile on your face, and it remained when your phone rang again. But, this time, you faced the screen toward your body so the girls wouldn’t see. 

Eren’s name flashed on the screen, along with his contact photo: him with bedhead, shirtless, with the biggest smile on his face. Why his contact was still in your phone, with that specific photo, was beyond you, but all questions were out of your head when you turned around and left the dance floor without explanation. 

Swiping right to answer, you brought your phone to your ear. “What?” It probably wasn’t the most polite thing to say, but you were half-drunk, and your feet hurt. 

“Hi to you too, baby.” 

The tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in months. 

“Eren,” You said, squeezing through groups to get to the bar. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m great, actually, now that I’m talking to you.”  

You could hear the smirk in his voice over the music, and that’s when you could tell you were in trouble. “What’s up?” 

He hummed into the receiver, but you could barely catch it. “Wanna come over tonight?” 

“Why?” You asked, but it was playful. 

“I got a new place. Wanna give you a tour.” 

“Do you? Well, where was this call, I don’t know, a month ago?” 

Eren groaned into his phone. “Just come! Please, I miss you.” 

You paused as you were adjusting your spot on the bar stool. “You want me to come over?” 

“Do you want to come over?” 

“Yes,” Your voice was breathless as you answered, and Eren’s soft laughter in the background wasn’t helping. “As friends.” 

“Okay, yeah. I’ll text you the address, bestie,” He said. “Can’t wait to see you.” 

And then he hung up. You knew what he wanted because you wanted it too. 

Flashes of Eren played on a loop in your head: the last time you saw him, the first time, him smiling at you in that cocky way of his, his body on top of yours, his under yours… it was insanity.

“Why’d you leave?” Hitch shouted in your ear. You jumped, a guilty look on your face that you hoped she and Annie wouldn’t notice. 

“I feel sick. I think I might go home,” You cringed at how the words came out of your mouth. 

And when Annie side-eyed Hitch, you knew they knew you were lying. 

“I’ll just get an Uber,” You unlocked your phone and clicked on the app, receiving a text from Eren simultaneously. 

How convenient. 

Typing in 843 Campanula Street, CS Apartments, you knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. A car popped up: 5 minutes away. 

Getting up to leave, you knew they would follow you outside. So, you held Hitch’s hand and pulled her, who pulled Annie out of the crowd and out of the entrance. You adjusted your purse on your shoulder and stepped out into the warm night air. 

“You should probably not see Eren tonight. You’re not in the right headspace,” Hitch said behind you. She knew you were lying about feeling sick, so you may as well play into it.

“Can’t two people reconnect?” You teased, glancing over your shoulder. 

“Bullshit,” Annie stated boredly. 

Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…

“Listen, I only see him as a friend,” You rolled your eyes. “We’re done, we’re through, we’re never ever getting back together, okay?” 

Hitch and Annie shared a look. You’d just told the biggest lie you’ve ever said. 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” You looked down the road for your Uber.

Then Hitch choked out a laugh and Annie sighed. You furrowed your eyebrows. 

“We just don’t want you to get hurt again,” Hitch said softly after she finished coughing. 

You shook your head. “I won’t. Besides, I’m going straight home. I’ll ask him what’s up in the morning.” 

Hitch nodded knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Have fun at home. Text us when you get there.” 

Your Uber pulled up next to the curb. You smiled at Hitch and wrapped your arms around her neck. “See you.”

Turning toward Annie, you only grinned, making her look more bored. “Don’t be an idiot.” 

You threw your hands up in defence. “I’m not. I’m going home.”

“Bye then,” Annie waved and turned to reenter the club. Hitch stayed a little longer to ensure the Uber left, waving enthusiastically after it. 

You knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. 

Fuck it, it’s fine. 

—

When the elevator dinged, you stepped out onto the second floor. It was a nice complex with white walls, gold door handles, and dark, clean carpet, an upgrade from his previous apartment complex just off-campus. 

The floor was quiet for a Saturday night, except for the bass from party music coming from the lower floor. The carpet was plush under your feet, and the hanging lights were gold too. Maybe you were more tipsy than you thought as you picked out details you would’ve before. 

You saw nobody as you passed the first apartments. But, as you turned the corner of the hallway, Eren was standing in the doorway of the last apartment with a cocky grin. 

“Hey,” he called. You looked around and hushed him. It was 1am, after all. “Pish, they’re probably all out anyway.”

You felt your face heat up when you got closer, feeling self-conscious in your party dress and shoeless feet. But you couldn’t stop looking at him. Somehow, in the last 2 months, Eren had gotten more attractive. His black t-shirt was taut against his chest and biceps. His hair was pulled back into its usual half-bun, but the pieces in the front made him look prettier. You swore you’d seen someone much hotter for your sanity, but nobody came to mind. God, he really encapsulated everything you’d ever want and need. 

“Seeing you tonight… It’s a bad idea, right?” You giggled, swinging your heels in your hand. 

“I’d say it’s the best idea ever, but depends on who you ask,” His eyes raked up your body as you walked toward him. “Besides, just friends, right?”

The dimple you’d missed appeared on his cheek as he smirked, and your confidence grew. 

“We’re the best of friends,” At the sound of your voice so low and sultry, Eren blinked. 

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and when you reached him, his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your cheek flush against his chest. The action didn’t surprise you because you would do the same. 

“Hi,” He whispered before pushing you away, his hands still on your shoulders.

You were going to speak, but your brain short-circuited. The rational side of your brain continuously asked you why, why, why, while the other side screamed at you to kiss him. It was a jumble of static and blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 

All you could think about was him. 

Fuck it, it’s fine!

“Wanna show me,” You paused, flickering your eyes to his. The usual bright green of his eyes turned darker, and his grip on your shoulders tightened—his hands were burning your skin. “The apartment?” 

This seemed to snap Eren out of his daze because he shook his head to rid his thoughts, then nodded, stepping back and widening the door to welcome you. 

“Uh, yeah, so…” Eren stumbled, closing the door behind him. “This is the apartment.” 

You walked inside, placing your purse on the granite kitchen counter and your heels on the floor. 

“It’s lovely,” You muttered. From the couch to the posters and photos on the walls, it was so Eren, but it was mature. And it was lovely, different, attractive, but your attention wasn’t on the decor. It was on the owner of said decor, but you weren’t going to make that obvious yet. 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck as he watched you look around the space: into the open-plan living room, down the small hallway to the bathroom and the spare bedroom, and then back into the kitchen and to the lone door on the other side of the living room. 

“Your bedroom?” You asked, your voice light. You weren’t giving anything away yet. It was risky being here in the first place. There were reasons why you broke up, but you didn’t care at that moment. This was more fun than ignoring each other. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eren teased, breaking out of his frozen state to meet you at the door. 

The air was charged like it used to be, but you dismissed it, making a beeline for the couch—a large L-shaped black leather lounge. As soon as you sat down, all the aching in your back dissipated as you sunk deeper into the throw cushions. You groaned in relaxation, propping your feet up.

“Why do you always get the comfiest couches?” You closed your eyes. “S’not fair.” 

Eren didn’t say anything as you shuffled around to get comfortable, pulling the hem of your dress down your legs. He looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 01:47.

“You tired, hm?” He asked, and you nodded, pretending to yawn. Eren narrowed his eyes when you did so. He’d seen that action before, the lesser version of your actual yawn—he’d seen the real one too many times to know when you were faking. 

“Guess I’ll take you home then.” 

Your eyes snapped open, and you shook your head. But when you saw Eren, a cocky smirk rested on his face, much like when you arrived. 

“I knew you were faking,” He laughed, stalking toward you. You pouted and looked up at him, your gaze catching his for a second before you looked away. 

“A more detailed tour, please,” You reached out your hand, and Eren pulled you up. 

The momentary touch of skin on skin was enough to fry your brain for a few minutes as you mechanically followed him into the bathroom, where you washed your face with his face wash, then into the spare bedroom to look at the view from the window, and finally, into Eren’s bedroom off the living room. 

Nothing was said as you entered, but the smell of his room was the same as it had always been—it was just in a different space without you to experience it. Cedar, geranium, bergamot, apple. It was the scent you bought him for his 19th birthday 4 years ago when you first started dating. You were stepping into a time machine, and all the emotions that came with it hit you in the face. 

You willed yourself not to cry as you turned your back to him to look over his desk. You ignored the few extra things he’d gathered without you in the two months you’d be apart, but it was all the same. It was Eren. 

“You like it?” He mumbled, the heat on your back making sense. You didn’t realise how close he was standing until he spoke, his hands on the desk beside you, caging you in. 

“It’s very you, Ren. The whole thing,” You spun around, your hips against his. “I really like it.” 

He smiled in relief and let his eyes wander your expression, recounting every mark, pore, scar on your face that he had memorised. It was all the same. You were still you. 

“I’m glad,” He breathed. “Thanks, bestie.” 

But you didn’t laugh. Your eyes were focused on his mouth. The realisation made Eren lick his lips again, but you noticed they twitched with anticipation this time. 

“This okay?” You whispered, slowly wounding your arms around his neck and pushing your hips harder against his. 

“You’re kidding, right?” He smirked, gaining his confidence back. His hands slid from the desk to your hips, and he leaned closer, breaths mixing, lips lingering. “I missed you so fucking much.” 

Eren’s lips brushed yours as he spoke. And you almost caved. Your fingers played with the loose hairs of his half-bun, and the action reminded you that you’d done this before, more than you could count—but never in the situation you were in right then. 

“Fuck it.” 

You don’t know who made the first move, but soon Eren was swiping everything off his desk and onto the floor so he could lift you onto his desk. You spread your legs apart and locked your ankles around his hips, pulling him closer. The kisses were sloppy and hasty, making up for lost time. You smiled when he began pushing the hem of your dress higher, his teeth tapping yours as he grinned too. 

Panting into each other’s mouths, you slid your hands down his chest and into the waistband of his sweatpants. 

“I want these off,” You mumbled, getting your nails under his briefs and pulling them down with his pants.

“Well, I want this off,” Eren laughed, reaching behind you to fiddle with the zipper on the back. The sudden exposure of your back to the hot air of his bedroom sent goosebumps over your skin. 

The front of your dress began to loosen, and soon, Eren pulled away from you, his hands carefully dragging the straps of your dress down your arms. His sweats were halfway down his legs, and his briefs sat awkwardly over his ass, but he couldn’t care less, not when you looked the way you did. 

The more you reflect on that night, the more you disagree. The thought of being in a club not an hour ago left you feeling gross and probably smelling gross too. But at that moment, you didn’t care because you were with him, in his new room and apartment, and all you could think about was him.

Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 

Eren laughed breathlessly at the sight of your tits, and when your dress was at your waist, he cupped them with his palms. “Fuck, I missed you.” 

Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 

When Eren leaned down to press kisses to your neck, you reached your hands to play with his hair again. “I… missed you… too.”

“Tell me what you want,” He breathed heavily into the space under your ear when he heard you struggle around the words. 

You whined in response, tilting your head back.

He laughed lowly. “I know you know how to use your words, pretty girl.” 

The pet name caused a moan to escape your throat, and soon you were clenching around nothing. Your mind was far away, head in the clouds, from being with him like this again. “You…” 

“Where?” He pulled away from your neck, his lips plump. “Where do you want me?” 

“Eren…” You frowned, eyes half-lidded as you looked at him. Eren’s eyes retraced your expression, his hands brushing stray strands from your face. 

A cheeky grin spread across his cheeks. “You’re so damn cute.” 

“Everywhere,” You finalised, leaning up to capture his lips with yours. 

Eren got the message and wrapped his large hands under your thighs to pick you up. Your legs remained around him as he expertly approached the bed without looking. 

“Gotten a lot of practice at that?” You joked, breathless. 

But, Eren shook his head and kissed your cheek. “There’s only ever been you.” 

The thought brought heat to your ears, cheeks, and body, and soon, you were burning. “Me too.” 

“Fuck,” He half-laughed, half-groaned, laying you on the bed. Eren gave you a crazy grin before he opened his mouth, biting your shoulder. You tried to push him away, giggling, but you never forgot his strength. He went down your body, pulling your dress down your legs as he went, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your stomach. Gripping the sheets, you arched, keening into him, chasing the buzz of his lips and the feverish marks they leave. But before he reached your underwear, he sat back his heels and pulled his shirt over his head by the back collar—like he always did. 

There was nothing to be shy about, you’d done this a thousand times with him, but you placed a hand on your torso nonetheless. When Eren noticed this, he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Nuh, uh, no being shy around me,” he whispered and picked your hand up, holding it as he leaned over you. You quickly spread your legs to make room for him between them, and he wasted no time filling the space, tucking his other arm underneath your shoulders and lifting you up so your chests were flush. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and will ever see, understand? Us not being together doesn’t change that.” 

You sighed, tears springing in the corners of your eyes. Maybe it was the moment or the weeks of not speaking to the one man you trusted with your life, but you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out next. 

“I love you,” You mumbled, lifting your free hand up to fun through his hair, pulling the rest out of the bun. 

Eren smiled a tender smile you knew all too well, which he reserved for you during moments like this. “And I love you. I’m gonna show you how much, okay? Will you let me do that?” Eren’s voice was soft and warm, your skin ablaze, and your heart grew tenfold. 

You nodded, searching his eyes with your own. All you saw was tenderness, infatuation, and everything you had grown accustomed to in the last 4 years. You pressed your lips against him in a quick peck in response to his original question. 

Eren laid your body back onto the bed, trailing his hand down your side and into your underwear. You gasped at the coldness of his fingers as they dragged through your slit. 

“So wet, baby,” Two of his fingers started rubbing circles around your clit, making you arch into him. “Miss me?” 

“I thought we’d already established that, Jaeger… shit,” You squeezed your eyes shut when he pushed two fingers into you. 

“Don’t get sassy with me. You know how that goes,” Eren smirked, watching you fall apart from just his fingers. 

“Eren, don’t—oh fuck,” You moaned as soon as you felt his fingers go precisely where they needed to, his thumb on your clit. He knew you inside out, and you knew he was getting off on that thought. 

Pure white pleasure set fire to your insides as you climaxed, though the embarrassment of cumming so hard on just his fingers never came. Because it always ended like this. 

You looked down at your hips, where his hand was inside your underwear, and nearly blacked out from the sheer familiarity of your first time with him. “Take those off right now. We are not repeating our first time.” 

Eren barked a laugh, shaking his head as he pulled them down your legs. “I thought it’d be cute,” He mumbled. 

“Get up here,” You scolded, but the demand was lazy and playful, making Eren want you more (if possible).

He climbed up your body again, his pants and briefs on the floor, as his cock rested against your stomach when he kissed you. There was no time to be wasted, not when you’d waited months for this to feel him again. You always knew you would hold him again. 

Eren sat up, and you wrapped your hand around his cock, lazily pumping him a few times. He was hot and heavy in your fist, and the feeling was delicious. “I haven’t even touched you yet,” You giggled. 

His eyes found your core, where you were dripping onto his dark sheets and clenching nothing, and the sight made Eren moan and screw his eyes closed. “It’s just you… fuck Y/n.” 

And then you took your hand off him, and Eren’s jaw fell open, looking down at you.

“C’mon,” He whined, and you shook your head, laying back on his bed. 

“Fuck me, Eren.” 

At your crude words, Eren bit his bottom lip to stop his smile. “Yes, ma’am.” 

He hovered over you, his hair brushing your cheeks as he looked down to guide himself into you. He ran his cock through your folds a few times, causing you to jolt, before he sunk the tip into you. 

The stretch was like coming home after a long time away, burning with slight pain before the pleasure took over. You welcomed him back into you. Circling your arms around his neck, you buried your hands in his dark locks, pulling the way you knew he loved. 

“Jesus,” Eren cursed lowly when he bottomed out; the sensation of you around him was one he’d never forget. “You good?” 

“Yeah, baby,” You squeezed his sides with your knees, dragging your nails softly along his scalp. He didn’t move for a beat, eyes trained on your nose's scrunch and relieved smile. 

“Good girl,” He whispered, pecking your lips as he rocked in and out of you. Your hands pulled at his hair harder than before, and he groaned into your lips, your mouths touching but not kissing. “You’re so tight, fuck.”

And when he picked up his pace, you cried out into his mouth, the feeling and sound of his body on top of yours familiar and obscene. Above you, Eren made the pretty sounds you’d once begged to hear again. And soon, perhaps too soon, your stomach twisted into a coil again, his thrusts becoming too much when he continually hit that one spot like he always did. His voice became rough and desperate, panting your name before the volume increased. 

Words tumbled out of his mouth sloppily, curses and jumbled questions, and your name. His usual deep groans turned to whimpers, and the sound made you reach your high faster. 

“Close?’” Eren asked, running a hand down your body to find your clit, fingers slippery as they circled quick. 

“Mmhm, yeah,” You mumbled, nodding sporadically and arching your body to mould to his, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. 

And then, the coil in your stomach snapped, and the white-hot flash that burned you from inside set you ablaze. Your body opened up for him, and Eren chased to meet you at the top, his movements becoming sloppy as he fucked you through your high. You’re too sensitive, warm, and wet, but Eren came inside, filling you fully.

He groaned deep into your ear, shuddering, and at that moment, you vowed to never let him go again.

—

After your activities last night, Eren gave you his favourite t-shirt and wrapped you up nice and tight in his sheets. You kissed him repeatedly, making promises under the blanket of night, the moon your witness. Never again would you leave, not when you knew him like you did, when you’d spent four years of your life moulding to each other. You cried, Eren cried, you laughed, he held you, you flicked his forehead, he tickled you. It was like you’d never said the words that caused the downward spiral of your life in the first place. 

Reaching over to grab your phone off the bedside table, your notifications were filled with messages on messages from your group chat with Hitch and Annie, and… Reiner?

07:24 Hitch: Where are you?????? Answer pls!!!!

07:59 Annie: Y/n istg 

08:50 You: Sorry I was asleep

08:50 Hitch: Thank god 

08:51 Hitch: We’re gonna facetime rn 

You groaned and turned your head toward a sleeping Eren. His hair was all over the place, his face innocent and soft, his skin golden and back bare. He was all you could ever want and more.

You slowly lifted the charcoal grey duvet to swing your legs out and sat up. Your entire body ached, and your legs shook as you stood up. Stifling a laugh of embarrassment, you tiptoed out of his room, careful of the one creaking floorboard he’d warned you about the night before.

It wasn’t until you got to the living room that your phone vibrated with an incoming group Facetime. 

“Hi,” You said tiredly, trying to block as much background as possible; they knew your apartment better than you did. 

“Good morning,” Hitch glared through the screen. Annie said nothing. 

“What happened to your neck? Hm?” The brunette asked, her voice accusatory. 

You moved toward the couch, sitting on the lush black leather, tucking a pillow behind your back. “Oh, I tripped and fell—”

“Yeah, into Eren’s bed,” Annie cut you off. 

Hitch muffled a laugh, and you stared at her in disbelief. 

Your mouth opened and closed with no sound. “No?” You visibly cringed when the usual statement came out as a question. 

“Y/n!” Hitch yelled, a smile taking over her false scold. Annie rolled her eyes with a hint of a smirk. Then, all that could be heard was laughter. 

“Well, at least you’re okay. I mean, it’s just Eren,” Hitch giggled. You smiled at her, grateful for your friends. 

“Oh! Reiner texted me too,” You suddenly remembered seeing his name on your lock screen. 

“Reiner?” The confusion in Hitch’s voice matched the thoughts in your mind. Why would Reiner text you privately?

You clicked around your phone until you opened Reiner’s message. 

02:49 Reiner: i’m happy for u and all, but pls stfu

But you couldn't find it in yourself to care, even after the realisation that all your friends knew you'd slept together washed over you. Because all you cared about was him.

Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…

a/n: prologue

[chai-berries]

i’m a little crybaby bitch & i just sobbed over a movie but all i could think about is being abby’s little crybaby gf & having her comfort me </3

sooo unfortunately/fortunately i am not a big crier when it comes to anything but one of my best friends is a happy/sad/bored crier and i’ve helped her calm down post cry a few times. she’s a true cancer <3 i’ll channel her into my thoughts.

im thinking of two scenarios, watching something sad without abby & watching it with her ⤵️

watching without abby:

she’d probably be working on something in another room when you decide to start a sad fucking movie. abby’s ears perk at the first sniffle, but she brushes it off cause it’s always allergy season. but when she hears you shakily breathe out “oh,,, my gOD” with your voice all broken and wet, she’s immediately sliding to a stop right outside the living room. you’re curled up with a huge blanket swallowing you, surrounded by snacks and your emotional support water bottle. she notes your wide, glossy eyes and coos “baby what’s wrong?” and you gesture at the tv, “she - she just loves her family so so much! and she couldn’t tell them before they died!” your voice is cracking around your words.

abby has absolutely no idea who “she” is but that doesn’t keep her from sitting down and pulling you into her side, rubbing her hand up and down your arm. “they’re just a - a great family” you stutter though tears. abby looks up at the tv and sighs. “baby, why did you chose the saddest movie on netflix?” you hesitate. “uh, i was up to the challenge?” “yeah? how’s it going?” she quirks a brow at you. you laugh wetly and abby mentally fist pumps. she presses a kiss to your temple. “okay, how about we watch something happy. ill refill your water.” abby gets up to go into the kitchen when she’s stopped by a tug on her back belt loop. you’re looking up at her, eyes less glossy but still not dry enough. “what?” she asks. “thanks for putting up with a crybaby for a girlfriend.” she picks up your hand from its place at her waist and brings it up to her lips. “anything for you sweet cheeks”

watching with abby:

“no, no, no, nah, not happening! abby, please tell me they’re not gonna do what i think they’re gonna do!” you pause the movie and shake abby’s shoulder, your face so serious in the light of the television. abby giggles and shrugs like a fucking twerp and nudges you to keep watching the movie. she tells you that “you’ll find out soon - keep watching” like she’s never, in all the time you’ve been together, been witness to the millions of times you deep dived imdb and wikipedia five minutes into a movie whenever it starts out with a sad scene.

you don’t do sad movies. and it’s for a good reason! you get all dehydrated and you look sick for hours afterwards!! it’s embarrassing and gross!! abby has witnessed it once and, like her father’s daughter, handed you a glass of water and pulled you gently into her arms, holding you until you got your breathing under control. and that was a week before you asked her out!! on your first date she told you that the crying thing made her want to “take care of you forever”… is it too obvious to point out that she soooooo got lucky that night?

however, in present time she might be sleeping on the couch for trying to get a depressing movie past you. she apologizes to you, tucking you under her arm. “i promise it’s gonna be worth your tears, okay?” she kisses your head. “and i always take care of my crybaby girlfriend, don’t i?” she kisses the same spot again. you relax into her side.

… sooo it’s safe to say you sobbed a whole lot at the end and completely soaked the front of abby’s shirt. you guys had shifted horizontal mid-movie, you laying on top of her. “i hate you” sounds a lot more honest when you’re not desperately clutching at the waist of the person you’re talking to. “but it was a good story, right?? aww i’m sooo sorry, baby,” abby rubs your back. she hands you your water bottle and chocolate before you even think to ask, like she always does. then, you begin the embarrassingly to you cute to abby process that involves sips of water, bites of chocolate, and your head following the rhythm of abby’s chest up and down as you match her breaths.

<\3

no but really we all know abby will always comfort you even if she has no context to what you’re crying about! ride or die babyyyy

[edelgarfield]

daniel molloy feels like he was made for me personally but not in the usual blorbo brainrot way.

my dad had parkinson's since like 2013. it's a very long and complicated story and there's a lot i don't know because my dad deliberately kept me out of the loop when it came to his health.

but i watched him get worse and worse for a decade with no end in sight, always thinking one day far too soon i would need to learn how to care for him when i still needed him to take care of me.

but at the beginning of 2023 he got a brain implant (DBS it's a Thing for Parkinson's) and even after only a few months he felt great and he was so so excited to get to do all the things he'd had to stop because he physically couldn't do them anymore or he didn't want to be seen in public.

and then he got cancer. he died last november.

it was the most awful, cruelest, unfair twist of fate.

i watched iwtv at the beginning of this year. IMMEDIATELY in the first few minutes of daniel being onscreen I knew he had parkinson's. eric absolutely nailed the fear, & hopelessness that comes with being unable to control your own body. it was exactly like watching my dad again. it felt like a gut punch when the show confirmed it. louis offers to turn him and says "you'll be able to see your daughters get married." im ambivalent to marriage, but knowing if it ever happens my dad won't be there? why does this show have a line that feels like it's directed at ME?

you can count the number of major characters with parkinson's on your fingers & toes, so for daniel to show up NOW, in one of the most popular series in TV at the moment? i barely even WATCH media, iwtv is like the second show i've watched in the last 5 years.

the end of S2, seeing him "cured" and living again, getting to be youthful and independent. he spends the entirety of the show in a cage, under constant surveillance, the way my dad probably felt for so long, needing to have someone nearby to help him. we finally get to see daniel out in the world, free, living the life my dad nearly got before it was snatched away.

idk if it's cruel or cathartic but whenever i see daniel i think of my dad. in a small way, it's like having my dad with me for just a little bit longer.

[waitmyturtles]

Hot Take: Be On Cloud and Sammon out GMMTV-ed GMMTV with that lame-ass 4 Minutes finale

(TW: Ummm, this ended up being a rant, so don't read this if you enjoyed that finale.)

WOW.

This is not the central thesis of this post at all, but I need to get this off my chest, FIRST OF AWL: GET AN ORIGINAL OST. WOW.

LIKE, ACTUALLY, I want to not get into this, but I actually need to talk about this for a second. ICONIC OSTs like, SAY, "Why Don't You Stay" or "Just Friend" (OR THE DARK BLUE KISS THEME SONG, THE BEST ONE) are meant to invoke THE SHOW FROM WHICH THAT SONG HAILS, AND THE FEELINGS THAT THAT PARTICULAR SHOW MADE ONE FEEL. WHAT THE FUCK WAS 4 MINUTES THINKING?! THIS SHOW WAS NOT KINNPORSCHE. NOT AT ALL. I FELT NO KP FROM 4 MINUTES. I hope Jeff Satur sues BOC for copyright infringement. ANYWAY.

I mean, this is gonna be messy, but in yet another case of shippy roooooomance, a kind of rooooomance that's supposed to leave us feeling like the central couple is worth redeeming against both the obstacles that the story gives them, AND/OR a weak script as well (I wrote about this recently during a rewatch of The Eclipse), I mean, BOC and Sammon just threw an otherwise really amazing storyline to the dogs.

We were supposed to get a lot of moral and ethical loops closed here. I would have been okay with a Ton Kla redemption! I would have been okay with Korn living the rest of his life in pain and suffering for neglecting Ton Kla! Instead, they're both "redeemed" by their own deaths?! I get Win being upset, but Win, you knew who you were sleeping with! Come awn!

AND. I'm supposed to believe that Great is worth redemption because he threw a corrupt government minister under the bus and prevented his parents from coming back to Thailand, while we see him walking away from a woman having a heart attack???? Like, THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!! He's had a messy life, but he's not necessarily a good person, folks!!! HELLO!!! "He's a good person?!" TYME?? Like, Great's hot, BUT LIKE, DON'T BE LIKE THAT, TYME, GURL, ACTUALLY LOOK THRU AT WHO YOU'RE DATING.

ALSO, TYME, HIPPOCRATIC OATH, DUDE. I KNOW YOU WANT THAT GUY DEAD, AND HE DESERVES BAD THINGS, BUT YOU CAN'T MAIM HIM PURPOSELY, HOMEY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A PROFESSOR.

And LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK, putting a whole new story point about Warit's kidnapping from some dude named Wanchai who we don't even know, and finding out that Warit is a general?!?! It was JUST CONFUSING.

Also, Den dating a patient. I know medical ethics are probably different in Thailand, but they cannot be THAT DIFFERENT, friends, they can't (right? right?).

And. Finally. TYME GOT SHOT MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE CHEST AREA. He survived after two months of recovery?! HE SURVIVED POINT-BLANK SHOOTING?!?!?!??!?!?! AND GREAT SURVIVED HIS POINT-BLANK SHOOTING, TOO?!?!?!?!

LISTEN. LISTEN. I get that BOC wants GreatTyme together. JesBible are a good pair. It's fine Great and Tyme are together. It's nice.

But there was an ACTUAL storyline, told WONDERFULLY for seven episodes, that had these characters in moral and ethical chokeholds that could have received different and very much more appropriate endings. This is fiction, of course, but the moral and ethical prisons these characters were in were very real-to-life by way of what humans value, and how you balance those values against the real-time decisions that humans need to make for themselves and their families.

Instead, BOC took the wild GMMTV playbook of late (The Eclipse, 23.5, Only Friends, Wandee Goodday, even Last Twilight and My Precious) and just railroaded ethical explorations for, my GAWD, guitars and boats. GUITARS AND BOATS! If either Great or Tyme had died, how would the story have expressed regret, uncommunicated feelings, unsolved mysteries?

The ending sucked the mystery out of this series, and frankly, made light of the fact that we were not in a Series Y for seven-eighths of a runtime, only to truly suck us back into Y territory -- real, sugary, cheesy Y territory, GUITARS, THE KP OST OMG -- that just clashed with the tonality of what was shaping up to be a great queer crime murder mystery show. GMMTV already does this. BOC did not need to go there.

Funny that some of us are watching Kidnap now, and commenting (I'm stealing @shortpplfedup's words here) that Kidnap is not a crime BL, but a crime BL. Kidnap knows what it is: it is shaping up to be a fun, unserious Y series that's centered around two himbos not really understanding the consequences of their decisions, and being googly while doing it. It seems to be taking its unseriousness seriously. Good on GMMTV for taking initiative there.

4 Minutes? 4 Minutes needs moral closure, not sappy romance. I could have used a hint that we were gonna get punked earlier. I wouldn't have taken this show as seriously as I did if I had known otherwise.

[shortpplfedup]

We Are Episodes 13-16: The gentlest of landings

As if I didn't love this show enough already, it gives me a 'Love Score' joke right at the end to seal the deal. I hope GMMTV directors continue to insert that song into every possible series until the end of time.

As the saying goes: the real We Are was the friends we (and they!) made along the way. Watching this gaggle of silly boys grow into a bigger gaggle of silly boys over the past 16 weeks was surprisingly satisfying and entirely enjoyable. The final four eps are really just a fluff victory lap, but it feels so sweet.

The pillars of the show for me right to the end were the platonic bonds within and amongst the friend group: Q and Peem's friendship, the core 5, Phum and Fang's brotherly relationship, the slow enmeshing of the disparate groups into a mammoth whole, and the way everybody silently agreed that Toey was theirs and spoiled him to death. Without the platonic love surrounding the romances, this show is cute enough but simply doesn't hold up.

Speaking of the romances, the only thing left to 'resolve' in these last eps, insofar as it required resolution, was the Chain/Pun romantic arc. This thing between them has been bubbling along in the background for the entire show, as Chain slowly got bolder and bolder about expressing his feelings, and Pun seemed more and more determined to never express his. Mans literally went 'I do not see it.' When Chain's frustrations finally boiled over and he just came out with it, Pun at least didn't let the shock hold him back. Nor the hooting, hollering onlookers🤣. And yunno what, I totally agree. These two waited long enough.

I was discussing with @ginnymoonbeam the real-time nostalgia feeling of this show, and this final block of eps really put an exclamation point on that with a lot of little vignettes and montages of the couples cementing their relationships emotionally and physically, and the whole gang just having a fucking blast travelling and hanging out together. It never really matters to them what they're doing, it could be absolutely nothing, as long as they're doing it together. You can see this footage playing on a mental loop for these boys ten, twenty, fifty years from now as they reminisce about these halcyon university days having a great time with their friends and their lovers.

To wrap up, I went on and on about enjoying how this show tackled courtship, so I wanted to categorise our couples on that along with my final couple scores!

Q and Toey (interrupted courtship): 3/4 hearts

Ah the second chance romance, truly an all-time classic trope. The key to this trope is always unpacking the feels about what happened before, what's happened since, and what's happening now, and I think the show made a decent fist of covering all three of those. Also, I gotta praise Satang here. Of all the actors, he was asked to play furthest away from himself, and he really finely balanced the Toey character I thought. This character is basically twelve types of aegyo in a sack and he made it cute rather than annoying, to the point where I totally understood why the rest of these boys were ready to do anything to see him happy.

Phum and Peem (long courtship: 3.5/4 hearts

Enemies to lovers, my old friend. The only couple without a history, who really had to get to know each other, and the continued contact their servant 'deal' drove gave them the opportunity to do just that. These two probably had the most satisfying traditional romance arc of the four couples, and I think Pond and Phuwin and the chemistry they've built worked great for these characters.

Tan and Fang (delayed courtship): 4/4 hearts

Phum and Peem might have been the most traditionally narratively satisfying, but Tan and Fang gave me the most emotional satisfaction of all the couples. They were the romantic heart of this show for me, and Tan especially held the centre, as the person who put his entire focus on loving out loud, giving his friends an example to look to. I've said it before but Tan telling his friends his and Fang's story is really the fulcrum this show rests on. Aou is the MVP of this show to me, for bringing this character to vivid, lovable life.

Pun and Chain (what is a 'courtship?'): 3/4 hearts

Absolutely totally unhinged. They'll probably get married the day after Chain's confession. It's the way everybody knew it but them. True idiot4idiot representation.

Farewell my good boys! I hope we get a reunion special!

[queerheadcanoncentral]

ok hear me out. james wilson dating a transgender man for the first time and he kinda doesn’t know what to do to please someone who is ftm so he just lets them take the lead. he’s not super educated on this kind of thing but he’s super ready to learn etc. basically he’s just really pathetic and desperate to make his partner feel good. also he gets off on being called a good boy. i rest my case.

Combining this ask with a different ask i got:

"wilson smut hcs with a top reader? I'm transmasc as well so it would be great if it could be read as a strap-on and not necessarily a flesh and blood penjs"

Tags: smut, just pure smut, strap on, top trans masc reader, oral (reader recieving), bottom james wilson, no use of y/n.

Minors and fems not welcome.

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

You were the first guy that Wilson realised he had feelings for and when you guys started dating he was awkward about all of his firsts with you, first date, first kiss.

So when one evening the two of you were making out and you slipped a hand down to his crotch and palmed him through his jeans, he froze.

“oh! I'm sorry, we don't have go any further if you're not comf-” you were worried that you'd done something wrong but he was quick to reassure you. “no, no! I want to, trust me, I really want to but- It's just that, I've never done this with a guy before and I don't know how to make you feel good.”

You were very horny and you could tell that he was too, his chest rose and fell heavily, his lips were swollen and their redness matched his cheeks, you just wanted to keep going. You leaned into him, your hand sliding from his waist to his lower hip, your fingers on the side of his ass. “I can show you” you said with a comforting yet seductive smile. That just made Wilson's blood shot right down to his cock, and he swallowed thickly “yes, yes please”.

Within a second that the words left his mouth your lips were on his. It was rougher than any kiss the two of you have shared before, more full of passion and teeth. James hands went to tangle up in your hair and one of yours went to his ass while the other to support his back as you slowly lowered him to your bed. You sloted a knee between his legs, keeping him in place and started kissing his jawline, then his neck leaving wet kisses and red bite marks to which he responded with soft whimpers and moaned at the harsher bites. You reached his sweater collar and pushed up at the lower hem signaling him to take it of. He did as he was ordered and you continued to shower him with pleasure as you went lower and lower.

Once you were satisfied, with the amount of hickeys that now littered his entire upper body (and with how hard his dick grew), you pulled back and with a stern voice you ordered “get on your knees”.

He immediately scrambled to the ground next to the bed and infront of you. “Take them off” you said as you began to pull out the end of your belt from the belt loops. He took over and undid your belt, then zipper and pulled off your jeans and underwear together in an effort to save some time.

“oh.” he said, a bit surprised. “Don't tell me you didn't know I was trans” you responded, probably equally as surprised as him. “How was I supposed know? You never told me.” “Yeah, but when I talk about my childhood I said how people referred to me as a girl, and I keep my testosterone in the fridge and my needles in the bathroom… wait did you think that I'm some sort of a junkie or a doser?” “I didn't really think, I assumed that you were just a regular guy with a testosterone deficiency.” “Kind of am. Can definitely fuck your brains out like one.”

While saying the last sentence you ran your hand through his hair and punctuated it by pulling down on it, which tillted his chin up slightly and his lips parted with an involuntary moan. That send tingles down Wilsons spine and another wave of blood down to his cock. You nudged his head towards your core a bit “How do I-” “Just lick and suck”. Still unsure of what to do he licked his lips and put them on the tip of your t-dick, and you gave him an encouraging low hum “Mm, good boy. That's it”. That took some of the pressure off and, now more confidently, he went lower and started licking at your entrance. At first shallow but when you moaned he started thrusting his tounge deeper and deeper. After a few minutes you were both a mess, you with your mouth hanging open moaning and whimpering constantly, with one hand gripping James's hair, the other gripping the sheets beneath you; him with your juices all over the bottom half of his face. Feeling that you were close you pulled him off of you and marvelled at the sight beneath you. He looked beautiful like that, out of breath, his lips red and puffy and the lust behind his eyes. You could look at him like that for hours but, you see him shifting around trying to get his cock some friction.

“Take your clothes off. Get on the bed, face up”. He did as he was told and in the meantime you took off your shirt and reached into the drawer of your nightstand. He was to busy getting into his position that didn't see what you pulled out and only looked back at you when he heard a click and he saw you standing there with a 7 inch strap on. His head was spinning with anticipation and he thought to himself “this is what heaven must look like. The hottest man he's ever seen about to fuck him senseless”.

“Good boy. So obedient and ready to please” you praised him while getting on the bed and inseting yourself between his legs. Once you got in the position you uncapped the bottle of lube in your hand and poured some on your hand. First you lathered yourself up, then you slicked James's hole up. You pressed in one finger to see how stretched he is and you were quite surprised to find that he was already pretty loose. You figured that he must've played with himself before coming over to your place. You took out the finger and line the head of the dildo with his hole. You place one hand on his hip and rub small circles into it “just relax, take a deep breath” you reassure him.

As he does so and exhales you push yourself pass the ring of muscles. You can feel that he's tight by the resistance but you continue to ease into him. You stop once you're all the way in and wait for James to adapt to the size. He can feel the slight burn and it feels so good. His eyes roll to the back of his head, his mouth falls open and a low almost gutteral moan escapes from deep within him.

Once you feel him adjust you start moving again. First you go slow, just enjoying the way your boyfriend moans and the way the built in grinder brushes against your clit. After a few minutes Wilson starts to rock his hips into you “faster please”, he whimpers. “Whatever you need baby” you anwser doing as he says. You start of just a bit faster but, soon it isn't enough and you are pounding into him relentlessly. His mouth is permanently open now and the air is filled with strings of his curses and moans and your name along with wet slapping sounds and your own moans and grunts and praises flying his way, “such a good boy. You're being so good for me. That's it, you take me so well”. You're groping his behind and planting wet kisses to his neck, his legs are locked around your hips, his heels digging into your ass and his nails into your back. You can feel yourself at the edge now and if the amount of pre that is coming out of his dick is anything to go by, so is he. “do you want to make me feel good? I bet you do” “yes, yes i do” “than come with me” with that you took him in your palm and stroked him fast and tight. He thought he died. His heart was beating so hard it was going to jump out of his chest, all of his muscles contracted and started to spasm, his eyelids shut close and his back arched. All he could feel was your dildo inside of him, your hand on his cock, his cum on his stomach and your mouth on his nipple. All he could hear was his ear shattering moan. All he could smell was both of your juices combined. All he could taste was you on his tongue. If liking all of that and loving you ment that he was doomed for eternal damnation, he will set fire to himself to experience this forever. You weren't far behind and with a couple of thrusts you came and you pushed yourself deeper then even Wilson has ever been.

It took you a while to come down from your high and when you came to you pulled yourself out of your boyfriend and slumped down on his chest. His hands absentmindedly wrapped around you and you hugged him back. It took another three minutes for James to say anything, and the first thing he said was “That was… yeah.” You laughed at that and nuzzled your face into his chest “Yeah, that was”. Your voice was rough just like his. With that you got up and walked away, you came back with two glasses of water, a damp wash cloth and without the strap on. You handed him a glass and set the other one down then got to cleaning both of you up. He sat up just enough to have a sip and set the glass down.

Once you finished you threw the wash cloth somewhere near the laundry basket, took a sip of water and slid both of you under the comforter. You were to tired to take a shower and James didn't seem to mind either. “That was amazing” he finally said. You chuckled and pulled him in closer, his head on your chest, you rubbed circles into his back and whispered praises and sweet nothings into his ear while pressing soft kisses to the top of his head as punctuation “You did so good. You were so good to me. That was amazing. I love you. I'm so lucky to have you.”

Maybe you were doing to much with these praises in this context but you didn't care much about that, you just cared that you made your boyfriend happy and that he fell asleep knowing that he is loved.

This is my first time writing smut so sorry if it's kind of bad.