#probably should have left it there lmaooooo

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (06)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, kissing (omg k1ss1ng omg WHO IS IT ??? 😦), tbh this is the only warning i wanted u guys to read cuz 6 chapters in and we finally get sum action i feel like that's a win lmaooooo, jimin being Real as fook, unbeta'd cuz uhm i'm a godless menace who should be conked on the head, once again we are severely lacking jk in his own fic lol i'm owning up to this 🤗 BUT! this is probably the last chapter where jk feels like a side character lol apologies my dudes

rating: PG-13

word count: 8.1k (honestly i wrote obs6 just so i could get to obs7 lmao that's why it's a lil bit shorter)

note: my apologies if this sucks. you are legally allowed to stone me if you hate it. but i hope you don't hate it. but if you do hate it don't tell me just stone me lol 🤐 why am i so unhinged with this update

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Exile - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver)

The picture is fucking terrible.

“Jimin, what the fuck,” you grumble, staring at the huge framed photo on the wall, taken on the day of the opening party. You, Taehyung and Jimin are gathered on the floor of the dance studio, with boxes of takeout neatly sitting between the three of you. “I look like ass.”

Jimin barely glances at the wall, just continues to stuff his face with the dumplings that you ordered. “You look fine,” he says absentmindedly, mouth full, continuing to munch on the food despite your little dilemma.

“Bitch, I have my eyes closed.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I look like I’m in the middle of a sneeze.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, squinting at your photographed self again. The more you look at it, the more irritated you become.

Realistically, you know nobody would pay enough attention to notice the immortalized visual of your fluttering eyes, and you yourself wouldn’t care about it that much. Maybe you would even laugh in good spirits and poke fun at yourself as you often do. Make a meme of it for the group chat.

“What’s the big deal?” Jimin asks.

You shrug petulantly. “I told you. I look like ass.”

Yeah, true, but it’s also more than that.

It’s the fact that the person standing next to you looks so good that you must voice your grievances. It’s the fact that he looks so much more than just good. 

The guys stop eating to look at you. You wonder just how much of what you’re feeling is written all over your face. Regardless, they don’t comment on it. 

One of them clears his throat, shaking the whole thing off.

“Did you tell Yoongi anything yet?” Jimin asks.

You poke at a lone dumpling with your chopsticks, popping the ‘p’ when you say, “Nope.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Jimin scolds you. “It’s been three weeks. He doesn’t want to push you for an answer but the man has got to be suffering.”

You flick a piece of spring onion garnish at him. It lands on his hair, a single bit of green sitting among golden locks. “I don’t know what to tell him!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jimin shakes the onion piece from his head and chucks it back at you. “Obviously you say yes!”

You exhale through your nose, then take a bite of your dumpling. You nibble on the fried dough, stretching out the silence, delaying your response.

It hasn’t even started, and it might not even start. But you’re already thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Yoong is your friend, first and foremost. He’s a good friend, and you would be crushed if you lose that relationship. 

What if he hurts you, or you hurt him?

Sometimes, people are meant to hurt each other even if they don’t mean to.

Yoongi hasn’t seen your pieces in all of their jagged glory, how they’re only meant to reflect the light but never be healed by it. He’s still blissfully unaware of the ugly thoughts that have a home inside your head, and you’re afraid if you let him in, he’d realize it’s a place he doesn’t want to be. It’s hard to love a broken thing. You wouldn’t want to love you either.

Maybe this is the real reason that’s been holding you back all this time. Maybe it isn’t Jungkook - though he certainly isn’t absolved - but it’s you, and how you just don’t know if you’re someone who deserves to love and be loved. You’ve felt inadequate more times than you can count. You’ve been left before. Who’s to say it isn’t going to happen again?

You’re well aware that this is a bad way to look at things, but can anyone really blame you? You still have a heart, and despite how fragmented it is, you still want to protect it.

“I know that look,” Taehyung says, parting your fog and pulling you back to him. “You’re overthinking again.”

You roll your eyes. He knows you so well, but does he have to call you out every time?

“I’m not overthinking. I’m regular thinking.”

“Right. And to normal people, that’s overthinking.”

“It’s just…” you wonder out loud, gaze on the floor. “What if I go all in, and Yoongi sees me for who I am and thinks that I’m just an utterly sad person who can’t be loved? That I’m too much work when he’s got literally thousands of people throwing themselves at him left and right?”

Taehyung stares at the side of your face as he bites the inside of his cheek. His tongue soothes the spot, his jaw clenching once. “He’s not going to think that.”

“You don’t know that,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging down.

“You’re not unlovable just because one person didn’t love you right. So stop it with that bullshit, because I love you,” he says, voice serious. Even Jimin stays silent as he listens to his friend, his eyes flickering between you and Taehyung. “And Jimin loves you. Hobi loves you.”

You merely blink, because you hate it when he’s right. In all fairness, you understand. This is the same thing you would tell him if the situation were reversed.

You deflect anyway. That’s what you do best.

“You don’t count,” you tell him with an unserious scoff, your tone starkly contrasting his. “You’re my family.”

You taste something bitter as soon as the words leave your mouth. You should know better than anyone, that just because someone’s your family, doesn’t mean they have to love you.

Taehyung reenacts the blinking guy meme before chuckling, holding a hand over his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Ouch.”

“You two are getting nowhere,” Jimin interjects. “Just call Yoongi.”

“And say what?” you ask.

“I told you. Say yes. God, you’re so dense sometimes.”

You reach over to jab a finger into his side, making him hiss and shuffle away from you.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble.

“Well, somebody’s gotta say it.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised for a few seconds before he lowers them and grows more stern. “Come on, Y/N. You know you don’t want to say no, or else you would’ve turned him down already. You said you wanted to start dating again. Yoongi is practically on his knees offering himself to you. What are you waiting for?”

There’s a voice in the back of your head - tiny, barely audible - that whispers, Who are you waiting for?

“Fuck it, I’ll say it,” Jimin continues. “It sucks balls that Jungkook hurt you, but you can’t let that affect you for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to hurt you. You’re not even giving Yoongi a chance just because someone else did you dirty. If you keep always thinking about the worst possible outcome and banking on it to happen, then you’re never going to get anywhere. I love you, dude, but y’know.”

You stare at Jimin with your mouth slightly open, stunned into silence. When you glance at Taehyung, he’s surprised too, though probably not as much as you.

After a couple of minutes, you say, “Wow.”

“Tough love. I have my moments.” Jimin shrugs casually, like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on your head. “But also…” He picks his phone up and types something in. Your phone instantly buzzes with a notification.

“Open the link I just sent you,” he says.

“You are literally sitting across from me.”

“Just open it! I made you a playlist.”

“Aw, Jimin, that’s so cute,” you coo softly, reaching over to pinch his cheek before he swats your hand away. You unlock your phone to see what Jimin made you, because that is some friendship hall of fame stuff right there. However, when the link redirects you to your music app, your smile immediately drops.

Aaand he’s back.

You stare at the screen for a good ten seconds to try and find your bearings, flabbergasted at something that is quite honestly very on-brand for Jimin if you think about it. “You made me a playlist called Dick Appointment with an eggplant emoji and the tongue out emoji and it’s mostly just Yoongi’s songs. Even the playlist cover is from his Valentino shoot.”

“So you can get it on while Agust D plays in the background!” Jimin grins, and you could just smack it right off his face.

“Park Jimin, who raised you? You are vile.”

“Validate me,” he demands. Oh, you would smack him. You really would. “I spent hours making that playlist.”

“It’s literally just Yoongi’s songs.”

“Yeah, but I had to curate an experience. I can’t just dump every song into a playlist and call it a day. I gotta make sure they fit the vibe.”

“I literally just heard the most profound shit from you not even two minutes ago.” Then, you turn to Taehyung with an exasperated look on your face. “Why would you let him do this?”

He just waves a dismissive hand in the air, like Jimin isn’t even there. “I’m not responsible for the stupid shit he does.”

Jimin crosses his arms in front of his chest, both eyebrows raised dramatically as he gapes at you. “You both suck. From now on, you can make your own sexytime playlists.”

“Nobody even asked you to do that!” you cry.

“Yeah! Which makes me an even more considerate friend,” he says. “Ugh. Whatever. Go call Yoongi.”

“You want me to do it now?”

“Yes. Because I know you’ll wuss out when you’re alone. You can stay and put him on speakers for us to hear or you can go out into the hallway. Come on, chop chop.”

“No, I have to text him first,” you protest. “What if he’s busy?”

Jimin narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, but allows you this after a moment. “Fine.”

You take out your phone from your bag that’s lying carelessly on the floor to draft a quick message to Yoongi. 

[12:59] You: got a minute?

The three of you go back to the food, abandoning the previous topic of conversation in favor of something lighter and meaningless or else you would go crazy waiting for Yoongi’s reply. After you’re finished, you and Taehyung are in the middle of putting away all the empty containers and soda cans when your phone buzzes again. 

You go to grab it to look at the notification, hands already starting to sweat.

[13:17] Yoongi: for you? always :)

You turn back to the guys to find them already looking at you. Jimin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively while Taehyung just stares at you.

“Time to get your whore on,” Jimin says in an exaggeratedly sultry voice.

You turn to Taehyung for help. “He’s bullying me.”

“Ignore him,” your best friend tells you gently. “Go call Yoongi.”

When you take your phone out into the hallway, you make sure to go to the far end of it, near the main entrance so the two dorks can’t eavesdrop. You’ll tell them everything once you come back anyway, but you don’t want them within earshot while you’re in the middle of it.

Yoongi picks up your call on the third ring. In the background, your ear picks up on some chatter.

“Hey, princess,” he greets you. Then he holds the phone away from his ear to tell someone that he’d be back in a bit.

“Hey,” you say. “Where are you?”

“Just at a fitting. I have an ad campaign to film next week,” he answers. “Did you call just to get my whereabouts?”

“No, I… If you’re busy, we can talk later.”

“We’re still in the middle of lunch break anyway. What did you want to talk about?”

You briefly regret not taking a minute to psych yourself up before. You suck in a deep breath, which eases your nerves for just a second, long enough for you to say, “Yes.”

You’re met with brief silence from the other end of the line, which only makes your palms more clammy than they already are.

“Yes?” he echoes confusedly. “Yes what?”

“Yes,” you say again. “To…”

The silence commences once more, and lasts longer than you think you can handle. Then, you hear him stop in the middle of a breath.

“Oh.” A subsequent chuckle in response to the lightbulb that must’ve been switched on. “To that?”

“...Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

It feels like you two have invented a secret language that nobody else could understand. A single syllable, bouncing off the metaphorical walls of your conversation. Two idiots sharing the same brain cell.

“Yes?” he continues to prod, but at this point, you know he’s just teasing you.

“Yes! God, stop making me say it again. We sound so stupid.”

He graces you with a hearty laugh that makes you fight back a sheepish smile, even though there isn’t a single soul in sight to witness it. Yoongi makes you so fucking shy for some reason. Your nerves dissolve momentarily as you lean against the wall, your index finger running along a crack in the paint.

“Hmm, I wish you would’ve told me this in person,” he says, his voice soft.

“I can’t handle you in person. You’d tease me so much.”

“Because you’re adorable when you’re flustered, that’s why.” He waits a second before adding, “You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”

“You’re being overly confident, Min.”

“Maybe,” he responds easily. “But am I right, though?”

“Shut up.”

When Yoongi said he would cook for you, you almost gasped.

“You can cook?” you had asked. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation or anything, but you suppose you’d never given much thought to the hidden sides of him. 

“Y/N,” he laughed then. “I’m a great cook. I could probably make a pretty decent career out of being a chef.”

“I didn’t know that,” you told him sheepishly.

“There’s a lot of things you still need to know about me.” It sounded like a promise. Like I’m willing to show you me. Like I’m willing to take the first step if you’d be in this with me too. “Does that sound like a good idea? You, me, dinner at your place?”

“My place?”

“Yeah, so you’ll be more comfortable. I’ll come over.”

This one simple gesture shouldn’t affect you that much, but it does. You appreciate that he’s considerate even when it comes to the littlest things. You swell with gratitude for the thought he puts into this, into putting your comfort first. It made you feel a bit better about yourself, calmed your stormy sea of thoughts enough to rationally accept the fact that he genuinely cares.

Regardless, it doesn’t stop you from spending most of the day obsessively cleaning your apartment. Even - and especially - your bedroom, although you’re sure that is not where the night will end. Every surface is spotless, not a single speck of dust to be found. It’s like the goddamn Pope is coming over for a house inspection. 

You haven’t had a first date in… fuck, how long has it been now? Nine years? It’s almost been a fucking decade already? You honestly can’t tell if that’s embarrassing or not.

But you remember the last time.

College, freshman year, with Jungkook. His yellow piece of sticky note that he slipped inside your favorite book. His adorably flustered expression when he timidly stood in front of you in the campus library. The way he was trying so hard to be confident and charming throughout your first dinner together. How he ran back to you after saying goodnight.

No.

You shut your eyes and shake your head, warding off any Jungkook-related thoughts before they could send you spiraling. You can’t reminisce about your ex while waiting for someone else to show. Yoongi deserves better, and that’s what you’re trying to be.

You’re not exactly sure how nice you should dress tonight. Yoongi told you that you could be clad in sweats for all he cares. If the dinner didn’t hold any connotation other than platonic, maybe you would’ve really donned your loungewear like you were merely having Taehyung and Jimin over for pizza.

You’d completely forgotten all the things people worry about in the early stages of dating, when you want to impress the other person but don’t want them to think that you’re trying too hard. 

Calm down. It’s just Yoongi. He’s seen you ugly crying with mascara running down your face, for fuck’s sake.

In the end, you opt for a sweater and a comfortable skirt. Casual. 

Yoongi rings your doorbell about ten minutes later than when he said he’d be there, holding a bag full of groceries. The visual alone makes you bite back a giggle and subsequently fail. You believe this is what people would call husband material.

You take his coat and guide him into your home. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you say shyly, gesturing around as you lead him into the kitchen to show him where everything is. Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. If Taehyung or Jimin could see you right now, they would probably laugh. Hoseok would straight up be rolling on the floor.

You barely breathe as you watch Yoongi take in his surroundings. It’s intimidating, even though you know it’s just Yoongi. 

“I actually don’t know what I expected, but I like it. It’s very you,” he comments, smiling.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s cute,” he says, throwing you a wink as he leans against your kitchen counter.

You avert your gaze immediately. “Oh… Thanks,” you reply, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “So, uhm, what are you making? How can I help?”

“Just sit down. I got this.”

“Yoongi,” you say his name in protest. “I want to h-”

“I’m trying to romance you here. Let me do that,” Yoongi says, his smile turning lopsided as he starts emptying the contents of his grocery bags. Even though his tone is light, the gentle reminder of tonight being a date shuts you right up.

You take a seat at your dining table, though you can’t really sit still. As Yoongi starts working, you absentmindedly talk to each other about your day, about his campaign, about Seokjin’s album. At one point, you get up to creep over to his side when the smell of whatever he’s making becomes more prominent. You try to peek at the pot, curious, but he just shoos you away by bumping his hip against yours.

When you give him a small pout, you pretend not to notice the way his eyes dart to your mouth. You retract yourself from his personal space, choosing a spot on the other side of your kitchen island, staring at his back as he works.

You watch him expertly navigate your kitchen like he’s been here before. When he’s finished, he makes you sit down, not even letting you help bring the food to the table.

“What is it?” you ask once he’s settled in his seat, everything plated in front of you.

“Kimchi jjigae,” he says, a proud look on his face. “My mom’s recipe.”

It’s endearing, and it makes you smile.

For the most part, Yoongi lets you eat in peace, though there’s still a couple of flirtatious comments here and there. Every time it comes, you bite down on your bottom lip to try and snap out of that daze before you cough, as if that would help tone down the colors adorning your face. There’s no verbal response from you, and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t expect one either, because he just chuckles. You think he must notice the palpable nervousness that radiates off of you, but it’s not like you’re doing a very good job at hiding it.

You’re taking baby steps and he knows it. The fact that you even agreed to this at all is already major progress.

When you’re done eating, he clears the table while he asks you to open the expensive bottle of wine that he brought over. It does wonders for your nerves.

Three glasses in and you’re visibly more relaxed as you both sit on the couch in the living room, facing each other. There’s a small smile on your face that you can’t help, maybe it’s some of your inhibitions wearing off as a side effect of the alcohol. 

You glance around the room, and you take in the sight of Yoongi sitting here, this close to you. He feels bigger than your small world can handle.

“You know,” you start. If the wine didn’t make you more mellow, you probably wouldn’t be saying this. “There are thousands of people thirsting over you every day.”

Yoongi tilts his head, swirling the wine in his glass. “Really?”

“Don’t you look at the internet? I personally know two girls from college who are on the Yoongi Marry Me train,” you say matter-of-factly, like you aren’t borderline tipsy in front of him.

You aren’t an avid Twitter user, but every time you check the damn bird app, Yoongi is almost always trending. In every single one of his posts on social media, there is always an influx of comments asking him to marry them. Not only that, when word first got out about you collaborating with Agust D back then, people you knew - both old friends and acquaintances - practically bombarded your messages to see if it was true, and to ask if you could get them an autograph.

Yoongi stretches out his legs until they brush against yours. Your stomach flips even though it’s only your legs that are barely touching.

“The what train?”

“You seriously don’t know about the Yoongi Marry Me movement? Look it up. It’s a whole thing. People would do anything to, I don’t know, hold your hand or something.”

With an amused look on his face, he holds your gaze. “Would you?”

“What?”

“Would you do all of that just to hold my hand? Because you don’t have to, y’know.” He brings the wine glass to his lips, partially hiding his face from you, and you don’t know whether he’s doing it for your sake or his in preparation for the words he speaks next. “But I would do it to hold yours.”

You’re sure that your cheeks are burning bright, your stomach twisted in knots. It’s the wine, but it’s definitely the effect of his words too. You stare at Yoongi in surprise; no matter how many times he openly flirts with you, he’d still elicit the same reaction from you. It’ll be hard to get used to it. He just always seems to know what to say to make you blush like a schoolgirl, which you resent but you can’t deny the sparks of excitement that make your fingertips tingle.

Yoongi is smooth, and it’s even worse - or is it better? You haven’t decided yet - that you know he means every word he says. It makes you feel… wanted. It’s good to know that he’s being genuine, and to know that Yoongi isn’t the type of person who would ever pull the rug out from under you.

Yoongi is… stable.

You suppose, after everything you’ve been through, that stability is what you need. It’s good for you.

You try to swerve around the thoughts, to avoid them at all costs, but deep down you know now that they’re glaringly true.

That love is stored in two bags of groceries, so filled to the brim that some onions almost fall out. Love is stored in every flick of his wrist holding a knife, slicing the sharp blade across your cutboard. Clean cuts, yet he’s never this way when it comes to you.

Love is stored in a fond smile and adoring eyes when he sees how you cradle your expensive dishware like it’s a newborn baby before you set it carefully on the table.

Love is stored in a Yoongi-shaped silhouette, dancing over your countertops with practiced precision in every movement, filling in the cracks of your home. The love in him is reserved because you, like the moon when it crescents, still have a ways to go.

When he stands at your door an hour later with his coat in hand, you wait for him to speak first.

“Performance review?” he asks. “How did I do?”

“I�� liked it. It was nice,” you say honestly. But you still feel the wine in your system, and it makes you bold enough to tease him for a change. “But it was my first date in a while, so it’s hard to tell if that opinion is objective.”

He rolls his eyes fondly. “Do I qualify for a second date then?”

You hum in thought, making him wait on purpose. “Yeah, I guess,” you say, feigning nonchalance, which earns you a hearty laugh.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks, hopeful.

“Don’t know yet,” you answer, though you’ll probably end up going home and catching up on a kdrama. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Just in the morning. I have a shoot in the afternoon.” He shifts to lean his weight on his other leg, tipping his body closer to you. “But I can pick you up after.”

“Yeah? And where would we go?”

Yoongi shrugs in earnest. “Just drive around? Grab a bite?” he thinks out loud, tilting his head slightly to one side for emphasis. “I could take you to that popup store you mentioned.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “You would stand in line with me to buy a novelty mug?”

“Pretty sure we wouldn’t have to stand in line if I gave them a call,” he says, grinning. “One of the perks of the job, y’know.”

“Must be nice,” you laugh, then shift to lean just a tad closer to him. You look at him for a brief moment before you agree, “Yeah, okay.”

You and Yoongi stand there at the door, each of you on either side of the threshold. This would be an appropriate moment for a kiss, you think. That explosive first kiss, if this were a movie. Exhilaration courses through your veins. You feel it from your head to the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling is rendering you a mere teenager again. 

It’s exciting because it’s new. You have the entire book ahead of you, waiting to be written. At this point, anything could happen. You’re a blank canvas waiting to be drawn, a blank page hoping to be written. 

Wait.

Back up.

A kiss?

A kiss?!

With Yoongi?

You’re thinking about kissing Yoongi?!

Fuck.

Fuck?!

It’s the wine.

Your thoughts knock against each other like bumper cars, echoing loudly in your brain that it almost gives you a headache.

You stay still as Yoongi leans down, your heart racing while your brain just keyboard-smashes. You can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not, but when he only presses his lips against your cheek, you feel two emotions at once.

The first is disappointment, the second is relief. They press down on you with almost equal force, and you’re not really sure which one weighs heavier.

Baby steps.

You blink when he pulls away, and he just smiles fondly at you as if he can read your mind.

“Goodnight, princess.”

You watch him until he’s in the elevator, until the doors close and the lift descends. Even when you know that he must be on his way to his car and that someone else is making their way up, you stand there, with your hand loosely wrapped around the door handle, your breathing slightly erratic as you process what just happened. 

Déjà vu? 

It’s oddly reminiscent.

You’ve been here before.

Part of you thinks he’ll burst through the elevator doors, or rush up the stairs if the lift is occupied, and come back to grab your face and kiss you senseless.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook knows you’re probably waiting for Yoongi.

He’s seen Yoongi pick you up after work almost daily over the past couple of weeks, and it’s driving him insane. Even on the days that Yoongi comes to the studio during the day, the guy is all over you, so much so that he doesn’t even bother being a nuisance to Jungkook anymore, which just makes him a thousand times more insufferable.

Something is happening.

He can’t weasel shit out of Jimin anymore because Jimin has been especially tight-lipped after accidentally spilling Yoongi’s confession to you.

Because that should be him in Yoongi’s place. Or should he say his place, and Yoongi is just a placeholder. An imposter.

Because it used to be him that you smiled shyly at.

Jimin’s words have been plaguing his every waking hour since he was forced to hear them. If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too. It feels like he’s rewinding all of your memories, retracing them with cautious fingers only to find that his every footstep is being erased to make room for someone else.

An abandoned dirt road, while you walk down a flower-filled path holding someone else’s hand.

Like you’re stamping him out.

Like he was never there at all.

Not only are you denying him a chance, you’re giving it to someone else. When he tries to move at someone else’s pace, all he gets is left behind.

It’s not about Yoongi; or at least, it’s not just about him. Yoongi doesn’t even really matter to Jungkook in this equation. It’s about what Yoongi represents. An idea of a person that Jungkook can never be.

A bigger life. A stable present and an even brighter future. Yoongi is everything better than him.

And that’s his own problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. At the end of the day, no one has to live with his insecurities but himself.

But still, he can’t help it. Whenever he sees you with Yoongi, his eyes burn. Please don’t let him take my place, he wishes every time, you’re the only good thing about me.

It’s jealousy, sure, of course it’s there. 

But what if you realize what everyone else already knows? That Yoongi is better in every single way. That Yoongi is the person who really deserves you.

What if you start to see Jungkook the way he sees himself?

You hating him - despising him with every cell in your body - is a thousand times better than you deeming him unworthy.

“I talked to Jihyo,” he speaks up suddenly, when it’s only the two of you.

“Okay,” you answer, never taking your eyes off the page in front of you. You must have circled the words daisy a thousand times already, wracking your brain for anything that rhymes. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but good for you.”

At this point, you wonder if you should just avoid the studio for the time being. It’s empty here again. You resent Seokjin for drowning in concept photos. You resent Namjoon for leaving Jungkook here to fend for himself, but it’s only fair, because Namjoon was only supposed to give him a helping hand, not take over the whole thing. You even resent Yoongi a bit, for not being here right this second.

“I talked to her,” Jungkook says again, ignoring your sass. “She won’t give you a hard time anymore.”

This makes you look at him. You never asked him to do this. You never asked him to do anything. In fact, you have only ever implored him to sit still and leave things alone.

“She never gave me a hard time,” you say. Sure, you don’t appreciate being given the death glare first thing in the morning, but it’s not something that you can’t ignore. It doesn’t actively affect you, and the only reason Jihyo does it is because of Jungkook.

Because he broke things off with her?

Because he gives you more attention?

Ugh. Attention?

This is the stupidest and most childish thing you have had to think about in ages.

“You said she acts differently toward you.”

“And aren’t you the reason why?” you counter. “Because you two were fucking?”

Jungkook visibly winces at your words, like he did when you mentioned it the first time in the break room. You don’t mean to be snarky; you’re just stating the facts. They were hooking up. 

You don’t harbor any ill will toward any of his past lovers, and that includes Jihyo. You know she doesn’t have anything against you either, at least not on a personal level because you don’t know each other well enough to do so. She’s just someone you pass by every day on your way to the elevator.

“So why did things end?” you ask just for the sake of it, since he was the one who brought it up. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

He hesitates for a moment. “She wanted something more and it wasn’t the same for me.”

It’s stupid that the tiny voice in the back of your head resurfaces, hoping that you were the reason why he couldn’t pursue things with another woman.

Jihyo isn’t you, that much is clear. You never asked for anything more from him, not once from start to finish. He was always the first one to pour love into you. It’s arguable which one of you loved the other more - maybe you loved each other equally, just in different ways - but it was a fact that Jungkook always took the initiative. He made the first move so you wouldn’t have to. He gave you the option to match his affection, and never have to worry about being left out to dry.

He took initiative, right until the very end.

You bite your bottom lip, then give him a curt response, “Okay.”

Your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi but you don’t open it just yet. You look at Jungkook, who only looks back at you. His lips part slightly as he searches for the right words, or any word at all. It’s like you’re asking him to navigate a minefield when all he has to do is be honest. Even if he told you that he fell out of love with you, it wouldn’t be that bad. You would be hurt, yes, but you wouldn’t blame him. You would understand. It would be a reason.

Silence fills the room, save for the continuous tapping of your pen on paper.

He says your name, pleading. “I’m trying here.”

At Jimin’s party, Jungkook said you were someone important to him. You don’t doubt that he meant it, and that’s what infuriates you the most. You’re important, but he keeps running circles around you and making your head spin. You’re important, but everything he’s done makes you think that you’re the opposite. You’re important, just not important enough to get an explanation.

You know he’s genuine about everything he says, but that’s not enough. You can’t sustain yourself on just his words alone.

It’s another cycle of the same conversation, running over and over and over again. He’s reaching out but he’s holding back. You’re still getting nowhere. You don’t know how many times he has to make you ask this, only to not give you any clarity at all.

If there is a trait of Jungkook’s that you both love and hate at the same time, it is that he doesn’t know when to quit.

He texts you every day even when you don’t reply - one for good morning, and one for goodnight. He gets you a chai latte every day, which doesn’t do shit for your concentration because there’s not enough caffeine in it. He gets the door for you whenever you go into the same room together. He hounds your every waking moment. He makes sure that he’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thought that crosses your mind before you go to sleep.

I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

You suppose this is him, showing up again. In a lot of ways, it’s selfish. But it’s an effort too. Now your phone is full of meaningless messages that remain unread.

You barely glance at him. It’s routine at this point. He tries in ways that you don’t bother acknowledging anymore, because you figured that the best course of action is to let him wear himself out.  When he has had enough of it, when he deems his efforts to be enough to absolve his guilt, he’ll stop. He has to.

But at what point does it stop?

At what point will you stop wanting to give in to him? Your mind rages wars with itself every time you feel his eyes on you, and you have to kill the urge to not turn your head and look at him too. At what point will you stop wanting to go to him and let him in again? At what point will you stop unconsciously making him a priority?

All of this, you supposed, is to say: Do you still love him?

You know that if you sit down and get to the root of it, you’ll find an answer you don’t like. Even in this moment, you want him to tell you just a fraction of the truth, because that would probably be enough to reel you back in.

Your own heart claws at your chest but this is how it has to be for a while. All you can do is take it one day at a time, gently nudge your heart in one direction like a child that needs to be goaded, until he doesn’t live on the forefront of your mind anymore.

Until someone else does.

“No, you’re not.” You stand up then, closing your notebook with more force than necessary. “If you’re really trying, then I wouldn’t still be wondering why I wasn’t enough to make you stay.”

Even then, you’re still hoping that he’d say something else. But when you’re only met with silence, the anticipated disappointment in you bubbles, boiling. His reluctance to clue you in makes it easier for you to decide.

There's someone else who's willing to give you things that you don't even need to ask for.

In your mind, it's clear who you should choose.

Jungkook clenches his teeth, holding his breath as he watches you shove your things into your bag. “Are you going home?” he asks after a minute.

You could say yes and let the conversation die a swift and simple death. But for some reason, you choose to kill it violently. You bite the inside of your cheek before you tell him, “I don’t know. Yoongi’s picking me up.”

The chagrinned look that takes over his features for a split second is one that you immediately catch. Maybe it’s because he wants to make sure you know how he feels about this, or maybe you still have a way of reading him somehow. Regardless of what his face tells you, he doesn’t prod any further.

Your phone vibrates on the table, the sound ten times more thunderous amidst the silence that’s befallen the both of you. You don’t need to check the screen to know who’s calling, and neither does he. When you leave, the sound of your fading footsteps ricochets off the walls. It shoots right through him.

He hears every word of that conversation ringing in his ears then. He recalls that afternoon’s sunset; it was the most beautiful sunset he saw that year, despite the sun overhead mocking him with every magnificent glint of light. He sees the look on your face when his words finally register in your mind, the Oh moment when you understood what he was saying, when the smile you wore sunk helplessly to the floor because even though you knew that love had an expiration date, you hoped your love would be the exception. 

That memory fades, only to be replaced by something much worse. He sits there with Jimin’s words, echoing in his mind, reverberating around the room.

Technically, you and Yoongi haven’t been on a second date. You think.

You’ve seen him almost every night since the dinner, when he picks you up at the studio. Sometimes, you two just drive around. Sometimes, you sit by the river in the cold, eating hot ramen cups and giggling over nothing. Sometimes, he just takes you straight to your home if he has a packed schedule the next day.

These days, you see Yoongi even more than you see Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t explicitly implied that any of these outings is a date, you know you aren’t hanging out as just friends anymore.

It feels good to be wanted. The feeling is reinforced tenfold because it’s been so long that it’s like you’re experiencing it for the first time in a new body, as a different person.

But even after all of that, you two can still go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. Because in a way, maybe nothing did happen. Maybe things have always been like this between you, the only difference is now you’re noticing the meaning behind his words and glances.

You two can still go back, because technically, no line has been crossed.

But tonight, something feels different. It’s colder, but Yoongi keeps you warm with all the looks he’s been giving you all night.

It feels like you’re both toeing that line right now. 

You know that once you cross it, things can’t revert back to the way they were anymore.

You know that it will happen eventually, because Yoongi isn’t doing this just to half-ass it. He won’t back out, and he has made it crystal clear from the start. 

Usually, this is the part where he tells you goodnight and you have to pretend not to freak out when he kisses you on the cheek in goodbye.

He takes a step closer, you take no step back. 

“You know what I’m about to do, right?”

You do. You could say you’re even hopeful.

“I might have an idea…”

“Okay,” he says easily. He takes your waist in his hands and brings you closer. The way the corner of his mouth tugs upward tells you that he’s pleased, that you know what’s about to come and you’re letting it happen. Still, he asks, “Can I?”

You nod. That glowing sensation washes over you in waves.

“Words, princess,” he reminds you. 

Your hands land on the lapel of his coat. “Yes, you can.”

He chuckles, and squeezes you a little tighter. 

Then it happens.

The line you clumsily drew in the sand has been erased.

Yoongi is kissing you.

You’re kissing him back. 

He’s soft and warm and he holds you like you’re delicate. His sincerity, you can feel it in his kiss, and it’s only a fraction of it. Regardless, there is still life that blooms this winter. Inside of you, small and fragile, but it’s there.

You sigh into his mouth, feeling completely limbless if not for him holding your body upright. One of his arms wounds itself tighter around your middle while his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear so he could cup your cheek more easily. Yoongi tilts his head further to one side to deepen the kiss. You feel something in his kiss that you have never heard in his words, something soft and pleading. Wanting but still contained. Out of fear that you might run away, perhaps? You can’t blame him though. You are a bit of a flight risk.

The wind dances past like a nosy bystander, pressing you further into him like it wants you to be more sure in the way you move, in how much of yourself you’re willing to give to him. Instead, the cold just makes you shiver.

When you break away, his hand on your face moves to hold the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t look half as flushed as you think you do, though his cheeks are slightly rosy.

Through a thin veil of clouds, the moon still shines down on his profile. 

The chill in the air, the mesmerizing view of moonlight dancing across his features, and most of all, the way you’re still lost in the kiss, in the feeling of being wanted.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you up,” he says, after you stay silent for a beat too long, hooded eyes basking in the warmth of a heart chasing your own. You want to want him. You do want him, but there’s still something missing. It doesn’t feel entirely right, but for now, you try not to dwell on it too much. Just let it be. Maybe in time, that void will inevitably fill.

Yoongi holds your hand through the lobby and on the whole way up even if neither of you says anything, just shy glances in the elevator and bashful half-hidden smiles. You don’t invite him in once you get to your door - because an invite now insinuates something that you just aren’t ready for - but he does kiss you again. If the kiss you shared downstairs is a proper goodnight kiss, then this one means see you later and doesn’t last half as long, but it makes you tingle just the same.

He pulls back, only to dive in again, and again, and again, until one chaste kiss turns into five and you have to push him away with a giggle so you can breathe.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes still set on your mouth. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yoongi,” you say, a little breathily, like oxygen hasn’t sufficiently made its way into your lungs since downstairs.

He rests his forehead against yours. “You’ve never said my name like that before,” he sighs.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to kiss you again.”

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth and pretend to consider this even though you know you would like to be kissed again. “Maybe I do,” you say after a beat, bravely. “Just one more.”

He gives you your final kiss of the night then, one that lasts a second longer than the others, like he’s trying to memorize how you taste.

You head in once Yoongi is out of sight. You lean your body against the door the second you snap the lock shut. You touch your lips lightly, reliving those moments again even though they happened mere seconds ago. You’re buzzing with excitement like a schoolgirl, every feeling coursing through your body all at once. 

You’re familiar with this. It’s the stage right before every love song you listen to suddenly reminds you of that one person.

You go through your regular evening routine with a pep in your step, thanks to a certain person tonight. You take off your carefully applied makeup and take a nice, hot shower. You think the heat would help melt away the high that you’re riding - like you’ve had too much coffee to drink and now your senses are beyond heightened - but it doesn’t. Once you’re fresh and comfortable in your PJs, you still feel that jittery feeling seeping through your pores, keeping you awake. There’s a message from Yoongi that tells you he has made it home safely.

It’s still early, and you’re far too restless to go to bed. You decided to brew yourself a mug of chamomile tea, even though you don’t even like chamomile and you can’t remember why you even have it, but they say that apparently chamomile is good for sleep. You decide to take the mug into the living room to sort through your mini mountain of mail that should’ve been dealt with days ago.

Sitting underneath that pile of junk mail and letters addressed to the previous tenant even though you’ve lived here for nearly two years, is a cream-colored card addressed to you. The material feels smooth under your fingertips, like velvet if that’s even possible. Inside, there are two names - one you recognize and another you don’t - typed out in a fancy calligraphy font and encircled by pretty flowers, all pinks and whites and romantic.

The saccharine sensation associated with the thought of Yoongi dissipates instantly. Instead, your mind blanks, only to buzz to life again momentarily with a newfound sinking feeling dragging you down.

You suddenly realize that Jungkook hasn’t crossed your mind once tonight. Not until now. That crestfallen look in his eyes from the other night appears in your mind again, clear as day.

You are, quite literally, holding someone’s declaration of love and yet, it’s not joy that you feel, having been asked to join them on their special day. 

You never thought you would see Jungkook’s family again - even though you always adored his parents and you felt that they loved you too - let alone receive an invitation to his brother’s wedding.

remember when y'all said u wanted a wedding?? well u didn't say whose wedding 😌

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted march 27, 2023]

[j-crow]

chat. are we fucking serious. 😭😭

stalking peoples blogs is soooo entertaining

[heavyhitterheaux]

Perfect View

A Ballerina's Tale Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, jessmichelle, blancathebaddie, sza, saweetie, urbanwyatt, yungskylark, and 2,780,126 others

yournameonpointe: woke up to a bouquet of flowers and jackharlow blindfolding me and telling me he has a huge surprise for me. Next thing I know our asses are in Bali 😭

Valentine's Week is starting off right 💖

jessmichelle: Valentine's week sis??

yournameonpointe: my man celebrates me all week. truth be told he does it every day of the year lol jackharlow doesn't know how to go about just doing one day

jackharlow: just wait until later

yournameonpointe: oh 😏

kehlani: nasty asses

jessmichelle: jackharlow slide your brother my number. I need to experience this.

jackharlow: jessmichelle um idk if you wanna go that route

claybornharlow: jackharlow WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

jackharlow: claybornharlow 👀👀👀👀

blancathebaddie: not jessmichelle about to slide in clay's DMs 😭

jessmichelle: blancathebaddie I mean????? why not? 👀

blancathebaddie: jessmichelle because last time I checked you were still talking to someone

jessmichelle: blancathebaddie and suddenly I have amnesia

blancathebaddie: 😐

druski2funny: the bouquet I got waiting at home for you is bigger

lilnasx: druski2funny don't make me ask blancathebaddie for Panchito so he can bite your ass

sza: OKAY jackharlow I see you! Making sure my girl gets the best

jackharlow: sza she knows she's never going to want for nothing with me

blancathebaddie: lilnasx say the word and we'll pull up

jackharlow: druski2funny you got one more damn time

urbanwyatt: yournameonpointe you should have seen jackharlow planning out all this for you. talking about STRESSED

quiiso: I just knew he wasn't about to have any curls left because he was going to pull them out

yungskylark: had us ducking and dodging and hiding shit from yournameonpointe in all of our cars so she wouldn't find them

shloob_: jackharlow you still have gifts for yournameonpointe in my closet or did you forget?

jackharlow: shloob_ FUCK

yournameonpointe: jackharlow no worries, we'll get it later lol I appreciate the effort

druski2funny: I have gifts for you too y/n whenever you're ready

jackharlow: druski2funny and my gift is about to be me punching you in the damn throat

Liked by kehlani, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, sza, quiiso, saweetie, zendaya, and 2,947,051 others

yournameonpointe: This is literally something out of a dream jackharlow you seriously outdid yourself 😭

jackharlow: only the best for my baby 🥰

kehlani: slip me one of them roses, I got bills to pay

yournameonpointe: jackharlow stop making my heart go boom. I can't take it anymore 😭

jackharlow: yournameonpointe well we got a whole lifetime to go 🥰

yournameonpointe: kehlani bye lmaooooo

jessmichelle: that view is literally insane. ME WHEN?!

claybornharlow: jessmichelle if you call me back it might be sooner than you think

blancathebaddie: WHAT

sza: okay we making love connections under the sappiest couples instagram posts. I knew it was only a matter of time.

blancathebaddie: jessmichelle get your ass on facetime NEOW

druski2funny: the date I had planned for us was better

jessmichelle: blancathebaddie I can't

blancathebaddie: jessmichelle BECAUSE?

claybornharlow: blancathebaddie because she's talking to me

blancathebaddie: claybornharlow you mess with my girl, I will send Panchito. jackharlow let him know because I keep my word

jackharlow: blancathebaddie will you stop being so damn violent?!

blancathebaddie: jackharlow I don't know anything else

lilnasx: druski2funny yournameonpointe didn't want to go to KFC. Besides, jackharlow can probably get her meal for free.

kehlani: well damn lmaooooo

druski2funny: lilnasx how you know it was KFC?!

lilnasx: druski2funny let's be real. I was being nice and was about to say the dollar menu from McDonald's

sza: I AM SCREAMINGGGGG

jackharlow: druski2funny come on now. ultimate meal is her riding my face. yournameonpointe get over here 😏

yournameonpointe: jackharlow SAY LESS

Liked by jackharlow, sza, kehlani, jessmichelle, druski2funny, blancathebaddie, yungskylark, urbanwyatt and 1,942,063 others

yournameonpointe: my forever valentine. how lucky am I to call you my husband? 💖💖💖

jackharlow: yournameonpointe and how lucky am I to call you my wife?

kehlani: SIMP ALERT. we love to see it though. jackharlow you're doing amazing sweetie (keep it up or I won't hesitate to jump you)

jackharlow: kehlani let me guess. you're calling blancathebaddie to help you?

kehlani: jackharlow you got damn right

druski2funny: and how lucky am I for you to call me your side piece?

sza: BYE DRUSKI 😭😭😭😭😭

jessmichelle: lemme borrow that dress tho.....

jackharlow: druski2funny remember when I said you got one more damn time? wait until our plane lands

druski2funny: lilnasx I need you to hide me

lilnasx: druski2funny you wouldn't have to hide if you stopped saying out of pocket shit all the time. jackharlow GET HIS ASS!

yournameonpointe: jessmichelle where you goin?

jessmichelle: yournameonpointe on a date

blancathebaddie: jessmichelle WITH WHO

claybornharlow: blancathebaddie yournameonpointe with me of course

sza: I see another Harlow wedding in the foreseeable future

jackharlow: sza SLOW DOWN! I HAVE TO APPROVE FIRST!

sza: jackharlow approve of who?!?

jackharlow: claybornharlow of course. jessmichelle is like a sister to me so I gotta interrogate him

yournameonpointe: jackharlow baby cut it out lmaooooo

urbanwyatt: jackharlow let me in on this interrogation

jessmichelle: yall better leave claybornharlow alone 😭😭😭

quiiso: jackharlow hold on count the rest of PG in too, say the word and we'll pull up

claybornharlow: seriously?! only yournameonpointe is going to defend me?! yournameonpointe: claybornharlow I always got your back, HOWEVER, if you mess with my girl I will cut off your fingers and you won't be able to produce another got damn song for as long as live. love you. jackharlow: WELL DAMN

Liked by yournameonpointe, jessmichelle, sza, kehlani, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, blancathebaddie, and 3,862,104 others

jackharlow: How I'm spending our last night in Bali with my baby yournameonpointe I got the perfect view 😍

jessmichelle: you know for her to always complain and scream about getting her hair wet, she sure doesn't have a problem getting it wet around you

jackharlow: jessmichelle her hair isn't the only thing that's wet 😏

blancathebaddie: jackharlow GROSS. CUT IT OUT.

yournameonpointe: jackharlow thank you so much for this much needed vacay. do we have to go back so soon?

druski2funny: yournameonpointe yes you have to come back so you can spend time with your side piece

jackharlow: druski2funny find me on your doorstep when I touch down in Atlanta

kehlani: druski2funny you just asking for jackharlow to kick your ass at this point

jackharlow: yournameonpointe if my baby wants to stay longer we can, just say the word

yournameonpointe: jackharlow YESSSS

blancathebaddie: yournameonpointe WAIT A MINUTE we are overdue for a girls day!

jackharlow: blancathebaddie push it to next week

blancathebaddie: jackharlow 🙄

yournameonpointe: safe to say first Valentine's Day as a married couple was a success 😏🥰

jackharlow: yournameonpointe not quite a success just yet

yournameonpointe: jackharlow ???

jackharlow: yournameonpointe once I get you pregnant, then I will consider it a success 😏

kehlani: oh good lord smh

yournameonpointe: jackharlow well shit, I'm ready when you are

urbanwyatt: here they go

jackharlow: yournameonpointe yeah, you'll be asleep the entire plane ride back 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

jessmichelle: OH

blancathebaddie: we'll be waiting for the I'm pregnant text in a few weeks

druski2funny: that's it. I'm making national side piece day.

lilnasx: druski2funny in order for it to be successful, you would have to be an actual side piece. yournameonpointe is not thinking about that big head of yours

jackharlow: druski2funny choose your next words carefully

druski2funny: jackharlow umm miss you. see you when you get back.

jackharlow: druski2funny that's what I thought smh

jessmichelle: yournameonpointe if druski2funny was your side, what kind of side would he be?

yournameonpointe: jessmichelle coleslaw

yournameonpointe: anyway come here baby jackharlow 🥰

jackharlow: yournameonpointe 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

urbanwyatt: DAMN! LMAOOOOOO

quiiso: everybody knows she HATES coleslaw

yungskylark: lmaooooo I can't deal

lilnasx: druski2funny that's exactly what your ass gets

druski2funny: aight imma head out. take a few days to think and reflect.

jackharlow: druski2funny and meditate on how she doesn't want your ass

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[atopvisenyashill]

do u think house baratheon is gonna go extinct?

i actually think robert did one good thing for house baratheon and that was having so many bastards that his house will be probably be fine lmaooooo

i think edric storm is being set up to take over house baratheon. there’s a few kind of pointed examples of bastards inheriting when there’s no one else left - lord hornwood’s bastard and bran explicitly thinking of jon, robb putting jon into the northern line of succession, alyn and addam of hull being legitimized and addam’s grave saying “loyal”, i think even the waters twins starting their own house considering how long that’s been in the canon is relevant here - and when all four of the kinda “main” houses (lannister, stark, targaryen, baratheon) have this issue of “there’s no one left to inherit but illegitimate sons, daughters, and disabled people” it seems to me that the author is Saying Something about the ableist, classist, and misogynistic ways that inheritance often works.

for the baratheons in particular, i think their story ending where the bastard who was considered a huge sleight just for existing (never mind that it was ROBERT who did the disrespecting and not edric), is almost human sacrificed on a pyre to serve another baratheon and is only saved due to the morality of a low born man and a distant relative (the castellan who literally dies trying to protect edric. and davos), it makes narrative sense that edric would then go on to inherit the stormlord’s seat.

i also think there might have been a dropped story here wrt edric being a leader of sorts that got axed by the discarded time jump - something about the bastard baratheon son AND the young lord of starfall both being named edric, and both having something to do narratively with the ongoing theme of bastards (people compare davos’ “everything” to ned protecting jon A LOT and with good reason! it’s similar moral reasoning that a child should not pay a blood price for merely existing), it all is just very interesting to me and i THINK there would have been something a lil deeper there when edric storm got older. but that’s just speculation on my part - even if the davos bit was all we’d get from edric before it’s revealed he’s inheriting storm’s end, i would call that narratively satisfying.

[blackmoldmp3]

You had a tattoo surgically removed?

ajshda ok the story is. i accidentally stabbed myself in the mouth with a dip pen. that had ink on it. when trying to get the stupid nib out of the stupid holder. and was left with a little black dot along my lip which would be fine except i was 16 and it looked like a perma-blackhead and i was incredibly insecure about it so we talked to my doctor and he booked me in for a traumatic tattoo removal which in my mind was just a laser thing but was actually just him takin a scalpel and scooping it out of my lip lmaooooo so now i have a sick scar on my lip that gets itchy sometimes. probably should have just stuck with the black dot but we cant go back in time

[memberment]

WHAT THE FUCK‼️

Good morning everyone archive is back up I just woke up instead of getting ready to go to bed and I'm actually tweaking because I just remembered smoothies exist and I want one.

Anyways. Updates here today.

(7:54) the fact that I'm awake this early and it's because I like just woke up and am not just going to bed has me bugged. I feel like I need to take a nap to reset myself. But A Girl is at 10.2k so. We have that at least??? Will it get finished today???

I seriously hope so bc I've been literally dragging this out so long

(9:38) .... guys what if I dropped one of my current rotation ideas to make something Dovakien centric. Like based on all the tiny bits we do have from canon. Because..... I may or may not be thinking about it.

It's 11:57. I have yet to take a nap. And I'm honestly kinda sad over this rn (I am allergic to happiness and apparently it really shows when creek is involved, chat wtf is wrong with me)

(6:07) guys I took a nap and have now settled on I'm finishing A Girl and then I very well may go back to finishing Genesis BC I WANNA WORK ON REVELATIONS SO BAD. ^The above is Karma. So now I'm just thinking about Trin in general and how it hurts my soul LMAOOO

(9:46) While I'm on here procrastinating, I just wanna note that I think it's kinda funny that Revelations will have almost a 'monster of the week' format. Like I fucking adore monster of the week stuff so actually having something like that and making it my own (despite the fact that it's in a four chapter rotation so it is month and not week), is both very funny and makes me very happy.

(1:23) I'm sorry imagine rejecting someone your their and your own peace of mind only for them to come find you the next morning and throw a stack of papers on the table in front of you and claim that they reject your rejection. LIKE PLS I FUCKING LOVE THE WAY I WRITE BEBE SHES SO FUNNY

(2:40) after getting completely distracted I am in the home stretch of finishing this. Then I'm jumping back on Trin for a bit. Maybe. Idk I'm afraid to write the end LMAOOOOO

(3:27) AT 15.2K WORDS, A GIRL IS DONEEE. IT'S TINY. I DON'T CARE. IT'S KINDA CUTE. IDK IF I HATE IT. WHO KNOWS. IT'S DONE THOUGH.

YeAH IT'S Exactly one hour later and I'm back on Genesis. Can someone make the decision for me if I actually want to write Cartman into this or not.... Because part of me really wants to fucking do it. Like probably not in part one. Most likely not in part one. But I am debating on properly giving him a role.

(4:55)Guys I literally have five chapters left and now is when I decide oh hey you know what????

Maybe I should just erm... Tinker with Wendy's character a little bit. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN TINKER WITH HER CHARACTER A LITTLE BIT BRUH WHO DO I THINK I AM????

Okay wait it's 4:59 I actually already accidentally put Wendy almost exactly where I want to be so everything is fine now. I can live with this.

(6:56) and just like that I'm playing around with the New Beginnings Rewrite.....

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

5. i know you get me, so i let my walls come down

A/N: Chapter 5!!!! Guys, lemme tell you, I changed the events of this chapter soooooo much. Honestly, I’ve made a lot of changes to the chapters, I’ll probably be writing out some extra drabbles and scenes later on that didn’t end up in the main story, ngl. But for now, the story continues!!! I will say, the smut in this chapter was totally unplanned. At first, I didn’t want to cause I already have smut planned for both chapters 7 and 8, but this scene wasn’t that long and I figured you guys wouldn’t complain much, lmaooooo. Anyways, this chapter is pretty fun, I hope you enjoy it!!!

Pairing(s): Tristan x Lancelot, slight Nasiens x Percy

Summary: Lance’s friend group likes to spend the occasional weekend at Percy’s grandpa’s beach house over in west Britannia and this time around, they invite Tristan and his friends to come along.

Tags: Alcohol, smut, explicit sexual content, handjob, slight dom/sub dynamics, sir kink, shower sex

Song Inspiration: Teenage Dream By Katy Perry

Word Count: 4,398

Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own.

~*~

[Series Masterlist]

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9]

[Read on AO3]

[Author Masterlist]

~*~

"Percy!! We need to figure out room assignments, everyone else is gonna be here soon!!"

"Hey, does anyone know what we're gonna do for dinner?"

"Somebody better plan on restocking the pudding while we're here."

"Why don't you just do it yourself, Gawain?"

"Lance, do you think there's enough left in the kitchen for you to whip something up for everybody?"

Lance shakes his head, chuckling to himself as he sets his bag on the floor by the hallway leading to the bedrooms and heads towards the kitchen. He'd missed his friends and all the chaos that came with them. "Lemme take some stock in here and I'll see what I can do, Anne." He tells the bluette standing in the middle of the kitchen, hands on her hips.

"Oh, good. I hope there's enough, I really don't feel like going out in public again today." She admits.

"Rough week?" He questions.

"You have no idea." She groans. "I seriously needed this weekend away. Plus, it's been awhile since we've all gotten together here, I've missed it." She sighs.

Lance nods, walking over to the fridge and opening it up. "Definitely." He agrees. He grimaces at the near empty fridge and opens up the freezer instead, looking over the items inside thoughtfully. "Hey, can you look and see if there's any flour and baking powder in the cupboards?" He asks Anne over his shoulder.

He hears her move to look as he pulls out a package of frozen sausage and tosses it onto the counter, closing the freezer back up as well. "Full bag of flour and half a tin of baking powder. Little bit of sugar in here, too." She informs him.

"Alright, cool. I think I got something in mind." He says, pulling out his phone as he leans against the counter. Just gotta see if Tris is willing to make a pit stop.

'Hey, how far out are you guys?'

'About 10 min'

'Do you think you'd be willing to do me a favor?'

'Does that mean you'd "owe me one" afterwards?'

'Why of course'

'Alright, fine, what is it?'

'Stop by a store and grab some milk and butter, pretty please? Doesn't matter what kind or brand'

'Ugh, okay. Only cause I like you so much ;D'

'Thank youuuuuu. I'll make it up to you, promise'

'Oh, I know you will'

Lance snorts, pocketing his phone and looking up to find Anne staring at him with a smirk. "You talking to your new friend?"

He rolls his eyes playfully. "They'll all be here in about 15 minutes or so." He informs her. "Once they get here, I'll have everything I need to start on dinner."

"Great!" She exclaims. "In the meantime, we should probably make sure that the idiots out there haven't made a mess of things already." She points her thumb over her shoulder and in the direction of the living room before turning around and walking that way. Lance shrugs and follows her, having nothing better to do while he waits.

~*~

Seventeen minutes later, Lance is in the process of defrosting the sausage when he hears exclaims from the living room. "Hey, uh, Lance?" Donny calls.

Lance walks into the living room, eyebrow raised. "Yeah...? What's up?" He questions.

"What the hell are Tristan Liones and Isolde Connors doing walking up to the house!?" He exclaims, half panicked.

Anne gasps. "Isolde is here!?"

"Oh, they finally got here, then." Lance says, a smile spreading over his face as he tries not to seem too excited.

"Oh? "Oh"?? That's all!?"

Lance doesn't answer Donny, instead walking closer to the clear glass wall making up the front of the house and watching as four people come up the stone steps. He spots Isolde and Tristan at the front and two men behind them that he doesn't recognize. He doesn't pay much attention to them, his eyes going back to Tristan almost immediately. It's only been about a day and a half since they'd last seen each other, but Lance was excited to see him all the same. In the past week, they'd spent the night together three more times and gone on two dates. They texted everyday and called sometimes, too. Lance didn't think it was even possible to be so attached to someone after so little amount of time, but the proof is right there in front of him that definitely was. He's been wearing a smile all week and all he can think about half the time is when he'll see the man again.

He's found out so much about the prince of Liones since that first night. He now knows that Tristan's favorite color is yellow and his favorite baked good is cinnamon rolls. His OCD was first diagnosed when he was 9, his Bipolar Disorder was diagnosed when he was 15. He'd had one girlfriend and two boyfriends in the past, all before him and Isolde were revealed to be dating to the public at age 19. When he was a kid, he'd had a dog named Monspeet that was first given to him by his Uncle Zeldris and Aunt Gelda, and the dog passed away when he was 17. He currently only models men's clothing, but he's considered asking to try out some women's clothing as well. Not only does he wear lip gloss, but sometimes more than that. He loves everything to do with the beauty and fashion industry and hopes to one day start his very own line of makeup and beauty products. He's obsessed with space and stars, has been for as long as he can remember. He has a deep passion for learning new things, becoming fascinated whenever he finds out a new fact he'd never known before. Whenever he comes to Lance's apartment, he has a new question about the plants he's growing and the crystals Lance keeps around his living space. Lance happily answers each one.

And so, when Percy calls him up and tells him that he wants to get the gang together for the weekend at his grandpa's beach house, the question of bringing Tristan along tumbled from his mouth before he'd even realized what it was. Percy, of course, said he could, and mentioned that he could bring a few friends along with him since the house was so big. Percy's grandpa's beach house has 8 bedrooms total and with their usual group there, only 4 of the bedrooms are taken, leaving the other 4 completely vacant. Tristan immediately agreed, saying he was sure his three best friends would love to come. One of which is, of course, Isolde, and if Lance remembers correctly, the other two are Jade and Chion.

Lance never told Donny, Anne, or Gawain about him and Tristan. They only know that he invited someone who he's getting close to, which they know in translation to mean dating. He technically didn't tell Nasiens directly, either, but he's certain that Percy told him who he was inviting and the both of them already know a little bit about him and Tristan anyways since they'd caught the two men making out back at the club a week earlier. It's just now that Lance realizes there's something else he's never told them. Tristan is the first guy he's ever dated, and he's never really tried to dig too deep into his own sexuality in the past. He's been attracted to plenty of guys, he's just never acted on any of it. So, given all of that, not only is Donny freaked out by the literal celebrities walking up, he's probably also extremely confused. Anne would most likely be just as confused if she wasn't so happy about Isolde being here. Oh, well. They'll adjust.

Lance walks over to the front door, opening it up as the group of four reaches it and holding it open. Percy comes rushing into the room and stops beside Lance. "Hey, everyone! Glad you all got here okay!" He greets cheerfully.

"Oh, Percy, right? It's wonderful to see you again!" Tristan exclaims with just as much cheer. "These are my friends, Isolde, Chion, and Jade." He points to each one as he introduces them.

"Great!!" Percy shakes hands with each of the newcomers, waving the rest of Lance's friends over. "This is Anne, Donny, Gawain, and my boyfriend, Nasiens! And-" Anne barrels into Isolde with a squeal, interrupting Percy.

"Anne!? I didn't know you'd be here!!" She exclaims as the two embrace quickly before pulling back.

Percy smiles at the two before continuing. "And then there's Lance, of course!"

Lance steps back into view after closing the front door and locking it, sending a wave at the new people in the room. "Hey, guys." He says casually.

Before anyone else can answer, Tristan comes right up to him and plants a kiss on his lips. Lance immediately wraps his arms around the silverette and returns the kiss without hesitation. He hears a choked gasp and a "What!?" from his group of friends and he internally snickers. Tristan pulls away slightly, giving him an amused smirk. "I got you your stupid butter and milk." He whispers, his arm coming up to show the grocery bag he's holding in one hand.

"Well, thank you very much, your majesty. I appreciate the hard work you put in, in order to do so." He whispers back, taking the bag from him. "Now I can make dinner." He says in a normal volume this time.

Tristan gasps dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. "Am I finally getting to taste the Lancelot Antin's cooking?"

"Oh, don't get too cheeky now, maybe I'll change my mind." Lance quips.

The prince narrows his eyes at him. "You wouldn't."

Lance sighs. "You're right, I wouldn't. Only cause Anne would kill me if I made us go out for something, though." He points his thumb at the bluette.

"Damn right." Anne grumbles, arms crossing over her chest.

"Huh. Good to know." Tristan has a mischievous glint in his eye as he turns away from Lance. Lance just shakes his head, chuckling at the prince's antics.

Tristan starts introducing himself to the rest of Lance's friends and people start to mingle, so Lance takes the milk and butter into the kitchen, putting them away for now. He then finishes his process of defrosting the sausage and then sets it aside for the moment. He then gets out the flour, baking powder and sugar, setting them on the counter as he gathers up other things he'll need.

A few minutes later, he's just starting to flatten the biscuit dough he made when arms wrap around him from behind. "That's kinda hot, you showing off all your muscles like that. Definitely a view I could get used to." Tristan comments.

Lance snorts. "Is that so?" He asks, folding the dough over and then flattening it down with his palms.

"Mm-hm." The silverette nuzzles his face against the man's back and Lance feels butterflies take flight in his stomach at the simple affection. "Your friends seem really fun and this house is gorgeous. Thank you for inviting us." Tristan says sincerely.

Lance stops what he's doing for a moment to place his hands over Tristan's on his waist. "Of course. A lot of good memories have been made here, I'm glad I can add some with you to the mix." He admits.

Tristan doesn't reply, but his hands start to tremble slightly in his grasp. He's about to question why, growing concerned with the man's silence, but then Tristan just tightens his arms, hugging Lance tighter, and buries his face in his back, humming softly. Lance smiles softly and squeezes his hands before focusing back on the biscuit dough in front of him.

~*~

"Dinner's ready!!" Gawain swats a spatula against the living room doorway multiple times to get people's attention.

Lance shakes his head at her with a chuckle as he passes another full plate of food to the pinkette beside him. Isolde has insisted on helping him every opportunity she gets, including taking food from the kitchen to the dining room. Lance had an inkling that she was trying to get him to like her, which was confirmed when Tristan whispered to him to just go with it. Truth is, he has no problems with her. Tristan already explained to him that she doesn't see him in a romantic way and that they're just friends and nothing more, that Isolde is glad their arrangement is over now. And Lance believes them both, he has no reason not to. Not only does he trust Tristan's word, he trusts Anne's as well, and Isolde is a really close friend of Anne's. And so, he lets her do her thing, not like he's complaining about the help.

Lance passes the last plate to Isolde before making sure all the burners are turned off and putting all the dishes he'd used into the sink. He'd made biscuits and gravy. It was simple and about the only thing he could've made with what they had. He'll go out and do some grocery shopping tomorrow morning, making sure there's some good freezer stuff stocked up for next time they come.

"Hey, do you know where the corkscrew is?" Donny asks him as he walks in, heading straight for the wine cart. Which was completely empty save for the wine and champagne glasses on it.

"Yeah, right here." Lance says, grabbing it out of a nearby drawer. "Whatcha need it for?" He asks curiously.

The redhead starts gathering champagne glasses, sending a wide grin Lance's way. "You're boyfriend brought us the wonderful gift of alcohol!" Lance chokes at the title Donny gave Tristan. Boyfriend. Lucky for him, Donny isn't paying much attention as he tries his best to balance all ten champagne glasses. "Hey, think you could bring that in yourself?"

"Y-yeah, I got it." Lance coughs. Donny then walks through and into the dining room, leaving him alone in the kitchen.

He'd be lying if he said he hasn't considered the title at least once. He has. Just yesterday, in fact. But...is it too soon? They've known each other for 8 months, but they've only been dating for a week. One single week that's been incredible. And when he imagines giving that kind of title to Tristan, and Tristan giving that same title to him in return, it just feels right. So maybe it isn't too soon for Lance, but what if it is too soon for Tristan? He just isn't quite sure what the right move here is yet.

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and leaves the kitchen, finding that he's the last one to enter the dining room. There's a spot open for him right in between Tristan and Tristan's friend, Chion. The purple-haired man has eyes on him as soon as he enters the room, scrutinising his every move as he walks over to the empty chair. Lance just tries his best to ignore the distrust radiating from the man as he takes his seat. Tristan is currently chatting animatedly with the green-haired man on the other side of him. Lance smiles softly at seeing the two getting along so well.

"Alright! Who wants a drink?" Donny calls, drawing everyone's attention as he picks up the corkscrew that Lance had set on the table.

"Please be careful, Donny." Nasiens pleads.

"Don't worry, I got it." Donny waves him off.

"Yeah, don't worry, Nasiens. Donny learned his lesson from last time, when Anne damn-near beat the shit outta him." Lance teases the man, Gawain, Anne, Nasiens, and Percy snickering at the comment.

"Oh?" Jade raises an eyebrow in amusement and curiosity.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Donny grumbles, pushing the screw into the top of the champagne bottle and pointing the bottle in the direction of the kitchen, holding it close to the doorway. Everyone in the room winces at the loud pop as the bottle is opened. Donny then proceeds to fill everyone's glasses halfway, setting the bottle in the middle of the table and sitting back down.

"Oh! Does this mean we can do a toast?" Isolde says from her spot between Anne and Gawain.

"You should do one." Gawain suggests, elbow on the table and her head resting on her chin as she appears to admire Isolde, a look on her face that Lance hasn't seen in years. Well, that's new. Lance makes a note to keep an eye on that.

"Oh, well," Isolde looks around the table, receiving encouraging looks from everyone. "Well, I guess we should toast to new friends. I think I speak for all of my friends here when I say that we're very hopeful for the rest of the weekend. You all seem so wonderful already and this whole place is beautiful. So, thank you." She finishes speaking with a shy smile, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Cheers!" Tristan exclaims, reaching his glass out to clink against hers and then everyone else's as they all do the same.

From there, everyone begins to eat and dinner is anything but quiet. Everyone's chatting and having fun, though Chion seemed a bit uneasy the whole time. Halfway through dinner, Tristan's hand grabs his under the table and Lance intertwines their fingers together. Tristan turns and beams at him, bringing their hands up to his lips and kisses the back of Lance's. Lance then proceeds to look away and act as if the blush growing on his face isn't there as he continues eating, swearing he hears the prince snicker quietly beside him.

~*~

The next day, almost everyone sleeps in, unsurprisingly, and that includes Tristan. Something else Lance has learned about the man is that when he doesn't have anything to do the next day, he really likes to enjoy his sleep. Lance went and got groceries early on, returning with breakfast for everyone, though it ended up being more like lunch for a lot of them. And then it was collectively decided that they would all head down to the beach, as one does when staying at a beach house.

"So, you remember how you owe me one, right?" Tristan comes up to him and crouches down, his hands resting on his knee and his chin resting on his hands.

"Of course I remember. Why?" Lance asks from his place in the sand, leaning back on his hands and his legs stretched out in front of him to allow the water to run over them. His fingers tap against the sand as he stares back at the silver-haired man. 

Tristan gives him a shy smile. "I think I know what I want you to do."

He tilts his head at him. "Really? Ready to cash in already?" He jokes and Tristan giggles, nodding his head. "Well, what is it, then?"

The prince bites his lip, his body doing a small wiggle motion that Lance finds extremely cute. "Be my boyfriend?" He asks quietly.

Lance's breath hitches and he stares into his eyes, searching them for any hint of joking. All he saw was a mixture of anxiety, hope, and affection. "Is that all? Cause if that's the case, then you really don't need to use your favor to get me to say yes." He says, sitting up and reaching out to grab one of Tristan's hands in his. "I was plannin' on askin' you the same question already." He tells him.

Tristan's eyes light up. "So, is that a "yes", then?" He asks.

"Yes, your majesty, I will happily be your boyfriend." Lance grins at him, the sentence making his heart soar.

Tristan squeals slightly, jumping at him and tackling him into the sand, giving him a kiss that takes his breath away. Lance laughs against his lips and wraps his arms around the shorter man's waist, kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm. The silverette holds the blonde's face with both hands and deepens the kiss, swiping his tongue over the other man's bottom lip. Lance accepts him, delving into his mouth and sucking on his tongue, drawing a moan out of the prince.

He pulls back and looks down at Lance. "I think I need a shower. Come help me clean up?" He asks coyly.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Lance whispers. Tristan climbs off of him and stands up, Lance following suit, and Tristan grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers as he leads them back up to the beach house, leaving everyone else to their own fun.

The two of them quickly make their way to their shared bedroom for the weekend, going straight to the connected bathroom. Tristan turns on the shower and adjusts the temperature as Lance goes up behind him, planting kisses down his bare back as he reaches for the waistband of the silverette's swim trunks and pulls them down, sucking and nipping until a mark is left at the base of his spine. He stands back up as Tristan turns around, stepping out of the trunks pooled at his ankles and running his hands down Lance's sides and over his hips until he's pulling Lance's swim trunks down as well. Lance leans down and kisses the prince as Tristan starts walking backwards towards the shower, pulling the other man with him as he steps inside under the spray of water.

Tristan reaches down and grabs Lance's cock, rubbing his thumb over the tip and drawing a groan out of the blonde-haired man. Lance bends down to grab the backs of both of Tristan's thighs, pulling the man up and placing his legs around his waist in one quick motion, causing Tristan to let out a small squeak as his hands latch onto Lance's shoulders. Lance chuckles as he presses Tristan's back to the shower wall. The silverette arches into him, his body instinctively reacting to the cold tile touching his skin, and the action causes his cock to rub against Lance's. Both men moan into the kiss, pressing closer to find that same friction again.

Lance grabs his bodywash from one of the shower shelves, pulling back from the kiss. "I'm supposed to be cleaning you up, right?" He says huskily as he pours some of the soap into his hands, blindly putting the bottle back on the shelf as he keeps his eyes on Tristan.

"Yes, I do believe that was the intention of this shower." Tristan says, smirking as he runs his nails down Lance's chest lightly.

"Thought so." Lance says as he reaches down and wraps his soap covered hand around both his and Tristan's cocks, holding them in a firm grip and giving one, single tug before stopping and Tristan bucks his hips up, trying to get a continuation of the motion. Lance tsks and changes his grip on the prince, instead grabbing tight hold of his hip and pinning it in place.

Tristan gasps and bites his lip. "I love it when you take control." He comments.

Lance gives another tug, this one quicker. "You implying that I usually don't, little prince?" The pet name slips out, something he'd never called Tristan before, but it gets a very noticeable reaction from the other man.

"N-not at all, s-sir." He stutters out, his eyes wide and dark, the absolute furthest thing from innocent.

That flash of heat runs through his body again at being addressed as such and he pumps his fist as he growls out, "Say it again."

"Sir. P-please." The silverette tries to move his hips again.

"Stop squirming, little prince, and I'll give you what you want." He breathes out. Tristan whimpers, but stays still, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Good." The blonde whispers, before making good on his promise, pumping his fist and continuing the motion instead of stopping after just one pass.

Both of them groan and Lance starts moving his hips in time with his fist. Tristan lets out a whine and Lance digs his nails into the prince's hip, a warning for him not to move yet. Lance speeds up the motions of his hand a bit, groaning. "L-Lance. Sir." Tristan's voice is strained and Lance presses their foreheads together.

"Almost there, sweetheart, just wait a bit longer." He pants.

He jerks them both off quickly now, chasing both their highs but his main focus is Tristan in that moment. They both moan together as they get closer, the hot water beating down on them without much notice from either one.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Tristan chants, his back arching forward more with each curse and his body starts tensing up, like a coil getting ready to spring, and Lance is feeling much the same way.

"That's it, little prince, let me see you cum." The taller man encourages, and that was all it took for the silver-haired man to fall apart in his arms.

"Oh, Lance!" He shouts, body locking up completely as he cums hard. Lance tries his best to keep watching the beautiful sight unfolding before him, but his own orgasm takes over and his vision blurs as he cries out Tristan's name in return.

Tristan comes down from his high with another whimper, Lance with a soft groan, and both of them become still finally except for the heaving of their chests as they try to catch their breaths. "Damn." Lance says.

Tristan giggles. "I cannot wait to do some more exploring with you."

~*~

A/N: What do you think?? Did you guys like this chapter or no?? Tell me your thoughts, I wanna know!!! I actually got this chapter finished last night but afterwards, I was so tired and felt like I was about to pass out from exhaustion, so I just waited to post this chapter until after I woke up but I woke up much earlier than I planned and Imma prolly go right back to sleep after I finish posting this, ngl. BUT whenever I wake up again, I’ll be working on chapter 6 and chapter 6 will definitely, 100% be out later today, so watch out for that!!! Ily, guys, thank you for reading!!!!

~*~

Tags:

@darkelf-7​

@ivyllamauwu​​

[Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series and any other stories relating to it!!!]

[selkymaiden]

mina and ❓🧩 ???!!?! MEIN GOTT i would love to learn more heh heh 🕵️‍♂️😈

OUGH. The noise I made. 🧍‍♂️

I will put a read more because I'm so sorry Naomi, I'm so sorry I'm about to go ham.

Also, love how you used a puzzle piece. Very good you are truly the detective here!!! 🔎🔎🔎

But Mina is my Private Investigator or Detective in the DC universe. Originally she was made as a side character for Sophie to have friends outside the Rogue gallery. But my friend had her own DC oc, India 💖, so I was like okay lemme expand on Mina so she has more of her own personality and storyline than just being a side character. So I started to tailor-make her more for the Arkham series of games instead of Gotham. But again I just mash up stuff like I did with Sophie since it's so easy with comic book lore. I mean... DC does it to themselves just like Marvel lakfjwelkrj But I say that because uhhhhh wait idk if you've played the Arkham series games? I'm so sorry if you have not and seen spoilers every single day on my blog. But like the last game in the series makes it left open-ended Batman died and I'm like 'nah son' he does not die. So basically I do what I want as we all should so we can enjoy our fucking uhhhhhh little blorbos.

BUT the pun on her name is A. Query. Full name: Aemilia Wilhelmina "Mina" Query. Cuz I wanted someone for the Riddler LMAO just for the fucking canon character again. And at first, I toyed with Oh uh Echo and Query are henchpeople The Riddler has used but I didn't want a henchperson oc. But I love henchpeople ocs though! Ngl I read a lot of spicy riddler x reader where the reader is a henchperson, but I didn't want that for my oc but that's because I'm a terrible person and just want all my gorls OP. Also, Arkham Riddler is so fucking insufferable but I can't not have Mina fuck him!!!

So yeah Mina and Eddie get it on!!! You don't understand Naomi I made a stupid ass moodboard for them when it was slow at work and I had nothing better to do.

They are the tag: xo. lovefool

If you don't read all this I understand but thank you so much for asking and being interested! It's a good exercise to just get my lore out about her instead of just thinking it lmaooooo

Uhhh but she's a Private Investigator, licensed, she actually does not work or care for the GCPD and has a chip on her shoulder with them. So she likes to take cases from their departments and solve them before their people. But she's not taking on murder stuff, even though she could, no she's more into solving, which she has solved, a lot of missing persons and then cheating cases. LMAO she's like that fucking cheaters show and will bust people's asses for money. But she's very good at what she does and would probably be an asset if she did work for GCPD but she only really respects Gordon and Barbara there. Instead, she's fine with what she has, she's not ambitious but does like to stick her nose into things just to be knowing. Tying with Sophie she gets away with things someone on the 'side of the law' should not be able to do cuz she'll run to Sophie for protection. And she's not a bribe person I guess also? She's neutral in Gotham or does her best. She picks and chooses her battles.

So with her and the Riddler though for the longest time they never actually met in person. Instead, she's come upon his radio frequency before. After that, they talk and eventually flirt over the radio, phone, text, email, internet whatever, just anything but in person. She's a novelty item to Edward when Batman isn't paying attention to him basically. It's cuz she's solved his puzzles and riddles before so she's not just some little idiot running around Gotham. Still not as smart as him or even worthwhile other than to pass the time! But his attitude of him thinking himself smarter than everyone and being so degrading to her wears on her but instead of being 'ok bye' her ass actually starts a grudge. So she starts to make it a point to be better than him! And like the last straw is when he sets up his little challenges for Batman but it's a total coincidence, it interrupts a case she's been on for months and ruins everything. So her ass goes through the whole trouble of solving a series of riddles and puzzles meant for Batman. She went out of her way to find them all and solve them so she can confront the Riddler finally. Him getting pinged thinking it's Batman gets all excited but when he goes to confront it's Mina. He flips out just "Wtf wtf wtf you cheated! you didn't solve these! Why are you here??" but jokes on him she did it. ANYWAYS IM SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT SHORT STORY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING HIM LIKE SHE INTENDED SHE TAKES ONE LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WET BITCH PATHETIC ASS AND THEY GET IT ON. like tension but not the kind of tension he's used to where he just gets his face smashed in with the Dark Knight instead she uses her mouth on him *wink wonk* it's about the sexual tension babeeyyyyy !!!

also here is a moodboard just for Mina. She's the oc. wilhelmina

[thekidsarentalright]

ok ok i’ve started to process the album but honestly cant stop yelling enough to write a coherent ask so here’s a whole bunch of stuff that has me going feral:

the title track. i think fob just released one of my fave songs ever, it went to my top 5 from them so fast!!! it reminds me of how much the pandemic fucked up for everyone… “thought we had it all” fr!! but like. the strings??? the choir at the end?! SUNSHINE OF MY LIFETIME REPRISE?!?! SHUT UP FOREVER!!!!! (also my bday is the “day after christmas past” so i nearly screamed when i heard that line lmaooooo… followed immediately by “my pain isn’t cool enough”?! literally almost fell over at that point. that felt like an accidental shoutout and then getting punched directly in the gut 😭)

flu game is absolutely my second fave!!! the “youuuu” in the chorus just hits my brain a certain way i’m obsessed!! also i relate to it a little too much 😭

what a time to be alive!!!!! soul punk vibes fr <3 also that bridge goes so hard i think screaming it live would fix me 😭 WHEN I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE THIS ISNT QUITE WHAT I MEANT!!!! GOT THE QUARANTINE BLUES BAD NEWS WHAT’S LEFT!!!!!

the strings in i am my own muse?!?! patrick is just flexing at this point (as he should) <3

my synesthesia went crazy with heaven iowa… it’s this beautiful deep blue/indigo/purple situation and i want to live in it <— totally normal thing to say abt a song

so good right now gave me whiplash right after heaven iowa but it’s so fun! i went from crying to dancing so fast lmao

in general i love space and this album delivered w the references!! i caved and bought the glow in the dark stars 😳

and the living even though it’s painful and scary, especially when it’s painful and scary vibes… fob always knows what we need to hear i swear!!! ur post abt the themes on this album is so so true <3

patrick dressed as a chicken playing the piano… i love him so much it’s stupid <3 also that music video nearly killed me. couldn’t see the screen super well when they were on fallon and didn’t process that the costume was like… a muscle suit for a solid minute. my brain literally shut down lmaooo 😭

ik there’s like… lyric parallels and stuff i got rlly excited abt but am totally forgetting rn! i’m sure it’ll come back when i listen to the album again (which i’m probably gonna go do rn) but… yeah!! so glad we get to be insane abt all this on here together lol <3 peace and love in fob world ☺️

- 🧋 anon

YESSSS the title track is INSANE with how good it is and how much is in it like. i swear every lyric hits Hard, the reprise absolutely breaks my heart it is so. Perfect. so so so valid for it being in your top 5 fob songs of all time already it is genuinely That Good!!! and made for you Clearly with that birthday shoutout!!! even with the gut punch after. every lyric feels like such a gut punch i swear kfgjdhfkjs

flu game is ALSO one of my top favs, i could not rank this album yet even if it would save my life kfjsdkfj but i know for Sure flu game is in like. top 5 territory. i'm obsessed w it for the same reasons fr it is. too relatable thanks pete (haha i said the thing!)

REAL i need them to perform what a time to be alive live SO bad literally just so i can scream that bridge i think that would fix me fr fr. also just love how dancey it is while having. incredibly depressing lyrics. vibe of all time fksjdhfks

patrick is flexing w his arranging skills all over this album but Esp in i am my own muse and i hope he keeps flexing forever bc it is. so good!!!!

OUGHHH heaven iowa being purpley blue it so pretty... to me it's like... idk a very warm song, orange/yellow/golden so. the opposite of you KFJDSK but still pretty i Also wanna live in it. we are So normal for that bff <3

they are literally sick for putting so good right now right after heaven, iowa it was Such an intense tone shift fsdkjfsh i Love so good right now tho it's slowly becoming one of my favs i think

i absolutely love how jam packed this album is w space references, i was anticipating it but Still am like. fuck yeah space fkjdshkfjs i'm still debating on getting the glow in the dark stars tbh... is u getting them a sign i should too... much to think about

but yeah the albums themes are SOOOO. like. i think what the world needed to hear right now, also what i needed to hear rn, what You needed to hear like. they always know!!!! it is just so cathartic to hear that things might not be okay or better but that you can still live and be fulfilled and have love Despite Despite Despite!!!!

and lastly fr i. didn't process it was a chestplate/muscle suit at first either so was like. ready to die over patrick looking like That lmao honestly i still am he pulls off that look way too well. also pulled off the chicken costume imo <3

[cinnamokittykat]

Puppy Love Chapter 2: Strange Dreams

Also I choose to interpret Lilith's actions like how you would interpret someone in the real world taking in a sick/stray animal, just with human context added to it. So, yes, Lilith is a bit (very) dumb for taking König in like that, but how heartless could you be to leave an injured animal in the woods like that? TW: Body image issues, Lilith has a very different interpretation of her body than König does, König is a very mild pervert

Chapter Text

The sun shined through the pink curtains and across Lilith's face. Her eyes fluttered open. Waking up in her large, plush, pink and white bed was one of the many pleasures in her life. Her mattress was one of those super soft ones that you could sink into, and Lilith relished in it. She lay in bed for a minute and checked her phone.

Ding!

Lilith clicked on the text from her best friend, Monica.

"Hey girl, just got home from visiting my parents." Five attachments

"Prettyyyyyy, how was that?"

"Good, I'm just happy to see them, they won't be around forever." "We went out to dinner, which they paid for, which is always awesomeeeeeee!!!!"

"Niceeeee. We gotta go out some time together."

"Yes girlllll!" "Anyways, what's up with you?"

"Oh, not much, just preparing for reopening." "I had a really strange dream last night though."

"Ooooooo, tell me!!!"

"Well, I met this really big guy, like, 200-something centimeters type of tall. Also like, some sort of dog/wolf hybrid. He was injured so I took him in and cleaned him up, and he just kind of lived with me then? Strange shit."

"Dreams are just so weirddddd. Well, was he hot at least? Lol."

"... yes."

"Lmaooooo, anyways, when are you free? I want to just live my best basic girl life with you."

"I need to check, probably in a couple of days." "Mall and coffee sound good?"

"Omg yes!!! Alright, I've got to go make breakfast for the wife and me, talk later!!!"

Lilith smiled and got out of bed. Monica was the first person she made friends with after moving to this country. In a place where she felt alone as ever, the bubbly femme lesbian cat shined through and took her in. Since then, they would live their best girly lives together when she could be pried away from her cuddly masc. She considered Monica a blessing from the heavens, marriage material even, if she was gay.

Lilith walked down to the bathroom, still thinking about the dream. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before walking downstairs to make breakfast. She was still in her pink, lacy babydoll top and underwear as she walked toward the kitchen.

"Hallo Lilith!" König said cheerfully. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air.

"Good morning Köni-" Lilith screeched to a halt. It wasn't a dream after all. It only felt dreamlike.

Well, at least he made coffee. But Lilith was standing there in underwear. König turned around with a mug of coffee before averting his eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I kind of forgot you were here, I don't have guests in this house that often!" Lilith rushed upstairs to put on her pants.

Poor König just stood there, embarrassed. He was thankful for his hood more than ever because he knew he was blushing bright red. He hated even more that he liked what he saw. Thank Gott Lilith was upstairs because his furiously wagging tail betrayed him otherwise. He hoped she didn't notice that; he was undoubtedly done for if so.

You have got to take control of yourself! She did something that any kind person would do, and now you are being a pervert! König thought to himself. He shook the sight of her plush thighs out of his mind and sat down with his coffee, placing hers in the microwave to keep it warm.

Meanwhile, Lilith sat upstairs and thought about how her disgustingly big thighs and pudgy tummy were on display for a man she had just met to see. Good thing she wasn't looking for anything in him because she certainly wasn't getting it now. He left me because I'm like this; why should I expect someone else to be interested?

Lilith returned, now wearing a more modest pair of white sweatpants. She opened the microwave and took out her coffee, stirring cream and sugar into it before sitting across from König.

"Again, I'm really sorry about that, I rarely have guests, and when I do, it's my close friends. Also I maybe kind of thought that this whole thing was a weird dream."

"It is fine, I understand," König replied awkwardly. "You have way better coffee than the mud-wasser they had on base. Now I can drink to enjoy it, rather than just to stay awake while filing paperwork."

"Thank you for making coffee, König." Lilith smiled. "Filing paperwork, hm? Thought you were a fierce soldier." Lilith teased dryly.

"Oh, I was! But we all have paperwork to file sometimes."

"Ugh, paperwork. If you think what you had was bad, try running a business. So. much. paperwork. I mean, thank god they keep you in check, but sometimes I feel like I'm about to drown in a sea of paper!" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"Can I ask more about your bakery?" König asked in his accented voice.

"Yeah, actually my bakery is on this property a few hundred meters away. Makes the commute easy. It used to be my grandmother's, then I took over a few years ago."

"Ah. I wonder if I ever had something from it. On occasion when people left base they would bring back food to share."

"It's entirely possible, I remember ringing up some military discounts."

"What do you sell?"

"Oh, the usual, bread, cakes, cookies, various pastries. I'm so glad you can help, I think it'll increase productivity, sometimes we sell out of really popular items right before a rush and it's horrible!"

"You have done a lot for me, I would love to repay you."

Lilith hesitated and took a sip of her coffee. She thought back to the gash on König's side. What could he have done to get that? She cleared her throat.

"Uhm, König? If you don't mind me asking, how long were you in the woods?"

"Oh. A... a week? A little less? Do not worry, I did not bring fleas into your home." He chuckled.

"I just wondered, because you had such a nasty gash..."

"Ja, that came from an accident with a tree branch. I was trying to pick some apples, and I fell and the bark cut me." He looked sheepishly at her. "Those were your apples..."

"Yes, they were. I've made a cake with some of them, would you like to try a slice?"

His ears perked up, and his tail started wagging. "Ja, bitte!"

Lilith grinned and went to cut a slice of cake for the both of them.

"It's my grandmother's recipe, I'm still trying to make it as good as I remember hers being."

Lilith savored her bite, taking note of the flavor and texture before noting it down. She eagerly awaited the dog boy's reaction. König took a bite, and she heard something thumping against the wood of the chair. She looked under the table to investigate, only to discover that it was his tail hitting the chair's back.

She looked back up at him, and he averted his gaze.

"Seems like you like it, hm?"

"Yes, very much." He said, grabbing his tail and holding it in place. Lilith thought for a second.

"So, you can't really control it?"

"My tail? Sort of, but it is easier said than done. Like a uhhhhhh... never mind." His eyes went wide.

"Oh, so that's why those words are the same in German!" Lilith giggled. "Sorry, I have the same sense of humor as a 12-year-old boy."

König coughed.

"About what we were talking about earlier, I was not in a good place in those woods. I drank a bit too much, got lost, and was too depressed to do much about it. Also just wanted to run away."

Lilith's gaze softened. She very much understood the feeling of wanting to run away from your problems.

"I thought you deserved to know since I do not know how long I will be here."

"Thanks for being honest. I get it. Life really hits you in the face sometimes, y'know? I mean, I can't imagine having to let go of a good job because of things you can't control."

König felt a pang of guilt in his chest, having not been honest about the reason for his discharge. But he decided he didn't want to scare her; there was a better time for that talk.

"Oh, by the way, a friend of mine wants to go shopping soon, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of clothing, do you?"

"Nein, lost a couple of my belongings in the forest."

"Well, how about we go shopping tomorrow? I'll just check with my friend, make sure she's okay with it and all."

"Ja sounds gut. I appreciate it."

Lilith got up and started putting dishes in the dishwasher.

"Want to see the bakery in a minute? We need to set up some new furniture, it just arrived today."

"Okay, ja."

"Okay, just lemme get changed into work clothes real quick."

Lilith ran upstairs, picking out jeans and a plain black shirt. She tied her hair up just enough to not fall on her face and ran downstairs.

"I know it may not look like it, but I do have non-pink and white clothing items."

"Your clothing looks very nice, I would not want to dirty it if I were you." König replied awkwardly.

They walked down to the bakery together. Lilith opened the back door and flipped on the lights. The backdoor was the entrance to an empty, pristine kitchen. König made sure to quickly stomp his boots outside to get rid of any mud or dirt.

Lilith watched the mountain of a man bend down to get through the doorway.

"Do you think you'll be able to lift things without opening your wound? Now that I think about it..."

"Should be fine, I changed my wound dressings this morning."

"...Alright, just take it easy big guy."

König was pretty used to being the tallest person in the room. It benefited him on the battlefield; no one wanted to mess with him or Horangi. It was a double-edged sword, though. Off of the battlefield, women would cross the street when walking near him, and children would hide between their mother's legs. Other men just tended to avoid him, assuming he was as aggressive as his size would imply.

He didn't blame them; he wouldn't want to deal with an angry German Shepherd either; they are called "fur missiles" for a reason. The fact that Lilith was letting him sleep in the same house baffled him. She must be an angel sent down to save him. No one in their right mind would do the same.

Lilith walked to the front room, which was currently empty except for huge furniture boxes. Oh lord, there's so much to assemble... thank god I have help. I'll make him help move boxes closer to where they should go. I'll build the furniture on my own unless it becomes a two-person job somehow...

König watched as the woman before him surveyed the bakery, taking note of dimensions, drawing up quick floor plan sketches, erasing them, and shaking her head in dissatisfaction until she seemed to have settled on a layout.

"Ok, I think I have it! König, will you please help me move those boxes over there?"

Lilith went to lift the box from one side, only to watch in amazement as König lifted the entirety of a small table with ease. She moved to the next box and started pushing it, only to have the dog man take it from her again.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Lilith queried.

"I am gut, this is nothing to me!" König replied, sounding a little proud of himself even.

Lilith laughed to herself. Well, he was in the military; those arms didn't just come out of nowhere... She shook the memory of seeing him shirtless out of her head, remembering what had happened earlier this morning. She vividly remembered the moment she saw the dating apps on her ex-husband's phone, the texts from all those women, the pictures of them, all skinny and perfect...

König's ears swiveled, almost like he sensed the mood change in Lilith.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing, really."

"You are sad, I can tell. It smells different now."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

König decided not to pry further, even though it bothered him to know that something was wrong. Lilith started opening boxes and assembling things. A few minutes passed, and her mood cleared up.

A few hours later, they stood beside each other, looking at their handiwork. The bakery was still not ready for opening, and Lilith still had to put up some miscellaneous fall decorations, but all the furniture was set up exactly as she imagined.

"Thank you so much, König, this was a big help! Tomorrow I'm going to add some autumn touches."

"It was my pleasure to help, Lilith."

They walked back to the house together, chattering happily about all sorts of things.

"I'm going to order takeout tonight, I don't feel like cooking. Anything you want?"

"Whatever you want, I am easy."

Lilith went upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes. The large man settled on the couch and texted his best and former sniper friend, Horangi.

"hallo, what have I missed lately? :D"

A minute passes before Biz! Biz!

"Oh, not much. Things on base are normal. It's been strange without you there though, man. They're trying to keep me off the field until they find a replacement. That asshole who got you fired is still here though."

"scheisse, they still believe him? him?!?!? :("

"Yeah. I guess it was less expensive to let you go, it's harder to hire another trainer as skilled as him."

"he kept antagonizing us all outside of training!" "i watched him kick the prey operators to the ground in the hallways!"

"Me too, it is the military, but there was no purpose for that other than his twisted entertainment."

"yeah :((("

"What's life like on the outside, big guy?"

"don't call me that:(((" "its been weird, i met a girl, and she's so nice to me, and i have a place to stay now in exchange for working at her bakery!"

"Wait, you met a girl? What's she like? Is she pretty?"

"well, shes really kind, she found me in the woods and saved me from death or a really painful infection. she can cook really well, and she runs her own business. also she crotchets these adorable toys to decorate. shes smaller than me, i want to say... 160-165 cm tall? and a soft body, what is the word? chubby? and she smiles a lot."

"I'm happy for you, man. Were you together before you left base?"

"together? oh no, its not like that."

"... Idk man, seems like you like her just a bit." "Besides, it's about time you met a girl, you're 34 and on track to becoming a tough old man!"

"am not! >:(" "shes too good for me anyways."

"Got to go, let's catch up at the bar sometime dude."

"ok, see you later :)"

König put his phone down. Why does he always tease me? I can't like a woman I just met!

"I just ordered, food should arrive in 30 minutes."

Lilith came downstairs, wearing short jean shorts and a t-shirt. König once again was thankful for the mask as she bent down to grab the TV remote right in front of him. Suddenly, the room felt hot, and his pants felt tighter than usual. He panicked and grabbed a pillow, pressing his back to the cushions to keep his tail from wagging as her thighs squished on the couch right next to him. Well, maybe a bit, but it's because there aren't a lot of women on base! Get a hold of yourself!

They enjoyed a show together that evening, König aggressively clinging to that pillow on his lap.

The sun shined through the pink curtains and across Lilith's face. Her eyes fluttered open. Waking up in her large, plush, pink and white bed was one of the many pleasures in her life. Her mattress was one of those super soft ones that you could sink into, and Lilith relished in it. She lay in bed for a minute and checked her phone.

Ding!

Lilith clicked on the text from her best friend, Monica.

"Hey girl, just got home from visiting my parents." Five attachments

"Prettyyyyyy, how was that?"

"Good, I'm just happy to see them, they won't be around forever." "We went out to dinner, which they paid for, which is always awesomeeeeeee!!!!"

"Niceeeee. We gotta go out some time together."

"Yes girlllll!" "Anyways, what's up with you?"

"Oh, not much, just preparing for reopening." "I had a really strange dream last night though."

"Ooooooo, tell me!!!"

"Well, I met this really big guy, like, 200-something centimeters type of tall. Also like, some sort of dog/wolf hybrid. He was injured so I took him in and cleaned him up, and he just kind of lived with me then? Strange shit."

"Dreams are just so weirddddd. Well, was he hot at least? Lol."

"... yes."

"Lmaooooo, anyways, when are you free? I want to just live my best basic girl life with you."

"I need to check, probably in a couple of days." "Mall and coffee sound good?"

"Omg yes!!! Alright, I've got to go make breakfast for the wife and me, talk later!!!"

Lilith smiled and got out of bed. Monica was the first person she made friends with after moving to this country. In a place where she felt alone as ever, the bubbly femme lesbian cat shined through and took her in. Since then, they would live their best girly lives together when she could be pried away from her cuddly masc. She considered Monica a blessing from the heavens, marriage material even, if she was gay.

Lilith walked down to the bathroom, still thinking about the dream. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before walking downstairs to make breakfast. She was still in her pink, lacy babydoll top and underwear as she walked toward the kitchen.

"Hallo Lilith!" König said cheerfully. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air.

"Good morning Köni-" Lilith screeched to a halt. It wasn't a dream after all. It only felt dreamlike.

Well, at least he made coffee. But Lilith was standing there in underwear. König turned around with a mug of coffee before averting his eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I kind of forgot you were here, I don't have guests in this house that often!" Lilith rushed upstairs to put on her pants.

Poor König just stood there, embarrassed. He was thankful for his hood more than ever because he knew he was blushing bright red. He hated even more that he liked what he saw. Thank Gott Lilith was upstairs because his furiously wagging tail betrayed him otherwise. He hoped she didn't notice that; he was undoubtedly done for if so.

You have got to take control of yourself! She did something that any kind person would do, and now you are being a pervert! König thought to himself. He shook the sight of her plush thighs out of his mind and sat down with his coffee, placing hers in the microwave to keep it warm.

Meanwhile, Lilith sat upstairs and thought about how her disgustingly big thighs and pudgy tummy were on display for a man she had just met to see. Good thing she wasn't looking for anything in him because she certainly wasn't getting it now. He left me because I'm like this; why should I expect someone else to be interested?

Lilith returned, now wearing a more modest pair of white sweatpants. She opened the microwave and took out her coffee, stirring cream and sugar into it before sitting across from König.

"Again, I'm really sorry about that, I rarely have guests, and when I do, it's my close friends. Also I maybe kind of thought that this whole thing was a weird dream."

"It is fine, I understand," König replied awkwardly. "You have way better coffee than the mud-wasser they had on base. Now I can drink to enjoy it, rather than just to stay awake while filing paperwork."

"Thank you for making coffee, König." Lilith smiled. "Filing paperwork, hm? Thought you were a fierce soldier." Lilith teased dryly.

"Oh, I was! But we all have paperwork to file sometimes."

"Ugh, paperwork. If you think what you had was bad, try running a business. So. much. paperwork. I mean, thank god they keep you in check, but sometimes I feel like I'm about to drown in a sea of paper!" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"Can I ask more about your bakery?" König asked in his accented voice.

"Yeah, actually my bakery is on this property a few hundred meters away. Makes the commute easy. It used to be my grandmother's, then I took over a few years ago."

"Ah. I wonder if I ever had something from it. On occasion when people left base they would bring back food to share."

"It's entirely possible, I remember ringing up some military discounts."

"What do you sell?"

"Oh, the usual, bread, cakes, cookies, various pastries. I'm so glad you can help, I think it'll increase productivity, sometimes we sell out of really popular items right before a rush and it's horrible!"

"You have done a lot for me, I would love to repay you."

Lilith hesitated and took a sip of her coffee. She thought back to the gash on König's side. What could he have done to get that? She cleared her throat.

"Uhm, König? If you don't mind me asking, how long were you in the woods?"

"Oh. A... a week? A little less? Do not worry, I did not bring fleas into your home." He chuckled.

"I just wondered, because you had such a nasty gash..."

"Ja, that came from an accident with a tree branch. I was trying to pick some apples, and I fell and the bark cut me." He looked sheepishly at her. "Those were your apples..."

"Yes, they were. I've made a cake with some of them, would you like to try a slice?"

His ears perked up, and his tail started wagging. "Ja, bitte!"

Lilith grinned and went to cut a slice of cake for the both of them.

"It's my grandmother's recipe, I'm still trying to make it as good as I remember hers being."

Lilith savored her bite, taking note of the flavor and texture before noting it down. She eagerly awaited the dog boy's reaction. König took a bite, and she heard something thumping against the wood of the chair. She looked under the table to investigate, only to discover that it was his tail hitting the chair's back.

She looked back up at him, and he averted his gaze.

"Seems like you like it, hm?"

"Yes, very much." He said, grabbing his tail and holding it in place. Lilith thought for a second.

"So, you can't really control it?"

"My tail? Sort of, but it is easier said than done. Like a uhhhhhh... never mind." His eyes went wide.

"Oh, so that's why those words are the same in German!" Lilith giggled. "Sorry, I have the same sense of humor as a 12-year-old boy."

König coughed.

"About what we were talking about earlier, I was not in a good place in those woods. I drank a bit too much, got lost, and was too depressed to do much about it. Also just wanted to run away."

Lilith's gaze softened. She very much understood the feeling of wanting to run away from your problems.

"I thought you deserved to know since I do not know how long I will be here."

"Thanks for being honest. I get it. Life really hits you in the face sometimes, y'know? I mean, I can't imagine having to let go of a good job because of things you can't control."

König felt a pang of guilt in his chest, having not been honest about the reason for his discharge. But he decided he didn't want to scare her; there was a better time for that talk.

"Oh, by the way, a friend of mine wants to go shopping soon, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of clothing, do you?"

"Nein, lost a couple of my belongings in the forest."

"Well, how about we go shopping tomorrow? I'll just check with my friend, make sure she's okay with it and all."

"Ja sounds gut. I appreciate it."

Lilith got up and started putting dishes in the dishwasher.

"Want to see the bakery in a minute? We need to set up some new furniture, it just arrived today."

"Okay, ja."

"Okay, just lemme get changed into work clothes real quick."

Lilith ran upstairs, picking out jeans and a plain black shirt. She tied her hair up just enough to not fall on her face and ran downstairs.

"I know it may not look like it, but I do have non-pink and white clothing items."

"Your clothing looks very nice, I would not want to dirty it if I were you." König replied awkwardly.

They walked down to the bakery together. Lilith opened the back door and flipped on the lights. The backdoor was the entrance to an empty, pristine kitchen. König made sure to quickly stomp his boots outside to get rid of any mud or dirt.

Lilith watched the mountain of a man bend down to get through the doorway.

"Do you think you'll be able to lift things without opening your wound? Now that I think about it..."

"Should be fine, I changed my wound dressings this morning."

"...Alright, just take it easy big guy."

König was pretty used to being the tallest person in the room. It benefited him on the battlefield; no one wanted to mess with him or Horangi. It was a double-edged sword, though. Off of the battlefield, women would cross the street when walking near him, and children would hide between their mother's legs. Other men just tended to avoid him, assuming he was as aggressive as his size would imply.

He didn't blame them; he wouldn't want to deal with an angry German Shepherd either; they are called "fur missiles" for a reason. The fact that Lilith was letting him sleep in the same house baffled him. She must be an angel sent down to save him. No one in their right mind would do the same.

Lilith walked to the front room, which was currently empty except for huge furniture boxes. Oh lord, there's so much to assemble... thank god I have help. I'll make him help move boxes closer to where they should go. I'll build the furniture on my own unless it becomes a two-person job somehow...

König watched as the woman before him surveyed the bakery, taking note of dimensions, drawing up quick floor plan sketches, erasing them, and shaking her head in dissatisfaction until she seemed to have settled on a layout.

"Ok, I think I have it! König, will you please help me move those boxes over there?"

Lilith went to lift the box from one side, only to watch in amazement as König lifted the entirety of a small table with ease. She moved to the next box and started pushing it, only to have the dog man take it from her again.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Lilith queried.

"I am gut, this is nothing to me!" König replied, sounding a little proud of himself even.

Lilith laughed to herself. Well, he was in the military; those arms didn't just come out of nowhere... She shook the memory of seeing him shirtless out of her head, remembering what had happened earlier this morning. She vividly remembered the moment she saw the dating apps on her ex-husband's phone, the texts from all those women, the pictures of them, all skinny and perfect...

König's ears swiveled, almost like he sensed the mood change in Lilith.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing, really."

"You are sad, I can tell. It smells different now."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

König decided not to pry further, even though it bothered him to know that something was wrong. Lilith started opening boxes and assembling things. A few minutes passed, and her mood cleared up.

A few hours later, they stood beside each other, looking at their handiwork. The bakery was still not ready for opening, and Lilith still had to put up some miscellaneous fall decorations, but all the furniture was set up exactly as she imagined.

"Thank you so much, König, this was a big help! Tomorrow I'm going to add some autumn touches."

"It was my pleasure to help, Lilith."

They walked back to the house together, chattering happily about all sorts of things.

"I'm going to order takeout tonight, I don't feel like cooking. Anything you want?"

"Whatever you want, I am easy."

Lilith went upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes. The large man settled on the couch and texted his best and former sniper friend, Horangi.

"hallo, what have I missed lately? :D"

A minute passes before Biz! Biz!

"Oh, not much. Things on base are normal. It's been strange without you there though, man. They're trying to keep me off the field until they find a replacement. That asshole who got you fired is still here though."

"scheisse, they still believe him? him?!?!? :("

"Yeah. I guess it was less expensive to let you go, it's harder to hire another trainer as skilled as him."

"he kept antagonizing us all outside of training!" "i watched him kick the prey operators to the ground in the hallways!"

"Me too, it is the military, but there was no purpose for that other than his twisted entertainment."

"yeah :((("

"What's life like on the outside, big guy?"

"don't call me that:(((" "its been weird, i met a girl, and she's so nice to me, and i have a place to stay now in exchange for working at her bakery!"

"Wait, you met a girl? What's she like? Is she pretty?"

"well, shes really kind, she found me in the woods and saved me from death or a really painful infection. she can cook really well, and she runs her own business. also she crotchets these adorable toys to decorate. shes smaller than me, i want to say... 160-165 cm tall? and a soft body, what is the word? chubby? and she smiles a lot."

"I'm happy for you, man. Were you together before you left base?"

"together? oh no, its not like that."

"... Idk man, seems like you like her just a bit." "Besides, it's about time you met a girl, you're 34 and on track to becoming a tough old man!"

"am not! >:(" "shes too good for me anyways."

"Got to go, let's catch up at the bar sometime dude."

"ok, see you later :)"

König put his phone down. Why does he always tease me? I can't like a woman I just met!

"I just ordered, food should arrive in 30 minutes."

Lilith came downstairs, wearing short jean shorts and a t-shirt. König once again was thankful for the mask as she bent down to grab the TV remote right in front of him. Suddenly, the room felt hot, and his pants felt tighter than usual. He panicked and grabbed a pillow, pressing his back to the cushions to keep his tail from wagging as her thighs squished on the couch right next to him. Get a hold of yourself! He thought.

They enjoyed a show together that evening, König aggressively clinging to that pillow on his lap.

[sasubaeuchithot]

do you think Sasuke would explore his sexuality if he left the village for a longer time and wouldn't have the chance to get together with Naruto? as in if Naruto went the heterosexual way and married Hinata because that's what a future hokage should do or whatever the reason and Sasuke would be left alone with his feelings.

i picture Sasuke as someone on the aroace spectrum, and i don't think he would be able to connect with anyone on the same emotional level as he does with Naruto. Still, i would think he'd get curious once or twice and try something out with someone, but would soon realize that it isn't something he wants unless it's Naruto.

Naruto on the other hand would probably try out a lot of things with other people, but i hate when the fandom makes either of them these super horny fuck machines that want to get with everything that moves.

i agree with you on Sasuke being aroace. ive always felt that he was very demisexual/demiromantic. unless he found someone else whom he connected with on near soulmate level, I can't see him being too interested.

perhaps he would experiment once with a hookup, but I think he would absolutely hate it and he would be even more ace than he was before lmaooooo

i think Naruto could definitely get around, but he would fall in love with everyone far too quickly. he would not be able to keep a single hook up as casual lol

[m1ckeyb3rry]

WAIT HAHAHAHAH MATCHING SHIRT WITH SHE BELIEVED I almost completely forgot about that iconic classic

YAYYYY CONGRATS!!!! Honestly such a mood I’m sick of grass LMAO but omg oaeu/pursuit time??? Lowk kinda curious on who youre gonna write next for the oaeu…LMAO wait imagine you write each one little by little and you cycle through their docs writing a paragraph or two then you close the doc and move on because your not feeling it and at some point you’ve gradually written all the remaining ones as a result of short spurts of inspo LMFAOOOO not manifesting that for you because that sounds annoying but it would be kinda funny ngl

OHHHH true true I hadn’t considered that LOL ig the only way around that would be doing sth like Barou oaeu where you swap POVs? But anyways a thought to be considered once you get through your current todo list LMAOA

NO FR 8bit you did otoya justice PLEASEEEE NO WAX KARASU ADDITIONAL TIME PLEASSEEEEE ok but there’s no way we aren’t getting that scene at some point it’s just a matter of WHEN (better be soon….tick tock 8bit hurry up….)

And ikr I remember reading the comment Nomura left like salmon pink is so specific what was the reason LMAO but anyways….im still half baffled at the Kaiser wc (only have because well, after all our convos im sure yk why LMAOO) if an opp get 18k words how many does a fave get /hj

Frrr I’ve seen Free! And Tsurune too (both sports but a lot more lowk than bllk LMAO) from kyoani and the visuals are stunning like this is the magnum opus of animation ugh the quality is too good

LMAOOOOO I WAS TLING THEM LIKE oh Mira’s gonna have a field day with this one but IM CRYINGGG “yooo i’m your biggest fan i loved your work with reunifying japan” HAS ME ROFL this should be a spinoff series once hollyhock is completed this is too funny

NO BC IM SURPRISED HE DOESNT GET BULLIED MORE??? Like I wanna know what kind of gene pattern allows this sort of hair to naturally grow like what even AHAH aegislash arc mention!!! I can so imagine them doing the randomest shit while nagi and y/n are like yo wtf kinda acting scheme did we get sucked into

I swear it’s because of 8bits magic if we got extra anime exclusive juicy scenes of Karasu people would be all over him…cmon 8bit…COME ON!!! The fact that I still see edits where I get clickbaited by Karasu from ep 1s additional time only for it to be a Rin edit….wait did you see any of the preview pics for the ep though YUKI LOOKING MAJESTIC so excited to see him shine!!! I wonder what we’ll get for the additional time this ep omg maybe more yuki nagi crumbs

LMFAOOO this is your moment your dad gets a side hustle as a lawyer AND finds you a bodyguard and you get your fantasy au of falling in love with your guard except it’s not fantasy it’s irl

CRYING the way I just passed by a meme referencing that (where doofenshmirtz is literally a question mark and then turns into an exclamation point im sure you’ve seen this somewhere probably also I probably spelled that wrong but wtv) fwtkac is just THE fic truly changing lives for Karasu nation also THE BEGINNING OF ONE SIDED KARASU YUKI BEEF truly too iconic

- Karasu anon

BEST COUPLES COSTUME EVER on a more serious note i think the couple costume i want to do the most is padme and anakin from star wars because i think i would slay and i also love star wars and anakin is super hot…now hear me out here i think yukimiya could absolutely EAT UP an anakin (from revenge of the sith specifically) costume LDKSFJHS okay so we have the tabimira costume and the yukimira (notice how we have the perfect best ship name ever #canon) costume…idk what nagi would dress up i feel like he would just wear a white hoodie and say he’s a ghost or something 😭

I’M SICK OF GRASS TOO TBH but ngl that’s literally what i’ve been doing atp…adding a few sentences to each wip before moving on to another one…you know it’s bad when even aikulations can’t save me from the writer’s block i’m going through 😓 but i’m also lowkey sick atm (not with anything physical but my mom and i have both been really lethargic and having migraines so it’s probably some weird virus) so i think that might be impacting my productivity too!! hopefully once i’m through it i’ll be back and better than ever…i’ve been working on the karasu version of the oaeu but considering i was working on the nagi version like three days earlier it’s really a toss up if i’ll finish and post that or if i’ll end up doing something else

i could def oaeu it hmm….anyways yes agreed i have way too much to get through atm HAHAHA i will consider it when i’m finally freed from the shackles of touching grass illness and requests

okay because honestly they could do a hair down karasu + hair down shidou additional time of them in their dorms and make a very large portion of the bllk fan base happy LMAOOO seriously though there’s no way blue lock will end and we won’t have a SINGLE scene of him with his hair down?? maybe we’ll get an additional time of those little “day before the u20 match” snippets from the egoist bible…in karasu’s he mentions that he was in the bath with hiori so maybe we’ll get him shirtless AND with wet hair omg my life would be fr complete if so

LMAOO SALMON PINK IS INSANE WORK it was definitely to differentiate it from chigiri (bright pink) kurona (peach pink) and sae (red bean pink) genuinely why are there so many pink/red haired characters in the show 😭 it’s such a random color meanwhile barou is the ONLY character with red eyes i’m pretty sure (since they got rid of kiyora’s cool emo color scheme from s1 😒) i actually love barou’s color scheme and how his eyes are so bright compared to his black hair i feel like it sets him apart from the monochromatic vibe everyone else has going on as well as the typical black hair/blue eyes combo that’s so popular

HELP I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE KAISER ONE GOT SO LONG tbh i think it’s a world building thing…that’s why whenever people are like “you don’t write as much for characters you don’t like” i feel like i need to clarify that how much i write is ENTIRELY dependent on the plot 🙂‍↕️ some plots require more words to develop and build and have maximum impact yk?? like karasu bfb would not have had nearly the emotion and punch it did if i shortened it because half of the appeal of the story is seeing karasu and the reader grow up and how their feelings and relationship shift over the years meanwhile the otoya version would’ve felt super dragged out and annoying if it was that long because it would’ve just been otoya cheating and reader not really caring because she’s TOTALLY not into him or anything SLKDFHJDS so like the kaiser req because it was fantasy needed the necessary buildup to the ending hence the longer word count (plus in order to make it believable that an angel would care about a human i had to show their interactions and reader’s character and shit) meanwhile a request that’s a little more specific and especially in an established relationship setting doesn’t require as much background context or anything so it’s like i can just write the scene a person wants and then be done with it LMAOOOO i do think all of the 1k event reqs are going to be really long though because they’re just tropes?? so i have to lay the groundwork of the verse and the plot and stuff to make the tropes feel believable

KYOANI QUALITY IS AMAZING and i feel like their work never has huge fan bases??? like the violet evergarden fandom is nonexistent ig because it doesn’t really lend itself well to a fandom but still i feel like it’s one of those things where everyone recognizes the quality of the work but people by and large don’t go around saying that they’re FANS of the work (not me though i’ll always say ve is my fav anime it has its sus moments ofc [that one ep with the princess was a little strange given the age gap plus gilbert being the romantic lead in the movie is kinda eh to me i don’t really like it i prefer thinking of him as a father figure] but what it does well it does SO WELL plus everyone is drawn super realistically and age appropriately?? if that makes sense like there’s no nonsense with “500 year old” elementary schools…also the exploration of grief and emotions is AMAZINGG you’ll never catch me hating)

RIN ISEKAI SPIN-OFF OF HOLLYHOCK WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY i think it would be hilarious too because technically he’s otoya’s employer?? since he’s in yukimiya’s body…so his biggest opp (his celebrity crush’s boyfriend) actually just works for him imagine he sends otoya on random missions so that he can get closer to reader without otoya’s interference KSDHJFSLK or wait it would be even funnier if the bllk guys exist in his time line as well so he thinks everyone else got isekai’d too so he’s like trying to talk to karasu about “going back home” and gardener karasu is like fuck you my dad died this is my home now?? because he thinks “yukimiya” is being classist so we get the onesided karasu yuki beef again

AEGISLASH ARC MENTIONED WE ALL CLAPPED okay so if in the actual verse nagi and reader are gone for about a week just imagine it’s like karasu tullia and otoya freaking out for a day before completing random side quests where they “happen” to run into reo and chigiri LMAOO so it’s like nagi and reader trying to avoid death and going through this weird quest so they’re not killed by a psychotic ghost type meanwhile otoya’s trying to teach chigiri and karasu how to rizz up girls (and failing) and reo + tullia are “not on a date” but they keep doing date-like activities like going to dinner and shopping together and stuff (reo has a lot of extra money with nagi gone)

YUKI LOOKED SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD THIS EPISODE reminds me why i started the manga for him…been a day one yukimiya stan fr and i’m PROUD i’m surprised i haven’t seen more fans of him maybe this episode will change that though?? i feel like he had as much majestic screen time as otoya in ep1 but for some reason everyone jumped to the otoya train and there’s not enough people left to be yuki/karasu fans but oh well more for me ig /hj i was really hoping that we’d get a yukimiya + nagi additional time instead of another nagireo one and 8bit DELIVERED please they were so cute (had to throw rin in there fsr ig but whatever yuki and nagi balance it out) i love them both and okay maybe the animation itself wasn’t FIRE but they drew yukimiya’s one v one emperor sequence so well i was blushing and giggling and kicking my feet and shit i feel like i truly won (missed seeing karasu on screen though fr)

HELP it’s perfect we’ve planned it all out…tbh only tangentially related but i think knight but specifically in a guard way is such a romantic trope and i remember we were talking about it before and how like karasu and rin wouldn’t really fit but they’re the closest besides barou and i cannot believe yukimiya didn’t jump to mind…COME ON THAT MAN IS SO DEVOTED BUT ALSO THE RELIGIOUS ASPECT COULD VERY EASILY BE SHIFTED TO FEEL IN CHARACTER AS TO WHY HE REFUSES TO GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION EVEN THOUGH HE WANTS TO???? the angst potential there is. absolutely insane. plus one v one emperor is such a knightly name idk if that makes sense but like it sounds like so regal and shit omg me omw to change that one megumi fic to a yukimiya fic ASAP af (/hj but also am i really)

FWTKAC THE FIC THAT BEGAN IT ALL i would never have been a karasu writer without it because i literally couldn’t think of any ideas for him before you made that req so you really did bless karasu nation and posterity with that (plus it’s what got us to start talking so like double win ^^)

[troofless]

Short Story Notes:

haha they use the same word 系譜 genealogy as the title

yooo additional lore on aer -> warps your entire body just like entelexeia and patty’s crew

ok ig it makes more sense now that i think about it. the entelexeia absorb too much aer -> transformed by aer into adephagos -> need to consume more aer to survive? -> consumes everything -> everything dies

not the narrator referring to the entelexeia as hikkikomoris…

dope! kritya lore. they are the result of lots of contact w aer. patty nageeg where…

ok i see now so this directly connects to how alexei’s experiments (probably to do w excess aer + aer krene experimentation haha) leads to patty’s crew turning inta monstahs

speaker is 語るもの, zestiria’s storyteller is 語り部

wow i can’t believe xillia stole the plot from vesperia you guys. i can imagine the entelexeia leader talking to the children of full moon leader and be like ‘you have noble intentions. but there is one thing you cannot control’ ‘what’ ‘lifespan’

NOOO IM CRYING THEY DESTROYED EVERYWHWERE BUT ZAPHIAS BC ZAPHIAS HELPED SEAL AWAY THE ADEPHAGOS LMAOOOOO

damn cant believe the rebel children of the full moon were imprisoned just to get beaten up once yuri and co released them from the seal

hm so i guess elucifer is the great one here? probably? and duke is the second bestie 

author” i wont go into spoilers so GO PLAY THE GAME

damn now that i think about it rita really was a freaking genius huh

haha omg duke mention ahahaha (also yuri and co mention but who cares amirite)

wait omg… ok so it all makes sense now. in vesperia’s first movie cutscene. flynn goes oh no. what happened to the barrier in this town. the entelexeia fucking destroyed it so the monsters could invade. its not because the blastia stopped working. holds head in hand

bro did he meet duke. he met duke didn’t he. lol

the writer here: 心ある者の上に安寧あれ。

duke (probably quoting elucifer): 世界を守る事…… いきとしいける者、心ある者の安寧……

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

nvm its estelle i think… the funnier option of duke agreeing to an interview in shambles

oya now that it’s confirmed elucifer has a human form ig it’s confirmed duke is a monster fucker now /j

duuuuuude they should totally do an introspection in how the records of entelexeia were lost over the years until nothing was left that was passed on but the folktale of brave vesperia and child of the full moon. so vesperia is the part of zaude in the sky(?) and child of full moon is the part of zaude in the ocean

and with this we can speculate about dein nomos: it’s a sword blastia(? probably not? see fake dein nomos) that allows you to control the flow of aer and was probably an important weapon during the first human-ente war or is used as an important key for zaude activation and passed down imperial lines but over the years warped into a ‘you need it to succeed the throne’ saying 

[crinkled-emotions]

fUCK THIS man I need an URPY BOYE IN MY LIFE idc if it’s Roo or Bob or Rhett??

If I don’t scream about this rn it’ll occupy what’s left of my brain as I’m taking the exam that will determine if I become a licensed practitioner of vet med in a month, and we can’t have that

~Pooty (is not alright)

Okay okay SO instead of writing a fic about this I just wanna talk about it like we're two gossipy old ladies talking about headcanons on our front porch lmaooooo.

Dr Pooty, it's all gonna be okay! You've got this!

(tumblr quit eating my read more, I will cry)

Now obviously, Rooster is the first character I thought of (it's my soft spot bias, leave me alone). Dude could get nauseous from breathing, I feel. That was mostly a joke, but- y'know. Take with a grain of salt folks.

Urpy Roos always starts with eating something that doesn't particularly agree with him (think dairy; lactose intolerant! Rooster is a fave around here) and his stubbornness (more at 6). He doesn't forget that it doesn't agree with him so much as he chooses to ignore that it doesn't agree with him.

Which is how we ended up... here. An urpy, nauseous guy who should be looking for antacids but is generally pulling on his flight suit and getting ready for a hop even when everyone's telling him it might be a bad idea.

And listen, unlike Hangman who projectiled in his jet during TOPGUN, Rooster has never actually thrown up during a flight. He definitely feels the G's a little more when he's nauseous but nothing actually happens and yes, this does indeed drive the rest of the team crazy.

He generally makes it the whole way through whatever training they're doing, spurpy and all, then gets home and regrets every decision he's ever made and his SO thinks he's a bit of a dumbass but also- he should probably get checked for allergies/intolerances.

I hope that's what you were looking for Pooty!! Good luck with your exams, I am cheering for you all the way over here! Me and the Daggers know you're gonna do great!

[drabbles-mc]

Grossly, disgustingly behind schedule reading this. But! We made it!! Time to dive in!! 👀

Okay but color me obsessed with the fact that they have his order memorized. I love that. We love a man of consistency. 

There is just something soooooooooo!!!!! About Carrillo being put in situations with huggy people. It's good for him! It's good for ME!!

“I see you’ve managed not to get yourself blown up again since the last time I saw you,” she noted with a teeth baring smile. -> okay no but I love her

“I guess I should probably leave you to it, then." -> The man really has the most terminal case of Dumb Boy Brain. You don't just LEAVE, Horacio!!

"What reason would he have to contact her now that he was mostly healed?" -> GOD!!!! How can a man that's so smart also be so stupid 😂😂😂 I'm face-palming to the extreme

Oh my goddddd the man is too nervous to call her but now he's off to meet her FAMILY???? I'm screaming. I'm kicking my feet. I'm in love. 

Lmaooooo catch me CACKLING at Laz just 👀😏 at the two of them. Obsessed. He and I can sit back together and eat popcorn while we watch it all unfold. 

He nodded his head side to side in a playful manner that reflected “neither here nor there” but only hummed in his verbal response. -> Whyyyy is this the most endearing shit I have ever pictured in my little pea-brain???? I'm in love 🥰

God. The fact that Horacio was weary when he was this young. Oh, buddy. You're in for quite the ride I'm afraid 🥲

“There’s only two directions you can go. You take the one that feels right and pray to God you’re fast enough to turn back around if you’re wrong as shit.” -> She's so real for this. I love her. I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand more times. 

There was silence over the line. Neither of them knew where to go next. How to even hold a conversation with someone you were used to having thousands of conversations with for over a decade. He didn’t know what she wanted from this conversation, considering she called, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted from their call either. -> My heart is BREAKINGGG why do you do this to me???? 😭😭😭

They never should've fallen this far apart. -> IM SOBBING!!! MA'AM YOU NEED TO LET ME BREATHE!!!

This whole phonecall is laying me out. I'm a mess. I'm inconsolable 

Omg. Laz. God. The rage this man must feel. We LOVE miscommunication in this house lmao

The man always walked around like he had a stick up his ass. -> LMAO so true. Laz, mi amor, you've never told a lie 😂

Peña rolled his eyes, “She’s not Satan, Trujillo, you can say her name.”  -> the way this is sending me 😂😂 I just KNOW that Trujillo is always on Carrillo’s side after a breakup. He will NOT name-drop on his boy like that

I'm SHOVELING popcorn into my mouth reading this spat between Carrillo and Laz omg

"You know if it involves her it will always involve me." -> YES, HORACIO 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

GODDDDD every chapter you prepare me for angst and yet every chapter I'm left DEVASTATED and begging for more. 

It Would Be So Simple | Chapter 05

Series Masterlist

Fic Playlist

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x OC

Summary/synopsis: Horacio and Kiara have split after the disintegration of their marriage. Some time later, Horacio is alarmed when he receives word that Kiara may be missing

Chapter warning(s): language, angst city

WC: ~6.6k

PAST

There she was again. 

If Horacio was a man that believed in fate, he would feel there was something destined to take place between him and the young woman he found himself staring at outside the cafe. It had been another week since their last encounter at the park and now he was preparing to enter the cafe he usually relaxed at on Saturday afternoons. Except, he was now frozen in place outside when he spotted her sitting at a window seat, with a book in hand. It was only the potential embarrassment of looking like a stalker that made him open the door and walk in. 

Kiara was too engrossed in her book to even take stock of the quiet cafe’s door opening or the soft step of the man’s shoes as he wandered over to the register.

The barista already knew his order and rang up his coffee and dessert before getting everything together. Usually, he’d oblige the kind lady who ran the cafe and go ahead and sit at his usual spot, but he was rooted where he stood, wondering what he should do. 

She’d been on his mind all week, his attention flashing back to her in those quiet moments when he thought about her vibrancy. A spirited personality, one so bright that he had never encountered before. His own spirit was drawn to hers in ways that he couldn’t help.

Their short lived conversations were etches of dialogue that ran through his head everyday at multiple points throughout. Even now, as he grabbed his coffee and the arroz con leche that Señora Gómez refused to charge him for, he thinks back to their conversation in the park last week and how she wouldn’t let him apologize for not showing up at the bar when she invited him. 

How she instead asked him about his ribs, which were still sore. How she said she hoped he wouldn’t need to use her number for his injury and then winked. 

He was expecting hurt feelings or a testy attitude for standing her up and he was met with honey laughter and her phone number. He supposed being easy going was just in her nature, with the way she navigated the busy medical sphere during their first encounter. And then there was the fact she came from a background of moving around a lot if her stepfather’s United Nations post was any indication. 

Without dissuading his feet from the motion, he began moving towards her instead of settling at his usual corner on the opposite side of the little shop. She only looked up finally when he spoke.

“Is this seat taken?”

He was greeted with the brightest of smiles as she stood up, “Horacio!” 

She hugged him like they were old childhood friends and the soldier might have felt his heart rate halt. 

“Come on, sit! How are you?” 

They settled in their seats simultaneously, and Horacio felt his lips broaden.

“I see you’ve managed not to get yourself blown up again since the last time I saw you,” she noted with a teeth baring smile. 

He looked down with a muted grin.

“Those ribs haven’t been giving you much trouble, have they?” she inquired. 

“Not much, no,” He shook his head. And while he was still dealing with some soreness, he was very much on his way to healing completely. The bruises had faded and his scars were healing. Monday would be his first day back on duty.

“Good. I guess that explains why you haven’t called.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully, having fun trying to tease him. He managed not to blush or stumble over his own tongue as he chuckled at her antics. He still wasn’t sure how or where he gathered the gall to ask her for her number in the first place. And, in that time since, it hadn’t occurred to him that he could simply pick up the phone and speak to her instead of allowing his thoughts to run wild with what she may be doing or what her life had been like up until now. He could just ask.

Kiara giggled into her coffee, “It’s fun making you squirm.”

Horacio shared her simper before looking down at her book. “I see you’re reading a modern classic.”

“One Hundred Years of Solitude” in its native Spanish was strewn across the square dining table, the pages turned downward with aged creases forming along its spine. 

The young nursing student nodded, “Yeah, kind of an old comfort book I go back to when I’m not interested in reading anything new.” 

“What’re your other favorites?” Horacio asked as he leaned back in his chair.

“Hm… Well, I know they’re children’s books, but I really love the Nancy Drew series. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Bluest Eye. Oh, and A World for Julius! Another modern classic, I think.”

He nodded his head, listening intently, taking in the titles he recognized and the ones he didn’t. He noted, “You’re an avid reader.” 

Kiara shrugged, “I mean, I don’t really get a lot of time to do so these days, but yeah, it’s a nice way to spend a lazy day.”

“I guess I should probably leave you to it, then,” he moved to stand, but she grabbed at his hand with the shake of her head. 

“Stay. I like the company.” 

Her hand lingered in his until he shifted back into his seat with a nod.

Their quiet afternoon continued with Kiara engrossed in her book and Horacio enjoying the serenity. Sometimes, Horacio would bring a book himself to read and other times, he’d just spend his time at the cafe, enjoying the quiet and taking in the lush, vibrant surroundings of this neighborhood. Señora Gómez brought over more coffee for them and switched the radio’s station from the cumbia music to a station that played more slowed down rock tracks from local indie bands. 

Once Kiara got to a stopping point at the end of a chapter, she looked up and put her book back down. 

“So, is this place a regular spot for you? Or do you like exploring different places like me?”

“It’s more of a staple for me. I’ve explored Bogota enough for this to be my favorite cafe.” 

Kiara looked at him, measuring him up, “Yeah, this seems like your vibe. Quiet, deep in the cut…”

The cafe was nestled in a little nook between larger buildings and on a less populated road, which might account for the little foot traffic the business drummed up. 

Horacio exchanged a questioning look and out of curiosity, asked, “What? It’s not really your vibe?”

She giggled at his mirroring of her lingo and the teasing glint in his eyes told her that he was purposefully mocking her, “Well, it’s definitely a vibe, but… If I wanted quiet, I’d just go to a library. I like hearing the hustle and bustle of life around me when I’m in a coffee shop.”

“Somehow, I don’t find that surprising at all,” he mused. 

“Really?” her eyebrows perked up, “figured you’d peg this girl as the small town type. Slow and breezy.”

“Your personality is way too big for the small town persona.”

She couldn’t hide her smile at that statement, but looked down nonetheless. The glint of Horacio’s watch caught her eye and she grabbed at his arm to confirm what time it was.

“Oh, shoot! I’ve gotta go, I’m supposed to be meeting with my brother.”

Kiara had shot out of her seat and Horacio slowly rose with her. He gleaned over her as she grabbed her book and stuffed it into her tote bag.

“The brother that works for Interpol, I presume.”

“The one and only!”

Time was moving so fast in just those few seconds and Horacio was panicking at the thought of this being his last chance at fate. What if he never saw her again? What if their paths never again crossed? Sure, he had her number, but what reason would he have to contact her now that he was mostly healed? 

“Would you mind if I came along with you?” 

The words were tossed out before his tongue could reel them back in.

Confusion colored Kiara’s features, “To meet my brother?”

“Yes, that explosion the other week was carried out by international traffickers. We’ve been trying to find a link to which other countries they have reach in. Perhaps, your brother has some intel that might help give us a lead.”

It’s not that everything he just spewed out of his mouth was untrue. It actually was. But Horacio was a soldier. He may be involved with drug interdiction cases but more so as muscle. In a tactical role. Gathering intelligence and putting together cases was out of his wheelhouse and thus not really something he should be concerning himself with. He winced internally at his request and was about to open his mouth to retract before Kiara beat him to the punch.

“Oh!” she said in understanding, “Yeah, no problem!”

She put her tote bag over her shoulder and led the way outside. She looked back once they were outside, “I actually walked here…”

“We can take my car.” 

Once they settled into the Jeep Laredo, Kiara looked over at him and smiled, “I don’t know why, but this just fits you.” 

She patted the passenger seat as she spoke.

“Oh, it seems like my ‘vibe’?”

Kiara cracked up and retorted, “Okay, if you’re gonna steal my lingo, that means you have to teach me some Colombian idioms or something.”

He looked over at her briefly with a teasing smile before returning his eyes to the cobble-stoned road, “It’s a promise.”

*********

“We’ve been following some known figure heads mainly and trying to keep track of any peculiar communication, but nothing’s really stuck. We didn’t even get any kind of prior warning about the runners getting spooked from you guys moving in on them,” Laz explained.

The trio was standing in a shaded portion of the same park that Horacio and Kiara met in the other week. Once Kiara introduced the two of them, she’d let them take over the conversation with just a slight prod at Laz to give any helpful info to Horacio straight. 

“What about any noise being made afterwards? Only a few of them were arrested at the scene and they were all foot soldiers.”

Laz shrugged, “These guys are good. That’s why they’ve been able to evade capture in whatever country they pop up in. It’s like whack-a-mole. Knock ‘em down in one place, eventually they turn up somewhere else. Honestly, I don’t even think they’ll be much of a problem for you moving forward because they’re not intent on getting caught up twice.”

Maybe it should’ve, but it didn’t give Horacio much comfort. He didn’t want them to no longer be a problem because they retreated into the darkness. He wanted them to no longer be a problem because they were brought into the light for justice to be carried out. For them to be expelled out from the places they sought refuge in his land. 

Still though, he nodded in appreciation at Laz and then at Kiara. Though he was grateful for the information, his main reason for coming here was simply because he wasn’t ready to be away from this vibrant being that had somehow caught his eye. And now it was time to leave. 

“Thank you,” he spoke to Laz before taking a step back, “I guess I should leave you two. I enjoyed the coffee with you,” he admitted, looking expressly at Kiara.

She smiled brightly, “Ditto.” 

She saw him begin to turn away and her face paused for a minute. Without another thought, she called him back.

“Come back to the hospital on Monday to get your lungs checked. We’ll see if you were telling the truth about doing those breathing exercises I told you about.”

Horacio nodded once again, internally beaming at another chance to be in her stratosphere. 

“Si, señorita.” 

Kiara watched him walk away and head towards his Jeep. Laz watched between the two of them with a curious eye and smirked at his little sister.

“I didn’t know you were dating.”

Her head snapped to him with widened eyes, “I’m not!” 

Laz’s face morphed into a “really?” expression before she put her hands up in defense with a laugh.

“I’m not! I’m serious. We’re just friends. ….If that. I treated him at the hospital.”

Her older brother nearly hummed but said nothing further. 

*****

Horacio did indeed show up at the hospital’s emergency room on Monday. There was a rare slow dull to her shift and she had just returned to the nurse’s station from a coffee break when a coworker nodded her head towards someone. 

Kiara followed the nudge and saw him standing awkwardly in the hallway.

“He asked for you.”

Her smile lit up as she traipsed over to where he stood. 

“Capitán Carrillo…” 

“Enfemera Nash..”

“Estudiante, técnicamente,” she corrected.

He nodded his head side to side in a playful manner that reflected “neither here nor there” but only hummed in his verbal response. 

“Shall we?” She gestured towards a small room that he turned around and led her into before sitting in the sole chair of the examination room. At her silent bequest, he took his shirt off.

The bruisings were now tinges of fading yellows compared to the dark splotches of purple that were spread over his frame these past couple of weeks. She softly palpated her fingers along the tender pigmentations, and found that they were no longer sensitive to her touch. There was still some swelling on his right side where the broken ribs were, but the skin was less elevated than before. His ribs were on track to being almost completely healed.

She listened to his heart and lungs and found a strong heartbeat and clear airways. 

“Well, it looks like you’ve been following orders,” she noted as she placed the stethoscope back around her neck.

“Provocations of being a soldier.”

She smiled at his comment and gestured with her head for him to stand up, “Let’s just do a few exercises so I can check on your range of motion.”

He followed along with her directions, moving whichever way she directed and answering her questions truthfully.

“My brother called. Asked if there was anything else he could do to help… He was a little disappointed he couldn’t give you a lot to go on.”

He nodded in acknowledgement of her statement as he shrugged his shoulders against her resistance. 

“It’s fine. To be truthful, I knew to be expecting a miracle,” he sighed his own regret, “It’s just beginning to get frustrating, that’s all. To constantly feel behind the curve.”

Kiara could hear the tiredness in his voice. She hummed her sympathy, “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re doing everything you can do.”

“That’s just it. It used to be enough. I used to think I was doing everything I could do. Now, I’m not so sure.”

She gleaned the weariness in his features and asked softly, “You holding up okay?”

Almost like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he shook his head, washing the exhaustion off his face and replacing it with a placating smile.

“Yeah… yeah.”

He looked back at her, his narrowed eyes wondering how much she could see through him. The face she wore was one of indifference but there was something in the way that she studied him. Something that told him she knew more than she let on. He wasn’t sure what he appreciated more in that moment: the fact that she could see the inner turmoils in his head or the fact that her raised eyebrow told him that she knew he knew that she could see the pensiveness in him.

He looked down when she took two steps back from him, finished with testing his strength and range of motion.

“All done,” she announced as she handed him back his shirt and then went to the sink to wash her hands. When she walked back towards him, he was still standing in the same spot, now fully clothed.

He looked at her, breathing relaxed breaths, but unable to voice what he was looking for right now. 

But still…

She knew.

“You can be doing everything right and it’s still not enough. Maybe, take that as a chance to figure out what “enough” means to you.”

She shrugged her shoulders and turned towards the door, “At least, that’s what I have to do when I feel like I’m at a fork in the road.” 

“And what do you do from there?” He asked, willing her to stay in the room with him for just a few more seconds.

She turns back and smiles. 

“There’s only two directions you can go. You take the one that feels right and pray to God you’re fast enough to turn back around if you’re wrong as shit.”

______

PRESENT

“I just needed to hear your voice.”

Horacio sat there momentarily stunned at the sound of his ex-wife’s voice. He never thought he’d hear from her again and several emotions pulsed through him as he processed her voice. 

There’d been so many times over the past two months that he wanted to call her. It’d been the longest they’d gone without hearing from each other and it felt like a piece of him was rotting the longer time went on. Now, it felt like those miniscule pieces of his soul were floating back to his core. And his heart warmed because if she was calling, maybe she was going through the same emotions. The racing impulses just to hear each other. Thirty seconds into answering the phone and he could already feel so much stress from his everyday life lifting. 

“Horacio? …Are you there?”

She brought him back into focus from the airiness that had short-circuited his brain. A swelling of air entered his lungs as he heaved a deep breath, still savoring the peace that was calming him. 

“I’m here, Kiara,” he finally said. He heard a relieved sigh from her end and he wasn’t sure if it came from the fact that he hadn’t hung up on her or maybe she was experiencing the same sort of bliss that was now hovering around him.

“How -uh… How are you?” 

He closed his eyes, always hating when he could hear tentativeness coming from the voice of one of the most confident people he knew. He never used to hear her sound like that whenever she spoke to him. And now it was etched into every word she spoke. He knew he was the cause of it and it burned him up inside. 

“I’m…” He paused, wondering what the best course of action was here. Should he be honest? Tell her that he’s been struggling internally ever since their last phone call? Tell her that he always envisioned ridding his country of one of the most notorious malefactors as one of his greatest purposes and he never expected to feel so empty afterwards? Or does he tell her that he’s perfectly fine? That life goes on and he’s riding the waves of it in stride? 

He settles for, “I’m hanging in there.” 

There was silence over the line. Neither of them knew where to go next. How to even hold a conversation with someone you were used to having thousands of conversations with for over a decade. He didn’t know what she wanted from this conversation, considering she called, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted from their call either.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m sorry for just calling out of the blue.”

Their voices were mended together as the words left their mouth at the same time. 

More silence as the other person’s words sunk in.

“Sorry,” he chuckled apologetically. 

“It’s okay,” he could hear the smile in her voice and it filled him with so much warmth.

She spoke again, “I’m sorry I called you. I know you said we shouldn’t talk anymore, I just-”

 “Kiara,” He interrupted her with a soft sigh, “It’s okay. If I’m being honest, I’ve thought a lot about calling you over the past few weeks. It’s good to hear from you.”

“Really?”

The pang of shock in her voice sent aches to his chest. This never should’ve happened. They never should have fallen this far apart. 

“Really,” he echoed, “How is it over there? Is it everything you wanted?”

He hadn’t meant for his tone to come across so sorrowful. She stayed quiet on the other end and hoped that he hadn’t brought up their shared sense of resentment. The words had slipped out so easily from behind his mental guard rail. Almost like he was searching for some sort of comfort in this anguish. And her living out her dreams was probably the single piece of solace he’d find in this. 

“I never meant for this to ruin us, Horacio.”

She hadn’t answered the question. Perhaps to spare his feelings, he thought. To not throw in his face that she was living the life that she wanted and it was without him.

“I know,” he whispered. 

And for a few instances, all that could be heard was the sound of their breathing.

He finally worked up the nerve to ask, “Why did you call?”

“I just needed to hear your voice,” she parroted her earlier statement. 

He didn’t know what to do with that or how to even respond. 

“I should let you go… I’ve taken up enough of your time.” 

Her voice had gone from laced with emotion to clear and more formal. The resonant voice she’d use in the clinical setting when dealing with patients. She was speaking to him like a patient, very much unlike all the times he actually was her patient.

“Wait, Kiara-”

Maybe he just needed to hear her voice, too. And he wasn’t ready to let go of it. Maybe she had it right and it was time for them to get off the phone, but he couldn’t let go. Not when he was unsure when the next time they spoke would be. Not when he was unsure whether they’d ever speak again.

“Why were you calling me from a different number? It’s unlisted, did you move?”

He heard her pause. It was a simple question, one that should’ve yielded a simple response.

“Was it because you thought I wouldn’t answer if I saw your number?” He guessed when she wasn’t fast enough to provide an answer herself, “Because I would’ve answered if you called. I’d always answer, Kiara.”

“I have to go, Horacio, I’m sorry.” 

He frowned, unsure of why she was apologizing. She was slipping away. There wasn’t enough time. He wasn’t ready. 

“Stay safe, okay?” She spoke with urgency. With desperation. “Please stay safe.”

“You too,” he spoke strongly, conveying the brawn of being a colonel but the tenderness of a husband. He hoped either or both brought her comfort.

“Goodbye, Horacio.”

She’d hung up before he got the chance to wish her the same. He placed the phone back on its hook and frowned, feeling unnerved. The entire conversation left him feeling conflicted throughout. But even still, he could’ve stayed on the phone with her for hours. If just to hear her breathing. She needed to hear his voice and somehow she knew he sought the same. Still, the call ended much too abruptly for his taste and it left him feeling the confused disorientation after waking up from a hangover. He pressed his palms against his sinuses and forehead, uneasiness flaring up as he combed over their conversation. He could’ve never imagined that speaking to Kiara for the first time in months would’ve left him feeling so lost and perplexed.

________

“Dammit!” Laz muttered under his breath as he finished listening to his voicemail, slamming the phone back into its receiver. Confused and concerned glances from his co-workers floated around the room as they took in their disgruntled colleague. No one knew why he had been exhibiting gradual unease as the days went by and no one was sure they wanted to enter his path of irritation. Their caseload at Interpol was slow right now and that usually indicated a jovial work environment. But there was nothing but silent tension aerating over the space as the man laid a heavy fist down on his desk.

“What the hell is going on?” 

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, willing his mind to make sense of what seemed so fuzzy right now.

Nothing made sense and it pissed him off to no end.

It also didn’t help that he couldn’t get the image of his ex-brother in law with a woman inside his house outside of his head. He should’ve known better than to believe all the shit Pena was spewing about Horacio being broken up and barely able to function without Kiara. The DEA agent stood in front of him and lied about how the head of the Search Bloc had been struggling all this time when clearly that wasn’t the case. And of course, he fucking bought it. Bought it enough to pull up to the house that Kiara used to live in and seek out Horacio to let him know what was going on. Oh, what a surprise it was to walk in on what he walked in on. Horacio Carrillo doing just fine without Kiara.

He leaned back in his seat behind his desk and scoffed. Still in disbelief at the sight that had met his eyes when he was at the man’s door. Another woman in the home that he shared with his wife. With Laz’s sister. The home Horacio had let Kiara pick because he declared that all he needed was a bed and a shower. The home where she learned how to juice fresh fruits after discovering passion fruit vines in the backyard. The home where they conceived and then lost their child. All of these memories forged, for better and for worse in that house, and they meant not a damn thing to Horacio. Seeing Horacio and that woman so comfortable in the home that used to be Kiara's, it made Laz sick. And so incredibly angry.

As far as Laz was concerned, Kiara had just left. And everyday, he was pissed at her for just up and abandoning him, but he also just missed her so much to the point where it felt like he was mourning her as if she’d died. He was desperate for her to come back home. He thought he shared that sentiment with Horacio, the one commonality they had. And obviously he could see he’d been very wrong in thinking that. He wanted to believe that his sister was the love of Horacio’s life, but it never seemed to ring true. At least, since she left. Laz had only had small glimpses of the man since she left and he was always the hardened, cold colonel in every one of those instances. 

Laz blew out another deep breath and lifted his head to the ceiling. He shook his head at himself, knowing that was his anger talking. The man always walked around like he had a stick up his ass. That was true, even when he was with Kiara. But he could see when Kiara would pull back her husband’s layers and melt some of the man’s coldness away. How she would run to him and make him pick her up ever since the Dirty Dancing movie came out. How Horacio would listen to her rant about something trivial and respond with an amused, muted “Yes, dear” whenever she asked if he agreed. Laz knew the love was there when they were together. He was foolish to deny otherwise. But he just couldn’t understand how it all went to shit. How they went from that to this. Her in an entirely different country and him with another woman in their house.

If he learned anything from today, it was that he’d be on his own when it came to finding Kiara. He couldn’t rely on Horacio’s help or anyone’s really. It was up to him to figure out what was going on.

No one in the shared office space had uttered a word to the emotionally volatile Interpol agent but weary eyes exchanged silent messages of concern across the room. Laz paid them no mind until one of them hesitantly made his way to Laz’s desk.

“Everything okay, Laz?” 

He looked up and could tell that even though most heads were down into their work, they were, more than likely, eavesdropping.

“I’m good,” he nodded his head with a smile he didn’t even bother to make real, “Just need to talk to the boss man, y’all have a good night.”

He rose up from his seat and walked down the hall to the office of his boss, giving a salute to the rest of his colleagues in doing so. The office door was open and he peeked in before knocking. 

Michael Luna was the head agent in charge in the Colombian division of Interpol and his head was currently deep in a stack of files, pen in hand, marking important notes in the margins. 

He looked up at the sound of Laz knocking and gestured for the man to come in.

“Got a second?”

Luna nodded, still holding his pen in hand, “What do you need, Laz?”

“I need your help.”

“With what?”

“My sister.”

___________________

It was so scorching that Horacio had only been outside in the sun for a few minutes before sweat began to drip down the side of his face. He’d been outside since he was leading a drill with a collective of young officers, making sure they were maintaining the physical rigor that came with their posts.

That wasn’t really in his job description anymore since he’d reached the rank of colonel, which was why his drill this morning had raised a few eyebrows. 

Trujillo exchanged an expression of concern with Peña before walking over to him after Carrillo had left for outside to start the drill.

“His sudden change in demeanor got anything to do with you know who?”

Peña rolled his eyes, “She’s not Satan, Trujillo, you can say her name.” 

Trujillo raised his hands up in defense. Still though, Peña answered, “I don’t know.” 

Meanwhile, outside, Horacio paced in front of the officers, watching them sharply as they carried out the drill. 

“Colonel Carrillo!” A voice belonging to one of the guards at the front gate sounded off, “There’s someone at the front gate, Interpol agents. They’re asking for you.”

Horacio looked behind the front gate guard and saw another guard escorting Laz and another Interpol agent towards him.

The colonel looked to his officers and ordered, “Tomar un descanso.”

As he turned back towards his guests, tension filled his shoulders, uneasiness settling within him the closer he walked towards them. It didn’t help that he knew there were prying eyes probably trying to decipher what was going on.

“Colonel.” The unfamiliar man spoke. With a sharp eye from their superior, the front gate guards walked back towards their post. Carrillo looked back at the weathered agent and took the hand that he offered to shake. He could see that Laz was avoiding his gaze and so he chose not to address him. It’d been a week since he showed up at the house and stormed out shortly thereafter. Carrillo hadn’t heard from him since, but he figured whatever he came to discuss that day was why he was here now.

“I’m Michael Luna, I work over at Interpol with Laz, who you know,” he spoke smoothly with a lilt of knowing both in his voice and also the rise of his eyebrow, “We need to ask you a few things, it won’t take long.”

With a sigh, Horacio did a brief glance around and called out to a nearby soldier and instructed him to complete the drill.

He, then, led the way towards his office, sparing a brief glance at Laz as the duo followed him. On the way to their destination, he also caught brief looks of confusion from Trujillo and Peña as they stood talking near Peña’s desk. He noticed that Peña’s stare wasn’t directed at him actually, but towards Laz. If Horacio had looked back, he might’ve caught the subtle, silent bit of communication exchanged between them.

Letting them enter his office before them, he closed the door and took a seat behind his desk. Looking back at him, Laz’s face held barely bridled anger while Luna’s was more inquisitive. 

After a few seconds of silence, Horacio finally asked, “What did you need to talk to me about?”

Luna looked to Laz, almost expectantly, with the colonel’s eyes flickering impatiently between the two.

“Is this about a case? About any relevant intelligence?” His clipped tone hit the air.

Laz still said nothing, only heaving a deep breath with his bitter eyes still aimed at his ex brother-in-law.

“No, this isn’t about a case,” Luna finally spoke. His eyes had veered back to Horacio as he leaned back in his chair, “When was the last time you heard from your ex-wife?”

Horacio’s eyebrows immediately furrowed. His gaze shot right back to Laz and then to Luna, confused and troubled that neither were giving much of an explanation for their presence. 

“Why are you asking me about Kiara?” 

Luna merely shrugged. 

“Just answer the question, Carrillo,” The animosity in Laz’s voice wasn’t to be missed, especially because they were the first words he had asserted since stepping on the Carlos Hoguin grounds. 

“This is why you came to talk to me last week?” Horacio inquired, but Laz gave him nothing. Alarmed at the bringing up of her name, he persisted, “Is something wrong? Is she okay?” 

The hardened exterior Laz was used to had faltered and he could see genuine inklings of fear spark across Horacio’s face. Still though, Laz remained silent. 

“Dammit Lazaro, is Kiara the reason you came to see me?!” Carrillo’s voice rose with every word, as did he. He went from sitting straight in his seat to towering over the two men behind his desk. 

Laz blinked and gave a simple, “Yes.”

The one word reply only upset Carrillo further.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that? Why do you need to know whether I’ve heard from her?” Still angered, there was shakiness in his intonations, some of that underlying fear coming to the surface. 

And just because he was an asshole, Laz shrugged. He shrugged and it took everything for Carrillo not to reach across his desk and throttle him.

“Didn’t think you’d care, considering you were preoccupied.”

And because Luna was worried that Carrillo might actually come across the desk, he jumped in, “That’s enough.”

He looked at Carrillo and intoned calmly, “We need to know if you’ve heard from her, Colonel.” 

Last week’s conversation with Kiara whirled around in Horacio’s mind. Had something happened in the time since he spoke to her? Was something wrong when he spoke to her? The call was peculiar on its own, but he tried wracking his mind, looking for any irregularity that might signal that she was in danger. 

He could see the animosity in Laz’s eyes, still, and he knew that whatever answer he gave them, they’d walk away and leave without giving him any kind of explanation if it didn’t help with whatever they were trying to accomplish.

“Please just tell me why you need to know. Is she okay? Is she in danger?”

His voice had softened considerably, his guard slowly chipping away.

Laz stood up and looked him dead in the face, “That doesn’t concern you anymore.” Looking at Luna, he said, “He doesn’t know shit. Waste of fucking time…”

If he had been paying attention, he might’ve been able to dodge the vicious punch Horacio landed across his cheek. “Not my concern?!” He grabbed the collar of Laz’s shirt pulling him across the desk, “You know if it involves her, it will always concern me!”

It wasn’t Luna getting in between them that finally swooped Horacio out of his vehement turmoil, but the sound of knocking on his office door and Sandra appearing from behind it.

“Colonel?”

She hadn’t realized the tense situation she just walked into and stood posted at the door, taking in the three sets of eyes that were now on her.

Laz’s eyes were the first to shift off her, turning back towards Carrillo, “That right there, Carrillo,” he said with his finger pointing towards Sandra. “That right there is why she doesn’t concern you anymore.”

The older Nash sibling didn’t wait for a response, but merely turned his back to Carrillo.

“Nash-” 

“I don’t have time for this shit!” He threw back over his shoulder, heading for the door.

Horacio stalked after him, reaching his arm before he could get to the door. Laz whirled back in anger and snatched his arm out of the colonel’s grasp. He was met with mutual fury as his ex-brother-in-law stood eye to eye with him. There was a brief instant of silence before the door opened further and Peña appeared behind Sandra. His irked face indicated that their sparring had bounced off into the halls of the building.

Laz looked back and forth between Peña and Carrillo before shaking his head. 

“Fucking pathetic…” he muttered.

“You don’t get to decide whether I care enough about her or not. No matter what happened between she and I, I deserve to know whether something has happened to her.”

Laz’s nose flared, “I think you lost that right the moment you started bringing girls over to the house you bought with your wife.”

“For fuck’s sake, Nash, she’s under a protection detail!”

Continuing on as if hearing nothing Carrillo said, Laz threw back, “Peña was talking all that bullshit about how my sister leaving destroyed you and come to find out, you’re busy playing Secret Service with the secretary.”

Another savage punch landed on Laz’s cheek, but this time, he anticipated the hit enough to lunge at him right afterwards. 

Peña uttered an irritated “Jesus Christ” before pushing Carrillo all the way back until they reached his desk. Luna shook his head with an admonishing glare while shoving Laz towards the opposite direction.

When he asked “You good?” to the agent under his command, it wasn’t so much out of concern as it was a cautionary “Get your fucking act together.”

Laz nodded his head, bending it down in deference.

“Let’s go,” Luna commanded in his soft tone.

“You know how much I care about your sister, Laz.” He turned back towards Carrillo. “There’s not a thing in this world that will ever change the way I feel about her.” 

And what Laz was met with, was not the animosity he’d been greeted with for the past few months, but despair. Despair and loss.

This time, Laz had nothing to say back.

Horacio looked down in his anguish, not able to withstand the looks of pity etched in everyone’s faces as they saw him in a flash of vulnerability.

“Get out,” he said softly, to no one in particular but also to everyone.

Though closest to the door, Sandra was the last one out, hesitating until she felt a pull of her sleeve.

Peña could see in her expression that she wanted to check on Carrillo. He knew she meant well, but it was the last thing the man needed right now.

He sighed and uttered, "Don't. He needs to be alone right now."

And maybe that was the next best thing he needed right now. But what he really needed?  Kiara.

*****

EEEEKK. Can't believe it's been so long since I last updated this. Especially when they're always heavy on my mind. Also, I hope y'all don't mind that I add OCs to my fics. I'm just a sucker for building relationships and creating a little universe inside a narrative that's already so immersive. Each piece I write is its own little metaverse and I like putting more ppl in it whenever the inspo strikes. Marcus Alvarez was my inspo for Michael Luna in the sense that he's got that same calm, hardened exterior that commands respect. If you're ever interested in hearing me drone on about my OCs, however little they may appear, pls hit up my inbox and let me babble on and on lol

Interested to hear y'all thoughts on this chapter! Next chapter picks up right where we left off and of course, another flashback to their beginning!

Tag list: @drabbles-mc @supersanelyromantic @mysun-n-stars@ashlingnarcos

[water-hates-learning]

this has been in my head all day @pond-child-edd i’m sorry