#probably my fav thing to do bc its calm and i get to sit down

[kr1g]

Flower bouquets I've made so far during this summer

[rotshop]

You’re alright! I just got a little confused so I wanted to know, I also remember you saying you have 2B as one of your favs so I didn’t know it the Deimos stuff was bothering you. (Also don’t worry about bullying Deimos, he’s my favorite which means he gets EXTRA bullying from me (especially as Dedmos)).

2b MAY be a fav of mine but any madness combat character makes the little termites in my brain go ehehhehrepeerznebxcjekdksjejxjjejejwwiwiewu /pos

ALSO you have no idea how deranged i am abt hof so!!! i apologize in advance

Hofnarr

Chances are you messed with him a little bit at first lol. You would appear in his line of sight for a few seconds before walking around a corner or doorway and disappearing. YES it was a little mean but like..cmon...it was..a little funny...anyway eventually you like. actually show yourself when he's alone working on the improbability drive. (you just kinda loomed over him and went 'Whats that?' right next to his ear just to see him jump)

At first he was. a little scared of you. Listen. Listen he is like. relatively tall. You are fucking Skyscraper height compared to him. Not to mention, you are a pitch black figure who's been haunting him for like a week now with no word and you have ZERO facial features and he was a little too focused on his work to have really caught your tone SO he has no clue what you might be like. needless to say he is batting zero.

He kind of. hesitantly and very nervously explains his project to you for. some reason. While you just sit and listen to him. You just kinda go 'Oh cool' and then stay there and watch. He's still a little unnerved but he just keeps quiet about it.

You both just kinda fall into that routine of you showing up late at night and watching him work for a while and he warms up to you pretty quickly. It isn't long before he's distracted from the drive because he's too busy rambling to you about some memory of his or some random thing he seen that day. He can't feel too guilty abt it though because he's a little too caught up by ur laugh,,it makes him feel warm,,,

also the first time it got cold and you passed The Fuck Out he almost cried. he thought you just dropped dead or dipped bc it was late at night and he couldn't see you very well in the dark. he prefers if you stay at his apartment or whatever when it gets cold so he can keep an eye on you (also because he's really scared of other scientists finding you and freaking out and hurting you)

Tricky

For him it's probably a case of either 'oh i wonder what happened to my funny little scientist friend' or 'I GOTTA know what this guys deal is' when it comes to him.

if its the first one then you might've tried to call him Hofnarr to which he did NOT respond very well. you just tried to excuse it as best as you could. you said you'd confused him for someone else which..he doubted. like. he's fucking Deranged but he knows he doesn't look like many other people cmon. BUUUTTT on the other hand you dont seem to have eyes so. yknow.

ANYWAY he's super curious about you. thought you were the auditor first and tried to attack you but it didn't work out lmao. after that though he just kind of. stares at you a lot. and also pokes and prods at you because he's curious. ALSO tries to climb you.

whenever he climbs on you you tend to have to either just kind of. let him cling to your shoulder or just hold him. he's made a grab at your halo before but you kind of. scolded him abt it and said you didn't like it. he doesn't know why but he felt really guilty abt it and actually apologized. not a super long and heartfelt apology but still an apology nevertheless

you passed out around him once and instead of waking up to chaos like you'd expected you'd just woken up and went 'oh hey. im laying on him. cool.' he'd panicked at first bc oh shit!!! friend down :(( but he just did his best to calm down and also make you comfortable while you took ur ufcking ummm surprise nap <3. even dragged some old curtain over to act as a blanketfor you while you laid ur head on his lap or stomach

you hold him like a chihuahua while he bites at your hands (endearingly, like you know how cats give love bites or whatever?? he does that to you.)

you holding tricky: Do you have a fucking problem.

hank who's been staring for like 5 minutes now because he thinks you're the auditor and hes so fucking confused:

[kaaytea]

HI 🖐🏽 I read some of your work and it's so good. I love it. Especially 'Oikawa with braces' UwU and 'Getting rid of bugs for you' that was my fav reminded me of when I had a run in with a bunch of cockroaches at 3AM 😅😂 Would you mind doing a 2nd part for it with Kuroo , Oikawa , Terushima and Yaku THANK YOU 💖

Hello anon! Thank you for the kind words, I had the dumbest smile on my face reading this 🥺 Bro I feel you on the roach thing, I've had my fair share of roach encounters..it's not fun😔 thank you for requesting, I had a blast writing this!

Getting rid of bugs for you pt.2

⤷Includes: Kuroo, Oikawa, Yaku, and Terushima

Warnings: Roaches, centipedes, wasps, and crickets

----------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo

He's so smug about it

"oh you want me to get rid of this bug? Give me a kiss first"

If he can actually tell that you're really shaken up tho he's very serious about it

He hates seeing you scared, it just doesn't sit well with him

He'll probably requests a kiss after he gets rid of the bug tho

It was a cool summer evening, Kuroo was in the kitchen starting to cook dinner and you were lounging on the couch with a novel

You were just about to flip the page when something landed on the book

Oh

O H

So uh big wasp, that will probably get angry if you try to kill it, is crawling around towards your hand

Great......just peachy

Thank God Kuroo was In the kitchen bc he probably wouldn't have heard you whimper out his name if he was anywhere else in the apartment

"T-tetsu"

"What's wrong, (y/n)?"

"help me....please"

Ah...now he understands

He grabs a glass from one of the cupboards and swiftly makes his way over to you

He's VERY careful when trapping the wasp bc that last thing he wants is for you to get stung

He somehow directs it to crawl on to the cover of your book and traps it under the glass. He then quickly goes to release it on the balcony of your apartment

Immediately goes to check on you. He pulls you into his chest and kisses the top of your head asking if you're alright

"You alright, Kitten? Not hurt?"

"no I'm okay. Thank you for saving me for the hundredth time"

"I'll always make time to save you.....Now, I think I deserve a kiss, I risked my life to save you from that wasp."

Yaku

Yaku's a bad bitch nothing scares this guy

Will always get rid of bugs for you no matter the size

He likes feeling needed and LOVES protecting you; you are his baby and he'd do anything for you 💖

If you text him saying there's a bug in the house he will actually drive home and leave what ever he's doing to come save you

You had just finished washing your face and went to reach for the small towel that was hap hazardously tossed on to the bathroom counter

As you lifted the towel a large roach scUttLeD from under it

You let out the loudest shriek, dropped the towel and bOoKeD it out of the bathroom

Yaku was already running to find you when he heard you scream so he entered your bedroom just as you slammed the attached bathrooms door closed

He was really worried so he was in front of you in seconds grabbing on to your hands and asking what was wrong

"shhhh calm down calm down, what's wrong?"

"There's a roach in the bathroom!"

".....huh?"

"A ROACH MORI!! THERES A BIG, CRAWL AROUND THE SUBWAYS OF NEW YORK ROACH IN THE BATHROOM!!!"

Ok so there's a roach locked in the bathroom

This is new

He peeked into the bathroom and yep you weren't kidding, there was the roach sitting in the sink

Damn it is pretty big

Yaku didn't really know what to do. He was kinda iffy about killing the roach bc he didn't want to deal with..Uh.....cleaning the remnants of it, but what would he do with it after he trapped it? Where do you take a live roach?

He decided to just kill it, carrying a live roach around the apartment would send you into cardiac arrest

One good thwack! Later and thoroughly washing his hands in an attempt to get rid of that creepy crawly feeling, the bathroom was officially Roach free

You really snuggled up to him after the roach fiasco, giving him a tight hug and a kiss

"Thank you so much Mori, you're the best!"

"Anything for you :) 💖"

Oikawa

Ok so Oiks doesn't despise bugs, he's best friends with Iwa so he's seen his fair share of giant beetles and caterpillars, but he's not completely comfortable around them

If it's a tiny spider? Sure he's got this, just get him a paper towel

But if it's big? Yeah no he's just as freaked out as you are

He masks it very well tho

On the outside he's all: "don't worry babe I've got this, let your big, strong boyfriend handle it 😌✨"

But on the inside he's like: "oh fUck it's huge! Ah um ok... This is fine...wHy iS iT mOvInG sO fAsT?! Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me!"

Looks cool, calm, and collected but is an actual disaster

You were tidying up your bedroom, nothing too fancy just putting away some clothes, dusting here and there

You were just about to go celebrate your hard work with some ice cream and your favorite movie when you spotted a hair tie on the floor

Huh....How did you miss that?

You were jUst about to pick it up when you realized something

Hair ties don't have legs

UUUUUUHHHHH

WOW COOL YOU ALMOST PICKED UP A CENTIPEDE WITH YOUR BARE HAND HA HA SO FUN!!

Apparently the centipede didn't like you much as it started rUnnInG out of the bedroom and into the living room

You followed it so you could see where it was going

That's when your wonderful boyfriend came home 🥰

"Tooru! Get it, quickly!"

"what am I doing?"

"THE CENTIPEDE YOU FOOL!!"

He kinda panicked bc you were yelling at him and you were scared and wOW does that thing have a lot of leggys!

He slipped off the shoes he was wearing and just yEETED one at the bug boi

The both of you were just kinda staring at the shoe like 🧍

You turned to go thank him for dEmOlishing the centipede but stopped when you saw that pout on his face

"What's wrong?"

"I just bought those shoes, now one of them is tainted with centipede bits :("

Terushima

Will he laugh at you? Perhaps, but it's not to make fun of you, he just thinks you're really cute~

He’s not bothered by bugs at all, he actually thinks they’re super cool

Refuses to kill them bc, “They’re living creatures babe....plus look at how funny it walks! Why would you want to kill something this dope!”

It was movie night so you were on snack duty while Teru looked for something to watch on Netflix

you decided to just pop some popcorn and call it a job well done, plus all of the chips you had went stale bc Teru NevEr closes the bags well

You grabbed a bowl and threw some popcorn into the microwave 

You sat on the counter and scrolled through your phone as you waited for the microwave to go off

Did...something just move right next to you? 

Just as you glanced up you saw something jump into the bowl next to you

hElLO?! wHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! 

you were too scared to look into the bowl so you just called Teru to come investigate

“Yu?...Yuji there’s something in the kitchen!”

Teru is very used to this behavior and found it particularly amusing when you hid behind him as he stepped into the small kitchen

you watched from the entrance of the kitchen as Terushima placed a glass over what ever had jumped into the bowl

He was absolutely BEAMING as he watched the mystery creature in the bowl

“Babe come look it’s a cricket!” 

 “What? are you crazy? I’m not going anywhere near that thing!”

“But its soo cool! You have to come look at how high it can jump, this lil guy has mad hops” 

“I don’t care if it can jump to the fUcKing moon and back, just get it out of the kitchen!”

:(( ok he’ll get rid of the cricket, he really thinks you’re missing out tho

He lets the bug go outside and comes back to find you vigorously washing the bowl it had jumped into 

 He chuckles at your paranoia and goes to give you a back hug, pressing a kiss to your neck as his arms wrap around your waist 

you really were adorable to him 

[niks-minion]

a little pet peeve of mine is how horikoshi has been doing a great job of developing bakugou based on his actions yet it almost feels like he's scared to bring the natural change in outward demeanor that comes with maturing and changing worldviews. maybe it's because i'm a sucker for calmish!katsuki we saw in the flashbacks of 284 and 285, so it's kind of frustrating to me that his anger keeps getting used as comic relief instead of letting him show his growth and show more of that mature side we see in those two chapters.

i'd obviously never ask for katsuki to have a personality flip, it's barely been a year since he's started having a decade of learned behaviour questioned and his sass and brashness is one of the biggest reasons i love him, but i also understand why people are so insistent on ignoring his development because they don't pick up on the fact that horikoshi is making his anger more comical (eating speech bubbles in rage?) to show that it's not a big deal anymore. i guess i just feel it doesn't do its job well a lot of the time and the nuggets or the more self-reflective inner katsuki are too few and far between.

but i have hopes things will change in the upcoming chapters. wdyt?

Ok, sit down, because it’s gonna take a while. Inconsistent, chaotic, with tons of grammar mistakes and probably cursing ramble about my fav boy.

1. Bakugou’s development arc is one of the most dear things in this manga to me. From self centered prick to selfless team player, leader and savior.

2. His calm side was always with him. Low key but present.

3. He wasn’t downright rude and aggressive to anyone but Deku. ( I don’t wanna rant about why and what were his reasons, just Bakugou had an issue with Deku and was aggressive bc of it)

With all the rest he was just loud. Bc that’s how he is. Considering his dynamic with his mom, it’s just his way of communication, he used to it. Also it’s his protective mechanism, bc every time Kats let his guard down someone is there to sass him. 😀

4.After Bk vs Dk part 2, after he opened up for the first time and put enough effort to understand in return we see him calmly giving Izuku an advice about how to be better and stronger (for a second, he’s still his rival)

5. After that the change is gradual and never stoping. He listens to others’ opinions and don’t outright dismiss it if it differs from his own. (Like how he lets Todo to try and deal with kids his way for example) Bakugou giving that kid an advice from his sempai is in my top ten Baku moments chart.

But his not just magically a perfect guy after he had his confrontation with his childhood pain in the ass, he’s still Katsuki, who beats Kiri with the notebook while helping him study.

6. Think about the amount of time you must spend calmly reflecting on your life and choices you’ve made to analyze and come up with the right questions and realize that you’re missing something.

7. What I’m saying is that there was plenty of calm Bakugou even before 284-285. This guy is smart, he’s a good strategist, a good friend in his own gremlin way. And yes, his loudness now is just a comic relief and my source for countless jokes but... is it bad? It’s his brand trait and...I like it?

So let him be yelling at stupid extras sometimes, bc we all know it’s a ‘bark no bite’ kinda endearing thing of his. I’d say Hori delivered his growth splendidly without making Katsuki OOC.

Can’t wait to see him again.

[notgonnarememberthis]

find your way (back to me) - chapter eleven

I was initially going to hold back on this update until Sunday but y’all already know my impulse control is nonexistent and with the encouragement of new friends (hey naomi and elena!!) I had to go ahead and post. Tried something a little new with this chapter and it focuses a lot on Malcolm and I learned I actually like writing in his POV a lot so that’s new. It also features more Edrisa bc I love her and she’s my best friend’s absolute fav so I had to do them some service after the help with the last chapter which got some of my most insanely complimentary comments. Like one of y’all really commented how I wrote Martin well and I didn’t stop smiling the entire day. That’s fucking insane. Hope y’all enjoy the update and are staying safe!

Gil steps out of the room, exhaustion settling into him. Immediately Ainsley sits up leaning forward with her elbows on her knees.

“How is she? Is she ok?” The drive back from Claremont had been the worst. Jessica had jumped with every siren sounding and in New York? It was a lot. Ainsley held her hand the entire time while Malcolm rocked, his brain firing off at a million miles a minute. Nobody said a word but it was Jessica’s silence that was the most concerning to them. 

What the hell happened in that cell?

“She remembered what happened, didn’t she?” Malcolm casts a glance at Ainsley who doesn’t meet his gaze. Gil can only shrug.

“She still hasn’t said anything but something in there definitely got to her. I called Dani and JT. They agreed to be the new details until we can sort out why she got so uncomfortable when we passed the guards on our way out and the drive home.”

“We should go get mom’s things.” Ainsley says. “She only packed clothes. She left all of her products and things she’ll probably need. Who knows how long this stay will last, we should at least make her comfortable.” But she shifts her eyes to the door where Jessica was sleeping, or at least pretending to. She feels guilty for leaving her twice, it’s written all over her face.

“I’ll go.” Malcolm offers. “I feel like we missed something that night. It’ll give me a chance to look again.”

“Hell no.” Gil protests immediately. “I’m not comfortable with you going alone.”

“I’ll bring a detail.” His retort is interrupted by the sound of movement from the other room, like someone shifting around in the bed. Jessica is listening and for whatever reason, she doesn’t like that.

“We can go tomorrow. Right now I want all of us under the same roof.” Malcolm tips his head back, annoyed then rises again with an idea.

“What if I bring Edrisa? She’ll be able to help me look around and we’ll be back before you know it.” No more sounds of ruffling interrupt so Gil has to give in.

“Fine, but I want updates. And if you get even a whiff that something is wrong you two get the hell out.”

“Deal.” Gil sighs as Malcolm rushes off to text Edrisa.

The Whitly’s are going to be the death of him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“This is so exciting.” Edrisa practically bounces with every step up the driveway. “I’ve never actually got to be a part of the actual investigation.” She pauses, a thought interrupting her excitement. “Should I have brought something to defend myself?”

Malcolm smiles, her enthusiasm is refreshing after his day. Honestly, part of him just wanted to talk to her to get some of the weight of the world off his shoulders. For a brief moment this case isn’t a killer threatening his family. It’s just him and Edrisa. “Edrisa, we’re just getting clothes.”

“Are you sure cause I have pepper spray in my car.”

“Yes I’m sure.” He holds the door open for her gesturing to enter. “And besides, you’ve got me.” She beams at that, her pep coming back in full force as she bounds to the kitchen. He follows with a shake of his head.

“Ok, so what are we looking for?”

“Well, my mother drinks tea like most people drink water.” He points to the cabinet where they usually keep it. “It’s her comfort but Gil doesn’t keep tea in the house.” If Edrisa is curious why, she doesn’t show it. His tone is enough and he’s absolutely certain she read the casefile from that night.

Tea was how the surgeon sedated his victims, Gil was almost one of them.

When Edrisa opens the cabinet her eyes widen. The shelves are stacked with bags of tea, neatly sealed with tight creases. “That’s a lot.” She chuckles.

“It’s everyone’s favorites. Chai for Ainsley, the black is mine. She has every worker’s favorites, I think she even managed to get JT’s but don’t tell him that.”

“My lips are sealed. Matcha is my favorite, by the way.” She winks.

“Oh, she knows.” He grins at the wide, starry eyed look she gets. She blushes and clears her throat before turning back to the task. “Mother’s is the earl grey supreme.”

“What’s the difference between that and the earl grey?”

“Honestly?” Malcolm shrugs. “Price, probably.” Often she falls into the trap of the more expensive the better, it makes for an interesting Christmas and a pain in the ass to get gifts for her when she just buys anything she could possibly want on a whim.

Edrisa stops for a second, her posture straightening, and then getting on her tiptoes to see better. Even from behind he can tell she’s got something on her mind. It’s confirmed when she reaches inside pulling out a smaller, black bag. His head tilts because his mother never bought small bags. Even for people that rarely passed through she wanted to make sure they were prepared. Then the label catches his eye, it’s a completely different brand then what she normally buys from. A brand he hasn’t seen in years.

The brand his father likes.

“Where did you find that?” He asks, on edge and looking out the door. The house is silent other than the two of them but that doesn’t mean that can’t change at any second.

“It was on the bottom shelf and it’s open. All the rest are sealed. Why?”

Just like that it all pieces together. 

His mother had asked him that night if he made tea. He’d told her no and that made her seem more agitated. At first he thought it was because the killer had made her tea, had been in her room. No, it was much more than that. With Freddy’s connection to Claremont, the ability for the killer to find her bedroom and the kitchen so quickly, and the tea that his father used to make.

“The surgeon. He knows who the killer is.” The rush of emotion the punches him in the chest makes him stumble back against the counter. Edrisa runs to him, one hand on his elbow to steady him. Her presence isn’t enough to tamper the anger thudding in his chest with every heartbeat. He knew. He knew when she was missing. He knows now that her life is being threatened.

He was the one who got her to remember.

“That’s why she’d gone to him. She recognized the tea and didn’t say a word about it. Why didn’t she tell us?” Anger clashes with sadness burning at his retinas. He shuts his eyes tightly pressing the heels of his palm to them trying to get himself back under control.

“Malcolm.” His own name sounds unfamiliar in Edrisa’s voice. She’d always called him Bright. Never Malcolm. “Let’s get her stuff and go. They’ll get worried soon.” Her calmness has him taking a deep breath and nodding. “Good.” She extends her hand to him, it’s an almost childish offer in its innocence. Her hand is something to ground him to the world. It gives him something different to focus on rather than his feelings.

Wordlessly, he takes her hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Malcolm and Edrisa arrive the house is more crowded than before. JT is by the doorway with Ainsley and Dani sharing the couch. Gil has made coffee for everyone, certain that it will be a long night all around. They all look relieved to see them but Gil reads it on his face before anyone else.

“You found something.”

“Hooooo, did I find something.” Edrisa lingers next to him, unsure if she should stay or go. She decides on the former when Ainsley scoots on the couch leaving room for her to sit on the end closest to where Malcolm still stood. “Is she awake?”

“Bright, is this a good idea?” Dani asks sitting up a little straighter. He notes that she’s in much more casual clothes, probably looking to rest before trading shifts with JT.

“Nope. But I think she knows who the killer is. And if I’m right?”

“Go. We’ll be right out here.” Ainsley nods, making the final decision.

He shifts the bag over his shoulder opening the door to the bedroom slowly. In the dim light streaming between the curtains he sees his mother sitting on the side of the bed, she’s got something in her hands but it’s too dark to make out.

“Mom?” Her head turns to him, her expression isn’t the blank unreadable one from earlier. No, she looks relieved that he’s back. The news twists uneasily in his stomach as he shuts the door behind him. “Can I ask you a couple of questions?” He doesn’t really expect her to answer. But when her breathing doesn’t pick up or really make any uncomfortable movements he takes it as permission.

He grabs a chair sliding it so that he can sit across from her. Closer he can see how tired she is. Her breakdown likely didn’t help but she definitely didn’t fall asleep at any point in time since she got back.

“Stop me if you need to, ok?” She blinks at him so he continues. “Why did you go see him?” He treads lightly, testing the waters first. An annoyed expression passes over her face but she doesn’t shift or startle. He digs in the duffel he brought along pulling out the bag of tea. “Is this why?”

When her eyes land on the bag she takes a shuddering breath, it’s confirmation enough. 

“This was the tea he used to make.” She blinks back the tears, correct again. “This is why you visited him. The killer made you the same tea, you knew he had something to do with all of this.” Her lower lip wobbles but she holds herself tightly wound. “He knew who did this.” The first tear that slides down her cheek makes him feel like the worst. “Do you want me to stop?” She shakes her head, almost imperceptibly. Her hand unfolds and in it is a crumpled note. He takes it, slowly as not to startle her into shutting back down.

Just like you like.

“Did the killer write this?” A nod. Malcolm takes a breath trying not to be frustrated that she kept this from them. Had they known they would have questioned his father so much sooner. The information she knew, it’d be common knowledge. “Thank you.” He says instead, taking her hand and enclosing it in both of his. She’d held his shaking hand like this countless amounts of times, her fingers stroking the back of his hand in the same way he mimics now. “I need you to tell me what he told you.” She starts, but doesn’t pull away. “Please.”

Her voice is deep, more tonal than he’s ever heard come from her. He almost thinks he imagines it. It’s too low to understand what she says.

“What?”

“He’s a cop.” Her eyes meet his, glassy from unshed tears. He smiles at her sadly, too caught up in the fact that his mom is back before the gravity of her words hits him full force.

Oh.

Shit.

[laracroftsleatherjacket]

Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)

(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)

Alisons: Sexuality? 

     Gay af (ace lesbean)

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

     Waman (she/they)

Amaryllis: Birthday?

     November 2nd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

     Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

     As of right now, stranger things duh

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

     Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

     "The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

     Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

     Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now

Baneberries: Favorite song?

     Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

     My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

     My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah

Begonia: Favorite color?

     Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

     Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

     Night!

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

     Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

     A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

     I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

     Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea 

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

     I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

     I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

     Very happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

     Always wanted to visit Norway

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

      Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

     I have 6 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

     Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings   

California Poppy: Height?  

     5′2 or maybe a little less

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

     Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? 

     Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots  

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

     Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

     Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

     Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

     Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?

Columbine: Are you tired?

     Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

     Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!

Coneflower: Dream job?

     Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

     Introvert for sure

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

     Oh repeat question, hell yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

     Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

     Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

     Scorpio

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

     I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

     My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

     Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

     You! This morning uwu

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

     uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

     bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

     a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

     Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

     Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

     Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

     My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

     Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

     Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

     uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf 

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

     Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

     I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

     uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

     My gf uwu and my mem

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

     probably like less than 10 

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

     I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

     ??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

     Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person     

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

      I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

     I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

     I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

     Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

     Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

     My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

     Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

     For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

    It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

     I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

     I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

     I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.

Peony: What was your first job?

     I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?

     Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no.  I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes      

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

     Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol

Pink: Where is home?

    I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

     Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

     My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

     To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

     God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

     My girlfriend and my mom

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

    My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

     To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

     Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

     Any of my loved ones and my cat 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

     I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

     Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

      I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

     Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. 

     mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

     Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

     Final exams and graduation

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

     0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

    Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

     Unfortunately

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

     I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me

(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)

(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)

[educxtional]

I was really struggling this week. Working way too hard, skipping breaks and meals, not staying hydrated, not showering, not taking my meds. it was bad. even at the busiest times, self-care is so so important. if I needed help, then I'm probably not the only one. all of these lil ideas are small and relatively easy and I highly doing something nice for yourself, even if it’s not on the list. hope you all have a wonderful day/week/year. 

(my personal favourites in bold)

drink some cold water

wash your hands and face with cool water

make some tea

get a blanket and snuggle it around you

snuggle an animal/stuffed animal

buy your favorite candy from the gas station

close your eyes and listen to your fav song on repeat for 10 mins

put on some throwback jams (high school musical, mamma mia, 90s, u do u) and dance around ur room in ur undies 

make a calming playlist

call a friend/relative just to say hi and hear someone else’s voice

rewatch cute/funny/happy clips from ur fav tv show/band/movie on youtube

put on a skirt and twirl (yes boys/agenders/trans u can do this too)

scribble really hard with black pen on a blank page and scream

look at the sky/moon/sunset/sunrise/stars

write

watch kitten/puppy/small animal live streams on youtube

go outside, even if its just by ur front door, and take some deep breaths

eat something - fruit, veggies are best

change ur contacts/clean ur glasses if you wear those

change your underwear

if u can't get urself to shower, wash off w a damp washcloth/baby wipe

put on a cute/comfy outfit that makes you feel good about urself

dont put eye makeup on so you can rub your eyes & they wont feel heavy

stretch, do some yoga or meditate

get a breathing/meditation app and use it (headspace is gr8)

take a nap

go to bed before 11 pm

brush your teeth

turn off bright harsh lights and use smaller, warmer lamps

unplug. give your eyes/brain a break from screens for a half hour

get one of those pet/family apps/games and care for someone else for a change

find cool people on tumblr and send them anonymous compliments (that you actually think are true - spread love)

find a quote, write it/print it nicely and stick it on ur wall

watch a new movie

boil some cinnamon sticks/vanilla bean for 5 mins so ur house smells pretty. if in ur room, use essential oil drops or candles

make your bed

vacuum 

wipe down ur desk w some disinfectant

clean something - a backpack, small area, fluff ur pillow, put away one shirt

do your makeup all pretty and nice just because/dress up just because

research into your dream job/vacation/city/whatever

open up pages/canva/photshop/etc and make something just for fun

build a fort and crawl under it

find an easy diy and do it/ be proud of ur creative genius

make a list of things that make you happy. stick it somewhere you’ll see it all the time

print a picture of someone/thing that’s pissing u off and throw things at it (tape it to a dart board if u have one)

reread a book that makes you happy

clip your nails, clean the dirt from under them

send some good old fashioned snail mail to someone u like just for fun

take some selfies if you’re feelin it (see #40)

fuzzy socks. enough said. 

make yourself a fancy meal/cocktail/coffee/tea latte/drink/whatevs

open ur window or put on a fan/air purifier. get some air circulating

draw, even if u think u suck. 

reach out to kids help phone (canada) or a suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone about more serious matters. you deserve help and care and support. (message me if you need resources)

donate to a local animal shelter (if u have the means obviously)

go for a walk/run/bike ride

put on a face mask

take a bubble path

shave ur legs and moisturize

moisturize 

bake some cookies

go on spotify/youtube and find some new music you love

make a really fun upbeat playlist for next time u get the aux cord

scroll through some wholesome or funny meme accounts. whatever you’re in the mood for. 

take some cool pictures of whatever you want

change up your room in any small ( or big) way that you can

teach urself a new skill on youtube (simple like a hair style, or complicated like an instrument, whatever u want)

sign up to volunteer at a library/homeless shelter/soup kitchen/retirement home/daycare center/etc. help those who need it. be giving. 

put on sad music and cry. let ur mascara run. be dramatic. let it out.

put rock music on and stomp and scream throw (soft) things. let it out. 

teach urself the words to a fast rap song thats cool right now so you can impress ur friends/classmates/family

print off some kid colouring pages and dont stay inside the lines

brush your hair, take it out of a ponytail if its been like that for a while, or put it up if its down and in ur way

diy a hair mask (coconut oil) and do that

exfoliate ur whole body and feel like a whole new person

clear out ur phone/laptop. delete old messages, numbers of people u dont like/hang out with, get rid of photos of shitty friends, apps u dont use, etc

find cards against humanity online (or if u have it use the cards) and play with urself - make funny matches just because

empty a drawer (or multiple) and fold ur stuff neatly

do something that will make u sweat (gym, dance, clean) then take a nice shower

take a second to listen to ur body. unclench muscles that are clenched, fix ur poster, massage/stretch tight areas

move to a different area of the house for a little while. clear ur head. 

go out, anywhere. window shop, go to a coffee shop/library and work. people watch if ur broke. 

update your planner

make Pinterest board/real life vision of things that make you happy for when in this situation again

find a youtuber you like and watch their videos

lie on the floor, listen to music and do nothing for a while

give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and then stand like superman for a few mins. sounds silly but it works. its called powerposing. look it up. 

repeating this bc important: hydrate!!!

start a new tv show

order something online so u have something to look forward to

go sit with a family member and keep them company. u dont have to talk to them. 

the app ‘trump dump’ will make u feel better about the current us political situation

read happy news: find stories of students doing something cool, women kicking ass, men being amazing, whatever. bonus points if this inspires u

sort your garbage from recycling and help the environment

smile at people you see just because. smiling is good and nice. 

look at old pictures of u and ur fav people

go through old yearbooks and take a second to appreciate how far you’ve come

go to a park and watch kids play. remember what it’s like to be young. realize you are still young. go on the swings and go as high as u can

play in a sandbox just because u still can

xo soph

[lesbiancarat]

Book anon here and I am happy to let out a sigh of relief from the new update pledis gave! I found out last night from some friends and can be less worried now. Am happy this has all been very mature from all sides so for once, we can give kudos to pledis for doing a good job lol (at the end they said in the statement they are looking to investigate more which im happy to hear they aren't wrapping things up just yet and want everything to be cleared up) but this also means the boys are back online!! The way I squealed in happiness dbamdban also a new jun photoshoot!? In front of my salad!? (Yes I used this old meme shhh)

Very much agreed, I admit I had that feeling of guilt of even listening to some svt songs during the rocky weeks because like oncant help but sit there and just remember what had occurred BUT we shouldn't feel bad for liking the boys as you said. Its natural to feel upset or confused when you are a fan and hear something your favs have done isn't ok. Especially if they made you happy. As you said just because some fans still listened to them, made content, miss them and etc does nOT mean we aren't focused on the bigger issues, doesn't mean we weren't ignoring anything ya know? We could do both i think c: (it comes down to i think how fans react from it i.e. do they cause drama more or do they just keep calm)

Oof its a love/hate relationship with the internet bc like you have the issue of reposting so content creators have to worry about that BUT you have the internet which can help get peoples work get noticed and I love that. The amount of beautiful art I saw on Tumblr alone is amazing! For rythym hive, time will tell. I'm worried we won't get pristin, after school and other last pledis artists because it would make sense to just use active artists from a buisness perspective but we have no word just yet. They probably are talking behind the scenes to make some stuff finalized, I mean bighit is doing a rebranding for bighit labels (to clarify, from what I understand is its not bighit themselves changing their names just the bighit artists label name because alot of people got confused with it. Meaning bighit is still bighit just the artists under bighit labels is named hybe. Pledis is still pledis and source is still source just they are now under the hybe name) so this also is going to take some time im guessing

Welp enough of me rambling, I shall get going but here is your daily reminder to eat some yummy food and to stay safe! *skips away*

yes, I'm glad pledis has been handling this well and that we get to see the boys again!

the loading u photoshoot was beautiful! we've actually gotten so much jun content so far this year despite the unofficial hiatus ;-;

and yeah while there were a lot of Carats that took some sort of "neutral" route (this could mean a lot of different things, but just generally ppl who decided to wait for more info before having an extreme reaction either way), there were enough people saying that the right thing to do was to condemn mg right away that it painted those who were doing anything less as bad. (there were also, to be fair, people defending mg blindly, who also made out those remaining "neutral" to be bad. although i think those were in the minority)

from my understanding it's Bighit co. ltd that's being renamed? aka the bigger company that encompasses bighit labels and Bighit entertainment as well as a bunch of other things like weverse. so Bighit entertainment and bh labels will still be called the same, but the broader company everything's under is being renamed to HYBE. there's a chance I'm wrong! but i guess we'll find out once they actually change the name and we'll see what changes and what doesn't dhfjfh i think after it's actually changed it will make things a lot easier though bc there's currently three entities with the name Bighit but afterward it /should/ only be two (the entertainment company and bh labels)

i hope you're doing well anon!

[kilgodarchive]

guys i just...i still have some birthday messages in my askbox and like i don’t mean to get cliche bc this is like a super fun day and like i’ve been getting to talk with all y’all but like...i’m so fucking emotional rn??? i was talking abt this with a few of my friends this morning when i woke up at the fucgkin ASS CRACK OF DAWN but i just. usually shit happens in my life prior to my birthday and it’s been pretty consistently for the last 7-8 years or so bc anyone who knows anything abt my own personal experiences is gonna know that i’ve had really, really, really shitty friends. and i’ve had some shitty, shitty, shitty ass times on this website and some of them i did myself bc i hated myself so much and had so many image issues and just...i look at where i am now and the people i’ve met and the people i get to talk to from today onwards and it makes me so...like i’m deadass gonna fuckign cry and i wanted to make a big thing but i’m so fucking tired and i just...i just want you all to know how much i love you all and how fuckign much i honest to god care about you and the people who have??? been there for me??? like??? three years ago i would never have fuc gkin given my MOBILE to people id met on tumblr and now i run chats w a small handful and i just feel so...i feel so blessed and i just hope y’all know how much u make my heart fucking hurt in all the absolute best ways. i want so badly to sit down and draft every single name an url of the people who have ever been by my side but i’d like to not gift myself a headache and a roundabout case of anxiety from worrying abt the names i forgot and trying to add them all in aND ITS NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE YOU BECAUSE HO MY GOD DO I FUCKING LOVE YOU, but there are some key people that i just...i really need to thank today.

@properlycool​ jack...buddy...my fucking nemesis of nemesi...you’re the first person i ever started talking to outside of tumblr and i still can’t decide as to whether it was the best or worst decision of my life lmaooooooo. for reals tho, i fuckgin??? love u??? you’ve been such a light in my life and such an amazing creative inspiration and writing partner to the point that @baddydoctor​ literally would not exist without you, and neither would my fucgkin feels because you STOMPED THEM OUT AT LIKE 2:00 A.M. WITH THE FUC KIN GALLIFREY TRIP FUCK U AN UR SALTY ASS GALLEY FRIES THAT I’M ALWYAS GONNA SHARE WITH YOU SO HAND ME A FUCKGIN PLATE!!!!!1!!!!! most esteemed lady emma elizabeth aster out *mic drop*

@abittangledup​ fu cgkin l00zer. deadass wakin me up at noon to scream at me abt a Very Important Jessica Jones Newsbreak that i didn’t even register until like TEN MINUTES AFTER YOU WOKE ME UP GJAKLFDSAF im a fuckgin hot mess in the morning but its...it’s so weird and it’s so cool that i’ve ended up talking on the phone with you the longest and screaming FUCK really loudly at each other and venting about shit and the fact that i’m still waiting for my drunk phone call at 3:00 am scuse u flkdjaglksa leading me on this waY but for reals tho???? fuck dude i just...i love you a lot and i’m amazed you’ve wanted to write shit with me like you literally kno the fuckin meme i am how are you still h eRE????!?!??!?!?!??!? but because you’re here please don’t ever leave ok? i’m constantly praying for you that you’re ok at work and that you’ll pass your tests like the total boss you are and i love you so, SO fuckign much dude.

@kintsukis​ ht i s mot he rufc ker. h t IS  MOTHE RFUC GKINER RI GHT HE RE bich i’m gonna fight all ur depression goblins one by fuCKIGN ONE THEY CAN ALL COME THE FUCK AT ME RIGHT NOW I’M READY TO GO THEY CAN CATCH MY CHARLIE DAY HANDS FJDGSALKJFDSA again tho like, for the reals? you’re a fucking starshine. i wake up sometimes an see ur wiggles or ur smanches an i die a little bit inside bc you deserve the actual fucking world and i am just...so glad i was able to make you laugh and help you to calm down on one of the shittiest days i’ve seen in awhile and that you trusted me to do that and sat through my meme ass verbally makin doinks on the phone like what the shit??!!??!? you fuckin all-star. hey hey now. getcha game face on.

@timmgutterson​ / @gotitmemorised​ u fuc gkin weasel worming ur way onto this list sO FUCKIGN DESERVEDLY??? you are literally the victor to my ophelia, the axlotl to my david haller an i die bc you are just...fUCK DUDE UR SO FUCKIGN TALENTED LIKE EVERYONE ON THIS LIST IS BUT LIKE DUDE....DUDE YOU’RE SO GOOD AT THE WRITING THING IM MAD....except i literally cannot ever be mad at u bc i picture lil darling ophelia morningstar an i die a little bit inside and basically i’d crack open a couple of juiceboxes with you anyday. our time zones are whack but if anything it just makes it all the more spicy aight. i just....and like i feel this way abt everyone but i just feel like there aren’t enough words to describe the love i have for you? like i’d trust u with my hands. it only sounds weird because it is, but so am i. i’m weird. fuckgin deal. and i love you. so double deal.

@cutiecxbe ok i LEGITIMATELY donut have the words i wish i did for you, the way you literally kickstarted a new chapter in my life so i could flip the paiGE HAHAHA I SPECIFICALLY WORKED UP TO THIS MY LIFE IS COMPLETE I HAD TO MAKE THAT PUN AT LEAST ONCE OK I MEan like that joke is probably my fav of urs ok thtas ur fckin contact name in my phone is flip the paige an idk if ur workin with the doggos atm but god i just...like God literally put you in my life for such a reason and you have been there almost since the beginning of all the tumbles, which is so fuckgin ins a ne to think about, but you’re kind of the reason i still have my tenth doctor blog even now im literally sticking around for u in case the muse comes back but i just...god i really don’t have the words. i want to and i dont and i just.....i love you sm.

@springmother / @ahgodwinks / @secondsmiled / where even the fu gk are you wHERE ARE EITHER OF US ANYTIME LIKE GJDSLAKFDSAFA a spOok i e duo if ever there was one. the scully to my mulder, the mark to my jack, the underoos to my tony stank, the lenny to my david, the rhett to my link ( dude i swear to god it’s literally us u need to watch the brosectomy it’s us but with dicks ), the matthew fuckgi n campbell to my timothy james LITERALLY THE ANYTHING TO MY OTHER ANYTHING OK LIKE....DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I FUGKIN LOVE YOU. WILL YOU EVER UNDERSTAND. WILL I MYSE  FL EVER UNDERSTAND. PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY NEVER. BUT YOU ARE SUCH....DUDE WE HAVE SEEN SOME MTOHERUCKIN SH I T TOGETHER AND I’M JUST SO FUC KGIN PROUD OF YOU AND I’M SO HUMBLED BY YOU AND IM JUST...I’M AMAZED UR THE ONE I GET TO CALL BEST FRIEND THE WAY I DO, AND I JUST....GJSKAFDSALFKJSAGSA goddamnit i just cu gkin love u sm you are so important in my life never change ever at all ur not allowed and ur litERALLY STUCK WITH ME UR THE ONLY IRL FRIEND NOT MOVIN AWAY SO GET READY 2 FILE FOR RESTRAINING ORDER BC IM GONNA GROW ON ALL UR MENTAL WINDOWS AND PROBABLY ACTUAL WINDOWS LIKE A FUCKGIN FUNGUS YOU WILL N O T PRY ME AND UR JUST!!!! GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT IM NOT CRYIGN U ARE

[imagine-ikebukuro]

tagged in a few things

more under the cut!

92 truths meme

Tagged by: @glitzcake​ thank u!

LAST…

[1] Drink: orange juice

[2] Phone call: a friend of mine, annika

[3]Text message: my brother

[4] Song you listened to: this remix, i’m obsessed with it lately!

[5] Time you cried: aw shit, a few days ago? last weekend? idk man

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: no

[7] Been cheated on: nope

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: yup

[9] Lost someone special: kind of? but… more in a sense of drifting apart rather than someone passing away

[10] Been depressed: not diagnosed, but i’m pretty sure my mental health is not at its best at all

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes and not only once either

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] grey!

[13] turquoise!

[14] burgundy!

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] IN THE LAST YEAR…

[16] fallen out of love: nah

[17] laughed until you cried: pretty sure

[18] found out someone was talking about you: people be talking shit 24/7 and all i gotta say about it: I DON’T CARE AS LONG AS IT’S ABOUT ME

[19] met someone who changed you: mhhhh, no not really

[20] found out who your true friends are: definitely!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeeeaaah? could’ve been in 2015, my sense of time is terrible Dx

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% of people, 5% others are friends i’ve known for several months or years over the internet and 5% are random people or some “celebrities” i found lmao

[23] do you have any pets: no, sadly not ;;

[24] do you want to change your name: i’m fine with my name, tbh!

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went to the museum and ate sushi with my family and a few weeks later had a party with my friends

[26] what time did you wake up: today? 8am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching youtube videos

[28] name something you cannot wait for: to finally be accepted to college and not being nervous about applying for university and everything, but have it all sorted out

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: she’s sitting in the same room as me right now

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: if i could go back in time, i would do anything to have my father and i get along properly today

[31] what are you listening to right now: a zelda remix playlist

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: actually, yes, i had a huge crush on someone named tom, he was two classes above me during middle school

[33] something that is getting you nervous: the thought of me getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, ugh. also, general organization and planning shit, like applying for college, moving out of my hometown, living on my own very soon, being forced to meet new people, all that jazz.

[34] most visited website: i guess tumblr? even though, lately, it’s probably youtube

[35] elementary: 2004 - 2008

[36] high school: graduated last year

[37] college: i can apply for my first semester next week. if i’m accepted, i’ll start going there in fall this year.

[38] hair color: i’m a ginger, so red-brown

[39] long or short hair: short! i cut it into an undercut like almost 2 years ago

[40] do you have a crush on someone: no, i avoid that shit

[41] what do you like about yourself: my eye color?

[42] piercings: i literally got zero piercings, not even on my ears, but i wish i had an industrial piercing and i used to really want flesh tunnels, maybe i’ll get there eventually

[43] blood type: i actually don’t know :^)

[44] nickname: some people call me lilly, some call me li. the villagers in my animal crossing town call me ukeprince, wot

[45] relationship status: married to the neighbour’s cat which i saw from my window and went out for just to pet it about 500 times by now

[46] zodiac sign: virgo!

[47] pronouns: they/them, she/her, he/him

[48] fav tv show: at the moment i’m watching PLL (but i don’t like it at all so rip) my favorite’s gotta be buffy the vampire slayer!

[49] tattoos: none yet

[50] right or left hand: right handed

FIRST…

[51] surgery: i had surgery in my mouth last year and like mentioned above, i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, if that counts

[52] piercing: none

[53] best friend: she’s not even active on tumblr anymore, rip, her name’s lydia though IF YOU READ THIS, THEN HELLO MY BRO

[54] sport: i’m planning to swim regularly again after recovering and healing up from surgery

[55] vacation: if it counts, my first ever “vacation” was the music festival Rock im Park 2013 with my father and a good friend of mine

[56] pair of trainers: no clue

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: orange juice

[59] i’m about to: maybe get to playing some loz: botw

[60] listening to: still the loz remix playlist

[61] waiting for: anxious feelings to pass

[62] want: a huge cup of coffee

[63] get married: nopedy nope, i don’t fixate myself on wishing to get married. if it happens, it happens and i’ll be happy about it, but if not, then that’s cool on my terms, too!

[64] career: i’m working on becoming a teacher (i want to teach german, english and ethics in high schools)

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: honestly, it depends, but generally, i’d say hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyessss

[67] shorter or taller: i don’t care, both is nice

[68] older or younger: as long as it’s pretty close to my age, i don’t mind

[69] romantic or spontaneous: neither LMAO if i had to chose, romantic, bc i’m as spontaneous as a potato, i gotta plan ahead, bruh

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: stomach! and by that i mean any kind of stomach! ripped af or soft, i’m weak.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: a nice balance between the two would be cool. let’s be real though, troublemakers always catch my eye, even though i’m quickly annoyed by them just as well wtf is wrong with me

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: no

[75] drank hard liquor?: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no wtf i’d be walking around half blind

[77] turned someone down: yes

[78] sex on first date?: no

[79] broken someone’s heart?: apparently so

[80] had your own heart broken?: at the time i think i would’ve called it that, but honestly, it wasn’t that horrible, so nah?

[81] been arrested?: no

[82] cried when someone died?: yeah

[83] fallen for a friend?: do lowkey crushes count in which you gush over how amazing someone is? platonic crushes? it’s a thing.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i used not to, but lately i’m more confident i think!

[85] miracles?: not really

[86] love at first sight?: no

[87] Santa Claus?: no

[88] kiss on the first date?: sure

[89] angels?: no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Lydia

[91] eye color: greyish-green (if i cry or sometimes late at night they’re really GREEN!)

[92] favorite movie: nightmare before christmas!

10 questions ask game.

tagged by @peacefuldesires​ thx!

What things make you smile and all warm-fuzzy inside? CATS no seriously, i can have the worst day, but when i walk home and get to pet a cat on the way, i instantly better. i remember coming home after my last final exam all upset and a cat meowing at me and purring and wanting to cuddle with me and i couldn’t help but smile!

What things make you feel a bit sad (don’t push yourself to answer this one)? my current family situation, there’s a bit of drama and fights going on.

What things inspire you to grow? anything and everything, to be honest. there’s new things you experience and learn every single day. things you conquer and master just fine and mistakes you make and all of them shape you into knowing what to do next time a bit more.

The last song(s) that you couldn’t stop listening to? i can’t really think of anything right now, uhhhh, i’ve been listening to the trust me durarara!! ending lately again haha

5. Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert? What kind (are you a shy extrovert, super confident introvert, or perhaps a really confused ambivert :0)?: i’m an introvert through and through. i wouldn’t say i’m exceptionally shy nor super confident. i’m somewhere in between. it really depends, around my friends i’m outgoing and cheering and with certain strangers, especially if i know i have to talk with them for literally no longer than 3 minutes right now (i.e. a cashier or someone you walk past) then i’m polite and rather talkative. i just feel exhausted even after spending a lot of time with friends, though the time was enjoyable, but i need my alone time for sure.

What calms you down? the triangle breath! it’s my favorite method to use whenever i feel anxious, upset, angry, or just need to stop and pause for a few minutes. you picture a triangle in your mind (you can even trace it with your finger, or if you can draw it on a piece of paper). you take a breath in through your nose, tracing one side of the triangle. then you breathe out through your mouth, tracing the second and third side of it. other than that, listening to music, taking a nap, petting a cat, watching videos of cats or other cute stuff, sometimes playing a video game.

A character that you really relate to (perhaps you have similar personalities, or maybe you came from similar backgrounds)?: this is gonna sound trashy, but saeyoung choi from mystic messenger and there’s a story behind it too. my friends were playing it way before me and told me “there’s this character that looks just like you, you know nerd glasses, messy red hair, always wearing a baggy black hoodie. he even acts like you, making puns and using memes ALL THE TIME!” and it’s true lmao. also, kaneki ken to some extent? like i really resonate with his personality, the choices he makes, his thoughts speak to me, he’s pretty harsh on himself and goes through ways that are self destructive if he can help others with it.

One thing you love learning? language, it’s just fascinating to me.

Angst or fluff? ANGST, I AM THE ANGST QUEEN, COME ON

If you punch yourself, does that mean you’re strong or does that mean you’re weak? neither and a little bit of both at the same time. let’s go deep in on this one and take the “punch” as emotional self loathing. bashing yourself down definitely doesn’t mean you’re strong, it doesn’t make you tough at all, it only means you’re harsh on yourself. it doesn’t make you weak either. you’re making yourself believe you are weak, but the fact that you endure that and still have the power to do so, means you’re tougher than you’re think.

MY QUESTIONS:

Now that spring’s here, what’s your favorite thing about this season and what do you not like about it?

What’s your spirit animal? Literally. Which animal do you think resembles your inner self and why? (maybe your Patronus, if you know it?

What’s your go-to order at a café?

Do you consider yourself to be creative?

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? If so, what? If not, why?

Where do you see yourself in 20 years from now?

Home sweet home, what makes you feel comfortable in your own home? What’s the overall aesthetic of your room, any colors, textures, an atmosphere, do you maybe keep many stuffed animals or posters or plants?

What do you think is most important when it comes to friendship?

What’s something you improved in since last year?

Werewolves or Vampires, which are cooler?

I tag: @imagine-your-party-hosts​ || @obsessivefujoshi​ || @dotaccino​ || @mollyxmousey​ || anyone who wants to do this