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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)

a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!

as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.

Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.

In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.

You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.

“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.

“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.

“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.

“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”

“Can I decide that too?”

“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”

“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.

“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.

“Go ahead.”

“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”

You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.

“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.

Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.

“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.

You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.

“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.

“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.

Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.

“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.

“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.

“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”

“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.

“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”

“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”

“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”

“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.

“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.

Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.

“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”

“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”

“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”

“No worries.”

“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”

“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”

“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”

“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”

“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”

“Harry, hi!”

“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.

“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.

“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.

“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.

“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”

“But what about Izzy?”

“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.

“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”

“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.

You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.

Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.

You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.

“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.

“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.

“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.

The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.

“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.

“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.

Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”

“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.

Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.

“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.

“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”

“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.

“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”

“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.

“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.

“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.

“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.

“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.

“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.

“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.

They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.

“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.

“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.

“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”

“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.

“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”

You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.

“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.

“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.

“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.

“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”

Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.

“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.

“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.

“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.

“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.

“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.

“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.

“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.

“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.

“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.

“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.

“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.

The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.

“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.

“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.

“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.

“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.

“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.

“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.

“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.

“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.

“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.

The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.

You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.

You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.

It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.

You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.

“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.

“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”

“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.

“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”

“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”

You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.

“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.

“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.

“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.

“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.

“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.

Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.

“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.

“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.

“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.

They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.

“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.

“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.

You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…

Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.

You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.

“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.

“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.

“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”

She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.

“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.

“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”

As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?

You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.

“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”

“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.

“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.

“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.

“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“

“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.

Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.

“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.

Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.

“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.

“What was all that about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”

“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.

Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.

“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”

“Oh, you have kids?”

“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.

“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”

“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”

“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”

“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.

“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”

“That’s cute.”

“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.

“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.

“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.

“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.

“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.

“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“

“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”

It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.

“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.

“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”

“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.

“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.

“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”

“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.

“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.

“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”

“So Niall sees it too, huh?”

“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”

“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.

“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”

Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.

He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.

“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”

Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.

“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”

Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.

But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…

After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.

You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.

“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.

“You too!”

“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.

“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.

You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.

Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.

When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.

“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.

“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.

“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”

“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.

“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”

“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”

“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.

Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.

“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.

Because you wanted him to kiss you.

The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.

Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.

Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.

You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.

As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.

You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.

But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.

Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.

Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.

Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.

“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”

You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.

Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!

You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”

“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.

“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.

“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.

“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.

Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two… five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?

Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.

You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.

Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.

You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.

Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.

“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”

“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”

“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.

“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”

“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.

“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”

“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.

“I don’t. Now leave.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.

“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”

“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.

“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”

“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.

“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”

Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.

It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.

You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it’s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.

Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.

Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.

In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.

“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.

“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.

“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!

“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.

“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.

“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”

“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”

“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”

Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.

“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”

You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.

“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”

“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.

“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.

“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.

“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”

“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.

Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.

Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.

Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.

The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.

Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“

You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.

And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.

You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.

“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.

“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.

“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.

Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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yslkook · 4 years ago

Text

BORDERSZ (4)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook accompanies you on your journey to purchase a brand new car. jimin charms your pants off (or attempts to) and sora has a proposal for you that you don't quite say no to. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, kinda toxic friendship

It takes about two weeks for Jungkook to understand exactly what kind of car you were looking for- essentially a sturdy vehicle that would get you from point A to point B without fail. Something reliable, would last for years and years, something efficient. Not necessarily anything fancy or luxurious.

But Jungkook had finally got you to shyly confess that you wouldn’t mind having heated seats in your car. After all, it had been something you’d dreamed of ever since you had received your driver’s license-

“Nothing else? Just heated seats?” Jungkook implores curiously as he pours over your meticulous binder for the fifth time. Honestly, you didn’t really need his help. You already knew what you were doing. His presence at the dealership will probably ensure that you’re not getting scammed, if anything. He loves his friends (two of them being his roommates), but he knows the truth about how they make their sales.

Mei and Mina call them sleazy car salesmen for a reason after all.

“It’s not ‘just’ heated seats!” You protest, “We never had the money for cars with heated seats when I was growing up. So that’s what I want.”

“How about leather heated seats?” Jungkook suggests, “Leather seats have better ventilation-”

“Oh, I know,” You say matter-of-factly.

“Of course you do. Smart ass.”

It feels incredibly domestic, walking into Namjoon’s car dealership together with Jungkook. Shoulder to shoulder, hopping off of his motorcycle together. He had taken it upon himself to purchase a second helmet, despite your insistence that you would pay for one.

But he had told you not to get a big head, that the helmet wasn’t for you specifically. That he needed a second helmet anyway, and you joining him on the motorcycle more and more as of recently was just the impetus for him to purchase one.

So you say nothing when it’s clear that he had bought the helmet with you in mind- it’s a sleek, glossy lilac color. A similar shade of lilac as your phone case, your favorite small backpack, and your work notebook.

You say nothing about it, only keeping your small smile to yourself.

Of course it’s Jimin who immediately jumps up to offer you assistance today. He gives Jungkook a Cheshire grin, mischief dancing in his eyes. Not that you would know otherwise.

He knows Jimin won’t let him live this down. At least Taehyung might have a little more tact than Jimin.

“So are you both looking for a vehicle together?” Jimin asks once you’re both seated in the comfortable leather seats in front of his desk, when in fact he knows damn well that you’re not.

“Huh? N-no, I’m looking for a car. Jungkook is helping me out,” You say, your face heating up at the implication. Isn’t Jimin one of his roommates?

Jungkook’s tongue pokes his cheek. You notice.

“I’m here to make sure that you or Taehyung don’t scam her,” Jungkook says, “Where’s Joon? He’s less...annoying than you.”

“Joon can’t even drive a fucking car. He has no business trying to sell them,” Jimin says swiftly.

“Er,” You interrupt softly, “Isn’t he your boss? He owns the entire dealership, doesn’t he?”

Jungkook stifles a laugh at your presumed innocence. You offer a slick smile to Jimin when he scoffs in amusement.

“Yes,” Jimin says, “So tell me. How can I make your dreams come true?”

If Jungkook wasn’t with you, you think you would’ve fallen victim to Jimin’s charms long ago. He’s nice, a little flirty and funny. But helpful. You can see how someone might end up paying more than they’d need to with Jimin being their car salesman.

You listen to every word Jimin says, taking notes in a specific section of your binder with your favorite black ballpoint pen. You need to have all the information at your fingertips before making a big decision, no matter what it is. Jungkook had teased you for it at first, but he’s become accustomed to your thought process.

Jimin has shown you at least five different types of models of cars ranging from sedans to SUVs. In theory, they all fit the bill. But you haven’t really felt the connection with any of them.

Jimin is nothing if not patient, though.

“I’m sorry,” You say, “I know I’m being meticulous. You must be annoyed.”

“It’s my job, sweetheart,” Jimin shrugs, “Besides, you can repay me with your phone number maybe, huh?”

“That doesn’t sound like an ethical business practice,” You say flatly while Jungkook glares at Jimin (who only smirks at him in return), “You already have it. From when I made the appointment.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“You wish,” You roll your eyes, “Does every one of your clients get this treatment or is it just me?”

“Nah, it’s just anyone who catches Jungkookie’s eye,” Jimin winks at you and Jungkook is about to strangle his roommate. Perhaps he should put an ad out for a new roommate, considering he might kill his current one in the next five minutes.

“O-oh,” You falter, cheeks blazing at this point, “Can we look at a few more? I’m gonna use the restroom really quickly. Maybe even grab a coffee.”

“Sure, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Will you fuckin’ stop it? I can’t believe you,” Jungkook hisses, “We’re literally at your workplace and you’re putting the moves on her-”

“Oh, will you relax,” Jimin says breezily, “I’m just seeing if she’ll take the bait.”

“There’s no reason for that shit,” Jungkook says, glaring at his friend, “Cut it out.”

“I like her,” Jimin says, as if he hadn’t spoken, “She’s cute.”

“Back off,” Jungkook says, “And while we’re at it, just for you being an ass. You’re gonna give her heated seats for free.”

Jungkook watches your eyes light up at the car that Jimin is currently telling you about. He can already tell from your wide eyes and soft, excited smile that this is the one. You’re already running the checklist through your head, physically looking at your notes as Jimin easily answers your questions.

“Can I take her for a test drive?” You ask Jimin and he somehow produces a set of keys for the exact model from his pocket.

“I knew this would be the one…” Jimin says as he takes you to the parking lot to grab the test car. Jungkook rolls his eyes in fondness and heads off to find his other roommate, Taehyung. And to say hello to his friend, Namjoon.

“It suits you,” Jimin says once you’d taken the car out for a drive and brought it back safely.

“You think so?” You ask, giving the keys back to him, “I bet you say that to everyone.”

“Only when I mean it, sweetheart,” Jimin winks at you.

“How lucky for me,” You mutter under your breath, “So...what are the next steps?”

“I bring out the contract, you sign it, and you take your new car home,” Jimin says confidently.

“Yeah,” You say dreamily and look outside to the car in longing. You’ve done the homework, done the research. Went through this logically and meticulously. Even if the car does start depreciating the minute you step out of the dealership… You want it. It checks all of the boxes, you know you’ll get your money’s worth from it.

But before you give Jimin the okay to draw up the contracts, you want to tell Jungkook. You spot him talking to Taehyung, his bunny smile on display (which makes you smile in turn) and excuse yourself from Jimin for a minute to go after Jungkook.

“Hi,” You say and introduce yourself to Taehyung, who offers you a wide, boxy smile, “I’m gonna get it. The car, I mean. I love her.”

“She passed the vibe check?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah. She passed the vibe check.”

When you comb through the hefty contract with sharp eyes, Jungkook is somewhat amused to see the free of charge cost for the heated seats. Jimin only winks at him in response.

You can’t seem to find anywhere else where Jimin may be overcharging you, so you ask Jungkook to review it, too. And surprisingly, Jungkook finds nothing out of the ordinary. He knows how Jimin operates here, trying to gain any extra cent of commission that he can. Not that that’s a terrible thing.

“It’s yours, sweetheart,” Jimin says fifteen minutes later, once you sign your name on the dotted line.

“Really?” You let out an exhilarated laugh, adrenaline suddenly coursing through your veins, “Really, really?”

“Keys are yours, and someone will bring the car out front for you,” Jimin smiles, “Congratulations on your first car. I’m honored that you chose me to help you make this purchase.”

“Wouldn’t have had it any other way, Jimin,” You beam. After a moment of deliberation, “Oh, by the way- have fun on your date with Mina tonight. I heard all about it.”

Mischief dances in your eyes and Jimin’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he lets out a surprised laugh. Jungkook looks at you proudly- that’s what Jimin gets for being a menace.

Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders and walks you out of the dealership and you slowly wrap a tentative, shy arm around his waist. You both wait shoulder to shoulder for one of the dealership boys to bring your brand new car out front.

In the meantime, you try to pluck up the courage to ask Jungkook to have a drink with you after. To celebrate and to treat your friend for helping you out for the last few weeks. You bite your bottom lip in nervousness and Jungkook notices. He wants nothing more than to gently pull your bottom lip out of your own grip, but refrains from doing so.

But you realize, it’s Jungkook, this is your friend and the comforting, warm scent of laundry that envelopes you gives you a little courage.

“Do you want to grab a drink or something after this?” You ask softly, “I… wanted to treat you. For helping me the last few weeks with the car stuff.”

“C’mon, baby. You know I’ll never say no to a pretty girl buying me a drink,” Jungkook says, lips pulled apart into a sly smirk.

“Oh, that’s all I am to you? A pretty girl?” You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder playfully, despite the heat in your cheeks.

“Not at all,” Jungkook murmurs, tightening his hold around your shoulders and looking at you with sincerity dripping from his big, brown eyes, “You’re my pretty girl.”

If he didn’t have a strong arm around your shoulders, you’re certain you would’ve evaporated into the floor at his words.

The image of Jungkook smoking outside of the bar right under the glowing, purple neon lights is an image you haven’t seen very often. A strand of dark hair falls in front of his face as he lights his cigarette, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration.

Even from this distance, you can see the purse of his lips and the silver glint of rings on his fingers. It shouldn’t send a rush down your spine the way it does, but you won’t deny it. When it comes to Jungkook, you won’t deny your feelings. Or your attraction.

For some reason, a thought crosses your mind- you hadn’t told Sora that you had purchased a new car. Much less that Jungkook had helped you pick one out. But you push her from your mind easily, as if you’ve been doing the last few weeks. It’s been difficult for you to keep Jungkook out of your conversations with Sora- she always has a way of bringing him up more than not.

But it’s not just Jungkook she has a strong, stubborn opinion on. It’s everything these days- you had showed her cars that you were interested in and she had shot every one of them down, she always has something to say about your passion for work (or rather she never pays enough attention about it), and she even had something negative to say when you had timidly brought up that you were maybe thinking about another ear piercing.

You’re growing tired of it. You find yourself getting nervous around her, like you’re walking on eggshells around her. Even when she just texts you, your heart speeds up in anxiety. But at the same time, there is a voice in your head telling you not to upset her.

As if that’s somehow the worst thing that could ever happen. Objectively, you know Sora. You know she’s stubborn and loud in her opinions and always has to get her way. But at the core of it all, you want to believe that she has a good heart. Because if she doesn’t have a good heart… Then what were you doing this to yourself for? What were you surrounding yourself with all of this negativity for?

You can sense Jungkook’s dislike of her, even if he doesn’t outright say it. But you’re no idiot. Mina and Mei have been honest with you on their opinions of her. So has Yoongi and Hobi.

They all think she’s dragging you down and that you’ll spiral in her negativity if you don’t open your eyes. They’ve all had a few choice words for her, but you find yourself uneasy whenever the topic of Sora comes up.

The more you hear it, the more you wonder about your supposed best friend. But you push those sour thoughts away to focus on the man in your field of vision.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you approach him on unsteady feet.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jungkook mutters with the cigarette in between his lips when you get closer to get a good look at him.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” You reply, eyes subconsciously wandering to the cigarette. Your nose scrunches at the smell without you even realizing it.

“You look like my mom when she first saw me smoking,” Jungkook says bluntly.

“Your mom? You really wanna compare me to your mother?” You raise an eyebrow, “Don’t know what that says about you, Jungkook.” Jungkook lets out a surprised laugh at that.

“Shut up,” Jungkook rolls his eyes and peels himself off of the brick wall before putting his cigarette out and tossing it in the ashtray next to him, “I think you owe me a drink?”

Jungkook, you decide, is dangerous and warm all at once. The starry glint of his big, doe eyes throws you off more than once, leaving you either stammering over your words or choking on your drink when you try to reply to him.

The bar is quiet and nearly empty, only the sounds of faint music playing in the background to keep you both company. You’re both facing each other at the bar, knees touching ever so slightly.

Even that simple touch makes you feel warm all over.

Jungkook slides your drink towards you, a soft ‘thank you’ pushing itself out of your lips. You suppress a shiver when his ring clad fingers brush over yours, and he notices the way you tense up a little bit with his touch.

He appreciates the way the dim lights shine on your hair and illuminate the planes of your pretty face. He thinks it’s the perfect lighting for a photo of you- the dark colored jacket and your dark wash jeans blending into the colors of the bar around you. Something at the base of your neck glints as you turn to face him.

“Cheers, to your new car,” Jungkook murmurs, tipping his glass towards yours.

“Cheers to you for helping me,” You reply with a smile, clinking your drink with his.

“Pleasure’s all mine, baby,” Jungkook says, “You deserve it.”

“Deserve a vehicle that will have hardly any value in ten to fifteen years?”

“You deserve something for yourself,” Jungkook corrects, looking into your eyes as if he can see right through you. You’d told him how you had grown up with one car amongst a family of five, and how money was tight when you were younger. You were the eldest of three, and now that everyone was older, you had slowly started dipping your toes into the concept of having things for yourself.

You whisper a soft thank you and take a sip of your drink. “My parents were so excited about the car,” You say quietly, “Told them I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Oh? You told your parents about me?”

“Had to tell them about the man who got me heated seats for free,” You reply with a knowing grin, “You think I didn’t catch that?”

“Heated seats were the least Jimin could’ve done,” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

You wave him off, “I like him. I could see why him and Mina are good together. She told me they’ve had this weird on and off thing for, like, a year now? Like c’mon. Get it together.”

“Yeah. Don’t know why they keep denying the inevitable,” He says, voice full of something barely concealed.

“The inevitable?”

“They both have their issues but… They would make it work if they sorted themselves out,” He says softly, a tenderness to his eyes that makes your belly flip. You don’t know if he’s talking about Jimin and Mina or about… something else.

Something else being you and him.

“Maybe one of them is scared,” You whisper.

“They can work through it together,” Jungkook replies instantly. The air in between you both is charged, plush with tension and electricity. You look at him unsurely, with wide eyes, and god, if Jungkook doesn’t want to sweep you off of your feet and pull you in for a kiss.

“Jungkook, I-” You murmur, voice soft and deafening, silky like honey in his ears. The moment is right there, ripe for you, ripe for him...

And then your phone starts ringing, and Jungkook has never heard a worse sound. Your chest drops for a second when you see that it’s Sora calling you, and Jungkook has never felt as frustrated as he does right in this moment. Each significant moment of frustration over the past few months has Sora linked to it. He wonders if she has a radar for interrupting at the worst possible moments.

You give him an apologetic glance before answering the phone. She only calls if it’s important or if she needs you so you won’t risk it.

“H-hello-”

“You’ll never guess what I just did,” Comes Sora’s excited voice through the receiver. It’s too sugary, too sweet. You wince.

“What’s that?” You mumble, shoulders drooping.

“Got you a date for this Friday, you remember Yunho right?” She exclaims. If your heart wasn’t on the floor already, it certainly was by now. “He wants to take you out- he’s the lawyer, remember?”

“Y-yeah, I remember,” You say weakly, “But-”

Jungkook’s eyes flash at your suddenly dejected frown. That’s what Sora does- she takes you and she turns your happiness into something sad. It’s like she can’t stand to see you happy about something that doesn’t align with her “vision”.

“You can thank me later, babe,” Sora says cheerily. This time, you visibly cringe as you try to protest. Try to tell her that you don’t want a date with this man, that you only want a date with the man in front of you. But you can’t get the words out, she won’t listen and she hangs up on you before you can get a word in edgewise.

“Sorry about that,” You mutter.

“Why? She’s your friend. Not mine,” Jungkook says brusquely and you bristle at his bluntness.

You’re distracted for the rest of the evening, mind on another wavelength. He knows you’re upset, but he doesn’t push. He gets you to smile and laugh a few times, only for your eyes to turn sad right after.

Jungkook only wishes that you’d be able to see what was right in front of you.

TAGS: @kookdbean

MoM tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x you

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eeunoia · 4 years ago

Text

ENHYPEN Mini Series

E N H Y P E N as Vampires

pairings: jay park x reader

summary: you were obsessed to vampires not knowing you actually have on luring closely around you.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: a little spicy (keyword: little)

a/n: So after seeing black-haired Jay, I don’t know what else to feel. He really looked good! I mean, all of them looks so good. Oh my gosh, I don’t know. But I hope you enjoy this one. 🌸 (Taglist still open!)

taglist: @rubyanne, @izneos, @jung-breadshop @llamabouquet @eterniki @hwangjangmi @full-sannie @danyxthirstae01 @flowerjaem @dreamykkoo

“Oops. I’m sorry.” you politely said to the person you bumped into while holding some books over both of my arms. He glanced at you then decided to go back to what he was doing. You just shrugged it off and ignored it.

With a light bit to your lower lip you just continued your way back to where your table was. The table was already filled with a lot of books, you’re the only one occupying it but it seems like a group of friends were sitting there because of all the mess. You have a free period so you decided to spend your time here in the library, reading something about vampire.

“I knew I’ll find you here.” your head snapped upwards and a smile quickly spreads through your face at the sight of your friend in front of you.

He was gorgeous as always, Park Jay is in front of you, hair pushed back showing off that beautiful forehead of his. He was showing your his side-smirk while one of his hands was inside his pocket.

“Hi, I was just reading some stuff.” you said excitedly at him. He scoffed right at you didn’t really need to ask you what it was because he already knew what it is. There’s only one thing that makes you go crazy... vampires.

Jay sat down at the vacant chair beside you. He roamed his eyes around to all the different varieties of books at the table. There were thin ones and thick ones. All sort of those type of books you can see in a library.

“Can you even read all of these? I mean, there’s just too many.” Jay said sounding a bit concern as he even goes through some of the books. His face kind of made this unexplained expression as he see some weird stuff written over at the title of the book.

“So... I went here because Shan, is throwing a party later tonight. I was planning to invite you.” Jay said as he still kept looking through some of the books.

You don’t usually get along well with a lot of people. You only have few friends and Jay’s one of them. He figures it would be great to let you interact with real people instead of having you spend your night reading stuff like this. You glanced at him for a while.

“Sounds fun but I’ll pass. I have plans tonight.” you gave him a warm smile as you started flipping over at the pages of the book that you’re currently reading. You grabbed your small notebook to write down something new that you’ve just read.

Jay rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh, “What plan? To read and research about vampires again?” you weren’t that much surprise to heard it from him. If there's somebody who knew you well, it would be him. Although you don't know much about your dear friend, he knew almost everything about you. Almost... since he doesn't have an idea about your feelings for him.

"Yeah, you got that right." you smiled at him before you went back at reading once again. Furrowing your brows seriously, you tried hard to focus at the books instead of Jay's manly scent.

You've always known his scent ever since. There's just something about it that makes your head grew blank of any thoughts but him. It was like his trademark, makes you aware that he's around.

He snorted beside you then rolled his eyes before resting his hand over at the book you were reading. With a shooting glare, you glanced towards his direction.

"I have better plans so we should go with mine." he shoot you with those intimidating stares. You can't help but to gulp while you're admiring his beauty. He looked so intimidating and hot at the same time. No wonder, a lot of girls from your university were head over heels for him.

"Why do you even want to bring me there? You know how I hate parties and you're probably just gonna use me to avoid those girls." you rolled your eyes at him as you shoved away his hands. You grunted when he don't even moved his hands. How can he be so strong?

"You're kind of right about the girls things but the main reason was because I don't want to be all happy in that party while you're being miserable reading." he said and even smirked at you.

You pushed the side of your cheek with your tongue as you raise an eyebrow at him tilting your head over at the side. "And who said I'll be miserable while reading? I would probably enjoy my night." you said.

He chuckled and finally moved his hand away from your book only to wrap it around your shoulder to pull you closer to him. With a bright red tinted over at your cheeks, you tried hard to calm yourself down.

"C'mon don't be a bummer! I promise I'll go to the library tomorrow with you and you can read for as long as you want." he said whispering over at your ears making your heart beat faster every time his hot breath fans over at your ears and neck.

You tried hard to ignore your beating heart and focused with what he just said. Did he really just said that? Offered to go with you at the library? He never done that before and despise it whenever you asked him to join you. He really got bored pretty fast so you can't blame him. Books just bore him out.

"Are you serious about that?" you said trying to check if he's saying the truth because you kind of doubt it. It can be one of his traps so he can make you go to that party.

"Yeah, I really mean it." and he smiled at you, this time sincerely. You felt your heart racing as your shoulder fell as a gesture of surrendering. You let out a sigh before you pursed your lips, starring over at his pretty eyes.

"Okay, we have to seal it." and you extended your hand over at him, showing him your little pinky finger.

Jay's eyes trailed over it and chuckle a bit because of how cute and childish you can really be. He raised his hand and linked his pinky with yours as he looked back up at you.

"Sealed. I'll pick you up at 8pm."

You tilted your head before slightly covering your ears as the loud music kind of ringed inside your head making it ache a bit. You're starting to regret your decision of coming here with Jay.

It's been almost like fifteen minutes and he can't be found anywhere! He just told you that he'll get both of you drinks and he disappeared. You rolled your eyes as you started fidgeting with your fingers, slightly starting to feel getting tired of the surrounding.

Whenever there’s a lot of people, you can just feel all of your energy getting sucked out. You don't know but that's just how you feel, maybe because you really hate being in a lot of crowd. Which is a little strange because your friend, Jay, was the complete opposite.

"Why does a pretty girl like you alone, huh?" your head snapped upwards when somebody talked to you. In front of you was one of the cocky football players in your school. You're familiar with him because he's one of the famous students. Often talked about by the girls in your class. He's also friends Jay, you think.

You gave him a faint smile, "Uh, Jay said he'll just grab us drinks." you reasoned out even though that was already fifteen minutes ago.

You saw how a playful smirk got plastered over at his lips, "Ohh, Jay... But I clearly remember seeing him banging somebody at the bathroom though?" he even tilted his head over at the side.

You didn't have time to examine his expression because you quickly felt betrayed after hearing that from him. He said he'll take care of you in this party but seems like he's gonna take care of something else. You have no right to get mad at him, it was normal. But what pisses you off is that you're supposed to be at your dorm, peacefully reading your books and he dragged you all the way here.

You let out a sigh standing up from the sofa and slightly pulling down the end of your short dress. You gave the guy an awkward insincere smile, "I think I should go." you mumbled as you were about to turn and leave the place when you felt him grabbing your arm, stopping you.

"Why don't you stay for a bit more? I can get you a drink." he smirked showing off his charming smile at you.

You battled inside your mind but ended up smiling at him in an apologetic way, "I'm sorry but I want to go now." and you tried to get away from his grip.

You made it outside the frat house and there’s still a lot of people outside but not as crowded from inside. When you were about to make it really out, you felt one hand gripped over you once again.

"Hey are you sure you don't want to stay?" it was the guy from before, he came after you.

"Uh yeah."

"Then can I just drive you home?" he sounds sweet, honestly. But since you knew him a bit, you know he's just basically wanting to get into your pants.

You gave him a smile once again, trying not to show that you're slowly getting pissed. Not to mention, Jay really did get into your nerves tonight.

"No, thanks." you sound polite saying no. When you were about to pull off from him, a hand suddenly loosen his grip from you and Jay's familiar back was now in front of you.

"Hands off, Yoon." Jay said firmly and he's now the one holding your arm. You rolled your eyes and looked away, still pissed at him.

"Okay! I was just offering her a ride home."

"Go offer that to somebody else." and you heard the guy walked away after he heard that from Jay.

You kept quiet even after he turned around to face you. His brows were furrowed hardly looking pissed as well. Taken aback at how he's acting, you pulled away from his grip.

"What?" you asked him sarcastically.

He let out a sigh, calming himself before he ran his hand over at his hair. "I clearly remember told you to stay and wait for me." he muttered seriously at you.

You smiled at him fakely, "Oh, I'm sorry. I figured you wanted to take time fucking the girl in the bathroom so I was just about to go home."

You saw the instant confusion over his face as he starred at you.

"What are you talking about?"

It pisses you even more looking at him denying it. "You were banging somebody at the bathroom that's why you disappeared."

He was still confused, "Banging? Who told you that? I was not--" you didn't even let him finish because you turned around, ready to leave. You were just getting pissed because he was denying it.

You felt him grabbing you and forcing you to face him, "Hey I'm telling the truth! You can even check if my I did. I was just caught off with some friends inside and when I went back to give you the drink, you were gone! You gave me a heart attack, thinking somebody took you somewhere else."

You crossed your arms at him, "I want to go home."

Jay starred right at your eyes and sighed heavily. He planned to actually have fun with you tonight but it seems like that's not gonna happen anymore because you're upset.

"Okay, I'm sorry baby if I left you for a long time." he said sincerely. You gulped and looked away from him as the sweet endearment of him rings over your mind.

You weren't even supposed to act mad. Then so what if Jay's fucking someone at the bathroom? He's already a grown man, he's attractive so a lot of girls will be interested to him! Maybe it's because of your jealousy? You don't exactly know what.

"Okay whatever. I wanna go."

"Okay, can I first have a hug because I was really scared when you were not there where I left you." you eyed him and he's now opening his arms for you.

"And to make sure you aren't upset anymore." he said smirking.

You starred at his eyes for a bit while before you gave in and let out a sigh. Slowly, you approach Jay and wrapped your arms around his waist while he wrapped his around you. He dropped a kiss over at your head before he mumbled something over at you.

"I'll just say goodbye with my friends inside and we can just go somewhere else." he softly said.

You pulled away from the hug after nodding, "Okay, I'll wait for you here."

He starred at you seriously before he shake his head, "No. I'm not leaving you ever again." and he pulled you by your hand.

When you made it inside the crowded frat house, the loud music once again ringed inside your head. The people inside were now getting wasted so it can't be helped to be bumped by somebody. Jay intertwined your fingers with his to make sure you won't be lost.

"Hey, I'll be going." you noticed Jay's familiar circle of friends. They eyed Jay and you saw that disappointed look over the girls that were there.

He chuckled as they groaned in disagreement. "It was a great party, dude. See you around." he lastly said before he started pulling you away.

You even saw how the girl's eyes looked at you with envy and madness. They sure want to stop Jay, that's for sure. But they also know once Jay made a decision, they can't stop him from doing it.

"Thank you." you smiled at him when he put some more books at the table. He smiled at you as he sat down beside you.

You're now at the library and as promised, Jay really did go with you. He even helped you look for books and said he will stay with you while you read.

As you started rummaging over the books, Jay rested his back over his chair and get his nintendo. He'll play while you do your reading. You've got no classes for today so you can do as much reading as you want without worrying for the next classes.

"Did you know vampires can live forever?" you said sounding so excited as you eyed Jay who's clearly busy with his game.

His hands were busy and his eyes too, while brows furrowed seriously, he gave you a quick glance.

"Oh really? Interesting." you ignored the fact that he sounded so sarcastic about and just kept flipping the pages of the book.

"And I even read that they can roam around even in broad daylight without worrying to be dissolved." you started blabbering some stuff you find cool about them.

Jay just gave you a small nod and still kept his eyes over at his game. You know you're sounding a bit pathetic to other people because of how crazy you are with vampires. They're just few people who believed they do exist and you're one of them. You're just glad that even though you're like this Jay didn't unfriend you. He's just there, listening with your obsession.

"Do you think it'll be painful if a vampire bite you?" You wondered and rested your elbows at the table then your head leaned over your palm as you stare over Jay.

You saw how he stopped moving his fingers and eye you. Those stares really gave chills over your back but you can't look away from him as well. His gazes truly were intimidating, but you love them.

"Wanna try?" he said seriously. You blushed hardly as you starred at him too.

You two were silent for a while as you slowly went back to your senses.

"What do you mean?" you asked feeling completely flustered.

He put his game over the table and leaned closer to you, you gulped starting to feel nervous. Jay's face was still serious when he stretched his hand and put it behind your neck before he pull you closer his lips quickly aiming for your neck.

"J-Jay?" you were confused why he's suddenly acting like this.

"I bet it'll hurt a lot, y/n. It will hurt so much that you can't even take the pain." he whispered after placing a soft kiss over at your neck.

You gulped trying to clear your throat and Jay pulled away now with a smirk over his handsome face. His hands crawled over at your neck and he grabbed it, with a slightly choking position but not tightening it.

"But I bet the vampire will enjoy biting your neck. Sure will do." he muttered before leaning closer to kiss you over at your cheek.

He pulled away and smiled at you, "I'll just get us some drinks." he winked before standing up and leaving you there, dumbfounded.

Jay's really driving you crazy! How can he pull off that stunt without even a single warning? You literally thought he'll bite off your neck or something. You sighed and you rested one of your hands at your chest. You can feel your indefinite heart beats, it was all his fault.

You starred worriedly over at Jay when he opened the door for you, one night. It was already 9pm and he suddenly called you saying he doesn't feel so good. You hurriedly went to his house to check on him and you saw him looking a bit unwell.

"What happened to you?" you asked worried and rested your hand over at his forehead. It was cold, like always.

He held your hand and smiled a little. You can clearly see that he isn't okay, that he's not feeling well.

"I'm fine. I'll get better once you cook for me." he said and starred right at you. You ended up nodding your head and instructing him to just lay down somewhere.

You tied your hair up and wore the apron slowly trailing over the familiar cozy floor of Jay’s house. It isn’t the first time you were there so were obviously used to it. You rummaged over his stuff and started making something you remembered he loved.

You were now chopping off some ingredients that you’ll be needing for the dish you’re planning to cook for him while you’re mind wonders off to Jay. Ever since the day at the library and the conversation about the bite in the neck, you started thinking about Jay even more. You don’t know why but you think you might be out of your mind. Your obsession with vampires was making you think your friend were actually one of them.

“Ugh.” you grunted lowly as you accidentally cut your finger. You quickly walked towards the sink to wash it away when you felt presence behind you.

“Y/n...” you heard Jay said in a low voice.

You turned around and saw him starring like crazy in your finger that was bleeding, “Jay, it was just a small cut.” you even tried smiling at him but his eyes were still locked at your bleeding finger.

Finding it a bit odd, you cupped his face using your unwounded hand and made him face you. It was just for a short moment but you clearly saw it with your own eyes. Jay’s black eyes turned into a bright red color. You don’t know how to express the excitement you just felt when you saw it.

“Y-You’re eyes...” Jay snapped back to reality and stepped backward, away from you. He knew he fucked up, he shouldn’t have made you go here when he’s like this, when he’s hungry. He thought he was in control and seeing you can somehow calm him down but why does it have to end this way? He can resist you as long as he cannot smell your blood but you just cut yourself and your blood triggers him.

All he wants now is to hold you closer, have some of those blood. Keep you near him, so close to him and to never let go. The most hidden feelings of him slowly becoming visible, he hates it.

“No way,” you mumbled still starring at him not minding that your finger was still bleeding.

“Yes way so if you don’t want me to eat you alive, get away.” Jay said and still slowly backing away.

You starred over at his eyes trying not to miss the moment of him changing his eye color. You can’t believe that what you just read was true. They did change their eye color! Excitement ate you whole as you advanced towards Jay, fear clearly can’t be seen over at your eyes.

“You don’t know how exciting that sounds for me, Jay.” Jay was dumbfounded to actually hear that from you. He’s being dizzy by the scent of your fresh blood and all the emotions that were starting to mess around.

He knew you were obsessed and crazy over his kind but he never really thought you’ll react this way when you knew about him. He didn’t took notice that you were now close to him. you cupped his face as you stare at him.

“Vampires do look breath-taking.” you said.

Jay gulped eyes turning red once again, you were too close and he knew it was dangerous. He pursed his lips as he held over your waist ready to push you away. n “Baby, this is not good. You’re making me so hungry.” he shut his eyes.

“You can have some.” Jay snapped his eyes open and when he saw how sincere your eyes looks, he can’t stop himself anymore.

He muttered small little curses under his breath before he carried you and made you sit over the kitchen counter. Jay held your face softly as his fangs slowly showed, “It’ll hurt a lot.”

You smiled and caress his face, “I can take it.”

He sighed and leaned forward to kiss you over at your lips once before he showered your chin and neck with butterfly like kisses. You shut your eyes as you held unto his hair.

Jay was already feeling so hungry and seeing your bare neck in front of him just drives him crazy. The countless times he fantasize of biting this flashed back through his mind, he didn’t even know there comes a time he will actually burry his fangs at your neck.

You bit your lower lip as you felt his fangs bury at your neck causing you this unexplainable pain. You quickly felt dizzy and Jay was there to hold you close to him making sure you won’t fall.

He pulled away and faced you, looking a bit pale, he got worried and held your face. You smiled seeing him in front of you, fangs showing and blood over at the side of his lips.

You leaned over and kiss it off of the side of his lips. You opened your mouth letting his tongue touch with yours. He groaned and even held your nape to deepen the kiss. You chuckled and pull away, n “You actually enjoy that taste?” you tried to joke when you had a taste of your own blood.

“It was the best so far,” he smirked.

You smirked at him too as you starred at Jay. His eyes weren’t red anymore but his fangs were still out in the open. “You look so hot.”

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled and leaned for another kiss.

It’s been days ever since the day you knew that Jay was a vampire and ever since then you started becoming his blood bank. He have this blood packs that you don’t know where the hell came from but he prefers to have your blood. It was kind of cute not until you’re full of his bite marks.

If it’s annoying for you, it’s a masterpiece for Jay. For him, seeing you full of his bite marks clearly like claiming you. He smirked while starring over at you doing your homework. Classes were over and you’re at the library with him.

“Aren’t you hot for wearing that?” he teased referring to your turtle neck.

You rolled your eyes, “Why don’t you try then? I clearly told you, stop putting it in a visible place! You never listen.” you hissed at him a bit pissed.

He smirked tilting his head before leaning forward and carefully ran his palm from your collar bone up to your neck, he leaned in.

“Then so what if I want to put it in where people can see it?”

“If its love bites, it’ll be just fine but they’re vampire bites. You hear that? Now, move away,” You rolled your eyes and Jay laughed loving how you talk back at him.

He held your chin and made you face him dropping a kiss over at your lips.

Finally, Jay left you because he have basketball practice and he said he’ll be out till night. It’s okay for you since you’re planning to do something while he’s busy with something else.

It’s been days since you kept on forcing Jay to turn you in. But it’s either he change the subject or he’ll straightly say no. It pissed you off since you were aware of the process of becoming one and you know it’s really possible.

You walked silently towards the football field and go straight over the back of their locker room. There you saw him, squatting down, smoking.

“I knew I would see you here.” you started. The guy snapped his head towards your direction and was a bit stunned to see you there.

“What are you doing here, Jay’s girl?” he asked and take a huff from his cigarette.

You pursed your lips before you let out a heavy sigh, “Can I ask you for a little favor?” you don’t want to waste any time and want to straightforward.

“It depends if we won’t get into trouble with Jay. Why are you even here? Why don’t you ask him for the favor?”

You crossed your arm, “Well, I already did but he refused to.”

He looked at you, trying to guess what you want.

“What is it?”

You were silent of a while before you let out a sigh, “Can you turn me into a vampire?” you suddenly blurted out, getting straightforward.

His eyes grew big for a while as he started coughing after breathing wrongly with his cigarette. You kind of feel bad, so you approach him.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you? This is actually someone approached me for this kind of favor. I thought you were gonna ask me to have sex with you for a second there, I mean that’s what girls usually ask me for a favor.” he was still a bit shock but he managed to stare at you. Now, he noticed the clothes you were wearing.

“So you knew about Jay and he’s feeding on you.” he stated a bit surprised by the situation. He can’t believe this kind of thing was happening right now.

You rolled your eyes, “Are you gonna do the favor or not?” you’re starting to get pissed and you’re actually running out of time. Jay’s practice will be over and you won’t have any time to approach this guy.

“Chill, how did you even know I’m one of them?” your eyes trailed over at his hand that was holding the cigarette.

“That ring, Jay also that kind of old ring. He said it helps him to walk freely in daylight.” you explained.

He nodded actually realizing you were pretty observant of your surrounding. “If you badly want to become one, then why don’t you ask him to turn you?”

“Do you think I didn’t do that? I already did. He kept on refusing.”

“Maybe he have his reasons? Look, I know the sound of living forever and not being able to die is tempting but trust me, it’s not that easy.”

You grew silent. You knew that. Of course you’re aware of that. You think about this a lot and it still brings you to the desire of becoming one.

“Does he know you’re here?” you looked back at him. brows starting to furrow.

“No.”

You saw how he smirked while leaning over the wall, n “That explains why he seems to be really mad.” you didn’t even have the time to ask him. You just saw him pinned over the wall, a mad jay was holding him by the collar.

“Jay!” you panicked and approached closer.

“What do you think are you doing, Yoon?” his eyes were red and fangs were visible. Yoon smirked at him and raised both of his hands.

“I’m not doing anything, Jay. She was the one who went here.” he said. Jay’s mad eyes were not darted over at you.

“He’s right, I went here myself.”

“What were you thinking?! You went there alone at night! You knew he’s a vampire and you still went there.” he was very mad. You made it to his house and you two were now in front of each other, his eyes bloodshot, angry at you.

“I wanted to ask him a favor to turn me in since you kept on declining.”

He eyed you, anger became more even intense. He doesn’t know what to feel when he actually heard that from you. All he know is that he’s angry and worried for you. Seeing you in front of Yoon a while ago made him so mad and jealous. For him, you were just his.

“I know you’re obsessed with vampires but I can’t believe you can be this crazy and desperate of becoming one.” he muttered angrily at you.

You pursed your lips while you stare at your fidgeting hands. You sniffed, tears started to pool your eyes. Slowly, you raised your head to face Jay and look over at his eyes.

“It’s not about my obsession about vampires anymore, Jay.” your tears fell from your eyes as Jay clenched his jaw. He hates it, he doesn’t want to see you crying, but he also wants this to stop. He doesn’t want you luring around another vampire again.

“Then what?”

“When I found out that you were a vampire, wanting to become one is not because of my obsession. It’s because I want to be with you forever.” you cried even more.

Jay’s eyes soften as he watch you, “Knowing that soon I’ll leave you hurts me. I don’t want to leave you, Jay. I love you.”

You cried hardly and cover your face with both of your hands. Jay sighed eyes turning red. He advanced closer and held your arms carefully. He uncovered your face kissing you over at your forehead then cupped your face.

“Do you really mean it?”

You starred right into his eyes as you nod your head. He smiled as he leaned closer kissing your lips.

“Alright,” he mumbled softly and turned your head over at the side then moved your turtleneck. He bite over your neck, making you grunt a little.

He pulled away as he held unto the end of your shirt and take it off of you.

“On your knees in front of me, baby,” he ordered giving you those intense look.

Slowly you followed what he said. Jay starred down at you before he fold his sleeves up to his elbow before he bite his two fingers. You saw how his blood ran down.

He moved it down and placed it in front of your face. You looked at it before you looked back over at Jay.

“Open your mouth for me.” he muttered lowly. You followed and carefully entered his two fingers inside your mouth letting you taste his blood.

“That’s it, every bit.” you drank his blood and felt a bit stranger.

“That’s a good girl.” Jay said before he withdraws his fingers from your mouth then crouched down to kiss over your lips. You moaned when he bite over your lips making you open your mouth, sliding in his mouth and you taste more blood from it.

Jay pulled away and carried you over at his bed, laying you down and showered kisses over you as he whispered over your ears.

“I’ll turn you and keep you forever, y/n. You’re gonna be mine and you will never ever have a chance to leave me.” he said right over your ears.

“I love you, Jay.”

You felt his hands over at your body. He kissed the center of your tummy, up to the middle of your chest, to your neck then grabbed it by his hand. He pulled away and starred right at your eyes, his eyes were red, full of affection for you.

“I love you, y/n.”

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band--psycho · 4 years ago

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Harvey Specter x Reader-Not A Disaster After All

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Today was the day. The day of my first date in almost three years, to say I was nervous was an understatement; not just because it was my first date in so long but also because the date was with the one of the most famous lawyers in the city, the one and only Harvey Specter. After several outfit changes I finally settled on wearing a black, spaghetti strap jumpsuit accompanied with matching black stiletto high heel ankle boots. I glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, feeling a mixture of emotions as the time grew ever closer. I hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time but likewise I hadn’t felt more excited to go on a date with someone, not since I dated Nathan, Y/d/n father. In all honesty, since he died I hadn’t really gone on many dates, if any really. I tried the dating apps a few years after his death but there just wasn’t anyone on there that I liked that way. Harvey was the first person I’d even liked since Nathan and although part of me felt guilty about it, I knew he’d want me to be happy and Harvey was a good guy, I felt safe with him.

“So..whaddya think?” I asked in a sing-song voice as I turned the corner, revealing my outfit for my date tonight to my best friend, Emma.

“You look absolutely gorgeous babe!” she practically squealed, causing Y/d/n to pull her eyes away from the tv screen.

“You ‘ook reawy pwetty, mummy,” Y/d/n beamed as she was waddled over to me, a wide smile on her face and a look of awe in her eyes.Thinking about it, this was probably one of the only times she’s seen me all dressed up just like this, normally I’d just be wearing my ripped skinny jeans and a tshirt.

“Thank you baby,” I whispered, bending down to pick her up.

“Now, I need you to be good for Auntie Em whilst I’m out, okay?” I asked her, brushing away some of the stray locks of hair out of her face.

“Otay,” Y/d/n agreed, placing a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her actions as I placed her back on the floor, within seconds she’d waddled back over to the tv and was sat infront of it completely engrossed in her favourite show once again.

“C’mon then you, you’ve got a date to go to,” Emma chuckled, lightly pushing me towards the door.

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” I chuckled, putting my leather jacket on, taking a deep breath before I opened the door.

“If there are any issues-” I began, quickly turning back to Emma just rolled her eyes and said, “I will call you, Y/n/n, now go otherwise you’re gonna be late.” So with that I left and got into the taxi, the closer I got to the restaurant the quicker I could feel my heart beating away in my chest. Part of me wanted nothing more than to ask the taxi driver to take me home, absolutely terrified that I was somehow going to mess this date up. But then I saw him. Mr Harvey Specter standing outside the restaurant patiently waiting for me. I took a deep breath as I opened the taxi door and made my way over to him.

“Y/n/n,” Harvey greeted with the very same charismatic smile I first fell for.

“Mr Specter,” I replied, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as his eyes locked onto mine.

“Call me Harvey,” he chuckled, lightly placing his hand on the lower part of my back, leading me into the restaurant. There was no turning back now. This date was happening...and it was either going to be the best night of my life or...or I was just never going to date again.

~~~~~~~

I’d always heard about how charming Harvey Specter was but I never expected this. He was...he was amazing. I felt like I’d known him for years, the two of us were just swapping stories about our lives, our hobbies, just anything and everything..once we got talking it’s like we couldn’t stop. There was no awkward silence, or nerves about what to say, it was just natural. I hadn’t even realised how much time had passed until my phone rang; at first I was just going to ignore it but when I saw Emma's name flash up in the called ID I felt my heart stop, terrified that something was wrong with Y/d/n.

“Sorry, I’ve got to answer this,” I apologised, rushing over to a quieter part of the restaurant to answer my phone.

“Em, what’s happened? Is Y/d/n okay?” I asked, a worrying tone now lacing my voice.

“Don’t panic, Y/n/n, but Y/d/n’s been sick, you don’t need to worry I can take care of-”

“I’m on my way home,” I interrupted before hanging up the call and quickly making my way back over to Harvey.

“Harvey, I hate to do this but I’ve really got to go, it’s my daughter she’s not well,” I explained, grabbing my jacket from the chair.

“I can uh...I can forward you the money if you send me your details,” I quickly added, not really having the time to work out exactly how much I was going to owe him for this dinner.

“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” Harvey replied with a smile, handing over the money to a nearby waiter. I wanted to argue with him about it, but I couldn’t, not now. Right now all I wanted to do was go home and look after Y/d/n. I smiled politely at Harvey and rushed outside, attempting (and failing) to get a taxi. I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my hair, placing a hand on a nearby wall in an attempt to steady myself as I took my heels off accepting that I was going to have to walk (more like run) home.

“Y/n/n? What’re you doing?” Harvey asked, his voice catching me off guard entirely.

“I’ve gotta go home but apparently all the taxis wanna ignore me, so I’m gonna have to walk,” I explained in a harsher tone than I expected.

“My cars gonna be here in five minutes, I’ll take you home,”

“Harvey, that’s a really nice offer but-” I attempted to argue only to be interrupted by Harveys words, “But nothing, I’m not about to let you walk home this late at night, besides the quicker we get to Yd/n the better right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he held out his hand for me to take. I didn’t want to take advantage of him...but I couldn’t deny this offer, so I slipped my heels back on and took his hand, both of us waiting patiently for his car to arrive.

~~~~~~~~

“Thank you so much for this Harvey, I really appreciate it,” I said, practically bolting out of the car before he could say anything back. I didn’t even know Harvey had followed me to the door until I saw the shocked expression on Emma's face when she answered the door.

“Harvey-”

“I wanna help,” He offered, a small and reassuring smile coming upon his lips. I nodded back, smiling at him before rushing into the house and heading to Y/d/ns bedroom. When I saw Y/d/n, I felt my heart ache, her usual rose tinted cheeks were pale and tears cascaded from her now bloodshot eyes.

“Mummy,” She sniffled when she saw me, “I don’ feel good,”

“It’s okay baby, I’m here,” I cooed, stroking her hair soothingly as I sat next to her on the bed.

~~~~~~

Ten minutes after I got back, Emma left, leaving me and Harvey to take care of Y/d/n. Harvey was amazing. There was no other word I could use to describe how great he was at looking after Y/d/n; all I did was stay in bed with her, stroking her hair and giving her all the cuddles I possibly could while Harvey did everything else, he would got her water and a little wet flannel to bring her slight fever down and then on top of that he read to her. Not once. Not twice. But at least five times as much as I hated to admit it, he was a lot better at doing the voices than I was and I could see Y/d/n was enjoying it and it was definitely helping to calm her down. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed but eventually Y/d/n fell asleep; I carefully moved my arms away from her and moved off the bed.

Thank you, for everything you’ve done tonight,” I began, my voice barely above as a whisper to, as we quietly left the room, making our way back downstairs.

“It was a pleasure,” Harvey reassured with a comforting smile on his face. A short silence filled the air as he grabbed his suit jacket and made his way to the door.

“I know tonight has been a disaster-,” I began only to be interrupted by Harveys chuckle.

“I got to spend the evening with you, I call that a success,” He said , wrapping his arms around my waist, a comforting smile on his face. I don’t know what came over me, but at that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him. So that's exactly what I did. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and closed the distance between our lips. Instantly, Harvey reciprocated my action, his hands slowly moving up my body to my face, caressing my cheeks as he deepened the kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He whispered against my lips, pecking them one last time before opening the door and making his way over to the car, just before he got in he winked at me, that charismatic smile coming onto his face again. Then he vanished off into the distance. Maybe tonight wasn’t a disaster after all...maybe it was the beginning of something really special.

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babyjakes · 3 years ago

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forever and a day | 42. the big day.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). action and fight scenes with violence and killing. injuries/mild gore. mature themes related to and semi-graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect, past CSA and CSM, and their aftermath (emaciation, wounds, scarring, etc). medical abuse and experimentation. ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). medical treatment of CSM and other aftermath of abuse.trauma-informed therapeutic treatment of ECT. minor mentions of disordered eating. themes relating to abuse of power/authority and immoral interrogation tactics including SA (with brief depictions.) evil!Tony Stark.

[Steve]

It’s now been a week since solidifying our moving plans, and the past seven days have been hectic, to say the least. Between various store runs, trips back and forth between the tower and the apartment, painting walls, building furniture, decorating, and all the rest, it sort of feels like I’ve barely had a chance to catch my breath. It’s been good, though. Building a place for Willa and I to truly begin our lives together as a family has been full of excitement and anticipation, and I can’t wait to show her the home I’ve worked so hard to create for the both of us.

“I know I’ve probably said this a thousand times already, but we’re really gonna miss having you here,” Wanda sighs softly to me as I enjoy my last cup of coffee in the tower’s kitchen. Walking up to me, the girl wraps an arm around my shoulder; with almost heavy limbs, I hug her back, a bittersweet feeling rising in my chest.

“We’ll come back and visit plenty, I promise,” I tell her as she pulls away. The teen’s wide eyes look up into mine, and I know my words do little to ease her heartache. “And you can come stay with us, too,” I remind her, “any time you want, kiddo. We’ve got a bed in the spare room for you and Pete, each.”

“I think this is going to be really good for her,” Wanda tells me seriously, shifting the topic of discussion slightly. I nod, relieved to hear that she thinks so. “The transition may take a while, but she deserves a home. A real home, like what you’ve made for her.”

“Hey, glad you didn’t take off before I got the chance to say goodbye,” a new voice calls from the entrance to the hallway. Clint walks over to where Wanda and I are standing, an unusual hint of sadness hidden in his expression.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I assure him casually as he gives me a side-hug, patting my back over my shoulder. “Gonna miss you, pal,” I admit sincerely.

“Yeah, well, you and Buck better not party too hard over there,” he jokes back. “You gotta bring all the fun over here when you come visit.”

“Which will be often!” Wanda chimes in, and I smile, nodding at her. The elevator bell rings from across the room and the two metal doors slide open to reveal Natasha, Bruce, and Thor.

“Captain! Your big day has arrived,” Thor’s strong voice booms through his smile as the trio walk over to join the rest of us in the kitchen. “A grand new adventure awaits you and the little one. I must admit, it’s sad to see you go.”

Nat’s eyes catch mine, and in the faint streaks of light shining down on the quiet woman’s face, I think I can see a thin line of tears forming. I set down my coffee mug on the counter, pulling my friend into a hug. She squeezes me tight and whispers in my ear, only for me to hear, “This place is really gonna suck without you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Nat,” I tell her gently. She smiles at me, her happiness for me and Willa shining through her grief. Looking up at the rest of my friends, a question pops into my head. “Where’s Tony?” I ask, noticing he’s the only one missing besides Peter, who I know is playing with Willa in her room.

“Oh- right. Tony, uh… he left, actually. Went out for the day,” Bruce stutters me, catching me by surprise. “Early this morning. I don’t think he could handle the… the goodbye,” he finishes. The news hits surprisingly hard, even though the two of us haven’t talked at all since I announced that Willa and I would be moving. I don’t know what I expected our farewell to look like, but I was at least counting on it happening. “I’m sorry Cap,” Bruce adds, sensing my disappointment.

“That’s alright,” I manage to say after a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. “I get it; goodbyes are tough.”

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Nat shakes her head.

“He should be here,” Wanda adds softly, a look of disappointment falling over her face. An uncomfortable hush falls over the group as I sigh, not sure what to say.

After several more moments of complete silence, Clint clears his throat, offering an attempt to lighten the mood. “Well, I can’t stand the thought of either of you being away for too long, so… how about you join us for dinner sometime next week?” he offers. The others nod and smile at this suggestion in agreement.

“Sure thing,” I chuckle, trying to relax back into the conversation. “I’m sure Willa and Peter will be happy to play again so soon, too.” At the mention of the kids, the looks around the group instantly turn to saddened smiles full of sympathy.

“I honestly think this is gonna be the hardest on Pete,” Bruce admits, and the rest seem to agree with him. “He loves Willa more than anything.”

“She loves him, too. A whole lot. I’ll have to talk to him about planning a slumber party or something soon,” I reply.

“Well, Cap, we should probably let you get things rolling with Willa,” Nat says sadly. I nod, taking a deep breath through my nose. I’ve already discussed with the group that I’d like to leave with the little girl in private, just for the sake of not overwhelming her with goodbyes. That’s why throughout the morning, everyone has taken a moment to go see her and say farewell. What Nat means now is that everyone should retire to their rooms to give us the privacy of departing independently.

“You’re probably right. Thank you guys, for everything,” I nod, looking around and connecting gazes with each member of my wonderful group of friends. “Willa and I both love and appreciate you all very much. And we look forward to seeing you again soon.”

“We love you, Cap,” Wanda whispers softly, a tear rolling down her cheek. And without another word, they all turn and slowly begin to walk away, disappearing into the hallway.

Taking a moment to rest in the quiet, I glance down at my coffee mug, pouring out the rest down the drain before rinsing it and placing it in the dishwasher. As I rise back up from bending over, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window, and what I see makes me smile. All of my life, I’ve wondered who I was. What sort of purpose I had. What I was made for. Before, and even after the serum, I would look at myself in mirrors and reflections and not like what I saw. I would see a lost man, forever searching for his identity. I never became that perfect soldier I always dreamt of being, and after that, I wasn’t sure there was a place in the world for me at all.

But now, through the window, I see someone new. Willa’s dad. And in my fleeting moment of reflection, I realize something very important: with a title like that, I couldn’t be more satisfied or proud of what my life has turned out to be.

“You got this,” I whisper to myself, to that man in the reflection. And deep within myself, for maybe the first time in my life, I truly believe it.

After lingering for a few more moments, I finally decide that I’m ready. Exiting the kitchen space, I make my way over to the hallway, taking the familiar walk down the long row of doors until I reach the very last one on the left. At this point, everything has been moved into the apartment. I didn’t want to worry about carrying any bags or boxes at this stage, considering the fact that this could very well be quite a difficult time for Willa. Though she’s excited, I know the change has also sparked some anxiety within her, and I want to be able to give my full attention to making the process as comfortable as possible for her.

Leaning an ear against the door, I expect to catch some laughter or chatter. But to my surprise, I’m only met with silence. Knocking gently against the solid wood, I twist the knob and push the door open; the sight before me shatters my heart into a million pieces.

On top of Willa’s plush yellow comforter, Peter sits quietly, cradling the little girl in his arms. Tears are running down both of their faces, and the child’s hands are clinging to the teen’s grey t-shirt tightly, knuckles white. Upon my entrance, Peter glances up at me, an indescribable amount of pain written all over his face. He turns his head back down to face Willa, brushing her messy brown hair back behind her ear. “I promise, Willa, I-I promise,” the boy tries, desperation dripping from his words. “He’s not bringing you to a lab… it’s an apartment, remember? It’s just like a house… Cap would never bring you b-back to a place like that, ever.”

“Hey, hey- what’s going on, you guys?” I hum in concern, bending down while approaching the two at the side of the bed. At first, when I saw Peter and Willa crying together, I just figured they were having a hard time saying goodbye. But after hearing what Peter’s trying to convince the little girl of, my worries go much beyond simple separation anxiety.

Reaching out a gentle hand, I carefully set it on Willa’s shoulder; in response, the frightened thing cowers under my touch, curling herself into her friend’s arms. While I was expecting a certain level of fear from Willa, I must admit, I wasn’t anticipating this strong of a reaction. Looking back over this morning, I now regret not spending more time with her up until this point. She’s just been clinging to Peter, which I didn’t think anything of. But now I’m starting to see that maybe she was needing more of my attention and care all along.

“Willa, honey, what’s wrong? What’s all this about a lab? There’s no lab, sweetheart. We’re going home today, remember? Today’s the day I’m taking you home,” I coo, hoping to ease the little one’s fears.

“P-please,” she whimpers into Peter’s shirt, her soft voice muffled by the light grey fabric. “No lab, don’t take me back, please.” My heart breaks at her fears; I had no idea she was thinking like this.

“No one’s bringing you back, Willa-bug. You and I are going to go live in our own house, sweetie, that’s all. A nice house all to ourselves, with a kitchen, and a living room, and lots of space to play. There’s no lab, doll,” I try, but my words seem to be doing little to help.

“Y-yeah, it’s just a house, Wil,” Peter adds, running his finger through her hair. “Steve and some of the others spent this whole week working on it. I bet you guys are really gonna like living there,” he encourages. But no matter what the boy and I say, I worry there may be no way to prove anything to Willa. Her fears are just so deep-rooted; proving them wrong might be the only true way to eliminate them.

“Do you wanna see some pictures?” I ask, pulling out my phone. While the original plan was to keep everything a surprise for the grand reveal, clearly the more important issue at hand is convincing the child of her safety. Quickly scanning my thumb, I open up my gallery, tapping on the first photo I see. “Look Willa, here’s the front of it. The building’s a nice light blue color. We have our own front door, and a little balcony, too,” I describe. Willa keeps her head buried into Peter’s chest, but he gently pulls her away, trying to get her to look. At this, she struggles against him, craving the shield of his embrace.

“Look Willa, there’s a flower box and everything. You guys can have a little garden in there,” Peter comments; eventually, the child’s eyes catch a glimpse of the screen, and she pauses in her struggle, peering warily over at the image.

“That’s right, we do have a flower box. We could go to the farmer’s market and look for some flowers this week; how does that sound?” I offer gently. “I know Bucky goes often; we can have him show us around.” Willa doesn’t respond, but her posture has slightly relaxed, which is as good a sign as any. I slide across the screen to the next picture, continuing, “And here’s the living room, right inside the front door. See? We have a nice big couch where we can sit and watch Paw Patrol.” Willa’s eyes remain on the image, and I swipe again. “Here’s the kitchen; we have lots of room to cook and bake. The cabinets used to be dark, but we painted them white. I like them a lot better now; they match the dining table.” The little girl looks up at me, then back down at the screen.

“N-not a lab?” she asks warily.

“No, sweetheart. It’s a home. Our home,” I promise her. Seeming a little bit more comfortable with the idea now, she turns and looks up at Peter.

“And I’ll come see you soon, okay?” he tells her. A new wave of sadness washes over her face at this. “A-and we can video call whenever you want, just like Steve showed you. On our little TV’s; all you gotta do is ask.”

“Clint already invited us over for dinner next week,” I tell the pair with a slight chuckle. “So it won’t be too long before you see each other again.” Willa reaches a tiny hand up and places it on Peter’s cheek, her big green eyes filled with tears.

“Best f'iends forever,” she tells him quietly.

“Best friends forever,” Peter repeats back, placing a hand over hers. “I love you, Wil. Very much. I’ll see you again soon.” Slowly, their hands fall away, and Peter turns back to me, tears built up in his eyes as he holds out the little girl to me. I welcome her into my embrace, and the teen stands up from the bed, taking one last glance at us as he swallows a lump down his throat. “Steve,” his voice comes out low. Connecting my gaze with his, I nod. “Please, t-take care of her for me, okay?”

Heart swelling at his simple request, I nod again, vowing, “I promise, Peter. She’s safe with me.”

Nodding, a tear slips down the precious boy’s cheek as he mumbles a final farewell before turning and heading out the door, dragging his feet beneath him. Willa’s eyes stay lingering where he disappeared long after he’s gone.

Clearing my throat, I attempt to regain the little girl’s attention. “Okay, Willa-bug. Should we get going, then?” I ask, glancing around her old room one last time to make sure she didn’t forget anything. The child settles silently against my chest as I rise to my feet, holding her close. Taking a deep breath, I follow the path of the teen who’s now disappeared, exiting the room and beginning the long trek back down the hallway. Willa shakes slightly against me as we walk through the living space one last time, over to the elevator where I press the button and we wait.

“Walking there?” her little voice asks quietly.

“No, not walking,” I say with a slight laugh. “We’re driving there.” I’m just now realizing it, but this is the first time since the airport that Willa’s been in a car. And, both the airport trip and the trip to the safe-house were made without a car-seat available, meaning this is the first time she’ll be taking a proper car ride.

“Driving?” the small child asks curiously.

“Yep. In a car,” I tell her, just as the elevator arrives and the doors slide open before us. Stepping in, I press the button for B1, and the doors close back up again as we begin to drift downward. The ride is silent, only lasting a few minutes, and before I know it we’ve stepped out into the parking garage, surrounded by vehicles of all shapes and sizes. Still holding Willa warmly against me, I make my way down the long row of cars until I reach one of the last few parking spaces at the end, where my own black car is parked.

“Car,” Willa says, pointing.

“Mhmm. This is my car,” I inform her, hitting the button on my key in my pocket to unlock the doors. Carrying Willa over to the back door on the driver’s side, I open it up to reveal the car-seat readily positioned and secured into place. Just as I’m about to place the little girl down in it, though, she begins to shake feverishly in my arms, big tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “Hey, hey-” I fuss quickly, bouncing her lightly against me. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? What’re the tears for?”

“P-please, no,” she begs, her eyes fixated on the car-seat.

“What- is it the car-seat? It’s okay, Willa, this is just to keep you safe while I’m driving,” I explain to her gently.

“Please, wait- n-no,” she whimpers. Bouncing the girl in my arms, my mind starts to race, the amount of distress she’s showing once again setting off alarms in my brain.

“What is it, sweetie? What’s so scary about it?” I ask patiently.

“Please n-not tie me down, please n-no,” she rambles, and finally all the pieces fall together in my head. At first, I thought the issue was that it was just a strange-looking seat, something she might not recognize, but now that she’s mentioned the restraints, her anxiety makes a lot more sense.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart. These are just seat-belts; they keep us safe while the car’s moving. I wear one, too, while I’m driving,” I tell her as I lift the padded straps on the plastic seat, trying to show her that there’s nothing to fear. “Remember we wore them in the jet with Bucky? No one’s tying you down, doll. You’re okay.”

As I continue to hum and coo comfortingly to her, I reach out and settle her down into the seat, my heart aching as she squirms against me. I slide her arms through the shoulder straps, reaching down and finding the buckle between her legs. “P-please,” Willa continues to sob, “p-please, no- d-don’t hurt me.”

“Shhh sweetheart,” I soothe gently, “you’re okay; I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe, Willa-bug. Always safe with me.” Finishing up the clips, I finally pull my hands away, giving the little girl a moment to adjust to the seat. Her big green eyes stare fearfully up at mine, still flooded with tears; reaching out, I run a hand over her hair gently. “See? Not scary,” I coo.

But instead of repeating it back, the child only squeezes her eyes shut, whimpering out another frightened “please.” My hand trails down and brushes softly against her cheek, but before I can say anything more to try to comfort her, a familiar red glow begins to rise up across her tear-soaked skin.

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4rainynite · 3 years ago

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Infinity Train Headcanons

Just a bunch of Infinity Train headcanons I've come up with, I'm only doing five per character so it won't too long. I'm mainly gonna focus on the passenger characters and do the denizens later on. Majority of them have been posted on @infinity-train-headcanons already (awesome blog by the way), but whatever here we go:

Tulip

The reason Tulip loves onions so much is because when her mother was pregnant she craved onions a lot. Mrs. Olsen thinks onions are okay at best, but Tulip loves them.

Tulip is fairly athletic (that explains why she could do all those stunts on the train), but prefers gaming and coding. Her classmates that are on sports teams are greatly annoyed that she won't join.

Despite Lake being gone she can still take pictures of herself on cameras or through a selfie (and sometimes see herself in water), because those are images not reflections.

Tulip would so adopt a corgi and name him “Atticus the 2nd” and put miniature crowns on him.

When Tulip goes to Oshkosh she'll based her game on her adventures on the train. Not only will it be super popular, but some of the other campers and counselors will suggest some cars because some of them were passengers as well.

Lake

After, Lake left she accidently started a revolution in the Chrome Car. In the end (in a future fanfic of mine) there will be peace and Lake and a certain group of passengers will help.

Lake won't be able to start school immediately (due to Tulip being in middle school and Jesse being in high school) , but she is able to do homeschooling. Come next school year she'll be at school with Jesse

Lake lives in the Cosay's attic. They've tried to convince her/him/them (other pronouns) to take the guest room, but Lake's cool with it. Mainly, because she/he/they gets a view of the lake she/he/ they named themselves after.

Lake is super into art! It's mainly abstract and black, but she loves it! The problem is Jesse's parents have to buy the spray paint for her.

Lake loves traveling to new places and Jesse brings her/him/them along when the swim team travels to different places.

Jesse

After, the train Jesse decides to join theatre class/club. He mainly gets background or understudy parts, but he loves to sing.

Is a Chicken Choice Judy fan and gets Lake and Nate into them. Jesse and Lake theorize that Chicken Choice Judy were passengers at one point.

Jesse becomes closer with his swim team to be friends, he is currently co-captain.

Jesse really misses Alan Dracula, so, Lake got him one of those deer plushies as a gift. Jesse put glasses on it and named it Alan Dracula the Second and Cuddliest.

Jesse always picks vampire movies during movie night at the Cosay house. I believe he really likes vampires .

Grace

Grace's parents so would've sent her to boarding school after the shoplifting thing instead of just talking to her.

Grace will be the last former Apex member to leave the train due to her number still being high. In the meantime she still helps passengers lower their numbers.

There is no way Grace was the only person to form a cult on the Infinity Train. Grace's was just the longest surviving one of eight years, I won't explain why Grace's was the longest due to... cult stuff.

Grace rarely got to see her maternal grandparents, due to her mother wanting to reject her low-class upbringing. From what little memories she had, Grace misses them.

Grace regrets what she put Hazel through and wants her back, but she knows her leaving was for the best no matter how much it hurts.

Hazel

I don't know why but I see Hazel as a vegetarian.

When Tuba found her she was a baby, not a baby turtle, a baby- baby.

She and Amelia will be close, but will never have a true mother - daughter relationship. I know Amelia is trying to get better, but she admitted she's not a caretaker.

She'll sing Tuba's Lullaby to comfort herself in stressful situations and whenever she feels she'll forget her.

Hazel will be adopted by Ryan and Min-Gi when she gets off the train and Tulip, Lake, Jesse, and Nate will be like siblings to her. Okay, okay, okay, I know that's a very long shot, but Hazel deserves happiness!

Simon

Was a boy scout or took a survival class, I mean how else would he know about frostbite in Le Chat Chalet Car.

Probably went to way too many funerals as a child. I'm going by what he said to Hazel about neighbors brining casseroles.

Simon would get into fights with his teachers and classmates about being right about every little thing, even as a he was a narcissist.

Simon so had a crush on Grace way before their 'awkward middle school kiss' . After, Grace's betrayal whatever feelings he had were gone.

Was a fantasy nerd and wanted to be a fantasy writer. His trilogy book would've had his character based off himself being made a king.

Ryan

Ryan and his youngest brother are the only two in their family who wear glasses.

Is still on good terms with his ex-girlfriends (Disco Girl, Punk Girl, and Hippie Girl). Yeah, they broke up, but Ryan wasn't their worse ex and was nice to them. They love telling Min-Gi embarrassing dating stories.

He most likely had suicidal thoughts, once off the train he tells Min-Gi and gets help through therapy.

Despite not gaining attention during his solo gigs he did make a friend or two during his stops like the lesbian couple at the party in the Twin Tapes. Which helps spread Chicken Choice Judy's music.

Ryan is very strong despite his scrawny appearance, due to carrying equipment, changing tires, and other heavy lifting activities.

Min-Gi

Was diagnosed with dyslexia at an early age. His parents worried this would hamper him so they would hire a tutor after school when he wasn't playing with Ryan.

Is a really good cook, but his main specialties are Korean dishes (his mother taught him) and breakfast food (working at Dumpty's Diner).

Has an artistic side, but rarely used it except for the Chicken Choice Judy t-shirt. Later on he designs the covers for CCJ's CDs.

He most likely has a bunch of older cousins. I think Mr. and Mrs. Parks had Min-Gi late, so he's the baby of the cousins.

To me Min-Gi never shown in interest in dating or romance. His parents tried to set him up a few of their co-workers' daughters, but nothing ever happened afterwards. He does love Ryan though.

Amelia

I believe Amelia will get off the train, but when she does majority of her friends and family and friends will be gone and will return to the train.

Amelia will allow Hazel to play with the denizens while she works on the train. She may not be a caretaker, but she remembers being a child and children need to have fun.

I think Amelia was jealous of Min-Gi and Ryan, since the two remind her of Alrick and herself in their youth and what could've been if he lived. She dubs them 'Destiny Rubbish Duet'.

Amelia would monitor the Snow Car frequently to make sure One would never leave or any passengers interacted with him. But, the one time in thirty years she set her clock on the wrong time to wake up, allowing Tulip to find One-One.

The day Amelia picked out her wedding dress was the same day she got the news of Alrick's passing.

Well, that was a long post. I may do more in the future, so I'll just end it here.

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axwalker · 3 years ago

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Jealousy--One Shot

Book: The Royal Romance, Book 2. Engagement Tour.

Pairing: Drake Walker x Alexis O’Brien (MC)

WORDS: I’m using my WD golden ticket so 3,000 words.

POV: Dual

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SMUT!! 🍋🍋🍋 A very frustrating Drake and Alexis.

ALL MY FICS ARE +18 !!!!

I’m participating in the @wackydrabbles prompts. This week’s prompt is “I can’t do this anymore.”

I apologize for any grammatical errors.

Tags in the comments ;)

DRAKE

Standing next to my window, I admire the Roman ruins of the Palatine hills as the royal train rolls into Rome. I’ve always loved Italy, but something about this trip is getting to me. It might be the woman occupying the cabin next to mine. It might be the fact that my best friend is almost as crazy about her as I am. Almost. He can’t possibly care for her the way I do. I down the rest of my glass and pick up a simple shirt and a pair of pants for tonight’s banquet. Fuck the black tie.

Since O’Brien came back to court, I tried to avoid her as much as I could. As a result, I’d cut off a leg tonight just to lay eyes on her again. I crave her like a drug. I spent the last few days debating with myself, and each day I grow a little more desperate, my arguments growing wilder and less probable by the minute. “Maybe” is how every single thought began, each one borne of desperation. Maybe I can make Liam understand that I’m crazy about the woman he loves. Maybe he’ll understand that I’ve been lying for months. Maybe Alexis will realize that she wants a quiet life with me. It’s a weakness on my part; I just need to get through this banquet without giving into it.

Thank God there’s a bar. I’m going to need something to make this experience tolerable. I grab a whiskey and drink half of it before I even head to my table. I’m halfway there when my eyes meet Kiara’s. She’s been leaving me flirty messages since we built the barn to celebrate Liam’s engagement. She’s a beautiful and smart woman but I couldn’t be less interested.

“Come with me,” she says, pulling at my elbow. “I saved you a seat.”

At that very moment, Lexie walks in. She’s wearing a red silk dress that matches her lips, pours over her curves, and reveals only a hint of cleavage while allowing you to imagine what you can’t see too fucking easily. Her hair falls over her shoulders and down her back, highlighting her long neck and her gorgeous face. As always, I seem to settle on her mouth. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her wear red lipstick before, and, for some reason, this opens an entire box of fantasies. I want to see it soiled. To kiss her so hard that neither of us can breathe. To pull back and find that mouth ajar, panting, the lipstick a red blur around the edges., I want it so badly I’m not sure how I’ll get through the goddamn night without having it. My hands sliding that silk dress over her head, learning every inch of her the way I’ve dreamed about for months. Except right now, Lexie’s eyes are fixed on the point where Kiara’s arm is linked with mine, and her expression—sad and wounded—is like a knife to my chest. I step away from Kiara, grabbing my drink and draining it. “I’m sitting with Maxwell and Olivia,” I tell her firmly.

“Doesn’t Lexie look gorgeous?” Max asks. My eyes move across the room again. Her red dress shimmers, sticks on her curves. `

“She looks like she needs more clothes,” I complain.

“Olivia helped her choose that dress,” Max says with a brow arched. “It fits her like a glove.”

“Yeah,” I reply. “That’s sort of the problem.”

My gaze is still on her, though. Moving up from her hips to her waist to her breasts, back up to that mouth of hers. I picture it again; the lipstick smeared, her breathless under me. And then a single hand cups her hip bone, visible through the thin silk, and I’m ejected from my fantasy at high speed. My lust transforms into rage in a single breath. Fucking Signore Francesco Lombardi. When everyone finally takes their seats, I discover that she and Francesco are at the table on the other side of mine, giving me a painfully direct view of the two of them. Whenever she stands, his eyes are on her, devouring her. He paws at her when she returns, jumping to pull out her chair but managing to get his fucking hands over approximately sixty percent of her body when he does it. And if he tries to look down her dress one more time, I’m definitely taking him out. I don’t give a fuck about our diplomatic relationships with Italy. I go to the bar again and ask for another glass of Macallan. Tonight it’s either get drunk or completely lose my shit in front of hundreds of witnesses. Pretentious food and great speeches are given out that I don’t notice. She is more real to me than anything in this room or out of it, the only thing I can see. No one knows her fears like I do. No one knows how fragile she really is, how deeply sweet. How funny and smart and kind. But I know. And for all the fighting we’ve done, there aren’t two people in this room as made for each other as the two of us. My world is constructed entirely of rules about what I owe Liam –my education, my career, and so many other things. But somehow, it excludes the only thing that matters to me. Her. If it weren’t for how Liam feels about her, she’d be here with me tonight. I watch her say something to Liam, and he nods, his eyes telling her how he feels. Jealousy runs through my veins.

“Enough,” I say quietly as I stand. I don’t know what possesses me to follow her. I know, with every bone in my body, that I have no claim on her. But I saw that look in Liam’s eyes, the one that says he’ll do anything for her, and I found myself on my feet. She’s halfway down the hall by the time I reach her. She looks over her shoulder warily when she hears me, but she is too late. I’m already there. I grab her elbow before she has time to react and pull her into an empty office. She stiffens and pulls back, ready as always to fight. Eyes flashing and hands on her hips. Seething before I’ve even said a word. “You have no right to—” That’s when I cup her jaw and capture that mouth I’ve longed for the whole goddamn night.

ALEXIS

His mouth comes down on mine, demolishing my pathetic attempt to object. He seizes it thoroughly, with such certainty, as if he’s spent his entire life practicing for this precise moment. His hands raking back through my hair, his tongue finding mine as he presses against me. His mouth moves over my neck, and he groans, a noise of both despair and satisfaction.

“You didn’t want me a week ago, but now you do?” I start to push back, but he holds me tight against him.

“I just don’t want you stuck in a shitty ranch with a poor veterinarian when it all ends. It was never about not wanting you.” I know there are other reasons why I’m supposed to object, but they escape me. I’ve wanted this too long, his hands on my body, my skin pressed against his, and his mouth creating a trail of kisses down my neck. It’s right. I’ve known nothing in my life with such certainty as the fact that nothing in the world matters more to me. His hands move from my hips to my breasts, and then he pulls one strap of my dress down, trailing slow, open-mouthed kisses over my shoulder and collarbone, almost reverently. Nipping with his teeth and soothing it with his tongue. He pulls the dress down to my waist, unclasps my bra with a single hand. He cups my breasts, bringing his mouth to them in the same way, sharp and sweet at once and creating a need in me so intense that it borders on pain. I gasp and arch toward him, submitting entirely as my head falls backward against the wall. He pulls back just enough to see my face. His chocolate eyes are dark now as he searches mine, looking there for something he desperately needs. Permission. He wants permission. As if I’d ever tell him no.

“Yes,” I whisper. “Please.”

“You’re sure?” His voice is gruff with desire. And when I nod, he pushes the dress over my hips and allows it to slide to the floor. His hands follow, skating over my hips, down my thighs, and I stand before him now in nothing but panties and heels. “That fucking dress nearly killed me,” he says, smoothing my skin as he kisses me again. He pushes against me, his shirt against my bare skin, his erection pressed hard to my stomach, a quick pulse there as if he is desperate for friction. He slides his index finger under the elastic of my panties. The moment he touches me, my whole body jolts.

“Fuck,” he hisses, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “You’re already soaked.” His finger slips back and forth, lightly, in torturous circles before it pushes inside me.

“Oh God,” I whisper, my body bowing toward him. He adds a second finger, and this time his groan is louder than mine.

“Jesus, Lex,” he growls. “You’re going to be the end of me.”

I unclasp his belt and unzip his pants reaching down to pull him from the confines of his boxers. He is thick and heavy in my hands, hissing as my fingers wrap around him, tugging gently.

“Stop,” he exhales after a minute. “I’m not gonna last if you do that, and there are so many things I want to do to you first.”

He pushes my panties down and lifts me up almost simultaneously, turning to deposit me on the table behind us. He kisses me once, hard. “Lie back,” he commands. He drops to his knees, spreading my legs so I’m displayed before him. Suddenly, his fingers are joined by quick swipes of his tongue.

“Oh my God,” I gasp. “Drake … just—”

His mouth and tongue lick and brush and pull, creating flames that begin there and spread all the way to my toes. I try to move, but his free hand clamps down on my thigh, holding me in place.

“I’ve dreamed about doing this every goddamn night for months, Alexis. So let me.”

I can’t even nod in agreement because suddenly, everything inside me is building so quickly that I can’t tell where I am or where I’m going.

“Oh,” I gasp. And then his fingers push inside me and I explode with a cry of ecstasy and surprise, arching against his mouth. He doesn’t pull back, but instead slides his hands beneath my legs and tugs me closer, buries his face to create wave after wave of something I never thought would happen in the first place.

“Holy shit,” I breathe. He leans over to kiss me and when he does, I wrap my legs around his waist, bringing him against me so suddenly that he gasps in my mouth.

“Lexie,” he groans.

“Please,” I whisper. It seems impossible for anyone to be more satisfied than I am now, yet I still need the very thing Drake wants most, the thing he is so sure he shouldn’t give. He looks tortured and pulls back, but I tighten around him, pressing him against me. “Don’t even think about stopping right now.” He shifts his hips just enough that he is pressing right there, not inside me but mere seconds away from it. In a single pulse, he could be buried deep inside me.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice tight. “Do we need …”

“No,” I beg. “Just do it. I’m on the pill.”

He pushes in, barely. He’s so thick that already I’m stretched to the point of pain.

“Oh fuck, Lexie,” he whispers. “God, that’s so good. Just give me a minute, or this is going to be over before it starts.”

Finally, he moves once more, going slowly, a low noise deep in his chest as he finally shoves all the way in.

“Are you okay?” he asks between clenched teeth. I nod as I adjust to the size of him, pain still outweighing the pleasure. It’s when he starts to withdraw that the pain recedes as a burst of pleasure sucks the air from my lungs. It feels too good, something so vast and all-consuming it can’t possibly end well. I never finish this way but oh my God… If it were ever going to happen, it would be now. His next thrust is faster, more certain, but he stops entirely at my sharp inhale. “Did I hurt you, baby?” he asks.

“No.” He didn’t hurt me. He stunned me. His strokes come slow and rhythmic then, as he leans over, finding my mouth with the table bracing his weight, his arms taut. “I’ve wanted this for so fucking long,” he says, holding still inside me.

“Keep going,” I beg. “Don’t stop.”

“Patience,” he grins. “You have no idea how hard it is not to come right now.”

I grab his ass and push upward, ignoring his warning, thrilling at the low grunt he makes. “Alexis,” he growls, “goddammit.”

His hips jerk back and then forward, almost involuntarily. It’s all I need. I cry out as it happens again, everything inside me bursting. He thrusts quick and hard, desperate now, and then stiffens with a single guttural noise as he pushes in one final time. He falls against me, his mouth against my neck, his breath warm on my skin. It’s closer than I’ve ever been to another person, and I would like to stay here, just like this, forever. But after a moment, I open my eyes when I realize what we’ve done.

It’s a little like waking from a dream. What the fuck have I done? The best sex I’ve ever had and the biggest mistake I’ve ever made just occurred simultaneously. The guilt and astonishment collide with each other. It was wrong. No matter what other considerations there are, I just slept with Liam’s best friend.

I know I don’t owe Liam anything. I came to Cordonia to see if there was something between us beyond that kiss in New York, and there wasn’t. He’s engaged to Madeleine and I’m hopelessly in love with his best friend. Bu this isn’t about me. This is about Drake.

I just became that woman. The kind of woman that would stand between two brothers. The type of woman capable of breaking a lifelong friendship in a moment of lust.

I know that sooner or later, Drake will resent me, us, if he loses Liam. Somewhere inside, I knew that, but because I wanted him and was jealous of Kiara, I chose to ignore it. He looks up at me, and his smile fades.

“What are you thinking?” he asks. There’s dread in his voice. His jaw hardens. “You regret it.”

“Drake,” I sigh, nestling in his chest. “It’s not that. It was…amazing. I just need to figure this out.”

“Figure what out?”

I bury my face in his neck. I don’t want to be having this conversation with him. I wish there was a way he could just hold me and take me to his cabin and work this all out on my own later. But there’s not. “What happens next. I mean, it shouldn’t have happened. We both know that. Liam… “

“No,” he snaps, pulling away. “Do not bring him up. Are you really going to let the way it might look to everyone outside this room dictate whether or not it’s okay? This is about us, Lexie. No one else.”

Except it’s not everyone outside this room. It’s him. Until a week ago, Drake was determined to push me away. He didn’t want to betray his best friend. He told me over and over again that he wasn’t that kind of man. That he would never forgive himself.

I let my need obliterate every reasonable thought, as usual. And in doing so, I’ve let myself down and—far worse—I may have put Drake’s friendship with Liam at risk. I pull away and grab my dress and bra off the floor.

“We have to get back out there before someone notices we’re gone.”

He buttons his shirt. “So you want to go back and continue flirting with Liam like this didn’t just happen?” he asks.

It’s right then, at that precise moment, that I realize that no matter what happens, Drake and I will never be together. Liam will always be there, between us. Right now, in our post-orgasmic bliss, Drake is not thinking straight, but I know what he will be telling me tomorrow morning. Or at least how he will be feeling. Guilty.

“I can’t do this anymore.” I take a deep breath to calm myself. “So what matters most is that we both get through the banquet like nothing happened.”

“And then what?” He growls.

His anger doesn’t scare me. “Can we please just get through the next hour?” I ask. “Liam is out there. Olivia, Max, Kiara are out there. The most important thing either of us can do right now is to act like nothing’s wrong.”

He fastens his belt and moves to the door, his jaw rigid. He’s doing what I asked, but I hate that he’s leaving mad. I’m doing this for him. I don’t want him to lose the only relationship in his life that matters to him. “Drake, wait—”

“For what?” he demands. “I just fucked you on a table, and now you’re sending me on my way. What more could you possibly need to add to that?” With those parting words, he crosses the door and walks out, leaving me heartbroken.

#axwalker writes #drake walker #drake walker x mc #drake x mc #trr fanfic #drake x lexie #n*sfw #🍋🍋🍋#trr fanfiction

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years ago

Text

all this time

omg so i have not written in forever but then the bestie @goldensonlyangel did a writing challenge (CONGRATS ON 800!!!!!!!!!) and i got inspired so here we are :) I know it's not super long but i like how it turned out!!!

as always, if you don't like the dress i linked, just imagine something else! that's just the visual I had in mind :)

warnings: none

word count: 1.8k

"Macy, I don't have anything to wear," you sighed, holding the phone between your ear and shoulder as you poured a bowl of cereal. "You can borrow one of mine! Or i will literally buy you one. I'll do whatever it takes, you have to come!" "Why?" You whined. "I always feel so awkward. You know I love you, but everyone couples off and it's just weird." "But Harry's going to be there," she crooned, and you had never been more grateful that she couldn't see your face. Your face that was currently flaming hot at just the mention of him.

"I don't care," you lied. "He clearly doesn't like me, so I don't even want to try anymore." "You're wrong," she insisted. "We can all tell he has the biggest crush on you." "I don't think so," you said, even though your heart was fluttering at the idea. "Okay, I'll come. But you have to go shopping with me." "Of course!" She exclaimed. "Can we go right now?" "Give me an hour, and then I'll come pick you up."

-----

"How about this?" Macy asked, holding up the shortest dress you had ever seen. "That's basically just a shirt," you rolled your eyes. "Harry would love it," she grinned. "Harry won't care, because he doesn't like me," you said, trying to keep your voice level. You told yourself a long time ago that there was no point in getting your hopes up about him. You could never have him, so why hurt your own feelings? She shook her head, but seemed to get the hint that she should drop it for now. She pulled another dress off the rack, this time one that was much more your style. Your eyes lit up at her selection. "I like that one," you nodded. "I think it would look really good."

-----

"You look amazing!" She beamed, pulling you out of the changing room to stand in front of the full length mirrors. You couldn't help the smile that grew on your lips as you examined yourself in the mirror. "I do," you agreed. "Harry- I mean, everyone's going to love it," she said, blushing slightly at her slip up. You had to give her credit: she didn't give up easily.

-----

"You're here!!!" Macy screamed, rushing to the door and pulling you into a hug. "Of course I'm here!" you said, trying to match her energy. It wasn't an easy task; she had clearly had quite a few drinks tonight. She pulled away, holding you at arm's length to inspect your dress. "And you look amazing," she grinned. "Who helped you pick out that dress???" You smiled, shaking your head lightly. "I need a drink," you said, pulling back a bit more. "Of course!" she chirped. "Everything's set up in the kitchen. If you need anything else just find me!" Then she was off, pushing through the small crowd of people and right into the middle of the living room turned dance floor. You made your way to the kitchen, deciding you were much too sober to join her. You pushed open the door, hoping you would maybe see Bella, or Charlie, or any of the other girls you hadn't had the chance to catch up with lately. Instead, you ran directly into a broad chest belonging to none other than Harry, the man you'd had an unrequited crush on for years. "Oh- I'm so sorry!" you rushed out, grasping at the front of his shirt to steady yourself. He gasped slightly, reflexively gripping onto your arms to keep you from toppling over. "You alright?" he asked with a small smile. "I'm fine," you said, keeping your eyes on his chest as your face heated up to an almost painful degree. "Sure?" He asked one more time, ducking his head to meet your eyes. "I'm good," you said with a nervous laugh. "You can, um-" you glanced down to where his hands were still on your arms. "Oh!" He exclaimed, eyes going wide as he realized he was still holding onto you. "Sorry," he said, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks as he stepped back. "No, it's okay," you said quickly, not wanting him to feel bad. "I'm just- I'm gonna get a drink." He laughed, running a ringed hand through his hair. "Good idea. I think I need one too." He moved to stand next to you as you browsed the large selection of alcohol on Macy's table. "I think she might have a problem," you joked. "We might need to stage an intervention," he nodded very seriously before his face broke into a smile. "But," you said, reaching for a bottle of tequila, "She keeps us stocked for parties, so I can't bring myself to care too much." "Agreed," he grinned, reaching for the vodka. There were a few moments of silence as the two of you poured your drinks, and then Harry spoke again. "You look lovely tonight." His voice was soft, and he sounded almost nervous. "Thank you," you smiled. "I'll be honest, I didn't really want to come. Macy said I had to." "For once, I'm glad she's so pushy," he laughed lightly. "If she wasn't, I wouldn't have gotten to see you." Your heart sped up at his words, and it took you a second to fully process what he had just said. "I'm glad too," you said softly. "Why, um..." He cleared his throat before speaking again. "Why didn't you want to come?" "It's always just a little weird, you know?" you said, keeping your eyes on the drink in your hand. "Everyone pairs off by the end of the night and I kind of feel like a... seventeenth wheel." "I know what you mean," he nodded. "Like, I'm happy all our friends have found love, or whatever, but I also hate them juuuust a little bit." He pinched his fingers close together, squinting at you through the tiny gap. "Just this much." "Well, I'm glad it's only that much," you laughed. "But wait, since when are you not part of a couple? I thought you were with Ellie?" "No, we were never really together," he said, looking down at his drink as you had earlier. "I mean, I liked her, but apparently she didn't feel the same. She went off with Paul." "Oh," you said quietly, not sure how to respond to that. "Paul. What a skank." "Such a skank," he agreed, breaking into a laugh again. The warm feeling in your chest was probably partly from the alcohol, but you knew it was mostly Harry. Seeing him so happy, being the one who made him laugh... there was no better feeling. The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence again,

sipping on your drinks every so often. By the time you finished, the music from the other room had quieted considerably. It was now a slow song, and you had no doubt that when you left the safety of the kitchen, you would find couples wrapped up in each other, too in love to care about anyone else. Just the idea of it was enough to kill your slight buzz, and you sighed involuntarily. Harry didn't appear to notice. He seemed to be deep in his own head, thinking about something. Before you got the courage to ask him what was on his mind, he stood up straighter and cleared his throat. "Y/N... can I have this dance?" He held out one hand to you, the other sweeping behind his back in a formal gesture. You giggled at his attempt to act prim and proper, when you both knew that was the furthest thing from his real personality. "I would be delighted," you said, copying his tone as you put your hand in his. He led you out of the kitchen and onto the makeshift dance floor. Just as you had imagined, most of your friends were with their significant others, swaying slowly to the soft music. Harry pulled you close, resting his free hand on your waist, his fingertips brushing the skin of your back. You shivered at the feeling, reaching your other hand up to rest on his shoulder. "You know... I had a dream about you last night," he said, continuing to sway the two of you in a slow circle. "Oh yeah? What about?" He hesitated for a minute, looking into your eyes. "It was just like this," he said quietly. "Only better." "How was it better?" Your voice was quiet, almost a whisper. "Because you were mine," he breathed. "I finally got my head out of my ass and asked you to be mine." You could barely breathe at this point. Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you were sure harry could feel it from where his hand rested on your side. He didn't say anything though, he just keep his eyes on yours. "You want... you want me to be yours?" You asked, voice shaking slightly. "Would you?" He seemed just as nervous as you were. "I- yeah," you nodded, still staring at him. "I would." He breathed a sigh of relief. "I really like you," he admitted. "I have for a long time." "You have?" you asked in disbelief. "I've liked you for a long time." "Really?" He seemed just as surprised as you were. "We're really stupid, aren't we?" You laughed, dropping your head against his chest as you nodded. "We are." You felt him inhale deeply, and then his fingers were brushing your jaw, tilting your face back up to look at him. "Can I kiss you?" he asked softly, gaze flitting down to your lips before he met your eyes again. "Yes, you can," you said breathlessly. "Please?" He smiled, leaning closer and pressing his lips against your cheek. You nearly melted at the contact, brain short circuiting at the realization that Harry, the man you had loved for so long, felt the same way about you, and was standing here in your arms, about to kiss you. His lips lingered against your skin for a few seconds before he pulled away slightly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he sighed, giving you no more time to think about it before his lips were on yours. Your eyes slipped closed as his hand moved to your back, pulling you closer to him. He was gentle, his lips moving softly against yours as you pressed your fingers into his shoulder. He pulled back after a few seconds, resting his forehead against yours with a breathless laugh. "Can't believe i waited so long to do that," he sighed. "Neither can I," you said softly, turning your head slightly to kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you finally went for it." "Me too."

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x reader fanfiction #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harrystylesxyou #harry styles x you fanfiction #harrystylesxreader #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles x you #harry fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles/you fanfiction #goldens800fics

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inkandpen22 · 3 years ago

Text

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 4)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: swearing, angst

Part Summary: You wake up at the Chateau in JJ’s arms. When you receive a urgent call from Topper, you return to the Figure 8, much to JJ’s dismay.

Masterlist

You wake up to the sound of a faint buzzing. A small groan leaves your throat as you attempt to stretch out your limbs, but are trapped beneath the weight of an arm. Your eyes flicker open and adjust to the golden rays pouring in from the window. JJ doesn't even shift, completely unaware of your moving. You recognize the sound of your phone buzzing and dig around the recliner. You two must've fallen asleep during the movie. Kiara and Pope remain on the floor, sprawled out like starfish. The couch is empty, John B and Sarah are probably in his room. You finally manage to find your phone beneath JJ's hip. You do your best to slide it out without waking him. Slowly, you climb out of the chair, placing JJ's arm down gently.

“Hello?” You whisper, suppressing a yawn as you step out to the porch to not wake the others.

“Hey, Princess," Topper's worried voice echoes through the device. "Did I wake you?”

You settle down on the couch in a ball, shaking your head as if Topper can see you. “No, No, it’s okay," you lie for his sake. "Is everything alright?”

“It’s Rafe..." he sighs. "He kinda got outta hand last night and he hasn’t been to bed yet. He keeps saying he’s going to go to your house. I don’t think your parents should see him like this.”

“What?" Your brows scrunch together in confusion. Slowly, the events of last night are creeping back to you. You remember all of it, but some parts are only flashes like photographs. "I’m not even home.”

“Wait, where are you then?” Topper questions, sounding just as confused as you.

“I uh... I stayed at Sarah's," you conjure up on a whim.

“Okay..." he replies, not sounding fully convinced. "well do you think you could stop by my place or something? Rafe won’t shut up until he sees you. Thank God my mom left for Atlanta this morning. I can pick you up if you need.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll uh... I’ll borrow Sarah’s car or something. I’ll text you when I’m on my way," you determine.

“Okay, see you then," Topper agrees, hanging up the phone.

You drop the device in your lap, resting your forehead against your knees. None of this feels real. What are you even doing here? One minute you and Topper are stumbling out of the locker room and the next you're making out with JJ in a hammock. Holy shit, you made out with JJ in a hammock! Topper is going to kill you! He can't know. No, he can never know.

“Morning Baby," JJ greets as he steps out onto the porch. He rubs his eyes as he walks over to join you.

“Morning, sorry that I woke you up,” you apologize.

"Don't be." He plops down next to you, bringing his arm to rest between your tucked legs. His hand is warm against your exposed knee. A part of you wants to cling to him like a koala, but your mind is also on Topper. "Who was that?” He yawns.

“Topper," you answer truthfully, though it was hesitant. "Apparently, Rafe is acting out and keeps asking for me. I’m gonna head over there to calm him down a little."

“Wait, what!" JJ's eyes widen, processing what you said. "By yourself?”

“JJ, it’s okay! It’s just Topper and Rafe,” you snicker at his dramatic reaction.

“Yeah! Rafe!" He repeats, turning his body toward you. His arm between your legs moves to your back and is replaced with his free one. "The guy who gave you laced weed, Babe!"

Your lower lip pouts slightly as you're appreciative of his concern though it's not necessary. Impulsively, you bring your hand to his cheek and he leans into your touch subtly. “It’ll be fine, we’re not going to do anything. I’m just helping out Top. Once we get Rafe to chill I’ll be out of there.”

“I’m driving,” he names his terms sternly.

Your lips part as worry starts to build up inside you. “JJ, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I-“

“I wasn’t asking," he cuts you off sharply, his lips pressed together. “Either I go with you and wait in the car or you don’t go at all," he offers an ultimatum.

'Okay, that's hot,' you think to yourself.

You sit stunned for a second. As much as you hate the name, you're still the Princess of the OBX, no one talks to you like that or gives you ultimatums. Yet, you can't help but be utterly compliant when it comes to JJ Maybank.

“Okay," you nod, trying your hardest to not blush, but ultimately fail. "As long as there’s no Pogue vs. Kook fistfights," you add to the rules.

JJ notices your eyes wandering to his lips and leans forward with a smirk. “I can’t make any promises.”

You grin as JJ brushes his lips against yours, bringing you in for a kiss. When he woke up JJ was nervous that he fucked up last night and that you'd regretted everything. It's just JJ always assuming the worst to avoid disappointment. His arm on you was him testing the waters. After a second, once learning that you're not going to pull away, he deepens the kiss. Your fingers comb through his luscious hair and grip the roots slightly. His hand on your knee steadily glides down your skin, moving between your legs.

"Oh no!" You gasp against his lips, realizing something.

JJ jumps, breaking his lips from yours and flying his hands off. “Woah, what! Sorry!” He thought maybe his hand may have set you off or something. He’s not sure what your boundaries are or anything, everything is still so new.

“I don’t have a change of clothes!" You tell him.

“Jesus," he rolls his eyes, finally able to breathe again. "Wear my shirt you’re wearing,” he gestures to the black AC/DC shirt hanging on you.

You raise your eyebrows. “And have them start a fight? No way! They'll know it’s not mine," you explain stressfully.

"You're right, tell them it's your boyfriend's and to mind their own damn business," JJ determines with a carefree shrug. Only after a couple seconds does he process that he called himself your boyfriend, having not discussed that yet.

You raise your brows at his remark. A faint laugh escapes you, as if that would go over well with the boys. “As much as I would love to, I don’t think that would go well considering Rafe is already losing his mind.”

A rush of relief consumes JJ when you don’t reject him. In fact, he’s over the moon when you don’t deny that he’s indeed your boyfriend.

“So..." JJ drags out, gliding your fingers up and down your thigh. "Did you give Topper a specific time?”

“No, just that I’d be over as soon as possible." You smirk, already knowing what he's thinking. "Why?”

"Because if I remember correctly," he purrs into your ear with a smirk. "We were rudely interrupted last night..."

As much as you'd love to do what JJ has in mind, you owe it to Topper to show up at a decent time. "We have the rest of the day for that," you move back a little, much to JJ's disappointment. He groans, making you giggle. "If Rafe acts up any more than he already has and goes to my house I'm royally screwed."

"Okay, fine! Fine!" He rises up from the couch and offering you a hand. "But I'm holding you to your word! I expect full tomfoolery later!"

"Deal." You lean in and plant a peck to his lips, making him blush.

JJ grabs the keys to the Twinkie while you wait outside. You go over the plan multiple times on the way over, mainly to ease your nerves. JJ will park a few yards down the road, hidden behind the hedges that line Topper's yard. You will tell Topper that Sarah dropped you off and that you'll walk home because you live a few blocks away. Checking on Rafe will only take twenty minutes tops, but you're aiming for fifteen. You've done this before, taking care of Rafe. Get sick, chug Pedialyte, have Mcdonald's delivered, and put him to bed.

You text Topper as soon as you're on your side of the island.

Heading over now!

A minute later, you receive a response.

Awesome! See you soon! Thanks again Y/N/N. Owe you one!

JJ does exactly as planned, making sure the Twinkie can't be seen from Topper's house. Reluctantly, he lets you out without him. He warns though that if you don't text him or give him some sign that you're okay within the ten-minute time slot he's given that he'll come in after you. You promise that you'll text him a smiley face as soon as you get the chance.

You knock on Topper's front door a few times and wait for the tall boy to answer. After a few minutes you call for your friends. "Top! Rafe!"

"I don't want you! I want Y/N!" You hear from the backyard and make your way back.

"She's on her way!" Topper shouts.

"Dude! Just sit down!" You hear Kelce add.

"Guys?" You pop your head around the corner and find Rafe standing on the edge of Topper's pool, fully clothed in his suit from the night before.

"Y/N! Finally!" Rafe gleams, gripping a bottle of champagne in his hand.

"Thank God," Topper grumbles to himself as he approaches you. "Thanks again for coming," he greets with a kiss to your temple.

"Of course," you smile as you move toward Kelce. You give him a quick side hug as you greet everyone. "When did you get here?"

"About five minutes ago," he answers, breathless from trying to keep Rafe from jumping in. "Apparently I'm not good enough because he keeps asking for you."

"Hey, Rafe, what's up?" You call over to the boy as stumbles over to you.

"Geez, you are the most gorgeous girl in the OBX," he grins.

"Oh am I now? What have you been up to?" You asking, knowing the answer. He smells of weed, sweat, and stale alcohol. His suit will no doubt need some serious dry cleaning.

"Eh, nothing too exciting," he waves his hand and places an arm over your shoulder. "After you disappeared from the party the boys and I went back to do a few more lines. It wasn't as fun without you. Where did you go anyway? We looked all over for you."

JJ crosses his arms over his chest. "Yeah, where'd you go?" He repeats as if you didn't explain it before on the phone.

You frown at your best friend. Why is he acting like that? "Sarah convinced her parents to give her the car and she took me to her house while her parents were are the party," you repeat the story you rehearsed with JJ.

"But Sarah was still at the party after we lost you. She told your parents that you left..." Topper replies slowly, almost as though he's accusing you of something.

"Yeah, I was waiting in the car," you answer without hesitation.

"Right..." Topper nods with narrowed eyes.

You roll your eyes at Topper and bring your arm around Rafe. "Let's get you inside."

"I wanted to go for a swim," Rafe whines.

"That sounds so fun," you pretend, silently begging him to go inside without any retaliation. "Sadly, I didn't bring my suit."

"Come on, Y/N, it's not like I haven't seen you in your underwear before," Rafe chuckles as you cross the threshold of the sliding door.

"Nice, Rafe," Topper sarcastically remarks.

"Oh no, I think I'm gonna be sick," Rafe coughs, hutching over next to you.

"I got this one," Kelce shouts, moving to get his friend toward the bathroom.

Now that Rafe is inside and in the "get sick" stage, you move on to ordering him McDonald's. Knowing Topper's house like the back of your hand, you walk into the kitchen, leaving the boy in the living room. You hop onto the counter, your legs dangle over the edge. As you tap through your phone, Topper enters the room.

"Are you feeling better?" He checks on you with a smile, a complete 180 from the attitude he was giving you minutes before. "I was out of it but I vaguely remember us stumbling out of the locker room," he chuckles.

"Yeah we kinda went a little too far last night," you giggle, recalling the memory. "But I feel much better."

Topper nods, offering you a faint smirk. He parts your legs, resting his palms on your thighs. "I'm surprised Ward let you and Sarah take his new Porsche considering he won't even let Rose drive it."

Your heart races, shit. You didn't realize Ward took the Porsche to the party. When Sarah got to John B's she was in a BMW.

"He must've had a lot of whiskey or something," you ramble out.

The boy nods, bringing his hands to your hips. "Interesting... and-" Topper scrunches his brows together, glancing down at your body. "What are you wearing right now?"

Shit.

"It's uh... Sarah's," you blurt out what JJ said before you can think it through.

"Sarah owns a ripped-up AC/DC shirt?" Topper snickers, not believing you for a second.

"What? You don't?" You try to play it off.

"Did you end up borrowing Sarah's car?" He changes the subject quickly, making your furrow your brows.

"She dropped me off," you stick to your story.

"That's nice of her," Topper comments, stepping closer to you. Usually, you'd like having him so close, but there's an underlying tension between you that makes you anxious.

"For sure," you mutter, avoiding his gaze.

"So you need a ride home?" He offers.

"Nah, it's okay. I'll walk," you rush out.

Topper brings his hand to the collar of your shirt, his fingertips gliding across your collar bone to rest on the side of your neck. "I kinda needed to see your brother anyway."

You swallow hard, trying to remain calm. "For what?"

"We're supposed to go out to the course later," he matches your quiet tone.

"Cool," you nod faintly, starring down at your lap.

"You and that Pogue seemed friendly last night before I came over... " Topper insinuates.

Your head snaps up, meeting Topper's burning gaze. "Pogue? What Pogue?"

"The one bartending," he snickers mockingly.

"The blonde kid? Oh, not really," your brows scrunch together, nervously fidgeting with your phone case. "I only met him last night, didn't even catch his name," you lie.

Topper tilts his head to the side. "Isn't he friends with John B? He's been around the Cameron's place a few times."

"I haven't noticed," you shrug.

You can't tell whether he believes you or not. His stern expression never wavering. You feel trapped with his hands gripping your hips.

"He's certainly noticed you, hasn't he?" The boy remarks with a wicked smirk as he stares at your lips.

You shift your head back, taken aback by his words. "What does that mean?"

"Oh come on, Y/N," Topper mutters your name, not one of his usual nicknames. "You're telling me you didn't notice him looking you up and down? It's why I came over to the bar after your dance with Rafe. I already had a full whiskey on the table."

You snicker at the information, utterly amazed by the lengths Topper will go. "You ordered a drink just because you thought JJ was "too friendly" with me?"

Topper narrows his eyes at you curiously. "I thought you didn't know his name?"

Chills course over your skin as your breath hitches in your throat. Now, you remember that you haven't texted JJ and you're not sure how long it's been.

"You want to tell me what's really going on, Y/N?" Topper presses.

"Nothing's happening! I've gotta go," you snap, pressing a hand to his chest to urge him off of you.

Topper grabs your wrist, removing your hand from him. Abruptly, he slams his lips to yours. Desprately, he brings his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him.

"Get-" you mutter against his lips as you try to fight him off. Instinctively you punch him in the chest, causing him to break from you. "Get off of me!" You gasp, hopping down from the counter as Topper stumbles back. "What the hell Topper!"

His eyes grow wide, comprehending what he's done. He reches for you, but you cower away. "Y/N, I-"

"No!" Your voice cracks as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. "You don't just get to do that whenever you feel like it! I'm not at your disposal when you want me!"

He nods frantically. "I know that! I didn't-"

"Ugh, whatever Top. I'm tired of this interrogation! You and Kelce can babysit Rafe without me!" You wave your hands as your march out of the room toward the front door.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" Topper calls after you. "Y/N!"

He follows you out the front door to the driveway in a panic. He can't believe he just kissed you, the one thing he swore he'd never do without your permission. He was just so desperate. He could feel you moving away from him and was panicking that maybe you were keeping something from him.

"Y/N!" Topper wraps his fingers around your wrist.

You yank your arm free as you spin on your heels to face him. "Don't grab me!"

"Don't walk out on me!" He barks, instantly regretting it.

Topper knows this isn't the way to get to you, but he's just so worried that you're slipping away. This wouldn't be the first time you two have fought this way, having it out in front of one of your houses. Similar to an old married couple, you two fight as passionately as you love each other.

"You don't own me, Topper!" You remind the boy.

"I'm just looking out for you!" He reasons in a shot.

"You're the one who's acting like my dad right now!" You scoff.

"Oh!" He laughs mockingly. "Is that what being an overbearing friend is called now?"

You huff, turning over your shoulder to continue down the driveway.

Topper stays where he is, yelling at you as your march away. "You know what, fine! Don't tell me what's going on! I just thought we were closer than that! I must've misunderstood all of last year, all of those late-night conversations and that weekend in Bermuda or all of winter break!"

"Oh, my lord!" You groan, tossing your head back as you stop in your tracks. "Stop being so dramatic!"

"What's he doing here?" Topper questions, his volume at a normal level.

You frown, following his eyes as they linger behind you. Turning over your shoulder, you spot JJ standing at the end of the driveway.

You hide your face in your hands. "Oh, Jesus-"

"You have to be kidding me!" Topper shouts with a chuckle of frustration.

"JJ, can you give us a minute?" You request calmly, giving the blonde a weak smile.

"You brought him! You bring a Pogue!" Topper can't help but laugh, shocked by how this day has gone to complete shit in a span of fifteen minutes.

Nervously, you rush over to Topper, pressing your hands to his chest. "Top, just go inside, okay!" You try your best to keep the situation civil. "I'll be inside in a minute-"

"You're on the wrong side of the island, Pogue!" He points to JJ over his shoulder.

"Just stick a cork in it, Prince Charming," JJ bites back from his spot.

You huff, using all your strength to push a stubborn Topper toward the front door. He towers over you and is much stronger than you, so it's a tall task.

"Prince Charming? Really!" Topper laughs. "Wow, got a real smartass here, Princess," he tells you.

"Just for the love of all that good and holy go inside!" You beg of him with a grunt as you continue to guide him inch by inch.

"Not until you get this trailer park trash off my driveway!" Topper bitterly remarks, loud enough for JJ to hear.

"JJ and I will go as soon as we're done here," you tell him calmly with a huff, giving up on moving him.

You step back, preparing to leave, but Topper grips your forearms. "No way you're leaving with him! No, you're staying here with us!"

When Topper grabs you, JJ loses all cool and storms toward your friend. "Touch her again and I'll kick your ass, Kook!" JJ likes to think he's been rather rational and on his best behavior up until this point considering Topper is treating you as his property.

"JJ! Don't!" You intercept the boy and though he could easily move you aside, he remains in your arms.

"As if I'd leave her with your tripped-out friend and cluster of misogynistic asshole!" He points at Topper aggressively.

"You don't know a thing about us, Pogue!" Topper pushes.

"Topper! Enough! JJ back off!" You instruct sharply.

With a growl, JJ walks back down the driveway, refusing to turn his back on the Kook. Cooling down slowly, he takes your hand, squeezing it tightly as he leads you toward the sidewalk.

"You leave with him now and we're done!" Topper declares, making you stop in your tracks. "I mean it! You leave now and you're a Pogue!"

"You don't mean that," you shake your head in disbelief.

He laughs wickedly, "I promise you I do! It's them or us! You can't have both, Y/N!"

It feels as though Topper has sucked all life from you. The light that he's kept going inside of you for so long has burned out. He's been your reason to be happy since you were kids and now he's threatening to desert you forever. All because you're falling for a Pogue.

Kelce and Rafe appear in the archway of the front door. Kelce frowns, "what's going on out here?"

"What's that Pogue doing here?" Rafe questions. He sees your grieving expression and his wild antics become a distant memory. "Y/N?"

You swallow hard, clenching your jaw in disgust at the Kook you once called your best friend. "Ask Topper!"

You yank your hand free of JJ's and run down the driveway in the direction of the Twinkie. JJ jogs after you worriedly. He unlocks the car and you rush to get in. As soon as you sit down, you hunch over in your seat, your head cradled in your hands. JJ climbs in next to you and starts the car. He glances over at you and a wave of guilt consumes. He can't help but think this is all his fault. If he hadn't gone to check on you, maybe Topper wouldn't have said what he did. You wouldn't be devastated and you'd acknowledge his presence.

JJ places a hand on your back. "Baby-"

Before JJ can finish you cower away from him, moving your body toward the window. His heart drops as a million worst-case scenarios start to play in his mind. You hate him. You hate him now because he cost you, Topper. Of course, he already thought about what it would mean if you had to choose between him or Topper. He just had a naive inkling of hope that maybe you'd choose him and be okay, be happier with him. Now, he realizes by your disgust of him that you would've chosen Topper if Topper didn't push you toward JJ.

_________________________________

The ride back to John B's is painfully silent. JJ had to turn on the radio five minutes in to drown out the overwhelming self-deprecating thoughts ringing in his mind. As soon as JJ rolls up to the end of the gravel driveway, you see the Pogues and Sarah gathered around the old bonfire eating breakfast. Not wanting to see them, you hop out, the car not even in park yet.

"Hey guys! Where have-" Sarah stops as she sees you run into the house. JJ climbs out of the van and slams the door shut, grumbling various cuss words to himself. "What's wrong with Y/N?" Sarah asks him once he's closer to the group.

"Topper called her this morning," the boy answers, pressing his lips together as he sits on an empty log. "Your brother was acting up and wouldn't chill out until he saw her. Long story short, I fucked up and intervened when things got tense with her and Topper," JJ hisses, clasping his hands together. "Topper told her that if she left with me that they wouldn't talk to her again so we left..."

The group is silent, exchanging worried glances. Sarah's jaw is nearly in the dirt. She never thought in a million years that Topper would ever say those words to you. JJ's knee shakes up and down as he hides his head above his knees. He rises to his feet, picking up an empty can from last night, and chucks it into the words with all his strength. "Y/N won't even fucking look at me!"

"That's not your fault, JJ," Kiara assures her friend, breaking the silence. "You did the right thing! Topper is a jerk!"

"She'll come around. It's probably for the best that she's cut off from them. Those guys aren't good for her," Sarah adds.

JJ exhales deeply, facing Sarah. "Do you know what happened last year or in Bermuda and Topper said something about winter break?"

"Oh..." the girl's face falls.

"What is it? Is it bad?" John B asks from beside her.

"Not exactly. Topper and Y/N... Well..." she struggles to come up with the right words.

You and Topper struggle to navigate your way through the pitch-black bungalow. You two have just gotten dropped off from the cantina in town. Half an hour before, Topper was doing body shots off of you. The boy leads you through the house, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. Through the moonlight, you notice a pillar right in Topper's path.

“Watch out!” You gasp, tugging Topper back.

“Oh shit!” He stumbles into you, pinning you against the wall.

“I told you to watch out!” You giggle and peek around the corner into the living room. “Oh my god!” Your hand flies up to your mouth.

“What! What is it?” Topper rushes out.

“Rafe and that girl from Brazil,” you whisper, suppressing your laughter.

“No way! You’re kidding!” Through the darkness, you can see Topper's eye grow wide as he steps to the side to see around the corner.

“On the couch!” You instruct drunkenly.

“Did they?” He wonders.

“I have no idea!” You giggle.

“Holy shit!” Topper laughs as he returns to stand in front of you.

“He was blasted tonight,” you remember. “Poor Kelce went to bed as soon as we got back."

“I didn’t mind it,” Topper mutters, gliding his fingertips up and down your arm. “Kinda liked it being just us...”

“Topper,” you whisper his name warningly, a smile on your lips.

“What?” He chuckles lightly, leaning in closer to you.

You shake your head, finding it hard not to blush. “We broke up almost a year ago. You and Sarah-“

“Are broken up," he finishes.

“Yeah, and remember how devastated you were no more than two weeks ago?" You try to reason with him. "You still need to heel and figure out what you want.”

“I want you," he whispers, brushing lips against yours.

“Top, I don’t think-“

Before you can finish, he kisses you softly. It's not the first time and you know in the back of your mind it likely won't be the last.

“You’re all I think about, Y/N,” he confesses against your lips. “I need to feel you again. I miss the way you taste.”

“Top...” You mutter breathlessly.

You shake your head, despite not stopping him. “We shouldn’t...”

“We deserve to, don’t we? After everything?" He reasons, tucking his fingers over the band of your panties. "You like me and I like you, we’re both single, there’s history, why can’t we?”

A million reasons cross your mind, the most important one, your friendship. You and Topper have always been complicated. Things get worse when you add sex to the mix, which is exactly why you two formed boundaries a while back. Then again, you two toss those boundaries out the window every time you drink too much.

One hand remains on your waist as the other slips down to the hem of your dress. His warm fingertips glide under the fabric, against your thigh. “Don’t you miss it? How we used to be? When we couldn’t get enough of each other," he smirks as a memory pops into his head that he's certain will get to you. “Our ski trip over Christmas.”

“Okay yeah, you win," you rush out, instantly pressing your lips to his desperately.

Topper snickers against your lips as he tucks his hands behind your legs and picks you up. Your legs wrap around his waist he just so happens to know effortlessly the direction to his room now. Though he was completely lost minutes before.

"They dated!" Pope's jaw nearly hits the gravel.

"No way!" John B wears a similar expression.

"Yes and no. It's more complicated than that," Sarah tries to explain

Kiara struggles to piece together the picture. "But I thought you two-"

"They were friends with benefits before we were dating. Then, when Topper and I started dating, they stopped. Topper and I took a break in the winter and they started up again but stopped after Y/N decided that she couldn't do it anymore. Finally, they all went to Bermuda for a week after Midsummers. They didn't plan on anything happening, according to Y/N, but it kinda just did. They've always had "a thing" for each other. It's only ever been a fling though," Sarah finally manages to lay out the hectic story.

"And you're okay with that?" Kiara frowns, wondering how Sarah fits into all of that.

"Nothing happened while we were together," she shrugs but is certain of her words. "I know without a doubt that Y/N would never do that to me. Plus, it was never dating-like... it was more hook-up-ish if that makes sense?"

"This is insane!" JJ finally voices his perspective, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

"I need a diagram," Pope adds.

"Wait, so Topper and Y/N are on-and-off again. Meanwhile, Rafe has a thing for Y/N. Does Kelce play a role in any of this?" John B brings up a good point.

Sarah shakes her head. "Not that I know of."

"That's one fucked up love triangle," Pope releases a pent-up sigh.

"This is why we have the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule. That friend group is a mess!" Kiara reasons.

"Topper and Y/N have always been super close," Sarah describes solemnly considering the recent turn of events. "She must be devastated! Even if he is an ass. He's only ever been good to Y/N. I was low-key jealous of her when I first started seeing Topper. He holds her up on this pedestal," she admits.

Suddenly, the screendoor creaks, making everyone turn their attention toward the house. Y/N marches out, back in her dress from last night.

John B breaks the silence. "Hey Y/N! Where are you-"

"Sarah, can you drive me home?" You ignore the boy on your way to Sarah's car, unlocking it.

Sarah stands slowly from her position. "Sure, but don't you-"

"Thanks!" You cut her off, already climbing into the passenger seat and putting the keys into the ignition.

"I'll... I'll be back later," Sarah stammers in confusion to her friends.

Everyone watches as Sarah back out of the driveway then turns their focus to a devastated JJ.

"I fucked it up. I fucked it up!" He screams, squeezes his hands into fists until his knuckles are white.

"JJ, it's okay! She probably just needs a minute," Kiara rushes out.

"I have her for two seconds!" He bursts, his face becoming red with frustration. "Two fucking seconds and I ruined it just like I ruin everything else!"

"Just give it time!" Pope tries to reason with him calmly.

"Goddammit!" JJ curses before bolting toward the driveway and out of sight.

"JJ!" His friends all call for him.

"JJ come back!" John B shouts to receive no response. "Well this day is officially shit," the boy huffs as he settles back down onto his log.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kiara worries.

"Hope so," John B whispers.

After Sarah drops you off, you hide away in your room for the rest of the day. All you do is cry. You already miss Topper more than anything. You need him. You'll always need him. Then, on top of that, you're torturing yourself for how you treated JJ. None of this is his fault, but you treated him like it was. You cowered from him to keep from crying. You didn't want to scare him away, but in the process, you pushed him away. While you're losing your mind, JJ is losing his outside his dad's house with a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He's looking to pick a fight. He figures that if he's in pain physically that the pain he's inflicting on himself mentally will go away. You started the day wrapped up in each other and in bliss. You're ending it both in pain and willing to do anything to make it go away.

________________________________________________________

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Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things @hockeybabe87

#obx fanfiction #obx jj #obx #rafe obx #topper obx #outer banks #topper outer banks #topper imagine #topper #john b routledge #kiara #pope #sarah cameron #rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #fanfic

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