#probably end up not doing anything there either

[corvus-frugilegus]

The real tragedy of the Dellamortes is how inevitable Illario's betrayal was.

Caterina's refusal to really see either of her grandsons for who they are sets all three of them on this path. Lucanis's mother was Caterina's favourite, she was probably the person Caterina had in mind to succeed her. That loss, the loss of so much of Caterina's legacy had to have been devastating. She'd built so much and it was all torn away in a single conflict. All she has left in the wake of it is two young boys and this tenacity that will not allow her to give up on what she's built.

So she puts it all on Lucanis. The son of her favourite (bonus angst if he looks like his mother). She's unable to see this sweet boy who loves wyverns and just had his life ripped apart for who he is. She just see's her legacy. The daughter she lost. She puts it all into him, he's pushed into the role of favourite.

Lucanis responds to this by shoving down the parts of himself she doesn't want to see- his gentle heart, his love of wyverns, the little boy who needs to be loved. If he's good enough, strong enough, the perfect crow, the perfect granson- then and only then will she love him, will he be safe.

And then you have Illario! There isn't as much to go on in the text about his family or what he was like as a boy but there's a few things we can pretty confidently infer. Like Lucanis, Illario violently loses everything he has at a very young age. All he has left are the other two Dellamorte's.

But he isn't the child of Caterina's favourite. She isn't automatically putting all of her legacy on his shoulders the way she does Lucanis. He still gets the training, and what we do see in the wigmaker job and the wake and even in the codex entires in the game is that Illario does become a comptent and capable crow. He has a level of skill that I suspect is broadly expected of house Dellamorte, he was trained by the first talon herself. But the Illario we meet as an adult has this laissez-faire affect and presents himself as a seducer and a bit of a peakcock. He also very overtly refers to himself as Dellamorte-the-lesser and at the end of the wigmaker job when they're discussing the title of first talon you can feel the resentment below the surface.

For Illario it's not about the power and the prestige that comes from the title of first talon. It's not even about having the title itself. It's about FINALLY earning Caterina's love and respect. Things he undoubtly never felt as a boy.

How could he? When he's a child the only two people he has left in the world have this special bond that he never gets to be a part of. His only caretaker has a clear favourite and she shows it. He's lived his whole life in Lucanis's shadow, and a shadow that Lucanis never wanted to cast! Which if anything just adds insult to injury for Illario.

Lucanis has everything Illario wants and he doesn't even want it.

I imagine as a boy Illario tries SO HARD to win her love, her favour, he'll do anything to feel like he's loved and wanted and valued. And when after YEARS it doesn't work even though Lucanis clearly doesn't want the role he's been forced into? Illario gets resentful, he gets angry, he starts acting up. He becomes the suave peacock, the grandson who fucks up sometimes- probably not because he's bad at being a crow but because at least Caterina's ire is attention. It's a scrap of love.

Illario and Lucanis love each other. They're brothers. Illario resents Lucanis for being loved and favoured. Lucanis wants nothing more than to give it all to Illario. Illario doesn't want that he wants Caterina to love him on his own merit. At the same time (pre-inner demons) Lucanis will never actually give the title up because it means he's loved, he's valued, he matters.

The title of first talon has been synonymous with emotional safety and love for these two for their entire lives, and it's twisted them up so badly.

The real irony of it all is that this whole time Illario is so much more like the person Caterina wants Lucanis to be. Her heir, the Dellamorte best suited to be the next first talon has been right there infront of her all along, but she's so caught up in grief and legacy she misses it. She never really see's either of her grandsons for who they are.

I actually suspect that when it all comes to light, even though she's furious with him, Caterina finally starts to see what she's been overlooking in Illario all along. And Lucanis who's started to heal... well I think she's starting to see him too, and the truth of who he is is something she'll struggle to face.

When the day finally comes that Lucanis tells her he doesn't want the job, when him and Illario both accept that their lives have meaning outside of Caterina's opinion of them, is the day that the Dellamorte's can maybe start to really see each other.

[disparatemind]

Link to pinned post with all parts here

Part 11

“So… am I in purgatory?” asked the soul when I'd brought over a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

“I guess you could call it that. I call it the realm between Life and Death, or the in-between. Essentially the concept is the same.”

A small sigh escaped the soul. “Now I'm afraid I may not go where I was hoping,” they said.

“Don't be discouraged. This isn't what I was expecting either.” Memories and fears tried to surface in my mind, but I pushed them down. “Do you remember your name?”

“It was… Sam.”

“I'm glad to meet you, Sam. I'm sorry that one of the other patrons made your welcome less pleasant than it should have been.”

“That's alright,” Sam answered. “I can't say I blame them, in light of the current… ah, circumstances.”

I raised an eyebrow and studied this easy-going soul for a moment. “You seem to be taking this rather calmly,” I said. “What you're feeling is none of my business, but if there's anything you'd like to talk about, I'm all ears.”

A small smile appeared on Sam’s face. “I appreciate that, but honestly, even though this isn't what I was expecting to see, I have faith I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.”

I nodded. “Until then, let me know if you'd like a refill or something to eat.”

“Thank you. You're a kind soul.”

“So are you, Sam.”

Leaving Sam at the counter with his coffee, I eyed the section of the cafe where Wade had taken the other newly-arrived soul. Taking a small breath, I headed over and nodded.

“Hello again. I'd like to properly introduce myself. My name is Rose, and this is my cafe. You're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, provided you remain respectful of others. You're welcome to ask me anything, but I may not have all the answers.”

The soul glanced at Wade, who was seated across from them and looking like he wasn't about to move any time soon.

“Would you mind bringing me a cup of coffee? As strong as you can make it?” came the carefully polite reply.

“Sure thing. Would you like anything to eat?”

“I doubt you'd have it, but a poppyseed muffin would be nice.”

“I've got some from a batch I made earlier—I’ll be right back. Coffee black, right?”

A startled nod.

“Isn't she great?” Wade beamed as he settled back and put his arms behind his head.

Smiling and shaking my head as I went back to the counter, one of the other patrons drew my attention for a refill, and by the time I finally returned to Sam, his cup was empty.

“Sorry about that,” I said as I poured some fresh brew into his cup. “I try not to let my patrons’ cups get completely empty.”

“No apologies necessary,” Sam said. “This coffee is probably the best I've ever had.”

I thanked him with a smile. “And you're one of the politest souls I've ever waited on,” I replied.

As I went back out into the cafe to bring everyone their refills and plates, I couldn't help but hope within my heart that Sam found the peace he was looking for, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was sorely missed by the family he'd left behind.

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

[rowie264]

For me it's easier to sympathize zaunite characters rather than piltovan ones simply because they have self-awareness

Silco knows he flooded Zaun with drugs, he knows what this shit does to people. He does it anyway to achieve his main goal - Nation of Zaun.

Jinx is aware she is crazy. She basically spells it out in s1 ep9. She knows that she killing ppl is bad. She just doesn't care

Sevika is Silco's right hand man. She does dirty job for him and and understands perfectly well how his methods affect Zaun. She doesn't even question it because his methods work, and as long as they work, she will work with him.

Singed is just the same. He'll do anything for his daughter no matter how horrific his actions are. He doesn't justify it, simply states it was "for love".

And what we have with piltovan characters? You see because s2 is trying to pretend that oppression wasn't such big thing all piltovan characters looks even worse.

Caitlyn gasses people (and not only barons and their goons, gas spreads), using her priveledge as a Sheriff and Councilor's daughter. She never adresses that and never spells out what had she'd done. Like, yeah, she says "we can't erase our mistakes" (s2 ep8) probably not meaning just Jinx's but also her own but that's so… shallow. Like writers couldn't let her really say aloud what she'd done and face consequences bc it would makes bad things too real.

Heimerdinger was one of the founders of Piltover and councilor. He either didn't know, either didn't care to figure out what happens in Undercity for decades. Like, he goes to Zaun after he gets kicked out from Council and finally realises how badly ppl live there but… he just closes his eyes on it? Again?

Jayce killed that kid in s1 and regretted it but once his mother tries to revenge him? Builds weapons immidiately as countermeasure and moves on. He kills dozens of zaunites in Viktor's commune by killing Viktor and doesn't show even a hint of remorse. Like yeah, they were gonna become creepy robots but you know they were still humans when he killed Viktor. Also he (with approval of the Council for sure) places that Hexgates' big core (dont remember how that shit was called) underground and if that thing would blow up Zaun would be left without water and fresh air. Spelled out by Ekko and immediately forgotten.

In the end by removing characters' awareness of their actions and lack of reflection makes piltovan characters either hypocrites, either stupid, either both. And no, i don't want all these characters to be punished for what they did (all chars - except Ekko maybe - would end up in jail lol) I just want characters to realize what they did. I want impact of their actions/inactions. I want real consequences. I want them to face these consequences, not just brush it aside. And then i want them to act according to their personalities, even if i personally wouldn't like what they'd do.

[supermenz]

one

summary: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do; two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one. Or: you're two years old when you lose your parents. Your brother, a kid himself, is unable to give you the love you deserve, and you end up at twenty being as burn out as only a Gotham University student can be. So, what do you do? Change scenery, of course.

pairing(s): clark kent x wayne!reader, bruce wayne x sister!reader, eventual platonic batfam x reader (no use of y/n)

warnings: genius kid trope, kinda doomed siblings, language, there are reference to what happens in "the batman" but there will be a merge of both comics and films, written with david!superman in mind cuz he's my pookie 😞, bruce is so pathetic i love him sm

word count: 2.2k

author's note: my first ever fanfic for the dc universe!! constructive criticism is welcomed as english is not my first language,

next | series masterlist

Gotham has left you feeling more claustrophobic in the last few months than it did all your life. 

Maybe it’s because you’re seeing your brother slip into his work — aka beating criminals in the night as a hobby — more and more, or maybe it’s just your brain playing tricks on you. It’s probably the latter. 

You’ve never been good with emotions — it comes with being a Wayne, and surely, having your parents die before you were three didn’t help your situation. Bruce spending most of your childhood abroad with barely any contact with you also probably didn’t help either. 

“But I’m here now,” he had said once, “Am I not?”

He is, but even if you love him with all your heart, sometimes you think that you’re more like colleagues rather than siblings. Your bond is strained, with him being so closed-off and spending most of his free time cosplaying as a bat, and you having just entered your twenties, trying to get your second degree in biology after an early graduation and an even earlier PhD in engineering. And since his first big case four years ago, neither of you has been the same. 

Your relationship has never been easy. The flood and the Riddler’s case basically forced you to trauma bond over what you both had experienced, as surely no therapist would’ve wanted to hear about all the horrors that you two experienced, even for all the money in the world. Besides, it’s not like Bruce could just enter a therapist’s office and tell them that he’s the fucking Batman. 

As of now, you tend to have your… ups and downs. Both prefer to just hide behind paperwork, projects, cases or research rather than just talk some things out. Because yes, Bruce’s your brother, but that doesn’t mean he’s easy to love. There are some days where he seems to be barely able to talk to you, others where you know he just wants to scream at you for whatever reason, others where… others where you think he might just crumble at your feet and start crying. 

You don’t have a lot in common. Maybe that’s why he manages to stay in Gotham even after all that’s happened — combined with the fact that he’s spent ten years or so abroad. Maybe you need that, too. 

“I’m thinking of moving out,” you tell him during one of your rare dinners together. You have already talked about your plan to Alfred, who has shown his support towards the idea and urged you to get out of Gotham as soon as you could, but you also wanted to tell Bruce — just to be honest with him. 

Yes, he left you to study abroad all those years ago without any kind of goodbye or anything, but you have no intention of leaving him behind like he did to you — you may be grown adults now, but that doesn’t mean that being left behind doesn’t exist anymore. You doubt Bruce would ever feel left behind by you, of all people, but still. “Found a faculty in Metropolis that will be able to transfer all my credits and studies and a nice flat downtown near the Wayne Enterprises’ site there. I think I need a breath of fresh air– I need to go somewhere where the sun actually shines and not everyone has hidden agendas.”

You’ve heard good things about Metropolis, and you think that the Martha Wayne Foundation could be expanded a bit more — somewhere far from Gotham, where surely there are other orphanages, other people in need that could use some help. “I could handle Wayne Enterprise’s gestion and settle our matters there while continuing my studies in a more… calm environment.” calm is a big word for a metropolitan city as big and populated as Metropolis, but every city is calm in contrast to Gotham.  

Your brother doesn’t say anything. He just stares at you, wide-eyed, fork still raised to eat the potatoes Alfred cooked, his face blank. Is he having a heart attack? You didn’t think that you moving out would’ve been such horrendous news for him. Yes, even if you are not that close he’s still very protective, but he went to live abroad at ten. You’re twenty and you’re just… moving to Delaware. It’s not like you’re going to the fucking Himalaya mountains as he did. 

(Meanwhile, Bruce is spiraling. He wonders when the hell did his little sister grow up, how it can be that she isn’t the little girl he used to sway around anymore, and why would she ever want to move out. Is it because of him? Did something happen? 

Isn’t Metropolis in another state? Is he so tremendous that you have to move states in hopes to forget about him? Is he too overbearing? He thought he had always given you enough space to do your own thing–)

Instead of saying all of the things he’s thinking, he tries to muster up a smile, even if it comes out as a grimace. “Alright.” 

He nearly jumps out of his seat when you beam at him — is he really that obnoxious that you can’t wait to move out and have him out of your life? “Oh, I’m happy that you’re taking it well! I was afraid you’d freak out.” you get up from your seat and move over to hug him, and he chuckles nervously. “Why would I? You’re an adult, you can do what you want.” 

(What do you mean?!, his conscience screams in his head, She isn’t even twelve! Just yesterday she was talking about going to the homecoming dance with her friends–

But time has passed, and even if Bruce feels that it was particularly hard on him, he didn’t think it’d affect you too, somehow. It’s weird acknowledging something’s — someone’s — changes in the years in… so little. He had gotten so used to you being his little sister that he didn’t even think about you becoming a full on woman. He still remembers the pink bundle of blankets your parents had given him that day at the hospital, telling him to be careful with her, she’s your little sister.

When have you grown this much? Where did the time go? He swears it was just yesterday when you were admitted to Gotham University.) 

“But… a flat? Are you sure you’ll be comfortable there? It’s not exactly as big as a manor.” 

You avoid his gaze, scratching the back of your head. “Yeah, about that…”

He raises an eyebrow, “Let me guess, you bought the whole building?” 

You snap your fingers, “They don’t call you the greatest detective for nothing!” you sit back down, cutting the meat on your plate, “I plan on making the floors I won’t live in into a laboratory of sort– almost like the Batcave, y’know, so I can continue working on the models I designed undisturbed.”

When Bruce had started his crusade as Batman, you had just gotten your bachelor’s degree in engineering, and were working on your master’s degree. You had basically given him the head-start, creating the software of the Batcomputer (or of the computer, as he calls it), designed and adapted a sport’s car to the Batmobile (just call it the car, Bruce always insists) and basically modified and created every single one of the gadgets and systems he uses. 

You just hope he won’t let the Batcomputer get hacked as soon as you land in Metropolis — you spent weeks programming her and years perfecting her system. You spent so much time on her, she might as well be your firstborn by now. 

“I’ll always be a call away,” you murmur when your brother’s eyes get a little dazy, unfocused– like he’s in another world, always thinking about the worst that could happen. “You know that, right?”

Bruce blinks. “Yeah. Yeah, I– I know that.” 

(He isn't sure about that.) 

You pat his hand, mustering a smile. "Maybe you should take a break, too. Why don't you book a vacation in, let's say... the Bahamas? Just to get a bit tanned and remember what the sun actually looks like."

He shakes his head. "Can't. Batman doesn't go on vacation."

You raise an eyebrow, sighing in defeat. "Well, I'm sure the GCPD could handle Gotham for a few days, but do as you like."

Your arrival in Metropolis is, of course, followed by an unhinged swarm of journalists and press that surround you as soon as you land.

You can already see the headlines — THE PRINCESS OF GOTHAM NOW IN METROPOLIS or some other corny predictable shit like that — as they shove their cameras in your face, screaming and trying to grab you, as your bodyguards try to contain them. You're much calmer than they are, having already endured years and years of invasive journalists.

“Miss Wayne, would you care to tell us the reason for this abrupt change in scenery?”

“Has your move got anything to do with your relationship with your brother?”

“Miss Wayne, look here! A smile for the front page–”

“Miss Wayne, why Metropolis, of all places?”

“Miss Wayne, a word for the Daily Planet?”

The guy for the Daily Planet catches your attention– he seems far too nice and isn’t elbowing anyone; he must be either new at the job or is too nice for it. He’s got a mop of curly, black hair atop his head, thick glasses perched on his nose, baby blue eyes behind them. His posture is a little crooked — he’s getting squeezed by reporters on both of his sides — but, even as disheveled as he is, you notice a thing. 

Ohh, he’s pretty. Like, jaw-dropping pretty, the kind of pretty that makes you want to bite his cheek and never let go for the rest of your life. 

You stop in your tracks, lifting your sunglasses to your head, bodyguards panicking at the swarm of journalists that suddenly all point to one direction; you reach for the pocket of your jeans and take out a business card that you pat on the pretty reporter’s chest. “Another time, pretty boy,” you promise as he takes the card, his fingers brushing yours, the other journalists speechless around you. “I’m kinda busy right now.” 

You don’t stay long enough to see him blush and hold the business card tight in his palm so that the other reporters don’t snatch it out of his grip — the bodyguards urge you forward, towards the SUV with obscured windows that is waiting for you right in front of the arrivals’ exit of the airport. One of them opens the door for you, and you don’t hesitate to get inside, the car speeding off as soon as everyone’s inside. 

“Never seen anything like this,” one of the men mutters.

You shrug, “I’ve had worse.” 

The ride to your building is short, mostly because it’s late in the evening and there aren’t many people still around. You leave a generous tip to both the bodyguards and the driver, thanking them but assuring them that you can walk alone the thirty steps that separate you from the entrance to what’ll be your home for the foreseeable future. They help you take out your trolley and duffle bag, which you swing over your shoulder right after taking the keys of the building out. 

You open the front door, carefully closing it behind you, taking the elevator right in front of it. You press the number thirty out of thirty-four, which turns green with a ding, and wait for the doors to open back up. And once they do, you’re not disappointed. 

The loft is arranged just like how you asked the movers to — it would’ve been hard not to, as you sent them the 3D interior design plan you had made, but still. You’ve been raised with the idea that if you want something done well, you have to do it yourself, so you’re pretty happy about how it turned out. 

Still, something’s missing. 

You check around the loft for any pieces of missing furniture or something like that, not finding anything. You even go back to the 3D model to make sure that everything got here safe and sound, only to find that yes, everything is in the colour you ordered and exactly in the place you asked for it to be. 

You sit on the U-shaped couch that sits right in front of the giant windows that let on the skyline of Metropolis, eyebrows knit in deep thought. The house is nice — for fuck’s sake, you bought a whole building just for you and your projects — but it’s weird not having anyone else around. There’s no Alfred to welcome you, no half-asleep Bruce roaming without an idea of where he is, no squeaking and creaking of the floor when you walk. 

You sigh. “Maybe I should get a cat.” 

[lilac-sweet]

My interpretation of all the Solas endings:

I have been wanting to write about this topic for a while, since I’ve seen a lot of criticisms about Solas being out-of-character. IMO all the Solas endings are brilliantly written, and here’s why:

Solas breaks in 3 different ways:

1: Breaks his wisdom (Becomes Pride)

2: Breaks his pride (Becomes Wisdom)

3: Breaks his leash/conviction (Becomes more human)

1: Breaks his wisdom:

Solas has always walked the line between pride and wisdom: unlike pure spirits, he is able to fluctuate between them - just like Mythal with benevolence and retribution. This makes him more “human” and complex: he even instructs Cole in how being a “demon” and being a “spirit” essentially comes down to a choice we make ourselves.

So Solas is clearly aware of his own failings (just look at his name), but his greatest flaw is not changing in accordance with his own awareness. Due to his wisdom, he knows he is prideful, so he constantly asserts that he is NOT a god: this is as much to make others not worship him as the dread wolf, AND as a mantra to himself to keep him from becoming another Elgar’nan.

However, the limelight is an intoxicating thing, and with him choosing to carry the cross as the dread wolf, he invites that prideful corruption into his heart. It is difficult to truly believe you are not more special than everyone else when everyone else keep telling you how you totally are. As a spirit made man, he is still in danger of becoming what others view him as: he mirrors how you treat him in inquisiton, and he took the name of fen’harel (probably uttered by Elgar’nan) as a badge of pride.

We are told he treats everyone as disposable pawns in order to reach his goals, and we also see the truth of this in his memories. Some people argue that this is out of character for him, since he cares deeply for the elven people and their freedom. I don’t think these things are mutually exclusive: he simply rationalizes everything in order to reach his goal of helping the elves: even if that means sacrificing people

The thing that is so chilling about his character is that he was never meant to lead - he never WANTED to lead either: Mythal was the judge, he her advisor. Without her caring heart to guide his brilliant mind, he becomes callous and makes decisions based only on how best to “win”. This is not to say he does not have a heart, but that he believes he has to set it aside for the greater good: which is exactly where his reasons for leading the rebellion/ tearing down the veil and his methods for doing so contradict each other

He ends up losing sight of his initial reasons because the war makes him so calloused. I believe he shuts down emotionally and can not feel anything but apathy towards everyone when he puts on the mask of the dread wolf - as seen in how he treats the inquisitor vs Rook.

By making so many decisions with such dire consequences and not letting himself feel the weight of that (it would break him) he becomes separated from the “pawns” he uses and stops thinking of them as people. The world becomes a chessboard and a game to him, and that is exactly how a god would think.

That is also the reason he becomes so angry at Rook for saying he views himself as a god: he is so afraid of becoming that conceited, but at this point, the thing keeping him sane and keeping the dam of his pride sealed is the mantra: “I am not a god”. He KNOWS the truth of that mantra, but as this point he doesn’t FEEL it, because he has denied himself to feel anything for anyone in order to be able to get rid of them if logic dictates it.

Through his wisdom he understands why it is detrimental to believe yourself a god, and because of this he is in denial of his own feelings on the matter: he acts like a god, feels like a god, yet knows that he would become what he hates most by acknowledging it - that’s why he uses the mantra: it’s his last effort to stay somewhat grounded.

This brings me to the “I AM A GOD” ending. This is where the dam breaks: he finally allows himself to fully embody his mask; his pride; his demonic side.

By losing to Rook and co through force he is forced to admit to himself that he sees Rook and the world as inferior - he is the only one who can make it right and they are all children, who do not understand him (they shunned understanding when they used brutish force) because compared to them he is a GOD. He accepts pride and abandons the wisdom of staying grounded with the people - the people abandoned him so he abandons the people. He becomes what he has feared most becoming (it is also interesting that his biggest fear is to be alone - and a god stands alone in their arrogance).

He is truly lost to his demonic aspect in this ending and the dark colours of the ending picture reflect this. It is not difficult to argue this is the most tragic ending.

2: Breaks his pride:

Most schadenfreude ending in terms of outsmarting Fen’harel: proving to the world AND to Solas he is not a god and that he is not immune to be outsmarted by a mortal

It breaks Solas’ ego to be outsmarted, since his cleverness is his pride. It sets him free from his pride as it was the proof he so desperately needed: the people inhabiting this world are capable of being his equal and besting him at his own game. He is not better than them, or better put: his cleverness is not infallible. You could argue that a romanced Lavellan/ friendly inquisitor has already proven to be his equal in terms of wisdom, but then again, he has never truly been their adversary.

There is a maddening clarity to him when he finally says “and I am a fool”. I find the break of his pride to be heartbreaking: even though we are told it is a demon version of wisdom, we have seen Solas balancing both aspects - and his name also reflects how big a part of him it is. You could argue he becomes less of a person in both the Pride and Wisdom ending, but more demon/spirit. It is a loss of human complexity and he finally returns to the Fade more alike himself before he took on physical form.

Perhaps it can be argued this ending is the best one from Solas’ P.o.V without a romanced Lavellan: after all, she was the only thing that could “steal his attention from the Fade” or in other words: the only reason he would consider willingly taking physical form without being asked to.

3. Breaks his leash:

The third one is more complex (so bear with me here), because accepting your mistakes and growing in order to not repeat them requires human complexity. A thing Solas has avoided his entire physical existence. He is stuck in regret, yet would repeat all his mistakes again given the chance.

His avoidance of humanity is best seen in the contradiction of his disregard for lives and his conviction of freedom for the elves. His nature compels him to stand against tyranny and enslavement - to be a champion of freedom of choice and thought. Yet as a leader and a strategist he refuses to acknowledge that people matter in more ways than being pawns. He will grieve them later, yes, but his love for a person will never waver his decision if he deems their sacrifice the best course of action in the war - he will not even ask their consent (as seen with the Disruption spirit in the Fade memories).

He does not acknowledge that people are an intrinsic part of war and their lives matter in that equation. He struggles with his mistakes and the lives lost but he can not stop to think he might be going about it all wrong, because I imagine he fears if he factors in the emotional weight of his choices, it would impede his end goal, or worse: break him into indecision.

The emotional weight of the war and the lives lost, his mistakes and his position as a leader - not an advisor, are so against his spirit nature that he suppresses these issues instead of dealing with them like a person. He becomes prideful because he shuts other options out. His way is the only way.

He sees everything fall apart: everything he does: disaster is sure to follow: The blight, trapping the elven gods, the murder of Mythal (x2) - yet he can not stop. He does not know how. He is desperate for a way out - a way out of regret and feeling the weight of his mistakes - he pushes on because that is his only option lest he truly faces what he has done and the pointlessness of it all. All the lives he has sacrificed need to mean something - that is what he sacrificed them for. How can he face that he killed them and not have an excuse for doing so?

In the last ending he is forced to talk about these things: the Inquisitor tells him he is forgiven if he just stops. Yet this is not enough - he has sacrificed Mythal (and in ways himself) to reach his goal and it can not have been in vain. Here Mythal jumps in and helps him carry the weight of it all by shouldering it beside him. He finally lets himself feel the weight of it all and it breaks his conviction. Mythal releases him from her service: the leash of service to not only Mythal, but to her dreams and visions for the elven people; the very reason he was made manifest in the physical world, and so their very long and increasingly painful relationship comes to an end. He gets closure. He allows himself to grow and so he sets out to undo his mistakes: to sit with them (the blight) and truly do the best he can to heal what can be healed. It is the most difficult ending - a true apology: he has to pull a Bharv.

It is also the ending which was foreshadowed if you chose to let Varric help Cole in inquisition. I might get into this more in another post, but essentially he becomes more human by dealing with his shit and growing. It is a warm thought that the best ending is the ending Varric helped make way for.

It wraps up the story nicely as well: he enters the Fade a human, just like he entered the physical world a spirit, underlining the complexity of his character arc.

This is also the only ending in which he can end up with Lavellan: I think it is poetic that she can only join him if he becomes more human, less spirit; a mix of both Wisdom and Pride. He has to accept his humanity and the weight of a human heart - metaphorically, he has to make the choice to finally enter the physical world and all of its complexities of his own volition: and there he finds her waiting.

[werevampiwolf]

Yeah. At 19, I was finally diagnosed with autism and as unable to live independently without years of occupational therapy and my mother said "fuck that" and threw me out of the house two days later. She'd fought the doctors my entire life to stopbe from being diagnosed, because then that would mean there was something "wrong" with me.

I was homeless for over a year. I'm no longer homeless, mostly due to getting very very lucky with circumstances outside my control (like the fact that I was young enough and had been homeless long enough while continuing to take classes at the local community college to qualify for a government grant for Unaccompanied Homeless Youth, which allowed me to get an apartment. And i was only able to take classes because I was poor enough that the classes were free, and because i had a broken laptop and it never got stolen AND i already knew how to fix computers so I was about to Franken-Computer it into it being and staying at least slightly usable AND the fact that the nearest Starbucks was understanding and didn't throw me out or call the cops when I spent hours in there to do coursework), so my mother takes this as a win. Obviously, the doctor must have been wrong because when I was forced to sink or swim, I've stayed alive (very literally in this case).

I would argue that even now, going on a decade later, I'm not so much "living on my own" as I am "barely surviving", but I try to make it very clear, both to her and to people I tell this story to, that the problem with "Sink or Swim" is that people who sink fucking DROWN.

Because even as someone who was forced, and who managed to just barely keep my head above the water... I'm a very staunch opponent to the idea of Sink or Swim. What I had to live through was horrible, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But not only that, I was very acutely aware that my only options were to figure it out or to quite literally Die.

As someone who survived the extreme of the other side of this coin that OP is talking about... the idea that I or anyone else could manage to survive such circumstances and then turn around and insist that the ends justify the means is both baffling and appalling to me, though I know that it very much happens. I cannot see it as anything other than "I suffered, so you should have to suffer too." It's awful to be on either side of this coin, and if you think it's okay for force people to Sink or Swim, whether you've been in that situation or not, than you can fuck right off with that shit.

Side note, I'm someone with support needs on the higher end of medium. I still can't manage to brush my teeth independently, and I don't manage to feed myself consistently, though I at least manage to do it often enough to get enough calories in me to stay alive (and that's ignoring anything other than calories that make up a healthy and balanced diet, because that's not an option for me. It's eat whatever junk food I manage to get into my my mouth or starve). I have to rely on schedules, because my brain doesn't really understand what hunger feels like. I just eventually feel like I'm going to throw up, and if I'm lucky, my brain figures out that I haven't eaten in all day and that's probably why. But there are days when, even if you put a plate of food in front of me, it wouldn't occur to me to eat it. I will just sit there and stare at it (or into space) without outside promoting to eat. I maybe manage to take out the trash or do laundry every two weeks if I lucky, and sometimes it's only once a month, or less. I have plastic bottles that haven't been taken out in at least six months, and probably closer to a year. Perhaps the only reason I can see the other side of this coin is because I basically live as close to edge as is physically possible without going over the edge, but I really hope that's not it. I don't think people should have to be constantly teetering on the knife-edge of this reality to understand that It's Really Fucking Bad to force people to Sink or Swim, or as I prefer to call it, Survive Or Die.

I don’t think people understand how it is to have been behind on EVERY milestone. Learning how to walk? Late. Learning to read? Late. Learning to use the bathroom independently? Late. Every single milestone was late.

And when you have this, people ask questions. People bully you. Why can’t you shower by yourself at 9,10,15,20? Why can’t you brush your teeth independently and frequently? Why can’t you tie your shoes? Why can’t you do math? Why can’t you do this, or that.

And then there’s the people on social media. “Well I was forced to.” “Well I didn’t have a choice” and that’s understandable and completely valid, but there are people that no matter how much you force them, or neglect them so they “figure it out” they won’t “figure it out”. They’ll die. They’ll starve. They’ll not bathe and be dirty.

Higher support needs people don’t just “figure it out” our brains are wired differently. Our brains don’t get that we HAVE to do these things just to survive. So we don’t. And that sucks.

It’s disheartening to constantly hear people say “well i was forced to” because so was I!! I was forced to do things too! I was neglected too! And guess what? I still didn’t do those things. I STILL wasn’t able to meet those milestones.

The big one that I see is “well I’m forced to talk.” And I get that, but me, a person that’s nonverbal, can’t be forced to talk. No matter if I’m neglected, no matter if my device is taken away or I have no way of communication. I still wouldn’t be able to talk. I CANNOT force myself to talk. Get that through your heads. This is my reality, and although yours sucked there are still some people who cannot do things, and saying that they could if they were “forced” is invalidating of them.

[tsuutarr]

Rate your children (ocs)

Who is the favorite? The first born? The problematic fave? The one you honestly don't give enough attention? The one you would hate if they weren't yours? The one you would go ape shit if anything happened to them? The most popular?

This is legit SUCH a hard question TT I love all my characters................

I don't think I have a favorite, but I have a soft spot for Cot since he was one of my first OCs (he wasn't a yandere back then lol)!

Plus Cot is super cute + fun to draw imo :3c

I also adore Aizono for similar reasons! He was a really old OC of mine that came about because I was like... what if the Love God was pining after a mortal?

2. The problematic fave... I mean, they're yanderes so I feel like they're all kind of problematic LOL Ig from my yanderes though, Tynan is probably the most problematic bc he's completely aware of how awful his actions are, he just doesn't care.

He's a man of his own desires, even if he loves Darling haha

3. I feel like I don't give enough attention to a lot of my OCs tbh TT I'm just one measly living organism with way too many OCs lol + I actually have a LOT of OCs I haven't even shared yet!! I love designing characters + writing different prompts so I just end up w a lot of stuff I think.

I do want to revisit my Vampire MILF and DILF though!

(I just think they're hot + I want to be pampered!!!!)

4. As for the one I would hate if they weren't mine... I can't really think about it rn! I feel like all my OCs appeal to me in some way for now... who knows, though? Maybe I'll make an OC I heavily dislike in the future LOL

5. In regards to who I'd go ape shit for if they were hurt... I don't really know, honestly. Maybe any of my human OCs? Most of my non-human/monster OCs can handle themselves just fine, but my human ones are (1) a weak guy who's obsessed with you, (2) a sickly guy who's obsessed with you, and (3) a rich crossdresser who's obsessed with you. None of them are strong tbh so they're much more likely to be hurt LOL

Like, no offense to Sammy, the weak guy who's obsessed with you, but he's kind of pathetic LOL

6. I think the most popular OC I have is either Mulsu or Mason!

I feel like all of my OCs get attention though, so I'm super grateful for it <3

Wow, this post got super long, but it was fun to do!! I'm super indecisive so the answers may change in the future but for now, I think these are accurate haha

(Yeah... when I post more OCs, the answers will def change haha)

Tysm for reading!! <3

[flopsxii]

tokyo revengers boys with their crush (aka you! <3) part two!

feat. shiba hakkai, sano shinichiro, kurokawa izana, sanzu haruchiyo, kakucho, haitani ran, haitani rindou && ryusei satou

note: part two as promised! ;P enjoyyyy mwah

hakkai shiba

ꪆৎ hakkai is shy generally around people (especially pretty people), that’s a known fact. i think the easiest way for hakkai to gain an emotional attraction to someone is if he sees them often. so most likely a classmate he sees in passing, his friends sibling or yuzuha’s close friend.

ꪆৎ he would probably start gaining feelings if you persevered with trying to have a conversation with him! even more so if you gush over him and help him clean up his wounds. oh! and he also loves a compliment here and there regarding his outfits or appearance.

ꪆৎ he’d be very shy around you but would make the effort to talk to you and spend time with you nonetheless! he’d push his feelings of anxiety away as much as he can, he just can’t help it; he can’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with you.

ꪆৎ he gushes about you to mitsuya all the time! any small interaction you may share, mitsuya has heard all about it. if hakkai needs advise about anything in regards to you, his good friend is always there to help and lend an ear if he just wants to rant about how amazing you are!

ꪆৎ also is the type to have dreams about all the stuff he wishes he could say to you but feels too shy to do so. such as finally telling you about his feelings… about how special he thinks you are… how he wants to take you on one million dates and have endless conversations! however, the last one would probably take a while due to his shyness.

ꪆৎ he’d probably come out of his shell a little more if he was around you plus either yuzuha or mitsuya. if you guys are alone, good luck getting him to stop blushing and stuttering.

ꪆৎ probably would confess if mitsuya advised him to as he always listens to him. or he’d probably persuade yuzuha to let it ‘slip’ to you and see what you do with that information.

sano shinichiro

ꪆৎ shinichiro is the type to have a crush on either a friend or someone he likes from afar. of course, if it’s the latter, he’ll do anything to get closer to you and know you better personally and not on a surface level.

ꪆৎ he thinks he’s good at flirting with you, key word, thinks. however, every single time you end up laughing until your chest hurts and shinichiro is red faced with embarrassment with his arms folded, facing away from you. he’s glad he can bring you joy, even if it’s at the expense of his ego.

ꪆৎ he’s the type to always offer you rides… and if he sees you when he’s riding his motorcycle, he’ll always stop and try and convince you! the determination in his voice each time he asks is what makes you say yes. “y/n-chan! wait up! i have my spare helmet… i can give you a ride home… huh? of course, it’s no problem! i want to!”

ꪆৎ he adores it when you spend time with his siblings, it just makes his heart grow even fonder. it makes him just want to sweep you off your feet and pepper your face with kisses! if only you knew how he really felt.

ꪆৎ he’s also always turning up at your house spontaneously, with no proper reason (not that you minded). he’s always bounding with joy when you invite him inside to either watch movies or just talk. any time he spends with you is precious.

ꪆৎ as for confessing, shinichiro thinks you already know he has feelings for you. so when he asks you to finally go out on a date, it’s a shock when you ask, “you like me, shinichiro-kun?” watch how his face distorts to shock, then confusion, followed by a sad face before ranting about how he’s showed you so many signs and you just had to know!

kurokawa izana

ꪆৎ he’s very flirty, that’s for sure. even on the first time that the two of you met, izana made sure you knew how beautiful he found you and how he just has to get to know you! you found the gesture cute, even though you had no idea how deep his feelings would begin to form for you.

ꪆৎ he spends a lot of time with you, visiting different places and seeing new things. he even introduced you to his older brother, shinichiro; which is arguably a very large step for him.

ꪆৎ he loves complimenting you, naturally he wants you to know how he views you in his eyes. however, he can’t help but get mad at you if you say anything negative about yourself. even more so when you ask why he’s so worked up seeing as you weren’t insulting him directly (which to him, you absolutely are).

ꪆৎ one of the most protective boys. izana has been looking after you without you knowing for a long, long time. that time someone shoved you in a store when you were accidentally in their way? they were forced to deal with izana even if they didn’t even remember shoving you in the first place. he never hurts them too much though, he knows you’d never approve of an act of violence in your defense.

ꪆৎ izana is also the type to assume that your friendship has naturally progressed and that there’s a perfect time to casually confess his feelings. “don’t act so shocked, y/n-chan. you knew i liked you this whole time.” he’d almost purr whilst you looked absolutely bamboozled.

sanzu haruchiyo

ꪆৎ he crushes on you from a far for a while until he finds unbearable going on without speaking to you and building a bond with you.

ꪆৎ sanzu is probably the only one who will confess his interest in you straight away, seeing no need to waste time. he’s a little disappointed when you remind him that you don’t know him well enough to begin a relationship. but he’s happy to settle to getting to know you until that day comes.

ꪆৎ he’s fiercely loyal to you, as anyone can guess from his loyalty to mikey. he’s formed an untreatable bond with you and he’s sure he’ll never feel the same way about someone again.

ꪆৎ you’re also one of the only people to embrace his scars and encourage him to finally let the mask go that mucho suggested he started wearing. you’d remind him that scars are natural and beautiful in their own way. i also think anytime you compliment them, his heart would grow two sizes just because of you!

ꪆৎ he’s always showing up unannounced, wether you’re studying, working or just chilling at home. he will be doing the most to try get your attention and he won’t stop until he gets it. even if it’s you telling him to shut up and wait till you’re free. (you know he means well.)

ꪆৎ much like izana, he’s very protective over you. if he hears about anyone disrespecting you and even worse, laying hands on you, be assured they’ll get a beating from sanzu. you’d never find out, of course. he has to maintain that pretty image he has in your eyes.

ꪆৎ there’s no need to confess, you already knew sanzu’s intentions from the beginning. your whole friendship was mainly you getting to know sanzu and him waiting patiently for the way you finally accept his confession from so long ago!

kakucho

ꪆৎ he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life, aside from izana. so i think it would be easy for kakucho to gain feelings for anyone who sticks by his side for a long period of time and actually shows they care about him.

ꪆৎ he’s always bright and lively around you too! there’s never been a time where kakucho has weighed down conversations with deep topics, he’s always interested in you. even if you do try and ask what’s going on in his subconscious, he’ll gently steer you away from that topic. he would rather not ruin the light of his life with unnecessary past trauma. but he appreciates your interest in him nonetheless.

ꪆৎ kakucho is also the type to only let you touch his scar and explain exactly how and why he got it. he’s not ashamed of it, per say, it’s more he doesn’t feel the need to talk about it with anyone else except you; in other words, he trusts you.

ꪆৎ he accompanies you wherever you go at the weekend, occasionally izana will join too. however, he prefers it when it’s just the two of you so he can actually share meaningful conversations.

ꪆৎ you would also need to confess. he has the silly mindset that if he confessed, it would ruin your friendship and he’d lose you entirely. that just happens to be the one thing he can’t lose, other than izana. besides you two, he has nothing left. however, if you were to confess, he would accept you straight away with a charming smile on his face.

haitani ran

ꪆৎ it’s very obvious that ran has a crush on you. it’s not very often that either of the haitani brothers approach people with any other intent than violence. so when they see the elder brother being so gentle and kind towards one specific person, it’s a blatant smack in the face that you’re the one who stole his heart.

ꪆৎ he’s also never once raised his voice at you or threatened you. this is also a key indicator that ran has deeper feelings than just platonic. he knows he’s being too subtle with his feelings but he can’t find it in himself to care.

ꪆৎ he always takes you shopping at the weekend, it’s a weekly ritual and if for any reason, he can’t be there, rindou will step in. speaking of the younger brother, he’ll try his very hardest to get the two of you to be friends. he’d love nothing more than to spend quality time with his two favourite people.

ꪆৎ aside from himself, you’re the only one allowed to touch and braid his hair. when you questioned the intimacy of such an act, ran will simply say that you’re the only one who does it right; even though he’s capable of braiding it himself.

ꪆৎ ever since getting involved with ran, your life has gone smoothly. no one disrespects you, in fact people are so nice to you now! ran adores that he can make you happy even without you knowing it.

ꪆৎ he’d confess when the times right. there’s not a specific reason why he can’t do it at the moment, he’s just waiting for that one time where it’s a ‘now or never’ kind of moment.

haitani rindou

ꪆৎ unlike his brother, it’s difficult to even know if rindou likes you as a friend. he’ll act like you’re a nuisance to him, grumbling responses to your excited questions. however, it’s ran that convinces you to persevere with your ‘friendship’ with his brother.

ꪆৎ even if he doesn’t say much, rindou enjoys being in your presence. if you ask him for help or for advise, on the outside he’s whining about ‘why it had to be him’ but on the inside, his stomach is doing somersaults because you chose him to rely on!

ꪆৎ he’s also the type to overhear you say you need something to your friends and then within the next 30 minutes, he’ll turn up with it and give it to you without a word or get someone else to deliver it for him. only because he knows he won’t be able to contain his raging blush when you thank him profusely. he learnt this from the first time he spontaneously brought you a can of sparkling lime that you were so called “dying for”.

ꪆৎ much like his brother, he takes care of you from afar. he doesn’t want to be overbearing or annoying so he’ll do these quiet acts of kindness without your knowledge. think of it as an act of love!

ꪆৎ he doesn’t confess. ran either forces him or ran flat out tells you how rindou feels when his little brother is right next to him. his face is priceless, he’s unsure wether to be anxious at your reaction or to kill his brother. it’s a funny sight to behold!

ryusei satou

ꪆৎ he asks you out almost every single day. he promises you the earth, the moon, the stars and hell, even the entire universe! however, you tell him no everytime, reminding him you only started speaking a week ago. he doesn’t let the rejections deter him, though.

ꪆৎ he’s definitely the type to give you his jacket or jumper if you as much as shiver once. if you try remove it, watch ryusei forcibly keep it on you, a pout on his lips as he whines that you’re offending him.

ꪆৎ he’s always pulling little pranks on you. only harmless ones though just to make you smile! especially if you’re having an awful day and need a little pick me up. he’s always right there trying to make you smile.

ꪆৎ he also tells everyone that you’re his partner, even if you aren’t. he’s humbled when you correct him, “we aren’t dating, ryusei.” he’d wink at you before adding, “yet.”

ꪆৎ he also always tries to share his lunch with you, doing fake airplane noises as he raises his chopsticks to your mouth. you accept because it’s easier to do that then have your ears go mute from his complaining. you always found it so endearing that he cares about your health so much!

ꪆৎ seeing as ryusei tells you about his feelings everyday, there’s no need for a grand confession. instead when ryusei once again tells strangers that you’re his partner, he awaits for rejection once again. until one day, you agree with a small smile before wrapping your arms around his middle. this is the only day in ryusei’s life where he’s lost for words.

[calsvoid]

ten (sorta) thoughts on squid game season 2 (SPOILERS):

1. holy fuck this season was so beautiful and the creative genius behind it was so wonderful

2. the rock paper scissors minus one scene has got to be the most intense game scene out of every single one (not game, but game SCENE, as in watching these two friends who i didn’t even care about half a second before be forced to bet their lives against each other only for one of them to be placed with a guaranteed win and not take it was probably the craziest thing to ever happen and fuck having that be the first episode truly through me for a spin)

3. speaking of, the guy that lived (who is known as guy with the wife because me and my brother kept saying that he has a wife as a reason why we want him to live) is one of my favs for no reason, i hope he gets out alright DONT YOU DARE DO ANYTHING TO HIM CAP’N I TRUSTED YOU

4. i knew as soon as they started having two girls bond i was done for and i spent every moment of theirs begging for both of them to live because i think i’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending

5. soooooo many characters and character dynamics were just absolute chef’s kiss and it helps so much with that buildup of hope and tension; last season obviously had some wonderful people and relationships (i’m still not and never will be over the marble game) but something about this new cast was just absolutely wonderful. there were almost no characters i didn’t like or wasn’t invested in, and i am very excited to see how they turn out next season. hyun-ju’s group, gi-hun’s group, hell even thanos’s group i enjoyed all of them. min-su’s betrayal fucked me up so bad though and him failing to save her and having to see her die FUCK. also young-mi’s death was so painful, especially since she was the first main group member death. the mom and son were hilarious im going to fight god if they don’t end up together in either life or death

6. all about women’s rights and women’s wrongs this season, number 11 i love you and i hope you find your child i will kill your almost rapists for you. i don’t care that i hate the military hyun-ju is hot with a gun and she can fuck me with one of she wants. i pray for that fetus please let them get out alive. the mom was fantastic and such a nostalgic character, very accurate portrayal of an auntie and i love her for that. shaman queen is batshit crazy and good for her

7. the set design yall fucking BEAUTIFUL. i can’t describe it, but it just adds so much to that deceitful hope with all the rainbows and clean lines. and also the use of the stairs during the gun fights, ugh so amazing what a great way to repurpose that set

8. ALSO THE ADDED KNOWLEDGE OF THE SOLDIERS SIDE, god i love the extra lore behind their recruitment, their system, all that. loved the twist and as i’ve said i love number 11 shes my queen

9. god seong gi-hun had me ROOTING for him. his sheer determination was felt by me too and i really hoped that he would finally get to get justice, that finale just hurt all that much more

10. i wanted so badly for inho to end up having a semi-redemption arc even though it was unlikely, i unfortunately fell for his manipulation and wanted to believe in him god it hurt watching him use the sounds of someone else’s death to trick gi-hun

[lavmana]

So because I love tables I made some tables! I'll link the full thing at the end but here's the (semi-readable) table of ships! (I did have to guess some of the names)

(I apologise for how small it is this is the best I can do in this case)

However probably more interesting is looking at the numbers between various relationship types! So going in order we have the Exes:

With an average of 2.111 repeating, Twilight and Trixie are doing some HEAVY lifting here. Without them the average would be 1.75 so congratulations to them for being the most... something. Regardless it's also quite funny to me that the main difference between a '3' ex and a '1' ex is basically if it is het or not. (This is not a judgement, I'd do the exact same). The main exception being Trixie and Rarity who are the only 2 here which I think puts them firmly in the "not my thing but I support it" category.

Otherwise this mostly makes sense! You'd either put exes down as "canon relationships that I do NOT want" or "They'd totally be a fling but regret it" which only really lends itself to the lower side of numbers!

Also lol fluttercord L + ratio + Tree Hugger wins + the 0 stands for 0 bitches. I swear I'm a nice person in real life please don't take this seriously.

Okay next Queer Platonic relationships or QPs as I'm calling them cause it sounds like "cuties":

Welcome to the realm of averages. To address the exceptions I need to admit I have no idea what the... tissue(?) cutie mark is that's attached to cheese sandwich, so I'll just hope it's an OC that I don't know and support it! Otherwise Trixie and Sunburst get a 1 I assume because they had to be connected to complete the platonic square going on between Trixie, Starlight, Sunburst, and Thorax(?). On that note the main QPs occur between the mane 6 (especially Pinkie Pie my platonic queen), and that square. This is also Bubbles main spot so take a moment to appreciate her then keep reading.

With an average of 2.231 this does make sense given most of what makes up these links are filling in polycules which are supported but not a main ship.

Next the era of Romance:

"Gee Twilight how come you get 6 girlfriends, 3 exes, 2 QPs, and a wife?" Respect to my girl for pursuing ONLY romantic relationships with her besties. However the real star is secretly Rainbow Dash who has no links going below 3 (within the mane 6) awarding her the prize of most shippable pony! Congrats Rainbow! Twilight does still win the most links with 12.

This is by far the most popular category for a link to fall into. The Mane 6 really do shine here with Twilight Rarity and RD all having plenty of spots here. We also enter the higher numbers with hilariously the only 5s being Mordecai and Rigby (good for her) and AJ and rarity which is a real range.

There's probably too much here to comment on anything properly but definitely the most fun to look through, especially with all the 4s.

And now... mawiage!

omg did I actually write person instead of pony? I cannot believe myself right now, this is my greatest shame.

Anyway with an average of 4 (4.375 without Mudbriar) we have achieved our highest rated category! Of course this makes sense, if you think two ponies have high enough chemistry to be married, you probably also think they have good shipping potential you enjoy. This gives us most of the 5s and RD getting TWO wives.

Maud Pie really brings things down here with her husband, apologies to my ace king but you have been voted off the island. In the mean time we can basically spot the top tier ships in here with Twipie, appledash, flutterdash, and trixie x starlight! So if you wanna get on Zigo's (I'm assuming this is your legal name) good side depict these ships!

Weird Al is also in here. He got a 3 so good for him.

As for my own thoughts I actually am a big fan of this chart! Beyond like a few numbers slightly up or down 1 rank I basically agree with it! It's cool to see where the differences lie but I've talked way too much to keep yapping so bye!

And that mostly summarizes some thoughts from this graph! I very much enjoyed making these tables so if anyone ever makes something like this again I will keep putting them into LibreOffice and comparing the data I find! You can see the full tables here:

It's a .ods file because that's what libreoffice uses.

headcanon relationship chart for the mane 6. for some undefined amount of time after the show

i am not trying to lend undue legitimacy to the institution of marriage. or devalue queer platonic relationships. these are just different types of relationships. obviously.

[lawofangie]

have you changed your old and set gpa / grades to a new one? i guess this would be along the lines of revision

also, for big exams or whatever that most people seem to have super hard times with even with studying the best they can like the mcat (medical entrance exam basically) how would you go about that? let’s say you didn’t want to do much prep for it, can you just assume you’re top percentile with the score you get back and if there’s inspired action you can get into that, or do you actually have to put in some level of work? this may have been worded badly LOL my apologies

i did! i believe my old one was a 3.0 or something like that and i manifested it being a 4.0! i'm currently a senior in highschool and the "hardest" thing i'm taking right now is physics. if i didn't assume my grades were always high and relied on the 3d to tell me how they were, i would probably be failing miserably right now.

personally, i hate studying and i always thought to myself about how i would much rather spend my time taking care of myself and improving my life somehow. i could be spending time with friends, my sp, family or trying new hobbies, going new places, traveling.. i've honestly always found school to be a waste of my time that i could be spending doing so many other things. i used to get so anxious and scared over school and put it on this pedestal like my future depended on it, when that wasn't true at all.

i had to realize that i was doing myself a disservice my pretending that these things somehow mattered more than my input, my wellbeing, and my say in matters. acting like anything depended on "top percentiles" or approvals is a way of distracting yourself from the fact that you are the one accepting this as true. you are the one deciding "if my grades don't look like this, i won't succeed", when in reality, your grades and scores are quite literally said to be a way of being prepared.

a lot of administrators actually don't know what standards schools are choosing by because even if you have the good grades and good exam scores, there's still that chance of you not being picked. this goes back to my point on reliance and how that's your conscious decision. also, leaving things up to "chance" or "luck" (a made up concept) is honestly stupid when you really think about it. you're choosing to let things decide themselves, but somehow you can't decide?

i've noticed that people often put trust in many irrelevant things, like gods, deities, stars, cards, palm readings, psychics, mediums, other people's inputs, etc. and i've realized that nobody ever puts trust in themselves for some reason. isn't that weird? it's fine when you put trust in the things you're not even sure where they originate, the validity, that you can't even see or be sure of.. but the one thing you can be sure of (yourself), is somehow untrustworthy?

it was for this reason that i realized that i need to get more comfortable with myself and deciding i have things without relying on some external factor to tell me that i do. it just doesn't make any sense and it doesn't even work. at the end of the day, your mind is going to sway one way, either you'll believe you succeed, or you didn't.

but anyways, what i'm saying is that being the top percentile is not at all necessary to reach your goals, because at the end of the day it is up to you and the way you feel about yourself, whether you realize it or not. you are the one deciding, even if you have good grades, where you are going to make it in life. you are the one deciding EVERYTHING about your life, your self image, your relationships, yourself, everything regarding you is up to you (obviously).

but, to answer your question properly, no. you do not need to put in any level of work. the law simply states to assume ("whatever you assume to be true will be true"), not to do anything else. everything takes care of itself the moment you simply decide it is true. inspired action is usually something done unconsciously, like for example, you want to manifest money. you decide you have $100. then as you randomly decide to clean your room, you look under your pillow and find $100. (this happened to me but i found it in my drawer lol).

inspired action and trying to force something to happen are two different things, again, one is done unconsciously and the other is done with the intent of hoping something happens. and what does hoping imply? it implies that you don't have it. if i said "i hope i have $100", i obviously don't have it. if i said "i have $100", then i very clearly have $100. you have to assume it in order for it to be true. and that means, you take your own word for it regardless of what you're being shown at this very moment. you have to decide that it already happened.

i'm sorry, i know this is the part that so many of you guys hate since you like being bossed around by other people, but this is how the law works. it's the only rule you've been provided with, and yet so many of you fail to follow it. an assumption is something you believed to be true without proof. the law requires you to believe something, we (coaches, bloggers, teachers, etc) are the ones telling you to believe something *positive*. the law itself is indifferent, you're free to believe whatever you want, good, bad or indifferent. nobody has control over your mind or thoughts but you.

and yes, it has to be you. not your friends, not your parents, not your teachers or professors, not your bosses, not the random strangers on the street, not the people you only meet once, you. because this is your reality. you're experiencing life as your own person with thoughts, feelings, opinions, goals, dreams, a functioning body (hopefully?), and your own eyes. it's yours, and yet so many of you struggle to realize that.

your manifestation is something that's supposed to happen naturally, it's supposed to find a way to grow into your world comfortably, like the example i just provided. (please don't take "find a way" out of context, i simply mean the "how" is not up to you. everything else is. the law of assumption is a law. it has to materialize, and it does, this is also not to say that it will necessarily be "unexpected" or "strange", you just won't know how it will unfold.)

putting in a level of work just comes from a place of doubt (or misinformation, but let's not talk about that right now). you doubt the fact that you can truly sit back and relax and have things work for you. it's a belief that will do absolutely nothing for you and not benefit you at all, though i'm sure a lot of you believe many things that don't benefit you, and you don't really seem to care.

and how would i go about applying all of this? i would simply decide that i have passing marks or that i got accepted into whatever school i wanted regardless of my grades. there is only one rule to manifestation, you can't break it, but you can bend it however you want as long as you assume. the only rule to the law is literally to just apply the law, so do whatever works for you.

if you just wanna feel good about your grades and feel even better getting accepted into a school, go ahead. if you're coming from a place of fear and feeling like you "need to manifest this or else", please take a step back and consider the fact that this is all up to you and i just told you it doesn't work that way. remember that you only feel this way because these standards have been drilled into your mind for years by the people around you. you've basically been conditioned to care about your grades and limit yourself to or only believing in getting going to school for a job.

we as people are the ones who give things we created significance and purpose. nothing is fundamentally real, it is all manmade, and so, you shouldn't be putting it on a pedestal. you are the only one keeping these standards alive in your head and keeping the assigned significance of these standards alive in your head. none of it really matters and we all know that deep down. we are all going to die one day and we literally live on a floating rock in the middle of fucking nowhere. please don't stress yourself out over stupid shit and live your life the way you want. just decide it's yours.

hope this helps! feel free to send me another ask if you still have questions. 🩶

[project-sekai-facts]

since project sekai is getting a movie, do you think it's likely going to be dubbed into other languages if there's a worldwide release, or would it be more likely to stay in its original audio?

we know it's being released in america at the very least, but as will all anime movies this will probably be very small scale and at select cinemas on select dates. i am not an anime guy so i don't know how these things work i think they release most things subbed based on stuff my friend has said but i don't know. um. maybe?

i think at least an american english dub is fairly likely, especially if it ends up released on DVD or streaming (crunchyroll). probably not for cinematic release since they haven't said anything about it. the main issue is the vocaloids, but an easy workaround is to either leave their original audio in or have real people dub them. considering this is quite a big and popular franchise with lots of budget, a dub almost seems inevitable for me.

[waitingandwishing]

(Cross posted on Wattpad)

Prev - Next Chapter

Y’know why my name is Y/N? It’s not. It’s technically a nickname… My real name is Isaac… And I know you’re probably thinking. ‘Why is she named Isaac? That’s a boy's name!’ And it is. Funny isn’t it?

I think my dad wanted me to be a boy. But then, I was a girl. And I remember he was so angry. ‘I have not been blessed with a son, but a daughter! How useless is that? What good could a daughter do to our family!?’

Sexist piece of shit. And then he died… Karma’s a bitch isn’t it? I always thought he died because of an explosion, I thought he died from an accident. But… I don’t think it was an accident.

I think I killed him. In an explosion I created… Maybe that was why I was so upset with Jinx. Because I killed her just like I killed him.

Was I born to be a mage? Born to possess something so beautiful yet dangerous? Born to curse everyone around me, even my own family? My mother, who wanted to see the world, died because of her grief. I wonder, even now, how could she mourn someone so horrible? 

Afterall, I killed him yet felt no remorse doing so because he deserved it. And I was upset how short his death was, how exploding him was the least painful way to die.

But then I was cast out to the Undercity, cast out from Topside. I met Vi, Powder, Claggor, Mylo, Vander, and… Viktor. Would it be selfish of me to say I still loved him? I loved him for a long time, never knowing if we would ever be together.

It was silly, I know. Viktor chose ambition over love and look where that got him, up in Piltover frolicking in a field. I chose differently. And that turned out well… A lost leg and a broken family. 

Mojí drahoušek… That’s what Viktor used to call me. I daydreamed about seeing him again, waking up with him, and teaching at the academy with him or maybe be a ballet teacher. 

The Undercity would be equal to Topside, the borders would no longer be there and we would all be called Piltover as one.

I would visit Powder and Vi in the Undercity on my days off, Vander and the rest of them would be alive and Silco would work at the bar with him. Their parents would be alive, my mother would live and my father would be a better person or still dead.

I wonder if there were alternate universes, that there are people amongst the stars that decided one universe got to be the good one.

It seems as though every time I leave, I choose the wrong choice, and it ends up worse. I shouldn’t have visited Viktor, I shouldn’t have trusted Silco. I should’ve done this, I should’ve done that. I always choose the wrong choice.

I’m selfish. The idea is selfish but… I can save her and Viktor. If magic can do anything, I can save them. I was born to be a liberator, born to be a savior, born to be a saint.

And this time I will be selfish in what I want to save.

_____________________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t sure why, but she could feel her left leg again. Even after it had been shattered in the explosion, blown apart, torn to pieces. Somehow, someway, her leg had healed. The sensations were strange, almost like it was never gone at all, as if it had been returned to her, whole and whole again. 

Maybe it was due to Singed’s shimmer, maybe it was because of her magic, or maybe, just maybe, it was both working in tandem, like a perfect storm. Either way, it was ugly. Gold speckles of energy marred the purple, distorted muscle beneath, veins like lightning coursing through it.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was hers, and it felt familiar in a way. New, yet something she had always known, some odd reflection of herself that had been hidden away.

But even with this strange miracle, Y/N wasn’t sure what she was doing anymore. She felt weightless, untethered, drifting as though her very existence was suspended in a dream. 

Yet, at the same time, she was filled with so much power and yet felt like she had none. 

There was so much energy, yet she felt so drained, so utterly exhausted, as though the very essence of her had been torn apart and remade, again and again, leaving her hollow in places no one could see. 

She wasn’t sure what this feeling was. All she knew was that it was overwhelming, and yet she couldn’t find a way to process it.

Y/N missed so many people. Her heart ached for them, and every inch of her wished she could go back, rewind time, take back every mistake. She missed Ekko, his eager face always ready to cheer her up and how he looked up to Vi and her like they were the only ones who could save him. 

She missed Vander, the father figure who had given her hugs she never got from her real father, those warm, safe embraces that made her feel like she was worth something. 

She missed Vi, her partner in crime, the only one who had ever understood her completely. She missed Claggor and Mylo too. They’d always made her laugh, even when she was seething with anger (no matter how much she wanted to punch Mylo in the face at times). 

And she missed Viktor.

What could she say about Viktor? She missed everything about him. The way he laughed, the warmth of his embrace, the hours they spent inventing and imagining new possibilities together. 

She hated herself for the kaleidoscope of colors that now stained her eyes, bleeding together and making her lose sight of that familiar, comforting dark blue. 

She hated that she was so different now, that she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror without seeing someone else staring back. What was with the streak of black that had worked its way into her once-pure white hair? 

Why was she like this? Why did everything feel like it was slipping out of her control?

Maybe she was just born to be like this. Born to have so much love but no one left to give it to. So much emotion, yet none at all. It was a sick joke, wasn’t it? The world had given her everything, and yet, nothing at all.

Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like she was being torn in two, empty yet somehow overflowing with all the wrong things? What was the point of wanting more when she had already lost so much? What was the point of staying alive if she had no one to live for? 

What was the point of anything anymore?

Maybe she was being selfish. Maybe she was holding onto some fleeting hope. She still had things to do, still had to see Jinx and Vi one last time, still had to hold Viktor close, just once more, before she… Before she left them all behind. 

Maybe she needed to find something for herself in whatever darkness this world had become, or perhaps the next.

Maybe in another universe, she’d be different.

She blinked, pulled out of her thoughts as Silco’s voice pierced through the fog. “My dear,” He said, standing up slowly, his gloved fingers tilting Y/N’s face up so she could meet his eyes, “I believe that Singed has told you you can finally see her.”

Y/N nodded, standing up shakily, as if the very air around her was made of something heavier than it should be. She looked up, and that was when she saw it— her eyes, no longer the pale blue they used to be, were now a neon pink, glowing with a manic intensity. 

Veins crawled up her neck and arms like blackened rivers, pulsing with an unnatural energy. She widened her eyes, struggling to process what was happening to her, but the answer never came.

“Oh my god…” Y/N whimpered, her voice breaking as she placed her hand gently on Jinx’s body. “Jinx… What has he done to you?” Her words were barely a whisper, lost in the heavy, charged air.

Time itself seemed to freeze, and then it shattered, like glass breaking into a thousand pieces.

“Oh, Jinx…” Y/N’s voice cracked as her eyes filled with tears. “What happened…” Her hands trembled as the rings on her fingers crackled with electric energy, runes etched into her skin glowing with a fierce blue light. “I was supposed to protect you, why didn’t I protect you?”

“You’re not a jinx, but I’ll call you that if you want,” Y/N whispered through her tears, “And you’ll always be my Bluejay…” 

The words felt like a promise, even though she didn’t know if she could keep it.

“You’ll always be in my heart. And I know you’re going to be upset, angry, and sad about what I’m about to do. I know you won’t understand and I know I promised you but this is something I have to do.”

“Everyone says they’re sorry. But you’ll never know if they truly mean it.” Y/N paused. “Let me be the first to truly say it. I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me.”

“And I’m sorry for doing this.” She wiped away a tear, and then she vanished, as if she had never existed, her presence flickering like a dying flame. The air hummed, leaving only the faintest buzz behind, like the aftermath of something great and terrible that had passed.

_____________________________________________________

Was it selfish of her to want to say one last goodbye to Topside before she left this world? Undeniably, yes. Did she do it anyway? Without a second thought.

Because that was who Y/N was. A walking contradiction of selfishness and selflessness. How could someone who always seemed to put others first still be driven by such deeply personal desires? Perhaps that was the nature of love itself, a contradiction that was both a weakness and a strength.

She thought about Viktor as she moved through the city, her mind a storm of conflicting emotions. How could she love someone so deeply and yet hold resentment for the choices he had made? How could she adore the quiet brilliance of his mind while despising the ambition that had taken him away from her? 

It was infuriating, and yet… She still loved him. That was love, wasn’t it? A contradiction she could never quite resolve.

And it wasn’t the only one.

She hated blood and dirt, the stains they left, the weight they carried. Yet her hands were steeped in both. Blood she had spilled and dirt she had trudged through. She had become an expert in taking lives even as she hated the act itself. Another contradiction.

Then there was Vi, her dear friend and sister in arms. Vi loved Powder, that much was clear, but she hated Jinx. Or at least, she said she did. But how could you love one and hate the other when they were the same person, the barriers between them bleeding together until it wasn’t all black and white.

Wasn’t that the cruelest contradiction of all? 

Y/N thought about how Vi had left Jinx, claiming it was out of love, but hadn’t she also promised she never would? Love and betrayal, loyalty and abandonment, how could they exist side by side? It wasn’t just a contradiction; it was selfish.

And Y/N was no different.

As she flickered in and out of reality, phasing past the guards and the walls as though they weren’t even there, she felt the shimmer and arcane coursing through her veins. 

Somehow, they harmonized within her, turning her into something new, something unstable. She moved like a shadow, slipping between people unnoticed, her presence more a suggestion than a fact.

‘Is it so selfish when you’ve never had anything you’ve wanted before?’ A voice echoed in her mind, soft and serpentine, wrapping around her thoughts like a vine.

“No, it isn’t,” Y/N whispered, her lips barely moving. The glow reflected in her kaleidoscopic eyes, a strange smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Glorious evolution… It sounds so familiar… Yet so new. The end of the beginning.”

‘Yes…’ the voice replied, a note of satisfaction in its tone.

“Hm.” Y/N let out a soft chuckle, the sound almost foreign to her ears. “I’m glad you agree with me.” She tilted her head, her gaze lingering on the swirling energy. “But… There’s still one person I want to see. I haven’t kept many of my promises in this life. So I cannot promise that I will join you… But, thank you.”

The arcane pulsed as if in response, a silent acknowledgment, before she turned her attention to the window. 

Outside, the blood moon hung low in the sky, its crimson light casting an ominous glow over the city. The world felt on the brink of collapse, yet in this moment, it was eerily still. 

She didn’t know why she was here, there was no point when she’d be gone anyways. No point when she was going to die, but it gave her a sense of comfort. Her mom always wanted to be a councilwoman, helping not only Piltover but Zaun as well… 

“Viktor, my love…” Y/N whispered, her voice trembling as she stared into the night. Her fingers traced the glass as though trying to reach him through the distance that separated them. “How do you do it? How do you keep moving forward when everything is falling apart?”

She closed her eyes, letting the weight of her emotions wash over her. Her love for him, her hatred for the world, her frustration with herself. All of it swirled together in a storm that threatened to consume her. Yet, even in the chaos, there was a quiet.

Because no matter how selfish her actions might seem, they were born from a love so fierce that it defied everything. And that was a contradiction she was willing to embrace.

“Where are you going?” Powder tugged on Y/N’s shirt, her curious blue eyes glinting under the dim light.

“I’m going somewhere special.” Y/N looked up at the red sky. “Goodbye, Bluejay.”

taglist: @night-fall-moon @cyberwears @g0ul666 (If you'd like to be added tell me in the comments!!!)

[fuckyourchampionship]

I need to name this series somehow.

Today’s topic is Bankai (I think that’s how you spell it). Now, you’re probably wondering, who the hell is Bankai? Well, before the Hungarian GP, I had no clue either, and then I completely forgot he even existed. But since I have X, I remembered that such a person exists. Thanks to my amazing oomfs on X, I found out that Bankai is Lando’s friend and they stream together often.

Bankai “shined” with his intelligence after the Hungarian GP when he decided to post something.

Of course, it didn’t get much support because it missed the point entirely. If he had watched the race, he would’ve seen that Oscar barely said anything on the radio. Later, he tried to defend himself, saying that he give Lando similar nicknames. But people quickly pointed out that the difference is, Lando is his friend, and Oscar is just a stranger to him.

Eventually, Bankai started apologizing, but in a super unintelligent way – while also insulting people who “misunderstood” him.

I thought I’d wait it out, because he’d definitely say or post something dumb again, and guess what? I was right. My oomfs sent me this post today.

You know, normally I wouldn’t even make a post like this, because he’s just some random irrelevant streamer. But the fact that he’s Lando’s friend and constantly tries to take digs at Oscar makes it hard to ignore. On streams, he and Lando keep bringing up Oscar.

Bankai keeps saying how he’s “Lando’s friend” and that his entire fanbase are just Lando fans, then throws shade at Oscar. all these not-so-bright people run to X to post stuff like, “Oscar sucks” and “Bankai is so cool because he doesn’t like Oscar”…

Sorry, but I’m starting to wonder what Lando is really like and how he feels about Oscar. If he hangs out with someone who purposely provokes hate (because, let’s be real, this is a grown man who knows exactly what he’s doing and sees what people post in the chat and on X), then what am I supposed to think?

But at the end of the day, Bankai is just some random streamer who’d bark if Norris told him to. And Oscar? Oscar is an F1 driver chilling in Monaco and living his millionaire life.

[rowie264]

Why Timebomb shouldn't exist in s2 (part 1 - Ekko)

Let's start by analyzing his character. Don't you think there's something wrong here, to put it mildly? Of course, I'm laughing at jokes about the fact that you can't call any character absolutely good in Arcane except for Ekko, but… Don't you think this is a problem? Ekko has no flaws at all. If he didn't have difficulties as the story progressed (and there aren't many), he would literally be Mary Sue.

And okay, even though I find characters without flaws completely unrealistic and boring, it's possible to work with this. Let Ekko be a good guy. Just give him a good conflict and it will be enough to make him interesting to watch.

But there are problems here too. What conflicts does Ekko have?

Chembarons. It's clear with Silco, he died in s1, and this conflict is half gone. But only half, because other chembarons want to take his place. The development of this topic could serve as a good disclosure of Ekko's character. His confrontation with shimmer and Silco in the hope of changing Zaun for the better with his defeat will endow him with flaw - naivety (this is just speculation, because we don't know if Ekko knew that eliminating Silco wouldn't have changed anything - we can only see that how he sighs at this information in s2 ep2). But making him naive is good, because it would give him an opportunity for growth and an additional character arc, because the question arises - what will he do? Fight against the "bad guys" as before or change his approach? Will he get his hands dirty or will he find a "better way"? Perhaps he will try to unite Zaun? Maybe he'll become a chembaron himself, but as a good chembaron? Well, we won't find out, because thanks to Caitlyn for doing all the dirty work - this conflict disappeared on its own.

The Tree. Ekko's personal arc in the s2, which is just drained down the toilet. And no "he ended up in another timeline and then there was a war" is not an excuse, because his entire motivation in s2 is based on this conflict. He starts his journey precisely because of the Tree, but they brushes it aside for the sake of fanservice and a more global plot. Lack of timing is not an excuse for the same reason - fanservice in another timeline is not needed for s2. Exploring Tree and firelights would give a lot of information about Ekko himself. How did he become a leader? Was there anyone who was against his leadership? What personal connections does he have with firelights (friends, mentors, etc)? One such small flashback could reveal his character much more than the entire ep7.

Piltover. Weeeeell, since we have been ignoring the topic of Piltover oppressing Zaun for decades, this conflict disappears by itself. We have more important things to do, like fighting an army of creepy robots and Arcane Jesus.

Jinx. Fucked up on all fronts. Cheap fanservice with alternative Powder instead of revealing his complicated relationship with our Powder/Jinx. I'll explain more later.

In total, we have: Ekko, a character who has not been fully revealed, who does not have depth like other characters (shown on the screen, rather than having to figure it out by ourselves) and whose conflicts either resolve themselves or are forgotten. It was more important for the creators to devote time to the fanservice than to reveal Ekko as an individual and close his personal arcs. Moving to another timeline cuts off the possibility of revealing his relationship with other characters besides Heimerdinger (yes, with Jinx too, but more on that later). But there's also a problem with Heimerdinger, because well, he's so small and fluffy and has a cool mustache, and that's probably why Ekko completely ignores the fact that Heimer was a councilor to the city who had been oppressing Zaun for decades (seriously, Ekko doesn't bring up this topic and has no complaints about Heimer, because creators deliberately omitted this conflict, forgetting that it is illogical for the character as Ekko).

Part 2 - Jinx Part 3 - Relationship

[alicenpai]

🌟 ART SUMMARY 2024 🥂

this was a year where i didnt draw a lot, despite that, i tried to make every drawing count. thank you all for the support in 2024, here's to 2025 ! 🫶

⭐ [read more starts here]

i continued my goals from last year with regards to perfectionism. the tldr is that i strongly feel my perfectionism kept me away from completing as many drawings as i could, and i had to make an effort to just finish drawings no matter how lukewarm I felt about them. 2024 was a strange year, it came and went in the blink of an eye, even more than previous years! life has been stressful, so i've been trying to focus more on myself and taking time off drawing. ironic, although i think i succeeded in that above goal, i expected to get more drawings out of it, but ended up taking more time off drawing anyways. towards the end of the year, i started feeling more burnt out, and drawing became a slow and arduous process. i think part of the reason was because 2024 was my first year doing 5 events - 2 full weekend conventions (anime north and otakuthon), and 3 single day events (bamtori fall aapi market, toronto game expo, bamtori jinglebam market), when in the past 2 years i'd just opt to do 1-2 local cons. it was also my first time doing single day events, which were super chill! although you have to both set up and tear down on the same day, i felt more casual at those events, had more time to chat and look around. back to my point - despite being fun, doing so many events took its toll on me - especially during the colder months of the year, where i wasn't so used to going to events haha! usually i take fall as the time to rejuvenate and recover from summer events, but i couldn't really do that this year. i kept questioning myself, "does this drawing have appeal? will people buy this?" "is my art hireable?" and it's just not a healthy mindset to have. next year i'll try to draw more of what i enjoy and what's on my mind, instead of worrying too much if it's sellable! *feeling like the HAHA YES sickos meme* - 2025 art goals outlined below: - oc zine (aiming for a character guide with some test comics) - character interactions & poses! e.g. dancing, hugs - generally stuff that's more difficult to draw. my art is more illustrative, but sometimes i wished it was more engaging emotionally? like i want people to smile and cry with my characters... - illustrations that challenge me. when i say illusts that challenge me it's pretty abstract - do research and gather inspiration for every illust.. compositions that are difficult/complex and take a while to draft.. strong theme.. it's more for me to understand AHAHAHA. as the years go by you can see my art becoming more unified in theme and self indulgent... i want to keep going, i want to make art that is uniquely mine. less priority: - get used to sketching! truly miss how i used to fill up sketchbooks every year - sticker sheets (this is on the less priority list bc i will probably fulfill this goal regardless) - oc merch (happy with the stickers i made in the last 2 yrs, let's keep going!) - silly things! e.g. 4koma, silly doodles. comedy is an art, it IS a skill you can study and chip away at (e.g. comedians and comedy writers). make sure i take notes on really stand-out jokes i find funny & why

other various things to try and draw more of: - group pictures - animals - layouts and props. i find layouts and anything with hard surfaces difficult to draw, which is why i draw a lot of flowers and fabric LMAO. one thing i gotta do is start by either drawing characters holding props more (easy baby steps!) and/ or start drawing props around them and make my way towards harder things (e.g. practice drawing a character sitting, i'll start by drawing a simple chair, then a table, then objects on that table). this is also one of my weaknesses - draw the ground they're standing on if possible, e.g. characters standing on a grid - vehicles, if i can. i mostly draw stuff from fantasy series where cars don't exist LOL but i'll try...