#probably been done before but i havent seen it
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ottos-art-stash · 1 year ago
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Hear me out:
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Trailblazer with Nanook's scars
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ofmoonsandlight · 9 months ago
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"does anyone know what the deal is with the magnus institute" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
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udonnedtonoo · 5 months ago
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I like to think that Sutekh gets his hopes up every time he sees a near-death Doctor and that they'll *finally* be his, but gets fooled by the regeneration Every Time
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gemharvest · 1 month ago
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Hate thissss I feel like I haven't been properly productive today (somehow posting two art things Doesn't register properly in my mind) so I wanna stay up to get as much as I can down, but I also need to go to sleep in case I'm called in tomorrow because fuuuuuck going to work on little sleep that shit sucks. But also, the possibility of being called in makes me wanna stay up even more, so I can finish art in case I don't have time tomorrow. So now I'm sat up at 12:30 tired as shit but unable to draw or go to bed. The never-ending cycle of hell.
#ramblings#i wish they had someone else to call in on short notice. i dont hate coming in extra but i hate getting a text at like 7:10 when kennel#hours in the morning start 7:30. i knowww i should probably set a boundary but like. fuck#and you know what i wish my parents bothered to fucking understand how frustrating it is being called in so frequently#my mom specifically. i bring stuff with work up and its like a broken record. `if you go in all the time youll be seen as reliable!`#when i was talking about getting a day off to see my brothers marching last weekend she was like#`see what did i tell you? you make yourself reliable and theyll let you take off what you need` talking like i just asked for it off#after it had already been scheduled. girl i had to ask people to cover me still. i just#i hate it. i havent told her i told them i didnt wanna work clinic hours because she'd drill me about why#its just frustrating !! and when i say my genuine feelings its like she needs to correct me. like im thinking wrong.#this is why i had to fucking snap before setting the boundary of not covering clinic hours. because its always#`do what they ask every time because youll seem reliable` from my mom no matter fucking what. and then i already have issues#setting boundaries in general because i dont want to upset others or make them mad at me#ok sorry this has turned into. a wholeass vent. im just. at my wits end can you tell?#at this rate im really just getting nothing done. im going to bed#dont worry about me ill be fine. i just need to let it out and this is kinda my only outlet rn
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weebaby · 2 years ago
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Me playing God of War Ragnarok every time I have to to somewhere without Mimir:
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netaro--yowa · 8 months ago
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YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!
MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓
#i loevev them so much did you know that#currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw .........#and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick .#A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff .#that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE...........#so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha.#like that IS her voice right . im not going insane#its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ;#turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears .#and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines)#and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM ..#where theres something just ... sososo off .#and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is)#BUT . augh . auf even .#childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped#(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .)#the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour ..#aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really .#anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED.#uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony .#when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long .#which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious#i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality.#okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people?#and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping)#and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare .#uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but#i hope i got the point across <33#i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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dont-justdont · 1 year ago
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i cannot make edits for the sake of everything good but, BUT just imagine... crowley calling aziraphale angel (as he does) AND THEN UNKNOWN "you called me angel for the first fime, my heart leapt from me" AAAAHHHHH i cant and like a series of shots of them through time and looking in love and everything as the song goes on okay im gonna pass out bye
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cass-cc · 20 days ago
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#kinda fucked up that 2020 feels like it was just yesterday#and i was like 'damn i guess i havent really felt like a person since then'#but i know that's not true because i didn't feel like a person before that either#I've been in a slow downward spiral since getting covid last year and remembering that the whole time i was in school#i was just doing it because thats what i was told i should do#i dont feel like I've made a single impactful decision ever in my own fucking life#i talked about it with my therapist last year but i cant responsibly afford to go back to her anyways#and its not like ive made any real progress on anything#i probably haven't seen a doctor since i was in high school#i dont know what i want to be called#i dont know what i want to even DO with myself#because I've just been doing whatever my mom says to for so fucking long#i shouldn't have gone to college until i had something i actually wanted to do#and now i have stupid ass loans and for what?#not a fucking degree!#i dropped out four years ago and havent done a goddamn useful thing since!#i feel stupid and useless and directionless#i miss my friends#i wish there was something i was at all good at but i cant even get rid of things i dont want because i dont even know what that means#because if we're looking at it objectively i dont want *any* of the things i have right now#i hate my clothes i hate my room i dont use any of my art tools anymore and even my physical body is rejecting me#i can't even SLEEP right#fucking hell#delete later#my birthday is in a week and im lowkey wondering if it would have been better if my mom never had me lmfao#I've done nothing I've said i was going to do so whats even the point#I've got a cat I've gotta look after for a few days in november so obviously we're gonna keep cruisin but GOD i dont wanna be here#my issues arent even that bad in the grand scheme of things but because theyre happening to me it feels so much more intense because well#my life is the lens in which i experience the world lmfao#ive pretended like everythings fine for all my life but these cracks just keep getting bigger and im really not enjoying that at all!
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arolesbianism · 8 months ago
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Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats
#rat rambles#oni posting#now it does sadden me a smidge that itll probably be in paid dlc but thats a problem for future me#the bright side of new lore is new lore#the downside of new lore is the eternal fear of canon jackie and olivia designs#not because Im opposed to them getting canon designs its just so scary#like what if klei made them white how would I move forward from that#and its not even a situation where I can say with any level of confidence if they would or not because god if I fucking know#like they have until very recently seemingly deliberately avoided including anything Too lore relevant in any animated trailers#but that can kind of just be explained by well. the fact that most of those updates didn't include any lore.#and those that do involve it stay strictly in the dupes perspective#so I can't rly use that as any sign that theyre deliberately avoiding giving olivia and jackie canon designs#I would highly prefer they dont get designs even without fear of designs I dislike mostly because narratively it just works better that way#but hey its not up to me so whatever happens happens#I mostly assume future lore is going to mostly relate to the dupe donors we havent met yet and elaborating on some of the ones we have seen#but dont see a lot of if anything at all#I hope they dont mess with jackie and olivia too much but I do think itd be nice to give jackie just a smidge more like Ive talked abt#and other than that I could see them adding maybe new story traits and if they're feeling real generous more dupe lore#oh and if we're mega lucky we could get a dr.holland first name#honestly I hope that for dr.holland specifically they either just do a hard name drop and move on or just dont touch him#rly my main concern with any added oni lore is I Really dont want them to start telling us too much#I really really like all of our information being very fragmented and unclear as it adds to the post end of the world vibe rly well#and this is in fact a problem that they had in older versions of the story that they seemingly went out of their way to solve#so I rly want to have faith that they wont fuck it up but I have been burned before and oni has yet to have fully earn my trust#its not far off tho just the scrapped logs themselves give me faith that they are aware what story theyre writing and what needs done#again the scrapped logs are cool but would have dampened the narrative quite significantly from how straight forward they are#so them being full one scrapped early on makes me hopeful that they realized that too#rly I just dont want too much expansion on the stuff we already know#some names and work ids would be splendid and Im all for new fragments to try to place in the timeline#I just dont want a log where nikola stares at the camera and monologues abt the duplicant project or smth
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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the problem with conservatives is they think you challenging their beliefs is somehow oppressing them
#this is why i dont think punishing them physically necessarily works. while its a short term solution in the long run- if they have a#victim complex- which most conservatives who aren't just purely evil politicians kinda have been conditioned to have- they're just gonna#dig their heels in and count that as part of their supposed 'oppression'#they think you challengeing their precious binary. etc. is somehow oppressing them bc you challenge everything they've known and#have now since kinda grown attached to and the only lense they've seen the world through since forever#basically rocking their foundation of how they see reality- and since conservatives are afraid of change (kinda in the name) rocking#what they know makes them think you're oppressing them by making them actually think and be critical baout what they know#its like they take it as a judgement also. idk. as if their way of life is bad (which it for the most part kinda is) and that we're somehow#punishing them for believing in that life. it really does boil down to fear of the unknown and a desire to cling on to whats familiar.#'how dare you question my status quo lifestyle! everythings fine!! i swear!! im totally not in denial about how shit things've become!!!'#'everythins worked for me so far!!' aka they havent died yet. and are ignoring that other people are. and think their depressing life#somehow has something to do with other average people who are what. wearing make up and feather boa's. gods greatest sin of course dfhbhg#rather than the ruling class reinforcing a system that oppresses them and sucks them dry of their labour.......#but its fine!! guys!! remember?? its familiar. and we havent died yet. so its fine. man my back hurts and i wish i could take a 3 day break#i think we gotta also acknowledge that they're probably victims of abuse (since most conservatives are abusive too and probably inhereted#that trait from their even more conservative parents) and as victims of abuse... they probably do the same thing plenty of us have done#before too- where we didn't think anything better was possible/we could escape/we deserved better so we stayed in shitty situations for#longer than we deserved. and had to just think of it all as. fine. we havent died yet. whoevers abusing us has spared us from death.#so its fine. better than death. i guess.#how bleak of a worldview.
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chososlilprincess · 11 months ago
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pt. 2 of Virgin Choso!! if you havent read the first part read it here and part 3
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Virgin Choso who looks at your abandoned bag in the corner of his small living room. Standing in the little apartment he moved into recently, chewing on his lip anxiously. Should he text you? you’d realize it was gone eventually, and when you give him a call to tell him, he could pretend he hadn’t seen it. It’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to you, the opposite really, but hes scared. He’d probably be weird and act awkward if you two were ever alone, if you came to retrieve your bag from his home.
You and Yuji had been at his apartment earlier that day to help him move his furniture around. He’d heard the doorbell ring and when you had finally ascended to the top floor were he resided, Yuji had given him a brotherly hug, patting his back. And you,
You.
it’s the second time he sees you after he realised what he felt for you, and it’s getting increasingly hard to be around you. Especially when you keep putting on those adorable little outfits. He can’t focus, he can hardly breathe. Yuji, that idiot, knows that fact better than even Choso himself, seeing right through his brother. Which is why the boy had invited you today to help him. To torture Choso, to make him crack.
But Choso wasn’t weak. He could hold his composure. Even when Yuji walks past him and whispers, trying to hold his laugh, “maybe cut back on the staring a little today, she might actually notice this time,”
And now he’s here, all his furniture in the right places, but your bag in the wrong. You’d went to the gym he remembers, which is why you had it with you.
When his phone rings a minute later, his heart starts beating faster, already? he calms down a little when he sees it’s Yuji who’s calling, but his ease is cut short when he answers.
“hello?”
“hi Choso, it’s me,” its you. He can hear people talking and laughing in the background, probably you and Yuji’s new friends from your Jujutsu College. “my phone went out so i borrowed Yuji’s to call you,” you say sweetly, and before you can continue, a voice way louder than yours comes through the line, “she forgot her bag on purpose!!” Yuji shouts from next to you, before someone in the group can shut him up,
“not true…” you say awkwardly and laugh “but uh, is it okay if i come and get it tomorrow after my shift? it’s gonna be a little late though, sorry for the trouble,” he can feel that tugging in his heart, he’s excited to see you again, even if it’s only because of your forgetfulness. “it uh…it is no trouble,” he says quickly,
“thank you Choso…ill see you tomorrow,” and with that you hang up, and Choso is left with the silence of his apartment and the bustle outside of tokyo city.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
He’s sitting on the couch with your bag propped up next to him, did you really leave your bag here on purpose? why would you have done that? did you want to see him too? he sighs, wishful thinking.
He stands up from the couch and the movement makes your unzipped bag fall to the floor with a thud.
He looks to the floor, bends down to put the bag back when-
oh. fuck.
Laying on the ground is your used gym clothes, a big hoodie, some shorts, a top and also…
a pair of your used panties.
he freezes, his dick jumping at the sight alone. Theyre baby blue, with a little white bow on the waistband. fuck. no. don’t.
he picks them up.
He’s only just learned about sex, about relationships and about…pleasuring himself. And he’s already a massive pervert.
what would you think of him if you knew? if you could see him right now? desperately jerking himself off on the couch, whines and groans spilling from his lips, drool sliding down his mouth. your perfect little panties wrapped around his hard cock.
He watches as his pre cum makes a mess in them. he wants to make a mess with you. He wants to see you wearing nothing else than those same panties around him,
he takes them away from his dick and brings them to his nose. And when he breathes in the scent of your pussy, He cums so hard his mind turns blank.
And it hits him when he comes down, that hes disgusting. And your panties are ruined.
how can you make him feel like this. Without any cursed energy. without beating him into the ground. youre just existing, And that fact alone makes him feel so…weak? why does he feel weak?
He decides then that he needs to tell you, Its been building up in his chest for months. He needs to tell you that hes in love with you and that he would do anything for you.
he needs to tell you he wants to bury his face in your little cunt.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
thx to everyone whos been leaving notes<33 part 3 coming!!
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charrfie · 1 year ago
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THANK U FOR TAGGING ME I LOVE U!!! 🫶
C- classic j dies and goes to hell part 1 | glass beach
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E- ES | Crying
People I tag feel free to do it or feel free not to!!!! Hiiii guys o/
@nervigg @thatcatbasil @scaltrops @toothcereal @insulationsun @garlicrrow @birdwithabat
tagged by @3dfangs >:))) one song for each letter in my username YIPPEE
S- Safe Trips | OTE, Steven Ellis
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O- One Time, Pt. 3 | Satellite High
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Y- You Always Want to Bomb the Middle East on the Weekend | Cheekface
P- Personal | Stars
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T- This Comes From Inside | The Living Tombstone
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TAGGING UHHH... if you want to ! totally voluntary <3
@crispyclouddragon @corey-beepington @arcademoss @raypen @spatterats @the-pipisroomroom @charrfie @roarasaurus
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gin-juice-tonic · 3 months ago
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So, for Starters: Book Of Bill Spoilers warning. Another opinion from me below. (Here's my first opinion I shared, if you havent seen it) This new one is about the lost journal pages again, of course.
Originally, I wanted to make a super big crazy essay about all the reasons I think the journal pages in BOB (The Book of Bill’s given name) are fake, and show off my super-cool totally completely sound deductive reasoning techniques in the process.  
Unfortunately, knowing myself I’m not sure I’m actually capable of accomplishing such a feat. You all know how I tend to post things in parts, sometimes out of order, often never finished. However I would like to share something in particular that’s been eating at me that I’ve seen… partially discussed, but only partially. And certainly not the part that I would like to discuss. 
It’s about the rats.
You know, the rats.
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I saw these rats being talked about since before I was even able to have a look at the book myself. 
But before I get further into it all, I would like to start off with a joke: 
Why did dead rats, eggnog, a land orca, shrimp colors, It’s a Small World After All, and an Anti-Cipherite Suit cross the road? 
Well, that’s easy. To get to the other side. 
Of the book, that is. 
If you’re anything like me, you probably skipped right to the journal pages upon contact with the book. And if you’re even MORE like me, you were probably left a little confounded by them. Not only did they seem… wrong somehow. But they also felt random. Full of odd choices of subject that didn’t make a lot of sense. Could these pages really have come from journal 3? If so, why do parts of them feel so… completely out of context? 
And this is where the rats come in. As I mentioned before, I saw many people discussing them. In particular, they were noting their connection to this passage from earlier in the book:
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Many of the related discussions also felt odd to me. Though I lacked the knowledge to be able to articulate why at the time. UNTIL, I read the book for myself from start to finish. That's when I realized something:  This is not the only time something from earlier in the book connects back to the journal pages. In fact, it happens many, many times throughout the earlier passages. (Here is a small collection of them for your perusal.)
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And then it started clicking into place. The reasons the pages felt like they were so abnormally out of context… is because they WERE lacking context!
Now, before you can finish saying “Gin, you’re an idiot.” I would like you to ponder these three questions: 
1) Why, if these pages were taken from Journal 3, should they require context from outside of it to be able to be completely understood?
2) Why is it that this context can be found in what Bill Cipher has been writing in the preceding passages up till now? 
3) If you put food in a mogwai’s mouth at midnight EST but drive it over the CST time zone line back to 11PM before it can swallow, will it still transform into a gremlin? 
Okay, you caught me, that third one is unrelated. But the first two I believe require further thinking. So let’s delve a little further into the idea. Consider this the real third question: 
3) Are we to seriously believe that these, the only pages of J3 still lost to us, just so happen to tie into the new topics from the rest of the Book of Bill over and over like this?  
And since you’ve done so well thinking thus far, I’ll ask a fourth question: 
4) Are you aware of the concepts of Watsonian and Doyalist analysis? 
Assuming you don’t and you won’t google it, I’ll skip to the important part. Watsonian analysis is to analyze a story from within it, as if you yourself were Watson making deductions in a Sherlock Holmes novel.  
Now, from a Watsonian point of view, what happens when we try to answer our earlier questions? Why should it be that the Book of Bill provides so many of these points of reference to the journal pages? 
One possible line of thought could be that Bill wrote the earlier passages of his book *around* the idea of what was contained in the pages, but I think this doesn’t work for a few reasons. For one thing, the purpose of the book is to get the reader to make a deal, not to take a whole novel to set the stage for a 3 day mini Ford adventure. For another, not all of what I described prior is really fit to be called “context���, is it? The rats, the “Small World” cassette, and the Bill-Suit are one thing, but Eggnog? Shrimp colors? Land Orcas? I certainly wouldn’t define them that way. If anything, they’d be better suited to being called “references”. And unlike the more contextual ideas, there’d be no real need for Bill to sneak mere references to the pages into his grand story.  And lastly, there are a great deal of Bill pages that have nothing to do with the content in the journal pages at all.
So what exactly am I trying to say here? 
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If we do intend to think of the callbacks outlined above as references, the only logical conclusion within the story is that the journal pages themselves are referencing back to the Book of Bill, not the other way around.
But… how? And why? Something Ford has written in the 80’s shouldn't be able to reference something Bill is writing post-weirdmageddon certainly. 
That’s because “Ford” isn’t referencing it at all!
And as for why… Well, have you ever noticed when you're writing a story on the fly, things you wrote earlier all come crashing back to you as you try to wrap things up? I believe personally that the journal pages are nothing more than a strange endcap on Bill’s crazy train of thought! And the "references" are just fuel that further the pages creation. Almost as if, to quote someone much more knowledgeable than me on this subject…
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In the end, all I've described above (as well as other aspects of the pages I've not mentioned here) leave me with the impression the pages are not real.
As I stated only a bit earlier, the idea that these pages, the only pages of J3 purported to be lost, should be so connected to the rest of the book is beyond coincidence to me. Not to mention that in order to take these pages as total truth, you must give credence to several other passages of Bill's book as well. And I'm not too keen on having to trust him that much.
To all who have read this far, even to those who may have scoffed at the ideas in here or think I've only written up nonsense. Thank you for reading and considering my thoughts.
I am not saying anyone must agree with me on this. I know some people have found the pages to be important and meaningful to them, and I do not wish to give the impression that I think my view is the end all be all correct one, or that I think lesser of those who believe in them. I only want to share my own opinions. And to anyone else who found the pages to feel "off" somehow, possibly validate their feelings too.
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cheolhub · 2 years ago
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YOU GET ME SO HIGH — VERNON CHWE ࿐
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summary. smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.
wc. 6.2k
warnings. recreational marijuana use!!, dubcon (kinda? sex while high), bf2l + idiots to lovers, kinda fluffy!! weed is referred to as ‘green crack’ several times lol, fingering, hehe big d!ck!vernon, mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex, pet names (baby), brief tit worship, naked confessions, vernon is kinda shy, jealous, nervous & rlly likes boobs and reader is v needy lol <3— MINORS DNI 18+
note. havent seen anyone write for vernon in like 3 years so here’s my lowkey cringey, poorly-written, self-indulgent fic that i was supposed to post for his birthday 2 months ago ++ guest appearance from weed dealer!cheol bc yeah :3
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if you had told vernon that his best friend was someone he’d met in a biology lab–one that he was accidentally put into his freshmen year– he’d say you were a liar. nonetheless, it’s true– you’re his best friend and you have been for years now. in your fourth and final year of university, you still sit on the balcony of your apartment with him like you have every other day for the past three.
“happy birthday, vernon,” you smile cheekily, passing him a snack-size ziplock baggie. “i got you an eighth since you’re always begging to smoke my shit.” 
he laughs and gives you a lazy smile, “Y/N, my birthday was over two months ago… plus, you know you didn’t have to get me anything.”
you scoff, rolling your eyes, “hansol vernon chwe, you are my best friend, of course i had to. and… i was waiting for a few of my checks to hit, that's why it’s a belated birthday gift.” you take his hand, placing the bag into it. “now take it and don’t smoke it all in a day, got it?”
he nods, eyes softening, “thank you,” he says. “must’ve cost your broke ass a fortune, though, so next time– don’t get me anything.”
you giggle at the joke that’s actually, not really a joke. “i really don’t think you have any room to speak– who here has a real job?” 
he rolls his eyes, “my job is real, thank you very much.”
you chuckle, shaking your head. “reselling limited edition vinyls for seven times what you bought them for isn’t a job, vernon, that’s called being a dick.” you tell him. “and actually, the prices weren’t too bad. cheol gave me a discount.”
vernon almost visibly clenches at the name of your awfully-sweet dealer. though he can attest, cheol is only ever sweet to you. every time he’s bought from your favorite supplier, he’s been a total asshole and upcharges him for no reason which is one of the basis’ why he’s always smoking your stuff. you always tell him it’s karma for selling records at such a high price, but vernon begs to differ. he knows that cheol just doesn’t like him and he has a gut feeling that it’s because of you. 
“oh yeah? how’d you get him to do that?” he asks, but he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. the answer being cheol has a thing for you.
you bite your lip, looking over your apartment balcony. “mmm, he showed up here while i was… you know…playing around…and…”
vernon knows you well enough to finish your sentence for you. “masturbating?”
“vernon, be modest!” you whine, hiding your face in your hands. “you knew, you didn’t have to say it!” 
he chuckles, “it’s normal, Y/N, we all do it. no need to be embarrassed over it.”
it’s true. everyone does it. but not everyone masturbates thinking about their best friend. he thinks that might just be him. 
“yeah, but you’ve probably never done it thinking you’d be finished before your hot drug dealer shows up at your apartment.” you blush. vernon doesn’t say anything for a while and you’re afraid you’ve made him feel uncomfortable (even though he claims you never have). you bite the insides of your cheeks before uttering, “can you pack a joint or something?”
truthfully, vernon doesn’t mean to be so quiet. he’s just trying to imagine you in that state without letting his dick get hard, though it’s proving to be extremely difficult. you probably looked so pretty in cute short shorts and a shirt that you could see your nipples through. or worse, you were wearing a tank top that was snuggly wrapped around your torso where you could see everything. he wants to be a gentleman, wants to be respectful… but, god, your tits are out of this world.
he hums trying to rid the dirty images in his head, taking your box of goods to grab the grinder and paper cones. “finish your story.” he urges.
you look at him, searching for signs of discomfort, but there is only that stoic look he always wore. with a sigh, you continue, “anyway, i was… you know… and he texted me and said he was here– i was a mess–”
he can imagine.
“–and i think he could tell ‘cuz when i got down to his car i was so disheveled and was about to start crying. i literally looked like i got edged or something,” you mumble, twiddling your thumbs out of embarrassment.
you’re painting a picture for vernon and he has to bite back a groan. 
it’s not the first time you and vernon had talked about sexual things. there had been several conversations on the topic. he knew almost everything about you except for… you know… what you tasted like and how tight you are– his vivid imagination couldn’t give him all of those pleasures. 
“and, vernon, i kid you not, he literally knew. he was all smug and shit,” you groan. “it was kinda humiliating.”
you remember how much wetter you’d gotten the moment you slipped into his car. he was calling you all types of things– all types of pretty pet names–and you’re genuinely surprised it didn’t escalate further because the sexual tension was heavy.
“and then i told him i wanted a quarter– an eighth for me and an eighth for you– and he told me he’d give me a special strain of sativa for half the normal price.”
vernon’s eyes widened, “half the price?”
“that’s what i said!” you exclaim. “pretty sure it’s because he could see my tits… i wasn’t wearing the best outfit …”
of-fucking-course he could see your tits. vernon holds back a groan, seeing as his suspicions about you in a tank top that night was right. instead, he chuckles airly. “now who needs to be modest.”
“stooop, just grind the weed.” you cry. 
vernon does as you ask, muttering, “maybe he laced it.”
“cheol wouldn’t, i’m pretty sure he just likes me.” you humbly reply, shooting daggers at your best friend for even suggesting that. “plus the strain was called ‘green crack’ or something like that… it was from the ‘st. patty’s day special.’”
“saint patrick’s day was like 4 weeks ago.”
“well then he was either trying to get rid of it or my tits must’ve made him feel generous.” you joke, giggling a bit at vernon’s poker face.
vernon is hiding it really well, but he’s filled with so much annoyance. your stupid dealer doesn’t deserve to see you like that. hell, vernon doesn’t even think he deserves to see you like that, but, fuck, he wants to. so badly. seeing you all hot and bothered with your tits on full display would be a dream come true. 
“would you fuck him for free weed?” he asks all of a sudden, making you blush furiously. he knows now that he doesn’t want to hear your answer when your mouth parts in shock. 
“vernon! what kinda girl do you take me for?” you put your hand over your chest as if it’s something you wouldn’t do. you break your facade when he gives you a knowing look, mouth cracking into a grin. “probably, i dunno. he’s kinda scary but i feel like he knows how to please a woman– i can’t say the same about a lot of other men.”
he internally rolls his eyes. cheol doesn’t know you the way he does. vernon could please you, he knows he can. 
he switches the subject back to the packed joint in his hands to keep from spiraling. “wanna spark it?”
you shake your head with a hum, “mmh-mmh, belated birthday boy gets the first few hits.”
he smiles, pulling the joint to his lips taking the lighter, igniting it with the pressure of his thumb. he lets the flame burn carefully through the paper, inhaling a large rush of smoke. he holds it in for a bit before he blows it out– away from your face– creating a white, potent-smelling cloud.
you reminisce while watching him. your balcony is like home to you and vernon. contrary to your neighbor's beliefs, smoking isn’t the only thing you do. you laugh and cry and talk for hours about people you hate and people you love. sometimes, you’ll do homework out here and when vernon is bored at his own place, he’ll come over to yours to keep you company. he provides a comforting presence and never-ending encouragement while reminding you to take breaks.
 it’s where you told him about your puppy crush on soonyoung from your statistics class and it’s where he told you about how he awkwardly lost his virginity to a girl during orientation week. it’s where the two of you are always together– it’s kinda like your place.
and watching him after all these years, you’ve never really realized how attractive your best friend was. well, that’s a lie. you’ve always thought vernon was likely one of the prettiest men to ever walk the earth, but if you truly admitted that, then you’d have to admit to the other things. things like how kind and considerate he is and how he’s boyfriend potential and how you totally don’t have any type of feelings for him whatsoever. it’s not a crush, you constantly have to remind yourself, it’s admiration for your best friend. there’s a difference.
but those admirable traits are things you can’t think about because he doesn’t see you that way. there’s no reason why you should see him that way if it’s not reciprocated. it only makes sense and prevents brutal rejection from the most perfect man on earth, aka your best friend. 
but your not-crush manifests itself sometimes. like when he smiles at you or when he randomly places his headphones over your head and tells you to “listen to this song” or when he spends the night in your bed because he’s too lazy to drive home. it gets harder and harder to hide every day. 
he passes the joint to you with an even lazier grin and you take it, parroting his actions. you let the smoke fill your lungs, hold it there, and exhale, shutting your eyes just as he did. 
and vernon thinks you look like a goddess. how could you make a simple action seem so attractive?
you take your hits, passing the joint back and forth till it suddenly hits you. all at once, you feel your body start to ache, your tummy flipping in anticipation, your mind fogging over leaving your entirety to buzz. you shift a bit and you feel your cunt dampen causing you to let out a sharp exhale.
“you good?” vernon asks, his deep voice filling your ears.
then you look at him. like… actually look at him. his face is a bit tired, his eyes red from the weed coursing his system, and his hair a bit disheveled from running his hand through it too much (this is why he wears the beanies)-- nevertheless, he looks fucking fantastic. 
your usual munchies are replaced with strong, burning sexual desire. just at the sight of your best friend, your pussy is soaking through your panties and your shorts.
“‘sol,” you murmur out the nickname. “do you feel… different?” you ask, eyes fluttering and lips parting.
you’re truly unaware of how seductive you look and how it’s slowly taking years off his life. vernon has been rock hard in his sweats for a solid 15 minutes now. and, yes, he feels extremely different. turned on to say the very least. 
“mmm, a little,” more like a lot. “maybe it’s the strain you got,” he mumbles, implying what he had said earlier was true.
it makes sense that cheol provided you with a strain that feels like you’re smoking a fucking aphrodisiac, but you’re starting to wish you were alone so you could at least do something about it. 
for a split second, you think you might be fine, then you’re hit with yet another wave of arousal, your core pulsing at the ideas that are incessantly popping into your head. ideas of him taking you right now, sitting on his face, sinking onto his cock– it’s too much. 
“vernon,” you say breathily and he freezes, pulling the joint away from his lips. “i… i think…”
you try to think about how to kick him out kindly so you can have some much-needed alone time, but you can’t– you can only think about having alone time with him. alone time that leads to shoving his hand down your pants. 
stop, you tell your hazy brain.
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asks, scooting closer to you. 
his scent floods your senses– a mix of weed and his cologne causing sensory overload in your poor brain and aching core. 
he’s internally worried that you’re greening out. though it doesn’t happen as much as it did when you first started smoking, there are rare occasions when you take more than you can handle. 
“c-can… you do me a favor?”
“‘course, anything.”
“vernon… it… i…need your help.” you whimper, leaning into him. “please…feels like ‘m gonna die.”
you’re being dramatic. 
he furrows his brows in confusion, panic becoming apparent on his features. “what hurts, Y/N? how can i help you?”
you take his hand in yours, slowly guiding him to the ache in your body. you gasp when his warm fingers come in contact with your clothed cunt. “here… it hurts here.” you exhale.
vernon has definitely lost it. his hand is between your thighs and your smaller one has moved to tightly wrap around his wrist. you’re a mess– he can feel it. he can feel the warmth radiating from your core, he can feel how you’ve soaked through your panties and how it’s seeped through the thin pair of shorts. he’s holding his breath and he fears he may pass out before getting a chance to touch you like you deserve. 
“y-you’re not in your right mind, Y/N,” he whispers, afraid his voice may betray him. “you smoked too–”
“uh-uh, it’s okay– vernon, it’s okay, i want you… please,” you whimper, grip around his wrist tightening as you buck your hips slightly for more friction. 
you want him. you… want him. 
“but–”
you’re growing frustrated, “if you won’t… then i-i think you should go ‘cuz i need… i need to be alone.”
vernon takes this as an implication that you need to fuck yourself if he won’t fuck you and he’ll be damned if he’s not the one making you see stars. 
so, he asks one more time, “Y/N… are you sure?”
“yes… yes, ‘m sure. ‘m so sure, please, ‘sol,” you beg, using the nickname that makes him fold every time. 
he doesn’t hold back, putting out the joint in his hand and leaving it in the ashtray. his now-free hand cups your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. you moan, eagerly allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth as your hands needily fist at his shirt. 
despite having smoked, vernon’s lips are soft. softer than the lips of men you’ve kissed before. and he still tastes good even with the pungent lemony flavor lingering on his tongue– overwhelmingly good. it seems that he’s just as eager and turned on as you are, too, nearly devouring you whole. you can’t help but fall in love with the heated, now-sloppy kiss.
and vernon truly feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. he’s not sure if this is even real or if the weed has him hallucinating… it wouldn’t be the first time, but you biting down on his bottom lip has him coming back to earth and lets him know that you’re real. that you are very much real and very much grinding on his fingers desperately. 
“vernon,” you pant, pulling him closer by the shirt in your grip. “please, more— feels good, but i need more.” your hazy eyes look into his and you see how they’ve darkened.
“fuck, Y/N,” he groans and his voice has you clenching around nothing. “we need to go inside…”
you’re both sure that this might ruin your relationship, but you decide it’ll be a problem for tomorrow. right now, all either of you can think about is getting off on each other. 
that’s why you’re quick to stand on your feet, holding out your hand for him to take. when he stands, grunting, you pull him into your apartment and leave all of your goods on the balcony without a second thought. 
you drag him to your room before attacking him with another kiss and pulling at the ends of his shirt. you’re a bit disoriented, swaying and stumbling over your steps, but when your legs hit the bed and you nearly fall, vernon’s quick to catch you by the waist. 
“careful,” he murmurs, gently laying you on the plush mattress. you scoot to the head of the bed, laying on your back as you wait for him. 
he takes your expectant face as a sign to remove his clothing and he does so quickly, knowing how impatient you are at this very moment. his shirt comes off and then his sweats, leaving him in boxers where his bulge becomes… apparent.
you have to hold your breath at the dizzying sight of his naked torso and the massive tent in his underwear.
you make grabby hands at him, urging him to come take care of you on the bed. he obliges, getting on your bed, hovering over you while his own head spins. he’s truly unsure if this is actually his real life or if he’s having a dream sent from the gods above. 
he decides not to wait any longer, taking control of the situation by placing his lips on your heated neck. his lips trail down, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your skin, reveling in how you desperately whimper for him though he’s barely doing anything. 
his hands reach for the hem of your loose top– one that might actually be his– pushing it up and tugging it over your head and arms, leaving your chest bare before him. he groans before diving to your tits, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, sucking and tugging at the bud hungrily. 
you gasp at the sight. you’ve never seen vernon so eager to do anything in the time you’ve known him and now he’s making out with your tits as if it were his last day on earth. 
that’s hot, you think to yourself. so hot– you’re so fucking hot right now.
you can’t see it, but you feel his hand come down to your sleep shorts, digging in past the elastic band of both the satin fabric and your cotton undies. his fingers dip into your lips, running them through your soaked folds. 
“you’re so wet.” he hisses. 
you whine at the contact, apologizing softly, “‘m sorry– can’t help it.” 
his fingers find your hole, circling it before easing two of them inside. “don’t apologize, baby. it’s really hot.” he whispers, the pet name slipping past his lips without completely registering. 
you clench and moan at the domestic name. “fuck, ‘sol,” you whimper. “a-again… call me that again…”
his face burns, whispering out, “you like when i call you ‘baby?’” 
knowing vernon, it was meant to sound like a genuine question, but being in the state you’re in, it sounds so seductive… so enticing that it has your back arching. you nod your head, an even darker blush falling over your already-red cheeks. 
you let out a clipped, “yes.” and he just moans, thrusting his fingers in and out faster, digits stretching your tight, gummy walls out to prepare you for his cock. 
he wonders how you could be so tight because, holy fuck, you’re squeezing around his fingers like you’re trying to trap them in there. 
you whine softly, “vernon, please give me more…”
he definitely just fucking died. 
his cock twitches uncontrollably in his boxers, begging to be set free, but he decides to give you another finger instead. vernon knows he’s… a bit on the bigger side, and judging by how you feel right now, there’s absolutely no way he’ll easily fit inside of you. the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 
so he slowly pulls his hand out of your shorts and helps you out of them. he throws them to the side and has you spread open. he huffs at the sight before taking three of his fingers back to your hole. he pushes them in gently, groaning at the tighter fit. your moans are bouncing off the walls and vernon looks up to see your mouth hung open with your head thrown back against your pillow. 
he checks on you, throat dry at the sound, sight, and feeling of you. “i-is… are you doing okay?” and when you just whine, he bites the inside of his cheek anxiously. he remembers your fondness for the pet names from a few minutes prior, so he tries again. “baby… does it feel good?”
and he’s not sure what to expect, but when your body jolts and your hand's fist at the sheets, you get even tighter, clenching around his fingers desperately. you really do have an affinity for being called ‘baby.’ 
your brain is jumbled, intoxicated from the weed and his fat fingers stretching your cunt open. “‘m okay… f-feels so good.” you tell him breathily with a whine bubbling in the back of your throat at the feeling of his fingers pushing further into you. “fuck, vernon– it’s so good.”
and it’s true, you don’t think you’ve ever experienced pleasure this intense before, but you remember your senses are heightened by 10 because of the drug. that ‘green crack’ is insane.
he moans at the confirmation, curling his fingers up and fucking your messy cunt, the palm of his hand bumping against your clit with every thrust. he feels a rush of your honeyed arousal soaking his fingers and he swears he might cum before he can even get his cock in you. 
you gasp loudly when you feel his pace quicken, eyes squeezing shut. an array of mewls and high-pitched whines shamelessly slip past your lips. “oh! fuck, i’m close, i’m so close, vernon.” you warn, wet walls clamping around his curled fingers.
he exhales sharply, voice low when he urges you, “cum for me, baby.”
his voice and harsh thrusts are more than enough to throw you over the edge, stomach knots unraveling. you gush all over his big fingers, pussy pulsing as it’s doing its best to push his digits out, but he continues his ministrations to work you through your blinding orgasm.
feeling you cum may have been the best thing life has offered him. 
“fuck, that’s it– are you okay? did that feel good?” he asks breathily, pulling out his fingers, a string of arousal connected to your hole following them out. he bites his lip at the sight, keeping a moan bottled up. he wants to taste you so bad… and the cum on his fingers taunt him. 
you nod your head, still panting, “w-was so good, y-you’re really good… don’t usually cum that fast…”
“really?”
you shake your head, “t-told you that guys don’t really know what they’re doing most of the time.”
he shakes his head in disapproval, “well… you deserve the best.” 
“... like you?” your heart races and the weed from earlier still lingers like a cloud over your brain. you look at him, the soft light from the moon illuminating his flawless skin. your eyes trail down his torso, eyes landing on the big bulge in his boxers again. 
he chokes, masking the sound with a nervous chuckle, “me? i-i’m not…no.” your eyes widen, realizing you’ve completely misread him, feeling panic flood your body. you quickly shut your legs, arms coming to cover your bare chest. 
he’s quick to notice that you’re starting to spiral, though, so he re-registers what you said and then what he said and his eyes widen, too. his words come out rushed as he attempts to do damage control. “no! not no, as in i don’t see you in that way, but no because you deserve the best and…”
“but… you are the best, ‘sol…” you tell him softly, hugging yourself tighter. “and before you say anything, the weed is wearing off– think you finger-fucked it out of me,” you joke to lighten the mood, but when you see he’s still frozen, you internally cringe at yourself, continuing. “i’m being serious. i’m in my right mind and i’m telling you that you’re the best because you are. you always have been.”
he shudders nervously, “Y/N… don’t.”
you frown at him, turning your head away to look at your window instead, mentally face-palming yourself. “did i make it awkward again?” you ask nervously. you don’t even wait for his response, continuing your anxious ramble. “can you just forget i said anything? and that i made you do this? i…i don’t wanna lose you– i never want to lose you.” you whisper. “you’re my best friend.”
he shakes his head incessantly as if he’s trying to tell you something with the simple action, but you aren’t even looking at him, so he takes a deep, shaky breath. “no, you didn’t make me do anything. i just mean don’t say things like that if you don’t really like me because i…” he trails off and you turn back to look at him, concerned by his sudden halt. “Y/N, i… like you. so much. i have for forever now, but you were always talking about soonyoung or cheol and then there was that whole thing with that pretentious art kid– minghao, i think– i dunno.”
what!?
you look at him incredulously, eyes wide and lips parted in genuine shock, “why didn’t you tell me…?”
he sighed, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “it seemed like i never really had a chance… you’re my best friend, too… and i didn’t want to lose you either.”
you sit up, exclaiming, “but you’ve liked me this entire time and i didn’t even know?!”
he gives you a small grin and a shrug, “what can i say? i’m discreet.”
you scoff, sitting in silence for a few seconds before opening your mouth again. with your voice meek, you say.“i wish you would’ve told me.” you inhale sharply, continuing to hug yourself tightly. “i like you, too, you know… i just didn’t think you liked me back so i tried to not like you– which is really hard, by the way, because you’re annoyingly pretty.”
“sorry, i’ll try to stop being so pretty.”
you playfully slap his bare chest, “i actually hate you so much.”
he jokingly sulks, placing a hand over where you hit him. “aw, baby, you just said you liked me.”
you shudder, body naturally leaning into him as your mind gravitates back to your not-so-innocent thoughts. “i do… and i’d like you a little more if you kept calling me that.”
his breath hitches as you get closer and closer, “yeah?”
“mhm…”
he whispers against your lips, a cheeky smile on his, “you’re such a baby.”
“you’re so mean,” you hum, letting your lips graze his. “am i not your baby?”
he rests his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes for any sign of playfulness. you seem to be serious so he asks, “is that what you want?” he’s nervous you can hear the way his heart is about to pound out of his chest. 
“duh… idiot.”
“okay, cool.” he says nonchalantly even though he’s internally freaking out. “you’re my baby.”
your heart skips a beat and your cunt dampens again at the title, “okay, cool.” you parrot casually as if your heart wasn’t about to lurch out of your chest. “you can… kiss me. if you want…”
vernon utters a soft ‘right’ before finally closing the gap between the two of you. his lips mold to yours and you know for a fact that there is no one else on earth you’d want to kiss. his big hand comes to cup your cheek and you melt under the touch, mouth opening for him to slip his tongue into. 
naturally, the kiss heats up and before long, you’re whining into his mouth, hand blindly reaching for his clothed cock. he groans the second you find the aching hard-on, nimble hands stroking him through his boxers. 
“Y/N,” he pants breathily in between kisses. “are you… sure you wanna… do this?”
you think it’s sweet that he keeps checking on you, and sure, you’re still a bit fuzzy from the after-effects of the ‘green crack’, but you need him to give you what you want. so you nod, breaking from the kiss to lay back in your original position under him. 
“please fuck me, baby,” you beg in the most sultry voice you can conjure up. when he stays frozen, you pout. “hansol, please.”
he curses, quickly getting his boxers off and revealing the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. precum beads at the slit of his flushed tip and prominent veins run through the length. he’s so big, surely enough to have you see stars. you’re starting to feel grateful that he prepped you because his dick would have completely ruined you without it.
“‘s big.” you simply state, bottom lip finding sanctum in between your teeth as you gawk at it. 
“you think so?” he gives you a wobbly smile, stomach-churning at the subtle praise. he moves in between your thighs and spreads you out for him. “is it okay?”
you blush, nodding your head, “mhm, don’t worry,” you tell him. “i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.” 
he nods, huffing softly, “do you have any condoms?”
you chuckle breathily. “not for your size… but it’s okay, i’m clean and safe. you don’t need one. you can pull out if it makes you feel better.”
his throat runs dry– fuck, fuck, fuck. he’s fucking you raw?! how the hell is he supposed to last hitting it raw?! you were already tight around three of his fingers and he can’t even imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock.
he realizes he hasn’t replied in a few seconds when you say his name softly. he sees you growing restless under him and he apologizes and nods again dumbly. 
he runs his tip through your folds, moaning when he finds you’re just as wet as you were earlier. he aligns himself with your leaky hole, slowly pushing himself inside of you with a groan to find that you’re still so fucking tight.
you’ve found that, despite vernon’s laid-back and chill personality, he’s quite loud in bed. he’s nothing like you expected and you’re pleasantly surprised. 
when his cock slides in between your tight walls, the both of you are instantly a mess, panting and moaning in pleasure. your walls envelop him so snugly that you fear the thick veins that adorn his length will imprint into them.
“fuck, vernon.” you moan, praying the burn in your pussy melts to pleasure soon so he can fuck you the way you want it. the way you need it. . “your cock.”  
he hisses, pushing in past the resistance. “you feel so good, baby, oh my god.” he grunts, head falling back at the way you hug him. “god, i’ve wanted this for so long– wanted you for so long.”
you cry, clenching around his girth because, god, you’ve wanted him, too.
when he finally bottoms out, you both pause to take erratic breaths, positively going feral over each other. he attempts to recollect himself and check up on you again. “are you–”
you don’t even let him finish, nodding your head vigorously. “yes, vernon, just need you to move, please.” you plead. ��need you to fuck me– please, need it so fucking bad.”
you’re so needy for him and he knows it’s because of the last bit of weed that looms, but he can’t help but wonder if you’re like this on a normal day. if you’re always begging for a cock to fill you up. not that it would matter– he’d do anything you asked of him. you’re so fucking pretty to him and his brain is constantly yelling at him to cater to every single one of your wishes. the chokehold you have him in is so tight. 
tight like your pretty cunt that’s now gracefully swallowing his cock with every thrust of his hips. your room is full of panting, moans, and the lewd squelch of your wet pussy taking him. it sounds better than any song he’s ever heard and, if he’s being completely transparent, he hopes to experience this for the rest of his life.
vernon unexpectedly comes down, craning his neck to latch his mouth around your nipples again, stimulating you there, too. you’re sure the position is a bit straining, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he moans loudly into your chest. his hand plays with the other nipple, switching every minute to give both of them love and attention all while his cock steadily rams in and out of you. 
your hands tangle in his hair, smothering his face into your tits while he moans and whines some more into them. 
and when he adjusts slightly and his tip hits that spot, the one that makes you crumble in seconds, a sob wracks through your entire body.
“there! shit, baby, right there, please.” you gasp, back arching into him. 
vernon asks breathily, removing his face from the comfortable spot on your chest, “there? that’s it?” 
and you nod, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as you feel the pressure build-up at the bottom of your tummy. he continues to hit the spongy spot inside of you, bringing you closer and closer. 
his own face is pinched and he can’t stop the soft whines that come out of his mouth. you just feel fucking amazing. 
“a-are you close? i’m not gonna last long.” he pants out. 
and you weakly sob out a reply of ‘yes,’ hand moving to toy with your swollen clit. the action immediately has the tightrope inside of you coming undone for the second time in the night. you mewl out his name, clamping around him tightly and coating his cock in slick cum. 
it’s like a chain reaction that has vernon cursing and pulling his dick out of you. he eagerly fists at his cock, jerking himself off till he releases all over your puffy pussy. he’s moaning softly, prettily calling out your name. his heart pounds rapidly and his entire body twitches at the feeling of release. 
his eyes finally open after a few seconds of trying to regulate his breathing. he sees the way your cunt is dressed in white and how you're slowly, but surely, coming down from both of your highs. 
“hey,” he whispers. 
“hi,” you mumble, eyes fluttering open. your hands reach for him and he can’t help but find you so cute. “c’mere.”
he smiles, leaning down to kiss you again. unlike your past few kisses, it’s soft and innocent. loving. he parts after a minute or so, hand moving to sweep the hair out of your face. 
“are you sure you’re alright?” he whispers. “i feel kinda bad…”
“don’t, ‘sol, i wanted it. i’m really happy.” you tell him sincerely. “are you alright?”
he sighs, “i’m really happy, too… i just wish i would’ve taken you out on a date or something before… fucking you.” 
you shake your head, “we did it kinda backwards, but, seriously, i’m just happy you’re here… happy that you’re mine.” he blushes, moving to hide his face in your neck while you giggle. “if you wanna, we can go on a date now?”
“where?” he mumbles into your neck.
“7/11– channie’s working so that means free big gulps and rollers… you know, since some of us can’t afford to eat real food because of their ‘job.’”
vernon scoffs, pulling his face out of your neck and giving you a stern look. “dude, it’s a real job–”
you laugh, effectively cutting him off. “okay, scammer– if it’s a real job, why are you always stealing my fucking weed instead of buying your own?” 
“because weed is scarce these days and your bitch ass dealer hates me– why should i have to pay $20 for a gram when you only pay $5?” he nearly cries. “and, since we’re on the topic, i don’t like him. he’s too friendly with you.” that’s code for “he obviously wants to fuck you.”
“you’re jealous of cheol!”
he groans, rolling his eyes, a tiny pout appearing on his face, “so what if i am?”
you coo, “aw, baby,” hand coming to cup his blushy cheek. “you don’t have to worry about him,” you relay to him, voice laced with sincerity. “you’re the only one i want.”
he goes a little bug-eyed at your words before clearing his throat and nodding. “good. that’s good.” 
you raise an eyebrow, “just good?” 
“no… it’s great…” he mumbles cutely. “you’re also the only one i want.”
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emero0 · 1 month ago
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Ight im analyzing Bake no hana or “flower of transformation” cus its in my brain
Spoilers for mizu5 (obv but heres your warning)
(Lyrics from project sekai wiki)
This is mostly line distribution but feel free to add more
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So the first lines are about mizuki (obviously)
Probably about people looking at them weirdly and how they’re used to it — and how they’re cute but its “wrong” its “a sin”
Also this is a music thing but enas lyric “its off” is off beat with the song as well
Then more about mizuki crumbling and breaking sown with their secret because it was revealed before they could reveal it themselves
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Next, i find it interesting how every time this lime is sung its by kanade, mafuyu, or both (+kaito)
Which could be in reference to the fact that neither of them were there when everything went down
They also seem to take on more narrator roles like in the beginning
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Following this, Ena sings this line every time as well — likely in reference to her not being able to say anything to mizuki and being unable to take back the look on her face when mizuki found her—a face that could be seen aa disgust or “ugly” - “makeup” because its not how ena truly feels
(Which btw—i believe was mainly in part to “oh shit i just found out the secret ive been patiently waiting for before i was told and now i feel awful” and not “oh my god mizuki is trans” or whatever your interpretation of that is considering THEY STILL HAVENT CONFIRMED ANYTHING—which is slightly frustrating but alas we can wait)
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Next, either mizuki not wanting to go back because they are tired of running—or even (and im leaning towards this one) they cant go bavk to being a kid, to being “how they were”,
“Blossoming” into this flower, they cant go back and not be trans, theyve bloomed into who they are, even if its “off” and “a sin”
(Im trying not to push trans stuff (NOT /neg) and just look at it as it is but its really hard to see it another way for me /lh —a trans person)
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Next, another song thing—when mizuki tells everyone to disappear—they do
No one else sings except kaito, and then when they sing “stay with me” they come back
Then they repeat lines with kaito which could mean something-but it may also just be adding kaito to make it different the second time around because music theory
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Nearing the end—this may very well be 1: mizuki not knowing the future and mafuyu-ing into sekai
But it could also be a nod to the player—not knowing the future-and until they do mizuki not showing up in the “real world”
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And finally—the curse of being born the way they are, they’ve had enough of running (away from their problems, their mistakes) and have essentially done the game equivalent of —well— disappearing
Overall i really want a full version and i think what we have so far is very interesting—i dont have jpsekai so im probably missing some stuff-but i have seen mizu5 so thats where most of this came from
(Will be avoiding most social media tho cus the arguments over this are—interesting… tumblrs been good so far tho ^^’)
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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ok moment over its all good
oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.
#probably for the best. at least I've realised I can't do it now rather than once I got there bc that'd be a lot more stressful#I can get the rest of my chores done today and then find smth fun to do at home instead that won't be as overwhelming#I havent actually played any videogames for 3 weeks now bc I've been finding even doing little things to relax so difficult#so maybe that should be my plan instead :-) get my ass back on elden ring!!#and its okay ive seen the band before anyway and maybe theyll come back another year!!#and if not well at least i got to see them last time it was one of my fave gigs ive ever been to.. glad i have the memory of it#like its a shame but not the end of the world. maybe next time theyll play local so its not so much hassle for me to get to!#plus im seeing another fave band in a few weeks anyway and that one IS local and i roped a few friends in >:)#so will 1000000% be going to that.. always something else to look forward to#but yea its cool. i can refund my train tickets. not much sunk cost anyway cuz the gig tix were cheap in the first place#i was just rly angry at myself for a moment abt it but well. its been a difficult time lately and im still recovering so i need to be more#patient with myself. these things happen.. i dont have anything to prove by forcing myself#ive done similar solo trips in the past and i will be able to do them again eventually when my feet are more solid on the ground#and im still in the middle of titrating medication which has been a rocky thing like once i get that sorted itll be so much easier#just bad timing innit!#sad to be missing out on things with friends this weekend too but its ok. i hope there'll be other times in the future#where i dont have conflicting plans n I do actually get invited. I was worried abt tripping my rsd over it but I think I'm safe from that#might have a moment or two where it twinges but nothing significant#again its prolly for the best. if I had gone or been planning on going I think that actually wouldve set it off quite badly#bc i still havent fully regained confidence/trust in those specific friends yet and idk exactly how long itll be until I do#and I'm not in the right state to go out to big group events either but thats cool I have 2 irl socials planned next week already#and we'll probs do a movie night and I'll call one of my other friends another night. so plenty of other nice things planned :-)#man ive given myself a hell of a headache im gonna take some paracetamol and make lunch#and then ill write a list of chores for this afternoon. surprised at how quickly I calmed down n thought things thru actually#maybe meds are actually helping.. hmm. anyway sorry for losing my shit I experience mild stress and start acting like a prey animal#.diaries
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