#probably because i'm closer to ace on the whole spectrum!

[mrbexwrites]

WIP Tropes Tag Game

Tagged by the amazing @sarahlizziewrites in both of my guises, but keeping writblr stuff here, so as not to scare the non-writblrs followers! 

Tagging @at-thezenith, @words-after-midnight and @magicmoon65, as well as anyone else who is looking for an excuse to ramble about their WIP. Please accept this open tag as an invitation to say I tagged you and share it with us!

I’ve had some awesome feedback/tips/suggestions from my beta readers, so feeling energised and I’m currently back editing (ugh!) Memento Mori’s entire story arc, so I’ll answer for all 4 novellas!

Rules: highlight the tropes that feature in your WIP

Found Family | The Chosen One | The Martyr | Surprise, Bitch! You thought I was dead | Enemies/Rivals put together for a project | Teen gets kidnapped; parent goes on killing spree to find them | Happy Ever After | Black and White Morality | Fight scene turns into a make-out session | Only one bed | The airport/train/bus station love confession | AUs | Amnesia story | Villain and hero fall in love | Love triangles | Bookworm falls for the bad guy | Killing off the audience’s fave characters | Smalltown falls for Big-City | Princess kisses a frog & gets Prince Charming | Villain redeemed | Protagonist beats “best in the world” | Enemies to friends to lovers | It was all a dream! | Coming of age story

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Hi! I know that it would be AU to your AU, and I’m also sorry in advance if this annoys or upsets you in any way…but I was wondering if you’d ever consider showing Alastor as just Ace like he is in the show?

I want to be clear I’m - in no way, shape, or form - against aro or aroace people or representation for them. It’s just that canonically he’s only confirmed to be ace and as an ace person it makes me a little sad sometimes for Ace characters and Ace people to always be assumed to be/portrayed as both. Ace people are not always Aro and vice versa.

Hey! No worries at all, really! <3

So, for the Murder Husbands Partners AU, I'm going to stick with writing Al with the idea of being aroace because its very intertwined with the story. I think there's a lot of very interesting angles to explore there, particularly as it involves Al's personal biases coming into conflict of both who he is and what he kinda has to learn, that love doesn't always require the kind of love that he expects. Similar thing with his view on family, that 'family' doesn't necessarily have to mean that perfect picket fence with a wife and children, you know?

But as for my other writings, I try to keep Al and Vox as close to 'canon' as possible. The Murder Partners is very much my sandbox, but the closer I get to hazbin proper, the more I like to keep parallel to what we already know. So, like, for Statistical Outliers, my first fic, I really try not to definitively say what Vox and Alastor's relationship was on purpose, only that it deeply affected Vox and that Alastor still haunts him to today, in various forms, because we really have no idea what was going on with those two, except that obsession and vitriol runs deep between them both. There are headcanons and my takes on things, but, personality-wise, I'm hoping to keep them close. Same kinda thing for the apparent offshoot that's erupted from the AU/Canon interactions. One of my goals is to be as close to canon for their personalities as possible. That includes Alastor being Ace, and keeping the romantic side vague like in the show.

Personally, I've read so many really, really good fics with Ace Alastor in radiostatic with so many different angles to approach from, but I totally get how you feel. Assumptions always lead to issues, and can be incredibly disheartening. But with my writings, I like to look all sorts of different spectrums quite a bit. He's written to be aroace in my silly little AU, but he's Ace in the canon offshoots.

And if you want to take the AU and bring your own spin on it, you're more than welcome to! I'd love to see what people come up with. Just don't forget a shout out, especially so I can read it <33

(As a side note: if you asked my personal take on how just being Ace would affect my silly murder boys, I think Al would totally flip out the minute he thinks realizes he fell for Vox (because of course that'd happen). I think he'd assume he should be intimate with him once he gets over the whole 'oh my god I like a man' thing. Again, that'd probably stem from his personal biases. And Vox, being Vox, might just break down and cry of happiness if Al ever told him he fell in love with him....and then immediately turn to reassurance because, 'No, Al. Let's see if your comfortable with anything physical first, take it super slow, and 'no' is a perfect answer too. No rushing, cause we've got the rest of our lives together to figure it out.')

Thanks for the ask and, again, no worries at all. <3

[innitmarvellous]

So I read some books about aro & ace identities recently, because while I am quite sure that I'm ace and probably even aroace, I'm still struggling a lot with the ramifications of this discovery about myself, even though I first noticed this about myself a few years ago.

That's why I tried to make myself feel better by reading these books in the hope that it might be helpful in any way...and that's also why I took some notes about things that always bugged me in some way, both while reading the books and before that. (I'm not done with the books, but I already noticed enough recurring issues for a whole post.)

First, I really would like to feel at least sort of good about it. It doesn't have to be pride, just some sense of it being alright. I know that's not a prerequisite, but I don't want to feel unhappy and uneasy all the time just because of my identity :/

And there are some things I like about it. For example, having found a name and explanation for whatever is going on with me was undoubtedly nice, and I like the fact that the community seems to be very open to people identifying as ace or aro no matter where they exactly are on the spectrum. Well, there are always the exclusionists, but that's technically the consensus and I like that.

Still, there is this unpleasant feeling that doesn't seem to go away. The fact that there is something I will never understand and never experience - despite desperately wanting to. I guess that is the problem if something just isn't there, and that's just so hard to accept. Like, other people also might struggle with their orientation, but at least they do have the option to find someone who feels the same and will enter a relationship with them - while this is entirely impossible for me. And I think that's where I struggle the most, honestly. Knowing that there is no way to get the thing I want with my logical mind, because my feelings won't allow me to - and thus people on the outside won't consider me as 'relationship material' in any form since I'm lacking something crucial. And yes, I entirely understand that this would make people avoid me when it comes to relationships. After all I could never give them the thing they would expect from a relationship and it would be unfair towards them if I entered a relationship while being unable to do so. But it really doesn't make it hurt any less, and it definitely doesn't make me feel good about myself. There is something missing about me, that's just an undeniable fact and it reduces my worth in the eyes of others. Is that fair? Maybe not - I can't say, as I can't see things from their perspective - but it just is how things are. But it is very, very hard to accept.

Oh, and there is another thing that keeps being mentioned: namely that relationships without sex or of course also even fully platonic relationships are possible. But honestly? That doesn't really comfort me at all :') Because...I wasn't even nice and attractive (in both a physical and personality sense) - and whatever else - enough for a "normal" relationship, so it feels downright illusory to tell myself that someone will accept me despite my "defects" (if that's what I'll call them in this context, since that would be an allo person's view in most cases, I assume) and agree to have whatever kind of deeper relationship with me. That sounds like such a nice dream, and yet that's all it is and will remain: a dream. It's simply impossible, and that just feels bad. Because I would want to have closer connections to people, but I can't. Idk, but that is a bit cruel, especially as it isn't exactly my fault because of a choice I made.

I also feel kind of uncomfortable identifying myself as queer or part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I'd like to, but idk, I fear I wouldn't really be welcome in most queer spaces since I used to think I was heterosexual before I came across the terms ace and aro. Also, I was never oppressed due to my identity and had technically no trouble to pass as more or less some kind of straight allo late bloomer, so idk... And well, I see why my constant talking about some fictional/celeb mancrush I've got might make people think that I'm a liar and just pretend to be aro or ace for attention or other reasons. In fact, the exact same thing happened to me when a guy fell in love with me and I was forced to tell him about probably being ace. He didn't believe it because "I was always crushing on anime guys" and basically accused me of deliberately leading him on and it wasn't pleasant :/ (But I can't help it...I mean, a celeb crush doesn't require me to act on anything! I just find a guy attractive in whatever shape or form and it makes me happy to have my silly little daydreams about him and whatever. But it doesn't necessarily mean I graphically dream of fucking him, despite what I might jokingly say.) Anyway, I think it would be useful if I could confidently use the term queer for myself because idk, it would make things easier. As in, I'm definitely not "normal" aka not the standard straight cis person I once believed to be, but yeah...I still doubt that I would be allowed to call myself queer. I'm too different to be considered normal and too normal to be considered queer, I guess. So I'm sure people wouldn't be too happy about me pushing into their communities. Falling between the chairs again :')

Maybe all of my doubts and all that stuff...it's not so surprising, though. I mean, I kind of assume that most people wouldn't be too happy at the prospect of lifelong solitude and loneliness, without any chance to form deeper bonds with other people. Or maybe it's just me, who knows. It definitely scares the hell out of me and I hate it so, so much. And well, that makes it so difficult to make peace with this annoying sexual/romantic orientation of mine. (I would change it if I could...but alas we all know that's impossible.) I don't know what I exactly expected, but I surely didn't sign up to a rather sad lonely life of unhappiness and yet that is exactly what I will get :/ Another thing that is very hard to accept, and I genuinely wonder how other people managed to deal with that... I know accepting it and facing that truth is the only possible way, but yeah...I still can't bring myself to feel good about this. I mean, I've been lonely for my entire life, so I don't know...maybe I just hoped this would change at some point in the future and finding out that this will never happen now is kind of soul-crushing, honestly.

Lastly, I know that this is mostly a lengthy and overly personal rant post, so maybe no one has even read until here. But if someone did and feels like commenting, then I would really appreciate that, because...I still don't really feel fully enlightened on how I'm supposed to feel now. Maybe talking to actual people would help, but who knows. Again, I'd appreciate it if anyone wants to share their thoughts (my DMs are also open btw), although I'm aware that a random Tumblr post probably isn't the best way to solve my problem. ^^

[buddiesmutslut]

I saw a post the other day about someone being pissed that people were calling Eddie gay instead of bi only because they couldn't handle more than one bisexual person on a show. Now, I didn't make Eddie gay/demi, he was born that way, BUT it got me thinking, because the whole crew feels very fruity? SO, I want to get your guys' opinions on what you think the rest of the characters are. (JUST the characters. We're not speculating on the actors. We all know this.) I'm going to put mine below & I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts :) These are by vibes only. As a definite demisexual and probable bi woman, idk how great my gaydar is, but sexuality is a spectrum & straight isn't the default, so let's go!!

Bobby - 0% fruity. That is a straight, middle aged white man (affectionate) if I've ever seen one.

Athena - Also straight.

Chim - Chim feels very straight to me, but that scene with the bachelor had me peering at him a little closer, because I've never watched the Bachelor, but it looked like Joey (I think that was the bachelor's name, right? I've never watched a single episode of that show so I have no idea) had been around before, so I couldn't tell if he was like, starstruck, or "Wow that's a pretty boy and it's making me feel things" -struck 😂

Maddie - I don't get many vibes from her either, but I also have a vague fic idea of Madney breaking up in s4/s5 and her ending up with Shannon instead, so idk, maybe she's just unlabeled but somewhere on the spectrum of queerness?

Shannon - Bi vibes

Taylor Kelly - 100% bi, I refuse to hear any other argument.

Lucy Donato - This is a pansexual woman if I've ever seen one, you cannot convince me otherwise. (Also, the most interesting AND likable of Buck's female LI's, argue with the wall. Lucy, they'll never make me hate you bby 🩷💛💙.)

Lena Bokso - Lesbian vibes, for sure. I don't think there was ANY romantic undertones with her and Eddie (Which, I'm not saying that's the only reason I think she's a lesbian. She can like men and not like Eddie. Even if she did, Eddie wasn't in a place to do anything with those feelings, but I saw a post about that pairing recently & wanted to throw my 2 cents in)

May Grant - May also gives off queer vibes, and I've seen other view her as full wlw, but I think she gives off more bi/pan vibes?

Ravi - This man is soommmeee kind of queer that I just cannot put my finger on. I've seen him HC'd as gay, pan, & ace in some way, and I can honestly rock w/ any of the 3 of them. All I know is that he is not a straight man lol.

Albert - Also unsure about him, but if someone were to tell me that he was bi, I could definitely see it. I think that's influenced by the fic that had him, Ravi & May in a throuple, which was genuinely so cute.

Ana - Dr. Flores doesn't give off queer vibes for me, but that could be bc she was criminally underdeveloped & we know practically nothing about her.

Natalia - See above ^^

Ali Martin - Same ^^ although I could see her just being queer and not being more specific than that. Maybe she's straight, who knows. I literally forgot about her until I was looking up actor/actress names 😂

M*risol - straight & homophobic lmfao

Abby - Literally could not care less about her, but I wanted to include her so I could talk about her possibly being Tommy Kinard's ex-girlfriend and her coming back to LA for whatever reason and finding her ex-boyfriends happy & having totally forgotten about her predatory ass.

Also, obviously not speculating about any of the children, bc they're still children, even if they're fictional. It's icky.

I think that's all the main/reoccurring characters that we don't already know about, let me know if I missed any.

Talk about being the gay firefighter show, how accurate lmfao.

[byjillianmaria]

1 for the character of your choice, 14 and 21!

1. What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?

Most of my MCs are cisgender, just because I tend to write from closed POV and as a cis person I want to Stay In My Lane LOL. But Florian is genderfluid! He can shapeshift and will change between presenting as masculine and going by Florian and he/him pronouns, or feminine and going by Florence and she/her pronouns. That said, the actually presentation is mostly for the convenience of the humans around him and doesn't really have much to do with how he sees himself, if that makes sense? Like, he'd be genderfluid whether or not he could make it so people perceived him as such, and his experience of his own gender would still be the same as it is now.

I also imagine that Eden has a more fast and loose relationship with her gender! At the time of canon she doesn't really have the vocabulary to describe it, but I think post-canon she gets very into researching nonbinary identities and finds a lot of it resonates with her... she still presents quite femme and goes by she/her pronouns but I think she'd id as closer to a demigirl or something similar!

14. Do you have ocs on the aro or ace spectrum?

Yeah, there's a character in Creep Club who is aroace! Just, not particularly interested in that whole scene. Really cares hard about frienships though! I honestly probably have more, I'm just sorta blanking right now...

21. Free ramble card wee

OH BOY. Um... have this ramble I wrote to myself about the gothic horror I want to write later this year? Be warned that it's not very uplifting tho. This book is kind of a lot XD

[nyanbary]

Things I Think Are True about the Ratgrinders from the Bad Kids Backstories, bc lets face it, they're mirrors of each other:

jy spoilers, obviously. under the cut bc its decently long

Lucy Frostblade: Siblings, brothers. Feels like a middle child and not the eldest, but her having brothers is important to me. Whole family is religious. They all worship Ruvina. Solidly middle class. While the Frostblades used to be royalty/noble, they aren't anymore. And they don't act like it. Sapphic. Need I say more? Actually, I'm thinking Biromantic and the Ace-Spectrum, instead of being a full-blown lesbian, but still. She was always considered prodigious in her Clerical studies and her interpretation of their religion. Extremely empathatic. Finds herself wanting to help everyone.

Ivy Embra: Family is from Fallinel, like Fabian's mom is. But they're not as well off as the Seacasters are, nor as important as the Lomeneldas. They did get their money through dubious means and are new money Parents didn't really show their affection around the house and are almost never seen together. Though, they are both alive, as opposed to Fabian's parents. Ivy's mom has a lover that lives in the garage /j. Actually it's the pool house and he's no where near as pathetic as Gilear, but still The only children raised by their parents right now. There are jokes of Bill having countless of bastard children running around and I think Ivy's dad has a second family. Was semi-forced to go down the archery path of her mother. Ivy's mom was a pageant girlie and really good at archery (her like, special skill) and that's why Ivy chose that as a fighter. Has complicated feelings about her parents and doesn't see herself able to rely on them other than monetarily.

Oisin Hakinvar: Rich. Stupid rich. Old money rich. Has siblings, more than Adaine. Had to attend a bunch of events for his family, even though he was the "black sheep" for wizardry Originally born in the Red Waste and moved to Solace bc of parents

terrible relationship with his siblings. always pitted against each other and can never really live up to them, because he chose wizardry instead of sorcery. didn't have many friends until aguefort. mostly bc of being a standoffish dragonborn, even as a child, but still. kinda friendless until aguefort.

Ruben Hopclap: Divorced parents. lives w/ dad. he's practically never around tho. Mom remarried/is about to remarry & has another, much younger kid. has complicated feelings about this kid unlike Fig, but it happened when he was younger braces kids. both fig and ruben. fig has her younger imo. fairly popular in middle school. never in the same circles, but both were well liked, friendly people. fig just went through her alt phase two year earlier

Mary-Ann Skuttle: artificer parents grew up near little branch actually, closer to where a bunch of other kobolds lived. didn't have many friends, but honestly, didn't care unlike gorgug parents were confused about her wanting to be a barbarian, until they realized she was really good at it and were immensely supportive extremely sex-positive parents. the Skuttles have their own sex binder. when the thistlesprings met the skuttles, they compared notes

Kipperlily Copperkettle: Both need therapy /j. different reasons obviously, but both need it. both had halfling babysitters that went to aguefort. riz's was just the one that got kidnapped :/ instantly knew she wanted to be a rogue. there was nothing else for her to be. prefers Rogue stuff to romance. tho i dont see her on the aro/ace spectrum like Riz. she just doesn't need the distraction

Buddy Dawn: Helioic. Easy enough Has siblings. probably too many bc he's so mormon coded grew up in the church and always knew of his destiny, even if kristen's was more important travelled often on mission trips prefers not living with his parents, even if he feels more guilty for saying that. he lives w/ bobby in order to engross himself into clericdom and it gives him freedom. queer.

[amysubmits]

Anon from earlier, about the asexual thing. To clarify what I meant about the stereotypes (I was gonna include all of this in the original but didnt want it to be too much or feel like I was ranting/lecturing. Sorry it ended up too vague in the end.)

The stereotype most present is that asexuals don't have sex or dont seek fulfillment through sexual relationships. Asexuality is about attraction, not libido or activity, and it's a spectrum, not a you are or you aren't. I totally recognize part of that was presumably specifically in response to the original anon saying they dont necessarily think a lot about the sexual part, but, and this is a good example of how not being familiar with the community can trip people up, sex positive/favorable aces usually do at least engage in, if not actively seek out, sex. So the whole thing kinda played into the "asexual always means absolutely no interest in sex" stereotype.

Also, sort of a side note, re your answer to my first question, there's really nothing I've seen on your blog indicating that you are or aren't asexual, though of course I could have missed something. You are probably right that original anon didn't care whether their question was answered by someone who wasn't ace, or they would have gone to a blog by a kinky ace person, but your blog doesn't make it super clear that you are not that.

And for the record, I am 100000% not saying that like, your answer was terrible or even like, offensive. Theres just so much shit in the kink community that gets piled on aces and aces get excluded a lot from kink stuff bc of that specific stereotype. Ill own that Im a bit sensitive to it bc the kink community in my area does really cool events that I have been told not to attend because of it.

Thank you for elaborating, I appreciate you helping to educate me.

I didn't understand that asexuality can be just about attraction rather than being about the degree of 'drive'. I knew it was a spectrum, but I thought it was more of a spectrum between being sex-repulsed on one end, to having a lower-than-average amount of drive and/or attraction (I thought some people identified as ace for low drive and others for low attraction) on the other.

Now learning otherwise, I realize I was incorrect in saying that it should be clear from my blog that I'm not asexual. I am demisexual, so I guess according to some at least, that would make me asexual?

I guess within the context of that question, it still seems to me like they probably were trying to imply that they have a lower sex drive, though? Because this person they're playing with is their boyfriend...so if their asexuality was on the end of the spectrum closer to demisexual, I don't know that they would be asking how to make BDSM and asexuality mix, as a demisexual person would theoretically have no significant differences in their sex life or D/s dynamic while in a committed relationship than someone who wasn't demisexual. Right?

I didn't mean to suggest that asexuality always means the person has no interest in or isn't open to sex. I knew that wasn't the case, and I understood that the anon was saying they are open to sex at least to some degree. Despite realizing that, I had no way of knowing the degree to which they're open to sex, and I had the general recognition that they might be struggling to mix BDSM with their asexuality, so I thought it made sense to focus my response on non-sexual things that might work for them. Though maybe me focusing exclusively on non-sexual stuff could read to people as if I was assuming this person has no interest in sex at all?

I think what may have been read as feeding into that stereotype the most could have been my comment about if my sexuality's were 'removed from me'. I can see how someone could read that and think I was saying asexuals are people who have no sexuality at all? That wording was not the best choice, and I can see how I could have been hurtful. I am sorry about that. I should have been a bit more careful with my wording. I wasn't saying that to try to use that as an analogy for asexuals. I was saying it to try to make the point that for me (and I think many others, asexual or not) many aspects of submission can be unrelated to sexuality.

Also, it's totally understandable that it's a sensitive issue for many in general. With you being excluded from events over this...it's easy to understand why it would be a real sore spot. I'm sorry that happened to you...that's just not right.