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homespork-review · 4 years ago

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HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

#homestuck #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread #let's read homestuck #Homespork

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defeatedbyamerechild · 4 years ago

Photo

Here is my evil team organization. Remember the droog and child evil team, I asked that. So here is my grunts for Team Myriad. These children are obsessed with fighting trainers and never talk at all. Speak in rhynmes or numbers. Well sometimes but not often. Are they friend or foe?

“These child like grunts have mysteriously appeared in the Galar region. Their motivations and faces are unknown. The thing they love the most is pokemon battling.” Utilize in normal, fairy, psychic, and steel. But will use other types if they have to.

So do you like this concept? Also any criticisms for my drawing or improvements. Like their appearance, looks, or design? Would this be an interesting team?

PS I wonder how the pokevillains would react to this team. Intrigued or confused? Love your blog.

----------

I forgot about this sorry!!! I saw it the other day and forgot to reply.

Anyways, I really like the designs you have there and I can definitely see the inspiration from the Clockwork Orange aesthetics there. I like that they don’t talk and use rhymes, this is cool dialogue. It is, to me, relatively hard to picture it in an official Pokémon game because I don’t think Nintendo would want it to look too creepy and I can definitely picture this content in a creepy pasta aesthetic that I... don’t think Nintendo would wanna approach. It would be doable, though. And of course, as fan-content, even the creepy pasta style or other horror-related styles are valid. Anyway, it’s a versatile concept that could be used in many ways from just mysterious to actually scary.

I really like the masks, at first I was a bit confused because I thought these were their faces, before reading what you wrote there, but as masks these are neat. Also they are something I can see Nintendo going for, I mean, they literally gave Allister a creepy mask so why not?

Overall, yes, I like it! The concept is neat! As a basic premise for a team that works well for me, even if their goals are unclear. You are basically making the “unclearness” part of the concept. Also really like how you wrote their description in a Pokédex-style, like... the text really reminds me of Pokémon stuff. :3

The only thing I’m still kinda curious about is how this could be developped in order to remain interesting throughout the whole game/story (if a game/story were to be made with it of course), because in terms of narrative, just “it’s a mystery” with no further development can become rather boring or repetitive, or seem kinda disconnected from the rest of the narrated events (depending on how it’s done). Also it could be a problem if the mysterious events are not explained *at all* in the end (half-explained and up to interpretation endinds are good alternatives in my view, but, at least for me, “we’ll never know who they were after all” tends to be a disappointing ending).

Basically, I like the overall idea you gave me, there’s nothing here that I think is a bad idea, but I would find it hard to use if I were to make my own story with them because of the problems above. Maybe you have all that in mind and you already have a superb story with them that works perfectly well, in that case, great, I just wanted to mention what I thought of the concept in practical terms as a (bad) fanfiction writter. XD

BUUUUUUT of course I’m not the executive producer of Game Freak receiving the concept for the next game that I should review or anything, so all this is irrelevant. Even if you didn’t develop their story any further, that’s totally fine. You don’t even have the obligation of thinking this through and answering these questions, you can definitely just make your concept and visuals and not actually use it in a game/fanfiction/comic etc, that is perfectly ok. I’m just a boring person graduated in Language Arts that will go and make boring analysis of stuff. XD

About the art... I think it looks really cute! I don’t wanna go and criticize stuff based on style, like “the heads are too big, limbs are too thin” or something like this, because this is just your style. It’s an aesthetic choice. I could say that the heads are larger than what they usually are in Pokémon games, but honestly, so what? You don’t have to emulate the Pokémon style in order to create Pokémon content. So yeah, you can play with proportions as much as you want and since the drawings seem consistent in terms of symetry and style, that’s just ok.

That said, my only criticism might be...

1. The female grunt’s legs seem a bit too long (even considering the stylistic choices, I’m comparing her body proportions to that of the male grunt). Basically, if you put that same lenght of skirt on the male grunt’s body, it would go down to his socks, but on her she still has the same amount of skin + socks + boots under all that, you see? So maybe make her skirt shorter or make her boots and socks shorter... Or give up on showing parts of skin. It’s easy to lose the sense of proportions under loose clothes like skirts, but if you trace the body silhouette under her skirt, that will probably become clearer. It’s always nice to try and make a full silhouette or skeleton before drawing clothes, in my opinion. (Also this could have resulted from the angle you took the picture! could be just a distortion on the photo that made it look different, so if that’s the case, ignore this XD)

2. This could be a stylistic choice too, but I’m gonna mention it just in case, the limbs look kinda “noodle-ish”. This can also influence your measurement of body proportions like “where exactly does the arm bend”, “where exactly is the knee”, this sort of thing... Of course, as I said, it could just be style, like Adventure Time, for example. They just have those noodle arms. But since I don’t know if that was a conscious choice or not, I decided to mention. Lots of people (including younger me) start by drawing arms (and hands!) as a “continuum”, so if the arms are streched, they are just one straight line from shoulder to hand (some people will even make it shoulder to fingers and put the hand in the noodle pack). And if the limbs are bent, the elbows and knees, fingers and wrists, fold in not very precise places. However, I found it easier to draw arms, legs and hands by subdivinding these limbs into smaller sections. It’s easier to keep them proportional and understand how they bend. You made their arms fully stretched in a way where elbows are not visible and, in the girl specifically, seem a little bit short? Again that can defintely be used as stylistic resource, so only consider this tip if you’re aiming for a more realistically-proportional style.

3. You may wanna make the male grunt’s feet a bit larger? Also they are inclined and I don’t know if that was done intentionally or not. (or if it was just the paper bending a bit when you took the pic).

I’m like... not a professional artist or a teacher or anything. I’ve literally never studied art, so when I give out these feedbacks, they are usually based on my own life-experience and what I’ve learned drawing. But it’s always hard to set the line between style and mistakes. I was once told that you must first learn the basics of actually proportional anatomy before you can start playing with it, so when people ask me for tips, I try to stick to the things I’ve learned myself while developing my knowledge in anatomy and proportions. Not that I am like.. an expert, of course. So yeah, basically, don’t take my criticism as the ultimate truth, I’m still just learning just like you. ^^

About suggestions and improvements: Maybe add something to their canes, on the handle part? And maybe adding detail to their boots... But only if you want to of course. Also, have you thought of eyelashes for the masks, like... eyelashes on only one eye or something? This wouldn’t be for the grunts because I think they look great just like that and are already complex enough, but you might wanna use that for admins or something? Specially if it’s eyelashes on the lower half of the eye.

I also would like to say that I couldn’t read everything you wrote, sorry.... I’m bad with handwriting! So forgive me if I said anything redundant that you had already put in the info. ^^

And finally... I don’t usually make reaction things in submissions, only during ask events, so forgive me for not giving you the villains reactions here. I hope you understand. ^^

SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG REPLY AND FOR THE DELAY, I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT I SAID INTERESTING AND USEFUL MAYBE?

#submission #collab #thanks

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twitchesandstitches · 5 years ago

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Swapping Out Your Body, infinite headcanon forms for everyone!

One of the inspirations for Crossthicc’s general scope and free-for-all approach to altering your body for profit and self-expressions is the tabletop RPG Eclipse Phase, a post-apocalyptic sci fi setting where one of the main draws is a transhumanist approach that, among other things, manifests as virtually unlimited immortality for everyone and technology that lets you swap bodies as you need

This is important, because a similar assumption is baked into Crossthicc, and I want to be sure that it’s understood?

the bodies a character is described as having? They are not permanent.

any given character’s body can be what you want, if it makes sense!

The exact ways of swapping bodies differs from faction to faction, and on an individual basis, but the key point is that anyone’s body can be switched up if needed.

This is for several purposes; first, any headcanon look can be implemented, with it being a body a character happens to be using in that specific scenario. This also allows me, or anyone doing stuff in this AU (which you have full permission to do, btw!) to do whatever character design they want to go with.

Want, say, a character who is an alien in this AU to have a human form based on their canonical appearance? You can have it like that!

Want, say, Terezi to appear as a humanized human woman? Doable! Want her to have a troll look compliant with your headcanons? Also doable!

Want Gems to have a totally different projection style? Doable! Want a Gem to be placed into a physical body, with a situation similar to Steven’s canonical hybrid thing? Can do!

Want to make a character who is explicitly human to have a monster/alien body, like making Sierra into a full on demon/angel monster creature? It’s doable!

ESsentially nothing is set in stone, and any character can have whatever body is required for a given scenario.

A few limits on this sort of thing below:

Powers and how they affect this: Powers transfer. It is assumed that physical mutations and mods are permanent and stick to the character, so if they swap bodies, they will manifest on the body. Powers proper (defined as actual metanormal abilities, such as pyrokinesis, and not related to physical abilities) always transfer, since they aren’t really a body thing. They usually MANIFEST as such, but they are more soul-based than that!

Body swapping effectively works by taking your soul and swapping it into a new body. As a consequence, there CAN be mental consequences;; your soul is You, but the body’s brain does the actual thinking, and changes in the brain chemistry you were used to can have issues. Other methods may have their own problems, too, depending on how it happens.

Mental health can be closely tied to a body that Feels right; if someone’s self-image of themselves is tied to being a specific perception of gender, being put into a body that doesn’t fit it can cause severe dysphora, and something similar applies to a body lacking certain qualities, such as claws, amphibious skin, or otherwise mapping to what feels Right for that person. A powerful enough person (at least enough to be notably bigger than normal) can cause a body to mutate to match their self perception.

(Note that the above doesn’t apply to girl-ifying male characters if desired; if this happens to them, its likely they at least have a bit of curiousity towards percieving themselves as women on some level or at least seeing what a different body would be like. The default assumption of this AU is that anyone is at least a little bit non-binary, where this particular idea is concerned!)

Bodies are not cheap to make; whether flesh or mechanical, a construct suitable to be used as a suit for your soul does take some time and effort to create, assuming you can synchronize with it. Swapping to a new body isn’t a minor decision!

Each faction has their own vibe for this sort of thing, and it is assumed everyone does it. The Fleet explicitly usually unbirths people who have died and gestates them new bodies to their specifications, in a pregnancy-focused form of resurrective immortality, and they can do this to willing people to give them new bodies as they want. The Stingers probably handcraft new bodies in special formsmithing shops, at great expense for the best quality forms. The Coalition distill new bodies in gene-vats, paying VERY close attention to synchronizing them with customer’s minds.

#crossthicc au #twitchy ideas #queued

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ad-cn · 5 years ago

Link

^This link goes to the tweet thread by @lystrialle that describes in more detail about the news.

The tweets are transcribed below. It’s a long thread.

lystrialle:

All right, here's a long incoming thread from your girl here about what "Miku no longer being a Vocaloid" means for the benefit of those not as deeply in the circuit, and why that's actually not as terrifying or world-ending as it sounds (bear with me)

So as much as "Hatsune Miku" has been considered synonymous with "Vocaloid" for a long time now, that wasn't actually the case from a technical standpoint. Miku and co. are licensed VBs from Crypton that worked off the Vocaloid engine from Yamaha.

This is basically akin to how a lot of virtual instruments run on the Kontakt sampler, or how games run on different consoles. These analogies are gonna get real important in a bit, so hang tight.

Unfortunately, Crypton having to be dependent on Yamaha's engine for their products meant they were subject to a lot of very strict limitations Yamaha was imposing on any company licensing from them. Most infamously, Yamaha doesn't actually allow VB devs to roll out patches for any VBs they release -- "updates" have to be separate products.

At one point in 2008 Crypton infamously had to get around their dissatisfaction with the newly released Rin and Len by literally mailing a copy of a disc with a new version of the DBs (act2), legally registered as a "new product" offered for free to those with the old version.

This means that Crypton (and all other companies) were basically very limited in how they could push out updates, when they could do so, and in what way they could configure their DBs.

Most significantly, ever since V3, the Vocaloid editor now has its own price tag on it.

It's been getting more and more difficult to get in as a beginner, and that's been a severe point of concern for the community as of late. V5 has a price tag in the literal hundreds and has hefty CPU requirements, and is out of reach for a lot of beginners... and so that means if Crypton wanted to update any of their DBs, they would be obligated to release it as a V5 release, which would mean *removing* compatibility with older versions and basically trapping it to be linked to the most expensive editor iteration to date.

Here's a bit of a history diversion: when Crypton's first V3 came out (KAITO V3, February 2013), it came bundled with a little thing called "Piapro Studio", which at the time was basically just a reskinned Vocaloid engine. But it was notable because it meant prospective new buyers of KAITO V3 (and future Crypton relases) weren't technically bound to buying Yamaha's editor for the product to be usable.

More notably, Crypton thereafter stopped using the word "Vocaloid" to describe Miku and co., instead terming them "Piapro Characters". For those of you DIVA players: have you ever noticed how they very much have always been dodging the word "Vocaloid" in places it wasn't already grandfathered in?

Yeah, this has probably been incoming for a very long time ago.

Two years ago, in April 2017, Twindrill (the entity managing UTAU Kasane Teto) sent some Teto samples to Crypton just to hear how it sounded in Vocaloid. When wat (an engineer at Crypton) played around with it, he promptly complained that Teto lost all of her identity in the Vocaloid editor, and shortly after suddenly had a huge burst of inspiration for development of technology that might significantly enhance all their vocal banks.

Yesterday, at the same press conference that announced all this, he showed off what seems to be the result of this. The press conference described technology that would be uniformly applied to all six of their vocals and enhance their expressive capabilities and clarity, and a bunch of vocal processing helper tools... all of which would be impossible to implement in Yamaha's Vocaloid.

The point eventually made was that the reason for the split was simply that Crypton's goals and more ambitious plans for their products simply wouldn't be doable within the constraints of Vocaloid and V5. They plan to continue working with Yamaha and the community, of course.

In effect the analogy is best described as a Kontakt instrument deciding to take itself off Kontakt and run off its own sampler, or Monster Hunter not being on Sony consoles anymore. The substance will continue to exist, even if the platform is different.

So what does this mean for all of us? For the users, this is a Very Big Deal, because the assumption that anything would be obligated to Yamaha is now broken and Crypton is now capable of whipping out a lot of things they never were able to before. It'll probably be cheaper, which is important for beginners, and the user will have more options to choose from. People who want to use Miku, or Rin or Len, or whoever will still be able to get them, and they'll still be in active development.

People who want to use the others in the Vocaloid editor will still be able to (in fact, I still don't have that much issue with personally using V5). Moreover, the fact Miku is probably the only thing with more name value than the word Vocaloid means that there's now precedent for competition and for other companies to consider ways going forward that don't necessarily have to involve Yamaha's monopoly in it.

For the listeners, what'll change is... probably not that much, to be honest.

Of course a new engine probably means it'll sound a bit different, and hopefully better. And Crypton fans at least will have to get used to eschewing expectations of updates coming around only with new iterations, new designs coming out at X time, or whatever. But it's unlikely this change will have a huge impact on how producers do things, and so, Miku will still be Miku, the others will still be the others.

And finally, what this means for the community: well, currently we're having a crisis on what to call ourselves after having called ourselves the "Vocaloid" community for so long 😅

But while this is certainly the most drastic incident on face value, there have already been different engines in this community for years now. I started off as an UTAU user. CeVIO is getting bigger, and 1st PLACE is dabbling in it. SynthV just came out and is up and coming. GYARI is making headlines with Voiceroid songs. We're still one community.

Because yeah, in the end... people are still probably going to do what they're gonna do. Miku is still Miku. Vocaloid is still Vocaloid. People are still gonna create, the end result will be similar, it's just the methodology that's changing.

In fact, most of the fellow users I know are very excited about this because it opens up a ton of possibilities. I personally am very, *very* interested in how this is gonna go (especially if I end up saving money in the end!).

Moreover, the new technologies showed off at the press conference were very exciting, and Crypton's also demoing a new music search service that inherits Piapro and KarenT's philosophy of being open towards competitor software. They're *very* aware that the community operates best when they're able to mix and match and choose what products suit them best, and that trying to stop that would be shooting themselves in the foot.

So while I do of course still have some degree of uncertainty, I'm sure we're gonna be fine.

So, yes! It sounds crazy and it sounds like a blow to our sentimental value of the reality we know being turned on our heads! But as someone who's been here for near exactly ten years, I honestly welcome this development as something that could take our community further.

So I hope that clears it up for anyone potentially confused. Thank you for bearing with this 😊

#LONG POST #VOCALOID #Hatsune Miku #Crypton Future Media #Piapro #I got the go-ahead from the OP to post this #Reference #Yamaha

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tamaracamerablog-blog · 6 years ago

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dnd-inspiration · 8 years ago

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If you’ve sent me an ask within 30 days… it's here!

If yours isn’t here, send it again! I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you guys. It’s been a few crazy weeks, I’m generally a lazy person, and having more than 5 asks stresses me out so I avoid my inbox. So lets get to it!

@leonmashedpotatoes Hello there, I'm going to be running a 3.5 shackled city campaign and I'm excited about the campaign, but I'm nervous because my homebrew campaigns have been making me super overwhelmed and I don't end up having any fun playing and the session just ends anticlimactically. How can I keep myself from getting overwhelmed? I figured it'd be easier since I'm using a module but I'm still nervous that I won't end up having fun PLeS HalP

It depends! Why does it overwhelm you? Are you organized enough? Do your players ask you stupid questions that you didn’t think you had to prepare for? Get good at predicting those dumb questions, or get good at improv. Are they doing things you don’t want them to do, like going north when they should go south? Just change the stuff happening in the south to the north. Or block off the path. I’d also recommend taking a 5 - 10 min break. Get up, stretch, get some snacks, etc. AS for anticlimactic session ends, try to plan for a good stop or stop playing too long. Sometimes sessions I’m in go so long we basically end when someone falls asleep.

@meme-regime

Hi, gonna DM a campaign that revolves around 2 countries at war. The campaign will eventually build up to each country having a superweapon, but the players only know about the enemy's. They are sent to stop it and while gone the allied country's goes off accidentally. My question is, how should i get my players invested in the story and really care about and join one side, rather than just do mercenary work? Its a war over land, so neither side is necessarily in the right, morally. Thanks!

Ask them to come up with detailed backstories about where they’re from, any friends, etc. Put those NPCs in the town in the region you want. Maybe one side pays well, maybe one side is filled with [x “evil” race]. Have them meet NPCs that they themselves care about their land. You can’t really force anyone to care about anything. I always stressed myself out when I cared if they did, so I stopped caring. And weirdly enough they started!

@ anon

I want to start dm'ing a campaign. Any advice for someone who's never dm'd before?

Just read up on the rules, find a module you want to try, read through it, and relax!

@ anon

I need to create a D&D character for a group me and my friends are starting. How do I go about it?

I use the app “5th edition Character Sheet” and I love it. If you pay 1 dollar you get to level up easy. There are guides online to help you out. Reading the player's handbook also helps! Make sure you and your buds know what level you’re starting at, and if you’re doing point buy or rolling your stats.

@sevenawkwarddays

So, I just recently started DMing and my group really seems to enjoy inns and enjoys roleplaying visiting one. I'm running out of gimmicks and fun quirks to give them and was wondering if you have any advice or suggestions?

Watch/read/listen to media related to that and take inspiration from there. Look up historical inns, look up local bed and breakfast joints, etc. There are some cool podcasts about history, myths, etc.

@irl-yuya

I'm writing a campaign for my friends (in which I will be both DMing and playing a character) should I get ideas, just knowing my friends' classes and see what happens or wait until they've finished character building? (We're using fan made classes. Dancer, Death Weapon (based on the show Soul Eater) and Dragon Slayer Wizard (based on Fairy Tail.)

Its your campaign, you should make it no matter what they want to play. Their races and classes shouldn’t matter too much. I’m in the middle of writing a campaign where Drow are despised, much more than normal, and driven out of towns. I’d gently suggest my players not play Drow, but hey if they want I won’t stop them. They just need to know what they’re getting into. I’m not about to change my entire campaign just because they want to play Drow but not be treated unfairly.

@ anon

Im setting up a Lamia lair in an old desert ruin, and so far i have a Lamia, jackalweres, manticores, and slaves occupying it. I have a maze, main lair, and slave cages planned, but i want it to be bigger. Any ideas???

Honestly I have no idea what Lamia is and google didn’t help… so here are some maybe not so helpful suggestions.

Room of pots, some overflowing with rubies. When you dig for more, its sand. If one breaks, endless sand pours out.

A giant room with pillars, and a single set of stairs that almost goes up to the ceiling.

A room dedicated to giving gifts to gods. You probably shouldn’t take anything. Should leave something instead.

Giant crocs who can be appeased with hearts

@ anon

So, in my campaign, almost all the PCs have a dead sibling, so I try to emphasize familial bonds in the story. Would having the BBEG's goal to bring back their own dead sibling be keeping to the motif or just lazy writing? Any suggestions for alternatives or ways to make that more interesting?

Whats bad about bringing your sibling back? Obviously raising the dead is a bit iffy but if I was one of your players I wouldn’t hunt him down for doing that. Maybe his sibling is bigger, badder, and generally better at doing evil stuff.

@didthething

My players are wandering through a mountainous region, with occasional Kobold tribes interspersed. They are searching for an old tower surrounded by a thick, cloying fog. What might they run into while they are wandering about?

I don’t have a monster manual, but I’d look into that to help you out! Rocs could be funny, since they sound like “rocks”. Bullets? Birds, goats, other typical animals you’d find on a mountain. Maybe some mountain monks or something.

@candalable

I think this is totally doable for your first game. Neat idea! I think your plot is fine, I don’t have any points. Since this is set in one place, make this places VERY detailed. Names, ages, jobs of all npcs they come across, town export and import, etc. Not sure about puzzles since everything sets back to normal tbh.

@anon

I'm DMing a session and my players are in a campaign where they're in a magical rubix cube dungeon that rotates and opens paths to new rooms when they interact with certain parts of the room they're in. I'm trying to design each room to be unique in both it's layout and what kind of challenge they'll have to go through, and i've already got three rooms planned out, but i'm running dry on cool ideas for puzzles, traps, or fun battles for them to stumble into. There are 5 players if it helps.

@anon

Could read through my blog and see if you can apply/tweak any to a room. Look up popular brain teasers and puzzles, twist them to a dnd setting. A room with a long staircase, halfway up you notice a really tall being just staring at you. Narrow bridge to get to the other side, but its cut. You can climb down the ladder into darkness. The other side seems slanted enough you can climb up.

@literal-trash-heap

In an adventure I'm writing, I need a monster that could make ships mysteriously vanish, but still be suitable for first level players. I was thinking maybe something to do with ghosts and the ethereal plane, but any suggestions would be terrific!

Low HP powerful monster that actually only makes ship invisible and sets them off course? Otherwise your suggestion sounds great.

@anon

In the party I have, everyone seems to be focused on only the task ahead and they aren't finding creative ways to overcome challenges. How can I change this and slyly force them into some RP and world exploration?

You can’t make them play how you want them to. If you want them to get into room A, and the door is locked and you don't want them busting it down but finding the key… make it impossible to break down. Thats as far as you can force their hand though. Maybe they like the straight path? You can introduce some NPCs that want to show them the world, or need an escort.

@anon

Several sessions ago the party I have been DMing helped an Armorer and a Weaponsmith get together. Now, they've been invited to their wedding. It looks like the party wants to go so I want to spice it up a bit. I'm thinking some sort of monster should attack mid vows but I'm not sure what would be good. The wedding will take place in a city set on the side of a mountain, and the players should be about level five by the time they get there. But I have no idea what the monster should be

@anon

Look in the monster manual? Maybe there is a crazed ex lover that wants revenge. Maybe some giant birds want the bird seed, or see shiny objects in the wedding like the rings or decorations.

@anon

im dming for my four friends, but two of them chose to be bards, and the other two are a cleric and a wizard. should i like, force some of them to change roles or is there someway for me to change monsters and enemies so they dont get completely junked

I’d tell everyone everyone’s class, see if they’re okay with that, and treat them like any normal party. I treat my normal parties like they CAN die… but if they’re nice and don’t do stupid stuff, they only almost die. I don’t force my players but if you’re cool with that and so are they, go for it I guess.

@cometgrace

I have a question, if you don't mind. I'm really interested in playing d&d but I have no friends who would be interested so I'm looking to play it online. The problem is, I have absolutely no experience with the game and I know pretty much nothing. What's a good way a get started and figure out the game? or a good way to just learn the ropes?

Read up the players handbook and go online! Roll20.net is something people use. You can also find game shops in your town that host [free] dnd nights with tables for you to use! For free! Most people are patient. Just be up front that that you’re new and do your best to play along.

@gxjira

i have an idea for a campaign and several little details for it but for some reason i cant connect them? so far i have a tiny town full of completely regular people, a well with weird powers, the lunar eclipse and a bad time

Sorry but there isn’t nearly enough information for me to help you out!

@synodicstudying

I have a new DND session this weekend and I'm dusting off one of my old character ideas- a wood elf druid with a chronically ill wife and a 10 year old stepson, driven by trying to find the cure for her wife. She's definitely a motherly figure, with an emphasis on healing and shapeshifting abilities who I mean to make into the glue of the party, but I just got the setting. We're in the Arctic. Any ideas on how to adapt her to fit?

I love your idea so much! Why not have her travel from your beautiful home continent? The arctic supposedly has the oldest seed in the world, frozen in time. And its one of the things you need for your wife!

@anon

So my players have unknowingly contacted the first arcs Big Bad and asked them for work. The Big Bad has been scrying on them and is slowly recognizing them as a threat, not just an annoyance. He's in a really good position to get rid of them without losing his sterling reputation. Any suggestions on how he could do this without tipping his hand that he's a villain to the party until it's too late?

Having them do tasks that kind of fuck up the town, or powerful people only. Tasks like taking a package from the Yarl to X address, instead of Y making it look like you stole it.

#ahh this took like an hour and a half #i gotta start answering them as I get them #dnd #d&d #Dungeons and Dragons #not inspo #ask #asks

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morkaischosen · 7 years ago

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Some thoughts on Princess Fusilli as a miraculous character! Focusing on the arc-colours I thought she’d fit, mostly.

Let’s look at Knight Arcs first.

Allegory changes her a lot; she turns into a reincarnation or reawakening of an ancient mythic rat hero, like King Arthur or Jupiter Jones. Definitely on-theme, though! Her Role is Rat Princess (or later King or Queen), and her Failing is (Swashbuckling) Heroism. Her Truth will depend on game setup, but might be to do with defeating a monster, negotiating an important peace, or being found in a long-sealed cave and adopted by the Rat King.

The powers mostly just fit. Wonder-Worker applies when she’s acting with royal authority; as a rat of rats, she can scamper anywhere through hidden ways; bring out the heroism within people; and awaken the world around her for a musical number. Stolen Form feels a bit odd, but we’ll deal.

I suspect her miraculous weapon is a rifle so accurate it can hit precisely what you want to hit and nothing else, perhaps even metaphorically - the ability to aim a bullet to hit the connection between a possessing spirit and somebody’s head seems appropriate for the Elegant Rifle Princess.

Her Taboo probably reinforces the formal role of a Princess - maybe she must give an audience to people who request one with the appropriate formalities, and is bound not to harm them while they continue to adhere to good etiquette.

Become Somebody does a similar thing, but focuses more on the tension between the freedom of Adventure! and the responsibilities of a princess. Matching this theme, it feels a little more tense, a touch darker - Commanding Aura, in particular, sits in an uncomfortable place for a Rat, forcing people to conform to her story rather than simply bringing them into it. I almost feel this fits better for a Fusilli who’s at risk of that inner tension turning her into a Mystery, especially as the unpleasant side of Commanding Aura is so in tune with the tension between her Role and Failing here.

Knave of Hearts, by contrast, feels like it works best as turning Princess Fusilli into a spirit of Adventure and Heroism, bringing people into a heroic tale. Could be fun! It’s not an arc I’ve ever got into my head that well, though - I always feel it seems to fit better as a Storyteller arc, since its whole focus seems to be on bringing others into the drama of your life rather than growing into that role yourself.

Speaking of Storyteller Arcs!

Creature of the Light has an interesting feel here. Fusilli appearing and disappearing through her connections, entrancing the eye with her beautiful Formal Arts, and bringing up long-forgotten memories does work, but I feel like it pushes towards a numinous, almost impersonal style - more spiritual presence than dashing hero. I could imagine her being played and ending up in a place where that made sense, but I don’t think it’s the core of what she’s about.

Creature of Fable feels more like her sort of drama. Between the Boundaries lets her get things done by courtly intrigue or by being well-known as an envoy of the Rat King between scenes; she always looks elegant and stylish; she gets Superior Hunter to add another weapon to her arsenal of adventure, and one that covers a lot of ground the skills I gave her miss. Cut the Soul is, I think, an ancient ratly art for fighting Mysteries, allowing the greatest heroes to deny their foe-gods their powers even as the Mysteries by their nature attempt to deny ratness. The rest of the powers don’t feel quite so appropriate to me as things the Princess does but I do like them as author-stance tools for her player to shape the story - “aha, you thought that was Princess Fusilli you were fighting, but in fact it was your friend!” - but I could see it framed as an extension of those ratly mystery-fighting arts; the best way to avoid the Mysteries absorbing you into their context is to master the secrets that make you the author of the world’s story, so that you can be sure of having Drama, Adventure, Individuality and all the rest of what makes you a Rat. Again, this moves into a somewhat darker space; she can use these secret mysteries to manipulate the emotional truths of those around her, so I’d only go to Creature of Fable 2+ with the “Princess Fusilli gets miraculous author powers” framing if that was space I wanted to explore.

Creature of Delirium… really doesn’t feel appropriate. Don’t think I’m going to waste my time.

Onto Aspect, then!

The Ace. Yes. Next question.

Chosen One… I’m unconvinced; she’d basically need a full rewrite onto a more magical princess angle. Doable, but not where I want to take this.

Reality Syndrome also doesn’t feel that appropriate to me; I think the closest I’d get is a kind of Dramatic Appropriateness Aura, and honestly Knave and Fable both handle that much better. It could probably be done but I don’t see a reason to try.

While I didn’t consider Bindings as a starting arc for her, it does also seem like a good fit - she’s a bridge between the normal world and the Court of the Rat King, and of course to the world of Adventure and Mysteries - so I’ll look at those next.

Gatekeeper is the story of Princess Fusilli’s role as a priest of the Mystery cult - which, as with everything else in rat religion, means fighting them. It gives her deep understanding of the Mysteries and allows her to trap them and their servants and draw on them for power. This feels like a pretty major statement about the setting, so use with care, but it also feels damn cool. I’m a sucker for a bit of religion in my RP and elegant rifle-wielding princess-priest defeating monster-gods and then wielding their power is one of the most incredibly awesome images I have ever seen. Yes please.

Precise details depend too much on the exact Mysteries in play, the relationship of the Rats with them, and so on, so I’m not going to work on that too much more, but I’d definitely play this.

(Shout-out to Oblivious as a fantastic extra bit of princess drama!)

Princess Fusilli is one of the best Gatecrasher characters I’ve looked at. The world of the Rats feels tailor-made to be a Gatecrasher’s Hidden World - it’s alongside and throughout Fortitude (and the Far Roofs) but most people don’t really know what goes on behind the rat-sized doors.

Her Speciality is Superior Princess. HELL YES.

This gives her an Understanding of etiquette, diplomacy and romance, I think; getting the heroic angle in would be cool but heroism might be so much a part of the Secret World of Rats that it’s better to keep that for other abilities.

Mind over Body is mostly really good makeup and it being impolite to bleed on the carpet; and of course everyone in the heroic world of the Rats can do things like climb walls, burst through windows at dramatically appropriate moments, and so on.

Her plot devices certainly include diplomatic and social contacts, but I also like the idea of her having devices from the Three Formal Arts - a dance that entrances the eye or changes the weather, a formal plea for an audience that always grants a half-hour’s safe passage, or a rapier technique that can cut away a magical curse, perhaps.

The last few abilities scale things up so that her princess-heroism is so princess-heroic she can work on the miraculous level more directly, which feels appropriate and excitingly flexible!

Wounded Angel, by contrast, isn’t so much her style. Maybe an upsetting AU version, but I can’t be bothered putting the time into that one right now.

Scanning over the other arcs, Impresario might be fun but feels like it puts too much focus on other people doing things; Indomitable looks amusing but not actually her style; and the rest don’t inspire me, so I’m pretty happy this is where I’m going with the Hypothetical Miraculous Princess Fusilli.

No close matches on canon people-types, really; she’s not far off the hypothetical Zu but that’s on Light, not Fable, which was much less inspiring. Warmain Princess Fusilli also sooooooort of fits off the arcs but it’s a bit odd.

Based on level of HELL YEAH I think I’d go Allegory, Creature of Fable, The Ace and Gatecrasher as pseudocanonical options, but with a well-disposed HG I’d be looking interestedly at Gatekeeper because of the whole mysteries-as-religion angle there. I think Creature of Fable 1 and Gatecrasher 2 would be where I’d put the default-ish Princess Fusilli, as that focuses in on the dashingly heroic rat-princess themes; Allegory brings in a reincarnation-y plot arc, while the Ace makes her super cool but doesn’t feel like it adds as much flavour, and Gatekeeper puts a very different twist on her social role.

This has been a whole lot of entertaining thinking, and thoughts on this are very welcome, especially if someone’s inspired enough by my ideas to actually want to play this character!

#cmwge #princess fusilli #cmwge pc

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vegas-glitz · 5 years ago

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How Publishers Decide on Manuscripts

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How Publishers Pick out Fiction Manuscripts For Print And Gain

Anyone has a tale to convey to, and common desire is to publish a e book. This desire arrives from several dreams no matter whether financially or level of popularity driven. The advent of the private personal computer supplies just more than enough inspiration to get amateurs started on their means to creating. The simplicity of computer system word processing revolutionized the ease of composing, letting for more would be writers.

With the avalanche of manuscript submissions the rules for getting books had to adjust. The publishing businesses had to create tips and redefine. To remedy the trouble, we have to discover out how publishers select fiction manuscripts for print and revenue. Background

With motivation to produce currently being the driving force, it wasnt unheard of fifteen yrs ago for potential authors to bang out manuscripts on word processors or electrical typewriters. The Authors would go by way of a rewrite changing as numerous web pages as needed. This rewrite may possibly demand working through full chapters given that a improve to a person paragraph would disrupt the numbering of sequential webpages. Once finished, the creator then experienced reedit quite a few occasions prior to he experienced the best draft of the globes best novel. A likely novelist may well be thwarted by this kind of as a complicated process, his story hardly ever place to paper.

To remedy the present-day demand, around 5,000 publishing companies start out up each calendar year, and with that hopes of great money and literary achievement as they contend to fill shelf and cyberspace. In accordance to R.R. Bowker Organization (Cox 2000), 53,000 new book titles roll of the presses. The cold hard reality is that only 3 out of ten books basically make dollars for the publisher. The analyze of all publishers and how they will need to do business to realize success would be exhausting and not condensed enough to suit into this presentation.

Publishing residences print generally two varieties of publications: fiction, non-fiction. Non-fiction textbooks go over biographies, self-assistance, how to, journey, and myriad genres as well a lot of to record. Likewise, fiction books deal with thriller, faith, historical, horror, criminal offense, and/or a combination of the over. I will report how fiction publishers compete for accomplishment in a fiction manufacturing industry. Technique

Publishers seek out a selected form of reader dependent on the style they focus in. For instance, William D. Watkins, acquisitions editor of Broadman & Holman Publishing, described in a 1998 authors meeting that publishers of religious fiction seek out their examining audience 35-calendar year-outdated girls viewers. On the other hand, not only does a publisher these kinds of as Bethany Textbooks contend with publishers of the similar style, they have to entice this exact viewers out of the at any time-well known self-help segment of the bookstore.

Nonetheless, right before the printing, fiction writers ship their earth shattering manuscripts to publishers. They want to be printed to fulfill their egos, generate dollars, acquire notoriety, be a part product, or contribute to the literary treasury (McHugh, 1999). These authors contend towards astronomical figures of other manuscripts sent to the really identical acquisitions editor. Assortment Requirements

The Acquisitions Editor has the big work of getting proactive in the composing sector area. Authors find many publishers mainly because they are authorities in the subject which they publish. These specialists/publishers split down the business into departments of fiction and non-fiction, and then by style. An acquisitions editor may well uncover himself functioning in a office or style and will be proactive in locating new authors, exploring the market, negotiating contracts and producing publications.

Cox also relates that the acquisitions editor is active working with unsolicited manuscripts. This is a sensitive spot considering that not way too many publishers want to hazard the $10,000 to $18,000 it normally takes to publish book on an unfamiliar or unpublished creator. Even so, the extremely manuscripts they reject one more firm may well accept and publish a finest seller.

Movie star utilized to offer books (Marks, 1998) now the development has changed. Marks explained that among 1995 and 1998 the profits of hardback books have lessened 7.5 percent. The big e book publishing firms who utilized to award million greenback contracts can no for a longer period pay for to do so. Smarter acquisitions are essential.

The acquisitions editor must have a normal for picking manuscripts and adhere to that demanding set of procedures. The manuscript have to have plausible people and the writing should not be grammatically or technically flawed. The story requires to be excellent as the editor has small time to invest on sloppy crafting. Eventually, the manuscript ought to meet up with the specifications of the publishing company. For instance, Broadman and Holman Publishing Firm does not want erotica or profanity and the Wilshire Publishing Organization only needs tales that have figures conquering insurmountable odds (Young 2000). Furthermore, numerous Christian Publishers do not want angels to miraculously descend and rescue a heroine. Salesmanship

The moment he selects a manuscript, the acquisitions editor will have to be ready to both of those provide his corporation to a very likely creator and offer an author to his company. According to McHugh, he could possibly pitch author credentials, issue of reserve, the description of the function, advertising and marketing to qualified audience, finances and editorial progress. This is the person most very likely to make or break the results of his company.

If the acquisitions editor manages to promote the manuscript, the organization will have to straight away start off a internet marketing plan. This shouldnt be far too tricky at this stage because the acquisitions editor probably bundled a promoting technique shared by the proposing author or devised by himself. Early on, the publisher ought to fulfill thoughts of who is the supposed viewers, exactly where can we reach them, is the writer ready to vacation to sign the reserve, should really the creator vacation, how a lot need to the guide value, how lots of copies ought to we make? Cox also indicated that the deficiency of a great publicity will result in a literary masterpiece to fail. Dialogue

Even though these thoughts are probed, a choice committee is examining the manuscript to confirm the acquisitions editors hunch. They also search for validity of the tale and can the tale sell to the meant audience. This committee of reviewers will have as significantly pull as the acquisitions editor as they share obligation on reserve acceptance. This creator managed to have a manuscript recognized by an acquisitions editor pending on the result of the evaluation committee. The committee voted not to take the manuscript. In the course of the acquisitions system, the editor will not often make contact with the creator and may well reject the manuscript without the need of providing cause. This is because of to the higher quantity of submissions. Editorial Worries

An evaluation of the producing method may uncover an inexperienced creator with an concept just typing absent. Later, as he continuously researches his trade, he learns information about writing technicalities that drive him to reconstruct his story. One disheartening problems new authors make is Stage of Perspective (POV). This phrase describes who is speaking and what they are emotion. Abusing POV in a tale causes confusion for the reader.

Consider this case in point:

John and his occasion approached the leading of the crest, as they wove by the underbrush. Although continue to 20 yards from the clearing, John could make out Marta and a further male carrying a pot. He read threatening voices, but couldnt discern what was mentioned.

He and his warriors approached the clearing bit by bit, methodically. He realized he had the benefit of include and concealment, but Angus experienced the large floor, and Marta. Small of a far better strategy, John dispersed his remaining 3 guys to advantageous positions and experienced them completely ready their fire. You there, in the clearing. You are absolutely surrounded. Launch the lady, and you gainedt get damage he yelled, sounding like a scene from bad film.

Martas eyes perked up and her coronary heart beat with new lifetime. John! she referred to as out excitedly prior to remaining pulled down. You fellas are going to get it now.

Will you be sure to just shut up! Angus put his hand about her mouth even though keeping his pistol to her head. Hear out there, possibly we can make a offer, he...explained slowly and gradually climbing, applying Marta for go over. John was fuming, hardly in command. His fists clenched and unclenched with unbridled fury. It experienced been also a great deal observing them thrust Marta close to, but now they hid guiding her. He motioned for two warriors to remain, as he took one particular with him. His thoughts was operating furiously, hoping to keep forward of Anguss doable moves. He and his warrior would circle, flanking Angus. If his warriors have been fantastic sufficient, they may well have a clean shot. What form of deal did you have in mind? John shouted before transforming positions.

This POV is disconcerting due to the fact the reader is thrown close to from the ideas of a person character to the other. The subsequent is an illustration of superior POV:

John and his social gathering approached the leading of the crest as they wove through the underbrush a number of hours later. Even though nonetheless twenty yards from the clearing, John could make out Marta and one more male carrying a pot. He heard threatening voices, but couldnt discern what was reported. He and his warriors approached the clearing bit by bit, methodically. He knew he had the edge of cover and concealment, but Angus experienced the large ground, and Marta. Limited of a much better approach, John dispersed his remaining three gentlemen to beneficial positions and experienced them completely ready their fire. You there, in the clearing. You are fully surrounded. Release, Marta and you receivedt get hurt, John yelled, sounding like a scene from negative movie. He listened to Marta contact his title with a voice total of hope. Then he observed Angus knock her down. You fellas are likely to get it now, he considered.

Pay attention out there, possibly we can make a offer, reported Angus.

John was fuming, hardly in handle. His fists clenched and unclenched with unbridled fury. It experienced been as well a lot observing them push Marta all around, but now they hid at the rear of her. He motioned for two warriors to keep on being, as he took one with him. His intellect was working furiously, making an attempt to retain forward of Angus feasible moves. He and his warrior would circle, flanking Angus. If his warriors were being superior more than enough, they might have a clean shot. What type of deal did you have in mind? John shouted prior to modifying positions. With the latter POV, the reader lives the scene by means of one characters eyes.

Author Duty

Just to fortify, reconstructing a tale both handwritten or typed was a terrible process only a number of decades ago. Much less authors basically submitted tales. Publishers could select and opt for as they sought out new authors. Now, the computer enables chopping and pasting, computerized web page numbering, tab setting and site formatting. Possessing much easier obtain to completing a novel brought on numerous extra submissions (Sally, 1999). The publishing firms experienced to adjust its eyesight of trying to get authors to filtering as a result of the piles of infinite manuscript submissions. Now, it is a lot easier to produce a guide but more challenging to publish it. The publishers have created strict submission rules that place the creator in a placement to be editor and publicist just to get a question letter read through.

Acquisition

These days, manuscripts end up in one particular of three piles review later, discard, and evaluate instantly. The acquisitions editor has to have a system of motion to filter via the avalanche of mail that comes his way. Some authors haphazardly send total manuscripts, wholly disregarding the publishers needs. Both they dont know what to ship, or they are arrogant ample to assume their manuscript ought to get priority about all others. The editors have stringent policies they should adhere to, if not, the corporation could operate all-around acquiring manuscripts that are defective and not serving the demands of the audience.

The evaluation afterwards pile is in which an unidentified creator who has done his homework will most probable obtain himself. The authors have researched the name and mailing tackle of the acquisitions editor, they have submitted their manuscript in accordance with the publisher coverage. This generally implies a writer has despatched out a letter telling of their guide, and the editor wrote again inquiring for either a synopsis of the e-book or the full textual content manuscript. Most very likely the editor will able to get to and react to this pile inside 4 months.

The discard pile is not normally a heap of worthless manuscripts. This pile is composed of manuscripts that do not fulfill the demands of the publisher. Either the content is mistaken, the paper is grammatically incorrect, or is made up of other significant flaws that draw damaging awareness to by itself. At last this consists of authors who have carried out almost everything the right way, but for 1 motive or one more (hardly ever specified), the publisher receivedt convert it into a e-book. These rejections would usually be returned to an writer if the creator prepaid return postage. The golden rule for remaining out of this pile is to have an understanding of the requirements of the business, ship a perfect draft, observe all submission guide traces, and include things like a self dealt with stamped envelope.

Oh to be in the evaluation promptly pile. This pile is reserved for many unique authors. One particular established of authors could have pitched the book at a authors convention and gained the assurance of the editor soon after a face-to-deal with assembly. One more established of authors is properly acknowledged with whom the firm had either designed initial contact or by now experienced a performing romance.

Production

This course of action may possibly seem cruel and inhumane, leaving several authors operate screaming in aggravation. However, it is like any small business exactly where the workers grumble but do not have the stress of carrying their providers on their work opportunities and reputations. Think about this excerpt from an The united states Property Publishing Firms publishing deal. This agreement is entered into by the two functions in good faith, with the mutual understanding that neither party has confirmed, or is to assurance, the sale of any distinct number of copies of the said literary work, it remaining unattainable to predict, before publication, what achievements any book might achieve.

The previous paragraph assures that the publisher assumes the risk of manuscript variety. The manuscript is only as thriving as the advertising professionalism of a publishing company and the potential of the creator. Noneffective publicity is undoubtedly a person threat the two events get. Even so a loosely penned manuscript is likely to be torn aside by a knowlegable e book reviewer. Recalling the previously section on POV, take into consideration this paraphrase from a evaluate the point of check out in this story switched often leaving the reader confused (Military Instances, 2001). This sort of assertion will have viewers scurrying absent from the newstands. Not a effective ingredient to the success of a e book.

We can see how publication has adjusted above the previous two a long time. Income that had flowed freely to wine and dine authors and million greenback advancements no more time exist. New publishing businesses arise regular monthly to rival and steal business enterprise from corporate giants. The funds faucet is clogged leaving publishing houses acquiring ingenious ways to publish and make profit. Most of the reponsibility lies on the acquisitions editor who need to have foresight, instinct, a disciplined collection strategy, and a publicists coronary heart. Thier observe of avoidance and high quality handle function hand in hand towards productive e book publishing.

References

Cox, J. Self-Publishing: Recommendations, methods, & procedures. The book lovers haven 26 paragraphs. Retrieved February 6, 2001 from the World Broad World-wide-web: [http://www.execpc.com/~mbr/bookwatch/writepub/]

Marks, J. (1998, January 12). Publish and dont perish. U.S. News five web pages Retrieved February 16, 2001 from the Globe Huge Web: [http://www.usnews.com/usnews/issue/980112/12publ.htm]

McHugh, J. Far more checklists of acquisitions strategies and procedures. The publishing law heart 2 internet pages Retrieved February 16, 2001 from the Entire world Vast Internet: http://publaw.com/test2.html

Stuart, S. E. (1998) Christian writers market place guideline. Illinois: Harold Shaw Publishers. Youthful, W. (2000) Christian e book writers marketing and advertising tutorial. California: Pleasure Publishing

Source by Jeffrey Bennett

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ebookcreator47 · 5 years ago

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Creating a Christian eBook Cover

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You probably have heard the saying, "don't judge a book by its cover." But in reality people do in fact judge a book by its cover. It is the first thing they see that makes the book content tangible to them, and many individuals within a split moment of setting their eyes on a book cover decide whether they think a book is worth their money and time. So, what is my point exactly? Creating an excellent Christian ebook cover is just as important as its rich, valuable content. It is the cover of your ebook that may make someone decide to read the excerpt about your ebook content, and possibly purchase and download it to read. Therefore, creating a Christian ebook cover is not a task that you can afford to take lightly or for granted. This is a critical component of the creation of your Christian ebook, as well as its promotion and marketing success.

An ebook is a digital product that is also digitally delivered. So, 100% of your customers or readers encounter your Christian ebook online. These customers at the same time see many other ebooks. So, how do you get them to focus on your own ebook with its Christian content? Even if your Christian ebook is free, you still need to generate enough interest and curiosity in your potential readers to get them to download it, and hopefully, read it.

You need to master the art of designing your own ebook cover; one, because it is essential, and two, because it would cost you a bit to hire a graphics designer to design covers for all the ebooks that you plan to write. So, you do need to learn to "fish" for and by yourself. Also, as an author of a Christian ebook you need to capture the vision of your inspiration on the cover.

Deciding on what ebook cover creator software that you are to invest your money to purchase, and time to learn how to use, should depend on a number of factors:Read more here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIJksoZXTnp1ks1Cgb81sg

1. Your budget. How much money do you currently have? Sometimes, your budget may in fact be a full circle zero. Yes, I mean that literally. So, what do you do? You cannot purchase an ebook cover creator software for zero dollars? Here's what I suggest in this kind of situation: search the Internet for free PDF software such as Primo PDF program, which is a Free PDF Converter Tool. This is not a trial PDF version; it is actually free. So, download and install this free PDF application. Write your Christian ebook in a word processing program. Hopefully, you have access to a word program, such as Microsoft word. You can convert your word file to a PDF file using the free PDF converter tool that you downloaded and installed on your personal computer. You can also create a cover design in word, yes I know this sounds unreal, but you can actually do this, and then convert it to a PDF file. This is for a zero budget, for writing and creating your first Christian ebook. This is very possible and doable.

2. You have limited budget for creating an ebook and its cover, and you do not wish to be bothered with the "technical" aspects of ebook creation. Write and edit your ebook and then submit your ebook to a Christian website that charges zero dollars to less than $40.00 or higher. They will publish and sell your ebook at no additional cost to you. You will receive royalty payment for every time someone buys your ebook.

3. You have a reasonable budget and plan to write multiple Christian ebooks. You can invest in purchasing an ebook cover creator software application. Prices can range from $19.99 to less than $200. You may even get cheaper prices on eBay. My suggestion is that you start with minimal cost or investment that will offer you a high yield on your investment. In other words, purchase an ebook cover creator software that does not cost much, creates brilliant covers and is easy to use. Get independent opinions from other individuals who have used different kinds of ebook cover creator software, that is, before you commit to purchasing one. Read ebook Blogs and sample individual opinions about ebook cover creator software. Be vigilant in your sampling of opinions because sometimes the owners of the software post favorable opinions to get people to purchase their product.

Many of the ebook cover creator software owners also offer re-sell rights. So, you buy the software and you can also sell it to others. This way, you can make some profit, or at the very least, recover the money you invested in purchasing the software.

As a Christian ebook writer, creator and publisher, who may give away an ebook for free, or decide to start selling such ebooks, you do not have the option to produce low quality ebooks. Aside from the fact that you have numerous competitors, both from the secular and Christian ebook markets, you also need to represent excellent works for the Body of Christ, God's Kingdom here on earth. If you plan to teach, preach or evangelize with your Christian ebooks, then you must present quality covers and content that can and will gain and sustain the focus of your readers. I stress that you really need to select a good ebook cover creator software that makes brilliant covers, and at the same time, is easy to use. The same applies to the ebook creator software that you choose to purchase and use in creating your Christian ebook.

Don't loose out on potential readers by presenting a low quality, or mediocre Christian ebook cover. Let the light of the glory of God who inspires you to write also reflect on your first and subsequent ebook covers. God is excellent in all His ways and has also given us a spirit of excellence. So, let your Christian ebook cover stand out above others, especially your secular competitors.

Remember that an ebook cover makes the content more tangible and more real to your potential readers. This is an instant subconscious process that could work in your favor, if you have a brilliant, professional and inspirational Christian ebook cover. Also, excellent images tend to stick to a person's subconscious memory. So, you want to design a Christian ebook cover that is hard to ignore or forget.

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weightlossfitness2 · 5 years ago

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The Things I “Think” I Did “Right”

All the air quotes on the earth in that weblog publish title…and that’s not by mistake. Parenting isn’t for the weak. Kids are wonderful, exhausting, valuable, life-giving, and all so very totally different. There’s no guide for this and so there’s the web to assist us all alongside. These ideas stem from the inflow of infants into my beloved one’s worlds and the uptick in dialog involving all issues child and toddler. With ladies who at the moment are 5 and three, my life appears to be like a bit totally different than it did when boobs, bottles, and diapers consumed my waking hours. I didn’t have all of it found out then (NO ONE does) and I don’t have all of it determine now…however seasons of parenting have handed. It is with cherished fondness and disbelief in how rapidly they got here and went, whereas a few of my nearest and dearests are drowning within the chaos that’s life with a brand new child. And so, this publish felt well timed and cathartic for me. Do not take any of this as creed, however quite the ideas and opinions of a Midwestern working mother who’s attempting to do her greatest!

The 10 Things I “Think” I Did “Right”

Honor the bedtime. Routine is nice…for everybody. Looking again, had I not had a predictable bedtime for the youngsters to maintain me sane, it might’ve been dangerous for everybody. I’m an individual who requires steadiness on a day-to-day foundation. I require “me” time every day. I make no apologies for that as a result of for me, it’s what permits me to be one of the best guardian I will be. We all know, or at the least hear, caring for ourselves first permits us to higher look after others. What you do with that point? Do what you like. After my youngsters go to mattress, it’s time I spend vegging on the sofa, running a blog, podcasting, enjoying hockey or tennis, or going out with pals – all of that are tremendous necessary to me. Parenting mustn’t require you to lose your identification or stop the actions you like. However, making certain the time to incorporate stated actions requires a little bit of construction and so look to create that construction by honoring the bedtime. Consistency of sleep breeds constant sleep. Not as soon as have my ladies ever left their room after being put down for the evening, no matter who’s in the home. Bedtime means…mattress. And if mornings come a bit too early, might I counsel the OK to Wake clock? Game changer.

Keep the bedtime routine easy. Mark or I aren’t all the time those to place our ladies to sleep and over the course of their lives, they’ve skilled a number of caregivers – from household to pals to babysitters. Keeping the bedtime routine easy sufficient to be replicated by anybody is essential to a profitable night away, whatever the circumstances. I hear so many pals get roped into a posh sequence of calls for from their youngsters within the moments main as much as mattress. For us, it’s tooth brushing, potty, a ebook every (learn collectively in one in all their beds), a tune for Piper, and 5 minutes of snuggles for Shea. The entire routine is 10 minutes, 15 max – depends upon what books they choose. If they select Where the Wild Things Are, they’re my favourite child of the day. If they select Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You, I like it and cry. Every time. This easy routine that doesn’t veer off track permits anybody to step in, when wanted. It additionally ensures caregivers take pleasure in being with the youngsters – you all the time need your babysitters to say sure, and that doesn’t all the time boil right down to an hourly fee.

Limit display screen time, particularly hand-helds. This is a slippery slope and one that every one households can be on in some unspecified time in the future. Holding out so long as doable is essential. With uncommon exception, telephones or the iPad are by no means supplied on automotive rides (nonetheless, we now have by no means exceeded three straight hours within the automotive) or in eating places, medical appointments, and so forth. It’s merely not one thing they anticipate and so the battle isn’t there. Admittedly, handing over a tool would make issues 1000x simpler in lots of cases, however we’ve made a concerted effort to do it “the hard way” in limiting know-how in an try and not create little hellions. Those gadgets are ADDICTING. Consistently, the women are supplied the iPad on weekends whereas I/we exercise. This permits a structured, but restricted publicity and I need to say, they by no means give grief when it’s time handy the iPad again to me. They are, nonetheless, very dedicated to my at-home train routine When out, we strive to decide on kid-friendly eating places and breweries to spend time. We go ready with coloring books, markers, video games, and so forth. It’s not all the time simple, however nearly all the time, we achieve not providing know-how to make it by. Oh, and dancing is all the time inspired! Free leisure for me. At residence, the TV goes on at 7pm apart from on weekends after we begin our day with an hour or so of cuddle time on the sofa with Paw Patrol or the flavour of the week. Boundaries and consistency – there has by no means been rebuttal.

Baby led weaning. It’s easy – supply child what you’re consuming. It’s the lazy method, actually. Messy, sure…however there’s no thought to place into it. And anecdotally, I can inform you it really works – for me and others in my area who’ve used and studied child led weaning. The premise is just that as little folks, they require nothing particular by way of meals – no sure shapes, colours, sizes, textures, and so forth. Give meals of their pure state. When my youngsters have been beginning BLW, it seemed like handing them an apple (entire, presumably peeled) or a bit of avocado. It’s not the mashed up, pureed, diced or shredded to a pre-chewed consistency stuff. Adults with out tooth eat steak and corn-the-cob. Your child can adapt and take a look at any and all textures – give it a strive. Start early – like, 5-6 months. Aversions to tastes and textures can begin very early on. Consider nothing off-limits except it’s too spicy or closely seasoned. Cold celery makes an incredible teething stalk – give it a whirl. In the top, if you’d like good eaters, feed them something and all the pieces.

Don’t babysit. A Montessori method consists of plenty of self-play. I realized early on that my youngsters did greatest after I IGNORED them. Yes, you probably did learn that appropriately. For fairly a while, this got here with guilt. As a working mother, I come residence solely to let me youngsters entertain themselves? It appeared…incorrect. Being capable of look again on this journey of independence, I can see that it might be an absence of helicopter parenting that permits them to stroll by life confidently and independently. Next to by no means do my ladies require my presence, a lot much less ask for it. Please don’t misconstrue, although – I’m there, I’m simply not demanded. This sense of independence has additionally translated to much less “stranger danger”, separation anxiousness, and so forth. It has been years since one in all my youngsters cried after I’ve left or been away. Part of all mother and father crave that have to be needed, however the strengths of youngsters’s confidence is much extra necessary. Let youngsters be youngsters. They are imaginative, inventive, sensorial, and wish you lower than chances are you’ll need to come to phrases with. Do everybody a favor by nurturing the quiet alone and watch them develop and develop earlier than your eyes. When your youngsters amaze you in your absence is when you may actually really feel success as a guardian. Do you understand how many cute conversations I’ve heard whereas making dinner in silence as my eating room turns right into a magical artwork studio? Priceless.

Don’t get carried away with gift-giving. You know what younger youngsters love? YOU. Their household. Not STUFF. We groom them to need STUFF. Gifts for my youngsters are restricted to Christmas and birthdays and even then, what they get is restricted. This 12 months, they’re each requesting a yo-yo I can deal with that. At their joint birthday celebration, we firmly requested NO presents. For mother and father that insisted, a recreation that the youngsters may play collectively that day was voiced as a most popular possibility. By and enormous, accrued toys are simply that…accrued (and never essentially loved). They simply don’t want a lot. My excessive heels and winter equipment carry extra pleasure than some other toy to this point. The season of want-want-want is coming for us…this I do know (and dread). But we’re not there but and I do suppose that’s, at the least partially, as a result of some very intentional boundaries on presents.

Set expectations for the every day grind. You want and deserve assist, and youngsters are succesful folks – they’re you in a smaller physique. I don’t drink the Montessori Kool-Aid fully, nonetheless, this guideline is one I cling to. Shy of three years of age, my youngsters are/have been able to following a sequence of instructions and carrying them out. For instance, “Mommy is going up stairs to brush her teeth and put on her clothes for work. When you finish eating, please brush your teeth toothbrushes on the sink ledge with toothpaste on them, go potty, and put on your shoes and jackets.” Almost all the time, that is executed by the point I return from upstairs. Help from a sibling will be instrumental, however even nonetheless, youngsters are able to much more than we generally give them credit score for. Repetition is essential and in these first makes an attempt, be affected person and specific gratitude and delight of their means to hold out a sequence of to-do’s. Another instance: on the way in which residence from faculty/daycare, begin dialog about what is going to occur if you get residence. I’ll say one thing like, “When we walk in the door, I’d like you to take off your shoes and jacket and take your lunchbox out of your backpack and place it on the kitchen counter.” Done. After a number of weeks, I didn’t must ask…it simply will get executed. And one of the best half? They LOVE to be useful.

Take photos and movies. Lots of them. Unapologetically. Kids change SO quick. Duh. For folks like myself with a poor reminiscence and a love for pictures, the truth that I’ve 34,000 images on my telephone is one thing I’m not ashamed to confess! There’s plenty of these which can be of meals, it’s not all child picks But, most are positively child pics. Not solely photos you seize, however take household images. Some of my favourite images of my ladies have been professionally taken on the seashore or in a fruit orchard. Regularly capturing each their magnificence and their development has been necessary to me and opposite to widespread perception, not an enormous expense. Find these seeking to flip a interest right into a enterprise and get an incredible deal – there’s plenty of expertise on the market!

Start swim classes early on. This appears a bit foolish, however infants and children naturally love water and in life, we encounter water. It’s a hazard when you can’t swim. Learning find out how to swim at a younger age makes it simpler and safer for the kid to be in and round water. It additionally makes time on the seashore and pool far more enjoyable for care-givers. Plus, it’s nice train and enjoyable!

Encourage wholesome consuming habits. This appears fundamental (and naturally, I’m a dietitian), but it surely’s one thing plenty of mother and father battle with. Things corresponding to grazing on nutritionally void snacks all through the day and providing too many alternate options at meals can lend to poor vitamin and unhealthy relationships with meals. When youngsters start first meals, they need to strive new meals – it’s innate. To maintain that love for meals alive, ensure you’re providing three meals and a couple of snacks every day. Avoid the on-the-go graze that may trigger youngsters to not be hungry come dinner time. Does roasted asparagus sound good to you if you simply ate your physique weight in goldfish crackers? Never. Choose nutritious snacks which can be supplied in age-appropriate parts. Don’t be afraid to let youngsters get hungry. If they depart the dinner desk with out consuming, that’s on them (beginning at about age 2 half). My youngsters have gone to mattress refusing dinner many instances they usually’ve not as soon as claimed starvation earlier than mattress or in the midst of the evening. As caregivers, we now have to precise our authoritative feeding model and roll with our children’ selections to eat or not eat.

Well, that was one in all my longer posts…

Be nicely,

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