#pro clone fucking

[gavamont]

I’m gonna say it, I don’t wanna fuck no scientifically derived clone. Magic clones are just better. Tier list:

S- version of you from an alternative universe (lots of variety options on this one)

A- version of you that you temporarily steal from the future

B- version of you derived from shadow magic (chance they’ll murder you, but that kinda just makes it hotter)

C- animated effigy that you splice a part of your soul into (be sure to not let the construct escape, you don’t want a second you running around, even if it has a shorter lifespan)

D- version of you that you grow from a severed body part in a clone jar (getting way to close to a science clone)

F- a clone made using lab equipment 🤢

[timetravelingmilkshake]

People who say they wouldn't fuck their clones because they hate themselves are cowards, it's called turning the lights off.

[politicalprocrastinator]

no but like imagine introducing female thematic parallels to anakin and obi wan - sisters divided by one's utmost loyalty to strict ideological duty and one's belief that you can never fix things from the inside because the system is broken and instead of writing something nuanced about how political violence has gendered implications you decide to immediately kill one of those characters off because you're a lazy loser who thinks women that don't carry weapons are boring

[godisaknife]

jeff satur selfcest multiverse

[psychomusic]

so. I've been reading some posts on the jedi order tag AND i won't talk about my opinion on "are jedi good or bad discourse" BUT i wanna point out some lore to everyone who's complaining about the jedi taking kids into their order: (in the EU) it wasn't always like this.

if you take swtor era (more than 3000 years before the prequels) there were many jedi who joined at an older age. like, for example there was a guy who broke his engagement to become one. most jedi remember their families because they were old enough when they decided to go.

THEN in darth bane's book trilogy (circa 1000 yesrs before the prequels) there is a passage where two sith lords are talking about taking bane, already an adult, to study at korriban. one doubted him because he was too old, ans the other told him he sounded like a jedi, and that ONE DAY jedi will have to accept only kids into their ranks if they really want to find "pure" people that can learn their lessons quicker.

one day!! so it wasn't always like that!! the ongoing wars with the sith, who corrupted and killed many of them, had pressured them into taking always younger people into their ranks.

also, consider a thing that this video explains super well: training to become a jedi is not like exercising, because there is a transformative lesson at the end of the training that changes everything. you can't just do as much as you can, but not finish.

the transformative lesson, as the video explains, is that through the force, everything is the same - from rocks and ships to life and death. at the end of the training you have to understand this fundamental truth.

yoda says "you have to unlearn what you have learned". during times where they were constantly killed off or corrupted by the dark side (and if you haven't learned this lesson you are more susceptible to this corrupting), younger people were taken in to actually finish their training (a training that was ultimately about being a good person AND that you could leave at any point if you weren't sold on that, too)

(remember that for the sith failure = death. like. that was the alternative for force sensitive kids. it's not like sith had any moral problem with taking kids away without consent. sith don't have moral problems: they believe that them being stronger in the force means they can do whatever they want as long as their strong enough to go and do it. there are MANY passages in many different star wars stories, even in different mediums, that say this out loud)

AND (this is more of a critical thought than just stating the lore) the fact that they started doing it out of necessity doesn't mean it's 100% good BUT you know. the whole set up of the prequels is that we're starting off the story in a period of crisis and decadence all around. most of the systems of the times were about to fall. OF COURSE they had problems. if they didn't, we wouldn't have the story to begin with.

that doesn't automatically mean jedi = bad and sith are better, tho. you wouldn't take the last, chaotic and decadent period to jugde something, would you? it's like deciding that the athenian democracy sucked because people at the times of Demosthenes failed at recognizing the new schemes in which the world was evolving into, and still believed that their city would be important as it had been in the previous century. They just didn't fucking expect the Macedons would conquer half the world known and more, and have the subsequent political power. Still, their experiences in the 5th century with democracy were very good, even better than ours on many fronts, if you contextualize a little. the jedi had flaws, and most importantly, they didn't fucking know the future and everything that ever happened, ever, so they made mistakes. that doesn't automatically make the system ill, or bad, or not-working. systems can have setbacks when the world changes. (just like athenian democracy had one when they lost the empire that was funding the democracy. they even had a tyranny for a while and then fixed the problems. that doesn't diminish retrospectively their democracy)

[cdroloisms]

The Birdhouse give their feelings on selfcest, more at eleven:

@kenjo-arts @theminecraftbox @cgogs

[jedi-enthusiast]

I can't believe "genocide is bad and no one deserves it" is an actual thing I have to explain to people

[nofucknway135]

I love Star Wars villains (not Kyle Ron) specifically because they are messy bitches who can absolutely do better but choose not to.

I love Star Wars heroes because they are messy bitches who are always trying to do better.

I love the Jedi because they are, in fact, better than everyone else by virtue of actively choosing to be good people at all points in time.

I'm just delighted by Star Wars.

[fresiants]

I'm sorry but if you refer to Severus as 'Snivellus' during an argument, your opinions become instantly invalid to me.

[roseaesynstylae]

One idea for what Sev might be doing is that he's protecting Force-sensitive children and Jedi children from the Empire. In addition to establishing him as a foil for Scorch post-brainwashing, it also puts the image of some idiot getting hit by the full force of a pissed-off commando.

[klerothesnowman]

The Acolyte was really good but I'm kind of exhausted by it

This one's more about The High Republic than it is about The Acolyte.

In a previous ramble I talked about how the Jedi being what they were supposed to be didn't make for a good movie. But you know what it was REALLY good for? Making a massively successful franchise with a billion entries for nerds to buy up obsessively. The New Republic and Luke's Jedi Order was an absolute narrative gold mine, there was so many stories that were told in that era that people remember fondly. Sure there's a lot that were total trash too but you could forgive one book being Not Great when it was fairly disposable and you had another book next to it which was a really good adventure.

There was just so much room to tell stories in a post Galactic Civil War setting. Political dramas about the New Republic, Luke struggling to find his feet as the new grandmaster of the Jedi Order, skirmishes with the remnant of the Empire, people just trying to live their life in a whacky galaxy, new Jedi finding themselves. It was hopeful, it was exciting, it was a setting that sparked your imagination and let anything be possible.

But it didn't make for good movies, so when Disney decided they wanted to make more movies they threw out all of it and made a new post Galactic Civil War galaxy. This time it's one without a new Jedi Order, the New Republic is wiped out in the first movie and the Imperial Remnant is defeated in the backstory.

I don't think it is at all a coincidence that there just isn't really any expanded universe material set in that era, there's a lot set before The Force Awakens, where this stuff still kind of exists, but there's significantly less freedom to do anything with it as it's all going to end with The Resistance and The First Order doing the original trilogy again.

Since Disney took over expanded materials pretty much solely concern themselves with times between movies, where everything has an inherent time limit attached to it and concepts can't be too big.

And I think LucasFilms really recognized that, because they made The High Republic.

I have a few problems with The High Republic. It seems a little hyper focused on Jedi, I think dividing everything into "Phases" is MCU brainrot that just sets yourself up for failure and having a single threat for an entire "Phase" kind of narrows the scope of what you can do. More importantly by shying away from having Dark Jedi there's significantly less opportunity for swashbuckling sword fights, which is what Star Wars is all about when you think about it.

But it's still a great idea. give all the Star Wars writers a playground where they can do whatever they want. Even better, set it when the Jedi are at their peak, show everyone what an Average Jedi Adventure really is, without being dragged down by the metanarrative context of the Clone Wars or Galactic Civil War.

It was just classic, Star Wars pulp. Adventure, and fun. It had a teenage Jedi Knight who had a cool lightsaber whip!

And what a breath of fresh air it is, right? Because is it just me or has Star Wars just been really grim lately? Everything always seems to be about how the Jedi suck, or the unfortunate reality of existing within a tyrannical fascist dictatorship, and don't get me wrong I enjoy it, but I would kill for some good old fashioned pulp adventure, which is why it frustrated me a little extra that I wasn't vibing with The High Republic as much as I wanted to.

And now we've got the Acolyte, which is really good. But, man... it's really grim isn't it?

And I get it, I get that the idea is that this is the "End" of the High Republic. I get that one day the upbeat and hopeful Jedi Order needs to get bogged down with institution and lose its way and then get manipulated into self collapse.

I really want to know what Justina Ireland, the writer who created Vernestra, thinks of the direction they took her character. I understand the thematic weight of taking one of the central focuses of The High Republic and showing how even she compromises and becomes part of the problem with the Order, but... Again, it's just really grim isn't it?

I guess I'm just kind of bummed out that the first Jedi focused media we get in so long is about how the Jedi suck.

[simcardiac-arrested]

i actually do want to talk about it serious takeaway: it's a horror movie but it's also a tragedy bc elisabeth would have destroyed herself, substance or not, bc no amount of external validation will fix her issues. silly takeaway: almost the whole time i was going "elisabeth is her own lesbian awakening lol" secret third thing takeaway: I Am Scared Of Needles Why Did I Watch This. fun movie

yupp i also see some ppl saying if she’d just kept the balance she would’ve been fine, but literally at the beginning of the film the entire reason she’s even offered the substance in the first place is because she’s obviously vulnerable and in a bad place !! tragedy at its finest . u are so right though that she would’ve never been satisfied substance or not because part of the problem was, heh, in Herself

[obimaulartfire]

Y'all know I had to do this meme with my Sithywans!

These photos were taken approximtely 30 seconds apart from each other. Not shown is canon Obi-wan, who is extremely disappointed in his alternate universe selves.

[monathedefiant]

i know i'm not the only one bothered that ezra's new saber doesn't have the blaster function. then again i'm bothered by a lot of things in this show. namely:

the anti jedi messages

ahsoka sugar coating anakin's everything

sabine as a jedi

sabine facing zero consequences for essentially burning the world for ezra

the cutaway from hera and ezra hugging

the lack of captain rex (that 5 second cameo was NOT enough for me)

the lack of any plo koon references (seriously? not even a mention of him as her finder)

the lack of obi-wan references (probably cuz that would've wrecked the show's desperate attempts to make anakin look like a saint)

the lack of respect for jedi culture

the lack of references to the 501st

the so-called character development

everyone but thrawn being an ineffective villain

the death of morgan elsbeth right when she gained great villain potential

[keepingmyoptionsfluid]

Buck 1.0 would have immediately had sex with his evil, sexy coma clone. I don't make the rules 🤷‍♂️

[broitsf-ckingfreezing]

SHE’S BEEN UPDATED! YEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

(I know it’s just an edit to the prologue, but there’s like a solid 1200 extra words that weren’t there before! It’s fun! We like this! We’re having a great time!)

Summary:

There’s something very weird about the Jedi. More so than what they’d learned on Kamino. They’ve been schooled on enhanced speed, crazy high pain tolerance, wisdom on the ass-end of vague, things floating—hell, Cody distantly remembers some kind of training on how to negotiate a stubborn Jedi into accepting medical treatment (cough, Kenobi and Skywalker, cough).

But there’s other stuff.

Stuff that even “space magic” can’t explain.

----

or; Clone Commanders get drunk and share stories about the weird shit their Jedi do